#;Rukia: why be quiet when I can bluff a little B)

[glacialdeath]

“You don’t have to say anything.”

Being silent was a lesser chosen path of hers. At least in comparison to her brother, Rukia was far more chatty, burstful even, and more often than not came off strongly opinionated. Or at least she tended to think that was the case. Really she just knew better to cover herself in distractions and business rather than strange silence that was far too much unlike her.

When she was casually approached in conversation about her experience in Hueco Mundo by the other she quickly curled up, slowing down, becoming cautious of her words. Was it so obvious that something was still pulling her on the matter? It was a feeling similar to being caught and cornered, much like the days when she would get snagged for her thievery. Likely sensing Rukia’s apprehension, the conversation seemed to step back, Eri allowing Rukia a get away, perhaps remembering a another time when things had gotten a little heated between them when one particular topic was brought up. That entrapped sensation fades at those words as Rukia allows her tightly clenched hands to fall to her side and she finally allows herself to let out a breath. 

The other’s words are enough for her to hesitate; in this moment there is so much she could say, but her voice feels caught in her throat, trapped between her mind and her mouth. Even now she feels like there is still things that she is processing from then, but until now the thoughts were festering, bouncing around in her head without escape. And it is true that she could say nothing at all and leave it at that, but she holds herself to a better standard than that. Rather than taking the opportunity to grasp that silence, she shakes her head, refusing to take that easy path and braving herself to bring the words out of her. Still, she’s not quite fierce and certain about all the things to talk about them directly, so she begins with speaking of things indirectly, starting with more solid facts rather than feelings or thoughts. Grasping or taking others up on offers like this was something she wasn’t used to either.

Her hand rises to touch her chest, compulsively hovering about the scar there that seemed to light with a flame at the memory of his trident through the flesh. “I’m pretty sure I should have been dead. …Or I was?“ As her brows furrow, trying to recall the strange sensation, she trails off, still mystified to this day quite how she survived. That fight wasn’t quite a defeat that she was downput by, despite it being one of her most recent fights since reobtaining her powers, an unseated officer taking down an espada was a unique tale that had never been heard of before But for Rukia there was an honor in putting an old spirit that she owed so much to at peace, or so she liked to think of it. The whole thing had a sort of final farewell to it all. Maybe it would be alright to talk to someone who wasn’t so close to the matter. “That espada… he had the body and face of my old lieutenant.” She clarifies, glancing down at the palm of her hand. “It wasn’t some sort of illusion or manifestation either, that was really his form, I could tell.” The feel of his hand on her head; her body remembered all the habits and sensations instantly as so uniquely Kaien. She wasn’t brave enough to say that she couldn’t bring herself to cut him down with that look without proving to herself that it wasn’t truly him, and that his appearance had made her take far more injuries during the battle than she would like to admit.

Still refusing to break, Rukia keeps up her tough appearance, barely blinking as she glances back up. Unlike that night from before this time was different; the battle was long and intended, her soul full of determination and not fright. With this final blow she knew what she did was right. It didn’t excuse her old sins, but it relieved her somewhat of an old burden; while the event was like reliving a nightmare it felt like she shattered it, at least able to see things more clearly and stand a little taller to face all directions; past, present, or future. . 

But there was still the fact that she had learned that it was that spirit that had been used for years, trapped in Hueco Mundo since the demise that she thought she delivered all those years ago. She falters, clenching her jaw, and speaking quickly. “I have put that man through too much. If only I had known sooner. I--” Would she have braved through Hueco Mundo and brave herself to try and face that monster? Back then, when the loss and guilt was more fresh, she knows she wouldn’t have hesitated to try anything for redemption, no matter if she shook at the thought. 

Feeling vulnerable for too long, Rukia takes a sudden turn, bringing her hands to her hips and beaming with pride as she stands up straight and hums. “Well, with my great abilities and strength, I was able to take him down and that’s all that matters.“