#; nowhere to run | wishlist

[imaginethathaikyuu]

literally anything with atsumu i love him and ur writing is always up to par so. i will be happy with anything. but a cute birthday themed piece could be fun perhaps

thank u so much i wrote this specifically for u and i managed to write a weirdly formatted atsumu centered fic that barely went over 1k words. we are so back

contains: fluff, mild childhood angst, a black eye, birthday cake word count: 1163 gender neutral reader x miya atsumu :p

-

October 5th, 1995 

Atsumu Miya is born. He’s gifted a bright flash of light, the sound of his own cries, and - seven minutes later - a brother. 

October 5th, 2003

There was a HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner taped to the cabinets in the kitchen. The R was ripped nearly in half, and the colors were dull. 

It was the same one as last year, and the year before that. 

Atsumu walked through the threshold with his brother right next to him. Osamu knew how to say thank you in the right way to get the best hug from their mom. 

They were presented with one singular cupcake. 

“Why can’t we ever get our own?” 

The two boys sat too close at the kitchen table, the strawberry cake sat right in front of them. 

“You have to learn how to share, Atsumu.” 

He knew how to share. There was nothing left to learn.

One candle was mashed in the frosting. Mom lit the flame and Atsumu watched wax dripping onto his half as she sang their happy birthday song, and told them to make a wish. 

Atsumu and Osamu looked at each other, then blew at the candle at the exact same time. 

The cupcake was cut in half, and Atsumu’s stomach hurt before he could finish his. Osamu took it without being asked. 

But if they had each gotten their own, Atsumu would've had more to share with his brother. 

October 5th, 2010

Atsumu was fifteen and he knew everything. He was always right - never, ever wrong, and if anyone disagreed, they’d have to take it up directly with him. 

He knew how to run his mouth. Maybe it was what he was best at. He’d never lost an argument - until his fifteenth birthday. 

He’d gotten good at taking his aggression out in healthy ways - mostly in sports. But, sometimes, the words he spit couldn’t be left on the court. 

He would say what he wanted, and he didn’t care who heard or hurt. 

He didn’t know what he had coming to him. 

The entire team had already abandoned the gym, all but Atsumu and the shitty middle blocker who played like he didn’t know his position. 

Atsumu was outside stretching when his words hit his ears. “You’re a piece of shit, Miya.” 

“Oh my god - get in line, dude, you’re about the fifth person today to let me know.” 

“That many people wanna rip your head off? I wish one of them would teach you how to shut the fuck up.” 

“And I wish someone would teach you how to block the fuckin’ ball.” 

The guy didn’t reply. He took one step in Atsumu’s direction - he remembered hearing the crunch of gravel under the guy's foot. His shoulder moved with the step, and with it, the first real punch Atsumu had ever been thrown. 

And it hit. Hard. Ten times harder than any hits from Osamu. 

The guy’s fist collided with Atsumu’s cheek and then he walked away. Atsumu didn’t even have a chance to hit back - he was frozen in place, anyway. There was no fight in him. He was too surprised. 

A black eye wasn’t on his wishlist for his birthday, but it’s what he got. A lesson learned? Not so much. 

October 5th, 2019

He was another year older - so what. 

The only part of Atsumu’s birthday that he liked was giving his brother a stupidly expensive gift, because it gave him an excuse to gloat. 

Other than that? It was a day like any other. 

Birthdays were nowhere near special to him - especially his own. But it just so happened that on that specific birthday, he had his first date with you. 

And it didn’t even come up in conversation. Neither did his twin brother, or any of his volleyball stories he’d usually tell to impress a date. 

Atsumu found out that he didn’t need to impress you, and he hardly needed to talk about himself. 

He left that date feeling like he was friends with you, and maybe that wasn’t how he should feel after a date, but he was beaming. The hours with you at that hole in the wall bar didn’t feel like enough. 

He took that feeling and ran with it, and he hoped - he prayed - you’d follow him. 

October 5th, 2022

It’d been late nights for as long as Atsumu could remember. He’d come home and you’d already be in bed - if he was lucky, you’d wake up just long enough to tell him you love him. 

That night was different from the rest. 

That night, he would be coming home to - literally - an empty home. 

Finally, you and Atsumu had moved into the house of your dreams that was yours. But, for the time being, you were living out of boxes and waiting for furniture deliveries. 

He opened the door to a dark living room and an even darker hallway, and he didn’t bother turning any on lights to get to the kitchen. 

There was a shred of light there, coming from an old bulb above the stove. He looked around the empty room and what he found was out of place. 

There you were, sat on the floor. A chair was next to you, funnily enough, but it was taken by a round white cake. A handful of candles were stuck into the top. 

“What are you doing?” he asked, the same time you spoke. 

“There’s my birthday boy,” and your voice was all sleepy smiles. “Happy birthday. Happy anniversary.” 

He sat in front of you, right on the floor, not caring when his knees popped on the way down. 

“Did you stay up just to tell me that?” 

“What’s wrong with that?” 

You picked up the cake and presented it to him like you were proud of it, and the size of his grin matched yours. 

“How mad would you be if I just tipped this up,” and he tapped the bottom of the plate, “right into your face?” 

“Atsumu.” Every time you said his name like that, he laughed. “I would kill you.”

“On my birthday?” 

He watched you pout as you sat the cake down again. “Aren’t you going to say thank you?” 

“Thank you,” he said, like he was insisting. He wrapped his hands around your legs and scooted you closer to him. “Thank you, baby, this is so nice.” 

You hummed. “You’re welcome.” And you dipped your finger in the frosting on the cake, and Atsumu immediately caught your wrist when you moved it toward his face. 

“Don’t you dare.” 

You kept pushing, and he didn’t push back fast enough - your finger and the glob of frosting smushed right into his cheek. 

And you laughed loud enough to fill the empty rooms of your house, and Atsumu didn’t know how to tell you how in love he was. 

He had birthday cake for dinner that night, and it settled into a sugary stomach ache. It was the best October 5th he'd lived through so far.

-

got a request for a drabble? send it in, i might write it :)  

[wirewitchviolet]

I hate Steam, and it's weird that you don't.

Easily, hands down, the single worst piece of software I have ever had on any computer is Steam, the game shopping/library/I-guess-social-media-app? from Valve that I'm fairly certain anyone who has ever used a personal computer to play a video game within the past, what, 20 years or so, is quite familiar with. It's ubiquitous. People have a level of affection for it they get kinda frighteningly weird about. But it is honestly JUST THE WORST, and I'm going to ramble about why for a good bit under the fold here.

I hate Steam as a store.

Primarily, Steam is a storefront. If I want to purchase a game to play on my computer I can, and often have to, either launch this here app or use the same credentials on a website, where I can fill in my credit card info and, one would assume, get a copy a game I can then install and play. But uh... while this is nowhere near the top of my personal list of issues with Steam, it is worth noting that that is not actually the nature of such a transaction, really.

What I am really paying for, in practice, is for whatever game it is to be "activated in my Steam library." That means I can then open the Steam app, pick that game off a list, and click a download button, which WILL grab all of that game's files from a server and copy them onto my computer, but not in the form of an executable application I can move around and properly back up and launch on its own. Rather, what I have downloaded is a plug-in for the Steam app that will let me launch that game from within the Steam app, if the Steam app is currently connected to the internet and having a good day. In every other context where any other piece of software pulls that kind of crap, everyone quite rightfully throws a fit over it, and frequently will outright refuse. Sometimes things go to court over companies insisting on this weird level of control and spying over the files people have on their own computers. I have plenty to get into about this later, but I'm still not done griping about Steam as a store.

Because see, sometimes, exchanging money for a game to be activated in a steam library doesn't even work. For whatever reason that I'm sure makes sense to someone's accountant, activation of a game in a steam library is based on the use of I want to say 16 character unique "activation keys," and sometimes they run out. Admittedly this issue comes up more frequently when I am acquiring a game from somewhere other than steam- a giveaway the developer is running, buying something from the Humble store and getting a steam key from them instead of a direct download, backing something on kickstarter, whatever. But PRETTY FREQUENTLY, I give someone my money, and in return I get a little notification that "Steam keys for this product are not in stock." I don't get my money back. I don't get some kind of gift card to use on something else. I just get, "welp, sorry! We don't actually have the thing you paid for available! Check back sometime later and we might?" And the operative word there is might. There are games I've paid for whose keys have been out of stock for YEARS. Oh and sometimes, those keys expire! I pay money for a game, get what is essentially a tag to take up to the front counter, and if I don't get on that, someone just pockets my money and I get nothing. Sometimes this happens THE DAY I PURCHASE IT. Sometimes THE DAY BEFORE I PURCHASE IT. No warning up front.

So, OK. Surely though there is some upside to this weird key tracking setup, right? Like if I somehow get into a situation where I have a key for a game that I already own (perhaps it's my birthday, and two people both decided to gift me the same game that I had on my wishlist). I have the one activated copy. I put in this second code and... here's a message that I already have this. Oh well OK. Will you refund me for the key then? No. ... can I pass the key along to someone else who also wants that game? I believe it depends, but the answer is at least sometimes no. Especially if there's some sort of sale or bundle involved, no splitting those keys up between several people, arbitrarily. Steam is all too happy to just take your money in these sorts of situations and give you nothing in return. Hell, I can think of at least 3 or 4 instances when I have ended up with an activation key or an on-site sales button for a game with various DLC expansions included, and because I already owned the base game, I was unable to activate this extra copy with the DLC included. No DLC for me, no refund.

Those pretty serious issues aside, it's just... really badly laid out and run as a store. Plenty of people will gripe about how hard it is to find something, or how there will just be a weird mix of porn and shovelware (often describing the same game) on the front page, but even just working out what you're buying or what a sale covers is kind of a confusing mess? Like right now, going to the front page, here's a big Wales Interactive sale. Let's just click through that and... OK what the hell is this complete mess? Don't judge me if you see "in library" on garbage by the way, it was all blind box bundle stuff. Anyway right at the top of this special dedicated sale page we've got

OK the one horror thing is 25% off... or 27% off with its DLC. The other is 81% off. Let me just scroll down more though...

OK so wait the one game they're really pushing the hardest here has a deluxe edition, an ultimate edition, and a collector's edition. All on sale, I think all with the DLC bundled in... and like, this version here is "-20% -33% so $51.66" and this other version which comes bundled with a whole other game is "-10% -58% $21.14" What are we even trying to convey? In what world would the former be a good deal? And those FMV bundles are similarly confusing. Well, let me just click through and see if it's clearer looking at just this one game and see if that clears it up?

No! Somehow this is even more confusing! I can however apparently buy just this game, if I were inclined, for MORE MONEY than buying this game bundled with this other game I already own. Why? How? Or if I want the DLC, I can get it with all the DLC for $50, OR I can get it with all the DLC for $30? Again, I am just incredibly confused, and glad I really don't have any desire to own this and don't need to care.

I will say though that the first time I ever purchased anything from Steam it was when they were running a sale like this on the Oddworld games. The confusing as hell bundle buttons and redirects and such set up a world wherein I had the option of getting literally every Oddworld game to date (this was before New and Tasty was a thing) for $25 OR I could get a bundle of every game except for Munch's Oddysee... the one game I had never had a chance to play before... plus those were uh... older buggier PC ports apparently. Anyway something bugged out in the cart, I had two identical things in there, just listed as "Oddworld..." and I end up charged for the.... objectively terrible option instead of literally that plus a whole other game.

So you know, IMMEDIATELY, when I see the full list of what I'm actually getting for the first time after hitting confirm, I see something went wrong, and promptly set about trying to cancel that/order the correct thing/get hold of some tech support person because hey what the hell? Now with LITERALLY ANY OTHER STORE, this would get taken care of immediately. Online, brick and mortar, whatever. In person? "Hey, I gave you the money for these 5 things, you only put 4 of them in my bag." "Oh sorry, here you go!" or "Hey the wrong thing was on the shelf" or "hey this literally wasn't in the box" these get sorted. I've had online stores literally send me completely the wrong order, got that sorted out. I've ordered clothes that didn't fit, they refunded me and didn't even want me sending the baby-sized one back. I once had a weird collision where a friend bought me a whole huge pricy bundle of games and software from itch.io, because she had contributed to it and wanted to share, meanwhile I bought it myself for the same reason. One quick support e-mail and I got them to send HER a refund, like within 5 minutes. Steam though? It has literally been a decade now, multiple support tickets, I still don't have my collection, no refund, nothing.

And you know just sticking with this a moment... appeasing customers upset about this sort of thing is kinda the one thing stores are for. If something is on sale in a store for $50, that store paid somewhere between $5 and $25 for that to whoever supplied it to them. When I buy it, I am forwarding along that small percentage of the price to the people who actually made the thing, and the rest of the money I am forking over is me paying the store for the service of making this a low stress low headache situation. Functionally that means I am buying insurance against random weird issues like... paying for something and not getting it. It happens rarely enough that the store still profits, but sometimes yeah you just give an angry customer whatever the hell they're haranguing you about, even if you're confused about what their deal is, so they don't spend the next decade griping to everyone about how terrible your store is to anyone who will listen and swear off ever shopping there again. Especially if they have a paper trail on how you didn't give them what they were attempting to buy. But anyway, moving on to the next problem.

Wait no! One more thing! It is SHOCKINGLY DIFFICULT to do gift shopping on steam! If I set up a wishlist, nobody can see it unless they're friends with me, and even then it's kinda weirdly buried in submenus to a point where I always need to search up a guide on how to even find it. And you'd think there'd be some option to just like... buy one of these keys everything is using for a game, and mail it to someone as a surprise gift, but nope. Not an option. Everything about buying a game for a friend or relative is like pulling teeth. In the store for buying games.

I hate Steam as a launcher app.

There is really no reason for launcher apps to exist. We are all perfectly capable of, say, putting all of our games into a nice little "Games" directory on our computer and setting a nice shortcut to that or whatever other little organizational things we might want to do. I will grant that just freaking displaying a directory is something Windows in particular is weirdly bad at, but it does a better job than Steam does. Just opening this window with a list of games requires a weird amount of startup, possibly a login, it puts a shocking load on processor and ram. It opens a big annoying pop-up ad. It signs me into a messenger app I'm never going to use. And when I'm done with it, attempting to close it out like any other piece of software on my computer just straight up does not work. In theory if I formally "Exit Steam" from a drop-down it will cleanly quit, but sometimes I forget, and I swear, sometimes that doesn't do the trick, and while it certainly looks like Steam isn't open from a glance at my taskbar, if I open up my task manager, here's like... 5 separate running instances of something called "Steam Web Helper" and one of them is eating AN ENTIRE FREAKING GIG of RAM! It is absolutely absurd for anything to ever be doing that. The only other thing I have that eats RAM that absurdly is my web browser, where I have like 200 tabs open across 20 windows at any given time, all loaded up with gross bloated sphagetti scripts instead of functional code. But it's not like this Steam web helper is secretly a web-browser opening pages up for every game in my library or anything right?

... no apparently that's what it is. Yeah all those screenshots, trailers, reviews, "community content" sections full of creepy fan art and Russian youtube LPs of games that load up in a full page splash zone when you're just trying to click the name of a game off a simple text list and hit launch are secretly a big web page we're quietly launching an invisible web browser to load up. And hey, even if you don't have that window open, it's still loaded. And even if you go mess with preferences and ask not to be spammed with all this stuff, it's still loaded. And even if you try to keep steam closed at all times to avoid the whole mess, it really likes to worm its way in to load on boot up and also update itself whenever it feels like it.

And hey! Speaking of updates! The real reason the steam launcher even exists of course is to serve as super aggressive DRM (the sort where even if you have single player games locally "installed," you can't play them if you are offline or otherwise unable to connect to Steams servers, and to spam you with those pop-up ads, but the sales pitch to keep you from just treating the whole thing as gross malware is that there is some convenience here. Doesn't matter if you have 10 computers scattered about, Steam will keep your favorite games all ready to go and fully up to date and cloud sync saved data between them so they can be loaded up at the touch of a button!

Well that end of things straight up sucks. I am inherently distrustful of automated updates in general. I tend to hit a version of a given piece of software I like, and from there on any further updates can only make it worse. Also, I like to have total control of when my bandwidth is being hogged. I don't want to be streaming a movie, or hosting a stream on twitch, and have oh... Steam, let's say, decide that 100% of my bandwidth is needed RIGHT THIS MINUTE, because there was a 30 gig update for I dunno, Granny Simulator. But... Steam feels differently, and will absolutely queue that up. Even after I dug through preferences looking for a way to disable that. Even when I don't have the game in question installed, and haven't had it installed for years, if ever. Aside from the serious bandwidth issue, I constantly find myself mysteriously out of disk space because Steam decided it was time to download a huge patch for some game or other I've never even touched, and I just have to go through like I'm hunting for mushrooms in a basement or something finding these unwanted games.

And it doesn't even really keep them up to date! I end up with games that are "fully installed and ready to launch" but when I try, I have to sit there for upwards of multiple hours after hitting launch buttons because oh, the installation process forgot that every game for some baffling reason needs its own personal copy of DirectX and 20 other software dependencies, and it just didn't feel like running the installers for those when installing the game.

The worst part though is the damn cloud sync saves. I have absolutely lost count of how many dozens or hundreds of times I have completely lost all save data for a game because some cloud sync failed, or an automatic update corrupted save files. Or less damaging but still quite annoying, I've lost my connection to steam while playing a game, causing my local save to be more up to date than the version stored on a server, and Steam's answer to that is TOO FREAKIN' BAD! There is, to my knowledge, absolutely no way to push a save file to the cloud by hand. It is always considered the master copy, and if it's out of date or corrupted, oh well. I didn't ask for this, I'm always playing on my one desktop, but I just gotta deal.

I... greatly dislike Steam as a compatibility layer.

So the thing with Steam and the separate copy of DirectX for every individual game is that IN THEORY, Steam does a lot of handy things behind the scenes to get older games to work smoothly on modern hardware. And it... often does a kind of OK job at that? I put it through its paces on that front more than most people do, streaming my whole library, which includes some 20 or 30 year old games, but... most of those are from modern promotions explicitly linked to Steam so you'd think those would all be guaranteed to... run, at all. Hopefully not too many would have terrible interactions with the resolution on my monitor. DOS games in particular tend to really suck through Steam. There's a one size fits all DOSBox solution, but... it's an old buggy version of DOSBox, and if I could just manually launch a more current and nicely customized one and run these things through that, and not have it, you know, completely break should I alt-tab away, that'd be nice. But I can't. Because aggressive DRM.

I hate Steam as a social media... thing.

Back at the dawn of time, I like a lot of other people made the mistake of picking AOL as an internet service provider. Everything about this was absolutely miserable, except for the whole Instant Messenger thing. That was a nice way to stay in touch with people that I used for many many years... and the reason I used it for many many years was that it was available as a small lightweight independent program I could still use for decades past when I swore off AOL forever. Steam has a little chat thing, but... it does not have that very important feature. I can't access my steam friends chat deal unless I am actively running this awful piece of software that eats more than half my RAM and fills my hard drive with garbage. And also, you know, I have multiple other ways to keep in touch with people. If I did use it though, I'd hate the UI. And I hate how you have to cut through it half the time to invite a friend to play a multiplayer game.

Beyond that, Steam has all this "community" stuff where... again, unless I actively disable it, I'm bombarded with weird LPs and fan art and this whole baffling ecosystem of neo-nazis spamming negative reviews at everything not staring a white guy and... reviewing each other's reviews like some kind of weird reddit gold system? Totally burying any useful information, and also throwing "user tags" on games destroying any sort of usable organizational info. And then there's trading cards? I've never understood what those are about. It all just seems terrible, and I want to be rid of it, and it definitely enables all kinds of horrible stalking, too.

I hate Steam as... you know, a general vestige of horrible capitalistic crap?

While Steam isn't the ONLY game in town as far as a store you can buy games from, it has enough of a stranglehold on things, and this weird cult-like following of people who I guess missed out on the whole 16-bit console wars thing and are hellbent on recreating it with... what stores people shop at. So there's a lot of baseline stupidity and aggressive weirdos from that, but also, as a developer, you really can't afford not to put stuff in the Steam store, which as I understand it is the absolute worst deal financially for any possible place you can sell a game these days, and forces developers to eat the loss with the constant weirdly advertised sales. Plus, you know, I personally have like... two or three thousand games right now which I can ONLY run if I have Steam going. Eventually it's going down and taking all those with them. Any unilateral policy changes Steam makes, we're all stuck with. Games get pulled without warning or recourse. Hell, game developers get snatched up by Valve on the promise of getting their stuff published and getting relocated to... maintenance projects on Steam with their projects killed. So that all sucks.

But again, mostly I hate the bloated malware aspect and them stiffing me on a game a decade ago. And it's weird that everyone seems to just give them infinite free passes on all this stuff while harping on anyone else they see doing similar stuff.

[echthr0s]

*record scratch* "yep. that's me. you're probably wondering how I got here..."

well. I got here thanks to unexpected Patron of the Eldritch Arts @antoncrane who plucked it out of my Steam wishlist out of nowhere and also the grace of the computer gods who let me run it without my dear machine exploding (I should really give Azathoth more credit, he's a good machine. ain't much he can't do)

this is Ioannu the tiefling. here's the clearer shot from the CC

I don't know much about this world so it was really hard to make a character (usually I have more to go on and can sketch out a clearer character concept), but we're just gonna see where this takes us

first impression: mindflayers pwn so fkn hard that's it that's all you need to know

[lifefcrged]

PLOT HOOKS. / wishlist combo.

HYDRA (or verse equivalent) era: (mid 1910's-mid/late 1940's)

this was the time that she was being broken / trained / pitted against her brother / other prisoners, being turned into an operative so: scientists, psychiatrists, hypnotists, other operatives, trainers, handler, other prisoners / 'operatives in training' that were being brainwashed/trained/broken while mikkah & mikhail were there, trainers / other supersoldiers etc. that trained her to fight or taught her skills relevant to being an operative / spy. agents / doctors / supersoldiers etc from the 'good guy' side of things; targets that she was sent to seduce / blackmail / hurt / heal idk.

ON THE RUN era: (mid/late 1940's-1980's)

spent a lot of time moving from remote town to middle of nowhere village literally continent hopping constantly to try and keep off radar. did not want to risk being discovered. the further away from cities & technology the better. lots of trauma recovery time. ended up in some pretty way way remote off the beaten path villages. started studying herbology and many various methods of traditional medicine and healing. any plots / interactions that works in this timeframe is welcome. - could be bounty hunter, operative hunting her to someone trying to recruit her to the good guys or someone seeking revenge for what happened in the early 1900's to anyone she'd meet in the day to day on the run / or in any of the remote places she'd stay in.

MORE TO COME.

[squirrelno2]

So my birthday is coming up in June, exactly one week after the last day of a two-week marathon Work Event (I love my job it's going to be fun it's just. Also the thing that's been taking all my mental bandwidth since the end of April.) My dream is to hit the ground running after the work stuff and get back into writing, because the actual work drops off immediately after that and I'll have a lot of time and energy and nowhere to put it.

So! All of this to say if you would like to contribute to my birthday revelry, here are some things I would adore:

1. Send me prompts or questions about my wips, including ones I haven't touched in a very very long time!

2. If you're feeling curious about an OC you've seen here, let me know!

3. Or, if you're like me and never know what to send question-wise, I would also love to hear about your ocs or fics if you've been looking for that place to infodump! You could DM me with those if you don't want it to be public on someone else's blog but. I know I always am sitting around like "do I really have permission to talk about this guy I made up" so here it is if you need it, too! Please. Please come tell me whatever you want, let's be buddies.

Basically my birthday wish is to talk to people about shared interests without having to go through the anxiety rigmarole of "what if I'm annoying them". it's an easy wishlist I guess?

[misuutira]

Okay so I initially told myself that the Calamity AU (an H2O AU I’ve been scheming over the past couple of months) would mostly be plot-heavy and serialized, but now that I’m drafting out the story I’m finding myself getting more and more excited about the prospect of like small episodic adventures that tie into the greater narrative. 

Forget Mako angst! Forget the looming threat of the girls gradually losing their legs! I am on the verge of dedicating an entire storyline to Emma and her family where Lisa and Neil decide to invite the gang over to dinner to meet Bella and catch up, but Emma is afraid to tell her friends that her family knows her secret while her family thinks they have to hide the fact that Emma is a mermaid from her friends (they are incredibly bad at it), unbeknownst to them that Emma’s friends are mermaids as well and-

[pctaldrunk]

i have a sudden and intense craving for “they’re on the run together for some reason (maybe they each have their own reasons, maybe they’re not entirely sure of each other’s reasons, maybe they just don’t really want to talk about it) and don’t necessarily trust each other completely but have to set aside their differences, bridge their traumas and try to work together. eventually they slowly start trusting each other, maybe fall into a routine, and it’s easier and maybe a little domestic.” + some bonus “they open up about their vulnerabilities and end up becoming fairly close friends/found fam/ maybe making out in a dingy motel bathroom, idk, that’s entirely up to the muses, I’m not gonna stop em”

[jchncn]

tag drop ( ic. )

* moments of magic and wonder seem so hard to find / study.

* lord forgive me i was never meant to hurt no one / skills.

* throwing myself into the fire for some fun / body.

* i’ve got sunshine in my mind / aesthetic.

* i’ve got a broken mask i’ll never need / style.

* just take my heart out to make it all better / headcanon.

* gonna keep running till i’m there / wishlist.

* the shield method is kidnapping / crack.

* i’ve got nowhere left to go and i need my heroes / ic.

* wanna taste love and pain / bait.

* wanna go out in a blaze of glory / wants.

* there’s just creeping paranoia and sleepless nights / worldbuilding.

[kravinova]

tag drop, part 1

[dovesndecay]

I don't want to make this post. I don't, I don't, I don't. I never do.

I'm eternally exhausted with making begging posts every week, with my own situation and lack of options, of what feels like inviting a cocktail of pity and disdain from every which way, and having to be gratingly transparent about my finances and my personal health to complete strangers to essentially make a bid for "why I deserve to be helped" is...a lot to deal with when you're already disabled and chronically mentally ill.

But I have little room left for pride, and, well, *gestures at capitalism*.

If you follow me, you probably know my situation. But for those who don't, here's the cliff notes.

I'm disabled and unable to work and support myself beyond what I do for my patreon (which is never as on-schedule as I keep trying to make it) and when my roommate and I feel up to it, we do doordash a couple times a week to supplement. Those funds generally go towards meds and food when things get tight.

For the month of October, thanks to incredibly generous folks, I was able to just make the car insurance payment and parts of the smaller bills that had begun piling on top of each other.

But out of my regular $1200 worth of bills, I still have $935 left that I need to pay to just make it to being able to start trying to pay November's bills.

$400 of that $935 is just to make the car payment. Which is kinda important.

(For folks that saw we had to send the car in to the mechanic a week or two ago; Johnny's all fixed up, running good, and I can't thank y'all enough for the help!! I've been out of town, and I was so worried about him!!)

My car is how @natalieironside makes it to her dirt wizard job each night, which is what pays for the roof over our collectively queer disabled heads, so keeping Johnny in our possession, instead of the bank's, is, admittedly, pretty high priority. And it's already getting near a month overdue.

[img desc: Screenshot of my bank balance, which reads, "$86.00" on top and "available balance" below.]

My current bank balance is $86.00, and every single bit of help -- whether by donating or boosting -- genuinely means everything to me.

Ways You Can Help:

You can donate directly via any of the options below. And if you're able to, willing to, do this, it does not matter to me if it's $1 or $100, my gratitude to you is endless. Please never apologize to me for how little you might be able to do to help me. Every bit means the world to me.

PayPal: link

Venmo: borinquenaqueer

Cashapp: $borinquenaqueer

You can check out my patreon! I’m writing a queer vampire serial, sharing short stories, and behind-the-scenes content. There's a fair bit of stuff on there that might catch your eye. I'm working on adding upcoming cosplay stuff as well! (Current top project is Guillermo De La Cruz from What We Do In The Shadows!)

You can purchase a print through my shop! Accomplices from my patreon get a 15% discount code!

Disclaimer: For transparency's sake, I'll tell you now that print purchases do not pay out until something like 2 months after the initial purchase. (But I like it when people like my photography, so y'know.)

Send me something from my wishlists! All of the funds I'm sent, whether it's donations or pledges, go towards bills + food. So, I keep necessities and wants that I simply can’t afford to get on my Amazon wishlists.

[General | Cosplay | Pets | Clothes]

Lastly, You Can Reblog This Post.

And if that's all you can do, I want you to know that doing this means just as much to me as if you were able to do every single one of these other things all at once. Without your boost, my post dies within a few hours and I get nowhere.

Thank you. 💛

[attonitos-gloria]

Your hotd s2 wishlist?

aahhhh thank you for this ask.

i want blood and cheese to be horrible. it has to be a horror scene. i want them to put all the ugliness of war in it as they did in the scene with aemond and luke. and i want them not to find a plot point to make it random or accident or a misunderstanding. i liked some of the adaptations so far (aemond killing luke on accident was a great, great commentary about the illusion that you can control a dragon; you can't, it's a fucking nuclear bomb, it's not a kitten) but blood and cheese is just.... humans being horrible.

i want them to take aegon's drunkenness after b&c seriously, as seriously as helaena's madness. i do believe the children are aemond's, though, so i want to see how he'll react, too.

i want rhaenyra and alicent being horrible, too. so far they build it up in a way that they are holding on to their friendship and to their childhood memories, but i want this to fester and to rot, i want rhaenyra being the mad queen, being full cersei, i want alicent being not only unpleasant but full murderous after b&c, i want them cursing each other, i want the divorce phase to come. it's about time!!! it's what we paid for!!! divorced wives. i want this hate and tension running throughout the season.

i want a scene of rhaenyra remembering viserys, or referencing him in any capacity. i want their bond to show.

this is mostly to my amusement, but i want to see daeron. like. just see his face. i'm so curious to see how they are going to INSERT another green child in the narrative out of nowhere. a sibling never mentioned before. everybody going casually "oh, hello daeron, our dearest brother daeron whom we all know and love and miss and never talk about."

i want to see winterfell and the starks. because i'm a nostalgic bitch.

i want to see the riverlands burning and bleeding. like i want actual battle scenes in the riverlands. particularly the fishfeed, if it's even in this season.

i want to see larys doing his horrible things. in fact i just want to see larys. by alicent's side through all this. while she goes internally "why won't he leave me alone i created a monster". ah, i miss him so much. *sighs wistfully*

i never know the pace they will take with things, but i suppose this is the season where rhaenys and meleys die - i think they could pull out an "oops! accident" in this one too, it would fit the narrative since nobody can see a thing clearly just as in the aemond/luke incident. but by this point i think aegon is already too angry and bitter so i hope they won't; i hope it will be like in the books, like, cataclysmic, nuclear-bomb coded. i really like how in this show they are leaving hints that the dragons are part of the problem (i'm an anti-dragon person you see. the animals, not all the targaryens necessarily). i think this moment is an important one to show that.

having the season end with aegon and sunfyre both terribly hurt and aemond crowned as regent would be awesome. i think if they decide to end it like that, i would like to see the build up through the season for aemond preparing to take aegon's role.

i want to see nettles soon! and alys rivers too. but i think they might leave them to season 3? OR NOT! maybe they'll have ten years between one episode and the other. who knows. MAYBE season 2 will end with rhaenyra taking king's landing and sitting on the iron throne. in which case there is literally nothing i want to see more than this scene.

basically i want everything lol i'm greedy!!!! how about you. what do you want to see.

[wipbigbang]

I posted 1,170 times in 2022

That's 594 more posts than 2021!

399 posts created (34%)

771 posts reblogged (66%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@strangelock221b

@wipbigbang

@onthesandsofdreams

@lareinadehades

@reading-wanderer

I tagged 1,165 of my posts in 2022

#!other stuff - 386 posts

#signal boost - 248 posts

#wip big bang - 194 posts

#wipbb2022 - 186 posts

#!2022 - 184 posts

#fandom event - 159 posts

#writer's humor - 112 posts

#!admin - 93 posts

#omg this - 91 posts

#fanfiction - 85 posts

Longest Tag: 66 characters

#birds of prey and the fantabulous emancipation of one harley quinn

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

And it has begun! Feel free to use this form to sign your fics up for the 2022 round of WIP Big Bang!

67 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

#4

The 2022 round of WIP Big Bang is now open for sign-ups! Any fandom is welcome, as long as the fic is 500 completed so far and will be at least 7,500 words upon its finishing. Signing up is easy: just fill out the form linked below after you read the FAQ and take a look at the schedule.

FAQ/Schedule - https://wipbigbang.tumblr.com/post/678815043677241344/2022-schedule-faq

Sign-Up Form - https://forms.gle/k57xZtDTdXaD5V9X6

70 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#3

Mod Ragna Needs Some Help

Hi! I hate to ask this, but my fan keeps dying on me, and I need two for my room to get a cross breeze. I’m also in dire need of cat litter, cat food, plastic cutlery and the cat box for my mom’s bathroom. All of these items and more that would be a huge help are on my Amazon wishlist at https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2IYLMSXNYF5HY?ref_=wl_share

I also need monetary help. I have a ton of loans to cover and I may lose my housing if I don’t get them covered by the first. My pinned post on @mousedetective has the specifics, but if anyone can help even a little, my PayPal is https://href.li/?https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/penaltywaltz

I’m really sorry to post this here but I have nowhere else to turn. Even reblogging would be a huge help. Thank you!

74 notes - Posted July 17, 2022

#2

WIP Tag Game

Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs (or as many peeps as you want, really- ‘tis just for fun!)

93 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

2022 Schedule + FAQ

Schedule

All times are by 8:59pm PST. Convert time zones.

Sign-ups Begin- April 1st Sign-ups Close- April 21st Check In #1- April 22nd Check In #2- May 15th Snippets Due- June 1st to June 17th Art Claims Begin- June 21st Check In #3- June 22nd Check In #4- July 6th Rough Drafts Due- July 15th Posting Claims Begin- July 23rd Posting Claims Ends- August 1st Final Drafts/Art Due- August 7th Posting Starts- August 8th]

FAQ

What is the WIP Big Bang? Good question! This is a Big Bang with one goal in mind: to clean out your fanfic drafts folder. These are stories that were unfinished for whatever reason, that authors returned to and completed, and the art that goes with them!

Do I need a Livejournal/Dreamwidth/AO3/etc. account to participate? No! You don’t have to have an account on anything to participate, though you will need to have somewhere to post your finished work. Having one or more accounts will help for you to follow what is going on with the bang (we crosspost to Livejournal, Dreamwidth, Tumblr, and Twitter at the moment), but they are not required to participate. You can always leave comments anonymously or with an opensource ID.

How many fics can we sign up for? We absolutely don’t mind multiple sign-ups. I know one year someone submitted 50 fics to finish, and got at least half of them done. We just ask that when you sign up with more than one fic you give each fic a unique user ID (please do not use the same ID for all your fics...it’s important to have different IDs for the check-ins).

Will I get emails about the bang? We do send out some emails, mostly for snippets and art claims and to ensure communication between authors and artists, but please do NOT rely on getting an email to remind you of due dates. We currently do not keep an updated email list of participants, so we only send individual emails as needed rather than mass emails.

However, email is the fastest way to communicate with the mods. If you have any questions or are having trouble communicating with your artist/author, please do email us! We will do our best to respond quickly.

What do you mean by minimum word count to enter? This is a WIP Big Bang, therefore we ask you to have at least 500 words of your story drafted when you enter.

Can an outline count towards those first 500 words that are needed at sign up? We have admitted work on an outline before so yes, if your outline is fleshed out enough to cover a 7,500 word+ fic, we’ll allow it.

Are multi-chapter fics allowed? Yes, multi-chapter fics are allowed and even more so encouraged if your fic is lengthy.

What about fics that are already posted on ao3 in part? Do those qualify for the bang? It's okay if you have posted a few chapters of your fic already (you never know when the muse deserts you, after all), we just require you to refrain from posting more until posting begins here. All we ask is that you not post any public updates to the fic until August 1st (or July 1st with the mod’s okay). We don’t want you to lose kudos and comments so don’t worry about pulling the fic down, just hold off on updates for now.

Is there a minimum word count? 7,500 words for each finished fic, but the sky's the limit, right?

I see that the fic minimum is 7500 words and that published WIPs are acceptable - but what if the WIP I’m considering is already more than 7500 words? Is the expectation to add an additional 7500 to it? No. You can add as much or as little as you need to finish the story, though we do expect at least 1,000 or so new words if your WIP already meets the word count.

What happens if an author finishes the fic they signed up with but it’s less than 7,500 words? The intent was to go over the minimum but once they got into it the story was shorter than they thought and stretching it out would make it less good. Do they have to drop out at that point? By all means, we want your stories to feel as natural as possible, and if it’s under 7,500 words you may have two options:

1 - Drop the fic for the main BB event, post it now, and wait to post it to our AO3 collection in February when we run our International Fanworks Day celebration of finishing fics that are less than 7,500 words when finished. There’s no art for the fic, but bragging rights are posted to the communities for a week.

2 - If there are enough fics that fit that category, we can do a special day of posting the fics, but you’ll have to forgo art for the fic. I, as a mod, would probably pick September 30th for the posting day, as it’s the last day of posting for the bang and I don’t think anyone will mind more than one fic that day. You can post bragging rights to the community and share the fic with everyone.

Is there anything not allowed? As long as you wrote it and you want to finish it, you're welcome to participate. RPS/RPF is fine. Incest pairings are fine. Things like that I know have been hinted at in questions asked and as long as you tag for them, we’ll allow it. Also, canon settings with mostly OCs is allowed. We just ask that it be tagged properly with any content warnings you would deem fit and be given the appropriate rating for the level of sex/violence there is in the fic.

Original Work was not originally part of this Bang, but as there are not any current Original Fiction Big Bangs running (that we are aware of), we may revisit that next year.

I have a fic I wrote a few years ago, but only the first couple chapters are posted on AO3 because I was never happy with the rest of it and knew it needed major revision. Is that something I could use for WIP Big Bang? The entire fic has been posted, but only on one platform, and it would be rewritten for AO3 and WIPBB.

I think revising a fic for posting would work, as long as you have at least 500 words done, will have 7,500 words at a minimum when it’s done, and are planning to add more to the fic. Simply rewriting what you have would be a gray area, but if you’re going to take stuff out and add new scenes, either in the old scenes place or on your own, you should be fine.

What's the etiquette around OC-centric stories? Ones that are set in a well known fandom and use several characters, but still lean a lot on original characters? Are they discouraged, or fine?

Based on my own personal experience making art for a story that had a heavy OC presence, it’s not something we discourage at all, but be forewarned when it comes to the art accompanying your fic your artist may not be able to incorporate the OCs into your art. Not everyone makes art of a hand-drawn or digitally drawn nature, so it helps if you have people for face claims ahead of art submissions, and you and your artist communicate regularly. You can also end up with art not featuring the OCs at all, just the canon characters, which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Your other options are to bring in an artist you trust with your vision of your OC/make your own art (we do allow that, we just need to be told during the check-in before art that you’re bringing in your own artist if you go that route, or that you’re doing your own art…there will not be a need to sign up in the artist’s sign up, however) or to opt-out of art entirely. So there’s plenty of options to call on when it comes time for art.

What are 'check-ins’? These are a way for us to see what you've been up to and for you to make sure you're still on track. It will give you a little nudge/reminder if you need it, but they are not compulsory. Basically a form is posted that you fill out with your user ID (unique for each fic) and a checkbox to let us know you’re still participating, plus a section for any notes for the mods.

They’re usually up for about a week, so don’t worry if you can’t check-in immediately once the forms go live.

How are the check in IDs used? They are solely for the mods organizational purposes. Each ID being for a separate story allows us to keep all the information you submit during check-ins and for snippets in one line on our spreadsheet. You don’t have to share your check in IDs with anyone else if you don’t want to.

How much progress should authors be making between each checkpoint? (Percentage-wise from our estimated total wc, I guess?) Ideally, with each check-in, you should be at least 25% closer to finishing. The end word count only really matters in that the fic needs to be at least 7,500 words when done, so it’s more your progress towards finishing that should be measured, not so much the word count.

See the full post

464 notes - Posted March 15, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[marshallpupfan]

Rare Marshall Items

Considering the numerous amounts of merchandise Spin Master releases each year of PAW Patrol, some items end up becoming rare and hard to find as the years go by. Being a collector of Marshall merchandise, you can imagine I run into this quite often.

Case in point, the "Marshall & Chickaletta Rescue Set". Here in the USA, sellers on Ebay often charge around $75-$200, depending on if it's new or used (I imported mine from the United Kingdom, and even though the shipping was high, I still saved money). The figurine of Marshall on a skateboard, though nowhere near as rare, is still yet another hard to obtain item that often costs a high price, too.

But with these two figurines, even though I had to pay a lot of money, at least I could find a few on Ebay. The price was the only hurdle. Unfortunately, there are items out there that are so rare, I haven't seen them listed a single time on sites like Amazon or Ebay since I started my collection over three years ago. Sometimes I can barely even find pictures of them at all! Yeah, they're THAT rare!

One such item is this Good2Grow bottle topper of a winking Marshall. These were available for a short time, but now they're, as the website puts it, "in the vault"... which is a fancy way of saying they're not sold in stores anymore. For a while, I honestly started to wonder if they even existed at all, until a user on Discord was kind enough to show me a picture of the one they own (and they also admitted it took them forever to find one). I hope I can get as lucky someday, too...

This Christmas ornament, an item I talked about last year on my "Marshall Merchandise Wishlist", is yet another I've never seen since starting my collection. Sadly, considering how fragile Christmas ornaments are, finding one that's not broken is likely going to be extremely difficult. If I ever do find one that's in one piece... oh, you can imagine I'll be so ecstatic!

Marshall's Pup-Fu outfit is one of my favorites, and I so desperately want to find one of these. Unfortunately, I know so little about it. I can't even say if it's ever been sold in the United States or not! In fact, I don't even know where this picture came from! Out of all the rare items, I have a bad feeling it's the one I'll probably never see.

Then again, who knows! Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll find a super-rare item on Ebay, and for a good price, too! I might even find one at a Flea Market or a yard sale! Granted, my luck's never been that great, but... hey, you never know!

Have any of you ever seen any of these items? Or, is there an item, regardless of its rarity, that you hope to own some day?

[deaneverafter]

Do You Love An Apple

Okay, so I have a lot of thoughts about the episode, and I have no qualms making that everyone's problem 🤣

First things first, Sheriff Beau Arlen has my whole heart, he really does. He's funny, but he never lets that get in the way of the job. His punch list, when he told Jenny she could take the lead on the naked man running, when he joked about Tonya's picture, to ease the tension. I asked for one nickname for Poppernak every week, I got three ✊🏻 His back and forth with Denise was funny (and for the people who are calling it inappropriate on his part, please rewatch the scene, and see who started it 🤦🏻‍♀️). Denise and Deputy Popcorn meeting up and starting the Sheriff Beau Fanclub is definitely officially on my wishlist.

His relationship with Jenny is everything to me, it really is. I like how he tried to get her to talk about Tonya, and when seriously asking her didn't work, he tried to offer help. But at the same time, I can see that right now, they're still at the stage of keeping each other at arm's length, with her not talking about the things she maybe would as much, like Tonya, and him also holding back a little, like about Carla (I must ask, why does he think Jenny and Carla wouldn't get along? I'm going to go with my "Carla is a mean girl" theory). And I can understand why. Before, I was a bit miffed about Jenny being left out of movie nights, not because of any romantic reasons even, but because I just felt bad about her being sad. That's her best friend and her new boss. But having seen it, with Beau and Cassie having a sibling-like dynamic, and Beau and Jenny still being more professional, with the sparks and chemistry and flirting and gazing only coming out of the cracks for now, I can see why that dynamic would be developed first. And I can see why things are professional-adjacent with Beau and Jenny for now, because clearly they get into some very dangerous situations, and I can understand both of them not wanting to mix in the personal. That, however, just makes my angst loving self want them to get together even more, fall for each other despite all the reasons they think they shouldn't, because I really think that makes for an interesting dynamic, juggling the personal and professional, and they would be so good together. This time when she put herself in danger, he was mad and he told her it was because she didn't follow protocol. Would not mind a rehash of that when he gets annoyed and tells her it's simply because he doesn't want her to get hurt.

I loved how he was able to help Jenny calm down enough at the arrest to let the prisoner say goodbye to her kid. But it also made me sad for him, because it sounded like he was speaking from experience (would not be surprised if there was a time when Carla had just taken Emily and told him nothing). And it made me even angrier in light of this, when Emily ignored him. I'm sorry, but the nicest way I can put it is that she's a brat. This is an man who left everything behind, his whole life, just to move to the middle of nowhere, to be closer to her. If he hadn't been called in to be sheriff, he would've been doing nothing, had no friends around, nothing to do. The least she can do is pick up the phone. And in front of Avery at that. She essentially humiliated him in front of her stepdad, and I wouldn't be surprised if Avery brings it up in front of Beau, just to twist that knife in deeper. Which brings me to the next point. I am really, really not liking this "Beau is still carrying a torch for Carla" thing. He's already being humiliated by his kid, I don't need to see him also get humiliated running after a woman who left him for another guy. The only logical reason for that story point to be a thing, is if it's to show him getting over her. I'm already not liking Carla from everything we've heard about her so far, and all that aside, the fact is, she didn't love him, and she moved on. It's not fun to see him just running after her, being the fourth wheel in their happy little family, especially when neither Carla, and not even Emily, seem to particularly care about him. My hope for that storyline is that, with his new job, new friends, being able to talk it out with Cassie, and eventually Jenny and not just sitting pining in a cabin, he can move on from the divorce, and be open to the chance for happiness again (with Jenny, for example, hint hint). Jenny wouldn't ditch him for a rich guy, at the first sign of trouble, we have proof enough of that by how she stuck with Cody, even despite being separated, how she worked to avenge him and honour him, even though she knew he'd moved on. Carla left him, even if something happens between her and Avery now, Beau deserves better than to be anyone's backup plan. And Beau wouldn't just ditch the woman he was with and start dating her friend, he's loyal to a fault, he followed his ex and his kid to the middle of nowhere, left his whole life behind, even though neither of them seem to appreciate. And that is reason 116161727 that Beau and Jenny should be endgame. They both have loyalty, and they wouldn't do each other dirty like that. I did enjoy Jenny and Cassie trying to be there for him about the Emily situation. And, if one day we get vindication with Beau finally getting over Carla, maybe when she tries to get back with him, him realizing that he deserves much, much better, I will enjoy that immensely. And I'm not here for someone putting Jenny second place and running off with a different woman a third time, AND Beau deserves better than to be with someone who already left him once, so any reconciliation between Beau and Carla, it's a no from me.

I also liked Beau and Jenny's cute, lighthearted moments, like when he pointed to Deputy Potpie and said "help him". The barely veiled annoyance, but also the humour, I loved it. The way during movie night, she just took his cushion and he let her, it felt so familiar that I might've felt that one go directly in my heart. And of course, the car scene. The heart eyes, the jealousy disguised as teasing from Jenny, I can get behind that. Plus, we see Jenny didn't deny the wranglers comment from Denise, so someone's been checking him out 👀🤣 In conclusion, the verdict is, Beau and Jenny should be endgame, your honour.

This is also the second time in as many episodes that Beau has mentioned his brother, and I for one, would like to meet that brother. I think it would be really interesting to see his parents, his siblings, how they feel about him moving out here, how they feel about Carla (I'm going to go with them not being big fans).

We didn't get to see Jenny's mom this episode, but I'm really looking forward to that backstory. I'm also wondering if, with Cassie being a bit more okay with Tonya, and Jenny still being really angry, if this is something that's going to cause problems in their relationship.

I am kind of sad that Cassie and Lindor aren't a thing anymore, I'd liked their relationship, and it was such a slowburn, but, I guess now things are open with Cormac, and that has the potential to be really interesting. Is he a bad guy, is he just stuck in the middle, who knows, but with Cassie being a PI, this could get complicated. And I would like to see it.

Another question, the guy living in the forest is Sunny's son, but is he also Buck's son, or is this something that resulted from a different relationship, perhaps the one she was talking about with Paige?

I also really enjoyed the two minutes of Mark. He didn't have a lot to do, but he looked happy enough on his little adventure, and then scared enough, that even though we know practically nothing about him, it made us care when he fell off the cliff.

Concluding notes, I'm excited to see more of Beau's backstory with the cartel in Texas, I'm excited for Jenny's backstory, and I'm really hoping to see their relationship develop together, from something professional to something closer and hopefully romantic. Aka, when will they realize they should be together!? What other reason is there for Jenny to be having some feelings about Beau and Cassie hanging out, and what other reason is there for Beau to think it would be weird for her? 🤔👀

One moment of thirsty on main, I like that they don't put him in 90 layers of shirts at all times, you can see his guns 🤣 and his freckles are also visible 🥺 and the swoosh! 🥰🔥

[bokutosworld]

hey, you’re warm | sakusa k. 

pairing: sakusa kiyoomi x f!reader 

wc: 1.8k words, fluff. little bit of angst, reader is heartbroken on christmas that’s sad. 

summary: You’ve accepted that you'd be alone for Christmas. It was a surprise to find your best friend standing right outside your doorsteps.

this is part of the winter wonderland collab! you may check out the other stories here!

---

"The busy streets of Shibuya seem to be livelier than usual as families, friends, and couples gather to celebrate the Christmas Eve. And it seems that the night will become even more special as we are expecting a beautiful snowfall. So be sure to bundle up if you're planning to spend the evening with your loved ones outside."

The news coming from the television is the only sound that fills the empty apartment. Who would've thought that you would be wasting away the merriest time of the year all alone and cocooned in your one-bedroom flat? You certainly didn't think that a week ago, when you were looking forward to the exciting festivities you have planned for you and your boyfriend. You certainly didn't see it coming when he abruptly ended things, leaving you heartbroken, confused, and insecure. At least he didn't just disappear out of the blue, you consoled yourself.

But still that thought was enough to make you shake your head in sadness and take a sip from your chocolate drink that has now turned as cold as your heart. Clutching your robe closer to your body, you peered at the street below and looked at the number of people who were happily strolling. You see couples holding hands, families with their matching sweaters and mufflers, even groups of teenagers running about town and spreading the holiday cheer.

A glance at the wall clock tells you that it's only 8:45 PM, still a little early for you to hit the bed. But it wasn't as if you had anything eventful planned for the rest of the night. After you downed the rest of your drink in one go, you walked to the kitchen to wash your mug. You just turned off the lights in the living room when the ringing of the doorbell startled you from your forlorn thoughts.

You didn't think anything about it at first. Maybe it was the Christmas carolers wishing you a happy holidays and asking for some generous donations. You figured they would leave if you didn't pay them attention so you resigned yourself to your bedroom.

But the buzzing did not stop, even if you were already tucked in the comforts of your warm bed. You groaned and pulled yourself up, almost stomping on the way to the door to see who was so incessant on disturbing your peace on Christmas Eve. You didn't expect to see the masked face of your best friend, Sakusa Kiyoomi.

The two of you stood in the doorway for a few minutes, just staring at each other with blank looks on your faces. Kiyoomi shivers from the cold, his breathing ragged. His eyes narrowed at you, "Are you not going to invite me in? It's cold outside."

"Oh, right," you chuckled, moving to the side to make way for him. You closed the door and turned around to see him taking off his shoes and dusting some snowflakes that have fallen on his jacket. You extend a hand to take his scarf and jacket, hanging them on the rack near the door.

"Didn't you have a thing with your teammates tonight?" You asked when you notice the gym bag that he always carries around. As soon as he puts them down, Kiyoomi makes himself comfortable on your couch, stretching his legs and leaning back on the headrest with his eyes closed.

He hums, "Yeah. We had dinner at the izakaya downtown but I didn't want to go with them to the bar." When he sees the judging look on your face, he was quick to say, "Stop. You know how I hate crowds. And it's too cold for me to go anywhere."

"I wasn't saying anything." You toss him the remote to the television, a silent invitation for him to choose what he wants to watch. "Do you want a drink? I have orange juice, milk, and wine."

"I'll take wine, thanks." From the kitchen, you can hear him flipping through the channels, a dissatisfied grunt often leaving him when he sees that a cheesy holiday movie is showing. You go out to the living room, bringing two glasses of wine and a plate of some biscuits, just in time to see that he has opened Netflix. "Should we watch the new true crime documentary?"

You nod, "Yeah, sure. I'm down with whatever." As soon as the familiar ta-dum sound begins, you cozy up next to him on the couch, holding your wine glass and focusing your eyes on the screen. Nights like these weren't uncommon to you and Kiyoomi. For as long as you can remember, the two of you have been by each other sides all throughout high school and college. He's always been your constant support system, and you were the same to him.

So it wasn't that much of surprise to you when he nonchalantly throws an arm over your shoulders, bringing you closer to his body. You hum contentedly, leaning in to his warmth and you take in that familiar soft scent of vanilla and sandalwood. It's comforting and soon, you find yourself close to drifting off to sleep, your head falling to his chest and being lulled by the erratic beating of Kiyoomi's heart.

But the nap doesn't happen when Kiyoomi, out of nowhere, murmurs, "I'm disappointed with this setup. It's so lonely in here, there's not even a single mistletoe, ornament or stocking hung up." His statement completely pulls you out of your drowsy state and you muster all your energy to glare at him.

"I don't really feel like celebrating." Your voice weakens as you say the second part, "Besides, I'm all alone anyway." But of course, Kiyoomi doesn't miss it.

The movie serves as background noise at this point. He seems to ponder on something, his mind bringing him back to years ago when he would come to your family house whenever you felt upset. He reminisces on how his younger self used to cheer you up, his photographic memory pulling up scenes of you and him playing board games until the wee hours of the night. Until you finally felt happy again.

"Hey, do you still have that jenga with you? His question was puzzling, prompting you to look up at him with a perturbed look. He chuckles, his voice deep as he teases you, "Why are your eyebrows creased like that? It's not like I asked you a difficult question." A hand is raised, and before you know it, Kiyoomi has playfully hit your forehead.

"With that attitude, I am not bringing that game out." You grumble, pushing off him to massage the spot that he hit. He was giggling now, and it was a sight that only you have always been blessed with. It was only in your presence that he seemed to relax and show his true self.  And this thought helps uplift your dampened spirit. "Alright, wait here. I'll get the jenga."

Five rounds in, zero wins for you, zero loses for Kiyoomi.

"Can't you show a girl some mercy, 'Omi," you complain after losing five straight games. Were you so unlucky in life that even in simple games you can't get a win? That thought drained you and you reach out for the bottle of wine to refill your glass.

Kiyoomi watches as you pour another serving. "It's because you are always drinking that you can't get your mind straight enough to play." You know he's just looking out for you and your low alcohol tolerance, so you find no ill intentions behind his words. He moves to snatch the wine from your grasp, but you were quicker to hide it behind your back. You stuck out your tongue at him.

He sighs, "Shall we go for another round?"

"Of wine or jenga?"

He stands up, going over to your side and offering a hand out to you. "Actually, that's enough of both for tonight." He drags you up to him, making you stand on wobbly feet and guiding you to the bedroom. You were whining almost all the way to your room, complaining like a little child who has not been given a gift from their Christmas wishlist.

Kiyoomi did not mind your playful punches and tugging on his shirt though. He was used to your antics. He didn't find it hard to tuck you in your bed, fluffing the pillow to make it comfortable and pulling the blanket over your body. He smiles when a contented expression takes over your features and he debates tucking the strand of hair that obstructs his clear view of your eyes.

Just when he thought you've finally calmed down, your eyes shoot open and it startles him a little. You grin, "Do you want to join me in bed, Kiyoomi?"

You always had a way with your words, sober or not. And at this moment, Kiyoomi has half a mind to jump in and cuddle with you until morning breaks. He almost says yes, but he remembers he was still in his outside clothes. He ruffles your hair, "Let me wash up first."

The hot shower that Kiyoomi takes in the bathroom allows him some time to think about the decisions he has made that led him in your apartment tonight. He recalls the first few hours he spent in the company of his teammates. But majority of that time was spent worrying over you.

Though you didn't outrightly mention it to him, Kiyoomi was not as oblivious to turn a blind eye to your heartbreak. When you texted him a week ago about your breakup, he constantly cursed the stupid jerk in his head. How could he have let go of such an amazing person like you? He lightly punches the wall, his fists curling as he remembers the face of your ex. As much as he'd like to drag his sorry ass to hell, he worried about you and it surprised him and his teammates when he immediately ran to the direction of your home.

After turning off the faucet, he steps out and steam fills the room. He dries his hair and wears the hoodie and shorts that he always keeps in your apartment. When he returns to your bedroom, he sees you sound asleep. He turns the rest of the lights off and carefully slides in to your side.

He's shocked when you turn and snuggle closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and burying your face in his chest. He gently strokes your head and the action stirs you lightly awake. "Hmm, you're warm," he hears you mumble.

Kiyoomi sighs in content and he thinks that he made the right decision coming to your aide tonight. He envelops you in his embrace and presses a kiss on the top your head, "You will never be alone. You'll always have me."

He doesn't mind spending Christmas like this with you. From now and forever. 

FIN. taglist - @aii-channn​ @peteunderoos​ @jungtoast @nekoclysm​ @our-tall-slytherin-queen​ @isabella5 @slippinglasses​ @yhyucklee @rowley-with-ackerman​ @lilacnoodles @ineedsomefoodpls (can’t tag those in italics!)

[kyean]

Chapter 20: The Best Party Ever

Summary: A chance meeting that all started with almond butter

Pairing: Jean Kirstein x black!fem!reader

Warnings: none really, Hitch being a menace, a little bit of fluff at the end

Word Count: 2275

A/N: I literally have no idea how many chapters are going to be left lmfao, I’m gonna guess about 5 more roughly, it depends on how much I want to write

Masterlist

The kids are excited that they’re free from school, Cole spends most of the time trying to stay up as late as he can, but always knocks out at around ten o’clock, while Alyssa spends more time painting. Cole’s counting down the days until his birthday, crossing off the days on his calendar until the day gets here. He never told Jean what he wanted for his birthday, but Jean didn’t really think he would have any trouble figuring out what to get him.

Cole is wide awake when his birthday comes, barging into your room and waking up you and Jean after Alyssa shoved him when he woke her up. “Do you feel any older?” you ask him, and he stops for a second to think.

“Not yet,” he decides, making you laugh. He’s more than ecstatic that Jean’s still here when he came into the room, and for him, that’s the best present he could ask for. Cole wasn’t sure if he wanted a party or not, claiming that he “might be getting too old for parties, Mom” which makes you roll your eyes fondly.

You cook him breakfast, and he’s almost too excited to eat, talking about everything that he wants to do for his birthday. You had taken a peek at his reading wishlist that he had made, and you had gotten about four of the books that he wanted, his reaction practically lighting up the room when he opens the gift. He’s so immersed in the books, starting to read one as soon as he finished eating, that he didn’t even notice what was going on in the backyard.

He’s nowhere near aware of his surroundings, being brought out of his reading when he sees Jonas standing in the living room. “Jonas?” The frown on his face is deep, putting the book down as he gets off of the couch. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here for your party. Duh.” Cole looks around the room, seeing that the house looks the same, and he follows Jonas out into the backyard. When the decorations start to come into view, he runs past him and out of the door, standing on the porch as he admires the party.

Jean decided to host a surprise party for him, the entire yard decorated with a soccer theme. There’s a tent where the kids would be eating, a table full of snacks. On the other side of the yard, there’s a giant soccer goal, and there are kids playing goalie and kicking the ball into the net. In the middle of the yard, there’s a huge dunk tank.

You come up to your son, putting a party hat on his head. “Happy birthday, Cole!” He hasn’t stopped smiling since he stepped outside, still taking in the scene.

“What do you think, Cole?” Jean asks, party hat adorning his head as well.

“It’s awesome!” he nearly screams.

“You said you weren’t sure if you wanted a party, but I decided to give you one anyway,” Jean explains, and Cole jumps into him, thanking him loudly before running off to join his teammates.

“I gotta say, Jean,” Hitch says, walking up to the both of you. “You really outdid yourself,” she compliments.

This is definitely the biggest party Cole’s ever had, Jean putting the whole together after running it by you. You texted the parents of his soccer team and the parents of his friends at school, getting together a list of who all was coming. Jean built the soccer goal, which is going to stay there, having to get Niccolo, Eren, and Connie to help him put it in place.

“Thanks, Hitch, but what’s with the dunk tank?” he asks, and you all look at it, seeing a couple of the parents filling it with water.

“Well, I thought it would be cool if we had a soccer-themed dunk tank,” she says.

“Who’s going in it?” he presses, and you scoff as a smirk appears on her face. She lifts the box that’s in her hands into view.

“The winner is about to be announced. It was between you and Erwin.” You and Hitch laugh together as Jean frowns in curiosity. “Well, you two are the hottest dads out here. The moms can have some fun too,” she muses. You hold the box while she starts counting the votes, and Erwin makes his way over to you all, already knowing about the fact that he and Jean were finalists.

She tallies the votes up on her phone as she takes them out, and she shows you the result before she tells them, and they watch as the both of you break out into hysterics. You flip over the last vote, the letter “J” written on it, and Jean groans as he lets his head fall back.

“And the winner is…” Hitch teases, and when Jean looks back at her, she already has the clothes for him to change into in her hands. He lazily takes them before making his way into the house.

“I’m relieved,” Erwin sighs, and you shake your head at the fact that Hitch even managed to do this. You help Jean get into the booth, chuckling while you do because he still has the party hat on, and by the time he sits down, Hitch has gathered everybody around.

“You got a dunk tank, Auntie Hitch?!” Cole questions excitedly.

“Yes, I did, Mr. Birthday Boy,” she says. “But here’s the twist. You guys have to kick the ball at the target to get our very willing participant, Jean, into the water,” she explains, which makes the moms cheer even louder than the kids, making you laugh, having to hold your stomach.

The kids all lineup, and Jean waits until that moment that he hits the water. He feels his heart jump every time one of the kids kicks the ball right next to the target, and he gives you a fake annoyed look when he sees you taking pictures. The more they miss, the more he starts to wish that someone would just hit the target already because he’s starting to get nervous. Jonas lets Cole get in front of him, and Cole gets focused before kicking the ball, the signature dinging sound ringing as the seat falls out from Jean.

You and Hitch are crying at this point, watching him fall into the water, the surprised look on his face right before he goes under making you cackle even louder. He stands up, and the crowd goes wild as Jean wipes the water from his face. “Ladies, ladies, settle down,” Hitch jokes. “But I am taking bets for two in a row,” she says quietly, and you roll your eyes as Erwin sets the tank back up again.

Jonas is next, and Jean and Erwin are confident that he’ll hit the target, so Jean prepares himself to go back into the water, and even though he expects it, it still shocks him when he falls back in. The kids all cheer in triumph and they all let Cole and Jonas keep kicking, and Jean goes into the water multiple times in a row. You have to sit down after a while because you can’t stand upright without laughing.

Hitch eventually gives Jean a break much to the kids’ dismay, but they all cheer when Erwin gets on it next, all of them lining up this time to see if they can hit the target. “I think you enjoyed that more than I did,” Jean says to you when you walk up as he wrings out his shirt. “That water is colder than it looks,” he adds with a shiver.

“It looked like you were having fun,” you say around a laugh. “You made quite a lot of money, though,” you add. “Hitch said that she’d split it with us.” He laughs with you, and you give him a towel, using it to dry his arms and his hair, knowing that there’s no point in trying to dry off anything else, and you put the party hat back on his head.

With the kids more determined, Erwin ends up falling into the water more than Jean does, and you both watch as the kids cheer loudly every time he does. The dunk tank becomes the only thing the kids want to play with, having a hard time trying to get them to all sit down so they can eat. Cole sits at the end of the table, everyone singing happy birthday after they’ve eaten. You cut the cake as Jean and Hitch hand out the plates to all the kids, and you can’t help but take even more pictures.

The party's still in full swing, the parents hoping that this will tire their kids out, and Jean and Erwin have changed to dry clothes as you all watch Cole. You don't even know if you've ever seen him this happy, and that's saying something because he's always been a cheerful kid.

The emotion is taking over again, and Jean softly catches your attention. "What's wrong?" You look at him, realizing that tears are about to fall from your eyes, and you wipe them before they can. You huff softly as you shake your head, glancing at Cole before you speak.

"I think this is the happiest Cole has ever been," you start. "Porco leaving hurt him more than he let on, and I think both him and Alyssa put on a front for me, and..." You trail off, at a loss for words. "Thank you, Jean. Seriously."

He kisses you softly on your forehead, pulling you into a quick but tight hug. "You're welcome. It was the least I could do."

"What do you mean?" He smiles softly, lacing his fingers with yours as he leans down to kiss you on the lips.

"I'll tell you, I swear. I'm just waiting for the right time." You squint slightly at his words, but then Cole's running up to the both of you.

"Jean, come on! The parents are playing now!" He doesn't let him respond, grabbing his wrists and pulling him away from you. The parents play against the kids until the parents are ready to turn it in for the night, and all of them are obviously bummed about it, but they also look like they'll fall asleep on the way home.

Everyone gives Cole one last happy birthday before they leave, Hitch, Erwin, and Jean helping you clean up the party. Surprisingly, Cole still has energy left, all of you migrating into the house. Hitch, Erwin, and Jonas leave shortly after, and to Cole's surprise, Eren and Connie stop by.

"Connie!? What are you doing here?" He jumps into him, nearly knocking the present he has out of his hand.

"It's your birthday, of course, I had to stop by." He hands it to him, and Cole quickly rips the wrapping paper off, gasping when he sees it's a new soccer ball. "As someone who's played soccer, I can only give you the best," he muses, and Cole's eyes widen.

"You play soccer too?"

"Yes, sir. Captain in high school, and vice-captain in college," he says begrudgingly. Eren gets him some new shin guards since Jean mentioned that he noticed that he's never seen him wear them, and Cole walks up to Jean, who's close to falling asleep on the couch, the soccer ball still tight in his grip.

"Is the goal going to be gone tomorrow?" he asks, a hint of sadness in his voice, and Jean shakes his head.

"Nope. I built it for you."

"And it's staying there," Eren adds, and Cole's beaming again, jumping into Jean to give him a hug.

"Seriously?! You're the best dad ever!" He's pulling Connie outside to go play with him, and Jean's grateful to a certain extent because his stamina isn't what it used to be, so now he has someone else to tire out.

They play until the sun goes down, and it takes you some effort to get Cole into the shower. He falls asleep as soon as he's dressed and in the bed, and you can't help but smile fondly as you kiss his forehead before turning out the light and closing the door softly behind you.

Jean's already gotten in the shower and into bed, his eyes barely staying open when you walk in. He lazily pulls you into him when you slide in next to him. "You seem tired," you tease, and he responds with a soft huff.

"I'm drained," he sighs. "I always think that I can keep up with Cole, but he still somehow always has more energy." You laugh quietly, nodding your head.

"I don't know where it comes from either. But I think he was just really excited," you say. "That was the biggest party he's ever had." You move your head back so that you can look at him, and he's eyes are still droopy, but he's smiling. "Thank you," you whisper, feeling like you have to say it again. "I know you said I don't owe you or anything, but you do so much for them, and I just--"

You really don't know what to say, and he moves to kiss you softly. "You're welcome," he says warmly. "And I'll keep doing it. For them and for you. You all deserve the world."

You feel your face grow warm as you struggle to keep your smile small. "I love you, Jean."

"Love you too, baby," he murmurs before pulling you back into him, sighing heavily. "G'night."

"Good night, Jean."

Chapter 19|Masterlist|Chapter 21