#/im a great cook/ LIES FANTASY DELUSIONERY!!!

[diodellet]

UWAAAAA ITS HEREEEE!!! LUKE MY BBY!!!! I love it so much🥺🥺 now im suddenly craving smth soupy to eat

the amount of times my heart was pinching!! too much!! (its either my caffeine addiction or my love for purgatory hall squad shenanigans) my heart is mushed up and my teeth are rotting from all this sweetness 😭😭😭

some of my favorite lines:

"They'll cook up fine, and once they're in the curry, no one will notice if they weren't cut up that nicely as long as the food tastes good."

PEARLS OF WISDOM?? UNPROVOKED??? dHMU IM POWER CRYING LUKE URE TOO GOOD FOR THE WORLD 🥹🥹🥹

Sure, it wasn't the juiciest of secrets, but you were happy with it. It felt right - like how the vegetables you picked out felt right or how the spices you added felt right.

THIS LINE HNGGGGGG singlehandedly blindsiding and KO'ing my perfectionism.

"When did you have time to do that?" you asked, stunned by what seemed to be the sudden appearance of a rice cooker on one of the counters. How had you not heard that going?

idk how to articulate it exactly,, but this detail was a really nice inclusion?? it makes the fic feel realistic, like MC still has lots to learn and room to grow in terms of cooking on their own. idk even if its mundane i loike it a lot ehe

++JUST.... THE ENTIRE SECRET SHARING WITH THE TOMATO HUHUHU im ready to cry into a bucket i really didnt expect there to be some sudden comforting moments sprinkled in.

++also shoutout to luke's "that's rhubarb" line for making me ugly laugh.

hiii! i just saw your requests are open and imagine my excitement!! bcs aaa i rlly really love your writings💕💕theyre such a treat to read, the shenanigans and character interactions are so captivatingly written that i am: Smitten

could i req: a short platonic fic where luke teaches you (gn!mc), a chronic instant noodles eater++kitchen-illiterate person, how to cook?

i think it wud be a funny sight for the rest of purgatory hall getting to see this lil angel easily navigate a stove/handles a knife while the actual adult is struggling not to mix sugar nd salt (also ik he mostly bakes but im of the mind that canon was meant to be ignored HAHA and besides theres not enough fics of luke gettin to be mc's guardian angel)

please tag me @diodellet too, thank you (not to rush u or anyth, by all means take your time to work your magic, writing words gets hard smtimes) 💕💕💕i hope you have a wonderful day and remember to hydrate!!

Thank you so much! That’s so sweet! I hope you’ll like it. I'm sorry that it got a little (or a lot) longer than I intended, but it was a really cute idea. @diodellet

Luke teaching a kitchen-illiterate gn!MC to cook

“You know, MC,” Simeon mused, handing you a sandwich, “I’d like to try your home cooking someday.”

The members of Purgatory Hall had invited you to a picnic – Simeon and Luke prepared all the food. Solomon offered to help them, but Simeon insisted that since it was Luke’s idea to have a picnic that day, Luke should be responsible for the cooking. However, as Luke’s guardian, Simeon had to be there to help. Usually, Luke would have protested being treated like a child, but if it got Solomon out of the kitchen, he’d tolerate it.

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Solomon laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Raphael asked.

“MC doesn’t cook,” Solomon informed everyone on your behalf.

“What?” Luke was shocked. “Why not? What do you do when it’s your day to cook? I thought you and those demons split the chores up.”

“I usually just order out or get some of those pre-made meals. Honestly, we eat a lot of instant food when I’m on cooking duty. I can’t really do much without ruining the food.”

“You’re joking, right?” Simeon chuckled, but when you failed to laugh along, his face stiffened up. “Right?”

“Nope, they’re completely lost in the kitchen. Asmo told me that he tried to teach them how to make an omelet and everything inside was undercooked and cut into huge, uneven chunks. They even burned the eggs,” Solomon told on you.

“Oh, you’re one to insult someone’s cooking.” You narrowed your eyes at him before turning back to the bewildered angels. “But he’s right. I’m pretty incompetent in the kitchen. No one ever really taught me, and they’re not usually patient enough for me to learn.”

“That’s unacceptable, MC!” Luke shouted. “You need to be able to cook. What if you get sick from poor nutrition? Besides, cooking is fun. I’ll teach you.”

“Luke, you don’t have to do that. That sounds like it will be a lot of trouble for you.” You declined his offer, worried that he was simply pitying you.

“Nonsense! I insist! If you don’t learn, I’ll always be worried about you eating right or getting hurt in the kitchen. Just come for one lesson. If you hate it, we’ll figure something else out. Please?”

“Okay,” you admitted defeat. “Thank you, Luke.”

“Good.” Luke grinned. “Come to Purgatory Hall tomorrow afternoon.”

Simeon greeted you at the door that afternoon, a bright smile on his face. “I’m so glad you’re here. Luke has been up since early morning getting ready for your arrival.”

“Simeon!” Luke shouted at him, flushed with embarrassment. “It wasn’t that early. Come in, MC. Raphael made you an apron last night, so he’s still asleep.”

You put on the well-made and rather adorable apron and followed Luke to the kitchen. Jars of spices and nearly a dozen fruits and vegetables were set out on the counter. Luke went through the trouble of picking out produce that he had seen you eat before and ones that weren’t especially difficult to prepare or handle.

“Uhm, so,” you drew out the “o” sound while you scrambled to figure out what he had planned, but you were at a loss. “What are we making today?”

“Take a guess.”

“Salad?” you responded, uncertain of your guess.

“No – but that would have been a good beginner meal, too. We’re making soup – well, actually, curry.” Luke beamed at you, quite proud of his choice. “Curry is highly customizable. We can make it mild or spicy to suit your tastes, we can make it vegan or vegetarian, and you can change up the ingredients with the seasons. And there’s nothing more comforting and loving than making soup for yourself and those you care about.”

“Is curry a soup?” you questioned him.

“Well, let’s not get into that.” Simeon laughed awkwardly. He turned to Luke and pat him on the head gently. “I’m leaving MC in your hands, Luke. Be a good little teacher and call me over if you need help with anything.”

“Simeon! I’ve got this,” Luke whined and began pushing Simeon out of the kitchen from behind. Simeon waved goodbye to you during his forceful expulsion.

You put your hand to your mouth to prevent yourself from laughing or cracking a smile at how cute they were. When Luke returned guardian-less he symbolically dusted his hands off and instructed, “okay, we both need to wash our hands before we start cooking. Then we’ll wash all the produce you want to use.”

“Yessir,” you saluted him in jest before following orders. With clean hands, you perused the options.

Among other ingredients, there were two varieties of Devildom mushrooms, peppers, potatoes, revelation tomatoes, ghost pumpkin, and putrid pineapple. Your eyes landed on a deep red stalk. You picked it up. “What’s this one, Luke, some kind of Devildom celery?”

Luke blinked at you in amazement. “That’s rhubarb. It’s a human world vegetable. Solomon decided to grow some.”

“O-oh,” you set it down, embarrassed and half-expecting Luke to laugh.

“That’s okay. It does fit in with Devildom fruit and vegetables, doesn’t it?” Luke smiled at you innocently.

“I guess so. How many fruits and vegetables should I pick?”

“A couple. Add what you think will taste good. I’ll let you know if you make any awful choices, but I trust you.”

Something about his confidence in the face of your absolute lack of skill was comforting – like it was unlikely that you would fail, and if you might, he’d guide you away from a Solomon-level disaster. You grabbed the ghost pumpkin, chickpeas, red peppers, and a Devildom variety of chili pepper. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah, that will be great.”

“Is there anything you want to add, Luke?”

“Let’s add some revelation tomatoes! Barbatos brought these over just yesterday and they look amazing. We should add garlic and shallots or onions, too. Those are usually a given in curry, though.”

“I’m learning already,” you smiled through your words.

Luke watched over you diligently. After showing you the proper technique, he kept an eye out as you minced the garlic and shallots. He even corrected your hand position before he let you cut anything, ensuring that your fingers were curled or at least out of the way. It was adorable to hear him call the curled hand position the “cat paw.” In its own way, it was also pretty cute to watch a little angel holding a big knife. When you finished cutting up your half of the roasted pumpkin a good minute after Luke had finished his, it looked disappointing. Although, to be fair, Simeon and Solomon popping their head out from the hall to get a peak into the kitchen was a bit distracting.

“It’s kind of a mess compared to yours,” you noted, sheepishly.

“That’s okay.” Luke grinned and scooped your pumpkin pieces into the bowl with his. “They’re all about the same size, and there’s no seeds on them. They’ll cook up fine, and once they’re in the curry, no one will notice if they weren’t cut up that nicely as long as the food tastes good.”

You were taken aback by his optimism and sweetness – and so was whoever took a sharp inhale from the living room.

You and Luke were halfway through cutting the peppers and the aromatics were already in the pot along with a roux – adjusted to your spice level – when Solomon entered the kitchen. “Mind if I help you out in here?”

“Oh, no thank you.” You shook your head and added the coconut milk into the pot as Luke had instructed. “Luke’s doing a great job teaching me.”

“I’m a great cook,” he lied, mostly to himself, “I’m sure I could teach you a thing or two.”

“They said ‘no,’ Solomon. We can do this ourselves.”

“Come on,” Solomon tried to persuade you both.

“I’m bonding with Luke, so no.”

That was enough to shut Solomon up. He couldn’t bring himself to come between yours and Luke’s bonding time. “Can we at least come in and watch?”

“’We?’” you questioned him.

“It’s so boring trying to watch from the living room. Simeon couldn’t see well when you accidentally turned on the back burner and wondered why the pot hadn’t heated up after 5 minutes. It was really funny.”

“Your stove is different than the one at the House of Lamentation, you rude old wizard.”

“Come on, it was also really cute, MC.”

“As cute as one of your wizard staffs giving you a prostate exam?” You narrowed your eyes at him. Luke decided to tune out your fighting as he dumped the vegetables and chickpeas into the water.

“Maybe, but that’s a bit kinky to mention in front of Luke.” Solomon laughed and turned away. “Anyway, I’m going to get the others.”

“It was an insult you dirty old–” you started, but it was too late; he was already down the hall – and you didn’t actually have an insult on hand. Luke sighed and shook his head at you two. It wasn’t like he was above bickering, but no one should argue in a kitchen.

“While we have a minute, the last thing we need to cut up is the revelation tomato. We need to give it a secret, something good. I think we should both tell it a secret, what do you think, MC?”

“Okay. I’ll go first.” You looked at Luke’s adorable face as you took the tomato and made your choice. “Dear tomato, Luke is a really good teacher, and I’m glad he offered to teach me because I’m pretty useless in the kitchen. It’s usually embarrassing and pretty scary, but not when Luke is here to help. I’m really proud of him. And I know we’re not done with the dish yet, but I’m proud of myself, too – at least a bit.”

You handed the tomato to Luke. Sure, it wasn’t the juiciest of secrets, but you were happy with it. It felt right – like how the vegetables you picked out felt right or how the spices you added felt right. Luke stepped into the corner to whisper his secret to the tomato.

Luke had just finished telling the tomato his secret when Simeon, Raphael, and Solomon piled into the kitchen.

“So, how’s it going?” Simeon asked sweetly.

“MC’s doing a great job,” Luke bragged on your behalf while you focused on dicing the tomato. Whatever secret Luke had shared, the combination of both of your secrets had combined to make a perfectly juicy tomato that was fragrant and slightly sweet.

“Smells good,” Raphael commented.

“Thank you, Raph. And thank you for the apron. It’s cute.”

“No problem. I’m glad you didn’t cut any fingers off or get any blood on it.” Everyone ignored his grim comment. “You should take it home with you for when you cook for the brothers. I can always make you an apron specifically for here.”

“We could have matching aprons, MC!” Luke almost jumped with joy before restraining himself. He added, timidly, “Of course, that’s only if you want to have more cooking lessons.”

“I’d love to, Luke.”

You added the tomatoes into the pot, gave it a stir, turned the heat down, and added the lid on to allow the curry to simmer. Luke clapped his hands together and said, “Excellent. Lunch will be ready soon. I prepared some rice to go along with it.”

“When did you have time to do that?” you asked, stunned by what seemed to be the sudden appearance of a rice cooker on one of the counters. How had you not heard that going?

“While you were chopping vegetables.”

“Well, I’ll go set the table.” Simeon was reluctant to leave the precious sight of you and Luke in the kitchen. He never imagined you’d be so lost, nor did he imagine that Luke would make such an excellent teacher. Still, at least he would have the opportunity to see his favorite angel sorry Raphael and favorite human not sorry Solomon cooking together again.

“I’ll get some Demonus and some juice for Luke.” Raphael took his leave.

With every bowl filled, you stared around the table nervously. Who should take the first bite? What if it was awful? Confident, Luke dug in. You watched him carefully.

“This is good – if I do say so myself. You did a great job, MC.”

“It’s delicious,” Simeon added with a grin.

“Asmo would never believe that you made this,” Solomon offered his backhanded compliment. “I’m going to take a picture and share it on Devilgram. I should caption it ‘Thank you Luke and MC for making lunch.’”

“Good job, you two.” Raphael nodded.

“I couldn’t have done this without Luke.” All the praise was starting to get embarrassing, so you turned to Luke. “Thank you so much for teaching me.”

Luke was grinning from ear to ear. He could ace all his exams and he still wouldn’t feel prouder than he was now.

Bonus:

Luke’s secret:

“I’m so happy that I can finally help MC with something. They’re always helping me out, and I don’t get to repay the favor very often. I’m worried about them being alone, but if they can cook, that’s one less thing I have to worry about. I hope I can keep teaching them, and they’ll think of me as someone they can rely on.”

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to finally get to another request. I've been kind of out of it, and instead of committing to one request and finishing it, I started like 4 at once. I'll try to get on with the others soon, though.