#;; and showing some form of physical intimacy/touch of support/communication in any form

[alealueur]

By the time he had processed the fact he was standing face-to-face with Zephia, it was obvious that whatever had been afflicting him as of late was suppressing his ability to stay awake and conscious, active and attentive. There had been barely any flow of time between the time he reached her door and to stand here in the midst of conversation with her, and yet his brain felt like it was running on its last legs. Exhaustion, intense pain preventing him from thinking, the need to sleep...

❝ It burns, it's hard to see and think... more than before, ❞ he slowly explained as he fought to keep his eyes open, attempting to keep himself present enough to take the medicine as she directed. Would it be wrong to... stay here in her presence? While he rested? The visual stimulation as it was was overwhelming right now, and as much as he could feel himself drifting even while standing, something was telling him he shouldn't succumb to it here (but who else could he turn to?).

The colors swimming into his sight—the way the edges of mage dragon in front of him and their surroundings blurred to the point of being unable to make out details and shapes—made it hard to properly look into Zephia's eyes. Even though it had been so long ago since the thought occurred to him, part of him wished to find comfort in her touch, to return to the days where he found solace in the image of her running a hand through his hair or the simple act of keeping him steady by holding onto his hand (he sought these things and yet they had not ever happened once, not even back then).

By now, he no longer expected such a thing—as that was only something a child would ever wish to receive—and yet he felt... no, he could not allow these feelings to surface. Zephia would not be the same as the mother he lost, and she never would fulfill that role. He could never expect her to indulge in the wishes that still threatened to showcase his weakness: that he possessed a heart that craved such things like comfort and warmth.

Despite knowing better, Alear reached a hand out towards her, hoping she'd at least attempt to give him something to hold onto before he gave into the darkness. He knew that showing such vulnerability would not go in his favor, but the manakete had no way to hide it in his current condition, ❝ Please hurry. It hurts. ❞ And he didn't want to lose himself again to the owner of that chilling voice.

When Lord Sombron provided her with the horned circlet, she'd been weary of it. It was an unnatural and risky endeavour to tamper with memories; even more so, if it aimed to suppress a particular facet of personality. Playing around with age-old magic as such could lead to devastating consequences, not only for the magic-user, but also the host.

She swears on her very life: she desires the same as Sombron; hopes for nothing more than to have the mild-mannered, temperate young man from her memories back at her side and steadfast in their cause. Yet, the slim risk of the makeshift crown robbing her of him entirely draws forth a rare frission of panic - an odd emotion to parse within her icy, old soul.

As such, she finds herself staring out from the balcony of her chambers, eyes bright and sleepless staring out into wintery desolation, when he comes to her. He doesn't seek her company often, even rarer so nowadays, as the tension of his new ideals loom over them, a nameless chasm that widens the distance between their closeness; closeness that she never truly appreciated, nor felt. It's a silver lining, how the pains caused by the circlet are driving him back to her.

She tries for a wan smile, but it dims slightly as she takes in his haggard appearance. It is evident that the treatment assigned by Lord Sombron is tolling on his body; she has been forewarned that he may exhibit signs of worsening before his current persona stabilizes. She sighs, a crease at her brow. Though it is entirely of her doing, it is not a sin to confess that she doesn't like seeing the young man in any unnecessary pain.

"Oh, dear me. Is it more of the same? Do you feel any worse, or has the discomfort plateaued of late?" She asks, making a show of inspecting him. She'd prepared a potent headache medicine beforehand in case his condition took a turn for the worse. In an attempt of easing the timbre of her voice into something kind, she does her best to soften, "allow me help you with the tincture, so that we can both sleep easy."

[joongsmassiveship]

Ateez Headcanons

Yeosang and physical affection with his s/o

With Yeosang, all forms of affection are about respect above all else

Especially the physical ones

He respects your boundaries and he expects his to be respected as well

Which is why I have no doubt in my mind that when things are getting serious enough between you two that he feels comfortable, he will want to sit down with you and discuss boundaries

He will leave no room for lack of communication about this because he has very specific boundaries and he knows they can make affection a bit difficult

He is willing to push those boundaries a little if you need him to

But he won't let you disregard them all together

First, there will always be a prompt for consent before any closer, intimate touching

This is ranging from cuddling all the way to sex

Even just to hold on to his arm, he'd like to be asked first

And he of course will show you the same respect

Smaller things like hand holding and quick kisses are different though

He doesn't mind a little spontaneity there

But the ways he initiates physical affection are sweet and cute

Small grazes of his fingers along the small of your back as he passes behind you

Quick cheek kisses when he knows you're busy but he wants to remind you he's there with you

The ocassional gentle butt slap, because let's be real all the boys smack asses

Of course all of this is in the comfort and privacy of your own home

When you're out with him it's completely different

If the setting is a personal outing just the two of you like a date or shopping, he's content with you holding his arm while to two walk and giving him quick, sweet kisses if he's in a good enough mood

Hand holding is definitely encouraged

But if it's a more professional setting, like backstage or behind the scenes of a photo shoot or something, he's way more reserved

This is definitely when he's the most reserved, in fact

Especially if there are cameras on him

No kisses, no clinging

He might let you hold his hand if your relationship is known publicly

But honestly there's a pretty decent chance he specifically tells you he'd prefer not to be touched at all in these settings

Because those things are personal to him and he'd like to keep them away from his idol life as much as possible

Both for his comfort but also for his career and your safety's sake

But if you were with him for support at any of these, which would be often because he'd ask you to be a lot, and you were aching too badly for his touch and you tell him

He will take a few minutes to whisk you off somewhere more private so he can give you some of the attention you need

Kisses and closer intimacy while hiding in a dressing room or even a closet if he must

Nothing too intense

He's not about to get down and dirty with you in the closet on set

But he won't leave you wanting for affection if the lack of it is having an emotional affect on you

He cares about you far too much for that

[mandyjane-lifedesign]

Subtle Red Flags in a Relationship and How to Tackle Them and How to Tackle Them

"The greatest relationships are built on a foundation of friendship, trust, and mutual respect." — Anonymous. Every relationship often starts off feeling dreamy and full of affection. But as time goes on, it's normal for couples to face challenges. Arguments and differences can arise. And quite honestly, these are all a natural part of any relationship. These help you bring closer to each other and build trust.   However, if these problems happen more often than ever, it's important not to ignore these issues. Otherwise, it might lead to a breakup. Recognizing red flags and addressing them is crucial. Remember, maintaining a healthy and strong bond in a relationship requires time and effort. It's about working through the tough times together and keeping the lines of communication open. Having said that, in this article, we will learn some typical problems that arise in relationships and provide tips on handling them successfully. Mistrust Trust is essential for a strong, healthy relationship. When mistrust creeps in, it can quickly damage the bond between partners. This often happens when one or both partners start doubting the other's intentions. Unresolved issues and lingering doubts can lead to suspicion, causing feelings of anxiety, anger, and frustration. The Solution: It is important to examine what's undermining the relationship's security. Reflect on what might be causing these doubts. For example, if you think that your partner is not showing enough affection or keeping up with the promises. In that case, you can openly acknowledge and discuss each other's feelings. This way, you’ll be able to understand each other’s concerns and come up with a mutual solution. Lack of Appreciation Everyone needs to feel appreciated, especially in long-term relationships. Over time, partners might take each other for granted, forgetting to acknowledge the little things. This can lead to petty arguments, a lack of excitement for important events, emotional distance, and sudden reactions. The Solution: Show your partner how much you value them. Regularly express your love and gratitude by sharing emotions, exchanging gifts, or giving surprises. In short, have conversations that make them feel cherished and recognized for their support through both good and tough times. Intimacy Problems Intimacy not only means feeling emotionally close and supported in a relationship. It is more about physical closeness, which plays a big role too. A lack of this connection can lead to problems with intimacy, making you feel distant from your partner. Other things like busy schedules and parenting responsibilities can also affect your intimate life and strain the relationship. The Solution: To tackle intimacy problems, consider exploring new experiences together, like role-playing or experimenting with various forms of touch in the bedroom. Many couples have also tried introducing new things such as handcuffs, real whizzinator xxx, and lubes to strengthen their intimacy. You can make time for such shared activities. Remember, couples who enjoy time together often have stronger bonds. If needed, don't hesitate to seek advice from a counselor for additional support. Differences in Core Values Falling in love doesn't guarantee that you and your partner will always see eye to eye on everything. Differences in social, political, or religious beliefs can be common and sometimes lead to frequent arguments. The Solution: It's possible to navigate these differences. Communicate openly about your diverse viewpoints and strive to understand each other. You don't have to agree on everything; recognizing and respecting these differences is often enough. Remember, every couple encounters challenges, but they don't have to give up on your relationship. Constant Arguments Arguments are a part of any relationship, but it becomes a problem when the same issues keep causing fights. This repetition can make your relationship feel like it's not progressing. It’s often because these arguments are actually about deeper issues, such as not feeling respected and understood or having different needs. The Solution: Focus on the root cause of these repeated arguments, not just the emotions they bring up. Understand the deeper issues behind these fights and discuss them with your partner to find a way forward. Excessive Control in Relationships Controlling behavior in a relationship can be as harmful as violence, but it's not always easy to recognize. What might seem like protectiveness, jealousy, or traditional values could actually be controlled. Signs include your partner tracking your activities, frequent criticism, cutting you off from friends and family, or forcing their decisions on you. The Solution: Be aware of these red flags and consider if they can be resolved. Open and honest communication can lead to understanding and resolving these issues, especially if your partner is open to change. But, if they are not, you must give yourself a priority and know it’s time to walk away from the relationship. Final Thoughts These practical tips are here to deepen your connection and rekindle the spark. Don't let your relationship stagnate; take the initiative now to infuse it with variety and excitement.         Read the full article

[ohnominamino]

An Essay on Love in Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time

Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a movie about love in all its forms. From the love of family, friends, and neighbors, to the compassion we feel for people we have never met. The movie reminds us that love is something we continuously gain, lose, and choose, again and again. Which love is greatest? In my opinion, the answer to that question is left up to interpretation. In this essay, I will give my own personal interpretation on certain character interactions and what I believe we are meant to take away from their Rebuild portrayals. 

The character I will start with is one I’ve noticed the most outrage over from people who haven’t seen the movie and read out-of-context spoilers: Kaworu Nagisa. 

Kaworu is a beloved character among many Evangelion fans, especially those who are members of the LGBT+ community. He is a canonical love interest of Shinji Ikari and I want to reassure people that this final movie does not change that fact. However, it does not make the couple blatantly endgame either. This skirting around the couple might make some fans upset, and while their feelings are completely valid, I do not think they fully understand the difficulties faced by LGBT+ people in Japan, nor do they understand the way that romance is typically conveyed in Japanese storytelling. (I recommend watching “Is ‘Yuri On Ice’ Good Gay Representation?” by James Somerton for more about storytelling nuances.) 

What have we been shown about Shinji and Kaworu’s love? The good news is, anything you read into the original TV series and End of Evangelion is completely true for the Rebuilds— because Kaworu is the same Kaworu. This movie proves Evangelion is a single universe set on repeat, and that Kaworu and Shinji meet each other every loop, and in each, Kaworu is trying to make Shinji happy. Within the final movie, Shinji becomes aware of the loops and chooses to break the cycle and free Kaworu from his pain. 

What does the relationship between Shinji and Kaworu teach us? I believe the purpose of their love is to show the audience that first, in the words of Kaji, “love has no gender.” Second, I believe Kaworu’s love in particular is a warning about basing your own happiness solely upon another person. There are parallels drawn between Gendo/Yui and Kaworu/Shinji. Gendo could not exist without Yui, and so he was willing to destroy the world to be reunited with her. For Kaworu, it was not the destruction of humanity, but the destruction of himself that defined his tragedy. What’s important within the final movie, in my opinion, is that Shinji does not reject Kaworu’s love. With the insight he’s gained from remembering past loops, he sees Kaworu’s love and appreciates him, but he also sees his suffering and wants to ease it. He helps Kaworu into a new world where he can seek his own happiness and find balance in his life (something his father did not have). 

While Kaworu and Shinji are not seen as an explicit couple at the end of the movie, it’s significant to note that, when he sets Kaworu free, Shinji holds out his hand to Kaworu as a promise to stay together. Over the course of the movie, Shinji comes to accept his connection to others through accepting touch (in the form of hand holding and hugs from Rei, Misato, and Gendo); however, Kaworu is the only character in the movie who Shinji initiates physical contact with and that speaks to how much Kaworu means to him. This simple gesture, in my opinion, keeps the door open for Kaworu and Shinji to be a couple one day, after Kaworu has found more balance in his life. 

If I were to write an entire essay about Kaworu, it would be titled, “Out of the Coffin: How the Resurrection of Kaworu Nagisa Buries the Tragic Lovers Trope” because this movie truly does just that. 

Another potential love interest for Shinji for many years was Asuka; however, unlike with Kaworu, the nature of this relationship is not left up to interpretation by the end of the movie. Before her big final battle, Asuka tells Shinji, “I think I loved you back then” (regarding their time in middle school) and Shinji, during Instrumentality, tells Asuka, “Thank you for saying you loved me. I loved you too.” It is past tense. 

What does this relationship teach us? It’s a beautiful way of showing that we can love people, and grow and learn, and let go when we no longer fit each other. Letting go is an integral part of life. Whereas other Instrumentality scenes involve touch, Asuka’s, mirroring the ending of End of Evangelion, has a distinct lack of touch. Shinji sits with his arms around his knees and Asuka turns her body away from him. He gives her his thanks and he sends her off to find her peace. Asuka and Shinji teach us that it’s okay to grow out of relationships. You can appreciate what they were to you at the time they happened and move on. 

What about Rei? To be honest with you, this movie is less about Rei’s relationship with Shinji, and more about her relationship with the world. Rei teaches movie viewers about the simple pleasures of living. While Shinji is in mourning for the first quarter of the movie, Rei (as “Sokkuri”) is learning about crop growing and community, the wonder of babies and kittens, the joy of the bath after a long day of fruitful work, and the power of words and picture books. At the end of her life, she only regrets not having more time to spend with the people she loves. In Instrumentality, Shinji accepts her hand when it is offered to him, which I hope signifies he is ready to see life as she had come to during the final movie. 

Rei teaches us that we can love living and to not take our limited time for granted. 

Next, we move on to parent figures: Gendo and Misato. I think they both represent people ill suited to the role, who do the best they can despite it. Gendo, as mentioned for Kaworu above, is a warning about defining yourself by your relationship to another person (Ikari, afterall, is Yui’s name). He is also a lesson in how people mourn and how they can lash out. Misato, like Gendo, felt herself a poor parent, and while mourning the loss of Kaji, she gave up her child to be raised by other people, but, unlike Gendo, went forward to put all her energy into protecting humanity. Both of them reach out to hug Shinji within the movie and he accepts them where they are. 

While I wouldn’t say the movie shows that Shinji forgives Gendo, it does show his making an effort to understand and make peace with what others have done. For Misato, it is fair to say we can still hope for a better future, even when it feels like everything is crumbling around us. Her self-sacrificing love for her son and the whole of humanity is what enables Shinji to then save the people he loves (via the spear of Gaius). 

In the movie, we are also shown friendship. Touji, Hikari, and Kensuke are important members of their community who maintain open communication with those around them and respect others’ boundaries. They are patient and kind and represent the importance of being present. They teach us to meet people where they are and support them how we can, whether it’s giving them a warm meal or giving them space when they need it. 

There are many more characters that could be talked about, but today I am going to end on Mari. Mari’s love is physical. She enjoys being in people’s personal bubbles. She cuddles Asuka and helps trim her hair, she gets into Gendo’s space at college, and at the end of the movie, she reaches out her hand to Shinji to help him stand up from his seat. Upon first glance, some viewers might take Mari and Shinji’s final scene to be romantic, but the reality of it is this: We do not, and cannot, know what kind of love she is meant to represent in his life.

We do not know Mari’s relationship with Shinji because they hardly interact in the movie. She clearly cares about him, but in my opinion, it comes from a place of duty and compassion— Mari was friends with Gendo and Yui. She has been there since he was born. (If we take the manga to be canon, then Mari even had romantic feelings towards his mother. Her hairstyle and glasses are from Yui. At the end of the movie, Mari has changed her hairstyle, which to me implies she has moved on, and “getting” with Shinji would be a thematic break.)

Additionally, their conversation, while flirty, is very much one that implies they haven’t seen each other for a while. Mari is someone who is very physically affectionate. With everyone. If someone ignores that and focuses on the fact she gets into Shinji’s space and claims that’s romantic, they better acknowledge it’s possibly romantic with Asuka, who we see far more intimacy with. When Mari flirts, Shinji flirts back and her initial reaction is surprise, “Wow, you’ve learned to talk back!” Her purpose is clear. She is there to remove the DSS choker from his neck. 

Personally, I love that Mari is the one to close the movie, for the exact reason that we do not know her relationship with Shinji. For Mari to have an assigned role would be to say, “This kind of love is most important,” when the entire movie was spent showing us each love is of equal importance in the balance and building of our lives. (It’s wonderful to see those types of love embodied across the platform from Shinji at the end of the movie: Rei and Kaworu, who, just like in End of Evangelion, could signify the ability to connect with others and be loved.)

If you view Mari as a romantic love interest, then I think it speaks to the value that you as an individual give to romance rather than what the characters themselves are feeling. To me, Mari, the character who was created to “destroy Eva,” is a symbol of all love. When Shinji takes her offered hand and then pulls her to run into the new world, it’s a symbol of balance. The give and take of any kind of relationship. 

We are the product of every relationship we have ever had, from our parents to the people we once loved, from our friendships to any other person we want to stay connected to. Evangelion: 3.0+1.0 Thrice Upon a Time is a story about these relationships. It is a story about love. 

[sunbeams-and-honey]

Ceres Part 2

Ceres in Aries: They love any physical activity, and often use it as a way to relax. They have a need to be independent and may be prone to self realisations. A lot of them. They need to be physically stimulated often, so they may fidget a lot or naturally snuggle up to people without even knowing that they're doing it. They value sharing experiences with the ones they love above any other type of gift. They find it much easier to show love, rather than to outright say it. They want to help their loved ones to find their independence. They are very protective but hate asking for help. They may have issues surrounding their own self-worth, even though they are the first person to boost the confidence of others. They need to allow themselves to work through their grief, rather than ignoring it.

Ceres in Taurus: Their love language may be touch; they absolutely love to be held and physically comforted by the ones they love. It's vital that their home is a place where they feel safe and loved, and they may like having physical reminders of good experiences in their home, such as having framed photos on the wall. They probably love comfort food, they just need to make sure that this doesn't become a problem. Eating some chocolate when you're sad is all good, but if you're doing it every day, then you should probably look into other ways of comforting yourself. They love to be pampered, even if they try to deny this fact or try to deny themselves this due to self-guilt. Things like massages may seem very appealing to them. They wish to provide financial stability for others, and find comfort through material matters, such as physical gifts. Any issues surrounding their finances will be particularly hard for them due to the comfort money usually gives them. They may be prone to being manipulated and/or manipulating others. It depends on the rest of their chart. They don't like to let go of their grief, which is very unhealthy for their grieving process and wellbeing as a whole.

Ceres in Gemini: They grow when communicating with new people in a positive way, even if they're more introverted than extroverted. It's important for them to be kind or at least civil with more or less everyone they meet. They may find themselves drawn to education, whether that means following higher education, going into the sector as a career, or just constantly having a need to learn new things. Places like libraries or old bookshops may be appealing and comforting to them. They like to talk things through as a form of care for themselves and for others. They may be more comfortable with verbally expressing their love rather than showing it. They love to spend time with the ones they truly love. Their identity may be primarily built of their intellect, so they may have some confidence issues surrounding this. They can't easily deal with rejection. Despite this, they quite literally reject their emotions during times of grief. They need to talk to others in times of hardship.

Ceres in Cancer: They tune into their maternal side and instincts when caring for others, and like to be treated in a similar way. They are very protective of their family and feel like they have a duty to look after them. Remember that this doesn't necessarily mean your biological family. Just like those with Taurus in this placement, it's important that their home is a safe and loving environment. Their home is their special place and should be treated as such. They want to provide this sense of security for their loved ones, and they really do want to care for them. These people often make great parents if they decide to have children. If not, they would at least be quite good with kids. They love to form emotional bonds and connections with others, and this comes very easy to them. However, they might deal with abandonment issues and/or self-esteem issues. They also may have a tendency to cling on to their grief for fear of moving on and forgetting. They need to remember that it's okay to get on with their life; they shouldn't be bound by their grief.

Ceres in Leo: Self-expression and developing their creativity is vital for their self-growth. They have a strong need to be recognised and appreciated and struggle greatly when they feel like they're not loved. Deep down they are a true artist and may be gifted in a certain form of art. Caring for others gives them a huge sense of pride and they might centre their identity around how they do this. They truly want to do their best with their care and are not ones to do this half-heartedly without good reason. They feel loved when they're at the centre of someone else's attention. They thrive on praise from others but they need to learn how to not always rely on this. They need to be able to motivate themselves and this is something they are destined to learn during their lifetime. They are confident in their care but it can lack a sense of empathy. They are good at raising other's confidence, and often do this by recognising the originality of others.

Ceres in Virgo: As most Virgo placements would also imply, anyone with this one probably has some kind of workaholic mentality. They value their work highly and often won't stop until they feel like they're done. They care for other people through discipline, so their way of showing you that they care would be telling you where you're going wrong and why you shouldn't do that. This makes them sound like an overbearing parent or teacher, but they just want to protect you from making bad decisions, and this seems to be the easiest way to do it. They can be harsh when doing this, so they should be told when to rein it in, but they really do care and aren't being mean for the sake of it. They love to help others improve their general skills because they really want them to go far in life. They generally take criticism well because they understand why they're being criticised and know that it will help them in the long run. They love to learn new things, especially in a tactile way. They define themselves based on their achievements, but because of this they can unrealistically high expectations. They go through grief rather quickly, which means that they can overlook what they need to work through. They need to take more time for themselves more often.

Ceres in Libra: These people are highly focused on helping other people, which they often do by expressing their acceptance of their loved ones, and by building a stable relationship with them. They're very good at adapting to the specific needs of specific people, as they understand that everyone is different, and are very observant when it comes to this. It doesn't take them long to work out what a certain person wants/needs. They thrive on communication and stability with a person, and they love to share with them. They also love general intimacy, and this doesn't necessarily mean just sex. They can be selfless to the point of neglecting themselves completely, and this is a hard thing for them to overcome because they base their identity so much through others. They need to learn how to put themselves first and how to separate themselves from other people. Their identity is their own. They are quite open with their emotions so grief isn't as difficult as it could be.

Ceres in Scorpio: People with this placement want to have real connections with the people in their lives. They care for others through any and all kinds of intimacy, and like to be treated in a similar fashion. They don't favour emotional or physical care, tending to combine the two instead. They try to inspire their loved ones to achieve their very best because they think personal transformation is very important. Growth and control are also valued highly with this placement. They prefer to stifle their emotions, so they unknowingly make dealing with grief more difficult for themselves than it could be. They need to learn how to open up more to others.

Ceres in Sagittarius: People with this placement absolutely love to learn and explore, and they need the freedom to do so in order to feel loved. This is how they best grow and thrive. They want to inspire and support the other people in their lives so that they can help them do their best and get through hard times. Their own confidence and optimism helps them greatly with this. They also tend to use their own past experiences and knowledge to help others. They like to build their identity on these things, as well as their beliefs, morals and, to an extent, their loved ones. They have a tendency to avoid grief, preferring to stay strong for other people. That isn't to say that they ignore their grief altogether. They do work through it at some point, it just takes them longer than most.

Ceres in Capricorn: This placement is an indicator that the native holds recognition and achievement in very high esteem. They feel that other people truly care about them when they try to help them achieve their best. Stability is also very important to them and is the main reason why they want to be successful. They're quite big on responsibility and discipline because it's important to them that the people in their lives also achieve success. This focus that they have can mean that they are sometimes too hard on themselves, so they need to understand where to draw the line. They need to learn that their self-worth is not just defined by their achievements in life, and that failure is not necessarily a bad thing. They sometimes feel guilty for dealing with their emotions and grief because they don't think they have the time to work through that side of themselves. They need to learn that this isn't true.

Ceres in Aquarius: These people like to support their loved ones through genuine friendship and by defending them. They loved individuality as a whole and it's vital to them that the people in their life are accepting of one's individuality. They try to make sure that their loved ones feel wanted and respected. They like to be treated in a similar way but they also need a lot of freedom. They need to feel like they're able to breathe. Their role in their community is important to their identity, as well as their connections, originality and creativity. Their politics and what they believe in is also crucial. They may struggle with intimacy and intense emotions because of their tendency to be somewhat of a lone wolf. They're the type of person to have lots of friends but not many close ones. They prefer to detach themselves from their feelings.

Ceres in Pisces: People with this placement are great at understanding and emotionally supporting others. They're selfless to the point of self-sacrifice when it comes to their loved ones, especially to their children. They want to be strong and dependable for others as much as they can. They are sympathetic, compassionate and hugely accepting. They have a large and very alive imagination which needs to be constantly fuelled. They have a tendency to work themselves to the bone so they need to be reminded that they deserve to have a break and be looked after. They sometimes have issues related to their self-worth because they mainly define themselves by how they support others. They constantly feel like they need to be helping someone. Grief can be difficult for them because they feel their emotions so intensely. They are easily overwhelmed by their feelings so they need to learn how to cope in a different way.

[baya-ni]

The Queer Appeal of Sk8

Recently @mulberrymelancholy reblogged a post of mine with a truly galaxy brain take about how Sk8 “is a show made for queer fans” and generally how sports anime often depicts love and relationships in a way that’s more accessible and relatable to ace/arospec people than other mainstream media does.

Just, *chef’s kiss* fucking brilliant. I urge you to read their post here (note I’m referring to the reblog not the actual post).

And basically, it got me thinking about this concept of Sk8 as a Queer Show, and the kinds of stories and dynamics that tend to attract queer audiences in droves, regardless of whether its queerness is made explicit or hell, whether that queerness was intended.

And that’s what I’ve been pondering: What are the cues, markers, or coding, in Sk8 that set off the community’s collective gaydar?

I obviously can’t speak for the community. So here’s what aspects of the show intrigued me and what, for me, marks Sk8 as a Queer Show beyond the subtextual queer romances: a punk/alternative aesthetic, Found Family, Shadow as a drag persona, and The Hands.

1.) The Punk Aesthetic

All three of the above screenshots are taken from Ep 1, and every single one of them depicts background characters. They’re nameless and ultimately unimportant characters, yet each of them designed so distinctly and so unique from one another, one could mistake each of them for the main character(s) of another story.

Of what little I know about Punk subculture, I do know this: that the ethos of Punk is heavily built around a celebration of individuality and non-conformity. Sk8 seems to have incorporated this ethos into the very fabric its worldbuilding, and the aesthetics and culture upon which it takes inspiration appeals specifically to a queer audience.

I don’t really need to explain why Punk has such deep ties with the queer community. For decades, queer people have found community and acceptance within punk spaces, and punk ideology is something that I think is just ingrained in the queer consciousness as both lived experience and a survival tactic.

Therefore, a show that adopts punk aesthetics is, by association, already paying homage to Queer culture, intentional or not.

Queer fans notice this- like recognizes like.

2.) Found Family

This also needs little explanation.

Too often, queer individuals cannot rely on their “born into” families for support and acceptance. Too often, we are abused, neglected, and abandoned by those who we were taught would “always be there for us.”

And so, a universal experience for queer people has been redefining the meaning of Family, having to build our families from scratch, finding brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in people with whom we have no blood relation, and forming communities tied together by shared lived experience rather than shared genetics.

And this idea of Found Family is also built into Sk8′s narrative.

Like, for example, the way that Reki promises MIYA that he and Langa will “never disappear from [his] sight,” filling the void that MIYA felt after his friends abandoned him.

And in the way that JOE becomes a paternal figure for Reki, teaching him ways to improve in skateboarding, and ensuring that Reki doesn’t self isolate when he’s feeling insecure.

And in the whole Ep 6 business with Hiromi acting as babysitter to the Gang.

Hell, even ADAM (derogatory) is associated with this trope. Abused as a child, he finds solace in an underground skateboarding community and culture he helped create- his own found family (or some powertrippy version of it anyway).

Again, queer fans see themselves depicted in the show, but this time in the way that the show gives importance to Found Family relationships between its characters.

3.) Shadow and Drag

This is one that’s more of an association that I personally made. But I was intrigued by the way that Hiromi adopts his SHADOW persona. He wears SHADOW like a mask, and adopts a personality seemingly so opposite to his day-to-day behavior.

Further, the theatricality and general “gender fuckery” of his SHADOW persona, to me, just seemed so similar to a the characteristics of a drag persona (I don’t know a whole lot about drag but enough that I’m drawing superficial similarities).

There’s also this aspect of a “double life” that he, and actually all the other adult characters of the show, have to adopt, which is a way of living that I’m sure a lot of queer viewers see themselves reflected in.

4.) The Hands

Ohhhh the Hands.

One of the things I noticed very early on is the way the show constantly draws our attention to Reki’s hands, which I thought was a little strange for an anime about skating. After all, skating doesn’t really involve the hands, or at least the show doesn’t really draw attention to hands within the context of skating.

I count 3 times so far between Eps 1-9 in which hands are the focus of the frame.

First, when Reki teaches Langa how to fist pump after Langa lands his first ollie, second, when Reki and Langa make their Promise, and finally, when Langa saves Reki from falling off his board.

And you know what they say, twice is a coincidence but thrice is a motif (no one else actually says this I think I’m the only one who says this lol).

I’m not really certain why hands seem to be such a shared fixation among queer people (at least among those I interact with). All I know is that gay people are just fucking obsessed with them.

I have a Theory as to why, and at this point I’d love for other people to chime in and “compare notes” if you will, but I think it basically has to do with repression. And in the same way that queer people have had to redefine the meaning of family, we’ve also had to redefine intimacy.

Being overtly physically affectionate with someone of the same sex, even if they’re your significant other, or often specifically BECAUSE they’re your significant other, can still be dangerous, even now despite the “progression” of society. Queer people know this, this vigilant surveillance of our environment and ourselves, always asking ourselves, “Am I safe enough to be myself?”

Already, Western culture is pretty touch-averse. That is, it’s considered taboo to touch someone unless they’re a family member or a romantic partner. And to touch a person of the same sex in any way that could be misconstrued as romantic (which is most things tbh) is a big no no.

There’s just A Lot to unpack there.

But basically I think that queer people, by necessity, have had to learn to romanticize mundane or unconventional ways of being physically intimate so that we can continue to be romantic with one another without “being caught” so to speak.

Kissing and hugging is too obvious. But a handshake that lingers for just a second too long is much more likely to go unnoticed, braiding someone’s hair can easily be explained away as just lending a helping hand, touching palms to “compare hand sizes” is just good fun.

But for queer people, these brief and seemingly insignificant touches hold greater meaning, because it’s all we are allowed, and all we allow ourselves, to exchange with others.

God, I’ve gone off and rambled again. What’s my point? Basically that the way the show draws attention to Reki’s hands, and specifically how they’re so often framed with Langa’s hands, is one of the major reasons why I clocked Sk8 as a Queer. It’s just something that resonated with me and my own experience of queerness, and I know that I’m not the only one who noticed either.

~

So in conclusion, uhhhh yeah Sk8 the Infinity is just a super gay show, and it’s not even because of the homo-romantic subtext (that at this point is really just Text).

Because what’s important to understand is that Queerness isn’t just about same-sex romance.

Queer Love isn’t just shared between wives/girlfriends, husbands/boyfriends, and all their in-betweens. Queer Love can be two best friends who come out together, queer siblings who rely and support one another, a gay teacher who helps guide one of their questioning students, a queer community pitching in to help a struggling member.

And that all ties with another important thing to consider, that what we refer to as the “queer experience” or “queer culture” isn’t universal. In fact, it wrongly lumps together the unique experiences and struggles of queer BIPOC all under one umbrella that’s primary White and middle class.

So I think what drives a lot of my frustration about labeling a show like Sk8 as Queerbait is this very issue of considering queerness and queer representation within such narrow standards, and mandating that a show must pass a certain threshold of explicit queerness to be considered good representation.

I get that someone might only feel represented by an indisputable canonization of a same-sex couple. That’s fine. But labeling Sk8 as Queerbait for that reason alone ignores the vast array of other queer experiences.

The aspects of Sk8 that resonate most deeply with my own experiences of queerness is in the way that Reki and Langa share intimacy through skating (intricate rituals heyo). For me, them officially getting together ultimately doesn’t matter- I’ll consider Sk8 a Queer show regardless.

Similarly, @mulberrymelancholy​ finds ace/arospec representation in that very absence of an on-screen kiss. A bisexual man might find representation in Reki, not because he enters a canon relationship, but in the depiction of Reki’s coming of age, growing up and navigating adolescent relationships. A non-binary person might feel represented through CHERRY’s androgyny.

That’s the thing, I don’t know how this show will resonate with other members of the queer community, and it’d be wrong to make a judgement on Sk8′s queer representation based on my experiences alone.

That being said, Straight people definitely don’t get to judge Sk8 as Queerbait. Y’all can watch and enjoy the show, we WANT you to enjoy these kinds of shows, and we want you to share these shows and contribute to the normalization and celebration of these kinds of narratives.

But understand that you don’t have a right to tell us whether or not Sk8 has good or bad queer representation.

And even members of the queer community are on thin ice. Your experience of queerness is not universal. Listen to the other members of your community, and respect that what you might find lacking in this show may be the exact representation that someone else needs.

[ravenadottir]

yay! i'm so happy you're back. I have a bunch of topics I thought of with the s2 characters while you were away I'd love to hear your thoughts on... their #1 love languages, how do you think they decided to sign up for the show, and how they spent the money (if they shared/split)

hi anon, i am too! i missed here a lot. i'm glad you're giving me something to think about, 'cause i've been brain dead for the last few days :/

alright, i think i'm gonna have to split this ask so it's not so long. here are their primary love languages:

~ words of affirmation ~

henrik. he loves encouragement and to hear how much you love and care. hearing it out loud is enough for him, every day after he comes back from work. you're both probably too tired, but the one thing that lifts his spirits is to hear how much you missed him. he also thinks about those when he's out there, on instruction mode. when he sees a beautiful landscape, and you're not there, he remembers what you said and smiles. it's what helped him persevere and finish the trail, or climb.

kassam. he's a very reassured guy, still, his frantic life requires the one thing he can remember when he needs. words will stay with him longer than the feeling of your touch, or the breakfast you shared one morning. those words are what he carries with him at all times, especially when he feels nervous before a big gig, or when he's about to sign with someone.

lottie. it's part of the reason why it would never work between her and gary. or covidiot. lottie is insecure and perceives words as honesty, as not only a way of communicating but also showing. and her favorite is to hear it, from your mouth, live. of course a text or a note works, but there's a reason why she's so candid, and takes pride on it, about everything.

carl. definitely needs reassurance given to him in word form. he's the type of person that goes insanely deep into his work and his own issues, spiraling into anxiety. words help pulling him back to the surface and take a long and needed breath. carl was also the boy who got bullied for his interests, and supportive words make him forget about the hardship he faced when he was younger. hearing them from a loved one gives him the certainty he's not alone, and even more, that he has someone to count on.

~ quality time ~

noah. reading a book while enjoying the sounds of nothingness, like the quiet of the house, the wind outside, or just the crackling of the fire if it's up. not much has to be said for noah to feel blessed when he has that time of the day with you. being around each other might come from the fact that his parents weren't there for most of the time.

lucas. mainly because of how his parents were always traveling and never spent that much time with him. of course the second is acts of service, but nothing beats spending time with you, whatever that might be. a movie on a quiet thursday, going out to dance, dinner or having a romantic evening in a beautiful hotel room somewhere. he needs your presence and the certainty that you'll be with him at all times.

marisol. her favorite moment is to spend it with you having a stimulating conversation. whatever you two are discussing is due to the moment, but not only quality time represents a moment of calm (i assume she was always on the run about studying, reading) she can have a moment of peace. of course other activities fit in, but talking while spending time together, getting your opinion and insights are for sure her prefered way of staying together.

~ physical touch ~

gary. nothing says "intimacy" like touching to him. especially if it's a tender cuddle or one of those "hugging you from behind to rest his chin on your shoulder" moment. he needs physical touch at all times, and he might even joke about being clingy, but he doesn't care. that's how he gets reassured. it's also how he knows the relationship is going well. once you don't want to be with someone, the last thing you want to do is to touch. for all that time girls made him the second choice, or he wanted something serious and was nothing more than a friend, was the saddest time of his life because he was touch starved! and i said this before, but i think gary's horniness is because of his primary love language too.

~ acts of service ~

bobby. it doesn't matter what the moment is, that's what he likes doing for you, and that's what he likes to receive at all times. whether he's happy, sad, angry, in need of a pick me up, or simply coming back from a tiring day. receiving something that took you time makes him very happy. it shows how dedicated you both are to the relationship.

chelsea. i'm sorry, but even though adhd is not her whole personality, it's a big part of it. she'll forget to put gas in her car, or to order dinner. small things that facilitate her day are her favorite, but yes, acts of service will always top any other language. if she's with a client and suddenly remembers she had to pick up the dry cleaning, you'll text her about it "just picked up the dry cleaning. wanna have lunch downtown?" she'll melt all over the floor of the room she needs to decorate.

hope. more than gifts, which i think are the second favorite, it's the little things you get done for her. she's very busy, and apparently is the reason why she doesn't know how to cook. always running back and forth, it's probable that your acts of service would help her in a moment of need. not having to ask is what rounds it up nicely. the fact that you went out of your way to do something for her is the ultimate proof of love there is.

~ receiving gifts ~

ibrahim. it's how he shows love, and how he likes to be shown love. if you bring him something like a miniature of some sort, preferably a super hero, it will make his week worth it. when he travels and you can't be with him, that's how he shows how much he missed you. little gifts about internal jokes are an extra affectionate way to demonstrate that you care.

elisa. yes, she loves presenting you with something glamorous, but it's also how she knows she's appreciated. it doesn't have to be big or even expensive, but that's the only way she comprehends love from you. and if i would have to guess what she likes the most is small trinckets she either keeps on her vanity or in her car. she can remind herself of how luck she feels when looking at them.

priya. in my head priya will jump and hug you whenever you bring her something. as small as it could be, anything that you tell her it reminded you of her will make her melt. whether a flower, a small item she'll keep on her car, or her favorite hair product, it doesn't matter. it's also the only way she's sure you know her well. she measures it by the accuracy of items you bring her.

[hatboyproject]

This is very long, but it might be of interest to someone, somewhere. I was asked recently about the direction I'm taking this romance in and whether or not I'll be addressing certain disability specific subjects within it. The answer, of course, is yes - I have always planned to do this in one form or another. Whilst no single piece of media can address everything I'd like to say on the subject, and I am working within the bounds of a larger story with its own pacing and focus to consider, there's still room to touch on some of these things.

I'm aware that my interpretations won't always be the same as others'. They are my interpretations, coloured by my experiences and feelings, and ultimately, this is my mod - I'm writing it for everybody who 'wears the ballcap,' so to speak! But, it's my interpretation of this character that I'm trying to share with everyone. Different people "took the helm" (laugh, I'm hilarious!) on writing Jeff across the trilogy, and as time has gone on I've been trying to convince myself that it's okay to have my turn at doing that, too - albeit in a non-professional capacity. So... Let's get into my interpretation of Jeff, where his stuff comes from on my view, and how things went to get him to where we are at the beginning of ME3, where the romance can occur.

A lot of how I interpret him comes from experiences in my own life with my own issues, and with those of my loved ones, some of whom are physically disabled in similar (but not identical) ways to Jeff. Some of this carries an element of catharsis for me.

Mechanically and narratively speaking, what draws me to writing this romance is the contrast between how these two characters are strong. It's this core idea that strength doesn't have only one manifestation in a person. That loving somebody doesn't have to be done only one way, that it can be beautiful and passionate and fulfilling - even if, when it gets physical, the headboard can't exactly be made to shatter with the force of it all. For me, it's also an exercise in insecurity and dealing with feelings of frustrated inadequacy - something that has plagued me my whole life.

Yes, yes, he's fictional - but the only way for me to really get into a character is to think about them as if they're a real being. When I look at Jeff as a person, I see many things... Some very positive, some pretty negative... I try to see him as a complete person with strengths and flaws.

On the surface he is often defensive, dismissive, sarcastic, and emotionally avoidant. But why is that? He is highly skilled, dedicated and capable, and knows it, but at the same time is a person who is constantly overlooked, underestimated, and asked to work thrice as hard to get the same considerations. Even then, his validity is questioned often by almost everyone around him. Over time, combined with the realities of living with his physical condition, this has given him some deep-seated insecurities. He feels the need to brag about his skills because they are, ultimately, the one thing about himself that he is absolutely certain has real worth. He overcompensates for this by abusing rules and technicalities wherever he can, because I think he knows that if he played life by the rules, he'd never have gotten anywhere. It's a stacked deck, so why not hide some aces up his sleeve? When you don't fit in the box provided, you question the value of every box you see.

When a person lives with this long enough, it can get hard to swim against the tide of society's expectations and still remain chipper about it, let alone not internalise some of it. It can cause a person to create a shell constructed out of distrust and untruth.

Living with a disability can really suck sometimes, and the suck is compounded when having to deal with your own frustrations plus those of others. In my personal experience, that happens a lot.

There is a certain sense of alienation that it can create, and it can become a kind of Sword of Damocles. It can be easier to anticipate rejection and others' assumptions, inabilities to understand or relate than to keep reaching out, only to have the same tired conversations about being different. I see a lot of this in him. I understand the chip he has on his shoulder.

I also see an extremely sensitive, empathetic, devoted and boundlessly loving person under all that. In fact, it's because of these things that I think he actively tries to distance himself. At the core of his being, I see Jeff as somebody who loves quickly and completely. I think he sees that as a vulnerability, incompatible with what he's learned he has to do to survive... and also with the machismo thing that comes with being a pilot. I think on some level he's terrified of that about himself, but he also can't help it. Jeff is ride or die. So, he tells himself he doesn't care and never lets anyone in. Any time anyone showed interest, he'd shut them down, alienate them, distance himself, and get in the seat of something that flies.

I think up until now, (ME3) he's seen intimacy both as a thing he longs for, but is also afraid of because of his fundamental knowledge that he is different. He thinks he can't "measure up" to what he sees all around him. He sees romance as something that will lead to his inevitable rejection and being crushed, emotionally - and if he's not careful, physically, too. I think he's embarrassed about that as well. He's very interested where it comes to all that, but the things he likes to watch, he knows he can't do like that. His only experience is second-hand as a voyeur, so some of his perceptions about that are unhealthy for him. I think any kind of attempt by the medical professionals in his life to broach the topic and offer support on, he's angrily changed the subject, or stopped listening to, because of the entire mess above. I think Jeff is kind of a lonely person, and some of it is self-imposed, though the reasons for him thinking it's the right thing to do aren't all within his control.

All this is difficult for him to reconcile with, because he has been desperately in love with his commanding officer since almost the moment s/he met him, but entirely unprepared to face it.

I think at first it was easy for him to dismiss it as a stupid crush. Everyone gets them when cramped up in close quarters in stressful situations and the Commander's magnetism was hard to ignore. But then it became clear that Shepard really hadn't read his file and really hadn't made any assumptions at all about him. S/he just wanted to know him, and as time progressed and that actually bore out, it got hard not to really feel something powerful, even though s/he was the Commander and it wasn't strictly appropriate to think that way. But, then there was that thing about not fitting in the box provided...

I think he agonised over coming to Shepard with it, but ultimately decided it would be selfish with everything they were going through. I think there was a part of him that decided s/he'd never be interested anyway, not when there were other, healthier people to choose from... People who didn't have these hangups or need special accommodations made for them. I think he decided to keep it to himself, for what he felt was both their sakes.

If/When the Commander quietly hooked up with someone else, I think he had a lot of feelings all at once. On the one hand, the person he cared for most was finding some peace in all the craziness. On the other, he wished that particular brand of peace was shared with him. Most of the time there were more important things to worry about, but during downtime, I think it was on his mind a lot.

I think he feels very sheepish about it, but occasionally his jealousy got the better of him and he interrupted Shepard at moments that got too hard to watch on the security cams. He watched the cams around the ship lot, and listened in on all the others a fair bit. I think because he saw himself as being at a remove from most people in a lot of ways, it was easy to justify that to himself. I think he saw it kind of like listening to a podcast or a soap opera or... Nature documentary, almost, or something. He got to know all of them in this way... Parasocially at first, but gradually, socially too. He felt better about trying, because he had this secret edge. Not the greatest stuff he's ever done, but... Complete person. Strengths and flaws.

And then, the unthinkable happened. He couldn't accept that the ship was dying. He was sure he could save it... But when Shepard's hand touched his shoulder, when s/he'd come back for him, he knew it was over. And then, it really was over. Shepard paid the price for his arrogance. The person he wanted to protect the most spun off out into space. The communicator between his mask and that helmet was still in range for long enough that he could hear the choking. For a long time afterward, even hearing people cough made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

The Alliance grounded him. I don't think he even had the capacity to be mad about it. I think that was a hard time for Jeff. I think between being burdened with the knowledge of the Reapers, the loss of Shepard, and the weight of his guilt, he was pretty close to the very, very edge when Cerberus knocked on his door and made him a bunch of promises. Pretty sure those promises had nothing to do with leather seats and everything to do with Project Lazarus. I'm very sure that the promise of Shepard coming back is the reason he even let Cerberus pay for the surgeries he agreed to undergo, because I don't think he valued himself much at all at that point. I'm pretty sure it was being ready to help Shepard that he was thinking about when he was learning to walk on his painful legs without crutches for the very first time. When Cerberus offered him a big shiny reset button I think he took it without hesitation because there wasn't anything else to hope for. I think seeing Shepard in the docking bay galvanised him and without ever telling them so, he pledged his life to them even harder than before. I think he told himself that he would support Shepard in every way he could. He would go wherever, do whatever, and when dealing with him, try to give them what he knew they needed; a goddamn break.

So, fast forward again, and now we are here. With all of this in mind... Shepard might have had a dalliance with someone else, or might've been too damaged by their previous love interest on Horizon, or whatever. Either way, I think Jeff saw it as not his business to even dream about that. I think the guilt tore him up every time he looked at Shepard. I think he felt like on some level, he deserved the pain of unrequited feelings which only ever got more intense. If he didn't think himself worthy of it back then, doubly so now. I think during the six months of house arrest, he tried to visit, but the Alliance denied his every attempt. Then the attack on Earth happened.

And so now we have Jeff, who, just like other humans is confused and groping about for a sense of what's up and what's down. Fortunately for him, Shepard is part of that sense of stability. He's just better at hiding it, because avoiding it and telling himself to focus elsewhere is second nature to him by this point. But things are a little different, now. Shepard seems looking around for a connection too. Future days seem short in number and the rulebook less and less important by the minute. Denying it to himself becomes impossible, and even EDI prods him about it. Shepard won't stop being so goddamn nice to him and even responds with things that if he didn't know better, he could interpret as... But then all the old insecurities come rushing back and he's walking on his own damn eggshells again. Fuck it. It's time to admit it. To come clean. S/he has to know.

So he asks. And s/he accepts. He's equal parts thrilled, stunned and terrified. He's even on some level, suspicious. Is s/he setting him up for a fall? Are they angry about his responsibility? What do they want out of this, actually? He hasn't explained what it'd be like. That what they're doubtlessly expecting of him is unrealistic. That he's completely inexperienced. I think at this point, he's a bit pissed off with himself and feeling a lot of dread because he's pretty sure how this is going to go. He realises he's got so caught up in it that he's done things in the wrong order. Damage control. He has to talk with Shepard and explain what s/he should expect from him, because it will be different. Manage expectations because he's had to manage his own. He goes in steeled.

But s/he knows it will be different, it turns out. As ever, Shepard has made no assumptions whatsoever. S/he only wants to get to know him. Wants him for everything he is, and accepts what he is not. It was never an issue for them beyond understanding how to work with it, because he is worthy just as he is, and has worked hard enough. He has to teach them about his limitations, about underestimating and overestimating... But where there's a will, there's a way. Time for a few shared moments of peace before the end of days, and through all the craziness, something feels right at last. He feels safe enough to let Shepard in properly. Thus begins his reassessment of himself and reckoning with letting go of the insecurities he has that aren't actually his own, but come from outside.

Also he totally gets to sext the Commander now when s/he's on missions. Nice.

So. There's a lot more I could say and expound upon but it's been hours and I have stuff to do. That's my direction. It's not going to suit everyone, and I doubt I can get everything across... But I'll try. I'm just one person, with just one perspective, with just one version of this story. But I hope people like what I come up with surrounding this framework, because I have lived a lot of it myself. Just a few less Reapers in my version. Not everyone's experiences and responses will be the same.

[murder-raven13]

My Haikyuu Ships pt. 2

A/N: This is the continuation of my Haikyuu ships and the reason I ship them. 

Warning(s): cursing, somehow these kind of turned into small relationship headcanons for some of them, not proofread, looooong

Word Count: 2,373

Part 1 Part 3

Yaku x Lev

Honestly, the height different is a big deal for me. So fucking cute, like...just what? Plus, Yaku is a grumpy smol and Lev is a happy toll and I just-

But Yaku is grumpy chaotic and Lev is puppy [and a little oblivious] chaotic and them together is just adorable chaotic. Lev irritates Yaku so much in the beginning [which, like, understandable; Lev’s a cocky idiot], but manages to learn how to deal with him. Develops an exasperated fondness for the giant. Lev learns how to control himself a little because of Yaku [this is partly because now Lev has a singular target for his mischief]. They’re just so cute and Yaku is so done [was highkey mad at himself when he caught feelings]. Lev was definitely to type to fall in love at first sight. 

Suga x Oikawa

Okay, Okay, so like I don’t know how this one started for me. But I love them, okay? They don’t like each other at first because they’re rivals, not just because they’re on different teams but because they’re both setters. But then Oikawa also thinks Suga is unfairly pretty [who doesn’t?] and Suga returns the sentiment [the level of pretty in this relationship should be illegal; it has reached critical mass]. And then Oikawa finds that Suga is an instigating little gremlin who physically abuses people as a form of affection. And Suga finds that Oikawa is super dedicated and a literal perfect director when it comes to people [he can literally make anyone sing any tune he wants with his smile]. So, these two get along like a house on fire. Two manipulative meanies. They get into so much mischief together [Iwaizumi swears he’s going to kill them or himself]. But they also are just really soft. Like, Oikawa will burrow himself into Suga’s side no matter where there are or what position they’re in [clingy baby]. And Suga will bury his hands in Oikawa’s sweater whenever they’re cold [loves the way Oikawa will shriek if he touches his skin with his cold hands]. They leave sticky notes in each other’s bags or random places for the other to find [eventually] with little compliments or things on them. Just, they’re conniving, adorable bastards and I hate them. 

Terushima x Daichi

This is another one where I don’t know where the fuck it came from. I’m not even sure I have a reason behind this other than Terushima being a smug asshole and Daichi having none of it. Terushima is a ball of reckless energy and he doesn’t take anything seriously despite being ridiculously intelligent [boy is in Class 7]. And Daichi, bless his soul, is a dad. All he does is take shit seriously and chorale reckless idiots onto the right path. So, when they get together, Terushima ensures that Daichi lets loose and doesn’t forget to take care of himself [by making sure he’s not too stressed or overworking himself]. And Daichi is, like, all of Terushima’s impulse control. Honestly the only reason Terushima doesn’t die. So, they keep each other on track and make sure that each is happy and doing their best. Just a very chill, well-balanced couple. 

Ushijima x Tendou

These are both my babies and I cannot with them. Their cuteness hurts me. Ushijima is so stoic and so single-mindedly dedicated to the things that matter to him and the list of things that matter to him is short: volleyball, his family, and Tendou. That’s it. Man is legit just completely dedicated to Tendou, no questions asked, would help him bury a body. But he sucks at communication and showing his emotions. And that’s never been a problem with Tendou. Tendou never got tired of talking to him, never stopped trying to include him, was never bothered by how little Ushijima talked and Ushijima literally loves this man so much. And Tendou, my adorable little baby, was so lonely and so insecure. He expected everyone to judge him for his appearance or to leave him because he’s annoying or a freak. But Ushijima literally does not care about Tendou’s looks not being conventional; he thinks he’s attractive all the same and has no problem telling Tendou this. And Ushijima has made a sustained effort to interact with Tendou’s interests because he knows it makes Tendou happy [Tendou talks to him about his interests, so Ushijima makes sure he knows all of them so these conversations can happen]. Just, they’re so perfect, I can’t.

Tendou x Semi

Big, energetic Tendou with grumpy, stoic Semi. Gives me life. Semi acts irritated with Tendou’s antics, but he loves them, really. And Tendou knows it, too. Teasing little shit; Semi never gets a break. Tendou helps Semi whenever he’s feeling down because he’s not doing as well as he hoped [Semi wants to be the best but being the best is hard]. And Semi helps Tendou remember that opinions don’t matter; that he likes Tendou for all those weird, annoying qualities Tendou sometimes hates. They’re very sweet and, surprisingly, Semi is the one that initiates most serious physical contact [he initiates their first kiss, their first real hug, their first cuddle session, their first time, all of it] because Tendou wants to make sure that everything is going at Semi’s pace since Semi isn’t as comfortable with touch or intimacy. A very sweet, yet playful couple. 

Shirabu x Goshiki

The small, itty-bitty amount of information I’ve been given about these boys is criminal. But I’ve seen enough to ship this. Goshiki is overzealous and a people pleaser; he just wants to be good enough to be great. One of the ones that wants to prove himself more than anything else. Praise is received extremely well. Shirabu, on the other hand, wants the opposite. He doesn’t want to be the best, he doesn’t want to be the one everyone relies on. He wants to be more of an invisible support beam, a minor cog in an overall grand and powerful machine. He’s not very forthcoming with his emotion, unless that emotion is annoyance or disdain. Goshiki tries to be cool, but can’t really keep his emotions in check very well. So, they, as a couple, play a kind of tug-of-war. Goshiki constantly pulls for more and Shirabu constantly pulls for less, which keeps the two of them balanced, putting out just enough that they’re constantly improving, just in subtle ways instead of grandiose ones. Shirabu tries to pretend he’s not a softie, but he is [only for Goshiki, though, who basks in the little moments Shirabu lets him have of uninhabited affection, whose rarity makes them worth the world to Goshiki]. 

Nishinoya x Tsukishima

This one came about because of the lowkey abusive relationship Noya has with Tsukishima. Noya is like 5′2 and Tsukki is like a whole foot taller. Yet Noya can and will stand up to Tsukki and let him know when he’s being an ass, physical methods used as necessary [most of this is limited to hitting his side or messing with his glasses if Tsukki’s face is within reach]. Noya will also mock Tsukki, playfully, and reminds him of his age, which is good for Tsukki because he’s chronically withering inside his little tsundre shell. Noya is also highkey really supportive. Whenever Tsukki does something good, no matter how subtle it is, Noya is there to give him recognition for it, which, again, reminds Tsukki that he can be nicer and that Noya can see him even when he’s trying to hide. And Noya has fun with Tsukki because he keeps him on his toes; they have a fun relationship built of just the right amount of trust and ‘lets remember to have fun’.

Daichi x Kuroo

My captain babes. Daichi and Kuroo both have very forthcoming personalities. But Kuroo is much better at remembering that it’s important he acts goofy and stupid sometimes because he’s a student, a kid, and carry a lot of stress. Daichi isn’t so good at this. He’s gotten so used to dealing with reckless children that need him to be a serious iron fist that he’s forgotten that he needs to let go sometimes and that that’s okay. Kuroo helps him remember this. And their relationship is built around understanding. When one needs help or a little space to deal with their serious stuff, the other is right there to be the pillar they need. If they need to goof around and forget a little, they’re there and prepped with hot chocolate and bad trivia games that Daichi sucks at. When they’re both stressed under piles of work, they never forget the other. They’ll sit next to each other at the table, on the bed, on the couch, the floor, with their legs or their shoulders or their feet lightly touching, just as a reminder that they’re there. If one falls asleep, the other will save their work and haul them to bed because sleeping slumped over isn’t any good. Out of my ships, this is definitely one of the best, in terms of matching and functionality as a serious couple. 

Kuroo x Bokuto

They’re relationship isn’t as serious. Bokuto is a refugee for Kuroo, a place where he can unapologetically turn his brain off. He doesn’t have to be a captain or responsible or the top of his class. He can just be Kuroo and Bokuto has fun with him. They go on adventures and play volleyball together, experimenting with new moves or ideas all the time. Definitely the couple that would regularly go to the amusement park or the fair. Kuroo gives Bokuto his undivided attention whenever they’re together and spoils the hell out of him and Bokuto’s mood swings don’t bother him, he knows what to do. Boys are very committed to each other; they can’t imagine ever not being together because their relationship is just so fun and comfortable. It’s safe and loving, without a doubt, because they are, first and foremost, best friends. 

Yaku x Kuroo

Hated each other at first because their middle school teams were rivals. And Yaku’s a grumpy little gremlin that can be a little too serious sometimes. But that’s just until he relaxes. Once he’s comfortable with people, he gets a lot less serious and just a little less grumpy [he’s an angry smol and my mind cannot be changed]. But he loves Kuroo. Can’t help snorting at Kuroo’s god awful chemistry pickup lines; they’re just that bad. He loves them, though. And he can throw them right back. They have chemistry and physics debates all the time, often while doing something completely non-serious, like Twister or that headband game. Kenma can’t stand being around them because they throw insults at each other like they’re compliments, loving voices and touches and all. Kuroo is always touching Yaku, will literally reach for him completely subconsciously, a fact Yaku mocks him ruthlessly for despite that fact that he always adjusts himself to fit the contact better [because he’s just as clingy as Kuroo, just not as openly]. Sickeningly cute behind closed doors, only mildly affectionate in public. 

Oikawa x Kuroo

A couple that met later in life. I ship them as college students, to be honest. But they would be cute. Kuroo is goofy and a science nerd; Oikawa would alien talk him into a stupor. Iwaizumi is just glad he is no longer the sole participant in Oikawa’s space conversations. These two would casually come up with plans to demolish their opponent’s spirit and have fun doing it. Plot murder together on a regular Tuesday night. Would definitely be able to calm the other down when they began to take shit too far. 

Ushijima x Oikawa

[Can y’all tell I’m a whore for the enemies to lovers trope?]

Ushijima is a huge ball of attractive stoic that doesn’t know how to properly act on his feelings. Has always admired Oikawa as a setter [legit has crushed on this boy since the first time they plated a game together in middle school and Oikawa vowed to beat him]. Ushijima has no problem telling Oikawa how much he admires his playing, his skill, and his determination to win no matter what. Oikawa had no idea in high school that Ushijima’s interactions with him were Ushijima’s way of showing he liked him. He saw it as antagonization because Ushijima thought he was better [Ushijima thought they would have been their best together]. His growing feelings for Ushijima forced Oikawa to face some of his own securities and grow as a person. Had to go through almost an entire identity crisis when he realized he was in love with Ushijima of all people. Iwaizumi wanted to throw his entire phone away Oikawa called him to whine so much. And Oikawa’s lack of understanding Ushijima’s advances forced Ushijima to become more adept at reading others and expressing his own feelings in a concise, clear way. 

Kenma x Yamamoto

This is my favorite Kenma ship and one of my favorite overall ships. Let me tell you why. I did not ship them until season 4 because I didn’t know much about their relationship until then. But Tora and Kenma are another set that didn’t get along at first. Their personalities makes them natural antagonists to the other. Yamamoto is a try hard and always gives 120% in everything he does. Kenma is the type to give a very efficient 70%, meaning that he finds the best ways to get the same results 100% would have gotten, just without as much work put into it. And they have such a grudging respect for the other at first, once they begin to come to terms with the other. That respect grows and becomes the foundation for their relationship. They know that the other is going to do their job and they’re going to do it well. They have complete faith in the other and when they work together, their personalities become magnified. Kenma relies on Tora to be forthcoming and Tora expects Kenma to find the best way to do things. They just, they’re perfect, and I love them. Please, why is there so little content for this ship?

On that note, Imma end this. There will probably most definitely be a part 3 to this because I don’t have free time, but that’s never stopped me. 

[assortedmutts]

A X for the whole cast

Valentine’s headcanon meme.

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

Merc: affection, to him, means trust and loyalty above all. He likes for his partner to be able to rely on him, no matter what - be it in providing them with protection, comfort or support. He’ll lend them an ear and a shoulder to cry on and provide them with whatever acts of service he can think of - bring them food, take care of them (best he can) when they’re down, handle their enemies if such exist, back them up on anything and everything. Sometimes, it can be something as simple as removing their shoes from their feet after a long day, ironing their clothes, tidying up, or pampering them in bed if they’re up for it.

He’ll start taking pictures of places around the world that make him think of them, or buy them gifts. He likes putting thought into these and making sure they’re something special - something no one else would have thought to give them, a reference to a private joke or story, or something you cannot find anywhere else in the world.

Another way for Merc to display trust is that he gradually becomes more verbal and shares with them that way, be it in expressing his opinions or sharing stories from his past. Likewise, he’ll gradually become more comfortable with physical touch, and especially enjoys PDA (when he’s otherwise a very private person and likely would not have been seen with them publicly). He also likes taking them to his favorite spots around the city/country/world (depending on their mobility, I guess): skyscraper rooftops, places with pretty scenery, abandoned buildings that are fun to explore, his favorite food joints, markets, clubs, or the aviary where he keeps his pigeons. Anywhere that’s touched him or is dear to him in some way or another. 

Job: so much physical contact and PDA. He’s gonna have a hand on his partner wherever they are, whatever they’re doing, and he’s going to want to kiss them all the time. Likewise: all the sex they can possibly keep up with. Job’s sex drive is high at any given time and is his go-to way of showing affection, and it only becomes higher when he develops romantic feelings for another person. He’s also a service top through and through and will gladly do whatever his partner wants to please them. 

His loved ones are always on his mind and he likes showing them that whichever way he can: collecting little gifts for them from along the road, trinkets and jewelry/items of clothing from thrift shops, flowers he picks and dries among the pages of his books/journal, pretty rocks and seashells, etc. Since he’s unable to communicate with them regularly while he’s on the road, Job also likes writing to his partners - letters, postcards, love songs (which he will occasionally compose and perform for them upon his return). In addition to all the found/purchased gifts, Job’s favorite form of gift-giving is creating handmade things for his partners, if and when he can (say, if he’s working in construction and has access to woodworking tools). He may create little statues for them of things they like, pieces of jewelry or handy stuff for their home/kitchen like wooden bowls or chopping boards.

Additionally, he just loves hanging out with his favorite people and find activities for them to do together: he’ll take them out on picnics (both day and night; nothing more romantic than dinner under the open night skies), little concerts at parks or dive bars, thrift-shopping, etc., and there will always be food involved in these activities to some capacity or another. Little brings Job more joy than feeding his loved ones, and he will absolutely try to fatten them up with his home cooking if he can.

Saul: as he’s never been in love or involved in a romantic relationship, his means of showing affection lean more towards the platonic side. Like Job, Saul very much enjoys cooking for his loved ones and will happily labor in the kitchen the entire day just to see them enjoy their meal by the end of it, and he loves it all the more if/when they want to participate. He likes to include them in his family traditions if they’re not already part of them, such as inviting them over for Shabbos dinner or a major Jewish holiday and offer for them to partake by helping him recite prayers/practice rituals/even something as simple as offer them a yarmulke or head scarf so that they may show their respect to the occasion. While it’s worth nothing that he will respect their wishes if they don’t want to participate, it’ll likely be very difficult to impossible for him to maintain a romantic relationship with someone who never wishes to partake in his culture.

On the odd occasion that he does go on a date (more like did - don’t think he’s been on a date in, like, 10 years), Saul prefers to use his playing field (Manhattan) to his benefit - take his dates out for walks around Central Park (the High Line is also a favorite, especially at night), visit the MoMA or the Guggenheim, chat over a bottle of red wine and share a few courses in some cute little bistros he knows (LBR, he’s likely friends with the owners and gets to have some special shots/dishes sent over free of charge). 

It may also sound a bit funny but, Saul likes arguing? Maybe not arguing so much as debating. It’s no small part of Jewish culture and he loves sharp people who can keep up with his intellect and will always do his best to challenge them. Catch him debating something entirely theoretical and/or nonsensical to death just for the hell of it, just to see who can win the argument. On a similar note and, though he’s never done it before, he’ll also likely enjoy taking his date to his casino and watch them gamble the night away (wouldn’t mind paying for it, either). Bonus points if his date knows poker or blackjack and can challenge him at the table.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Merc: as is always the case with this edgelord, the answer is: outwardly no, but secretly yes. Obviously, pet names suggest an intimate relationship, which Merc very much prefers to avoid for obvious reasons.

He does appreciate being called pet names in both platonic and romantic relationships and is an absolute sucker for anything soft a partner might call him, such as baby, angel, princess etc., because he’s so often regarded as tough, monstrous, etc., and because his true identity is obviously a touchy subject. But it’s also worth mentioning that words - and names, at that, their meaning and the way that they’re used - mean a great deal to Merc, and that there’s value and intimacy in his friends and partners calling him by his real name. As he often introduces himself under either an alias or a nickname (even before he became Merc, he’s had more nicknames than he can count on both hands), this is a very rare occurrence and, depending on the circumstances, it could be either comforting or terrifying to be addressed by his real name.

With regards to his own use of pet names, he is far likelier to use derogatory terms as terms of endearment rather than actual pet names: rather than call someone baby or angel or what have you, he’s far more likely to call them a bitch, cunt, dickhead, cocksucker, etc. Helps ignore or come to terms with the level of intimacy that a pet name suggests if it’s derogatory or funny. He also often does the opposite and uses terms of endearment as derogatory terms - calling people darling, sweetheart etc. as a means of humiliating them and showing his disrespect.

With that said, though, it’s not beyond him to eventually drop the facade and use actual pet names for loved ones - namely love, pet, darling and sweetheart.

Job: yes to both!!! So much!!! He’s likely to address people by their official title upon introduction, as per his country manners, but he absolutely loves both using and being called pet names by friends, family and partners alike. Even in casual conversation, he’s likely to address someone as man, girl or dude (dude is used for all genders and is hence his go-to) rather than use their actual names. As for his partners, he tends not to prefer one particular pet name and will call them anything that he can possibly think of: darling, sweetheart, honey, sugar, baby... you get the gist. He also likes to play off of people’s names and create cater-made nicknames just for them.

Saul: yes, absolutely, and you can rest assured that they will be Yiddish pet names more often than not. His father used to do this all the time and, the older Saul gets, the more he takes after Menash, especially when it comes to speech patterns. I.e., he’ll often refer to Jess as boychik (as Menash used to refer to him). Among his favorite terms to use are zeeskeit (sweetness), sheifale (lamb), bubbeleh (doll), libe/r (love, female/male), oyster (treasure) and ketsele (kitten).

[spnfanficpond]

April 2020 Angel Fish Awards

(New Angel Fish design by @slytherkins!!)

Every month all of you fantastic writers work your asses off to post some truly incredible stories. Our Angel Fish Awards are the way for all of us, as a community of writers and readers, to lift each other up and give praise to those who have captured our attention and deserve a few kind words.

The monthly Angel Fish Awards are peer-nominated, meaning ANYONE IN THE POND CAN NOMINATE ANY POND MEMBER’S FIC. While the Pond was founded to support the Guppies, everyone in this community deserves to be showered with love and feedback, and we hope that by opening this up as a Pond wide system, we’ll be able to share the love as far as it can go.

NOTE: WE’VE BEEN HAVING OCCASIONAL PROBLEMS WITH ASKS GOING MISSING. Please use the Submit button when submitting your nominations and make sure you’re signed into Tumblr or your URL won’t show. (If the form asks for your name and email address, then you’re not signed in.) If you like, you can also send a message to Michelle @mrswhozeewhatsis or Mana @manawhaat to check and make sure we got your submission.

**Also, due to the number of afas and multiple nominations, each person on this list will only be tagged once. Please be sure to read the entire post so you don’t miss multiple nominations/comments!**

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, HERE ARE APRIL’S ANGEL FISH AWARDS!

Nominated by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Slow (oneshot) by @sunlightdances

Intimacy is sooooo sexy xox

Nominated by @manawhaat

Ritual (oneshot) by @winchester-fantasies

This fic is grounded, subtle, realistic, and has an incredible energy between Dean and the reader! There’s so many little things that play into the bigger picture to make this really flow and work seamlessly as a whole!

Temporary Scars (series) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Fucking hell. Dean x Donna x Benny is such a rare pair that it’s NOT something I knew I needed, but everything about this dynamic is fucking perfect. It’s a bit of an AU, but I still love the way each character was represented. What they all brought to the table and how they balanced each other out in exactly the ways they needed. There’s a dynamic here that I haven’t seen before, especially not with THESE characters, and they complement each other fucking GORGEOUSLY! 

Boyking fic (oneshot) by @whispersandwhiskerburn

This shit is fucking CRAFTY! There’s a lot of little things that carry through this and the way that ‘control’ is presented in each scene of this fic is very cool. 

Calm (series) by @winchesterswoonathon

Oof! This John series just totally fucks me up. It’s perfect in the way you swoon over him and yearn to see a side of him he so rarely shows others. Maggie definitely knows how to nail the pining for John angle! 

Dream Drabble (oneshot) by @theychosefamily

Sam’s comfort and sincerity in this kill me! It may have been inspired by a dream, but this tracks so well for each of them and could definitely be a scene plucked from the show! 

The Unexpected (oneshot) by @impalaimagining

Goddamn this is sexy as all hell! It’s intense and passionate and scary and dazzlingly wonderful! 

Nominated by @flamencodiva

Three’s A Crowd (series) by @1000roughdrafts

So I was browsing Kay’s Masterlist and came upon this very lovely Gem! I would love to see what happens next and I know Kay is extremely busy, but she is a talented writer and I wanted to put this lovely work out there. It is a wonderful concept and I can’t wait to see what happens!

Just Me & My Baby (oneshot) by @deanwinchesterswitch

A good way to rot your teeth with Dean fluff. This story pulls on your heartstrings and can be just what you need when you feel down.  

The Pact (series) by @coffee-obsessed-writer

This is an amazing AU Sam Fic! It is well written and traps you into the fantasy world from the very beginning. I can’t wait to see the roller coaster that is this story as it is beginning to unfold! 

Nominated by @deanwanddamons

The Sullivan Series (series) by @katehuntington​

I binge read this series and adore it. Zoe is such a badass and an awesome OFC.

It is so good it could easily be written as a series of SPN and I am really hoping it is continued as I can’t wait for the next series. Kate is such an awesome person, hugely supportive and a big influence on me as a writer. This series deserves so much more recognition.

Ride With Me (seires) by @katehuntington

This series is divine. I am so invested in this right now. The way Kate writes is a true inspiration to me and this AU is stunning. Her story telling and descriptions are totally immersive and I am so excited to see where she takes us on this journey.

He’s Not You (series) by @mummybear​

This series is awesome! It’s really building momentum and I’m loving where it’s going. Such a great idea for a story and can’t wait to see where Chelsea takes us!

The Man on the Side of the Road (series) by @supernatural-jackles​

This series was beautiful. I was so invested in this and so sad when it came it an end. It was very cathartic for me to read as I related to the reader so much.

Shatter Me (series) by  @winchest09​

This series is incredible. Such a superb concept and I love the way it has been written. The feeling of isolation and Dean’s desperation to save her had me engrossed all the way through. A must read.

D.W. (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage​

I have recently ventured into dark fic and was recommended this.

Demon!Dean is just 🔥 and this fic is dark, sexy and very explicit. And holy shit I LOVED IT!

Nominated by @moosekateer13​

House of the Rising Sun (series) by @kittenofdoomage

What I really loved about it shows the love can change your whole perspective of the world when love is thrown into the mix.  

The Ones You Love (series) by @kittenofdoomage

It shows how far the Winchester's are willing go when it comes to their family.  

Cosa Nostra (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved how in the end love and their bond was stronger than an obstacles that were thrown in their way.

Paid In Full (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Loved it! It taught you look past what you see at first.   

Poor Little Rich Girl (series) by @winchesterprincessbride​

Love how it showed the money is isn't everything love is more important.  

Political Animals  (series) by @winchesterprincessbride

Loved the sometimes it showed the its better to break away from people who are trying to control your life.  

Bed of Roses (series) by @crispychrissy​

Loved how it to taught you to look past first impressions and that there is always more than meets the eye.

Nominated by @thegirlwhorunswithwinchesters​

Control and Release - 30 (series) by @thecleverdame​

I think I might’ve nominated this series before, when I wasn’t caught up yet, but I am now and I just have to recommend this chapter. The entire story is gold but this chapter in particular had me sucked right into the scene at the end. The intensity of the fight and the way they deal with everything that is going on; the emotions, the worlds outside of their little bubble of safety. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it for whoever hasn’t read this series yet. But, if you are one of those people, I highly recommend you change that ASAP.

The Secrets We Keep (series) by @princessmisery666​

Better late than never, right? At least that’s what I’m telling myself to ease the guilt I’m feeling for how long it took me to finally read this series like I said I would. I didn’t enjoy it any less, that’s for sure. And that was even before I got to the twist that made it even better. I loved the vulnerability between Sam and Erin, and the different kind of friendship she had with Dean.

Cabin Fever (long oneshot) by @slytherkins​

I’ve already attempted (and failed) to express my thoughts on this story to the author privately, so I won’t try again here, in risk of my heart shattering all over again. But what I definitely will say (and I will break into my upstairs neighbor’s apartment to scream it from their balcony if I have to) is this: STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING and go read this fic if you haven’t already. It’s a heavy read, yes. But it is more than worth it, I promise you.

Equanimous (oneshot) by @imagineteamfreewill​

I love the tension in this scene. The boys are so in character and I could picture the demons perfectly. And, of course, Cas storming in, being badass, and saving the day, that’s always a plus.

Non-existent (oneshot) by @waywardjoy​

I’m definitely a sucker for a good crack-fic. To be honest, when I read the summary I was already sold. That signature bickering between the boys never gets old, does it?

Nominated by @impalaimagining

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Physically speaking, on the list of things I love about Dean Winchester, this checks almost every single box. I love the little things you’re noticing about Dean as the reader - his freckles, the contrast between his skin and the black shirt he’s wearing, exactly which Zeppelin song he’s singing while he works. The teasing is a nice touch too, especially the line about the night before. Proud Dean is so cute, and it’s exactly how I would expect him to react to being the hero around the house.

Nominated by @impala-dreamer

Almost Paradise (oneshot) by @amanda-teaches​ 

Amanda always always writes the fluff so well, but this little bit of bittersweet longing is delicious. Also, she nails Dean EVERY TIME. One of those writers who just gets Dean’s voice down so perfectly. Very Very well done!

Enough Time (oneshot)  by @dissect-me​ 

I was just scrolling the pond list and found this wonderful Destiel fic. I mean… the emotions were intense and I was a mess by the end. Just lovely and so well done. I will be diving back through their masterlist for more Destiel!!

  Nominated by @kittenofdoomage

Life For Rent (series) by @winchest09

@katehuntington told me to go read this so I did and I do not regret it. An amazingly sexy (and at times, heartbreaking) series, not for the faint of heart. Totally waiting on edge for the next chapter.

Call Of The Ocean (series) by @flamencodiva and @anatheweirdo​

I’m fairly certain I’ve nominated this before but it’s so good, I’m gonna nominate it again. You will absolutely become invested in Thasman’s well-being.

Nominated by @fangirlxwritesx67​

Communion (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield

But Dean’s natural state is this – nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm. He speaks softly and quietly. His voice isn’t always rough and hard. He sings. MY FEELS. This is beautiful and heart-wrenching all at once.

Sex with Dean is always really good. A lot of times it’s a rushed, life-affirming kind of thing. So when we have time, every touch is at once charged and grounded. And when we have time and are also able to imbibe? It’s metamorphic. All of this, just one perfect line after another. WOW

Just to be his in our own little bubble. And this, this is exactly how this story feels- so close and heavy and perfect Amazing work,.Like, really astounding.

Synesthesia (oneshot) by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Lou took this prompt and did something wildly creative! It’s so well done that the reader can see and feel and taste it.

Wild Thing (series) by @there-must-be-a-lock

I am in love with the Everything series so, so much. Lou has done a beautiful job of building a world with J2 x reader, so loving and creative and hot. This one is, for sure, a favorite! Incorporates one of my favorite quotes into a smoking hot fic. Good work!!

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional​

But there’s one particular Other Dean, a favorite one his mind drifts to during rare peaceful moments. Daydreaming when he should be researching, drifting off when a particular song plays on the radio while he’s working on Baby, even washing his hands sometimes will pull him back to those dreams.

6 paragraphs in, and I knew Val was going to break my heart. This is a gorgeous gorgeous story! Creative premise, great characterization, and written so that you can see and taste and feel every moment.

I found myself wanting to both read faster, and slow down and savor it. And yes, it broke my heart, but so beautifully that I would let it happen over and over again.

Weight (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter​

This one is short and both painful and beautiful. So very heavy with experience and meaning. An excellent example of the ways that our favorite characters can help inspire us, lift us and encourage us to keep going

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords​

Kathy is new-ish to the SPN family but not to either writing or fandom, and it is immediately apparent in her first piece of SPN fanfic. Her creative storyline, her grasp of the characters, and her way with words make it immediately apparent that you are reading the work of a master!

Salvation (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence​

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left. These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar. The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose? This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam! It’s easy to forget sometimes what a fearsome hunter he is, but this author reminds us with razor sharp clarity.

“You’re safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me.“ Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It’s no wonder he’s fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action and some sweet hotness! Plus the author does such a good job with Sam, I’m in love with him all over again. I haven’t read this author much before but you’d better believe I won’t miss a story now!

Casual Affair (oneshot) by @fookinghelljensensthighs​

This Dean x Benny fic is short, smoking hot and painfully good. A must read!

Nominated by @mariekoukie6661​

The Force of Habit (series) by @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ 

I read that series at least 3 times now. I love this story, its witty and funny. This fic just makes me smile without trying! Even after reading 3 times, I still thoroughly enjoyed it like it was the first time.  

Satisfied (series) by @crashdevlin​

This is so good, the emotion that this series makes me feel is just out of this world!

Dangerous Signs (series) by @kittenofdoomage

Rhi always has brilliant idea!!! This is one of those and I just can’t get enough of her writing.

Control and Release (series) by @thecleverdame

What start as mostly just porn turned into such a great series with twist and turns!

Hunger (oneshot0 by @impala-dreamer

Oof… what to say about this? it’s Beka! It’s hot and sweaty and makes me want more! Like everything she writes!

Nominated by @myinconnelly1​

Couldn’t Resist (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

This is fun, funny, and sexy. Short sweet and to the point, while still getting you hot under the collar!!!

Dark Obsession (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

Where do I even start in this drabble! It's so fucking cute and funny! I was laughing out loud and could totally see TFW trying to play their parts here

Promise Me We’ll Be Alright (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

What a pain in the heart this fic was. It hurt so good!! I was ready to cry

Say My Name (oneshot) by @idabbleincrazy​

Smoking hot! While in general Baby-girl is a turn off for me, this fic is so far from it! funny at the start with some cracky dean who is caught in the middle, then getting some possessive Sam which is like my fav! 

I’ll See You on Your Birthday (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87​

SOOO MUCH FLUFF!!! Like seriously i needed a dentist after. Some cute ABO pregnancy right here!

Just A Number (oneshot) by @crispychrissy

Again Sexy and Funny (I have a type ok) This was a great use of Age Gap and it wasn't creepy and didn't need a little blue pill at all!

Happily Ever After (oneshot) by @dontshootmespence

HAPPILY EVER AFTER! It's all i need to say!!!! Read It!

Missing Person (oneshot) by @emilyshurley​

This fic is by my favoritest human in the world!!! It’s hilarious and silly but also almost canon. Plus I make a cameo as Garth’s friend!!! What’s not to love!!! 

Nominated by @lovetusk​

The Only Exception (series) by @ne-gans​ & @negans-lucille-tblr​  

While only the prequel so far, I’m too hyped for this beauty to NOT nominate it.

Survive (oneshot) by @kittenofdoomage 

I’m always here for some Alpha!Sam, but this one punched me right in the feels. How dare anyone keep him from his Omega.

He Wasn’t In Love With You (oneshot) by @sorenmarie87  

Dawn doesn't angst often, but sometimes she does and I love it.

Nominated by @there-must-be-a-lock

Noises (oneshot) by @67midnightwriter 

Just. HOT. Hot hot hot like burning. Dom!Cas playing Dean like a goddamn fiddle... what more can you ask for!?

Come For Me (oneshot) by @fangirlxwritesx67 

My favorite thing this author has published so far! There are a whole lot of emotions in this one, adrenaline and fear and relief and lust and tenderness, and you can feel the depth of everything going on between them and the chaos of the moment. Also, nailed the “oh shit where did this predatory hotass come from” feeling that I totally imagine would happen during a first time with Sammy.

Plus One (oneshot) by @thoughtslikeaminefield 

This is smutty and raunchy and HOT but it also manages to nail the sweet, loving side of Dean. Smut can so easily be one-dimensional, but this fic managed to be both filthy and tender in a way that feels 150% true to character.

Dear Mr. Fantasy (oneshot) by @itmighthavebeenintentional 

An absolutely stunning exploration of some parallel universe Deans. Gorgeously vivid language, such incredible character accuracy, borderline heartbreaking but in a way that isn’t hopeless; it makes you feel FULL. My favorite SPN fic I’ve read in a long time.

The Second Hand Unwinds (oneshot) by @mskathywriteswords 

Incredibly evocative, gorgeous wistful tone, and a couple little plot twists that hit you with all the right feels.

Nominated by @winchest09

All I Want (series) by @katehuntington

I love this, so much. I love the take on this particular episode and how in fact it brings back the reader instead of *spoiler*. It’s still ongoing and it’s already tugging on heartstrings and has made me cry so if you read this, grab your tissues!

Ride With Me (series) by @katehuntington

This series has my heart. Like this could be a published book that i would read cover to cover, over and over. The spine would be broken, pages glued in because i would have read it that much. How everything is described, how the world is painted, the characters, the setting…just everything. It’s a must read..A MUST READ.

I Just Called to Say I Love You (series) by @talesmaniac89​

This broke my heart. This was so beautifully written to the point i was sobbing behind my screen mumbling incoherent words to my husband before talking to a few other tumblr blogs about it. If you read this, have tissues handy. Dean was so in character and my heart will never be the same. Must read.

The Man In Apartment 43 (series) by @talesmaniac89

This series has me so intrigued! It’s written amazingly, has me gasping, has me seriously flinching at some of the creepy goings on and I cannot wait to see where this goes! It’s an ongoing series and I’m loving it!

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

This lovely little drabble satisfies all my domestic dean needs. Covering his fine ass, arms and back. I mean…Come on! It’s just everything that you need in a bite size package. I absolutely loved it!

Nominated by @katehuntington

One For Tomorrow, One Just For Today (oneshot)  by @thoughtslikeaminefield

Sex with Dean is always amazing, but there’s nothing hotter than him singing a classic while he’s doing it. After reading this, that famous song by The Doors will never sound the same. Sit back, relax and listen to the music.

Handy Man (oneshot) by @deanwanddamons

Dean fixing a blocked drain under the kitchen sink in a black shirt and Levi’s jeans; what a sight that must be. The writer of this fic is able to describe the scene in great detail. Besides the obvious appreciation of the gorgeous man, it’s great to see him doing something normal and domesticated. It’s the life we all wish for him. A great little drabble for a Sunday morning with a cup of tea on the side.

You’re Home (oneshot) by @impala-dreamer

A drabble that’s absolutely worth mentioning, is this short story. Beka does Dean’s PTSD more justice in 682 words than the writers have ever done on the entire show. A beautiful piece of art. 

Imagine Dean debating asking you out (oneshot) by @luci-in-trenchcoats​

Dean has a crush on a girl, Sam is calling him out. When his little brother threatens to expose his secret, Dean tries to silence him, and it’s honestly the funniest read I’ve had this month. Writing comedy isn’t easy, but this was flawless.

I Just Called To Say I Love You (oneshot) @talesmaniac89

This one hurts bad, but in the most wonderful way. It’s exactly how Dean would go down, the characterisation beyond perfect. The descriptions, the dialogue, the details, the choices. It’s a Rembrandt painted with letters.

Side By Side (series) by @talesmaniac89

Another brilliant creation, based on the song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol. A song which surfaces a lot of emotions, much like this poetic and amazing piece of fanfiction. Words that come to mind are heart wrenching, tear jerking, and in a way comforting as well. A must read.

The Voices (oneshot) by @fictionalabyss​

Based on ‘I hear the voices when I’m dreaming. I can hear them sing’ from the Supernatural anthem Carry On My Wayward Son, comes this breathtakingly beautiful piece of fanfiction. Perfect lines, spot on dialogue and it couldn’t have been more true to the character. It’s painfully raw, sad, and tears will fall. It makes you feel for Dean in ways that are difficult to describe. The writer of this story is known for her talent with words, but she outdid herself here.

Nicotine (oneshot) by @talesmaniac89

This story is inspired by the song Nicotine by Chef’Special and was written for my 1K celebration. The lyrics to this song are surprisingly depressing, despite it being an upbeat song, and the writer has captured it better than I could have ever hoped for. If her writing was music, it would be a symphony played by an orchestra. Her way with words is melodic and moving. Goosebumps all over. 

 My Hero (oneshot) by @plaidstiel-wormstache​  

What I love most about this fanfic is the medical accuracy. I am no expert in any way, but after seeing countless medical dramas and having done plenty of research for characters and stories, I really appreciate it when knowledge about medicine practically drips from my screen. A lovely read. 

Thank you all for the awesome work and great feedback!

These are not actual awards! This system is set up so everyone in the pond has a chance to share the love and promote a fic/author that has grabbed your attention. The more people that participate, and the more everyone remembers to submit their own fics after posting, the better this will be :D

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN, KEEP UP THE AMAZING WORK, AND AS ALWAYS, HAPPY WRITING!

[ships-and-what-not]

The fact that we never saw more of zuko and katara after the agnai kai with azula is actually very dumb. It was such an intense pivotal significant moment, in which they would have been feeling very emotional and vulnerable with one another, with such heightened emotions spiraling, and relief of having each other come out of it, and the intimacy in holding each other afterwards... katara being their to support zuko with what would be conflicting and sad to see his sister in that state (like how zuko was there for katara with her conflicting feelings after finding the man who killed her mother), but also the relief he would have of having katara be ok, the relief katara would have of him being ok, and how she would feel after just having him take a fucking bolt of lightning, jumping in front of her and risking his life for her, on top of him already being there for her, supporting her, respecting her boundaries, needs, decisions and feelings. The mutual respect and admiration they have for each other, the feeling they would have afterwards while standing side by side, katara helping to support him and looking at each other, tell me their hearts wouldn't have been racing and an unspoken pining for each other wouldn't have been shared. Tell me once katara took him back to tend to his wound that he didn't reach for her hand to thank her again, him saying how scared he was of something happening to her, tell me she wouldn't have cupped his cheek in her hand looked into his eyes before reaching up to kiss him gently, tell me he wouldn't of been taken aback for like point 5 of a second before being over taken with his mutual feelings and kissing her back pulling her close against him with her hair clasped between his fingers and his other around her back to draw her closer, tell me when they slowly pull away that she wouldn't second guess herself and apologize before he stopped her to bring her in again and softly kiss her, and that they weren't flushed in the face and katara almost speechless struggling to think clearly stuttering out about going to get some healing supplies, that they didn't spend the time together smiling at each other, blushing and katara sticking to him like glue while healing him, tell me she didn't lie down with him after she had finished all she could with the wound being exhausted, and they didn't drift off in each others arms and wake up remembering what had happened and specifically between them, maybe feeling vulnerable and exposed, katara going to tend to his wound again, or maybe being sleepy and after having been so close then stayed there laying by each others side sleepily gazing softly into one another eyes, katara gently tracing the outline of his face, a form of contact that we've seen him not let anyone do except katara, and zuko gently running his fingers through her hair and placing his arm around her while they lay there for a moment.

Or that there wouldn't have been at least some unspoken mutual pining for each other while katara helped heal his wound, that they wouldn't have had stolen glances, pauses and moments of physical touch that lead to blushing or fast heart rates, and feelings that would've confused them both that would've lead to not being confident in the canon pairings they were paired off with, leading to katara not kissing aang in the final episode, but instead a group gaang hug, zuko gone to talk to mai face to face openly and honestly after learning that face to face communication is always best from his previous misstep, and that mai would sigh and say she already knows, him having no idea how but her saying she was going to break up with him anyway because there's someone else she's caught feelings for, he asks if he knows him and she says you know her, zuko momentarily taken aback and then smiling saying he's glad they could end things mutually and wishes her the best. That mai would go and find ty lee who's in her kiyoshi warrior attire and struggle to tell her through blushing how she really cares about her as a friend but also more than that, and ty lee taken aback at first before super thrilled throws her arms around her kissing her before pulling back to say she loves her too, and smiling in each others embrace with their foreheads gently pressed together. Tell me that katara and zuko wouldn't continue to have moments of stolen glances, prolonged eye contact, blushing and tension between them, tell me there wouldn't be a gradual build up of them clearly liking each other, and that aang wouldn't gradually let go of non-reciprocated feelings, that he wouldn't be focused on other post-war matters, that he wouldn't find another girl his age who he would fall for, tell me that as him and toph grew older and had more moments of them two together that they never had soft moments, of them having fun together, of them meditating together, going for walks in nature together, of sparing and practicing together with moments of aang airbending who into the air catching her off guard and swooping up and catching her smirking at her, tell me that as she got older that she wouldn't have started to blush at stuff like that, that she wouldn't yell at him for cheating and calling him twinkle toes and that he would catch her off guard when he smiled and kissed her cheek instead of pushing back against the name, that they wouldn't talk again about what happened with appa and how bad she felt and him assuring her he understands it wasnt her fault and that he's glad that she cares for appa, and she let's him know she also cares about him, and how glad she is that he found her and let her join them, how glad she was to have gotten to be with him, and that they wouldn't have felt vulnerable and connected, a paused moment of eye contact before aang leans down and softly kisses her, the way they mutually saw and felt about each other gradually shifting as they got older.

Look all I'm saying is opportunities for realistic character interactions and moments, and character relationship development were robbed, and they didn't have to not have katara and zuko just never talk about one of the most intense scenes and moments they shared together that was literally life or death type life changing. I'm sorry but as if they wouldn't have talked about what happened, and him literally risking his life for her, in addition to their chemistry and mutual respect for one another, as if that wouldn't have lead to then having feelings for each other that are finally realised between them.

Mai and zuko don't work, and aang and katara don't either, not the way their characters interactions and moments together had been written throughout the series, it just makes making them canon in the end super forced felt. Aang shouldn't have gotten with katara, katara deserved to be with zuko, and zuko deserved to be with her, both mai and zuko deserved to be in a healthier more compatible relationship rather than a forced one that feels like plot convenience or at least bad writing if they had been intended to be canon, same applies to aang and katara, if they were intended to be canon then they were extremely poorly written. Not to mention what katara and zuko have that aang and her just don't have in terms of passion, mutual pining, compatible ideologies and maturity levels, the whole yin and yang symbolism, the political power couple they would make with post-war reparations, etc., and how soft they would be? There would be nothing dark and edgy about them at all, they would be such a sweet soft couple, zuko would be so caring, responsive, thoughtful, respectful and soft towards her. And she would have someone who was her equal, who understood her and worked well together, someone who would carry their weight and try to help out when they can, someone who would take her with him if and when he had to go and wouldn't leave her alone for periods of time, someone who would make sure she didn't feel left out or hurt, who would have the emotional maturity and awareness to pick up on things like that after he himself has grown so much and can tell things like that. Someone who would love her but never be forceful or entitled about it, someone who would love her selflessly without expectation of reciprocation, someone who wouldn't kiss her without consent or when she clearly is not ok with it, someone who wouldn't let other girls flirt with him right in front of her because he knows how that hurts, happily show off his amazing water tribe lady to the world. Someone who would respect and learn about her culture rather than expecting her to do so for his without much reciprocation, someone who would make sure all of their children feel loved equally and unconditionally as he knows very well what it feels like to feel like there's unequal love and regard with siblings, and he would make sure they all feel loved and cared for equally without any favouritism, and he would actually make sure that's the case as he would actively want to not repeat generational trauma/abuse.

[laughingpinecone]

ToT letter 2021

I am laughingpineapple on AO3

Hello dear author! I hope you’ll have fun with our match. Feel free to draw from general or fandom-specific likes, past letters, and/or follow your heart.

Art likes: characters doing something, even something very simple, illustrating a moment rather than abstractly posing. I also enjoy seeing them wear different clothes, getting a feel of what their fashion sense is like beyond their canon outfit(s). Or dressing them up for some outlandish AU!

Likes: worldbuilding, slice of life (especially if the event the fic focuses on is made up but canon-specific), missing moments, 5+1 and similar formats, bonding and emotional support/intimacy, physical intimacy, lingering touches, loyalty, casefic, surrealism, magical realism, established relationships, future fic, hurt/comfort or just comfort from the ample canon hurt, throwing characters into non-canon environments, banter, functional relationships between dysfunctional individuals, unexplained mysteries, bittersweet moods, journal/epistolary fic, dreams and memories and identities, canon-adjacent tropey plots, outsider POV, UST, resolved UST, exploration of secondary bits of canon, leaning on the uniqueness of the canon setting/mood, found families, characters reuniting after a long and/or harrowing time, friends-to-lovers, road trips, maps, mutual pining, cuddling, wintry moods, the feeling of flannel and other fabrics, ridiculous concepts played straight, sensory details, sickfic, places being haunted, people being haunted, the mystery of the woods, small hopes in bleak worlds, electricity, places that don’t quite add up, mismatched memories, caves and deep places, distant city lights at night, emphasis on non-human traits of non-human characters (gen-wise, but also a hearty yes xeno for applicable ships), emphasis on inhuman traits of characters who were human once and have sort of shed it all behind

DNW: non-canonical rape, non-canonical children, focus on children, unrequested ships (background established canon couples are okay, mentions of parents are okay!), canon retellings

All requests are for both fic and art!

Death Crown: Death, trick

(I haven't played the DLC yet so, alas, no demons, or no spoilers for the demons, at least) I am absolutely charmed by the overall mood of this game and would like to see something more in that vein! Anything! Got more sacred (or unholy?) geometrical architecture for Death to interact with, maybe in greater detail than just wrecking it? What else feels like a contemporary take on a Bosch painting? Can Death get lost?

Ghost Trick: Jowd, Cabanela, trick, treat

Anything focused on Cabanela being an unstoppable force (confident, untiring, sparkling, stubborn, dexterous, loyal to the bitter end, legs) and/or Jowd being an immovable object (sarcastic, strong, depressed, self-deprecating but knowing he's hot stuff, also stubborn, clever but an emotional dumbass, round). Figuring out stuff? Something in the new timeline is linked to the old timeline? Coat? Dancing? Scarves? Halloween costumes?

I like Cabanela/Jowd and Cabanela/Alma/Jowd and Cabanela/Alma in scenarios where Jowd isn't around and Alma/Jowd in general (REALLY like all these, okay. like this is the one request where I'd love the most self-indulgent shippy takes as well), and dig Lynne/Memry. Yomiel/fianSissel and Emma/JM also cool!

Hylics: any, trick, treat

(I have only played the first game so far so please no overt spoilers for Hylics 2. Feel free to include stuff from it but... stealthily, I guess?) This is an "anything that feels somewhat like canon, please" sort of request! Love the mood, love the cast, love the little added details in their menu screen. Those can be prompts? Or the oddball stats? How do ToT's trick and treat freeforms apply to Hylics' overall... hylicsness, what would those guys think constitutes a "creepy" moment or a "fluffy" one?

Not into ships for this one, however I WILL say that Dedusmuln has all the proverbial curves in the right places. mostly their face.

Kentucky Route Zero: Weaver

Math, debt, the liminal state of almost being a ghost, seeing the world with a strange clarity... just anything Weaver, please! How'd she make her way to the town? What was it like for her to be working on Xanadu for a time? What about the community broadcast! Does she have an opinion on Carrington's oeuvre? You know... things... stuff. Weaver things. and stuff.

I love the whole cast and Weaver... wove... her story through most of them so feel free to bring in whomever. Not interested in ships here though.

Paradise Killer: Lady Love Dies, trick

A post-canon glimpse of life on '''''perfect''''' 25? That's not QUITE enough class consciousness to make the whole thing work, you guys. What does 'normal' life feel like to LD now? After following Henry's case and talking to Shinji so much, can she see that it's doomed to fail again, and then what? What IS Island 25 like, anyway? (what comes after Island 25, even?)

I liked the choice of canon romances - if it has to be just one I'd prefer it to be Crimson, but I'd also be interested in seeing what a V or triad with Doom Jazz would look like. They're all so chill about stuff

Pyre: Volfred, trick, treat

Pragmatic idealist, charismatic and bad at people, pacifist, activist, physiologically incapable of shutting up for a hot second, what's there not to love... I am very into either of the following: C. Volfred Sandalwood has a fantastic day; C. Volfred Sandalwood has a terrible no good day. Everything is great! Pre-exile antiestablishmentarian antics, maybe with Bertrude? Political gambits? The very physical dangers of the Downside which may or may not catch a scholar by surprise (who saves him?)? Tree problems? Meeting Oralech for the first time and Volfred thinks he himself is hot stuff but out of the two, Oralech is clearly the VIP? Feeling like he should live up to Lu Sclorian's legacy but he feels much closer to other Scribes (and what does Lu have to say about it, one way or another?)? The thrilling intimacy of Reading? The thrilling intimacy of lowercase reading also, maybe reading old manuscripts found in the Downside?

I very much ship him with Tariq and/or Oralech. The only canon ship I like is Hedwyn/Fikani. I also like Soliam/Gol, Bertrude/Pamitha and Celeste/Jodariel. Love all the Nightwings + Dalbert (+Deluge...?); love to dunk on Manley, Brighton and Lendel (I don't enjoy flat-out bashing, more like... I enjoy the way they are portrayed as horrible gremlins in canon and if they turn up in fic I'm not interested in more positive portrayals)

Signs of the Sojourner: Rhea, Elias, trick, treat

Once again pretty much an "anything in the style of canon" request. I love this setting, its themes and all the little lives that fill it. I am interested in a wide range of postcanon scenarios and love the whole cast - does Rhea come back to $town any number of years down the line and find $character? How'd their storyline end up in the medium-long term? What the hell is up with the Stranger (seriously, three runs and I never managed to speak with them, I have no idea)? What's life like for Elias back home, or in a new home if they can't keep the store, or if Rhea landed the Oscar ending or whatever (just, please, not dead Rhea. I love that ending but can't stand to consider what it'd do to Elias)? Or does he join the caravan just once? Who did Rhea grow to really like and can't wait to see every time? Any ghost stories or creepy encounters on the caravan's route? Does Thunder help?

I'm neutral on ships here - good with Rhea&Elias, good with background Rhea/Elias but I wouldn't like a romantic focus.

Totally Normal Wizard Apprentice: apprentice, wizard, master, trick, treat

(conflict of interest disclaimer, I illustrated this but didn't write nor nominate it) What awaits the apprentice outside the wizard's tower? It sounds like a pretty wild moon out there, I loved all the worldbuilding hints of the bigger setting. Does the wizard keep track of the apprentice, with her telescope or otherwise, and how does she take care of her ruined parlor? Was this all some sort of 5d chess on the master's part, and if so to what end? And what kind of otherworldly patience does this man possess, anyway, to handle the apprentice on a daily basis?

Twin Peaks: Margaret, Diane, Lucy, Tammy, trick, treat

(bass-boosted ethereal whooshing) For tricks, I would like to see any of these characters face the woods, the mystery of the woods, and/or a new symbol of your liking. Or: Margaret in the city, Diane and the moon, Lucy and the color blue, Tammy incognito.

For treats, a happy meeting. I love the whole cast and I'm always thrilled by gonzo "&" pairings, bring in whomever! Coffee and pie? The Bookhouse Boys? A kinder aspect of the woods?

Fandom-specific notes: love s3, love the books too. I like Lucy/Andy, Margaret/Sam fwiw, and rarepairs Tammy/Cynthia and Diane/Constance. Please no Fireman's-house-is-the-white-lodge, no Twin Perfect, no Judy-was-destroyed (nor is destroyable).

Arcade Spirits: Percy, Teo, treat

More than anything, I love the sense of group and camaraderie among the arcade's staff and regulars, and I'd love to see some more of it. I picked Percy and Teo 'cause they're my faves but anyone you may want to add, up to and including Sue, is very very welcome. Is there any aspect of gaming that feels like it could be adapted to this strange world of contemporary arcades? Cosplay shenanigans for everyone courtesy of Ashley? Any other activity that could show how Percy and/or Teo get along with the others, like they were all forming little groups during the beach chapter? It's such a feel-good canon, any feel-good situation would be great!

My Ari is with Percy but I'm not really interested in shipping here. All sorts of friendships though!

[itsakpopalypse]

Kim Youngbin (SF9)

“ Hi!! i enjoyed your Jaeyoon astrology breakdown so much is there any way you can do Youngbin's as well? “ - @sarang-dae

A/N sure thing dear !! Still learning about SF9, so I hope this is okay ( I still know.. well only the ones I have already done lol.)  Thank you for being patient while my life turned to chaos!!

Hope you enjoy !

FIRST OF ALL

This is a watery man

but mostly Scorpio

let’s start with the big 3

Rising in Aquarius, so he begins interaction with light hearted and observant banter

Sun in Sagittarius , so he is full of adventure and a little bit of save the world (technically the end of the cusp but I’ll talk about that soon)

Moon in Pisces so he is not only in touch with, but quite comfortable with feelings and how to express them

seems incredibly affectionate? 

Lunar Pisces are Cuddle monsters

Probably very caring, tends to show love by taking care of the needs of others.... can forget to take care of himself because of this

that’s where you’ll come in

loves to make memories with you 

will come up with random fun day activities with that Sagittarius sun

and treasure the memories with his lunar Pisces 

every moment is beautiful and he is touched by connection

connection to nature  and to you 

majority fixed chart - which means that he is reliable beyond words

 Lunar Pisces he might make him seem dazed or he might misplace things, but also be an incredibly deep thinker 

and a hopeless romantic., the type to pine for a very long time while imagining the most in depth scenarios in his own head before taking action

will literally plan your lives together out in his head a million different ways before you even know he is interested.  

the kind of person who goes over things 10k times in their head and plays out every scenario before making a decision

so very reliable and understanding

the kind of person you could trust with anything

I feel like falling into any type of a relationship with him is like...

long drives with music in the background and long talks about your life 

from driving around to parked in the driveway because neither of you wants the heart to heart to end

big smiles and an incredible openness

You could just sit down with him and enjoy the silence, but he prefers getting to pull you apart piece by piece until he knows exactly how to make you the most happy

you’d just progress from best friends to more with barely any one noticing

just  kind of quietly ask you deeper questions about yourself until he knows how best to ask you to give him more of  you 

he will treasure the gift of your time

Mercury and Venus in Scorpio tells me that he is really witty and fun to talk to 

probably enjoys a spirited debate and considers it affectionate

likely keeps physical intimacy personal (Scorpios love keeping the private, private)

Venusian Scorpios are dedicated they focus solely on their partner 

won’t necessarily vocalize it, just starts shifting his life to help you reach goals or meet some emotional demand you have

can seem ‘possessive’ but it’s more just that single minded drive to keep you happy and successful 

probably possessive is the wrong word, more just really intense and focused

expects the same level of devotion as he gives

Sagittarius mars (fantastic placement for this sign!!)

this means he is very action over words

he won’t waste time once a decision is made, whatever it may be

expect him to whisk you off to new places on a whim when he sees you need a pick me up

the husbandy-est of husbands

because his Scorpio stellium is so intense, expect him to really display these characteristics in a relationship

so inquisitive about your deepest thoughts and soul 

you are the most important puzzle in his life

likely picks up on your body language well, analyzes your levels of anxiety.

as he is leaning Sagittarius but still a cusp we have MORE Scorpio energy

so even if he is lighthearted and full of fun, he is still grounded and driven

if his moon weren't Pisces I’d worry he’d be bad at vocalizing his feelings, but as it stands he should be really in tune with and expressive of his feelings

good for communication!

a wholesome and good man, a caring and understanding partner!!

great sense of humor and better sense of self.

very resolute in his decisions, and very supportive of yours!

both the Scorpio and Sagittarius placements show he believes in healthy boundaries not codependency,

spic y t i m e prepare for a LO T 18 + below

ALright but collect pls

let’s get spicy

ALL THAT SCORPIO

whew

PLUS THE SAGITTARIUS

goood luckkkkk

let’s just get into it 

Scorpios are very controlling in the bedroom

they know what works, what they like and how to accomplish that

they know what you like too, because the first few times you are intimate he would just watch and learn

try new things and see what works for you best, what you like and how to make you squirm

watches your every reaction for the perfect combination of pressure and sensations to make you lose every braincell

I’m fairly certain that with the amount of Scorpio in his chart, he would absolutely require you to vocalize your desires

teasing lil shit

“I don’t know what you want if you won’t tell me, baby. How does that feel?”

wants you to *try* to say it, but have wrecked you too hard for you to form words

absolutely takes pride in being the best you have ever had

probably low key into public teasing

the type to buy you one of those panty vibrators and keep the remote in his pocket, 

“You remember the rules, don’t you baby?”

secretly smirks to himself behind his hand when you have to grip his arm and hide your pleasure. 

he wants to control every aspect of your pleasure, and the Pisces moon means that that doesn’t just make his dick hard, but his heart too

Definitely a huge fan of fingering. I get the sense he loves the idea of forcing multiple orgasms out of you before his pants are off

think, how many ways, before he leaves you totally destroyed.

if he doesn’t leave you a quivering mess he won’t feel like he did his job

because of this i don’t believe he would like any “quicky” type situation

he wants hours and hours and  hours of pleasure forced out of you

he gets off on you getting off, and he likes to hold his own pleasure for last. 

likely doesn’t ask you for anything, but wants you to beg to give him pleasure back. 

will get slightly shy about it but agree

he secretly wants that pampering, every now and then but doesn’t know how to give up the control to do it

so you’ll have to surprise him,  wake him up with your mouth on him and he will just lay there stroking your skin and praising you 

a light flush will dust his cheeks and he will tell you how pretty you are and how wonderful he feels.

he likes that shit sometimes

*he’s still gonna make sure to return the favor, with vigor, so don’t expect to get any rest after*

champion of aftercare

think massages and oils and candles and soft murmurs of his eternal devotion through sleepy lips

think long face to face cuddling, eyes tracing your features in the dim lighting

think “here’s water and a snack, and you are the most amazing person i’ve ever known, do you know I love you?”

all and all, the perfect catch. 

[setabane]

The Beauty of Queer Intimacy and Love: The Dynamics of Femme Women loving Women (WLW) Relationships

This captivating series maneuvers around the beauty of everyday queer life and the documentation of queer love (platonic, romantic and of-self). A dialogue that contains a cinematography-focused visual aesthetic on tender and gentle moments with main inspirations from Clifford Prince King, Ryan McGinley and Ryan Pfluger.

Words: Cassim Cassim

There is a heavy stigmatism behind the word femme in its essence, especially when you coalesce and meld it with being queer. There is a shift in conflict whenever you are a queer femme identifying person, a shift that diverts hate and prejudice from the cis hetero community to the queer community. In the gay community, there is creation of internalized homophobia, which is known as femphobia, femme presenting queer men have been historically ostracized and ridiculed for presenting too girly or too feminine. Whereas in the lesbian community, there is an ambiguous reaction and opinion towards femme presenting queer women. There is a heavy dig into the existence of queer women, especially queer femme women who love other women.

Queer femme women must face a challenge amongst the heterosexual agenda and feeding into an idea that they must feed themselves into compulsory and performative ‘bisexuality’ all to praise the needs of men. Usually, women who are in femme relationships fall prey to this cage of men belittling their relationships by sexualizing them and praising their union because it is “sexy”, but God forbid a relationship between a butch queer woman and a femme queer woman, sensuality between them becomes “sick” and “cruel”. It widens the range of behavior considered acceptable from men in heterosexual intercourse, behavior which reiteratively strips women of their autonomy, dignity, and sexual potential, including the potential of loving and being loved by women in mutuality and integrity.

Femme to femme relationships in women are part of the forefront yet have never been seen as a redefinition of a generational idea of what queer love looks like. Without denigrating the idea that a wlw queer relationship is between butch and femme, it assumably feeds into the base idea that it belongs into a system of gender, the man and the woman, the provider and the receiver, simply because both expressions are dichotomic. It is rather cathartic knowing that now we don’t have a prominent base idea of what a queer relationship looks like or should look like, and that’s what makes queer relationships unique and splendiferous. This last article in the last series is to highlight the beauty of queer relationships, in all forms, and the subversion of the patriarchy by painting a soft and delegate form of femininity and queer intimacy between 2 femme women. SETABANE had an interview with 2 queer femme presenting woman discussing their idea of intimacy between women and their experiences with love and intimacy.

1. What is your definition of intimacy?

(J) My definition of intimacy is where me and my partner are together and we’re both tapping into each other’s emotional and mental inclination/state. It could be through just a casual conversation maybe about how your day really was or a deep conversation about the things you want for yourself or for the both of us. Allowing your partner to get in touch with your emotional being is the most intimate you can ever be with him/her (in my opinion). With physical intimacy, it’s more to do with being so comfortable with each other’s presence, their touch, having a good time and not involving sex. The latter on the other hand isn’t my way of showing intimacy.  

(C) Intimacy to me is defined as the complete acceptance of oneself and of other people. It’s being comfortable in my body and my spirit to share a bond with most importantly myself and then another person.

2. What is your idea of romanticism?  

(J) It’s definitely doing something, could be small or big, for my partner and not expecting anything in return, just making my partner feel so special. I could be doing whatever it is I’m doing out of love or admiration or for the fun of it. It also keeps the relationship alive, just little surprises here and there. Affirming your partner all the time counts too, as well as giving them your time, doing things out of the ordinary, basically being spontaneous.  

(C) Being aware of my own wants and needs and/or as well as my partners. Words or actions based off this form the base of the romantic aspect in any relationship.

3. What’s one thing you love about being queer?  

(J) I’d like to think it’s how I learn something all the time about being queer and the queer community. There’s so much to being queer that it just blows my mind sometimes. Anything thing is the support that comes from the queer community. It’s so overwhelming in a good way. It’s just incredible to see it and feel it.  

(C) The ability to be my most authentic self. The community as well. There is an abundance of love and generosity. We all share a commonality yet embrace individualism to the fullest.

4. Is queer expression important to you?  

(J) For me, I really do not think too much about how I express myself physically that is. I absolutely adore when queer people express themselves wholeheartedly that’s for sure, but for me, it never really wasn’t that important.

(C) Queer expression is vital. Without it, embracing one's true self cannot happen. Being queer takes up a portion of who the person is, if it cannot be tapped into and explored by physical means, it is left untouched and dormant.

5. Do you feel prejudice/discrimination as a queer woman in Botswana?  

(J) I personally haven’t really experienced/received that kind of energy from people, so I don’t think so. But for my fellow queer people, I’d like to think some have, especially trans, gay and bisexual men. They have it the hardest and it’s hard to witness that.  

(C) I have personally not experienced it

6. Do you believe in queer platonic love?  

(J) Yeah, absolutely.  

(C) Absolutely. Again, it’s the community. Friends come to be from sharing experiences and opinions, while accepting each other regardless of any differences. I don’t see why that cannot be for queer friendships. It can be one of the greatest friendships to ever have as a queer person.

7. What’s one advice you’d give to someone reading this?

(J) Don’t live up to people’s expectations of you. Live up to your expectations of you. Don’t be concerned about what other people think of you. Don’t focus on trying to prove to people your validation. And be kind, always. We live in such a cruel world and you can make it better by just being kind to the people around you.

(C) Study yourself. Expand your mind. Have some substance. We live in a world where distractions occupy our lives. But we weren’t put on this planet to become machines. Don’t lose your humanity, it’s the most beautiful thing you own. CREDITS:

PHOTOGRAPHY : @wenz_hd

EDITOR: @cxsside

MODELS: @jdee_ridge and @clarisapriyanka