#;; & character : jacqueline yilmaz | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tangodancer1x1 · 5 years ago

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Jacqueline woke up that morning with a pit in her stomach. Her own nerves threatened to eat her raw as she tried to force herself out of bed. It had been over a month since she’d grabbed her suitcase, already packed for her honeymoon, and bolted to the airport to catch to flight to anywhere but her home. God, it still felt like yesterday, to her, that she was sobbing the entire seven hour flight, curled into herself, holding a plush animal she’d had since she was a toddler. Part of her had wanted, needed to be wrapped in Jay’s tight embrace, but she couldn’t do that. She’d really tried her hardest to fit into his neat little ten year plan for them, but the closer to their wedding day she got, the more she felt like she was betraying herself. What was supposed to become the happiest day of her life had felt like a prison sentence. Her own dreams for her life had been pushed to the side... Really, it was only a matter of time until she’d snapped.

But she loved him. Washington D.C. was full of distractions, sure, but it wasn’t home. Jay had been home to her. While she didn’t regret not going through with her wedding day, the thought of losing the love of her life was unbearable. It’s why she’d called him, why she’d told him where she was. He’d booked a flight, a hotel, and as she rose from her bed, she felt as if she might be sick. One thing she did regret was hurting him like that. Jaiden had never been the best with listening. She moved to the side of the room she’d started renting, small bag packed with his t-shirts in her sight line. She’d been sleeping in them since she left, but she felt like it was wrong. She didn’t know where they stood. For now, they’d go back to him, and she’d go thrifting for an oversized t-shirt to fill that void later that day. While she normally would take an hour to make sure she looked perfect, this meeting... didn’t feel like that. She slipped on a pair of fleece-lined leggings, a very comfortable baby pink sweater, and the white puffer she’d thrifted on her first day in the city. She’d packed a lot of jewelry when she’d been packing for her honeymoon, and she was grateful for that. She still had the heart-shaped necklace he’d given her, one she’d worn every day in this new city, and debating wearing it that day. However, the thought of leaving it behind made her feel sick at her stomach, so she quickly put it on. It was with shaky legs that she walked out of her room, the shared flat, and out the door to walk to the cute coffee shop around the corner that she’d asked him to meet her at.

She spotted him through the window before she was ready, and took a moment to just stare. The urge to run from this was strong; she’d never been good with confronting things. Her mother had always joked that she was more frightened lamb than girl, and in that moment, she felt it. Somewhere in her must have lied a little bit of courage, because she found herself walking inside before she could help herself. “--Jay.” She wasn’t sure what to do, really, faced with him again. She might not have left him at the altar, but she’d been pretty damn close to it. And he’d still come across the country just to see her. She could feel herself getting choked up already, and she wanted to turn away. The sight of him was unbearable before her. She wanted to run into his arms and cry, but she’d lost that chance. She wanted to hold him, touch him--her hands, instead, fidgeted at her sides, tapping on her thighs. There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she had to say, but she didn’t know how to begin.

closed starter for @parttimerper

#;; & character : jacqueline yilmaz #;; & ft : jaiden wheeler

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jacquelineyilmaz · 5 years ago

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character introduction ;;

look who just moved into APARTMENT 4A! is that ASLIHAN MALBORA? no, that’s definitely JACQUELINE YILMAZ! rumour has it the TWENTY FOUR year old is a MUGGLEBORN and used to be a HOGWARTS RAVENCLAW student but now SHE/HER spends their time as a HEALER. i’m sure they’ll be a great addition to the apartments since they’re KIND-HEARTED and GIVING, despite being A PUSHOVER and ANXIOUS. take some time to settle in. just remember rent is due on the first! — ( maz )

AESTHETICS --> the color baby pink covering everything, hands wringing behind your back, a gentle hand soothing hair back, the word “no” spoken shakily, the i’s of words being dotted with hearts, sex on the beach–the cocktail, a bird being freed from its cage, a pure white sweater covered in tiny red hearts, makeup impeccably done, smile lines at a young age, the scent of vanilla and lavender

HEADCANONS

--> jacqueline spent a good chunk of her life as an only child to a relative comfortable muggle family. her mother used to comment that she was a remarkably easy pregnancy, easy birth, and an easy kid. she never cried, never complained, and it was often said that she woke up smiling every morning. she was the kid asking her mother if she could help with the groceries, with the housework, with her parent’s failing marriage. even as a child, she became a little therapist for her mother and father, making them sit down at one point to talk about why they should stay together. the intervention didn’t work, but both of them were touched by their daughter. she grew up flitting between two houses, but adored by both her mother and father.

--> the summer after her fourth year at Hogwarts, she met jaime, a muggle boy around her age that moved by her father’s house. jaime and jacqueline became fast friends, writing letters back and forth throughout her fifth year of school, and when she came home for holiday break, he asked her out. the pair started a steady relationship which lasted years, fueled by constant letters and young love. jacqueline was smitten, and jaime had plans for them. a ten year plan. he’d go to school, they’d get married, have some kids, then he’d work on writing his first novel before going back to school to get his teaching degree. only one problem–it didn’t seem like he’d much considered what Jacqueline wanted. even after explaining what she was and what she wanted to do–healing–it seemed like he thought she’d leave the magical world behind for him. her parents did, as well, and when he proposed at a graduation party for the pair of them ( which she’d told him not to do ), she found herself unable to say no in front of her sobbing mother.

3.) the entire engagement made jacqueline feel like she was drowning. she loved jaime; shouldn’t she be happy? her mother had taken over the whole wedding process, her father footing the bill, and his family planned to cover the honeymoon. it felt like she wasn’t involved in the slightest, like she was merely witnessing the events as some sort of fever dream. she got sick after she saw herself in her wedding dress, but she tried her best to press on. after all, she’d never let anyone down before. but she began losing sleep, stopped eating, and people had begun to notice that jacqueline wasn’t well. they put it all off on wedding nerves, but the night before the wedding itself, jacqueline, running on three hours of sleep and an odd sense of determination, grabbed her honeymoon suitcase and a few special personal belongings and fled into the night, escaping into the wizarding world and finding herself sobbing in a bar in the phoenix circle. found an apartment the next night, work a week later, and the rest is history.

--> jacqueline is a very firm believer of the outside-in approach–that is, if you dress well on the outside, you’ll feel good on the inside. it’s very rarely that someone would find her without her hair, makeup, and nails done. it makes her feel good, dolling herself up, and she’s decided that it’s a good enough reason to continue doing it.

--> jacqueline is allergic to cats, despite having a deep love for the animals, and will suffer a running nose just to pet a stray for a few moments.

--> jacqueline cut off contact with her family and ex-fiance after she left the muggle world. she has a million voicemails from her mother, yelling and screaming that she’d ruined everything. after years of never saying no, it felt like she was being punished for taking care of herself. she’s lonely, though, without them.

WANTED CONNECTIONS --> new friends, old school mates, neighbors she cooks meals for, just general connections, really.

#;; & holding to the ground while the ground keeps shifting | character intro

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tangodancerxindie · 3 years ago

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meet... jacqueline yilmaz

age: 25

pronouns: she / her

birthplace: dearborn, michigan

species: human

sexuality: asexual ( biromantic )

occupation: med school student

faceclaim: aslihan malbora

&. “be soft. do not let the world make you hard. do not let pain make you hate. do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.” –iain s. thomas

under the cut contains multiple triggers, including ( tw anxiety, tw illness, tw panic attack, tw anxiety attack ). if i seem to have missed anything, please let me know.

jacqueline was born in dearborn, michigan, surrounded by family in a cramped hospital room. her whole family had immigrated from turkey in the 1960′s, escaping the cypriot conflict, and they’d all stayed close, moving to the same town. so when their kids were born, it was a huge celebration of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents… her birth was full of the love of over a dozen people.

she grew up with her relatives living next door, a tight knit community of their own. her best friends were her cousins, she confided in her aunts and uncles. life was pretty charmed for the girl.

when she hit middle school, however, things changed. it was like something inside of her unsettled itself. she started sleeping less, nerves making a once outspoken child and quieter teen. she retreated within herself, worrying about every little thing. she picked at her fingers until they bled, bit her nails down to nubs, and cried. she cried all the damn time. it took a while before anyone really noticed much it was effecting her, and by the time she got a diagnoses, she was in junior high. generalized anxiety disorder.

her parents took her diagnoses very seriously. got her a therapist, got her medicated, got her on her feet. as the months went on, it seemed as though they were getting their little girl back. at least, they got a version back. she was never outspoken or bold again, but she started sleeping with the pills they gave her. slowly, things started to go back to normal.

in high school, she sort of blossomed into the nicest kid in school. kind of kid who never said no to a request… mostly due to her anxiety. she tutored others, did a million extracurriculars. one day, she saw a few of the football team jocks knock some book’s out of the new kid’s hands, and she went over to help him. not because of her own nerves, but because it was the right thing to do.

jaiden… was perhaps the best thing to happen to her. while she was kind to everyone, it didn’t seem like many people wanted to get too close, but he did. they became fast friends, and once sophomore year rolled around, she asked him on a date. she’d plucked up the courage, and despite her own nerves and the fact that she didn’t sleep the full night before. her parents were excited, her extended family a little indifferent to a high school relationship that was bound to end in a month.

it didn’t end in a month. it didn’t end in a year. in the end, they graduated high school together and entered into the same college. she took pre-med. the only reason she was truly functioning today was because of the medical field, and while she didn’t think she could handle being a therapist, she thought being a doctor would be good. put some good karma into the universe.

towards the end of college, jaiden got sick, but he didn’t tell jacqueline. so, when he came back and proposed one day, she was confused. while she didn’t know if they were ready for that, she forced a small smile and accepted. how could she turn him down when they’d been together for so long?

except, she didn’t want to get married yet. she had med school to focus on once she graduated with her pre-med degree, and she knew he had law school. they were about to be swamped with work, hardly see each other, and she wasn’t sure that was what she wanted their marriage to start off like. her anxiety skyrocketed for the first time in ages, and whatever medication she was taking certainly wasn’t strong enough.

she did her best to keep this from jaiden, instead going to her aunt to confide in. she didn’t want to worry her parents. aunt ada was a kind woman who was often a comfort to jacs. there was a level of trust in one’s family there, so when she told her niece that she was feeling wedding jitters, that she was fine, that she hardly needed her medication anymore… jacqueline listened. she dumped her pills down the drain under her aunt’s eye, and for the first time since she was fourteen, she was off of them.

things got worse after that. she stopped finding time to go in and see her therapist, using wedding planning as an excuse. she tried to talk to jaiden a few times about her concerns, but it honestly felt like he wasn’t listening. she just wanted to tell her partner that they weren’t ready. she’d always been clear that she wanted to finish school before they got married, so she didn’t understand why he was rushing things. but her mother was excited. her father was thrilled. it wasn’t as if she could put the wedding on hold, even if she wanted to. and everyone was talking about babies, how many kids the pair would have. no one seemed to care that jacqueline didn’t want to start a family until she was established in her career. no one seemed to notice when she stopped sleeping well, when she stopped eating much. her wedding date became even less of an excitement and more of an execution date. an execution date she had to grin and bear or risk making everyone upset.

the week before the wedding, jacqueline couldn’t even fake a smile. she was rushing to bathrooms to have anxiety attacks, couldn’t seem to focus on anything. she felt like she couldn’t breathe most of the time, and her mother and aunt just told her that wedding jitters could be something nasty. jaiden looked more handsome and happy than she could remember him being, and she hated that she couldn’t feel the same way. she loved him, still adored him, but everything felt wrong. it felt off.

it was supposed to be an early wedding. the night before, as jacqueline slept separate from jaiden, she’d never felt more suffocated. the world felt like it was crashing against her, and she didn’t know why she couldn’t be normal and just go through with it. she had a panic attack, and once that had faded, it was like a switch had flipped. she couldn’t do this. if this was what her future was going to look like, not being forward with what she wanted for fear of upsetting everyone, then she didn’t want it. she grabbed her honeymoon suitcase, her phone, her wallet, and left everything else behind. she was in such a daze by the time she reached the airport, catching the last flight to maine. it wasn’t until she was on the plane itself that she cried, wondering what on earth she had done. later on, a therapist would go on to call this a nervous breakdown.

she didn’t answer any texts or calls for the next week. she found an apartment in a small town and moved in. it was nearby a medical school she’d been accepted to, so she simply moved in and tried to grasp what had happened to her. she wanted to call jaiden, tell him what had really been going down, but she knew she’d broken his trust. that was perhaps the worst part. she eventually got back in contact with her mother, and they cried. her father cried, too, when she talked to him. they visited her in her new apartment, helped her find a new therapist, got her back on her medications. things… leveled out.

jacqueline is super sweet, super sensitive. she finds it incredibly hard to say no to people. she’s friendly, genuinely curious, and loves helping people.

essentially, she’s baby and i’m upset.

#;; & intro #;; & intro : jacqueline yilmaz #;; & character : jacqueline yilmaz #tw anxiety #tw illness #tw panic attack #tw anxiety attack

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tangodancerxxxmumu · 4 years ago

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meet... jacqueline yilmaz

age: 24

pronouns: she / her

birthplace: dearborn, michigan

species: human

sexuality: asexual ( biromantic )

occupation: med school student

faceclaim: aslihan malbora

&. “be soft. do not let the world make you hard. do not let pain make you hate. do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.” --iain s. thomas

under the cut contains multiple triggers, including ( tw anxiety, tw illness, tw panic attack, tw anxiety attack ). if i seem to have missed anything, please let me know.

jacqueline was born in dearborn, michigan, surrounded by family in a cramped hospital room. her whole family had immigrated from turkey in the 1960′s, escaping the cypriot conflict, and they’d all stayed close, moving to the same town. so when their kids were born, it was a huge celebration of aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents... her birth was full of the love of over a dozen people.

she grew up with her relatives living next door, a tight knit community of their own. her best friends were her cousins, she confided in her aunts and uncles. life was pretty charmed for the girl.

in high school, she sort of blossomed into the nicest kid in school. kind of kid who never said no to a request... mostly due to her anxiety. she tutored others, did a million extracurriculars. one day, she saw a few of the football team jocks knock some book’s out of the new kid’s hands, and she went over to help him. not because of her own nerves, but because it was the right thing to do.

jaiden... was perhaps the best thing to happen to her. while she was kind to everyone, it didn’t seem like many people wanted to get too close, but he did. they became fast friends, and once sophomore year rolled around, she asked him on a date. she’d plucked up the courage, and despite her own nerves and the fact that she didn’t sleep the full night before. her parents were excited, her extended family a little indifferent to a high school relationship that was bound to end in a month.

she did her best to keep this from jaiden, instead going to her aunt to confide in. she didn’t want to worry her parents. aunt ada was a kind woman who was often a comfort to jacs. there was a level of trust in one’s family there, so when she told her niece that she was feeling wedding jitters, that she was fine, that she hardly needed her medication anymore... jacqueline listened. she dumped her pills down the drain under her aunt’s eye, and for the first time since she was fourteen, she was off of them.

she didn’t answer any texts or calls for the next week. she found an apartment in a small town, bellport, and moved in. it was nearby a medical school she’d been accepted to, so she simply moved in and tried to grasp what had happened to her. she wanted to call jaiden, tell him what had really been going down, but she knew she’d broken his trust. that was perhaps the worst part. she eventually got back in contact with her mother, and they cried. her father cried, too, when she talked to him. they visited her in her new apartment, helped her find a new therapist, got her back on her medications. things... leveled out.

school was going well for her, and things seemed to finally be alright when she caught sight of jaiden in her new town. she called her therapist right after, begging for an extra session if he had time for her. she wasn’t sure she could face the man she still loved, not when her life was finally coming back together again. but, in this town, it seemed inevitable.

jacqueline is super sweet, super sensitive. she finds it incredibly hard to say no to people. she’s friendly, genuinely curious, and loves helping people. while she noticed some weird things about her new town, she tries not to put too much stock into them.

essentially, she’s baby and i’m upset.

#;; & intro : jacqueline #;; & character : jacqueline yilmaz #tw anxiety #tw illness #tw panic attack #tw anxiety attack

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tangodancerxindie · 3 years ago

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The sounds of the roaring Halloween Party could be heard from inside the palace, but it didn’t bothered Jacqueline much. She’d always been a big fan of the holiday, the fun costumes, the music, the movies. The parties, on the other hand, she enjoyed in smaller doses. And she’d opted, either way, to spend this Halloween in the infirmary, keeping the patients company. Sitting by the bedside of one guard who’d managed to injure himself, she offered a small smile as he began to doze, their conversation having trailed off as his medication kicked in. As the echoed sounds of the Monster Mash blared through the air, she carefully pulled back, moving to get some fresh air. As she turned, she felt the cold metal move against her chest, underneath her little red blouse, and her smile only fell slightly. Last Halloween felt lightyears away, and even though the little turtleneck and flannel she’d worn as Wendy Torrance had come with her to the island, she couldn’t bring herself to wear what had been half of a couple’s costume.

Besides, the mushroom look she’d gathered together seemed to be cheering people up more than that ever could. Bright mushroom cap hat in bright red and cream, a little cutesy makeup, the red blouse with a big cream bow she’d pulled from her wardrobe. She even had little mushroom earrings that matched the Mary Jane heels she’d painted with milky mushroom dots. All together, it’d made some people smile, if the little candy treat she brought hadn’t. That felt good enough.

She moved to grab her little cream cardigan, prepared to sneak a quick peek at the costumes at the party, when a familiar face wandered into the infirmary. Bright smile perked up on her face, a much more comfortable expression than she wore around any of the other royals. “You’re supposed to be enjoying the party, Mik,” she admonished, but the smile was still on her lips. “But it’s always nice to have you around. I’d have grabbed more candy had I known.”

a starter for @wildhcvrts ( mikiel & jacqueline )

#;; & character : jacqueline yilmaz #;; & verse : war of royals #;; & event : a spooky soiree #they are not at the party and all BUT #tw medication

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