#/xue yang is incredibly difficult to describe imo because you can't rely on any categories other than 'edgy'

[veilchenjaeger]

please please please please make a case for the specific kind of dyke xue yang is pleaaaaase <3

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I am very, very tired, so I don't know how coherent I'm capable of being, but I'll try my best!

One interesting thing about Xue Yang is the way his non-conformity with societal rules works, because he imo utterly does not give a fuck about the society around him and the way he relates to it, outside of the fact that he doesn't fit in. (With some exceptions, of course.) I read him as kind of having an attitude that can be somewhat summarised in three points, which are:

Society expects certain things, and other people play the game of society by either conforming or not conforming to these things. Xue Yang is highly aware of societal expectations and moral ideals how they're in conflict with what people actually do. He sees through the elaborate dance of social norms and interactions, he knows all the steps, he just thinks it's a stupid dance.

He does whatever he wants. He's not bound by societal conventions in any way; he makes his decisions according to what does and doesn't feel good to him personally. (That isn't entirely true because he's still influenced by society, but I'd say it's mostly true.)

He is important; society and other people are not. He knows how he and his actions are seen and judged, but it doesn't matter, so he'll just go ahead doing what he does! (It does matter to him. Deep down, it does. But that's imo restricted to his anger and hurt at being considered worthless or monstrous, and not as related to any specific actions others judge him for.)

So, Xue Yang's style of non-conformity is drastically different from e.g. Song Lan's. Song Lan cares about society. He deliberately places himself in opposition to its norms, because he sees them as harmful and hopes to change that. Thus, he takes part in that dance, even though the steps he chooses are different. Like, even deliberate subversion of and non-conformity with societal norms in some way reproduce these norms. (Which in itself is a completely neutral thing; subversion and non-conformity are reactions to something and kind of depend on that thing existing in the first place.) Every action is a dialogue with society. And I don't necessarily think that Xue Yang isn't in a dialogue with society, but he goes about it in a different way. He doesn't choose his steps, he just moves, no matter whether he ends up going with the flow or not. He's currently on his way to the buffet table.

(Xiao Xingchen doesn't know the dance. He's stepped on Song Lan's feet thrice already.)

Introductory meta done. Now onto dyke Xue Yang.

To preface that, of course everyone who reclaims the term "dyke" is a dyke, no matter how they present. I'm going with this term partially because it is so vague, partially because it's connected to rebellion and has the same "You think I'm worthless and insult me? Fuck you, I'm going to own everything you despise me for so hard that you'll have no power at all over me" vibe Xue Yang has, and partially because, when used to describe an aesthetic rather than an individual person or a group, it evokes certain images for me that imo fit Xue Yang pretty well. If there's a more precise word for that aesthetic, I don't know it. I'm going to argue in favour of dyke aesthetic Xue Yang, and there are two main points I want to address.

One, Xue Yang's non-conformity is so volatile that I don't think it would fit into a certain category. There's something deliberate about things like being butch or femme, both in terms of these labels having a certain history in a community (I don't think Xue Yang would see herself as part of a queer community, at all) and in terms of the societal dance. It's a specific way of choosing your steps. For Song Lan, that sort of deliberate non-conformity works super well imo because canon Song Lan is so deliberate about the way he doesn't conform! For Xue Yang, I doubt she'd think about things like the way she performs her gender. It doesn't matter. She does what feels good, no matter whether that's inconsistent or fits into any categories. Again, I don't think Xue Yang has the drive to seek out other people who share her experiences or identify with anyone else, which is after all a part of giving the way you do queerness a specific label and arguably a part of openly performing that kind of queerness in the first place.

This isn't particularly uncommon or anything; most lesbians are neither butch nor femme. But on top of that, Xue Yang also doesn't give a shit about conforming or belonging to anything else, so I imagine that the way she looks is... maybe not blatantly, visibly queer? Because that would require her to want to look queer, but also not not visibly queer, because she'd entirely ignore cisheteronormative ideals of How To Dress.

Which brings us to the second point, which is the question of how removed from the dance of society Xue Yang actually is. Bc I think there are some things she would care about. Considering his CQL aesthetics especially, but also in the novel, Xue Yang is edgy! He named his sword Jiangzai! All the not giving a shit about society aside, there is one thing Xue Yang does imo care about performing, and that is the very fact that he doesn't give a shit about society. Which of course stems from the way he was harmed by the prevalent social structure and the hurt he compensates for with his blatant disregard for any kind of morals or propriety. So, like, dyke Xue Yang would still care about looking different, maybe in some way that seems somewhat dangerous and certainly in a way that gives a middle finger to everyone who'd disapprove.

And I genuinely think that might be anything! I can truly see Xue Yang dress in anything from a full biker suit to a 2014 Babymetal stage outfit - the crucial point imo is that she'd always look different, slightly to the left from anything you could give a name to or put your finger on. It would probably be something at least vaguely practical - she needs to be prepared to stab people and wouldn't want to be held back by her clothes of all things - but that's about it. I think that general vibe - neither truly GNC nor truly conforming to anything, neither masculine nor fully feminine nor deliberately androgynous, but always visibly different from the cishet norm - fits the term "dyke" pretty well.

Also, I just think she'd wear knockoff Doc Martens.