#/j but also a lot of the comics i do dislike are mostly blonde...

[dchuntress]

this is not a safe space for 90% of blond comics men

[thetaoofbetty]

Which do you dislike more? J*ronica or b*rchie? And why?

Okay first of all, hey hello how you? Hope it’s good, like, unicorns brought you breakfast in bed and fluffed your pillows while reading you your favorite story levels of good. 

Now, second of all, HOW DARE YOU? 

Whew, I’m glad we got that out of the way. 

So, I just want you to know you asked for it, right? Okay. Good. For me to answer this appropriately I need to take you on a little adventure. When I was but a wee smidge of a Smudge, I loved comics. You name it, I wanted to read it, and that includes Archie comics. Did I understand them fully? No. 

I’m putting the rest under a cut because it’s going to get absurd

Fast forward to a Pre-Pubescent Me, I finally figure out what Archie comics are about. And I’m pissed. By this point I had been raised with some out of the box (at the time) thinking, which includes having mostly brunette dolls because my dad didn’t want me to ever come up with a standard of beauty that I, as a brunette, could never reach since most of the dolls were blonde at the time. It also includes being told I could do anything I wanted to do and men weren’t a necessary component to happiness. 

(if you’re wondering if Puberty Me was a real pill, yeah, probably but I think we can also blame Alanis Morrissette for that too, so, meh)

What the real issue was, is that I loved Betty Cooper. Loved her. And she let me down so terribly by chasing Archie constantly even though he obviously preferred another girl. Here’s the deal. If any dude prefers another girl and only comes to me when no one else is available, he’s going to get a face full of door every time. Mama don’t play that game. 

I learned early on that men who want you, they will pursue you. Truly. You can make excuses for them if you want but eventually they’ll go for it if they really want you. 

Anyway, the point of the above is that it was obvious that Archie doesn’t want Betty. It was clear to me, so why couldn’t Betty see that?! 

And Jughead cares for Betty. Clearly. I honestly didn’t realize they weren’t together when I was younger, I just sort of glossed over it, sure, but Jughead was and is a great friend to Betty. 

That being said, and this is one of the truest things I’ll ever say- I prefer B*rchie if pressed to choose. (and I mean, threatening me with holding my brownie over the trash can style of shakedown. What kind of monster would even…?)

Why, you ask? 

Because I have a lot of comic stuff floating in my head and Jughead doesn’t like Veronica. I can’t imagine a scenario where they’ll work or where they’ll have chemistry. I’m not buying the J*ronica love of the opposites attract trope. It’s been done already. Know what they call it? 

Bughead. 

They want to sell you some sort of Gossip Girl Dair comparison but here’s the deal, that’s not even close to the same dynamic other than money and flannel. I’m getting away from my point, sigh. Okay. Ugh, honestly, I could go for days I think. Either way, show or comic, they are not compatible. They’re just not. 

Aside from the fact that Bughead are BEYOND monogamous in my head, Jughead just does not like Veronica. Is the feeling mutual? Yes. Now in the show, they’ve brought in a bit of the comic dynamic and I like it because it fits who they are in my opinion. 

Yes, I know, I make them friends in fics and I make them banter and try to trust each other but, and I really hope it comes across, it’s not because they want to, it’s because they both love Betty. Betty is often the only reason they associate in any way. You could say Archie would make that happen but I think they’d be fine with never speaking to each other even with Archie around. 

There’s a lot more I could say about it but I think you get the gist. At least Betty and Archie have a friendship, so yeah, I hate it but I could accept B*rchie before J*ronica. 

J*ronica might be the biggest notp I have and I refuse to read it, entertain it, consider it, or act like it doesn’t gross me out. Because, ew. That includes fics where it’s even mentioned, before Bughead, thought about, or even suggested. I have no patience for it, tbh.  

It not being tagged a few times in fics have been some of the most upset I’ve gotten in fics before. I dislike bad tagging in the first place (especially when my otp end up intimate with others and I get blindsided, that’s really dirty pool to readers) but to walk into that? A grudge until the end of time. 

So, really, there’s lots of reasons for my choice but honestly? I just really frigging hate J*ronica. 

I feel like I need to add a caveat to all of the above, I’m definitely a ship and let ship sort of person, if you like something I hate, that’s cool, we can just cross it off our things we talk about list. People will always be more important that fictional characters.