#evil Mr. Burns laugh

[uhohdad]

i love your writing omg

gwcm is SO SO good can’t wait for the aftermath and if they lived to see Price verbally (maybe physically) kick their asses for doing something so so stupid

ily ily ily thank you for taking the time to send this <3 💖🩷💗💞💘🥺💓

listen the amount of restraint it’s taking me not to drop a spoiler rn is actually commendable y’all are tempting me 😭🤚🏻

⌞ KONIG X READER HUNGER GAMES AU ⌟

[hellsingmongrel]

You know, one of the funniest things after 20 years in this fandom is being so used to the character designs that I often forget just how Just Like That some of the elements are. And then I go to watch the original anime with my 16 year old cousin for the first time, after they sat down and watched Stampede with me and we decided to watch the old one, too, and we get to the episode where Nick shows up on the bus.

And then we got to the shot where he's leaning against the bus, reaches into his coat to pull out a cigarette and it's just a closeup shot of his chest when he reaches in, and the cousin made a weird little wheezing noise and I looked over to see them gawking at the screen and just kind of laughed. "Were you expecting him to take out something else or something?"

"No, I just wasn't expecting to just have his tits in my face! They're just all out there!"

Lemme tell you, when I fuckin' cackled until I was wheezing! I was just like "Yep! That's our slutty priest! There's a reason the fandom draws him with his tits out constantly!" They were laughing and so gobsmacked at the same time, it was great. XD

Sometimes you really do have to rewatch it with a newbie to the series to really remember just how memorable parts of the old shows really were.

[thestarsarebrightertonight]

oh baby its blue flame // tom riddle x fem reader

"will-o the-wisp, babe oh baby its blue flame!"

playlist : blue flame - lesserafim

summary : tom is cold and closed off , theres something off about him and most people know that. so why are you so drawn to him like a moth to the flame?

ravenclaw reader , use of y/n , tom is nicer, AU he isnt voldemort or evil LMAO

masterlist

"youre staring again. even a blind man could see youre staring." your best friend cassandera stated blankly , sat next to you in potions and watching you stare dreamily at a very focused tom riddle.

"i cant help it! hes just so handsome and interesting dont you think?" you whispered back , trying not to gain the attention of mindlessly waffling slughorn.

"handsome? 100%. interesting? more like terrifying!" she whispered back.

you rolled your eyes at this , "i dont get why everyone is so scared of him , hes beautiful and polite."

"yeah well the devil was once beautiful too," she mumbled in dissaproval as you gasped dramatically.

"you did not just compare him to the devil!" you gaped in suprise and slight amusement.

"he seemed pretty devilish when he took away house points because we were in the corridors one minute after cerfew!!" she whisper shouted , reliving the anger she felt when a uninterested tom riddle took away 10 points each from us.

"that was kinda mean of him," you nodded in quiet contemplation.

"oh dont act like you were upset- you admired him and said 'yes tom' like a lovesick puppy!" she scoffed.

"its not my fault the darkness of the corridor made his complexion a little more angelic than usual!" you shrugged as you both gigged.

"miss y/l/n , question 4?" slughorn asked , snapping you back into the harsh reality that you were currently meant to be doing potions.

"huh? oh uhh...well....pheonix feather?" you asked timidly as the whole class laughed only to be shushed by slughorn who held a disapproving look.

"maybe you would know the question if you werent so focussed on talking to miss cassandera." he shook his head as you sheepishly apoligised ,"mr riddle do you have a question?"

you eyes shot to tom who had his hand up , awaiting slughorns attention.

"amortentia," he stated simply as slughorn nodded , stating he was correct. you watched tom for a second longer , startled when his eyes looked at you , a visible smirk on his lips.

you widened your eyes in suprise and looked away quickly , startled and nervous.

"please tell me you saw that." you said sternly , staring forward at nothing as cassandera who did the same nodded with an equally shocked face.

"he smirked." she stated as you nodded.

"and it was hot."

---

later that day you sat on a stone bench , reading with cassandera beside you doing the same thing, until you were interrupted by a shadow blocking the sun that shone on you just seconds before.

groaning in frustration you look up to see who had blocked your light , completely paralysed in shock to see tom riddle looking down at you.

"i thought ravenclaws were smart. however you dont seem to even have the capacity of focusing in lesson." he said so coldy you felt a chill run down your spine.

"what? i...i just got distracted." you stuttered , flustered by his presence and rudeness.

"by me." he stated simply making a bright blush heat up your cheeks , "youd be suprised how easy it is to hear someone sat two rows behind you in a relitively silent classroom."

your whole body burned in embrassament as cassandera pretended to be interested in the floor , secretly listening to the conversation you had with tom.

"oh merlin i- im so sorry i-" you stuttered , not even wanting to make eye contact.

"your confidence was endearing." he again said so blankly , "itd be a shame if i found you in the corridor after cerfew tonight, no? id have to deduct points no doubt."

you were shocked by his flirting? what in the world is happening.

"yeah itd be a shame, i do have a lot of homework to catch up with at the library , i worry it could run over cerfew," you finally looked back up and regained your lost confidence.

he looked down , a faint smirk on his face , "funny thing i cover the librarys corridor. see you then."

he then walked away again , leaving the courtyard and disappearing into the crowds , leaving you to gape after the ghost of his presence.

"i never thought that man would be capable of flirting. never." cassandera muttered in pure shock , both of your jaws on the floor.

"i need to go to the library." you said throwing the book you held and grabbing your satchel in a hurry before walking away.

"hell yeah you do , run bitch!" cassandera happily cheered for you from the bench.

[goryhorroor]

What are some underrated horror films? I have watched all the popular ones and need more! Thanks!

mentally prepare yourself because im ready to give a gumbo list (this has been sitting in my inbox because i had to ask all my friends and this is the list we came up with):

curse of the demon (1957) the serpent and the rainbow (1988) paranoiac (1963) the old dark house (1932) countess dracula (1971) golem (1920) haxan (1968) island of lost souls (1932) mad love (1935) mill of the stone women (1960) the walking dead (1936) the ghoul (1933) tourist trap (1979) the seventh victim (1943) ganja & hess (1973) dead of night (1945) a bay of blood (1971) let's scare jessica to death (1971) alice sweet alice (1976) the deadly spawn (1983) the brain that wouldn't die (1962) all about evil (2010) black roses (1988) the baby (1973) parents (1989) a blade in the dark (1983) blood lake (1987) solo survivor (1984) lemora: a child's tale of supernatural (1973) eyes of fire (1983) epitaph (2007) nightmare city (1980) slugs (1988) death smiles on a murderer (1973) intruder (1989) short night of glass dolls (1971) the children (2008) alone in the dark (1982) end of the line (2007) the queen of spades (1949) the housemaid (1960) tormented (1960) captain clegg (1962) the long hair of death (1964) dark age (1987) the crawling eye (1958) the kindred (1987) the gorgon (1964) wicked city (1987) baba yaga (1973) 976-evil (1988) bliss (2019) decoder (1984) amer (2009) the visitor (1979) day of the animals (1977) leptirica (1973) planet of the vampires (1965) lips of blood (1975) berberian sound studio (2012) a wounded fawn (2022) matango (1963) the mansion of madness (1973) the killing kind (1973) symptoms (1974) morgiana (1972) whispering corridors (1998) dead end (2003) infested (2023) (this just came out but im adding it) triangle (2009) the premonition (1976) you'll like my mother (1972) the mafu cage (1978) white of the eye (1987) mister designer (1987) alison's birthday (1981) the suckling (1990) graveyard shift (1987) messiah of evil (1987) out of the dark (1988) seven footprints to satan (1929) burn witch burn (1962) the damned (1962) pin (1988) horrors of malformed men (1969) mr vampire (1985) the vampire doll (1970) contracted (2013) impetigore (2019) eyeball (1975) malatestas carnival of blood (1973) the witch who came from the sea (1976) i drink your blood (1970) nothing underneath (1985) sauna (2008) seance (2000) come true (2020) the last winter (2006) night tide (1961) the brain (1988) dementia (1955) don't go to sleep (1982) otogirisou (2001) reincarnation (2005) mutant (1984) spookies (1986) shock waves (1977) bloody hell (2020) the den (2013) wer (2013) olivia (1983) enigma (1987) graverobbers (1988) manhattan baby (1982) evil in the woods (1986) death bed: the bed that eats (1977) cathy's curse (1977) creatures from the abyss (1994) the dorm that dripped blood (1982) the witching (1993) madman (1981) vampire's embrace (1991) blood beat (1983) the alien factor (1978) savage weekend (1979) blood sisters (1987) deadly love (1987) playroom (1990) die screaming marianne (1971) pledge night (1990) night train to terror (1985) the devonsville terror (1983) ghostkeeper (1981) special effects (1984) blood feast (163) the child (1977) godmonster of indian flats (1973) blood rage (1980) the unborn (1991) screamtime (1983) the outing (1987) the being (1983) silent madness (1984) lurkers (1988) forver evil (1987) squirm (1976) death screams (1982) jack-o (1995) haunts (1976) a night to dismember (1983) creaturealm: demons wake (1998) the curse (1987) daddy's deadly darling (1973) nightwing (1979) the laughing dead (1989) the severed arm (1973) the orphan (1979) not like us (1995) prime evil (1988) the monstrosity (1987) dark ride (2006) antibirth (2016) iced (1988) the soultangler (1987) twisted nightmare (1987) puffball (2007) biohazard (1985) cameron's closet (1988) beast from haunted cave (1959) the she-creature (1956)

[monzabee]

the first monday in may – dr3

masterlist || part 1 ||

Summary: The one where you and Daniel make your first outing as a couple at this year's Met Gala.

Pairing: daniel ricciardo x actress!reader

Word Count: 4288

Warnings: cursing, mentions of anxiety and medication, apart from that none?? fluffity fluff fluff

Author’s Note: hi, hey, hello!! i wrote this on a train and a plane, so if you see any grammar issues or typos or a sentence which doesn’t make any sense, no you didn’t. after mr daniel blessing us with his met look, i just knew i had to write something for it, so i really hope you guys enjoy this as much as i enjoyed writing it! please know that feedback is always appreciated and my inbox is always open for you guys!! good morning, noon or night wherever you are, xoxobee

Please also note that all of my works are protected under copyright, and not available for reposting on other platforms. 

A loud groan leaves your lips at the sound of the alarm, your hand reaching out to get a hold of your phone, but accidentally hitting something someone else. Daniel groans as you repeatedly try to hit the snooze button on his chest, and he tries to stop you by grabbing your wrist which is moving too quickly for his morning reflexes. 

“Sweetheart– ow– Y/N,” he lets out a frustrated groan as he tries to turn away from you, “please stop hitting me.” 

Thankfully for him, you choose to listen to his request as you roll away from him in an attempt to cover your ears with your pillow. “Make it stop, Danny.” 

“Okay, just– gimme a second.” His voice is still thick from sleep, coming off more as a mumble than anything else, and his moves are sluggish as he reaches over you to turn off the alarm you’ve set the night before. “Here, done,” he breathes out as he lets himself fall back to his side of the bed, sideways, and breathy from moving quickly while still half-asleep. “Sweetheart, take your head out of there, you’re going to suffocate yourself.” Daniel mumbles, trying to coax you with this fingers leaving feathery touches on your arm and his lips leaving small kisses on the exposed skin of your neck. A lazy grin forms on his lips as you mumble something incoherent underneath your pillow, “I can’t understand you; you know.”

Your moves are almost jerky as you lift your head up and turn your body backwards to shoot him a sleepy glare, “I don’t want to wake up, let me sleep.” You go back to hugging your pillow as you close your eyes, your whiny voice making Daniel chuckle. “Stop laughing at me!”

“I can’t help it, you’re so grumpy in the mornings.” He continues to chuckle and proceed to sit up on the bed with his back against the headboard. “Pass me the phone?” 

“You’re evil,” you mumble, reaching to the bedside table to retrieve his phone and turn towards him to hand it, “what time is it anyway?”

Daniel turns the phone on, his eyes burning due to the brightness of the screen as he recites, “6.30.”

“What kind of a person, in their right mind, would want to wake up in this damn hour?” You groan, hand reaching out to touch him in any way possible. 

“You said you wanted to work out before all the commotion, sweetheart.” 

You can hear his smile through his voice, which makes you finally open your eyes in irritation – though all your grumpiness disappears when your eyes level with his thigh. Your fingers move without their own volition as they start tracing through the helmet design of his tattoo, “Don’t listen to me, I’m crazy.” 

“I thought I was the crazy one,” he reminds you, moving his eyes from the screen of his phone and flexing the muscles on his upper thigh to draw out an appreciative sigh from you, “eyes up here, Y/LN.” 

You push your bottom lip out in a pout as you meet his eyes. “You know how it makes me feel like when you call me by my last name.” 

“Your libido honestly concerns me.” He shakes his head, satisfied when he sees a small smile snaking its way on your lips, his voice is warm as he says, “Good morning, sweetheart.” 

Pressing a soft kiss to the skin of his upper thigh, which is exposed thanks to his habit of sleeping without pants. You keep your eyes on his as you straighten up and press another kiss to his lips, resting your chin against his shoulder afterwards. “Good morning to you too, honey.” 

He smiles, leaning down to give you a full bodied kiss which leaves you yearning for more; you seek him out as you follow his retreating form, which makes him smile wider as he gives into your wish. The kiss you share might be sweet starting out, but he knows better than to let you keep on going when you nip at his bottom lip. So, being the gentleman he is, he pulls back and rests his forehead against yours as he mumbles, “I take it back, you are very sweet in the mornings.” 

The giggle he hears back from you is enough for him to know that this is the window he needs to take advantage of to get you out of bed, knowing that there is absolutely no way you’ll actually work out this morning. He successfully coxes you out of bed with promises of breakfast and morning coffee, directing you to the en-suite attached to your bedroom to help you with your morning routine. He holds your hair as you brush your teeth when it makes you frustrated because of the way it keeps getting in front of your face, and he watches you as you wash and apply numerous products on your face; moisturiser, eye cream, sun screen, and even stays still as you apply some on his face because “You should be treating yourself, especially today, Danny.” You hug him from behind and rest your face against his back as he brushes his own teeth, rambling about the day ahead of both of you. He makes sure to put on sweatpants and a t-shirt before going downstairs with you into the kitchen to make you breakfast and coffee as he promised, not in that order. You sit on the counter next to his work station as sip on your coffee and watch him prepare breakfast; he sings an old eighties song in an awfully off pitch, which makes you smile into the cup and let him steal some of the coffee from it. The two of you have your breakfast against the view of New York City, which is starting to become more and more alive as the time goes on. 

“Are you excited for today?” He asks you, leaning against the back of the couch – the two of you are seated on the floor behind it to watch the city scape. 

“Honestly?” You take a pause to try to choose the right words. “The only reason I’m remotely excited about it is because I know you’re going to be there. Are you excited?” You nudge him with your shoulder as you give him a playful grin. “The Daniel Ricciardo is making his Met Gala debut; how does it feel to be a rookie again?”

“Ha-fucking-ha,” he mockingly laughs, rolling his eyes at the sound of your laugh getting louder with a small smile forming on his lips, “I am excited, and I think we’re both going to have a lovely night.” 

Your laughter continues as you poke him on his cheek repeatedly, making him join you as he starts laughing. “Look at you, being all optimistic and stuff.” 

He pulls you over his lap, which ends you half-way straddling his thighs as you rest your hands on his shirt clad chest. “I’m the personification of sunshine, and don’t you ever forget it.” 

The rest of the morning is spent with hushed whispers shared between you two, lazily cleaning up the kitchen to the sounds of an old record you found in your parents’ attic and took it back with you to your apartment in New York. Daniel still tries to keep up with the lyrics of the sound in his awfully off-pitched voice, claiming that he is not hearing what you claim would make “the Phantom of the Opera cry.” It’s an awfully domestic scene, a routine the two of you have been perfecting for a while since meeting each other, but it’s interrupted when the two of you hear the front door open, followed by a; “You better be awake and ready to go because I am not dealing with traffic today.” 

You smile knowingly at Daniel before calling out, “In the kitchen!” 

“Hi, Rosa, you want some coffee?” Daniel asks the woman, who enters into the kitchen with an angry look on her face. He gives you a peck on your forehead and moves towards the coffee machine without waiting for her answer, since he anticipates it’s going to be affirmative. 

“Oh, he’s good.” Rosa mumbles, pointing to the man who hands her the cup. 

The two of you share another laugh as Daniel returns to his position behind you, wrapping his arms around you. “Are you okay, Rosa?” You ask her as you try to get some of the pastries you had earlier ready for her. 

“People are particularly stupid this morning, it must be in the air.” Your assistant mutters as she digs into the croissant, sighing as she takes her first bite. “You are an angel; they should consider you for the Nobel prize at some point in the future.”

“The least I can do is feed you,” you shrug, jumping slightly when Daniel squeezes your waist ever so slightly as a reminder to take the compliment – you turn to give him a look which makes it very clear for him to see you rolling your eyes. “How many photographers are there downstairs?”

“I love it when she refers to them as photographers, don’t you?” Rosa asks Daniel, and then turns her attention to you to answer your question, “A lot, which is why I need you to go get dressed so we can be early for your last fitting.” 

You begrudgingly leave Daniel’s arms as you make your way towards the stairs and warning the two, “Do not gossip about me when I’m gone.” 

“Wouldn’t dare dream of it, sweetheart.” Daniel nods with fake seriousness, laughing as you roll your eyes at him and poke your tongue before running up the stairs to get ready. 

After managing to get ready in record time and making sure you have all the necessities for the day, you go back downstairs to say goodbye to your boyfriend for the day. There is a heavy look in his eyes as he cups your cheeks between his hands and tilts your head back to take a good look in your eyes. 

“Don’t forget to call me if you’re feeling overwhelmed, okay?” Daniel asks, which comes off more as an assurance rather than a question. “Do you have everything you need?” 

“I do, Danny.” You assure him, hands gripping the front of his shirt. “I’ll see you at the carpet, right?” 

“Yeah,” his whisper hitting your lips as he repeats, “I’ll see you at the carpet.” After he gives you a final sweet kiss on the lips, which is interrupted by Rosa screaming for you to be quick, there is a dopey grin on his lips as he watches you walk away. “Who are you going to be wearing, again?” He asks, leaning against the counter. 

You roll your eyes at his attempt to learn more about your dress – both of you having agreed not to show each other what you’re going to be dressed in just to enjoy the mystery of it all, you only know the designers both of you are going to be dressed in. “I’ll be the one in Chanel!” You call out to him as you walk out the door. 

It’s not that you hate getting ready, not at all. In fact, you love sitting in a chair for three consecutive hours without having to make any moves as the light is shining in your eye. You’re glad to endure the entire process with your team, though, who manage to make the time go faster by continuously talking to you and helping you take your mind off of the anxiety starting to form at the back of your mind. Not only do you have to get ready for one of the most publicly scrutinised events of the year, you’re going to be wearing a dress which you cannot, under any circumstances, spill something on or harm in any way – and the top it all off, your entire process of getting ready is being filmed for one of the most watched YouTube channels of the most famous fashion magazine. So yes, the anxiety you’re starting to feel is not displaced at all. 

The makeup-hair-nail extravaganza is interrupted by a delivery, which Rosa doesn’t allow you to go receive at the door in your robe, so while she handles the delivery, you’re stuck with three pairs of curious eyes.

“I wonder who it could be from.” Rosa smiles covertly as she hands you the flowers and the small package that is wrapped up in a bag. 

You try to appear cool in front of everyone – but fail miserably as you mumble, “I wouldn’t know, I haven’t read the card yet.” After placing the vase full of colourful flowers onto the table, you spot a card attached which you take off and hold it close to your chest in a playful manner as you read it out loud, “‘You’re my celebrity girl crush’”.

“Is that supposed to be an inside joke?” Mark whispers loudly to Rosa who’s standing next to him as he peruses his make-up bag to find the right colour for your blush. 

“Oh who cares?” Your hair artist, Miranda, sighs behind you. “He sent her flowers! Open the box, open the box.” 

You roll your eyes at their antics as you open the small box that was in the bag, revealing three thin gold bands, which are decorated by small diamonds. A gasp comes from the man next to you, who is shaking his head in approval as he points to the ring box. “Oh he’s good, they are gorgeous!”

“You know what they say,” you mumble, smiling softly, “all good things come in three’s.” 

Rosa gives you a mischievous look, “Isn’t Daniel’s driver’s number three, Y/N?” 

You can feel the blush coming onto your cheeks as you wave your assistant off and duck your head slightly to get away from the amused looks of your colleagues, “Stop it.” 

After hours of preparation and shooting, followed by the task of getting you into your dress for the evening (which involved lacing up a very stubborn corset) and a round of  “Should the hair be up or down”, you’re finally leave after completing the last touches of your look. You try your best at standing still as you let Miranda fasten the headpiece onto your hairdo, which she manages to complete pretty quickly. The trek to the car is chaotic to say the very least, but you manage to do your best as you walk through the doors of your hotel and smile at the flashing cameras and shouting fans while you walk to the van. Having to stand in the van in order not to damage the form of the dress you’re wearing, you think the worse part of the night is over – the only thing you have to do is meet Daniel on the carpet, pose, go up the stairs and enjoy the rest of the night; easy. Which is exactly why you end up close to losing your mind when the car suddenly stops moving. 

“Oh my god, please tell me we didn’t just stop in the middle of the road.” Rosa mumbles from her seat. 

You take a deep breath as you answer, “I’m sure we didn’t stop in the middle of the road–”

“There are protestors on the street, in front of the other car.” The driver replies from the front seat. 

“Wh-who’s in the car front?” You ask Rosa, confused, as she furiously types away on her phone. 

“Paris Hilton,” she mumbles, looking up at you, “I’m sure we’ll be there on time, just a bit delayed. I need you to keep calm, okay?”

The whine that leaves your lips has her looking at you worried, “I need– can you please give me my phone?” 

She hands you your phone from her bag per your request, watching you struggle with your phone. “Y/N, do you need to take your medicine? Just to calm your nerves down a little bit?” 

“No, they make me sleepy.” You mumble, finally finding his contact and calling him, “I’m fine I just need to tell Daniel.” 

“Sweetheart.” His voice filling your ears as you take a deep breath. “Oh my god, you didn’t tell me how crazy it was in here!”

The excitement in his voice is enough to calm some of your nerves, “Yeah, you’re having fun?” 

“Fun?” He exclaims, “I just saw Jared Leto come out of a cat suit, Y/N!”

“What?” You let out a breathy laughter, your eyes are on Rosa who is trying to talk to the driver. “That is crazy.”

“I know, I wish you were here to see it, too. Where are you anyway?” 

“I– I’m stuck.” You confess, hand gripping the seat you’ve been using as support tighter. 

“Stuck?” He asks, his voice conveying how confused he is. “Is everything okay? Where is Rosa?” 

“She is here, Danny, there are protestors on the street so it looks like I’m going to be late.” Your eyes keep watching the scene around you with you trying to see whether the people are moving as your voice wavers at the end. “Paris Hilton is also late though, so at least we’ll be fashionably late together.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Daniel coos, his voice sounding so soothing to you, “don’t worry, okay? I’ll just wait for you down here.” 

You let out a disagreeing hum. “They won’t let you; they need to have people move along so they can stick to the schedule.” 

“Then I’ll just wait for you at the top of the stairs,” Daniel announces, “Kris Jenner did it for her kids, didn’t she?”

“I– What– ” You scramble to put the words together, making Rosa frown at you. “How do you even know that?”

“You obviously doubt my ability to keep up with the Kardashians, sweetheart. Now breath for me, will you?” 

Daniel ends up staying with you on the phone until he is called up. You can tell he is hesitant to leave you, but you assure him that you’ll see him when you get there. Lucky for you, the crowd end up scattering and the car starts moving once again. You let out a relieved breath, but pray that no other complications arise until you make it to the Met. When the car stops again and Rosa informs you that you’ve made it to the location, you feel as if there is a big weight being lifted off your shoulders. You don’t even remember getting off the van and going inside or even stepping on to the carpet, but your short-lived dissociation is cut in half when you hear your name being shouted over and over again. You do your best to pose for every single camera even if the flashes are hurting your eyes once Rosa gently moves you along to help you onto the stairs, and you follow her as you pose for the las time looking over your shoulder with a wide smile – a pose you give every year, which the media dubbed as being yours and your mother manages to find new places to hang around the house after every year’s gala. You shoot Rosa a grateful look as she helps you move up the stairs by linking her arm with yours and lifting your dress for you to move more freely. 

You’re almost out of breath when you reach the top of the stairs, but there is a smile on your face as you hear, “We have another bride, ladies and gentleman, another one!” You look around to the source of the voice a loud laugh escaping you when you locate it. Emma hums the Wedding March as you make your way over to her, also singing, “Here comes the bride.”

“It’s so good to see you again!” You smile at her, quickly giving her a hug. “Three years in a row? I’m so proud of you!”

“Oh stop it, I’m never going to keep this gig if I blush on camera!” Emma laughs, pointing to your outfit. “Obviously, we have another Chanel Bride here, but what can you tell us about your look today?” 

“Well, it’s Bridal Chanel –  from my mother’s collection actually. She decided to buy this for me before I was even born, so than you mom,” you tip your head to the camera and lift your fingers up in a mock salute, “sorry for not wearing it for my actual wedding.” 

“Oh, no!” Emma gasps, “Was she angry with you for not saving it for your wedding?” 

“I don’t think so?” You wave her off, laughing as you assure her, “We were looking at different looks to pull from the archives, and I always ask her opinion on these things, actually she was the one suggested it.” 

She nods in understanding, smiling as she tips her microphone. “Well that’s a relief! What are your thoughts about this year’s theme for the Met Gala?”

You widen your eyes playfully, taking a moment to choose your words very wisely. “Yeah, I mean Karl was such a big influence in the fashion industry, but I think the important part about tonight’s theme is that creativity and fashion brings people together, and when people do come together beautiful things happen; that’s what I’m choosing to focus on.”

“That’s a beautiful way to put it actually,” Emma praises your answer, pointing to your hands as she asks, “And as a last question, what can you tell us about your jewellery? I mean I love all the bling you have on you right now.” 

That manages to pull another laugh out of you, and you show the camera your hands for a moment as you answer her question. “The necklace was a wedding gift from my father to my mother, which is why it makes it so special; I think. As for the rings, most of them are mine but my boyfriend got me the gold ones, so they are very special as well”

“Well, thank you for answering a few questions for us tonight, and I hope you have a wonderful night!”

Right as you turn back to leave after saying goodbye to Emma and her team, your eyes lock with a very familiar set of brown eyes. The breath is knocked out of your lungs when you take in his attire, your legs taking you to his waiting arms in no time. You can’t help the giggle sneaking out of your mouth as you look up to him with a wide smile to match the one on his own face, “I am sending Thom Browne a thank-you card, and a fruit basket.” 

“You like?” Daniel asks, raising a brow and wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You let your fingers toy with the bowtie resting on his neck, “Oh, I love.” 

His voice is smug as he lowers his voice, “I’m glad, sweetheart.”

“You in tweed does something to me,” you mumble, hands going over to feel the fabric of his jacket, “and don’t even get me started on the damn bowtie.” 

“The bowtie is doing it for you?” Daniel laughs, and it is a full-bodied one where he throws his head back. “Are you being serious right now?”

“Do I look like I’m joking, honey?” You ask him in a deadpan voice. “I love this, I want you to wear this around the house, please.”

“Well, since you asked nicely.” Daniel nods. He takes your hands in his as he makes you twirl around for him to see your whole outfit, smiling at you boyishly when you face him again, “I was not expecting you to see you in a wedding dress when I woke up this morning.” 

“Well, it’s Chanel.” You emphasise what you’ve told him earlier this morning, which he responds to by attempting to tickle you by your waist through the corset of your dress. 

He tilts his head as he looks at you without any hint of joking, but his voice is the opposite as he asks, “Hey, you wanna get married after this?” 

“Yeah sure, can I still take you home tonight afterwards?” 

“You can always take me home, sweetheart.” He wiggles his eyebrows, pulling get another giggle from you. “Now, before we go inside and lose ourselves in all the food and the alcohol, is it going to ruin your makeup if I kiss you?” 

You raise your eyebrows as you playfully smile at him. “I might not make it through tonight if you don’t kiss me right now, honey.”

“Well, when you say it like that,” he murmurs, pulling you towards himself with the help of his hands on your waist, and capturing your lips in a long awaited kiss. His lips are unbelievably soft, you realise, as your eyes close and suddenly all you care about the man in your eyes. The camera flashes doesn’t slow down the way Daniel kisses you, it’s one of those kisses he gives you when the two of you see each other after it’s been a while. A groan rumbles from the back of your throat when he scrapes his teeth against your lower lip, the pad of his thumb and his pointer finger angling your chin to give him a better access. You can hear the smirk in his voice as he pulls away, leaving you chasing after his lips while they touch yours as he speaks in a low voice, “I told you; you shouldn’t have doubted my ability to keep up with the Kardashians.” 

You let out a breathy chuckle as you mumble, “Just kiss me, idiot,” and pull him in another kiss by his neck. 

[impala-dreamer]

Stay With Me

A Supernatural Story

~Dean is into his second bottle of whiskey, desperate to drive his problems away. But he knows deep down, the booze isn't what he truly needs...~

Dean Winchester x F!Reader

1,390 Words

Warnings: Bittersweet Angst

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist  ~  Patreon  ~ Published Works

In one fluid motion, he cracked the seal on the new bottle of whiskey and plopped back down into his chair. The old seat groaned and the wheels rolled back a bit, sliding with the force of his weight over the polished floor.

Dean poured himself another healthy shot and stared down into the glass, enjoying how the light from the glowing table beneath set the crystal aflame. His lips turned in a half smile and he sighed.

“If you hold it up to the light at the right angle, you can see a rainbow.”

Y/N’s voice hit his ear and he lifted the glass to his lips, smiling even wider as she came into view.

Dressed in his old green flannel and seemingly nothing else, she leaned against the archway, arms and bare ankles crossed. He looked up and licked a drop of drink from his lips, savoring the taste and the way she looked. Her hair was a beautiful mess, the day’s makeup smudged around her eyes like she had meant it to look that way. Her mouth still held a faint stain from her faded lipstick and she pouted as he stared, driving his mind towards unholy thoughts.

“Rough day?” she asked, pushing off the tiles to walk slowly towards him.

“You should know,” he sighed around the rim of the tumbler. “You were with me.”

Y/N nodded and pulled out the chair across from him. “True.”

He eyed her over the glass, loving the way she sat down so delicately only to slump against the back of the chair. She leaned back and kicked her feet up onto the map, toes casting a shadow over Brazil.

“But really, it wasn’t that bad,” she teased. “Not bad enough for a second bottle of bourbon, anyway.”

“It’s whiskey,” he corrected.

She shrugged. “Same thing.”

Dean shook his head and set the glass down, fingers lingering on the sharp edges of the design. “Not true. Bourbon is always whiskey, but whiskey ain’t always bourbon. This is just straight up, get ya drunk, forget your life for a few hours whiskey.”

She knocked her feet off the table and turned to face him head on. “And why would you want to forget your life, Mr. Winchester? What’s so horrible lately that you’d want it to go away?”

He laughed sadly, bowing his head, avoiding her eyes. “Oh, you know me. Just being overdramatic.”

Y/N leaned forward and set her clasped hands in front of her. The ring he’d given her glinted in the warm golden light from below and Dean’s gaze was locked on the antique silver and brilliant red stone.

He remembered when they saw it in that little shop outside Paramus. The old hippie behind the counter told them that carnelian was special, used for protection and to ward off evil spirits. Y/N had laughed so brilliantly when she heard that, rolling her eyes at the thought of a cheap little ring keeping the demons away. Her smile had been so beautiful that Dean doubled back later that day and purchased the ring for her.

She never took it off.

“Dean Winchester, you are never overdramatic,” she asserted. “Medium dramatic, sure. A little crazy sometimes? We all are. But never overdramatic. Under dramatic if anything.”

She winked and Dean’s shoulders relaxed, his heart melting for her like it did every time she was close by. He was quiet for a long moment, just studying her face. Memorizing the way the lights and shadows played on her cheeks, the unique line of her nose, the fan of lashes curved over her pretty eyes. She was engraved in his mind, her face always hiding just behind his closed eyes.

“Under dramatic, huh?” He took a sip and let the whiskey burn his tongue a bit before swallowing. His mouth was mostly numb by now, but the little bit at the roof of his mouth still felt and that feeling needed to be punished.

“You know I’m right,” she grinned and sat back. “I always am.”

Dean chuckled and drained the glass. “Sure are.”

It was an old joke between them. She was always right no matter the situation, no matter the topic being discussed. The unwritten rule was that even when wrong, Y/N was always right. She also seemed to win every single competition and argument. A smile could get her out of trouble, a pout would break him enough to roll over and let her win. Every single time.

“You’re damned right, Winchester. I’m always right.” She dipped her chin and stared at him, gorgeous eyes peeling back the mask he so often hid behind. “So, spill. What’s wrong?”

Dean licked his lips and tried to look away. “I’m fine.”

She clicked her tongue. “Bull. What’s going on?”

Again, he tried to tear his eyes away, but he was locked in her gaze, trapped by her voice. “Nothing.”

With a huff, she stood up and kicked the chair away with her right foot. It coasted across the floor until it hit the wall and spun around on itself.

Slowly, she walked around the table and perched on the edge next to him. He closed his eyes for a second, breathing in the sweet smell of her. Faint coconut and something sugary filled his senses and Dean leaned back with a squeak of antique coils.

Y/N reached for his glass and Dean watched as she lifted it to her lips, held her breath, took a long sip. She shivered as it burned down her throat and coughed gently.

“This is terrible,” she laughed, setting the tumblr back down.

He nodded. “It’s not great.”

“So, what’s got you trying to kill your liver with the worst fucking whiskey I’ve ever tasted?”

She wiggled a bit to get more comfortable, spreading her knees just enough to touch his leg with her toes. He melted into the touch and fought back a fresh wave of tears.

He knew she wouldn’t let it go until he confessed, knew she’d keep on teasing and prodding until he gave her what she wanted. But he couldn’t say it aloud, couldn’t let the words leave his head and fly out into the world.

If he did, she would leave.

He needed her there, just for a little while longer.

Needed to smell her coconut lotion, feel her toes on his thigh, see her sweet smile. He needed to hear her say his name in that sweet, secret tone she only used with him.

A single tear slipped through his defenses, sliding carelessly down his cheek.

Y/N gasped under her breath and reached for it, wiping the wet away with the soft pad of her thumb. “Oh, baby… it’s ok.”

Before she could pull away, Dean grabbed her wrist. He wrapped his fingers tight around her arm and held her there, letting her heat fill his mind, soothe the pain.

“It’s not OK, Y/N/N,” he whispered. He closed his eyes and took a breath, one last drink of her air, her being. “I- I don’t want you to go.”

She leaned forward, dropped a kiss to the top of his head. “I have to, Dean. You know that.”

Drunken tears flowed freely; his throat closed tight. “Please,” he begged, close to choking on his grief. “Stay with me. Just a little bit longer…”

Y/N sighed and slid down off of the table, her hand still locked in his. “I’m sorry, baby. I have to go.” She chewed her lip and smiled softly. “But I’ll always be with you. I promise.”

Green eyes rose to her face. She was haloed in something brighter than the Bunker’s lights, something sacred, some glow cast down from Heaven.

“Please… Stay with me.”

Her image began to fade but her smile never did.

Dean closed his eyes, kissed her hand, whispered her name into the empty room.

She was gone again, drawn back into his memory, a ghost only in his whiskey addled mind.

He knew she wasn’t really there when she appeared- he’d set the pyre ablaze himself. But still, whenever he met the bottom of a bottle, he’d dream her up and feel her spirit around him. Nights like these he wondered if maybe, if somehow… she had stayed with him.

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!) @alwaystiredandconfused @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @suckitands33 @the-wounded-healer05   

[jimmytimmyjames]

a post i saw likening joel and scar in their "villainy" in the life series has prompted me to finally express in writing how much mr. goodtimeswithscar terrifies me.

you see. joel and scar have both played the role of the "villain" in the life series (last life, secret life) and, outside of the instances in which they played those roles, are still liable to cause destruction and kill people. imo, despite this similarity, they give off very different vibes.

joel is straight-forward. he enjoys chaos and is liable to stab someone in the back for fun, and everyone knows this. if you aren't engaged in an unusually strong allyship (the bad boys, the mounders) with him, don't trust him. he will murder his own wife for the hell of it. this simplicity makes him entertaining to me, even though i sometimes don't vibe with the way he acts in these series. i expect this behaviour. the expectedness makes him less scary. also making him less scary is the fact that, while he can do serious damage, he has a tendency to make stupid and rash decisions and to kill himself with his own traps. he is a double-edged sword. for every bit of damage he deals to someone else, he deals damage to himself also. a cringefail little guy whom i can only take entirely seriously on certain occasions. not exactly, but quite like a chihuahua - aggressive, evil for no reason, with a lethal bite if it manages to get its teeth in you, but, at the end of the day, a chihuahua. (sorry for the stereotypes. not all chihuahuas, i'm sure.)

mr. goodtimes, on the otherhand, is volatile. i do not know what is going on in his head at any given time. i cannot tell when he is going to act perfectly cordially or decide to burn someone's house down or take a shot at them just to see if he can do some damage. that man is simultaneously perfectly innocent of any crime and completely guilty of all of them, and this quantum state in which he somehow manages to exist makes my hairs stand on end. it is exacerbated by his persona. i do believe that scar gets himself into Situations by accident and isn't putting on a front with regards to his cringefailness. however, he is - at the same time - as sharp as they come. like, scarily calculating. he is the goof character who turns out to be jaded and merciless inside. he will laugh with you, which turns to laughing at you, which turns to shooting you in the head, all the while keeping up this sense of goofiness and half-fake friendliness. bro. it has gotten to the point that seeing his skin evokes within me a deep-seated sense of unease. his eyes, man. his eyes. grian is the same. there is nothing behind those eyes. however, grian lacks scar's redeeming little meow meow factor which endears him to me. grian's just straight-up evil. i don't even trust grian when he's teamed with the person who's perspective i'm watching. (yes, btw, i watch jimmy's pov)

this is why desert duo gives me nightmares btw.

[a-great-tragedy]

Our english teacher made us watch Percy Jackson, the movies (I cried when she announced it) here are my thoughts

Dear god it’s worse than I remember

Perce is a terrible nickname

Why did they make Grover a player?? He’s not a player!!

“This is a pen. A pen!”

He didn’t even kill Mrs. Dodds???

The fact that he just didn’t react at all when his mom dies

Why is Percy sword fighting Annabeth, he’s supposed to be on her team??

Chiron just watching Percy getting beaten the shit out of by Annabeth, Sir you are in charge here!!

And then he laughs when Percy knocks a kid to the ground. The favoritism is alive and burning

The way they never established Luke and Annabeth’s friendship

Why did they make it about the pearls, it wasn’t about the pearls

Highway to hell, okay I can work with this

“I used to date your daddy.” why?? Was this supposed to be comedic relief?? It just made me uncomfortable

Why is Medusa flirting with him? wtf

A truck??

why are they keeping the head in the bathroom

In the books they never visited the Parthenon why was that added?

Plz, I prefer the inaccurate Louis Arch thing than this

Grover is jumping to conclusions

They said the shoes would be hard to use and then he preceded to use them correctly on the first try

The graphics are killing me

Annabeth literally never touched a bow in the books but okay

Annabeth’s dagger erasure

Annabeth’s personality erasure

So they could have just used the head the whole time to kill them?? This is the most pointless-

I WANNA HOLD EM LIKE THEY DO IN TEXAS PLEASE

Why are they doing drugs??

FOLD EM LET EM HIT ME RAISE IT BABY STAY WITH ME

Why did Grover become a sheep there for a second

LOVE GAME INTUITION PLAY THE CARDS WITH THE SPADES TO START

That poor lady that just carries Grover’s crutches around 😭

AND AFTER HE’S BEEN HOOKED UP PLAY THE ONE THAT’S ON HIS HEART

Get it Grover I guess??

Why did Poseidon wait so long to tell Percy about the hotel?? He’s a god, he could’ve told him at any point in time, why wait?

stealing a car is sooo piper of them

WATCH WHERE YOUR GOING

why is the underworld in Hollywood, it’s genuinely annoying me.

Now why is Grover being the dumb one

Persephone flirting with Grover is the worst thing that has happened so far

why is hades evil, he’s just a depressed old man

Why?

Not them just leaving Grover behind

They forgetting Percy has a fatal flaw

and a personality

Everything about this fight is uncomfortable

“I’m pretty sure I’m the son of Poseidon” whatever Peter Johnson

How is Luke supposed to live after that?

Someone yelled “HE’S DEAD” Immediately after

Why do the gods look like that???

They are supposed to be dressed modern

nothing about this is right

Worst part is that Gabe didn’t die

I didn’t pay attention after Gabe didn’t die so I have no other thoughts

This movie deserves jail time

I’m so glad we got another adaptation

[lightwing-s]

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐌 𝐂𝐔𝐃𝐃𝐋𝐄𝐒

pairing: wally west x gn! reader

requested: yes summary: when sending a picture goes wrong, the last thing you expect is your coworker at you doorstep looking for cuddles

word count: 1,4k warnings: other than swearing, none

a/n: i unlearned how to write short blurbs today and everything is turning into an imagine. also, two posts in a day. don't get used to it.

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡

⌜masterlist⌟ ⌜requests⌟

Being single during winter sucks, because you want to get warm cuddling somebody but you don’t have anyone to cuddle with and you end up cuddling your cat. So, there you were now, laid on your sofa, the snow falling down on your window, and many scratches in your arms because your cat didn’t want to cuddle you after all.

Fuck being single. 

Bored out of your ass with the movie you got on tv, you picked up your phone and took a picture of you on the sofa, all covered in blankets, and an evil cat on your feet. Pressing the share button, you looked for your best friend’s contant when a notification popped on your phone but you bluntly ignored it and sent the picture to your friend with a message “no one to cuddle, not even Mr McFluffler”.

However, you didn’t send it to your friend. You sent it on your work group chat. 

In one of your dumbest moves, you mixed the chats together and sent it by mistake to all of your work mates. The notification, a message from your colleague Wally, had propped the group chat further up on your chats list and you clicked on it accidentally. 

You sent them a picture of you, on your pajamas, crying because you were fucking single. Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, fuuuck.

Luckily, you had fast fingers, deleting the picture faster than the Flash could make it to England. 

No one saw it, Yn. Relax. You were fast, faster than the Flash. Nobody noticed. And if they did, so what, it was just a silly picture. It could be worse, you could’ve sent them nudes. You tried calming yourself up, trying to assure yourself everything was going to be fine, and like clockwork, your superior answered Wally’s message as if yours was never sent.

A couple minutes had passed and you’d already sent a message to your friend, you two laughing over the whole situation, when you heard your doorbell ring. Weird, you hadn’t ordered food nor were you waiting for any visitors.

Jumping up from the sofa, you ran to the window, looking to see who the hell was knocking at your door at this hour, on this day, and in this godforsaken weather.

“Wally?” you asked, rushing to your door. “What are you doing here? How do you know where I live?”

It didn’t make sense. You’d barely speak at work, exchanging a few words every day, but that was it. Wally was fun, joked with everybody and never made you feel uncomfortable, you just weren’t close. 

He did, indeed, make you a feel a bit nervous though, but that was silly, a silly little work crush that would never go anywhere because he he made you so nervous you were never being able to come up with a good comeback to keep the conversation going, usually just smiling like a dumbass and avoiding him for the rest of the day.

Yay!

“I tracked your phone.” he simply stated, as if it was nothing. Brushing you off, he took off his winter jacket and walked past you inside your home, your eyes wide open and questioning his entire demeanor. “You want a cuddle right?”

What?!

“What?!” you nearly screamed, feeling the burn growing on your cheeks, almost running back inside and hiding away in your bedroom.

“You sent a picture, sugar.” he explained nonchalantly. “You wanted to cuddle, because your cat wouldn’t?”

This can be real, you thought, just can’t be. “It was a mistake, I was supposed to send it to my friend and we were just joking.” you tried to explain, the words jumping out of your mouth before you really could process them, too overwhelmed by the sudden situation you found yourself in.

“So you don’t wanna cuddle?” he asked, stopping in his tracks, almost at your living room.

“I-I mean, I would like to cuddle, it’s just…”

“So let’s cuddle then.” he said, disappearing into your house and leaving you frozen at the door. You didn’t understand what made him come all the way to your house, and how fast he had done it. Why would he do that? Why? It was just, so confusing. It didn’t make sense. Your mind was doing turns and turns trying to think, trying to react, trying to process everything that was happening. “You really gonna stay outside in the cold?”

His scream broke you from your thoughts and you closed the door behind you as you headed to the living room to meet him. There, to your surprise once again, Wally had his long ass legs covered with one of the blankets, your cat, that treacherous bitch,  purring on his lap as he caressed his orange fur, an unexpected match with his hair, with one of his hands while the other rested over the couch.

“I’m really confused.” you said, eyebrows crushed together. “Why are you here, West?”

“You ask too many questions, you know that?” he said, completely entertained by the cat on his lap. “You sent a picture complaining you didn’t have anyone to cuddle with. It’s cold, I also don’t have anyone to cuddle with, so I’m offering myself to fulfill your needs. And mine.”

“We’re not even friends…”

“Yn… We’re just gonna cuddle. Or are you thinking of something els…”

“No!”

“Then come here.” he grabbed you by the arm and onto the sofa, slamming against his chest as you fell down with him. He covered you with the same blanket he had over his legs and pulled you close, too uncomfortably close, and put his arm over your shoulder.

You had to be honest, you felt very comfortable cuddling Wally West, his warmth emanating from his body and embracing yours, making it all just… perfect. You dared to put your hand over his waist, but your cat bit it before you could do so.

Son of a bitch, you told him mentally. Wally’s chuckle stole your attention away, though, as he petted the devil, er, the animal that stretched on his lap. “You can hug me now, Yn. He won’t bother you anymore.”

Blushing, you were reluctant to do so, but Wally’s hand pulled yours to wrap them around his torso. “See, this is fine.”

You rested your head on his shoulder as you felt the hours passing, his own head resting atop yours. You watched two or three movies, cozied up to each other in what was a position you could get more and more used to.

It was then that a loud rumble had you lifting from your position and facing your coworker. “Are you hungry?” you asked, smiling at the awkwardly funny face he was making.

“Can we order pizza?” he asked back, and as you nodded, he stood up from the sofa, typing in a phone number faster than humanly possible and placing his phone on his ear.

“I never asked, but,” you started, following him into your kitchen. “How did you get here so fast?”

Wally’s eyes grew wide as he tried to avoid looking at you, the words missing from his mind as he tried to find an excuse. “I was close by.”

“Oh!” you simply replied.

Fuck it, Wally, he thought. Could’ve been a bit more subtle.

“I was walking by, you know. Just looking for something to do when I saw your message and like, thought it was a great opportunity I couldn’t let pass.”

“An opportunity to cuddle?” you asked shyly.

“To cuddle you, why would I pass on it?” His words made you blush redder than a tomato, looking down at your nails to avoid his eyes. “It was really a great opportunity.”

“Was it worth taking?” you asked again, looking at him innocently.

“Totally.” he stated. “You?”

“Totally.”

You listened as the pizza place finally answered the call and he ordered four (!!!) pizzas for the two of you. Fast metabolism, he mouthed and you laughed. “C’mon, let’s go back to cuddling”

Pulling you by the hand, he jumped on the sofa again, this time laying on it and leaving enough space to have you by his side.

“Don’t you think you’re getting too comfortable?” you joked.

“You make me comfortable, Yn. You should get used to it.”

“Used to it?” you questioned, pulling you to lay down on the sofa with him.

“Yeah, used to it.” he repeated. 

Lying down now, you fixed your head placement on his shoulder, a perfect fit once more. A hand placed on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through your palm, you felt his arm pushing you closer till your forehead met his lips.

“If you’re interested, we could do this more often.” he suggested.

“Yeah, I’d be interested.” you said, not hiding the smile spreading on your lips.

“And we could, you know, go out on a date somewhere.”

“Yeah, I’d be interested in that too.”

[bucketspammer4life]

odd punch out hcs because im running feeling kinda shit

because that last hc post i made wasnt evil enough

Little Mac has set a oven on fire more than once while attempting to bake, Doc just doesn't let him use ovens now.

Disco Kid drinks more soda than water, not Soda Popinski levels of drinking but he tends to go for soda when he's thirsty unless he has to go for water.

Soda Popinski physically cannot drink water, it just makes him throw up even if he'a able to force it down, he says water tastes like barf to him.

Von Kaiser absolutely hates repeating sounds & chewing sounds, chewing loudly near this man is like willingly throwing yourself in front of a truck,he can and will slap you.

Don Flamenco has had his toupe stolen by a seagull on multiple occassions, the first time it happened everyone lost their shit and he got made fun of for a full-on month.

Bald Bull sometimes gets a little to ruthless while jokingly hitting people, he accidentally broke someone's back while playfully punching them once.

King Hippo really likes scented candles, he prefers using them instead of lamps as he hates the buzzing sound that comes from them and considers the light too intense for him, he also likes having his house smell nice.

Super Macho Man cannot take anything seriously, the building he was in could be burning down and he would still joke about it.

Hondo gets 100x more meaner when he's cooking in the kitchen and someone comes in while he's in the middle of something, he has thrown a cutting board at someone after they've come in while he was rushing to check something.

Glass Joe has a mint allergy but still uses mint toothpaste anyway since he claims he's "used to pain"

Bear Hugger sometimes laughs at his own jokes he's made in his own mind too much and starts scaring away people.

Aran Ryan has eaten a full jar of salt before and says that he'd do it again.

Mr Sandman has tripped on thin air on several occassions, he tends to be a bit clumsy with stuff.

Great Tiger used to break into markets as a kid and steal snacks with his friends, he got spotted while getting out once and ran 5 blocks away.

[jymwahuwu]

hiigiigig hello the bimbo reader w Dr. ratio is in my mind for days 🤯 soo what if aventurine n bimbo reader... and they meet at the casino or in the golden hour

I'm just yapping thoo, no need to do it 🙏

Aventurine is a little confused about meeting you at the casino.

Why are you here? Dressed beautifully, with a burning face, gambling among people with evil intentions. Gee, did they get you drunk? You are really dumb…

After the employee announced that you had lost all your chips, people booed and threatened to push you down on the gaming table and molest you… Aventurine thought he would laugh at you, but he immediately threw those credits in the faces of those customers. His hands cupped your butt, and your hands wrapped around his neck.

"Thank you… Mr. Aventurine…"

No thanks, because what he's going to do to you is worse - actually. He immediately found a luxury hotel and closed the door.

Maybe you need some coaching on not being in those dangerous places and doing stupid things.

[swallowedbyfandom]

How to reassure via letter

Anthony Bridgerton,

Please come pick up our most whorish brother from my home immediately! Also please bring a complete change of clothing for him. His britches need to be soft and loose fitting. Something that will not rub against his sensitive bits. Per the doctor's orders.

How did this become my life? Why did I ever think marrying into your family was a good idea? Allow me to explain this current fiasco to you.

Benedict ridiculous lush that he is, was so foxed last night he could not locate his own bachelor quarters. He somehow managed to stumble across our home. That sounds harmless does it not? Fortunate even?

Considerate brother that he is, he opted not to knock on our door and disturb our household. He instead got the genius idea to scale over our garden wall. He somehow managed to injury his groin. Which led to him stripping nude to air out his injury. He fell asleep still nude of course in our gazebo. Unfortunately his bottom half was positioned in such a way that it was exposed to the morning sun for quite sometime. You can see where I am going with this.

Please stop laughing it gets worst, Ant.

My staff graciously relocated Ben and his burnt bits to our guest quarters to await the doctor. I was pulled from the nursery and told Mr. Bridgerton was injured in our gardens and need medical assistance. Not a single damn person thought to clarify that is was not my Mr. Bridgerton that was injured. So I strolled into the bedchamber as fast as can be without knocking. Only to be assaulted by the image of Ben spread eagle on the bed sun fried penis and scrotum on full display. My horrified scream brought Colin running to see what was attacking me.

Needless to say, Colin was not pleased Ben "exposed" himself to me. My possessive husband then felt the need to defend my honor. A bottle weary Ben is a mouthy trouble maker. Which led to a shouting match between the both of them. I left them unsupervised as there are some things a sister should never be witness to. The doctor arrived shortly there after. By then he had to treat Ben for sunburn, dehydration, and a black eye.

I have two full grown belligerent Bridgertons in my home. I also have two belligerent infant Bridgertons in my home. Which do you think are causing me the most grief this morning? I cannot deal with these two today, the children are teething. Sort this out!

Your most traumatized sister,

Pen

P.S. The doctor prescribed a burn paste. Ben is refusing to reapply it. He claims it burns too much. I leave this in your hands!

(Card attached to floral arrangement)

Sister,

I apologize that your eyes were so ill treated this morning.

Regretfully, I have seen Ben in worst conditions.

On the bright side, this is prime sibling blackmail material.

Mirthfully,

Ant

(Card attached to floral arrangement)

Sister,

I promise to never pass out nude in your gardens again.

Tell my brother he is evil for setting mother on me.

Love,

Ben

[sepublic]

Alright hear me out. Pythor x Overlord yaoi. Think about it. The only people the Overlord has really interacted with are yes-men he created to serve him, such as Kozu and Cryptor, or people he's manipulated after rescuing at a low point in their lives, so Garmadon and Harumi.

Pythor is different; He's someone wholly independent of the Overlord, who went out of his way to find and rescue him, totally of his own volition. The Overlord might not have even known Pythor existed up until they met. Others, the Overlord has had to control and take advantage of, but him and Pythor are always on the same track, there's no moral hesitation on his end. They have an evil laugh together, the Overlord outright tells Pythor that he likes him.

Of course Kozu and Cryptor do everything for the Overlord, they were made for that. Pythor CHOSE to be unconditionally loyal. He says he wants the Overlord as a means of revenge against the ninja, but he still took a bullet for the Overlord, which necessitated Zane's sacrifice. Maybe Pythor was more assured of the Overlord's ability to destroy the ninja than his own, and was willing to die for vengeance because what else does he have left?

He's an outcast by Serpentine standards; In the canon Pythor's Revenge book, part of his motives for stealing the BorgWatch ahead of its release was to impress his fellow Serpentine into letting him back in, but they don't. Everyone blames Pythor for nearly getting them killed, he's hated by his own kind now, and was evidently somewhat of a black sheep even amongst his own Anacondrai, who eventually did recognize him at the end of S4.

Does Pythor even know what he's doing with his life anymore, or is he just angry and bitter and looking for an outlet? Has he been driven twice mad, first by surviving the starvation and Donner Party cannibalism of his kind, and then burning inside of the Great Devourer? He was all alone after the Great Devourer, vulnerable and having to take care of himself.

Maybe he sees himself in the Overlord, someone considered an absolute monster with nobody else on his side, who just wants to lash out at the world. Maybe there's a kinship between the two, where Pythor gives him the helper he himself needed. Multiple times, he is the Overlord's savior, when usually it is the other way around between the Overlord and his found champion; There are times where HE is guiding the Overlord with advice, having a grounded, mortal perspective that he needs. The Overlord has had minions and pawns, but him and Pythor genuinely feel like an equal standing.

Don't you think it's kinda sus that the Overlord trusts Pythor more with his damaged condition, than the Nindroid he literally programmed to serve him? He knew Cryptor longer. But Pythor's willing, unconditional loyalty really is something else; I think the Overlord's never had a mortal choose to be on his side without coercion of some kind, so he's like his first real friend. The only person he actually respects enough to listen to; Someone the Overlord trusts to intimately hide in the body of, over any other mechanical means up until this point. Maybe he was just sick of robotic confines and wanted to feel flesh. But maybe…!

Cryptor is wary of Pythor and learning the Overlord really did trust this Serpentine more than his own creation is frustrating to him. He thinks they're both vying for paternal affection from the Overlord. On Cryptor's end, that is the case. But for Pythor, he, um. Fucked that old man.

In Crystalized, I kinda see the Overlord as replacing the twisted paternal role that Harumi tried to place Garmadon into. So in addition to any possibly objections over the mastermind of her parents' demise being on C.O.C.K., not only is the Overlord justifying it by explaining that Pythor is loyal, but also. Also he's his husband. Evil purple couple. By extension that makes Pythor her dad, her fourth dad. Harumi has to explain to Mr. F that Pythor fucked her dad.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

I was wondering what you thought of the Dursley’s and their treatment of Harry, I know some people think the abuse was a negative affect of the Horcrux, do you agree or do you think they are just bad people

Hi 👋

Yeah, I'm familiar with the theory that the Dursleys were affected by the Horcrux in Harry, I don't think that's the case. We don't see anyone else being mean to Harry for no apparent reason. Ron and Hermione spend just as much if not more time around him and they never seem affected by any Horcrux magic.

The Dursleys are just bad people. Bad people I can understand the motivations of, but bad people nonetheless.

The text literally explains to us what Petunia's deal is. She's jealous:

“You knew?” said Harry. “You knew I’m a — a wizard?” “Knew!” shrieked Aunt Petunia suddenly. “Knew! Of course we knew! How could you not be, my dratted sister being what she was? Oh, she got a letter just like that and disappeared off to that — that school — and came home every vacation with her pockets full of frog spawn, turning teacups into rats. I was the only one who saw her for what she was — a freak! But for my mother and father, oh no, it was Lily this and Lily that, they were proud of having a witch in the family!”

(PS, 41)

Vernon is an all-around unpleasant guy who likes it when things are normal. He loves his family in his own way, but he's incredibly intolerant of anything he doesn't consider the epitome of normal.

As he sat in the usual morning traffic jam, he couldn’t help noticing that there seemed to be a lot of strangely dressed people about. People in cloaks. Mr. Dursley couldn’t bear people who dressed in funny clothes — the getups you saw on young people! He supposed this was some stupid new fashion. He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and his eyes fell on a huddle of these weirdos standing quite close by. They were whispering excitedly together. Mr. Dursley was enraged to see that a couple of them weren’t young at all; why, that man had to be older than he was, and wearing an emerald-green cloak! The nerve of him!

(PS, 6)

Dudley is more complicated, he was a child, with his very shitty parents who were the worst possible rule models for him, you can easily understand why he turned out the way he did. We also see he is capable of growth:

“I don’t think you’re a waste of space.” If Harry had not seen Dudley’s lips move, he might not have believed it. As it was, he stared at Dudley for several seconds before accepting that it must have been his cousin who had spoken for one thing. Dudley had turned red. Harry was embarrassed and astonished himself. “Well . . . er . . . thanks, Dudley.” [...] “But he hasn’t said thank you at all!” said Hestia indignantly. “He only said he didn’t think Harry was a waste of space!” “Yeah, but coming from Dudley that’s like ’I love you,”’ said Harry, torn between annoyance and a desire to laugh as Aunt Petunia continued to clutch at Dudley as if he had just saved Harry from a burning building

(DH, 40)

The fact Dudley’s treatment of Harry changed over the years and he became a better person thanks to knowing Harry proves the Horcrux didn't affect the Dursleys' behavior towards him. After all, if it did, Dudley wouldn't improve like this.

But the main reason I oppose the Horcrux made the Dursleys bad theory, though, is a narrative one.

I mean, shrugging all of the Dursleys' abuse of Harry to magical nonsense cheapens it. It gives them an excuse and basically absolves them. It means Dudley and his parents don't need to change, they're fine, it's just evil magic affecting their brains. It makes Dudley's small turnaround at the end worthless.

And worse than that, in my opinion, is how it makes Harry the cause of his own misery. I think it sends the completely wrong message to say that the abused kid is causing their own abuse by a magical halo that makes people evil to him. Like, that idea in itself is something I find incredibly vile.

Like, child abuse is awful, children in these environments often think there is a reason they are treated that way. That there's something they can do to make their treatment better. To make their guardians like them...

But there isn't. It was never their fault and the treatment isn't fair. There is no justification or reason that makes it okay.

I think giving the Dursleys a justifiable reason to abuse Harry goes against all of that. It cheapens the narrative, excuses Harry's suffering, weakens Dudley's mini-redemption, and it makes me feel super icky.

[nightghoul381]

Ellis Twilight~ Main Route Chapter 1

Disclaimer for route warnings | Masterlist

Additional Content Warnings: None

This a fan translation so it is definitely not 100% accurate. I do not own anything related to Ikemen Villains. Support Cybird by buying their amazing stories!

Part 1

--What is happiness?

It’s like a twilight sky that changes color the moment it burns into your eyes…

Even though it holds my heart forever and never lets go, I can never have the same one again.

Time, stop—don’t let this happiness fade away.

(From today onwards, my life will be monitored by the members of the assassin organization “Crown” that controls evil with evil.)

As a ‘fairytale keeper’, it is my duty to record their sins—my only lifeline.

Getting ready in front of the mirror, I try to re-energize.

(Honestly, I’m scared to face ‘sin’ again…)

(Up to this point, I’ve only had to deal with complaints at the post office or handling deliveries in crazy busy situations.)

(I’ll be okay, I’m sure it will work out somehow.)

Kate: “Okay, only one month. If I try, I can do this…okay.”

I repeat this to myself like a mantra, opened the door and took a brisk step forward--.

???: “Woah.”

Kate: “Kya!?”

I accidentally bump the tip of my nose into the chest of someone who was standing in front of the door.

Kate: “I-I’m sorry…!”

Ellis: “I’m sorry too...are you hurt?”

(Oh…this guy--)

--Flashback—

Harrsion: “…So what are you going to do now that you’ve explained everything so thoroughly, Victor?”

Victor: “Hmm…That’s right…”

Ellis: “Shall I kill her?”

(Eh--?)

Ellis: “She doesn’t look happy at all, but I’ll take the job.”

--End Flashback—

(He was the first to suggest killing me.)

(But, after that…)

--Flashback—

Ellis: “I’m Ellis.”

Kate: “Ellis… Nice to meet you.”

Ellis: “Mmhmm… likewise. Jude and I are often away on business.”

Ellis: “While I’m here, I’ll make you as happy as possible.”

--End Flashback—

With the same mouth, a line that sounded like a marriage proposal was said without hesitation… what an odd person.

(Why is Ellis in front of my room?)

Part 2

(Ah, I see. Surveillance has already started.)

If I misbehave, I might be killed.

(I can’t just keep acting like everything is the same.)

(I’ve already stepped into a different world.)

Kate: “Mr. Ellis, right…? I look forward to working with you from today onwards.”

Ellis: “Yes, Ellis Twilight, nice to meet you… no need to be so formal.”

Ellis laughed lightly and looked into my face with concern.

Ellis: “…your nose is getting red.”

Ellis: “Sorry, the door opened just as I was about to knock, so I couldn’t avoid it.”

A long, slender arm holds the door.

Behind his curly hair, as his name suggests, are twilight eyes.

I gasped when I notice how close we were and hurriedly apologized.

Kate: “No! I’m sorry I got anxious and jumped out…”

Ellis: “Are you anxious? Why?”

Kate: “What!? Um…”

(“I was getting anxious because I was scared of living with all of you.”)

(I can’t say that…)

Kate: “It’s like I was transferred to a new department that I don’t know at all…”

Kate: “It’s like… Gaahhh!”

Ellis: “Gaahhh…”

Ellis blinks in surprise.

(Ah, that was too weird…)

Ellis: “… you’re a cute person.”

Kate: “Um… it’s okay, you don’t have to follow me…”

(I should have been able to make up and excuse, but I feel so embarrassed.)

As I avert my gaze, looking for a place to move to, Ellis returned to a straight face and spoke in a whisper,

Ellis: “ I’d like to give you your first job in the ‘new department’… is that okay?”

Kate: “---Wow…”

(What a beautiful garden.)

I was taken to the courtyard of Crown castle…

There was a beautiful English garden that had been carefully maintained down to the last detail.

Seasonal flowers are in full bloom, and it smells like paradise.

(Last night, I could only feel the majesty and dangerous atmosphere of the towering castle…)

(But there are places where I feel so at ease.)

As I followed Ellis down the path, admiring the beautiful garden, a gazebo came into view.

Tea and scones are set on the table, as though a tea party is about to begin.

Ellis: “Please sit.”

Kate: “Oh…uh, thank you.”

Ellis pulled out a chair and was waiting for me, so I sat down in the chair, confused ,and he sat in the seat across from me.

(You said earlier that you wanted to give me a job, but…)

Kate: “Is this where I’ll be working my first job?”

Ellis: “Yeah… your first job is to eat breakfast with me.”

Part 3

Ellis: “Yeah…your first job is to eat breakfast with me.”

(…hmm?)

Ellis: “Tell me about yourself while eating delicious food, I’ll tell you about myself too.”

Ellis: “If you record it, it will count as your report as fairytale keeper, right?”

--CHOICES---------------------------------

That’s honestly helpful/ That honestly helps +4 +4

Isn’t that a nuisance? +4 +4

Why would you help me? +4 +4

----------------------------------------------

Kate: “Why are you helping me?”

Ellis: “I thought it would make you happy.”

It seems like he’s seriously trying to help me.

Ellis: “I’ll also tell you about the other members of Crown.”

Ellis: “I think it’s a little scary to live among people you don’t know.”

Kate: “…!”

(I never expected this ‘first job’ to be…)

Kate: “Did you invite me just to relieve my anxiety?”

Ellis: “…That’s a little bit correct.”

Kate: “A little bit?”

Ellis: “It’s also for me to talk to you… that’s the bit that was incorrect.”

A faint smile appears on his lips.

(Maybe my first impression of Ellis last night was a misunderstanding.)

Just being near him made me feel like my temperature dropped instantly.

It felt like something was peeking out at me from the gaping darkness--.

I’m sure I felt that kind of anxiety last night…

(I don’t feel that way from Ellis in front of me now.)

(Maybe it was because I had just witnessed the murder scene.)

I gently pushed aside the strange feeling in my chest and decided not to acknowledge it.

--In hindsight, that turned out to be a mistake.

Part 4

(Anyway, Ellis took the trouble to arrange this for me.)

(I’ll take his word for it and listen to various stories.)

Kate: “Thank you, Ellis.”

Ellis: “I haven’t done anything to deserve your gratitude.”

Ellis: “Do you like sweets? These are scones Victor baked this morning.”

Kate: “Eh? Victor baked…?”

Ellis: “Yes, it’s like his hobby. Al is also a good cook.”

Ellis: “The clotted cream is something I learned from Al and made myself.”

Ellis: “Liam recommended this jam, so he bought it for me.”

Ellis: “Perhaps he knows a lot about what’s trending because he’s a stage actor.”

Ellis: “This meat pie is from the restaurant where Roger took me to lunch the other day. He treats me to drinks often.”

Kate: “W-wait a minute. I want to write down what you just told me…!”

When I take out my notebook that I had kept in my pocket,

Ellis told me a lot about the people in Crown--.

Kate: “Oh, I know about the shop that sells this apricot crumble too! There’s usually quite a line there, right?”

Ellis: “I bought it with Harry. Harry apparently has a sweet tooth and is obsessed with delicious sweets shops.”

Kate: “Hehe… Everyone in Crown is good friends aren’t they?”

(I felt like I was living in another world,)

(I feel relieved to know that we are all people living in the same London.)

(Thanks to Ellis.)

With a big smile on my face, I spread cream on the scone in my hand.

Ellis: “Kate.”

Kate: “Yes…?”

Very naturally, the palm of Ellis’ large hand reached up to the side of my face.

Ellis: “You’re going to get cream stuck in your hair.”

Kate: “Huh? Oh…”

(That’s true, I didn’t notice.)

Ellis scoops up my hair with his fingertips and gently tucks it behind my ear.

Kate: “Thank you.”

Ellis: “You’re welcome… It was so good you went crazy for it didn’t you?”

Ellis, resting his chin on his hand, looked at me and smiled.

Kate: “…Yes, it’s delicious.”

Ellis: “Good.”

(If Ellis can do something like this so casually… he must be popular.)

Realizing that my heart was pounding, I tried to calm down my erratic heartbeat.

Kate: “Preparing a seat, caring about me like this…”

Kate: “Why are you being so kind to me?”

(I don’t remember doing anything to Ellis yesterday that would make him treat me so kindly…)

Ellis: “Kate, you haven’t looked happy since last night.”

Ellis: “I want the people around me to smile as much as possible.”

(That’s all…?)

(Even though I’m a complete stranger to Ellis… I don’t know anything about him.)

Kate: “Do you do this for anyone? Even if you just met for the first time?”

Ellis: “Huh…? Yeah… is that wrong?”

The simple question, in turn, made him look confused.

(Ellis is a bit of an odd person after all.)

(But…)

Kate: “…I’m happy.”

(I’m sure I feel better thanks to Ellis.)

Ellis: “I see… If you don’t hate it, good.”

Part 5

By the time the peaceful breakfast was over, my wariness had completely subsided.

Ellis: “Is going to the theater your hobby?”

Kate: “Yes. In fact, last night I took on an unfamiliar night shift because I wanted money for tickets…”

Ellis: “Heheh… you’re quite passionate.”

I chatted endlessly with Ellis, as if we were new friends.

Then, the sound of another set of footsteps echoed.

Victor: “Hey, hey! This is exciting!”

Ellis: “Victor.”

Kate: “…! Good morning.”

Victor: “Oh, you don’t have to stand up! I don’t want to interrupt your pleasant conversation.”

Victor: “Since Ellis offered to do so, I left breakfast to him… Do you feel a little less nervous?”

Victor kept smiling and looked at me searchingly.

The shadow of the unfathomable feeling I felt from him last night has faded, and I can feel the warmth of concern in his jewel-like eyes.

(Maybe it’s because I enjoyed my first job with Ellis and it relieved my tension.)

Kate: “Yes. Thanks to Ellis and the delicious scones you baked for me.”

Victor: “…”

When I smiled gratefully, Victor seemed a little surprised.

But soon a smile appeared on his face, like a flower blooming.

Victor: “Yeah, yeah. Your smile says ‘I’m so happy to be Crown’s exclusive fairytale keeper!’”

Ellis: “…Did it really say that much?”

Kate: “…hehe.”

Victor’s eyes narrowed as he watched my shoulders shake.

Victor: “Well I had two requests for you as fairytale keeper, keeping our secret and recording our sins.”

Victor: “The former is fine, but the latter I would imagine has you at a loss as to what to do specifically.”

Victor: “May I give a little explanation?”

Kate: “Yes. Please.”

Victor: “It’s not difficult. I want you to carefully observe the people of Crown and write down what you feel is a sin.”

Victor: “I’ll leave it to you to figure out how.”

Victor: “You can have multiple people watch over you on a rotating basis or you can choose one person to work with.”

(Observe the members of Crown carefully. I am free to choose my methods and partners… I see.)

Kate: “I understand, um, how far does my surveillance extend?”

Victor: “Even though I say surveillance, I don’t mean to restrict your freedom of movement other than going out alone.”

Victor: “I may ask you to accompany us on missions, but you can spend the rest of the time however, you like.”

I was a little relieved as I had expected to be under much stricter surveillance.

Kate: “Understood. Thank you for your explanation.”

Victor: “…Honestly, I was a little surprised just now. I didn’t expect to see your smile so soon.”

Victor: “You witnessed a terrible scene, and we are an evil organization that cannot be said to be safe.”

He gave me a joking wink…

Then Victor squinted his eyes as if looking at bright sunlight.

Victor: “I hope that the darkness that will inevitably touch you from now on won’t take away your smile.”

Strangely enough, I didn’t believe what I was told was a lie.

(The people of Crown are definitely dark and terrifying people who don’t mind harming others.)

However—I thought that if I looked deep into my heart, there were feelings that I could understand.

Victor: “Then I’ll excuse myself. The Queen’s Aide is quite busy.”

Victor seemed to have just come to see what was going on and immediately left without coming to the table.

(To record their sins, first I’ll have to take a good look at the members of Crown.)

In that case—I’d like Ellis to be the first one I want to know more about.

Such feelings come naturally.

Kate: “Um, Ellis…What are your plans for today?”

However, my question was interrupted by a harsh voice.

Jude: “Yer supposed to be workin. How dare ya slack off.”

Ellis and Kate: “!”

I jumped at the sound of a loud voice.

(That voice is--)

When I hesitantly turned around, I saw Jude standing in the garden with his arms folded, looking irritated.

(Oh, you’re angry…!)

Ellis: “Sorry. I’ll go now.”

Without even standing up, Ellis leisurely turned his gaze toward Jude and answered.

(Such carelessness….)

Jude clicked his tongue, quickly flipped his cloak with a flourish and left.

Ellis: “…As you can see, that is today’s schedule.”

Kate: “You work for a trading company right?”

(Jude is the president and Ellis is the president’s assistant...right?)

(I was thinking of observing Ellis, but maybe I should try another day.)

Kate: “Thank you for making time for me. Good luck with your work.”

Ellis: “……”

Ellis was staring at me, thinking about something--.

Kate: “Um…?”

Ellis: “If you don’t mind, would you like to come with me?”

Kate: “Why are you helping me?”

Next Chapter

[porcelainseashore]

Coffee & Secrets (4)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Rookie Cop! Leon x Barista! Fem! Reader

Summary: As a cozy coffee shop owner in Raccoon City, you’re no stranger to visitors seeking comfort, quiet, and warmth. When a rookie officer named Leon finds a kindred spirit in you, it sets in motion a chain of events that forever changes the course of your lives. An alternate universe set in Resident Evil 2 Remake and inspired by the game Coffee Talk.

Content & Warnings: Canon divergence, coffee shops, romance, slow burn, strangers to lovers, idiots in love, fluff, slice of life, swearing

AO3 Link

Chapter 4: Plans

“Claire?”

You had whirled around with a mop in your hand at the unexpected intrusion, catching sight of the familiar redhead grinning like a Cheshire Cat at the door. It was partway into your cleaning routine—one you usually completed before the shop was open.

Your eyes flew to the sign at the entrance. Well, that explains it. You had left it on the other way round by accident. Oops.

“The one and only,” she crooned. “Told you I would come back.”

“A woman of your word,” you acknowledged in appreciation. Discarding the cleaning equipment in the closet, you took down the postcard you had pinned to the fridge with a kitsch souvenir magnet.

She swiped the card from your hands mischievously, asserting, “So, I believe I’m long overdue for a drink?”

“What would’ya like to have?”

“Definitely something with caffeine in it,” she declared, placing a hand on her hip as if she meant business.

Fanning herself with the postcard, she proceeded to confide in you about her recent life changes. “I can’t actually stay long, Mr. Bertolucci’s got me on doc review tonight.”

You halted suddenly in the middle of preparing the drink, a wooden spoon suspended in the air, green powder swirling like dust motes around the tea bowl. The chashaku and the chawan.

“You’re Ben’s new intern?” you questioned, giddy with excitement.

“Yeah…? It’ll count towards my college credit. I’m a journalism major,” she clarified before teasing, “That also means I’ll be in town for a while, so you better get used to me! Say, you know the guy?”

You laughed soundly as you whisked the matcha into a thick paste with a traditional chasen. Looks like he took your suggestion to heart after all. “He’s a regular.”

Steaming the full-cream milk to perfection, you frothed it up before adding it layer by layer to the paste, your hand moving with practiced precision to create a delicate pattern in the bowl. When you were satisfied with the piece, you gave it to Claire, and at the same time, pointed to the armchair in the corner. “Usually sits over there and works through the night.”

“Yeah, he’s really passionate about it,” Claire concurred, cupping the bowl that she received from you with both hands. “I like that he doesn’t take anyone’s bullshit.”

“Just make sure you get enough rest too,” you reminded her. “Have plenty of breaks.”

“Thanks, mom…” she quipped, rolling her eyes as she punched your shoulder playfully. “So, how’s our all-star cop doing?”

“Leon?” you asked casually, busying yourself with arranging the drinkware and ingredients even though you had already laid them out the night before. “He pops by every so often.”

“Like, every day…?” she probed.

How did she—?

You paused your fiddling and peered up at her. “Who told you that?”

A devilish smirk emerged. “I heard it straight from the horse’s mouth.” She took a sip from the bowl, her face lightening up in contentment. 

“He kept jabbering on about you, hounding me to visit your shop. Not that I wasn’t planning to myself already,” she sighed exasperatedly.

“Oh.” You continued where you left off, this time taking a dry cloth to polish the glassware for the umpteenth time. If you squinted hard enough, there was always a speck of dust you missed.

“It seems you’re now very interested in that glass,” she said, exposing the truth of the matter behind your evasiveness. 

Damn, she would make a good journalist.

“He likes the menu, speaking of which, how’s the Matcha Latte?” you changed the subject smoothly.

“I’m sure he likes a lot more than that,” she muttered into the bowl before raising her voice to reply, “I love it! It tastes like the real deal—”

Suddenly, the door flung open, and you could hear Ben calling out with a sense of urgency, “Redfield! I got something on the footage, you might wanna check it out!” 

He tossed a roll of film over to Claire, who dove and caught it like a baseball player in a major league game. Then, he craned his neck in your direction. “The strongest coffee you've got, to go. I think we’re onto something here!”

Giving him a mock salute, you whipped up the Triple Espresso that he was fond of and poured it into a takeaway cup, fastening on the lid as you handed it over to him.

“Life saver,” he mumbled, slipping you the cash for both drinks with a generous tip before dashing out of the shop with Claire in tow, who managed to yell out a quick “Bye!” as she ran after him.

You only had a few minutes to rest until you heard a loud commotion coming from the outside. Hurrying to the door, you could make out the voices of Leon and another boisterous man, as if he had drunk something stronger.

“This the place?”

“No, Ryman, I’m not taking you in there! Let’s get you home.”

“Why? I’ve got two legs, don’t I? Never asked for a babysitter.”

“You won’t like it anyway, it’s not a bar.”

“Aww, come on, rookie! Gotta show me this girl you’re head over heels for!”

“It’s not like that! And don’t call me by that name!”

“Or what, Kennedy? You gonna sue me?”

At this, you swung the door open, and the two men stared at you sheepishly from the entrance. “Would you like to come in?” you gestured towards the shop behind you amicably.

The dumbfounded look on the brunette’s face gradually morphed into a smug smirk. The sharp smell of alcohol wafted from his breath. “How could I say no to a sweetheart like you?”

You noticed Leon cringing internally at the man’s flirtatious behavior as they both ambled in. Passing by, Leon gave you a weak smile before drawing close, whispering apologetically, “Sorry about my colleague, he can be quite a handful.”

Your lips stirred, but no words came. Maybe you didn’t have any for what you wanted to express. Instead, your hand moved on its own accord, touching his shoulder and tracing down his arm. He shivered in response, his breathing uneven as he reached up and clasped your hand in his, brushing his thumb against its back. “I—”

“Hey, Romeo, over here!” the other man shouted from across the room, already seated snuggly at the counter row.

Letting go, your hand dropped limply back to your side as Leon ripped his gaze away, grumbling at the interruption as he sluggishly lumbered over to its source.

“Anything I can get you?” you asked as you shifted behind the counter.

“Hmm, that’s a loaded question, sweet cheeks. What wouldn’t I like to have?” the man laughed, only to have it cut short with an ‘oof’ when Leon nudged him in the ribs.

“Right, where are my manners? The name’s Kevin,” he followed up, extending his hand which you shook while using the other to rub his side sorely.

“We were just at Jack’s Bar,” Leon informed you, his words chosen carefully. You managed to read between the lines of what he was hinting at and swiftly whipped up one of your special remedies.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” Kevin inquired eagerly as you laid out two portions of the mixture before them.

“Try it,” Leon answered for you as Kevin picked it up gingerly, examining it as if it were some kind of odd specimen.

“Bottoms up,” Kevin muttered, as he downed the pearly, alabaster liquid in one go. 

His face first twisted into an amorphous shape until his features relaxed and he nodded in approval. “Herby, but pretty damn good. What the hell is it?”

“Cough syrup,” you jested. It took them a while before they got the joke and joined in the laughter.

“Tell me if you still have a hangover tomorrow,” you instructed after they had settled down.

“What am I, the test subject?” Kevin blurted out. “And this, the cure?”

“It’s worked on most people,” you shrugged.

“Cute. Anyway, did you slip my friend here a love potion, ’cause—ow! Hey! What the—”

“Ryman…” Leon warned, as you watched the events unfolding before you with amusement.

You saw Kevin mumble something into the irate officer’s ear about “being his wingman” before turning towards you with a charming smile. Then, he addressed his colleague again, “Talking about minxes, what did you think about that lady in red today at the station?”

All at once, Leon’s face darkened and his mouth curled into a frown. “I don’t trust her.”

Patting his back, Kevin concurred, “Neither do I, Kennedy. She can flash that fancy FBI badge all she wants, but I smell bullshit.”

“Chief Irons seems to take to her.”

This seemed to annoy Kevin even more as he spat, “Chief Irons is a—” but then paused, realizing the situation he was in. Glancing at you, he sighed, “Yeah, foul mouth, my bad.”

“I don’t mind,” you admitted, guessing that the man was trying to keep up appearances for the sake of his friend.

“Keep an eye on her,” he advised Leon, who seemed to agree with him for once. “I’m gonna run some background checks. Doesn’t sit right with me how she can access all our private files like that.”

Fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket, he offered it around, but the both of you declined politely. Dumping some cash on the table, he hopped off his seat and grunted, “Well, I’m gonna leave you two lovebirds for the night.”

Before Leon could utter a single word, Kevin yanked him by the collar like an older brother roughhousing his younger sibling and said, “You better get in there before I do, rookie.” 

With a brazen laugh, he ruffled the blonde boy’s hair and sprinted for the door, leaving whoever was left behind to clean up the mess he made.

Burying his face into his hands, Leon groaned loudly as you snickered at him. “Cool guy,” you mentioned.

“He’s a piece of work,” came his muffled reply.

“I’m sure he just wanted the best for you,” you comforted.

There was an audible snort as Leon took his face out of his hands and peered at you. “What season do you like the most?”

You almost stumbled backwards at the abrupt change of topic and being thrust into the spotlight again. “Now, where did that come from?”

“I’m curious.”

You searched his eyes, but upon realizing he was not going to let up, you humored him, “When the air turns crisp and the daylight shifts tonally, so everything is awash in amber.”

He perked up, his smile widening as you continued, “And the smell of pine, spice, and bonfire just floods your senses.”

“The time before nature goes into hibernation—I know, I love it too,” he finished your sentence.

“Did you go hunting a lot back home?”

“I swear—” he laughed.

You had an idea of what he was referring to. “It was just a hunch.”

He nodded. “At this rate, you must be psychic. But yeah, I did. My dad brought me.”

“Do you miss it?”

“Mm-hmm. He taught me to take only what we need,” he recounted wistfully. “And those walks in the woods—god, I miss that. Just having the time, space, and quiet to think.”

Finally, he gazed at you, swallowing as if there were a lump in his throat. “I know this is a long way off, but… would you like to come with me next fall?”

“I’d love to.”

Dividers by @cafekitsune