#;; about azula unlocking her heart chakra

[heirscrchd]

It was in the asylum.

The darkest days that Azula had ever faced were when she was confronted with the fear that poisoned her for so long. Before she had been able to hide and mask her fear in power and authority but now she was stripped of it all. Wrapped tightly bound in a jacket that forced her into some twisted sense of self-comfort. A hug that felt like it was poisoned only by the straps that forced her arms to take that position.

Fear was her friend in these darkest times where she was left with nothing but the cold stone walls and the empty sound of echoing footsteps of doctors and nurses who came in to evaluate her. For days on end, she didn't know where she was having tired herself out to the point of exhaustion after Sozin's Comet and suddenly waking in a cell unlike any other she had known.

Whispers of the asylum had hardly ever reached her ears due to just how rare it was that people were sent there at least, to this part of it. Hardly were the mentally ill ever truly treated well and it was often more beneficial than not to hide the cracks in one's resolve lest they be seen as weak and dishonorable. Now that she was here the cold reality of it all came crashing down on her.

Still, the realization struck her that she was alone. The deepest and darkest fear had become a reality in this place, and she could no longer block it out and hide from it behind her station or feeble excuses. So many nights had it taken for her to accept it and open the stream of energy to flow through her. A blockage nearly as strong as the one that surrounded her heart, did she block out her fears in the hope she could survive with the few people who stayed with her. She relied on control the most in these times, and here she had none of it. Not even to her own limbs could she fully control, she was forced into positions and tossed around like a training dummy. Only snapping her jaws or breathing fire in an attempt to regain some stranglehold of her power.

When the day finally had come, and she had her first visitors it brought back all that fear. Knowing they wouldn't last long she steeled herself but the fear sunk it's horrid rotten fangs into her. Each time they came, another bite, and with every leave did they rip another part of her out. Eventually she learned to accept that fear. Nothing more could be taken from her that they didn't already rob her. None of her friends, the ones she loved, ever bothered with her until they needed something surely. They all had some motive.

A clear flow of energy through her confirmed this. Letting those fears leave her, she no longer worried of them leaving. No, it was an inevitability that would have to come eventually. Whether through death or betrayal. An unconventional way of unlocking this chakra but one she felt as her strength slowly returned. All too thankful it happened not days before she was set to see her beloved older brother. How he had summoned her to the palace of all things, Azula knew to be on her best behavior.

This wasn't about survival anymore as she possessed a newfound confidence that she had nothing to fear in terms of that. So long as she trusted her own wit and skill, laughing softly to herself at the thought of having forgotten her greatest strength in the dark cavern cell they put her in.

[tarisilmarwen]

In a bit of cross franchise-ish analysis; would the old Jedi Order look at the...Romantic escapades of Avatar Korra as a key overarching reason why people of that power shouldn’t fall in love? On that matter, how would both Aang and Korra view that ‘no romance’ rule if they see applied anyways?

So here’s the thing, the Jedi actually don’t forbid romantic attraction or their members falling in love.  It’s really easy to fall into the trap of thinking they do, I know.  I blame the whole “Forbidden Love” marketing surrounding AOTC and the fact that it was not entirely explained well in the text.

What the Jedi Order forbids is attachment and possession.  Western writers and Western fandom (including the writers and fandom of ATLA), often confuse and conflate “attachment“ with “love“, as in to let go of your attachments you have to stop loving your beloved.  But that’s not what the Jedi mean, and that’s actually arguably not what the Guru meant either.  (With Iroh encouraging Aang for choosing love over power and Avatar Yangchen basically confirming to Aang that no, he can never fully detach from the world, it muddies the waters a little bit, so it’s not as clear cut in Avatar’s case.)

The Jedi, because they are highly sensitive empaths and psychics with potentially very dangerous space wizard powers, caution super strongly against selfish love.  Clingy love.  Jealous love.  Love that is not carefully thought out and tempered by emotional control.  Kind of like Anakin and Padme’s whirlwind romance that began with Anakin idolizing an image of Padme he’d put on a pedestal for ten years, detouring into her pardoning him murdering a village because he was angry, and ending with them getting married after like a week despite knowing it was a bad decision on both ends.  When you factor in the fact that Anakin was basically willing to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for the power to keep Padme alive at all costs, despite her wishes and protests even, because he was unable to let go of his attachment to her, it becomes much much clearer what the Jedi caution against when they discourage attachment.

Also, being in the Jedi Order is a massive commitment, almost like a marriage, and romantic commitments outside of that create a huge conflict of interest, tantamount to cheating if it’s severe enough.  Doubly so in Anidala’s case since Padme was a politician!

If you’re a Jedi of the Late Republic Era (because other eras of Jedi Order did manage to find a way to reconcile Jedi duty and having families) and you fall in love, and you realize that your feelings are going to conflict with your duty to the Order and your commitment to seek balance within yourself and in the Force, you basically have to choose one or the other in the end.  Anakin wanted both and that’s what messed him up.

Now, on to Avatar!  Aang as I mentioned fell into the trap of thinking that letting go of Katara meant he had to stop loving her.  But in the end, he did give her up, to save her life, an act of selfless love that unlocked his amazing awesome Avatar superpowers.  He was immediately struck down by Azula, and we could argue (and some have!) that this is in fact the narrative punishing him for that action, for giving up Katara.  I don’t think it’s that clear cut, because I think it was done more for the shocking (pardon the pun) twist, the expectation subversion, and to bring about the downer ending of Season Two.

In any case, all over the show in other places, it’s made clear that Aang’s love for Katara is generally not a bad thing, or a thing that gets in the way of him performing his Avatar duties.  He does lose control of the Avatar State when she’s deliberately put in danger, once.  But he’s also calmed out of the Avatar State by her willingness to share in his sorrow, he unlocks the heart chakra by accepting his feelings for her, his motivation for continuing on in the fight is by him stated to be her, and so on.  He grows very emotionally mature of the course of the show and honestly could easily pass for a Jedi by the end, able to temper his emotions, and prioritize his duty to the world when the time comes.

Korra is... a good counterpoint for the opposite argument.  But I’m not sure it’s anything to do with her being the Avatar so much as her being a dumb impulsive teenager making stupid ass decisions without thinking of the consequences.

...Granted that doesn’t lead to much good Avatar-ing either.

Still, other Avatars were also able to get married with no problems.  I think what it comes down to is that Avatar and Star Wars have fundamentally different worldbuilding construction inherent in how the super-amazing faux magic powers work.  The Avatar State can be triggered by strong emotions, and is dangerous when it operates off of anger, same as the Dark Side, which is why mastery over it requires training, discipline, and mediation via unlocking chakras.  But Avatar duties do not preclude other commitments.

The Late Republic Jedi Order, on the other hand, is a much more serious institution.  They are beholden to the Republic and under its authority and must take more care to avoid conflicts of interest between their vows to the Order and any commitments they might make to outside parties.  They are at base level a monastic order.  If a priest finds he’s having feelings for someone outside of what is appropriate for his clerical station, he has to be honest with himself and either has to let them go and not pursue them, or make the decision to leave to commit to that person.

So if a Jedi falls in love and conducts what is essentially an affair while on duty, that’s bad.  (If you’re careful about it you might just get some knowing side-eye but it’s still a thin and dangerous line to tread, again, because space wizard powers and conflict of interest.)  If on the other hand a Jedi leaves the Order because they fell in love, that’s fine.  They still have to be VERY CAREFUL to not over-prioritize that person to the point where they are unable to let go of them, because that leads to fear of loss, which leads to anger at their own powerlessness, which leads to Anakin burning down the galaxy and murdering children because he couldn’t deal with things in a remotely healthy fashion.  All that is basic How The Force Works 101.  Don’t be selfish, because that leads to the Dark Side, and romantic love turns very selfish very easily.

Whew!  That was probably a lot more wordspew than you were expecting.  But to answer the original question, the Jedi Order would see Aang and think he’s probably got his shit together enough that no one really has to worry and they would look at Korra and have conniptions.  (Until she had her Character Development anyway.)  Aang I think by the end of the show would have come to a place where he understood the Jedi’s policy on romance.  Season One Korra would, ah... not.  Possibly Season Two Korra by the very end would be closer to understanding, “Oh shit, yeah, I have really dangerous powers, I should be careful in my romantic entanglements and have my emotional shit together.”  I have not watched Season Three or Four, I cannot speak for her characterization there.

But I mean... Air Nomads and Jedi both have heavy Buddhist influences so it’s not really a surprise that they’d probably vibe.

And now I want crossover fic dammit.

[kristallioness]

21 Questions about ATLA

I was tagged by @atypicalkataangist. Wow, thanks for including me in this quiz! I've seen others reblog a list of numbered questions similar to these, expecting to receive some asks that they could answer in return. But now I get to do them in one go.

1) Who's your favourite male character?

I'm unoriginal and gonna say it's Aang. Not only because of him being the main character, but also because he was the first boy in the show who I immediately started to like (Sokka was second, Zuko was third in the beginning since he was a villain and I grew to love him more and more along with his character development), the way he balances his carefree, childish personality with his more mature, responsible side, his back story and peaceful culture.. Most importantly, without him, there wouldn't be the second half of such a lovely couple like he and Katara are.

2) Who's your favourite female character?

Katara. She's not only my favourite female character, but favourite character of them all, right from the start and until the end. The moment I saw her I fell in love since she looked really pretty and she wore a braid, just like me. Seeing what a caring, motherly, fierce personality she had (like mine) only fuelled my love for her.

3) What's your favourite quote?

Since Katara's my favourite character, then my first choice would be: "I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me!" Because that's sort of who I am and what I'm like, too. It's almost like a motto that I live by without thinking about it twice. I'm self-sacrificing and try to help my friends whenever they need it and as much as I can. I just remembered another good one, a quote that affected me on a more personal level. I'm pretty sure that only 0.0000000001% of the fandom would choose this one: "I don't care what I look like. I'm not looking for anyone's approval. I know who I am." The best part is, this is something that Toph says to Katara after she's been made fun of for her appearance by a bunch of prissy Upper Ring Earth Kingdom girls. How did this affect me? I started crying when I first saw this scene. Why? Because this was something that I'd been struggling with for years. I'd been bullied for my appearance at school. It used to make me feel worthless, unlovable, alone, probably also the reason why I turned into such a quiet person who doesn't know how to be around real friends. Hearing a blind, tomboyish, badass earthbender say what I needed to hear all along made me understand that it's not true - my appearance does not define my worth or who I am inside.

4) What's your favourite fight?

I knew you answered Katara and Pakku's duel @atypicalkataangist (and that one came to my mind, too, since it is one of my favourites because of reasons), but since I recently rewatched "The Serpent's Pass", I'm gonna pick Aang and Katara beating up that huge serpent. That was some awesome bending teamwork there! I went through all of the episodes in my head, and I gotta say that I also really like the duel between Aang and Zuko in "Bato of the Water Tribe". And one of the first ones where Haru and his father Tyro, along with the rest of the earthbenders, fight their way to freedom in the prison. The ending of that episode always leaves me with such a powerful feeling.

5) What's your favourite episode?

The big finale, "Sozin's Comet, Part 4: Avatar Aang". I sobbed practically throughout the entire episode when I first saw it. The soundtrack playing in the end is so beautiful to listen to and it still brings tears to my eyes. This episode concludes everything the show set up in the most unexpected ways possible. I mean, did any of us foresee Zuko being crowned the new Fire Lord (after you watched the first episode)? Did our hearts break into a million pieces when Katara and Aang kissed and became a couple in the end? Enough said.

6) From which nation would you like to be?

I'm not sure whether this is cheating or not, but since the story of ATLA continues in the comics and during Korra's time, I'd really love to be from the United Republic of Nations. I just love how it's a nation of mixed cultures, I am in LOVE with Republic City (as well as its 1920's aesthetic) and the capital reminds me of my own (Tallinn is also near the sea, has a marvellous silhouette, 4 seasons). Or if not, then my choice would definitely be the Water Tribes. I've explained it pretty well under the description of this drawing of mine.

7) Which element would you like to be able to bend and why?

Easy, I'd pick water since my 2nd choice when applying for university 5 years ago was to become a doctor. I'd like to use my healing abilities to cure people and my graceful waterbending to battle bad guys like Katara!

8) Favourite animal in the Avatar Universe?

I'm probably unoriginal, but I'm torn between the sky bison or the dragons. Oh, and the ostrich horses!

9) Who would you like to be your teacher and why?

I'm thinking it could be either Katara, Aang or Zuko, in this exact order. Katara and Aang would both be really supportive and I consider Zuko to be really wise (remember what he said to Korra before departing? he learned so much throughout the years).

10) What was the saddest moment in the show?

I have an entire list of the scenes/moments that made me cry, let me check.. *reads* Which sad moment made me cry the most, I'mma pick that one.. Okay, I can't decide because there are a few, let me name them: * the ones that stand out the most are all 3 finales * when Katara thought that her mother was alive in the swamp * when Aang enters the Avatar State and wants to kill the sandbenders, but Katara doesn't run away and instead grabs his hand and pulls him back down into her embrace and they cry together * Iroh singing the lullaby to his deceased son on his birthday (my parents have always said that one of the worst things a parent can live through is the death of their own child, so when I saw this scene, I understood what they meant and started crying) * Jet's death * Aang unlocking his heart chakra * almost the entirety of "The Awakening" (because everything seemed so hopeless and going the wrong way, when Katara and Hakoda talked), seriously, this is the most depressing episode in my book and that's why I love it so much * Sokka talking to Toph about how he's forgotten what his mother looks like and Katara is the one who's taken her place * when the invasion fleet was defeated on the Day of Black Sun and Katara knelt down beside Aang to comfort him * Zuko and his uncle Iroh's reconciliation and his speech to Team Avatar before they departed

11) What was the most shocking moment in the show?

You answered the same way: Aang getting shot with lightning. It came out of nowhere. When I saw Katara's face full of hope I thought that now they were going to make it since Aang had the power to face the Dai Li as well as Zuko and Azula. In a split second, everything changed and took a turn for the worst.

12) What was the funniest moment in the show?

There are so many good jokes, how do you expect me to pick just one??? Okay, umm.. when Sokka tried to fight against the villagers who believed too much of Aunt Wu's fortunes with logic and rational thinking (I can relate to him, poor Sokka).. How Aang messed up and unintentionally made Katara upset by insulting her instead of giving her a compliment when they were lost in the caves. Or the time Sokka and Katara had to pose as Aang's parents to go to the principal's office after school.

13) What was the most unforgettable moment in the show?

Maybe the whole scene before Zuko's coronation starts, "Peace" playing in the background, we see friends and family reunited, happy, alive. We witness something few of us could've predicted: the last person we ever thought, who went through and learned so much, is crowned the new Fire Lord. It's such a victorious moment and never leaves me without emotion.

14) Which one is your favourite book?

I have a weird system concerning this. Book 1 was sort of like the start of their journey, the world was slowly being built and introduced to us. Book 2 became much more serious, the characters gained more depth and the stakes began to rise. When I thought it couldn't get any better, I was proven horribly wrong. Book 3 became far more emotional than I ever could've imagined. So it's like my love grew with each book, and I kind of love the last one the most for this reason.

15) Who had the greatest character development in the show?

Everybody developed so much, but I'd definitely say it was Zuko. At first, I didn't really care much about him. Just another villain trying to capture someone for his own personal gain, I figured. But that all changed when I saw his back story in "The Storm". I started to look at him from a completely different angle. I began to understand where he came from, why he was doing this. I saw how much he struggled, how many wrongs he committed. The climax was when he faced his own father and told him: "No! I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own. Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history and somehow, the war was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was! The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation! They don't see our greatness, they hate us! And we deserve it." This is what he learned by spending time as a refugee in the Earth Kingdom, by witnessing firsthand what his nation, what this war was doing to others. And he was determined to set things right by joining Aang and his friends, teaching him firebending and stopping his own homeland from going down this path.

16) What do you love most about Avatar: The Last Airbender?

The story that Bryan and Michael came up with. I have NEVER cried so much, laughed at so many original jokes, heard such gorgeous instrumental music made by Jeremy Zuckerman, the raw emotion behind the voice actors.. every little bit is what makes this story and this series so amazing, fulfilling and perfect.

17) What do you hate most about Avatar: The Last Airbender?

I don't hate anything about the show per se, perhaps more about the way the fandom can act sometimes.

18) With which character do you identify most?

Like I answered in question 2, Katara. Her personality reflects mine the most, we share similar values in life, I love her family (Hakoda and Sokka) because they have such loving relationships with each other (Katara and Hakoda made me emotional several times, and they only had a few scenes together!).

19) Is Avatar: The Last Airbender your favourite cartoon/anime?

Ever since I discovered it, and I think it'll remain as my favourite cartoon for the rest of my life. Nothing can ever impact me as much as Avatar has.

20) Would you want to be the Avatar?

Thinking just how messed up our own world is right now, how my aggressive eastern neighbour has occupied parts of 2 independent countries, how helpless and angry I feel that I can't do anything about it - Y E S. I want to bring peace and balance back to our world, too. And if I had my own loving, supportive partner (like Aang) by my side, I'd do it again in a thousand lifetimes.

21) What's your favourite ship?

I personally ship everything that has been or is currently canon. My OTP is obviously Kataang, though I'm also one of the few friendly multishippers out here. Which means that I don't mind seeing beautiful stuff about Zutara either, for instance. (Seriously, you should check out my tag, there are so many lovely gifsets there, be it romantic or platonic.)

To sum up, thank you once more for tagging me! I'm not gonna tag anyone specific, but if any of you would like to do this, too, then go ahead! It was really fun to reflect back on why I love this show so much.

[euphorichords]

Ultimate Top Twelve Avatar: The Last Airbender Episodes

WARNING: SPOILERS

12.                 The Waterbending Scroll S1E9

I have always loved this one, but mostly because I ship Zuko and Katara. Either way, this episode intrigues me because Katara does something that she deplores: stealing. She steals a water bending scroll and ends up putting the gang in a dangerous situation with some pirates, who then team up with Prince Zuko to terrorize the gang. Overall it’s a very entertaining episode.

11.                 The Warriors of Kyoshi S1E4

This episode tackles a lot of issues all in one. Specifically, it’s a pivotal moment in the entire series as it establishes a point of reference for the rest of the series. Sokka meets Suki and learns an important lesson in humility, Aang encounters fangirls for the first (and not the last) time, Katara deals with jealousy (and establishes an overarching personality), and Aang rides a giant eel-dragon monster. It’s a pretty great girl-power episode.

10.                 The Swamp S2E4

In this episode, the group experiences the divine intervention of the spirits. They are pulled down into the swamp by force and later separated. I’ve always loved the scene where they’re all hallucinating and chasing after specters because it speaks to each character’s inner feelings. Katara sees her mother, whom she misses very much. Sokka sees Yue, his first love who became the moon spirit. Aang sees a person he’s never met. They meet a man who lives with a tribe of water benders in the swamp, and this man gives the avatar some advice which Aang will later use again, that everything is connected in life.

9.   The Library S2E4

This scene makes the list because of the vastness of the design. This world has endless possibilities, making every episode more and more incredible. The gang discovers a lost library of immense knowledge buried in the desert. The library is guarded by a dangerous spirit of knowledge, who appears as a large owl. He allows the gang to peruse his library as they wish, but they nearly don’t escape, as this spirit has some very negative opinions about humans.

8.   The Guru/Crossroads of Destiny S2E18

Aang is a spiritual prodigy, that much can be seen from any other episode. This episode specifically, though, is focused on Aang’s formal teaching regarding chakras. The guru that Aang meets is very knowledgeable (and has a repoire with Appa, too) and encourages Aang to unlock each of his chakras in order to better control his transitions between his normal state and the Avatar state. Unfortunately, Aang has difficulty unlocking the final chakra, as he must let go of his love for Katara. He leaves without unlocking it and is blocked from the avatar state altogether. Further, this episode is pivotal in the relationship between Iroh and Zuko. The end of this episode marks a very powerful decision made by Zuko to betray his uncle, something he will later regret.

7.   Tales of Ba Sing Se S2E14

Although this episode does function as a filler episode, it is anything but useless. Each storyline adds to the dynamism of the characters. My personal favorite is that of Iroh. Iroh is by far one of my favorite characters, and his “tale” is also the saddest, as Iroh is celebrating his late son’s birthday. On this day he vows to help every person he meets, and it ends with him singing a mournful song in front of a picture of his son. I cry every time.

6.   Sokka’s Master S3E4

Sokka is a non-bender and that follows him through his life all the time. Often, non-benders can feel left out from the bending world, and for good reason. Sokka is encouraged by the rest of the gang to go get professional sword training, and boy is that rewarding. Not only does Sokka make a lifelong friend, he also gets the coolest sword ever forged. He becomes an impressive and formidable warrior.

5.   The Puppet Master S3E8

Some people love this episode, some people hate it. It is very creepy, that much we all can agree on. The gang meets a woman while traveling in the Fire Nation who is from the Southern Water Tribe. She bonds with Katara and eventually wishes to pass down her knowledge to Katara. It is soon revealed that this old woman is the monster behind many recent kidnappings. Katara is forced to either bloodbend or die.

4.   The Boiling Rock S3E13

Just amazing. This is the episode where Sokka and Katara are finally able to free their father from prison in the Fire Nation. In it, they must devise a plan to get him off the island in the middle of a boiling hot lake on the top of a volcano. Much like our Alcatraz, no prisoner has ever escaped boiling rock. Azula and her lady killers show up, but Mei betrays Azula in order to save Zuko, Sokka, and Hakoda. Lots of action.

3.   The Southern Raiders S3E13

Katara has struggled with her mother’s murder throughout the whole series, this is her opportunity to get revenge with the help of Zuko. It’s her chance to forgive him and allow him into the group. The most powerful moment comes when, confronting the man who killed her mother, he asks who she was protecting all those years ago. Katara looks up at him and shouts, “Me!” while also bending all the raindrops coming down around them. This moment gives me shivers every time I watch. As a side note, Suki and Sokka were totally going to bone when Zuko walked into Sokka’s tent. As a kid, the first time watching this episode, we rewound and rewatched Sokka’s reaction to his unexpected visitor over and over again.

2.   The Old Masters S3E16 – Part 2

Because my favorite relationship in the whole series is the one between Iroh and Zuko, this episode ranks extremely high for me. Zuko, a child of abuse, returns finally to apologize for his betrayal to his uncle. He expects Iroh to be firm and unforgiving, but is met with only love and joy. He cannot believe the incredible love this man has for him and it brings me to tears just thinking about it. Iroh is so proud and accepting of Zuko’s mistakes, it’s an unforgettable moment.

1.   The Painted Lady S3E3

My favorite episode. Katara is an amazing, kind hearted, powerful woman. She impersonates a water spirit in order to save a river town from the pollution of a Fire Nation refinery. She then continues this reuse in order to save the town from the soldiers that come to burn the village down. Not only is she an amazing woman and water bender, but we get to see a really badass side of Katara in this episode.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Ten Sides (Part 30)

Sorry if the formatting is weird this time, I'm on mobile because my laptop doesn't want to connect to the internet today.

I also don't know how to do the read more under the cut on mobile so I'll fix that when I can.

Zuko is still thinking about their conversation days later. He doesn’t think that he has ever seen her so uncertain about anything. It is strange to see her as anything but confident. Strange to have seen her looking at him with such apprehension. To hear so much confusion and conflict in her voice. So much turmoil.

He thinks that it has been festering within her for a long time, perhaps years--a knowingness that she needed to change. To free and find herself.

She seems to be in better spirits now.

Seems to speak and act more openly.

She is no longer subtle about her affections either. More often than not her hand is in Aang’s. More often than not she lets him play with her hair and brush his nose against hers. More often that not he finds them sitting side by side, eyes closed and palms up; he is certain that the meditation is doing her many favors. She is calmer, less tense.

Perhaps it helps her get a better sense of herself.

He wonders if he should take up meditation himself.

Azula opens her eyes before Aang does, according to him, she usually does. She lays back, hands behind her head and looks towards the sky, up at the leisurely strolling clouds. A spray of cherry blossom petals gusts across the garden.

Zuko can't help but wonder what she is thinking. She looks to be at peace but then, he can never tell what she is thinking, how she is feeling.

Finally Aang opens his eyes. "Done already?" He asks.

"I didn't have much to think about today, Avatar." She rolls onto her side to face him. He reaches out and brushes her bangs back and behind her ear. Zuko isn't sure that he'll ever be able to get used to seeing her part take in such tender moments.

He knows that he can't get used to Aang taking her hand and kissing her first on the cheek and then the nose. Can't get used to her accepting the gestures of adoration.

But it certainly makes things easier for him. She doesn't seem so angry and temperamental now that she has Aang's open affection.

He wonders if now would be a good time to approach her once again about making amends.

Decidedly it is best to just let her come to him. To not push his luck; she is easier to talk to when she approaches him.

"Seriously?" Mai rolls her eyes.

"What!?"

"You're just gonna watch those two?" She quirks a brow.

"I'm just not used it, okay?"

Mai shrugs. "I guess it is weird that the Avatar has questionable taste."

Maybe in time Azula won't be such a questionable choice. Maybe Aang just sees something in her, some side if her that everyone else hasn't.

Zuko thinks that he might have gotten a glimpse of this side. That he has just received another glimpse of it.

"She seems like she treats him well."

"He's the only person…"

Perhaps he is being a rough optimistic, "I think that she's working on branching out." But he isn't holding his breath on an apology.

.oOo.

Her head doesn't hurt as much anymore, it feels somehow spacey but plesntly so. It is less cluttered. She takes Aang's hands and strikes the back of his hands with her thumbs. It is beginning to feel more natural to do so. Less awkward, less like a parody of affection.

They don't talk, sometimes they don't need to.

Sometimes words only ruin a perfectly good moment.

He lays back and she rests her head upon his chest, letting him kindly strike her back. She closes her eyes. She might be able to meditate better if he would do this with her.

This feels natural too. She is certain that she couldn't force these feelings--this... love--if she tried to. She doesn't think that anyone could.

Now that she has it. Now that she has love. Now that she has felt it for herself, induced it on her own, she knows that there is a difference.

This love doesn't come with shame.

This love feels deeper than anything she has felt as Ai-Emi

It is authentic.

This in itself is terrifying in its own right as uncharted territory.

Aang brings his stroking to a hault. She frowns, "I did not tell you to stop, Avatar." He chuckles and resumes rubbing circles upon her back. She hums softly to herself.

However resentfully it is to do so, she has to admit that speaking with Zuzu has helped; to get affirmation from someone who knows her, perhaps, more than anyone.

To hear, from someone who has gone through it before, that changes on such a grand scale are normal for the goals she is trying to achieve.

To hear, from someone unfortunately close, that she is still the same at her core, that the things that matter are still there.

She realizes that it is less about change and more about substitution; swapping one unsatisfactory trait for a more savory one that is befitting of her personality.

It is about recognition, about finding those things she is ashamed of and having the pride and dignity to swap those things out for something new.

And so hatred turns to love--her strange version of it and anger becomes determination. Lies become blunt but respectable truths and manipulations...decidedly she will do away with those entirely. It is probably better if she does until she has fully chosen her side.

Until mind games no longer being her back to her darkest moments.

"I think that I am ready, Avatar."

"For what?"

"To stop being angry." And afraid. To fully accept what it means to make something if her introspection. "To be someone else."

And for some reason he laughs. She realizes why and corrects herself, "to be myself but...better?" Happier, more approach able, stabler.

He ruffles her hair.

"Stop that."

He withdraws his hand.

"Now I am going to have to get it restyled."

Aang rolls his eyes. "You don't have to be perfect, you know."

She does. She thinks that she is ready to accept that too. She has plenty of other imperfections, the physical flaws are the most mannagable ones, the petty ones. "I might not have everything in order, Avatar, but I'd like to at least look like I do." She believes that this is fair enough.

"Alright." He replies, sitting up. He kisses her forehead and her lips. Somehow it still leaves her tummy with a small flutter. She thinks that it is the reminder that she isn't alone anymore. The reminder that she isn't impossible to love.

.oOo.

Aang thinks that conversation is coming easier to her now. Discussions at dinner are nowhere near as intense and he thinks that Zuko, Mai, and TyLee are begining to get a feel for which of her off color remarks are nothing more than social stumblings.

She laughs with Zuko, jokes with the man. And Aang begins to realize that he has been approaching their conflict the song way. That he has been sporting Air Temple wisdoms in a Fire Nation place. Neither of them are ever going to apologize to each other. But, as far as he is concerned, there had already been one; it is in a silent and mutual agreement to move on.

And maybe it isn't a Fire Nation thing at all--even if Fire Nation pride had been on the line--but a sibling thing.

Aang sits on the edge of her bed and watches her strip out of her day clothes. "Hand me that nightrobe, Avatar."

He tosses it over and watches her slip into it. She comes to sit down next to him. She is strangely quiet now that he has grown accustomed to her speaking more.

"What's wrong, Azula?"

She holds her silence for another moment. "It feels...perplexing," she answers at last, "to feel...content. To have friends, I think that I have friends now. Do I have friends, Avatar?"

Aang grins, "I think that it's safe to say that you do."

And it is nice to be able to tell her so. Nice to see the relief in her eyes. There is a special kind of beauty in a returning peace of mind. A beauty that shows on her face.

.oOo.

She nods, "I didn't think that I would get this far." Things are still somewhat tense between she and Mai and TyLee is still weary but at least they are letting her in. At least she can work with this.

At least she doesn't feel like a lost cause, an irredeemable evil anymore

She isn't sure that she is adequately able to express why this makes her feel however she is feeling.

Truth be told, she thought that she would end up dead or braindead. Instead she feels a sense of openness. She thinks that she has unlocked several opportunities, new paths.

She has made something of the air chakra's lesson and with it the pieces begin to fall into place. A ripple effect; with the return of love and the achievement of having earned it for herself came a sense of pride and strength. She thinks that she understands exactly with it means to find pride in shame and greatness in weakness.

She feels bolder in that the decisions and oaths she has chosen for herself Are already more rewarding than the destiny that her father had picked for her

But it comes with a sense of discomfort, a knowingness that she once again has precious things that she is able to lose.

And she is afraid to lose them. Afraid lol lose her rediscovered sense of stability. This is what she explains to Aang.

"You've already lost everything once, I feel like that only happens once in a lifetime." He pauses, "and I've had several of them so I can confirm that."

She allows him to scoop her up and tuck her in. In the back of her mind she wonders what Sangyul would make of her falling for the Avatar on her own. At the forefront of her mind she decides that it is time.

"I had three goals, Avatar."

"Three goals?"

"Mind, soul, and heart." She pauses, brushing her fingers over the silken hem of her sleeve. "I wanted to take Sangyul down, mend old relationships, and...and learn to," she can't keep her face from flushing, "learn to live you."

Aang Snicket's at her scarlet cheeks and comes to join her under the blankets. "And."

"I have completed two of my goals. It is time to work on the third "