#:ardbertwalk:

[spirestar]

@heartinhands : ❛ i can't go any farther. i can't. ❜ (lelouch + suzaku)

Pathetic. Does he say it or only think it? In his heart stripped of everything but dedication to their goal, he can't find the compassion to care / Tells himself he can't: The best liars can lie to themselves enough that their fantasies becomes true. Suzaku Kururugi will die soon enough and any of his remaining mortal hopes will die, too. Stifling them down before then is necessary. Even though Nunnally is alive, one sin among so many that can be wiped clean, a life that he ended, that, if he allowed himself any glimpses into his own bleeding heart then he would accept, shifts the world with her every breath. Nothing can change for them and yet it all has. Of course he understands. But he has to lie to keep himself from drowning.

"Pathetic," and now he knows he's said it, his back turned to this Emperor he's sworn his loyalty and life to. Given up his own eternal rest for. "If this is enough to stop you, then I really never knew you." Or Nunnally, is a clear implication, too, in the way his shoulders square at attention and his fists clench at his sides. In another world, he could give his sympathy openly; A better universe where they've been brought to this moment without tearing each other apart. Bitterly, he rests a hand on the blade at his hip and turns halfway to face Lelouch / Always on his guard, ready to defend the man at a moment's notice with absolute precision whether he likes it or not. "Don't make me regret this. If you can't do this for her--" Cruel, cruel, cruel — Suzaku channels every one of the painful words spoken to him that once fueled him after Euphie's death into his cold-blooded tone. If it sounds like it hurts him too, that's because it does, and yet: "You should die here instead."