#;frillz gets real for a second

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

Yknow I get a lot of sales emails about father's day and whether they want me to turn them off, and stuff like that

And once upon a time this day really did stress me out but now idgaf

I think it's nice if people's dads/father figures have a nice relationship with them!

Just don't ask me to celebrate, that's all lol

When I say "I survived a narc" that's who I mean. I know people throw that word around a lot nowadays but if he got evaluated, I am 100% sure he would clinically be diagnosed as one.

Long story short when you realize that when they're nice to you, they're being fake, and when they're being cruel to you, they are projecting, and that they will never "see the light", it's easier to run away and stay gone.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

So there’s been some discourse on the dash today and without getting too deep into it, I will say that I have noticed the behaviors too and it can be frustrating.

And I’m trying to type this carefully, because I really am not trying to tell anyone to shut up or that they’re overreacting or anything like that. Ok??

 I’m just going to say what I think here! And I’m hoping that maybe it will help with the frustration, if you want to read.

Basically it’s kind of like dealing with people IRL. You’ve got to just try and find your little tribe of people that roll with you. I mean IMO that’s all you can really do, especially now. You can’t control another adult that you don’t even know. You just can’t. You can’t make somebody like you and you can’t read minds. That goes both ways. 

And sometimes when people do certain things, it’s not even because of something you did. For example, if you wrote a rule in your blog that you know you don’t intend to follow, that’s a problem with you. Idk what to tell you.

And it’s important to have confidence in your muse or portrayal and try to be authentic. The right people for you will stick around!

I’m not trying to point the finger or say that talking about this stuff is wrong, because it isn’t, it’s just that this ended up being the healthiest solution for me, who can be a huge internalizer. It made it easier to deal with the frustrating things. People can just be frustrating sometimes, that’s just part of being a person yourself!

That might help, or not. I hope it did. But I just felt like talking about it because I’ve been thinking about it too.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

I just want to tell you guys that even if you don't interact and you just follow because you like reading my posts, I appreciate you :) I'm glad you like them!

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

You know since we are on the subject, aside from "don't respond to mean anons ever", I want to share another thing I have learned throughout the years:

Don't take internet stuff too seriously. Enjoy yourself but maintain a bit of distance. Have offline connections and activities that bring you joy and purpose. I have seen this time and time again in many different communities: as soon as the internet and your real life start to blend together, when your online life becomes the only one you have or the only one you like, disaster will come sooner or later.

...Ok so this got a bit heavy.

But the consequences can be heavy too! So just keep that in mind.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming...!

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

Like most of us I have been contemplating the end of the year.

Most of it was a blur for me but here are some good things that happened:

I am now 100% financially independent and it's a lot of work but it feels amazing!

I actually did keep up my resolution to exercise more and I am seeing results! I'm not a gym rat by any means, but it's way easier to do things now and I just feel calmer.

I faced a lot of demons and now my mental health is way better than it was last year. I feel centered as fuck.

On that note, I want to tell you guys that facing a hard truth about you, or about life, or uncovering something dark and scary is not bad and you should lean into it. You need to dissect that shit and learn all about it. Go as slow as you need to, but if you just hide from it like I was, you will never be free, ever.

Some other good things happened, and some not so good things. But those are what I wanted to share with you!

The theme of this year was "do what you gotta do".

What are you proud of this year? You can tell me if you want!

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

Now I've seen a post and feel like talking about it so let me get my soapbox b/c I will never shut up about this

Let me tell you ok

The moment I was like,

"Fuck it

This is my blog, on my internet that I pay for. This is how I like to write. I'll focus on who likes it instead of who doesn't like it"

It was really freeing ok

I hope you get to that moment too. Because that's really what it is.

It tugs at my heartstrings when people post about how they don't want to post things or write things, and I mean perfectly normal non-prison-worthy things, because of other people's opinions.

And do you know what's crazy. I have come across people who RP things that I consider absolutely repulsive and degenerate. And they don't give a SHIT. They DO NOT CARE. People send them anons and shit and they're just like "and what are you going to do about it? GTFO".

And you're worried about writing too many ships? My friend. I think you are stressing out too much lol.

Guys if they aren't paying your bills fuck it. If they don't even know you IRL fuck it. Go find people who like what you like and mesh with you. They are out there. And you attract them by being yourself, not someone else.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

@thuganomxcs

Here are 3 times (and a bonus) that made me genuinely sad in a video game. Get your vodka ready. No seriously.

For anyone interested this contains massive spoilers for the games END ROLL and OMORI, which are good games but will rip your soul out and eat it raw in front of you.

Oh also death, a lot of death and blood so PLEASE do not click if that bothers you! 

Without further ado, I will start with the worst one first.

So basically END ROLL is a psychological horror RPG about a teenage murderer, Russell, who is undertaking this psychological experiment to make him feel guilty about his crimes, since he doesn’t at the start of the game. Throughout the game we learn some snippets about his life and how he turned out the way he was.

So there is this one optional level that’s all white with blood splatters all over. The enemies are blood themed, but also rabbit themed? Bunnies made of blood and a monster that looks like a smiley rabbit head? And you’re like “wtf”?

Then you learn that when he was a little kid, he had a white rabbit that got ran over by a truck when it ran out into the road and he saw the whole thing

YOU ARE FIGHTING HIS DEAD RABBIT OVER AND OVER

YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THIS YOU MUST FIGHT THEM

AS YOU FIGHT YOU HEAR CHOICE QUOTES LIKE

“Why did you die? I took care of you. I loved you. So why?”

“You were white but now you’re red. Just red.”

BTW THIS IS THE MUSIC PLAYING WHILE YOU ARE WALKING AROUND

I WAS ALMOST IN TEARS 

My dog had died recently so I just remembered how it felt when it happened. I could only process it because I was older when it happened, but it was still very sad. I could not imagine that happening when I was a little kid.

The monsters were vulnerable to the “Sleep” element so I kept using sleep attacks before I killed them omg it was rough. Needless to say I did not go back in there lol

Anywayyyyy

There was the first time I accidentally blew up a horse in Breath of the Wild! I FELT SO BAAAAAD!! I killed all of the enemies lol. “YOU MONSTERS MADE ME DO THIS!!!”

And lastly...

In OMORI there’s a scene where they are repairing a photo album. One character had stolen all of the pictures of a deceased character, Mari, but then she relinquished them out of guilt. And so you put all the pictures of her back into the album while Mari’s friends and her brother share memories of her, and in the pictures everyone looks so happy compared to what they are after her passing.

If that’s sad for you wait until you experience it WITH CONTEXT!  Because it’s worse lol.

Bonus!

In one OMORI level, in “HEADSPACE” (aka the character escaping from reality) you are faced with stabbing yourself or stabbing your cat. You cannot exit the room, you have to pick one. I did not know that you could stab yourself so I ended up stabbing the cat and I just felt like a monster lol. I just had to put it down lol.

The game is really lovely though. I think it’s about accepting the truth, even if it’s bitter, and moving on and how important that is. The characters are interesting too.

...I will probably never play it again though XD

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

I really like psych horror games even though they put me tf through it because psych horror is the only horror that really, REALLY scares me.

But I see a movie/game/book about someone going crazy or being manipulated or battling their mental health issues and I’m like BRING IT ON BITCH LET’S DO IIIITTT!!! GET THE POPCORN

The best kinds are when you are not 100% sure what exactly happened, a la Perfect Blue.

I think it’s because of my own past with mental health, at least a little. It took a lot of work but I can manage things quite well now. Maybe that’s why I can watch it now. But I know what it’s like when you feel like your mind is attacking you.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

ooc

I mean I say this not only for RP but for writing in general ok

It’s ok to have your character be the bad guy sometimes

It’s ok to have them make mistakes or hurt or upset others, intentionally or not

It’s ok for them to have bad habits or trauma responses and not have the words to describe why they do that

Because that happens with real people! Even people you like do things that get on your nerves. And there is a reason why they do that. And there’s a reason why that annoys you.

Fiction is a way to explore these things!

[theothervonkarmagirl]

ooc:

my drugs of choice:

The Moomins

Inosuke’s VA playing Hinokami Chronicles almost entirely in character

Puppy shorts

Shorts with puppies on them

Super Eggdog

Vintage meme videos like Flea Market Montgomery (esp. that one)

Fatass kawaii plushes

Court Cam and Bar Rescue clips

Gudetama

they never fail to give me seratonin no sir

[theothervonkarmagirl]

ooc:

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER. 

REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME:  Frillz PRONOUNS:  she / her PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION:  I use tungle mainly, but I use discord too. I don’t rp much on the latter though. NAME OF MUSE(S):  Miles, Maria, Clara, Siegbert. (for all my blogs) RP EXPERIENCE/HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?):  Oh shit. I think like 12? I started in high school. PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED:  I've used tumblr for the longest, but when I first started I used forums! BEST EXPERIENCE:  Well in general I love when there's something going on between 2 muses and the dash commentary is just as funny/engaging!!! And I still remember years ago when, in my forum group, this slow burn ship that we all just really loved got married and we literally made it this huge event omg. Someone even made fake invites it was wild as hell. RP PET PEEVES/DEALBREAKERS:  I have a couple really big ones, and I will TRY to keep it concise lol. 

Making demands/ultimatums or insulting me, because I don't do that to anyone here. It is never that deep. 

Thinking that things my muses do are things I’m ok with in real life/treating muses like they are real people. Again it is not that deep, you don’t know me in real life. Please stop lol

Saying you want to rp but then never doing it, esp. if we have a ship. Like if I'm sending asks, making starters, trying to plot, and not getting anything back, no feedback, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do except move on. DISCLAIMER: I'm not talking about people whose muse ebbs and flows, people who are busy, etc. That is totally fine! Basically if you communicate, everything will be daijoubu! 

Not communicating or getting really defensive when I try to do that. I had people do that to me when I was new to this, so I will admit, I was bad about that too, in the past. Now I try to be more proactive about it when something is amiss or I don’t like something. I try to do it as gently as possible, so I would like that from my partners, too.

FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT:  I actually do not write explicit smut! But I prefer angst only slightly to fluff. It depends on the situation lol PLOTS OR MEMES:  I like memes the best! But plots are nice too. I think I prefer plots as an overarching storyline vs. a single thread though. LONG OR SHORT REPLIES:  Usually shorter replies are what you get, but sometimes I'll go into multipara. I think I've been doing that a lot recently. BEST TIME TO WRITE:  I like writing at night the best, but that's not always what happens lol. ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S):  There is a little bit of me in all of them I think lol. Like Miles I get too attached to my pets lol. Like Maria sometimes I think I have a smart mouth. Like Clara I do like nature (...not as  much as her though LOL). And like Siegbert I had a time where I wanted to impress everybody.

tagged by: @bloodxhound tagging: you!

[theothervonkarmagirl]

ooc: obligatory new year’s stuff

So this year was a ride. Not as much as the one before. But still. 

Let’s think positive though!

Here are a few things I learned and some cool things that happened this year.

If you want, you can share your own too~

1. I learned that the field I am in now is NOT what I want to do holy fucking shit I have like 3 days left and it is taking everything in me to not use all my PTO for them and just not c OME lord

2. Sometimes if something seems impossible, it’s because you are just scared and you need to nut up. JUST!! DO IT!! 

3. You can’t escape yourself. No matter where you go or what you do or who you hang out with. I don’t mean to be spooky and ominous! But it is true. Face your shit. Similarly...

4. You need to be honest about the kind of person you are to be happy. If you keep lying to yourself, you will just be miserable. Don’t worry about everyone else. You’re the one who has to live with all your decisions. (Unless you have kids though)

5. I improved on all my hobbies this year! And I am taking better care of myself.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

ooc

hey yall I just want to say something

IDK just a lot has been going on today for me and a lot of people for lots of reasons, both here and IRL

After all, where I live, tomorrow is the Dawn of the Final Day and I think no matter who wins some shit will pop off

BUT

Idk I just want to say please stay safe. And please cope in a healthy way. If you need help doing that you can google some ways right now! 

And things might seem bad and frightening but it might not be that way in the end. And if it is, it won’t last forever. You can handle whatever happens.

That’s what I keep telling myself anyway lol. I hope it helps somebody else.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

🍭:

Idk I just saw some posts like this on the dash recently and like

I know it can be hard sometimes and I speak from experience.

But if someone doesn’t want to interact with you, unless they directly tell you why, don’t take it personally. People can have a lot of shit going on. It might not even be because of you, or your writing, or your character. Also 9/10 this person doesn’t even know you. So it can’t be personal. So don’t beat yourself up!

Also, this is corny, but believe in yourself! I know we have fun over here, I think my characters are pretty good, I think I’m a nice enough person. If someone says no or doesn’t respond, then we’re just not compatible in some way and that’s the end of it. Time to find people I AM compatible with and focus on them! I think adopting that mindset will be healthier for you than “nobody likes me, I am a bad writer”.

Which means that you have to keep trying. If you come across someone you want to try writing with, just send a message (if their rules allow it of course), it won’t hurt anyone. I have met a lot of people here by just messaging them. :) And now we write all the time! 

It will happen in time, so don’t get discouraged.

[theothervonkarmagirl]

((Do you ever look back at how you were in the past and realize you are doing things that you told yourself were impossible back then and not even thinking about it))

[theothervonkarmagirl]

((I saw a post earlier about how if someone liking something you don’t like makes you really mad and you want to post anon hate and shit, then you should log off and take a walk and then unfollow

Which I agree with

But on the flipside

You don’t have to engage with anons either. Like I’m not better than people who do this because I’ve done this, the temptation is real, but unless you’re getting paid to engage with an audience, if someone sends you a dumbass anon that makes you mad just delete it or block them, seriously. It will be so much better for you mentally. 

You do not have to argue with those people lmao. You do not have to defend yourself, you do not have to change your blog to fit what they want. YOU HAVE BETTER THINGS TO DO. LIFE IS SHORT. THEY DO NOT PAY YOUR BILLS.

If they don’t like your blog, they can leave, like it’s that simple. Besides, they might be trying to make you mad and every time you respond they’re laughing at you. 

Idk I just felt like bringing this up lol. I just don’t like seeing people wasting energy like that.))