#/cauthcanon/

[thesxmmersword]

Because it’s been on my mind ever since I did my serial DAO replays, here’s Cauthrien’s view on the mage situation as is in 9:31 Dragon;

It’s absolutely fine exactly how it is! (almost)

And within that, she includes everything. She means the Mage Tower, she means the Templars, she means the Mage Collective in Denerim, she means the Dalish! There’s a curious contradiction within Fereldan culture that both highly values personal and political freedom from a centralised governing body, whilst still maintain a somewhat recognisable feudal system. But it does mean that Cauthrien believes very fervently in people’s right to their personal freedoms. 

However, she is also very satisfied that Mages are dangerous and must have some kind of check to keep them from the kinds of abuses that Tevinter displays. And she believes the current situation almost perfectly creates just the right balance here. Templars hunt for mages outside of the circle, which means in order for mages to be free of the circle they must show strict self control, a communal sense of accountability and general respect for their fellow mundane neighbours. Which is exactly what the Mage Collective exemplifies! They manage their own people, work with authorities covertly in order to solidify their position and live peacefully in Denerim and beyond. The chapter in Gwaren has even found an ally in her from time to time!

And what of the circle mages? Well, Cauthrien has never known a system to work without some casualties. She has no trouble imagining that Templars use their power to take advantage of the Tower’s inhabitents. But isn’t that what mage politics is for? Cauthrien certainly couldn’t name any of the colleges of enchanters, but she knows they exist and it is not as though mages hold no power collectively. They could strike if they wished, stop serving their respective countries etc, debate more compromises. ‘It is how the world works’ she says, completely content on her own moral basis to hear about tranquility and the killing of apostates etc, expected failures in a system that is set up to handle an already dangerous situation. 

The Dalish she also views as existing with their mages just as intended. They don’t have the same concerns over unwieldy populations such as peopled cities do. They keep to their business, manage their own affairs and Cauthrien has certainly never been troubled by an out of control Dalish mage. Meanwhile she has heard the Guard-Captain of Denerim complain wearily of having to liase with Templars over the existence of some Blood Mage cult that is often routed but never seems to completely vanish and their leader is never caught. Which comes to the only thing she would change. 

Why are Templars a part of the Chantry, she asks? Why is the circle a Chantry run organisation? She does not care about the history, the fact is mages are a security concern of the countries they occupy, not a religious ‘duty’ or some such. Templars should not be above the Guard or answer to anyone but country-authority and Mages should be able to report abuses to those country-authorities. That’s it, that’s all she would change. 

In the end, Cauthrien opposes ‘change’ unless the issue impacts the many, such as in the Rebellion. She has lived through change and does not want to do so again, and feels entirely vindicated in that view when the mage rebellion tears up half of the Hinterlands. The basis of Cauthrien as a character is that she is morally in the wrong, but she is also difficult to argue with when her worldview is so moulded by her experiences. 

[thesxmmersword]

Part of the issue with my initial efforts with Cauthrien were that I always felt sort of ‘on the defensive’ about Loghain as a character and Cauthrien as an adult woman. There was a lot of assumption that Loghain was irredeemable and handwringingly evil etc, as well as an assumption that Cauthrien was completely helpless against his whims. So I felt it wouldn’t be productive to delve into Cauthrien and Loghain’s issues. Like the mere discussion of power imbalances always seemed to cascade into a very simple ‘Loghain tricked Cauthrien into trusting him and she never had any agency and was also a baby somehow’. Which was so antithetical to my portrayal that I didn’t want to encourage the notion. 

But!! Cauthrien and Loghain DID have issues within their relationship that were not addressed! Loghain allowed her too much free reign, for one. In reality, Cauthrien changed his mind, made him a far more ‘ends justify the means’ kind of man. Because their friendship was a place of mutual understanding and comfort, but it also became an echo chamber for their extreme ideas and concerns. And it didn’t help that they were never precisely wrong about the facts that founded their worldviews. But in the end, in talking to them both, Cauthrien is the one who says ‘what else were we supposed to do?’ whereas Loghain does admit he was blinded. Loghain is actually the more moderate minded of the two.

But here is where the power imbalance actually arrives. Because Loghain was comforted by Cauthrien’s constant vigilance and focus. He had a family, he lived a life, and benefitted from Cauthrien rejecting such grounding things for herself. He benefitted from her world and family being so tied to the military and he benefitted from the actions she took under his blanket mandate without really having to bear the brunt of the knowledge of what those actions were. But he still encouraged these actions in her, be it unconsciously or not. There is a universe where Cauthrien actually comes to the conclusion that they had been misled and the hardest part to come to terms with is that Loghain had used her, in a way, used her history and convictions. And it galls her more than she wants to admit that crimes she feels massive guilt for now are things Loghain would have condemned long before the blight, but by keeping a token distance from them he still had praised her for it at the time. 

[thesxmmersword]

DETAILED BACKSTORY

Early life  (8:89 - 9:03)

Cauthrien was born into a family of two elder brothers and in the years that came she gained another six siblings. As a child, she lived through the last thirteen years of the Orlesian Occupation. A dirt-poor farmer’s daughter, always hungry and in danger of some Masked Noble deciding that she was worth more as sport than as labour. It was a clawing and desperate existence with little to no moments of joy, a constant fight for survival and one that many of Cauthrien’s siblings lost. 

Those losses hit the young girl hard, her mind and, at times, her father, calling her responsible. The impact of the Occupation was indescribable on her. She was trapped, abused and helpless. Her family were killed off around her and she saw only doom and death in her immediate future. Everything she suffered was out of her control. She still had good influences and good principles from some and she would often go greatly out of her way to help others, risking her life for people she hardly knew. But Cauthrien was very young when she realised how powerless she was and it had a lasting and irreconcilable effect on her for the rest of her life. 

It was in her thirteenth year that the young King Maric routed the Orlesian forces and freed Fereldan from their tyranny. However, even with them gone, Cauthrien’s life did not become significantly easier. Less dangerous perhaps, she felt the freedom she had never known, but the influx of banditry was immense and immediate. Cauthrien found herself fighting off men twice her size on an almost weekly basis, but at the very least now she had a chance of winning.

Early Military Service (9:03 - 9:11)

It came to pass that in her fourteenth year she found a man being beset by a large group of bandits. She had still managed to hold onto some instinct of self-sacrifice throughout childhood, despite it all, so she quickly came to the man’s aid, picking off some of the bandits with her bow before charging in with a stolen Orlesian sword and hacking until none were left.

To her great surprise, the man she ‘saved’ turned out to be Loghain Mac'Tir, Hero of the Battle of Riverdane and one of King Maric’s personal friends and advisors. Cauthrien was awestruck. The feeling was apparently mutual because Loghain offered her a position in his Military. It didn’t even take thought, Cauthrien wanted to fight, wanted a purpose, needed a reason to continue on after everything she had seen and done. She wanted to feel like she was useful, that she deserved to exist, that she had control and power over her life. She could think of no one she would rather pledge herself to. Loghain was a saviour to her. If not for him, the Orlesian Monsters that had dogged her childhood and killed her family would still be abusing and infecting her homeland now. She would have died along with them, eventually. Now her life might mean something and if she spent it, it would be for a good cause.

And so she entered the Gwaren army as a new recruit, her commission and equipment fully paid and her housing dealt with. Still, initially she struggled. Cauthrien’s teenage years were entirely transitional. She was a mess of conflicting personality traits, opinions and capabilities. She could feel a boil of anger in her but was restless and confused about how to deal with it. All her trainers agreed, she was skilled, but they found her hard to control, hard to tire. It wasn’t until Lieutenant Rikke took her on that Cauthrien found the real rigid and all encompassing structure that she could settle on. Having strict rules, expectations and timetables counterintuitively gave her the freedom to explore more of herself. At the end of her apprenticeship, Rikke wrote this letter into her dossier;

FROM: Lieutenant-Captain Rikke of Redcliffe

SUBJECT: Soldier Cauthrien of West Hill, 9th Infantry Battalion

SUBJECT BORN: 8:89 of the Blessed Age, 27th of Wintermarch

DATE: 9:05 of the Dragon Age, 6th of Guardian

A description of the Soldier’s career and suggestions as to her assignments and promotions hereafter.

Cauthrien shows remarkable endurance of every extreme. Natural strength and height gives her an advantage on the field of battle and she is still young enough to be expected to exceed these attributes in the years to come. She outmatches all of her peers currently on simple physical levels and hand-to-hand sparring combat has seen her as the Champion for this year.

She has mastered Shield and Longsword at levels far above her peers and exceeds most of them in almost every other manner of battle, bar duel weaponry. Her abilities on horse-back still leave something to be desired and she has little to no literacy in any language. 

As a Soldier she shows promise. She follows orders precisely and without complaint. Her understanding of positions and combat movements is advanced due to specialist training and all of her Commanders have reported, at least, that she has never failed in her duties. 

A LETTER IS THEN INSERTED HERE 

To whomever this might concern,

  Cauthrien is a true asset, there can be no doubt of her potential. I do not think I have trained such a promising recruit in the whole of my career. Her tolerance to pain alone has seen her battle three men whilst trailing a dislocated arm and thinking nothing of it. I have seen a number of similar individuals, admittedly. Many Children who survived through the Occupation have emerged durable and committed to our Country’s defense.

However, Cauthrien shows extremes in all this, as well as the side effects. She holds a fury and a fear that I doubt she will ever be rid of. I have discovered little about her family, but from what I do know she has lost as much as any of us to the Orlesian’s swords. She has a drive to prove herself that, while it might be considered perfect for a life of service, I  would advise not encouraging. She has made it plain that sacrificing her life for her Country is her intended end and, Ser, it is disturbing to hear a pup of seventeen say such things in such a tone. 

I would suggest that any commander wishing to take her on in a full time placement should be aware of these factors and keep in mind she works best under strict timetables and orders.

 Her Loyalty will be well worth the effort spent to earn it.

In conclusion, Cauthrien is a candidate for greater promotion and I believe would thrive in a Captaincy of her own in years to come. For now I suggest offering her greater responsibilities and assigning her to a fixed Battalion with a steady command.  I agree with my Teyrn’s recommendation of introducing her to Commander Torvin of Maric’s Shield. 

Torvin, the old elf in charge of Maric’s Shield at the time, was suitably impressed. Young though she was, the members of the battalion were eager to welcome her. Perhaps because she was young. Quite a few lacked the vitality she possessed, nor could sport the kind of endurance she had any longer. She was welcomed and she was valued and with Torvin reporting directly to Loghain, she even saw more of him. And when she truly began working towards the betterment of Ferelden, bleeding and fighting for her country and winning alongside comrades who felt the same fervour, she realised she was powerful. And it viscerally delighted her. 

Now that she was no longer a cornered animal, but a formidable predator, quivering fear and crippling grief became roiling fury and stoney apathy. The extremes that she switched too shocked everyone. Suddenly gone was the quiet and defensive and stiff girl, she was an avenging angel of persecution, no Orlesian was safe behind Fereldan borders and she made absolutely certain it stayed that way. She and her comrades would goad visiting chevaliers into ‘friendly competitions’ that never ended well, but always ended with Cauthrien’s bloody victory. She was more unstable. Violence came to her easily and quickly. Everyday felt like an endless battle to keep control of her emotions when outside of her duties, a war she won the majority of the time, but those slips were cataclysmic in nature. Emotion she had been forced not to feel was returning to her, stale and bitter and poisonous after being left to ferment for so long. 

But crucially, her comrades in arms accepted this all as part and parcel. Many were old veterans to the occupation themselves, or indeed youths who’d grown up in it, Cauthrien’s turmoil was no stranger. They learned where not to touch her, they learned how to take her away from fights, they learned how to steer her out of trouble as though it was a natural part of duty, something they would and did do for anyone else. It was necessary, for her, to feel such rage, to validate how terrible it truly was. There was always too much fury inside her to fully release, but she managed to get some of the way there, she found a little calm place to settle and her new sense of family helped. 

Military Command (9:11 - 9:20)

Even better, at twenty one Loghain was suddenly placed as Regent to Ferelden and he knew he needed a trusted second to aid him in the turmoil of Maric’s sudden disappearance. Cauthrien was initially surprised to be requested, but it did not last long and she committed herself to those duties without reservation. With new responsibility and a new importance placed on her own reputation, she found even more calm and control and by the end of the year she had changed dramatically once again. Now she flexed and grew into herself, her initial rushed excitement of power tempering to a lionine contented confidence, her manner exuding and intimidating kind of comfort that made her perfect for command. Which helped greatly when she joined Loghain in besieging the Circle Tower and once again foiling an Orlesian plot to retake the country.

She retained her position as Loghain’s second after Maric returned, though she also returned to her duties within Maric’s Shield. An easier task than it sounded when Maric’s Shield followed their Teyrn so closely and received their orders from him directly. Still, it allowed her and Loghain to truly get to know each other. Cauthrien spent time with his family, became known and liked by Lady Celia and gained confidence in her right to stay at his side and exist in his circles. They came to trust one another too, in a more personal way, the trappings of hero worship finally discarded for genuine understanding and respect. They learned each other’s reticent and restrained languages.

And with Torvin’s retirement from command, Cauthrien was the natural choice to succeed him, though she was only twenty four at the time. It was well earned and well received within the regiment and Cauthrien herself felt heartily ready for the commission. A fact which she summarily proved a few years later. With her own alertness where Orlais was concerned and the information she was now able to access, realisation that the empire was beginning to once again test their borders came quickly and chillingly. Troop movements beyond the mountains, scout ships in Storm Coast waters, it felt dangerously familiar. But they could not risk any overt combat, trying to preserve the fragile ceasefire whilst Ferelden was still recovering from the occupation. 

Through a complex and intricate web of plots and misdirections, Cauthrien managed (using only her own forces) to draw some of Orlais’ emboldened forces over the mountains. With their crossing, an act of war in itself, Cauthrien no longer needed to show restraint. Maric’s Shield spent three months in the Frostbacks, crafting ambushes and disrupting camps, ensuring the emperor’s soldiers never left the mountains and culling any reinforcements that arrived. In the end she lead a crucial final onslaught that saw the snow painted red and finally drove any hint of a second invasion back. She sustained a near fatal blow to her chest in that final engagement and Loghain was at her side when she awoke. 

No one but Maric was made aware of anything surrounding the incursion, which was by specific design and Cauthrien had always known she would see no recognition for it. However, a year later, King Maric declared that Commander Cauthrien would be knighted for ‘dedicated service rendered for king and country’. And truly, though Cauthrien would have been content to simply do her duty, her knighthood was one of her proudest accomplishments and a true moment of success in her eyes. Even her parents came to witness it, though they did not stay long. 

However being Ser Cauthrien brought other challenges. Where classism had always been a factor in her life, her inclusion into the noble classes by way of her knighthood was not viewed favourably by all. She gained enemies within the nobility and her right to the title was often covertly questioned, though never in Loghain’s presence. But still, she was well prepared to deal with such petty issues by then and manage her frustrations when it became an obstacle to her goals. 

At thirty one the Gwaren forces were fully recovered and had become one of the largest and best kept armies in the country. Loghain’s duties took him often away from Gwaren and with his forces so large, he gave Cauthrien the title of General over their barracks. It was a point of amusement to them both that not a month after this was announced, Emperor Florian was found dead and his niece succeeded him. The girl had not held the throne long before official peace was declared between Ferelden and Orlais. It was a kind of victory, one that was celebrated quietly among Cauthrien’s circles. Loghain gifted Cauthrien the summer sword shortly after, something to mark the year. She accepted it with fondness and thoughtfulness both.

The Fifth Blight (9:30-9:31)

After a truly gruelling four years, Cauthrien and Loghain both face the news of a new darkspawn threat with an embittered and weary kind of dread. Maric’s sudden loss shocked everyone and Cauthrien was still worn from the search when Lady Celia suddenly and unexpectedly died, a further crushing loss to compound the hurt. She had been as present for Loghain as she could be, but she was aware this was a grief he had to contend with for as long as necessary and her true aid could come only with guiding his days and nights. Which had been her intent, until the next threat had arrived. 

Cailan had never been a man who inspired much faith in Cauthrien, though she treated him still with all the deference a King deserved. But the fact remained that Cailan was not ready to lead them all alone through this crisis and Loghain was needed, whether he was ready for it or not. And it was that kind of severity of purpose that she knew they both shared that made Cauthrien allow Loghain to push himself as he did. First their request for the Orlesian warden’s aide was met by a completely laughable demand, next Cailan became enamoured by Duncan’s charm and he became even less manageable, and all throughout the constant tension of Cailain’s treatment of Anora became harder and harder to bear. 

It also brought an unsettling amount of chaos into the Banns and Arls, the political climate unstable and growing worse by the day with Arl Eamon’s encouragement. All in all, Cauthrien was aware that they were sailing into dangerous waters and it only grew worse from there. 

With the disaster at Ostagar, Cauthrien could say she was disappointed but not surprised by Teagan’s idiotic dramatised rebellion. The landsmeet was perhaps a more horrifying failure than Ostagar had been, suddenly all of Ferelden was in danger of splintering apart at the worst possible moment. Blight or no, a darkspawn attack without opposition would see the country brought to its knees and thousands dead. And with the knowledge that at least half of the nobility were motivated in their insurgency just because of Loghain’s common birth, it ground Cauthrien’s teeth and dragged in her a very sharp kind of cold. She came with Loghain to the final meeting between him and Bann Bronarch, which could have stalled the fighting in it’s tracks if it had gone well. 

It had not. And Bronarch had been beheaded by Cauthrien herself. The battle was won and the crown gained the upper hand, but it did not feel like a victory to her. 

After that Cauthrien was mostly kept away from Denerim, risen to Captain-General alongside Loghain’s regency and fighting a bloody civil war for the eventual peace of the realm. She knew Howe to be a snake, she knew Loghain was slowly slipping under the weight of so much grief and horror, but there was little she could do. There were just too many fires to put out. And she admitted, she had lost her patience too. Bann Grainne had been so satisfied with herself, standing in front of a full years worth of burning harvest, and Cauthrien had lost her temper. They lost allies, even as they won victories, and though Loghain succeeded against terrible odds at wintersbreath, and Cauthrien clawed victory from defeat in both Oswin and the Lachus Valley, they soon realised it would not be enough. 

Arl Eamon’s recovery from their careful poisoning saw the end to their campaign and Cauthrien returned to Loghain for the Landsmeet. She found a thoroughly broken man. Others perhaps could not see it, but Loghain was so changed to Cauthrien that she sometimes could not recognise him. She found Howe’s influence so entrenched that there was no way for her to dig him out. Anora was wary of her now. The world was changed and, once again, for the first time in a very long time, Cauthrien was powerless to help. 

Loghain had told her not to accompany him to the Landsmeet. Cauthrien understood why, but that did not make her oaths or convictions any less binding, nor did she trust that either Eamon or these green wardens could successfully pull the country back from the brink. And so she had to stand between Loghain and death one last time. But her faith was shaken and she was wounded, weary and aching from all the harm she had caused to a people she had sworn to protect. In the end, when faced with the Warden a second time, she finally left it all up to fate.

[thesxmmersword]

Finally did my doodle meta on those fur pauldron things we see most fereldans wearing because I’m way too extra about this

[thesxmmersword]

OK, so continuing on from my thinking about... what I’m going to call Cauthrien’s ‘redemption’ for ease but which is not actually supposed to REDEEM her, here are my thoughts for the narrative.

Cauthrien, in her faux-’raceless vision’ manner, has no real solid concept of elven oppression or the racism inherent in human societies. Being able to comprehend this to some degree would be a really good start for her to reclaim somekind of empathy to others, realise that the world is not how she thinks it is. 

She also needs to be... almost unwittingly forced to care about people, not because she’s got to, not because it’s a part of her job to, but because she wants to. This is not, surprisingly, too hard. In her nature Cauthrien is protective. The goodness and good intentions she naturally possesses just need to be... strengthened. 

So naturally her redemption has to begin after the end of DAO and she’s been exiled. Or at least thats the easiest narrative. So, she’s alone, lost and completely self destructive. Without structure she is completely listless and lacking in any drive. Vulnerable too, which is important. She is alone.

And so she arrives in Kirkwall, lives on Sundermount for a while, avoiding the Tal Vashoth as much as she can and fighting when she can’t. As tough as she is, as near unbeatable as she is, this living takes a toll on her. Her wounds do not heal as fast as she’s accustomed, she doesn’t eat well. But still, when she comes across a small group of elves travelling across the wilds and being harassed by Mercenaries, she just has to step in. It’s in her nature. Disorder and crime just can’t be over looked.

To the elves, however, a giant woman with the bearing of a white knight and clad in rusted plate had appeared out of nowhere and saved them from racist bastards who wanted them dead or worse. And she had taken some heavy wounds for her trouble.

They’re just a few small families, not Dalish, Fereldan refugees who fled the blight but couldn’t get into the city. But even with their meagre supplies they help her, tend to her wounds. She hadnt expected to wake up after she fell unconscious but she is surprised by the welcome she recieves when she does. 

So the way this goes is Cauthrien is known by these Elves, they know who she is and who she’s loyal too. However, even if the decision isn’t agreed to by all, they think that she seems willing to protect them and with just merchants amongst them they do need protection. They ask this of her and, with really nothing better to do and knowing these elves are from ferelden, she agrees to this arrangement. They are surprised that she does, they have little to offer her. It takes a while for them to understand.

And so she protects them, advises their leader on where they should go, defends them valiantly against any foe single handed, because she doesn’t know how else to be. 

She gets used to being called ‘shem’, gets used to the younger elves glaring at her, some cowering from her. But it takes time for this kind of living to change her enough to ask why. Living just for the protection of others, not making a single decision of cruelty and being warded away from it at every turn. She isn’t used to seeing a small picture. It’s very peaceful. 

She becomes more talkative, some invite her closer but this brings her into conflict. Some ask her why, why does she defend the indefensible? Young elves shout and roar their anger with her. “What else were we supposed to do?” she asks, “ANYTHING ELSE!” they say, “WE ARE FERELDAN TOO!” She says she failed many fereldans that year, they retort that she had been failing them FOREVER. She’s used to these points, she isn’t used to not getting away from them. She claims that they don’t know what Loghain and she saved them from, what the Orlesians did to Ferelden during the occupation, what it’s like to be trapped and tormented and starved in your own home. They say they know exactly what that’s like.

There is a period where she is ostrasized again. She has said too much for them to welcome her. But she doesn’t leave, still defending them, sticking to the outskirts of their party but never going away. And she thinks. 

It is frightening to do, difficult. She gets snappy, unpredictable, a teenage boy sneers something at her one day and she terrifies him so badly he flees from her and all about him converge like she is about to strike. It’s an important moment. When she realises it is not right for the common people to fear those who should protect them. She knows fear, it doesn’t come from nothing, there is a reason her authority terrifies them. 

This is where she accepts that she’s been wrong. She looks back on her behaviour, the behaviour of her soldiers and sees it, sees the rot there. And in a moment of real horror she realises these shadows they cast, the kind of fear they cause, it’s what the Chevaliers did. What they did to her. That is probably the hardest part, to realise that Orlais has been affecting Ferelden still, been twisting their ways, behaviours, an insidious presence, meaning they never won their fight, they just left it half finished. She has nightmares for a long time after that.

But by clarifying it as a fight, it’s now something she has to see through. So she starts saying sorry. She doesn’t try to explain away her admiration for Loghain anymore, she just holds it and instead focuses on the wrongs done. She asks questions. She weathers the vitriol they throw at her. They deserve it, she agrees, let them vent. Everyone becomes surprised when she’s still there defending them every morning. So apologies begin to work, the Elves start wanting to help her understand now that she accepts what they say.

And the first major thing she realises is that what the Orlesians did to Fereldans and what humans do to elves has a name, it’s not unique, it’s a thing people do. This is a big revelation to her, but she grasps it as best she can. 

At this point their group is starting to grow. They head into the free marches and collect those in need along the way. A little community starts to develop. Cauthrien starts being angry when her charges are threatened, rather than maintaining her detached calm. She starts hearing her name more often. The boy she terrified? He asks her to train him one day, then suddenly she is training half the kids there and she remembers how much she loves training others to fight. And then she’s getting invested in everyone’s survival, training all members at least partially in self defense.

She’s done this before, she knows this feeling of love for soldiers. But they aren’t soldiers, they are ordinary people and they’ve changed something in her. She remembers the sacrifices she has made, good men and good friends sent to die, the many over the few. Suddenly she wonders if she couldn’t have tried harder to save more, save everyone. Her emotions are on a rollercoaster through this. Crippling her in grief and guilt one day and blanking her clean the next. It’s exhausting, she hates herself, she thinks of all her accomplishments and they suddenly all turn to lazy failures in her hands. 

There are things she can’t shake off. Her sadism for one. But she sees it, keeps it directed. She remembers her oaths as a Knight and puts more emotional weight on them. She realises why they’re there, that they have an importance and that trying to follow them isn’t just advised, it’s vital. Ideals aren’t the province of fools, they’re the backbone of a good society. 

This essentially works for all her exile verses in terms of Inquisition. She spends at least 5 years with these people and remains their protector. So there!!! I’ll figure out how to incorperate this into rping later. If people wanna chat to me about it or write threads surrounding it I’d love that!

[thesxmmersword]

☾

Munday Questions ||| ACCEPTING

☾:  Favorite moment from your Muse's canon, and why.

hOW am I meant to choose? She appears 4 (four) times in canon and three of them are my favourite.

That time when she turns to an entire army, waves an arm and they all about-face and leave? The POWER in that scene is so intense, Loghain tells her to do it and the intensity of the gaze that’s exchanged between them is CRUSHING. You think anyone else could withstand a look like that from Loghain Mac’Tir and not cower? Cauthrien fucking glares back, not a fliNCH and in the end the yank of her arm out of his hold says she does this because he ORDERS her too, not because he has cowed her. He’s distressed, doesn’t make this break in their usually easy back and forth acceptable, he doesn’t TREAT her that way, I bet he apologises later IHUSAuashiAS

Then? The first meeting with Loghain face to face, he comes to confront eamon, asks him to see reason, demand he give Anora the loyalty she deserves. And Cauthrien is just standing back, easy in her position, it’s her rightful space just a little behind and to the right of Loghain, an incredibly powerful presence. And when you insult him her response is such DISGUST, such dismissive disgust, she’s ready to cut you down in the hall at that very moment, how DARE you say such a thing? And it’s the only time Loghain says her name, it’s such a tender tone he takes with it just thankful but calming, he’s too old to get angry over petty insults, another reason why I think Cauthrien is probably worse than Loghain, less empathetic, more reckless, wild and out for blood whilst he’s had his fill of it years ago.

LAST?? MAYBE BEST???? The bit where she comes to the Warden and she’s so fucking ready to die. The bitterness and defeat and failure in her is so palpable but that STILL doesn’t mean she’s weak, she’s still going to FIGHT for the Honour and loyalty Loghain’s cultivated within her for more than two decades. And god it’s the bit we really see how fuckng cold hearted she is. ‘what about slavery’ ‘what else was he supposed to do?’ it’s so cASUAL this discussion of enslavement, she has NO emotions about it, no qualms, NECESSITY is the mother of evil. But fuck she came there as his second, knowing there was nothing she could do against these four elite warriors when she’s alone but hell, she’s a knight, this is a LANDSMEET they dont get to just waltz in, she’s going to make them fucking WORK for it, the only proper way for a Knight to die. And god, the two ways you talk her down are great but the Intimidation success answer has to be my favourite. You dont intimidate  her, you remind her of Loghain, of better times, she fucking SMILES!!! It’s such a tender sentiment after you’ve just threatened death, she goes damn nostalgic and I’m fucking SHOOK

[thesxmmersword]

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

sex+romance headcanons! ||| ACCEPTING

🎥 Who is my muse’s celebrity crush?

The Rebel Queen Moira. For sure. For definite. How could you resist someone called ‘the rebel queen moira’? She’d have put up posters of her in her room if she could. She STILL wears little purple accents on things JUST as a nod towards Moira and her iconic cloak. She was also absolutely star struck upon meeting Rowan. Women who defeated their invaders? A knight that charged down the enemy on a powerful steed? What young girl could resist! She also had a little crush on the IDEA of Rendorn Guerrin (not to be confused with Rendon Howe) A loyal Commander struggling for years, she modelled a lot of herself around him. 

🎀 Who would my muse sleep with if nobody ever had to know?

hMMMM... Zevran comes to mind but she wouldn’t mind people knowing about that. Hm... Like... she’s always wanted to dom Maric into the ground lmao. Cailan too. She definitely has a little thing about taking royalty down a peg or too and getting them to BEG her for things. This might stretch to Gaspard but only in theraputic cathartic fantasies, never a reality she could deal with. 

[thesxmmersword]

Teach them Fear

In the year 9:23 Dragon an Orlesian delegation arrives in Denerim. As per usual, the Chevaliers guarding their diplomat spend time amongst the Fereldan barracks, ‘to improve relations’ is the weak excuse. Of course all the Soldiers know there was only one reason a Chevalier challenges a Fereldan. They wanted to humiliate them. 

Ser Cauthrien had never allowed them the satisfaction.

The lion thought he was skilled, standing there, basking in his victory as the fereldan soldier choked in the dirt, he thought he was great. Better than her certainly, better than any fereldan in fact. He could walk onto a field of battle and his prowess would make every barbarian doglord cower in fear. 

Well, he hadn’t met Cauthrien.

She pushed her peer out of the way, clapping his shoulder as he bled all over the training field, fereldan blood staining fereldan dirt by orlesian hands. How poetic, she thought maliciously. She’d play out the rebellion all over again, right here, just like everytime the empire’s duplicitous ambassadors thought they were welcome in her homeland.

The chevalier was a man just shy of an inch shorter than her with a mop of blonde hair and the scraps of a beard visible below his mask. Cauthrien sloped her tall and muscular form up to him, predator-like, cool and calm with a small evil grin curling her lips and flashing her teeth. As indistinguishable as his face was, Cauthrien could tell her greater height and physique bothered him.

“A girl next, is it?” He jeered, working to regain his superiority. “Too ugly to find a husband so your parents sold you to the army? What a sad tale.” 

The Chevalier was surprised by the small ripple of dark laughter that erupted from the fereldan onlookers. They’d seen this happen before and were more than eager to see it again. Cauthrien’s grin widened too. There were no good Chevaliers, she knew that, but some tried to play at honour, chivalry. It had made the clashes too polite, the victories too respectable.

She much preferred them like this; unapologetically repulsive. The way they were made. 

But she gave no reply to his taunting, none verbal anyway. Instead she took a moment to obviously evaluate him, before casting the sword in her hand aside. Her gaze met the surprised look in his eyes behind the mask. 

“You must be joking!” He scoffed. She wasn’t. She didn’t need it. She rolled her shoulders, relaxed her stance, and beckoned. And, of course, how could a Chevalier resist a challenge like that?

His first swing was predicatable, as though he assumed she wouldn’t expect ferocity. A swift second strike made her duck but her motions were smoothe, almost lazy, her speed in comparison to her size instantly surprising. He pulled back for his third strike but Cauthrien brought her powerful legs to bare and drove her shoulder into his chest. He staggered, one step, two, but caught himself. He coughed and wheezed but held his footing, that Chevalier training coming into play.

Finally he seemed to acknowledge what this was, a real fight. But that light of confidence could still be seen in his gaze as he hunkered down into a stronger stance. Cauthrien was glad for it, she wasn’t done with him, not even close. 

And so they began again. A lunge, a quick strike, Cauthrien always an inch ahead of his blade’s path, barely breaking a sweat. His movements began to gain the strength of frustration, his breath heavy with annoyance. Chevaliers didn’t tire, but they could be goaded. She could picture his teeth gritted, eyes wild, it was almost as satisfying as seeing it.

Eventually he lashed out, a sweeping strike meant to force her back. However, Cauthrien did not move. The sword carved a gash across her shoulder and there was a small spray of blood from the force of the blow. The Chevalier stepped back, shocked and confused, eyes darting from the red at the edge of his blade to Cauthrien’s still figure, raw flesh oozing blood that tracked down to drip from her fingers. 

And when she turned to face him, raised her arm to observe the rivulets of crimson running down her skin, met his gaze, he must have felt a cold chill down his spine. The meaning was clear, she bearly noticed. Cauthrien’s expression spoke of how meaningless his efforts were, how small and pathetic he appeared. 

“Why?!” He asked, his discomfort edging into his tone.

Cauthrien’s grin was ugly, but she didn’t answer. Instead, a man in the crowd piped up in an insincere tone, “The Chevalier spilled blood! You’ll have to defend yourself Commander!” He could barely get it out without laughing and soon all his peers joined in the jeering.

And the Chevalier was incensed. He bellowed a warcry as he surged forward to strike again, his sword arcing towards her head, her death now his design. 

Cauthrien caught the blade. 

A swift twist of her wrist and nudge with her palm and the edge barely cut her as she gripped it’s tang. She allowed herself a half second to appreciate the look of surprise in his eyes before she bunched her fist tight about the sword and slammed that fist into his face. His mask shattered. Cauthrien advanced on him as he staggered from the blow. 

He regained his eyesight just in time to watch the drag of her bloodied hand down her face, giving herself the most violent of smiles. The teeth she flashed him were tinted red.

“Fucking barbarians!” He choked as he stumbled back, trying to blink away the shards of porcelain in his eyes. All the onlookers were jeering now, worked to a fever pitch and so ready for what came next. 

The first of her blows was across his face, a slap that echoed around the training field and made him growl in fury. He tried to retaliate, but the fist he raised with his sword only found Cauthrien’s grip and it was then that he truly knew her strength. For all his training, for all his superiority, for all the legendary status of the Chevaliers, he was powerless in her grasp. It didn’t matter that he was armed and she was not. It did not matter than he had the full force of his shoulder behind his sword stroke when her fingers were curled about his own. She was stronger than him, by miles. 

And that realisation, playing out on his face, was what Cauthrien lived for. She fed on it. She thrilled to see it. Oh, it was good to be strong, but it was sweet to be feared for it. 

She drove her knee into his stomach. Boxed his ears. Broke his nose. Made him spit teeth. Felt his ribs fracture. Sometimes he fought back, she got a black eye, small cuts over her arms and chest. Chevalier’s were durable, they lasted. 

But fuck if that wasn’t the only thing Cauthrien liked about them. 

It meant when she grabbed his neck in an iron grip, when she finally slammed him into the ground, planted herself over his chest, grabbed his arm and near bent it in half over her knee, he didn’t give up immediately.

The feeling of him flexing, struggling underneath her, his breath coming hoarse as she crushed his windpipe, it was near intoxicating. He whimpered to feel his elbow creak under the strain. It was perfect. 

But, eventually, his shaking grip on the hilt of his sword failed. The blade clattered noisily to the floor as he made his last heaving effort. Useless, as useless as the rest.

“I yield.” He croaked, nearly whispered.

She ignored him.

“I yield.” He said, with more force this time, more desperation. With his mask gone so was any pretence at neutrality. He was scared.

Still, she held tight. 

Panic now, disbelief, he struggled again with more terrified urgency, trying to gasp more air into his lungs as he clawed at the hand about his throat. “I YIELD blast it I-”

With a squeeze, he was silenced. His eyes bulged as she looked down on him, nothing but satisfied contempt in her expression.

“I could do anything to you, Chevalier.” Ice cold, low, apathetic. “None of these soldiers would say a thing.” And, oh, did they look like it. A circle of faces that spoke only of HATE. 

The Chevalier convulsed, unable to scream but so obviously wanting too.

Cauthrien continued, lower and almost dismissive. “I could kill you if I wished. There is nothing you can do now.”

She holds for a beat longer.

And then releases him.

He gasps and chokes as she rises to stand, looming over his wheezing form, casting a dark shadow. 

“Remember that feeling. You, and all your ilk, are dirt to me.”

And in the dirt is where she left him.

[thesxmmersword]

Things Cauthrien, as a survivor of an oppressive genocidal regime, is allowed to do: Hate Orlesians, not want to be involved with Orlesians, get angry when people call her slurs or use racially charged language around her, be scared of a second invasion and take steps against that, be absolutely enraged, never accept any apologies for what happened but be furious that no one ever apologised anyway, be fucked up in 2000 different ways, beat up Orlesian Nobles when they show themselves to be the true racist scum of the earth that got nearly half her family killed and her whole country impoverished and traumatised for years to come, indulge in hypothetical power fantasies about killing/torturing her abusers, say things like ‘all orlesians are disgusting/vile/awful/scum’ and say ‘burn Orlais’.

Things Cauthrien, as a survivor of an oppressive genocidal regime, is NOT allowed to do: ignore the oppression of other races, kill/maim/hurt/scare other people just because they might be Orlesian and she likes people fearing her, use her uneducated status to excuse her pitiful knowledge of other people’s issues, use her trauma-related inability to empathise with people to excuse her not even trying to understand other points of view, killing/maiming/hurting/scaring innocent people in her quest to make sure the occupation never happens again, use her trauma-induced attachement to her country to ignore it’s genuine flaws and not work to improve them, be an asshole, actually burn Orlais.

[thesxmmersword]

Delighted reminder that!!! Cauthrien could beat aLL OF YOU!!! (except the mages) EVERY SINGLE ONE OF U SHE COULD SNAP U IN HALF (unless she couldn’t get to u cus mage) SHE’S THE MOST CANON OP CHARACTER ITS RIDICULOUS AND I LOVE IT!!! (with the exception of most higher tier mages) MY GIANT BUTCH SAPPHIC WARRIORESS POWER FANTASY!! I’VE NEVER LOVED AN UNBEATABLE (ish cite. Mages) CHARACTER MORE THAN SER CAUTHRIEN OF FERELDEN!!!

[thesxmmersword]

Admittedly even I don’t entirely agree with the concept that Ferelden isn’t somewhat more tolerant than Orlais as far as Elves go. The impression given from Orlais is an entire system utterly based on Elven oppression with elvhen persecution nearly written into the cultural rulebook, along with racism in general tbh. Ferelden’s inherent racism is more like ‘violent actions taken against the elves are technically illegal its just no one really looks’ kinda thing. I’d say Elves are at least 10% safer in Ferelden than Orlais. Knights don’t gotta go on Alienage rampages to graduate at the very least. 

But no Cauth 100% believes Elvhen persecution is just ‘skin deep’, she’s confused by people’s actions against them and just kinda slots it into ‘annoying shit that confuses me and I don’t wanna expend energy in understanding’ and as much as she’ll help elves as much as humans and does understand that the alienage gets attacked a lot and tries to combat it its... not like she’s any kind of ally, she really just doesn’t get it.

[thesxmmersword]

To add onto the topic of a few days ago that I’ve still been thinking about; there’s some basis to say that Ferelden was actually originally a more tolerant society than it is now. We know that Orlais had a meaningful influence on how the Country ran, how the Nobility saw themselves, that sort of thing. It makes sense to say that near 80 years of Occupation would have had a big impression on the prejudices and cultural opinions of Ferelden. 

And that really leads into the discussions surrounding the lingering scar that Ferelden bears since the Occupation, a scar no Fereldan wants to admit too. Cauthrien? Admitting that Orlesian culture still influences her society to this day? That they still aren’t truly free? She can’t cope with that, she’d fight so fucking hard against that. Fereldans as a whole would have to shirk their pride and admit they would never be the same as before the Orlesian Invasion and oh boy would they rather continue abusing the Elves and Common Folk than admit to defeat like that, admit that they needed to change. The rebellion was a complete success, Orlais is completely defeated and anyone who says otherwise is a cheese eating surrender monkey. 

[thesxmmersword]

New changes to Cauthrien and her general personality, I’ll probably add to this list:

She actually is incredibly sexually casual and promiscuous, there are a lot of happy Bann’s daughters around court. She will have one night stands with strangers.

She’d struggle a lot with being a mother. In fact, depending on the timeframe, she might fuck it up a lot. And she’s not that sure she wants kids.

She actually DOES somewhat comprehend the racism against elves and has actively tried to combat it in the past but this just makes the slavery thing even worse.

She is not, however, supportive of the Dalish and considers them enemy combatants. A problem to be solved.

She can hold her liquor pretty well and often shares drinks with companions. However, she rarely purposefully gets drunk.

[thesxmmersword]

PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP MEME!

tell everyone how to start pre-established relationships with your muse! How to be their friend? Enemy? Ex? Go for it! Have lots of fun and tag five blogs you want to know better afterwards!

tagged by: @prideofaeducan (thank you for letting me use this idea bean!) tagging: @bcnquet, @crownviper, @atonings, @vicemirrored, @theeternalsun, @magicbound, @novasurge

FRIENDS

Your muse was a young recruit beside Cauthrien

Your muse was once freed from prison by Cauthrien after they were found innocent

Your muse was freed from jail by Cauthrien after making a deal with her

Your muse tips Cauthrien off about an assassination attempt on her charge and they went to investigate

Cauthrien defeated your muse in a Tourney and the fight was so good you had a drink later

Your muse finds Cauthrien after some kind of self sacrificing heroism and heals her

Your muse and Cauthrien team up to take down a shared enemy

Cauthrien casually recommends the best Swordsmiths to your muse

ENEMIES

Cauthrien killed one of your muse’s friends/family

Cauthrien wrongfully tortures and jails your muse for something they didn’t do

Cauthrien puts Ferelden before something important to your muse and so refuses to help them

Cauthrien sides with someone your muse hates because it is more practical

Your muse watches Cauthrien do something despicable ‘for Ferelden’ and never forgets 

Your muse is a Mage and hears Cauthrien’s views on Mage Rights

Your muse is a devoted Templar and hears what Cauthrien thinks about Templars and the Chantry

Your muse is Andrastian and hears what Cauthrien thinks about the Chantry

Your muse is Orlesian and you come to Fereldan Court and Cauthrien makes your life miserable 

EX-LOVER

Your muse is a foreign noble and they tried to persue Cauthrien whilst on a trip to Ferelden. Eventually, she recciprocated.

Your muse and Cauthrien fight together in an extended battle or War and one night trust turned into touch

At a ball, your muse danced with Cauthrien and her Knightly manner swept them off their feet. 

Cauthrien saved your muse in a dramatic and daring rescue. Later she comforts them.

Cauthrien wins a Tourney match against your muse and the tension in the fight turns into something else afterwards.

Cauthrien is charged with guarding your muse and with that closeness comes touch

[thesxmmersword]

- ADULTHOOD

Cauthrien’s teenage years were almost entirely transitional. She was a mess of conflicting personality traits, opinions and capabilities. When she joined the military she was given some structure and that, counterintuatively, gave her the freedom to explore more of herself.

Essentially, everything changed once she reached adulthood. Quivering fear and crippling grief became roiling fury and stoney apathy. The extremes that she switched too shocked everyone. The Cauthrien of the blight and later could never compete with a newly Knighted Cauthrien in terms of anger and prejudice. She was an avenging angel of persecution, no Orlesian was safe behind Fereldan borders and the Knight made absolutely certain it stayed that way.

She was also more unstable. Violence came to her easily and quickly. Less controlled. She let her temper twist up into a knot until she had no choice but release it. One moment she would seem utterly calm, the next she had slammed a man up against a wall by his throat. Everyday felt like an endless battle to keep control of her emotions, a war she won the majority of the time, but those slips were cataclysmic in nature. And it wasn’t just anger, she expressed more distress and misery too, even if that still wasn’t much. Stuntedly trying to explain her distress whilst never making it specifically about her.

It was almost as though the emotion she had been forced not to feel was returning to her, stale and bitter and poisonous after being left to ferment for so long. But she found outlets, not particularly healthy ones but it was something, and the tension she could inspire was often greatly helpful. For as many fights she has won through strategy and her own strength, she has intimidated soldiers into flight just as many times.

Still, this openness finally let her make friends, connections with others, even if it was in the most stunted and stuttered manner. She found people who cared about her. She found reasons to get up in the morning and smile. She even found people who understood somewhat of her trauma, her life, the things she struggled with.

It was necessary, for her, to feel such rage, to validate how terrible it truly was. There was always too much fury inside her too fully release, but she managed to get some of the way there, she found a little calm place to settle.

[thesxmmersword]

- CHILDHOOD

It might seem as though Cauthrien was always angry and aggressive, it’s such an integral part of her character these days. But as a wee thing, she didn’t have the time to be angry. All the awful things were happening to her and people she cared about, she couldn’t be anything but sad and helpless. She was quiet, eager to please, she tried so hard to be kind and understanding, even as she began realising how hard she needed to become. She figured out very quickly to never show weakness, but it took a lot longer for her to be capable of such a steely appearance.

Pain hurt, but she would crawl into some dark place to sob over any injury she gained. When she lost things she cared about she took her grief to the remotest places, because she was never taught how to properly express such emotions, and in fact was encouraged not to feel at all.

But she still had good influences and good principles from some and she was incredibly altruistic as a child. She would go ridiculously out of her way to help others, already risking her life for people she hardly knew. She already began trying to save people, but unfortunately, as a child, there was very little she could do. She was very young when she realised, even if you tried your hardest, you could never save everyone.

Practically speaking, Cauthrien never had any formal education. She learned how to hunt and somewhat survive in the wilds, as well as gleaned some understanding of farming, but that was all. She was so rarely spoken too that her verbal development was considerably late and she barely talked at all until she turned fourteen. Indeed, she was essentially mute for a great deal of her childhood. Reading and writing seemed like spells and magic to her, completely unobtainable, not even for her use.

The impact of the Occupation was indescribable on her. She was trapped, abused, helpless. Her family were killed off around her and she saw only doom and death in her immediate future every single day of her young life. She was small and miserable and frightened and she had no way of making any lasting connections with anyone other than her embittered and dwindling family.