#;;vengeance is a cold thing ( queue )

[cosmic-ghost-hermit]

Heyo! All the art on these readings is drawn by me. Take what you can from the reading and leave all that does not resonate behind but always be open to new perspectives.

The archetype reading was inspired by the deck I used today. The guide book uses examples from anime to fit the descriptions of the tarot cards. I thought that was really clever so I decided to build off that idea and tell you what archetype you are most drawn to wants to tell you. In short, this is really a message from a specific cards energy. I hope this helps anyone who might be struggling!

PILE 1

Crystal: Tigers Eye

Character: Badtz-Maru

Archetype: The Empress

Astrology: Taurus ♉️, Libra ♎️, Pisces ♓️, Virgo ♍️

Dear pile 1, you are represented by the empress of this deck. The archetype you embody is someone who is luxurious, modest, kind and attentive. You care deeply for those you love and would do anything to assist them and make their life easier. You are a fantastic friend, partner and companion. You don’t necessarily have to be a woman to embody that energy. The message this part of you wants to tell you is that your kindness is being taken for granted. Your attentiveness is being discarded as if the love you gave isn’t worth anything. Your intuition is telling you to withdraw from the connection that is causing this. You maybe started this friendship or connection a while ago but you have started to notice this pattern from the other party in this relationship. They don’t return your love. They don’t say thank you when you go out of your way to be good to them. This doesn’t mean you should necessarily cut them off. Just don’t go out of your way anymore. They are undeserving if they cannot be grateful to you for all you do. I see if you did stop it would barely be noticed at first. However, the person will slowly realize how much you did to assist them. How much work you did was important and helped them get through the day easily. If they apologize and communicate they did wrong that won't necessarily be your queue to go back to scratching their back. You need to wait for them to lend their assistance to you. That will be your invitation to return to being kind. Until then use the extra time you have working on your passion projects and aiming for your dreams.

🖤✒️🔎💻🕋🛞♟️🎤🎼🎱🏴🪨🐕‍🦺🕶️🎩🐦‍⬛💣🎵🎶♣️♠️🏴‍☠️👁️‍🗨️

PILE 2

Crystal: Flower Agate

Character: Keroppi

Archetype: The Devil

Astrology: Leo ♌️, Aquarius ♒️, Capricorn ♑️, Gemini ♊️

Hey pile 2! Your archetype is the devil. Don’t worry though, for this doesn’t make you evil or bad. All this communicates to me is you are an enjoyer of the darker parts of life. You enjoy what other people usually fear. This is definitely not something horrible you should shame yourself about. I see you probably enjoy altered states of reality or perhaps you are very free with your sexual expression. I see you like the taste of control, power and vengeance. Again not a bad thing in my mind. Humans have many states of being and no part of existence is incorrect. Your message from the devil archetype is not asking you to cold turkey your behavior. However, I think it is saying balance is super important when you dabble in darkness. You might be prone to addiction to literally anything you can get dopamine from. I am an addict as well. I know how hard restraint can be. Even doing this reading is giving me cravings to be honest so I know you deal with cravings constantly. Your cards are saying it doesn’t matter if you feed the addiction. You will always be starving for more. You will always be chasing something you can never achieve. Please take care of your body before the cravings lead to worse. When I was dealing with my addiction I ended up in the hospital multiple times. It would have killed me if I hadn’t stopped. It is okay to dabble in darkness but seriously I beg you, from the bottom of my heart please moderate. Moderation is key to keeping yourself safe. If you are meant to have the darkness, it will be in your grasp. If you are in need of a break. Trust the universe when it takes it away. You are not evil for needing. I want to reiterate that because I know how it feels to need something that hurts you.

💚🦈🪀🧃🍵🪦🥗🥒🥑🌪️🫒🍸🍏🥝☘️🌱🥈⚓️🪴🎍🐍🦎🚬👒🤢

PILE 3

Crystal: Carnelian

Character: Tuxedo Sam

Archetype: Emperor

Astrology: Cancer ♋️, Aries ♈️, Sagittarius ♐️, Scorpio ♏️

Hey, pile 3! Your archetype is the emperor. You are a force to be reckoned with. A master of your craft and skilled beyond other people's wildest imaginations. You have a plan and have been putting so much energy into it. You know exactly what you want and exactly how to get it. Your cards are pretty straight forward just like you are. They are telling me that working hard is good! That your progress is fantastic and you have made it so far! However, the pace you are keeping at is almost unsustainable. You can’t juggle all of the tasks you are trying to keep under control. You cannot do it all by yourself. That isn’t logical! Humans are not solitary creatures. We need community and connection to continue on. Humans who have been left alone for too long go hecking crazy! You absolutely can handle all of it mentally. I am not saying you are incapable because you are SO CAPABLE. Rome was not built in a day. Masterpieces are not made out of minutes, they are made out of days or months or years. You are creating a masterpiece so allow yourself time to think about it. Allow yourself the space to brainstorm and be patient with your body and your creativity. Be gentle with yourself. You are only one person and the secret you are missing is that you are not alone. The silly little secret is that you don’t need to set a deadline for the greatness you are going to grow into. One of my favorite artists didn’t make it when he was 20. He grew into his greatness when he was 35. Does that make him any less of a great artist? Absolutely not!!! You are cool, awesome and wonderful! Why do you need to prove that when you already know it is true?

💙💤🌀🪬🌨️🧿💎🚿🧊🫐🌊🌧️🌬️💨🌏🦋🪼🐬🧢🫂🥶💠

-ghost 🖤🩵

[satoru-is-the-way]

SPOILERS FOR AVATAR 2

Avatar Rick Quaritch x Navi Reader

"Given Enough"

Master list for series

Tags List: @the-wanderer-2022 @zootsutra @anyzandy   @kneelingforvillains @dioriez @mylovelyreblogs @dinobae-replyacc @voodoogoul @freshmoneyalmondathlete @thedumboneforsomereason @world-dominating-kitty @scarletpines @sofiebstar @vampire-hunter @cypherpt5fttaehyung @strangerdeeznuts @simpingfor-wakasa @tranquiiit @ellieparker

Trigger Warnings: Death, Killing, Mentions of death, and derogatory name(s).

Chapter 3 | Chapter 4- The Metkayian

The village had gathered their warriors and weapons ready to retaliate against the Metkayian. In their history war is rare but also necessary to restore balance. (Y/n) yelled commands instructing the troops on how they are to attack, which hand gestures to look for or sounds to hear. Quaritch helped load their bison now covered in war paint. He knew this had passed the stopping point. It worried him what (Y/n) would think once she discovered the truth. It is not a  matter of if but when. Time has started to tick once more. His game of pretending is over. Cualli approached the Avatar. “Quaritch, I hope you do not fail me in this battle.  By obligation when I die you must take over as Olo’eyktan. May that be in a few hours or years you must protect my daughter and our people. Do you understand? You are one of us.” He spoke with seriousness. 

Quaritch knits his eyebrows together. It all hit hard knowing if Cualli and others died…their blood is on his hands. Perhaps if he came clean now he said could spare their lives. "I need to tell you something. Since I got here-" 

"We are ready, father," Balam announced running up to his father. Rick felt his mate's hand wrap around his. 

"Are you sure about this? That war is the only way?" He asked. 

"Yes. It is the only way!"

"I know your connection was special. But if they can take one down, what stops them from others when we declare war?! Is this the only way?" He asked. 

"THEY STARTED THIS!" (Y/n) screams shoving him. "THEY KILLED HER! SHE DID NOT DO ANYTHING!" She yelled before Rick pulled her into a warm embrace. 

"Shh, my mate. Please do not cry any longer. I will stand by your side. Always. Now let's ride." He called Pup who flew beside them. His bison is also covered in war paint. "After you." He helped (Y/n) on and then climbed aboard connecting his queue. They waited until her Father, now armed, moved his bison to the front. 

"Ichil yáax, le Metkayian yéetel Kamimaljuyú u sido aliados. Mantuvimos jump'éel k'a'am vínculo.Ba'ale' wetailo'ob xan páajtal ku beetubaj a enemigos. Ts'o'ok u kiinsik jump'éel miembro k ch'i'ibalil.Le tu kíinsaj ti'! KÍIMILI' LE METKAYIAN!!!"

(For generations, the Metkayian and Kamimaljuyú have been allies. We held a strong bond. However, your friends can also become your enemies. They have killed a member of our family. Slaughtered her in cold blood. We will not accept this. Now we ride! DEATH TO THE METKAYIAN!)

"KÍIMILI' LE METKAYIAN!" They repeat and hide their bison and ikran to war. Quaritch felt his stomach twist. He knew by dawn things would never be the same. General Ardome is waiting for them. They would have the Sully family right where they needed, but at what cost? His relationship with (Y/n)...It meant everything. The people he loved…Oh Eywa, why did he choose this path? 

(Y/n) stood when the first reef came into sight. Village by village they destroyed heading for the heart of the Metkayian territory. (Y/n) had blood lust in her eyes and vengeance in her heart. Despite the feeling in his heart Quaritch of course fought beside them. Once he was happy terrorizing the Navi and now…He looked in sadness as the innocent people were at war for reasons they did not know. Their homes are on fire and everything they built and worked for is gone. All because of his own selfish actions. 

Finally, they reach Tonowari and Ronal's village, Awa'atlu. She assumed they had been alerted when the first pillage commenced. She noticed the clan leaders and their warriors already prepared for battle. They rest in the ocean on their skimwing. Tonowari made a hand gesture in their language which Cualli understood. 

"Balam, (Y/n), Quaritch, follow me." They moved onto her father's bison before gently landing in the sea. Rick felt unable to breathe seeing Jake Sully ride beside Tonowari, Ronal, and Neytiri not far behind. He knew now that they would see something was wrong. 

"Great friend of Kamimaljuyú. What is the meaning of this war?! Not only that but you bring the demon here?!" 

(Y/n)'s ears instantly went back, she hissed loudly, eyes narrowed as Tonowari spoke so disrespectfully to her mate. "Watch your tongue, sea beast." 

"Rick Quaritch is not to be trusted! I don't know what he has told you…or what he has done. But this man is from the sky people. The bad ones. Why have you come back so soon?! What are you planning to do Rick? What is your big plan?!" Jake snarled. 

(Y/n) growled but looked at Quaritch now. The great Jake Sully knows this man… Maybe in one lifetime, he was bad, but now as an Avatar, no way! Not as one of her people. "This isn't about my mate!" (Y/n) hissed at Jake who looked shocked by what (Y/n) just said. "It's about how your clan started a war. Killing my friend. My bison. Now I am here to return the favor by slaughtering you all." Her tail flicked. 

"I had no idea what you are speaking of." Tonowari looked confused. 

"Your arrows and spears were found in my bison!" (Y/n) gripped her weapon. 

Ronal narrows her eyes growling at (Y/n), "Are you calling Tonowari a liar?" She hissed inching her skimwing closer. Quaritch felt an automatic feeling inside his body. His arm instinctively reached for (Y/n) pulling her behind him. Rick's ears went back hissing at Ronal displaying his large canine teeth. 

"This man is a liar, he deserves death," Neytiri said, pointing at Quaritch. 

"(Y/n) (L/n), please listen to me. He only wishes to take Pandora for the humans. All those years ago I killed him. Now somehow this demon is back. He wants to kill me by any means. Your mate probably started this all." Jake adds. 

"Rick." (Y/n) looked up to her mate. 

"...It wasn't always about the mission." He sighed. (Y/n) whimpers ears folding. 

"Wh-what mission?" She asked in a voice barely above a whisper. Jake closed his eyes knowing this story all too well. The day he told Neytiri the truth is something that lives in his mind every second. 

"I-I didn't plan it. Until 6 months after I meet you- I fell in love. With you. (Y/n)-" He started to cry for the very first time in years. "I love you. I didn't mean for it to go this far." Rick reached for (Y/n) you slapped him sobbing. 

"How could you?! You betray me and my people. EYWA WAS WRONG!" 

"(Y/n) please we can-"

Before anything could be said the missile landed in the water. It exploded sending many Metyakian into the air. 

"DIVE!" Yelled Tonowari to the Metyakian. 

"FLY!" Cualli screamed to the Kamimaljuyú.

(Y/n), Quaritch and Balam grip the bison's fur as they fly into the air. "NO!" Rick yelled seeing a missile flying directly toward them. The bison had no time to move before getting hit. After that everything went black for (Y/n). 

…

She opened her eyes, gasping for air she did not have. "Here!" Came a gentle voice putting a mask over (Y/n) mouth and nose letting her take a deep breath. The female closed her eyes leaning against the wall. Just for a moment, she rests. Her head pounds from the explosion. (E/c) eyes scanned the room. There was Tonowari's daughter with 2 Omaticaya children who she assumed were Jake and Neytiri's children. She stood up looking around the space. "Where are we?!"

"I don't know. But it's not good." Said the Female Omaticaya. (Y/n) did not like this. They were inside some building. A human prison she assumed. She then saw herself in the mirror. On the other side (Y/n) could hear voices. 

"LET US OUT!" (Y/n) screamed, hitting the mirror and hissing loudly. She slammed her fists against the mirror over and over screaming in anger. All her pain exploded. "LET US GO!" She bared her fangs. 

On the other side stood Colonel Rick Quaritch and other agents looking at the Navi female. "Damn you really got a crazy bitch." One commented. 

Quaritch growled, grabbing the human by the neck. "Watch your tongue. She is the only innocent one here. I'll be nice once. Then I won't. Understand?" He hissed, letting the scared human down. 

"Quaritch." General Ardome states walking into the room. The female eyes the Avatar suspiciously. "I want you to convince her to give up where the bison's are. They have taken Jake Sully with them. Surely she would know where they go in times of danger. And if she doesn't, you will take us to her village and burn it down." 

He looked down, "Yes General." Quaritch salutes before making his way to their holding facility nearby. The door opened and he locked eyes with (Y/n). "Hey love." He whispered. 

Chapter 5

[fl3shm4id3n]

Bₗₒₒd ₚᵣᵢzₑ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐧, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐬𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: ʀᴇᴄᴏᴍ ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ Qᴜɪᴀʀɪᴛᴄʜ x ꜰᴇᴍ! ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

TW: friend zone, angst, angry Neytiri, throat slitting, blood, character death, crying, sad Quaritch, vengeance.

Masterlist

You knew Miles Quaritch for a couple months, that was enough for you to fall in love with the man. When he first arrived to Bridgehead with his team, you were smitten. Day and night you'd be thinking of him, then you actually began to interact with him. It felt like some kind of dream come true, you couldn't believe that he had actually noticed you, of all people.

Besides work purposes, Miles had seemed to have some kind of interest in you. Sure you had become friends, but that didn't stop you from believing you could be more than friends. The more you interacted, the more you fell for him, you also noticed he'd lead you on sometimes, it made you believe that he must have been into you like you were of him.

Then you decided to ask Miles if he wanted to be you boyfriend. You felt excited and nervous at the same time, hoping that he'd say yes. But when you had popped the question to him, he had told you that he wasn't really looking for something serious and that he wanted to keep his options open. It kind of broke your heart a bit, but you understood and decided to forget all of that, just remain the good friends that you were. As much as you wanted to hide the pain, it really hurt.

That day had gone to shit, the mission was to collect Jake and that was it, instead things changed. The ship was attacked by a tulkun, the na'vi and the RDA went into battle on the ocean, majoity of the Deja Blu team got killed, and so on. Not only that but Quaritch was not giving up on trying to get Jake. He had his daughters held captive, you didn't care if they were human or na'vi, they were kids that had nothing to do with their father's doing.

You had gone to look around, to see any survivors on the sinking ship. Instead you found he remaining passengers, dead, either stabbed or with an arrow on their chest. The ship began to sink more, you new that you and Quaritch needed to leave, forget about Jake, if you both didn't leave, you'll die.

When you went back to Quaritch, you saw Jake with his youngest daughter behind him, meanwhile Miles had his other daughter, held by her queue and a knife to her neck. "Miles!" you yelled when you got closer, then he looked at you. "You stay there!" he warned, "Miles just forget it! We have t go or else we'll fucking die!" you screamed desperately. "Nothing is over while I'm still breathing!" he hissed, he then threw the orange cuffs at Jake, ordering him to cuff himself. "You son of a bitch!" Jake hissed back at Miles was he began to cuff one of his hands.

Before you could try and reason with him, you then felt someone get a hold of you hair , pulling your head back and a large knife to be placed on your now exposed neck. It was Neytiri, when Miles looked saw her he gripped harder onto the knife on the girl's neck. "Release, or I cut" she warned him, she held you tightly by the hair and her knife on your neck, you felt cold blade slightly cut your skin. "Just let her go" I cried out in fear, hoping that Miles would listen, but he didn't. "You think I care about some woman?" he asked, you felt a pain in the heart by his confession.

Miles held the tears in his eyes and answered his own question. "Where not even the same species." He said, causing you to tear up by his painful words. Then you felt a sharp pain on your neck, then you began to cough up red. Looking down at youself you saw how blood poured from you neck like a water fall. Neytiri had let you go and stepped away from you.

Your fall felt like slow motion, you saw everyone's shocked expression as you felt. Then Miles pushed the girl away from him and ran to you, before your body could hit the floor, he got you. he got a good look at your wound, it was a huge gash and he saw the blood squirting from you throat. Not only that but you were choking on your own blood through you mask. Miles then placed his large hand on your small neck, tying to prevent more blood from spilling out. This was a cue for the small family to leave, so they left, leaving you both.

"It's going to be alright!" Miles cried out, still holding your neck as well as getting blood on himself. He held your small body close. You were still a bit conscious, but due to the blood lose, everything was beginning to look blurry. You tried to say something, but couldn't, your mouth was filled with your own blood and you felt your vocal being touched by Miles hand. Your eyes began to feel tired, the last thing that you saw was a terrified Miles who had been crying, then everything went black.

Miles watched as your eyes went shut and your heart stopped beating, he didn't care that the ship was sinking, what mattered to him right now was you. He hated the fact that he couldn't tell you the truth, that he was in love with you, but he didn't know if he was a good man for you. Instead he lied, he lied about his feelings towards you. His last words to you were basically him telling you and everyone who witness that he didn't care about you when in reality he did. He continued to hold you lifeless and bloodied body close to him, he had to leave soon, or else he'll die. But he couldn't, someone had to avenge you, and that someone is going to be him. "I will go back for him, and when I do, I'll kill him and his whole family" he said to you, he knew that their deaths weren't going to bring you back, but what he said was true, things weren't going to be over until he stops breathing.

[wan-jx]

The 7 Deadly Sins

In the first assignment, I tried to trigger the keyword “sound ecology” with a simple and effective concept, and to develop and produce a sound work around the first keyword of the course, “sound”. In Assignment 2: Self Directed (Experimental Sound) I would like to experiment with, explore and produce a second keyword — noise.

The theme I wanted to experiment with was the “Seven Deadly Sins”, as these were originally written by the Greek theologian monk Pontius Pontius Pilate, who identified eight evils that harmed the spirituality of the individual, in a downward spiral. This corresponds to my definition of noise, so I wanted to use this theme to create a sound work.

The components of the work are initially divided into three parts. In the first part, I will collect live sounds (noises) from different environments that may represent each of the evils associated with it, such as crowded subways and scientific research for greed, peaceful places for laziness, etc., either through sound collages or live recordings. Or by creating music with non-traditional instruments and electronic synthesized sounds, but also by considering the possibility of creating sculptures with sound elements embedded in them. In the second part I will create chemical reactions and chaos by mixing all the “original sins” and changing the timbre or key of the sound (or music). In the third part I wanted to create a “death” sound. A minimalist approach to the creation of vocals (maybe). The first thing that came to my mind was Sainkho Namtchylak’s “lost river” from 1991.

Noise is defined as unwanted sound. Subjectively I feel noise as a sound that causes discomfort, annoyance and pain. And that brings us to a sound piece that blurs the boundaries — lost river. In the 1990s, the Soviet Union was going through an unprecedented political and economic crisis. Tuva, where she grew up, was in an even more precarious stage: unemployed people had no place to live; supermarkets were empty, there was no food, and people were faced with poverty and famine. Poor people often queue for countless hours in the cold with tiny food stamps, just to get a small piece of bread. Shanko worked hard to earn money and try to help her family get a little food and clothing, but her parents still died of hate in such a chaotic time. She returned to Berlin with a look of sadness on her face. The producer asked her if she wanted to give vent to her inner pain through music, and she couldn’t think of any melody that could express the suffering of the nation and its people, only an extreme, tearful whine. It became an outlet for her emotions and a way for her to heal herself during her long life. The purely vocal expression tries to explain that the human voice is the container of all sounds, and this is her first attempt to make a vocal experimental album after studying vocal music in Moscow, the purpose is to record all the possible methods of vocalization and tonal expression of a person, to show the most real sound of the primitive state of life of human beings, the cry of death.

On the other hand, the musical direction of the album “The 7 Deadly Sins” by Mantra Sounds. For example, on the seventh sin, “Wrath,” a melancholic melody spans a rising bass line and brings about an uninhibited descent. Vulnerable lyricism and high-energy screams fit the tone of the song, embodying the inner rage and thirst for vengeance that human beings may face at some point in their lives. Based on the musicality, experimentation and creativity of Mantra Sounds, I was able to capture more possibilities and directions for the expression of “Original Sin”.

[missxles]

“Think you can keep a straight face if I finger you under the table?” //NickxNikki

Sexual Situations sentence starters

        Feeling a SHIVER running down her spine at his words she turned to give him the most innocent look she could manage. “Mhm…possibly. But can you?” Nikki then replied, letting her legs fall apart slightly under the table. 

[meliorist-midoriya]

to you, to the world, to my love (you’re all three)

synopsis: midoriya has always had too much love to give in a world that loved to take. you’re just hoping that he has enough left for you in the end.

pairing: midoriya izuku x reader

genre: fluff with a touch of angst

warnings: some insecurity

word count: 2.5k

notes: happy valentine’s day, everyone! this is my contribution for the pocuties server collab, based off the greek types of love, of which i had the honor of receiving izuku and decided upon agape  please help yourself to the box of chocolates they’re offering for valentine’s, there’s a wide selection of chocolates handmade by talented creators, so i’m sure you’ll find something to your taste! tbh i only managed to finish this fic because i was watching chan’s valentine’s vlive and i was in a super soft mood ;3;

extra: agápe - the ancient greek concept of selfless, universal love.

“Making his debut in the pro hero scene, Pro Hero Deku is blazing a trail straight out of UA—”

“—Pro Hero Deku solved an astounding 30 cases in the past month—”

“Deku’s popularity is skyrocketing, rivaling that of—”

“Hero Deku—”

“Deku—”

“Pro Hero Deku has swept the hero rankings to come out on top as Number 1!”

With a resolute ‘click’ of the remote, the reporters’ overlapping voices cut off as the TV screen faded away, your lonely reflection staring back at you from the blank screen. You, curled up on your empty couch, in your empty apartment with the clock striking what should have been dinner. The TV was only there in an attempt to drown out the crushing silence, the white noise—hellbent on filling the space his presence had left—was deafening.

That attempt failed.

Horribly.

If anything, it just made the sense of wrongness permeating the air even worse. 

(That TV recap of his best moments didn’t help as much as you hoped it would.)

Being alone in this apartment felt… off. As if someone had gouged out what should’ve been there, the ghost of a presence settling a chill into your bones that ran far deeper than just plain loneliness. The foreboding grief of what could be, the fear that you’d resigned yourself to the moment you agreed to follow him on this path, the selfishness gnawing at your conscience every time you saw him run out the door to save the next person, to solve the next case. 

Things like an All Might coffee mug sitting primly next to yours on the drying rack, garishly yellow “tufts” staring back at you with a cracked vengeance. (You’d apologized profusely to him that day, promising to buy him another one. He’d just smiled over his cracked cup of coffee, telling you not to worry about it for the hundredth time.)

Things like his haphazard mess of notes and scrawl spread out on the kitchen counter, the pen sitting next to the half finished page. (You’ve long since learned to leave his notes be, they’ll be tidied up once he’s done… if he’s ever truly done.)

The filled queue of movies and pile of DVDs you’d picked out together, giddy over plans to watch the next time he had a free night. (You remember pretending not to notice him trying to slip another hero documentary near the bottom of the pile, distracting you with talks of popcorn and the night that was supposed to be tonight.)

Deku. The man the world adored, clinging to his promise like a lifeline in times of need. 

Midoriya Izuku. The man you loved, who promised you the world.

“It’ll be okay, I’m here.”

His soft promise echoed both in the battlefield and in your darkest hours, a close mirror to a hero of a generation past, yet it was different. It was his own. Comforting, personal, and wholly him. The public, weak and grasping for new support, latched on to the small sliver of hope his hand offered and he just kept giving, giving, giving. It never seemed to stop, and you were scared. 

He was a man with a bleeding heart with all the love to give and more. To the civilians, to the villains, to anyone in need.

Now, you needed his promise more than ever. A reassurance whispered into reunions and the thousandth hospital visit, over fresh scars and searing kisses. A promise that he would come home. You didn’t want to think of all the times he came so, so close to breaking that promise, even before you two had made it, before you two had even promised yourselves to each other in your UA days.

You pulled the blanket a little tighter around you, staring down at your phone with no real intent in mind as you scrolled. The video playing one of his interview clips (bashfully reciting his “catchphrase,” how cute) cut his voice short as you scrolled past to move on to the next, wincing at the next tweet on your timeline. Him, battered and bloody, as he pulled a child from the aftermath of the battle he’d just won. 

You still need to wrap that new mug you got him as a gift. You still had to listen to him bounce his ideas off of you. You still had to move that hero documentary to the top of the pile. You still—

“Hero Deku saves 30 people, no casualties,” A soft murmuring of the headline shattered the silence, and you smiled to yourself, giggling at all the replies joking of how he threw himself into the fray a little more responsibly and singing their praises.

It’ll be okay.

“Ugh, those reporters are at it again.” 

At your best friend’s exasperated groan, you followed their gaze over to see— ah. 

A small swarm of reporters had worked their way into the fans crowding your boyfriend, their press badges reading every tabloid magazine on this side of the city and prying questions falling off their tongue like poison. From what you could hear over their overlapping clamoring, they were trying to dig into his private life.

Again. 

Deku, the darling of the masses, all sweet smiles and sincere words amidst his strength. Deku, the number one hero with the tightest lock on his private life, which came as a surprise to both everyone and no one.

It was a given, considering his position at the peak of hero society.

It was also a complete shock, considering his tendency to ramble into tangents that had his PR team withering.

Which seemed to help in times like these, now that you thought about it, laughing to yourself as you watched the reporters’ expressions darken in defeat the longer he continued to talk around their questions. Quite a long stretch from stiffly standing on the practice stage at UA all those years ago, frozen from nerves. You idly mused to this to yourself, taking a sip of your drink as you dragged your gaze back over to your best friend.

“Did you choose this cafe because it’s right along Izuku’s patrol route?” They stiffened, and you couldn’t help but laugh at their obvious intentions.

“Maybe, or it could’ve been just a coincidence.” The next teasing jab was halfway off your tongue when they cut you off before you could give into the urge, the words dying in your throat. “When was the last time you saw him anyway? I know you two live together but Todoroki told me he practically lives at the agency with how swamped they are. Are you okay?”

You purse your lips, staring down at the ice swirling around in your cup as you idly stirred it round. As if the sloshing liquid could whisper the answer you wish you knew.

“...Yeah.” They cocked a brow, and you took another sip to try and delay your time. “It’s not like either of us can help it. Izuku’s number one, so this was bound to happen.”

(The clamoring from the reporters grew ever louder. Persistent, that bunch.)

Their expectant (doubting) gaze was met with your own steady one, and you smiled. Whether it was out of consolation or resignation was anyone’s guess.

“We’re okay, I promise.”

You should really be getting to sleep. 

Really, you should.

At least, that’s what you’ve been telling yourself for the past several hours, tossing and turning in your bed with nothing but winter-cold sheets and a gnawing loneliness to keep you company. You know you should be sleeping when the clock on the bedside table reads an ungodly hour and there was work to be done in the morning. You know you should be sleeping when the moon disappears from the night sky and leaves you with nothing but the city lights to dimly illuminate the dark room.

You really know you should be sleeping when you hear the front door click open, Izuku shuffling around the apartment to get ready for whatever minimal amount of sleep he’d get before he had to be up and running soon after.

Despite this, sleep still refuses to come, and you don’t bother pretending to be asleep when he slides into bed next to you. Instead, you turn over and curl into his chest, stifling the guilt that bubbles up when he jumps in surprise.

“Something keeping you up?” Oh, he sounds so tired, and part of you wishes you could just make it all go away. The weight of the world rests heavy on his shoulders, and deep down, you wonder if you’re part of that burden. You curl a little closer, as if trying to smother the thoughts that crashed upon you, spilling over the crack in the dam that only widened the more you spoke.

“Jus’ a little lonely, is all.” Your voice is too quiet, brittle, and you pray to every deity that would listen that he would drop it. That he wouldn’t take on yet another burden when he was already carrying Altas’s share of the world.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

Of course, the gods are hardly ever so merciful—to them you are just another wishful mortal in the realm of the holy and damned—and Izuku’s hand rests on your cheek with a tenderness that makes you want to cry.

“...Why?” 

The confusion that falls over his expression (gaunt, tired, and God, should you even be doing this right now?) is immediate, and he tilts your face up to meet his gaze with yours, like he could find the answer in city lights dancing over your face. His thumb strokes soft patterns over your cheek—as if brushing off the layers you’d built to protect your soul—and you lean into his soft touch with a sigh.

“Why what?”

The words spill from your lips unbidden, your hesitations softened by the comfort of his touch, the sudden drowsiness, and the emotion that near overwhelms you.

“Why do you still try to do everything yourself? When there’s so many people out there, ready to support you?” His breath hitches in shock, but it’s too late to go back now. You reach up to hold the hand cradling your cheek, distantly remembering a time when he was too insecure of his scarred and crooked hands to even hold your hand.

He’s come a long way, indeed.

“I love you, Izuku. I just don’t know if that can hold up against your love for the world.” 

Something in his gaze softens, to your surprise. His smile is even softer.

“What would you do if you’re both?”

“Wh— Izuku—”

He continues, and you listen, raptured by his words spoken into the glow of the blue hour.

“Yes, I know that at the end of the day, peace and safety has to come first, but—” His smile widens into something bashful, a smile that never failed to send butterflies scattering through your heart. “—who says you can’t be right along with them?” 

He bumped his forehead with yours, smiling emerald eyes gazing into your own with such love—dizzying and overpowering and so, so warm. With the steady thrum of your heartbeat matching his, you found yourself falling even deeper once again.

“You know me, I can never compromise when it comes to what’s important to me.”

You laugh, something watery, as he presses a kiss to your forehead, temple, cheek, with a last, smiling kiss on your lips.

“How greedy.” He laughs into your lips, pulling away to hold you closer.

“Just for you.”

There’s so many things you could’ve said, as you watched the rest of the night sky fade into the deep blues of dawn. But, you decide, the comforting silence was best left as is, only broken by one resounding comfort.

It’ll be okay.

“You know, it would’ve been nice to know that you had taken the day off before I had that whole guilt spiral last night.”

“It turned out okay though, didn’t it?” He turned back to flash you that cheeky grin of his, half-hidden by his winter coat and backed by the glow of the setting sun. You just rolled your eyes with a laugh before jogging to catch up to him, slipping you hand out of your pocket to interlace your fingers with his.

“Yeah, it did.” 

The walk was silent as you two strolled down the familiar path, winding down after a whole day spent with each other. It was romantic of him, now that you thought about it, to take the whole Valentine’s Day off just for you. You hummed as you leaned onto him, giddy and content at the thought. 

In love, if you were to be so bold.

(Granted, he had to wear a mask and a cap the entire time to hide from the prying eyes of the public, but you made do.)

The sight of aged, familiar scenery pulled you from your musings, and you tugged at his hand to grab his attention, pointing at the quaint bench surrounded by bare gingko trees.

“Hey, wasn’t this the park where you confessed?” At your words, he froze and glanced over at the familiar scenery, eventually burying his face into his free hand with a groan once the old memories clicked in his head.

“Oh, don’t remind me. It’s still embarrassing to look back on.”

“What? I thought you were cute!” You laughed, nudging him to follow as you led him over to the small park, brushing off the dust to sit on the bench before patting the space next to you. Izuku obliged, and you almost automatically curled into his side, as if by habit.

“Did we really walk all the way here from the station?” His disbelieving tone made you look up at him, his expression one of nostalgic awe, before casting your attention back to the aged scenery, humming in agreement as you idly picked out what’s changed and what’s stayed in the years that have passed.

“I guess we never really forget, huh?”

“I forgot the sunset looked the best from here.”

“I hope you didn’t forget all the memories we made here.” He tore his attention from the sunset to gape down at you, scandalized.

“Of course not!” 

“Really?” He arched a brow at the teasing lilt to your voice and the mischievous grin playing at your lips, “So you didn’t forget accidentally firing an Air Force shot at me when we first met because you were training?”

He buried his face in his hands again with another embarrassed groan.

“I hoped you would forget that, at least!” You just laughed, hugging him closer as if to console him from your teasing. Before long, the atmosphere settled back into a quiet reminiscence, indulging in the nostalgia of memories past in this little park. The silence that was once deafening alone, now softened by the comfort of his presence at your side.

“We’ve made so many memories in this park, huh?” At your soft hum of agreement, he continued. Was his voice shaking? “It wouldn’t hurt to make more, would it?”

“What do you me—”

Your question cut itself short as you saw what he held out to you. 

A little velvet box, sitting open in his hand. You dragged your suddenly watery gaze back up to Izuku, his once bashful smile now wobbly with nerves. 

So familiar in this little park, yet so new.

“Happy Valentine’s Day.”

It was just a small walk down memory lane, the street lights blinking on one by one in the wake of the fiery sunset as you two walked the familiar path together. Yet there was something buzzing anew in the air, humming through your soul as you held out your hand to the sun, admiring the way the gem on your ring finger sparkled in the fading sunset. In the other, you interlaced your fingers with his.

Yeah… 

You caught Izuku’s soft gaze, smiling and in love.

We’ll be okay.

[scuttle-buttle]

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

Part of the Baron on the Run series. Also available on AO3 @  scuttlebuttle. They say that life inspires art. i was vibing while making pasta last night and viola.

Summary: You and Zemo do a little dance.

Word Count: ~1.3

Rating: T

Tags: fluff, mildly suggestive, cold war talk, mentions of child loss, indiana jones, disco, italian food, just dance reference

______________________________________________

Zemo entered the kitchen and set his coat on the back of the chair. "Evening, liebe. How was your day?"

You walked over to him. The one nice thing about being quite tall was that you didn't have to go far to reach his waiting lips. Giving him a soft peck, you hummed "it was good. I finally got to look over that set of documents from Belarus this morning. There wasn’t much that I didn’t already know in it. Although, it did confirm that the push for economic and social stability in the capital, as well as the implementation of some westernized practices, was not so that the BSSR and USSR could modernize or even compete with the west - rather it was a means to draw people to settle in Minsk instead of the countryside where it would be easier for Hydra to keep tabs on anyone they perceived to be a threat…” you continued to ramble in the most analytic jargon about the historical implications you discovered.

Helmut made himself a glass of scotch, occasionally nodding along to what you said. Running out of breath you finally stop; "anyway… enough about me."

“I like listening to what you are passionate about. You have worked hard to be so successful and so young.” You gave him a look as though you didn’t believe a word he was saying. And it wasn’t like you were that young, only a little over a decade between you two.

“How did the recon mission go?”

"It went well. I was able to get close enough to the mark to get what I needed. They make it so easy when they openly discuss their plans. You would like the cafe - perhaps later this week we will go. The agreed rendezvous is late tomorrow night; I won't wake you." For the last month Helmut had dedicated his efforts to helping you with your dissertation research. You had limited resources on Sokovia due to the rampant corruption the nation faced. Those few that you had access to Helmut would help translate.

Hands gently massaging your shoulders as he leaned over you. His cologne invades your senses. “This right here - I’m not sure what it means,” you would tell him, pointing to the passage.

Glancing over it for a moment, Helmut responded with the translation. “You know schatz, I’m beginning to wonder if you truly need my assistance, or if you just want an excuse for me to touch you,” he chuckled.

The fall of the country and subsequent annexation made matters even more challenging. Some unsavory underground groups had been smuggling documents and the like for a profit. With his background in EKO Scorpion and the intelligence community it was an easy way for him to spend his time tracking the materials. "It won't just be for you, liebe. If I can recover any of the surviving artifacts and records from before the Avengers destroyed my country it is a step towards preserving my heritage," was his justification. He wouldn't admit it, but you knew he liked being back in the field, so to speak. You also knew that the more information he had the more cards were up his sleeve.

"Don't forget to bring your hat and whip when you go," you ribbed, referencing one of your favorite film series; Indiana Jones.

"Of course... Hmm. Maybe when I get back I will have to wake you. I'm sure we could put them to better use than just treasure hunting." Helmut loved to tease you after he discovered your fondness for a young Harrison Ford. In fact, teasing and flirting with you had become his favorite pastime since your first night together.

Groaning out a laugh at his suggestive joke, you turned and headed back over to the stove. You set on a large pot of water to boil. Helmut approached the stove. "And what are you preparing for dinner this evening, liebling?" he asked, rubbing your back through your top. You knew he didn’t expect you to cook for him, but you wanted to.

"Spaghetti and a homemade sauce with spicy Italian sausage - my father used to make it when I was growing up." You stirred the simmering sauce, letting the flavors continue to marinate together.

"It smells wonderful,” he moaned. Somberly he added “I used to make a bolognese. It was the one dish I knew how to prepare. It was my son’s favorite.” You squeezed his side in hopes to offer comfort.

“You’ll have to make it for me sometime,” you request tenderly.

His lips turned up in a soft smile. “Yes I will, liebe. I'm going to go change before we eat, I will be back shortly." He kissed your temple before heading to the bedroom of the house you were occupying.

When the water boiled you placed the noodles in the pot and set a timer. Grabbing your phone off the counter you pulled up Spotify, queueing your "feeling it" playlist. The beginning notes of ABBA's Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! began. Heading to the cabinet you brought down two glasses. Picking a bottle of red wine - sweeter to balance with the spiciness of the sauce - you opened it and poured yourself and Helmut a glass each.

Hips beginning to sway to the rhythm of the music, you returned to the stove. This playlist always put you in a great mood. You continued to move to the music, singing along softly. You take a generous swig from the bottle of wine still in your hand before adding some to the sauce, stirring the pot thoroughly.

Dancing through the kitchen you sing out 'gimme! gimme! gimme! a man after midnight!" You knew you were a terrible dancer, even worse than Helmut. That didn't stop you from partaking in the activity, your hips gyrating and shoulders shimmying.

You didn't notice the movement in the hallway, still caught up in the song. Wine glass in hand, you attend to the stove to ensure the water doesn't boil over. The song eventually changes over to a Boney M classic. "There lived a certain man in Russia long ago…." Excitedly, you put down your glass. You remember the choreography like it was yesterday, middle school you always danced to the song in an old video game.

Without hesitation you clapped your hands and swung your hips to the beat. Turning you notice Helmut leaning against the kitchen door. How long he'd been there, you didn't know. Based on the amused smile he wore he clearly enjoyed watching you look like an idiot dance.

Making your way to him you reach out for his hands. Helmut followed along, albeit hesitant to move his body yet. You locked your eyes to his. Wiggling your eyebrows exaggeratedly at him, pushing and pulling his arms in time with the beat. “Come on, Helmut - dance with me!”

“I thought I was a terrible dancer? Did you not say that in Madripoor?” he interrogated without a single trace of seriousness.

“Oh you know I love the way you dance,” you giggled, still moving to the beat.

There was a glint of something in his eyes; suddenly Helmut took charge of your little dance. He twisted his hips from side to side, breaking one hand away from you to twirl you under his arm. The two of you danced like dorks, firsts pumping and hands in the air and wagging your fingers around the kitchen.

A sudden shrill from the timer stopped your movements, both bursting into fits of laughter. Turning off the timer Helmut took care of draining the pasta for you. As you caught your breath you couldn’t help but admire the man. He had spent so long seeking vengeance, yet now here he was dancing like a weirdo with you in the kitchen. His face was so relaxed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look this happy and at peace you thought to yourself. Maybe, just maybe, you had something to do with that.

“Is the sauce ready?” Helmut inquired with a lingering smile.

You took a minute to keep appreciating him before answering. “Yeah. Yeah it’s good.”

Tag list: @ay0nha​

[menaceanon]

So I have decided, for the new year, to do a book rec, since I know many folks who follow me read a lot of sci-fi and fantasy.

I read almost 50 books this year, which is about 45 more than I get through in the average year. The trick is that I started queueing up a zillion audiobook rentals on my library app (check out Libby if you haven’t already!!!) and listening to them while doing any task that uses my hands but leaves my ADHD brain free to wander, like cleaning or driving.

As a result, there are a ton of great books I could tell you about, but I chose this one. I figured I’d pick the one book from my top three that I don’t see a lot of people talking about. Because WOW do we need to be talking about it!

Now, technically, this is the first book in a trilogy, but since I devoured all three as quickly as humanly possible you can consider this more of a review for the whole trilogy.

A Crown for Cold Silver

Crimson Empire Book 1

By Alex Marshall

Summary: Thirty years ago, the dread general Cobalt Zosia and her five villainous cohorts battled epic monsters, won legendary treasures, and led a mercenary army to victory against an evil empire.

Then Zosia retired.

But when her peaceful life is destroyed, she swears bloody, bloody vengeance, and re-emerges into a world full of old friends with grudges, old enemies with dangerous weapons, and a new generation ready to raise some hell.

Review: Listen. Listen. I went into this trilogy with no expectation besides “Older woman out for revenge? Sounds like it could be fun.” I was anxiously anticipating something pessimistic, and was ready to put the book down if it seemed to enjoy the violence for violence’s sake. No hate, but that’s never been my scene.

What I found instead is maybe the most under-appreciated fantasy trilogy on the market. I mainlined all three (long!) books in a week and a half. I straight-up bought the second and third audiobooks because I didn’t want to wait my turn in the library queue.

This is epic fantasy, with sketchy sorcerers, clashing armies, and demons with unknown agendas. You’ll also never convince me it wasn’t pitched as “what happens thirty years after your DnD party full of chaotic neutral morons has their big, world-changing adventure and then walks away and leaves everyone to sort themselves out.” I’ve seen a handful of folks describe it as “grimdark,” and make no mistake—it is violent (think Witcher levels of gore, if you’re familiar), and occasionally deeply tragic. But the defining feature of grimdark, specifically, is pessimism. This is a book built on a foundation of optimism, about cycles of violence and the role we play in perpetuating them, on both a small and large scale.

Also, while I’d never classify it as a comedy, Marshall never loses sight of the absurd, and deftly turns what could have been oppressively grim into something casually and constantly hilarious.

The large cast is made up of complicated people with conflicting needs and agendas, who would all love to do the right thing, really they would, it’s just right now is not an especially convenient time. And while almost all of them are assholes I also absolutely adored every single one.

And here’s the tumblr-recommendation-style cherry on top: you know that thing where you read a book and the author tries to tell you, like, “oh sexism doesn’t exist in this world” but doesn’t actually grasp what that means and so sexism still blatantly exists? Well this trilogy says “Everybody shut up, let’s think this through carefully: What if sexism actually didn’t exist in this world, or ageism, or any stripe of queerphobia. What would that look like? How would it fundamentally change our assumptions?” (That idea is, of course, thematically relevant but I won’t dig into that now or we’ll be here all day.)

This is one of the most casually queer fantasy stories I’ve ever read. It’s not about people being queer (I love that, I do, it’s just not always what I’m looking for in a book). This book, instead, is about queer people. There are multiple trans characters. There are poly relationships. Absolutely no one is straight. And it’s just so… casual, not just in-world but as part of the writing. It’s also one of the best-thought-out looks at a world without sexism, to the point where the lack occasionally took me by surprise, like a missing step. If this is something you enjoy, I highly recommend this book.

Finally, I really really really have to recommend the audiobooks here. I’m sure I would have loved this if I’d read it, but Angele Masters elevated everything—her delivery of Hoartrap’s lines alone still make me cackle with glee. She was so flawless that I actually looked up other books she’s read, regardless of genre. My only caveat is that she depicts some of the characters’ accents. It’s always done respectfully—a depiction of what they sound like because they come from different parts of their world, sans judgement or mockery—but if that’s something you don’t enjoy, you can avoid it.

Please go read this trilogy. I need other people to come talk to me about them.

TL;DR: A bloody but inherently hopeful epic fantasy populated by complicated but lovable assholes. Read if you like badass women, complex world building, queer characters, DND.

[jemej3m]

losing your wedding ring and other hostage situation things

im having way too much fun, you will have to pry this au from my cold, dead hands 

two birds, one stone, lets GO

(tw for: violence, hostage situations, mention of recreational drugs, a bit of swearing, neil being a mouthy ass mf, mild stabbings)

*

Andrew had been having such a good day. 

Those were rare to come by: some form of disaster usually appeared, if not by mid-morning, then by lunch. A perp that was too handsy; an elderly woman shouting tireless angst at Andrew over not being able to find her precious, street-rat looking cat; a stack of overdue paperwork from the nightshift fuckers who were the worst people to exist ever. 

No: instead, Neil had woken him up with a tray of hot coffee, chocolate croissants and strawberries for their anniversary celebration (not that either of them had mentioned it), kissed the crumbs away from the corner of his mouth and lead Andrew into the shower with that damned smile of his. 

He’d driven Andrew to work (something about Allison holding down the fort), which meant Andrew didn’t have to commute and deal with the general public, or figure out where to park for half an hour. It was coming dangerously close to their rule of ‘don’t talk about work’, but Andrew couldn’t complain when Kevin had been too busy to scrutinise him upon entry to the bullpen. 

He and Renee had cracked a decent case, a burly dealer with a ‘Nittany Lions’ emblem tattooed across her collarbone had been shut away for being the primary distributor of a lethal strain of methamphetamine, and there hadn’t been a queue in his favourite subway corner store at lunch time. 

Wymack had stuck his head out of his office at about half-past two, with a quirk to his eyebrows. “They’re requesting backup at a shootout situation, up north. Change out.”

Andrew, who had just been getting slightly bored signing neighbourly complain forms, took this in his stride. Renee smiled at him as they left, always knowing more than Andrew ever let on. He hated being known at first, but years with Neil had tempered that discomfort, and having someone who knew what he needed when he couldn’t express it wasn’t half bad. 

He cut over Kevin’s music in the patrol car and let the windows down, siren tolling. There were no deaths on the scene as of yet - and Andrew had a feeling there would be none. 

It seemed as though there was where his good luck had run out for the day. 

Upon exiting the car, protocols had been adhered to, blocks were canvassed, civilians were removed, and Andrew found himself squatting behind a crumbling brick wall, Dan and Matt ahead of him, Kevin and Renee behind him. 

Dan looked around the doorway, signalled clear, and so they skirted into the small courtyard. The house in question had been the location for the shooting: how Andrew and the rest of his team had found themselves in the infiltration force was another issue entirely. 

“Sargeant, everything’s gone quiet, what’s happening?” Wymack demanded. 

“House is looking clear -” a distinct thud and Dan’s disgruntled “Oof!” had Andrew drawing out his gun once more. 

“Guns down,” came a strained voice, stepping out from behind the door with a gun held to Dan’s head. He had a ski-mask on. “Everyone put your guns down, or she dies.”

For fuck’s sake, Andrew thought, slowly crouching down and putting up his hands. Matt’s entire body was shaking, but he followed suit, Kevin and Renee copying him. 

Three men appeared: one grabbed Matt, another grabbed Kevin, whilst a third went for both Renee and Andrew. The glint in Renee’s eyes said it well enough: it wouldn’t do these fuckers well to underestimate either of them. 

But Dan still had a gun to her head, and Andrew was in no business of letting decent people die because he didn’t play along, so he let himself be shuffled into the basement of the house: there, he was shoved against one of the old, wooden pillars and tied up, hands behind his back. The rope burned against his skin. 

“Body in the corner,” Renee whispered, nudging his foot with hers. “Stripped, two bullet holes in the head. Look, you can see the Butcher cross on the back of their hand. It has to be a Bearcat.”

Andrew stared at the Butcher’s mark. His husband’s father had once liked to mark his loyalists with two gashes on the back of their hand, often with his favourite cleaver. Neil said he’d left similar marks across his father’s eyes when he’d finally brought him to his knees. The corpse in the corner had to be an older member of the Wesninski gang: Neil had changed a lot of things since inheriting his father’s syndicate. 

Gang violence was never great, nor simple, but perhaps a man who was loyal to Nathan Wesninski was better off dead. 

“Quiet!” one of the men barked, kicking Renee in the side of her head. Andrew grit his teeth as her head whipped back against the wall. 

“Search ‘em,” the other said, crouching by Dan. Identification, a spare twenty, her gun and taser and baton were all removed. When she tried to head-but him, he decided to gag her and tie said gag to the beam she was shoved against. He checked her hand for an engagement or wedding ring, of which neither Dan nor Matt ever wore during their shifts. Matt, Kevin and Renee went through the same thing, radios and guns and spare cash filched from their pockets. 

Then it was Andrew’s turn. He coiled up as soon as hands were on him, gritting his teeth. He hated sitting like a victim. He hated waiting around to be rescued. He would be able to cut through this rope somehow if he was just given a minute, but instead he was enduring hands across his arms and shoulders and back, down his legs. They didn’t find the knife in his boot - something he’d copied from Neil - but one of their fingers did catch on the silver chain around his throat. 

His eyes closed as they pulled it out. 

“Ha,” the crook sneered, snapping the silver chain and holding up Andrew’s wedding band. “Who’s the lucky girl? Doesn’t matter, I s’pose, if you never see her again.”

“You’re married? Since when!” Kevin remarked, and got a knee in the ribs for good measure. 

Andrew watched the man pocket his wedding ring and sighed. He’d have a hell of a lot of explaining to do to Neil when he got home. Hopefully his husband wouldn’t go out on a spree for vengeance just to get the ring back. Worse would be if he decided to go teaching everyone not to touch his family. 

For a few moments, the men left them alone, stomping around the house and yelling for good measure. They’d taken Dan’s radio to lay down their terms: they were no doubt in the midst of negotiation. 

“I went to the ceremony,” Renee offered in the strained silence. “It was very sweet.”

“Shut up, Renee.” Andrew muttered. 

“It’s their anniversary, today,” she added. 

He glared at her. “I hate you.” 

“What a way to spend it,” Matt murmured, looking to Dan, who was still gagged. He looked back to Andrew. “We’ll make sure you get back home to your...partner?”

“Husband.” Andrew confirmed, then mentally cursed himself for giving away such needless information whilst in a dusty basement, held hostage by some randoms who had already murdered one member of said husband’s gang. Instead, he shuffled his feet around to Renee. 

“I’ve got a knife,” he said, like she didn’t already know. He just didn’t want the others to see Renee trying to take off his shoe with her teeth when he’d just mentioned that he has a husband. She nodded, leaning down to pull at his laces, then tugging off his shoe with her knees. The knife skidded out: she kicked it back to Andrew, who flicked it into his hands. She shuffled around so that her ropes were accessible to him, and he got to work sawing. 

It only lasted thirty seconds before the men thundered back down stairs: Renee sat on the knife after Andrew dropped it to the floor. 

“They need a little more motivation,” the burliest one sneered, stomping over to Dan. “How about you, sarge?”

“You’re making a mistake,” Renee said, calmly. “I’m sure that if everyone walked free right now, we’d be able to figure something out. It doesn’t have to end badly.”

“Shut your fucking mouth,” he snapped. “God, you’re annoying, aren’t you? Not everything’s so simple, pig.”

“No,” a new voice agreed. “It’s not. But you could’ve at least cleaned this place up a bit before you made such a scene.”

“What the fuck,” the ringleader managed, just as two men dropped to their knees, hands to their stomachs. Two new figures stepped into the basement, dressed similarly. Both wore black jeans and sweaters, though one was a hood tugged firmly over their head, a bandana over their nose and mouth, whilst the other wore a ski-mask with a singular window for the eyes, long hair tucked up into a twist under the wool. 

The shorter figure’s blue eyes sought Andrew out immediately: he gave the man a quick nod. I’m alright. 

Those eyes burned like the ninth circle of hell. Instantly, Andrew knew he was safe. 

“The fuck is this?” the man said, just as another knife buried itself into the chest cavity of his third ally. “Hold on, hold on - are you repping Wesninski? How the fuck did you get here -?”

“Learn your place, Gorilla,” the shorter one said, spinning a knife around on his fingers. His counterpart - and if Andrew didn’t know it was Allison, he would’ve still been able to tell she was a woman - busied herself tying up the other three that were moaning on the floor. Gloved hands, double layered but still deft. Andrew grabbed the knife that was under Renee and kept sawing at her closures. 

“You don’t mess with a Wesninski, nor his people.” the knife was slowly raised to ‘Gorilla’s chin, just as gloved fingers reached into the crook’s pocket and drew out a small, silver band. “Too predictable with your trophies, Hawking. Dumped again?” 

The man - who was more than a foot taller than their savior and definitely double the width - roared with fury, raising up his hands. He was too late, his body slumping with a pinch to the back of his neck. 

The woman looked over to the corner, where the body was dumped, and sighed. “You weren’t the worst, Richie.”

“Definitely bad timing, A.” the man said, hopping over the unconscious body of his rival to lean over Andrew: the others looked on with intrigue as the mysterious man slipped Andrew’s wedding ring into his front pocket. 

“Go,” Andrew muttered from out the corner of his mouth. Only Renee would be able to hear. “We’ll be fine.”

“Love you,” Neil whispered back. Not a moment later, he was gone. 

“We’re we just saved by a Wesninski gang member?” Kevin wondered aloud. 

Not just any gang member, Andrew thought. Kevin would shit himself if he knew who was under that mask. 

“Stranger things have happened,” Matt said, though he was unsure. At that point, Andrew had cut Renee’s ropes free, and she set to work unbinding them all. 

Wymack was the first into the basement, fury scrawled across his scraggly brows. “Is everyone - Christ.” He looked to the four men on the floor: three stabbed and bound, still alive and writhing in pain, and one unconscious, jaw at a bad angle from where he’d fallen over. “Do I even want to know what happened?”

“I don’t think you’d believe us if we told you, sir,” Renee said, sweetly, as she cut Dan’s gag free and helped her off the floor. 

Wymack simply rubbed at his temple with one hand, the other reaching for his radio. “Four stretchers. All threats have been disengaged. Stand down: everyone is safe.”

*

Andrew felt his phone buzz as he was stood behind his desk, packing things into his bag to head home. Hostage situation aside, it’d still been a good day. 

Home now - got more ice cream and borrowed Bridget Jones’ Diary from Ally’s collection

I hate you, Andrew texted back. Heading home now - i can detour and get Joe’s thai

no, Neil said immediately. i’ve already got food being delivered. need to see u home and safe. 

Andrew felt something warm in his chest. I’ll be there soon. 

He tucked his phone into his bag, and brought out the ring that he’d kept tucked into the pocket of his pants all day, seeing as the chain had been broken. Carefully, he slid it onto his finger. It still fit, though he wasn’t sure why he’d thought that it wouldn’t. 

Across the room, Matt smiled, nudging Renee and gesturing to where Andrew had put on his wedding ring and was almost ready to leave. “The Monster has a husband.”

“Stranger things have happened,” Dan agreed, sidling up to the pair.

You barely know the half of it, Renee thought, watching her partner amble out of the bullpen, a fondness in her smile. 

*

wow. SOFT.

[hatilead]

Send ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) to walk in on my muse changing their clothes      @moonwoken​    +     dean .  

                     𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐇𝐄’𝐒 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐄       of others around him .        restricted to never knowing someone ,        always alone with the motionless spirits he calls his crew .       they do not dare step into the corridors ,       do not dare come near his cabin .      it is a lonely life ,       but it is one he has gotten used to .        loneliness makes him leave marks ‘pon well-loved wood ,         scratches until he is sure he would have bled if he still could .        𝐇𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐍 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐑𝐎𝐊𝐄𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒     ,         cast around the universe to litter like forgotten stardust .       wishing for nothing more than the divine to burn their palms on the sharp edges of himself .        

and yet ,        in the darkness ,      there is still light alike flicker of a dying flame .     candles are lit for the first time in centuries ,      and he cannot quite be sure if it is to ease the darkness for the living being who steps in ships’ hull like a stranger ,       or if it is a guide .        𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐎  𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄.        𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐍𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄      .           captain shakes it head to himself ,     releases curls from black fabric of queue             /             takes a moment to slip out of blood stained white .        an eerie reminder of a life lived before the second coming of hope .          rise from behind stone guarding cave ,      cradle cheeks in hands that know death and fear not the cold skin underneath .   

willem pretends not to hear the creak of wood ,       the darkness slipping in from cracked door .      heartbeat of a living creature .       it has always been so easy to ignore the obvious when head is stuck in the clouds  .        once upon a time he would have been ashamed .             𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐒 𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐒 .       𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐘𝐒     .          turns around to meet dean’s gaze ,          steps over discarded shirt pooled at his feet like an offering to god of death and vengeance .      does not care for the shadows cast in the corners of the room             /             does not think about the orange glow ‘pon white skin .     for once ,      he dares to dream about a tomorrow ,       and that might be the most terrifying thing of all .

❝ there are many reasons to spy on another man         ❞       eyebrow rises in unspoken challenge .      steadies hand for once as he reaches out to run a fingertip against the unfamiliar fabric of the man’s jacket         (         strange at best ,       just another riddle he cannot wait to solve .      )         ❝        but not a single one of them ever bodes well for those who are being spied on .  ❞            𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐈𝐏𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 ,       𝐃𝐎𝐄𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑       .            clings to the offered challenge with wavering resolve   .           ❝  you are more than welcome to search for clothes which might fit you ,     if you wish .     i promise i will not spy on you in return . ❞

[smolbeandrabbles]

Director’s Cut 1: Andrew ‘Pope’ Cody

“I find it difficult to find any redeeming qualities in this character. He is a person with spot on DSM antisocial personality disorder, with sociopathic traits and without the charming facade. But the mental health professional in me also sees him as neurodiverse, on the spectrum. At any rate, I can’t find any allure or menacing sexuality in him. How did you find redeeming qualities within Pope? And how the heck did you come up with a female OC who can interpret his cues and find warmth and attraction from him? I enjoy your fics about him, others I’ve read have basically torture porn.”

Wow, okay, Andrew. You’ve picked a really interesting one here. So, lets start with some background... Which I will try to condense as much as possible.

Also, for ease of talking, I’m going to give our Reader back her OC name and therefore when I refer to ‘Elaiyna’ that’s your reader character! 😁 Background I was never meant to write for Andrew Cody from the movie. My first watch of the movie left me cold and, to be honest I still find it very difficult to watch even now. (The movie is great for sure, but it’s not one I rewatch often.) Without a long explanation as to ‘why’, I watched the movie so that I could watch the US TV show version of Animal Kingdom. Which I highly recommend!

Where as Movie!Andrew I couldn’t get into at all, Show!Andrew I fell in love with. It took me one episode to come up with my OC and a decent story line.  Although I never actually wrote it out I had many plot points saved on a document for how Andrew/Elaiyna’s relationship would play out. So really, you have Shawn Hatosy to thank-! 

Who, super side note, deserves an Emmy for this. And also can someone please get him and Ben in an interview to talk about Andrew - I will beg! 

When I decided to start writing and posting for Andrew here (considering I had the plot points and we were taking the Mendos as far as we could) - I essentially wrote a mix of Show!Andrew and Movie!Andrew. Honestly tipped in favour of the show. But very recently I’ve tried to write much more for Movie!Andrew as I’m 99.9% sure that’s who everyone reading my work is reading for anyway!

How did you find redeeming qualities within Pope? 

The only real answer is Show!Andrew. I love him so much, and they explore a lot with his character - as they of course have time to, that a 1hr30 movie doesn’t - so it’s very easy to find redeeming qualities in a character that’s at a very different stage to his movie counterpart (and yet is still the same character and recognisable as the same character... Show!Andrew is the build up to the man we get in the movie, if you will.). Show!Andrew has that same... creepy/awkward vibe, but also has a lot of sweet, decent human being moments that give you his more redeeming qualities (without spoiling anything major his relationship with Lena, Baz’s daughter, is a good example). 

But also I view Andrew in the movie very differently to the way that I believe most people do. Movie Andrew doesn’t scare me. Sure, he does scary things, but to me he just comes across as very awkward. Like, he knows what a situation calls for and kinda adapts to that - or he says things because he’s like “That’s what people say in this situation right?” at least that’s how I interpret him. No matter how incorrect that is.  Like there’s no social queues in his character, he doesn’t really fit into those kinds of situations (or function well!) but he observes everything. So he knows that “If X happens, say/do Y. Because that’s what people do.” regardless of his own “feelings” etc. I don’t think he has emotional intelligence and there’s a definite disconnect between think and feel and... I guess instinct? That ‘primal brain’ thing. 

I mean I know it’s interpretation but that scene where he carries Nicky to bed and then like strokes her hair back and then tells Jay “She’s beautiful.” Doesn’t give me any other vibe other than Andrew having observed this and his brain going ‘Oh, yeah, Andrew - then compliment her to her boyfriend. That’s a thing people do.’ Just the way my brain works I guess.

The obvious follow up question would be “Okay, so you love him in the show. But you write for him in the movie. So... you gotta have something redeeming there right? Now you’re leaving Show!Andrew on a shelf? Correct - I kinda feel like Andrew has at least some ‘relationships’ to which he actually feels something. Which is why I’m reluctant to place the “Psychopath” tag on him. Look at his relationship with Baz for instance (honestly, that supermarket scene is my very favourite.) - I just get this “friends” vibe. Like real friends, maybe even best friends. Andrew cares enough about him to want vengeance (I’m not down for thinking this is just him wanting to be a criminal I genuinely think this is a reaction to losing his best friend - and arguably his stability.) And I mean, he cares about his family. Even if not in the traditional ‘sense’ of caring. 

I also want to give a quick shout out to @mandy23b​​ - as Andrew is her favourite, and conversations with her on how she views him really help me shape Andrew in my head. For example she has a lot of headcanons about how he grew up (eg: potential physical abuse) that I am happy to adopt. So, my own personal headcanons / adopted head canons about him also help to make him redeemable. 

And how the heck did you come up with a female OC who can interpret his cues and find warmth and attraction from him? 

Oh my gosh, Elaiyna. Okay, well aside from again her starting with Show!Andrew and me basically lifting their entire relationship and giving it to Movie!Andrew there’s a lot about her that I guess ‘prepares’ her for him.

First - they meet because the Cody’s case her car (...Ready For It?), assume she has a lot of money and try to rob her. She knows who he is before they form a relationship - the barrier of “oh by the way I’m a career criminal” is broken instantly.  Second - Although she’s an only child her parents have fostered a lot of children over the years (More details in ‘Flaws’) and so she’s used to a lot of siblings and the bonds between siblings. Added to this it’s not hard to imagine that some of these foster children might have had neurodivergancies of their own and therefore she’s also used to people that act like Andrew does. Third - David ( ‘Flaws’ and ‘Last Habit’) her eldest foster sibling is a Police officer, and they have a close relationship. Figure she could learn a lot from him. Both on crime/criminals and then maybe neurodivergant criminals too. He’s bound to have at least some stories that might help her. Fourth - Not to make some kind of robot comparison for our Boi here but, she works in IT. She’s the CIO for her firm. Draw your own conclusions on relationships with something/one with basically zero emotional output.

I find your comments on other fics you’ve read very interesting. Because to me Andrew just isn’t sexual. (I might be in the minority, because other fic writers I’ve talked to tend to put him in ‘physical only’ / highly sexually charged relationships) He’s never read that way to me. ‘4 In the Morning’ is the first time I’ve thought to write something that is sexy for him. Although I have alluded to sexual elements of their relationship in other fics.  Their relationship to me has always been on a quiet understanding level. He observes and learns about her and is fairly quiet about it. Elaiyna is more extroverted, but also observes and learns about him very quickly. So instead of PDA and verbal “I love you’s” they have this non-verbal communication that isn’t always physical either. Although touch sometimes plays into it.  Because that just the kind of relationship that I see him in - sex is rare, and when it happens it’s not because of this big “I love you” romantic build up - it’s spontaneous. That part of his primal brain is kicked in and it’s like “Okay. We’re doing this now.” For his character I understand the “draw” to write something like that (even though, like I say, I don’t see him being interested.) but I’m just very much a romantic... 😅 So I want to write something Romantic even for a Mendo who you wouldn’t necessarily fit into a romantic role. Their story still has “romantic” tenancies. Like it’s a loving relationship it’s just a different kind of love. I don’t feel like he would necessarily know that he loves her, or even comprehend what ‘love’ is. But he knows he feels something for her that’s very different to how he feels about other people. Which is why when Elaiyna does say ‘I love you’ it’s not reciprocated with words - and rarely with actions. She knows he loves her, even if he doesn’t know it. Their relationship is very ‘quiet’ but she knows that’s just how he is - and he will show “affection” as he deems fit and appropriate to show it. Even if - again - it’s not a “typical” way of showing it. And when he wants affection himself it’s more, “I am hugging you now on MY terms. But in 5 seconds I will walk away as if nothing happened.” He is more often enough the one to initiate anything PDA and Elaiyna will wait for him to come to her. If her read on him is *just* right then she’ll initiate, but then there’s the consequences of getting it wrong and Andrew pushing her away... I definitely base a lot of the beginning of their relationship on them just finding each other fascinating. He’s completely different to any other man she’s ever met, and he’s never met someone so interested in him that doesn’t try to change him and/or however he treats her is met more with understanding than conflict. 

I say I love all my OCs, of course I do. But Elaiyna is one I really had to think about building because of Andrew’s own personality. It had to make sense for her to be with someone like him - their relationship had to make sense and keep him (mostly) in character. So she needed to be able to interpret his cues, as you so nicely put it 😊 But I think I gave her the right tools to do this, and, with Show!Andrew she got the right base to jump from. 

I know this is super long, but I hope it helps in your understanding of how I’ve built Andrew’s relationship with his S/O! 🙏 And more importantly answers the questions you have! 

---

Thank you SO much for asking! If anyone else wants a Fanfic directors cut for any of my fics please ask! I would love to answer any questions! 🥰😘

[hejer-maomao]

Hi! Could I get hcs for Edgar and Lancelot watching their S/O die and not being able to do anything about it? I'm really in the mood for heavy angst that will crush my soul :)

The minute I saw your ask, I immediately dropped everything in my hands, and brought your request at the top of my queue, and started typing!

Your request is so perfect! It’s challenging, extremely angsty, and I am dying to write it already. 

I will be dividing this ask into two parts, one for each Suitor, starting with Lancelot. Hopefully, Edgar’s story will follow soon enough!

I felt that a proper fiction will be more suitable for your ask than HCs, so I hope you’ll forgive my deliberate change to your request.

Trigger Warning: Very Heavy Angst, mentions of Blood, Major Character Death.

If you’re not up for such angsty stories; I have other fluffy and warm ones. So go enjoy these, and allow me to crush everyone’s hearts with this.

Lancelot watching his S/O dying:

Lancelot’s eyes stung with unshed tears, yet he still couldn’t cry. 

His heart was burning with an excruciating pain, as he agonizingly struggled to breathe through the clotted blood in his mouth. Lancelot could feel the crimson liquid seeping through the deep wound on his chest, through the thick material of his coat until it gathered around him in a large puddle on the rough pavement.

Why did this happen? Lancelot desperately wanted to scream on top of his lungs, but his tongue felt extremely heavy and his mind was too hazy to form proper words. All he could do is stare at your lifeless body lying on the dirty ground not far away from him, your hand still tightly held in his.

It was supposed to be the day of your long awaited date, a day full of carefree smiles and tender kisses, so how did things turn out like this?

Lancelot knew that he was the only one to blame, but as he heard the Red Army’s soldiers footsteps echo in the narrow alleyway, all he could do was close his eyes and pray for his own death to come quickly.

It all started earlier this morning, as you both decided to use Lancelot’s rare day off to go into town and enjoy some quiet time together. You were practically glowing with joy, smile barely leaving your face as you tugged at your lover’s arm in an adorable manner to show him the small lion plushie newly displayed in your favourite store’s window. Lancelot’s eyes never left your beautiful frame, clad in a white, fluffy coat, the very one he bought you for your last birthday. How could Lancelot not smile when your warm hand was gently holding his own, your soft voice echoing in his ears like music and your happiness dissolving into the air, filling his entire being with pure joy.

The food you both shared at Lancelot’s favourite restaurant seemed to be the best you have ever eaten, half of the desert Lance ordered was playfully stolen by you, your heartfelt giggles eliciting a gentle smile from the King of Hearts as he let you pop the cherry on top of his pie in your mouth, genuine happiness written all over your features.

Lancelot’s smile; however, faltered for a few seconds as he discretely clutched his chest with his right hand. The dull pain he’s been suffering from since the morning was slowly building up to the point of actual torture. When you voiced your honest worries to your lover, Lancelot simply shook his head in rejection and got up from his seat, offering you his hand. You two have been waiting for this day for a very long time now, and Lancelot refused to ruin it for you. He has been cooped up in his office for several weeks in a row, completely neglecting you, and he promised to make it up to you through this particular date. Lancelot will not be able to forgive himself if he cut this day short just because he was feeling a little bit under the weather.

But no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the sharp pain continued to slowly spread and infect his entire body, subtly warning him of the wicked shadows that are yet to envelop you both.

You were turning around to ask Lancelot where he wants to go next, when a man violently crushed into you. You quickly bowed your head down in apology as Lancelot hurried to your side, checking if you were alright. The man, his face shrouded in darkness, half hidden behind a black hoodie, did not utter a single word in response as he continued to simply stare at you, his eyes completely devoid of emotions. Lancelot took a step towards you to block the stranger from reaching you, when the man suddenly extended his hand into his inner pocket, forcing whatever strange object was in there into your hands before walking away. You stood frozen in your spot, barely registering the man leaving as your eyes were fixed on the item in your palms in sheer horror.

It was a Black Rose.*

Lancelot immediately snatched the ominous flower out your hands and threw it away in the nearest bin before pulling you in his arms as he noticed your body faintly trembling.

“Maybe we should head back…” Your voice was shaking, eyes glossy with disturbing fear and Lancelot was almost tempted to heed your suggestion. But the minute he thought about all the work he will be trapped doing for the next few weeks, the King of Hearts decided that your date was only starting and that you both should take this chance to unwind together before things get hectic again. Gently grabbing your hand, Lancelot subtly shook his head in a futile attempt to shake away the dark thoughts swarming in his mind. Everything will be fine. There was absolutely nothing to worry about.

Little did he knew that his decision, although fuelled by his desire to see you smile, will drag you both to your inevitable death.

The rest of the day went on quite smoothly, as you took a walk through the park hand in hand, fed the few ducks swimming in the pond and enjoyed some ice cream together. Your fear; however, did not completely subside and Lancelot’s chest pains only burned stronger. 

One last look to your forced smile at the cake shop Lancelot pointed out was all it took for the King of Hearts to finally decide that it was time to head back.

If only his decision was a few minutes earlier…

Even if you tried to ask him, Lancelot wouldn’t be able to describe how exactly the next events quickly unfolded. You were taking the shortest route back to the Red Headquarters, when a sharp dizziness violently hit Lancelot, making his heart harshly tighten and his breathing almost come to a stop. His lungs burned, and his vision blurred. He could hear you screaming his name from far away as he fell into his knees, the cold ground painfully scratching his feverish skin.  

‘Poison’ was Lancelot’s first thought as his mind raced to form coherent thoughts to no avail. His condition was the least of his worries as everything started to come together in his head, triggering the warning bells in the King’s awareness, as he realizes this was only the beginning of an assassination plot.

Lancelot’s first instinct was to blindly grab around for your hand and pull you into the safety of his own arms, but in the few seconds he wasted in grasping the trap you both fell in, a shadowy figure successfully crept up to you and caught you in its rough grasp.

Your screams were instantly muffled by the man’s gloved hands. You kicked and trashed in his arms, but the more you struggled, the tighter his fists chocked your neck. Your eyes, full of tears, were glued on your lover’s body as blood started to slowly seep from his mouth, preventing him from even raising on his own feet.

Lancelot desperately tried to put all of his focus on his core of magic, but no matter how hard he tried, his strength was not good enough to conjure even the simplest spell. He coughed more dark, crimson blood into the cold soil, his heartbeats beginning to drop to a slow, deadly speed.

He continued to watch as the man tightened his fists on your fragile neck, a disgusting grin twisting his face as he took pleasure in your futile struggle. You painfully wheezed, gasping for your stolen breath, repetitively hitting your attacker’s chest and arms, fresh tears streaming down your face in pure terror.

You kept your eyes on Lancelot, who was now crying in agony as he brutally forced his body to inch closer to you, arm stretching to reach your hand.

As you felt your final breaths leave your body, your now lifeless arms falling to your side as the man repulsively threw you away, a bored look replacing his previous joyful expression.

The King of Hearts gazed at your body, tears frozen in their sockets. His gaze fell to your chest, not registering any breathing movement. Memories of your smile few hours ago soon flooded his head in denial. Your soft arms holding him close, eyes twinkling in delight each time he kissed your cheek, your gentle fingers caressing his face wherever he was feeling tired from endless meetings and non-ending paperwork.

He remembered the soothing feeling of your lips and the warmth of your embraces, but all these beautiful memories were slowly tainted with ugly blood splatters, hiding your smile and burying your laugh.

An animalistic scream was lodged in Lancelot’s chest, tearing his heart into shreds, gnawing on his sanity, as footsteps grew nearer behind him.

The assassin’s dagger glittered in the fading light of the sun, before it found its way to Lancelot’s chest, piercing through in one clean hit .

Sensing his near death, Lancelot used his last remaining strength to weakly reach out for your hand, darkness soon enveloping his entire world.

‘I’m sorry, darling. I should have never allowed myself to love you in the first place. Maybe that you would have kept you alive.’

Lancelot’s eyes never opened again.

(* A Black Rose is a rare flower which symbolizes death, sadness and farewell. In a romantic sense, black roses are rarely given to a loved one as they stand for tragic love. Black roses are also a symbol of hatred and revenge. When sent to an enemy, it is representative of the feeling of vengeance.)

… In my defence, I did not plan on killing Lancelot, I just went with the flow.

I hope you enjoyed the first part off your request! This was extremely challenging for me, but I definitely enjoyed every second of it.

Angst is my guilty pleasure, so please do not hesitate to send me more similar requests!

My Ask Box is still open for the moment, so make sure to make the most out of it! I’m looking forward to your Asks!

[missxles]

💓 for a heated kiss //Ferg and Lexi

KISS SYMBOLS

   They should have been in their OWN hotel rooms, getting some rest, but this? Oh this was a much more interesting way to spend the time, or so Lexi thought. From the way his hands were roaming her body, however, she assumed that he thought the same.

   Pinned between him and the hotel door she SMIRKED as they pulled apart for air eventually. Her pupils blows wide Lexi let her tongue dart out to lick her lips.

       “Missed me?”

[ibroughtthisonmyselfpixels]

Replies for the Third Batch

SoS 21

@toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Eden Lee: “…it’s almost time, isn’t it? Can I…? Before I go?” Lorelei:...”

im only crying a little

Like I said at the time: coming from you, the stoic, that is huge

@autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “I- I mean, if we step back, there is a lot to be happy...”

im waiting til queue end to read thru (i get overwhelmed and forget stuff if i try to read while it's coming out for long queues) but i read this and it really struck me how comfortable lav has gotten and im!!!!! so happy!!!!!! and youre writing her such justice and im. aaaaaaaaa

aaaaaaaaaaaaa I am so happy I’ve been doing her well! but then you already know that cus I’ve been consistently glad you’ve said so through so many of these episodes and as the end gets closer I only continue to get more relieved that I’ve allowed her to grow while still being the same Lavandar we love. Especially cus -

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “C’mere?”  Lavandar: *moves into Lorelei’s arms gratefully* ...”

oh that. caught me off guard right in the heart sdjgj

I told you (well, I told melien) that writing Eden Lee made me cry? Yeah, this too

@harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “Lyra: “Oh my god- Lorelei!!”

Oh shit

harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “*THWACK* Lyra: “Oww!! L- Lethe, you s- sonnuva… bitch…” *thud*”

Oh /shit/

toxoplasmajuice replied to the same:

oh SHIT

Three degrees of shit-aration

That was terrible I apologize

autistichatkid replied to your photoset “Then, maybe - maybe - we’ll finally be free.” – End of Episode 21 –”

im :o

@bountifulberries replied to the same:

ahh!!!!

We are so CLOSE to the truth I can taste it. tastes like grilled cheese

autistichatkid replied to your post “Episode 21: Appoggiatura Credits”

mmmmmmmm im suddenly scared that eden lee caught up im trying to fight the urge to check last ep's scores bc i dont wanna spoil it but. fear 

god the restraint I am having to exert on myself right now to stop myself confirming things one way or the other,,,,

bountifulberries replied to the same:

the suspense in this episode was AHH!! so well done. you've done such an awesome job writing this, i could never have pulled it off. so excited (and nervous!!) to see how it goes!!

Thank you so much!! 

A lot of people already know this, but I don’t think you do and I cannot lie to you - SoS 22 is something I’ve been looking forward to writing Since The Fucking Beginning. As it’s gotten nearer and nearer to being a reality, I’ve, like. Vibrated?? out of existence?? Because there’s a lot in there that I want you all to see and react to and AAA! And, like I said or think I said yesterday, cus I’ve done a decent to good job retaining my pace so far, things are currently looking definitely on track for a timely 23rd to 25th release for this finale, so you’ll be able to see exactly what’s gotten me so excited very very soon! I hope to god the result meets all of your expectations! 

AR 45-51

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “And, of course, a lot of kicking of balls and bags well into the...”

it's a bag if you cut open the stitches and spill all the beans out onto the floor

Well I mean yeaaaaaaaaah but

harmoniouspixels replied to your photoset “The ice cold fear returns with a vengeance, freezing what once drowned...”

😨 

toxoplasmajuice replied to your photoset “Sophie: “Oh Mama, Bibi… I’m in love!!” ”

🤔🤔🤔

only three replies including the bag one but the concern is palpable my friends

[roseisread]

My Year in Movies: Favorite Non-2018 Feature Films (Part 1)

I watched a LOT of movies this year. At last count, I had logged 229 features and 126 shorts; and that doesn’t count rewatches--only movies that were new to me.

I set a few challenges for myself as well this year. The first one was to watch at least one non-English language/US release per week--this exposed me to so much world cinema and some really amazing filmmakers. Anyone who avoids foreign films because “I don’t like subtitles” is really missing out, and I found myself craving these narratives from voices I don’t ordinarily get exposed to in my everyday life. 

Other personal challenges: Watching as many horror movies as possible in October (with horror defined pretty loosely so I could include entries from silent era and onward, as well as some comedy cult classics that have horror/thriller elements); participating in Noirvember (in addition to attending Noir City in Chicago); crossing off some major blindspots from my list (such as Bicycle Thieves, The Producers, Lethal Weapon, A Few Good Men, Grease, Home Alone 2, Brazil, and Indiana Jones & the Temple of Doom); and trying to watch movies and short films from every decade that motion pictures have existed.

In 2019, I hope to do similar personal challenges with a focus on movies made by women, LGBTQ+, and people of color, in addition to filling in the gaps of my classical/canonical movie knowledge. 

OK, so that’s enough preamble. Let’s get to the list! For this list, I’m excluding movies that were released in 2018--that’s coming but this is for movies released before that. 

50. Linda Linda Linda (2005, directed by Nobuhiro Yamashita, country of origin: Japan)

High school girls recruit the Korean exchange student (Doona Bae, of Cloud Atlas and Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance) to join their rock band a few days before the school talent show. This is just a feel good film, recommended if you enjoyed the likes of Sing Street, We Are The Best!, and The Runaways. Unfortunately, it’s out of print in physical form; but last I checked someone had uploaded it to YouTube so you might want to get on that before it’s removed. You can watch the trailer here.

49. The Blue Dahlia (1946, directed by George Marshall, country of origin: US)

This film noir stars Veronica Lake and Alan Ladd, and like any good noir, it deals with dark subjects including murder, blackmail, political corruption, and PTSD. It’s been on my watchlist for a long time, and thanks to Noir City Chicago, I got to see it on the big screen at the Music Box Theatre. For small screen viewing, you can catch up with it via rental on Vudu, Amazon, iTunes... the usual suspects. 

48. Siren of the Tropics (1927, directed by Mario Nalpas and Henri Etievant, country of origin: France)

My dearly departed Filmstruck had a spotlight on the films of Josephine Baker, and this was among them. I fell in love instantly with the lively, beautiful Baker, here playing a woman named Papitou who deals with some super scummy dudes but manages to be herself in the face of all that nonsense. Silent films can sometimes be tougher to engage with for modern audiences, but this one flies by and contains some unexpectedly racy sequences for the time. Its racial politics don’t meet today’s cultural standards, but considering Baker’s parents were former slaves and their daughter went on to become the first woman of color to star in a major motion picture, this is still a landmark film worthy of our consideration. She broke down many barriers and contributed a great deal to both the entertainment world and the Civil Rights movement, and this serves as a nice entry point into her career. It’s available on DVD through Kino Lorber, and hopefully one day soon it’ll pop up on another streaming service that carries on the Filmstruck legacy.

47. I Don’t Feel At Home in This World Anymore (2017, directed by Macon Blair, country of origin: US)

Here’s a film that goes to some unexpected places. I had no idea what to expect from Macon Blair, who frequently appears in the movies of Jeremy Saulnier; but in his debut feature for Netflix, he pulled out all the stops. Hilarious, violent, and intense, with memorable performances from stars Melanie Lynskey and Elijah Wood, this is a movie about getting in over your head and just going for it anyway. I don’t want to tell you about the plot because it’s best discovered through watching--just go to your nearest device and add it to your Netflix queue. 

46. Song of the Sea (2014, directed by Tomm Moore, country of origin: Ireland)

Absolutely gorgeous animation from the team that previously brought us The Secret of Kells, and a touching story that combines family and mythology. I adored this one. Watch it on Netflix or rent on the usual streaming sources--for a preview, click here. 

45. Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I always watch Independence Day on the Fourth of July; but in 2018, I decided to mix it up and cross this patriotic musical off the watchlist. I’d seen James Cagney’s gangster movies like White Heat and The Public Enemy, but seeing him sing and dance was a whole new joyous discovery. This movie is entertaining, funny, touching, and full of iconic sequences that other films would go on to borrow from. I absolutely loved it. Pretty sure I saw this on Filmstruck originally, but since that’s no longer possible you should be able to find it at your local public library or you can rent it for a couple bucks on Amazon, YouTube, iTunes, and the like. 

44. The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950, directed by Felix Feist, country of origin: US)

This tightly wound noir thriller pits brother against brother against the backdrop of 1950s San Francisco. Lee Cobb plays an aging bachelor and an accomplished police detective who falls for the wrong dame. His younger brother, played by John Dall (Gun Crazy, Rope), has just joined the police force and idolizes his older brother. Trouble strikes when the dame murders her no good husband and needs help from Cobb to cover it up. Naturally, Dall gets assigned to the case and as he begins to piece together the clues, he doesn’t like where they’re leading him. The climactic sequence is one of my favorite endings to a noir film, and I’ve seen a lot of them. Watch it for free if you have Amazon Prime; otherwise, there are a few versions uploaded to YouTube of varying quality or you could wait for it to pop up on TCM. 

43. Los Angeles Plays Itself (2003, directed by Thom Andersen, country of origin: US)

This documentary edits together clips from movies of every era that were filmed or set in Los Angeles, and explains through voiceover narration the significance of each location and the history of the motion pictures in LA. That’s it--very simple concept but also fascinating. I split this up over a couple nights because it’s pretty long, but if you’re a film fan or a Los Angeles native, this is well worth your time. The voiceover is kind of hilariously flat in its delivery--kind of a Steven Wright sound actually--but that sort of adds to the charm for me. Get a taste by watching the trailer, and then you can rent it on YouTube for $1.99.

42. A Simple Plan (1998, directed by Sam Raimi, country of origin: US)

It’s been almost two years since we lost Bill Paxton; I don’t know about you but I don’t think any other actor can really fill those shoes. This year I caught up with three films that showcased his talent: A Simple Plan, One False Move, and Frailty. He plays very different characters in each one but in many ways they all start off with a similar premise: Ordinary guy dreams of becoming more. What that “more” is for each character is what sets each film and performance apart, but Paxton provided a great canvas to paint these unique characters onto. He inhabited the ordinary man better than just about anyone. 

In this film, which I watched during Noirvember, Paxton plays Hank, a college-educated guy working a blue collar job in a small town, trying to make a better life for himself and his family. He’d like to get away from those small town roots, but his socially awkward brother Jacob (Billy Bob Thornton) relies on him. Unfortunately, Jacob is often accompanied by the hard-drinking loose canon Lou (Brent Briscoe). When the unlikely trio discover a crashed plane in the woods containing a suitcase full of cash, they each have ideas for how to handle the situation. Of course things escalate from there, and the way the movie explores human nature and family ties set this story apart. Available for online rental on the usual platforms.

41. The Iron Giant (1999, directed by Brad Bird, country of origin: US)

Given my obsession with Vin Diesel in the early 2000s, it’s pretty shocking I never saw this movie til now--sure, he and his glorious muscles don’t appear on screen, but he does provide the voice of the title character after all. When the Iron Giant made a controversial cameo in this year’s film adaptation of Ready Player One, I decided it was time I saw the source material for myself. 

This gorgeously animated fable unfolds during the Cold War era, and features an ET-inspired story arc of a young boy befriending an unlikely being that the government is looking for. If you’ve never seen it, this is definitely a must-watch. Currently available on Netflix, but rentable on other platforms too.

40. The Unsuspected (1947, directed by Michael Curtiz, country of origin: US)

I adore Claude Rains, star of this film and supporting actor in Curtiz’s more famous work, Casablanca. Here, he plays the host and narrator of a popular radio show that revolves around tales of murder--basically the Law and Order: SVU of its day. We learn early on that he sometimes draws inspiration for his broadcasts from real life criminals. When people in his own life start dropping dead, the plot thickens and he finds himself at the center of the action. A very suspenseful and well-plotted film noir, which is available from the Warner Archive collection on DVD. I got to see it at Noir City Chicago, and loved every second of it. 

That’s all for this entry--stay tuned for part two of this list, posting soon! 

[fedorasaurus]

Domestic Ship Headcanons

Question source: http://gabetastic.tumblr.com/post/45754507464/collating-all-the-domestic-ship-memes-together

I’m doing this for SodomRolento first, but feel free to ask me about any other ships to answer these for! Obviously these are my own personal headcanons and tend to stray toward silliness, so take my answers with a grain (or box) of salt.

Who’s more dominant: Rolento, 1000000%. I'm fairly certain that “dominance” is one of his canon character traits, although I also like to imagine that he softens on that when he's really comfortable with someone he trusts, indulging in submissiveness.

Who’s the cuddler: Sodom. He just looks like he gives great hugs.

Who’s the big spoon/little spoon: I imagine that it varies. Rol probably likes the security of being the small spoon, but on the other hand, there's also something really sweet about the physically smaller one being the big spoon.

What’s their favorite non-sexual activity: Watching anime. Rol wasn't into it at first, but Sodom eventually got him hooked on some action-packed magical girl shows (Rol admires that the protags are so beautiful and strong).

Who uses all the hot water: Rolento sometimes... zones out while he's in the shower. Sodom doesn't mind being stuck with the cold water, though; he thinks it helps him hone his focus and warrior spirit. Of course, this all assumes that they aren't showering together...


Most trivial thing they fight over: "Why do you wear your armor in bed?" "Why do you wear your GRENADES in bed?!"


Who does most of the cleaning: Rolento is pretty filthy and rugged as a person, but he's also really into keeping things organized and efficient. Also, clutter stresses him out. He can't believe Sodom lives like this.


What has a season pass on their dvr/Who controls the netflix queue: Sodom has a Crunchyroll account for sure. But also any sort of service on which he can watch his favorite old samurai movies, assuming he doesn't already have them on VHS or DVD/Bluray.


Who calls up the super/landlord when the heat’s not working: Both of them seem like the type to try to fix things themselves, but if it came down to it, Rolento would make the (hopefully not too threatening) phone call.

Who leaves their stuff around: Sodom. In fact, this is pretty much canon. Have you SEEN his stage?


Who remembers to buy the milk: Rolento. He takes this mission very seriously.


Who remembers anniversaries: They're both pretty good about this, especially with something like "the anniversary of when we blew up the Shadaloo base and drove off into the sunrise together."


Who cooks normally: Sodom, 100%. His cooking is probably the only Japanese thing he's good at. Otherwise Rolento is out there hunting squirrels and eating uncooked instant ramen.


How often do they fight: All the time, if we're talking about combat training. As far as arguments, I don't know, all of the Madgears are odd birds, so I imagine that they're mostly used to each others' quirks at this point. Maybe the occasional outburst after a bad day, but nothing that can't be resolved!


What do they do when they’re away from each other: If Rol is out of town on a mission or something, Sodom texts him every day with lots of haikus and emojis to convey how much he misses him. Rol isn't really big on mobile communication, but he might have one of his soldiers discreetly check in to make sure that things are okay at home and Sodom's business.


Nicknames for each other: Sodom calls Rolento "Rol-chan" or "Show Gun." Rolento pretty much just uses "Blood Brother," but if he's feeling extra romantic, he might tell Sodom that he's his "handsome and competent samurai man."


Who is more likely to pay for dinner: Probably Sodom, being the one with a fierce sense of honor and a legitimate source of income.


Who steals the covers at night: Sodom. Rolento can tolerate a lot of discomfort, so he doesn't really mind, and of course this is always a good excuse to initiate spooning.


What would they get each other for gifts: Rolento gets Sodom authentic Japanese swords or other equipment, which may or may not have been stolen from a museum. Sodom gets Rolento really cute cell phone charms, which he pins to his uniform like it's a goddamn medal.

Who kissed who first: Rolento, and he was nervous as hell. It was one of the few times that Sodom has seen him flustered.


Who made the first move: Rolento, though he ended up having to make a lot more moves after that because Sodom was so oblivious.


Who remembers things: Rolento remembers a lot of things that he would have preferred not to, but I guess in the context of a relationship, Rol is pretty good at keeping up on things as long as they stick to a solid plan/routine. Sodom is more good when it comes to improvising.


Who started the relationship: Rolento initiated the friendship way back when Sodom first joined Madgear and Rolento thought that his whole "urban samurai" thing was just a street fighting persona. By the time he realized that that was actually literally Sodom's THING, they were already too smitten with each other to back out.


Who cusses more: ROLENTO FUCKIN' SCHUGERG. Although, Sodom can be heard screaming in broken Japanese obscenities whenever someone messes with his truck.


What would they do if the other one was hurt: If it's during a fight or something, Rolento would tell Sodom to tough it out, but then immediately take down the person who hurt him with sort of an overkill vengeance. If Rol was hurt or got into a dangerous situation over his head, Sodom would shield him with his body and try to intimidate the enemy away using his size and spectacular fighting moves. Rolento has the most first-aid skills of the two of them, but if it's a situation of emotional pain, Sodom is the most patient and comforting one. Rolento doesn't cry in front of anyone else.

Who is the dirty talker: ROLENTOOOOOOOOO

A head canon: Being that it's Halloween at the time of writing this, here's a domestic Halloween headcanon: All the neighborhood kids know that Sodom & Rolento's house is like... the best, because those guys give out fancy Japanese sweets, and sometimes Sodom gets really hype over the kids' cosplays. Rolento has seen enough real-life horrors that he can't get very festive for spooky Halloween fun, but he respects that at least the youths are going door-to-door for candy rather than getting into trouble... for the most part. He does, however, attend Halloween parties with his Madgear buddies every year. Sodom helped him make his vampire alt costume, though the exploding skulls, he did himself.