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heartbreakgrill · 1 year ago

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stiles stilinksi: breakable heaven; part 5, “i don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you.”

a/n: enjoy this bc it’s gonna be sad boi hours in the next part ;)

tagging: @ariianelle

the world shifted, just a little bit.

stiles and y/n found themselves spending a lot more time together. granted, that time was often under the sheets, in a locked car, or- just once- in the locker room after a game. nonetheless, the skin on skin contact always led to conversations, conversations that were deepening in content. they were getting to know each other, forming an attachment both swore would never even exist.

as the time passed, they each found solace in one another, a comfort, a sort of destressor that neither was able to substitute with anyone or anything else. neither were aware of this, but it was as present as the air.

y/n's parents were always out of town, and, while she didn’t have any doubts that they loved and supported her, they were absentee. they missed out on the everyday moments in her life. so, she was usually all by herself through it all. sure, danny came over every once and while, but there were still those periods of time where she was left, literally in the middle of nowhere, all alone. stiles was a warm body to sit next to, an attentive ear to listen to her troubles or woes, without judgement or expectations. he was just there. whenever she needed or wanted.

and, for stiles, y/n was just a human being. she didn't have claws, fangs, premonitions about his friends' deaths, or any other intense, supernatural features. this fact he was positive of since he’d had both scott and derek invade and smell her locker to ensure she was really a living, breathing, human girl.

with all he had to deal with, every single day, he was grateful to get to act like a normal teenage boy some days out of the week. laughing instead of fighting for his life, watching movies instead of drawing up investigation boards.

today was one of those bad days, for the both of them. a bad day where they just needed each other.

the number of killings in beacon hills was rising, rapidly, day by grueling day. and there wasn’t much stiles could do to help. he could ramble, on and on, about the mindless theories rattling around inside his head. he could tag along to random warehouses and parking lots, only to hide away once the real conflict began.

but, he was overall useless to the entire process.

it made his shoulders a little heavier some days, to know he had no control over anything anymore. scott could take away pain, lydia could help save somebody before they died, allison could shoot down three different wolves with the same arrow.

stiles could only talk.

today was one of those days where he just felt kind of shitty about it all.

dr. deaton was missing. and there wasn’t much of anything stiles could do to help. he felt like he always just got in the way.

y/n was in a similar boat.

her parents were out of town for the third week now. they’d promised to be home this past weekend, and had talked y/n up with a week full of dinners, family outings, a visit to her school, normal things that parents normally did with their normal children. of course, they’d cancelled on her last minute because of some conference across the world. she’d asked danny to come stay for the week, but he said he couldn’t. he was going out of town with ethan.

she felt abandoned.

usually, y/n would sulk, by herself, with take out, a round of depressing movies, and homework she didn’t really feel like doing. sometimes, she’d even beg her boss to let her come in for a shift.

but, it was saturday evening, so the staffing was already full for the rest of the night.

so, she texted stiles.

y/n: pls tell me ur bored

stiles: what time?

y/n: anytime :)

stiles: omw gorgeous

–

“alright, i’ve got it.”

stiles plopped down onto the couch beside y/n, bowl of popcorn in left hand, a can of dr. pepper in the right. he crossed his ankles and stretched his legs onto the coffee table. y/n sat criss-cross beside him and extended part of the blanket she wore onto his lap. stiles set the bowl down atop his covered thighs.

“oh, yeah, what’s that?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink.

y/n pointed to the television, and he followed her gaze. netflix was open on the bright screen, with a movie queued up. “the first scream.”

stiles nodded appreciatively, until she added, “aka, the best slasher film of all time.”

he squinted his face and shook his head rapidly, “i cannot believe you just said that!”

y/n giggled at his expression, “don’t even argue with me right now!”

“it’s hard not to argue with someone who is so blatantly wrong!” he replied.

y/n stole the popcorn from his lap, “thats not even a good counter. at least make a decent rebuttal!”

“okay,” he peered over at her with a matter-of-fact look, “halloween is the best slasher because;” he counted each point off on his fingers, it has a cooler villain, better kill sequences, and the hottest final girl.”

y/n rolled her eyes, and shoved his shoulder with her own, “you just like it cause of jamie lee curtis’ boob scene.”

stiles pursed his lips, “they are pretty great.”

“but they didn’t need to add nudity to that movie! that’s so sexist and gross to support that idea, you pig.”

stiles stole a handful of popcorn, shoveling it into his mouth. “what can i say, im a boob guy.”

if she didn’t know him so well, she’d think stiles, in this moment, was kinda gross. but, she recognized his humor better than most. she appreciated that it was sarcasm. and, he kinda looked cute with his cheeks full of popcorn.

y/n blushed at the comment, looking down slightly, “oh, i know.” boy, did she.

he tapped the edge of the bowl, garnering her attention again, “don’t do that.”

her brows furrowed, meeting his eyes, “do what?”

“don’t be dirty. i don’t think we’ll make it through the movie if you start acting up.” as his words drifted out, stiles’ tone of voice lowered. he leaned his head closer to hers and the corner of his lips turned up in a devilish smirk.

y/n grinned in response. she grabbed the back of his neck, smashing her lips into his, drawing a sharp breath off his tongue. stiles moaned into her, barely catching the popcorn before it could spill. his other hand clutched his dr. pepper, so he didn’t have much leverage against her advances.

stiles clambered around until he found the coffee table, shoving the popcorn bowl atop it. “wait, wait, wait-“ stiles gently grabbed her biceps, tugging her off of him delicately.

y/n’s face fell instantly. she cowered away, hugging herself with her arms. she thought that was what he wanted, but now it seemed he was mad. “i’m sorry. i’m so sorry- i didn’t-“

“no, no, no,” stiles set a wary hand between them. “you didn’t do anything wrong. you’re okay, it’s okay.”

“i’m sorry,” she slouched, frowning. she relaxed a little bit, but the moment still worried her. “i thought that’s what you wanted?”

stiles shook his head and grabbed her hand, holding it between his like a prayer. “no, no- i mean- yes. i want you, i always- want you. but, i don’t- i don’t want you to feel pressured to do that all the time. i want to watch a movie with you. i like just hanging out, too. i don’t just expect sex out of you. that’s not all this is-“

stiles pressed his lips together. he always said too much.

always said too much.

y/n let out a breath she had been holding at the top of her chest. her mind raced with a thousand words she didn’t how to say.

this changed everything. the rules were blurred. the lines were crossed.

and it now seemed that, maybe, just maybe, he wanted her like she wanted him.

all she could say was, “okay.”

she didn’t want to rush things. she didn’t want to force him to label it. she didn’t want to get in over her head, throw her hopes up, and get let down again.

stiles’ worried expression fell into a gentle smile, “okay, hey, i’ll even let you think scream is the best slasher film, just for the night.”

an easy giggle fell out of her. “deal.”

stiles fixed the blanket across their laps that had fallen off slightly, while y/n tucked her legs up onto the seat, cozy against the back of the couch.

he stretched an arm across the back of her seat, inching over to her slyly. y/n bit back a smile and leaned into his side. stiles choked back a cough, a strangled attempt to clear his throat. he set his arm around her, fingers lingering over her shoulder.

the movie started.

it took them a few minutes to loosen after that moment. but, eventually, they fell back into their same routine- stiles made lame jokes, y/n nearly fell over laughing at all of them. he compared scream to halloween, calling out which parts would probably be better with a michael myers killer instead of ghost face. she argued back that he was a sore loser.

eventually, the movie was drawing to a close. the credit scene was just about to roll across the television screen when y/n’s phone started ringing from the coffee table. she jumped slightly, a little spooked from the movie, though she’d seen it a million times.

stiles tossed his head back, laughing over her fright. she shot him a dirty look as she reached for her phone. he took his arm off of her, but patted her thigh in a mocking manner. “don’t worry, i’ll protect you.”

y/n shoved his arm playfully, but her attention was drawn away by the contact showing up on her screen. ethan was calling her.

“give me a second,” she mumbled, leaving the room with confusion written all over face.

stiles watched her go, sitting forward on the couch. her distant tone worried him a moment. he pulled out his own phone, hoping for something from scott. updates, suspects, something. hoping the plague wasn’t going to reach her, too.

his screen was black.

stiles wanted to tell her about everything. maybe he should. it would explain his erratic, anxious, flakey behavior.

but, telling her would bring her into it.

and he didn’t know how well he could protect her.

so, the secret was just his for now.

stiles opened scott’s contact, ready to give him a quick call, just in case, when y/n reentered the room. “hey, everything okay?” he barely glanced up at her, but had to do a double take when he noticed how she looked.

y/n was shaking, visibly, clutching her phone in her right hand, which was still held up near her ear as though she was about to answer the phone again. a few tears escaped her eyes, and her pupils were dilated with fear and sadness.

“y/n?” stiles stood up, slowly, tone rattled.

had his troubles finally plagued her, too? was the one sacred, peaceful thing he had finally tainted by the cruelty of his reality? a million worried, terrified thoughts sped through his mind.

y/n met his eye, “danny’s in the hospital. he-he almost died. hi-his l-lung collapsed.”

stiles moved quickly. he carefully took her by the waist, guided her into a pair of shoes, into his jeep. he stayed attentive to her the entire car ride. he played her taylor swift, nearly sat at a 180° angle while he drove, kept a firm hand on her thigh, and spoke to her in a soothing tone. y/n was nearly mute. she didn’t know what to say or what to do. she was just too stunned.

it was always shocking to discover that death could just come knocking on the door whenever it felt like it.

when they finally reached the hospital, stiles opened the car door for her. she grabbed onto his hand, following him into the building.

no one was allowed to visit with danny, at least not until the morning. unfortunately, his parents were out of town, like y/n’s, and couldn’t get back until monday. so y/n and ethan were all danny had until then.

“so, he’s gonna be okay?” stiles scratched the back of his neck nervously, knee bouncing.

y/n sat beside him in a waiting room chair, clutching his other hand till her knuckles were white. they stared up at melissa, awaiting her answer.

melissa returned their stare them with a kind smile, “he’s gonna be just fine. we’re gonna keep him overnight, just to monitor him. but, he’ll be alright.”

y/n took a deep breath. her head fell back against the wall, eyes squeezing shut in relief. melissa nodded once, reassuring them again, before turning to leave. she squeezed stiles’ shoulder as she went.

stiles turned his body to y/n, taking her hand in both of his. she finally met his eye. he was glad to see hers, the storm within them more weathered now, calmer like the water right after a wave. he smiled slightly.

“hey,” he whispered.

y/n finally smiled back. “hey. i’m…sorry if i freaked you out. i don’t do well with near-death experiences. i’m kind of a pussy.”

she laughed at herself, head dropping down in shane. stiles disagreed quickly, “no, no, hey,” he pushed the hair from y/n’s cheek, cupped her face, guided her eyes back to his, “you’re not a pussy. you’re a human being. you were scared and worried for your friend. i’m not judging for how you reacted. i just want to know you’re okay.”

she nodded, “i’m okay. just- tired, now. that was overwhelming. sitting here for an hour, waiting to hear if my best friend was dead or not.”

stiles brushed his thumb over her cheek, “i know, baby, i know.”

the word slipped so easily off his tongue, that he didn’t notice. y/n did, but she wouldn’t allow herself to get bent out shape over it. there was no time for that right now.

“i’m gonna stay here with him tonight.”

stiles moved his hand back to their entwined ones, “i’ll wait with you.”

y/n shook her head in disagreement, “i can’t ask that-“

“you didn’t ask,” he interrupted her, pointedly.

y/n went to say something else when scott disrupted their moment. he came out of danny’s room, nearly appearing out of thin air. stiles could tell he was on edge.

“stiles, hey, i was just about to call you,” he said, glancing between the both of them. “sorry about danny, y/n.”

“thanks,” she smiled slightly, though she was confused. “how did you get in to see-“

“stiles,” scott pretended to not hear her, turning his attention to his friend, “we need to talk.”

stiles patted y/n’s hand gently, “i’ll be right back, okay?”

he stood to leave her, but she didn’t let go of his hand. she held on until he was too far to reach. before he followed scott down the hall, however, he turned back, shrugging off his jacket.

“i know you’re gonna need this,” he murmured, tucking it around her shoulders.

y/n watched him walk away with scott, a dazed smile on her face.

things might be working out.

–

stiles had to leave. at least, scott needed stiles to leave. derek, isaac, boyd, and cora were planning a trap or something of the sort, and they needed to go help them. stiles needed to go help his friends.

but he didn’t want to.

for the first time in his life, he didn’t want to help. he wanted to stay here, in the hospital, with her. he wanted to hold her hand, sleep in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, until the second they could visit danny. until the sun shone on her beautiful face.

stiles didn’t want to stand on the sidelines while his friends blood splattered across the walls around him. he especially didn’t want to watch somebody die tonight.

but, he didn’t protest when scott ushered him out of the building.

he had to do what he always had to do. it was expected. necessary.

like a sacrifice.

–

y/n tucked danny’s sheets around his chin like a mother would, before standing back to look at her work, proudly.

“you’re clinically insane,” he glared at her. the eye bags drearing his face were more prominent in the lighting coming from the lamp on his bedside table. y/n frowned deeply at the sight of him, so tired, nearly lifeless before her.

“you’re my little baby,” she cooed, sitting down beside him on the bed. it took everything in her not to squeeze his cheeks.

“i am a man,” he denied her.

y/n waved him off, “whatever helps you sleep. listen-“ she stood up, collecting her phone and keys off his bedside table, “i will be right down the hall. do not even hesitate to ask me for anything. water, a hug, maybe some cuddles-“

“go to sleep. you look like a walking corpse.”

y/n felt like one. they’d just gotten home the hospital, and it was 8pm on sunday. the waiting room chair had been uncomfortable, and she had felt a little off with the absence of stiles’ warm hands and soft words. so, she didn’t sleep very well. plus, sitting beside danny’s bed all day while they ran tests just added to the tired stress she was feeling.

but, the solace of his smell on his hoodie, and his sporadic text messages, got her through it all. he checked in once an hour, every hour. his phrasing was short, though, and he didn’t reply very quickly. but, stiles was still there. he was there for her.

now, y/n felt like she was going to collapse. so, she softly shut danny’s door behind her and headed for the guest room. it was right next door. she was too scared to leave him alone, so she was going to stay until his parents got home tomorrow night. she was even skipping school to look after him. ethan was going to stop by in the morning, today, he, apparently, had been caught up with something.

she didn’t really trust him. but that was a problem for another day.

y/n slipped out of her fresh pajama bottoms to get ready for bed because it was usually pretty warm in danny’s house. though she kept stiles’ hoodie on.

that morning, at the hospital, nurse mccall had delivered y/n’s book bag, packed neatly with a few essentials, like pjs, her toothbrush, her phone charger, to danny’s room.

stiles had gone out of his way to ensure she had her things how he’d gotten into her house? she didn’t know, and she didn’t really want to question it. she was just grateful he thought of her at all.

y/n shut the light off and got comfy under the covers. just as she went to shut off her phone, a phone call came through.

stiles.

“hello?” she whispered, voice too tired to speak too loud. y/n lay her head upon the pillow, shoving the phone between her ear and it. she felt her eyes closing.

“hey.”

the sound of his voice brought her so much comfort. the exhaustion was takning over now.

“how are you doing?” was the first thing he asked.

y/n smiled, which was visible through her words as she spoke, “better now.”

“oh, yeah?” stiles teased gently. “i was just checking in. was worried about you.”

“i was worried about you,” she emphasized, “is everything okay? nurse mccall said you had to handle something.”

everything was no okay. stiles had watched derek kill boyd just hours ago. luckily, they’d saved dr. deaton, and found a few more clues that would surely lead them to the serial killer rampaging their town.

but his classmate- his friend- was dead. and he watched it all happen. he couldn’t do anything to stop it.

but, e couldn’t tell her that.

though, she noticed a shift in his voice, “yeah, just something stupid. scott was having girl problems.”

y/n didn’t believe him.

she was noticing more and more that he was always disappearing, running off to do stuff that he wouldn’t tell her about. his cover stories never made much sense, either.

the thought that he was keeping secrets from her made y/n feel wary, made her want to pull away.

but, then he’d say something like, “i’m more worried about you, baby.”

and she was easily pulled back in.

“don’t,” she murmured. her eyes fell all the way shut. she was drifting off to sleep, the sound of his voice a sweet lullaby to her ears.

stiles smiled to himself. he imagined holding her in his arms, brushing the hair from her face as he watched her fall into a beautiful slumber. it comforted him.

but, when he focused his mind again, he was back in the cold, dark animal shelter, which was barren of any good feelings like the ones he could only day dream of for now.

he thought about telling her, again. but after what happened today, he wasn’t feeling very confident about it. he really, really could not lose her.

he just couldn’t.

“you should get to sleep,” stiles spoke.

scott motioned for him. so, stiles added, “i have to get going.”

“i miss you.” y/n was half asleep, completely unconscious to any words falling off her tongue.

stiles’ smiled again. “i miss you, too. hey, i’ll come see you tomorrow, okay? maybe we can watch the next scream.”

she didn’t have the energy to respond.

“you there, y/n?”

no response.

stiles figured she was asleep. “well, since you’re not there, i guess i can say…i really like you.”

y/n heard.

and she’d never tell.

she liked him, too.

but, what secrets was he keeping from her?

#derek x stiles #stiles stilinksi fanfiction #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski #stiles x lydia #stiles x reader #teen wolf #teen wolf stiles #teen wolf x reader

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rweoutofthewoods · 2 months ago

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Hi ! I wanted to ask you what’s your opinion on peter’s betrayal? the only explanation we’re given is that he was a coward and while I do think that’s true, I can’t stop thinking that a coward with no ill intentions would just run away. So why? I mean he could have escaped both sides in his rat form and leave the country.

OH let me talk my shit on Peter!!

My thought process has always been that Peter was insecure and jealous. I honestly think it’s jkr not fleshing him out in the books because like… when u think about it Peter was a Gryffindor too? And who else was one who seemed cowardly at first and jkr made a point of highlighting his unique bravery? NEVILLE?? Like he had his own brand of bravery and she made it a theme to show him coming into himself and that not all forms of bravery mean you’re rash or bold, but what about Peter? If that’s what she was trying to show, Peter was a Gryffindor too… I don’t think he was simply a coward. He wasn’t just spineless bc that’s contradictory to the other points made in the book...

I think he spent years following the other marauders around, seeing James and Sirius especially who were popular and attractive and charming. Even Remus who may have seemed more like the odd one out was still obviously respected and cherished by James and Sirius. I mean they went through great lengths to help him during the full moons. But what do we know about their relationship with Peter? We never heard anything about the other marauders doing anything for him or valuing him to that extent. I think Peter was always more so along for the ride. And they all had their very close relationships and Peter often found himself excluded. Now I’m speaking strictly in canon terms, so I won’t cite Wolfstar but also say that relationship did exist that would be an added relationship in their friend group, and Wolfstar aside I do think Sirius and Remus still had a close and special connection and Peter?? He was always tagging along, trying to be involved but somehow still feeling excluded and like an outsider. There wasn’t anything particularly exciting or interesting about him, and I think I remember the books saying he wasn’t attractive? But idk if that’s simply bc he was in rat form for so long. Either way he was an insecure, odd one out of a teenage boy. And looking at real life, well it’s not unheard of for those kinds of people who don’t feel accepted or celebrated by society to become radicalized.

Also, keeping in mind how YOUNG they all were. Peter was barely an adult when he betrayed his friends. And I’m not sure how long he was involved with the DE before Lily and James died. He could have been recruited very young. And I have no idea HOW he came to be working with Voldemort, I don’t think JKR ever gave any details on how that came to be…

But I imagine a jealous, insecure, and probably scared young man could easily be turned. his envy could fester into hatred and bitterness towards his friends when times became more desperate and there was a war going on. Voldemort probably seemed like a chance for Peter to finally have his power and glory, to prove that he was better than his former friends who looked down on him. And look at Tom Riddle, he was a half blood who hated muggles because he was treated badly by them and abandoned, an outsider etc. there’s a kinship there, hatred spreads easily. And I don’t think we ever learn if Peter actually believed the Death Eater’s blood purity rhetoric. Was he a believer? Or did he just want power and vengeance and thought going to the opposite side of the friends that he thought mistreated him would give him that?

So in short: jkr left a lot of holes and uncertainty in Peter’s character, but I fully believe that it was his own insecurities and envy turned rotten that led him to that betrayal. Not just cowardice. Because he was a Gryffindor too!! And as terrible as it was, it takes some guts to sell your oldest friends out to Voldemort. Maybe he thought he had little choice and was saving himself by picking the winning side, but to kill and frame your own friends? That’s shows resentment and hatred.

(Also Remus initially got off easier, he wasn’t dead or in Azkaban so if he was the kindest to Peter out of all the marauders that tracks.)

#mere answering things ;)#marauders #peter pettigrew #mwpp #the marauders

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petefromarma · 20 days ago

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okay wrt that other ask asking abt bottom pete

i also find it interesting that despite a lot of people suddenly preferring bottom pete, there's still a lot of recent bottom patrick fics coming out.... but ig not everyone reads or writes fic so idk. actually thinking abt it, im not even sure why it's become so popular?? /gen

another iteration that comes to mind is petekey, like especially on tiktok 😭

and also i want to ask abt the tags bc what is your interpretation of patrick as a bottom then...

ok thats all thank u for letting me ramble and like i read your blog like the morning paper everyday 💜

aw anon you're so sweet thank you 🥺❤️ thank you for the ask and it means a lot that you like MY ramblings lol

so in terms of the preferred dynamics of the pairing changing, i think this shift probably happened sometime in the last five years; imo it was sort of a slow crawl and then the emergence of smfs sped things up because fob gained a lot of new fans and also attracted old fans who were still around but maybe not creating anything during the gap between mania and smfs, whether it was art or fic. primarily i think it has to do with the fandom's general perception of pete and patrick having changed since the 2013-2019 era

the fact that they've grown and changed as people over the last decade (and when speaking about fob in its entirety, the last two decades) has in part something to do with this; fandoms are inherently predisposed to tropes, imo, which can often lead to characters (this term i think is appropriate since we are talking about fiction written about real people and to a lesser degree the people as they actually exist themselves) being shoehorned into fitting the confines of a specific archetype based on surface level aspects of their personality or physical attributes. patrick and pete for a significant amount of the band's history were perceived as sort of a wallflower and bad boy combo; this wasn't entirely incorrect, and imo most fic authors wrote them with a degree of nuance rather than purely relying on archetype, but you could usually find some form of that interpretation of their characters in most fic or fandom discussion relating to their personalities and relationship with each other. because of this and the fact that it was common in the 2000s/2010s to work within a context of assigning arbitrary personality traits to sex positions, such as 'bottoms are shy/tops are outgoing' (and with bottom always referring to sub bottom and top always referring to dom top), this lead to total bottom patrick cultural victory etc (obviously i agree with the outcome here but i don't completely agree with the journey it took to get there lol)

in part patrick and pete both had a hand in this perception of themselves; patrick mostly during the 2010s and pete mostly during the 2000s. like i said i think these are both actual aspects of their personalities rather than what some people claim, especially in regards to patrick (that the sweater paws era was all an act), but the choice to exacerbate this image of themselves was definitely for PR purposes. imo they both still kind of do this but in different ways; the intent is the same but the form is different. i don't mean to be cynical and i do think they are happy and settled and that their expressions of self are mostly genuine but they are still celebrities and i think they're both relieved to be considered by a majority of fans, who are largely unwilling to talk about their (p2's) flaws, as 'soft' and non-threatening

ig the dark haired top/light haired bottom thing could have also played a part in the popularity of bottom patrick but i don't really think that's the case here because of. the inherent way that they are lol. i feel like some people would argue that the popularity of patrick as specifically a sub bottom during 2013-2019 can in part be attributed to his whiteness and the conflation of whiteness with femininity and bottoming as an inherently feminine and therefore submissive act, which i think probably has merit enough to be acknowledged in any discussion of an interracial ship especially irt to m/m and f/f, but i don't think it's particularly relevant to peterick because i do not buy that patrick has an especially domineering presence that is being subverted in order to incorrectly portray him as submissive, which is something that does happen in a number of ships where one character is white and the other character is black or brown. i think there ARE domineering parts of patrick's personality, and that he craves control, especially wrt his art and his creative process, but we also know that he often gives in to pete's suggestions and that pete's instincts are usually correct whereas patrick's are usually wrong. this doesn't scream hypercompetent in control dom top to me and it doesn't scream service top either

anyway. i think patrick's change in fashion and aesthetics played a not insignificant part in this shift in dynamics; pete's self expression has always been relatively androgynous, but that isn't inherently connected to his gender or his personality. i don't think he's ever done or said anything to imply that he's anything other than a cis man who sometimes likes to wear skirts. which, i mean, there's a not insignificant discussion to be had about his relationship with gender as a biracial black man but this answer is already too long and i don't want to get into that now lol. so patrick grows a beard, pete bleaches his hair and grows it out, oh they're masc and femme now, patrick is a bear (despite being straight?), masc = top and femme = bottom, etc. some people will argue that this has always been the case (patrick being masc and pete being femme) but i'm going to be honest, i think pete and patrick both leaned toward androgyny in self expression until around futct and even then i don't consider patrick's street wear as being super butch or whatever

people also like to discuss patrick's weight as a factor in the perception of him as either a top or a bottom but i've seen too many claims that there's an epidemic of fat men being portrayed as sub bottoms simply because they're fat and i have literally no idea where this came from and i really don't want to lend any legitimacy to that argument because i think it's ridiculous so i'm not going to get into it. but just know i think it's silly and cope

so i think partially the change in dynamics has come from the manner in which they present themselves within the public sphere; patrick reads now as more masculine and outgoing and pete reads as more shy and feminine

i do think that the interpretation of them as characters by people who prefer bottom pete and write fic is more nuanced than people who don't write fic and are just kind of going with the flow (same with people who were around in 2013-2019 when bottom patrick was more popular); i still don't agree with the majority of their analysis but considering they're creating actual art there's generally more critical thought involved than just following a fandom trend imo

fob is also not really a fic based fandom, honestly; fanart tends to get more interaction and fandoms that skew younger don't seem to write fic as much. this is kind of a sidebar but i am actually genuinely worried about the use of chatgpt and what it means for the writing and critical reasoning skills of young people in the west (i don't know if this is as big of a problem in nonwestern countries) and imo the manner in which it's wormed its way into all aspects of academic and creative life, whether professional or amateur, is frightening. but anyway i think a lot of the authors who write or prefer bottom patrick have been around a lot longer (just, like, in life, but also in the fandom lol) and since the younger fans aren't really interested in writing fic, it makes sense that there's still an even split on ao3 despite bottom pete seeming to be more popular with the greater fandom

anyway like i said in that other ask i do think there are situations in which pete would bottom; like, he is not topping andy hurley, lol, and probably not travie, but i just don't see him bottoming as realistic, long term, or as a constant, in his relationship with patrick. the time at which pete came into patrick's life means he was both an authority figure and peer to him; he guided patrick professionally and, at times, personally. pete viewed him as his responsibility, and he was protective of patrick in a way that he wasn't with joe (i've spoken about this before, and while i do think that maybe this has to do with pete maturing somewhat from twenty to twenty-two/twenty-three, there is a world of difference between what pete allowed his friends to do to joe and the way pete spoke of patrick with reverence and protected him, to the point that patrick's release the bats skit was him drinking garlic butter). and while i don't know if i would say the same currently lol i think pete was once a highly competent and successful businessman; he deeply understood the culture of the 2000s/early 2010s and for all the stress and heartache it brought him, i think there were aspects of fame and that feeling of being on top of the world that he very much enjoyed. i think he likes control, but in contrast to patrick, he's far more competent and adept at gaining and keeping himself in a position that affords him that control

has their relationship evolved to the point that they're on more equal footing? yeah i think so, but i also think that your dynamic when you meet someone is going to remain, in part, a constant, even as your relationship evolves and changes. so there's that, for me, that push-and-pull power dynamic where pete is almost always the one who comes out on top (lol), and while i understand the appeal in subverting this wrt peterick, in an abstract sense, i just don't see the evidence in their relationship that that would realistically happen or that pete would want it to happen

moving on to patrick, the reason i said his stroke game is mid is because obviously he does top he's straight but i don't think he's particularly good at it; he fumbles through a lot of life (that doesn't involve his art) and i think this translates to his sexual expression. more realistically, i could see him as a dom bottom because of how bossy he is; this i think would be something pete would enjoy because he does desire submission somewhat but it doesn't involve penetration, which i believe he considers a degrading act, at least to some degree. tbh i don't really think pete's dick game is bomb or whatever lol but i think he's better than patrick. and i know this is a matter of contention because of the specific way in which patrick's misogyny manifests and how defensive he was about not being gay, but i think he's too autistic to really give a shit about bottoming; maybe he could even be convinced to take the strap because he would just get to lie there and not do anything like the way elisa cooks all his food for him. i think this could actually also be argued with pete potentially but it would be more difficult to bring him around to it lol

i have more to say but i think i should cut myself off now 😭 i do want to say though re the thing about petekey; i was actually just telling a friend how petekey is similar to bottom pete because they're both so popular and yet the amount of fanworks doesn't seem to match their supposed popularity

#sorry this is. long

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itsthesinbin · 1 year ago

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Petplay kins hc/scenario with tfa Optimus that stem from Sentinel implying/assuming reader is Optimus's human pet and reader is *very* into that idea? I hope this makes sense 😭

BOY YOU HIT ONE OF MY KINKS!!!! I'm gonna do headcanons for now bc I can't figure out how to start an actual scenario for it LMAO. maybe in the future I'll do a one shot

Reblog if you enjoy my content! (comments/tags are also encouraged :3)

Optimus Prime (Transformers: Animated)

You two were used to looks and comments from the anti-bot crowd to begin with. Sentinel being a piece of shit about your relationship wasn't unexpected.

Of course, being called Optimus' weird pet really... struck a nerve with you both, in different ways. Optimus was pissed. You... were instantly thinking of Things.

"You know.... Sentinel is a bitch, but being your pet.... that's a fun idea." "Huh whuh"

Optimus didn't know what to think of the idea... Until you arrived at the base wearing a red and blue collar.

He instantly excused himself from whatever he was doing and led you off to talk. Everyone just assumed you two wanted to spend some time together.

I mean... they were right.

Optimus asked you what was with the collar, and all you did in response was pull out the matching leash. You clipped it on, and handed the other end to him with a grin.

It took him all of 2 minutes to pull you toward him by said leash.

His favorite position is you in his lap, riding him while he has a grip on your leash.

YOUR favorite position is doggy style for the roleplay.

You already had a 'nest' of sorts in his room- a mattress with a lot of blankets and pillows- so sometimes you'll go ahead and strip and wait for him to come in, just lounging on your bed while wearing the collar and leash.

He isn't too into the animalistic aspects of it- ie if you brought in fake ears and a tail plug and actually act like a dog/cat/etc. He more likes the idea of you just being a pretty little thing to dote on and look at.

He does end up getting some clothing for you to wear that he think you'd look nice in. Including underwear and lingerie. You don't ask how he got it, because he looked like he was about to explode handing it to you the first time.

Taken to calling you "human" when out and about, to indicate he's in a Mood. You'll call him "sir" in return. No one's caught on why you two do that. Except Ratchet. He makes a face every time the word "human" comes out of Optimus' mouth.

He prefers the pampering part of this whole petplay scenario to making you service him. Sure, he'll have you suck his spike or do a lot of the work on some days. Mostly, though, he has you lay there and take whatever he wants to give- it's good stress relief to fuck you stupid, after all.

As is getting his mouth between your legs until you're begging for him to get on with it.

He can't help himself. His pet's real cute when they're begging.

Eventually, you end up seeing Sentinel again. You can't help but thank him. He's very confused as to why you're thanking him.

"For some great ideas" is all you'll say, flicking the little heart-shaped tog tag attached to the collar you wear every day.

Sentinel didn't get it til later that night, as he was about to recharge.

He was horrified.

#maccadam #valveplug #transformers #transfomers animated #tfa #optimus prime #optimus prime x reader #headcanons #nsft

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tink27 · 2 years ago

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My Personal Steddie fic rec list

I read a lot of steddie fics, and thought someone might gain from me taking note of some of my favorite ones. I won't be including the obvious "Keep it Steady, Eddie" and "Are You Flagging" and such, because we have all read those, but any that aren't on the first page of the Steddie tag on AO3, I might put here.

His Majesty's Jester by GreenQueenofClubs The thing was, these popular types, the Royalty of High School Society? They just wanted to be entertained. They wanted something to break through the dull monotony of life at the top of the food chain, and if nothing happened to catch their interest, they made their own fun. Good thing Eddie was unparalleled at keeping little sheeps entertained. This one features Eddie and "King Steve" during the events of season one. Easy to read and so so fun.

wouldn't it be nice (if we could wake up) by kissesforcas Steve finds his pulse. He carries Eddie out of the Upside Down, he keeps his heart beating until they get to the hospital. And then the government intervenes, that shady part of the government? With Sullivan? And he and Eddie wind up locked up, together, in a cell. There's one bed, and glass walls, and it turns out that he and Eddie? Might need each other more than either of them thought they might. This one involves monster!Eddie, and looks at Eddie and Steve being taken by the government after the events of season 4

3. We Should Just Kiss (Like Real People Do) by OonionChiver ‘Please?’

Eddie stops him again, this time by holding his face. Steve feels Eddie’s thumb moving over his cheek, he feels the cool metal of his rings. He feels everything except what he needs.

‘I’ve never loved anything the way I love you, Steve Harrington,’ Eddie says, dark brown eyes moving between Steve’s own. ‘This isn’t the moment, sweetheart.’

It’s not a rejection, but it’s not a kiss. Steve quietly cries, insides cut up on the broken shards of his stupid little heart and Eddie holds him, he holds him all night until they fall asleep together.

OonionChiver is an amazing and unique author and I would highly recommend anything they've written (especially their other fic You're Divine ) but We Should Just Kiss is my personal favorite of theirs. Make sure to read the tags beforehand to make sure you're comfortable with all the themes in this one!

4. L is for linoleum (and nothing else) by localman

“You’re going to fucking hate me.”

“I could never-“

“No- see, see you say that, and you think you believe yourself, and hell I almost believe you too, but I know. I know that if I tell you then you’ll fucking turn tail and run, and tell the whole town about what a fucking freak Eddie Munson is, and you’ll be right.”

If, like me, you love trans head cannons I would strongly recommend this fic. It is wonderful and written by a trans author, so accurate representation is always a plus. (also there is a follow-up fic that features non-binary Steve Harrington called lady stardust and it is amazing also, I would also highly recommend it)

5. Skull Rock Era by chattrekisses

Steve Harrington never planned for Eddie Munson.

Steve was supposed to marry his high school sweetheart, have 2.5 children, and take over the family business. He was supposed to live a blissful life on a nondescript cul-de-sac, complete with a white picket fence and a closet full of tasteful polo shirts. He was supposed to make a graceful transition between being the golden boy and being the American Dream.

Mediocrity was what destiny had designed for Steve. Reality had other plans.

(Or, Steve and Eddie, against all odds, fall in love)

This fic is just classic, one of those ones that you read and have zero complaints about at the end. Its just good.

(Hope at least one person finds a new fic bc of this, feel free to add any favorites you have that you dont think are talked about enough)

#Steddie #steve x eddie #steddie fic #steddie fics #steddie recs #t4t steddie has my heart #trans!eddiemunson #trans!steve harrington #oonionchiver #babygirl steve harrington #gay eddie munson #gay steve harrington #bisexual steve harrington #the fruity four #stranger things au #stranger things s4 #stranger things

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stolitzsings · 2 months ago

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💖, 🖋 and 👨‍👩‍👧 for the ask game! (I probably got at least one of the emojis wrong but hopefully they still make sense 😂) - @blitzwhore

💖 What do you like most about your own writing?

Can't believe you're gonna make me think of something nice to say about myself 🤣 I've been told I have a very "lyrical" style of writing, and sometimes I'll write a sentence or paragraph that flows really well and just Hits. I love those moments when I feel like I've really nailed it at a word-for-word level.

👨‍👩‍👦 Do you tell people in real life that you write fic?

Most people in my life know I do writing of some sort, but I'm pretty vague with the details lol. I only talk about writing fic with irl friends who also write/read fic (and I don't tell most of them that I write smut, just bc I know it isn't their jam). I told my therapist I write "character studies," because what is smut if not horny character analysis? 🤣

🖋 Post a snippet from a current WIP

Putting this one under the cut!

Ok I was a little nervous about sharing this because it's from a longer AU I've been toying around with, and historically I'm very bad at sticking to longer projects. But regardless of what I do with it I had a lot of fun writing this scene of M&M tormenting Blitz lmao

Blitz could feel his face heating up. “He isn’t— It’s not like—” Fuck, he was losing this one fast. “Okay, so maybe we’re boning or whatever, but it’s just a casual thing, you know? It’s not like we’re dating or anything.” Moxxie raised an eyebrow. It was almost impressive how smug he looked. “Who said anything about dating?” “I think he just did, babe.” Okay, now they were getting on his nerves. He could feel his spines starting to bristle. “Look. It’s just a convenience thing, ‘kay? He gets to have his bad boy fantasy, and I get a reliable fuck who I know won’t steal my kidneys while I’m asleep.” It wasn’t like Stolas would ever really consider a relationship with someone like him. Disowned or not, he was still a royal. And that was fine! Blitz didn’t want anything complicated, anyway. Fucking was easy. It was comfortable. It was all either of them was looking for. “If you say so, sir.” Moxxie had somehow dialed the smugness up to eleven. Blitz rolled his eyes and walked towards the door. “I’m firing both of you. And I’m keeping your shares for today.” He was pretty sure Moxxie started to say something in response, but he was out the door before he heard it. He let himself stew as he made his way down to the parking lot. “Looking for excuses,” for fuck's sake. They were hired killers! What did they expect? He was going to get injured sometimes. And it only made sense to go see Stolas, who knew more about this shit than any of them did. Besides, a quick fuck sesh was good for you, or something. Boosted your sero-whatever levels. Got your blood pumping. It was basically healthcare, anyway. Talk about a bedside manner, he thought to himself, grinning. He made a mental note to use that one with Stolas later. He'd think it was funny.

“C’mere, B, let me take a look at that scratch for you.” Millie had opened up their first-aid kit and had just finished bandaging a shallow cut on her thigh. Blitz looked down at the wounded arm that she’d gestured to. It wasn’t serious— an annoyance, more than anything. He shrugged. “Eh, that’s okay. I’ll just have my guy take a look at it.” Millie eyed him skeptically, like she was trying to catch him in a lie. “You know, you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with this mysterious “guy” of yours lately.” Moxxie looked up from his paperwork with a conspiratorial smile. “You’ve been seeing him for everything, even minor injuries. Almost like you’re looking for excuses to pay him a visit.” Oh great, the famous M&M tag team. “What? No, I haven’t.” Even he knew he sounded defensive. “Sure looks that way to me.” Millie crossed her arms and perched on the edge of the desk so that she and Moxxie could give him the double stare-down. Cute. “Are you sure that medical attention’s all he’s been giving you?”

Thank you for the ask @blitzwhore! I'm still answering these prompts if y'all are curious 😊

#ask game #my writing #wips #stolitz

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altschmerzes · 1 year ago

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any more details on jamie settling in living with ted + adjusting to that everything you’ve posted is so good

YES ABSOLUTELY here is, in no particular order, an assortment of details about the process of jamie settling into living with ted and adjusting to that new reality:

(cw for non-detailed references to abuse and ptsd symptoms stemming from abuse trauma)

- when ted first takes jamie home from the hospital, roy goes with them. he sleeps on the couch in ted's flat for over a week before he's finally willing to spend the night in his own house (away from jamie) and that is far from the last time he stays at ted's just because neither of them can stand to be away from the kid overnight. eventually, bc it is murder on his back, roy starts sleeping in ted's room with him when he stays over on those nights, bc their dynamic is evolving too as all this is happening and they get a lot closer as they're like, really in the thick of basically co-parenting this kid together. (i am EARNING my platonic co-parenting tag on this fic okay sdlsk) this part isn't so much about jamie but it's a detail about those early days that i think about a lot.

- in the early days jamie really tries to like- he wants it to be Clear that look i'm not asking for anything i'm not entitled to, this is a Business Arrangement or whatever, you're too good a guy to let me go back to my dad after what happened or keep bouncing around my friends' couches like i've been doing while in london, but i know what this is and what it isn't. and ted's just like. respectfully. i do not think you do.

- (bc obviously ted is like. i did not take in an abused sixteen year old to be my roommate. when he talked to michelle on the phone about what he wanted to do, how he wanted to take action not only to get jamie away from james but to bring him home as well, and he wanted to make sure it wasn't going to be a bad decision for henry's sake, michelle told him to go get his kid. that's what this is. as far as ted's concerned, this was his official step into the role of being this boy's father, and he's going to live up to that.)

- even though ted's never raised a hand to him, it's hard for jamie to believe, really internalize and believe that he's safe there. sometimes, something will trigger him and he'll be pretty sure for at least a brief period of time that ted's going to snap and things are going to get bad. one time when this happens and jamie has a particularly bad panic attack as a result, once he gets calmed down and settled a bit, ted decides to try something new to see if it'll help. he first explains that jamie is never, ever going to be hit here, because this is not a hitting family, and ted is not going to scream and holler at him either. he'll make mistakes, and might raise his voice every so often, but he'll do his best not to and he'll always apologize if it happens, because that's not okay here.

and then after that, after making that extremely clear, ted goes on with his new plan for something that might help:

"Until you can believe me, or any time you’re just not sure, that’s the real nice thing about this community we got here, is you’ve got plenty of real good people around you that you can go to. So if I ever do anything that hurts you or scares you, you can call one of them, and they’ll help you and keep you safe. I’m not ever gonna give you a reason to need to make that call, but it’s important you know that it’s a call you can make. So we’re gonna make a list, okay?"

"A list?"

"A list of people you can call, if I ever hurt you or make you think I’m gonna hurt you. So that you can look at it and know you have choices."

so they make a list. (roy is the first name that goes on it. but they add a lot of others too - beard. higgins. julie. sarah kent. rebecca. mae the pub owner, which gets a laugh out of ted.) (it's a big list, and it's a little overwhelming for jamie to look at. he spent a long time suffering and scared on his own, and now he's only got the memory of that, the way living like that has made him afraid even when he's safe, and he has this whole list of people who'd drop anything to get him out of a bad situation if he just made a phone call.) (ted DOESN'T ever give him reason to use it, but while he's working on believing that ted isn't going to hurt him, even now that jamie lives with him even now that ted is becoming, has become his dad it makes him feel just that much safer to know that even if it did happen, he wouldn't be alone again)

- the first time that jamie's friends come over to hang out is a really, really big deal. not just to jamie (who did not bring friends over to his dad's place) and to ted (who knows it's a big step for him to do this, to take up space like that) but to the kidgang too (they've never seen him like this, without the looming threat of what he went home to hanging over him).

#gav gab #gav answers #fic: wriggle up on dry land #i could say one million things about these early days #the process of learning how to be in this new normal together #it is Everything 2 me #writing liveblog #abuse ref

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ja3yun · 5 months ago

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Maybe I’m naive or maybe it’s the brain rot… but am I being completely delusional in thinking that tumblr is almost 99.999% a fan site that artists (especially kpop idols) do not engage with and probably don’t even have much regard for? Like this is a space for the chronically online. Most people don’t use any of their own personal information/faces/identifiers bc this is not a real place; it’s a black hole. That’s not to say that your work here is insignificant (it’s helped me a lot to escape from everyday anxiety and stress so thank you 🙏) but it's not like you or any other adult writer are writing these stories and then spamming them on Weverse or any other platform where the members are active.

I guess my point is that we the adults that engage in 18+ enhablr are minding our business and keeping the fantasies in fantasy land and then going to work in the real world. Like we do not know Enha for real. Some people apparently don't have jobs or lives, so they send hate to people online and act like they are personally offended on behalf of adult men they don't know and never will. It's giving desperate fan that thinks going to the airport to get an interaction is more sane than staying at home, kicking your feet, and giggling at imagining meeting and knowing the boys in real life (95% of the time as non-idols anyways which is another degree of separation).

I'm sorry for ranting. I'm just a huge believer that fanfic is a very safe and respectful way of engaging in fandom because we leave the real people out of it. We're not screaming inappropriate things and sexually harassing the boys to their faces, which happens way too often. We're engaging in community fan-to-fan which to me strengthens the fandom. There are things we talk about as Engenes that will never make it back to boys and thats okay. What makes fandom fun is not always the direct connection to the artist, it's the community we build because of them.

I hope you and the other amazing writers on this site know how important you are ❤️ thanks for taking your time to write and engage 💐

anon this is so!! you get it exactly. i think a lot of us post here because why tf would enha know this place exists? and its a safe place really bc if you want smut, you come here or go to ao3.

i think hate to writers is so petty bc it is the one form of media you can easily avoid? like to see smut you need to seek it out yknow? i never write in the general tags or post inappropriately, so for people to find my blog must mean they are looking for smthn 💀

hate comes w any platform, esp to creators of any kind so i kinda knew what i was signing up for. some of it kinda makes me go??? like im not making the boys out to be horrible or bullies like i try and write them as nice as i can so some of the hate saying i 'tarnish' their name is so false lmao

thank you anon, i'm sure every writer here appreciates the kind words and also, just the fact that you understand is enough for us

ilysm <33

#aj answers

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whoregaylorenzo · 1 year ago

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do we have any idea what happened between mavio? oh fellow mavio lover please tell me you have an idea 🥺

oh bestie....*pats seat next to me* we're really in it now aren't we..😭😭

okay there's definitely better ppl to ask this since I've only been here for a few months but I'll tell you what I think I know

disclaimer: a lot of the gaps of my knowledge (so a lot) are filled in with dramatic exaggerations and my own headcanons so don't take it too seriously

1. maverick comes into motogp with one championship under his belt (moto3) and a third place in moto2, from what I've gathered he'd been seen as one of the real next talents, I'm not 100% sure of the timeline but I know I've heard vale mention him as well as marc as someone who could be quick/has a lot of talent

2. he starts off at suzuki (with aleix), gets some good results even a win and a couple podiums and after two years moves to yamaha in 2017 after coming 4th in the championship im 2016

3. he fucking wins his first two races with yamaha, talk about an entry to a team. oh and his teammate was valentino rossi. enough said.

4. mav having a grand time at yamaha, finishing 3rd and 4th and 3rd again (2017,18,19) in the championship. then shit starts going downwards.

5. in 2019, fabio arrives on the motogp stage with the petronas yamaha. he has an amazing first season, getting like 7 podiums and finishing 5th overall.

6. 2020 (ooh getting spicy) so there's a lot of very friendly interactions between mav and fabio from this time, it really seems like they were good buddies, n then preparing to be teammates in 2021, being excited about it!! looking at results tho - even though fabio only finished 8th that year, he won three races, meanwhile mav got one win plus two second places - both behind fabio...

7. so going into 2021 the situation is basically - fabio, boy wonder replacing motogp legend and maverick - not quite being able to fulfill the potential ppl said he had, getting this new teammate, a fast young guy - [threatening music starts playing]

7. and then the season starts off not too bad for mav with a win but after that - forget it. mav getting worse, fab winning and winning and winning. mav starts thinking yamaha have clearly moved on from him and are backing fabio, casting him aside a bit (in his perception, I can't really speak on what really happened I simply wasn't present in the fandom and I've not dove that deep yet), and then ofc it culminates in the whole debacle with mav just having enough of the frustration and doing sth rash, leading to the yamaha fallout and him leaving the team - well being fired really - and going to aprilia

8. as far as I know, it wasn't this alone that broke mavio? I think fabio said sth to the effect of he doesn't really care about mav leaving the team, and then there's a mav quote I think of him saying he's surprised to hear that from fabio

9. and then ofc there's fabio on that podcast this year answering the question "who's the rider you have the worst relationship with" with maverick.

IN CONCLUSION I think a culmination of fabio riding high on success, mav spiraling and lashing out, all that lead to the sorta icy relationship they have now....*sob*

anyway at the bottom of this I gotta add these tags from vic @distinguishedfifty to lighten the mood bc I simply love them uwkfjfkd

if any motogp mutuals have more to add here or maybe wanna correct me on things pls feel free!!

#I miss them even though I never had them really.......#mavio #sara tag #franziska.answers

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chevvy-yates · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday Whenever

Got tagged by @elvenbeard, @gloryride, @cinnamon-mey and @morganlefaye79 ! thanks! <3 Idk if it was last week or two weeks ago bc I lost track of time.

I tag: @dreamskug, @humberg, @imaginarycyberpunk2023, @alphanight-vp, @wraithsoutlaws, @heywoodvirgin, @pinkyjulien, @kharonion and @rosapexa – also everyone who likes to do it as alway and no pressure!

—

Since I've been sick for nearly a week and before that more busy with blorbo bday shots during the last weeks I came not to anything new since then other than just thinking about blorbos.

but I can share this pic now, that was only a test to see how it is to have three spawned bubis in a game now:

Thyjs is so darn pale!

I had Vijay and Thyjs talk about Ryder in another answered ask the other day I would like to share here again first as not many have seen this and it means a lot to me so:

Vijay: "Ryder's a complicated dude, but a real lovely one. You can't hate him, even if you wished for it. Yes, he's got problems with his tonality an' is easy to erupt. If you only get to know him superficially you may not like him. It's not easy to become his choom, but if you are allowed to be — bro, he's the best choom you can have. Never met one as loyal as Ryder — at least not before meeting Thyjs — Ry's like that lil' pup phenomenon; the stray black lil' doggo you found wandering aimlessly in the streets and picked up to bring home with you. Result is a super loyal strong watchdog who will be alerted immediately once someone approaches. I can say of my own experience that he's extremely protective if you happen to be in his rather small friend circle. He will do anything to protect you from the bad. He's a good boy and therefore my best friend forever."

Thyjs: “I didn’t know what to think of him in the first place. He talked to me with such an arrogant tone, on top in German. Ik was totaal geïrriteerd. Unsure if I would like him. He's got quite some personality. But knowing him better now, I see who he truly is and when it is the ‘other Ryder’ coming through. There is something about him I did like from the very first moment: his honesty and straightforwardness and his strong will to withstand the pain he endures every day. I can only imagine how he must feel. So I decided to give him a chance. En ik ben eerlijk — he's one of the kindest people I’ve met. Ry willed to show me the city — he hardly knew me. Hedecided to trustme even though I served those who he despises most. He offered me to stay at his place, as I had none, until I made some eddies for an apartment. I enjoyed spending time with him more and more. He made me put down my strict soldier shell I usually keep up, allowing me to appreciate the more casual life now as I cannot pick up my soldier career anymore. Thanks to him I’m a little more of an outgoing person now too I guess. Ryder saved my life! I owe him my protection and he magically made me fall in love with him. It was the least I expected to happen. He helps me explore my own feelings as I struggle with emotional numbing even though he has a hard time to express himself either. In private he's the loveliest and most caring man I've ever met. You can only fall in love with him."

I'm currently spending some time when I find the energy for it to write on a monologue Ryder is doing (he pretends he speaks to Tommy though) how he feels about Beast and Vijay saving him. It's lots of feelings I struggle to put into written form atm. In my head it sounded so good and it made me cry but writing it down myslef is a bit disappointing. Dunno how long it will take me until I think it is good enough but if I ever finish it I'll post it for sure.

#thoughts #wip #wip wednesday #wip whenever #about. ryder von scharfenberg #about: vijay steyr #about: thyjs de wit

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damthosefandoms · 9 days ago

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also!! I wanna hear about them!!! Yap about Soda please! Much love Godspeed dudes

Sodapop Patrick Curtis ilysm and it is so insanely fitting that I’m doing this instead of moving my laundry around (I will NOT fold the laundry, not all of it). I could and would go on about him for years and eventually I will bc I think every outsiders post I’ve made so far has been about him bc he’s the easiest to make up headcanons for bc like maybe it’s pony’s unreliable narration making him out to be perfect (until the very end at least when pony & darry finally realize soda is, surprise surprise, as mentally unhealthy and fucked up as the rest of them). I wanna save a lot of that for posts I could make one day bc I’m a selfish bitch but you can always scroll through the soda tag or read one of the two whole fics I wrote about him growing up and going through school with what I love to call the percy jackson special (adhd/dyslexia) bc it’s so obviously canon, right? he’s the poster child for it. and then there’s the whole thing about how tragic he is. I’m not even talking about the dead parents or the debilitating middle child syndrome, not how his brothers play tug of war with him—I mean how he’s the definition of horse girl (his big hyperfixation!!!) and his dad (and later Darry) wouldn’t let him go to the rodeo anymore at all after he “tore a ligament” getting thrown off a horse. That was his Thing, like how Darry has football and Pony has track and writing and drawing, and he can’t even do that anymore because he tore his ACL or something (a VERY serious injury mind you, that their family really didn’t have money to get surgery for him to fix, so there’s a real chance his knee’s just permanently fucked up but I won’t get into it rn) so all he can do now is make sure Pony doesn’t have nightmares and help Steve fix cars and get hit on by girls. I think Soda’s softer than we think he is, I think he talks himself up to sound cooler because he’s insecure as hell, I think his guilty pleasure is listening to the Beatles and to The Beach Boys (his ass wants to go to california and go surfing one day SOOOOO bad, somebody get him a rich girlfriend to take him there Cherry I’m looking at you) he has a lot of anxiety, and I think he needs a hug and I would die for him

#I really need to go do my laundry now #asks #anonymous #sodapop curtis

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deancasforcutie · 1 year ago

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hi, I’ve just seen your posts about references to queer cinema in spn and I would absolutely DIE to hear you talk more about that- and also maybe explain some of the ones in the posts bc there’s a few I couldn’t catch. hope ur doing well! toodles

(In reference to these two posts)

First of all, thanks for the interest; I feel like I owe a lot of influence to prominent meta writers who've discussed this over the years, which I've reblogged in the #dean is bi and #spn is queer tags, so I feel honored to be asked about this.

It just so happens I'm about to do a full series rewatch and hopefully come out with a long (much more coherent) meta series later this year. The basic thesis: Supernatural's queer narrative emerged both organically as a result of the early seasons' genre influences and deliberately on the part of writers constantly commenting on/transforming the series' foundations. The early seasons started as a critique of toxic masculinity, the nuclear family, and the American Dream, which invariably involves a critique of heteronormativity, but due to their tragic structure never fully proposed solutions to these problems; later seasons, through the writers' good-faith groundwork designed to circumvent and comment on their own external constraints, specifically situated the solutions in queer love and found family.

I'll argue that much of the queer coding and subtext of Kripke era was not so much "accidental" as a result of the series' genre heritage. Being influenced by the Gothic, a genre all about unveiling counternarratives to master-narratives like the American Dream, queerness emerges in the text implicitly as something outside of that paradigm; look at episodes like 4.05 Monster Movie and 4.14 Sex and Violence for some examples of old-school cinematic queer coding. Then you have Dean as a bisexual character, which essentially started with his inspiration from On the Road's Dean Moriarty (likely also James Dean and other figures that reveal the disillusioned American "bad boy" archetype was always more queer than initially advertised). Later seasons, in actively, deliberately queering this text, both transformed it and revealed/made explicit what was already there. And -as exercises in audiovisual audacity like 15.07 Last Call and 15.10 The Heroes' Journey attest- they consciously leaned into well-codified queer cinematic conventions to reveal (and subvert!) how they were made to literally tapdance around it. What results is a critique of heteronormativity that requires the audience to jump through hoops to maintain it as a critical lens, scathingly lampoons their choice to do so, and situates queerness as "what about all this is real" - "[happiness is] in just being", and in queer ways of seeing/reading.

I really enjoy it, in case that's not clear.

Not sure which examples in my posts to highlight, so here are some links to further reading:

Pink Flamingos: x, x, x

Porky's II: x, x

Thelma and Louise: x, x

Rebel Without a Cause: x, x

My Own Private Idaho: x

Ben-Hur: x

Rent: x, x

Reservoir Dogs: x

Brokeback Mountain: x, x, x

Lost Boys: x

Project Runway: x, x

Sesame Street: x, x

On the Road: x, x

Will & Grace: x

Halt & Catch Fire: x

Freddie Mercury: x, x, x

Orange is the New Black: x

The Sandman: x

Hellblazer: x

"Let's Misbehave": x, x, x, x

Thanks again for the ask! I hope this answers your question; I look forward to exploring this in much more depth in the future.

#no joke this series gave me a crash course in queer media second only to Celluloid Closet. and guess which fandom taught me about that #supernatural #spn #spn meta #dean is bi #spn is queer #mine

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incorrectskyrimquotes · 2 years ago

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you are officially the strongest person alive for not just closing the askbox after some of the trash you've gotten from idiots on this site. gdspeed and good luck holy hell

I've received a lot of asks like this one so I wanna respond and clarify

I actually love getting asks and even anon asks. I prefer having anon on bc yk big boy blog and all that but also so that people can send me their silliest things.

I really do truly genuinely enjoy having this blog and especially interacting w it. I've made a lot of friends recently and it's just fun to be able to talk ab the cringe failgame from a decade ago. Both for myself and in front of such a large audience.

Ever since I became aware I'm literally in the top 10 on skyrim blogs (at #9 but still) some of my anons started making a lot more sense. The power of anonymity makes people braver, which is good for things like funny headcanons and such.

I don't really like having to turn anon off and god I hope I don't have to shut asks off entirely. Fortunately once I turned anon off my inbox became a lot more peaceful. Funny that.

If I were to compare the two I'm sure I've gotten much more love than hate, but hate is much louder than love. And I know me giving it attention doesn't help much of anything but on the other hand people can and do throw around serious words about an unserious video game on unserious posts from an unserious person.

Even if I ignored all of it, just having to see it can feel so draining. And it isn't just in my inbox. It's also in the tags. I've repeatedly tried to express how deeply uncomfortable I am, AS A JEWISH PERSON OF COLOR, with people throwing words like racist and genocide around all willy nilly over video game characters.

It trivializes those real world issues, that have affected me, my ancestors, and people like me, down to fucking. Skyrim discourse. It's extremely frustrating. And from what I can see I don't think anyone is doing it maliciously or to get a rise out of me. But I think the sheer weight of those words has gotten lost.

And not to pull another race card, but this is especially upsetting from white people. I'm not thrilled about the fact white people keep talking over me and other people of color in the fandom about what is and isn't racist.

But I do also see the love. I see the cats in my inbox and the lovely asks and people writing paragraphs to defend me (when tbh I haven't done anything wrong anyways but. Eh.) and it's genuinely very touching and sweet and even if I don't reply to it (there's a lot to reply to!) I do see it and I appreciate it.

And for the poll, I fully plan on seeing it through. Round 2 closes tomorrow after which I'll set up round 3/the semi finals and then we go to the championship!

I started this poll, also this blog, for fun. I want people to have fun. I want to have fun. And most of the time I do have fun! But with the uptick in activity that brings *gestures vaguely* what it does.

Tumblr is one of those very few websites with true anonymity. This and reddit are the only ones I can think of where it's not expected to have your name, face, or other info about you anywhere. Which is a rare blessing on today's internet but it makes people very audacious about what they can and can't say to me.

I think because of that anonymity it's easy to forget I'm a human person. I very much doubt some of things I've had said to me in the last 48 hours would still be said if it was face to face. I truly don't think someone would look me in the eye and tell me to kill myself over skyrim bullshit.

And the funny part of that is if they did, I'd probably laugh in real life. For the sheer ridiculousness of the statement. "Hey. You. End your life because of video game drama" spoken to me at the local Target would be funny to me. But with the anonymity it feels just as hurtful as I'm sure it's supposed to be.

Thanks for letting me ramble and such. I'm not really even sure what I'm trying to say with all this. Other than I'm human, you're human, we're all humans, and we'd do well to remember that. Please just be nice to each other..

And be nice to me.

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akai-anna · 10 months ago

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HEY THERE MY LOVELY MUTUAL <3 <3 (I love when you reblog and queue my posts ur actually amazing ily so much I love reading your tags hugs hugs hugs <3 <3 <3 im in love, giggling kicking my feet everyday)

SAW THE CHARACTERS OPINION BINGO U REBLOGGED 👍 I GOTCHU

TAKAGI. BABY BOI OF DCMK (I remember seeing a poll rolling around somewhere about the most dcmk baby girl and Takagi won)

I will also have to have to ask you about Kaito HAHAH (my fav blorbo i will admit)

ok the thing is im from australia. choose an australian animal of your choice bc i am Intrigued. im not too sure how the bingo would translate though hahahah I don't think it would work very well

(feel free to also ask me anything or talk to me and about this bingo too >v0 b)

wait you know what i forgot LOL WE GOTTA HAVE THE PROTAGONIST DUO SHIN/CONE AS WELL. PLS

*LIGHTS UP LIKE A CHRISTMAS TREE* MY DEAR MUTUAL, HI CYN, HELLO!!!!

Firstly: WE'VE NEVER TALKED BEFORE BUT LET ME TELL YOU, I WAS (still am) SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT WHEN I SAW YOU SEND IN AN ASK! Yes, I keep track and i'm always happy to see you in my activity and my dash! (I'm also really happy to see we mutually share that feeling; I relate to the giggling kicking feet sentiment a lot.) I'm happy to have this chance to interact with you, in a sense, face to face! Bless you, darling, and I'm sending hugs right back at you.

Secondly: YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TASTE AND YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL ADORATION ESPECIALLY FOR ONE TAKAGI WATARU, he always needs more love, I FREAKING ADORE THAT MAN.

Thirdly: warning notes apply, as stated in previous asks:

I tend to interpret things liberally: only my own rules apply, which means ->

I check everything that makes sense to me, even if they might seem contradictory

The Character Opinion Bingo in question

Prepare for endless ranting. And as a certain someone says: さあショーの始まりだわ!

I. Takagi Wataru

The Babygirl and Malewife of My Heart Personal Special Tag: #takagi is a good man

Points that I feel need a little elaboration:

I am so normal about them: I use the word "normal" as a synonym for "utterly obsessed with" and "absolutely love and adore". (I don't like the word in itself, hence, the only context I use it in, is this. But that is another story.)

*puts them in a salad spinner*: as in, the salad spinner is my brain, and he keeps rotating in it at high centrifugal force.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it and That's a solid design right there: Detco Canon is... As much as I love it, I think we can agree it has its shortcomings/issues, and one of them is coming up. These two points go hand in hand at this moment because LOOK AT HIM!!! LOOK AT HIM!!! THIS MAN IS A BABY!!! LOOK AT HIM, HE'S PERFECT!!! THE SPIKY HAIR!!! THE SHAPES!!! THE COLOUR PALETTE!!! HE'S SO CUTE!!

I resonate with this particular video: his new design in the anime (partly thanks to the general Square-and-Pointy-fication) is just... THEY HAD THE PERFECT MAN. IT'S A CRIME. Bless that he is at least still cute in the manga, even if not the same way as in the early anime. The sharp cheekbones and soft looking hair have their charm.

My point is: THIS!!!! MAN!!! IS!!! A BABY!!!!

Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: he makes me go FERAL with LOVE, and makes me feel like I want to gnaw on something or eat a whole fridge or scream endlessly into a pillow. I wouldn't do it to HIM (I'll leave that to Satou Miwako), but generally, the feeling is there. (Okay, I'll be honest, I would totally give him forehead, cheek, or hair kisses.)

To close his section, have one of my favourite bits about this Baby Of A Man. That poll was absolutely right about him, THE ULTIMATE BABYGIRL (and Malewife TM).

⊱✿⊰

II. Kuroba Kaito/Kaitou KID

The Local Mischief and Chaos Bringer Personal Special Tag: #the magical agent of chaos

LOL I DIDN'T EXPECT TO GET A BINGO, EVEN WITH THE FREE SPACE HAHA

Some points are the same as for Takagi, but here is elaboration on the ones that don't match:

Bastard, A Beast Unleashed and They didn't get bullied enough: let's be real. He's an Absolute Menace. And I sort of love that about him. Highly competent (competency makes me go weak), and if that is not scary (and hot) I don't know what. And sometimes he also goes too far (lifting skirts is not okay at all, Kaito) and needs someone to put a leash on him (or kick a soccer ball at him/chase him in a classroom). I feel that sometimes he needs a bit of bullying a challenge, to think about things. And again, honesty: I love seeing him suffer a bit, I love his Panic Moments LOL. Not in a mean way. But I also love how kind he is; the baseball chapter in the MK manga has my heart, and the Clock Tower Heist, and the Red Tear chapter... Not to mention the Nightmare arc. He cares about people and making others happy. I feel I went on a tangent here. Onto the bastard bit: he CAN BE SUCH A BASTARD AND I LOVE THAT ABOUT HIM TOO. Two of my favourite bits of Bastardry from him include 1) HOW HE DISGUISED AS RAN AND HOW HE BAITED SHINICHI AT THE VERY END OF THAT ENCOUNTER and 2) THE WAY HE SENDS SHINICHI CAREENING IN THE SIDECAR LIKE IT'S NOTHING (but also Shinichi getting right back at him and setting fire to the fckin fuel.) Pure Bastard Energy.

I want their gender: I love the way he is just so free-spirited about how he dresses/disguises. And I love the thought of him and Aoko doing outfit swaps (I blame that competition in MK for these. Also look at these delightful posts on the topic).

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: I have... issues, with canon, you could say. Like the way he has no support system, especially bothers me. I would like to see his character treated with more care (be it MK or DetCo). I live for good character development, and I crave that for him.

To close this section, have one of my favourite conversations between these two menaces of nature.

⊱✿⊰

III. Australian Animal of Choice: Koala

Fun fact: I've been in love with koalas ever since I got a keyholder plushie from relatives in Australia when I was like... in kindergarten? Or early elementary? Also don't worry, *puts on sunglasses* I wouldn't have mentioned animals, if I thought I couldn't work with them.

Elaboration is needed here I feel.

I am so normal about them: I'm not as obsessed as I used to be but I'm eternally fond of koalas. Did you know their fingerprints are so similar to us they could be mistaken for human fingerprints? Or how they spend most of their time sleeping because the eucalyptus they consume is toxic? Or how they can actually swim well? Or how they are literally surviving by being Dumb As Shit because Being Dumb Saves Energy? Yeah, I'm totally normal about them.

*projects onto them like a mf* and I want their gender: Oh to be a koala, just existing, sleeping, sometimes waking up to eat some eucalyptus, then going right back to sleep. I want that.

That's a solid design right there: HAVE YOU SEEN THEM? SO FLUFFY LOOKING!!! WITH BIG CLAWS!!! THE BIG NOSE!!! SO SHAPED!!! NOT TO MENTION THE EARS!!!

They are so silly and They Sure Do Exist: how did this animal even come into existence? Weird lil creatures. THEY ARE JUST SO SILLY. THE NOISES THE MAKE. Like oh my god.

Literally I would kiss them: THEY JUST LOOK SO SOFT, HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME NOT TO BURY MY FACE IN THE FUR?

⊱✿⊰

IV. Kudou Shinichi/Edogawa Conan

*Prof Agasa voice* He has many nicknames, like Gremlin Child, Absolute Menace, Ultimate Baby, Lil Nerd, Walking Encyclopedia Son, or Disaster Child. I think I call him as many names as I do my dear Rosie, so that is quite telling LMAO Personal Special Tag: #the detective gremlin

HDSBSKDB DOUBLE BINGO (AND ALMOST 4 BC HE'S ALSO DET'S FAV, SO ALMOST CROSSED OUT PROXY TOO KSJNVKSVNJS OK, my love for him is showing, I guess)

EDIT: FCKIN TRIPLE BINGO AS @vampirecatsw POINTED OUT oh my god, I'm blind

Again, some thoughts on relevant bits.

*projects onto them like a mf*: THIS CHILD IS SO FCKIN NEURODIVERGENT, AND I FCKIN RELATE, ALSO HE LOVES AND CARES SO DEEPLY IT HURTS AND I RELATE SO HARD.

A Beast Unleashed: another MENACE OF NATURE. You cannot let him roam free, he finds trouble like it's Breathing. Also love it when he goes ballistic. Or when he shows how competent he is. Like GOD. HE'S AMAZING, and he's a danger to criminals and himself, mostly.

Everyone else if wrong about them: not EVERYONE, just... some people. We agreed with a friend that some of our issues in portrayal lies with the fandom sort assigning him traits that Hakuba has, but not Shinichi (Hakubification). Of course, people can have their fun with it, but it's not for me and have my own opinions on the matter.

Canon isn't real if I don't look at it: again, DetCo has issues. Like the lack of continuity/ erased character development, or not bringing up issues ever again, and the like. Early DetCo was GOOD at these, and I miss those times.

That's a solid design right there and I fuck with this aesthetic so hard: HE IS!!!! SO SHAPED!!!!! SO ROUND!!! (or at least used to be) THE GENTLE CURVES OF HIS FACE!!! THE SILLY HAIR!!!! NOT TO MENTION HIS FCKIN WARDROBE!!!! I'M OBSESSED WITH HIM!!! Also, I have a huge thing for blue eyes and dark hair combination, not to mention the glasses... I'm fckin weak for glasses... god. He just hits all the right spots in my heart and brain. (Not to mention his personality, I WANT TO CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH-)

They didn't get bullied enough: I live for others teasing Gremlin Child. It's not quite bullying (never HURT HIM FOR REAL, I'LL CRY), but he needs to be TEASED MORE FOR SURE. I guess Bastardry also fits into this, that's good too.

SQUEAK: sometimes he is just so DUMB I want to SQUISH HIM HARD OR SHAKE HIM. I LOVE HIM, I SO DO, even if he is an idiot at times. God. I love him.

Literally I would kiss them and I want to BITE them: HIS CHEEKS ARE SO PERFECTLY ROUND I WANT TO CHOMP ON THEM. ALSO ALL THE KISSES TO HIM!!!!! BABY BOY!!!! GIVE HIM ALL THE KISSES!!!! AND HUGS TOO!!!

Bastard: the way he FCKS WITH SOME CRIMINALS. OH MY GOD. THE WAY HE IS SOMETIMES A MENACE ON PURPOSE. THE WAY HE SOMETIMES GETS SO ANNOYED HE JUST GOES FOR HIS WATCH. Also the way he is an absolute bastard to KID. His attitude is just so. *chef kiss* Love a menace of a child, HE'S AMAZING. HIS RAZOR SHARP SMIRK, THE MISCHIEVOUS CHILD FACE.

I have way too many favourite bits related to this boi. So. Have these random screencaps from my DCMK folder.

I hope you have fun reading this madness, Cyn! I HAD AN ABSOLUTE BLAST, YOU HAVE MY ETERNAL LOVE, may you have an absolutely blessed day, dear.

#detective conan #magic kaito #la junk talks #detco posting #asks #vampirecatsw #did i make shinichi be the 4th bc of a pun? totally #i've been infected with sillypunnitis #you literally went and asked about my favourites you are the best #(tho. that is not hard to do bc i adore so many characters in detco fkvjnfdvkjfnk i'm obsessed TM)#may you have fun reading this word vomit hahahah #god can you tell i love talking about them? gosh bc i do #also me thinking about what it tells about me that i would not SQUEAK takagi #but i would shinichi ksjfndfjvndfk #takagi wataru: too good to be squeaked

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dreaming-medium · 4 months ago

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This might end up being a super long message so I apologize in advance. I’m a yapper :)

I needed to say how much I absolutely love Animals Without Direction. It’s not even funny how hard this fic grabbed my heart & will not let go. Your fic is what cemented me getting into Stray Kids. Before this, I knew of them, I even had “Backdoor” on Spotify but that was as far as I cared to go. Like 2 ish weeks ago, I ended up reading another OT8x Reader fic before this one just out of morbid curiosity ( I will always succumb

to reading something where the MC has multiple partners, I just eat it up) & the love I had for the author’s previous work & I loved it so much. I read another one after that & I was slowly finding myself caring about these boys through these fics but yours?? I knew I could not go back after reading AWD. I became high key obsessed with how you wrote them & that obsession turned into me wanting to know the real people behind these characters. One of the best decisions of my life, I swear. (I tried to fight getting into them so much but every interview that popped up on my YouTube or edit that made its way onto my fyp would not let me lmao).

The way the boys are written, the world building, the tension surrounding every situation, ect. It’s all so amazing. Even in your Kinktober work, the same thing applies. I rarely read kinktobers bc there’s usually no build up to the sex & I’m left bored bc the build up is always what gets me. Yours are just *chefs kiss* (That Min one has a grip on me. I live for a nerdy boy x popular girl story. AND Frottage?! I’m obviously that girl, they all obviously want me, like it can’t get better than that idk)

I’m going to make one last point & it’s so minimal that you’re probably not doing it on purpose but I just had to point it out. The way you write the reader to have minimal descriptors means a lot to me. I’ll explain: One of the very many reasons that I got out of reading K-POP fics specifically is that, more often than not, the reader was not someone I could identify with & it would take me out of the story completely. I’m not talking personality wise but physical traits.

Ex. I’m black so my MC is always black. If I read that the “reader” is supposed to be “blushing pink”, I 100% know that this reader was made with a fairer skinned person in mind, even if it’s not said explicitly. So the reader I have no longer exists & my mind is thrown out of the story. It’s different if this reader is supposed to be an OC or it’s tagged differently or whatever else, but when it’s supposed to be a character that anyone should be able to place themselves into, it’s a bit upsetting when it’s not. I hope that makes sense.

With your story, that has not happened to me. I could image the reader to be whoever & it fits. It feels like a true “reader x *insert character here*” story as it’s tagged. I’m not sure if that was your intention, as I know a lot of authors do try to have that thought while writing, but it’s something that I appreciate & it makes the reading experience so much better for me personally.

Anyways, this was just a very very long winded way to say that I love your work & I’m waiting on my knees for the next updates 🤍🤍🤍

I am so so sorry that it took me this long to reply to this message, but you obviously put so much care into typing this out so I wanted to return the care I put into replying to you.

First off, thank you SO much for your kind words. Genuinely, it means so much to me that you enjoy Animals Without Direction. Truth be told, when I first came up with the idea, it wasn't going to be an OT8 fic, it was originally going to either be a Chan, Minho, or Seungmin story. But the more I kept developing it in my head, the more I got emotionally attached to these characters I assigned to them.

The character I particularly got attached to was Jeongin as the Squire. He just kept tugging at my heart strings when I would develop little story lines. And then I was also thinking about Felix and how much his character means to the MC and every single one of them came tumbling after.

I can't even stress the smile I got on my face when I read that I got you more into SKZ with my fic. It's SO funny that you would say that because its another OT8 fic that got ME into SKZ.

Tangled by Ao3 user ThisPeachIsDirty got me to look further into SKZ and fall in love with our boys.

THANK YOU for the compliments on my writing style as well! Sometimes I get so worried that I put too much effort into the plot and the story that I forget the romance. Especially with my kinktober series (which I do plan on continuing, life is insane for me at the moment).

(Also, I also love a 'they're all in love with me' trope. i do not care if its not realistic. its my world and everyone else is living in it.)

That last point you made is not minimal. It makes me SO SO happy, you have no idea. Because, believe it or not, it IS something that I actively try to consider and adapt to when I'm writing.

The reason that we read 'reader inserts' is so that we can all feel like we're a part of the story. And it's so important that no person is left out of that narrative.

I cannot STAND how many fics all play on the 'I'm tiny, in 4 feet tall and I weigh 80 pounds soaking wet. I have dainty, tiny, frail little bones and every single person towers over me and constantly reminds me how small i am.'

oh it boils my BLOOD.

I am a 6 foot tall, athletically built, amazon of a woman. Me and my swimmer shoulders are NOT small and dainty.

My best friend is POC. And something she always told me about reader inserts is exactly what you're saying. She would say that she could tell it was written by someone who is not POC. It breaks my heart.

And while I do use descriptors sometimes. For example, i do bend this rule a little with statements such as "at your asymmetrical features", "you're not a tiny person either", or maybe a hair descriptor that may not fit someone. I do genuinely try to keep it all inclusive, because that's what these types of stories are supposed to be.

So THANK YOU for noticing. I'm happy that I could provide something that is well deserved and should not have to be requested.

I promise an update is coming soon. Quite possibly within the next few hours. I'm on a business trip at the moment and if my boss doesn't invite me out to dinner tonight, I plan on finishing the next chapter in my hotel room.

Life is... insane lately. I have zero spare time left with the job I have now.

But I promise it's coming!! it's like 90% done!!!!! Maybe even 95%. I'm trying to decide where I want to end this chapter in terms of the story.

Love you so so so so much. <33333

#sunny asks #animals without direction

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