#//shes a pro musician this shit is her job lmao

[sweetfloatapartment]

i dont usually add on to posts but i'm really passionate about all this like. it INFURIATES me that atlus has a record of doing this, where to varying degrees they show how the police are horrible and corrupt and then one of the main characters is like UwU i'll be a cop!!! it happens in persona 4 with chie and in p2EP with tatsuya (to a degree) as well as makoto in persona 5. it drives me insane because not only is it out of character, it just. undoes either 1. character growth or 2. the??? message of the story??? the writers can be SUCH cowards. Literally Stop Making Main Characters Bootlickers!!! anyways i have more thoughts on this in the notes ajdjkdjd i have a lot to say. makes me wanna rewrite their ending arcs. i already have in my head, but, yeah.

Atlus: so the cops r terrible and useless, they beat up teenagers, theyre all corrupt and let ppl in power get away with anything, all of the criminals in game are dealt with by a bunch of teenagers bc the police 1. dont care or 2. are incompetent, the justice system is heavily rigged, the one cop character related to a main character died a pointless death in the line of duty and accomplished nothing of note, a rag tag group of teenagers had little to no issue with tracking down a dangerous criminal while the police barely made an effort, multiple characters r shown using the corrupt system for their own benefit, the police literally drug a teenager and force him to sign a confession while threatening him with violence, a character is literally corrupted by the justice system bc its just that bad

Also atlus: well makoto weally wants to be a cop 🥺👉👈 twust us shes gonna fwix the system so its okay for her to be boowicker

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #416

“don’t pray for me when you’re the one to blame  /  don’t think of me when you go up in flames”

Does your town/area have a farmer’s market? Do you ever buy your vegetables there rather than grocery store? Not close enough for us to actually go there for groceries, no. If you had a significant other and somehow got a chance to kiss your celebrity crush, would you still go for it? Well no, given Mark's been in a serious relationship for like six years, and I'd feel disloyal to my partner. I can just dream about it, ha ha. Do you tend to be attracted to people that are more similar to you in interests and mannerisms or do you tend to be attracted to someone opposite/complementing to you? I tend to be drawn to people I'm more similar to. What is a talent that a lot of other people desire or value but you really don’t care to have (e.g., singing, etc.)? *shrug* If someone asks you to hang out, but for some reason you’re just feeling lazy/don’t want to go anywhere, do you ignore them, make up an excuse, or just tell them the honest truth? Tbh, odds are I'm making up an excuse. Would you like to meet an alien? That would depend on its motives. It might have wisdom to share, or it may be nefarious, in which case I don't wanna meet it obviously. If so, would you trust them enough to go back with them to their planet? That's a no no matter how it acts. Trust issues, my friend. And that's with humans. What do you think is at the end of space. It's kinda science that space is infinite... Do you like D&D or Magic: The Gathering the most? I've never played D&D because I know I would be way, way too awkward to actually do it. M:TG is fun, though. What is your favorite Disney movie? TLKKKKK. What’s your favorite book series? Wings of Fire tops the list right now, but Warriors will always have a very special place in my heart. What’s something you wish they’d build in your neighborhood? Idk. Do you usually keep ponytail holders around your wrist? No. I don't even wear my hair in a ponytail because it's too short. Sunny D or orange juice? Orange juice. I have to be in a very specific mood for Sunny D. Can you snap out of a bad mood fast? Nooooo, unless something drastically good happens. How can a person tell if you’re mad or annoyed? My face will probably give it away, mixed with me being short and snippy or more awkward than normal because I'm trying to not be a bother. What’s something you enjoy that’s outside your age level? Certain TV shows. When your friends come and hang out at your house, what do you get up to? The only friend I have that I hang out with once in a blue moon is Girt, and we'd usually play board games or watch TV. Do you think it’s ignorant for people to have unprotected sex when they’re not ready for a child? Yes. Like yes, I'm pro-choice so won't look down on someone getting an abortion, but I still think you should be willing to act to prevent things from getting to that point where that procedure is chosen. For it or against it, abortion is a serious decision and should be treated as such. What were your favourite things to do as a child? My favorite thing had to be video games, specifically Spyro, and I also adored Webkinz and Neopets on the computer. I also loved playing make-believe with my toys like every other kid. I loved watching Dad play video games, too. I've also been a drawing fiend since I was very little. If you were shopping with your best friend, and they picked an outfit that was completely unflattering, would you tell them? I honestly don't know if I would. Her being comfortable and happy in it is what matters, anyway. Do you prefer using air-con or having the windows down when you’re driving on a hot day? Team A/C for sure. I hate the feeling of wind just slapping the hell outta your face and making a nest out of your hair. Can you ever manage to finish three courses when you go out to eat at restaurants? No. What would you say your favourite farm animal is? Pigs! They are so incredibly misunderstood. They're very intelligent, CLEAN (I know, can you believe it?), silly, and happy animals that I just adore. Is your ex currently in a relationship and if yes, how do you feel about that? Idk if "the" ex is with anyone, and it's for the better I don't, probably. Which one of your friends should be a stand-up comedian? Girt. Is your mom a better driver or your dad? Oh yeah. Dad tailgates like a motherfucker. What's your least favorite genre of music? Either rap or country, idk. Do you like poems? I do. Do you enjoy drawing? I have a love-hate relationship with it. I LOVE when something comes out the way I wanted it to, but if it doesn't, I feel very disappointed in myself and bash it into my head that I could do better. Do you even have any drawing talent? So I'm told. Have you ever seen The Sound of Music? Yes, in elementary school's music class. Ever seen Beetlejuice? If so, did you enjoy it? Oh yes, that was one of Jason's favorites. I liked it. How do you deal with oppressive heat? Complain, sweat my ass off, do anything I can to cool off that doesn't involve taking clothes off. What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember pretty much anything whatsoever. What about something they definitely can count on you for? An ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. How do you feel about your handwriting? I like it. Is there a store that bothers you immensely for some reason (people who shop there irritate you or the employees who work there are rude, etc.)? Uhhhh I don't think so. What’s something you complain about frequently? If I'm hot, or my legs hurting. If you’re home alone and someone knocks on the door, what do you do? Ignore it. I'm not answering. What’s one book that you have read that will stick with you forever? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo. It's an anti-war pacifism novel, which is something I'm very much passionate about. Would you ever get one of those old school “mom” tattoos with the heart? No. I know with certainty I want a tribute to my mom when she passes, but definitely not that design. Are you a Giants fan? I don't care for sports, but the NYG always make me think of Jason's dad, who is like, obsessed with them. So I guess I feel a bit of warmness towards them just for memory's sake. Last time you went pumpkin picking? Never. Do you prefer eating corn straight off the cob or corn already taken off the cob? I think corn on the cob tastes better with all the butter and spices you can put on it, but I do enjoy off the cob too because it's just so much cleaner. Would you want your family to go on Wife Swap? Well, I live with my mom and she's divorced, so... I don't have to worry about this. How old is your current e-mail address? God, I've had it since I was a kid. Last time you conversed with someone in a language other than English? Not since taking a test for German in high school. Last video you favorited on YouTube? Oh my god, it was this video from my favorite reptile channel (Snake Discovery) of them taking their pet tegu to the park. She clearly had SO much fun. Now mind you I very rarely favorite things, so yeah, I adored the video. Do you like chocolate with coconut filling? Noooo, I'm not a coconut fan at all. What was the first thing you ate today? Mom made bacon, yuuuuum. Do you know how to play Mahjong? No. Mom loves it, though. Do you have any skirts longer than knee-length? I don't own any skirts. What’s the farthest you’ve gone with someone you weren’t dating? Just flirting. Ever had a promise ring? No. What about one of those “I’ll wait until marriage” rings (I think they’re called purity rings or something)? They're called abstinence rings, and yes, in HS. Funny how looking back I was definitely breaking that vow while I wore it lmao. What is the shortest time you’ve heard of people being together before getting married? My late grandma and her second husband got married SO fast. Like they were together for probably a couple months (maybe less?), then boom, the news came that they were engaged. Are any of your friends currently pregnant? Facebook friends, yes, which are mostly composed of old friends and acquaintances from school. One poor girl very recently got into a bad wreck, but thank goodness she and her unborn daughter are okay. Have you ever played golf? I loved playing putt-putt when I was younger, and then Jason and I once had a mini-golf date. It was really cute. When was the last time you waxed anything on your body, if ever? It's been some years since I used to wax my eyebrows. Have you ever been in a car accident? Yes. A minor one, but still. Can you honestly say you love the last person you kissed? Yep. Are you smiling in your Facebook profile picture? Yeah. Would you ever go on Fear Factor? Noooo. I would NEVER get past day #2 where they tend to do the disgusting shit, and I'm way too out of shape to do the wild stuff they do. What colour was the last mask you wore? Blue. Can any of your friends sing well? Which one has the nicest singing voice? Oh yes, Sara has an absolutely beautiful voice. When was the last time you had a nightmare? I had two last night, actually. I have this habit of taking my APAP mask off in the middle of the night because it's a nuisance, and I never remember doing so. When I do that, I'm much more prone to have nightmares because the mask helps my sleep apnea, which causes my nightmares/terrors. Where do you see yourself in ten years? I do NOT want to imagine this. It's either going to be beautiful or a fucking catastrophe, of that I'm sure. Does your family have traditions? Just pretty ordinary holiday ones. Have you ever met anyone half-way famous? Tez is famous, as far as I'm concerned. :') I also have some musician friends trying to make it, but idk how far they've actually gotten in the industry. Is there a celebrity that you are related to? No, just ancestors. Would you call your last relationship a mistake? Definitely not. Would you ever take up a job in photography? Ugh... that's the fucking dream. But I'm massively losing hope. Do you throw out your assignments once you’ve gotten them back? When I was in school, it depended on whether it would serve as good study material or not. Who was the last person you messaged on Facebook? My old friend Jenna messaged me a few days back just to say she was thinking about me and wished me well, which I really appreciated. Of course I messaged her back wishing her the same and all. Have you ever developed a crush on someone the first day you met them? Don't believe so, no. Do you have any friends who never shut up about their boyfriend/girlfriend? Well, I used to. She vanished. Have you ever showered with a member of the opposite sex? No. Don't want to. I want to be alone when I shower.

[jyndor]

so I was talking to my friend @timelordthirteen about some shit and I decided to just share with you all about the importance of actually explaining shit instead of just saying it. the Left, I am looking at you bitch (ily bitch but)

lol would put a read more but tumblr's being a petty little bitch today ❤

shitposting is fun. dunking on asshat right wingers is fun. you know what is not fun? seeing people not understand the basic terminology that we use in the ~discourse*

but. if we are going to use terminology, if we are going to inject regular old laypeople conversations with (imo) unneccessary amounts of academic terms, then we should try to use them correctly** because in many cases misusing them means we as leftists do not have a full understanding of what the fuck we're on about. this dilutes both the meanings of these terms and their purposes. I know I am wordy as fuck and can be hard to understand sometimes (thanks adhd) so what I am about to say is a little ironic, but clarity is fucking important when it comes to strategy and organizing.

so I am going to examine some commonly misused concepts and terms today. yay.

1. THEORY, PRAXIS AND FRAMEWORKS FOR ANALYSIS weeee yes I am fun at parties tyvm

what is a framework? a structure, in this case, for analyzing some bullshit we deal with irl. that's it lol but I use it a lot so I figured I'd define it here. examples of frameworks are: intersectionality, marxism, queer theory. seriously, if you can think it, it has already been analyzed through the queer lens.

what is theory? ideas, knowledge in the abstract based on looking at shit happen and analyzing that shit. it is useful because it can help us articulate what we are going through in our shitty lives. this is why I often recommend people learn about chomsky's manufacturing consent (theory of why we get the info we get from the media tl;dr), not because I think chomsky is the ultimate leftist grandpa but because this site needs some media literacy lmao. and btw, this clip narrated by amy goodman is a great, trippy little 4:30 min long video that explains the basics of manufacturing consent so you don't have to open a book or use drugs!

theory can help serve as a framework to understand what the fuck is happening to us irl, but imo is kind of an incomplete understanding of shit without lived experience (aka - theory v praxis). this is one reason why we should listen to marginalized groups on their own shit and not talk over them - because all of the research and theory in the world does not make me a Black woman living in Flint (aka - ground up organizing v technocracy). it is not about being nice, or politically correct, although we should be nice and we should care about people just because they're people. if you understand the why of listening to marginalized groups, you understand that it is mainly about communities knowing their own problems best and therefore having the best solutions for those problems.

2. MARXISM, CAPITALISM AND OTHER BUZZWORDS (and leftists need hobbies)

so marxism is a framework for socioeconomic analysis observed by mr kpop himself, karl marx (and his sugar daddy friedrich engels). because leftists love to argue, there are so many kinds of marxism, and if you ever feel like you are shouting into the void too much, just look up some arguments between stalinists and trotskyists. it's just... magical. no, I am not defining tankie here.

as many people smarter than I am have said (read: kwame ture seriously watch this video it's iconic), karl marx did not discover socialism or invent it or whatever, he observed capitalism and saw how shitty it is, like any other sane person would do. the point of marxism is not karl marx (which he would say) or tankies or fuckin guillotines***

things that marxism is:

- an analytical tool for looking at the world

- a theory which was used to develop the basis of different kinds of post-capitalist economic systems like communism and socialism

things that marxism is not:

- a system of economics or government lmao marx did not govern dick

- scary

marx looked at capitalism and said "this is definitely gonna fail someday because it's clearly unsustainable, I mean the proletariat is bigger than the bourgeoisie who owns everything uh yeah so I can do basic fucking math. if I have one capitalist and fifteen hundred workers, eventually that capitalist is gonna lose his damn head because he is gonna hoard all that wealth and his workers are gonna get pissed that they don't have their basic fucking needs met. lmao now put on some kpop, freddy" or something. idk that might not be a direct quote.

what is capitalism? (besides horseshit) a system of economics where industry is privately owned. and yes, this includes publically traded corporations because they are still owned by individuals (shareholders) even if they aren't privately owned by one person or a group of partners. truly a nightmare to live in, and we hate to see it.

what is the proletariat? well, the working class. and the bourgeoisie is the owner class, the capitalist class. the rich.

and this is something else that we need to discuss, tumblr. if you are going to say "eat the rich" please understand who you are talking about. we're not talking about random actors or musicians, or doctors or lawyers, even if they make better than a liveable wage. even if they often have zero class consciousness, meaning they don't ~see class, like colorblind racism for classism.

anyone who has to sell their labor for wages and is not part of the owner class is working class. this includes people who cannot work for any multitude of reasons (disability, can't find work, caretaker, etc) and also white collar workers who might be well off in relatively high paying jobs because they don't own the means of production, or capital that is used to produce shit. so yes, that rich actor who is a part of a union is actually part of the working class in marxist theory. when we say eat the rich, we mean jeff bezos, not john boyega. jeff bezos owns the means of production. john boyega is a working actor who is in a union.

this is important not because we shouldn't get pissed off when actors and celebrities do tone deaf shit like singing about imagining no possessions in their mansions while people starve during a pandemic. they need to put their money to good use, have some class consciousness, instead of asking fans to donate to causes that they could fund. but they are not the bourgeoisie until they start owning the means of production. and there is no doubt that many of them do, which is why we might eat gwyneth paltrow but we won't eat john boyega.

and by the way, eating the rich is metaphorical, a reference to french revolution-era philosopher jean-jacques rousseau's quote: "when the people shall have nothing more to eat, they will eat the rich." obviously I don't even need to explain it but I will anyway. basically, the people will forcibly redistribute the wealth of the rich if they have nothing else. this is why there are some very smart capitalists who are in favor of reforms and raising taxes, because they recognize the danger to their necks in not providing for basic needs of the working class. no, "eat the rich" does not mean be pro-cannibalism. but there are many capitalists who would prefer to die than lose their hoard so

oh, and one last thing. "no ethical consumption in capitalism" is tossed around a lot and it's a million percent true, but I need all of us to understand that it is not an excuse to support harmful practices but it is also not meant to shame consumers. it is rather an understanding that we as consumers are not responsible for the monstrous impact of capitalism. we live in it, we have no choice but to consume, and sometimes (most of the time) that means we have to buy shit that was produced in unethical ways. unfortunately supply chains being what they are, all consumption causes harm in some way.

it is a reminder that individual actions are not going to have the impact of collection actions. this is why plastic bag bans, though well-meaning, are not going to have the same impact on climate catastrophe as, say, banning fossil fuels would.

I am a vegetarian and I can recognize that I am doing a whole lot of nothing by not supporting factory farms, and when I was a vegan I wasn't doing much either. boycotts without mass support don't have much evidence of working. this is why bds exists - boycott divestment and sanctions. boycott, meaning don't support goods from various conpanies connected to something, divestment, meaning get companies/countries/institutions to remove their money from something, and sanctions, meaning getting countries to penalize a country for their bad behavior until they comply.

this is what the anti-apartheid south africa movement did and what palestinian rights organizers support for israeli apartheid.

do not allow legislators to put the burden of fixing the ills of society that capitalism created on consumers' shoulders.

3. INTERSECTIONALITY (because it deserves its own section)

I don't have as much to say on this as I did the last bit because holy shit capitalism, man.

intersectionality, a term that was coined by law professor kimberlé crenshaw in the late 80s to serve as a framework for people to critically assess how legal structures impact Black women differently due to class, race and gender. it is not incompatible with marxism (in fact marxism has been argued to be a form of intersectionality).

intersectionality can and should be used to examine why the Black queer experience is unique, for example. I also want to acknowledge that professor crenshaw isn't the only person to come up with intersectionality; sojourner truth spoke about it even if she didn't coin the term, for example. patricia hill collins, another influential af Black feminist academic****, created frameworks for viewing intersectionality. also you can read her book black feminist thought here for free.

intersectionality has been used - improperly - by liberal feminists***** to excuse bad behavior from leaders who pretend to care about women while creating and enforcing legislation that harms women. anyone who stans politicians at all needs help. it has also been misrepresented as essentialism, which it is also not (essentialism is the idea that everything has some assets that are necessary to its identity) because intersectionality isn't saying that every Black queer woman has the same experience, just that Black queer women might experience similar issues because of a system that negatively views them as Black and queer and women.

intersectionality does not excuse kamala harris for prosecuting poor moms of truant kids.

okay if you guys have things to add please do because I want us to educate each other instead of always talking shit. both is good.

* I am not calling out people for not being academic enough or not speaking english or not reading enough theory because LOL I am a 2x neurodivergent college dropout who radicalized by working retail and not by hearing karl marx talk dirty to me. also, not everyone speaks english like, I am truly not shitting on people.

** I recognize that language is fluid and ever changing, and that is a good thing. But diluting terms that serve specific purposes is not ever going to be good.

*** and I don't want to dismiss intra-leftist theory discourse (🤢) because I know how annoying it is to hear bernie sanders lumped in with liz warren, or bernie sanders lumping himself in with post-capitalists lmao of course I get it. but twitter discourse is not dismantling capitalism so ANYWAY

**** actually crenshaw built on collins' work (black feminist thought) and the collins built on crenshaw' work we love to see it.

***** I should go ahead and define liberal feminism as well as rad fem and terf and shit because people use them all very very loosely, especially terf (not every transphobe is a terf but every terf is a transphobe, it's like the rectangle/square thing). but I am exhausted with this so next time.

[strawbebemilk]

50 QUESTIONS TAG 💫

tagged by @hakjeon (thank you lovely 💛)

1. What takes up too much of your time?

Daydreaming about being productive instead of being productive

2. What makes your day better?

Walking outside while listening to music

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today?

The weather is finally nice and I feel whole again

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

Howl’s Moving Castle. Like....please

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Just kinda depends on what kind of advice need to be given I think. I don’t like suck at it though

6. Do you have a mental illness?

Weird flex original writer of these questions this is weirdly personal lmao

7. Have you experienced sleep paralysis?

Not legit paralysis but if I have severe enough nightmares once I wake up I can’t move due to fear. But like, I can still physically move I just don’t

8. What musician(s) inspired you the most?

Joe Hisaishi

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I fall in love every time I see a dog or a cat enjoying life

10. What’s your dream date?

I wanna go to a dog cafe/cat cafe. Someone take me there and I’ll ignore you the whole time in favor of the animals

11. What do others notice about you?

My height. None of you understand how many times I’ve been asked if I play basketball 😔

12. What’s an annoying habit you have?

Biting the insides of my cheeks, popping gum

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Can’t talk to someone that doesn’t exist

14. How many exes do you have?

One I guess?

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Um. Which playlist? I make a new playlist like every week

16. What instruments can you play?

None rip

17. What do you have the most pictures of?

Aesthetic photos that inspire me to write lol

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Knott’s Boysenberry Festival....lol

19. What’s your zodiac?

Leo~

20. Do you relate to it?

Sometimes yes, but mostly no. I think I relate to my rising Taurus sign a lot more

21. What is happiness to you?

Cats bathing in sunbeams, seeing your dog after a long time, spending time with friends and laughing till your face and ribs hurt

22. Are you going through anything right now?

I’m a stem major so I’m always going through it

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

When I was younger my brother and I had nerf guns and one day I looked down the barrel and pulled the trigger cause I didn’t think I had cocked the gun. Anyway. My eye hurt a lot afterwards

24. What’s your favorite store?

Any stationary store

25. What’s your opinion on abortions?

I’m pro

26. Do you have a bucket list?

Nope

27. So you have a favorite album?

I have many! But Eau de VIXX, and Love Me/Love Me Not by Honne come to mind rn

28. What do you want for your birthday?

Someone to buy me dinner (not in a romantic way I just want free food)

29. What are most peoples first impressions of you?

“I wonder if that girl plays basketball?”

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

No clue actually. Probably around 24 though I’m gonna guess

31. Where do you keep your phone when you sleep?

On my bed, it’s my alarm in the morning

32. What word do you say the most?

Oh gosh. Or fuck. One of the two

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

25 maybe? But that’s pushing it

34. What’s the youngest you would date?

20

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

Basketball player. Oh I get theater major sometimes which like how dare they. I know I’m a Leo but don’t hurt me like that

36. What’s your favorite music genre?

Anything I feel like listening to? Idk I don’t really have a set genre

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

Oh I have no clue. Somewhere with free college maybe

38. What’s your current favorite song?

Symptoms by SHINee

39. How long have you had this blog?

About a year? This is a remade blog

40. What are you excited for?

In a few weeks I get to see my best friend again~

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

Listener? Idk depends on the context

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Studied for an exam

43. What do you want for Christmas?

To have a family reunion without drama. Or no reunion, either works

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

Writing and reading classes lol

45. On a scale of 1-10 how are you feeling right now?

5, I am tiiiiiired

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

Hopefully working and owning two cats and a dog

47. When did you experience your first heartbreak?

In like fourth grade when my new cat told me to eat shit and die she was so MEAN. She’s nice now though and we’re chill and I love her

48. What age do you want to get married?

Lmao. The prospect of marriage is so out there for me. If it does ever happen, after grad school

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Veterinarian

50. What do you crave right now?

A nap. Oh and free time to do stuff I wanna do

tagging @babieken, @hakyunie, @taehyoungg, @ultvisual but feel free to ignore this lol 💫

[d2myg]

50 questions tag

tagged by @rysiowate thank u darling!

1. What takes up too much of your time? my hyperfixations and constantly updating all my online accounts and personas

2. What makes your day better? when i feel like ive accomplished something in a day; also, getting to go to bed after a long day

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? i made really good tofu fried rice

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? the shire. just wanna live in a tiny hobbit house and eat and read

5. Are you good at giving advice? depends what it is about. and also, im better at getting my points across via text, so im useless at advice irl

6. Do you have any mental illness? anxiety and depression, im pretty i have some kind of executive dysfunction and maybe dependent personality disorder, but these two are just my assumptions. who knows really im broke and too anxious to go a therapist to get diagnosed lmao

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? no thank god it sounds terrifying

8. What musician inspired you the most? even though i’m not an active stan anymore i’m gonna say bts because they’re the artists i’ve stanned the longest for and grew most attached to. i think they helped me develop as a person and they’ve been there for me in tough times. but also queen, because in freddie mercury i found a queer icon and role model which is very important for me

9. Have you ever fallen in love? i thought i was in love once but looking back, maybe not

10. What’s your dream date? i think this dream date business is bullshit. as long as im with the person i like, we could be doing literally anything and id still be like yeah this is a good day. like running errands or going grocery shopping or just lying in bed.

11. What do others notice about you?

idk probably my self-deprecating humour. also i if im wearing makeup that almost always gets commented on so i guess that

12. What is an annoying habit you have? just one? lmao uhhh when im super anxious about something i just shut off and like i cant function until that thing is resolved. my brain is just like ok anxiety time lets lay in bed and cry and nap for the rest of the day. also when im not in the mood to reply to someone’s text i will literally go days without replying not bc i forgot but bc i just.. yeah

13. Do you still talk to your first love? sometimes i check up on her (on her social media) but no we havent talked for almost a year since it ended. but then, was she really my first love. idk.

14. How many exes do you have? one

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i have multiple playlists and i also follow a lot of playlists; all together there must be at least 1k

16. What instruments can you play? acoustic guitar

17. What do you have the most pictures of? travelling, i have folders of pictures since last year that i havent edited yet

18. Where would you like to go before you die? hm. everywhere i havent been yet. id really like to go to canada, also like everywhere in asia

19. What is your zodiac? scorpio

20. Do you relate to it? idk i dont really read horoscopes and idk the like scorpio personality traits or whatever

21. What is happiness to you? being content with myself and what im doing.

22. Are you going through anything right now? final assignments of the semester :)

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? getting too attached to some people. 

24. What’s your favorite store? record stores are so cool. also there’s this store in brighton that sells prints of stuff like ghibli on tshirts and tote bags. not my favourite, but i like it. i dont think i have a favourite.

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? im pro-choice. i dont think it should be a debate.

26. Do you keep a bucket list? no

27. Do you have a favorite album? sheer heart attack by queen, that shit slaps

28. What do you want for your birthday? honestly not to be shallow but some coins so i can buy myself some stuff ive been wanting to buy but didnt wanna spend money on

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? idk probably that im a bitch or that im intimidating. before i open my mouth to talk. one of my best friends told me they were scared of me when we first met.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? idk i mean no one really questions my age tbh. when i was younger people thought i was older lmao cause i seemed mature or whatever

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? usually on my bed bc i sleep with earphones

32. What word do you say the most? uuuh……. like. when i talk i say like after every 3rd words its annoying

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? 5-6 years probably

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? ½ years max

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? i dont talk about my career ambitions with anyone lmao it makes me anxious. my mom says i could do personal couching or psychotherapy or whatever.

36. What’s your favorite music genre? classic rock

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? sweden sounds really nice. hong kong or singapore also

38. What is your current favorite song? hm. the iron man 3 credits soundtrack. slaps. suffragette city by culture club also

39. How long have you had this blog for? uuh i remade very recently

40. What are you excited for? goin home for the summer. also rocketman and spiderman far from home. also!!! i might be going to the rocketman red carpet so

41. Are you a better talker or listener? listener. i dont really like talking about deep stuff

42. What is the last productive thing you did? did some uni work today. actually, did a lot of uni work today

43. What do you want for christmas? go to budapest with my mom weve been planning that

44. What class do you get the best grades in? my best subject in high school was english and in college it was probably psychology

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? idk 5/6

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

dude i dont even know what ill be doing next year after my ba course ok

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? i dont think i really had one. when i broke up w my gf, its been shit for a while and i just accepted that it wasnt gonna work so it didnt really like hurt

48. What age do you want to get married? marriage is overrated and expensive next

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a vet also but so much med school. ew.

50. What do you crave right now? to dye my hair bc im stressed insert this is fine meme

i also tag @hamkis also @crownedbabes also @funkysapphic, @milmercurios, @freddie-jupiter, @piscesyub, @cactustattoo, @tonyrights

[suhoerections]

50 questions tag

thanks @baekbuns i’m doing this instead of my assignments

1. what takes up too much of your time? um def tumblr and writing 

2. what makes your day better? my doggo and my friends 

3. what’s the best thing that happened to you today? uh well its 10am but i am getting coffee with my mum later so that’s gonna be litty titty

4. what fictional place would you like to go? Velaris i would kill a bitch to go there tbh

5. are you good at giving advice? Yeah, I think so I mean I’m the person a lot of people go to when they need advice, support or guidance

6. do you have any mental illness? Yeah,,,, PTSD and germaphobia are the only ones I’m sure of 

7. have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No but my friend has and she said a gremlin was giggling in the corner of her room and my other friend said that gumball the cat was playing piano aggressively in the corner of his room 

8. what musician inspired you the most? Ngl,,,, Ninja Sex Party inspired me greatly 

9. have you ever fallen in love? Nah but I have experienced intense crushes

10. what’s your dream date? Um an arcade date cause that’s just so cutE and i mean i’m a playful person so it would be perfect

11. what do others notice about you? They notice um that I’m a girl?? i don’t know?? maybe my glasses?? my shitty fringe?? 

12. what is the annoying habit you have? I swear too much 

13. do you still talk to your first love? lmao i don’t have one

14. how many ex’s do you have? Lemme do the maf real quick,,, 0

15. how many songs are on your playlist? Um idk i don’t listen to playlists i just like listen to albums and shit

16. what instruments can you play? Guitar, ukulele and keyboard/piano :3

17. who do you have the most pictures of? My best friend 

18. where would you like to go before you die? Japan, Italy and just overseas in general

19. what is your zodiac? Aries

20. do you relate to it? “fiery, energetic, independent and intelligent” I suppose? 

21. what is happiness to you? sleep

22. are you going through anything right now? emotionally, a lot 

23. what’s the worst decision you’ve ever made? idk there’s a lot 

24. what’s your favorite store? uh the bubble tea store

25. what’s your opinion on abortion? pro choice

26. do you keep a bucket list? yeah i spose

27. do you have a favorite album at the moment? Monsta X “we are here”

28. what do you want for your birthday? A guitar and I should be getting one :3

29. what are most people’s first impression of you? That I’m confident and loud, they also seem to think I’m funny 

30. what age do you seem according to most people? I act 5 but people always think I look about 16 

31. where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? Next to my bed 

32. what word do you say the most? fuck

33. what’s the oldest age you would date? um idk like 3 years older?

34. what’s the youngest age you would date? lmao i wouldn’t date anyone younger than me cause they’re too immature 

35. what job/career do most people say would suit you? scientist or smthn that I would not enjoy 

36. what’s your favorite music genre? indie italia 

37. if you could live in any country in the world where would it be? Ireland (the Ireland not in brexit) or Japan

38. what is your current favorite song? Peach Pit by Peach Pit

39. how long have you had this blog for? June 2018

40. what are you excited for? Term to end/exams and assignments to be over

41. are you a better talker or listener? Both, I can talk for hours and I can listen for hours

42. what is the last productive thing you did? Start my science report 

43. what do you want for christmas? I want to get a life

44. what class do you get the best grades in? Science tbh its my best subject and I’ll cry if I get anything less than an A

45. on a scale from 1-10, how are you feeling right now? Pre shit so like a 4 but that’s cause i ate dairy and my tum is upset

46. what can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Hopefully getting a PhD 

47. when did you get your first heartbreak? Bold of you to assume I have a heart 

48. at what age do you want to get married? Idk like late 20s lmao thats even if someone likes me bacK-

49. what career did you want to have as a child? Forensic Anthropologist but now I wanna be a forensic psychologist/psychiatrist 

50. what do you crave now? I crave some Gloria Jeans and cuddles from a lover but I need an s/o for that and I don’t have one so- 

I’ll tag @ninibears-erigom @thesoondongiefiles  @m0nstaex0 @loveeverydae

[manchair]

50 Question Tag

Shoutout to @tuanamino for indulging my vanity and tagging me in fun things like this! I only know like two people on here, so if you laid eyes on this post consider yourself cursed to receive endless middle school chain mail texts until you fill one of these bad boys out yourselves #makesomeinternetfriends

1) What takes too much of your time?

MCAT studying 😪

2) What makes your day better?

Ice cream. Going out with friends. Got7 comebacks! 

3) What’s the best thing that’s happened to you today?

I binge-watched the new season of Chilling Adventures of Sabrina with my sisters

4) What fictional place would you want to go to?

Idris from Cassandra Clare’s Shadowhunter books

5) Are you good at giving advice?

I like to think so. I try to dish out a good balance of logic and humor but I know I don’t always take my own advice, don’t @ me.

6) Do you have any mental illnesses?

Lol you mean besides the constant awareness of how cataclysmic the human experience is? Jk I probably have anxiety but nothing clinically diagnosed.

7) Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Luckily, my body is only problematic when I’m awake. It sounds terrifying so I hope I never do!

8) What musician has inspired you the most?

Halsey. Her albums have depicted our similar emotional development arcs and I pretty much worship the ground she walks on. Mad respect for kpop groups like BTS and GOT7 though, seeing as they have to go through so much extra shit in the Korean entertainment industry to achieve their dreams and that’s also mega inspiring.

9) Have you ever fallen in love?

“My first love was some insignificant boy when it should have been myself.”

10) What’s your dream date?

This one’s tough. Either a whole day at SixFlags or a beach trip somewhere exotic, just the two of us.

11) What do others notice about you?

My hair is pretty damn long. I was visiting family in LA once and a girl asked if it was real and that’s the most LA thing that’s probably ever happened to me

12) What is an annoying habit of yours?

Procrastination. Even I get annoyed with myself!

13) Do you still talk with your first love?

God no. The dude’s hella Mormon so he got married at 20 and is now happily appropriating Hawaiian culture. #goodriddance

14) How many ex’s do you have?

I’ve had several flings but I’ve yet to commit to anything official. High standards and what not. Zero for now, but Park Jinyoung can feel free to change that any time!

15) How many songs are on your playlist?

I’m an?? ENFP Libra?? I can’t?? Just have?? one playlist??!

16) What instrument(s) can you play?

None. I much prefer air guitar and bad singing. I did play the clarinet in 6th grade band though. Maybe learning drums would suit my personality?

17) Who do you have the most pictures of?

Friends, family, and various kpop boy memes

18) Where would you like to go before you die?

The shorter list would be where I WOULDN’T want to go. But I’d go visit any space colony. The International Space Station. All of Asia. Canada lol

19) What’s your zodiac?

Libra sun, Sagittarius moon, Capricorn rising

20) Do you relate to it?

Lmao yeah I’m def a Libra 

21) What is happiness to you?

Self-actualization. Books. Music. Dancing. Snacks. Writing. Learning. Being at peace.

22) Are you going through anything right now?

Sure, but isn’t everyone?

23) What’s the worse decision you’ve ever made?

I try to own my terrible decisions but I sorta dated a demon named Bryce in high school so there is that

24) What’s your favorite store?

I’m a sucker for Uniqlo but they don’t have one in my state *cue sobbing*

25) What’s your opinion on abortion?

I think people can be both politically pro-choice and morally pro-life. I think every woman should have the ability to make that decision for themselves.

26) Do you have a bucket list?

Not in a physical form, but yes in my head

27) Do you have a favorite album?

Halsey’s Hopeless Fountain Kingdom, Black Panther The Album, Got7′s Present: You album was def a GIFT, Kris Wu’s Antares has been in heavy rotation lately as has Bad Bunny’s X100PRE

28) What do you want for your birthday?

A medical school acceptance? To meet the love of my life? A billion dollars so I can pay off my student debt and see the world and give the rest away to struggling people? Too much??

29) What are most people’s first impression of you?

Lol that I don’t like them. I blame the RBF

30) What age do you seem according to most people?

People always think I’m like 19 because I’m always joking around and I ain’t mad bc it’s my favorite number anyway

31) Where do you keep your phone while you sleep?

On my bedside table made out of books bc I’m an intellectual

32) What word do you say the most?

“Dude.” (I’m sorry, I’m from southern California, I can’t help it)

33) What’s the oldest age you would date?

Probably 29? That’s a hard limit bc your 30′s just seem like a whole other universe to me rn

34) What’s the youngest age you would date?

Yikes. 20, but I’m much better suited for someone older than me, sorry boys 😎

35) What job/career do most people say suits you?

Writer, interestingly enough.

36) What’s your favorite music genre?

Depends on my mood! Most days it’s rap, hip hop/R&B, Spanish trap, pop, and kpop, but I still have my classical and indie throwback moments

37) If you could live in any country in the world, where would you live?

Wherever I feel the most at home. I’ll probably end up staying in the US but I definitely want to try living in Hong Kong or South Korea for a while

38) What is your current favorite song?

Wow. by Post Malone lol #guiltypleasure

39) How long have your had this blog?

Years but idk for sure and now that’s going to bug me??

40) What are you excited for?

A sky rise apartment in downtown Chicago. A Got7 concert. Financial and emotional stability lmao

41) Are you a better Talker or Listener?

Depends on the topic of conversation! If I’m invested, talker. 

42) What is the last productive thing you did?

I sent emails to set up meetings 😕 #adulting

43) What do you want for Christmas?

Whatever I don’t get for my birthday...? 😬😂

44) What class do you get the best grades in?

I can write papers in my sleep. English hands down.

45) On a scale of 1-10, how do you feel right now?

7. I have this killer sunburn and a stomach bug rn

46) What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?

Hopefully practicing as a fully licensed physician who works out and has time for hobbies on the side and is not burned out *crosses fingers*

47) When did you get your first heart break?

The first time my mom said she wished she’d never had children. #yayoversharingtime #thiswholepostisprobablyoversharingohwell

48) At what age do you want to get married?

I’m recently questioning the very institution actually! I’d refuse anything younger than 25 because the average human brain isn’t even fully developed until then and no way am I following anyone to the altar before that happens

49) What career did you want as a child?

Professional dancer, specifically prima ballerina

50) What do you crave right now?

A tuna sandwich from Porto’s Bakery back home. New Got7 or Halsey music. The ocean. 

[qzwrites]

so it occurs to me that i’ve done a lot of character building for the wilkins and stables who aren’t zach and tristan and posted like, none of it, so:

The Wilkins Girls

Tricia, mom

(all the drawings i’ve done of her are old as hell and never got scanned, sorry)

probably actually the one i’ve developed the least. to be fair to me, the whole point of most znt stories is that she is working all the time and so they have to take care of the kids. whatever plans and dreams she had basically got tanked when her husband got himself killed and left her with three kids and a baby on the way. she did manage to pay off the mortgage (and the car, which was used and therefore less impressive) with the insurance money, which was some burden off her back. not enough for zach to not start working literally as soon as he could to help her. she worked two jobs pretty much from her husband’s death to zach graduating and working full time. in main continuity she never remarries, but she might if it would offer more stability for the kids. (for instance in the prince’s plaything, her expy married a merchant who proposed to her basically because he offered to send her girls to school, which wasn’t available where they were living)

Sonja, oldest sister

She’s Fashion and popular. She does okay in school. She’s very good at getting people to do what she wants. Isn’t as into sports or athleticism as Zach or Nina but would absolutely have died to be able to afford dance lessons. She probably never mentioned this to her mom or Zach until she was in high school, because she didn’t want them to stress about the money. She is a pro at thrift shopping and redecorating on a budget, and probably more or less took over both the interior decorating and the wardrobe maintenance so they didn’t “look poor” when she was like, ten. Kind of doing an aimless middle child thing; goes to and later drops out of community college bc she doesn’t really want to study anything. Classic Bi Girl “didn’t realize other girls didn’t feel that way about girls” story but with zero angst about it. (She also blames her bad example brother bc he didn’t realize he was bi and definitely led her to False Expectations of how straight people relate to members of their own gender). Thinks she’s not into commitment but really just not into monogamy; it will take her so long to realize this.

Nina, middlest sister (i mean technically she and sonja are both middle children, but she’s the middle of the girls)

Sporty and athletic and a little tomboyish, but that does not mean she doesn’t like to occasionally Glam the Fuck Up. One of the better athletes at her school and high-key bitter when the boys’ sports teams get more attention even though they’re not as good. If she cared at all about football, is exactly the kind of person who would fight and rail about title ix to be allowed on the football team and/or coach a bunch of other girls to put together a girls’ football team. Her main sport is basketball. This is also where she meets the first and thus far only boy she dates. They do the classic sitcom arguing thing, yet people never assumed they “actually” liked each other, at least not where Nina could hear it, because jfc if there is anyone who will hold a grudge and hassle you for the rest of your life, it is Nina Wilkins. God help you if she’s angry enough to get her siblings involved. Anyway, the boy is just one of the only people who immediately gets that whatever bullshit comes out of her mouth in an argument or on the court doesn’t actually Mean anything to her. She’s competitive but not actually trying to be mean. It probably helps that literally everyone assumed she was gay bc she’s kind of butch. She has no idea how to flirt.

(once a dude tried to spread a nasty rumor about Nina and Sonja wrecked his social life so completely that he ended up transferring schools. she got literally everyone to ostracize this guy and dragged out all sorts of fucking receipts going back to grade school. Zach was like “why didn’t you tell me! I would have beat him up!” and Sonja was like “no one had to be beaten up for me to ruin his life”. Zach was like “I think Sonja might be a monster???” and Tristan was like “that’s my girl :,)

Meredith, the babiest sister

Meredith just wants to read everything in the entire world and be left alone. Her primary form of social interaction is sitting in the room reading while the rest of her family does shit. She does exceptionally well in school. When teachers start getting on her case about extracurriculars to look good for college, she starts writing book reviews for the school newspaper and volunteering at both the school and public library. Mastered very young the art of paying attention to multiple things; even if you think she wasn’t paying attention to what was going on around her, she was. She’s very opinionated (like the rest of her siblings lmao) but much quieter about it. She won’t fight you or yell or talk shit about you, she will just ignore you. It’s not even pointed. Most people don’t know if she hates them, even though she dislikes plenty of people. Fairly well-liked even though she’s not sociable, since she is quiet and thus people project whatever they want to see/hear. Probably gets into the least trouble of any of the kids. Kind of likes Tristan more than her actual siblings. Probably also queer but doesn’t talk to anyone about it. The only time I’ve ever written her into any sort of relationship is with a college guy she met at the library while she was still in high school. She’s not the youngest by so much (she and Nina have the same gap as Nina and Sonja) but she’s the only one who never knew their dad and the only one who’s naturally quiet, so she does feel a little left out sometimes. That’s probably part of why she likes Tristan so much; he’s the only other one sitting quietly and calmly at family functions.

Probably when her first scathing high school book review was published people were like “oh look! mary is a wilkins after all! she just prefers to tear apart books instead of people”

The Stables

Meredith, mother

[i don’t know if i’ve ever drawn her actually lmao]

look i’ma be real with you, I know nothing about her. She’s been ill and largely bed-ridden, or dead, in most of the stuff i’ve written. her husband left her and the boys when Rhys was still an infant, and she kind of. wasted away. she was utterly devoted to this man and he didn’t even say anything, just bounced. she has no idea why. she probably didn’t start getting really sick until Tristan was in high school. I have no idea how she provided for the boys bc she was definitely living that housewife life. she didn’t need to work bc her husband was a lawyer, and then he left. she did become good friends with Tricia Wilkins, and they kind of mutually helped each other out, first with the boys, and then in general. Meredith couldn’t drive after a while, and definitely loaned Tricia the car when her used POS broke down. She’s sweet and people liked her a lot, even when she got sick and sad and was always a drag, because she was that nice when she was well. They probably got lots of help from neighbors right after Gary left. She’s a good cook and has a nice singing voice.

Rhys, younger than Zach and Tristan but older than all the Wilkins girls

Rhys has got lots of the same abandonment and trust issues that Tristan does, but he doesn’t have a Zach to act like his emotional backbone. He’s also just not as stoic as Tristan. He gets drunk and calls Tristan to pick him up, crying, a lot in high school. Had a big crush on Sonja for most of childhood, but she was never interested. He also harbors a lot of Guilt that Tristan couldn’t like go to college or do what he wanted bc he had to take care of Rhys, even though he’s five years younger and couldn’t really control things like. capitalism. He plays guitar. He actually learned at a friend’s house in middle school and never told his family until someone gave him their old guitar and he just came home like “hey i’m going to be a musician”. he’s not actually good at any other part of music, he just likes playing guitar. He’s also bi and didn’t really think about it until after Tristan came out and he was like “wait. okay. how do YOU feel about boys”. He’s also pretty into video games. Most of Tristan’s disposable income probably went to keeping Rhys in relatively current video games. Rhys likes to make dark jokes about shit that actually bothers him, but he’s careful not to do it around Zach because Zach goes Full Dad and is like “wanna talk about your feelings, bud” and like, no, Rhys only wants to allude to the fact that he has feelings, he doesn’t really want to talk about them any more than Tristan does. Rhys doesn’t know what he’s doing with his life. He’s probably the kind of person who will feel like that no matter what he does or how long he does it.

(you may note that mrs. stable has the same name as mrs. wilkins’s youngest child. mrs. stable also would have named tristan “tricia”. these are coincidences but they joke that it means they were Meant To Be Friends.)

[justalileepguy]

🎼 Ocean Man

Haha it's funny because I lived in the ocean for a while :)

Ok but here's what I think.

First of all, the instrumentation is all right.vit sort of gets that nice beachside vibe with the focus on guitars, and the drum beat grooves like hell. The singing is also really well done for the style they were going for.

Would I have put some saxophones in? Absolutely, because everything is better with a horn section, but I'd say this song does a fine job with its standard rock instrumentation.

The guitar solo goes really hard, as does the breakdown.

I'll give it a solid 6/10, but like a good 6 out of 10. Maybe just not my style haha (my style is jazz btw. I am a professional jazz musician)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #55

whoa.  random surge in followers overnight.  uh.  hi.  i’m here to disappoint.

have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? yeah. chels and i were up two nights later than that because we couldn't sleep. the last person you spoke to, do you know their eye color? mom, they're brown. do you own a trench coat? i wish. they're cool. are you currently in a smoking environment? no, you're not allowed to smoke in my house. have you ever been afraid to call someone, even if you knew them well? i'm afraid to call anyone who isn't my mom. the last person who texted you, have you ever fought with them? yeah. i'm two seconds from fighting with her right now because she knows exactly how to be an ignorant bitch. are you scared of anything irrational?  is pregnancy an irrational fear? how about whale sharks? can you do a cartwheel?  nope. never have been able to. do you watch the super bowl just for the commercials? i don't watch the super bowl period. the only time i ever did was on my 16th birthday because i was at jason's house and the giants were playing, his dad's favorite team, and the whole family was over. first time i kissed jason on the cheek was when they won. how often is it that you make a post on any sort of social media, and then delete it soon after? why? i've actually never done that. have your ideas and expectations about adulthood changed as you’ve gotten older? of course. i didn't believe it would have anything to do with being a crumbling piece of shit. i thought i would be fearless, responsible, and just overall prepared. have you ever taken time off to focus on your mental health? are you the type of person that is able to take a break or are you more likely to bury yourself in responsibility? i mean i guess i have, since i've committed myself to a mental hospital more than once? and i really do a mix of both... just depends. do you have a different group of friends on a site besides this one?  i have no tumblr friends, i have one rp bd, i have a number on deviantart... if you are or were in college, when you share your major with people how do they usually react? if you are not in college, how do you explain your job situation to others and what is their reaction? it's usually an "oh, that's cool." nothing cool. when you watch competition shows, do you feel an automatic support for a competitor who’s from your state or region? i mean, mildly i guess. do you think it is possible that eventually humans will create enough technology to completely or nearly completely automate work and free up people to a new experience of social relations without “jobs” as we know them today?  one day, sure. do you enjoy taking selfies and do you enjoy looking at other people’s selfies? if i feel i look pretty, sure. and yeah, bc i feel happy that they took a picture of themselves that makes them feel gorgeous. are there any songs that you enjoy, but the lyrics are problematic/downright offensive? what about films with shady directors or plot points? how do you negotiate liking art or artists that represent offensive ideas or that have problematic politics? the song that immediately comes to mind is "bitches" by hollywood undead. i DO NOT know why i like it, but i do. as far as liking artists go, it doesn't affect whether or not i'll enjoy them. it's just expression, the way i see it. what is your opinion of protest marches? what about different tactics taken by activists such as boycotts, shutting down highways, sit-ins, and even blockades of trade ships? what do you think is the best method to actually enact change? i have no problem with protests, but i'm more iffy when it interferes daily activities, like if you do shut down a highway. i think the best way to enact change is by exposing a person to the issue, but sometimes that isn't enough, anyway. do you believe in parallel universes or infinite possibilities or do you tend to believe that what we see and know now is pretty much it? no, i don't believe in parallel universes. what if you died in your sleep tonight? maybe it'd be a good thing, honestly. have you ever done something you told yourself you wouldn’t do? more than once. are there things in your life that you’ll never be able to get over? i'm certain. name one person you wish you could fix things with? jason, period. when was the last time you completely broke down? not even an hour ago. colleen pissed me off beyond belief. have you ever turned to smoking or drinking to solve a problem? i mean, i've drunk to forget about them for a while, but not to solve them. what are you listening to right now? sleeping with sirens' cover of "iris" has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? not pretty enough to keep him around. what do you think of therapists? i've seen no less than ten, and for the most part, they want money and to shove medicine down your fucking throat. would you ever go to a sperm bank to get pregnant? no. i really don't know how i feel about artificial insemination. if a little kid walked up to you and asked, “are you goth?”, how would you respond? "maybe." does it annoy you when people say their heart is “broken”?  no, because heartbreak is a very valid, serious emotion. why aren’t you talking to the last person you kissed? because he fucking hates me and i'm pretty sure i'm one word from a restraining order, survey maker. are you mad at someone right now? pretty sure i'm eternally stuck in a mad state towards jason's girlfriend ashley. because i'm a child. has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you? hm. funny. he's not here anymore. has a laptop ever burned your legs?  so bad that my stretch marks there are burned into the flesh, yes. when at a restaurant, do you put your napkin on your lap?  nope. do you want to be friends with your recent ex? if he's with anyone but me, as selfish as that sounds? no. i'd rather die. what did you hate most about your last relationship? i "hated" nothing about it. do you understand the true meaning of “loving someone so much it hurts”? hello, darkness, my old friend. i know it too well, and am experiencing it now. i have a terrible headache and feel sick to my stomach. has true love had a way of showing you that it can conquer anything? no, because it can't. sorry to crush your fairytale. did you ever play frogger when you were a kid? fuck yeah. i could only ever beat the first level tho lmao. do you love deep? too deep. can you ever see yourself and your ex back together? yes, easily. the only problem being is i'm well aware i'd have MASSIVE trust issues for a while. what's your favorite vegetable? broccoli, i guess. where would you like to be in 5 years? with a job. with someone i sincerely love. what was the experience that impacted you the most in your life? jason leaving me. it, literally, scarred me for life. would you be with someone who doesn’t have the same beliefs as you? depends on the beliefs that vary. ex., i will date someone of a different religion (depends on the religion though, really), but to be totally honest, i wouldn't date someone who was, like, pro-choice. it really depends on the belief, because your beliefs portray important, certain parts of you. what did your last relationship teach you? that literally anyone will hurt you. what do you think of online dating? i honestly don't know. i don't think it's for me personally, even tho i'm on one... do you like someone you’re interested in to pursue you or do you prefer to do the chasing? what do i prefer? both. but guess who's the only one doing the chasing in this scenario... do you think confessions make a relationship stronger? i mean it has a potential to ruin them, but at the same time, if you're with the right person, it'll only make yours stronger. would you relocate for love? for a new relationship? no. for a long-term partner? yeah. have you seen the person you love/like recently? how is he/she doing? no, and i don't fucking know. what color is your jewelry box?  oh no... sigh. my jewelry box is black with gold trimming. it's very intricate and beautiful. jason got it for me one christmas. can you solve a rubik’s cube? nope. have you ever watched porn?  no, and i don't plan on it. have you ever sleep walked? no. what would you want to be written on your tombstone? maybe "she joined the black parade"??? lol i saw it on pinterest once and loved it. would love to incorporate my taste of music on my tombstone. mom wants "my body lies, but still i roam" from "wherever i may roam" by metallica on hers. do you like carrots? noooo. have you ever worn lingerie?  no. what is your favorite profanity? "fuck," because there's usually so much emotion behind the word. have you ever masturbated?  no, the idea's just... really gross. i don't care how clean i am. would you rather be hated or forgotten? i know what it's like to be forgotten. i'd rather be hated. spit or swallow?  ... i'm going to just go along with this and let my mind be dirty like you want it to, and say it's not going in my mouth to begin with, sorry. what was your first rated r movie? "scary movie," i think. who was your favorite musician as a kid? do you still like them now?  i think my first true favorite band was green day, and yes, i still love them. have you ever gotten ‘bullied’ over social media? was it anonymous or not?  not via social media, but rather on a forum. it was not anonymous. if you could get a piercing anywhere, and not have to worry about it healing, where would you get one?  my favorite piercing overall is a labret lip piercing, so i guess that. i'd get my back dermals pierced if i didn't have to worry about the possibility of them ripping out. if you could only have one type of sex for the rest of your life, would you choose anal, vaginal, or oral?  anal grosses me out, oral grosses me out, so vaginal. who or what do you love unconditionally?  jason, my mom... what is something you have done that you’re proud of?  many small things, really. what’s your blood type? a what was the last thing you giffed?  i've never managed to make a proper gif when you go out to breakfast, what do you order? pancakes, eggs, bacon or sausage is there a phrase or mantra you repeat when you are frightened? in some cases, i tend to whisper, "i can do all things through christ who strengthens me." have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? no. what’s your favorite pet name someone calls you? "love." it's so sincere and sweet. would you give mouth to mouth to your dog to save its life? duh. have you ever had a pet destroy something valuable or important? yup. ever had a feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right? i knew jason was leaving me like a week before it happened. kept asking him if he was going to leave me, he kept saying no. fucking liar. what do you check out first when you check someone out? i don't really check people out. it's lustful. i mean i may see someone i think is attractive, but my eyes don't linger. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? no, honestly. i'm not a baby. i'm a woman. do you like the idea of promise rings in relationships? if you're not tight on money, i guess i do. it shows you're serious. but like i just mentioned, if you're not very blessed financially, just stick with the engagement and wedding rings. can anyone in your immediate family play the guitar? no. why were you last frustrated? now. my best friend is ridiculously close-minded. how much have you changed in the last year or so? i've only gotten more and more depressed. do you have a favorite name? what is it? yeah, alessandra. what was your favorite disney movie as a kid? is it still your favorite? the lion king, and i think so. or finding nemo. when did you first start using the internet often? idk what age, but i know it was when i got into neopets. have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? yes, actually. have you ever been called vain? do you agree with them? no. do you believe prayer really works? you know, i don't really know. don't get me wrong, i'm a christian, but i have prayed enough, and it hasn't done jackshit. ever dated someone you were best friends with first?  i'm not sure i would've called him my "best" friend, no. last person to take off your pants, besides you? jason. think back to the last person you kissed, how many times have you laughed with them? too. many. times. what’s something you really want right now, be honest?  i want jason, honest to god. who was the last person to yell at you? colleen, i think. what motivates you to go to school? i really shouldn't answer this right now... have you ever felt like you were going out of your mind? already far out of it. does your animal sleep with you? no, mom doesn't let him, because he's old and has accidents. do you own a robe? no. i found a bat one on pinterest tho that i really want. do you bathe your pets regularly? not as often as i should, to be fair. i try to give him a bath once a month. do you own any Batman movies? no, despite really liking the dark knight and the dark knight rises. i'll never be able to own them, because jason loooves batman. thus, ptsd trigger. do you believe vampires are real? no. are you someone who has to hide the things you like around friends? i... honestly do. this didn't start up until jason left, and after thinking through it, i realized i do this because by him leaving, a part of me feels like all my interests were like, de-validated or something, like it made them so they were "wrong" and "unlikable?" i mean i even do this to my best friend. she doesn't know half the shit i enjoy. do you remember when they used to actually throw candy out at parades? you mean they don't do that anymore?! when was the last time you babysat, if ever? did anything bad happen? YEARS ago for my neighbor. nothing bad happened, but she did run around naked when i was changing her diaper lmao. do you ever talk to people you met online through webcam? or is that weird? NONONOONOONO TOO SHY how many people have you kissed in your lifetime so far? who were they? romantically, i've only ever kissed jason. do you know anyone named alyssa? if so, elaborate. yes. old forum rp partner. still a decent friend. she's probably markiplier's biggest fan and even has a warfstache tattoo. i worry about her occasionally, though, from some of her facebook posts. would you ever take a pole dancing class? hmmm. i wouldn't rule it out completely, because i really appreciate dancing, but realistically, no, i don't think i would. especially at my weight. when is the last time you pulled an "all nighter" (where you stay awake the entire night to the next day)? what was the reason you did so, and was it worth it? the last time i stayed up purely all night was when "world of warcraft: legion" released, so that was uh, september i think? to be totally honest, i did it mostly out of nostalgia; when "wow: warlords of draenor" released, back when jason and i were still together, we stayed up all night for that, too. i mean, i guess it was worth it. that game was once very important to me. what is one life experience most people around you seem to have had that you haven't (marriage, kids, work-related, etc)? conversely, what is one life experience you've had that most people around you haven't? at my age, definitely sex. people are so surprised when i reveal my virginity. one life experience i've had that most haven't is just living with a mental illness. do you give pets or animals silly nicknames? what's the funniest or most embarrassing nickname you've given an animal? i'll call teddy a variety of things... "teddy-boo," "my boo," etc. name something you consider to be completely unforgivable, no matter what the circumstances. why is it so egregious to you? what should happen to someone who does it? rape. there is literally no reason to do it, that's why it pisses me off so much, and it's beyond degrading to the victim. honestly? i almost support the death penalty when it comes to rape. if you were exiled, what country would you choose as your new home? canada or germany, i guess. i'd prefer germany, but if i really wanna be in an english-speaking land, then canada. what's the last time that you were really happy? what were you doing? who were you with? what made that time so special? i would say when i was drunk a few days back, but i dunno if you'd consider that true happiness. are you self conscious about wearing a bathing suit? yeah. i'm not skinny, so. who were the last people you saw besides from family? chelsea do you only wish the best for your ex? you want the honest truth? i don't know what i wish for him if i'm not going to be with him. i guess if i really thought about it, i don't, considering i don't want him to marry or have kids with anyone but me. all other things though, i mean yes, i wish him the world. do you think that once people get married, they eventually fall “out of love?” no! have you ever been called a tease? teehee. when was the last time you laughed so hard you thought you were going to cry? new year's when chelsea showed me this video meme related to jimmy neutron. i was tipsy though and normally wouldn't have laughed that hard. have you ever been stalked? no. which band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? hmm. otep, i guess. the last person you kissed, were they a good kisser? he's italian, baby. do you throw things when you’re angry? no. do you hit things when you’re angry?  i've punched my headrest before. are you missing school yet?   literally the only thing i miss about it is jason. your ex calls wanting to hang out. what do you say?   ever seen a woman fangirl?  because that's what you'd see.  anyway, i'd try to be really calm and say, "of course!" would you get back with your last ex if they asked you?   fucking YES, if he apologized to me for all that happened and i believed he truly meant it. do you want someone dead?   ... yeah. are you the one that normally makes the first move?   with my history, i guess i kinda am. when was the last time you sang along with a song? which one was it?   i believe it was earlier today when i played "this is gospel" by p!atd what’s your favorite type of cake?   red velvet where did your first kiss take place?   jason's bed can you go see a doctor alone or do you like to take someone with you?   my mom comes with me how long is your average shower?   like eight minutes do you like pineapple on pizza?   no. do you want a tattoo?   i have a pinterest board of about 100 ideas i'm highly considering, lmao. what posters do you have in your room?   in my current room, i only have one; it has a unicorn seeing a therapist that's saying "you need to believe in yourself." my old/real room, i have uhh... metallica, marilyn manson, various silent hill, illidan, and other posters. what was your elementary school’s mascot?   bulldog what was the last job you applied for?   i don't know.  i did a mass application months ago. do you use your turn signals when you’re driving?   of course. how tall is the last person you kissed?   5'9'', i think. are you wasting your time on the person you like?   i'm sure i am. have you ever watched a movie in another language?   not a full movie, no. are you afraid to answer sexual questions?   not really. what is your favorite type of cat?   ummm i love persians, sphynxes, and fuck i'm forgetting one... do women breastfeeding in public make you feel uncomfortable? why or why not?   no, and honest to god, fuck you if you've got a problem with it.  GUESS WHAT BOOBS ARE FOR???  FEEDING HER OFFSPRING!  sorry to sound so volatile, but holy fuck i'm passionate about this. name one of your ex’s mother’s names?   virginia.  i miss her.  a lot. have you ever been prescribed narcotics?   xanax, yes.  i'm going to talk to my doctor about putting me back on it, because it actually fucking worked.  i was taken off of it because it was a narcotic. have you ever had a concussion?   yeah.  i passed out in my shower and banged my chin against the floor, leaving a deep gash. is there an animal that you’re afraid of?   WHALE SHARKS, maggots, some spiders. what is your favorite eeveelution (evolution of the pokemon eevee)?   OHHHH GOD DON'T EVEN.  lmao honestly i'm tied between espeon and umbreon, i really love them both, but i guess if it was like choose or die, i really like espeon.  she's so majestic.  out of the original three, i like vaporeon the most. which part of your state/province do you live in[upper,lower,middle]?   eastern, like two hours from the beach. do you chew on your hair?   ew, no. do you eat more home cooked meals or more ‘quick n easy’ type of foods?   quick 'n easy, i guess.  like mom will usually buy pre-packaged hot dogs, chicken nuggets, ground beef for hamburgers, etc. do you eat even when you’re not hungry?   i wouldn't be overweight otherwise.  in my defense, it's because of my depression.  i feel so fucking empty and i confuse it with hunger. do you go insane without music?   i mean, not really.  don't get me wrong, i love music, but i don't go insane if i'm not listening to it for a while. is there an upcoming concert you want to go to?   carolina rebellion, yes.  cr is where TONS of rock and metal bands play at the same concert over the course of a few days.  korn's coming to this one, who i'm really keen on seeing. is technology outsmarting humans?   in some ways, certainly. how often do you use mouthwash?   like never, but i wish we had some. what is your favorite musical?   i don't like musicals, honestly. do you like the smell of burning leaves?   noooo. do you tend to laugh when people get hurt, even when it’s serious?   if i think it was serious, i never laugh, i honestly gasp and panic, but if you just like, trip, i admit, i'll laugh if i know you, but i'll still ask if you're okay. are you procrastinating something right now?   kinda. have you tried those new banana creme oreos?   no, sounds gross.  i usually hate banana-flavored stuff. when was the last time you went out of state?   last summer for ashley and nick's wedding.  we drove just barely into virginia.