#;I Long for a Loss of Breath and a Most Dire Predicament || Silence and Shadow's What I Adore(Chara: Ryou Bakura);

[astaeris-in-the-stars]

List of Poe's references in the song Buried Alive by Creature Feature

I love Poe's work and I'm always delighted when I find references of his works. I discovered this song today and while I read the lyrics I noticed some titles of Poe's works, so I decided to do further research and I realised that this song is nearly entirely made of titles of Poe's poems and short stories.

[Intro]

Then the blackness loomed close up against my skin, snuffing out even the evil whiteness to those damming lips, driving all sensibility into retreat, in a mad rush of the senses and the soul into Hades!

refers to the poem « The Pit and the Pendulum » :

The blackness of darkness supervened ; all sensations appeared swallowed up in a mad rushing descent as the soul into Hades1

[Verse 1]

I forever dream within a dream

refers to the poem « A dream within a dream »

Of a certain city in the sea

refers to the poem « The city in the Sea »

As I walk the valley of unrest

refers to the poem « The Valley of Unrest »

Behind this mask of crimson death

refers to the short story « The Masque of Red Death »

I long for a loss of breath

refers to the short story « Loss of breath »

And a most dire predicament

refers to the short story « A Predicament »

Murders in the rue morgue

refers to the short story « Murders in the Rue Morgue »

Silence and shadows what I adore

[Chorus]

Well I can't explain just how it feels

The thoughts of my premature burial

refers to the short story « The Premature Burial »

Inside this oblong box I lie

refers to the short story « The Oblong Box »

With the hopes I'll be buried alive

[Verse 2]

The oval portrait upon the wall

refers to the short story « The Oval Portrait »

Will someday cause this house to fall

refers to the short story « The Fall of the House of Usher »

The power of words left unsaid

refers to the short story « The Power of Words »

As I join the spirits of the dead

refers to the poem « Spirits of the Dead »

[Chorus]

Well I can't explain just how it feels

The thoughts of my premature burial

refers to the short story « The Premature Burial »

Inside this oblong box I lie

refers to the short story « The Oblong Box »

With the hopes I'll be buried alive

[Spoken]

As they lifted and bore me down, down to a place of blackness and dampness and silence... silence…

refers to the short story « The Pit and the Pendulum » :

[T]all figures that lifted and bore me in silence down – down – still down – till a hideous dizziness oppressed me at the mere idea of the interminableness of the descent.2

[Verse 3 ]

Well, I'm the man who's

Used up

Washed up

Bricked up

refers to the short story « The Cask of Amontillado »

Descent into

Maelstrom

refers to the short story « A descent into the Maëlstrom »

Bedlam

Redrum

Bet the Devil

My head

refers to the short story « Never Bet the Devil Your Head »

Misled

Bloodshed

Heart under the floorboard

Beats for

refers to the short story « The Tell-Tale Heart »

Lenore

refers to the poem « Lenore »

Nevermore

refers to the poem « The Raven »

[Chorus x2]

Well I can't explain just how it feels

The thoughts of my premature burial

refers to the short story « The Premature Burial »

Inside this oblong box I lie

refers to the short story « The Oblong Box »

With the hopes I'll be buried alive

1Edgar Allan Poe, « The Pit and the Pendulum », Volume1 : Tales[1842] New York, J. S. Redfield, «The Works of the Late Edgar Allan Poe», 1850, p. 4.

2Ibid., p. 5.

[citizen-sade]

I long for a loss of breath, And a most dire predicament. Murders in the rue morgue, Silence and shadows, what I adore. Well, I can't explain just how it feels, The thoughts of my premature burial. Inside this oblong box I lie, With the hopes I'll be buried alive...

[tombstone-ghost]

I forever dream within a dream Of a certain city in the sea As I walk the valley of unrest Behind this mask of crimson death

I long for a loss of breath And a most dire predicament Murders in the rue morgue Silence and shadow's what I adore

I can’t explain just how it feels The thought of my premature burial Inside this oblong box I lie With the hopes I’ll be buried alive

The oval portrait upon the wall Will someday cause this house to fall The power of words left unsaid As I join the spirits of the dead

I can't explain just how it feels The thought of my premature burial Inside this oblong box I lie With the hopes I’ll be buried alive

Well, I’m the man who's used up Washed up Bricked up

Descent into maelstrom Bedlam Redrum

Bet the devil my head Misled Bloodshed

Heart under the floorboards Beats for Lenore Nevermore

I can’t explain just how it feels The thought of my premature burial Inside this oblong box I lie With the hopes I’ll be buried alive

( I don't own this song, obviously, all credits go to Creature Feature! )

[selfless1978]

SURRENDER PART 2

Leo groaned as he slumped in his chains. He was bruised, beaten and battered to the point even his mighty endurance caved. He was bleeding from numerous wounds, and he was alone.

Barely able to keep his eyes open, his head tilted towards the ground, he watched silently as the blood trickled from his lip to fall the seeming endless distance to the floor. Despite their efforts however, Leo had kept his silence. His brothers had gotten away with the plans they had come to steal. Karai had desperately tried to get him to reveal where his brothers had fled to, and she had failed. But she had come very close to breaking him to his breaking point physically.

Despite his dire situation, his mind wasn’t on his predicament. It was lost somewhere else entirely. His Father, his brothers and….her. Vicky now filled his mind along side his family. Her smile, her gentle teasing, her laugh, her hair. The scent of lavender that filled his nostrils every time she was near. Her soft skin against his as they lay exhausted in each other’s arms. It physically hurt how much he wanted to see her right now. 

This wasn’t the first time he’s been in a dangerous situation. This time was different though. He was worried, about her. What would happen to her if he didn’t make it out of here? She seemed so fragile to him in so many ways. The pain and hurt she had already suffered through, this shouldn’t be added to it. It was those thoughts that let him hold on, that fueled that inner fire within. He had to hold on. He had to….

There’s so much life I’ve left to live, and this fire is burning still

When I watch you look at me, I think I could find the will

Time seemed to not exist here in this darkened room. The only way to tell that it was passing at all was the slow drip of his blood down his body. It was finally beginning to slow, his advanced healing kicking in. That little win was quickly smashed back down to the ground when he heard the doors open in front of him. Someone was coming in. Several someones by the sounds of footsteps. He lifted his head and watched Karai come in. Four of her cronies following her.

“Have you decided to talk, Leonardo?” She gave him a vicious half smile when her only answer was a glare from him. “No? Then I think it’s time to increase the severity of our methods. Bring me the cables.” She snapped over her shoulder. Two of the four individuals walked across this room of hell to grab the requested items as Leo stared Karai unflinchingly down. He wouldn’t tell her a damn thing, because if he did it would put everyone he cared about at risk. He raised his weary head up more and glared at her defiantly.

His cool anger flared in him.

To stand for every dream, and forsake this solid ground

And give up this fear within, of what would happen if they ever knew

And turned into shock as another figure appeared in the doorway. One he knew now very intimately.

Vicky was there. She was furious. Even from here he could see the anger in her eyes as she carefully made her way in. His heart beating wildly at the sight of her, but he remained silent. If he spoke out he would reveal her presence which was obviously still unknown to his captors. What was she doing here? How did she find him? And what in the nine hells was she thinking!? If something happened to her….

I’m in love with you

Even as she approached, her eyes watching everything as she slowly crept closer. A low growl escaped his throat and with a surge of adrenaline he jerked hard at his chains. His fear for her safety rapidly rising. 

Kara laughed at his feeble efforts. “Try as much as you want. Those chains were made specially for you, Leonardo. I seriously doubt you will break them. Fool.” She then grinned maliciously and held up a single key. “This is the only way out of them for you, and I have it.”

Vicky stopped, her eyes now locked on Karai from behind and narrowing dangerously. Carefully she pulled something out of her belt and she began to brace herself for something.

Leo could only watch. He knew what was about to happen but he could do nothing about it. His fists clenched in helpless fear filled anger as Vicky took in a deep breath, met his eyes with her deep brown orbs and smiled at him. Giving him a minute nod of assurance. Leo forced himself to calm down. If he wasn’t careful, he’d give her away. And he was beginning to understand that she was his only hope to get out of here. He had to surrender himself to her. He calmed, his fists unclenching as he watched, and waited.

‘Cause I’d surrender everything, to feel the chance to live again

I reach to you, I know you can feel it too

Leo held the gaze with her a moment longer, then she charged on silent feet. 

Vicky’s hair had been tied back into a long braid and it now swung violently behind her as she rapidly closed the distance between her and Karai. As she grew closer Leo could see that what she was holding in her hand was a collapsable asp, and she snapped it out with an expert flick of her wrist. It was that sound that finally made Karai turn around, just in time to receive the self defense weapon right in her cheek. Kara’s head snapped around as she fell to the ground. Without stopping to look, Vicky quickly spun and gave the two soldiers with Karai the same treatment. That gave Vicky enough time to pick up the dropped key and quickly unlock one of Leo’s wrists and placing the piece of metal in his hand. Which he quickly put to work on his other wrist.

We’ll make it through.

The reason why she handed him the key became apparent when the two Karai had sent off to find the requested Items came running back. With a squeal, Vicky turned and ran, her element of surprise now lost. She was just fast enough to make it around an island counter to use it to put some distance between them. 

Of course there two were smart enough to split up and go around each end. That left Vicky with the only option of going on top of it. She managed to kick one in the face with a victorious “Ha!” before the second managed to grab her foot and pull. 

Vicky fell hard grunt onto the metal surface, but she was watching Leo struggle to get free and that sight refused to let her cave to the pain. Instead she snarled and began to kick the man viscously in the face as he approached. She was fighting, not for herself but for him. Leo was at a loss of words as he watched her furious struggle. Struck with something a mixture of concern and awe.

A thousand dreams I still believe, I’d make you give them all to me

I’d hold you in my arms and never let go

Finally, he managed to get the damn thing off, and promptly collapsed to the ground. Having been locked up in that uncomfortable position for god knows how long, his weakened body just couldn’t support his weight. He struggled anyway, knowing she would need his help.

Or did she?

Even as he fought off his dizzy haze at the sudden freedom, he felt gentle hands cup his cheeks. 

“Easy. We got a few moments. Gather your strength, we still have a bit to go to get out of here.”

Leo struggled to focus as he looked into her face. By now she had torn a strip off cloth off of one of the fallen guards and used it to wipe the blood from his face. Despite his cloudy vision, the concern, and something more on her now gentle features, was clear to see as she tended to him. After a few moments, not caring about his larger size, she guided him as he stood shakily on uncertain feet.

“I got you.” She murmured to him as she took his hand. “Just follow my pull.”

Leo sighed, not liking this helpless feeling, but he nodded and moved his feet to follow her as she led him out.

I surrender.

Right outside the door Vicky paused a moment to bend over, picking something up off the floor. When she turned and walked behind him and he felt her tugging on his harness he realized that she had found his katana and slid them home in their sheaths. Once they were secure, she once more led him along.

Leo’s vision was beginning to clear and his head was slowing it’s spin. But not fast enough. He stumbled and she quickly pushed him against the wall she had been hugging so he wouldn’t fall. The spell passed a few moments later and he looked at her with a clearer vision, and found her looking back up at him. No fear in her eyes at their predicament. The surge of emotion he felt for this woman suddenly surged high, a huge lump forming in his throat. She smiled back up at him as she squeezed his hand.

I know I can’t survive, another night away from you

Leo took a moment to repay the gentle motion from earlier, his hand cupping her cheek as he looked into those brown eyes. Eyes that closed as she raised her hand to cover his. That one moment telling both how much they needed each other.

That intimate moment lasted a short bit longer until she once more led him towards the exit. Leo quickly noticed that she was going a different route than he had been brought in from. “Where are we going?” 

“Servant entrance.” She replied even as she kept a sharp eye out around them. “It’s closer than the main entrance. I guess the clan likes to keep the maids close by the holding cells incase if they have to clean up any messes.” She spat out, anger in her tone. Obviously considering Leo as one of those ‘messes’. 

They lucked out for most of the trip, until the sound of a klaxon blared out. Vicky swore under her breath and Leo needed no clarification to figure out what was wrong. His absence had clearly been found out. Vicky’s tug was more urgent now, though she still was gentle with him. Leo was recovering, but not fast enough to escape what happened next.

The corridor in front of them was blocked off with soldiers who had been alerted. Not far behind them, Leo saw the door she had been hoping to get through without being detected.

“Shit!” Vicky swore under her breath as the first cry rang out. Her expression was firm as she snapped her weapon back out as they rushed forward. She let his hand go, and to his dismayed shock, she charged them. Her angry scream feeling her pure stubbornness. His eyes were wide as she spun, her asp slapping one soldier hard in the side before she pushed him into another. A third she kicked in the groin and when he bent over, her arm came up from below to slam the asp against his chin. He fell to the ground but there were more. More than she could take on. Leo froze a moment in shocked fear.

Just for a very, very short moment.

You’re the reason I go on, and now I need to live the truth

Right now, there’s no better time. From this fear I will break free

Leo watched as the person who completed him fought so hard for him. The fact that she was in danger spurned something deep inside of him. Something he had though had been drained out of him by Karai’s relentless torture. He shook off his fear for her, understanding that what she needed now was not to be coddled, she needed a fighting partner. She had come here for him. She had risked everything….

….for him….

Leo was beginning to understand that this special woman, who didn’t have the fighting experience he had though she obviously had some fighting knowledge, was trying desperately to give him time to get his shit together so at least he could get out of here. As he watched, she tried to divert the mass into another corridor to free the way for him to reach the door. Then, she finally fell to the ground. Still fighting and cursing, but obviously out matched.

And I’ll live again with love. And no they can’t take that away from me.

With a low growl and steely hiss, his katana came free. Held in steady hands.

And they will see

Leo charged. Not as fast or as strong as he normally was, but he pushed away the pain as he drew closer. He came in with a spin, one blade high and the other low and unleashed a flurry of swings that send the first three in his path to the ground. 

The ground where Vicky kicked the knee out from a fourth, her defiance still clear to see in her eyes despite the bloody lip and cuts on her black sweater clad arms. Another booted foot kicked out even as she slapped another in the calf with her asp. 

‘Cause I’d surrender everything, to feel the chance to live again

I reach to you, I know you can feel it too

Two more were cleared out of Leo’s path. His breathing heavy as he struggled. But he could do this. He had to do this. They were so close to the exit, so close to freedom. They were so close to him being able to hold her safely in his arms. He refused to let it end here. Not when she risked everything to get him out. He punched out and yet another soldier was cleared.

We’d make it through.

Vicky was growing  weary. He could tell. Her furious flailing was starting to slow down. Still, she refused to give in. Holding her own as best she could as the group was beginning to thin out. 

Finally, she had made it back to her feet. They were now cut off from each other though. With the remaining men in-between them. Vicky let her frustration out at that situation by slamming her asp upside the head of one of those men. They had obviously seen Leo as the larger threat, much to their error. While Leo worked his end, with most of the men facing him, Vicky had no problem using that to her advantage. She systematically slammed her weapon into everyone she could from behind while Leo himself forced them to face him.

A thousand dreams I still believe, I’d make you give them all to me

I’d hold you in my arms and never let go

In normal circumstances, he would have refused to ever even let her think about doing something like this, but now he had to trust in her. Because without her even he in his current state couldn’t fight through this. He had to surrender his trust to her. And he did.

I surrender

Leo didn’t know how long this went on. Long enough for his arms to grow heavy and pained with weariness. It was the fact that Vicky was here with him that kept him going. The fact that she was right there. So close, but out of reach. He wanted nothing more than to hold her. To feel her hand in his again. He had to keep on as she kept on.

Every night’s getting longer

With another growl, he pushed himself harder. Determined to get to her, and then to get out. He refused to accept another option or outcome. 

And this fire is getting stronger, babe

He heard her curse out in pain, and heard her asp retaliate. Then, suddenly it seemed, the way was clear. It was also then that he stumbled again. His body giving in, his vision blurring as he struggled to stay conscious.

I’ll swallow my pride and I’ll be alive, can’t you hear my call

“Vicky! Where are you!”

I surrender all

“Right here.” Once more her hands cupped his cheeks. “I’m right here.” 

‘Cause I’d surrender everything, to feel the chance to live again

There was another sound of feet rushing in, and Vicky swore loudly. She stood up to face this new onslaught without fear, her eyes on fire as she stood in front of Leo to protect him. This time, he couldn’t help her, he had nothing left to give. All he could do was watch through the pain and haze as she once more had to pick up the fight. He had to believe in her, trust in her. Surrender his entire being to her.

I reach to you, I know you feel it too

But she didn’t have to make that last stand. The door behind them suddenly was ripped from it’s hinges. The reason why stepped through the now empty frame and towered above the downed Leo and standing Vicky. 

We’d make it through

“I got this.” Raph rumbled lowly as he walked by. Donnie following him. “Get him out of here.”

A thousand dreams I still believe, I’d make you give them all to me

I’d hold you in my arms and never let go

Vicky wearily stepped back as Mikey helped Leo to his feet. Vicky then joined Mikey in supporting what weight she could to help Leo stand. Leo pulled her weakly to him. His mouth and nose resting in her hair as he held her close to him for a moment.

I surrender

He just held her as the fight raged on. Breaking that hold only because Mikey ushered him towards the door and into the waiting vehicle. Raph and Donnie soon followed and finally, finally, Leo was on his way home. 

Donnie worked around the couple, not seeming surprised that Vicky had been there. A fact that Leo took note of.

“Why?” Leo asked the woman he held to him.

Vicky knew what he meant. He could tell as she pulled her head back to look at him. Her face worried about him, but still gentle. “Because you needed me.” Was the simple reply. She smiled up at him. “I’ll always be there if you need me.”

Right here, right now. I’d give my life to live again

My everything, I surrender all to you

Leo was at a loss for words. He just gazed down at this woman who had just risked everything for him. He really didn’t know what to say as he pulled her close to him again. After a while he managed “Don’t do that again.” In a gentle tone as he held her.

“Unlikely.” Donnie piped in dryly. “She threatened to shave dad bald, paint Raph’s shell pink, pawn off all of Mikey’s games and destroy my lab if we didn’t let her help us get you out once she found out what happened. Her argument was that one human could find their way better without causing too much attention than three large turtles. Your little cookie has some rocks instead of chocolate chips buried in her, Leo.”

Right here, right now. I’d give my life to live again

My everything, I surrender all to you.

Leo just shook his head and chuckled. Then he grew quiet and held her, surrendering to the relief, and to her warm embrace as she held him just as tight. He let himself surrender to his feelings for her, and the unspoken awe he was feeling again for this woman who was determined to be in his life, for good and bad.

@the-second-circle-of-shell

@bushido-in-blue

I found this version of the song and I just had to do one in reverse mode. I hope it turned out good.

[katzuyas]

what living feels like

written for @softviktorzine which I had the utmost pleasure of being included in, thank you so much to the mods and all the participants bc this zine was truly made to be Good and Wholesome 💕🙏💕🙏💕💕

read on ao3

There is nothing worse, Victor thinks as he shakes the already wheezing bottle of conditioner, than being empty.

The life you lead, the work you do, the time you spend simply... existing. Not living, because life is where you breathe and your heart beats inconsistently – sometimes slow, sometimes fast, sometimes even when it stops; living is vibrant, like skating. Existing is... Victor looks at the empty bottle in his hand, an unhappy curl to his mouth. It's exhausting, he decides.

But what is even more exhausting is taking care of your hair properly when the world just seems to be out to run you dry. Huffing through the stream of water running down his face, he rinses what measly remains of product he has somehow managed to put in his hair and then turns off the water with a heavy sigh. Before the mirror, he waits for the surface to clear, and then assesses the damage.

"Well, that's great," he says to his own reflection, which looks just as jolly as he feels.

He doesn't bother blow-drying: it can't get any worse than it already is. He drapes a towel over his head instead, hiding the mess from view at least for a short while. He steps into the bedroom in a dire need of cuddles to finally start the day right, but the universe is once again dogging at his heels.

The bed is empty.

The covers are haphazardly bunched up in the middle and they look as sad and abandoned as Victor feels. To think that Yuuri, who loves sleeping in so much, would leave him all alone... save for a fluffy tail that peeks out from underneath the sheets.

Victor doesn't bother fighting his grin. At least one of his boys has not forsaken him in these trying times.

He jumps onto the bed, gathering the shape hiding there into his arms at the very same time as Makkachin starts squirming in surprise. Victor laughs quietly and lets him free his head. Makka's tongue is lolled out when they finally look each other in the eye and Victor's grin widens.

"Hello there, sleeping beauty," he croons, heart filled with years of affection that's still vibrant and unchangeable.

Makka's tail thumps on the mattress as if he's saying hello right back at him. The dog stretches, from the paws to the tip of his tail, and he's so long and shameless that he almost pushes Victor off the bed. Victor chuckles as he shifts to let Makka have more space, like he has always spoiled him before and will continue to, forever. They lie together for a moment in amicable silence, Victor's hand stroking the soft curls of Makka's belly that rises and falls with the power of his breaths.

The towel that's wrapped around Victor's head comes loose at some point and it unravels slowly, until it only hangs in place by the memory of its shape. It will fall off soon and Victor's curly hair will slip from their confines, but Victor resolutely decides to ignore it till that happens. He doesn't feel like dealing with it more than he already has, at least for now.

Instead of wallowing in self pity any longer Victor turns his face to nuzzle Makkachin behind the ears and ask if he wants breakfast yet, but his eyes catch on the glasses that still sit on the nightstand. Yuuri must have forgotten to put them on when he got up, but... his loss is Victor's gain.

He grins, placing the glasses atop Makkachin's head.

"Oh, Yuuri, how much you've changed!" Victor gasps in pretend shock. "You're all furry and cuddly! How did that happen, my love? You poor thing! Turned into a beast!"

Makkachin's jaws open and he pants his morning breath at Victor. Victor's nose wrinkles when the smell hits him, but then he laughs, because, really? They are both such silly geese. Even if one is a dog and another a human.

"Don't worry, my Yuuri," Victor assures, all serious. His lips twitch with the laughter he tries, and fails, to withhold. "I will still marry you, even if you're a furry monster... or if your breath smells like dog food."

At the mention of food Makka's ears stand up and Victor snorts. Of course, that would be the way to his first love's heart. He boops Makka's nose softly with a finger and chuckles to himself when Makka's whiskers twitch.

"Oh, I know!" Victor realizes suddenly. "We need a true love's kiss to turn you back! Don't we, my sweet little cupcake? Do we? Yes, we do!"

Makkachin tilts his head like he's confused, but Victor's voice makes him just as excited even if he understands nothing of what his ridiculous owner says. Victor takes his face in his hands and rubs his thumbs over fluffy cheeks, which makes Makka's eyes close in pleasure. The fluffy tail is moving, back and forth, back and forth, and Victor smiles, a small, private smile that's tender and loving, and all for his precious Makka. He kisses the smooth patch of fur right above Makka's nose and Makka licks at his chin as if he wants to return the affection.

Victor chuckles and scratches Makka's cheeks some more, humming the wedding march to himself on a whim. It's silly of him, he knows, but somehow the thought of the wedding, his and Yuuri's wedding, has crawled into his head and doesn't want to leave. Not that he wants it to.

He imagines Yuuri in a beautiful suit, fitted to his body like a glove, and matching with Victor's own. He imagines another set of rings, another set of vows, the sweet kiss at the end of the ceremony...

"What... are you doing?"

Victor's so deep in the land of daydreams that he doesn't notice the moment when Yuuri comes into the room. He doesn't notice him watching them with a fond smile, either. What he does notice, however, is the amusement crinkling Yuuri's eyes while he squints at Makka and then at Victor.

"Marrying the love of my life, of course," Victor answers, smiling wide – wider than before because now Yuuri is here. Finally.

"Ah," Yuuri says as if that has explained everything.

And it did, Victor realizes when Yuuri sits on the bed next to them. It does.

"Is that supposed to be me or Makka?" Yuuri asks, nodding at his glasses that still crown Makka's head.

Victor hums in thought, before he grins and says: "Both."

Yuuri laughs, a soft, gentle sound that warms Victor's heart and cheeks altogether. He looks back to Makkachin to distract himself from the beautiful sight that Yuuri makes as he glows with affection in the morning light.

"What do you say, Makka?" Victor asks, stroking one of Makkachin's ears. "Think you can share?"

There's a tail wag and a loving pant of smelly breath, and Makka stretches forward across the bed to lick at Victor's face. Victor giggles at the same time as Yuuri huffs a small laugh. Victor rolls onto his back to save himself from dog kisses, but he doesn't seem to realize that something even more devastating is waiting for him there – Yuuri, who lies himself next to them, takes Makka's place and leaves his own kisses all over Victor's face as if he's trying to kill him.

It's not a competition, Victor wants to tell them, but when Makka licks at the sensitive spot on his neck, which is the only place he can reach, and Yuuri continues to press his lips across Victor's grinning cheeks, all that Victor can do is give into helpless giggles. It's difficult to breathe after a while, but Yuuri's breathy laughter and Makka's cold nose play an irresistible harmony of joy and acceptance on Victor's skin and he just can't help it.

So he laughs, and laughs, and laughs, until he can't laugh anymore because his lungs are full and his heart is swollen: with happiness, with love, with warmth.

"Enough," Victor finally wheezes. He pushes weakly at Yuuri's shoulder, but it's a faux gesture – he never wants him to move if he can help it, but the necessity to breathe is a little stronger in the moment than the love that fills him to bursting. "Enough, please!"

Makkachin boofs and Yuuri laughs. He shifts back, but the warmth of his body lingers and seeps into Victor's limbs with ease. It's comforting, safe, and Victor relishes in it.

"Really?" Yuuri asks.

His eyes look into Victor's with unbridled fondness, but his lips curl up in a teasing smile all at the same time. It's an expression that Victor both loves and fears: loves, as he loves all the sides to his Yuuri and the affection he sees mirrored back at himself feels like everything he's suffered through has been worth it for just this one glance; and fears it, because it pushes his heart into unhealthy pace that makes his blood ring in his ears.

Just like it does now.

"Didn't you say just yesterday that you'd never have enough of kissing me?" Yuuri's eyebrow lifts, and Victor needs to forcibly stop himself from arching up to kiss it. "Or did I hear you wrong?"

"Yuuri," Victor whines.

He's rendered speechless beyond that, but that seems to be enough anyway. Yuuri chuckles at his predicament, the cruel man he is, and ducks his head into Victor's neck to hide his own rising blush, thus depriving Victor of his second most beloved sight: Yuuri's flushed cheeks. Instead of indulging him like Victor so wants him to, Yuuri presses his lips here and there on his neck, and it tickles, but Victor is more than happy to suffer through this touch of sweet, torturous pleasure.  

There is nothing worse than being empty, Victor thinks while his cheeks hurt from smiling and his face and neck are flushed beyond simple joy. But there is nothing better than this, he agrees with his heart, just as Yuuri shifts up to press another kiss onto Victor's cheek. And nose. And the space between his eyebrows.

Victor turns his head to catch Yuuri's lips and Yuuri smiles into the kiss.

This is it, Victor knows. His heart beats fast, but even, and he knows what he didn't know a year ago. He knows what he didn't know he didn't know. He knows, now.

This is what living feels like.

[frcgmentmuses]

Tags: Muse Related