#;; anyway im finally content getting her and her acc

[navxry]

WIFE ACQUIRED

[incorrect-miraith-quotes]

(A/N yes, this is an incorrect quote acc but I can write actual good stuff too 😳)

Drinks and Sunsets

7:00 AM (3 hours before the match starts)

“Renee!! Wake up please, there is breakfast!” Natalie shouted at the closed door infront of her. Renee had fallen asleep at an ungodly time trying to find out more about herself and well, it didnt work out the way she wanted. She groaned, squeezing her eyes tight while moving her arms up. She stretched and eventually popped her shoulder which caused her to scream but not really scream if you understand what I mean. She cursed at herself for not going to sleep earlier knowing that there was a game today. She sat up, shading her eyes from the window that shown the bright sun. Her head turned to the door when she heard knocks coming from the other side. “someone’s there” Renee’s voices whispered, echoing throughout her ears. “No shit sherlock,” She hissed.

“Wra- I mean Renee~ wait no- sorry. Renee are you gonna eat?” Elliot sputtered, clearing his throat. “Depends on what it is,” She sighed. “It’s uH..pancakes I think? I dont know, Ramya was chosen to be the one who cooks today. They looked..burnt,” He explained, shuddering from the thought of Ramya’s pancakes. “I guess, give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll head out. Wait for me?” Renee asked, getting up and walking to her dresser. “Uh..yeah, yeah I’ll wait for you. Dont worry about a thing..you worried cause I’m not..haha..ha..,” Elliot trailed off, sliding down to the floor until he hit his arse on the concrete. Renee chuckled to herself in his stupidity and got dressed. She wore a black tank top with short grey shorts and her black sneakers with her ankle high socks (black of course). She unlocked her door and peered over to the tall man crouched next to her door, falling asleep.

“Wake up Elliot, I thought I was the one to wake up hm?” She flicked his forehead, causing him to rub the spot where he was hit. “Ow ow ow- Why??” Elliot questioned, confused as to why he was hit. “You were gonna start drooling so..anyways, breakfast?” Renee pulled him up, almost falling backwards. “I mean that’s why I’m here right? Right? i hope Im right..,” Elliot trailed off again, starting his journey towards the kitchen with the small woman behind him. Everynow and then he would peek back to make sure she was still there and not inside a portal. “You’re safe with him” Renee looked up at Elliot, the voice echoing throughout her mind. “You like him dont you” Renee looked up at the ceiling and scrunched her face in annoyance, internally screaming at the voices. “I don’t, you guys always assume things,” she whispered, looking at the random framed pictures hung up on the wall. “Elliot!” Renee shouted at the still walking man. He jumped slightly and flinched, “y-yeah? What’s up?” “Kitchen is right here doofus,” She nodded her head towards the room, “How did you manage to miss this big ass room??” “I guess it was an accident, never done that before haha,” He sighed and apologized. The so called pancakes were sitting on a top of a white ceramic plate, getting colder by the minute. “I wouldn’t even dare to try them..I mean you could but- It probably wouldnt be good..,” He walked over to the counter, “If you want, I can cook somthing up for you?” “That would be nice thank you and uh..can you make me some coffee? You know how I like it already,” She sat down at the large dinner table, laying her head down. “Yeah I can do that for ya, anything you want in particular?” Elliot asked but was met with silence. He peeked over and saw she was sleeping soundly with her head in her arms. Elliot took off his sweater and draped it over her shoulders then went back to the kitchen.

8:37 AM (1:30 hours before the match starts)

“Breakfast is ready Renee,” he shook her gently until she stirred, “Mornin’ beaut- I-I mean um..sleepyhead..? Yeah..that’s the word..sleepyhead.” “Mmm..mor-“ She clears her throat and rubs her eyes, “morning..sorry I fell asleep I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” She looked down at the scrambled eggs and toast that were neatly placed onto the plate infront of her. “It’s fine, I didnt wanna bother you because I thought you’d kill me,” He admitted, taking off the apron that was tied around his waist. He placed it on the hook next to the fridge where a stickynote was left by Octavio not to touch his jello. The only person he let touch his stuff was Natalie. Renee picked up the fork and began eating. “You should date him” “No,” She whispered, furrowing her brows as she picked up a piece of egg with her fork. She watched as the tall man made her coffee just the way she likes it; black with a little bit of sugar and creamer. She was never one to like sweet coffee like everyone else. He poured the jug’s contents into her prefered mug. He added the little things she liked and carried it over to where she was sitting. She thanked him with a small, almost unnoticable, smile. Renee sat there with her cup close to her nose, smelling the bitter coffee aroma. She cooled it before sipping it slowly, enjoying the taste of her morning coffee.

“Hey Elliot, do you know what time it is?” She questioned the other who was washing the pan. He checked his phone and replied, “8:52” Renee stood up and brought her plate to the sink after she was done eating. “Could you wash these for me? I need to freshen up in my room,” She handed him the plate, “thanks.” She started making her way towards her room; which consisted of one right and a lot of walking straight. But she never got tired of it since she was happy she lived comfortably with her friends. The 2 rooms that were next to hers were Natalie’s and Ajay’s. The boys were on the opposite side so in front of her was Elliot. The hallway she lived in held 6 legends at a time 3 girls, 3 boys. Renee’s hallway had Ajay, her, and Natalie and then Octavio, Elliot, and Tae. The others had their hallways, some with empty rooms for future legends. Natalie was never really in her room since she was always with Octavio. It was weird, seeing two polar opposites living together. Then there were Ajay and Tae, she managed to make friends with him. I’m pretty sure Tae is still annoyed but is warming up to her.

“Oh! Youre awake finally,” Natalie smiled, walking out of Octavio’s room, “You never woke up so I had to get Elliot to help me..” Renee stood there at her door with the key in the slot, “Yeah, Ive just been...thinking.”

“Hm, well I hope you get some more sleep. Oh and goodluck with the match today!”

“You arent participating today?”

“Non, Ive been feeling unwell for the past few hours”

“Why aren’t you in bed then?”

“Well, Tavi was getting Ajay but he hasnt come back yet”

“You should be resting Nat..”

“Im okay I swear! Pas besoin de s'inquiéter,” She smiled softly and weakly. She was still in the large shirt Octavio gave her to sleep in and pajama pants. She had a small nessy plush tucked into her elbow, being squished tightly. “Chica! Get back in the bed right now or else im going to llevarte allí yo mismo,” Octavio came back with soup and meds, shouting at the sickly girl. “Ah, Tavi.. Je suis désolé I was just wondering where you were.,” She hugged the plush closer to her fragile body. “Come here conejita, lets get you better,” He lifted her up into his arms, still carrying the supplies Ajay had given him, “When you are done being sick I am going to....”

“Lovebirds,” Renee sighed and closed the door to her room, preparing for the match ahead of her. She got her battle gear on and re-did her messy bun into a neat one. Her kunai rested on the counter, untouched in its holster. She picked it up and unsheathed it, smiling at the small sparks of void that emitted out of it. She put it away and hooked the holster to her belt. “You know you wanna be like them, you cant deny it” The voices teased. “You guys really want me in a relationship huh,” Renee flopped backwards onto her messy bed. She didnt have time to make it in the morning but now she can. She checked her phone and scrolled through her social medias. Elliot made her download them and every now and then, Elliot will make her post a picture or something. She always got tagged in fanart and random posts about her in the matches. She would occasionally like some and they would freak out and thank her. She scrolled through her tagged until she came across one post. It was fanart of her and Elliot, sitting together with their hands intertwined watching the sunset. Renee blushed slightly at the art. She saw that Elliot had already liked it, but seeing as he likes all posts that he got tagged in, it wasnt weird. She hesitantly liked it and turned off her phone. “Maybe I do like him” Her thoughts were interupted when someone knocked at the door.

9:34 (couple minutes until the match starts. The ship still has to arrive at the arena, World’s Edge)

“Renee! Get yuh ass over here ‘cause the match starts soon!” Ajay’s voice boomed through the door. Her footsteps could be heard on the other side as she walked away. Renee stood up and stretched while walking towards where Ajay just was. She opened the door to see Elliot walking out of his room. “Oh hey Ren..can I call you that? Im gonna call you that..anyways, hi. Wanna walk together?” She nodded, “Okay cool, lets start heading over before everyone leaves without us.” They walked in a comfortable silence over to their friends. Octavio was in a corner moping since he didnt have his love interest with him while Crypto spied on him from another corner. He was still mad that Nat rejected him a few weeks ago to be with Octavio. It was crazy hearing that he was sulking around in his room for hours on end. But back to the main girl in this story, Renee sat down on one of the couches that sat in the middle of the room. Everyone was ready to board the dropship to head over to the arena. Here is what was going around, Gibby and Ajay were laughing together,Octavio was..unenergetic for once, Tae was in the corner, Loba was fixing her nails while Rev watched her on the wall, Alexander was playing around with his gas, and lastly Ramya was chewing gum while playing on her phone. It was always bustling in the living space because its where everyone socialized other than the bar. A small yet loud alarm was sounded to let all the legends know it was time to board the dropship.

“Woo-hoo! It’s finally time to go,” Octavio said unenthusiastically. Everyone walked in one-by-one or in pairs. They all strapped up in their skydiving equipment and was prepared for the long drop ahead of them. Renee stood next to Elliot’s room in the ship while the others either went to their rooms or sat in the middle. (Reference back to the season 3 trailer for room placement) Renee was flippping her kunai peacefully while Elliot rambled about something in his room. She enjoyed listening to him talk about nonsense while the quiet humming of the ship was surrounding them. It was peaceful, atleast to her. It blocked out most of the voices and when she was around Elliot they seemed to shut up and occasionally tease her. The drop ship shook a bit and Elliot tripped a little but caught himself. Renee didnt mind turbulence since she didnt really care about anything really, she tenses up a bit sometimes but thats about it. Her scarf end swayed as the ship lowered slowly. Suddenly the screens flashed on and displayed everyone’s banners. Everyone gets a chance to customize and submit their banners to headquarters. The teams were as listed,

Lifeline, Crypto, and Gibraltar

Octane, Caustic, and Bloodhound

Mirage, Wraith, and Loba

Revenant, Pathfinder, Bangalore

Rampart

Everyone stood on their respective platforms also known as where the screens flashed their names. The champions were shown not even a minute later, Wraith’s team was shown and she said a voiceline to taunt her enemies of the day. The metal shifted under their feet and lowered slowly, revealing the bright, cold arena. Everyone at this point was used to the cold though, they were glad it was world’s edge because kings canyon during those months was scorching. Comms were switched on and everyone tested out the mics. Everything was set up and ready to go so teams started dropping towards their locations. Wraith was jumpmaster and pinged on the map, Fragment West. Everyone knew both of Fragment was dangerous and it was hotdrop that game too. You can bet that there were multiple death boxes surrounding the small yet large area. Wraith was already kill leader with 7 kills from the popular spot. Bullets were heard in the distance and Wraith portaled to gain some speed while Loba teleported and Mirage had to run. He wasn’t a running person for long distances so he just took wraith’s portal.

“W- Wait up you two! I dont have a movement ability!!” He cried out to the two girls. The two looked at eachother and giggled while looking back at the energy drained man. “Danger move” Wraith looked around and pinged an enemy and phased away out of danger. Again, Loba teleported away and Mirage was left alone to run away. They hit him good but he managed to get behind cover. Wraith lended him some shield cells and syringes and shot at the other team with her sentinel. The other team was Octane’s team and they were stacked; Octane had gold armour while his teammates had red evo. Octane also had a peacekeeper that he got from a carepackage just next to them. It was a long fight, from gas being thrown on them to the ring closing in on the two teams. They had been fighting for so long they didnt even realize that there were only 3 teams in total left. Wraith’s team, Octane’s team, and lastly Pathfinder. I would say Pathfinder’s team but his teammates died and the banner timers ran out, he was left solo.

“Everyone try to watch your backs, the robot could try to ambush one of us,” Loba turned to face her teammates, occassionally looked up and around for the tall simulacrum. “Spotted him, up there. He has a longbow and what seems to be a flatline on his back. I could snipe him down if that’s what you want,” Wraith calmly called out, pulling out her sentinel and charging it. “Go ahead beautiful,” Loba replied. In an instant, a loud, charged sentinel bullet was shot and killed the robot up on the hill, instantly eliminating him. Now, it was just Octane and Wraith’s teams left to fight. “Nice kill Re- I mean,” He cleared his throat, “Nice kill Wraith..” Wraith smiled and thanked him silently while eyeing down the other team. Seconds went by and both teams rushed eachother. Bullets whizzed by eachothers heads and occasionally hit their shoulders or legs. Octane’s team was low on meds while the other team was low on ammo. Another minute of fighting passes and Wraith’s team is deemed the champion. When they were back in the drop ship everyone congratulated them for winning even though they were in a tight spot. There was an after match party happening in an hour so everyone went back to their rooms to clean up after a long day and get dressed. Renee was first to her room to take a shower while the others stayed in the kitchen or hallways sparking conversations with eachother. While Renee took her cold shower, Elliot decided it was be such a good idea to just waltz into her room to ask her a question not knowing that she was relaxing without voices for once.

“Hey Renee! I was just wondering if you wanted to match for the uh..,” He paused, looking around, “Renee? Where are you??” He looked around the empty yet messy room. Clothes thrown everywhere and notebooks and hairties were strewn about. Her messy bed showing how much she slept that night, which it wasn’t much. He began to worry about her well-being and if she even actually took care of herself. He heard the loud shower running so he went and knocked on the bathroom door. But before he actually knocked, he thought about the things that could happen if he knocked on her bathroom door when she didnt even know that he was in her room. He’d be killed. Before he knew what was coming he accidentally knocked on the door infront of him like a reflex. He heard the girl inside gasp loudly with a few things dropping. He startled her, which was a first for him. He was in shock and did not want to move. “She’s like a T-Rex, if I dont move she cannot see me-“ He was cut off when the door swung open and a semi-dryed off Renee was standing in-front of him. She had her body wrapped with a towel and her still damp hair dripped along the floor and her scarred shoulders.

“How are you in here and what do you want,” She said firmly with an annoyed face. “One, your door was open, two, I wanted to ask if you wanted to match outfits for the after match thing..,” He sighed looking away, “Nevermind, it was a dumb question of course you dont.” He turned and apologized but before he could leave the room Renee stopped him. “Who said I didn’t want to? I wouldn’t mind matching with you,” She stepped over to her closet and sifted through the dresses section, “What color or style were you thinking of?” Elliot was astonished that she actually agreed to do anything with him. “I was thinking accents of purple..? I think it would look nice on both of us,” He sat down on a nearby chair in her room, looking away from her slender body. “Fine with me, now turn around,” She made sure he had his eyes closed and was turned around in order to change. She dropped the towel and peered back just in case. “You want him to see you” “Tell him to turn around” “Let him touch you” The voices were surrounding her but she managed to ignore them. When she finished getting dressed she had Elliot turn around.

“Wow..,” Elliot had no words for the sight in front of him. She wore a long black dress that had a slit on the side with a fluffy, purple boa draped over her shoulders and she was wearing heels making her as tall as him. She played with her hair a bit out of embarrassment while looking away. “You look..amazing,” Elliot was admiring her features that he acted like he’d never seen before, “I just- have no words.” “I dont look that good relax,” Renee walked over to her dresser and put on a necklace that had a purple gem in the middle. “Are you going to just stand there and not go to your room and get dressed?” Renee peered over at him from the mirror. “Right..right yeah, Ill be back to ‘pick you up’,” He opened the door and quietly shut it behind him. She sighed and thought out loud, “What am I going to do about him?” She put her hair in a half bun-half hair down sort of style and finished her look with mascara and a slight tint to her lips. She slipped on short black gloves and grabbed a clutch that had small purple accents on it. “He will like it” “For once you look nice” “People are going to judge you” “Nobody will approach you” “People are going to hate you” The voices started off nice but went downhill and piled hate after hate onto her. She pushed them away and mumbled to herself that tonight will be a good night. Light knocking was heard and she went to open the door, her heels clicking with every step.

“Ready to gooooo-“ He looked her up and down and smiled, “You’re beautiful” He tucked a stray strand from her hair behind her ear, “Let’s be on our way before the limosu- limosio- limo gets here.” He held out a hand and she gladly took it. They held hands for most of the way until Renee let go to check her clutch for something. She pulled it out and checked it before slipping it back in. It was her Apex ID, aka the only way to get into Apex events. You can be one of the legends but they wouldnt let you in without it since people knew how to look almost identical to them. She didn’t regrab his hand after that, she wanted to make sure no one saw. When they got to the front of the building everyone was in their formal attire. Octavio was wearing a green suit top with tailored shorts to go along with it and Natalie wore a white party dress that had orange and blue accents, Anita was in a classic suit talking to Loba who was in a short gold dress, Crypto was in a white suit with green accents, Rampart was in a blouse and office pants, Gibby was in a suit while Ajay wore a long blue dress, Bloodhound wore their goggles along with a suit that had a red cloth in its pocket, and Alexander wore a plain black suit. Revenant doesn’t dress up he said. Pathfinder simply went as himself for the night. After a couple minutes of waiting the limo drove up to the curb of the building. Everyone piled in close together and began conversations with eachother. Elliot and Renee sat really close together due to the limo being quite small for a bunch of legends. Some minutes pass and Renee’s eyes are starting to close. She finally let the sleepiness take over her and her head softly fell onto Elliot’s shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled. Most of the legends eyed them and mouthed for him not to move one bit or she would murder him.

“Elliot..,” Renee mumbled in her sleep, “I..love you..” The small sentence was only heard by the man allowing her to sleep. He tensed up but relaxed as her arm draped over his. The limo pulled up to the event center and a red carpet was dramatically rolled out for the legends. One-by-one everyone was walking down the red carpet either together or solo. Im guessing you can guess which ones walked solo. Elliot nudged Renee and she slowly opened her eyes. She yawned quietly and her eyes met his. They looked at eachother and then she backed away, standing up. She turned away and quickly walked out of the limo and Elliot followed shortly after. Elliot caught up and walked beside her while she covered her eyes from the flashing of the cameras. He enjoyed all the attention on him but Renee never did. He realized what was happening and walked directly infront of her, taking the spotlight. The taller put his hand behind his back and Renee allowed herself to grab and squeeze it lightly. He led her somewhere private and sat her down on a wall away from everyone else.

“You okay? I know you dont like the atten- attentin- eyes on you,” he knelt down, matching his eye level with hers. “I’m fine, you dont have to worry about me so much you know,” She sighed and leaned back slightly, “Let’s just get back to the others before they think were fucking or something.” Elliot offered a hand but she declined, pushing herself up from the wall. She swayed her hips with every step she took towards the doors. Her dress flowed down neatly from her waist down to the carpeted floor. He watched her walk away as the boa she wore bounced with her strides. “W- wait up Renee!” He yelled, fast-walking towards her but she was already through the doors. When he made it through, it was bustling with legends from other ports and random game organizers. There was loud music playing from speakers up above and most of the legends were by the bar including Anita and Loba. Others were either on couches or talking near walls with each other. There were people dancing in the middle of the room where flashing lights and more sparkled along the area. His eye caught the bright purple boa from across the room.

“Hey Ren, glad I finally found you,” He sat next to the now relaxed woman, “Let me guess, appletini?” She gave a side-glance towards him while she sipped the drink he guessed. It was her usual at the Paradise Bar so it wasn’t weird. Minutes went by and the found themselves laughing at eachother from stupid jokes and random stories. A slow-dancing song played on the speakers and everyone got with a partner.

“Wanna go dance with me Ren?” Elliot grabbed her hand, pointing to where everyone was partnered together. “I can’t really dance Elliot, I dont know if I could do it,” Renee responded back to him, covering her face with her boa. “Oh, come on you can’t be that bad at dancing. It’s not that hard, come on I’ll teach you,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the seat to take her over to everyone else. He brought her to the dance floor and held her close, guiding her hands to where they were supposed to be. He placed her hands on her lower waist and swayed side-to-side with her. “See? I told you it wasnt that ha-“ He winced as she stepped on his foot, “It’s fine, I forgive you since you’re a beginner.” She apologized anyways and held him closer. As the song came to an end everyone seperated except for them.

“This is nice,” Renee pulled away from his arms, “Want to go somewhere more..quiet?” Elliot’s face contorted to a confused yet happy expression. “I know just the place Ren!” He grabbed her hand and practically sprinted out the doors with her, bringing her to a cliff just off the side of the road. He sat down far away from the edge and patted the spot next to him, signalling for her to walk over and sit next to him. The sun was setting and it was the most beautiful thing that Renee had ever seen. “Oh wow Elliot..I never knew about this spot,” She couldn’t stop gazing at the orange and red hues surrounding the hot ball of gas. “My mom would take me here sometimes, from the sunset, the sunrise, and the stars oh my god the stars. She’d make them so amazing but one day she got so sick and she couldn’t take me anymore. So everytime we get to come here I come out here, to escape the whole legend thing and relax by myself. But now, I see two pretty things infront of me..the sunset and well, you,” He gently grabbed her hand and her reddish face was hard to see in the dark. She turned her head towards him and he smiled softly. “This reminds me of something I saw today, a post with a drawing of us. There’s just one thing missing to complete the scene I believe,” Renee saw him thinking and it looked like a lightbulb just turned on in his head. He leaned in and so did she. They closed their eyes and-

kissed

The scene matched the vibe of the social media post that Renee had randomly come across. It was a strange feeling to Renee, for she had never felt this way towards anyone before. Atleast, not a time that she could remember. Elliot had a goofy smile plastered on his face afterwards. She grinned and leaned on his shoulder as they gazed at the stars that started to peek from the horizon. “Alright yuh lovebirds, get yuh asses inside before we leave without yuh guys,” Ajay leaned against the door, watching them. “Oh, alright. We’ll be right there Ajay,” Renee looked over her shoulder to the other girl and smiled softly. Ajay nodded and closed the door behind her. Elliot was the first to get up and then offered a hand for Renee to grab. She gladly took it and he hoisted her up to her feet. She brushed off any dirt that may have gotten onto her dress. As they went back inside, no one really looked at them apart from quick glances. Anita signalled to them over at the entrance that they were leaving the event. They held hands as they rushed over to the group, not wanting to let go of eachother. Anita counted them and led everyone back to the limosuine so they could pile in the same way they did when they arrived.

(Back at the Apex Dormrooms)(Specifically Elliots Room)

The two were sitting on top of the bed in Elliot’s room, talking. Everyone had just got back to the dorms and they had rushed out so they could get some privacy. “So..what are we now?” Renee turned towards Elliot, who was fidgeting with his hands. He looked up and shifted into a more comfortable position to look at the girl next to him. He looked back infront of him and flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Whatever you want us to be, Ren,” His eyes glanced at her features from the angle he was in.

“I want to be...more than friends-“

“Best friends?”

“No-“

“Best best friends..?”

“Elliot-“

“What?”

“I want to be together, as in I want us to date and do things that couples do,” her head turned towards him. “A-are you sure?? I-I-I mean I dont think Im that bad at being a boyfriend but are you really sure you want to be in a rela- rele- be with me???” He stammered, not knowing what to say. “Yes,” was all she had to say when Elliot pulled her in close to lay down next to him. He kissed her cheeks and her forehead multiple times before stopping to stare at her beauty. She giggled and smiled then held him down into a cuddle position on the bed. “This is what I’ve always wanted, despite me acting like I never did,” She admitted, tracing circles on the others chest. “Did you want to sleep here for the night? Or..we’re you going to go back to your room?” Elliot asked, but got no response from the other. Renee was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly. Elliot smiled a loving smile and kissed her forehead lightly then fell asleep quick with the warmth she amitted.

E X T R A

Octane walked into Elliot’s room, knowing it was unlocked and because he was his best friend. He had his phone in hand, ready to ask a question about the future match. His eyes darted towards the bed after noticing that the lights were off. There, he saw his best friend with the stone cold girl, who never really showed emotion. He gasped quietly and opened the camera app on his phone. He snapped a picture but before he knew it, the flash went off and lit up the entire area of the man’s bed. Renee groaned and covered herself more with the blanket that was draped over her and Elliot. He quickly stepped out of the room where the couple rested and snickered at the photo he caught. His first thought was to post it, his second? To post it and then print it and frame it. He didnt want to seem like a bitch so he decided to post it with the caption, “Found the lovebirds mating LOL” Within a matter of seconds, the post flooded with likes and shares. Which meant that all if not most of the legends would see it. You bet that Elliot and Renee we’re furious when they both came across it the next day..

THE END

word count: 5,445

Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :] <3

Quotes will resume Monday,, 2:00pm CT

[rubyneo]

i think in terms of the top wildest things that have happened to me in the rvvby fandom the top two HAVE to be

1) when i was on my old blog and i made a post "bl/ake should have been brown". i went to bed and woke up to a thousand notes from GROWN ADULTS telling me how stupid and racist i was. i got death threats. because i said b/lake should have been visibly brown. i want to say this was during the time volume 4 came out? so i was 15/16. with 24+ year olds telling me how i should k*ll myself for saying a character shouldnt have been Paper White when she was obviously asian coded AND her parents were inspired by indian characters

2) when i said i would have to put a certain ship as a discomfort because the fans were getting REALLY annoying and insisting that it was gonna be canon and people had to respect that it was gonna be canon and they HAD to like it. and i made this post a) on my private vent twt account that had like 2 followers and b) on here where it was censored AND tagged so none of my friends/followers that enjoyed the ship had to see me venting. a mutual saw the posts and got so angry they started spamming their accounts with the ship AND made multiple threads vagueing me. i had THREE panic attacks. i finally soft blocked them because i couldnt deal with the stress anymore. they then vagued about me because of THAT and started talking about k*lling themself on their vent acc that i hadnt sb'd yet and talking about how i would probably like it if they did that (because...i soft blocked them. for vagueing me). the ship was an f/f ship and i got told by a friend i shouldnt criticize the ship or its fans or i could look homophobic even tho im literally wlw (and mlm but lets not get into my gender shit). and THEN they accused me of just disliking any ship that got in the way of a ship i like AND just hating popular ships because theyre popular. other people were vagueing me! people i didn't know were talking about me! i deactivated my twitter for a few hours because of it! and then it turned out the mutual had a misunderstanding about the content of my posts. and even then they didnt take full responsibility because somehow?? me making tagged vent posts means that i was at fault??? also their excuse for the vagueing and overreaction was their rsd.

anyway.

[its-ya-boi-autumn]

sjdbfisdb your writing is so good!!!! i loooovveeeee the feitan ones so much ahg. im content starved. i dont know if youve already done this since i just found ur acc, but could you do one with with machi in it? maybe fluff? idk...

I've actually never done Machi! I love her so muchhhhh I'm an attention whore for her 😂😂 I didn't know if you wanted male or female, so I did this platonically and tried to avoid anything suggestive of gender (most of the time I try to do that anyway but still)

"Right on time!" you greeted Machi happily, smiling gently at her. She didn't return it. Must of been in a bad mood. Your own mood changed slightly, eyebrows furrowing and squinting at her.

"What happened? You good?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, just ran into some trouble on the way here. " Her arms were crossed over her chest defensively though she finally let a small smile tug at her lips. You sighed in relief. At least you wouldn't have to deal with the bad attitude all day.

You wouldn't necessarily call it a date, mostly because Machi and yourself had been friends for a few months, but you'd offered to take her out to the small cafe just downtown of your apartment. To your surprise, she obliged.

"So, other than that 'trouble' you ran into, how's your day been so far?" you tried to make light conversation. Machi didn't seem to be very talkative in general, though she let her arms fall down to her sides.

"Eh, it's been okay I guess. It happened the second I woke up. Some guy just started banging on my door and yelling."

"How long was he there for?"

"Dunno, don't care. Must of been all morning." she looked away from you and instead to her side, watching for something. Her alertness didn't go unnoticed, though you said nothing. You wanted to avoid making her uncomfortable or seeming invasive at any cost. She told you what she wanted to, and that was all. You didn't want to ruin your relationship when it just started. Though, your own anxiety was beginning to swell in your chest. Who was she looking for?

"So, have you ever been to this place before?" you attempted to start a new topic in order to muffle the apprehension wrapping itself tightly around you. You even started searching for an unknown source of your worry, darting your eyes every where for a threat you didn't even know was there. Machi seemed to take notice.

"Don't worry, nothing is here right now." she started, "And, as long as you're with me, you're safe. Also, no, I haven't been here before." she chuckled at your reaction. You let your guard fall down and continued to walk with her. You had seen Machi fight before so you knew you were probably safe. Still though, you couldn't help but be wary of the world around you. Your hands fumbled over each other nervously.

One of Machi's hands covered both of yours, lowering them slowly. You met her gaze. She was... Gentle?

"Hey seriously, don't worry about it. Everything's gonna be fine~" she reassured you softly, never taking her eyes off you. The world around you seemed lighter now, better than it was a few moments ago.

The two of you simply kept walking together, bodies in sync with one another while you spoke. Machi didn't seem the domestic type, but right now she was rather calm and perceptive. Not only of her surroundings but also of your conversation. She was genuinely listening and giving effort to hold up with you. This in and of itself made you glow on the inside.

Eventually, the two of you managed to make your way to the small café on the corner. You would have passed it up entirely had Machi not pointed it out to you.

“Alright, I hope this was worth leaving home for...” Machi spoke more to herself than to you, and you knew she didn’t mean it offensively. However, the words still reached you in a negative tone. You didn’t let it bother you too much as you knew she’d like it a little bit at the very least.

There wasn’t much to the area. It was rather bland looking and unassuming for someone who was new to the café. Machi didn’t seem to mind though, even letting her guard down more. Obviously, despite the cream color of the walls and typical swirly cursive writing on the white boards, this place struck her as somewhere comfortable. Safe. Safe from whatever had been bothering her earlier that morning. A part of you wanted to ask her about it, to see if possibly you could help with whatever it was. The other part of you said that it was none of your business though and that it would just be better not to ask. You were sure that whatever it was, Machi could handle her own.

“So, what do you think?” you asking while stepping in front of her view, eyeing the photos on the wall of coffee brews and of food they served here. Machi said nothing, still taking it all in. You didn’t push her, at least not until the waiter arrived with two menus in hand.

“Two?” She held up two fingers. You nodded, tugging on Machi’s sleeve to ensure she wouldn’t be in the way of the next customers to enter. You snapped her out of her trance, letting go of her immediately so she wouldn’t feel alarmed. She followed willingly after you and seated herself across from you in the chair closest to the wall. The waiter set your menus down on the glossy wood and pulled out a pen and paper pad.

“Can I get you started off with some drinks?” her voice was pitched in a friendly manner, fake and rather transparent. Machi took a quick glance behind the waiter even though her menu was right in front of her.

“I’ll just have some green tea for now.” she started, her hands playing with the edge of the menu.

“Just an iced mocha for me, thank you.” you smiled at the waiter as she wrote down your drinks.

“Alright, I’ll come back out when they’re ready.” she said, placing her paper pad back into her apron pocket and walking off. For a few moments, neither you nor Machi spoke. Both of you stared at your menus, searching for something to eat. You hadn’t really found anything to eat yet since you had been feeling picky lately when the waiter came up and handed out the glasses with your drinks in them. Machi closed her menu and set it to the side, her hands folding on the table and her back completely straight. Was something off? Did she sense someone nearby that shouldn’t be. She seemed to be relaxed but on the off hand she was awfully aware of her surroundings. Not that it was a bad thing entirely, it just made you nervous. It made you feel like maybe you should be more aware as well.

Machi plainly told the waiter what she wanted and then turned her attention to you. Blushing you stuttered out something you thought you might want, even though it didn’t sound entirely appetizing. You were more focused on Machi’s mood changes than on your order. The waiter said something you didn’t quite hear and then walked off again.

“Are you okay?” her voice broke through to you. You flinched at the sound. Her brow cocked up in judgement.

“Yeah... just anxious, that’s all.”

“I already told you, as long as you’re with me, you-”

“I know! But your mood keeps changing, like you sense something somewhere and it’s making me jittery...” you blurted a little louder than you wanted to, drawing the eyes of some people close by. Machi took notice of this but made no move to meet any of them. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry... I just wanna know what happened and you keep making it seem like whoever was bothering you is still close by.”

“He is.” her voice was completely flat. You shrunk in your seat, head and eyes down to avoid her own. The monotone change made you think you had upset her, making you feel insecure of your next moves.

“I’m sorry...” you mumbled it, you didn’t even know if she heard. Machi sighed, pulling her chair closer to the table and taking a quick glance around the café.

“Look,” she started, “he’s not an enemy, he’s an ally. He’s just been causing some trouble lately and he’s been following me around. He won’t hurt you or me, so we’re okay. I don’t know about anyone else though.” she explained. Her voice remained soft, an attempt to reassure you of your situation while still being honest. A part of you thought it worked as your hands and legs stopped fidgeting about the table. Everything was going to be okay. Whoever this ‘ally’ of Machi’s was couldn’t of been that bad if he hadn’t already shown himself. You tried to calm down some more, just to not create a scene for anyone else. Straightening your back, you leaned forward on the table like she did.

“Okay, can I get a name?” 

“No, that puts both of us in danger.”

“D-danger?” you uttered, feeling yourself shrink again. Machi’s eyes widened. She must of said something she shouldn’t have. Maybe she meant to word that sentence differently and just hadn’t thought about it. Either way, it made you start to worry even more.

“Hey, y/n, we’re okay. I’m right here. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you and I don’t think he’d even try to.” she tried again, trying to make sure you wouldn’t cause a scene. You tried to comply and calm down.

By the time you had actually managed to sit still, your food had arrived in front of you. Machi was already digging in before the waiter could set her plate down.

“You must have been hungry!” you joked, taking a bite of your own food, changing the attitude if the atmosphere once again. Machi didn’t laugh back, just hummed a yes in response, too busy chewing to actually speak. You giggled to yourself, hoping that whatever she was talking about earlier was just talk and that there wasn’t actually anyone there to bother the two of you. And if there was someone here, you hoped they’d just leave you be. You were having a good time with Machi, and you enjoyed her company. You didn’t want this to be ruined by some random stranger. 

[kewltie]

Saw on your Twitter that you may be unemployed the following month, do you maybe have a ko-fi or something we can support you on ?

hi anon!!!

;JA;SDJFAS;DJF wow, idk where to start but REALLY thank you soo much for being so thoughtful! i like to to just preface pls pls PLS don’t feel obligated to donate/tips or whatever!!!! everyone is going through a hard time right now, some worst than others and if you feel like you cant afford to extend a helping hand THAT IS OK!! dont let me guilt trip you to do anything bc you’re just as important and i want you to know that. 

so like, my situation isn’t dire but the lockdown def made it worrisome. i’ve been on lockdown for almost 2 weeks now and my PTO from my company ends this week (they’re only willing to pay for 2wks off then we’re on our own, great riiiight :P) and basically everyone in my household of 3 are unemployed at the moment BUT bc i work for a retail chain corporate is willing to pay 2weeks for me. that’s what we been living on and now since that part will dry up, my mom is going to have to dip into her savings… and i signed up for unemployment benefits not sure if we’ll be approved etc etc. things that i have taken for granted is now is causing me general anxiety lol /o\ i honestly worry how much our money going to last us bc living in socal is v v expensive esp rent… 

so anyway, yea i’ll deeply, deeply apologize for going to push my kofi a little more for the next couple of weeks just to help my mom out w the bills & rent. i actually dont like asking for help, it’s just not my thing bc i get embarrassed about it personally bc i think i can do it all on my own but i have deep appreciation for single moms as you all know and i just dont want her to be burden bc she’s getting old and i just worry a lot about her, thinking how i can help her in this sucky situation. so yea, im going to screwed my pride and promote my kofi more these days. BUT all my contents are 100% free and it wont be under any paywall or anything  through this lockdown so if you cant afford to tip/donate THAT IS PERFECTLY OK!!! im just happy that ppl are reading my stuff and getting something out of it esp during this tough time and the thought of wanting to help me even when you really can’t afford it MEANS A LOT TO ME. so pls think of yourself first and do not feel like you HAVE to help me. do it only do if you can!!!!!!!! i totally understand and want you to take care of yourself and loved ones first bc they’re waaaaaaay more important than me!!

anyway, thank you v v v v much to anon for bringing it up to me! my pride finally succumbed to the reality of situation /o. 

so here’s my kofi acc if something you think you can help out on but once again pls pls pls DON’T FEEL OBLIGATED TO DO IT: https://ko-fi.com/kewltie

[jsctens]

Current favorite stranger things blogs? or friends

OH boy do i have a list for you. sorry anon, i hope you’re ok with me screaming about how great my mutuals are 

(this is no particular order btw) (also!! everyone if i used the wrong pronouns please let me know and i will fix it)

@vwheeler (the dustin to my steve! val is already one of my favourites and i’ve known her for one day. also? she’s always the first one to share new content, like where would we all be without her? probably lost and still wondering when S2 is going to come out tbh)

@rhapsodyinblueyellowgreen (my 4 years older twin sister! grace has some of the best fics around anon, and she’s your gal if you want to be blessed constantly with the cutest lumax and mileven posts)

@strange-thangs (my other twin! ross’ blog is the best for all your el and hop angst and flangst (fluff + angst) needs. like seriously, he knows those characters better than the duffers, probably. all the proof is in his incredible writing. also, he’s hella funny, his shitposts are A+++)

@jane-el-hopper (lucy’s fics are so incredible, every time she posts one i gotta reread it 78 times and appreciate how perfect the writing is. and, her shitposting is also the best. you won’t find anyone funnier and cooler on this site than lucy.)

@thezoomermax (rachel’s lumax fics are STUNNING. every. single. one. like really, rachel if you’re reading this what the hell did you do to get so good? i didn’t even know that level of talent could exist in the world. plus anon! she posts lots other cool things you might be interested in, like teen wolf and harry potter)

@bubblynancy (my girl anna!!! yet another talented fic writer (why is everyone so good i cant handle it) and her blog has pretty much everything you could ask for. stranger things, IT, the maze runner, harry potter and a lot more. i aspire to have an acc as amazing as anna’s)

@clericwil (first off, let’s talk about how aesthetically pleasing gemma’s theme is. it’s so pretty i cry. second, she’s got some of, if not the best byeler fics around!! she posts all the prettiest and all the best st content)

@puzzlingsnark (nicole isn’t strictly stranger things, but whatever, her blog is a perfect mix of everything thats great in the world. and all her stranger things posts are so cool!! she’s got some great opinions about ships and characters, i love reading her tags!)

@the-proud-princess (ANOTHER super amazing writer. this fandom has some of the most talented people ever i swear. anyways anon, sabrina’s blog is perfect. the pinnacle of st blogging, truly)

@partwayhappy (Norm’s blog IS SO INCREDIBLE I LOVE IT SO MUCH. first off the url is perfect? like if you’re not already sold on following after seeing it idk what to tell you anon. this is one of my favourite st blogs ever)

@maplestreet83 (guess what? kaisa is ONE MORE amazing fic writer to add to the everlasting list. kaisa’s blog is the best balance of beautiful fics and beautiful posts.)

@moodyandmoonyeyed (marah is the nicest person you’ll ever meet. 100%. and her blog is great for harry potter, phenomenal fics, and stranger things conent in general. she’s so talented, words can’t describe tbh)

@janeswheeler (aka writer of the most iconic mileven enemies to lovers fic “I Want to Ki** You”. your life isnt complete until you’re reading that absolute gem of a story. plus, her st posts are fantastic!)

@formerlyjannafaye (okay janna’s original posts are SO SO GOOD. they always make me cry or squeal or smile like crazy. she’s got the best mileven headcanons)

@themikewheelers (tori writes the best posts about all the stranger things characters. im pretty sure its actually the duffers in disguise, because the mileven headcanons, the lumax headcanons, pretty much ALL the headcanons are so perfect and great to read)

@hannahberrie (um, if you haven’t read everybody talks, and if you’re not reading strings attached you are seriously missing out. plus! hannah’s gifs and moodboards are always gorgeous)

@she-who-the-river-could-not-hold (kathryn literally invented lumax. no one can write them like she does, and all her aus are so original and well thought out i cry at her talent every single time)

AND FINALLY!! here’s a quick list of some underrated blogs i love (i would totally write super long paragraphs for all of you if it werent for the fact that this post is WAY TOO LONG. i love all of these blogs so much though)

@milevenhell

@mikeswheelers

@captainwilldameron

@michael-hearteyes-wheeler

@whatswithanna

@wheezingwheeler

@paladin-wheeler

@martiegalwrites

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 4 Confessionals

RTP is a monster. Anyway, we fucking crushed that immunity. I wanted Jordan pines voted out. I've only ever played one org with him and he was my nemesis and I just don't have the mental capacity to deal with a nemesis in this one. Why couldn't Willa have done better

we won the music video.. and my ass edited a full video plus a roast after never using adobe premiere before so im pretty shook!! our tribe definitiely seems more... "kumbaya" than the other tribe which... eh. i want the drama! but other than that our tribes good. i def feel like ive been getting complacent with talking to people so im gonna start trying to ramp back up my social game to how it was in the first round hopefully?? i need to start talking more and making bonds. (not much i can really do though, willow katie and chris are on the bottom) i just have to ensure theyre still on the bottom and hopefully keep katie safe for me to work with?? willow and chris can go i guess. also charlotte can go too tbh. like id prefer me/bryce/zach/katie over me/bryce/zach/charlotte but a returnees alliance is easier to put together, so ill work with charlotte!! idk why i dont wanna work with her i just dont get a good vibe from her?? sounds dumb but im trying to trust my gut. and ... yeah not much has happened and i dont wanna make major waves just yet.

Free rice is so fun and not having to do grammar? Amazing! Hope I can do well in this challenge to show I'm useful. I feel like their isn't a lot of socializing happening on our tribe but I'm gonna try to change that. katieare propane torches dangerous? I want to go get one at home depot today. katiehere is my second confessional: charlotte seems chill I wonder if she will work with me in this game?

WILLA IS FINALLY GONE. God I can't believe he didn't compete in a single challenge and managed to not get first boot. We did Emma so dirty, I can't believe it, bring her back. Anyway, going in this reward challenge I'm not too fussed about whether we win or not, it would be nice to see what the Wishing Well is all about but eh, I'm not too fussed. Immunity is what I really want because now that we got rid of the dead weight I think the fingers may start to pointed at the winners AKA me and Jay. We have enough votes to tie it since Jordan is with us. We could potentially swing Adam but he's very much linked with Ryan who is linked with Lexi so it's...a mess. No tribal pls @ immunity gods!

Wow we won another challenge. Is the other tribe even trying? I didn't want to submit too much in case I seemed like a threat so I'm happy that I didn't do the most and we still won. I never find anything in the wishing well tho. Wish I knew who was picking the right number. But focusing on the positive, we won again!! ryan matthewi literally don't know what to do if we go to tribal. i won't want the full jordan pines experience to be blindsided by him. obviously lexi and i are a duo so im hoping we have options if that happens....

So I was looking over my Malaysia confessionals for some reason. What started as me trying to find my FTC speech turned into me reliving horrible and painful memories of Mitchell Kalabang calling me an idiot in many creative ways. Anyways, the reason I mention this is because I noticed that I made a lot of good, detailed confessionals in that game and I want to make sure I can do the same here for Athena. Well as of now, I think I'm in an okay position. I make a bit of chit chat with everyone now and again. I'll need to step that up today though just in case we go to tribal. I admit I've been slacking in my relationships with anyone who's name doesn't rhyme with Pordan Jines. I did congratulate Ryan on winning Kvaløya and told Adam that I'm not gonna vote him out, so that's something. Lexi also came to me and was like "I promise I'll do better on the challenge next time." Like I'm some authority on effort. Ryan probably told her that I was a little annoyed that no one tried in the video challenge. To sum it up, Jordan Pines will always be targeted before me so I am perfectly content letting him take the reins for the time being. I have decent relationships with Ryan and Adam. Lexi is with Ryan for sure. And Luke sketches me out just like every other game I've played with him. I hope we win immunity. 

So we need to win this immunity or we fucked. Like it just doesn't make sense to me. On this tribe we have me jay luke ryan and adam. In theory we should never lose a challenge, but theory is dumb and we lose everything. Like we've managed to keep a cohesive group that i honestly think genuinly likes each other but like, if we lose its all over. If we win this immunity we can hopefully swap and go into it 6-6 and maybe bring katie over to our side. If we lose however everything is done. We go into what may be a divided tribal and lose any hope of keeping a tight 6. We can't lose. Dear god let us win immunity BryceCurrently I'm worried about Zach/Charlotte but I still trust them just something to look out for. Hoping we can win this immunity but if not I think I'd want chris or willow out probably but I'd fall back on my alliance with Zach/Charlotte/Carson

So of course our next immunity is a typing challenge. With this other tribe as insanely fast at typing as they are, I'm really not liking our chances at winning this immunity. I've been pretty busy the past couple of days so I feel like I may be in trouble if we lose.

wait i did that wrong; Katie Shoots Target # sorry i wasnt here on time

I love nothing more than a true underdog story. Zach and Bryce came in the fucking CLUTCH and pulled out that win for us. I can't believe it. In all my days of winning immunity challenges with a tribe, this is probably my favorite one. I'm so happy. I genuinely like everyone on my tribe and I'm so happy we aren't splitting up. Cue RTP laughing at this confessional because we're probably gonna have a swap next.

LOOK AT US WINNING IMMUNITY. SAFETY IS A GOOD COLOR ON ULTA!!!!!

Like ik im probs jinxing something but this game is boring nobody wants to talk game. also everyone just ends conversations after they respond to how are you, and i try and make  small talk... like?? whatevs. im focusing on this game and i rlly wanna make merge. (also zach + bryce killed it woo i love them) nothing is rlly happening in this game which sucks. i predict that therell be a swap next round which is.. eh?? idk how i feel about that but im hoping i wont be swapfucked. (also i think im acc becoming good friends with zach and im happy hes gr8!!)

Wow me and Zach scoring all the points is good. I don't want to be seen as a challenge threat tho in case we swap and I'm somehow not in numbers. It's odd how like everyone hounds Jordan Pines and I can't tell if its jokingly or if hes enemy number 1 FJSDFHSJDF. I'm glad to not go to tribal and to have a 7-5 advantage. Whenever I talk to Willow we talk about nothing for like 2 minutes and thats it. Hasn't eaten meatloaf wish I were her, but hasn't had enchiladas? suspicious... Maybe shes vegan but even still how can I trust someone who doesn't know the goodness of an enchilada. Really wish I had some idea what was happening with the other tribe. Not being in a one world situation is different and I wish I could talk to them more to get a better picture seeing as how I'm going in blind if we swap/merge. Anyways that's all for now

I am well and truly fucked. I slept through all of my alarms last night and ended up missing the immunity challenge which we LOST. Guess what the agenda for the last two people who were voted off was? They didn't compete in challenges. Guess what I just didn't do? COMPETE IN A FUCKING CHALLENGE. God I'm so screwed. My only hope right now is that Jordan and Jay don't hate me enough to vote with me and try and break up the duo of Ryan and Lexi. I'm going to have to pray that Adam will want to work with me too otherwise the vote will tie and I do NOT trust Jay enough to go to rocks for me. Jordan might do that but I don't trust Jay at all to risk his life like that for me. I have a lot of work to put into today so...pray for me. 

WE WON IMMUNITYT! I'm so happy, i need to make two confessionals so this is one: im so happy i pulled through. I tried so hard to focus and make sure we didn't go to tribal because genuinely I like everyone on our tribe andd i'd feel bad voting anyone tbh. im not best socially right now and i think i need to use this time critically. I PROMISE ILL MAKE BETTER ONES NEXT ROUND HEHE

tribe assessment: bryce-  iconic king. he's good at challenges, and i think him and i are semi close. i'm down for working w him and i think he's a good asset carson - my favourite i guess? im closest to him, him and i talk a LOT, and he's super fun and social. i'm a lil worried down the road ideally because of his social game, but for now he's an ally charlotte - her and i are in two games together, so it's risky. i trust her and like her, but our social game w/ one another isn't like phenomenal or anything. She is super sweet Chris - Like... him and I talk a fair amount, not a lot, but he's super cool. I love his puppy (or whoevers puppy that is) and i think he's super sweeet katie - similar as Chris. her and I dont talk a LOT but shes really cool and i think she's a good asset challenge-wise. willow- i love her she's so sweet but she never replies (or often, at least) so RIP! I do think ill end up working w her down the road though, she's a queen -- overall i do like everyone so going to tribal would be awful because i have to vote one out. BUT, theres been speculation on an upcoming swap too... so that's intense. but, nonetheless, im here for twists!

Nope. Thats all i got to say. Like we should have won that. and we didnt and now im mad. And we had a good group of 6 like it was the perfect group of people. But no. We now have to go down to 5 and fuck this up. So thanks RTP. Thanks a lot. Adam might go, he might now? i dont know. I dont care. Just give us a win please.

I'm trying to get the vote on Adam and I feel like even tho jay and Jordan agreed, just the way their talking to me making sure everything's alright with the plan and the fact Adam hasn't tried to PM me I feel like they're just lying

Ok so this is my immunity challenge confessional. We never win reward so i knew we were probably doomed and will never see the wishing well. but i didnt really care about reward. NOW FOR IMMUNITY. im alittle nervous because i feel like since we got rid of the non actives i'm the next in line. So i did my best for the immunity challenge. I mean i got 2 out of the 4 points we scored so i did half the work which in my opinion shows i care a bit. we were in the lead and then the other tribes whole fucking tribe comes out of nowhere and kicks our ass and im just like .....bye

Ok this is my before tribal council confessional. So after we lost ryan created an alliance with me,himself,jay, and jordan. which ok i dont trust jordan that much but i gotta take what i can get. They all want adam out even tho luke didnt do shit for the challenge. Which i like adam but not enough to try to switch the vote. So i prevoted adam but ryan and i feel like some shady shit may happen and one of us will go since people know were best friends. I'll raise hell if ryan goes and hopefully he'd do the same if i go. But i guess we'll see

Man this idol is gonna be so hard to find asdjkfadjsk wish their were hints to it AdamIt sucks that we lost the challenge. I didn't help much more than trying a few times in the beginning. I think I'll like it better when I can do individual challenges, cuz then I only have me to do the challenge so if I don't do it its just skin off my back. I have to make it there first, and that requires good relations with my tribemates, so I can't slack off anymore if I want to maintain that. I hope a swap comes soon, but not with the numbers stacked against Copa tribe members :/

I don't know what I'm going to do about tribal. I voted Luke but it really blows that we lost because I really liked all my teammates. I guess that's on me, maybe I shoulda done better and then we wouldn't be down a tribemate. Consequences and junk. I hope I'm not getting blindsided. I wouldn't put it past Jordan but it seems early in the game for that when we could be really good allies. Just depends if he trusts me I guess. I'm a loyal as fuck though, so I'm gonna make Jordan my main bitch this time. Only depends on if I'm his main bitch. Let's see if we go far together

Hahahahahahahahahahaha I found the idol. But its like one world style or w/e b/c I found the copa idol. And I had to give it to someone without knowing them and without them knowing i sent it. Thats unfortunate b/c I could bond with them but I guess if me and Luke are ever on the same tribe I can let him know and work with him. I was thinking Zach and Charlotte were really close but Charlotte didn't know about the idol map so maybe they aren't. But yaa I just asked my alliance to tell me who to give it to because I have no idea about any of those people having never played with them. Carson initially wanted me to give it to Jay O but then I decided to ask my whole alliance for input to try to make it seem like I'm close with them and want to stay together, which I did. And that's when they said lets give it to Luke. Also Anyone But Jordan Pines 2k17 which made me laugh

OKAY! I FORGOT TO DO ONE BUT ITS RIGHT AFTER TRIBAL SO HERE I AM! Adam is gone. Good. Me, Pines, Ryan, and Lexi are aligned. Meh, at best. If we lose, the original group of me Pines and Luke will split up their duo. Go us!

Did I do a confessional already? I have no idea. I'm in three games. Sue me. We won immunity this week so TBH I stopped paying attention after that happened. BUT HEY, APPARENTLY YOU CAN SEARCH FOR IDOLS AND I DIDN'T KNOW OOPS. Fuck, I'm the worst. How am I still here?