#//ty for the ask!!! sorry for the oweieees

[dreamingclockwork]

✧ craxis: the unease of knowing how quickly your circumstances could change on you.

Dear Mikhail,

Today was our last day at the Luofu, so we’re preparing to head off again. I met so many people, saw so many amazing sights and got to try so many delicious foods… I wonder, was this how you felt too as you journeyed across the stars? The feeling of excitement, of your heart thumping in your chest as you can’t wait to see what happens next.. I don’t think I’ll ever get sick of this feeling. It’s like my dreams are finally coming true, I get to see the world for myself. And it’s so much more vast, exciting and beautiful than I ever could’ve imagined! I’m happy, so very happy. It’s like the stars are shining brighter, every sight and every smell is so much more vivid. I never thought I could be this happy.

….I’ll admit though, the fact that I’m so happy also scares me a little. I’m scared I’ll lose it, this feeling, these people, this happiness.. It’s everything I ever dreamt of. I understand now why you loved to trailblaze so much. I miss everyone on Penacony, of course. Clockie and Sleepie, Miss Mirror and all our friends back home. But I don’t think I ever want to go back to the way it used to be. Back to only dreaming..

Dreaming…

(The following paragraph is notably messier, with tear stains on the page.)

I realized something, a few days ago. I was never supposed to see this, right? This happiness was never meant for me. I was never supposed to be a person… just a runaway dream, meant to fulfill a purpose. After that, like all dreams I was to come to an end. I was reminded of this because when I was washing dishes earlier, I accidentally nicked my finger. That doesn’t sound too weird, does it? But…

It wasn’t red.

I want to exist. I want to experience so much more, I want to see so many more places, I want to meet so many more people. But I’m scared. I’m.. not human, right? So what if.. what if the happiness I feel now will just cease to exist. If my wish runs out. If I lose my dreams..

What will happen to me?