#;; IF ONLY THEY COULD GET OVER THEIR RIFT ISTG

[ew-headyhearts]

OHMIGODFINALLYMOREEDDSWORLDCONTENTIVEBEENSTARVEDFORSOLONG

Request from ur local Tom simp, I was so happy when u mentioned Tom and the fact he’s a bassist in a nsfw post

istg please, imagine him just practicing with Susan and his S/O randomly just spaced out onto his hands (I’m a strong believer that this fucker wears rings, I’ll fistfight you on it) and he’d notice and be a total jerk abt it, lovingly of course-

ALSO BONUS FOR THE NASTY HORNY SHIT, PLEASE IM SUCH A SIMP-

Anon… do you have any idea what you’ve done? This right here, this is my SHIT!! HIT ME RIGHT IN THE DAMN KINK. This took me way too long to write but I hope it was worth the wait. The ending is abrupt I know. I got carried away a little bit and it became more than what was requested. I might just be willing to make this a two parter... Perhaps.

Obligatory, under the cut for more. Do not read if sexual situations make you uncomfortable.

Rock Me to Sleep (Part 1)

TW: N$FW, Hand kink, mentioning of wanting to be choked, bassists reign supreme

It was late at night and the sun had long since gone down. The clock read somewhere after two o'clock in the morning. Granted, it was a bit hard to tell as you’re fighting off sleep. Blearily trying to blink away the tiredness in your eyes. There was no use trying to get sleep at this point. Even if you wanted to sleep, the house was filled with the low humming of a bass.

Your roommate, Thomas, seemed far too busy to care about your plight. In fact, more often than not, he did his best writing late at night. Or maybe he just enjoyed being a nuisance. How the other two seemed to sleep so easily when Tom was doing his nightly jam sessions, you haven’t a clue. Perhaps they’d grown so used to it over time.

Maybe you should consider taking Matt’s offer from the other night. Ear plugs would make sleeping far easier. Although, noise canceling headphones would prove extra useful.

You ponder on your decision for a while. So long in fact that you slowly begin to drift off to sleep. Just as your eyes flutter shut once more, sleep so close to sinking into every fiber of your being, you’re ripped from it so suddenly. The jarring rift Tom had started seemed to force you unceremoniously from the beginnings of a dream. Even Edd seemed furious about this. He could be heard from his own room yelling at Tom to stop for the night.

The peace that followed was brief, but still joyous. Though, it seemed Tom was only content with playing some lower cords. Was it fortunate for the others? Yes. For you however… The shared wall between both of your rooms did little to muffle the noise.

Maybe it was because you were cranky or maybe it was just the dreariness of your sleep deprived state, but you got up from bed. The moment from between you leaving the sanctity of your bedroom to the point where you were at Tom’s door was nearly nonexistent. Judging by that fact, it’s safe to say you are in some desperate need for sleep.

Tom doesn’t even bother to meet your gaze. He seemed far too caught up in playing to even notice the way your weary body held itself up by the doorframe. His face seemed clenched in concentration, eyes squeezed shut as he let his fingers drift along the fret. While his fingers danced across the strings, his other hand rested comfortably against the body. It seemed to smack lightly at the bass to some imaginary beat he was making up in his head.

You don’t even realize just how long you’re staring at this point. The tired ache of your muscles had long since been forgotten. Instead it was replaced by a new ache that settled deep inside the pit of your stomach. With a deep breath that you had been holding, you step over to the side of his bed. Had you really been breathing that shallowly this entire time?

His eyes slowly open now, finally acknowledging your presence. Though, it didn’t seem to be that bothered by it. Much to your disappointment, his fingers freeze along the fretboard. He raises a brow at you. It was a silent question, one that he’d hope he wouldn’t have to voice. You’d already interrupted his flow, and speaking would bring him further out of the headspace.

“Don’t let me stop you,” you speak, before letting your body fall down onto the opposite side of the bed. Your knees hang haphazardly over the side of the bed while you stretch out across your back.

Maybe it was just your tiredness that wanted him to keep on playing. After all, the current melody he had going was smooth and deep. One that rattled the room slightly and settled deep into your chest. At least, that's what you can tell yourself while you watch him settle back into a rhythm.

Tom didn’t seem to question you further. In fact, he seemed all too content to have a live audience to the current jam session he was having. The way his hands stretched out to each cord was almost hypnotizing. Calluses strummed at smooth metal to produce the sweet melody that filled the room. It seemed his hands had committed the cord to memory and flowed as fluidly as water.

Though, you catch your eyes lingering for far too long on his digits. You could see the way each tendon flexed with the stretch of his fingers along the fret. Or maybe, it was the way the veins seemed to pop with his current hand placement that sent a warmth into your core. Whatever the reason for your current euphoric state, there wasn’t any denying the way you ogled his ringed fingers.

Tom didn’t seem as bothered by your ogling. A smug smirk was plastered across his face and his void-like eyes were turned to look down at you. “You know… you could take a closer look,” His head tilts downwards slightly, nudging towards the guitar in his lap. It was another invitation, beckoning you to come closer and touch him. An offer you would have been foolish to refuse.

Now you really couldn’t disguise your presence as just out of tiredness. He’d fully caught you staring at his powerful hands. But, as you settled right up against him, there didn’t seem to be any judgment in his gaze. The way his muscles seemed to relax as your own fingers brush against his bare arm gave cadence to his relaxed state.

From this distance you could smell the cologne. A clean and crisp scent, dominated by sage and bergamot that tapered into a woodsy musk. Rustic, yet incredibly intoxicating.

The two of you stay like this for a while. You, with one arm tucked into his side and the other splayed out across his forearm, and Tom with his guitar tucked in his crossed lap. You could feel each movement of his muscles under his dark skin. Tom was thankful he’d long since discarded his typical blue hoodie for a gray tank top as he enjoyed the contact between you too.

Maybe he was showing off a bit. His fingers curled ever so slightly against each string as he plucked them. You could notice the faint outline of his tendons stretching against the skin each time he stretched out a digit across the fretboard. The satisfied grin on his face made it obvious, he was definitely showing off.

It seems you don’t even notice the way your hands have started playing their exploration game. One finger moves down his forearm slowly, tracing a vein down to the center of his wrist that rested against the body of the bass.

A part of you worried this position would make his playing awkward, but Tom didn’t seem to care all that much. If anything, the soft furrow of his brows gave the hint to the exact opposite. His forked tongue darted out for a split second, both sides moving along his bottom lip slowly. It seemed he was barely containing his own elicit excitement about this whole scenario.

“Pervert,” Tom chastises you, despite the way his own body seemed to react so sweetly to each touch of your skin against his own, “You’re really easy to entertain, huh?”

“Does it really bother you?” You question him in return. Though, he seemed all too quick to protest the second your body started to pull itself from his side.

“I never said that.” His hands pull away from the base of the guitar for a split second, wrapping around your waist to pull you back into him. This time your knees brushed together, and sides pressed tightly against one another. You settle your head against his shoulder, letting your hair tickle against his stubble.

“You really seem to enjoy this,” Tom noted. His gaze flitted back and forth between you and the way his fingers continued to strum. “If I’d have known you were this easy to work up, I’d have tried this a long time ago.”

You don’t even seem to register his words, too transfixed on the way his hands gripped at the neck and squeezed. He gave a knowing smirk the second he noticed the absolute dazed look you were giving him. Maybe, if you played your cards right, he’d let those hands wander around your throat. Just imagining the way the cold metal of his rings would leave little divots in your skin if he squeezed just right was enough to work you up even further.

It seemed that Tom was happy to go on like this for a while. There was only one reason he’d continued strumming a low tune, with the express purpose of working you up further. He took note of the way your breath would quicken with every little movement. It really seemed like he had you right where he wanted you. Did you want him as much as he wanted you?

The way your hands began to wander a bit further down his forearm and traced into the palm of his hand was enough to draw his attention again. Even as he tilted his head back up to meet your gaze, he continued strumming.

He was confident in his own abilities. Your hand wandering into his own didn’t prove to be any hindrance. If anything, it emboldened him to really put on a show.

“Something on your mind, baby,” Tom asked. Though it seemed less so a question, and more like an implication to your current state. The way his empty eyes fell half-lidded showed his intentions. He really was teasing you and that smug smirk wasn’t going away anytime soon.

He was entirely willing to push you even further, just to see how long it’d take for you to break. A deliciously tortuous game of hot-and-cold. Just to see who’d crack under the pressure first and give in to their desire. Tom was very confident in where he stood in this little game. You, however? Your resolve was quickly crumbling. You found yourself wanting to push just a bit further. To really explore this new desire further.

“Could I uh…” The words died in your throat as your throat was suddenly dry. Your intentions were by no means innocent and the mere thought of acting on such impulses was making your heart race. Tom arches a brow. A silent question urging you to continue. A beat passes before you do so. “Would you let me try something?”

The rift he was working on stopped suddenly. The sound was almost akin to a groan that trailed off into silence. Tom let his bass rest in his lap as he turned his full attention to you. He was intrigued by such a vague request, but his curiosity urged him to give you a nod of approval.

“What did you have in mind?” His tone was light yet impish. Tom had an idea of what you want but he’d rather play dumb. It made the buildup even sweeter when you fully shed your inhibitions and gave in to him. The excitement was overwhelming as his own mind wandered to what you might have in store.

[aeipathcy]

✏️ + eirisol !! (´｡• ω •｡`) am i too predictable? prolly- bc ofc i'd ask about them; one of the ships i'll die for tbh- (even if they are problematic lovelies) !!

MEME┊accepting.

EIRIAN X SOLANGE

As much as he puts distance between himself and her, Eirian cannot live without Sunny. If she’s not around, his head is filled with thoughts of her and wanting to see her again, and yet he seems to struggle with actually expressing how glad he is to see her whenever she is back.

He’s somewhat paranoid about her leaving without warning, so like in threads, he will be distant to prevent himself from being hurt any more than necessary. If they just communicated, the two would be much better off.

If he could write and read, Eirian would be sending her letters and cards to wherever she was travelling off to or staying. He can handle long-distance relationships—it’s a matter of giving him a means to communicate. He gets really mad if there is no way to keep in touch.

He spends a lot of time making sweets, yes, but sometimes he finds himself making things he wants Sunny to try. To be honest, he’s been guilty of purposely putting too much whipped cream on his sweets just so he has the chance to wipe said cream off her cheek or lips for a romantic moment.

Indirect kisses with these two are everywhere. Remember how he’d often stuff whatever sweet he was munching on into her mouth? Yeah, he still will do that after they start dating. In fact, he’ll do that a lot more. He won’t comment on it until the exact wrong moment on purpose.

He adores gently pinching her cheeks and poking them. As we know, he also loves teasing her and playing stupid for the sole purpose of teasing her. He can’t help but find her blushing face to be super adorable, okay.

If her hands are cold, he will take her hand and hold it without question. Just... don’t expect him to give up his warm outer layer whatever it may be at the time.

Sharing scarves and blankets—

Cuddling under the sheets together at night. Sharing stories of Sunny’s travels or Eirian’s little daily events, only to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

[ralfstrashcan]

3x22 Reaction / Commentary

Fair warning: Despite all feelings of nostalgia and melancholy with this being the last episode and all, this contains the usual amount of salt. Just, consider yourself warned XD

Impressive. Quick question though, why didn't Lilith pull this neat trick before going to Magnus and begging for an opening in the rift? We'll never know. Possibly because she's dumb.

Why would he give away his element of surprise with that stupid roar? Wtf man.

Istg if they kill Meliorn off just after I fell in love with him last episode imma riot so hard. Wtf.

1) Jeliorn Shipper: It's not actually clear who he's addressing XD 2) Am I the only one who feels like Meliorn's feelings for Izzy skyrocketed after they broke off their little mutually beneficial arrangement?? Because I sure do. Very convenient for the plot too.

This is both hilarious and infuriating XD

Boo Team Warlock. They can see that Meliorn is lying on the ground, obviously wounded, and all they do is stand around. Why do they all suck at first aid?? I mean, man down! What more do you need to know wtf.

Also what is that? Lorenzo actually being helpful? Wtf haha. Btw I made up my mind, he's lost bits of his character along the way. I don't like it. He's suddenly supposed to be a good lizard baby? Sure. *scoff*

I like that bit where Lorenzo and Magnus pool magic for a more effective attack but I'm doubtful they're perfectly synchronized since they never fought together. Or is this like a standard warlock fight maneuver? Are those a thing? I need answers.

Lilith shooting her fancy fire spit ball five meters to the left is both an overused cliché and ridiculous.

THIS is their plan of attack? They're all gonna die haha.

Script: Close up of female shoes with heels so everyone knows this is a woman.

RIDICULOUS

So did I understand that correctly? Lilith flew right into the line of literal fire? Whyyyy?

RIDICULOUS PLASTIC EYE IS RIDICULOUS

Wtf why isn't Lorenzo loudly objecting??

That circle reminds me of Guardians of the Galaxy in the worst way. Wow. I can't believe I just watched this. Wtf this was so bad *weeping* Btw note, considerate CGI flames only burn on torso and arms not on legs. Riiiight.

...................................................................what.

I mean, yay. All shadowhunters are jobless now. Guess all problems are solved. We just have an entire (slightly racist) race on our hands that's out of an occupation and also, militry. Those things don't mix well. Wtf. I cannot. comprehend. Wtf.

Also wtf. This was supposed to be the boss fight. And they finished it without a plan with one player literally before the opening?? UHHHH???

But, anyway. I guess I should be glad Alec didn't have to make good on his promise of living in Edom with Magnus, because as @intezaarlily so hilariously pointed out

The Alliance rune was temporary and wore off in like 5 hours, and Nephilim can’t survive in Edom because of their blood once the rune wears off, but Alec says he’ll spend the rest of his life with Magnus in Edom … I mean, I love the romantic sentiment! But that will be a very short life.

XD XD XD

Uhhhh yeah, the fact that Sizzy get a sex scene (ugh, could have done without that honestly) Clace get cute cuddling and Malec get................ lying five feet apart even though THEY ARE LEGIT A MARRIED COUPLE WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

Honestly, I mostly skirt the negativity that surrounds the issue of how Malec always get shitty kisses and intimacy etc. But this is ridiculous. RI-DIC-U-LOUS. At this point, who knows if they'll even kiss at their wedding? We'll be lucky if they hold hands. Honestly. WTF.

Yeah agree to disagree. I'm not even sorry for my extra salt. Wtf. Still hung up on Malec. At least Izzy's runes glitter prettily in the morning light.

“I mean like relationships. Everyone that I've been in has magnificently imploded like the Death Star.”

SIGH. This is clearly not true. He stayed good friends with his exes (Clary, Maia) so that's a lie. And Saia was working out really well until the series needed it to stop, so it's not like he's inept. So either he's exaggerating because he's hella unreflected or he says that to get some pity from Izzy, either way I hate it.

Uuhhhh Izzy, you were never interested in having a relationship. That's not the same as screwing up a relationship wtf.

...............Does the show want to tell me Magnus is left-handed or what. Wow.

I

hadn't

noticed.

I guess Canon wants to use this last opportunity to tell us that Magnus is ambidextrous *shrug*

Also why the hell did Lorenzo give them back the loft? Oh right, he's a Good Lizard Baby now. The heck.

Anyway I did a very thorough reaction to this sneak peek scene already for a private correspondence, so enjoy ahaha ;)

- Me being deprived of Malec Morning Cuddles (and LittleSpoon!Alec) is unfair and I'm Not Over It.

+ Magnus excitedly writing their wedding invitation though <3<3<3

- Cheek kiss wtf man where are my REAL morning smooches WTF

+ CHEEK KISS SO CUTE OMG MAGNUS'S FACCEEEEEEEE I CANNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

+ MAGNUS'S FRAKKING FACE WHEN HE GIVES ALEC THE INVITATION SCRIPT THINGY, RAISED EYE BROW AND THAT LIP THING HE DOES, LIKE IN THE TRAINING SCENE HAHAHAHA I LOVE

+ MAGNUS'S FACE AS ALEC READS THE INVITATION OUTTTT

+ A L E C S  FACE AT “TONIGHT” LIKE OMG HE LOOKS LIKE HE JUST HAD A LOBOTOMY HAHAHAHAHA I CANNOT

~ Okay I am conflicted about this. While I can buy both, Magnus wanting to move ahead and Alec wanting to plan (because I think it fits them both in terms of being in character) in this particular matter I kinda headcanon the reverse: Alec not able to wait another minute to Lock Magnus Down and Magnus wanting everything to be absolutely perfect and losing himself in planning.

That being said, Magus being like “Gotta get married while we still can and there's not a disaster on the horizon” is.... idk, isn't that kind of sad? He's all about cherishing things in life so you can remember them. And stumbling through his MARRIAGE, with must mean a real real lot to him, being his first in all his 400/800 years, that's... not really uplifting? He deserves better than that.

+ Magnus's clap tho at “location” XD XD XD

+ ALEC'S FACE AT TAJ MAHAL HAHAHA HIS FROWNY MOUTH

~ Quick question, how the hell does Magnus want to hold a whole ass marriage ceremony at a public mundane place?? With glamor? Without? Sounds like an unrealistic mess either way

+ “THE INSTITUTE” I CAN'T MAGNUS AND ALEC KILL IT BOTH WITH THIS WTF HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I CANT

- Alec's reasoning. Honestly, I don't like it that much. Don't get me wrong, Alec being aware of the political dimension and liking it is 100% ic. But. This is their wedding. Their. Wedding. They do everything else for others, for their people and for the mundanes and the frikking world as a whole (3x20 being a prime example, basically screwing their personal happines to hell and back (pun intended) to close the rift saved the world because those wraiths wouldn't have stopped after Alicante let's be real). And their wedding, this should be just for them. How they like it, how they envision and how they've always dreamed about it. It shouldn't be held so others can benefit from it.

I want the wedding to be at the Instutite. In my mind no other venue even comes into question. But I would have loved if the motivation was differently nuanced. If Alec would have said that he's imagined it there, because yeah, Magnus's loft is his home and his heart, but the Institute must hold sentimental value for him, too. He grew up there. It's basically all he's known his whole life up to like three months ago. It's the embodiment of him being a shadowhunter and he loves being a shadowhunter, it's his identity. And Alec is a traditional guy. He wants his classical shadowhunter wedding and those are held at an Institute. He must have envisioned this after he started dating Magnus: exchanging vows in a ceremony held by a silent brother and with their wedding jewelry, in the chapel of the Institute, simply because this is the only marriage proceedure he's ever known.

Pissing off the clave, or rather, having the clave begrudingly accept him with his true self presented to the world should be a welcome byproduct, but not the main motivation.

From Magnus I would buy this line of reasoning sooner than from Alec because Magnus has hated the clave and its injustice since forever, has suffered far harsher under them than Alec, so he has a lot more personal interest to stick it to the clave than Alec, who, sorry, literally discovered their falseness three months ago. But then again, I don't think thoughts like that would be on the forefront of Magnus's mind and so it makes sense Alec would be the one to bring up this aspect. I just don't like how it was nuanced.

In any case, rewatching that scene I'm amazed at the amount of time Alec flounders before catching Magnus's attention, it's hilarious to watch XD

+ MAGNUS'S CONSIDERING POUT THOUGH WTF MAN WHO ALLOWED THIS

Another missing scene waiting to be written, of Magnus wearing a tux around Alec (and Alec drooling over him lol).

“It's just... all these hundreds of years... I can't believe you've never been married.”

Yeah, dito. How about you expand a little more on your personal stance on marriage, Magnus?? It's for science.

NOT ANYMORE APPARENTLY WTF CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE PLEASE

1) Wow this was quick 2) Uh-huh, guess that's why they mentioned them before this episode, oh, never.

1) Then ralf would quit watching this show and who would make dumb comics then? 2) Lol I guess her poor ex warlock boy toy got dumped

HAHAHAHA THE WAY HE DELIVERS THAT LINE I CAN'T XD XD XD

TMI bro

Good. At least he's not completely delusional then.

Gal you said “focus” like once, that's not a lesson wtf.

Yeah, creepy creepy feelings.

But this is actually interesting since she can't lie, and she says in no uncertain terms that she wants to split her power with him, or at least the rule over earth. Buf if she's so afraid of him she even wants to rule beside him and relinquish part of her might, then I don't get why she didn't just kill him off when he was in his cocoon. Why risk making an enemy of him? Makes no sense. (Except that this would have been anticlimactic lol.) Also my question of what happened to Lucifer still stands.

Uhhhh apparently they just slept together, turning into a child is majorly creepy wtf dude. Also, where does her changed wardrobe come from? Absorbing clothes during a transformation is a skill werewolves would pay real money for, I can tell you. Market niche. Patent while you still can.

..................really? *sigh*

#vulnerability #abandonment issues #give jace wayland (or whatever you want to call him) a hug dammit

Finally, happy parabatai. What a sight for sore eyes.

Biting back more Sizzy salt, wow I'm impressed at myself.

HOW ABOUT YOU BOTH FRAKKING SAY THAT ABOUT MAGNUS WTF

(Btw the German Dubbing: “I was just thinking of asking you that!” lol as if the thought had crossed Izzy's mind in that exact second, making that whole thing even more ridiculous.)

Anyway.

“You know, I always thought I never needed a parabatai, that I was at my best when I was on my own.”

No that was because you disliked the weird codependency it produces. And it's fine if you change your mind on that and decide that the benefits outweight that, but please don't do it offscreen during an action screen but like, throughout a whole season? Consider sharing a thought or two about that fundamental change in your world view with the audience? Otherwise people (me) can just laugh their ass of at how ridiculous and ooc this is. Wtf. WtF. Then again she literally changed her stance on relationships in like a week and her stance on Simon in half a day, so I guess it's kind of consistent?? *snort*

There's a joke about missing hair in here somewhere. These poor, poor men. They were ROBBED. (And so were we XD)

Since when can Clary order around the Head of Security?? (Also look at her manic face in this shot ahahaha. Was that deliberate on my part?? You can't prove a thing!!)

Also Luke missing Alec's wedding again is history repeating itself.

IMMORTALITY RUNE ON THE RUN!! EVERYBODY DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND CATCH IT!!!

Clary, gal, if you keep slinking after the rune like that you'll never catch it. Srsly. And you wonder why you lose track of it all the time? Move your butt, man!!!

WOW GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT EVER. Can I skip this scene? Please?

Wow that was less painful than expected

Oh damn I knew this was too easy.

Btw apparently they have styling opportunities wherever Jocelyn's soul went after her death, because the clothes she wore when she went west

and the ones she's wearing now are similar, but decidedly not the same.

“Btw we'll talk about that creepy ass behavior later, and no supper for you tonight young lady!!”

Uh-huh, and what, pray tell, is Jocelyn? A zombie?? Just wondering.

These so-called “angels” are racists and you can quote me on that.

HAHAHA YEAH EXACTLY, SO RIDICULOUS AMIRIGHT

I mean. “Never draw another new rune or we'll take away your ability to create runes” basically translates to me “You have one last shot.” Right?

(Premonition!Ralf: ..........................you know nothing, Past Ralf.)

HAHAHAH SO FRAKKIN EXTRA I LOVE HIM

I think the white one is the prettiest <3<3<3 And now I wanna eat cake. Dammit.

LISTEN I KNOW HE SAYS THAT TO BE SASSY BUT!!!!! WHAT WAS MAGNUS GONNA EAT FOR THE REST OF ETERNITY???? ROASTED SHAX DEMON DRUMSTICKS??????? I NEED ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!!

This “beauty” clearly is from his mansion, so he obviously only says this to gloat. What a tool. Or is this like, a different size? And he has the same three pictures of himself plastered over all his homes, but in different sizes??

LOL this feels like splitting household goods with an ex. And they didn't even date (uagh the mental image *shudder*)

Mostly for each other, but continue.

Also, is this Lorenzo's formal request to be adopted into that weird ass Protagonist!Family? Because loooool the position of sassy shady uncle is still vacant. I'm sure Peter Hale will teach him some tricks.

Don't get me wrong, I like the scene itself but...... what happend to the evil lizard baby? It seems that just like Maryse he got a character makeover between one scene and the next. This change of heart comes out of frakkin nowhere. He goes from “good riddance magnus i hate your guts” to “pls love me” in literally half a day. And I don't like that. Wtf.

Also, another thing: Why do they always imply warlocks are completely unable to find a lasting relationship / family / even some level of happiness that isn't “sitting in my plush villa and drinking overpriced alcohol”? As if all warlocks are inapt. Tf.

I mean, he's been showing that through absence, but I guess that's more because of the same reasons that persistently keep Catarina from showing her face than him actually not caring about his kids, there's no real grounds for this level of desinterest in Show!Robert's character. But anyway, I like the sentiment, that conflicts between the parents don't necessarily inevitably destroy the relationships between one parent and the children. And Maryse was always good at compartmentalizing things, so this is very fitting.

Wow I had really hoped I wouldn't have to see this particular face again. Guess we can't always get what we want *sigh* also what's the shit with those glasses? *snort*

Also, I mean, I'm by no means an expert, but even I know that you don't actually store a bow with the string attached? You unclip it so it doesn't wear out? But whatever, what do I know about angelic weaponry, right.

Wtf he was cleared for missions seasons ago. Did they forget? Apparently? Ugh but I don't care so, moving on.

“You'll be save on this balcony.”

*SIGH* Honestly I'm wondering what they even learn at their dumb Shadowhunter Academy. Since common sense, first aid, and make sure your frikkin enemy is dead by slitting their throat and !never! turn your back on them are obviously not on the curriculum. SMH.

Ngl though, good riddance on the Max front XD

Guess I cheered too early. You had one job, Jonathan. One. Job.

HAHAHAHA HONESTLY HAHAHA THE GUY NEXT TO HER FALLS AND SHE DOESN'T EVEN TWITCH, JUST KEEPS RECORDING LOOOL

Btw all the people running away, they're screaming their heads off but they're not really like, running? They're barely even jogging lol it's so funny XD

Let me just....

Yes. This.

Also that whole “I've never been to Toronto” totally clashes with Izzy asking Clary literally three minutes earlier if she can open her a portal to Los Angeles. I mean, they don't even try and pretend that their portal travel is consistent anymore. Sigh.

I mean. He. Hehehe.

Amazing that Magnus has been in this exact street in his exact spot. Luck-y.

Same, Jonathan. Same.

Wow she's smart trying the spite approach to get Jonathan to want to prove her wrong.

.....or not. Wtf Clary. You had him. Even after all this, you could have salvaged this. But there's just No Happy Ending for Jonathan. It's so unfair. Rest in peace, my poor misunderstood murderous incest baby.

Also

Wing Rune? Death via Crushing Wing Hug??

Btw if the runes are gifts from the angels and they don't approve of her use then why do they keep sending them to her?? Just, don't? Problem solved? No need for a Jocelyn!Scolding?

Edit: As a smart person pointed out to me Clary's ability to create runes isn't a direct gift from the angels that they gave her specifically, it's a result of Valentine's neat experiments. But then I wonder a) why the angels even allowed those blasphemous experiments in the first place (since apparently they can long-distance-derune people no problem, then I guess they could have stopped Valentine too?) and b) if they have the power to long-distance-derune people and they have the power to form some sort of resistance against Clary inventing runes..... how does that add up? Why the heck can't they forge a resistance strong enough against Clary's attempts to create a specific rune? It makes no sense. You can't be ridiculously powerful in one rune-aspect and ridiculously weak in one other rune-aspect. Either the angel has power over the runes (since they were a gift from him) or he doesn't. But this is rubbish. Or, y'know, plot convenience. Ugh.

Buhuu, they didn't use the stupid ass angelic rune ever so whatever. Until Raziel doesn't come down and exchanges her spinal marrow I'm writing this off as Consequenceless Dramatics.

Malec Wedding Ceremony. Phew. Originally I thought I'd keep this short but I changed my mind. Since this is my last reaction post I might as well go all out (with the salt, among other things), so. Here we go.

Music choice and the general everything-is-muffled-under-the-song was absolutely wonderful. I really love that song and it's very Malec-y.

UGH

AWWW WOULD YOU LOOK WHO DEIGNED TO SHOW UP

The suit suits him (ahahahaha I'm so sorry) but I'm kinda bummed he's not wearing Shadowhunter Gold?! I mean?!

Whoever that is, she has kickass hair and I love it, and I kept looking for her in the background the whole time. To some success I might add.

Yeah please show me Lorenzo's face instead of, idk, Jace's wtf haha. Also who invited Meliorn.

Is it even a real wedding ceremony when the groom is already wearing his ring??

U G H

Cat should have been the one to give Magnus away. Maryse could have given Alec away if she must (honestly, it should have been Jace, not Robert or Maryse, but whatever). But Maryse giving Magnus away? The Fuck? She HATED him two months ago. She literally gave up on him after he SAVED ALL THEIR ASSES AND WAS STUCK IN EDOM after like half a day. Also I kind hate her ridiculous redemption. But sure, have Cat, his best friend for centuries, stand on the sidelines and only show her face for a second. Frikkin Madzie had more screen time than Cat wtf. I hate that Shadowhunters infiltrate every aspect of Magnus's life and force his Downworlder friends out of it. That's the real oppression wtf. I'm so angry at this. The frikkin audacity.

Awww, the other half second of Cat's screen time. Let me fawn over it. I love her dress, especially the arms, the necklace is a bit much but she rocks it anyway, I love her hairdo and her smile is the sweetest.

*cough*

Ngl I laughed my ass off at this. Because, y'know, communication. Is totally their thing, isn't it. They're so good at it. This is sarcastic in case you can't tell.

I really really loved this line though.

HAHAHA I LOST IT. I mean, I found their interlaced speaking ridiculous already, but this?? PFFFF HAHAHA. No. Just, no. But I guess the one good thing I can take away from this is that since they both say their “always” together it is in fact the same “always” so thanks for more Immortal Alec Foreshadowing.

Whoa those are a lot of candles. I approve. Lexa does, too.

Magnus throwing confetti is too cute for this world.

And then they just.... leave? Am I the only one finding that weird???? This was so short? Where are they going?? lol????

Okay, apparently Clary's runes are all gonna disappear. Uh. Okay. I don't see where this makes sense, but anyway. Her acting in these last moments was absolutely awesome.

I really love that Magnus and Raphael got the scene together that they deserved. I just enjoy that Downworlder Dad Magnus and Grumpy Son Raphael aren't treated as a Plot Devices and only interact when some Stupid Plotline requires it, but outside of it too. It's so refreshing.

Ralf: “Oh God please spare me.”

........not my lucky day apparently.

Hahahaha love ya.

DAMN RIGHT

Jace and Maryse dancing in the background tho. Cute.

BTW wtf, I didn't undestand Annoying!Ghost!Jocelyn in the way that Clary was gonna die. Just, she wouldn't have her fancy rune powers anymore. And okay, apparently she won't have any rune powers but... uh, death? That's a whole different dimension we're talking here. And why tf can't anyone be precise on this show for once wtf!

1) Helen is valid and for probably the first time in her life said something smart. 2) They started dating 3 days ago, wtf gals, I mean I heard of the u-haul cliché but honestly wtf. lol.

Ralf: *hits pause* NO. Kay, in the same room as Ralf, fully aware that the latter is watching the last half of 3x22 with the Malec Wedding (with headphones, I'm considerate and don't want to spoiler my sister): What is it? Are they adopting a child? Ralf: No, WORSE. Kay: Are they pregnant?? Ralf: NOOOOOOO Kay: Tell me. Ralf: ........no. I want to see the look on your face when you see this.

You had one job dude. One job. And you failed.

Ralf: I'm going to be sick.

Honestly. WTF. Sorry, but Lorenzo is probably the un-gayest character on this show. Wtf. No. I refuse. I also refuse to believe that anyone looks at Lorenzo's self-important pompous ass and thinks hnnnngh relationship material. Or worse, one-night stand material. No! No! Punching bag material! Sleek antagonist material! That's all he is dammit!!

I REALLY AM GOING TO BE SICK WTF. UGH NO. NOOO WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE (aka screen writers) WHO THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA. And also, can I give the biggest anti-compliment to the Max actor for the absolutely shitty delivery of this line? It's as if he's as dead inside as I am, because he says this as if he honestly couldn't give a single shit about Magnus and just ??????????????? wtf

Yeah, that one time she glanced at him in the Ops Center really gave it away. What the actual ffkk. Alec was preoccupied with other things then, wtf, he wouldn't even notice that on a good day. Sorry, show, but less is more sometimes. Not everyone needs a frikkin significant other and this is just ridiculous. What's next, Max and Madzie? UGH.

Lol this would be less ridic if apart from 1x05 this wasn't their first interaction.

NO NO NO NO!!!!!! I hate that I can't stop scanning the background for them! It's like the countdown on a bomb, you can't look away even though you know you should just turn and run. WTF. NO.

bitch what's alec been doing his whole life huh huh huh????

“Every single cell in my body loves you. And when those cells die and new ones are born those cells love you even more. So Jace, no matter what happens, my love for you will never die.”

Ridiculous Shadowhunter Biology Knowledge striking but I'll let it slide because that was really sweet.

Also ahahaha shouldn't that rune be gone already???

Shadowhunter #1 in the Background: *biting back a sob* I'm so crushed I wasn't invited to Malec's wedding and saddled with active duty instead. Shadowhunter #2 in the Background: *wiping away tears* Yeah, me too.... What did we ever do to deserve this </////////3

Again, how did she understand that from the weird AF scolding??? TF.

Uh, yeah, blatant contradiction, whatever. Btw since I know how that goes in the books (for Simon) I'm really wondering if they're gonna pull the same thing for Clary now. (Ugh.)

Also, following both a hint and innate curiosity I paused on the letter that Clary supposedly actually wrote AND WTF HAHAHAHA. I CAN'T.

Dear Jace, forgive me for leaving all of a sudden. I came to the realization that it's time for me to move on. I don't know what is motivating me to take this action but I must act on my feelings. From the first day we met we had a connection from ??? my introduction to the Shadow Hunters World. Alec, Simon, Izzy, the institute and all of the Shadow Hunters opened up skills and experiences that I could never imagine I had. You and I spent many years together and have experienced many adventures together which I will never forget. Many times over they have put our lives at risk but we have always managed to survive in the end. You have saved my life on many occasions (screen end, but I guess sth like “you have looked”) after me and taken care of me (same, “which I'll never”) forget. Your love for me I will always (“treasure”?) May our Shadows meet again, Love Clary

WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL HAHAHAHAHA WTF

........................I paused here and I was this tempted to just, stop watching. Honestly, Shadowhunters, what have you done to me. Making me honestly consider to ditch the last ten minutes of a show that I dearly, dearly love. Wtf. I just, I can't. Wow.

Where's the beard, Luke. It's been “a year” so uh you've had time to grow it back.

1) Magnus “left handed” Bane again writing with his right hand. Mysterious. 2) Honestly I kinda spaced out on this scene after this shot because those blue smears? I was so SURE those would be fingerpaint clumsily smeared on Magnus by Malec's Baby of Horrors. I was so focused on there being any hints of them having adopted a baby already, dreaded anguish kinda making it impossible to taking in anything else. The only thing I really noticed is that they moved with their whole ass loft and I love that.

Honestly, this and the “High Warlock of Alicante” are the only two acceptable things about this whole terrible fever haze dream I have entered. Not that “High Warlock of Alicante” makes any sense. It just has a nice ring to it, that's all. I really can't put into words how ridiculous and, yeah, almost offensive I find it that they actually pretend that blatant racism can be wiped out of the minds of people in the matter of a single year. Sure. The whole Clave changed their racist beliefs and Alec skipped from being a mere Head of an Insitute over being a Clave Envoy to being an Inquisitor (which doesn't even make sense, since an Inquisitor seems to be going from Institute to Insitute and acting as a judge for Shadowhunters on trial, not negotiating how the Clave treats Downworlders). And which warlocks exactly does Magnus represent in Alicante? It makes no sense for the Clave to allow Downworlders to just, randomly live there? And that's got nothing to do with discrimination, that's just logic if you run a military organization: You don't allow civilians to mingle. They don't belong in the Ops Center of an organization they have no part in? I'm all for Downworlders being allowed to participate in legislative etc. but living in Alicante (as more than the significant other of a Shadowhunter) makes no sense. And sorry, I don't believe that in one year there formed SO MANY Shadowhunter/Warlock relationships that SO MANY warlocks moved to Alicante that they need a HIGH WARLOCK for representation. There's SO MUCH wrong with all of this that I have no choice but to move on.

Hmmmm it only took Maia one (1) year to realize that carefully painting over blood splatters with yellow (and not even removing pictures while doing so) isn't in fact enough to cover them up and she needs to get a completely new paintjob, prefereably in a dark color.

Okay that made me laugh at least.

*rolls eyes so hard* And again with the pointless coupling up of characters. Are singles even a thing in this world? Apparently not. *SIGH*

“The Drevak Demons in Long Island?” “The hunt continues.” “Don't stop until they're gone. Is that clear?”

As much as I love Izzy, I'm not sure this dialogue really assures me of her competence as Head? I mean? “The demons are not dead yet? Kill them until they are, understood? And don’t argue with me on that, I’m super serious!!” It's not as if this isn't literally all that Shadowhunters do all day. I just don't see Izzy working a desk job. She's meant to be out in the field, slaying demons and cracking jokes and her whip while doing that. Sorry, but that's just how it is.

I could even tolerate that Sizzy scene because I was sooooo relieved Underhill didn't mention having a significant other or anything of the sort. Dodged a frakkin bullet there.

Edit: Nope, no, I can't. It's been two weeks and I have regained enough of my strength to be salty about Sizzy. But let me keep it to a minimum because time. 1) Simon not wanting to kiss Izzy in the hall is ridiculous, as if it hasn't been common knowledge since before that whole Downworlder Deputy Stuff started that they are a thing. So obviously this was just to pepper in the fact that he is in fact one of the Downworlder Deputies, whatever that should mean.

2) Nice to know that Simon continues to exploit his girlfriend's authority. Some things never change I guess, first with Saia and now with Sizzy. 3) I just find it ridiculous that while Simon wasn't able to keep a relationship running for more than two weeks before, suddenly this one works out a whole year without a hitch. Oh right, this was The Endgame Pairing, the other's weren't. *sigh*

<3<3<3<3<3 The Jimon Friendship we deserve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT TO SEE, NOT WHATEVER THAT OTHER NIGHTMARISH STUFF WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Uh-huh, and what was Simon doing, exactly? Oh right.

Anyway.

I mean, as much as I love this dynamic and the fact that Jace managed to form a friendship with Simon who he kinda hated / pitied before, and as much as I love this scene itself..... the implications for Jalec are terrible. Jace is obviously not coping. At All. He's one wrong word from having tears running from his eyes in any given situation. And Alec just, effs off to Alicante to sip martinis with Magnus? Thank you for nothing, Alec. Wtf. I'd like some details on when exactly he decided to leave his parabatai alone in New York with all his heartbreak.

A toned down version of events would have been better. Alec still being Head of the Insitute, fighting tooth and nail against the Clave to implement Downworlder Involvement on more levels. Magnus being the High Warlock of Brookyln (because obviously Lorenzo got sacked for misconduct, come on). Simon and Jace growing closer over the shared devastating loss of Clary. Izzy slaying demons like a Queen. Underhill being single.

We could have had it all.

“You know, I pray every day, every day to the angels that they will see that our love is stronger than their spite.”

Lol Jace I'm not sure that's the way to phrase a prayer you want heard.

Okay, I'm gonna need several explanations here, ranked by importance:

1) WHY THAT HAIRCUT WTF

2) How exactly did Clary go from “complete memory loss, homeless, no money, no family, no friends, no nothing, literally just the clothes on her back” to “well-adjusted human being attending school, being super successful with her art, having an appartment and an astounding lack of depression” in a year?

????? ???????? ???????????????

???????

3) I really don't know a lot about either fashion or art, but both differ greatly from what we've seen from Clary so far. Neither her clothes match what she used to wear, nor her art style. She never drew abstract things. It was always portraits of people, or very detailed and realistic looking buildings / demons / sigils. So this doesn't really make sense either. I don't think they intended this to be the opening of a profound philosophical discussion on how much of your personality is laid down in your DNA and how much is just environment and experiences shaping you, so I really REALLY wonder why the f they did that, instead of having Clary draw Shadow World related stuff like before, when Magnus had her memories locked away.

Love the throwback. Also love Jace's reaction of running away, it's so relatable in this situation of utter emotional overload.

Okay, the end. I'm trying my best to end this on a slightly positive note okay, because otherwise I'll just make myself sad. First off, I HATE open endings with a passion, so this left me enraged. Second off, I can't believe the Clace Shippers were left with this as the last scene of their OTP. I kind of get it from a meta stance, they wanted there to be a point of contact for a possible pick-up, but still. They didn't even kiss. They didn't even have clarity what exactly Clary remembers. I hate it! Third off, how ridiculous is it that after a year Clary randomly remembers? Uhh? Why does the angel's punishment suddenly not work anymore? “Because love conquers all” etc. Uh-huh. Then why did it take a frakkin year? Huh, Jace?! If this had been the first time Clary and Jace see each other again, fine, I would have bought it. But “random” is such an unsatisfying explanation. Just, don't. So if you'll excuse me, I'll happily pretend none of this happened. Or it happened one month later, not a year wtf. Or I'll just follow through on my rewrite and rectify all the things I didn't like about these last two episodes.

And now that all the rage is out of the way, the good things. I loved both of Clary and Jace's acting in this scene (which lolllll I specifically point out because mostly in their couple scenes one of them fails XD). The careful way Clary touches Jace's rune and the way he almost flinches back, too raw for it, but also his vulnerable helpless smile, and how Clary smiles back. I also really liked the song. And the final shot, of the camera pulling away and into the nightsky, that was nice. It felt like an ending, so at least that gave me some closure.

I love this show. Even with all its infuriating plot holes and ooc-ness. It means a lot to me. It has inspired me to write fic like no other fandom. I plan to stick around for a long time to come, with both fics and tumblr posts. I'll rewatch episodes, obsess over details and grumble about shit I disliked because that's just what I do. It's how I show my appreciation. I guess what I'm trying to say is

Thank you

[ralfstrashcan]

3x19 Reaction / Commentary

I didn't even skip breakfast today, it's almost as if I'm a real functioning adult ahahaha.

SDFALFJSKLDFJASDF I'M ALREADY A MESS

Ngl those first few shots made me think I had fallen headfirst into a zombie apocalypse movie. Wind swooshing through the speakers, no living soul in sight, no cars driving, just Magnus walking along the street, on the Boulevard of Broken Dreams hahahahaha sorry I'll stop.

Wow what a jerk.

There's been so many hilarious jokes about the “What fool summoned you” line, and my favorite one will forever remain this.

So, points to Magnus for asking, minus points for buying this shit not-sound-at-all story. Even “fatherly love” can't just screw the laws of nature, okay, Magnus shouldn't just skim over this. Then again I can definitely cut him slack on this because he is a little preoccupied with other problems at the moment.

Listen, Magnus's body language throughout this whole scene (and also throughout the sneak peek we saw for 3x20) is so expressive. Imma skim over it because I plan to do a thorough Relationship / Scene Analysis for Magnus and Asmodeus, so let me just leave this picture here uncommented.

No wait, I have a question. Isn't Magnus's magic occupied with guarding Lilith's home? Did Asmodeus pick it up before summoning himself or did he call it just now? Also, does Asmodeus know that Lilith is on the loose? Then again, is she even? Because no Shadowhunter can be bothered to look for her and she did say that she wanted to go back to Edom... but that was probably a lie to get Cain to cooperate. And how could she even send herself back to Edom? So many questions. Anyway moving on because who cares about Lilith.

Magnus's face when he gets his magic back. ....................yes I have no witty words here, sorry.

Lol okay I have. I love this scene, I absolutely LOVE Magnus's face and how expressive it is, but I've also been dreaming of an epic eye-sparkling, energy-crackling mid-battle-scene where Magnus regains his magic for uhhhh almost a year now, and in terms of dramatic-ness this was pretty anti-climactic. And I think we can agree he won't lose his magic again and then get it back in a more dramatic fashion. Also where are his cat eyes I feel cheated.

I mean, come on, even he gets to show them!! Btw what a dick cunning move to use them to manipulate Magnus. Since they made a compelling argument the first time around.

Also LOL Asmodeus playing nice for one second and when Magnus denies him he immediately shows his hand with “I won't take no for an answer.” Man has no patience XD

Finally I wanna give a huge HUGE shout out to Magnus for resisting Asmodeus becuase can you even imagine how low he must be feeling and yet he has enough presence of mind left to realize that whatever comfort Asmodeus offers can't be true, there must be a hook and it's best to stay away. Dude what strength.

“I only lost sight of her for a minute.” “Enough time for the Evil Rune to have taken hold.”

Uuuhhhh since when?? Did they also go to the bathroom together before?? Did I miss that?? I mean, sure, Clary was drifting sometimes, but she spent a whole half episode in the same cell as Jonathan with Jace “away” behind the glass wall and out of her sight, so...... yeah. This is a little sudden.

She keeps saying that but we have yet to see her actually filter anything. #nofilter

“No one can hurt us if we get to Morning Star first. And once we have that sword the entire world will be terrified of us....”

So he wants that evil sword not to open a rift but to keep the NY Shadowhunters off his back so he can live his life in peace. I-n-t-e-r-e-s-t-i-n-g.

Yes, good. Finally learned your lesson.

.............Or not??? I mean it's not like Clary pretended to be on his side before, to lull him into a false security and gain the upper hand. Why would he fall for it now? Because he acts like Jace is the only risk factor here, and Clary is of course truly and wholly on his side. I mean, true, the circumstances are different since she freed him and all, but like. Guy must have trust issues by now. Where are they.

Also

he should start a self help group with Alec hahahahahaha *weeping*

Me, waiting for the next episode of Shadowhunters. (Also I just noticed Simon says “me neither” not “mine neither” so it sounds as if he's not Izzy's thing, either and LOL I couldn't agree more ahahaha.)

Uh-huh, I agree. Perfect timing. I mean, it's not like there was a glaring 98% there earlier, and as if he didn't have plenty of time before to bring this unfortunate line of conversation up. This is on you, Simon. Don't blame the filtering.

HAHAHA ASK ALEC, HE'S GOING TO THROW IT AT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHA

Seriously though. Just, uh, crush it into powder, add some saline solution, done. And I'm not even a scientist. This is intuitive. The heck.

I'm 1000000% on board with all of this, okay. Over excited Alec is the best Alec. Handholding is the best. Magnus's weariness of surprises is headcanon confirmed. Yes to all of it.

So there were a few lines that were widely interpreted as allusions to their kinky sex life and tbh I never bought any of it because I thought it was seeing too much where there was nothing, but this is so very obviously meant in a kinky way that I'll accept it. Another headcanon confirmed ahahaha this episode is so generous to me.

Ugh I'm so gonna have to write something about that. And knowing myself, it'll be sad closeted Alec daydreaming of all the things he can never have.

Question time, what are those weird rivets thingies? Do they hold any meaning? Is their placement of importance? Because they look very deliberate and very there. I'm confused.

Also, this scene was designed to drive me crazy. There's 7 different shots where we see the lock's placement and there are no less than 3 (!!!!!) different placements. Placement #1, #3 and #5 are consistent (though really, #1 and #5 shouldn't even count because they are clearly the same shot, just with Magnus's hand reaching for the lock) on the left side of the yellow lock, to the bottom left of the Dips lock.

Then we see Alec placing it in an empty compartment at the very edge of the construction (placement #2), only for it to be on the compartment below that in the next shot (placement #4), sharing space with a little gray-blueish lock. This is the same place from where Magnus removes it then (placement #6).

I hate inconsistencies, okay, and I really did notice all this the first time watching. I can't not-see stuff like this. The only fun that comes out this detail obsessiveness is the lock that clearly ships Captain America and Captain Marvel (left) and the lock that was placed from two years in the future (right) because ahahahaha did the show forget it takes place in 2016?? It would seem so.

And yes, I chose to focus on this instead of the fact that Magnus incinerates their lock because that hurts my heart too much to think about, okay. That scene was perfect, the music swelling in all the right places and just. So heart-wrenching. I might've teared up a little. You can't prove anything.

Why she not removing those paper thingies? Seems impractical.

Paint on face trope? Check.

Yeah Raphael, lemme pay you some respect for facing your mistakes like that. I like it a lot.

Istg if they don't give him GPS this time and just rely on the tracking rune again, which Jonathan and Clary will insist he blocks, then imma flip my shit.

.......................so many fanfics want to be written here, okay. So many.

Also is no one gonna talk about the fact that they all put the ring on the pointer when that's not the intuitive position to place a ring? For security reasons alone you should put it on your middle finger so it doesn't accidentally slip off. Oh right, I forgot. Magic ring.

I love how Alec's voice wavers and you just know he sends Jace away because he'll start crying if he doesn't (even if in this screen cap Alec looks weirdly happy). Btw headcanon that Jace didn't realize something was up at first and was only tipped off when Izzy asked earlier if Alec was okay, and then he prodded at the parabatai connection and realized... there was nothing. Just a solid wall of nothing, because Alec's been sealing off his feelings completely.

1) Wow, Simon, your condolences are amazing. 2) Please, explain? Is she in a coma? Walking around as if she'd had a lobotomy?? But whatever, just skim over this, she's a minor character anyway and nobody cares about her *shrug*

This is the LAZIEST plot convenience I ever had to see with my own two eyes. I really can't work up the energy to rage about this. Just, wtf. Then again, not calling ahead with vital information seems to be Luke's Thing, just remember the 3x15 disaster. At this point it might as well be considered a character trait of him and no longer plot convenience. *sigh* Also, Shadowhunters are major creeps, am I supposed to believe they don't have a few liters of all of their soldiers' blood stored away somewhere, for reasons?

Uh-huh, Izzy. And if you care to remember, that was about 20 episodes ago. And since vampires have a constant craving for blood they seem to have some kind of metabolic. If you want to tell me that Jace's blood is still IN Simon, then either a) he's been chipping away at the Jace-blood-stash he has hidden in his second gastric and if that runs out he'll no longer be a daylighter or b) Jace's blood went into Simon's cells and changed him on a molecular level..... in which case, to extract it they'd have to remove it, un-daylighter-ing Simon in the process. Or maybe just parts of him? Imagine if he was a daylighter except for his left arm or something. In any case, this is majorly ridiculous and I can't believe I have to suffer through this.

????????????? Who opened that portal? I mean, if he had to call on a warlock to get away, wouldn't it have been easiser for Izzy and Co. to stop him from running through that portal and make him donate some blood first? Instead of forcing this bullshit logic on me? Ugh. But I get it, this is necessary to justify a Sizzy scene. Whatever.

Hahahhahha.

Which means nothing, since Jace can activate his runes without his stele. Or did they forget that part again?? I mean, it's been half a season since he last did that.

“And if it wasn't for our connection I suspect you'd do it again.”

lolololol hilarious.

HAHHAHA WILL YOU STOP WITH THE HILARITY

Honestly, the way they all act I get the distinct feeling I'm watching an exasperated kindergartener and two particularly clingy toddlers vying for her attention XD

Uuuuhhhh yeah hit me with more Malec Flashbacks to make me feel shitty, why don't you.

Okay, consoled. Btw thanks for confirming another headcanon that between the two of them Magnus is the one easier swayed by puppy eyes.

HAHAHAHA of course my mind immediately interpreted that as a misguided pun about Magnus being a Prince of Edom hahahaa wtf Alec

Dammit, his eyes. You can really see how he's allowing himself to start dreaming about it.

Also, can't believe they had a kiddie talk with at least some seriousness, what, two months into their relationship?? Haha. And internally Madzie was like “Uh boring grown up talk, at least I got my sprinkles.”

See, this is what I have problems with. On the one hand, even with all his emotional turmoil going on, Magnus is still enough in his right mind not to fall for Asmodeus's sweet talking, but on the other hand he revisits all of those memories and doesn't realize Alec breaking up with him can't have been real? This doesn't really add up. Either he is out of his mind with emotions that he can't see this very very strange happening for being something fishy (then he shouldn’t have been able to so easily resist Asmodeus), or he's still level-headed enough not to be driven by emotions entirely (then he should have realized the breakup was fake).

toddler fight intensifies

I'M WHEEZING HAHAHAHAHAHAH R U FOR REAL. Also remember my statement from last week? Where I said “I mean, in a way it's nice to know that Demonic Clary isn't smarter than Regular Clary.” Turns out she's so much worse than Regular Clary XD

Lol Raphael is that still you talking or the Plot Point? Because ngl, when I saw that sneak peek promo thingy where Jordan eyes the dramatically last vial of serum in the Institute I immediately thought they want to cook up a conflict there, where he steals the last vial needed to help save Clary and bla bla bla. I really hope they don't go down that road because I feel he should be better than this by now. *sigh* In any case, while I enjoyed the first part of this plot line with Raphael coming here to make reparations, this feels really forced and convenient.

OH MY GOD THANK YOU SIMON FOR ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS WTF I NEED ANSWERS

Wow can't believe they pulled this obvious and clearly unfitting parallel to Sizzy. I mean, Simon lost his glasses back in S1 and even before that Izzy noticed he was hot in like ep 2. She's been appreciating him as a friend since at least 2B if not sooner. So please don't pretend that she just didn't notice what a great guy he is, because she did. She knows he's someone you can count on, who's there when you need him, with advice or a joke or just to listen to you. She knows all this, and has for seasons. But, surprise surprise, you don't fall in love with everyone who's a great guy and a good friend. That is a thing. Friendships are a thing. Anyway, at least I can wholeheartedly agree that in any possible scenario Izzy is the hot girl XD

HAHAHA JACE THAT'S PAYBACK FOR ALL THOSE TIMES YOU INTERRUPTED MALEC HAHA KARMA IS A BITCH RIGHT

.......or just use glamors to look like Downworlders. Just saying.

Jonathan using the cuts to get a secretive chest grab in on Jace, but I know all those sleazy tricks and you can't slip that feel-up past me #busted

*weeping tears* yeah, and he'll never get the real deal. what a tragedy.

“...the Downworlder club. I think the runes front and center on my neck make a compelling argument, don't you agree?” Also the foreboding background music totally spoiled this 'twist.' (I'm using ''s because it was totally obvious this wouldn't work.)

Look I just love Alec, okay. I LOVE ALEC.

*waves hand* elite guard *waves hand some more* blue mark on his neck *smacks self in the face with waving hand* look i'm pretty sure Meliorn doesn't have a mark like this and he's like, the only Seelie that gets regular screen and talking time with the queen. But I'm way too behind schedule to start looking into it, I might edit something in here later (or never ahahaha).

OH DEAR THE MOMENT OF TRUTH

YES YES YES PLEASE

DUUUUDE WHY ARE YOU GIVING HIM IDEAS WHAT THE HELL

Also, remembering that short sequence of Magnus shooting red magic at his temples from the promo doesn't bode too well for the rest of the episode. Dammit.

You had one job, Lindsay. One. Job. (Yes, please imagine the Loki Gif here. I just love him a lot, okay. Loki <3<3<3)

(^pls imagine her little disenchanted headshake because any screen caps I tried to take made her look drugged out of her mind lol.)

Yep, this is it. This is it.

Sooooo.... how exactly did they persuade the bouncer? Just curious.

HAHAHAAHAH duuuuuude hahahhaa.

........when exactly did Jonathan spy all that? I mean, I've been having questions about the pacing since that ep with the Baby Jonathan Flashbacks, because that manibus whatever demon? Referring to 2x05. So Jonathan only got to earth after that? Howwww? Not thanks to Valentine, right, since he didn't even know Jonathan existed until 2x15 where Jonathan intercepted him from his portal to Idris? And didn't they say Sebastian Verlac disappeared half a year ago?? How does that all match up?

In any case, I feel like the seelie queen suddenly having a warlock boy toy who she can't order into her realm and who she has monthly scheduled appointments with that the whole shadow world knows about is a) totally absurd b) pretty ooc for her and c) reeking of plot convenience. They just couldn't find a better excuse for her to be at a certain place at a certain time. They should have made her attend a fashion show, or hell, a gardening contest. Would have been more credible than whatever this is.

“I grab the queen. Clary portals the three of us away.” “The four of us, including the queen.”

HAHAHHAHAHHA I CAN'T XD XD XD #slightly consoled

WHEN THE HELL DID JONATHAN READ / WATCH THE SHINING ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WTF!!!!!

1) This doesn't work in real life. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to catch a snow flake or a raindrop this way? I know because I've tried, and the anwer is ages. 2) Seems a very uneconomical way to distrubute drugs. Whoever invented that business model must be in deep depts by now. 3) What kind of shitty plan was that on Jonathan's part? Get Jace on drugs, he'll surely expose himself to be a traitor? I hate the fact that it works. I hate that everyone's shitty plans always work (re: Sizzy's dilettantish prison infiltration) because that's why they all keep making shitty plans. Positive reinforcement and all that. The only one who always gets punched in the face for making okay-to-good plans is Alec, and that's why he's the overthinker. So unfair.

“Well this is awkward because I just stole it for you.”

So frakkin predictable. Also, how did he steal it from the table when Izzy and Simon where guarding it?? It clearly was still there when Maia left and like

Did Jordan just grab it and run? So many questions.

Don't get me wrong, that whole forging the sword sequence was super badass, but like, if you're wielding scorching hot metal it seems a little impractical to just wear security goggles and a leather apron. There were freaking sparks flying and Izzy ducked. What the hell. What about, idk, unconventional but, a protective suit?? And Simon isn't any better. “Oh, I could die from this sword? Just lemme hide behind this doorway real quick.” *sigh* One of these days a character should die because of dumbass behavior, maybe that'd teach them all a lesson.

Also, this is totally logic. They had a splinter from the original sword that they then made tons of serum from, which they saved 3 vials of..... and somehow this was still enough to forge a whole new frikking sword that's apparently just as powerful as the original one. I don't even know where to start with this bullshit.

.................dude, if you wanted to persuade her you should have pointed out the ring to her. But maybe this isn't about logic at all, this is about wanting to know if he is Clary's first choice without logic or reason, and that would make sense for his character, even if it's not the most sensible or productive course of action.

Me, during the fight scene: “Wow, I believe all that Seelie guard slaughtering is not going to end up in a Downworlder vs Shadowhunter war again..... ha..... hahahaha.”

Arguing with a possessed person. Again. Honestly this is the, uhhh, fifth time this happens on this show? And people just seem to never learn. SIGH

Yeah, by not following the plan and acting stupid, so my sympathy is pretty limited aka non-existent. Btw his slide across the Institute floor was hilarious. And also, pretty nice of Clary not to just kill him. This is the second time she's spared him. Interesting.

ISTG IF THIS SCENE ENDS WITH A CLIFFHANGER IF HE GOES THROUGH WITH IT OR NOT IMMA FLIP MY SHIT

*manic laughter* I love that this makes so much sense. Asmodeus needs Magnus's heartbreak so he'll be susceptible to Asmodeus's influence. So his motives are shitty. On the other hand it's not as if what Asmodeus says to Magnus isn't the truth. Fighting through this will make Magnus stronger, no doubt. Knowing he can be this low and still get back on his feet without running away and succumbing to the pain. And I'm glad, for obvious reasons, that Magnus didn't go through with the memory removal because ain't nobody got time for those issues. Mending the breakup in a satisfying was will be hard enough as is. Back to the scene at hand, I gotta say I love this about Asmodeus: He doesn't lie outright, he mostly lies by omission, and he speaks enough truth to really screw with everyone's perception. It's awesome. He is such a great antagonist and his dynamic with Magnus is highly fascinating.

Conclusion: Not enough Malec (seriously, their only scenes together are flashbacks? the frakkin audacity) but tbh I'm still too high on endorphines since the memory removal didn't happen that I'm mostly okay with it. And the Jonathan-Jace comedy was nice.