#//reflectin on the shit

[fllthyfrank]

still around, just maybe not here. this is the first fandom i've been in where it ended before my love for it did. if that makes sense.

had an incredible time here, good enough that i still think about it daily.

it was the best time, truly.

[blvckentropy]

WARNING LONG RANT!

Okay so I've been sitting on Drake so called "diss track" and I still declare it as the biggest CONTRADICTING ASS track ever. Like I get die hard Drake fans gone be like he won regardless but he hasn't because he made several deep holes in his argument. Granted you probably don't give a damn and that's fine. Overall, neither do I but some of you got so blinded and hyped by his one-liners and his flow that you ain't peep what he really said did you? Ngl, had me sitting here like a was crazy for a minute. Now correct me if I'm wrong cause I also had to fact check myself, but these are the lines that got me like now wait wait....

You said, "The ones that you're gettin' your stories from, they all clowns" just to say "We plotted for a week and then we fed you the information".... which one is it? Are you calling yourself a clown or the ppl you sent the info. to? I'm perplexed.

"What about the bones we dug up in that excavation? And why isn't Whitney denyin' all of the allegations? Why is she following Dave Free and not Mr. Morale? You haven't seen the kids in six months, the distance is wild Dave leaving heart emojis underneath pics of the child"

First and for most, what is your obsession with this woman? Also are we in high school? Why we worried about someone follow count and/or who following who? She a grown ass woman like she can't have male friends. Plus, if irl she with Kendrick every day, why does she need to? And if Kendrick aint worried about, why are you? You caught up in finding out if that's her real bd but where are your evidence? If Kendrick has to, you do too. Childish.

BUT THIS IS WHERE IT GOT DISRESPECTFUL!

"This Epstein angle was the shit I expected TikTok videos you collected and dissected Instead of being on some diss-direct shit You rather fucking grab your pen and misdirect shit My mom came over today and I was like, "Mother, I—, mother, I—, mother—" Ah, wait a second, that's that one record where you say you got molested"

"This about to get so depressin' This is trauma from your own confessions This when your father leave you home alone with no protection, so neglected That's why these pedophile raps and shit you so obsessed with, it's so excessive"

"Touch My Body" by Mariah Carey play, you probably start reflectin"

This whole verse was a misinterpretation of Kendrick's song "Mother I Sober" which I had to educate myself with. Long story short, the song is about his mom SA and how she thought he was by his cousin even when he told her "no" and it forms a bigger picture to his overall family trauma as a whole and so on. So not only did you Mr. " You gotta learn to fact check things and be less impatient" if that ain't the biggest pot calling the kettle black idk what is. You got it wrong (Kendrick pretty much explained it) then double down on borderline prob over the line atp disrespecting his mother and all and every victim of SA? We victim shaming now?

I never been with no one underage, but now I understand why this the angle that you really mess with Just for clarity, I feel disgusted, I'm too respected If I was fucking young girls, I promise I'd have been arrested I'm way too famous for this shit you just suggested

*Slow claps* Congratulations you played yourself. What in the fuckery? CURRENTLY....DIDDY DOODLE BOB HAS ALLEGATIONS RIGHT NOW AND HE'S MORE FAMOUS THAN U. And don't get me started on the list....umm...you literally just named one (If you still bumping R. Kelly, you could thank the Savior)

"Only fuckin' with Whitneys, not Millie Bobby Browns, I'd never look twice at no teenager" but you'll look once? Also, someone que up the video with him on stage w/ a 17-year-old. He and I quote "Why you look like that?" "You thick. look at all this" Then kiss her all over her face🤔 Sir a kiss on the cheek or forehead would suffice but I digress.

And correct me if I'm wrong, I believe the only reason Kendrick hasn't even the touch the "beating allegations" is because he covers all that in both Mr. Morale and Mother I sober? If I'm correct, then you basically didn't tell us nothing that hasn't been said on him. Plus you also not fact checking. Where's of your proof? I would think someone with the upper hand would have laid down evidence that you mastermind...oh wait...was Kendrick right along? Now you look like the goofy on defense. Like do Kendrick even have to say anything?

Bruh, but the funniest part on it all. You acting like YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS. YOU DROP A DISS first wanting him to response and now you trying to make it seem like you didn't? My guy, if your actions alone here isn't a manipulation master class. Chileeeeee

[justsome30yearoldguy]

goin to the dentist today got me reflectin. i fuckin hate the dentist. but tbh havin a couple younger women touchin me. stickin their fingers in my mouth and shit. its not sexual. but its a different feelin. u know the dudes who go to places n flirt with the female workers? cuz they have to have customer service. be nice and shit. i would never do that. but i get it. women always treated me like shit. niceness from women at their work is a weird feelin for me. i know its fake. im not used to it is what im sayin i guess? not used to bein touched. also i guess.

[eldrytchcryptid]

God yeah I recently went through it like damn I'm really an asshole like other men what what am I doing

HOWEVER I have done a lot of reflectin so here's my romanticising

I feel masculinity for me is sitting and making shit from scratch or trying to mend shit even with no experience or figure out machinations

Or getting so excited about a subject I talk to strangers about it or discuss fukin trains or science or some shi

Or just up and go right I need to be as far away from civilisation as possible it's time to hunt for mushrooms

Or being like "u got an issue with someone I'll fuckin sort it for you" or "yes I will order this" or "carry these chairs 4 at a time solely because efficiency it doesn't matter if my fingers hurt cause I feel like a MAN"

Or opening doors and letting others go first and complimenting others (non-sexually) cause it subverts the masculine stereotype

Being an annoying but fun older brother!! Throwing my small child relatives onto the couch and hauling them over my shoulder cause they're giggling so hard at my goofiness

I feel like stroking my chin or (wispy) beard needs an honourable mention

And one day I will be able to take a girl out on dates and shi and fukn love making women laugh have you heard them laugh even if it's cause you're being stoopid it's just 👌👌

Being a dude is good shit if you are conscious about being an asshole ig

Apologises for my long essay into a subject I have reflected upon 😅

OH I remembered another one where I was helpin my mum shop for dresses cause she was stressed about it and I was like carryin all the stuff she wanted to try and was like hypin her up when she tried them on and she was super thankful that was good masculinity too 😁😁

I feel like transmasc ppl need to romanticise masculinity more like the way transfems romanticise femininity

Like I’ve noticed a lot of transmasc and ftm positivity/solidarity is kind of rooted in self hatred which is really disheartening and ik a lot of us kind of go through a guilt phase bc of the “joining the enemy” mentality and like… we could do with a makeover my dudes, I think we deserve one

[o-scrivello]

orin, hey hey hey whats going on?

Reflectin' a bit. Realisin' quite quickly I miss the thrill of all the violence 'nd shit.

[simiansmoke]

He's a bit tired, but that plus the few drinks he's had doesn't stop him from vibing out on the bar's balcony. No one's out tonight because of the drizzle, but that doesn't stop him from lighting up and blowing smoke out into the dark towards the harsher sound of the waterfall in the distance.

Licking the smoke flavor out of his teeth, he considered the distance from him to the river and its roar, and just how much the current rain fall would cause it to swell the banks.

Humming, he made sure he was still alone before musing to himself with gravelly rendition. "-when the storms don't seem to end... I'll be there to pull you in." Taking another drag, he puffs the smoke out and watches it get shredded through with the rain bullets. "When you're reaching out...I'll never let you drown-"

[angstfactory]

The sheer absurdity of whatever that man just said, brought Jesse out of that confrontational instinct as he stared at him with an expression that quite obviously should be read as: what the fuck? "What in the hell do you even mean by that?" he had to ask, head cocked to the side like an affronted dog, as his brows furrowed together in confusion. "How the fuck do those two scenarios relate to each other? Why would someone who drives 'round with shit that ain't necessarily common or regulation, be the same person that'll ask for a manager?" Seriously, the mental gymnastics of that statement completely sidetracked him a moment. "One is gonna tell on the other, not be the same person." And obviously, if either one of them were going to be anyone in that scenario... Jesse was the first, and this idiot here was the tattletale. Clearly?!

After a moment, he seemed able to get beyond that. "That sounds like a 'you' problem, man." Jesse only shook his head. "You needa work on mindin' your own business — it works wonders in not givin' a fuck what anyone else is doin'." He spoke out of experience, of course. Did people annoy him regardless? Sure, plenty. But the point was, if the guy kept to himself, none of this encounter would even be happening.

Despite the other coming in closer, Jesse stayed as he was, sitting on the edge of the tailgate with the two wieners roasting over the drum fire. "That's cool," he only nodded about the other's philosophy to the type of man — nay, loser — he was, before looking him dead in the eyes, "I mean, ya really laid it all out there for me... I'm gonna come away from our chat as a new man that's definitely gonna pause n' do some serious self-reflectin' 'cause... I care deeply what ya think of me." This was said straight, almost even with a believable sense of earnestness, yet it was clear these words were meant to mock the other man's attempt to shame him. Jesse thought this concept of some code was ridiculous. All that did was give this guy some false sense of security that he was better than Jesse. Whatever helped him to sleep better at night.

"Oof, right in the heart," Jesse said, idly gripping a hand into his chest as if the man's shoot down about his looks truly wounded him. "I guess my ma lied 'bout me bein' the most handsomest boy in all the land." At this point, he was having more fun annoying this prick than anything else. The guy made it so damn easy, too. Hell, Jesse would even say this person was itching for more problems than even he did. "Well Jack," he said in a softer tone, as he turned the wieners over so they didn't burn, "I ain't movin', so I guess you're gonna have to ruin the movie for both of us." Though, if he was being honest, he didn't actually want to ruin his own night with this stupid bullshit, either. A fight here ran the risk of getting them both banned from the place, and that would piss him off to no end. Jesse could be sensible, sometimes. "Or," he propositioned then, reaching over to dig inside the ice chest and pull out one of the chilled glass bottles of Budweiser, "you can just take this n' we'll call it even." Jesse held the bottle out to him.

"You drive around with a grill and a bag of wieners in the back of your pick up but I'm the one who looks like I ask to speak to the manager? That feels kind of anti blonde but we can explore that at another time. And what's it to me? I don't know man, I'm sitting here, enjoying myself with this nice view that I got because I was here early and along comes you to make your presence known, not just by your truck, no cause that's not enough, you gotta have a grill going just to make sure everyone really knows you're here. It's fucking annoying is what it is, and I am not a great fan of being annoyed." Maybe if he was drunk he would've just thrown a punch and not thought about it but he wasn't really trying to fight this guy, he just wanted him to either move away or leave completely. The latter would've been ideal but he wasn't the drive in police, he just wanted to be at peace.

Shawn let out a laugh and ran his fingers through his hair, not at all surprised that the guy just kept going on. "You're right, my mom didn't teach me shit, never met her. And I am a loser, have been all my life. But even losers like me have a code, you're the worst kind of loser. The kind of loser who's an asshole just cause he can be. That has nothing to do with parents, that's all you." He took a step closer, this time rolling his eyes the more the other spoke. "Please, don't flatter yourself. I've seen the dudes around here and I can guarantee you that you don't even make the list. Look, I don't give a shit about your barbecue but you need to move. I was in this spot with a clear view, you almost took off my bumper and honestly, I'm two seconds away from ruining this film for both of us. So why don't we save a fight and you move out of the fucking way." He knew that it was unlikely to end there but he didn't care anymore, if they were gonna fight they were gonna fight.

[kuunibal]

yea... I do love my boyfie a lot sjdhdjfj. but anyways, I'll explain emo boy first as its kind of easier. while most of my playlists I was more driven compelled within to let my emotions out, this havin a clearer understandin of what I wanted to convey, emo boy was born out of my darlin explicitly tellin me he wanted a playlist as a gift. I am actually very bad and I do not remember if it was for his birthday or one of the earlier month anniversaries... whoops. so rather than already have emotions pourin out, I had to search within and find them, and to me the playlist is more like splattin guts of my feelins on the wall and just makin a complete mess out of the various feelins I've had for him. I'm also not used to the progression of darker feelins to happiness in my playlists, but I feel like that was born out of strangely reflectin both of our personalities and how they've changed from the darker times of constantly fightin, insecurities, and depression to the overwhelmin amts of love that we share now. to me, the playlist doesn't feel concrete in anythin nor a story, but rather just a concept of us. thats what makes it weird too, I feel like I included both of our dualing personalities in the playlist meshed together in some sort of weird duet of emotions rather than anything linear or only one pov. it feels like a weird dance of conflict yet harmony, and I guess thats the most poetic thing I've ever written about one of my playlists. honestly the playlist just sounds straight up high to me if that makes any sense kshdjdhf (also titled emo boy in some weird nod to bunny boy. I am the bunny boy, he's the emo boy, and he does look a lot like the character art I put for the icon of emo boy). also I might find the playlist embarassin for bein overly sweet idk what I was on when I made it. it's not a bad playlist, it's just strangely not my taste even if I like the songs individually and don't have any issues with the technical progression or anything.

as for the teddy bear one, it's much much much more linear and an almost direct correlation to part of our past. I say almost because our past was more blocked out in periods of time and the playlist blends certain parts together, but blendin is better for playlists so yea. at one point nearer the start, while yes I never said a sappy I love you, I was not subtle in my blatant obsession with him. this gets a tiny bit nsfw but nothin explicit really, but ahjdhdhf. I'd constantly harass him and drive him up the wall until he'd literally slam me against a wall or knock me over and kick me in the gut... which sounds bad, but my immediate responses was almost always shit like "you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid". I literally was provokin him until he got to that point, consistently, to the point where it was expected. I remember once kissin him when he was way too close to my face in threatenin me to get me to stop harassin him, and I could almost see his brain just rebooting as I probably made another sexual comment. Id constantly flirt with him and annoy the hell out of him, but strangely he always came back. we've actually spoke about this more recently, he found most people super boring back then... and was kind of enamoured by my just pure insanity then. I'm not proud of it but I have hilarious stories for days about the scuffles between us and my unapologetically horny ass back then. eventually we settled down and I was a little less insane and we'd do dumb shit like sit in parks and goof around, altho it was mostly me goofin and him watchin me and sometimes sayin the most blatant gay shit ever without realisin it and I shit you not puttin flowers in his hair. however, I struggled immensely with paranoia and psychosis (still sometimes do), and started viewin him as my enemy. it started to become harder and harder to tell delusion from reality, and I felt so conflicted between the almost romance lovey dovey and the evil my brain was convincin him to be, and I slowly spiraled. while we may have gotten into some verbal arguments, they were never explosive or physical like before and was clearly more him bein concerned and tryin to bring me back to reality and me growin more and more cynical. it eventually consumed me to start lashin out, but not in the playful way before that he was initially attracted to. I eventually did hurt him really badly, both emotionally and physically... and then I did actually lay down while starin at the sky at one moment after it all, just rethinkin everything, and wonderin where it all went wrong, but I guess it was never right from the start. and I hated how vunerable he made me feel when he was no longer throwin punches, but genuinely listenin, tryin to help, and never once raised his arm to hurt me ever again and would even just sit there and take whatever bullshit I was spoutin or doin. and as for the last song, well it is related to me goin on to tryin to find him again after we seperated, but also that in our final moment together then, I kind of just knew deep down I was delusional and what I was doin was wrong, but it was far too late in my mind and easier to end it then, and I did whisper to him that I'd find him again one day. my life is weird and sounds like an awful movie but here we areeee. I wouldn't reccomend my life, tbfh hskdhdhdh. again do note we never dated then. but that's also just a quick summary of our history and it's a lot more complicated than that and different ups and downs, but this playlist was a snapshot of that specific story. I decided to tell the story instead of sayin this song is xyz, because I feel like the meanin behind the songs is actually just the story, no more, no less. it was a playlist on me reflectin on how I felt in that point in my life.

this ask is so long and I apologize ysjdhdhdh. if you wanna listen to my non yan playlists, I am curious how u feel abt those, but I also understand if those playlists are outside of your interests ~🎵

That is an extremely interesting (and tumultuous) background to you and your boyfriend's relationship; I can definitely see the amount of emotion and personality you put into your playlists, especially your feelings in regards to everything that happened. I will listen to your other playlists, but I will likely not write my thoughts on them (I have a few exams this week). Thank you for trusting me enough to share your story, I imagine it is deeply personal for you and possibly guilt-inducing to talk about hurting your darling in the past.

I smiled a little when you talked about provoking him because it reminded me of my darling doing the same (although she was certainly not as bold as you were) and shutting her up by slamming her against the wall and the like (I am not exactly proud of that). I hope you were physically alright after getting thrown around though. Having paranoia and delusions fucking suck, I'm sorry you had/have to deal with that and that they messed things up for you and with him in the past. I really am happy you were able to reconcile with your darling and that you are doing better now!

[nev3rfound]

lingering silence : b.b

brief summary: learning to accept how to move on after the events of IW

requested: nope, just a very sad idea I came up with at work word count: 1.6k warnings: spoilers for IW I guess if you’ve not seen it, and it’s kinda sad

(italics is previous events- just a heads up) 

part one / part two / part three 

* masterlist of sorts *

Smiling brightly you walk into the main space, seeing those left sat around without any words being exchanged. 

“Mornin’“ You call out and keep your smile on your face, trying not to take notice of the glares or confused expressions that cross you. 

“Hey,” Steve mumbles as he leans back against the sofa, somewhere he’s struggled to move for weeks now whilst Natasha sits in the corner of the room, tucked away in her thoughts. 

He was trying to not let it tear him apart on a daily basis, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself. The world wasn’t ready for a defeat, hell, they weren’t. Yet, it happened, and half of the population is gone, trapped forever. 

However, when Steve looks at you it’s as if it’s not happened. You’re hiding it all or are blocking it out. Out of everyone here, you lost the most but no one would know. You’re still waking up in the morning to go out, buy flowers and come back with a bright smile. 

“Anyone want to go out later? I found this little spot down the road and it’s got a cute bike outside filled with flowers.” Turning your head the shade covers Natasha’s spiteful stare, but you ignore it knowing nothing ill is meant by it. “Or we could order food in? How about Chinese?” You’re becoming better at hiding the desperation in your tone, not that anyone can tell. 

“Can you just stop?” Natasha slices through the shade as she rises to her feet as the blanket falls from her shoulders. “Everyone we care about is gone and you’re here wanting to go out? What the fuck is wrong with you?” She harshly asks before walking away, leaving you sat still fiddling with your nails. 

Steve remains quiet, unsure what is the best thing to say. “How about you Cap?” You pipe up, nudging him lightly in hope of seeing a smile, something you needed to see so badly for comfort. 

But he shakes his head. “Not today, Y/n.” He mutters before walking away leaving you on your own once more. 

Once the room was empty you brought your legs closer to your chest, letting the tears fall you’ve been trying to hold back for so long. “I, I can’t do this alone, Buck.” You whisper into the atmosphere as you bury your head in your lap. “I need you back. Please,” Unable to finish your sentence you throw your head back and wipe your eyes before inhaling deeply. “ugh, get it together.” You tell yourself as you walk out of the room, heading out for some fresh air in hope to stop the tears, to stop the blotchiness forming in your face. 

*

Walking into the gym Steve watches as Tony works with Natasha. Usually, you’d be here, working out for at least two hours, but you were nowhere to be seen. 

Shrugging it off Steve walks over to the two as they come to a halt upon his arrival. “You seen Y/n?” Natasha asks and Steve slowly shakes his head. 

His fear rises as he watches the way Tony looks to him, concern growing in his expression. “She didn’t come back last night after she headed out around 6pm.” Tony lowers his head before pulling out his phone. 

Steve takes the phone in his hand, watching the footage of you leaving the compound with a bunch of flowers in your grip. “And, and she didn’t come back afterwards? Not even late?” He questions and Tony shakes his head. 

Letting out a heavy sigh Steve backs away. He’s let his best friend down, even if he’s not here to tell him so he just knows. “It’s all my fault.” Natasha mutters quietly as Tony places his arm around her, but she shrugs him off. “No, it is. I told her to stop trying so hard, and maybe she has.” 

“That’s not Y/n, ‘Tasha.” Steve states as he shakes his head in disbelief. “I’ll find her.” He backs out of the gym and starts running, hoping his memory might serve him well in finding her at one of the many potential spots Bucky always spoke of. 

“There’s this small stream, downtown. She loves seeing the stars reflectin’ in the water.” Bucky smiles at the thought as he reminisces on one of his first dates with you as his best friend listens. “I love watching her smile like that, so, so full of life.” 

“You think you love her?” Steve questions, nudging Bucky who doesn’t falter before nodding. 

“Yeah,” He laughs softly before turning his head, his smile still evident on his face. “I think I do.” 

“Y/n?” Steve calls out as he slows down along the stream filled with flower petals that run along the stream. “Y/n?” His tone softens as he follows the array of petals towards discarded flowers. 

And then he sees it. A wide selection of flowers covering a small patch underneath a large oak tree. He lets out a sigh of relief as he spots you lying down with a blanket over your body. 

“She fell asleep on my chest last night as we sat under that tree.” Bucky glances down, still feeling her touch against his skin. “I whispered it, Steve.” He tries to hide his excitement, but Steve can just tell he’s bursting to tell him. “I told her I love her.” 

Steve pats Bucky’s back. “And?” 

“She let out a yawn and told me she loved me back.” He laughed wholeheartedly. “Who’d of thought it? Y/n and me?” 

Watching closely Steve sees your hand clutching onto more flowers as dying ones surround you. He steps closer, seeing something else besides the flowers. “Oh, Y/n.” His face drops as he realises what this is. 

A small photograph of Bucky smiling sits underneath the tree, hanging by a nail you must’ve hammered into it. His old dog tag hangs along with a small ring, your engagement ring. 

This is your grave for Bucky, your way of saying goodbye since you never had the chance to properly. “Hey, Y/n?” Steve crouches down, touching your arm lightly feeling how cold your skin is against his touch.

The sudden movement causes you to open your eyes and you press a knife against his throat. “Oh,” Lowering the knife you relax, realising it’s only Steve. “sorry, force of habit.” You mutter before shuffling to sit cross-legged, the blanket still covering your frozen body. 

“Is this where Bucky talked about?” Steve sits down opposite you and he finally notices the stains on your skin.

Usually, you’d be so bright, distracting them from what was happening to you beneath the surface. Now that you’re not smiling he can see it, the true pain rising that you hid so well from everyone else. 

Lifting your head you glanced over your shoulder, remembering all the memories made here. “Yeah, this is,” Sighing you turn back to face Steve. “was our spot.” 

Steve can easily picture the two of you here, separate from everyone and everything for a short while, a true escape. He learnt all of the significant events that happened under this tree, no wonder you chose here to make this his grave. 

“I’m sorry we’ve been rude to you, Y/n.” Steve quietly states but he watches as you shake your head.

“It’s not your fault, Steve.” He looks down, seeing your hand on top of his. “None of it was.” Realising what you mean he nods, but you keep your hand still. “I don’t think I’ve come to terms with it just yet, what this all means.” You explain as your eyes focus behind Steve, picturing Bucky walking towards you after a long day of training. “That, that he’s gone and isn’t,” You can feel your lower lip quivering, but you swallow the watery sob back. “isn’t coming back.” 

“We don’t know that,” Steve interrupts, but you scoff lightly.

“Like shit we don’t.” You bluntly state. “Bucky isn’t coming back. None of them are coming back because they’re dead!” Yelling the words you’ve held back for so long, hiding them behind your smile and the pain in your eyes you scream before collapsing into Steve. 

He holds you close, your limp body finally coming to terms with the exhaustion. “I know, Y/n.” He soothes as you sob against him. “I miss him too.” 

“I just need him, Steve. I, I don’t think I can do this alone.” You whisper and Steve pulls away, raising an eyebrow to you in confusion. 

“What’d you mean?” He asks and you glance behind you, picking up something hidden behind Bucky’s photograph and place it in Steve’s hand. 

His eyes widen at the sight before tears fall down his face as he stares at you. “I don’t want her growing up without knowing him, Steve.” You sob as you place your hand on your stomach and Steve holds you close as he lets the tears fall. 

Bucky will never get to see this, the fact that he won’t get to be the Dad he dreamed of being or the Husband to the first girl to truly love and understand him. He’s gone, and it is something you still cannot process. 

“Come on,” Steve mutters as he bends down, picking up the blanket and you. “it’s best you get some rest.” 

You simply lie in his arms as you look back at the small sight. The flowers surrounding his photo, that bright smile you couldn’t take your eyes off when it would make an appearance. 

“I love you James,” You place your hand on his cheek, watching as his smile grows against your touch and the sound of those words being said back. “never forget that, okay?” 

He shakes his head. “I’ll never forget that, doll, ever.” 

[aeternxm-aa]

yanno, if he were any other guy - that shit right there? fuck, he'd be a blushin' mess - all pretty n' pink in the face, takeshi's sure of it! and yeah, okay - maybe he doesn't understand half of what the guy is saying, but that's half the fun, he doesn't have to understand it to know that he's basically just been compared to a goddess - at least in his eyes he has.

❝ look at 'chu, ya lil' smooth talker. wanna get in m' pants tha' badly, huh? ❞ takeshi's flattered, really. not surprised ( because really - have you fuckin' seen him? ) but flattered all the same.

❝ next yer gonna tell me how pretty th' moon looks reflectin' off m' face or some shit, right? or how sexy i'd look splayed out on yer bed-- ❞ he falls back against his chair, hand upon his forehead for dramatic effect. ❝ y'ain't wrong - been told i look real fuckin' pretty on m' back-- ❞

A small smirk curled on his lips as the other leaned towards him trying to look more appealing. A small tilt of his head was given as he watched the young man. Leaning forwards he held the others chin with a single finger, keeping those lovely lavender toned eyes trained on the others as he spoke.

"You would like pretty words I see. You've certainly a unique beauty to you that is well worth the powdered and pretty words of a the bards of the old days. Were these the days of old even the priestess's of Hathor would weep in jealousy, swearing you had the blessings of their goddess." He purred out.

[likethewindandsea]

Lost you

Found you

In my mind

In my mind

All this time

So close

Too kind

She's too kind

That girl is still wild

Lost you

Found you

All these bitches actin' like it's just business

That dude's the only one on my playlist

Sellin' our minds

Writin' rhymes

I thought they'd be mine

Thought they'd shine

On Europe's coast without a rhyme

New York without a dime

Beggars becomin' famous

While the poets are still nameless

That girl is chasin' fame, bitch

Dudes chasin' the dream

Lookin' for some green

New bags filled with cash

The only one who'll know your name

Is the guy who types your nametag

'Till you can buy your name back

Ordered all the classics

Yeah, that shit's fantastic

Shit's too big

She's coughin' like she's sick

Ridin' on this dick

That's a kick

Like we're younger

Like we're stronger

'Cause we don't care about them brands

Listenin' to our own bands

Makin' up a dance

Shakin' in the cold night

Like leaves, we're reflectin' moonlight

Like Kubrick, we're artists

I prefer the books

I prefer her looks

Drugs on the cheap

Memories to keep

Like our minds are so deep

Fuckin' weak

She suck's like she's tryin'

Tired of dying

Tired of smoke rings sent flyin'

Expensive shit we're buyin'

On all your nights you're tryin'

Screamin' and lyin'

Fuckin' dyin'

[louistomlinsonyear]

The song ocd kinda makes me think of 1d and the popularity that it had. Like look at the lyrics 💔

In the field, ballin' with the team (With the team), oh yeahIn the field, ballin' with the teamOCD 'cause I'm ridin' so cleanOld school whips, seein' new things (Skrrt, skrrt)Rollin' up, got a few flamedNew Prada shoes, no shoestrings (Skrrt, skrrt)Closet full of kicks like Liu KangWe was just dreamers, broken leadersOn the low, rollin' weed up, now they see usIn that drop-top Beamer (Skrrt, skrrt!)Feel like ODB, feeling OCD (Skrrt, skrrt!)Out this universe, D.CGoin' so hard, make it look easyPut the squad, zone 3 (Zone 3)We so cold, wrist on freezeRoll it up for me, get high (Get high)If you feel me, put your hands to the sky (Hands to the sky)Break it down, roll it up for me, get highNothin' else matters up until the day I dieWanna move my loved ones out the South SideIf you look up, you might see us in the sky (Sky so high)If you look up, you might see us in the sky (In the sky)Time is undefeated, in the end, it beats us allMy daddy, my momma, myself, we all destined to fallCurrently, the most important thing within my life is balanceI ain't talkin' commas and zeros or monetary (Balance)Talkin' self-worth, put yourself first, don't worry 'bout the worstBut when you in this position, it's hard to make selfish decisionsGot enough bread, I'ma eat, but what about the rest my team?They good and all, but I mean, if I disappeared from the sceneThen what's gon' happen? What's gon' happen?In a hotel writin' rhymes before I headline at a festivalBut all that’s runnin' through my mind is bottom lines and decibelsSo focused on the brand sometimes forget about the ManReflectin' in the mirror with this pen in his hand99 percent of these people will never understand, supply and demand'Cause I'm in the public eye, they think they know who I amIn the field, ballin' with the team (With the team), oh yeahIn the field, ballin' with the teamFeel like ODB, feeling OCD (Skrrt, skrrt!)"Oh, shit, it's Logic! Can I have a picture?" They don't give a damnSoon as they see me, they clench the device that's in they handDon't even say hello, more like, "Can I get one for the 'Gram?"That's when I be like, "Fuck no, but you can shake my handLet's have a conversation, talk about life man-to-manYou disappointed, I can read your body language like a paragraph""Logic, yeah, that's cool and all, but I'd much prefer a photographI mean, can I have a photograph?"Goddamn, all these people nowadays are so unusualThey'd rather snap a pic with you to go get more likes than usualThan have a conversation, back in the basement with no placementCouldn't never fathom talkin' to my favorite rapper that wayI'm just an entity, my DNA not my identityFindin' serenity, become a better man, I better beFor the child in my baby momma stummy, never crummyWe can make bread, tryna be the greatest, that shit been deadI'm tryna be the happiest that I can be insteadI'm tryna get ahead like a fetus, money don't complete usOr defeat us, it can lead us to depressionBein' rich is not a blessin', fame is not a blessin'Wasn't 'til I was rich and famous I learned that lessonWhat's the meanin' of life? To live it, what I'm guessin', yeahyou are... right

[slxrpindust]

“… What are you staring at?”

Angel had just been sitting on a bench near the field, enjoying a snack and watching the football team cause an absolute ruckus. Those wereboys were all at it again, not that he minded. He’d been minding his business, or so he thought. When a voice made him realize someone had been standing in the corner of his vision for a while now. The arachnid pulled his popsicle out and turned to face the little lady in front of him.

“Oh shit. Sorry kid, uhh. I guess the light reflectin’ off ya tiara caught my eye. Why ‘ave ya just been standin’ there?”

First Encounters

[chelzone]

part of me worries during my rambling during the part 3 video for me Fallout 3 playthru i made meself look like a wee bit of a jackass, but also probably not. just helps to think about things at times, especially when there's no easy simple answer. a learnin experience too i suppose. also im only a single flawed human with tons of room to grow, babey

there's no easy context to rlly give here that isnt in da video itself i guessy, just was thinkin an rambling a lot after reflectin on songs i was hearin in-game. an then further from there thinkin about satire in stuffs, edgy shit in media, and degrees of how bigoted content stuffs can get a lot. an like how to properly handle stuffs as a creator i guess

rambling, yeah

[nur-ahmad-n]

Maybe Solitude is what you need

Sittin on a toilet

But I can’t seem to give a shit

Read a book recently

Titled “The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck”

Feelin dumb filled up wit luck

Cuz I’m great-full to be Alive

The universe reflectin my vibe

I wanna love myself, it begins with a smile

Let it linger just a while

Now, you, too, follow suit

Let’s be like stars on a cruise

No need for champagne

Cuz we fine with drinkin blues

Tell me, what I’m sayin, is it true?

Feelin like The Valley is where I was always meant to be

These days stunning like prime time Ali

Whenever I walk up on the scene

Can’t help but feel clean

My thoughts reflect my actions

Everything finally alignin

[jesusandreedusprompts-blog]

Sunset

**Possible Trigger-Warning: deals with past self-inflicted abuse on both sides**

It wasn’t the faded line of the sun across the horizon that pierced Paul’s eyes that evening. Unsettled breaths shook his core –his features smothered by the drapes of hair falling over his face. His back was perched right up against the wood pillars that had been slammed together to form the wall around the Hilltop.

It wasn’t the steps of Daryl approaching him that shook his core that evening.

Cigarette smoke blows across the sky following behind Daryl as the hunter steps near to the lone man. “You sure know how to start some drama.”

Paul raises his head to meet the looming gaze of Daryl’s.

No, it wasn’t the sun peeking behind the tree-line that pierced his eyes just now.

Daryl drops the smoldering butt to the ground and smashes it with his foot as smoke escapes the corner of his mouth. He sits next to Paul, pressing his back against the fence with his arms resting on blood-stained knees. He smells of smoke and death.

Paul can’t shake the feeling that Daryl’s here to tell him the same as everyone else’s words have been –echoing over and over in his head.

“We’re not the killers.”

“We ain’ the dumb ones neither.”

Paul closes his eyes. When he opens them, he looks to Daryl’s hands that are held by limp wrists across his upright knees. From the corner of his eyes he scans the hands that had taken a life today. Bloodied –from his own and likely others. Across his knuckles are jagged lines and Paul imagines a macabre scene of what made them that way. Paul finds himself eyeing those marks until he spots something different from the expected.

A keloid scar rests on the fleshy bed between his thumb and knuckles. It’s nearly a perfect circle—the same size as the smashed cigarette butt that sits between their two bodies.

“Those people –they have been through the same obstacles as we have. They made choices that maybe weren’t them—but survival itself is the one doing the talking.”

“They don’t deserve a chance to do em’ again.”

Paul wore-long sleeves for a reason whenever possible. The sleeve of his forearm had fallen, and with his green eyes, Paul traced the thin scars that lined his arm.

“People can change.”

“You don’t know the kind of people that them shit holes are. They ain’ the ones who do reflectin’ and then re-think their fucked-up lives.”

“You don’t think I’ve been around those kinds of people either?”

“They ain’ exactly from yer college-kid lifestyle.”

Paul scoffs. “What ‘college-kid lifestyle’? I was raised in homes with men just like them who did anything just to make the day go by easier.”

Paul catches Daryl starring at the same lines on his arms that Paul had drifted off on for far too long.

Paul pulls down the sleeves, catching Daryl turn away as he does so. “Just because you were stuck somewhere once, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to get away from it.”

In between the silence, Daryl picks at a blade of grass and splits its center with his thumbnail.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Daryl. One day you will.” Paul sighs, his eyes suddenly heavy. “But I don’t want to talk about it anymore.” He drifts off back to the place where he imagines a line of people waiting for their execution.

His thoughts are interrupted when an arm wraps around his waist. It pulls him in closer and a hand finds its place around the curve of his side. He leans into the embrace and allows his weary head to drop to a firm shoulder.

“Don’t talk ‘bout it. We’ll deal with shit when the time comes.”

One day things would change. But if Paul could capture and hold onto the way things were right now in this very moment -with the sunset piercing his eyes and weak rays of light touching his skin, his lover pulling him in close-, those are the things he’d want to keep the same forever.