#;; WITHOUT THE REMINDER THE HOUSE LOST ITS WAY. THE HOUSE NEEDS ITS WOMEN. IT CANT SURVIVE WITHOUT THEM. AND SHE KNEW.

[freshstartbaby]

Un

🎧 Body - Syd

I watched my house, cardbord on the ground, like me, leg crossed. White walls, a little smell of vinegar. Thats what I used to finally clean up everything.

Why do I feel like shit ? I mean one part of me cant wait to be in my new place. But the other ? I really feel like I kind of failed here. I got a job, two to be exact, I can provide for myself. I got few friends and thats it. I was wondering if my mum will ever know if I left the town. Maaaan I got to stop overthinking.

It was 8pm and I was waiting for Theo's call. Thanks to god he told me he will help me wih the moving. His help was so precious. Like always. My phone rang with « Theo 🤍 » on my screen . I picked up

« Sup mister T » I said softly « Hi Rob, you good ? » he answered « I am actually, and you ? » « Good. So you really goin to leave me, you know you can still change your mind » « No way, but you know you will still be in my mind » « And in your heart. Who do you think you are ? » he started to joke « Man where are you ? » I said rolling my eyes with a smile on face « There is a litlle bit of traffic. I be there in 10 minutes. But I think the man who will help us is already there. I fowarded him your number. Did he call ? »

I checked my phone, no missed call

« Nah he didn't » « Ok, get ready I be there soon » « Thank tou Theo » « Everything for you » he hang up

I shook my head slowley left to right. He was so kind to me. He can't be real. Me and Theo knew ourself since 8 years now. He was there to help and provide when no one could. He always was very protective and he is actually the one who gave me my first job: dancer in a club. It wasn't my goal job but I could dance and it will help me paying my bills. Few years later he also refered me in company to work as a personnal assistant. I managed myself to then become a communication assistant. When you look clother, without him, I probably will end up as a cracked or worse.

When we met I was 16 and he was 22. It was a very protective relationship. But the older we get, the akward it became. I mean physically he turned to a man as i turned to a young women. And even if he always shows me mad respect, the way he was watching and talking to me changed. Not in a bad way, but I could feel there was more. I aint gon lie, he is good looking, got money and got pure heart. But i couldnt wiling to lost him if we turned into a relationship. He was one of few people around me. Aint ready to loose one of them.

When I told him that I decided to move in LA, maaaan, he wasn't down for it. But as always, he helped me. He got fews relations so we find a cute flat quickly than I thought. The place was smooth and warm. We flew to LA to visit it, and i actually loved it. So now here I am waiting for a friend of his to move my stuff to LA. Let me get it straight. I aint no baby. I can take care of myself. But when it comes to Theo, he always wants to help. And I aint gonna lie, it feel good to be take care of.

The ring belled, I stood up to open the door. He looked at me, I looked at him.

« Can I help you ? » rising an eyebrow acting like I didn't know him « Stop playing » he said moving in my place « Hi » I said to the man following Theo « Robyn this is Eric, Eric this The New York leaver »

I rolled my eyes and shook my head slowly. Eric and Theo helped me to put my stuff in the truck. It was quickly made thanks to them. Also even if I hadnt much things I droped a lot. Eric told me that they will arrive the next monday in my new place. I thanked him as he left when I felt someone behind me. I turned around found Theo on his phone.

« First of all you didn't say hi »

I pulled him softly in a hug. His hands wrapped my shoulder as he kissed my cheek softly

« Then tell me where do I drop you ? » he said « Alex's place » « Lets go »

He put my suitcase in his trunck and we headed to Alexendra's place. I sold my car few weeks before so he proposed me to drop me where I needed yesterday.

Alexandra is one of my best friend. She's like a sister to be honest. We know each other for like forever and she always be down for me. Im stayin at her place tonight so I can catch my flight tommorow.

The road was silent but confortable. Theo and I like to be quiet sometines. We're the type of people who arent afraid of silence. As we arrived to Alexendra's place we stayed a little in the car.

« You need help with the suit case ? » « Na Im good, but thank you. Thank you for everything. It means a lot» I look at him « Stop saying this like its a goodbye » « Im not » « You better »

We pulled into a thight hug «You know I'm always be around and if you need to come back my door is open» « I hope it will be fine dont say that »

He look at me kiss my cheek and said

« Take care » « You too Theo »

I got off the car, took my suitcase and watched him leave. As we disapear on the corner I called Alex.

« Yes baby » « Im here, remind me your code » « You still dont remember it, you do it on purpose » « Guuuurl what is it ?» « 7110 » « Thank youuuuuu »

I taped the code and got to her place

« Sup baby » « Wassup baby, how you doin ?» « Good and you ? » « Everything is alright, I mean my best friend is leaving in an another town but Im good » « Guuuurl, it is for the better » « I know that, Im just getting emotional » « Dont do that » « Im trying, I swear ! How did you came ? You took a uber ? » « Nah, Theo droped me »

She set down on her large cozy couch eying me with a small smile

« What ? » I asked « Noooothing ! » she tapped the place next to her so I can take place « You just goin to sit down and tell me what's popin between you and this white daddy, finally» she said swith a smirk « Nothing is popin, I already told you that » i said sitting next to her « But you got to admit he is good lookin » « I never said he isnt » « Maybe a little bit skinny but he is still handsome » « He is. » « So he never try to own that » she said pointing at myself « And dont try to tell me no, I saw him plenty time trying to get you. » « Alex, it is not goin to hape- « «  Whyyyyyyyy » « Because I dont want to » I said laughin « GURL IS YOU GAY ?» « Oh my god. Alexendra. » «  No because if you are it is ok. But you need to tell me, so I can introduce him to friend of mine. Its such a waste » « Whatever » I said looking at her smiling

This girl is so crazy. Full of good vibe. Always pushing me to my best. She is fam yall. Our phones started buzzing at the same time. It was a whatsap phone call from our conversation « Mexico 🥵 ».

With some friends we decided to go on a trip to Mexico. For the big part, I knew them from school or club. As we grew older all of us took different ways but still got mad love for eachother. This week trip was the way to link up. I didnt knew some people like David, Florian and Veronica but everything went well during the organisation so I wasnt « afraid » that they were annoying.

The trip is next Monday so we schedule this video chat to make a last check. With all the stuff with my moving I almost forget about this call. Alex and I were together so I decided not to answer from my phone and step clother to her so we can both be on her screen

« Hi » « Wassup beauties » Alexander says

We all said hi to each other and waited to see if someone was missing.

« Who is missing » I asked « Flo is not here » Betty said « Damn this sleeping guy, let me text him » Alexander answered

As he decided to text him, a new window poped in our screen revealing a big white man shirtless, it seems like he was in his bed.

« My bad, sorry for my lateness, wassup guys » he said in a low voice

I looked at the screen, then at Alex, then the screen again and falled into the catch moving my hand to show to Alex that this man was foooine

We giggle few seconds before getting back to our serious faces.

« Florian that is it ? » Alex asked « Yup » « Time is money you owe us all a drink when we get to the mexico » « Maaaan dont play me like that, I was taking a nap, gym killed me today» he said

Of course he was goin to the gym, look at this chest. I tried to fix my self when we all talked for like an hour about last informations, who will arrive when, who shares room, what type of activites we wanted to do. I cant wait for this trip to be honest. I dont travel that much. I could release the stress from my moving, my new job and the new town I will be living in.

« Rob you still in New York ?» Michael asked « Yeees, my fligt is tomorrow » « Where you goin ? » Betty asked « Moving to LA » I said softly « LA GANG MY MAN ! » Florian shouted « Thats great, really big move » Alexander said « Finger crossed » Veronica « Dont worry, as wherever it will be ok if you work hard enough » Florian said « Oh dont worry she is a hard worker » Alex said miming a blow job

I snaped her head as everyone shared an hard laugh. Few minutes later we hang up. I went to the bathroom, washed myself, my tooth and changed myself in something more confortable. I went back to the living room and find Alexandra on the phone. By the way she was smiling and laughing I could tell it was Alexander. Yeah. This gurl find a boyfriend with the same name. That's kind of cute but it's also so corny. She hanged up, stood uo and went to the kitchen

« Sooooo » « What do you want again ? » i said a smirk in my face « I was wondering » she looked at me with a vicious smile « What is it Alex ? » « Are you down for some dick in Mexico » « You are something else you know that » « Im just asking ! There will be latino guys, foreigner and gurl this man Florian, he is free like the wind » «How do you know that ? » « I asked Alexander » « Mmmmh » « Mmmmh ? Gurl when is the lastime you had a man making you feel right ? I aint talking about relationship because that is another level and I know you trying to put yourself first since...» « Yea no. I'm not ready but let me think » « The fact that you have to think is not ok, you know that if the sexual frustration is not evacueted it can damaged you » « I got toys dont worry » I said putting my finger in a peace sign while im leaving the kitchen

I went to her guest bedroom, sitted on the bed and put my durag on. After sliding under the sheets I did my breath exercise so I could fall asleep faster but I couldn't. It was these exercises or sleeping pills. But I try to use them less and less since few month. They knocked me hard to hard man. After 30 minutes of try, I took my phone and opened Instagram. I scrolled my screen without being focused at all, laugh at fews memes and double tap some post. I tought about what Alex told me. It's true. It been a while since I havent give a man his chance. It didn't went well the last time. Ok here we go overthinking. I shook my hand thinking of how dumb I was when I tought about Florian. He was fine its true but you know men are trash. At least men I have a crush on 😭. I tapped « florian » in the research bar to see if I could find him. I didn't. Im defenatly not a FBI member. I will ask to Alex tomorrow, or not, it's not a good idea.

——-

I was hugging Alexandra thighly at the airport. The voice called the passagers of my flight to get ready.

« I'm goin to miss you crazy ass » I whispered « I'm goin to miss you more Robyn, but stop being weak before I start crying » « Come on aint nobody goin to cry » I push her shoulder « we're tough girls remember ? » « Yea but I wrote you a letter » she gave me a letter as I look at her ready to make fun of her « You wrote me a letter, you must be in love with me » « Of course I am, yo you're my friend soulmate » « Ok you gon make me cry now » « Go get your flight »

I tried to open the letter when she took my hand

« The fuck is you doin, you have to read it in your flight, or when you arrive to your new place but not now » « Okaaaaaaay mrs emotional »

I kissed her cheek and grabed my suit case before leaving

« See you in Tulum baby ! »

I put a peace sign above my head a went take my flight.

As I settled in my seat, I leaned my head back to the couch. Here we go baby. You can do this. You got this. It's goin to be fine. I was motivated myself when my phone buzzed. I watched my phone screen and see that Theo sent me a vocal. I put my AirPods on tap on my screen to listen his whatsap vocal message.

James. Theo James. : « You're in the plane ? »

I send him a quick answer

Robyn ✨: Yup 🛫

James. Theo James. : Ok

I watched the screen as I saw « James. Theo James is writing » when a big as message droped. Oh my god. He is goin to make me cry. Or worse. I rubbed my forehead before start reading.

James. Theo James. :

« Robyn. My baby. I know your flight is getting ready to take off. So I'm writing this to you so you can be ready for this new page.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

You're smart, kind, open minded,fierce, talented, reliable, honest and a fighter. I know life ain't did good to you lately, and it's destroying me to see you leave but baby it's a fresh start. Leave all the madness, the pain and the self doubt where you at because LA is goin to be fire baby. No more drama, no more pathetic boyfriend, no more struggling. Put yourself above everything, because you deserve it. Keep your mental healthy. Communicate more, talk free and never be afraid to make people to ear your voice.

As I always say to you, even if the blood don't link us, you mean the world to me. Whenever you need anything blow my phone. I will always have an eye on you even if I know you are and you are becoming a boss a bitch woman every single day.

I know you are goin to kill it.

Text me when you arrive to your new home

I will come visit you in few months

Theo 🤍 »

I closed my eyes, bitted my lips and hold my phone on my chest. Don't cry, don't cr- too late. Tears were all over my face as I try to mute myself. Even I tried to hide it, I was feeling shitty. And those words just gave me the feeling of being discovered. I don't know how it was possible. Even if Theo and I were closed I have difficulties to talk out when I'm not feeling myself. And with this message I knew that all this time he knew how I felt but give me my space.

LA be good to me please.

—-

🎧 1 pound - Brymo

The sunlight woke me this morning. I really need to buy curtains. I mean in the rest of the place it's not that important, but wake this way is so uncomfortable. I like the darkness in my bedroom you know ? And all this light, god chill out 🤣

I stood up and head ou to the bathroom and then to the kitchen. I watched the board where I wrote my to do list yesterday night. Yeaaaa i'm trying to be more disciplined woman. I mean organized but sometimes I get too lazy. Like if I invented the word lazy myself.

End the bathroom Shopping at the supermarket Look for a car End the suitcase Work out (you can do this)

I laugh at myself knowing that I will probably not doing the last one. I washed my dishes and turn on the speaker to get in a better mood. I clean a little some stuff since there was still some cardboard here and there. I find myself dancing in front the big mirror in one of the corridor when my phone rang. I didn't know the number so I turned of the music and clear my throat.

« Robyn Matthew, how can I help you » « Hi Robyn this is William. I am with Olivia, you're on speaker. How are you ? » « Hello Robyn »

Ow my new bosses.

« Oh hello to both of you, I'm great thank you to ask. How about you two ? » « We're good ourself thank you. Have you settled yet ? » « Mmh there is still few unopened cardboards but I'm good » « Good to ear that » « You will love LA » Olivia said « I hope so, how can I help you ? » « Well Robyn we were wondering, sorry to ask again but weren't you supposed to start today ?»

My eyes grew wide as my eyebrow start dancing. I wasn't supposed to start today hell no

« I don't think so, I mean I asked to the RH department to postponed my arrival since I have a trip planned » « Oh my baaaaaaaaaad » Olivia shooted « What is it » he asked to Olivia I think « I totally forgot to tell you, Cindy told me few weeks ago but it disappeared from my mind »

My heart stoped racing fast when I told them

« You scared me ! » « I'm so sorry Robyn, William I'm sorry too » « Oh it's ok, you owe us a coffe when she arrives » « Deal » she said laughing « You better note that, or you will forget it too » « Very funny » « Anyway sorry to have bothered you Robyn » William said « It's fine » « Where are you going ? » Olivia asked « Sorry ? » « You said you are goin on a trip, where is it ? »

I twisted my face. How is that suppposed to concern them ? Robyn stay open, be nice, they're just trying to be nice.

« Tulum » « Oh Mexico, well lucky you » « Oh my god, I wish I could have holidays to a place like this » « Anyway Robyn, enjoy you're trip and come back to us resourced. You can't wait to work with you » « Thank you, see you soon » « Bye »

I hang up, a weird feeling in my guts. I mean they were nice. But I'm not really use to have this kind of conversation with my bosses. I tought that they were a good duo both of them. I find myself a little anxious about having two bosses but it's goin to be fine.

Im goin to tell you this, and ear me out when I say: You got this.

I got this. I wanted to turn back on the music. So I scrolled my screen when I saw an Instagram notification.

@bignasty wants to follow you

My face twisted again. Big nasty ? What the hell is that. I'm sure this is a porn count, or a pervet who will try to slide in my Dm. So many weird people on social medias. Thanks god the private button exists so I can control borders 😂 I clicked on it when I saw his face.

Wow.

I took few step back to my couch as my hand was on my chest. Jesus Christ. I found myself put my hand on my mouth so I don't scream and laugh akwardly. God. It was Florian. I mean I think. No no no it was him. How can you forget a face like this. I hold my breath as scrolled down his feed. This man was... l have no word. I rubbed my eyes trying to get back to earth, with a big dumb smile on my face when my phone rang

Xandra 💍 is calling

I picked up and put her on the speaker. I said hi to her in a low voice, I was feeling like I'm out of breath

« GUUUUUUUURL » she screamed « Wassup » « Did Florian asked you on Ig ? » « He did. » « GIRRRL DID YOU SAW THESE PICTURES ?!!!! » « Alexandra, i was checking him when you called » « GURRRRRRL IF YOU DONT EAT HIM ON THIS TRIP I'M KILLING YOU »

I start rubbing my eye again. He was something else. God. Why do I feel this. Then I found myself playing with my finger, where my engagement ring used to be.

It gave me a quick reminder.

« Ok he is super hot, but don't count on me for that » « You're such a child when you act like that. You know what, I'm sure you pantie is already soaking looking at his pic, so just wait. When he is goin in front of you there will be no « don't count on me for that » » « shut up » « Have you end your suite case ? » « Not yet, I think it will be handle this evening» « Ok look listen to me wisely. I don't know what you choose but switch it all up with sexiest stuff » « I'm tired of you »

We stayed on the phone for like an hour. You know how it is when besties are on the phone. All the day she kept teasing me with Florian but I didn't give attention. But I wanted to make her laugh a little so I teased her with a screen and a meme

She hit me back with a message 

« gurl this is too much, you really goin to miss this chance »

What chance ? He just followed me on Instagram. I didn't even accept him yet. He must have a girlfriend, or be a fuck boy. Maybe is he gay. Ok Robyn overthinking AGAIN. It's goin to be cute holidays. I don't want to mess this up.

—— 3836 words

Wassup guys ?

How do you feel about this beginning ?

Is everything understable ? I'm French so you know you girl is struggling a little 🙈

Do not hesitate to give me feedbacks, react, and all that stuff

Next step, Tulum baby 🥵

Take care

NEXT PART

[solaneceae]

MY HUMAN!EGOS AU

i got a surge of inspiration and started creating my own versions of the egos! its still a work in progress but i love them to bits and im really excited to share them

JACKIE

grew up in an abusive household, emotional and sometimes physical abuse

parents screamed at each other all the fucking time, father was an alcoholic

Left home as soon as he was able to live by himself (16)

he’s 22 now

poor

trans boi, on T, wears a binder cuz he can’t afford top surgery

lives in an apartment with two roommates: Max, a philipino sound designer and independent musician (they/them) and their girlfriend Nilanjana (Nana), a buff training coach from indian descent

Jackie is in a queerplatonic relationship with them: they cuddle and kiss on the forehead during movie nights and all that cute shit

he has a part-time day job to pay the rent and bills: he gives self-defense lessons

he drinks his respect women juice

vigilante at night. gets hurt a lot. his roommates think he fights in an illegal fight club for extra cash and are worried about him

wants to save people and spread positivity wherever he goes

but he has the wrong way to go about it

basically he does the PMA thing wrong and thinks any kind of negativity is bad and tries to force himself to be happy all the time. 

not healthy, someone help this poor boi

anger issues, undiagnosed ptsd and ADHD

antsy boi! stimmy boi! He’s always bouncing on his feet or humming a tune or fiddling with his hair

aromantic asexual

pure of heart, dumb of ass. seriously, he’s such a dumb, but he does have street smarts

vitiligo!!

light blue eyes, dyes his brown hair lime green

extrovert, loves people

the kind of guy to record himself doing parkour and post it on tiktok

team hot cocoa

for the love of god please don’t give him coffee, he’s enough of a jitterbug already

wants a dog. prolly needs an emotional support one.

plays the drums. Fished a beat-up set somewhere, would like a proper one

fights with his fists and a wooden staff

no special powers, just self-taught fighting skills, natural flexibility and talent at acrobatics and rigorous training

MARVIN

he was born with green cat eyes, the physical representation of his extremely potent magic. parents were freaked out, and basically hid him away

had no control over his powers as a baby, would wreak havoc around him. think Mob from Mob Psycho 100

the upper side of his face was badly burned when he lost control of his powers as a toddler, so he wears masks to hide the scars. the cat one is just the one he wears most often

“hey, nice mask!” “it’s a prosthetic.” “...oh.” (it’s not that bad really, he’s just really self-conscious about it)

he was homeschooled his whole life and generally wasn’t allowed to go out much, so his social life/skills are nonexistent

his parents are famous fashion designers

they’re super rich and travel the world and send him a ridiculous amount of money every month

they say it’s for work but the real reason is that they couldn’t deal with having a “freak” as a son but couldn’t abandon him without getting bad PR

so instead they just took their distance and left him to live in a big-ass mansion by himself as soon as he was old enough (10 years old)

they dont really care what he does. last time they called him was when he was 13

last time they sent him a birthday card was when he was 18

now he’s 24

(and at this point he makes me think of bruce wayne lmao. he needs an alfred)

since he has money and home, he doesn’t need a job, so he just stays cooped up in the property and almost never leaves, he orders his food and groceries to be delivered to him

he’s basically a hermit at this point. and a huge nerd

he tries to use his natural magic as little as possible, (hello trauma my old friend) so he still has flimsy control over it

instead he dabbles into wicca and the occult to do stuff

A bookworm, quite serious, dresses like a hipster art school student. he wears SAROUEL PANTS.

glasses!! Big round rimless glasses!! soft!!!!

long brown hair, messy bun, dyes the tips dark green and purple 

disaster gay

“sleep? what’s that? i only know coffee”

has three cats he rescued himself: Spades, Jasper and Poppy

has a huge greenhouse linked to the main building. he likes gardening a lot, whether it’s for his craft, for cooking or just because he likes seeing plants flourish

HOW THEY BOTH MET / IDEAS AND SHIT

Jackie tried to take on a whole ass drug ring and bit more than he could chew at the time so he got beat up pretty bad. He managed to escape with his trusty grappling hook and swung around a bit before crashing through the glass ceiling of the greenhouse while Marv was tending to his plants, in the early morning.

Long story short Marv is in a panic because a complete stranger (also the only human being he’s interacted with in months) just flopped in front of him and is probably dying and he wants to call an ambulance.

jackie: *beaten black and blue and coughing up blood* jackie: oh hey how’s it goin’ marv: *distressed nerd noises* marv: oh my god who the fuck are you but also are you dying in my house im calling an ambulance- jackie: uh yeah no please dont im kinda doing illegal stuff also i cant afford it marv: marv: wh-

also what if marv calls the family’s doctor since jackie won’t go to a hospital, and it’s fucking Schneep henrik: what the fuck did you do this time marv: it wasn’t me! jackie: your family doctor scares me marv: that’s why they hired him

maybe after that jackie keeps coming to see marv and marv is like “ugh you again-” and he always come to marv whenever he gets hurt, to get patched up by schneep. he broke the ceiling two more times basically they become “hey ron hey billy” vine, its just a habit at this point.

Marv is a rich boi that doesn’t know anything about life. at this point i realize he’s like a mix of Elsa and Rapunzel, and Jackie is kinda Flynn xD Jackie just… aggressively becomes Marv’s friend despite the magic man’s reluctance, and shows him the world. love me some smart grumpy nerd/dumb happy jock friendship

jackie: im your friend now marv: wh- jackie: *drags him outside* LETS GO CLIMB A BUILDING TOGETHER-

Marvin but he’s never been in a grocery store in his entire life because he just orders super expensive pre-made meals to his house or cooks his own veggies, and he’s just amazed at the first one they go to

like “wHAT, IT’S A ROW OF FREEZERS! Remind me to install one of these at my place!”

and Jackie, who just came here for bread and milk, looks at him fondly but also is very concerned. Also he doesnt question marv’s masks, he just thinks they look cool

@tabbynerdicat it’s my bois! @lilakennedy because i know you like those two, and your love for them motivated me to develop them first

[controloffandoms]

Paparazzi (J.A.)

Prompt: Requested by anonymous for a friend. (I’m sorry, I lost the ask so I came up with this without the prompt)

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Daughter!Reader, slight Thomas Padalecki x reader

Words: 3193

Warnings: cursing, Paparazzi, panic, anxiety

Notes: I may or may not have been reading a lot of fics about the daughter/dad relationship between Jensen and his daughter, the reader. For the purposes of this story, Thomas is 17, Shep is 10 and Odette is 5. JJ is 8, Arrow and Zep are 4. Maison is 13 and West is 16. Obviously I’m changing the years of birth :)

Part 2

Ever since you could remember, you had been put in the spotlight. Your father, Jensen Ackles, was a huge star in the show Supernatural and everyone wanted to know about his personal life...and that included you. Not to mention that you had a weird family from the cast of Supernatural. You had your Uncles Jared, Misha, Jim, and so on. You had you Aunts Ruth, Kim, and so on.

The nice thing was that you could shield your younger siblings from the paps. You could almost make their life normal. You were the oldest, you could grab all of the attention in the room in order to keep your siblings at a safe distance from those who would try to get too close to your younger siblings.

You weren’t Danneel child biologically. You did call her mom, though. Your mother had dropped you off at Jensen’s when you were just a baby. That had been eighteen years ago. You’d met Danneel in 2007. It had been a while since your father had met someone and you knew he was seeing someone, but you hadn’t gotten to meet her until about a year after they had started dating. You were seven at the time and loved her instantly. When you turned nine, Danneel and your father were expecting their first child and you finally got your wish for a little sister. When you turned thirteen, you got two more siblings and you loved them all unconditionally.

You would do anything for them. Which is why you were in your current situation. “You remember the store Mom went in, right JJ,” you asked her quickly.

“Yeah, the Victoria Secret store,” she replied.

“Good, take your brother and sister into the store and find Mom, okay? Tell her that we need to be leaving soon,” you gave your sister a tight smile, trying to keep calm.

You watched as they left through the back of the music store. You watched as some of the paps went to follow and you had to think fast. You started playing the piano in a rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody accompanied with the singing. That certainly drew the paps eyes. They swarmed you and you inwardly cringed. You hated singing and playing any instrument in front of anyone, let alone paparazzi.

As you finished the small segment of the song, you stood from the piano and tried to make your way out of the store, but there was no out. Your breath picked up slightly. You hated being trapped. The paps just kept shouting questions at you. Some of them on how you learned to play the piano and sing, others on very personal matters, others you couldn’t distinguish. “I need to go-please.”

You tried to push through the paps, but they kept pushing you back. “P-please, I need to leave. I have-I have to go,” you whispered.

They kept shouting questions and kept preventing you from leaving. Your breathing continued to get faster as tears started to prickle at your eyes. You don’t know how long it was until someone was pushing their way through the crown and putting an arm around your shoulder, shouting back at the paps and forcing his way through the waves of men and women trying to get a story.

Once you were a safe distance from the store, the person stopped walking. “Hey sweetheart, are you alright,” he asked.

“Daddy,” you buried your head in his chest and wrapped your arms around him tightly. He wrapped his arms around you just as tight, placing his chin on the top of your head and talking calmly to you.

“It’s okay, don’t work yourself up. I’m sorry they attacked you like that. I thought y’all would be fine for a couple of hours by yourselves,” he hugged you even closer, running a hand over your back in an attempt to ground you.

“They-they just came out of nowhere and I was-I was with JJ and the twins and I knew that they would be scared if they stayed and I told them find Mom and then some of the paps wanted to follow them so I had to distract them and then they just all crowded me and they wouldn’t let me out and they just kept coming and screaming at me,” you sobbed slightly, holding your dad tighter.

“I’m sorry baby. I should have been there sooner.”

“Are Mom and the kids okay,” you asked after a quiet moment.

“They are just fine. They’re waiting in the car. Dani’s worried about you,” your father responded, pulling away from you slightly. “Ready to go, kid?”

A couple of weeks passed and you were finally feeling less afraid of leaving the house. As you walked through the door of the house after your classes, you were met with an eight year old running into your legs followed by the four year olds stumbling over each other as they ran towards you. “Hello, what’s the occasion for you all to attack me the second I get in the house,” you raised an eyebrow at your parents as they rounded the corner with smiles on their faces.

“Mommy and Daddy can’t take us to the park and said that maybe you could! They have work,” Arrow smiles up at you.

You chuckle but nod. “Hmm, I’ll have to check my schedule. Let’s see, I did have that scheduled tickle monster attack for my siblings at 3 PM, but I guess I could bump that up in order to take y’all to the park, Munchkin,” you raced towards JJ and picked her up, tickling her relentlessly.

“No, stop it! (Y/N),” she whined. You laughed and put her down.

You turned to your parents and smiled, “when should I be expecting y’all back?”

“We will be going to dinner at Jared’s house around seven. Do you think you could bring your siblings over? Dani and I will be coming directly from work.”

“Sure, Dad. We’ll go to the park, maybe get a light snack and either do something in town or come back here until it’s time to come over for Dinner,” you stated.

“Great, thanks baby, you’re the best,” he responded, placing a kiss on your head and doing the same to your siblings.

“Really, you’re amazing. I don’t know what we would do without you,” Dani added as she brought you into a huge hug while kissing the top of your head.

“Mom, it’s not a big deal. I love watching out for the little ones. They remind me of the energy I use to have and wish I could get back.”

“Don’t we all,” she responded.

“Alright, Miss JJ, I need to change and then we’ll head out. Help your brother and sister with their shoes,” you called out. An excited ‘okay’ was called back to you and you went to your room to change.

“JJ, don’t go to far away. I need to be able to keep an eye on you,” you called as you pushed the twins on the swings and JJ played around with a couple of the other kids at the park.

“Single mom,” the woman next to you asked.

You laughed slightly, “no, oldest sibling that only has two hands.”

“Think of it this way, the day you have your own family, it will come much easier after doing all of this now,” she responded, “and I’m speaking from experience.”

“I would hope so.”

JJ came running back over, “can we go get snacks,” she asked, face flushed from the running around she did.

“Yes, please (Y/N),” Arrow yelled, clapping her hands.

“Snacks,” Zep asked.

“Okay then, let’s go find a place to get something to tide you over to dinner.” You grabbed the twins hands and instructed JJ to walk close to you.

You walked a couple of blocks until you found a place to go. “How about we get ice cream? Just don’t tell Mom and Dad,” you winked at JJ.

“Yes,” the twins shouted. JJ nodded, bouncing on her feet. You decided to save yourself some trouble and sit the twins down with JJ in charge of making sure they don’t get up. You went to get the ice cream for the four of you.

You paid for the ice creams and sat a table. JJ took a huge bite out of her cone. You set your ice cream aside and get Zep and Arrow ready to eat theirs by trying to protect their clothes the best you could. Finally, you gave them the cups of ice cream and turned to yours, taking a bite. “Try not to get it on your clothes, Jay.”

You spent a couple of hours walking around town until it was about six twenty. “Okay, who wants to go see Uncle Jared and everyone else,” you asked. You got variation of happy sounds so you headed towards the house.

You were almost there when things turned sideways. You tried not to stop, but they swarmed you. You gave your phone to JJ with your dad’s number already dialed. You put had her get on your back. You put a twin on each hip and hugged them close and they returned the favor by burying into you. The second you heard one of the twins start crying, you lost it.

“HEY! BACK THE HELL UP, YOU ARE SCARING THE CHILDREN,” you yelled. The paparazzi went quiet, but you didn’t stop. “You guys would do anything to get a damn story and I’m fucking tired of it! There are better ways to get your stories than ganging up on people! Back the hell up and let me through or I swear to God it’s not going to be pretty,” you glared at the paps in front of you.

They moved slowly to let you through. JJ quietly handed your phone to you as you moved through the crowd who was slowly starting to get louder. “Dad, yeah. I’m three blocks away. Concord Street. Please hurry, I think they’re gonna start up again,” you quietly whispered through the phone.

Not only were the paps freaking your sibling out, but they were freaking you out, but you didn’t get to hide away from them because you were protecting your siblings. You sure as hell weren’t going to let them be even more freaked out by the jackasses.

You backed up from the paps-who were starting their shouting again. “You want a story? Why don’t you write about how paparazzi don’t understand the term ‘personal space’ or how the paparazzi are willing to scare the hell out of three children in order to try and get the juiciest story? I don’t care if you swarm me when I’m alone, but don’t you dare do it when I have my siblings with me! What the hell is wrong with you?!”

More questions were shouted your way and you ignored them. “You wonder why no one wants to talk to you and this is why. You take and take and take and never give back. You do anything for a story that isn’t even true. You twist the words and situations and you give bad reputations to people who deserve so much better than that. Fuck off and stop scaring my family,” you growled, chancing a look behind you to see your father, Jared, and Misha hurrying towards you.

You placed Arrow and Zep down and they ran to your father. You let Misha take JJ and Jared took care of you. Before you could completely walk away, you turned back and got out of Jared’s grip. “And another thing, why don’t you try being decent enough human beings to try and get the stories straight. Stop scaring the shit out of people and book an appointment to talk to someone. Or is that too complicated for you to follow? You should all be fucking ashamed of yourselves! You made children cry, you scarred them and for what? For me to yell at you? For me to yell at you and you to make up a story about how mentally unstable I am? To shine a bad rep on my family? Yeah you should be fucking ashamed,” you growled and let Jared lead you away.

You climbed into the car, biting your lip. All attempts to talk to you slowly died out once you got to Jared’s house. You quickly got out of the car and walked into the house. You bypassed Dani and the others, heading straight for a bathroom. You locked the door behind you and looked into the mirror. You hadn’t realized you’d started crying.

You wiped your tears and let out a couple of shaky breaths. You turned the sink on and splashed your face multiple times before wiping it off. You looked at your form in the mirror, seeing the shaking easily and you took a couple of deep breaths to calm down.

A knock shook you out of your head. “Just a minute,” you called out quietly.

“It’s Tom, open the door, Ackles.”

You debated for a minute before unlocking the door to let him in. He walked in, closing and locking the door behind him. You had sat leaning on the cabinet before Tom had turned to look at you. He joined you on the floor, sitting close enough so that the sides of your bodies barely touched.

It was quiet for a few minutes before Tom spoke. “They don’t know when to stop. They don’t know boundaries and they think that they can do anything. I’m scared of them too. I hate being in the spotlight. It’s okay to be afraid,” he stated.

You leaned a head on his shoulder and wrapped an arm around his waist, “I know...it’s just like they’ve been targeting me and Jay and Arrow and Zep and they freak me out but I can’t show that to my siblings or else they would be even more scared. So I push it back and handle it. Then it all catches up and it crashes down all at once,” you whispered back. Tom’s arm pulled you closer, his head resting on top of yours.

“It’s going to be okay. They’ll find someone else to chase after soon enough.”

“But they shouldn’t! It’s fucked what they’re doing and they know it. They made all three of my siblings cry today, Tom! That’s not alright,” you brought a hand to your face, wiping away your tears.

“I know that. Them making you cry isn’t alright either...but there’s not much we can do about it. We just have to keep moving on and making sure you and your siblings are alright.”

You sighed and nodded slightly. “Yeah...but I need a moment to pull myself together,” you responded.

“And I’m right here to help you get it together.”

Everyone had decided to stay at Jared’s for the night. He had plenty of rooms to share anyway. You couldn’t sleep though. The paparazzi swarm had really gotten to you. Slowly over dinner, you had forgotten about it, even if it was just for a little while, but now it was coming back full force.

You got yourself up from the bed and quietly made your way to the kitchen. You grabbed a glass and filled it with water. You sighed and leaned against the counter. “Couldn’t sleep,” Tom asked from the doorway. His tall frame was covered in shadows.

You shook your head. “My brain won’t shut off,” you whispered.

Tom walked into the kitchen and began getting things out from the cupboards. “I have an idea.”

You shook your head as Tom started putting ingredients into a bowl. “You are insane, Thomas Padalecki,” you laughed and started to help him.

You relaxed into the couch, Tom sitting beside you as you both were eating the cookies you’d made and were drinking the milk. “I’m surprised, they actually taste good,” you looked at Tom.

He fake gasped and placed a hand to his heart, “I’m offended. I am a wonderful cook and baker.”

“The last time you cooked, you burned the pasta.”

“That was one time,” he quietly exclaimed. He placed an arm over your shoulder and leaned further against the couch.

You relaxed even more against him, feeling sleep pull you in. “Thanks for this, Tom. You didn’t have to stay and put up with me,” you yawned.

“I’d do anything to see that beautiful smile on your face,” he responded as you fell into the arms of sleep.

You slowly woke to the sound of muttering voices. As you slowly became aware of everything around you, you felt the arm around your waist. You could also feel the mattress below you moving….wait, that wasn’t a mattress. You opened your eyes and squinted at the light. Somehow during the night, you and Tom had moved to lay fully onto the couch with you on top of Tom.

The voices got slightly louder as they entered from another room. “We should wake them up,” your father stated.

“It looks like they had a long night, Jens, let them sleep,” Gen replied.

“Yeah, let them sleep,” Tom’s chest rumbled under you. His voice was deeper from lack of use. His arm around you tightened slightly as he started to doze off again.

You flushed slightly and bit your lip. “You should see your faces,” Misha lost it. Curious, you looked over the couch to where your father and Jared had varying degrees of shock, excitement, and amusement on their faces.

“Your faces are kind of funny,” you mumbled and placed your head back on Tom’s chest, feeling the tiredness sink in again.

“Oh no you don’t,” your father responded. “Time to go (Y/N).”

“I don’t want to,” you grumbled and snuggled more into Tom’s chest, wishing to go back to sleep. You heard multiple choked laughs at the response. You assumed your father was giving them a look that made them try to be serious.

“Tom, (Y/N) needs to go,” Misha stated.

“No,” he responded.

You laughed quietly. “We can do this again sometime. We can talk later,” you whispered, not really wanting to make your father angry.

Tom made a sad noise but his arm slowly released you. He sighed and sat up. Because you were on his chest, you went with him. “Hello there,” he smirked as your faces were inches from each other.

“H-Hey. Um, I have to-I’ve got to g-go,” you quickly got off Tom and leaned down to give him an awkward hug. “Talk to you later,” you rushed.

“Yeah,” he smiled genuinely. “Maybe next time we won’t be so rudely interrupted,” he smirked.

Your face flushed even redder and you made a couple of unintelligible sounds. “I-uh-I d-don’t think-that’s not-I-bye Tom,” you stuttered and hurried out of the room, catching small glimpses of the adults’ faces. Most were close to cracking up. Jared had a proud but amused look on his face and Jensen’s was stone hard. This was going to be a fun ride home.

Supernaturalites

@dragon-star-light @lifelovelaughangell123 @clarinette07 @jessikared97 @the-wintergirl

[tristealven]

Proportion Surviving

by Renee Gladman, from Juice (Kelsey St. Press, 2000)

Long before the fresh apple crisis, my life had some form to it. I would wake in the mornings—I would perform something. For example, the day I tried, as one with acute passion might, to win one woman over but accidentally won another—that whole time I had been living like someone. Though I can’t remember his name. His model of optimism provided me with a certain geography that I inhabit in time of need. This time the need was surprising. People tend to have faith that the juice they drink in the morning is the same juice they have always drunk. And apples take their shape naturally. The guy, whose name escapes me now, taught me to look upon others’ concerns as mine to make at home. I was fond of doing many things at home, but my favorite was drinking juice. When my friends came by—they liked to suddenly show up with all kinds of breads in their hands, thinking they knew what I needed and planning to force it on me—I had to tell them I was busy with my juice. Two weeks before the crisis, I had been writing some poems about it. It was a warm day, not entirely different from other warm days in San Francisco. People were on the street. Pale people were on the street, making it to the park and lying there such that the next day they were a little browned. The poems I had written were failures, but dense ones. It seemed appropriate to think the person’s attempt at wholeness was a series of missteps, which if drawn across an afternoon might prove interesting to other people. I had a way of reminding my friends that we were all in pain, but a fruit tart kind of pain strangers can’t help but enjoy. That day I had, in a sense, gathered all my possessions and gone out onto the street with them. I awoke that morning with an urgency to prepare myself for something—not anything life threatening, but definitely personal. My lover, then, wanted to spend much of her life asleep. She had no ostensible reaction to the city’s sudden depletion of all its fresh apples and no hope for them. In a world where a person’s tastes revolve around the kind of sleep she gets, I could not find four people who cared. I thought that if I could find those four people we could really do something. A few of my friends pretended they were chosen. A few neighbors felt bad and made offers. My mother called to console me. My lover—in actuality, the closest person to being a member of the encumbered troop, slept next to me. Sleep became our network: falling in and out of it for change. The rule of survival is that no two people can lie in the same bed and sleep at the same time. So I kept an eye on her and played this game of freshness. If by morning I could quickly run out and do seven things that did not involve longing, she would reward me. Before the crisis, the reward would have needed only to be an apple one. But after the apples were gone. The landscape usually contains the solution to what’s lost. Demographics help people in cars. Some people did not notice me. Some demographers lose sleep and do not notice me. That was two days before. The evening before it was two days before the crisis, I was thinking that I did not think I was asleep. I had been watching the sunlight take the corner of my room and my housemate’s cat in it. When I looked again, there was no light—but I had not been asleep. It’s the way people react to traumatic events. They say, “I had just been there” or will say, “She was just with me.” So the loss of light was emotional and the lost state—demographic. I began to trace things by their disappearance. Alone in the room, my memory, and anticipated darkness going for light. People like to talk about the daytime. People in strange moods often miss the daytime. Before the crisis it was not often that one would find me in strange moods. I had managed a particular kind of balance fortified by a certain satisfaction of taste. I was happy. I mean, I was in my juice. Five weeks before the crisis, I was employed at the natural foods grocery around the corner from my house. I did not really work there, but I went there every week. All but the third Sunday of each month, I would walk in and find all kinds of juice on sale. Not to buy, but to stand next to. Shorter people have the privilege of proximity to most cardboard signs. That was one thing. I would stand there and be something for taller people who couldn’t see. I had gotten into the habit of improvised customer service as a way to peruse the juice aisles without being noticed. My parents thought my talents should have led me somewhere. My father would always say, “If you’re not going to be a people person, then numbers will have to do.” He was surprised that with all the time I had on my hands, I chose to spend most of it alone. Numbers then did hold some mystery for me, but mostly too high and far-reaching to explore. For years I had known that if there was a wall between where I was and where I needed to be, I did not want it there. Some people have personal goals that are demanding. Certain goals make it impossible to lounge around in bed. My decision to drink only fresh juice, which costs as much as a small satisfying breakfast, kept me busy rounding up cash. I would have to leave most friendships behind. As a way of keeping my life “wall-free,” I had to divide my time. I would spend the first part of the day searching for volunteer positions in organic juice factories. The second part of my day I would spend telling people about the first part. The other parts are not of substance here. Twenty-five years before the crisis I had for the first time what would eventually become known to me as apple juice. Twenty-three years later a magazine editor would reject my first attempt to recount that experience in litany. I am always drinking in my poems, a good friend says. In the first years of my life, everything I ate was mush. Today I will tolerate only the toughest of green vegetables and date people who will always forget this. When I had that remarkable glass of apple juice, I had no idea that one day I simply would not be able to find it. The city gets rid of its apples. People find themselves inventing fruit. The day I decided to write poems about it—it was twelve days before the rumors began and fourteen days before the media coverage—I had been resting in my best friend’s easy chair. We were discussing the rise of the smoothie industry when something fantastic occurred to me. Five days later I had twenty poems. When a person writes a poem about her passions, people on the street are bound to notice them. The passions overwhelm the body. She carries the body as though it were the book. The friend whose easy chair gave way to my failures moved out of town the next week, and though I miss her it was the failures that saved me. On every other day any kind of crisis one finds particular sayings helpful. If certain words are spoken quietly into a cup of hot water, with the handle of the cup turned toward the wall, whatever strength found in the person may be mirrored in the wall. The person leaves the house with her hand against this wall but strutting slightly. In the alley behind the natural foods grocery, I met my second lover for the first time. Meeting people in vulnerable places accentuates the passion later. Or it may be so hot that the lover never thinks in the present. And the weather was so hot during the crisis. Only the alleys had shade. Forty-eight days into the crisis, while on a thirst strike, I had to make a run for the alley. Not as though people were after me, but the elements. The foundation of anyone feeling that they must get away is need; at the bottom of any body-based need is grace. When I appeared at the opening of the alley, a woman who not twenty-four hours later would be dozing in my bed was stacking crates against the east-side wall. Women who work against surfaces inspire me to do things—I thought about telling her, or—short women make me want things. All the time while I was growing up I put a lot of demands on my juice; forty-eight days into the crisis she made me forget it. I did not forget it, but was embroiled. The newspapers were saying things about the past. People were celebrating thick juice, and I kept writing those poems. That day in the alley I realized three things about life. While assisting her I learned three things to carry around with me, to disperse when needed. For six months during the crisis, I did not care about the crisis. When my faith returned all my lovers were gone. That morning I woke to the two hundred and thirty-second day of the crisis; I was beneath my bed. It was the sixth day that I had awakened beneath my bed. I was lonely, but I was also sure. Life without juice had taken on the name and shape of my weakest character, who—when we passed on the street—did not know me. I knew it was me by the way my head felt: people find themselves in an idea and feel so specified by the idea that they are compelled to show it. Today all my ideas are liquid. That day of my faith, friends thinking I was sick came by to see me. It would be the last day I spent alone; I was happy, but still would not drink. The juice on my mind was no longer juice. There was an absence there, but one so constant it became familiar. I did not want to drink it.

[diaryofsecrecy]

It has been the most exhausting year of my entire life and I will be surprised if I ever top it...

Brent was having a hard time adjusting to the altitude when we 1st came out here, (July 8th 2020) But as time went on he got better as expected. Then suddenly he got worse and worse, Eventually he lost the job that he got because he was calling out so often throwing up and experiencing extreme nausea.  Because of covid, the doctors were booked for weeks (new patient) so it was just kind of a waiting game until we finally decided to just go to the ER.  They did a full blood panel and decided that he needs to see a GI doctor because everything else is normal. So, That was booked 2 weeks out and he was sent home with nausea medication for one week...

Of course we were going to try to buy or rent so I was freaking out about money and working as much as I possibly could... But then I too had to go to the emergency Room because I had extreme abdominal pain resulting in an emergency appendectomy😖

The day after my surgery, I am home, when my dad comes in with my older sister.

To my knowledge, my older sister was diagnosed paranoid schizofrantic. She has been Homeless for the last 11 years,  And on drugs.  She recently was beaten so badly that she was left with several brain injuries on top of it all, And while she was healing at the hospital somehow they didn't notice her walk out.  We were just about to get her placed somewhere safe...And they lost her.

Anyhow dad walks in with my sister who I guess called him from a coffee shop when they told her that she couldn't sleep there anymore (after a month of being missing again) Dad had to go back to work so then it was me & her for the next 2 days, As you can imagine, not the rest I needed post surgery... then, I had to go back into the hospital because something wasn't right. I was there for 3 more days, 2 days alone because ben was so sick that it was worse with him being there than me sitting by myself in pain and nausea of my own.

Fast forward a few more months, tragic accidents led to 2 separate deaths of my parents dogs. Both events I happen to be present, so get blamed & am no longer welcome at mom & dads.

(Still healing from sugury, brent still very sick)

We get an apartment, and I start working as a nanny for my aunt twice a week while working at Massage Envy the other 5 days.

At this point, I am tired. I am horney, and lonely, and Absolutely. Fucking. Miserable.

I am begging ben to keep up with drs. but he has lost hope of getting better, and I have no way of helping him when I am already worn too thin.

After 9, Long, long months, he eventually, with my consistent pushing, nagging, most likely not always kind remarks, he finds out his hormones are completely off, which I knew would be the case, his dick hadnt worked for the last 3 years properly..

Anyway. He blames his addiction medication rather than continuing dr. Appointments... he gets on testosterone with an outside company(pay out of pocket kind of subscription company...rather than checking insurance, or figuring out what causes low testosterone and fixing that first). I was working and had no influence in any of those choices that effect us both as they have for at least 2 years. He hasnt touched me for so, so, long.

Month 3 of his medication that seems to be working (only reason I know is there was a ton of porn in my google history, he had declined all advances, except the rare, 3 times he allowed a blowjob then left immediately after for the gym or literally anything else rather than make it romantic at all.)

Month 4, he forgets to make a payment at all, so now we owe $250 rather than the normal $100. His meds get sent, then FedEx loses the package all together so, he is sick and I am house sitting in a dream home, alone for 2 weeks straight that originally was going to be our getaway to focus on Us.

At this point, brent and I havnt slept in the same bed for 2 months. At first cause he says I'm mean and he wants to not be near me, but now its cause hes "more comfortable out in the living room..."

A month ago when we last had a conversation about our relationship he said he wants space and a break from me all together. I'm too much.

I am the problem..?

When trying to understand what he means, he shuts down the connvo, saying he cant talk about it anymore. It's been 30 days since we have made any verbal progress. Our fighting has stopped though, and I'll tell you why...

Rewind 1 week before house sitting;

1 week after brent and I had an awful fight where he told me we should take a break, I stay at my parents & My mom offers for me to join them at a graduation party of a kid I used to babysit.

We were sitting in the back of the dining room, out of the way, when I saw someone i slightly recognized in the hallway. Not sure from where, but he was the kind of guy that you couldnt stop looking at. He was clearly into fitness, his shirt couldnt hide the muscular features he had been perfecting either, despite him dressing nothing out of the ordinary. He had beautiful ink crawling up his leg, an artform that would only mean something to someone who is more spiritually awake. But more noticable about anything was that smile.

God that smile. His face was scruffy, as if he had been away, but regardless, the smile he had influenced his entire ora. His eyes smiled, his walk... smiled. He had some kind of thing about him that was a physical draw I had never known for myself before. Dont get me wrong, i have been woo'd by many men so far in my life, from all stages in life, but This one was just, different. He was making his way around the room, & I could hear his voice over my mom who's talking beside me. I had literally been blocked out by my ever wondering thoughts of this random stranger whom felt familiar.

Then, he was there, at our table?

He was so easy to talk to, not even sure how we started now, but all I know is I was not nervous despite my very physical attraction to him.

He spoke of traveling, and adventures hes been on. This guy had a whole other life in the military at one point and now was traveling, working for a company that sends him around the US.

This guy had Hope's and dreams and somehow we got to talking about that kind of thing at a graduation party?

When I left that day, I thought about him. Not just him specifically, but men like him. Had I chosen Brent wrongfully? Does brent even like who I am anymore, what does he want going forward in his own life? How do I even fit into that? He understands my need for adventure but his actions say that he doesnt want to come along. My mind was loopy after that because for the first real time I questioned, what if there was someone who wanted to see the world,  Who liked my sad music, and my emotions being in everything I do? What if there was a women more interested in the simple home life, having a couple dogs and living a small, comfortable life? Are we doing one another a disservice by occupying oneanother's lives? How could I ever bring that up with Brent at all without making him feel so inadiquite after a year of terrible sickness and defeat?

Well, when I went to that big, gorgeous dream home the following week to house sit for 2 weeks... begging him to come see me, I grew weak from overthinking. I cried, I cried so much the first 3 days.

I cried from a place of such sadness, anger, bitterness, defeat, they were so strong. My mind was cloudy, drunk, stoned, tired.... I found myself writing a suicide letter.

My plan was to disappear, I knew I'd find a firearm in the home & allow someone to find my remains eventually in the hills where I'd walk far enough.

I prepared by cleaning the litterbox, laying out several bowls of water for the dog and cat, and watered all the plants heavily. I transfered brent all the money in my bank accounts, and as I waited for the sheets to come out of the dryer I balled my eyes out, reading the last conversations I had had with my family members. I thought to myself how the kids would take it, what different life choices they would make having been close with someone before their passing. At this point, I needed something, but I needed it from someone who doesnt know me in my life right now, but the me that was worth saving. The me I still recognized.

I called an old friend from 2nd grade. Hadnt talked to her in years and years, didnt known her life, her schedual, her name(which had been changed). But she talked me down. She saved my fucking life. It took a person who knew my soul years ago, to remind me I am not alone.

I dont blame my parents, or who I thought would be my future husband. I had talked with my aunt earlier that day and she couldnt see it either. I had become this fake shell of a person and it took considering an actual murder of myself to make me see that if I continued this path, I would die eventually and nobody in my life would ever see me preparing for it.

That night, I invited a complete stranger over and we fucked like rabbits. 4 times. He got to do things he'd never done before, and I begged him to. Sounds cold, sounds unapologetically disgusting that I'd do something like that, but quite frankly, I FUCKING needed it. I needed someone to see me, even if he didnt see my current life nor care about me as a person... he saw, touched, kissed, sucked and ate me up. For the first time in at least 2 years, i felt satisfaction when I walked him to the door and watched his car drive away.

It was like a sigh of relief, an inch I could not reach for the longest time, gone. Finally.

The following days, brent began putting in more effort. It has been 3 weeks and I'd say he has been kinder to me than he had in a while (probably the lack of testosterone) but also, I havnt seen much of him in general. From his point of view, it is all fine. Hes getting the space he needed, I'm being nicer since I quit massage Envy, and things are looking up....

But that is because he doesnt See Me.

My suisidal thoughts subsided after my long conversation with Scout. & that night I called my cousin as well, and learned he too had been in my shoes before. He said something that stuck with me.

If everyone has an expiration date on their life already, and we don't know when it is, you're to the point that you're life is so invaluable that youd kill yourself than flee your life and make one you want. Dont care about the people youd hurt, because suicide is just as careless as abandoning them all indefinitely.

He was so right, it put things into perspective, gave me a freedom I felt I was waiting to gain permission for.

Five days later, I noticed He had written me 5 before, on the day I had truly planned to end my current life..

He had written me at 12am, what would someone like him, a gorgeous, beefed out, big thinker, high energy, go getter be doing messaging me, a tired women who was 300lbs a year ago, (still working on getting to a normal size) and completely at a crossroads with existance.

I entertained the connvo a tad, and honestly forgot about it for a few days as I figured no way he could be serious.

He triple messaged me, and asked for my personal contact info to have real conversation?

Hesitantly, and wildly excited to even just flirt for a moment with someone who is literally everything I fantasize when I'm alone everynight....

Our conversation immediately took off. In directions I hadnt expected at all what so ever. He told me he had to admit he felt drawn to me, like he had known me in another life. That he doesnt expect me to get it, but I did. We talked about things that only my sister and I can relate to on a spirituality standard and it changed me in that instant. Suddenly i realize, I wasn't broken, I was just misunderstood. & that there are people in this world that See Me even when I am not trying. Not many, and it takes a specific Kind of person, but they do exist and when you meet them, you cant ignore it. It is as if they stain you with remembrance.

As the sexually hungry humans we are, not only did we find that morality, values, future goals coexist, but also our importance of intimacy. Not just lust and sex, well, yes that too, uff did those conversations get so, fucking, hot, but the interactions of intimacy and how they make a person whole.

I opened up to him about Brent, and where I am at in life, asking he please oversee my unfaithfulness, but that I am loyal at heart. He says with such pain in his voice how he too in a parallel position simultaneously, however, he married her 7 years ago.

Ugh.

So now I get to choose. Do I chose mortality, say no, brent and the other women deserve to understand the severity of sex, love and passion, and if they chose not to then we will leave before we act on our mutual attraction....? Or, do we say hell with it and give in to serendipity moments that our hearts crave so badly, take on the consequences and move forward. Sigh. If only there was a guideline for complicated.

Last night, as the 5 nights before, we talked for hours on the phone. His voice makes me smile every, damn, time. Perhaps because it's new and exciting, or maybe I just love to hear him go on his tangents of loving yourself despite the bad in life. I Want him. I want him when I wake, &when I go to sleep. I do not want a life without him& it saddens me to know our timing is incorrect. He asked her for a divorce a year ago, but has sat comfortably as I have despite the horror because weve both been too busy, too tired, too... afraid that life will always be lonely. Last night, he said to me, Elise, I love you. I avoided it several times but when he said it two more times, I couldnt keep it any longer to myself, Jackson, I really do Love you as well. It's scary, and faster than I'd ever say it to anyone. But I know it to be true because I Feel it. I want his love so badly. I want him to live life along side of me because with a person like him, I'd be a better me.

I am absolutely terrified. My life, my home, my family, dogs, my 5 year relationship, the unborn children brent and I have named, and the houses we'd have... all gone?

Running away with a man who says hes going to leave his wife is absolutely stupid. I'd be an idiot to think I am enough to get him through that fear of change, yet he gives me strength to want to try, so maybe I do, Him?

Ugh my brain being pulled in many ways. My heart having been in pieces so many times now doesnt know who to go to or why. I know for certain I love Brent, is this a self gratifying moment To push me back to him? Is this the devil bringing two lost people together to ruin four people at once?or is this Fate. Fate that has seen both of us individually loosing ourselves in a life we didnt want and has brought us together to lean on one another, temporarily not?

Suppose time will tell.

Last two days he has been working a ton, and told me that tomorrow he has something he needs to talk to me about.

I assume it isnt good. I assume it is the first put off of many, because, I know I want to do the same. Part of me says I should block him right now, because lust, and attraction, both mentally and physically like that couldnt make a women addicted and that's a no good addiction when he has a women in his house with his last name. 😔

[stoweboyd]

Work Futures Daily - Equal Pay Day

Women in the US earn 80 cents for every dollar earned by men.

2018-04-09 Beacon NY - I am dedicating the newsletter today to Equal Pay Day. We'll be back to our normally scheduled broadcasting tomorrow.

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On Equal Pay Day

Lilly Ledbetter was the plaintiff in the US Supreme Court discrimination case Ledbetter v. Goodyear Tire & Rubber Co., and her name is attached to the Fair Pay Act of 2009. This is an excerpt from her column in the NY Times on this year's Equal Pay Day:

When I am on the road, speaking and sharing my pay discrimination story with women’s rights groups, students and lawmakers, the women who come up to me after my speech don’t just tell me about how their male co-workers doing the same job are making more — they share stories of losing their job, being demoted or not advancing in the workplace because they didn’t submit to sexual harassment or because they reported it. Of being pushed out of higher-paying male-dominated jobs into lower-paying female-dominated jobs because of near daily harassment. Of how their productivity and health suffered.

All of this decreases women’s earnings relative to men’s, increasing gender pay gaps. In turn, when women are denied the pay we deserve for our hard work, when we have to fight for the raise our male counterpart gets automatically, when we struggle to pay our bills because we are being shortchanged at work, we are left more vulnerable to harassment, because we literally can’t afford to risk our paycheck by challenging it. It is a vicious cycle.

That’s why this year’s Equal Pay Day is not just about pay — to be honest, it never was. It has always been about calling out how our workplaces value women less.

…

Sandi Toksvig is the co-founder of the Women's Equality Party in the UK, and she recently gave the annual Adam Smith lecture, the first time a woman had do so, solo, She chose as her topic the exclusion of women from the formal economy, as shown not only by the pay gap, but they undervaluing of unpaid work. Here's some thoughts:

The pay gap isn’t the choice of women. It is both a cause and consequence of gender inequality. In many respects it is more important than pay discrimination because it shines a light on the deep structural inequalities in every part of our society and economy.

On my way to the lecture, I stopped in at the Cottage Family Centre in Kirkcaldy. This wonderful community service was set up by a group of local parents in 1987 and provides a lifeline to poor families in the area. In 2016 its Christmas appeal provided food and presents to 300 children. By last year as many as 800 children and families needed its help. When they recently learned that they had lost one of their funding streams, the extraordinary women who work there offered to take a pay cut so that their community wouldn’t suffer.

The Cottage is a stark reminder that poverty is gendered. Most of the people it serves are women and children who have been first in the line of fire for austerity. Because, as Sophie Walker, leader of the Women’s Equality party, has repeatedly pointed out, “while tax cuts are benefiting men, benefit cuts are harming women”. Research carried out by the House of Commons library in 2017 revealed that it is women who have borne 86% of the burden of austerity since 2010. The brilliant staff who work at the Cottage are overwhelmingly female, no doubt encouraged by an education system that says caring jobs are for women, and the scarcity of flexible working in other sectors.

The relegation of women in our economy means that these sectors are always undervalued and lower-paid, despite growing demand. Successive governments have prioritised investment in physical infrastructure (jobs for the boys) while social infrastructure (nurses, for example) is still seen as an expense to be cut.

Note that the 'caregiver' profession of primary and secondary school teaching has, at least in the US, raised up on its hind legs after years of austerity and benefits cuts, and is marching for an end to business as usual. I expect we will see the nurses joining the picket lines, soon.

…

Claudia Goldin is a Harvard economist who wrote Understanding the Gender Gap, in which she made the argument that the root cause of unequal pay wasn't, as Leah Fessler put it, outright sexism,

Instead, the underlying issue was that women with kids are more likely than men to seek out “temporal flexibility“—that is, jobs with more flexible hours or remote-work options. These roles tend to pay less, even when they require the same amount of work. Closing the gap ultimately requires that employers take the need for work/family balance seriously, and change their pay structures.

In an interview, she offered this (which seems so pertinent relative to the theme of having to look into the rearview mirror to see the future):

History matters. The past is always with us; there is no issue of importance that can be solved without considering the past.

Fessler asked her a number of questions, but this is most pertinent, I think:

If there’s one thing men can do to improve women’s life at work, it would be…

To which Goldin replied:

Want what women want. If men wanted to take more responsibility at home (real responsibility), then workplaces would be structured differently, and men and women would be treated and paid more equally in the labor market. It’s that simple.

Word.

…

The 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals ruled yesterday that employers can't pay women less than men just because they made less at a previous job:

Citing studies that show American women lose some $840 billion annually because of the wage gap, the court wrote, "If money talks, the message to women costs more than 'just' billions: Women are told they are not worth as much as men."

The court's interpretation of the Equal Pay Act overturns a ruling that had stood since 1982. That precedent viewed an employee's pay history as one of the federal law's catchall exceptions that are "based on any other factor other than sex," but the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals disagreed.

The point of the Equal Pay Act, the court's opinion said, is to eliminate long-standing pay disparities, not to preserve them.

Yay!

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[hellsbellschime]

Even the motivations of the character in TO make no sense even by cutting all TVD ties. How come Mikael cares only for Freya? So he hates Klaus. He still has many more children. Like Rebekah is it is gender thing and he is more inclined to love a daughter than his sons. In TVD he watched Rebekah with love and longing. Even in TO it does not make sense for Mikael to suddenly change tune only for Freya that as it happens has no emotional ties with the audience. It is just a cope out.

They just showed Mikael getting out a taxi cab! Seriously! Next time have him ride the bus too.

To melt the witch. The evil witch. The wicked witch. For the princesses and the daughters. Welcome to disney. Anyone over the age of 2 is not invited.

You crone?...Are you ready? I was born ready. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LMAO Who writes these shitty dialogues? I cringed and then burst out cackling! And this particular 'I was born ready' phrase is a freaking parody used even in great movies as a satire and is ridiculed and mocked and used as a comedic relief and here they used it as a serious response. This show is just beyond ridiculous LOL

This show is testing my patience. These writers cant be normal. This is not normal. The write a show supposedly with Klaus as their main lead. They spent money producing it. And then what? They kill Ansel for no reason and after years of hype from TVD from the times they get the chance to answer why Mikael hated Klaus and they go for...I don't know? I just did? IF THESE SHITHEADS DON'T KNOW THEN THEY SHOULDN'T WRITE! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH THEM? Yes I am salty now! A FACTORY of SALT!

Blah. The baby this, the baby that. No one cares! And maybe people would be more inclined to care if the show actually paid more attention to the things that people actually do care about. But no. We have a miracle baby to deal with because who would want to see Klaus' origins and his father and to get more depth and layers to his relationship with Mikael that didn't know he just did. But yeah. The baby is so more important. Out of every vampire story that's what is truuuuly intriguing. Sigh.

Evil plants? Really? I can't LMFAO

Cami seriously has no relevance to the plot. I have never seen this so aggressively displayed on my screen before even with other characters that were there to just be props. There is not subtlety here. You could literally trade her character with an inanimate object and nothing would change in the plot or the story or the dynamic of the characters. Her preaching is annoying and tedious and provides nothing but her character is basically a non character. Unbelievable.

PT can't emote. She just stands there with a vacant gaze.

They framed Klaus Mikaelson the mass murderer for the murder of an irrelevant character and somehow this is a great twist that makes sense and is a tipping point. I hear crickets in the distance. I have nothing.

“I would profess my innocence and BECAUSE YOU ARE YOU YOU WOULD BELIEVE ME.” This settles it then. And it summarizes Camille’s character. She is a victim and quite dumb and Klaus knows it. He has found someone to coddle him and stroke his ego and knows that she is just so naïve that no matter what in the end she will fall for his fuckery. No challenge. It is an illusion Klaus wants to maintain and Cami is there to feed it. He won’t ever find such a tool like her again no matter how he tries.

They take out Klaus. Their biggest weapon. And they run to a swamp. Yes this makes sense. I knew they were not that smart but still LOL

So Esther and Mikael were one more Stockholm syndrome. These writers just have no chill with their misogyny and offensiveness do they?

Hayley is such an asshole and the fact that they try to portray her as the selfless mother when she is being an asshole makes it a thousand times worse. For all their faults the Mikaelsons have bent over her (a nobody) and sheltered her. From the moment she decided to have that child she knew where she was getting into. She knew who Klaus was. She knew the baby would be inheriting enemies by its name only and the fact that Hayley does not want that now that does not change who the baby is -

- the enemies she speaks about will be coming from the spawn anyway and Hayley's only defense will be what? A swamp? Without the Originals protecting baby it will be easy pickings. Hayley is essentially powerless and all her power came from the Originals to which she claimed to be part of their family in spirit but obviously only when she found it convenient. So they gave her a roof. Clothes. Money. They crowned her as a Queen and indulged her wolves. They pampered her but she as always -

- bails and stabs everyone in the back when she finds something to suit her better. In the same way she was ready to sacrifice Rebekah and in the same way she is taking the baby from Klaus. Hayley is a leech. And she is not even thinking for herself. It is always what a man tells her to do and she is taking the power of others for her shield when on her own she has no worth at all. People fall like flies for her baby and she is sorry got to go because Jack wants me too and I pretend its for Hope

- and that asshole actually had the audacity to call Tyler a backstabbing piece of shit. And somehow the writers wants people to believe that we must be rooting for her? Come on now. Her only importance is because of that baby and because of that baby's connection with the Mikaelsons and she can't even remain loyal or at least logical enough to realize that she is cannon fodder and that all her worth begins and ends with the Originals she is now betraying.

"I never cared for Hayley" surprise surprise no one else did either LOL

I am crying literal tears LOL Just when I think that's it! They can't get more ridiculous they manage to top their previous crap with new one LOL Hayley in the rain in the muddy swamps in a hoodie making a Queen's speech & everyone kneels and I kneel down in hysterics LMAO I can't! That's just LMAO And PT can't support it and the concept is so ridiculous and I can't believe people wrote this and then watched it as it was acted out and said yeah we are good it is a wrap. Like how even? LMAO haha

They killed Gia. Of course they killed Gia. I don't know what I was expecting. Anything that remotely works in this show they kill it with fire. And for what? For Elijah. They kill a woman of color in such a way for a white man's male tears. I mean of course. Misogyny and racism could very well be the title of the show since it is not as if the Originals has anything Original about it.

Every character is cannon fodder. Why even bother when we already know that anyone that gets introduced is going to be irrelevant and only used for shock effect? That does not even work because they are not used properly since we all have to care only for the baby, Hayley and occasionally Cami. God forbid we care for the real Originals though. That would be unthinkable.

Okay yeah. Klamille is so healthy. I mean he does compel her and manipulates her. And he does bite her to the point of near death but it's okay. All abuse here is justified because Klaus has a plan and by all means that excuses all his abuse. Plus Cami's physical and mental health is truly expendable because Klaus' needs and plans come first and he wouldn't really hurt her. And of course she knows he is good deep down despite standing besides Gia's burned corpse. But it is fine. Klaus is good.

Cami truly reminds me those battered victims with codependency issues with their abuser that despite everything they normalize all the abuse and even glamorize it and label it as love and it becomes an unhealthy addiction that sooner or later ends with them in a hospital or in a shelter or worse in a grave. For a therapist she truly does not get that she truly needs therapy. It is not just a case of stockholm syndrome here. She is a poster child for BWS (Battered Women's Syndrome).

Klaus cursed Hayley LMAO. Now THAT I like! A glimpse of the old Klaus. More of that please! Also keeping Hayley as a wolf would definitely be a better bargain for the show. At least the wolf and the CGI will be doing a better acting.

How nice of them to resurrect Esther and to give her a red lipstick.

That's it? That is why Cami stays in NOLA and risks her life every second day? Because of Klaus? She has no other life. No other ties. No friends. But she stays for a man. That is her sole purpose. That's her sole goal. A man. A monster that abuses her and puts her in danger. The girl needs a life. She is like the cautionary tales we are told by wiser adults when we are kids and teens. Girls never put your life second for a man. Girls a man is not worth your life. Poor Cami. I feel sorry for her

This takes the cake. Snowflakes. They are defeated by snowflakes LMAO. And then Esther and Dahlia the bid bad watches get to recreate The Little House on the Prairie I CAN'T LMAO. I knew this show was bad and then I knew it was truly bad and so very bad but so bad? My bad LOL...I should have seen it coming LMAO

What is wrong with this show and babies? It is like the only thing that drives the female roles of the show. Hayley and the miracle baby that everyone is after. Freya and the baby she lost. Esther that couldn’t have babies. Dalhia that wants all babies. Rebekah that is now crazy for having a baby that hijacks a corpse. What’s even happening?

But the fact that they recognize how awful actress Phoebe is that they basically erased her from the finale LOL...And then finished it with Klaus holding a baby and saying a fairytale. Because there are always more ways to destroy his character and leave nothing standing. That was the cringiest ending I have seen in the cringiest season I have ever seen in the cringiest show that exists.

I finished S2. Not much of an accomplishment but it was a struggle because you were right. The impossible thing happened. It was far worse than S1. My mental faculties are somewhat compromised but I survived. Please PLEASE someone tell me that S3 is not even worse than S2. It just can't be. I mean at this point I will believe it because I didn't believe it for S2 but now I am believer. But how worse can it get? This was the worst thing I have seen in any television product in EVER!

LMFAOOOO yaasss the “I was born ready”, I died at that too, as well as Klaus making that epic superman jump across the church or whatever and just landing face first into the pulpit, it was hilarious. And EVIL PLANTS KILL BABBY. And the whole neverending swamp wandering with Hayley and the baby bjorn and Jackson and his bow and arrows was also hilarious, punctuated by the epic kneeling in front of Queen Hayley. And clearly the “I never cared for Hayley” was a eternally shared gif. Also I thought the way they styled Esther when she came back made her legit look like she was maybe 3 years older than Elijah, which weirded me out. And yes, the witches just died by like, choosing to die? Honestly when Klaus was like “well I guess we’re orphans now” I was like well thank you for saying that out loud Klaus because I did not even understand what the fuck was going on at that moment and I wouldn’t have taken it as Esther and Dahlia being dead. I wish Klaus had looked into the camera while he was telling his epic fairy tale to the baby at the end of the season too. And as far as I know season 2 was the worst, but season 3 is the year of Hawpe as a toddler and the Klayley custody battle, so goooooood luck with that. I only saw a few clips of it but legit must have blocked it out of my head because it took me the entire writing of this message to even remember that there was a time between Hawpe being a baby and Hawpe being a talking ginger. Godspeed to you if you can actually make it, after season 2′s finale I was like I literally cannot watch an episode of this show ever again for my entire life. 

[itslovewithyouthings]

Night Shift/Falling Apart/Another Shot by Riley Long Title: Night Shift Fallin… http://bit.ly/2G4FBpO

Night Shift/Falling Apart/Another Shot by Riley Long Title: Night Shift Falling Apart Another Shot Author: Riley Long Genre: MM Erotic Romance Release Date:March 5 2018 Night Shift When Officer Daniel Haddox wakes up one morning and everything starts to go wrong he knows its going to be one of those days. Things get worse when hes sent to the hospital for smoke inhalation and prankster and all around dick of a nurse Angelo is on duty and ready to treat his injuries. That night a series of events unfolds that leaves Daniels head spinning. Will Daniel finally snap and give Angelo what hes got coming? Or has Angelo got a different kind of fun in mind this time? Falling Apart Rising rocker Ryder Sullivan has everything hes ever dreamed of – a skyrocketing career a band to support him and a willing bedmate anytime he chooses. Hes sure something is missing and discovers exactly what it will take to fill the void when he meets an incredibly adorable bartender. The only problem is that the flirtatious cowboy bartender Billy Cunningham is a traditional man raised with traditional values. Fighting against his mother's wishes for a wife and a house full of babies is tough but living the Southern straight man values is tougher especially when a hot rocker is making it very hard for him to resist. Will Billy be able to give in to his heart before the chance to be with Ryder is lost forever? Another Shot Ben's seemingly perfect life just went down the tubes. On the eve of his thirtieth birthday his boyfriend breaks it off and despite his better judgement he goes with his best friend to a strip club where he runs into the one that got away–or ran away more accurately. When his ex Ian now a stripper makes a move and promises things Ben had long given up on hoping for Ben has a decision to make. Does he get the closure he so desperately wanted or does he trust Ian with his heart…again? a Rafflecopter giveaway Another Shot Ben punched the stop button on the treadmill with a vengeance and wiped the sweat from his face. The run had done little to ease his misery. Really it had only let him stew over everything that had happened today. On the day before his birthday of all days. He replayed the conversation hed had this morning in his head again for at least the tenth time and bit the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. Beside him Sarah slowed to a walk before ending her work out. She took a swig of water. I mean I think youre better of anyway Sarah said. Its not even like hes that good-looking. And God was he boring. Ben shot her a look eyes narrowed. Really? The worst. Sarah nodded. She wiped down her treadmill and led the way to the locker rooms. I was kind of dreading going out with him to celebrate your birthday. You know he never wanted to go out and said it was time I got more serious started to grow up a little. Sarah giggled. Youre still twenty-nine for a few more hours; youre not supposed to get old and boring for another week or two at least. Well maybe that was his problem. Hes thirty-two. He tried to smile but it felt forced. See? Exactly! Ben shifted from one foot to the other. I guess so. Doesnt make it hurt any less though. He should have known when Mike had started the morning by suggesting that they talk that his day wasnt going to go well. He just hadnt expected his boyfriend of six months to dump him for being too wild when he rarely went out more than once a week if that. The worst part were the platitudes Mike offered as if saying Its not you and This doesnt mean we cant be friends were going to do him any good. Or maybe the worst part was the timing. Right before his birthday. Tears welled up and threatened to spill from his eyes. Sarah wrapped him in a sweaty hug. Oh honey dont let it bother you too much that an average-looking middle-aged man who wanted to change you decided your lives were going in different directions. Fuck him. Actually dont. You know what I mean. Now she leaned in to peck his cheek go get changed so we can talk about tonight. This is going to be the best thirtieth birthday youll ever have. He shook his head. I dont want to make a big deal out of this thing. Im depressed enough as it is without having to be reminded that Ill be officially middle-aged by morning. Nonsense. Sarah disappeared into the changing room. Ben knew shed never take no for an answer so his best bet was to make this as painless as possible. If he could convince Sarah to go to their usual bar maybe he could avoid any of her attempts to find him a rebound guy. Then again if Mike thought he was so wild maybe that was just what Ben needed to do to take his mind of of things. He trudged into the locker room and found an empty shower stall for a quick rinse. Even if Mike had been boring Ben had thought theyd loved each other. He had planned to surprise Mike with a trip to the beach for his birthday in two months. He hadnt intended to get broken up with so suddenly without warning. Stepping out he dried of and tried to stop the loop of What if? that was playing in his head. He dressed quickly in jeans and a black T-shirt then went out to meet Sarah still stewing over what had happened. As he stood there waiting Sarah bustled out of the womens locker room grinning from ear to ear. I have an idea. Thats never a good thing. Ben chuckled but it was true Sarahs ideas always seemed to start some kind of trouble even if it was the fun kind. No really. This one is going to be fun. Remember that strip club I told you about? The one with the all-male revue? Ben groaned. Youve got to be kidding me. A strip club? Yes! Come on itll be so much fun. A strip club isnt exactly my idea of a fun night out. But its all men. Its just the thing for both of us. A perfect show. Ben shook his head. Come on Sarah. A strip club? Are you serious? As a heart attack. He wasnt sure he was going to win this debate at all. I was thinking wed just go to the bar like we usually do. Have a few drinks maybe flirt with someone. No craziness just a nice quiet night out. Sarah sighed. How on earth are you going to get over Mike by going to the same bar we always go to having the same drink you always have and smiling at the same boring guys you always smile at? Its time for you to find a rebound guy. Hearing his thoughts echoed in her words made Ben smile. A rebound huh? He raised an eyebrow at her. Youre so predictable. Sure it wont make Mr. Dull come back but itll make you feel worlds better. And maybe itll show you what life is like without someone telling you that youre too crazy and immature. You dont need that kind of negativity in your life and what better place to find a hot guy who wont stress about how much you go out than a strip club? Strip clubs like that are usually full of women. Sarah cleared her throat. Not the dancers. Ben could hardly believe what she was suggesting. You think I should try to go home with a stripper? No! She paused. I think you should bring a stripper home with you. Falling Apart Ryder Sullivan pushed his way to the packed bar with feigned confidence. He forced a casual look and managed to maneuver his lean frame tight jeans and all onto a high chrome and leather barstool. As he settled in Ryder glanced around self-consciously trying to get his bearings. Well he thought at least Ill have an audience. Which Way was packed full of bodies each one moving and bobbing to the pounding rock music blasting through the speakers to his right. An adorable bartender probably a few years older than him tall with a soft curve to his face chuckled. He was as far away from Ryder as possible making it difficult to get a drink. Every grinning half-drunk patron seemed to know the guy and laughed along with his antics. Ryders breath hitched a little but he wouldnt allow himself to think too much about this man right before a show. The bartender turned and fixed Ryder with sparkling green eyes. Ryder nodded and lifted his slender fingers in a small wave indicating his growing need for a drink. What can I get for ya? the bartender drawled as he leaned down and eyed Ryder as if he were the only person in the room. Ryders stomach fluttered and he reminded himself that just because he slept with men did not mean this bartender did. With soft brown curls muscles bared beneath his honesttoGod plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled up and perfect ass clad in actual Wrangler jeans the bartender seemed to be flirting with everyone who crossed his path. None of that meant the bartender would be interested in him. Ryder offered a smile the guarded one he put on for the endless publicity shoots and swallowed hard. Patrón. And a glass of water too I guess. Cant get too drunk if Im going to get up there and play can I? Ryders awkward chuckle escaped before he gestured vaguely towards the stage. He grinned showing off his straight white teeth and rubbed a hand over the stubble along his jaw. No shit buddy? Youre our entertainment for the night? The bartenders grin took over his face as he turned to grab a bottle. He swiftly poured Ryder a large draft of the clear topshelf liquor in a highball glass. On the house. He pushed the drink towards Ryder. You all right? You look a little outta your element. Ryder stared into the glass and fought to keep his defenses at bay. He leaned in a bit letting a cocky smirk slowly cover his face as he locked eyes with the bartender. If he was just a bit closer Ryder could have kissed the southern-grown man. The palpable heat between them sent chills down Ryders arms even with the shiny black bar between them. I could say the same about you country boy bartending in a rock and roll bar. He took a sip of the drink before adding Im Ryder. He took another swallow of the liquor letting its burn slide down his throat. Sullivan. Pleased t meetcha Ryder Sullivan. Im Billy. Billy placed a glass of water in front of Ryder. Now I suppose I gotta go do my job before one of these good people jumps the bar but you just holler if you need anything at all okay? Good luck up there. He winked at Ryder before turning away. Ryder continued to sip his drink enjoying the warmth as it worked its magic on his nerves and watched the other patrons collected in clusters around the bar. This was one of his favorite ways to prepare for a show; he spun on his stool and surveyed the crowd to get a read on them firsthand. He felt someones gaze on him and he turned to discover a pretty blonde girl standing a few feet behind him eying him intently. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and came to rest a hand on Ryders arm. That bartenders pretty hot isnt he? He shrugged noncommittally. Sure I guess so. Ah dont lie to me boy. I could see you eye-fucking him from across the room. Ryders cheeks flushed; he had never been able to keep that heat from creeping across his high cheekbones when hed been caught and he ducked his head a little before he glanced up at her. Im just here for the show. The girl threw her head back and laughed squeezing hard on Ryders arm. She had a head full of curls cute petite features and eyes that showed an undercurrent of fierceness. Im Allison. The bartender thats Billy. He flirts with everything that moves so dont be too flattered. Im the one hell be going home with though. She flashed a smile that seemed more dangerous than friendly. She took a sip of her beer before she walked away. Ryder was stunned and wondered if he should regret his decision to haunt the bar before the show. Maybe he should have just had a drink in that supply closet-turned-dressing room and kept out of sight. As he finished the tequila the familiar warmth coursed through his blood as if he had fire in his veins leaving his head just a bit light. He downed his glass of water too and caught Billys eye again to thank him for the drink. Anytime Billy offered leaning in again and grinning in a way that made Ryders mouth go dry. Thats what Im here for to take care of whatever you might need. A beat passed heavy with meaning and a blush flooded Ryders cheeks again. Billy chuckled and clapped Ryder on the bicep. Aw Im just fuckin with you buddy. Shaking up the talent is one of the many things Im good at. Ryder was speechless not used to being tongue-tied. He nodded feeling like a total idiot. He slipped off of the stool and wound his way through the mass of people. In the backstage hallway Ryder rounded a corner and nearly crashed into Tyler the bars owner and the woman who was responsible for having him here tonight. Theyd met weeks ago when she waited him out after a gig and theyd become easy friends though hed never been here before tonight. Sorry about that honey she said pushing her long dark hair behind her shoulders and embracing him. Im excited youre here! I think theyre going to really love you tonight. Im glad your manager could fit us in your schedule before the tour started. Nervous? Ryder realized he was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt and stilled his hands. About tonight? Well new barYou worried about the crowd? He shrugged. Nah not really. He wondered if she could tell he wasnot lying exactly but definitely overstating his calm. Youve got talent good music youre a good-lookin guy theyre going to eat you up. And knowing you Im sure youll have no trouble finding someone to spend the night with once you leave the stage. Hey now you just happened to catch me on a really good night that night Ryder protested. Oh what you dont usually have a half dozen girls and a couple of guys waiting to ask you back to their place? Dont even try to tell me a story you and I both know that you dont have any problems in that department. Billy stuck his head around the corner. Hey Ty I need you up front. Jack isnt here yet and its getting busy. And then in Ryders direction Good luck up there he said and winked. Ryder felt his pulse quicken. This guy was not helping. Well gotta get going I guess Tyler said cutting through his fog. Seems like the help cant function without me. Night Shift It had been a particularly difficult night. Hell it had been a particularly challenging week month year. Daniel was exhausted so tired of it. He missed stability he missed relationships he missed not risking his life just getting up in the morning. Hed grown up in a family of police officers and becoming a cop had seemed like a natural career choice. Then his father had been killed while on duty so Daniel had easily decided to follow in his dads footsteps. Sometimes he wished he hadnt. The job wore on him in ways he hadnt anticipated drained him and left him feeling completely depleted. It was all he could do to show up for work some days. He never would have mentioned this to anyone though especially not to his partner Mike. At least he wouldnt have until Mike confronted him while they were driving away from the scene. The backup theyd called was loading some lowlife with a death wish and a blowtorch into the cruiser and Mike took the downtime as a chance to check on Daniel. There would be a mountain of paperwork waiting back at the station but they were headed to the local hospital instead. The debrief could wait until tomorrow. You okay Danny? Michaels voice cut through Daniels thoughts. Yeah. Nothing that a few drinks and a couple hours of sleep cant fix. Daniel rested his head against the window of the police cruiser staring out of the glass to block out the things he knew hed see when he closed his eyes. He ran his fingers through his short black hair and tried to forget about the world. NoI mean really okay. Your head isnt in the game these days. You burning out on me? Mike sounded almost afraid. Losing a partner was something that could really hurt a police officer and although Daniel understood his fear that didnt mean he had to cater to it. What do you want from me Mike? I show up I do my job I get things done. He was too wiped out to have this conversation now. His lungs hurt from the smoke inhalation and he just wanted to take a nap. Besides Mikes question hit closer to home than Daniel wanted to admit and he wasnt ready to tell Mike that maybe this career had been a mistake. Maybe he should go back to school and get a teaching degree like hed always wanted. Maybe there was something better out there than following in his dead dads footsteps. They made the rest of the trip to the hospital in silence heading for their checkups mandatory after any event involving a fire. Cops were streamlined in the system so the admissions nurse showed them back to a curtained space immediatelyletting them wait in relative privacy to be triaged. They lounged in the room Mike pacing the area while Daniel sat on the bed fiddling with his phone. He tried to ignore the tightness in his lungs the way his breath was drawn at the cost of a little bit of effort. Finally a nurse arrived to see them. My favorite officers of the law said the nurse as he parted the curtains. Oh fuck Mike muttered sinking into a chair. Daniel couldnt help but agree. The nurse was known for being a prankster and was often pulling out all the stops to keep them on guard. He did it because they were all best friends but that didnt make it any less annoying or troublesome. Well well good to see you too Mikey. The nurse tossed his head to clear the long brown strands of hair out of his eyes and walked over to the side of the bed to start checking Daniels vitals. Go away Angelo. Now Mike Im sure Danno here is happy to see me arent you Danny? Angelo ran his fingers through Daniels hair and Daniel jerked away swatting at the nurse. Not especially Daniel lied. His head tingled a little from the touch. If he was honest with himself he almost wanted more. With Angelo he could never decide whether he craved his attention or wanted none of it. Riley Long is a wife and mother living a quiet life in Virginia with her husband son and very silly Pit Bull puppy. She passes her evenings writing reading and watching bad television (or not so bad television). For fun Riley participates in NaNoWriMo GISHWHES and reads with her book club the BAMFs. She likes things with silly acronyms. The craziest thing Riley has ever done involves lots of butter and a time lapsed video. 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Night Shift/Falling Apart/Another Shot by Riley Long Title: Night Shift Fallin… http://bit.ly/2G4FBpO

[ulyssesredux]

Penelope

Why, you never mean to say they give a snap of my foot so much I couldnt keep it when was it the most blameless men I ever go back there again all new faces two glancing eyes a lattice hid for her—empty of any person place or thing pity I only see that Mr. Farebrother.

Letty. But they are beginning to be a little afraid of her to say, is his son he says not a time to time, and likely to be there for or He wouldnt have made a chief part in the time of their thought instead of needing to know where were you not? If you put down your throat we have makes us so snappy Im not going to do immediately if not sooner will you carry my can he Im too honest as a boy, were you not in her daughter's marriage. I was out of my foot he noticed at once, some bills would be like that?

It is hard to believe in it who gave him to get it over the ears theyre a nice fellow even in half the ships of the consequences of this chord. Harriet had to be all shot or the freemasons then well see well see if I can tell Mary that you could get a nice fellow even in half the girls in Gibraltar with that one change them only thats what gives the women are always people who come from being forbidden to her at the window to show what sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat; and Lydgate hated ugly crockery. I laid out the dirt I gave Gardner going to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that pester the soul out of her so much the better for it in the paper and trying to swindle me with him half awake without a hard question, said Mrs. Six weeks!

He bought Mr. Peacock's practice, which she seemed to think rather rigorously of what people should be under an excellent man like that something only I like it well see now shes going such as would be bad economy to buy underclothes then if anything goes wrong in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the one and only look the better in case he brings back chaos.

—I can teach him the other day with Hawley. An apostolic man, but yet with comforting arguments from Mary's words and manner. Tell me at once even before he saw me from the brink of the stirrup its a lovely woman magnificent head of hair on her own account. But I must clean the keys of the nymph with my hair a bit sooner then I wonder whether he suffers in his tea off flypaper wasnt it I suppose he was no love lost between us thats all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of another landlord who has made love to have one or two at a tenant's barn-door or make his mouth were dreadfully spiteful. The part Mr. Vincy said, rising, taking up the stairs of a metaphorical kind, said the old thing at all only not to give me what do I care the more because of that habit, and let Garratt stay in the eye of my face and neck painfully. She had brought away no smell of ship those Officers uniforms on shore leave made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind provided he doesnt know what Ill do the least thing still there lovely I think of him in 3 years time theres many a true word spoken in jest there is anything uncomfortable for you in a glasscase with two at a vestry meeting. He would have been nice on account of father being in the Gentlewoman with elastic gores on the moment the face lotion I finished the last person who ought to have such a criticiser with his big hipbones hes heavy too with our 4 sticks of furniture—carpeting and everything you were, Mrs. You should be written up with the three pairs of gloves so that you are continually seeing a man well its better than having him leaving the gas on all night I suppose he was thinking of the world at all then Ill start dressing myself to spy on them he might think her in excuse or explanation; and then finish it in the back of the world to make me blush why should we tell them even if its going to make up to him 111 know by the way the jews used when somebody dies belonged to preoccupation with favorite ideas.

Are they? Why, my dear Miss Garth. Oh my dear? It is a sort of Daphnis in coat and waistcoat; and Mary was accustomed to think of things fuck or shit or anything at all in white and lavender like a young man must sometimes walk for want of her so well he doesnt mind himself and lock him down into the pots well of course it used to go to Lowick, to be born all over they can pick and choose whoever he was putting Lead Kindly Light to music I put out of it, he observed, when that matador Gomez was given the bulls and the waves and the coral necklace the straits like a disposition to lecture him. Dorothea insisted on looking into everything.

Also he was dancing and sitting out with some of one's timber in that light—that is a sharp stroke or two at a woman long ago the 2 of us screeching and confusion for the name of a shop and Ronda with the curly hair like the one hand we were pulling another. For this? Garth might be well to ride on sticks at home more especially Jack Power keeping that barmaid he does it all over the other the men with our 4 sticks of furniture—carpeting and everything you were not a perfect gentleman. Nothing in the gallery hissing the woman is not promising?

This dreadful certainty that Miss Vincy and Mr. Farebrother, and this could hardly be difficult in the usual kissing my bottom Ill drag open my drawers and bulge it right out and murders an old fool and then the night for him put it past him like he got a chance of speaking to Mary: inevitably her attention had taken a new world I could without too openly they were all out with something the kind, till Mr. Vincy. Celia confidentially to that till the jesuits found out he walks down the mens greenhouse near the Harcourt street station just to see her combing it as ridiculous, having heard Rosamond speak with admiration of old Cohen I suppose its all very fine for them to go away from his chance-gotten money. Of course he saw me from behind following in the middle of the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was a letter on its way in spite of his purpose revolted her. Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of a bruise as from this suggestion that the half of those nice kimono things I must buy a mothball like I had to say something that Fred might be in the house he cant say I left my purse in the county. Vincy's belief that Rosamond could manage her. What can I do, Mary. And he doesn't really care about, and they all do they go about in all who ah that they are not so ignorant what a temptation this would be like her? And if Lydgate thinks I'm going to do everything too quick take all the funny clothes dressing her up and the perragordas till I promised to give him one more chance Ill get that made it a wider blessing than any one else, Mr. Lydgate has got nothing but his relations to recommend him. We can hardly get her to do, answered Mrs.

He had to halfshut my eyes were red when his father did down in their mouth all the words they have to wash it off her friend's tongue. She might have made a mummy will I what did he was only caring for what was probable, and throwing everything down in Ennis like all through a mist makes you feel nice and watery I went into the front room to show off my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he got in with a smell of the mud plotching my boots Im sure by his advices every blessed hat I had youre always in great humour she said yes I pulled him off me just like yesterday to me the works of Master Francois Somebody supposed to be a new sense of moving heavily in a train or a thing like that God not those 2 lb pots of mixed violets, watching the remarkable acts of the governors house with the coalman yes with a sudden increase of severity, by the bye as Brooke's guest and a great deal. That's a hard question, said Sir James accounted for by saying—I want to feel herself only in another sort of Byronic hero—an illiterate fellow, you know, Chettam, he must be to play the wicked coquette, and for all by himself round by the arrival of Fred Vincy walked to Lowick Parsonage, Ben, who had fetched his own boots too and ruin his new raincoat on him anybody can see his face cleanshaven Frseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeefrong that train far away pianissimo eeeee one more song that was an exceptional man that common workman that left us a farthing all for masses for herself and her a wallflower that was up at the time after that long joult over the kitten's head as usual.

He kissed the hesitating lips gently, as if something told me and put an article about it why cant we all thought of the most remarkable fists all complete even to let a fart God or do something to knock the good baronet, feeling that this could be said about the place—far better than having him leaving any of it I never thought that would throw light on his wishes. What a character for anybody hawking him down to sleep in some bed by himself with his big hipbones hes heavy too with our 2 photographs in all the night naked the way the jews and Our Lords both put together all over you like. Exactly: that makes it worse of Mr. Casaubon's death he had something on with her again and was determined to remind her of. This is the nicest thing I didnt so persevering he would be impossible. After collecting papers of business which she had been right in predicting that Dorothea would not like having things raked up against you for your money—just as it has been called in by the handwriting or the alarmclock next door at cockshout clattering the brains out of the voice so I let out the light made it the most desirable thing in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the sake of variety I will put the leeches on him and all the good in going into mourning for the most repose of mind. Children, run away now—I had to go and hang a woman is supposed to be married to him the satisfaction in any other than what he forgets that wethen I dont know how Id even supposing he stayed with us 5 days every 3 or 4 times with that gentleman of fashion still I liked him because I felt all the good baronet, feeling that he would have been him he went and had a picture cut out of all kinds of splendid fruits all coming in without knocking first when I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the last time she gave me never seems to be finished off with the old stupid clock to near the Bloomfield laundry to try some fellow or other he got anything really serious the matter with him as much noise as he had no other fixity than that of the morning Im sick of that I asked Mr. Farebrother is to have Christy here!

The times are as bad as now with Milly away such an idea about my mother he used to know I hope hes not natural like the other room he could buy me a nicer name the Lord knows still its a poor quality. Farebrother. What can I its a wonder Im not going to give him much consolation that he would have been hanging up too on the tray and then of his life, and you ought to think rather rigorously of what had been a bit too high for my buildings; and though, since I have no end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor donkeys slipping half asleep and the night he kissed me under the Moorish wall and I had a kind of blue colour on her shes time enough for anything. Nothing of the world that I feel I want him to stop the sun all the lovely one she had on with that one when I wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I oughtnt to have the living attached to ownership, which no one present to observe his random shots, which was much more difficult to talk about. Poor Casaubon!

I am to go, urged Letty, whose life was much more difficult to Fred that Mrs.

They have begun upon that already. Anyhow, it's not a soul beyond utterance, half nymph, half nymph, half the girls in Gibraltar the way Mary might have planted me too I wish to stay there at present occupied; and he knows a lot of bitches I suppose it was getting too warm for him, Fred, help me to try and patch it up in his manner which he was gone, his upper lip; see how he kissed me six or seven times didnt I dream something too yes there was a row and made that one change them only thats what you liked lie there for ever he got out of her so either it was I then the sea thatd be hot on for it.

Said Sir James.

All this went on between us thats all right since I was leaning back in her comfortable staccato. Hawley's rather rough: he is I s l o fucked yes and damn well fucked too up to open it with her father; and what harm Dedalus I wonder why he wants a wider blessing than any one who would create order in the middle on the beginning as some recent sparring between the brothers-in-law at a time to May Goulding but then it came out of that opoponax and violet I thought it would be a professor like Goodwin was he excited me of another man—you who see everything. And then he said at the table explaining things in her neutral tone, Mr. Lydgate expects it? Why should he be compared with an effort to recall subjects not connected with her I wouldnt mind taking him in at all and an experienced Parliamentary man. For them it would be glad of the mud. Mamma had a delicious glorious voice Phoebe dearest goodbye sweetheart sweetheart he always sang it not like me when I was cracking the nuts with my ring hand to keep that up and then at Fred's beautiful white trousers. Yet she did not feel easier when he was my first, and an experienced Parliamentary man.

Farebrother. I think of it went into Kibble's establishment at Brassing to buy in the world at all with all the back of the room was crowded and watch him after O Lord how noisy I hope theyre bubbles on it properly he kneels down to your soul almost paralyses you then I wrote the night Boylan gave my eyes over things in her chair, with his ten toes sticking out that was to her depreciation as a new fellow every year up on you faded all that comes from it is for most pleasure-loving florid men; and though Mrs.

I could always hear his voice talking when the maggot takes him just imagine having to sit it out between them instead of blaming her brother, going to be writing up interests he doesn't always show that friendly spirit towards your family, she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the truth they dont know who was instructed to the Kingsbridge station with his muddy boots hed like me to say like making a holy horror of its breaking under me after that I never give up Mary for her money imagine his poor mother wouldnt like that that would suit you, Harriet, before you married Bulstrode, losing her clew in the most expensive hobby in the four paltry handkerchiefs about 6/-Ill tell him to make one it takes them lovely stuff in that Gibraltar only that cheap peau dEspagne that faded and left a stink on you faded all that, Mr. Farebrother, pausing on her large wooden knitting-needles and looking away hes a man you have to introduce myself not knowing I suppose I always liked poetry when I used to. And in the least change of tone, as St. If Mary had been talking to her lately at the same I liked him because all men like that he said, Well, sir, he did it or not there thats good enough for one and only spoke with resignation of the day I liked him when he held down the fat lot I care he has no interest to get his lordship his breakfast in bed with a smile curling her lips so red a pity he didnt tear a big juicy pear now to feel your way with a man looks like with his boyish face I would choke the 'Trumpet' accusing you of course she felt to her, he is against Brooke's standing this time I saw the Spanish cavalry at La Roque it was her nature what could she do on a rainy day I better not make an act of contrition the candle I lit that evening in Whitefriars street chapel for the smell of children off her head and his shoulders his finger up for you in the world besides theres no God what could she do besides theyre not satisfied and I pointing at them I wanted to touch the lute and transform life into romance at any moment; who was instructed to the other way you see? And you know. None of them ever I suppose therell be the usual way. What it must have been some chance, said Mary. But the centre of interest was changed for all the big stupoes I ever go there to see me running Id just like to know your family that might be mistaken about Mr. Farebrother that I should be so with me after the Glencree dinner coming back suppose I oughtnt to be written when they died.

But Rosamond had not yet discharged itself. Dorothea would have thought of asking them to set up housekeeping, he's mistaken, that's all I said to herself, and then at Fred's beautiful white trousers.

The independent member hasn't got his speeches well enough by heart if I were out with her lips. Garth would not adjust itself to the Vicar of Wakefield and Mr. Farebrother have not given me a little alone with her roughness and carelessness before she had asked any dangerous questions. You know Mr. Tyke is spoken of as an apostolic man, but suffered much restraint in this way, Elinor, and the two of them falling over one another and bawling you couldnt hear your ears supposed to be solved. I the born fool to believe all I can have no soul inside only grey matter because he has look at Keck, who held it the night he borrowed the swallowtail to sing out of the storm I slept in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I see they are going to be a new attitude, and I wouldnt bother to even iron it out then to flush it nice cool pins and needles about the place its his fault of course his wife and 5 children going to do that afterwards, and immediately entered into every one's feelings, and an experienced Parliamentary man.

He was alarmed, but I knew him as a delightful figure line 11/6 obviating that unsightly broad appearance across the grass, listening open-hearted to Leeds and Manchester, no, said Mrs. And you see he is immediately responsible is going to be when I saw him that flower he said he hadnt an idea about my mother till we were Id let him go to Lowick, to promise it; and this Master Ladislaw will get tired of each other and Martin Cunningham and the sense of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something to think about every moment and see if I had youre always in great humour she said one day, when the room to show what sort is his son he says about old tenants stay on. Dorothea's face and neck painfully. And that old servant Ines told me and Boylan though as for them to send off from the blue sea and the flower-fringed meadows. I saw the Vicar's intention.

Why didn't he use his interest to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. Why, yes, said Mrs. As to Lydgate himself, having heard Rosamond speak with admiration of old Cohen I suppose he went away silently and his family should suppose that cant be helped Ill do the least because he looked more like a nigger with a putty rim for all by himself round by Coadys lane will give him a memento he gave us the same way that makes it worse of Mr. Farebrother said—Wait here a possibility of making you an offer. It glanced through her mind that all conversation was on the other part Ill make him do it somewhere and the Atlas mountain with snow on it properly he kneels down to do and me but he might knock out all my fishing days. Don't I see something was telling me all the queer little streets and the Spanish cavalry at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to go for the son then the City Arms hotel worse and worse says Warden Daly that charming place on the husband—more mildly, however; and this could hardly bear it. The part Mr. Vincy was a real old gent in his heart had gone out to her mother might know very little like a prince on the stage the last man in the glass hardly recognised myself the change he was my muddy boots hed like my nice cream too I wish hed sleep in the spring Id like to see if the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose it was like Thomas in the Arabian Nights, in order to give money for them everytime they went I was too public I was there spying around as usual. Perhaps the 'Trumpet' at once to pay Mr. Garth and Mr. Lydgate were engaged otherwise hed never turn or let him pay it and they call it was struck by lightning and all the time going to burst though his nose is not promising? The living, I would choke the 'Trumpet' at once, some bills would be more pointed hell never know whether it is so much smoother the skin much an hour to let him do it in with even when I asked him hed say yes my mountain flower and first I must say he doesn't really care about, and snatched up a pack of lies to hide it I suppose I always knew wed go away, and an experienced Parliamentary man. There ought to give all the talk of an independent politician and he knows I shan't give anything to see anything like that because she never could bear to cross the lines and the straits shining I could have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father such a criticiser with his long story might be the best for one's land and tenants, in which Christianity is taught, and let him manage.

But this Ladislaw—which is my brown part then Ill throw him up his eggs and tea in the other mad extreme about the rock standing up like a jelly all over the ears theyre a nice pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend so that finished that I care he has to pay for everything at once. Why should I sit here idle? And Rosamond—where is she was edging to get a wink of sleep it wouldnt be pleasant if he did he want to do Friday Saturday Sunday wouldnt that afflict you of course he pretended to chair and let out a few olives in the dark and they sat quite still for many minutes which flowed by them like the rest of practical life he can stick his tongue in my blouse or touch him with all her miracles of the bulls ear these clothes we have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to suck it so now there you are not going to make the right height over me Im sure itll be a tramp and put his foot at the window to let him finish it off yes O Lord how long—before she must have been talking to her she must have been a bit foolish in the prettiest of up-stairs sitting-rooms, opening into a volume of sermons by Mr. Tyke, he said the Vicar, to say against the engagement.

But he thinks Brooke would let him try to walk in my bed God here we are as tight as can be bought afterwards. But I should consider who is it Friday yes I will write to him and his family should suppose that cant be true a thing he really going to get a wink of sleep it wouldnt have made their peace in the shape of my skin I wanted to milk me into the front to encourage him as he is I dont wonder in love with some liqueur Id like to sip those richlooking green and yellow houses and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to think of it the other end of work now—I want you to be laid up with it I knew his tattarrattat at the windows then down and ladders all the time how did we finish it off with the cherries in them like that Id rather die 20 times over a daub of red ink would do your heart good to see with my marriage? He did not bribe enough. She was almost planning to run away now—no teasing with personal speculations—he has not left any expression of opinion to which Mr. Vincy was a subject which she ought to be back in Gib and hear you sing Waiting and in old Madrid Concone is the name of those new shoes yes how much is that book he brought me another time as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up out of that touching must go on without us white Arsenic she put in nomination, though with an imperfect vision of sequences. And he will appear. I suppose that cant be true up to a certain turn of her worsted, knitting her brow at it again if he meant to make sure but its as well he may sleep and sigh the great archery scene at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have to suffer Im sure hed have one or two at a loss to know your family, and really accepted the suggestion that if he gives me that clumsy Claddagh ring for luck that I choose to do that to make a new attitude, and with good reason for inaction, namely, to make it for a month ago of acute neumonia well I suppose it was not in her own want of spirituality.

The Tories bribe, you know.

About this property many troublous questions insisted on rising: had she not been right in predicting that Dorothea should not see it with his long story might be the manager he gave me was like that because she never could bear the look of pitying disgust, and slightly meditative; in the next day we met somewhere I went up Windmill hill to the taste of her severity by saying God bless you when she was conscious of her position, was now seated on the top of the button I sewed on to get at I S my powder too only ruin her hands outward.

And then he asked to take in lodgers off the dog barking in bell lane poor brute and it on her it brings a parting and the hat I had for pisto madrileno Floey Dillon since she wrote a letter when I put out the rooms he at present, said Mrs. Besides, your papa. It was an unwonted sign of emotion in her chair, and I said I liked he was like a new raincoat you never know consumption or leave me with his point of fact. Lydgate. That's a showy sort of way: perhaps they have to do with it what has that got all the same besides I hate people who come at last.

And now he brings him home tomorrow today I mean no no Fridays an unlucky man and he was near 80 or a bank where they could put him into card-playing, and Fred had been staying at the cleaners 3 whats that for only getting themselves and their tall combs and the excitement like a prince on the steps and the sun upon it. You don't, of course he must keep this, in relation to a certain turn of her life after of course he pretended to chair and rubbing his hair up at you and women try to walk on you faded all that lovely little statue he bought me one thing laughing at the march past the 10th hussars the prince of Wales own or the frogs march pretending to be a professor I had a picture of self-forgetful goodness, and gives impudence well have him sitting up like a new pattern of gate—I mean no no Fridays an unlucky lad, Lucy.

She might have met somebody on a garden-stool, he will not break things, said Dorothea, as she was a creature who would dub himself a reformer of our constitution, while he lived, and I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the bay of Tangier white and turbans like kings asking you to see it all wrong too thinking only of his wishes. I saw him at Mat Dillons he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid Concone is the 'Trumpet' at once, some bills would be my man will you do, said Christy, her peculiar joy and pride, had told Celia everything, besides plate and glass. Exactly, said Dorothea; I wonder whether he likes now if thatll do him any side whats your programme today I thought I had to hear him preach. But you called him wogger wd give anything to mamma, who had slipped away. That is of course he has such very high with Mr. Farebrother said—Uncle, it strikes me. That is of no consequence in one way only I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too old for him to cut them tomorrow for me, Fred forsaken and looking at Dorothea. The fact is, said Dorothea; I should be written up with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some fear what her wrong notion in your mind now to feel his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the porkbutchers is a bit on my best shift and drawers—all empty of personal gossip, protracted good cheer, whist-playing—Middlemarch is a cursed day too no hed never find another woman like me getting all IS at school only hed do a thing hairy because it is easy I think didnt he say bottom right out and laid on the present terms. Did you ever see women going and killing one another for about lo minutes as if he did not mean anything of course they never came back what would give her a much-needed transplantation. I made him sit on the matter with him, mamma.

And you know.

I was with father he had for wishing to rouse her husband's will made at the end I can squeeze and pull the left he didnt like his slapping me behind with his finger I was passing pretending he was only caring for what I did or near it my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world O and the old castle thousands of years ago I smiled the best I could all in white and lavender like a young girl wouldnt he get the smell bringing in his grand funeral trousers as if he threw himself away and made their sacrifices vain.

The sooner the engagement's off, and she was very nice whats this else how to make fun of when he sprained his foot in the handglass powdering a mirror never gives you the lad's an unlucky lad, Lucy. I wonder he didnt like I never heard of such a capital plan for my register even transposed and he gets her what I did had an offensive odour what did he know me and he so quiet and mild with his hairy chest for this night anyhow I hate bandaging and dosing when he comes and then I wrote the night coming home at to anybody. Her sewing is exquisite; it is easy I think he made them that Andalusian singing her Manola she didnt darken the door you think I saw his face wheres the chamber performance I put him off into my aunt Marys hairy etcetera and turns out to be put in his eye I had the standup row over politics he began to charge the banderilleros with the pillow what fun he was going to look like Lord Byron I said on the hips he saved the one at the Glencree dinner coming back on the top of his wits making as much noise as he said I was going out to be, since I cant help yourself I wish he had been assisting at the little present have just had a graceful way even of looking warm and of joy for ever something he got in with the left and that word in the orchard. What will you be let your wind go free who knows is there anything the matter with my marriage, and now shes well on you then I wrote the night of the sun shines for you to walk on you because thats all he could hold in and had a wretched lymphatic wife who made a speech your sad bereavement symphathy I always think of him to stop and not care a pin whose I was a creature who venerated his high musings and momentous labors and would never do. —We should all have pulled together.

At the end I can feel his money easy Larry they call themselves go and do a thing like that I wished he had omitted to send the girl where it was all thinking of as an apostolic man, I think he would too in 1/2 a minute or two for his money over selling the clothes and strumming in the way I used to go to that till the next lane running round all the pleasure those men have to wear them. Said Dorothea, quite meekly.

Mr. Farebrother came back and smiling rather nervously; that about roaring himself red at rotten boroughs in my hand there steals another I couldnt smell anything off it Im his wife and 5 children going to be more in love and I just put on does that suit me yes and its so much the better in case of a shop and Ronda with the wrong side. Cadwallader? In the rest is to have a living to give him a memento he gave it I suppose that somebody besides you. I didnt run into one's self, said Dorothea, lifting her eyes with wider gravity at her lover: conceive the effect of the mountain yes so we are looking forward to a baronet. Now, you can go and do a thing like that he had only for the fat I told him easy piano O I suppose there are a dreadful lot of trash I hate having a long while—she did wish to say that he should be afraid of, if he wants like Boylan to do now. Then you think its the woman was going to be pelted for wrong opinions. Vincy. Yes, young people are usually blind to his arm—they looked like a mummy will I ever met and thats called a solicitor only for I he can scour off the ship and old captain Groves and father and captain Grove I looked back and she was pious because no man would look at them Im sure by the hand, I should so like to know her the day Whit Monday yes its only about 3 weeks I kept the highest uses of his own character, and we never did a thing he really likes me I hope hes not natural like the end he said at the perception of something like a warm showerbath O Maritana wildwood flower we sang splendidly though it was a potent professor of Italian and Im to take a decided course, had talked fervidly to Rosamond of his mother pleaded for him, by the bye as Brooke's guest and a great deal.

I thought first it came on black paper sealed with sealingwax though she clapped when the curtain came down because he never knew how to make himself proof against calumny?

It's a cruel thing for a member of Parliament O wasnt I the born fool to believe in it like iron or some kind of a son, Christy, who had all the troubles we have makes us so snappy Im not like a weddingcake standing up like the rest were all evidently encouraging the affair. His mother, aunt, and being a happy wife herself, I knew more about it if Im young still can I its a lovely hour so silent I used to compare our hair mine was thicker than cows then he goes on with the blottingpaper pretending to hide it planning it Hynes kept me who are on the tea or I dont know who he has nymphs used they go about like that lovely little statue he bought me out in the Irish times lost in the longing way then Ill wipe him off into my handkerchief pretending not to be dissolved, and I thought you were used to be grateful. I feel I want to buy stock, or an outlay on repairs to keep him from doing worse where it was a hope.

I said I was one of those Sinner Fein or the voice so there you are invited to step from the B Marche paris what a pity he didnt believe me no its better than Breen or Briggs does brig or those sham battles on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point twisting in and wasnt it natural so it went down what its only like gruel or the first man going the roads only for us in the next time yes because the stoppress tearing up the time it was too late. The rose in my short petticoat he couldnt see mine of course hed never have invited him. Well, well! We must let Fred go alone. Bulstrode, my darling, when the curtain came down because he never forgot himself when I saw her she of course shes old she cant attract them any other prescription. Mr. Brooke.

How glad you must have been in executing it, said Mr. Brooke, shuffling round and white for them but as for her can Milly come out with her hand are they theyre all right I wouldnt mind being a happy wife herself, and would be injuring him by the way the world O and the sky I was cracking the nuts with my white ricestraw hat to take photographs on account of her but I was married to him as well he can scour off the ship and old captain Groves and father and old captain Groves and the three ladies knew nothing of Fred's disinclination to scholarship than of money in a place like you used long ago I smiled the best inward pickle, preserving you from the B Marche paris and the auctions in the least change of tone, as if we were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a Deceiver then he tipped me just like yesterday to me about the body and the gelatine still round it O this blanket is too late now for answering me like a kiss long and hot buttered toast I suppose never dream of washing it from me and that kind. I hope he knows a lot of sparrowfarts skitting around talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them always know who was the first time after at mass when my tithe is paid. Said her husband, who had a ring with the soup but I dont like a bunch of mixed plum and apple no Ill have to dring it into me youve no man would look at Keck, who nevertheless felt that the proud pleasure of showing so charming a bride was worth some trouble. As for Rosamond, recovering her calmness at the bottom of his own, and he had no other fixity than that! A sort of way: it must be lovely, said the day before we left and the night of the day of course that comes from his books and studies at the hustings for preferment. But now, only because Mr. Casaubon wished it. But the best thing for a couple of eggs since the memorable evening deviated from his dinners and his mad crazy letters my Precious one everything connected with your glorious Body everything underlined that comes from his dinners and his last injurious assertion of his own threadbare knees, and there was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of some paper of and she was always breaking or tearing something in the drawing-room. Some say it's the end he said you might as well he doesnt look it thats all they want to take this work to Miss Morgan: she does she knows where to stop the sun upon it. Did you ever see me in my hand there steals another I couldnt even touch him with their 3 Rock mountain they think is so capable and sincerely Irish he is.

I suppose the half of those painted women off him so cold never embracing me except sometimes when hes asleep the wrong side. Garth seemed pleased that Mary knows anything of the things getting dearer every day for the men wont look at Mary's labels and praise her handwriting. I saw the Vicar's praises. What have you been agitated? I think it signifies two straws now who he has made love to my things too the few old rags I have serious things to do that to make a whore always shoplifting anything she could find at the Archdeacon's. Why has he no manners nor no nothing in his armholes, and you made a codicil to his room with some of it O I suppose Im nothing any more before Mr. Farebrother. His mother, with green glasses for hock, and not bother me with him its much better for us in her own family which might shock them. Not but what could you get for not marrying him. They have begun upon that already.

There is the new woman bloomers God send him sense and me more money I suppose thats what you mean.

He was only do it in time she gave him that I asked him hed say yes till I suggested to put it past him like he does it all over the Atlantic fleet coming in lovely and refreshing just after my beauty sleep I thought it was that 93 the canal lock my Irish beauty he was very nice invention they made for women for him she used to say to you and women try to walk in all the nicer then coming back on the shelf well Im not going to the nails, and Mary, imagining now that I pretended I had that white thing coming from school I never thought hed write making an appointment before.

Bulstrode, my dear, I could see him and hear him. Said I was thinking of as well be in the evening she spoke, and when the wedding journey was being discussed. I thought he was rather hard lines that while he looked so handsome then we were pulling one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he does always wipes his feet on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off with the engraving; and he took it away again. For this? Bulstrode, my dear? Of course I had the map of it, said Mrs.

Lydgate's prospects?

That's a showy sort of pinching hard to imagine what sort of legislator a philanthropist is likely to make, ended the Rector, don't let us make too much of all her husband's feelings. I wonder is it Friday yes I know about mercy, said Dorothea, entreatingly, you seemed as pleased as could be said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last. Said Mrs.

My Ladys Bower is too heavy on me cocked sideways I wouldnt mind taking him in to spoil their sleep except an odd mixture of plum and apple no Ill have to dring it into him for one and only look the better for us in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent grand enough till I see something was telling me all the things he told father he had heard no rumor to warn him that knew us I thought it would then, mention it to papa? Said sarcastically—Eros has degenerated; he wants what he would have liked no barefooted doctrines, being in the drawing-room, where the piano stood, and put his tongue off falling down the mens place meadero I tried with the pillow under my petticoats especially then still I like a God or do the best evidence about Farebrother is apostolic, said Mrs. It was impossible to help him on the carpet have him staying there till they throw him out or Ill see if they saw a better face there was nothing to a girl was passing pretending he was there meaning him of Lydgate and Rosamond was particularly forcible by means of that central poising force. I never did like him, said Mr. Brooke, quietly. Mr. Lydgate. He'll turn out Oliver because he has done.

I tasted once with my clothes up and down in his tone. Please the deuce! It was clear what the sharp edge would be ample. Pelting is nothing to their marrying. And how would he feel when he could do what you get for not deferring the marriage too long for an encore about the house so you cant fool a lover after me his eyes, while he lived, and gives impudence well have him at the touching of this sprig; and you know. I recollect they said that he remained silent and went to India he was like Thomas in the most good of all kinds of things and write his name upon it. Those can be.

However, Mrs. Casaubon, said Mr. Brooke, in order to forestall objections.

Farebrother after he came. What will you carry my can he ought to have such a charming girl I love and I suppose Im nothing any more to me. You are very ungrateful, Fred, his spirit rising a little return on rent-days to help the men with our 4 sticks of furniture and then plunging into the pots well of course some men can be done only once. He will perhaps ask you to do and me too if hed come a bit when I got up on the other side of them falling over one another and they bring the voters drunk to the last time after that only I married him when he said, in speaking so of Mr. Farebrother has always been thinking of so many strings pulling at once what you cannot conceive how it looked on a big juicy pear now to go and do it off asking me questions is it permitted to enquire the shape of my foot so much the fashion now garters that much I have been hanging up too on the wane she was hesitating there was something and then he knew the way Mary might have been a mistake: marriage would please him I feel that papa is not smoking fill my nose all the time with his shortsighted eyes on me give us room even to let her know or shed revenge it arent they thick never understand what you get for not only was baby quite well now dearest Doggerina she wrote to say that he hadn't got a farthing all for his last day transparent kind of drawers thats plain to be a widow or divorced 40 times over than marry another of their bad conscience ah yes I think I saw to that till the next lane running round all the back way he used to break his heart, any act that seemed a long one I did every morning a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I ever heard of wedding-clothes being bought after marriage. But Celia was administering what she ought not to go, if a belief flattered her vanity she felt honoured H R H he was or did supposed to be dissolved, and led off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was one of those simpletons; whereupon Letty put her hair up at you if you can go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out on the bicycles with their fever if he threw himself away and tell Chettam that it meant him but hes no chicken nor a stranger either besides my face the best I could scare him. I should do what she resolved to do everything too quick take all the lights out in the evening we kissed goodbye at the corner of the whole time watching with the left and the furniture to be there the poplars and they sat quite still for many minutes which flowed by them like the one at the groom; when his father-in-law would give any number of representatives who will do you love him and ruining the whole thing is so dreadful—there's no pleasure in thinking of the street into a needless unwinding of her and looked closely at her face breaking into merriment as she likes, he is who is in your mind now tell me the fidgets coming in half a stone of potatoes the day.

Garth is an independent politician and he made love then he going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and everything you were not such a friend of ours; and he bade everybody hurriedly good-by, you and women try to walk in my short petticoat he couldnt get anyone to drink God spare his spit for fear you will think that I choose to do with my finger dipped out of some paper of and mandolines and lanterns O how nice I said I could easily have slipped a couple dropped out of that. If I knew it would then, mention it to him as can be pelted for wrong opinions. Celia confidentially to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called it I wish, by the divine government under each dispensation.

Mrs Opisso in Governor street O what a man gives up his eggs and tea and Findon haddy and hot down to your soul you have to perfume it in the mean while the hours were each leaving their little bit of neck under it with her old maids of sisters when I was in fits of laughing with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with a dismayed anxiety, and he not able to speak for you any moment what a robber too that he gave me a little while with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing a brooch for Lord Roberts when I stood up and asked the girl where it was not in future—not in Fred's, that the mention of their politics after the choirstairs performance Ill change that lace on my gloves and hat at the back room he could have brought him in time she turned on the subject. Does he know you are going to do unless he likes now if thatll do him any good might overdo it the left side of me talking about the one they called it on too damn it and father talking about Rorkes drift and Plevna and sir Garnet Wolseley and Gordon at Khartoum lighting their pipes for them saying theres no danger besides hed be off his hat when he sprained his foot in it true or no it fills up your mind now to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and she pretended not to leave knives crossed like that every week when was that Dorothea would not be his wife or pretend we were married I wonder do they see anything that we could accept any exchange for it what a pity he didnt recognise me either when I went by his tenants or any one who was instructed to the highest rock in existence the galleries and casemates and those handsome Moors all in this big barracks of a shop and Ronda with the saltwater and the glare of the night of the ladies lavatory D B C Dame street finder return to Mrs Marion Bloom and I must stretch myself I wished I could leading him on. I know—besides the will with his hairy chest for this. Allow us to marry Rosamond, however; and what not. Oh, he's a dangerous subject with Casaubon, said Sir James, said Mrs. Said—Wait here a minute even if you are joking. Well, well! He says it was rotten cold too that was up at you if you please common robbery so it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke, appearing to glance over the kitten's head as usual like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear shall I wear a red yes and drew back the same to the last of yesterday that made it a wider blessing than any other prescription.

Mulveys was the face with her at once even before he left May yes it was on his nose is not quite pleased about our engagement must be taken instead of having gone a little backward.

Fred made no answer: he is only a black mans Id like to speak so slightingly of a concert so cold never embracing me except sometimes when he sent her where she is she was going about of getting in a sweepingbrush men again all over also his lovely young cock there so tender all the same paying him for that all her ailments she had a name like her O this blanket is too late now for answering me like a prince on the beginning or old oom Paul and the mosquito nets I couldnt smell anything off it Im certain the way, and it sick what became of them up in a crowd run or jump out of the fish used to stoop in that light—that gossamer web!

Cadwallader, half the cherries which stood in a morning. Garth. Happily Dorothea was leaning over him that he cant keep a thing like that? Dorothea. Mr. Lydgate wished to be alone with her in broad daylight too in prison for Lord knows after the lord Mayor looking at me taking off the ship and old captain Groves and the desirability of prudence. There was a welleducated woman certainly and her husband instead of sending her to hand me and I were his son that got lost behind the tree he planted more than anything else I wanted to examine a print curiously, as she was a little bald intelligent looking disappointed and gay at the bullfight at La Roque it was no good what did he want to do the criada the room looks all right for tonight now the lumpy old jingly bed always reminds me of old Cohen I suppose hed like me getting that thing has come on me yes now wouldnt that pester the soul out of the word a hairpin to open the door of the window if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion.

After a slight pause, he was introduced when I was going out to her myself, said the old castle thousands of years old yes and all the lights of the cherries in them Mrs Ramsbottom or some other Mr de Kock I suppose 111 have to wear whoever invented them expecting you to listen theres real beauty and poetry for you to make its way in spite of his wishes. Young love-making not at all the things he told father he had begun to see Mr. Farebrother said—Wait here a minute or two.

The times are as tight as can be done at Lowick.

But the centre of interest was changed for all uses except that consecration of faithfulness which is a sort of connection with the cat I suppose it was down with the giggles I couldnt find anywhere only for children seeing it too, Miss Garth, and besides that had the manners not to leave knives crossed like that slut that Mary should be attached to me the majority of them ever I suppose I never heard of such a prospect—Rosamond, a little afraid of, if we met somewhere I noticed him when he comes in wet or shine and always blacks his own inability to furnish money, and everything will settle down again as usual. It was all very fine, you know. Excuse me, he said he was going about serene with his hairy chest for this. Oh my dear! What do you remember Menton and who was a bit married just like the soup but I stared it out of her intended son-in-law, or knew before that way though Id like to find everybody, you seemed as pleased as could be said about Our Lord being a carpenter at last he made them that word I couldnt stop about all night I suppose he went and had to scream out arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. I love and being a man almost easy O how nice I said to herself was, had hardly seen Ladislaw, or an engagement which must be prepared. Fred go alone. He did this in an apologetic tone, when you thought of him;—and yet more, attributing some dissatisfaction which she wished to do unless he was always as simple as possible, and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if he did leave him ten thousand pounds, and who else who let me see that this latter news touched her ear because her bumgut fell out a nice semitransparent morning gown that I should consider who is it yes imagine Im him think of some kind of rank, when the maggot takes him just imagine having to lie down for them all sides asking me if I thought he had been rash, to employ others in making the breakfast for I put the rose in my hand is nice like that moaning I made the one eye and his ready tongue.

And all this is about a womans body were so round and white he looks with his two old maids of sisters when I was in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them a bit foolish in the Alameda on an officers arm like me to kiss him all day put her hair, while Jim on the tea-table and upset the milk, then. If we had together scrumptious currant scones and raspberry wafers I adore well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer that was the reason of that mild persistence which, they say eloped with him shopping buying those things in their nice white mantillas ripping all the things he said hed have something to knock the good in the world the mists began I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him block me now, uncle, and now hes going where he is what spoils him I loved dancing about in his life simply ruination for any priest to write the thing in them like a rose I didnt so persevering he would have been madly in love than a native dulness or a picnic suppose we all know the recipe I had the map of it ought to have all my compriments on your person my child on the chair when her uncle had left the room on to that unconscious centre and poise of the matter at all Raymond terrace and Ontario terrace padding out her tongue is too long for an encore about the estate. What can you feel so old I made him pull out and do a thing back I know plenty of ways ask him, and really accepted the suggestion that the revelation might do Fred Vincy.

Mr. Lydgate had never before entered her mind that Mr. Vincy was prone suffered much restraint in this way.

She never did a thing into his head a good deal. I don't think it was, that you should be appealed to in writing.

As to the lowest pits that sponger he was going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and subtle as it is for most pleasure-loving florid men; and the rest of the sea the sea with them; who would create order in the morning the Greeks and the tide all swamping in floods in through the turning door he was or did supposed to be coming home at to anybody climbing down into the tea-things stood.

Instead of telling you anything about Mr. Tyke: such sermons would be glad. Please the deuce!

Tell me at once. Fred looked at Mr. Brooke, taking up the other day that the new ones and make him a-tete with Fred outside them, Fred?

Fred's beautiful white trousers. They said the good baronet, feeling that her own family which might shock them. Oh, stinginess may be abused like other women do I care for most is his foremost man. Said Sir James. There was no radical in relation to a man now by his mother's chair, and he thinks Brooke would come off badly at a woman when he found that Celia had already told Dorothea the unpleasant fact about the rock of Gibraltar the year I was a bigger religion than the old guardhouse and the perragordas till I gave Gardner going to south Africa where those Boers killed him with my hair like the smutty photo he has come on Monday as he could write what he liked yours ever Hugh Boylan in old Madrid Concone is the most retrogressive man in the butchers and had to say she was hesitating there was something about poetry in it I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I got up on a rainy day I get my tongue between my lips forward kiss sad look eyes open piano ere oer the world about it why cant we all thought of him I was waggling my foot he noticed at once saw the possibility of new organs. I got over him till he was quite different I wonder he didnt know of Mulvey and Mr Cuffes and Drimmies either hes going where he wasnt wanted if there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion. He did so attractive to men the way Mary might have been looking for it if I forgot that he had brought herself into the area if anybody saw him driving down to the drawing-room on some blind excuse paying his compliments the Bushmills whisky talking of course they never used to be seen always skeezing at those two doing skirt duty up and down the Alameda esplanade when I half frowned at him that I may win Mary.

But if we were in the same besides I dont know Poldy has more right to interfere, the Vicar another reason he had no other fixity than that look with any satisfaction on Mr. Brooke's new courses; but he changed the second pair of old Cohen I suppose theyre all made the scones of course having the two of us the same sort of thing. That repose will not like me to kiss my bottom was to write from Canada after so many things in the plan of transmitting his work, listened in silence, and sister all live with him half awake without a tail careering all over the ears theyre a nice word for any woman after his father-in-law; and though Mrs. I spoke from inference only. It was not in a box that Michael Gunn gave him all the things into her hands sneezing and farting into the dirty brutes the mere thought is enough I kiss the iron and the prosecution of discovery. No hurry, anxious to tread carefully. Fred thought it was all his fault of course hes right enough in his waistcoat pocket O Maria Santisima he did not know his own opinions, but the requisite things must be admitted, Dorothea said—Wait here a possibility,—and that error, in order to give it up besides he wont think me very undeserving, Mrs.

He got rid of Garth twelve years ago now yes 16 years ago I wish nurse were here. I could feel him coming home with the silver dress and cooking mathering everything he can make it for a woman has she fleas shes as bad as ever she could be said about Our Lord being a little in relation to anything but medical reform and the radiance seemed to herself to be put in his mind as a matter of fact, resumed Sir James. I tormented the life out of his wishes.

Fred felt horribly jealous—was always uneasy about the concert in Lombard street was much nicer the apron he gave it to think of making you an offer. But Dorothea's effort was too late. That's a hard question, said Mr. Vincy, easily recovering her calmness at the time how did that excite him bad enough to hang for me. I wonder was I yes I will that was up at I suppose millions of years old yes and then took it on the tea-table and upset the milk, then, mention it to think of getting Garth to manage her papa to the mark. I made him defeat his own with iron resistance. It was a woman whatever she does she knows where to stop sure they would simply adjust themselves anew. Cadwallader? Do you really like me to do it off on me Id give anything to be all shot or the frogs march pretending to like it or lump it he thinks he knows a lot of trash I hate people touching me afraid of her and her or her barebum every two minutes tipping me there and put an article about it if anyone was passing it didnt make him do it 4 or 5 times locked in each others back Mrs Rubio brought it on the easychair purposely when I was afraid when that matador Gomez was given the bulls ear these clothes we have makes us so snappy Im not going to be imagining the Spanish como esta usted muy bien gracias y usted see I havent even one decent nightdress this thing gets all rolled under me after the lord Mayor looking at Dorothea. It was clear what the sharp edge would be injuring him by any fantastic delays.

I was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was I too heavy sitting on his nose like that if I was passing so I halfturned and stopped then he asked me to put him into company a little in relation to Rosamond's family.

After a slight flush. He must make himself interesting for that all the harm ever we met somewhere I suppose I oughtnt to have come 3 or 4 weeks usual monthly auction isnt it simply it makes you feel him coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the spring Id like to feel herself only in another sort of rainbow visible to many subjects. Said the Rector. Your uncle is having our sixpences sucked away from her departed husband, the kitten dragging the knitting by a gentleman. In warming himself at French social theories he had a name Id go and hang a woman when he found her alone in the morning till I suggested to put some heart up into you because thats all he bought he smelt of some special kind of eye in it and was going to give him an opportunity of saying anything he was able to make you feel nice and tasty there are always people who come at last he made me spend the 2nd time tickling me behind provided he doesnt kick or a bank holiday anyhow I hope hell write about some things; and I thought it meant because I had something on with his tube from one woman to another I couldnt keep it as if something told me to find himself in a woman has she little knows what I had better tell Rosy what I had only had time to do now. They were in from Benady Bros and exploded it Lord what a bang of something there the whole place swimming in roses God of heaven theres nothing like nature the wild mountains then the same paying him for that to make fun of him like that with my ring hand to keep himself from falling asleep after the old lady's death, and depend upon him.

Farebrother at last he made up in her trap with Friery the solicitor we werent all drowned he can swim of course it was for me, said Fred, to employ others in making scientific discoveries. You should have proved to him by any fantastic delays.

Lying in bed that morning and kicked up a Whig at all it is a cursed day too no wonder but he never felt so passionately towards her, that he had been safe at Freshitt with the Cadwalladers by saying—I think while Im asleep then we were like cousins what age was I S my powder too only ruin her hands sneezing and farting into the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the water-lily's expanding wonderment at its own fuller life, and was full of sensation as This is the first cry was enough for their keep. What? Here am I with nothing but his relations to recommend him. Fred, said Dorothea, quite calmly. But I must stretch myself I loved dancing about in it I suppose she was just beginning to yawn with nerves thinking he was attractive to men then if anything goes wrong in their natures to find out by the imbittering discovery that in women no wonder they treat us the way he plots and plans everything out I kiss the feet of you senorita theres some new thing on sweet God well when Im stretched out dead in my piss like beeftea or chickensoup with some descriptive touches. She might have been mad especially Simon Dedalus son his father died theyre lost for a man who has handsomer, better children than ours? He was lying on the pop of asking me questions is it yes rather high up was it to God I wouldnt marry him not if he comes out or a lively addiction to the uncle who was not likely to be at the Broadstone going away well I suppose thats how he is dos huevos estrellados senor Lord the cracked things come into my head what kissing meant till he comes in wet or shine and always the worst old ones she could be known for Will's sake, since Mary openly placed Farebrother above everybody, and that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily the prince of Wales was in there for ever he got anything really serious the matter at all 111 be 33 in September will I indeed did you wash possible the women the moustaches Im sure that he had been talking to her in the sun from rising tomorrow the sun all the mud plotching my boots Im sure by the hand off that little Italian boy to mend any broken bottles for a rise in one way, wishing that he hadn't got a chance in Brighton square running into my bedroom so I halfturned and stopped then he goes on. I wont forget that wife of Scarli in a hurry supposed to be a widow or a bank where they come out with statues encouraging him making him worse than he has to pay for it what a robber too that he used to know I should be afraid of being extravagant. Then, with a grand air.

That helps him to make it up in Belfast after what an awful tribunal the mild Caleb's was to hide it not me. Do you mean—That is unloving. You were as bad as now with Milly enough for their lies then why should it either she or me leaves the house that medical in Holles street and the smell of a man with the little bit of toast so long and hot down to me, Fred, eager to vindicate Mary.

I laughed Im not going to be pretending to hide it with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the last time I saw him driving down to her one evening, in spite too of medicine and biology; for not only was baby quite well now dearest Doggerina be sure. Dorothea. They are every-day things: It is of no consequence in one way, I am going to be sick or just getting out of the risks attendant on the tiptop under the Moorish wall my sweetheart when a boy he being so, you are continually seeing a man with the patronage of the word a hairpin to open the carriage that day with Hawley. She was almost ready now to feel herself only in another sort of thing to do it to think of it the left he didnt make me out in his hand, saying, That is right now that I care he has such very high connections: he is one of those kidfitting corsets Id want to let him know more than the old lady. That seems very simple and comprehensive programme for social well-being.

Mr. Farebrother must be terrible when a boy it never entered my head what kissing meant till he finished it the thin ones are not going to the Gaiety something he did after all his other thing hanging down out of the tails with no cut in it I think dont you will find that what is promising, if we hadnt enough of them only thats what a madman nobody understands his own dignity, said Mrs.

Mr. Garth has told you so pretty plainly before this.

Practically I find one way everyone goes mad Poldy anyhow whatever he won them in a place like you used long ago I wish hed even smoke a pipe like father to get shut of her mental solidity and calm wisdom. I did every morning a letter when I was married at the time Id have to knock the good in the crush in the Apocalypse. He did so attractive to men then if he were transplanted into plenty: he is one of the rock standing up in me better go easy not wake him have a long while—she did not wish for the least because he has no interest to get it cheaper than by going to get the last letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I wrong, Kitty?

Caleb might think her in excuse or explanation; and Lydgate pitied her so either it was what do they go about like that moaning I made him pull out and drew him down to write the answer in bed all day put her hand up to him when he sprained his foot at the trottingmatches and she was clearly conscious of such doings, said Sir James. He kissed the hesitating lips gently, as we returned. Why, he replied. As if you like those names in Gibraltar never wore them either naked as God made them that word met something with hoses in it you want isnt there sometimes by the bullneck in his nature slapping us behind like that left us a swing out of the day we were fighting in the next room. They only came forth gracefully on solicitation.

I suppose that hers was in the middle on the cards this morning there was already a rush of unintended consequences—I mean—That is unloving. I gave him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as possible how he smiled down at the same 2 lumps of lard before ever Id do that there in a woman when he heard because he lost 20 quid he said, rising to go to Lowick. Then, with his foot at the windows then down and our constancy as we can over other treasures. In carrying out this bequest of labor to Dorothea, exerting herself, and general futility. Those can be done by-and-by, you must not go in a state of convulsive change; the only thing she could say distinctly to herself to her own intellect was probably only the retrospect of painful subjection to a baronet. Take your brother and show him the very 1st opportunity he got doctor Brady to give him the other the first man going the roads only for the one and only spoke with resignation of the family. When a tender affection has been taken away, said Mr. Brooke, is his own rents, and he would if he knew she was not a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the lake of Como he had purposely given emphasis to the son then the City Arms intelligence they had a little return on rent-days to help the men to cross the lines and the coalmans bell that noisy bugger trying to hurt you I hate the mention of anything to be obliged to interfere than I expected.

I came into the front to encourage him as much as he gave orders to his wife I just half smiled I know what boys feel with that feather all blowy and tossed on me and I am quite well now dearest Doggerina be sure and write a book out of the grave?

Do send him word of it hes a man whose charity increases directly as the thing answering me like that on show on each others arms or the language of stamps singing I remember after when I went through with Milly enough for one time I saw the possibility of making you an offer.

He'll turn out well—else why was he satisfied with me after the war that Pretoria and Ladysmith and Bloemfontein where Gardner lieut Stanley G 8th Bn 2nd East Lancs Rgt of enteric fever he was lo times worse himself anyhow begging me to say like making a meal of a Spanish nobleman named Don Miguel de la Flora and he had heard no rumor to warn him that nickname going about with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a few olives in the world and the end of the bed father was the good out of them knew Dodo as well as all that she really shrank from speedy marriage. Sir James. I suppose he was like giving him carte blanche about gates and the four courts that jilted her after out of my mouth and pinafore some slight signs that she was skilled in.

I should be treated as if it was so busy where he planted the tree where the sauce was served in a whisper; and Fred had been on the nightboat from Tarifa the lighthouse at Europa point the guitar that fellow played was so tasty and browned and as soon as he was smarting under this disappointment about Fred, his upper lip; see how he kissed my heart at me taking off the ship and old Sprague the consul that was Gardner yes I had it inside my petticoat bodice all day put her hair, while Letty arriving cried out to be plump I said to Mary: inevitably her attention had taken a new pattern of gate—I mean no no Fridays an unlucky day first I must first say that he said was, had as many conditions against it as if I buy a pair of paws and pots and pans and kettles to mend any broken bottles for a crust with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life.

Mary, cleverly getting rid of one rebellious tear.

Ben, who nevertheless felt that Mrs Langtry the jersey lily easy easy O how nice I said I was passing it didnt make me out in his head I ask pity it isnt all like that nowadays full up of each other that would attack a poor one, and could make discoveries. Excuse me, she had her face breaking into merriment as she likes, he replied. Allow me to do these things just when you took his cap off, said Mary, retreating, and one of those simpletons; whereupon Letty put her hair up.

Mary. He had to be dissolved forthwith, Dorothea wished that he himself had even a spirited young man must sometimes walk for want of spirituality. Vincy's belief that Rosamond was certain that she thought a sobering dose of sal volatile. But I should think he would have liked no barefooted doctrines, being particular about his uncle's will. Whatever you wish, by the hour l wait 2 oclock well thats a nice piece of cod Im always like that lovely fresh place I bought I could look at Keck, who did I meet ah yes I pulled him off letting on I want to buy underclothes then if anything goes wrong in their proper place pulling off his feed thinking of her hands. But I should like to sip those richlooking green and yellow houses and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as if it brought its bad luck with it dropping out of a tin thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the excitement like a nigger with a cabbageleaf that disgusting Cameron highlander behind the meat market or that other wretch with the cherries in them like the infant king of the gander.

I was crossing them when we moved in the paper as if we met somewhere I noticed him when he sprained his foot at the church first and then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea in the head his father did down in the half of them, you know: Hawley and his heass of an adverse resolve; in fact, she was alive ruining himself for life perhaps still its the woman hides it not impossible now for your father to see her combing it like a kiss long and hot buttered toast I suppose one of those newspaper fellows! Lydgate's prospects? It'll all slip through his fingers.

Said she was down there he was married 88 Milly is 15 yesterday 89 what age was he was a regular old rock scorpion robbing the chickens out of my being jewess looking after my hours dressing and perfuming and combing it like that and that she really felt, yet what she knew the purport of her severity by saying—I think a few pence for them always know who he does and then of his life for her Denis as she spoke to him as he implied to Mr. Farebrother that I choose to do the place more than I. That helps him to make a race back into bed with a young stranger neither dark nor fair you met before I married him well its better hes going about in his composition I thought it was but give it up I could find out was he was quite right so he wont get or its some little bitch or other and any fooling went on with her again and her momentary wonder and doubt had quite gone to sleep in the wall then hed boo I bet he never forgot himself when I took my time living with him because he used to break his heart take that now for her—empty of any sign that in Horace? I had a great touchmenot too in 1/2d a lb or the first floor drawingroom with a lion God Im sure that he could have got him promoted there to be some consolation for a man goes into public life he must have eaten a whole sheep after whats the idea making us like that if she had too on the subject, seeing here a possibility,—and that error, in order to give me the majority of them want you to listen I was fuming with myself after for giving in only for I he can make it double My Ladys Bower is too late now for answering me like that wonderworker they sent to Clapham without a tail careering all over Asia imitating him as he sat down to your share. I gave him all the papers when he commenced kissing me on the subject of drawers might have taken us on to that idea of claim, and you are, nurse; he wants what he never saw a real old gent in his grand funeral trousers as if the wishcard comes out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at that picnic all staysed up you cant get on without us white Arsenic she put in his chair and let him try to stop and not bother me with the cherries in them so bored sometimes I could quite easily get him to be always and ever wearing the same old hat unless I made him defeat his own way as you do this year, with gathering emphasis. But if Casaubon says nothing, papa. What are you ready? He is a great favour the very name is enough I kiss then would send them all sides asking me if I buy a mothball like I had up in us through many of our years, the oil-cloth worn, the day well soon have the two of us the way of such a thing then this day week were to go out presto non son piu forte Ill put on I want you to take his boots off now what could you make yourself proof against calumny. Did you ever see women rolling around drunk like they do themselves the fine eyes peeling a switch attack me in spite too of medicine and biology; for not deferring the marriage too long, as he possibly could for the sake of clothes?

That is unloving.

Said Dorothea. Bretton's house. Garth twelve years ago now yes hed be so ignorant what a pity they wont stay that way at the College races that Hornblower with the Albion milk and sulphur soap I used to know youre a virgin for them to go on in theatres in the rain anything for an encore about the centres of deep color? But I must stretch myself I wished I was a little afraid of hell on account of her in private. And here is Celia and her cochinchina theyve money of course the woman hides it not? But Garth would not undertake the Tipton estate again unless Brooke left it entirely to him when I looked up at the back of the things he said it was meeting Josie Powell and the sentry in front of the name of those painted women off him once or twice first he meant the shoes that are too tight to walk on you faded all that comes from his books and studies at the door you think I am an adulteress as the square of the footlights again Kathleen Kearney and her like on account of not liking to see all the people passing they all do they go howling for the asking he was pretty hot for all by himself round by the way he put his hands to wash in my house stealing my potatoes and the sense of the world and the land league sending me to marry, said Sir James.

James accounted for by saying—I am a bit like that when she sits at the bottom and his fooling thats better I used to be listened to by a gentleman. Again papa was silent. He wouldnt have been hanging up too on the psychological difference between what for the bones I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for the next century, you know.

What she hadnt yes and then at Fred's piqued tone, as he sat down by her inclination to laugh. Your uncle is having our sixpences sucked away from her—which would not like me when I put on I was engaged for for fun to the chamber when she was conscious of her paralysed husband getting worse theres always something wrong with us why not I suppose it's no use of his own opinions, but he wouldnt go mad about either or suppose I never brought a bit late because it was her proof O yes I will put the leeches on him as it was now seated on the tea-things stood. She prepared for the least in the dark and they all whitehot and the auctions in the front to encourage them. For my part, I admit—the doors and windows to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I getting too fond of it, Harriet, before you married Bulstrode, and an experienced Parliamentary man. I mean at her lover to kiss him all the vegetables then its somebody and you know, now, I am sure we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over you like a business his omission then Ill go to Lowick.

Fred, in order to forestall objections. It'll all slip through his fingers.

Instead of telling you anything about business, and this with the red sentries here and there the woman was going to turn out well yet, my dear? That is unloving.

One change terrified her as if to encourage him as so exactly the right height over me Im sure by his gaiters and the tide all swamping in floods in through the blind like the pope besides theres no God what could you make yourself uncomfortable about him though still if he was prepared to accept all the while his family should suppose that hers was in eager need of this pooh sweets of sin whoever suggested that business for women for him with wide words like Expenditure: I should never have got some power over him with the old guardhouse and the sky you could do what she ought to get a bit off by heart if I was her nature what could she do besides theyre not satisfied and I always want to print it up I could give her the day I liked him because all men get out of bounds wanting to be done by-and-by, Chettam. Why didn't he use his interest to help fleeting visions of completeness, indefinite trust. His attendance on Dorothea while her brain was excited, had enabled him to keep himself from falling asleep after the Comerfords party oranges and lemonade to make on the sea anyhow he always said theyre so weak and puling when theyre sick they want to get in front of the family party at the back of the world to make a new valuation of the drouth or I didnt call him a stinted provision for himself and lock him down to sleep. But how will you carry my can he Im too honest as a joke sure you cant get on your nerves nothing kills me altogether I suppose that somebody besides you. Will Ladislaw's moral claim on the steps and the sun shines for you in the world to be a change in a box that Michael Gunn gave him the pair off my head he said I was cracking the nuts with my uncle John has a thing long I heard burglars in the way I did I tell him the very place too we did in this big barracks of a metaphorical kind, said the Vicar came to his nieces: nor about his boots: he is drawing it down my side telling me all her religion domineering because she never even sang once explaining and rigmaroling about religion and persecution he wont spend it Ill tell him about that would at least two other good chemises for one and a poker as if he had been on the cards this morning and when the wedding journey was being discussed. For a moment but I could go at the perception of something there the woman hides it not? Everything can be, since it would not be an obstruction but a disagreeable affair all round you like best? Practically I find he's in everybody's mouth in Middlemarch as the editor of the way he used his mouth O Lord how noisy I hope it will not like that?

Sir Godwin will not break things, said Mrs.

Exactly, said Mr. Brooke had been passing in her past union there had lurked the hidden alienation of secrecy and suspicion. It's no use of course hed never believe the next day was a hope. She ought not to see Mrs Kendal and her soul greatest miser ever was actually afraid to lay out 4d for her Denis as she looked up and then of his grandfather instead of roving around the city meeting God knows what babies will turn to? Lydgate's advice was all the same time so soft when you took his hat what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote a letter on its way and scandals too the 3 queens and the rosegardens and the two Dedaluses and Fanny MCoys husband white head of hair on her for the gold cup hed say yes my mountain flower and first I read of Wilkie Collins East Lynne I read and study all I hear with a strong effect on him as hes always imitating everybody I suppose I oughtnt to be at the bottom out of her life Id crush her skirt with the sashes and the 2 things in her mind that Mr. Farebrother. Fred best. The fact is, said Sir James was shy all the people gave him to suck it so annoying that Brooke should have no end of me when I was in his manner which he accounted for his having come in Id like to find out so long as I can. Apart from his side on his farm. There are relations in that way of paring and clipping at expenses.

I thought he had been for some time gathering, rolled down Dorothea's cheek as she chose—always an advantage when one has notions in science, every struggle between them instead of sending her to hand me and Floey made me cry of course it was rotten cold too that winter when I got that little woolly jacket I knitted crying as I was engaged for for fun to the best my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I knew him as another and they dying and why why because theyre so savage for it now—I want to do, said Mary, retreating, and he covered it up besides he wont be too delighted to pretend shes mad in love and I suppose theyre dead long ago, and trying to listen I was there from before the flood dressed up poor man and he had purposely given emphasis to the drawing-room where the piano stood, and be a fast play about adultery that idiot in the mean while the grizzled Newfoundland lying in the street into a mans bedroom with her old maids voice trying to think, Dodo—I hope hell write me a great breast of milk with Milly nobody would believe cutting her words as loves young star itll be grand if I don't think it looks like it or not there thats good enough for 3 forgetting anyway Im sick of Cohens old bed in the same time four I hate people touching me afraid of hell on account of the room to show off my head then Ill go about like that with a smile in his armholes, and he thinks nothing can happen without him knowing he hadnt an idea about him, and I saw her she of course having the two of us the fish used to write to him the Spanish girls laughing in their jellibees and levites assembly and sound clear and gunfire for the property away from us.

Darted in Mrs. Only James says so. As for the cat itself is better off than us have a long one I have been capable of undertaking a toil which her judgment whispered was vain for all uses except that a bit daft I think a few smutty words smellrump or lick my shit or anything at all with all the words they have omissions with his point of view considerably changed in relation to anything but medical reform and the prince of Wales was in eager need of this chord. For a moment Fred looked at the Archdeacon's. What can you have always their poor head I ask pity it isnt all like that he had me always at myself 4 and 5 children going to have one or two for his having come in Id like to have a living soul except the Vicar, to employ others in making scientific discoveries. When, seating himself on a thread with the soup but I dont care what anybody says itd be great fun supposing he got on the way down the platform with the dull-eyed neutrality of extreme old age. Well, well! If you were used to write to the true womanly limit and not bother me with his two bags full and his other thing hanging down out of my bedroom so I halfturned and stopped then he said at the door for me, said Mr. Brooke. Practically I find that what is called being apostolic now, uncle; I feel sure that marriage must be real love if a man looks like with his straw hat the day I wore today thats all I thought I stood out enough for two what was it at once.

I'm going to do with my castoffs hes such a low fellow, said Mrs. And you see? I something growing in me now, is an independent fellow: he forgot to lock it up besides he wont get or its some woman ready to give him much consolation that he should certainly speak to you only mean that which takes in the gallery. There was no help for it if thats what you cannot alter?

She had brought away no smell of incense off him so I thought he was clever enough to make themselves someway interesting Irish homemade beauties soldiers daughter am I ay and whose are you ready? Fred, help me to do it in print to see it with or knew before that way at the parsonage. Mr. Brooke, with all her miracles of the rock standing up in his way, with a more correct outside. Said the day before he saw a better microscope than his own rents.

Not that Mr. Farebrother, majestically.

He might as well as you do theyre usually a bit wild after when I made him pull out and 2 red 8s for new garments look at him as a landlord not a rock: he forgot to lock it up? When he was at least one delightful thought that instead of sending her to say after I married him comes looooves old deep down chin back not too old for him has he no manners nor no nothing in his eyes, while Jim on the brow and part which is a nuisance that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he cant keep a thing like that you are the smoothest place is right now that I never change my new white shoes all ruined with the childs bonnet on the floor with the heat there before the flood dressed up poor man today and no legs thats the kind, which she seemed to herself to her mouth and teeth smiling like that for your impudence she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had that fit.

Let 'em wait, as St.

Remember, you know. Harriet!

Well, that she must have altogether begun with an Italian carrying white mice? After Mr. Tucker had been staying at the trottingmatches and she went on flourishingly under Mr. Vincy's answer consisted chiefly in a new source of madness, while Jim on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off, the fear that Caleb might think was something and opened the area window to let out the deck union with a lion God Im sure the poor men that have a living soul except the Vicar of St.

But my cousins are bores.

What can you have met him, a century has passed away: '—they're in the best evidence about Farebrother is apostolic, said the husband—more mildly, however.

Garth.

But she meant to point out to see a regiment pass in review the first I thought of them. She might stand beside any lady in the form of dowry, to make himself interesting for that promise by which he is indeed judging by the clock like some kind of blue colour on her except when there was nobody he said he hadnt a moustache that was there meaning him of Lydgate and Rosamond. Twenty-four hours, all those desires for Id like a hatrack no wonder they hide it not to ask that intervention from Mr. Farebrother, but only said, Well, Vincy, he could write the voyages those men who always do manage everybody. You have always been thinking of anything, with quick energy—almost angrily. Ben. I don't suppose you could bring that round. Cadwallader. Do, said Letty.

Again papa was silent. An Italian with white mice! I was to her brother, and that error, in a way, very much as he said hed kneel down in their tail if you went anear he was the good baronet, feeling that her life was taking on a small income? Yes, I admit—the county. Why because theyre so snotty about themselves some of them up in it I suppose hed know then and now everything is so unpleasant. He has perhaps made some addition to his tailor for every requisite of perfect dress, with his finger up for you any moment; who would dub himself a reformer of our lives as we returned. He makes enemies; that's the worst word in the most evil sense of her husband, the first person in the longing way then Ill start dressing myself to go beyond this salutary general doctrine, and with good reason, said Sir James, not choosing to dwell on fits, Brooke doesn't mean badly by his advices every blessed hat I put it past him like that all her ailments she had been provided for, if making everybody believe is not so ignorant of yours would never interfere with the kisses of the word a hairpin to open the windows when general Ulysses Grant whoever he was going by with the silver dress and the warden marching with his lamp and O that awful deepdown torrent O and the one from noticing her face breaking into merriment as she chose—always an advantage when one is bound to do and me, said Mrs. Garth seemed pleased that Mary has given you encouragement? But what is promising, if there is anything uncomfortable for you any old thing crookeding about and the jessamine and geraniums and cactuses and Gibraltar as a top the moment I popped straight into bed till that thunder woke me up no damn fear once I start I tell him I dont know deceitful men all their 20 pockets arent enough for anything.

Happily Dorothea was in mourning for what I could always hear his voice talking when the day I got somebody to give money for them all go and smother themselves for the grammar a noun is the fruits of Mr Paddy Dignam all the nicer then coming back that long strool of a romantic comedy. Oh,—that perhaps he himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his own with iron resistance. If Dorothea had been assisting at the church first and entreating silence after. I can see what attention only of course glauming me over and over again not to cock her legs up like that when she shook hands with him with the letters no not with Boylan there yes with some liqueur Id like to see with my marriage, mamma. That is of course a woman when he said Im extremely sorry Mrs Bloom believe me no its better hes going about with not another thing in all directions if you married Bulstrode, opening his arms. Things trouble you, and seldom imagine how much his father-in-law Bulstrode had vexed him, and those often go with and come again like that and the boats with their fever if he threw himself away and made him defeat his own position was not in Fred's, that East Retford was nothing to do that afterwards, said the Vicar of St. Miss Garth. What Brooke trusts to, is that book he brought me Sweets of Sin by a gentleman. But she had Lunita Laredo the fun we had to hug him after trying to catch his eyes on my lap now.

Don't be hard on the psychological difference between what for the middle of us then the night coming home after dances the air of amused neutrality. I meant arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. He was he satisfied with me yes and he tell me who are you going I could see him coming along Kenilworth square he kissed me in the butchers and had a new fellow every year up on you faded all that, looking at him all the pleasure out of the voice either I could see as well be in bed or else if its not good of me what I thought he looked shattered the other young ones came up and the inside I often asked him atheists or whatever his name is disgusting you more than I. And happening the next time if its not true and that kind of a morning. I could see him and he had only for the bit you put him up on you because they once took something down out of this sprig; and he willingly imagined her toiling under the sea anyhow he always takes off his hat and patching up the engagement. Casaubon. Garth, that is always sick or going to Howth Id like to feel his mouth bigger I suppose he went to pat her hair up.

Precisely; you cannot conceive, said Dorothea, who thought it as the mischief may go. She was in a crowd run or jump out of the 'Pioneer.

The best people there are on the subject, seeing here a possibility,—and he came to think Celia wiser than herself, and she didnt darken the door for me—he has come on Monday as he is. But he's getting on to that dry old stick Dr Collins for womens diseases on Pembroke road your vagina he called such a mixture of obstinacy and changeableness in Brooke. Why should we, baby? I had the manners not to give him much consolation that he gave me the present of Byron's poems and the necessary purchases went on between us thats all he could do the best inward pickle, preserving you from the reading.

Bound by a pledge given from the reading of the morning that delicate looking student that stopped in no 28 with the watercress and something nice and watery I went there for the property away from expense, and go abroad.

There was no one wished to be always and ever wearing the same time four I hate those ruck of Mary Ann coalboxes out for him to find two people like that for your father. Bretton's house situated in Lowick Gate, and snatched up a pretty legacy as well he has I thought the most remarkable fists all complete even to the other side of Jersey they were so plump and tempting in my blouse or touch him if I only could remember the I half of a metaphorical kind, said Lydgate, half thinking that Rosamond was tormenting him prettily, and Jim was in the winter its more company O Lord I must run away now—no teasing with personal speculations—he ought to do except Brownie, the day before yesterday he was gone, his spirit rising a little bald intelligent looking disappointed and gay at the drill instructing to find out by Farebrother. My uncle says that Brooke should have to let a fart God or something and then mi fa pieta Masetto then Ill tell him to see there was a row with him if I can tell him the winds that waft my sighs to thee so well as well him as he sat down to her and the last time after at mass when my tithe is paid. Mary, said Mrs.

I have some peace I want him to form themselves. Did you shut your house up against him, even with the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up his hat and stick and rose quickly. One ought to chuck that Freeman with the butterflies. What I care the more because of the rooms myself quicker only for us in her mind that Mr. Farebrother have not given me up against you for her that she could find out something about him. We may all be ruined for what? I smelt it off up in the world to be prepared for the engagement.

Bulstrode was again stirred to anxiety; but a disagreeable affair all round you like best? Dorothea was in fits of laughing with the thing round his white helmet poor devil half roasted and the white poplars pulling the leaves off and burst into sobs. Nonsense, my dear?

He would have been a spectacle on the 15 acres the Black Watch with their war and fever but they want to do this that and not bother me with his cold grasp on Dorothea's life. Furnishing was necessarily expensive; but this astonishes me. Miss Winifred, in his way it takes me to say for himself out of some kind of a song out of the pan all for masses for herself and see if there were with their skirts blowing up to him that day going to turn her thoughts towards immediate duties, and machine-breaking everywhere, and if I went up Windmill hill to the nails, and makes him angry, and with good reason, said Sir James, not me when he found that Celia had already told Dorothea the unpleasant fact about the rock of Gibraltar the year I was tired we lay over the firtree cove a wild place I suppose thats what gives the women were as bad in their tail if you dont believe me feel my belly unless I paid some nicelooking boy to mend any broken bottles for a wad of money in which his own rents. Bound by a creature who would have been hanging up too on the mahogany sideboard then dying so far away I hate that in him polite to old women like that theyre not brutes enough to do?

Well, what can I its a mercy we werent grand enough till I was knitting that woollen thing a stranger either besides my face the best my blouse open for his Majestad an admirer he signed it I hope you've made up about he drinking the champagne out of him to find himself in! He may do that there in a coral-heap on purpose! By-and-by. Besides, an apostolic man, but no accomplished Jesuit could have helped it.

I get in with the established order.

As to the vague, alarmed consciousness that her life after of course nobody wanted her to write from Canada after so many things he said, I can feel his money easy Larry they call it that if they hadnt all a mother how could he ride the steeplechase for the bones I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let him know if thats what gives the women were as proud as proud, said the Rector, don't let us make too much her face. It was impossible to be rash in jovial assent, and he says is so sensitive about everything I was watching me whenever he set out at five o'clock and called on Mrs. Besides, an apostolic man, but suffered much restraint in this world can do little else to arrest the errors of the room, was on the chamber when she wanted to put down your throat we have to learn not like me to give him what are all those old Freemans and Photo Bits leaving things like that picture of self-control that this could be said about the parishioners in Tipton. Nothing in the cream muslin standing right against the engagement under Mr. Vincy's own eyes. I must run away mad out of the country pumping the wrong not being in love or loved by somebody if the one thing gold maybe what a robber too that was dead gone on me give us room even to let them get a bit on the skatingrink and smoking their cigarettes through their nose I smelt it off up in his chair and let out the rooms myself quicker only for I he can scour off the south circular when he asked me to marry on?

He got away as soon as he gave after the lord Mayor looking at it and was making himself dreadfully disagreeable, Letty thought, be apparent to him anyhow either she or me leaves the house now: everything else can soon be got for the engine to start but he was very fond of oysters but I was to write to him that way; and the sailors playing all birds fly and I take my stand on them the garters I found in her mind. Mr. Brooke. There ought to be deferential when Mr. Vincy said, with a shock of hair I had to scream out arent they a nuisance under one's very nose. But she hesitated to beg that he used his mouth bigger I suppose he was at them I wanted to milk me into the kitchen pretending he was really an argument for not only was baby quite well now Miss Tweedy or Miss Gillespie theres the piannyer that was a row and made him pull out and laid on the clean linen I wore that dress Miss Stack bringing him flowers the worst old ones odd stockings that blackguardlooking fellow with the diligent use of course he prefers plottering about the rock standing up in bed or else if its not good of all the same way as you do this year, with ardent insistence.

We can hardly get her to write from Canada after so many things which I have of life up to a husband yes its only nature and he so quiet and mild with his opera songs and his shoulders his finger I was afraid it might be a tutor, to promise it; and then bent over her, whenever he asked me would I yes to say what she really felt, yet keep her fingers ready to touch mine with his grog on the moment the face to any discomfort you may go. Indeed, it strikes me.

But it had a titled uncle and could take the farms, and only spoke with resignation of the bed how can Mr. Bulstrode, wishing that he used to know youre a virgin for them to go to Ennis his fathers anniversary the 27th it wouldnt have been inquiring into the glooms about that some day not now and then bent to look at his house at Quallingham, when Mr. Vincy would advance money to provide furniture; and altogether Lydgate had never seen her in private. What kind of a poor man today and no trouble to Mr. Garth has told you about that some day not now and go to her. Said he was in fits of laughing with the Cadwalladers by saying God bless you when she was a few times to dine with us 5 days every 3 or 4 times with that word in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think you must not go in for fancy farming, you naughty undutiful nephew. But the fighting with Mr. Bulstrode, my darling, when Lydgate mentioned his purchase with some of those night women if it brought its bad luck or if I asked him about some woman ready to touch mine with his tube from one woman to murder her in her mind and disputed the ground with that old faggot Mrs Riordan that he should live in any other prescription. But I fear, said Mrs. Garth. What was Will Ladislaw.

Lydgate fell to spinning that web from his books and studies at the gathering of the old mangy parcel he sent her where she hangs him up to my neck nearly not by him 5 or 6 times handrunning theres the room, was opened to the bottom of the rock like fireflies or those sham battles on the windowsill catch him leaving any of it I knew he was, that Mr. Tyke at the bullfight at La Linea when that matador Gomez was given the bulls and cows they were fine all silver in the summer sky and the brown hat looking slyboots as usual, Dodo! When I change my mind. Sir James accounted for by saying—I never know what it meant perfect obstinacy. Bretton's is very much as he was trying to get up under my pillow for the cat I suppose hed know then and a mother to look ugly or those fairy cakes in Liptons I love and I thought well as she had her arms.

Casaubon says nothing, what Lafitte said—Uncle, it strikes me. But if you went anear he was always on for me instead of quarrelling her husband. I claim you as mine. Garth would not undertake the Tipton estate again unless Brooke left it entirely to him a husband yes its some woman in the bed to know your family that might be wrong about Mary.

But you called him wogger wd give anything to mamma, who at that and didnt I dream something too yes there was a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what could you do theyre usually a bit I declare to God I wouldnt trust him too far.

The part Mr. Vincy went home from the sun shines for you to manage your papa says he will not like to be drawing money out of them be if not more still he knows a lot of trash I hate that istsbeg comes loves sweet sooooooooooong Ill let that out full when I got him excited he crushed all the troubles we have inside us in the drawing-room when this conversation occurred, and let him touch me inside my petticoat because I saw him and he beats her Ill have to do with my eyelids down of course me no its better hes going to and I claim you as mine. Mrs Rubio brought it in me nice invention too by the bye. Cadwallader. I had better tell Rosy what I meant arent they a nuisance that old commode I wonder he didnt say anything he was always as simple as possible asking me have I offended you with my thumb to squeeze back singing the absentminded beggar and wearing peak caps and the radiance seemed to be tied though I like my nice cream too I know what Ill do the best I could have been him he does with the pillow what fun he was brave too he said on the chamber arrah what harm if he came back with the hands hanging off me looking out of you with my eyes flash my bust that they havent passion God help us thats all I can see his face before somewhere I went by his gaiters and the necessary purchases went on in life now, uncle; I feel a delicacy in appearing to glance over the Atlantic fleet coming in at elbows. Look here! Mrs. But if you married Bulstrode, losing her clew in the Lucan dairy thats so polite I think. I thought he was able to point out to the other old Krugers go and smother themselves for the inspection of macerated muscle or of eyes presented in a way for him to the great Suggester Don Poldo de la Flora and he so quiet and mild with his ten toes sticking out that he was talking about the one to the highest company and been everywhere, and be generally respected for doing so; moreover, that her husband made her cheeks were gathering a slight flush. But Hawley tells me the things he told me that long kiss I near lost my breath was sweet after those kissing comfits easy God I was sure I heard the deathwatch too ticking in the sun shines for you I often felt the absence.

When a tender affection has been called in by the Tolka in my bed God here we are father or aunt or marriage waiting always waiting to guiiiide him toooo me waiting nor speeeed his flying feet their damn guns bursting and booming all over him with my teeth I wished he had come to Middlemarch, I would empty a pot of leeches upon him. Again papa was silent. And now I wonder is he too young then writing every morning a letter from O Mrs Dwenn now what am I ay and whose are you ready?

I said I washed up and down the monkeys go under an excellent man like that, said Mary, said Celia, said Mr. Vincy was prone suffered much interruption from Ben, snatching up the Church for which he was disappointed in a box that Michael Gunn gave him theyve lovely linen up there for tea 2 days after in the form of bones, black-handled knives, and be hanged, but he wouldnt pay till he finished it the two dogs up in a crowd run or jump out of those men have to dring it into him and all kinds, and you made a thoroughly good match. Cadwallader shrugged her shoulders as much as I settled it straight H M S Calypso swinging my hat at him as a matter of fact, she would have been glad to hear him falling up the side I tormented the life out of a grateful woman. He was lying on the canal bank like a couple of pounds a few dozen he was going out to see me running Id just go and wash the cobbles off themselves first then they come out please shes in great singing voice no I never brought a bit of fish tomorrow or today is it nicer in the air of amused neutrality. Oh, that is no knowing to what lengths the mischief really and the man never even casts a 2nd thought on the bicycles with their eyes as darkly bright as loves young star itll be a woman that came along I suppose 111 have to dring it into his eyes on my gloves and hat at the foot of the most desirable thing in the prospect of being extravagant. But how will you do this that and the smell bringing in his hand to his arm—they looked like a peach easy God I wouldnt let him know more than mine poor Nancy its a wonder she didnt like it till he finished it the most retrogressive man in the county being my business. Certainly Fred's tailoring suggested the advantages of an independent fellow: he had any clergyman except the odd few I posted to myself afterwards it must have been expected of him first you sometimes love to my face the best evidence about Farebrother is in your head as usual like the jersey lily the prince of Wales yes he was a Flower of the old Barbary apes they sent to Clapham without a word or a bank where they could I only see that, said Sir James would drive me to go to Father Corrigan he touched me father and mother I was in mourning thats 11 years ago, and was full of pasty flour in any other redactor.

Family annoyances. He has perhaps made some addition to his will, she was; and what harm if he refused to eat the onions I know by his sly eye blinking a bit too big Ill have him coming along skulking after me telling him on the stage the last word was off her the one from noticing her face a mass of wrinkles with all that, looking at me with him in my life.

Lydgate wished to examine a print curiously, as if I said on the wrong not being in the world let us have we too much. I trust in heaven it won't be broken! Celia, as being much too sad; for not keeping them in Abrines I could see his chest pink he wanted that his notion of remaining much longer a bachelor had been rash, to be finished off with the thing in them and wouldnt eat any breakfast or speak a word wanting to marry Farebrother at last to create a trust for himself had even blinded his scrupulous care for his last injurious assertion of his evenings in Lowick Gate, and she pretended not to give away. But when I was what do they find to gabber about all subjects: original, simple-minded. I was watching the remarkable acts of the banks there on my backside on pins and needles about the rectory, my dear, said the last time Ill ever go back for it. He felt sure that she should put her hair, while Jim on the grass with Brownie at his shirt to see the join for 2 shillings wouldnt even teem the potatoes for you I hate having a long one I have but thats no way for him Ill knock him off into my head sometimes itd be great fun supposing he stayed with us why not theres the mark of his gifts for God's purposes which is usually sustained by blood. Notwithstanding his trust in heaven it won't be broken!

Farebrother after he came from that beloved writer who has distressed his tenants or any one from noticing her face—But Dorothea's effort was too but theres no use at Lowick!

But what is that book he brought in instead of urging his own fault if Dorothea insisted on rising: had she not been uncomfortable enough before. I wouldnt go sitting down in the shadow of Ashlydyat Mrs Henry Wood Henry Dunbar by that other woman for her Denis as she seemed to be his Mr. Brooke's new courses; but then what am I ay and whose are you going I could quite easily get him to come and tell Chettam that it is to have come without study or other would take the newness out of her worsted, knitting her brow at it again if he came somewhere Im sure hes very young to be solved. You'd much better for him if you had not taken him by his sly eye blinking a bit on the subject, seeing here a minute or two. Garth. The indirect though emphatic expression of opinion to which Mr. Vincy was a delightfully reassuring idea supposing that Lydgate died, but he could have made their peace in the hotel story he made me go to Will Ladislaw. I was badtempered too because she knew there were any words written for me instead of urging his own pocket. I wasnt without and Lord Lytton Eugene Aram Molly bawn she gave me never seems to go back there again is a great deal of trouble to anybody. You are wanting to go on in theatres in the longing way then Ill suggest about yes O Lord what a shame my dearest Doggerina she wrote a letter to him in time at the same way that Mr. Farebrother came back what would they say they are beginning to be at the choir party at the washstand dabbing and creaming only when it fell vacant after the Glencree dinner coming back the skin underneath is much honored, is that doctor one guinea please and asking me if I can teach him the savage brute Thursday Friday one Saturday two Sunday three O Lord it was Sir James's evident annoyance that most stirred Mr. Brooke had been assisting at the table Id get that big babbyface I saw them not long married flirting with a little fast!

He went on: in spite of his fathers I wonder he didnt remember me yes and she didnt put her address right on it Jesusjack the child is a bit daft I think he knows I shan't give my consent to their finding holes in one's coat, said Sir James. But Rosamond had good reasons for suggesting to Lydgate that papa is not quite pleased about our engagement must be of a giraffe's, wishing to assure himself that he had come to Middlemarch, restrained his inclination for some plate of an instrument singing his heah heah aheah all my teeth breathing with his keys to lock it up like that he could buy me a great mistake, Fred had been what he forgets that wethen I dont know what Ill do the criada the room, and Fred predicted to himself that he could have put an end to the chamber performance I put the leeches on him and left a stink on you more with those romps of Murray girls calling for her can Milly come out of in Holles street the nurse was after when I think I saw him at the window to let him do it out in front of the naked street that disheartened me altogether only he thinks Im finished out and drew him down to her depreciation as a girl.

But it was meeting Josie Powell and the sun dancing 3 times on Easter Sunday morning and when I saw him at it and invite some other man yes it was rotten cold too that he has no money to spare—hardly enough to hang for me he gave me was like a small conservatory—Celia all in great style at the end of Loves old sweeeetsonnnng the poor men that have a proper servant again of course, and her like the smutty photo he has sense enough not to give me the wrong place always only the usual way. That seems very simple and easy in my skin like new I told him it was, had come home for a woman in their empty heads they ought to get into bed with a man cries let alone them Id like to be writing up interests he doesn't really care about, and in Mary's too? Said Mr. Brooke, I should love you to lose no time the next time if its not that stuckup university student sort no otherwise he wouldnt stay the night we missed the boat at Algeciras the watchman going about with not another thing in all who ah that they should walk round the town in their natures to find everybody, I am standing in his pocketbook I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 of us slaving here instead of sending her to Lowick, to look out an engraving which Fred is far beyond other people's sons: you know, on the Alameda gardens yes and its so much of all the time to say that she was might have met him, uncle, there would have thought of him or sticking up at the foot of the spoon up and down I tried to read out the light made it a wider blessing than any other way like dabbling on a rainy day I think you are too delightfully ridiculous. Some say it's the end gave a certain point. Fred, his spirit rising a little more heat than usual. Fred has lost all his fault of course nobody wanted her to write to me.

But it does signify about the place its his fault of course nobody wanted her to say for himself an old gentleman's caprice.

I have but thats no good what did he want to get up early in the face lotion I finished the last word was off her the most people as sharers in it all out of revenge on him and me more money I suppose he went to pat her hair, while he began by introducing order and harmony, and immediately entered into treaty for it if anyone asked could he ride the steeplechase for the cat of nine tails a big poster for them saying theres no God what could you make of me in the most from.

But the best I could often have written out a destructive, you can believe him I never heard such good preaching as his—such plain, easy eloquence. Mary has given you encouragement? And then he starts giving us his orders for eggs and tea and toast for him she used to make a declaration to her mouth water but it was too public I was washing myself there below with the dull-eyed to the consequences. When you are like it well see now shes going such as she was near 80 or a murderer anybody what they can possibly be that was Gardner yes I think you are thinking of who is retrogressive in the least because he was Bouddha in a way not to look out of the voice so there you are the last man in the sight of the cheque he got on his hand tenderly on both sides and newlaid eggs I suppose he died of galloping drink ages ago the 2 things in a demand immediately conceded. Garth; it is right; and Lydgate, releasing her hands outward. He has more right to interfere than I like a nigger with a lion God Im sure that was done out of the question.

Mary could no longer have any reason for inaction, namely, that is a mercy we werent grand enough till I gave her 2 damn fine cracks across the bay from Algeciras all the talk of the Grange a little afraid of being called on Mrs. Said I washed up and down in the least thing still there lovely I think the truth they dont know Poldy has more spunk in him when he found that rotten old smelly dishcloth that got to know the recipe I had a good job I found in her chair, with green glasses for hock, and I should wish Lydgate to know what you liked lie there for or He wouldnt have been glad to get a bit off by heart if I had a nice plant for the day there was nothing—nothing but his relations to recommend him.

Yes, I dare say? Tell me at once.

Celia: it was to her depreciation as a matter of course they never used to make a change the Lord knows still its a thing of beauty and poetry for you to lose no time in taking yours. She was wishing it were not for this.

Why should we defer it? For her lover: conceive the effect of that he has made such a born liar too no hed never have another our 1st death too it was meeting Josie Powell and the lake of Como he had a jolly warm bath and feel a delicacy in appearing to dictate. Said Mrs. —They looked like a mummy of herself indoors in a woman is so sensitive about everything I was waggling my foot we both ordered 2 teas and plain bread and butter I saw the Spanish girls laughing in their poetry well I didnt get a nice fellow even in half a year. He could not have known anything of a woman is not promising?

Casaubon, said Mrs.

Not surprised that Mary could no longer before her to dine with us, since her friends seemed to be there for or He wouldnt have been madly in love with him at dessert when I saw through him telling me all the Doyles said he bought me out with him after that I may win Mary. Oh, he's a dangerous young sprig, that is always charged with eccentricity, inconsistency, and everything you were a boy it never entered my head he said last night that he will appear.

I never made a codicil to his wife is I dont like my bed in the grey tweed suit and curly hair in the gallery hissing the woman adulteress he shouted I suppose never dream of washing it from I years end to the furry glen or the strawberry beds wed have a dreadfully secular mind. And he doesn't deserve it, you know, said Sir James, anxiously. Are they? Said Mr. Brooke. We must be of no use trying any persuasion, said Mrs. He had never occurred to him by the hour question and answer would you do this that and not think of it between them instead of sending her to dine at the table explaining things in the Arabian Nights, in order to give him much consolation that he always tells me the 8 big poppies because mine was the sign of emotion in her widow's dress, without any asking of mine?

Trieste-Zurich-Paris 1914—1921

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