#< probably too anxious from my wisdom teeth removal tomorrow

[emypony]

.

[featherypromises]

Seokjin wasn't going to come out of this unscathed. Featuring sickie Namjoon, a smidgen of Jungkook, and Seokjin. Caretaking with Hoseok, Yoongi, and Seokjin. Minor mess warning!

For the prequel, click the link below.

Do as I say, not as I do (2):

A good hyung

Seokjin woke up. Not in his bed; laying down, but sitting in a rolling desk chair with his upper body stretched out face-down on top of Namjoon's comforter. He must have fallen asleep after putting Joonah to bed. 

The leader of BTS was still fast asleep. His mouth hung open, allowing quiet, congested snores to escape. He was also blissfully unaware of his audience of one. 

Remembering why he had been in the room in the first place, the older man reached over to gently place the back of his hand against Namjoon's forehead. The sleeping boy was still a bit warm, but definitely not as bad as he had been last night. The oldest member sighed tiredly and stretched. His back ached from the awkward way he had slept, but as long as Joon was okay, it was worth it. 

Getting up quietly to avoid waking his dongsaeng, the taller man left the room, closing the door behind him. He could hear voices and commotion downstairs, so the others were probably up. He tried in vain to flatten and smooth his flyaway hair as he headed towards the kitchen. 

Hobi was in the kitchen, preparing vegetables and chattering away at Yoongi, who, in his hyung's absence had started breakfast… Or lunch? Was it really 11:30 already? 

The maknae line was in a row on the sofa, looking like living representations of "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil" and they were oblivious to how cute it looked. Tae was holding the sides of his head, being aegyo. He had just trounced Jimin thoroughly in a video game and the defeated Jimin was covering his eyes in utter disbelief at the upset of his victory. Poor Kookie, looking only half-awake, held a tissue over his nose and mouth with both hands, blowing his much abused nose softly. Seokjin watched them, entertained, as the younger members teased each other and squabbled amongst themselves.

The oldest rapper turned to place the cooking pot into the sink and saw his hyung and what he was looking at. Immediately, Yoongi poked Hoseok and jerked his thumb towards the young vocalists. They shared a smile before turning to Seokjin. 

"Morning Hyung!" Said Hobi brightly.

"Barely…" Yoongi added, "Where's Joonah?"

"Sick…" admitted the older man with a sigh, "I think he caught it from Kookie, but… well, you know Namjoonah never does anything halfway."

Yoongi muttered a curse, 

"Aiisssh, that kid! Seriously…If he would just slow down for a minute…" Hoseok quieted his friend by placing a kindly hand on his arm and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"Is he doing okay? How can we help? 

Seokjin smiled at the dance leader and shook his head, 

"I gotta handle this one, Hobiyah. It's not bad enough for him to go to the hospital, but he had a fever last night and this morning. I stayed with him overnight to make sure he would be alright." The oldest member rubbed his sore neck and looked at the counter in front of him rather than meet the eyes of either of the younger men. 

Hobi sucked in a breath through his teeth, making a disapproving cluck,

"Hyung! I could have stayed with him, or Yoongi,... You realize you are probably going to get it too now right?" 

Min Yoongi put two and two together in his head and swore again,

"Damnit Hyung! You are just as bad as Joonie! You catch everything these punks bring in here!" He pointed at the three youngest on the couch, drawing their attention. He continued,

"How long did you lecture Namjoon on his health yesterday, or today? I know you did! Don't shake your head at me hyung. You should apply some of your "wisdom" to your own life! Any of us, except maybe Jimin, (the exception to this statement objected with a loud "Yaaah!" and was ignored) would have had a better chance of not catching this than you. It's a miracle that you didn't catch it from Jungkookie!" Yoongi glared at the taller man, who glanced up when the rapper paused for breath.

"I know. It was dumb, but I couldn't just stand by and watch. He hid how sick he was until I found him out and demanded that he take today off. I know I'm going to get it, if I don't have it already, Yoongiyah. But Joon wasn't going to rest or tell anyone, because he felt that would be wrong for a leader to do that when we were all working so hard." Seokjin could feel the youngest three members' eyes on him and he turned towards them,

" You three need to stay away from Namjoon's room for at least a few days. This bug is a lot worse than what Kookie had..." Jungkook blew his nose again, and Seokjin corrected himself, "well, has… This isn't personal, it's being sure that we all don't end up getting sick. Okay?" The young trio nodded, and Seokjin continued, "I'll be with Joon until his fever's gone, but after that, if I start feeling even a little bit sick, I will be in my room, so steer clear until I let you know it's okay to go in again." 

He got more nods, and "Yes, Hyung"s from the maknaes. The eldest member turned back to Hoseok and Yoongi, who was still glowering at him.

"I'm going to need a few things: tissues, cough sweets, cold medicine that fix congestion and coughing, and some of the juices from the refrigerator. Food will be harder to figure out… Yoongiyah, Can you take the soup I froze last week out? Joon can eat that for a while. If I only come to the kitchen to heat up the food and we sanitize well, we should be able to reduce the chances that anyone else gets this."

Hobi began collecting the requested items as he spoke, leaving his hyungs to sort out the rest. Min Yoongi put his pointer finger up in a warning gesture,

"Hyung, you are going to tell me when you start to feel even a little off… I will bring food to you and to Joon. We really can't afford to have another member get sick or the recording next week is going to be delayed." Seokjin nodded reluctantly. He hated being fussed over, but the rapper was right. 

"I will." The oldest hyung gathered up the supplies and returned to Namjoon's bedroom. The door creaked a bit as he opened it, announcing his reentry. Namjoon groaned as he turned over and opened his eyes slowly. Putting the care items down on the desk, the older boy went over and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Hey Jooniyah, how are you feeling?" 

The younger man looked up at his hyung blearily,

"Dot good, Hyug. I'b so stuffed ub, I cadt breathe." Seokjin cringed as the younger man coughed harshly into his hands. His body shook with the effort and the struggle to stop the coughs seemed to drain the little energy the rapper had. 

"Let's get some medicine in you, Joonah." The older man helped him sit up against the pillows and measured out the red, gloppy medicine. Handing the tiny cup to Namjoon, Seokjin opened a berry-flavored juice and set it beside the sick man on his nightstand. The leader swallowed the stuff with a grimace and immediately chased it with a big gulp of juice. He licked his lips reflexively and winced. They were so badly chapped that the bottom lip was bleeding slightly. 

"Are the others okay?" asked the not-so-off-duty leader,  as he pulled a tube of lip balm out from under the pile of books on his nightstand and applied it generously.

"Worried about you, but fine otherwise." The older man replied honestly. Namjoon dropped his gaze to his lap and his fingers began toying with the bottle lid. Seokjin sighed,

" They would have found out sooner or later… besides they have to let the managers know that you are not well enough for the photoshoot tomorrow."

That made the leader look up sharply. When he started to protest, Seokjin held up his hand,

"Even if you feel 100% better tomorrow, you might still pass this on to the others. Nobody wants that, Jooniyah." 

The rapline's maknae looked like he still had objections for a moment, but his body had other ideas.

"Hh...Hiih-Hxxgt! Hhxxntch! Hiiphissh! Hektshuh!! Hhh...huhhh…ugh."

As the sneezes ripped their way out of the younger man's nose and throat, he struggled to squash them into his elbow as Seokjin watched helplessly. The oldest member grabbed the tissue box, pulled out a few and handed them to his Dongsaeng. Namjoon hitched for a moment more before groaning in frustration, as the last sneeze eluded him. He took the tissues and blew his nose cautiously, not wanting to trigger another fit. The sound made Seokjin's hair stand on end and he shuddered. It sounded similar to someone popping small bubbles on bubble wrap as the viscous liquid was forced out little by little.

"Poor Joonie… I'm sorry you are feeling so bad." The older man smoothed Namjoon's hair away from his forehead, checking for a fever. The findings gave Seokjin a little comfort. Joon might still be under the weather, but the fever was gone. The vocalist cleared his throat, as he quickly removed his hand, trying to regain his composure and hide his relief. This small action had an unexpected consequence, however. The ailing rapper looked at his hyung with confusion, which quickly evolved into anxious concern, then a guilt-induced panic:

"Hyug, you're dnot… Oh no, did I ged you sig?!? Shit! I'b so stupid! How could I have let you do all those things for be yesterday?!? I shouldn't have let you dnear be! And you were here all last dnight too? I'b so sorry, hyug!" 

Seokjin's utter shock at this sudden reaction, shaped his mouth into a small dumbfounded "o". Recovering himself, he tried to calm the unwell man, who was still berating himself with a thoroughness that showed that this was not the first time that he had thought these insults at himself. 

"Joonah! JOON! STOP! Just stop it now! You are not stupid at all! Never say anything like that again! If I get this cold, so what? I've had colds before. It's my job to look after myself, and if I don't, then the consequences are my fault. Mine. Not yours." Seokjin drew the anxiously trembling man to him, embracing him tightly, " I took my vitamins and got plenty of sleep, so that should give me a fighting chance. Yoongi said it was weird that I hadn't already caught this from Jungkook, maybe I'm building up some resistance." 

The older man felt the other man's congested breathing calm as he held him. Seokjin released the slightly smaller man slowly, guiding him back to lean against the pillows again. 

"You don't have to worry about anything except feeling better, okay?" The vocalist ruffled Namjoon's hair gently. The younger man nodded slowly, then blushed as his stomach grumbled its impatience for food loudly. Seokjin laughed,

"Sounds like you're hungry! I'll check with Yoongi and see if lunch is ready." A few text messages and minutes later, Min Yoongi entered carrying two bowls of chicken and vegetable soup.

"Seokjin-hyung said you weren't feeling well, so your hyungs thought soup would help you get better faster. Hoseokie will come check on you later." Yoongi held out one bowl to the younger rapper and gave the other to Seokjin. The normally taciturn man seemed to struggle for a moment before saying, 

"You worried us, Joonah… Next time you aren't 100%, just tell us. We won't think badly of you for something you can't control." 

Namjoon responded with a sheepish smile,

"I will, Yoongi-hyung… sorry."

Min Yoongi brushed the apology away with a flap of his hand,

"Quit with your sorries and eat before it gets cold." Namjoon obeyed and ate with obvious enjoyment. Seokjin would have been content just to watch the younger man eat. He was happiest when he could cook good food for the other members, but at the moment he had more pressing issues. An alarm bell was going off in his head, signaling him to do something about a tickle that was growing in the back of his nose. He fought for control as his nose twitched and scrunched with irritation. He had only a few seconds to act. He stood abruptly,

 "HH- I'm going to use the-hhh bathroom. I-I'll be back." He left quickly, his breath already hitching. He dashed down the hall, out of earshot and sneezed desperately,

"Heh-hephBrrrsshuh! Ahh-Brreshooo!" The sneezes bent him at the waist, forcing him to try to catch them in his cupped hands. His eyes stung as his sinuses burned and his nose wasn't through with him yet, "Hhh-H'Ressshuh! Ah-GRSShooo! BRESSHUH!" 

Seokjin's hands were covered in a mess of liquid and his face twisted in disgust. He sniffled fruitlessly and turned into the bathroom, leaning his back against the door until it closed behind him. He used his elbows to turn on the faucet and scrubbed his hands until they were bright pink. He sniffled again, trying to prevent the fluid from running over his upper lip. 

The cold had finally caught up with him as Hoseok and Yoongi had said it would. He wasn't congested like Joonie was yet, but Seokjin knew it was only a matter of hours. He was just glad he had been able to leave before Yoongi, or worse, Namjoon had seen or heard that fit. The normally quiet Yoongi would have dragged his hyung by his ear back to the vocalist's bedroom and superglued the taller man to his bed. A small smile played across Seokjin's face at the mental image that accompanied that thought. But that picture was quickly warped until he could only see Joonah's panic-stricken face and hear the younger man verbally beating himself to a pulp over Seokjin getting sick. With a herculean effort, the oldest member pushed the gut-wrenching nightmare image away and splashed water onto his face to help clear his head. He would have to keep this development from Joon. If he didn't, the younger man would just make himself sicker worrying about things that he couldn't fix or change.

The vocalist dried his face and hands before grabbing some tissues and blowing his nose. The man knew how pointless blowing his nose was at this point. It was like kicking at a wave rolling onto the shore: you couldn't stop it, but trying made him feel like he wasn't giving in to the illness yet. He shoved extra tissues into his pocket, just in case.

Steeling himself, he returned to the youngest rapper's bedroom. Yoongi gave him a suspicious look as he entered, but said nothing. Instead the younger man put his pointer finger close to his lips in a pantomime of "Shush". Seokjin relaxed as he saw that their leader was asleep again, his bedspread lovingly tucked in around him and a box of tissues within easy reach. 

Silently the older men collected the bowls, flatware, and empty bottle of juice and left the room like shadows, closing the door behind them. They moved down the hall towards the stairs, when Seokjin felt a tap on his shoulder from behind. When he turned to see what the rapper needed, the older man was instantly subjected to a long, deft finger poking him in the nose. Seokjin stumbled back and gasped as his now sensitized nose objected, and launched him into an itchy flurry of sneezes.

"Wh-what the Hehhhl! H-Heh-Hahrresshoo! HehGrresshhoo!! Hat'shuuh! Ghessshoo! Heh-HAH-HEKT'SHOOO!!! ASH-CHOO!!!"

Unable to cover with full hands, Seokjin sneezed openly, twisting away from the younger man. At the end of the fit, the older man was a sniffling, drippy wreck. He wiped his runny nose on the forearm of his sleeve. Through teary eyes, he saw Yoongi glaring at him, arms crossed; the dishes he'd been carrying on the floor, forgotten.

Defeated, the older man made a face at the younger man before continuing down the stairs with the dishes. He put them into the sink and used a paper towel to clean himself up, as Yoongi caught up with him. The rapper deposited the remaining dishes into the sink and said,

"I could hear you from down the hall."

Seokjin went white as a sheet. Had Namjoon heard too? The shorter man shook his head, in response to the unasked question.

"Joon was too busy to hear… his nose was causing him problems too. He was so tired after that much sneezing that he almost fell asleep sitting up." 

The singer sighed in relief. He nodded and turned to head upstairs to get some rest himself. It would be a long couple of days. Passing Yoongi, he rested one large hand on the smaller man's shoulder.

"Don't tell him… Joonie would just be upset."

"Fine, but you have to promise me, Hyung, that you will text either me or Hobi if you need anything or if you start feeling really bad. Any sign of fever or…anything…" Yoongi didn't meet his hyung's eyes, but Seokjin knew that was just the rapper trying to hide his concern. Six years of friendship had given the oldest member at least that much insight into Min Yoongi's mind. He smiled at the younger man, 

"I promise, Yoongiyah." His tender moment with the younger member was interrupted by another sneeze. This time he was able to fish a tissue from his pocket to catch it. 

"Huh-HUH-HEH-GHSSSHH!" The younger man rolled his eyes at his hyung,

"Yeah-yeah, let's get you back upstairs. I'll check on Joonie once you are settled and I'll have Hoseokie check on you later."

The oldest member snuffled into the tissue and nodded, following the smaller man up the stairs and into his bedroom. Seokjin wasn't really surprised when the rapper turned down the bed coverlet and sheets or when he pulled the shades on the windows to darken the room for sleep. What surprised him was that once he had laid down, Yoongi with practiced hands began to tuck him in, in the same way he had obviously done for Namjoon, not long ago. Seokjin hadn't experienced this in years, it felt strangely comforting. 

"Sleep well, Hyung. I will bring you some medicine in a few minutes." The older man smiled at the rapper, showing a mixture of pride and gratitude, and said just loud enough for Yoongi to hear as he turned to leave,

"You are a good hyung, Yoongiyah."

"You too."

[imagine-ikebukuro]

tagged in a few things

more under the cut!

92 truths meme

Tagged by: @glitzcake​ thank u!

LAST…

[1] Drink: orange juice

[2] Phone call: a friend of mine, annika

[3]Text message: my brother

[4] Song you listened to: this remix, i’m obsessed with it lately!

[5] Time you cried: aw shit, a few days ago? last weekend? idk man

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] Dated someone twice: no

[7] Been cheated on: nope

[8] Kissed someone and regretted it: yup

[9] Lost someone special: kind of? but… more in a sense of drifting apart rather than someone passing away

[10] Been depressed: not diagnosed, but i’m pretty sure my mental health is not at its best at all

[11] Gotten drunk and thrown up: lmao yes and not only once either

LIST THREE FAVOURITE COLORS…

[12] grey!

[13] turquoise!

[14] burgundy!

IN THE LAST YEAR…

[15] IN THE LAST YEAR…

[16] fallen out of love: nah

[17] laughed until you cried: pretty sure

[18] found out someone was talking about you: people be talking shit 24/7 and all i gotta say about it: I DON’T CARE AS LONG AS IT’S ABOUT ME

[19] met someone who changed you: mhhhh, no not really

[20] found out who your true friends are: definitely!

[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yeeeaaah? could’ve been in 2015, my sense of time is terrible Dx

GENERAL…

[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% of people, 5% others are friends i’ve known for several months or years over the internet and 5% are random people or some “celebrities” i found lmao

[23] do you have any pets: no, sadly not ;;

[24] do you want to change your name: i’m fine with my name, tbh!

[25] what did you do for your last birthday: i went to the museum and ate sushi with my family and a few weeks later had a party with my friends

[26] what time did you wake up: today? 8am

[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: watching youtube videos

[28] name something you cannot wait for: to finally be accepted to college and not being nervous about applying for university and everything, but have it all sorted out

[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: she’s sitting in the same room as me right now

[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: if i could go back in time, i would do anything to have my father and i get along properly today

[31] what are you listening to right now: a zelda remix playlist

[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: actually, yes, i had a huge crush on someone named tom, he was two classes above me during middle school

[33] something that is getting you nervous: the thought of me getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, ugh. also, general organization and planning shit, like applying for college, moving out of my hometown, living on my own very soon, being forced to meet new people, all that jazz.

[34] most visited website: i guess tumblr? even though, lately, it’s probably youtube

[35] elementary: 2004 - 2008

[36] high school: graduated last year

[37] college: i can apply for my first semester next week. if i’m accepted, i’ll start going there in fall this year.

[38] hair color: i’m a ginger, so red-brown

[39] long or short hair: short! i cut it into an undercut like almost 2 years ago

[40] do you have a crush on someone: no, i avoid that shit

[41] what do you like about yourself: my eye color?

[42] piercings: i literally got zero piercings, not even on my ears, but i wish i had an industrial piercing and i used to really want flesh tunnels, maybe i’ll get there eventually

[43] blood type: i actually don’t know :^)

[44] nickname: some people call me lilly, some call me li. the villagers in my animal crossing town call me ukeprince, wot

[45] relationship status: married to the neighbour’s cat which i saw from my window and went out for just to pet it about 500 times by now

[46] zodiac sign: virgo!

[47] pronouns: they/them, she/her, he/him

[48] fav tv show: at the moment i’m watching PLL (but i don’t like it at all so rip) my favorite’s gotta be buffy the vampire slayer!

[49] tattoos: none yet

[50] right or left hand: right handed

FIRST…

[51] surgery: i had surgery in my mouth last year and like mentioned above, i’m getting my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow, if that counts

[52] piercing: none

[53] best friend: she’s not even active on tumblr anymore, rip, her name’s lydia though IF YOU READ THIS, THEN HELLO MY BRO

[54] sport: i’m planning to swim regularly again after recovering and healing up from surgery

[55] vacation: if it counts, my first ever “vacation” was the music festival Rock im Park 2013 with my father and a good friend of mine

[56] pair of trainers: no clue

RIGHT NOW…

[57] eating: nothing

[58] drinking: orange juice

[59] i’m about to: maybe get to playing some loz: botw

[60] listening to: still the loz remix playlist

[61] waiting for: anxious feelings to pass

[62] want: a huge cup of coffee

[63] get married: nopedy nope, i don’t fixate myself on wishing to get married. if it happens, it happens and i’ll be happy about it, but if not, then that’s cool on my terms, too!

[64] career: i’m working on becoming a teacher (i want to teach german, english and ethics in high schools)

WHICH IS BETTER…

[65] hugs or kisses: honestly, it depends, but generally, i’d say hugs

[66] lips or eyes: eyessss

[67] shorter or taller: i don’t care, both is nice

[68] older or younger: as long as it’s pretty close to my age, i don’t mind

[69] romantic or spontaneous: neither LMAO if i had to chose, romantic, bc i’m as spontaneous as a potato, i gotta plan ahead, bruh

[70] nice arms or nice stomach: stomach! and by that i mean any kind of stomach! ripped af or soft, i’m weak.

[71] sensitive or loud: sensitive

[72] hook up or relationship: relationship

[73] troublemaker or hesitant: a nice balance between the two would be cool. let’s be real though, troublemakers always catch my eye, even though i’m quickly annoyed by them just as well wtf is wrong with me

HAVE YOU EVER…

[74] kissed a stranger?: no

[75] drank hard liquor?: yes

[76] lost glasses/contact lenses?: no wtf i’d be walking around half blind

[77] turned someone down: yes

[78] sex on first date?: no

[79] broken someone’s heart?: apparently so

[80] had your own heart broken?: at the time i think i would’ve called it that, but honestly, it wasn’t that horrible, so nah?

[81] been arrested?: no

[82] cried when someone died?: yeah

[83] fallen for a friend?: do lowkey crushes count in which you gush over how amazing someone is? platonic crushes? it’s a thing.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN…

[84] yourself?: i used not to, but lately i’m more confident i think!

[85] miracles?: not really

[86] love at first sight?: no

[87] Santa Claus?: no

[88] kiss on the first date?: sure

[89] angels?: no

OTHER…

[90] current best friend’s name: Lydia

[91] eye color: greyish-green (if i cry or sometimes late at night they’re really GREEN!)

[92] favorite movie: nightmare before christmas!

10 questions ask game.

tagged by @peacefuldesires​ thx!

What things make you smile and all warm-fuzzy inside? CATS no seriously, i can have the worst day, but when i walk home and get to pet a cat on the way, i instantly better. i remember coming home after my last final exam all upset and a cat meowing at me and purring and wanting to cuddle with me and i couldn’t help but smile!

What things make you feel a bit sad (don’t push yourself to answer this one)? my current family situation, there’s a bit of drama and fights going on.

What things inspire you to grow? anything and everything, to be honest. there’s new things you experience and learn every single day. things you conquer and master just fine and mistakes you make and all of them shape you into knowing what to do next time a bit more.

The last song(s) that you couldn’t stop listening to? i can’t really think of anything right now, uhhhh, i’ve been listening to the trust me durarara!! ending lately again haha

5. Are you an introvert/extrovert/ambivert? What kind (are you a shy extrovert, super confident introvert, or perhaps a really confused ambivert :0)?: i’m an introvert through and through. i wouldn’t say i’m exceptionally shy nor super confident. i’m somewhere in between. it really depends, around my friends i’m outgoing and cheering and with certain strangers, especially if i know i have to talk with them for literally no longer than 3 minutes right now (i.e. a cashier or someone you walk past) then i’m polite and rather talkative. i just feel exhausted even after spending a lot of time with friends, though the time was enjoyable, but i need my alone time for sure.

What calms you down? the triangle breath! it’s my favorite method to use whenever i feel anxious, upset, angry, or just need to stop and pause for a few minutes. you picture a triangle in your mind (you can even trace it with your finger, or if you can draw it on a piece of paper). you take a breath in through your nose, tracing one side of the triangle. then you breathe out through your mouth, tracing the second and third side of it. other than that, listening to music, taking a nap, petting a cat, watching videos of cats or other cute stuff, sometimes playing a video game.

A character that you really relate to (perhaps you have similar personalities, or maybe you came from similar backgrounds)?: this is gonna sound trashy, but saeyoung choi from mystic messenger and there’s a story behind it too. my friends were playing it way before me and told me “there’s this character that looks just like you, you know nerd glasses, messy red hair, always wearing a baggy black hoodie. he even acts like you, making puns and using memes ALL THE TIME!” and it’s true lmao. also, kaneki ken to some extent? like i really resonate with his personality, the choices he makes, his thoughts speak to me, he’s pretty harsh on himself and goes through ways that are self destructive if he can help others with it.

One thing you love learning? language, it’s just fascinating to me.

Angst or fluff? ANGST, I AM THE ANGST QUEEN, COME ON

If you punch yourself, does that mean you’re strong or does that mean you’re weak? neither and a little bit of both at the same time. let’s go deep in on this one and take the “punch” as emotional self loathing. bashing yourself down definitely doesn’t mean you’re strong, it doesn’t make you tough at all, it only means you’re harsh on yourself. it doesn’t make you weak either. you’re making yourself believe you are weak, but the fact that you endure that and still have the power to do so, means you’re tougher than you’re think.

MY QUESTIONS:

Now that spring’s here, what’s your favorite thing about this season and what do you not like about it?

What’s your spirit animal? Literally. Which animal do you think resembles your inner self and why? (maybe your Patronus, if you know it?

What’s your go-to order at a café?

Do you consider yourself to be creative?

If you could go back in time and change something, would you? If so, what? If not, why?

Where do you see yourself in 20 years from now?

Home sweet home, what makes you feel comfortable in your own home? What’s the overall aesthetic of your room, any colors, textures, an atmosphere, do you maybe keep many stuffed animals or posters or plants?

What do you think is most important when it comes to friendship?

What’s something you improved in since last year?

Werewolves or Vampires, which are cooler?

I tag: @imagine-your-party-hosts​ || @obsessivefujoshi​ || @dotaccino​ || @mollyxmousey​ || anyone who wants to do this

[anything-advice-blog]

idk what’s come over me but im living in a constant state of fear. I’m scared that something really bad is going to happen to me, like death? idk why this is, i think it’s b/c im graduating uni in a month and going on my dream vaca and have no clue wat im doing when i come back. I feel im at the end of my line. I’m also walking around with wisdom teeth that need to be pulled but I cant afford that atm so it’s scaring me as well. (i know they can be removed later once I find a job w/ insurance)

cont. I’m feeling really anxious, when im at home thinking that somethign bad will happen and I cant focus on school. I just want my vacation day to come quick so I can enjoy it and come back home safe and sound. I almost think im like bad luck everytime i discuss future plans and goals something has to bother me and go wrong. please help me I can’t focus im so scared tag as :vacationdoom

vacation doom again, can u guys please try to answer me quickly. can i add i think it’s paranoia that is my problem, i keep scaring myself with medical issues and ive been fine. Like the wisdom tooth thing ive spoken to friends and fam and they say ill be okay and just get it fixed when im back from vacation and have money/job. Idk why im scared these thoughts in my head wont leave me alone that I can’t be happy and I have no future. Im so scared so scared

Hey love, 

First, let’s take a few breaths, okay? Take a deep breath in through your nose. Breathe slowly over a count of 5. Feel your lungs being expanded. Imagine a balloon being blown slowly and fully. Then slowly exhale through your mouth, cycling your breath through your system. Imagine that you’re getting rid of the air in the balloon. Imagine your stress radiating off with each breath. Keep breathing until you feel that you are calmer. 

Whenever you fee like everything is too much, just try and focus on breathing. Whether you die today or in a million years, just focus on breathing for now. We can’t predict the future with certainty but we can do with what we have right now. We’re alive so breathe for now. 

The fear of death is very common. I believe the majority of people alive are afraid of death. It’s the fear that we have to face every day; however, instead of letting it stop you from giving your life, let it encourage you to live it to the fullest. Whenever you get these anxieties, try and write them down. What are you afraid of? Is it just death or perhaps it’s triggered by a certain thing? A lot of people are more anxious about death when they’re faced with a certain trigger. Like natural disasters or when they feel ill. Hypochondriac can feel as though they’re dying when they have a small thing like stomachache and it’s not like they’re exaggerating. For them, it’s the truth so they’ll think of the worst things. I feel this way back in November after the elections. With the anxiety that was already brewing in the community, state, and the country about the election, it made me even more fearful. After the election, people became more aggressive towards people of colour and other minorities so I became extremely afraid. I was scared to get gas and the station was a block from my school. 

So write it down. Once you’ve done that, try and make logic of it. Does it make sense for you to be afraid of earthquake if you live outside of the west coast? That statistics for that isn’t high and although it’s not impossible, you can pretty much be correct to say there won’t be one tomorrow. Or does it really make sense to feel like you’re going to contract ebola? Have there been cases in the area? Are you traveling abroad soon to places where cases of ebola has been known? If not, then you can pretty much be certain you probably won’t get that either. Try to talk to yourself about these things and really think about it. 

I don’t know what about the wisdom teeth that’s got your freaked out, but call your doctor if you need to and ask the questions you need answered. How long are you putting it off? How far has it come in? Does your doctor say that if you don’t have it out ASAP something will happen? I put mine off for a year and it wasn’t until my headaches got really bad that I got them out. It was the same reason: money. So talk to your doctor if you need to and see what you can do about it in the time you have to wait. 

I don’t believe in the fact that you can’t be happy or that you have no future. Unless you don’t want to be happy or don’t want a future, you can make it happen. Happiness can be found within yourself. You can make yourself happy. With or without a significant other. You have a future. You’re going to do things and be in places. It may not be the future you had dreamt of when you were six but it’s a future. If you keep working at it, if you keep trying, you’re going to end up in a place that’ll make you happy. If you don’t want to settle for a mediocre future, then keep pushing. Keep fighting for what you want because it’s your life. It’s your choices. It’ll be hard and it’ll suck some times but if you give it your best then that’s a better future than you can hope for. 

I highly suggest you talk to some friends that you trust about these fears. Perhaps some of them share these fears and you guys can find comfort in each other. Or they can just comfort you because they’ve been through it before. As for your other anxieties, it may be helpful to talk to a counsellor about them. You may feel that they’re unreasonable but there’s no fears too unreasonable. Fears are fears and you can’t help them. The more you talk about them, the more you face them head-on, the better you can become at handling them. 

You can do natural things that’ll help ease your anxiety. If you know you’re more prone to anxiety when you feel stressed, do various things to help ease the stress levels. Exercise, go for a walk, stretch, draw, sew, paint, read, shower, etc. Help yourself in ways that you can find helpful. Make sure that you’re drinking and eating enough. When you’re not getting enough nutrients, your body can freakout and become more stressed than necessary. 

As your plans for after your vacation, take them one at a time. Are you going to University? Are you planning on working? Look into it, one by one. You don’t need to have it all figured out. I graduated college and I honestly can’t tell you where I’ll be next year. I can’t even tell you what I’m doing this summer for work. But take it one day at a time because sometimes you just have to do that. 

I hope you have fun on your vacation

Always by your side,

Kelly