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madebycloud · 3 days ago

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What Would I Do Without You?

jinx/powder x reader — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

summary: you've been through hell and back with jinx, and despite it all, you couldn't leave her behind. (requested by anons) warnings/themes: HEAVY ANGST, character death (reader), blood, hurt no comfort harhar words: 2.6k notes: first time writing something so angsty like this haha i hope this is angsty enough... (this takes place when jinx rescued isha in prison) a repost cz tumblr is shti!

You could run.

You could run right now, escape with Isha and Sevika.

But-

How can you? You can't just leave Jinx alone—not now. Not after everything. Not when she's facing off against this monster.

Why didn't you listen?

Why did you have to play the hero?

Why, why, did you choose to stay?

“What are you doing?!” Jinx screams.

And that's the last thing you hear before you face off against the beast, watching as it launches itself at you-

At the last minute, you duck.

Too slow.

Too slow and too late.

In one quick motion, the beast tears into you.

It claws straight at your stomach-

You can feel the air leave your lungs.

You hit the ground.

Blood blossoms on your shirt.

But… it worked. The beast backed away. It fled.

You managed to scare it. You've saved Jinx. You've protected her. This is a victory.

Yet-

Why do you hurt so badly?

You look down, and your stomach is-

Oh.

Oh no...

Everything is red.

There's blood. There's blood everywhere.

Your blood.

You hear the sound of running footsteps. “NO!”

It's her voice.

“PLEASE, NO!” Jinx kneels next to you.

Your mind goes hazy, clouded by pain.

Arms grab you and move you into a sitting position. She's holding you. “Please, please,” she's sobbing as she puts pressure on the wound. “You're going to be okay. You're going to be fine.” You know that's a lie.

You cough. Red bubbles on your lips and slides down your chin.

“No, no, you're okay,” she repeats. “Don't go,” she sobs. “Don't you dare go. Look at me. Look at me.” She grabs your face, trying to angle your face up towards hers. “Please, stay with me. Stay. With. Me."

You feel so tired. You want to sleep.

But she needs you to stay here.

“Sevika!” she screams into nothingness, holding you tighter. “I need help, please come over here!”

The pain is still there, but the adrenaline is starting to wear off.

Your body hurts. Your eyelids flutter, but you force yourself to focus on her face.

She's crying. Her whole body is shaking. She's a wreck, but even like this, she's the most breathtaking you've ever seen.

You think that if you were to die, you'd want the last thing you ever saw to be her face.

She's still holding your head as she screams for help. “SOMEBODY—SOMEBODY PLEASE GET OVER HERE!”

Your body is getting cold. You can hear your pulse, thump, thump, thump, thump, in your head.

There's an arm around your back, supporting you as you slowly slump against her. Your head rests on her chest, and you can hear her heart beating loudly.

“I'm scared,” she whimpers. “I'm so scared.”

She is scared.

She's scared that she'll never taste your lips, never feel your breath on her neck.

She's scared that she'll never again feel your fingers on her hip, or your hands on her waist, or your face in her hair.

She's scared that you'll never hold her close, or tease her, or say her name in a way that makes her heart flutter.

She's scared that this is her last moment with you.

“Jinx.” You call her name one last time, her heart breaking when she hears how labored your voice is. It sounds so unlike you.

“No, no, don't say my name like that,” she begs. “Don't say my name like that—it can't be. Please, it can't be.”

She's crying, her tears fall onto your face. You taste saline and sweat and sadness.

You look into her eyes. Those beautiful eyes, full of tears. The eyes that made your heart pound faster and faster whenever you met her gaze.

You think of her face, her laugh, her smile. You think of her hand in yours and the way she looks in the light of dawn. You try to remember her smell, her voice, her skin.

You know this is probably the last time you'll ever be this close to her.

You love her so much.

You try to reach up and touch her face, to wipe away her tears. Your muscles protest and scream at the movement. But you try, anyway.

She catches your hand, presses it against her cheek. Her skin is warm and soft, and you memorize the feeling of it. You hope you'll always remember how her face feels.

“I love you,” you manage to say.

Her lower lip trembles. “What?”

“I love you.”

“No, no, no… don't say that,” she cries. “Don't say that. You're staying right here. You aren't going anywhere.”

She can't let you go. Not like this. Not after she just got you. Not after being so close to a life together. Not after finding someone who loves her so much.

You'd give anything for a few more minutes together. An hour, a day, a week.

You want to stay with her.

You want to stay and be with her and see her grow into the woman you know she'll be. You want to watch those eyes light up at a joke and see her smile. You want to sit by her side as she laughs and talk to her for hours. You want to hold her, for as long as you can, and tell her you love her.

You try to muster a smile. “It's okay,” you whisper. “I'm here, right now. I'm… I'm not going anywhere,” you lie.

She nods. She tries to wipe away her tears.

“Please don't cry. You're too pretty to cry.”

She scoffs as she smiles through her tears. You love her like this. Even just hearing her scoff, even if she's upset, makes you happy.

“I'm a mess,” she says. “I'm a crying, snotty mess.”

“I'll love you anyway.”

“Don't say that,” she pleads. “Don't say that, please.”

“Why?”

Her voice breaks. “If you keep saying things like that, I'm not going to be strong enough to let you go.”

“You won't have to.”

“Don't say that either,” she whispers. “Don't make promises you can't keep.”

“I'm right here.” You try to speak louder. “I'm not going anywhere.”

“Stop. You don't know that.”

And you don't. But you want to believe it. Oh, god, if anything, you want to be right.

You reach up again, brush the hair from her face. You try to be gentle so she won't notice how much it's hurting you to move at all.

“Please tell me a story,” you breathe. “Please. I want to hear your voice.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything… anything at all.”

She takes a deep breath, lets it out slowly, and bites her lip in thought. “Okay,” she says after a moment. “I… I have an idea. Do you want to hear it? It's a story, if—if that's okay.”

You slowly nod and take her hand. She's shaking so hard. You run your thumb over her knuckles.

“When I was a little girl,” she starts quietly. “I used to watch the stars. They were so pretty… I'd stay up past my bedtime, just sitting by the window and trying to find the brightest ones in the sky. I always looked for that one star, and I knew I could find it no matter what time it was. I know it's silly…”

It doesn't feel silly to you. You like that she's talking, and even if it's a dumb story, just hearing her is making you feel better.

“I—I wanted to know if there were worlds up there. I didn't know about planets and stars yet, so I'd sit there in my room and imagine all these worlds, full of people who had entire lives I couldn't dream of.”

Closing your eyes, you focus on the sound of her voice.

This is the last time you'll get to hear her talk. The last time you'll get to see her. The last time you'll get to hear her voice. The last time you'll feel her touch. The last time you'll get to be with her.

You smile.

Despite the pain.

You smile.

Even as things start to grow dark.

You smile.

Because even though it won't be for much longer, you know she's still out there.

And she will find her way through this, because you know she can.

Even without you.

“Whenever I couldn't fall asleep,” she continues, “I'd look at the stars and imagine what it was like to live there and what people there were like. I liked to think people on the other worlds would look up and see the same stars and wonder the same things, just like I was. I wanted to see those stars and know that, even if I was by myself in my room, I wasn't really alone.”

“I wanted to know what it was like to explore those other worlds,” Jinx murmurs. “What it was like to be one of those people, with real adventures and fun and families. No rules, just… freedom.”

She keeps talking and talking and talking and-

She notices your hands. Cold. No.

Her hands are shaking, but she reaches out. She reaches for your cheek, caressing it as her fingers tremble. Her hand trembles, and she can't focus on anything but the fact that she's touching your skin, that she's touching you-

She feels the blood on her fingers, trickling down her hand, but she pushes that out of her mind. She doesn't care. You're the most important thing. Always.

She watches your chest, your stomach, waiting for a twitch, a breath, anything to show her that you're still here. That her worst nightmare isn't happening right in front of her eyes.

But there's nothing.

She presses her ear to your chest. Come on, she thinks desperately. Come on, please.

Silence.

Her fingers fumble to find your pulse on your neck.

Nothing.

Her world collapses around her.

No.

No, not like this.

Tears blur her vision. She blinks them away, trying to fight off the tears so she can see you. Can't see you. She doesn't want to. She can't. Not now.

One minute.

Just one more minute, that's all.

Just a few more seconds.

Please.

There's a pressure growing in her chest. It's so tight, it's hard to breathe. She can't breathe. Why can't she breathe? She needs to breathe. She needs to breathe, she needs to breathe, she can't stop crying, she can't stop because you're-

No, no, no. Don't think it, don't think it, don't think it-

“Hey, c'mon,” she says. “This isn't funny. Wake up.” She grabs your shoulders, shaking you. “Wake. Up.”

You're not moving. You're not talking. You're just-

Cold, limp. Nothing's different.

Please, not like this.

“You can't do this.”

Please.

“You have to wake up.”

Please!

“You have to wake up.”

Please, please, please, please.

“You don't just—you don't just get to do this to me!”

This isn't real.

It can't be real.

She closes her eyes.

She reopens them, looking down at your body.

It's real.

“Please wake up! I need—I need you, please.”

She's begging you, to the wind, to the moon, to the stars, that maybe if she pleaded hard enough, hard enough to the whole universe itself, maybe fate would be on her side just this once.

But fate was never on her side.

Life did this to her, it took everything she had and loved and was precious, it took away the only person she knew loved her. Life wasn't good, it was cruel and cold and harsh, and it was taking away everything she had. It was taking everything.

She hates this.

She hates what life was doing to her, what it had done to her. She wants to scream and pull her hair out. She wants to burn the world down and scream at the top of her lungs, at life, at the whole universe, begging it to bring you back.

Just. Bring. You. Back.

How many times had she watched you laugh, watched you smile, and done something as simple as breathing? How often had she watched you speak and talk and joke about something?

How many times had she told you she loved you, how many hours had you lost track of just the two of you talking? How many good moments had the two of you had that she would never be able to experience again?

It had been taken away from her.

You'd never laugh or smile again, that beautiful voice of yours is only a memory now.

And it hurts.

It hurts so much to think about how she's never going to hear your voice. How she's never going to see you walking around the hideout again. She'll never be able to see the smile you give every time she says something stupid.

She'll never be able to hold your hands, to kiss you, to lay her head on your lap. She'll never get to hear you laugh or feel your hands on hers.

She loved you. Every piece of you.

Every smile.

Every laugh.

Every word.

Every tear.

Every kiss.

Every touch.

Every moment.

Every single time.

Every single time you were there for her.

Every single time that you'd given her the best hugs when she'd cried on your shoulder.

Every single time the two of you slept on a small couch just so she could feel safe.

Every single time you'd hold her in your arms.

Every single time you talked her out of a bad mood.

She'll never get to have those again.

She'll never get to experience all of those wonderful, beautiful things again.

And she wants to do it one more time.

One more time to hear you laugh. One more time to feel you put your arms around her. One more time, she wants you to tell her everything is going to be alright. To take her face in your hands, look into her eyes, and say that.

Just one more.

Because what would she do without you?

How would she go on living without you when you were the person who had kept her going for months?

For the longest time, you were the one person that she trusted. The one person that she felt safe with.

Without that, what was the point?

She can still remember the first time she met you. She can still remember the butterflies in her stomach each time she saw you, the way her heart raced whenever you spoke to her. She can still remember that first, awkward kiss, how you held her close in your arms afterwards and didn't let go.

She can still remember the first time the two of you had said, “I love you.”

It was so hard for her to say it because she hadn't felt loved in a long time. And she's nervous, she's scared. But you spoke first, you pulled her close.

It was a whisper, a quiet “I love you” spoken in her ear. And then she started crying, she turned and buried herself in your arms.

I love you.

She'll never hear those words again.

But she can still remember what you sounded like.

That had to be enough.

That has to be enough.

Those three words have to be enough for her.

They have to be.

But they weren't.

Because now, you are gone.

“I love you too,” she murmurs. “So much-”

But there's no one to hear it.

She closes her eyes again, letting the tears roll down her face.

This is what love is, she thinks.

This is what loving someone does to you.

She'd never hated something so much in her life.

“How am I supposed to live without you?”

notes: forgot that singed is literally right there… (might write pt2)

#arcane #jinx #arcane jinx #jinx arcane #arcane x reader #arcane x gender neutral reader #arcane x female reader #arcane x you #jinx x reader #jinx x gender neutral reader #jinx x female reader #jinx x you #jinx x y/n #jinx imagine #angst #heavy angst

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yoonmetogether · 2 days ago

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Not In the Cards Prelude pt. 2

pairing: gambler/drug dealer!yoongi x grad student!fem!reader, surprise pairings rating: mature MDNI! 18+ only. Blank/ageless blogs will be blocked!!! genre: strangers-to-lovers, age gap, intro to e2l mafia/bodyguard au summary: he shows up a second time. but does he stay? warnings/tags: oral (f. receiving), usage of sl*t, motorcycle riding, angst, bantering, dialogue heavy, smoking, implied drug dealing/usage, tiny bit of fluff, flashback of secondary school relationships, referenced underage drinking wc: 12k 😭 im sorryyyy huuuuuge ginormous humongous thank you to my beta reader @yoonglesyeobo for her extraordinary commentary and feedback that never fails to make me smile, as well as @syllviere for her emotional support lol and bouncing ideas with me for this fic. could not have done this without y'all and I’m so grateful for your friendship <333

prologue l ch 1. play nice l prelude. strangers 1/3 l prelude. 2/3 l prelude. 3/3 l

Boys. They’re so messy.

All four of you had been in the hotel room for only 15 minutes but already the floors and counters were littered with beer cans and food containers. Jin would’ve had an aneurysm if he’d seen how quickly things had turned into chaos.

You were sitting on the edge of one of the beds, sulking as you watched your brother get ready. He was choosing which snapback better matched his outfit while Tae leaned over the sink in the bathroom, smearing a charcoal pencil under his waterlines. Jimin, on the other hand, was on the bed opposite you, laying on his back with his phone in the air, playing some game. He’d been the first to get ready.

“Can’t I go? Please?” you whined.

“No,” Jungkook huffed, saying your name in a harsh tone.

“Why not?”

“Because Jin would skin me alive if he found out I took you to an underground poker game.”

“Oh, c’mon!” Tae intervened, stepping out of the bathroom, flashing you a wink. “You’re gonna cave just like you always do, so save yourself the trouble. You know Jin hyung would never do anything to his two precious babies.”

“You’re too nice to her,” Jungkook grumbled, fixing his small gauges.

“She’s so cute, I can’t help it!” Tae exclaimed, your brother rolling his eyes.

“She’s just my lame, annoying sister.” Your jaw dropped, entirely hurt, and Jimin sat up to look between you and your brother with a frown on his face. If only you could hug him without Jungkook throwing a fit. His hugs always made you feel better.

“You’re so mean!” Tae came to your defense. “She loves you and that’s why she wants to go everywhere with you. Maybe you should be nicer.”

Jungkook shook his head defiantly, narrowly missing the pillow you chucked at him. But then he looked at you with a grimace, and you shot up on your feet with a smile. The familiar look of reluctance.

“Don’t wander off or be a pain in my ass,” Jungkook pointed a stern finger at you to which you stuck your tongue out before giddily bouncing over to the bathroom where Tae was finishing up with his hair.

“Thanks, Tae,” you murmured softly as you stepped up next to him.

“Of course, little angel. I always got your back.” You smiled at his soft elbow nudge in your side. “He’s really the lame and annoying one. Not you.”

“I heard that!” Jungkook called out in an offended tone.

“Good!” Tae shot back, grinning widely as you giggled. “Go get ready. We have to leave soon to catch the bus.”

****

The bar was musty, smelling of cigarettes, gross men, and booze, and the dim lights had a green smokey film floating underneath, creating a spooky atmosphere.

“Guys, do you really think we should be here?” Jimin asked nervously, wringing his hands. You stared, wanting to hold one of them.

Tae turned around from where he was standing beside your brother and hopped over with a smile, hooking an arm around Jimin’s neck.

“Aw, it’s okay, Baby J. We have my big pitbull to protect us, remember?” Tae jutted a thumb over his shoulder at Jungkook. Jimin shoved him away.

“How about this?” Tae booped his nose, and you found it cute the way Jimin wrinkled it in response. “When I win, I’ll use the money to replace your shit car.”

You stifled a laugh as Jimin kicked at his shin and Tae skipped away with a laugh, stopping beside your brother who was rolling his eyes at your antics. But he smiled shyly when Tae slung an arm around his waist.

Jimin looked grateful when you hooked your elbows together, both of you sparing a look at your brother to make sure he didn’t notice. Jimin quickly pinched your cheek that flushed under his touch, heart racing when he soothed it with his thumb.

You’d get around to telling them eventually.

Jungkook got in a small argument with a server who thought his ID was a fake, and her eyes widened in shock when your brother turned around to reveal the family emblem permanently drawn on the back of his neck, hidden by the lid of his hat. Your stomach churned at the sight. In a few years, you’d have to get the same tattoo. The very reason why you hated crows.

The server ran off to retrieve the owner, who walked briskly towards your group, eyes hardened.

“Do you know what the boss would do to me if he found out I let you kids in here?” The bar owner exclaimed in a hushed tone, looking around as if Jin was lurking in the shadows, ready to pounce.

“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Jungkook shrugged, adjusting the snapback. “Besides, I just turned 19, so I’m legally allowed to be here.”

“What about your friends?” Your brother glanced back at the three of you. Jimin looked like he was about to throw up and Tae consolingly rubbed his back.

“He’ll be 19 in December, and they have IDs saying they’re old enough.” Jungkook pointed at Tae, and then at you and Jimin.

The man nodded at you and you did your best to maintain a calm demeanor. “Even her?”

“She’s my kid sister, she goes everywhere with me. I’m basically her permanent babysitter.” You flipped him off.

“You’re making me walk a tight line, kid,” the owner sighed. “But alright, come on.”

“You’re the man,” Jungkook grinned, looking back and beckoning you three to follow him.

“Hopefully not a dead one anytime soon.” Your brother laughed as he walked past him, clapping him on the shoulder.

“Nah, you’ll be good.”

As Jungkook led the way through the bar towards some stairs in the back, ignoring the side-glances you all received from the grown men playing cards, you noticed Tae looking around, scanning every table, every face.

“Who are you looking for?” You asked when your brother got caught up ordering a drink.

“Oh, an old friend of mine from back home.”

“Is that why you wanted to come here?”

“Yeah," he nodded with a wistful frown. "It was a long shot but I still wanted to see if I could run into him. He brought me a couple of years ago and taught me how to play.”

A sad look appeared on his face, so you didn’t think he wanted to talk anymore about it.

At the poker table downstairs, Jungkook sat down among the men like he owned the place, Tae right beside him. You pulled up a chair to sit behind them as cards were dealt and chips stacked. Jimin disappeared into the bathroom and didn’t come out for a while.

When the first river was dealt, Tae leaned back to whisper into your ear,

“Remember, it’s all in the eyes, little angel. You can always tell someone’s true feelings in their eyes.”

You nodded, intently watching Tae and your brother play, paying attention to the other men as well, trying to catch their tells.

Jimin returned with a tight smile on his face, and you both squeezed onto the chair, taking his hand into your lap since Jungkook was too engrossed in the play.

Your brother won a few rounds, smug as ever, but Tae won more and just gave Jungkook subtle nudges of his shoulder and whispers in his ear. You reminded yourself to tease him about the blush on his face later.

When the game ended, Tae emerged victorious, and all four of you celebrated with some shots at the bar, Jungkook making you vow that you’d never tell Jin.

Back home, Tae kept his promise to Jimin and bought him a nicer car. Still old and used, but less prone to breaking down.

For your birthday, he gifted you a keyboard, and it became one of your most prized possessions. With it, you composed a piece for Jimin who recorded and saved it on his phone, often playing it in his car whenever you two got some alone time, holding hands over the gearshift while you avoided looking at each other.

Some of your favorite memories. Ones that shaped you, seared a forever nostalgic hole in your heart. Ones that feel like they existed in another lifetime. Ones you’d give anything to relive.

The hotel room is smaller than you thought.

The queen-sized bed is located in the middle of the room, facing the terrace that has a clear view of the ocean. Around the corner of the foyer and hallway closet, is the bathroom; on the other side of that is a small nook with a mini fridge underneath an L-shaped counter, two armchairs on either side. It’s cozy. But cold. Quiet. You’re getting tired of being alone.

Your bags are wet, so you unpack everything to check that nothing’s ruined, rushing to get out your sketchbook. Flipping through the pages, you’re relieved that there’s no water damage. That would be very fucking unfortunate and you don’t need a panic attack right now.

After being caught in the rain, stuck in a basement with greasy men and cigarette smoke, and fucked in a cleaning closet, a hot shower is just what you need. But you don’t scrub your skin too hard. His touch still lingers.

You can still feel the tingle left by his fingers digging into your hips, hand wrapped around your wrist, mouth molded against yours. You don’t want to lose that feeling. Even though you lost him.

You want to scream at the top of your lungs. Why the fuck did you let that man go? You know, in your heart of hearts, that you’ll never meet someone like him again. You won his money - he didn’t owe you a goddamn thing and yet he came after you when he thought you were in danger. That had to mean something, right?

The thought of what would’ve happened if he hadn’t shown up makes your hands feel clammy, despite the steamy shower stall. Who knows what intentions those men had, aside from forcing you to give them the money back. You can fight, but your odds were against you with a group of vengeful thugs. And you don’t have your knife - it would’ve gotten confiscated at the airport and it means too much to you to risk that.

But you do have another weapon, pretty much guaranteeing that you could’ve walked out of there alive. With one flash of the back of your neck, those guys would’ve backed off and run for the hills.

You don’t mull over if Yoongi would join them; instead, spend the rest of your shower fuming, hot water incomparable to the burning in your veins. Because of him, mostly. For being such a jerk even though you didn’t do anything wrong, even though you tried being nice to him. For acting like you’d been the bane of his existence but still fucking you. And for sending you into a confusing whirlwind but not leaving you any time to catch up. And still making you want him.

Maybe you’ll just go to bed and forget him. Do some sketches, get a headstart on upcoming assignments, and go home tomorrow pretending that there isn’t some strange crack in your soul left by a man you just met.

You’re just about to start your skin care routine when three knocks rap on the door. You freeze. It’s almost the middle of the night, who the fuck- Oh, shit. Wait. It can’t be those guys. Wrapped up in a robe, you tiptoe out of the bathroom, mind racing as you formulate a plan if it is them. Pressing against the door, thinking about the possibility of shimmying your way off the balcony since you’re only on the second floor, you peer into the peep hole, heart flatlining when there isn’t a group of thugs outside, but a familiar mop of orange hair.

What the hell is he doing here? Whatever the reason is, you’re way too relieved that it’s him. Teetering on elated, everything you’d come to peace with in the shower wiped away at the sight of him standing outside your door, hands in his pockets, staring down at his shoes.

You swing open the door just as he turns for the stairs, like he’s giving up. His eyes are wide when he faces you, narrowing as they fall on your robe-covered body.

“You just keep turning up, don’t you? Were you a stray cat in a past life?” You tease, snickering at his glare as you lean on the door. He sighs, stuffs his hands further in his jacket, glares harder at the threshold.

“I lied to you about the buses.” You smile softly at his confession.

“I know. They run till midnight.”

“And I don’t have a friend’s place to crash.”

“I figured that.”

He doesn’t elaborate, doesn’t tell you what he’s here for, if he wants something. You already told him you’d give him money, you have more than enough, but you’ll be disappointed if that’s the only reason why he’s at your door.

“So, what? You showed up just to tell me that you lied?”

“No,” he mutters, shaking his head before snapping up to meet your gaze. The fire in his eyes is blazing. “For this.”

And suddenly he’s crowding your space, large, warm hands holding the side of your face. Again. And you barely have time to blink much less breathe before his lips crash onto yours. You thank your lucky stars.

He backs you into the wall behind the open door, and your heart runs in your chest when he starts kissing you just as hungrily as before. But this time, he makes the effort to angle your face with his in a way that he can kiss you passionately, with purpose, with heat, with his tongue meeting yours, exploring between your lips, into your mouth, like he’s trying to steal your breath away and you let him, kiss him back with equal fervor. He kisses you deeply enough that you can feel the effects all the way down to your toes, almost to the point of having an out of body experience, nothing you’ve ever felt before. He kisses you like he has no intention of stopping.

And you don’t want him to, but when you lift your arms to loop around his waist, bring him closer, his jacket is cool and wet, and his body vibrates beneath the layers. You break the kiss to catch your breath and tell him he feels cold, but apologies tumble through his swollen, pink lips.

“Shit, I don’t know what I was thinking, I should-” He takes a step back and you think he’s going to run again, so you grab the side of his damp jacket to keep him in place. Keep him near you.

“You’re shivering.”

He stiffens, but the back of his shoulders visibly tremble. You move past him to close the door, gesturing for him to take off his shoes.

“Do you want to shower?” He regards you for a moment, shoulders tense, and then nods, once. Directing him to the bathroom, you offer a small, warm smile but just as he reaches for the handle and opens the door a crack, you stretch your arm to land a hand on the frame, effectively blocking him.

“Admit that you think I’m pretty first.”

His eyebrows furrow, he blinks, and then swivels on his heels to head for the front door. Your loud laugh echoes after him.

“Have fun sleeping in the rain!”

He exhales a frustrated breath and another snicker fills the space in response as he turns back around.

“Come on, it’s not like you’ll be lying. For once.”

“Wow, pretentious, much?” he quips.

“Stubborn, much?”

His lip curls. “Annoying brat.”

“Grumpy jerk.” It’s enchanting, how quickly you match each other’s energy, hostile but with no real bite.

He scowls and tilts his head up to the ceiling, like he’s wondering what he’s gotten himself into. And your delighted grin glows at him.

“So, what’ll it be?” His glare flickers to you with a piercing glint.

“You’re pretty,” he grumbles, and even though you heard him, you lean forward, cupping your ear, wanting to hear it loud and clear.

“Hm? What was that?”

He speaks through clenched teeth. “You’re really fucking pretty. So there.”

“Dude, why do you look like you’re about to pop a vein?” You cackle and he runs a hand down his face.

“If it makes things any better, you’re not too bad looking yourself. I’d even go so far as to say you’re handsome. Like really fucking handsome,” You mock him and grin when he glowers at you. You nod to the bathroom.

“Get in there.” Twirling around, you just miss the way his cheeks tinge a subtle shade of pink.

As the door closes, your cheeks buzz with a dopey smile you can’t drop, color painting a part of your soul that’s been dormant for a long time, awoken when he showed up on your doorstep because he wanted to kiss you again.

“Hey, can you do me a favor?” you call out. “Would you mind handing me my clothes? They’re on the sink.”

“Haven’t I done you enough favors?” From his one small moment of vulnerability, you forgot that he’s a fucking asshole.

With a huff, you knock on the door rapidly, holding your breath as the handle clicks and the door swiftly swings open to reveal Yoongi’s dark, narrowed eyes. Are you disappointed that he’s only dressed down to a black-tee, still in his jeans? You’ll never admit it. One more glance would show you that they’re unbuttoned, belt removed. The same jeans that were smacking on your ass back in the-

“Were you hoping I’d walk in on you naked?”

He cocks his head with a slight smirk. “I was hoping you’d walk in here naked.”

Oh, he’s smooth. Pulse dancing, you school your expression to conceal how flustered you are.

“Maybe I would’ve if you were nice. Can I have my clothes?” You hold out your hand and he glances down at it, a sigh leaving him as he brings his arm into view, passing over your sleep clothes. You snatch them with a cheeky smile and walk away to change. The door doesn’t shut until you’re around the corner.

Fully dressed and pretty much ready for bed, jet lag starting to get the best of you, you’re sitting at the white counter next to the window, re-checking all the designs in your sketchbooks when the door opens and Yoongi’s bare feet pad on the floor. You tense with the urge to turn around and see whether or not he’s appearing as what you’re imagining in your mind. Towel wrapped low on his hips, chest bare, body lithe and sleek and beautiful. When he passes behind you, the air around you thickens with his musk, the clinging scent of hotel soap and shampoo. Your legs cross under the table.

He stands adjacent to your seat, and you sneak a glance up at him peering down at your sketchbook, shaking a small towel over his wet hair. But he’s wearing a damn robe, sash tugged tightly around his waist, his clavicles and center of his chest just barely peeking out, two chains accentuating it. One is medium-length and studded with tiny diamonds, the other a long collection of stainless steel beads that hold two dog tags from his military service.

You retract your gaze and pretend to draw, cheek warming against your fist. He’s so attractive, it’s not fair.

“Are you an architect or something?” he asks as he drops in the seat across from you, towel falling around his neck. His tone sounds accusatory, like he can’t fathom you being in that kind of profession, but you don’t take it personally. You figure it’s just another one of his asshole-isms.

“No, I’m just minoring,” you reply without looking at him. “These are some sketches I’m playing with for my thesis project in the spring.”

“How proactive. They’re, um,” he clears his throat. “They’re pretty decent.”

He’s still leaning over, so with a bashful smile, you slowly push the book to his side of the table, permission for him to examine more closely.

“Thanks. My friends and I are talking about opening up an architecture firm after we graduate, and they’re looking at me to take care of the business portion of it.”

“Hm.” He sounds indifferent, but he glimpses at you while you talk, so you think he’s at least listening. As soon as you stop, though, his eyes return to your sketchbook. And he’s not just flipping through them. He takes his time with each page, each design, even the messier ones with all the frustrated scribbles and eraser marks. Sometimes he leans in and squints to get a closer look at the smaller details and… No one has looked at your pages like that. Not even your friends. Or brothers. The only exception is your professors, but that’s for a grade. Something glimmers in your chest. Something warms.

You change the subject so you don’t dwell on it.

“What did you major in?”

Your question sparks a slight frown on his face as he flips a page. “I didn’t go to college. Not for me.”

You nod in understanding. “Then, what do you do? Or you just gamble for a living?”

“You and all these questions.”

“Fine. Be boring,” You huff, crossing your arms.

“I work on cars,” he reluctantly mutters. Perking up at that, you sit a little straighter.

“You’re a mechanic?”

He hums in acknowledgment and you launch into a mainly one-sided conversation about your favorite makes and models, wishing you could tell him about your brother’s extensive car and bike collection. You smile when he at least indulges you in his current vehicle choice - an Elantra. Ooh. Sporty.

You’re a tad too giddy when you ask, “Do you race?”

“I can. But I don’t.”

“Maybe one day I’ll beat you at that too.” He just sighs and shakes his head, and you wear your shit-eating grin as the conversation comes to a stand-still. Now that you’re not sure what else to say and he doesn’t seem too keen on entertaining more questions, you wait for that awkward tension to settle between you but it never comes.

It’s just… quiet. Except for the sound of your breathing as you ponder explanations for why your heart is pounding that doesn’t have to do with the man sitting across from you, still engrossed in your sketches.

It’d be nice if he gave you an indication that he was interested in doing anything besides this and kissing you, but you suppose the fact that he accepted your invitation to shower instead of just fucking you in the foyer and hitting the road again is indicative of he can now at least stand being in your presence.

“So, fixing cars makes you enough to gamble a few million won away at an illegal poker ring? All in one night?”

He glances at you with a glare, flipping another page. “Okay, smart ass. What do you think I do?”

“Hm, I don’t know,” you pretend to think. “Sell stuff.” He doesn’t look at you, a slight down tick at the corner of his mouth.

“Stuff.”

“Substances?” Narcotics is the word you want to say, but don’t. Scrutinizing another drawing, impassiveness covers his face.

“And would you have a problem with that?”

“Do I seem like I would have a problem with that?” His attention flits to you for a small moment and then stays down.

His silence is enough to say that he doesn’t want to talk any more about it and you won’t press him even though you’re a nosy little shit because you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. But you do want to let him know that you’re not one to judge.

If he is a dealer, you know just how easy it is to get into but so much harder to get out of.

“Well, whatever it is, shit’s tough out here, and sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do, y’know?”

He doesn’t say anything after that and so you let it go. But there’s still something else on your mind.

“Can I ask another question?”

“No,” he deadpans, and you ignore him.

“What was your plan after you dropped me off?”

He brings your book to the edge of the table and sits back in the chair.

“I was gonna go to a sauna, but I forgot I gave the rest of my cash to the cab driver.”

Your brow quirks inquisitively. “Cab? Weren’t you just on a motorcycle?”

Whole body stilling, he focuses on nothing for a moment before quietly grumbling,

“I paid him so he’d tell me where he took you.”

You gawk at him as everything sinks in. A ring of promise glows around the surface of your heart when you realize he went out of his way to find you.

To look out for you. To protect you. And expected nothing in return. Despite the fact that you kissed him, showed him you wanted more, he didn’t try to invite himself up. Just took off into the night without looking back. Like he didn’t just save your life. Like you don’t owe him for fucking stabbing someone for you.

“You really came looking for me,” you marvel. “Why?”

His jaw clenches, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

“I don’t have to answer that.” Ugh, he’s so fucking difficult, with this wall around him that you desperately want to infiltrate.

“You and your attitude,” you scoff. “What’s your problem?”

When he doesn’t respond, you reach over to pull your sketchbook out of his grasp, slamming it closed on the table. You repeat your question with a harsh glare and he returns it with equal intensity.

“You,” he admits darkly, eyes hardened. “You are my problem.”

“Then what are you doing here?” His lips pull into a line and he stares at his flat hand on the table. You sit back again, dejected fingers rubbing over your sketchbook, watching him refuse to look at you.

You stand up before your brain gives the command, feet gliding around the table, heart pounding with each step, and end up next to his chair. He stares up at you with a pinch between his brows as you nudge your knee against his, and even though he looks confused, he turns away from the table to give you more room to stand in between his legs. Jet lag be damned, you dip a knuckle under his chin, holding his head up. His pupils on you are so dark, more than they’ve been all night as he doesn’t blink.

You can’t tell if he’s nervous, or scared, or upset, or a combination, similar to the complexity running in your veins.

“You’re the annoying one.” You stick a knee next to his hip, a hand on his shoulder, a pretense to lowering yourself into his lap. He cocks a brow.

“You can’t even tell me you want me.”

“You think I came back for what? A hot shower?” He says it so sarcastically, you almost laugh.

“Yeah, and a place to stay,” you murmur, resisting the temptation to tuck a piece of hair behind his ear.

“I would’ve figured something else out. Not my first time with nowhere to go.”

You frown at the thought of him being stuck in places where he wasn’t comfortable. Or safe. Even if he only came back so he wouldn’t end up spending a night in the rain, you would let him stay. You might put him up on the floor but at least he’d be inside.

When he doesn’t say a word, your other hand falls on his shoulders to finally settle yourself in his lap. his chest heaving in a deep breath. As you sit over his crotch, his hands flex, but remain dangling off the arms of the chair. Your eyes fall to the chains glinting on his pale chest and you hook a finger around the diamonds, lifting the small circular pendant, noticing a tiny inscription. You glance at him, silently asking for permission to study it. He just stares so you take that as a yes and lift it to get a closer look.

For my sonja, MYG

A soft smile on your lips, you drop the pendant and trail down to the tags that sit on his sternum and examine the carved information.

Huh. You have the same blood type.

“Are you dangerous, Min Yoongi?” The question pours out of your mouth, testing out his full name on your tongue. He squints at you with mirth.

“It’s a little late to ask that.”

Shrugging, your thumb runs over the metal tags, waiting for his answer.

“I’m not a stalker or a serial killer. Good enough?” It should be. But you have to be sure.

“If you wanted to hurt me, you would’ve done it by now, right?”

A few beats of silence pass, and vines of trepidation for his truth start to creep up your spine. But then warm, calloused yet soft hands coast up the sides of your thighs to rest on your hips. The vines spark with flames, traveling over every cell of your skin, ignited by his simple touch. Trepidation becomes suspense.

“I don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it.”

The implication should scare you. That he hurts people. Maybe even does it for a living. But you know, peering deeply into his dark, brown eyes, that he isn’t a threat to you.

He stabbed someone right in front of you, and instead of being afraid like you should’ve been, you ran away with him. In the middle of the street, soaked to the bone with piercing rain, you grabbed him by his shirt and kissed him like your life depended on it.

And you’re about to do it again.

Lifting your hand to cup his cheek, your heart dips when he flinches away, ever so slightly. What the fuck has this man been through? You drop it back on his shoulder, smooth it slowly, daringly, down to his left pec, fingers under his robe. Your breath hitches when you feel how strong his chest is, throat tightening when your palm radiates with the fast rate of his heartbeat.

Too fast to be normal. Too fast to hide that he’s affected by you.

“Do you want me?” you whisper, voice scared of rejection. His jaw ticks, his hands moving to your waist, pressing you forward and down on the solid erection forming beneath you. You gasp.

He grits his next words through clenched teeth, like it’s hard for him to say them.

“I wanted you the second you sat down at that goddamn poker table.”

Just like that moment in the rain, before you got on his bike and held onto him while he drove you into safety, you don’t think before crashing your lips onto his. He opens his mouth to welcome your tongue, and you lick over it with meaning.

The two of you set in motion a greedy and lascivious rhythm of sloppy tongues and experimental grinding hips. His fingers curl into the plush of your ass, encouraging the roll of your center over his erection, ruining your shorts with arousal. He sucks on your bottom lip, moaning when your hand sneaks into his lap and boldly squeezes his twitching length.

“If I suck your dick, are you gonna leave me on the floor again?” you challenge over his mouth.

He pulls away with a frown and a cross in his brows as he looks at you silently expecting some kind of an apology. But he doesn’t even open his swollen mouth, just pushes at your waist until you stand up from his lap, and before you can question what he’s doing, he kisses you again, gripping your waist as he walks you back to the bed. Hands slipping up to your ribcage, he lowers you down, heart hammering to the surface of your chest as he holds himself above you, one hand on your side, the other pressing into the comforter next to your head.

Warmth pools in your belly as his chains fall in between your breasts, then slide to rest on the base of your throat. You smile in between his lips, lifting a hand to tangle in the links.

“You better not break my jewelry,” he utters, tongue nudging your bottom lip to encourage your mouth open, and without opening your eyes or breaking from his enticing mouth, you grab his hand and encourage it towards your breast, shirt covering your pert nipple.

He softly squeezes a handful of your tit and you arch into him with a moan, his lips between yours curving up in a smug smile. Kissing you once, twice, he drags his mouth down your jaw, to your neck that you strain so he can bruise and bite at your skin. You curse when he moves to mouth over your clothed tit, gently pulling your nipple between his teeth to test out your reaction. You bite your lip with a moan and reach up to curl your fingers in his hair, squirming when he flattens his tongue over the tiny sting.

“So sensitive,” he smizes, cocksure. He laps at your tit once more before nosing down, fingers bunching up your shirt to reveal your stomach, moan escaping you when his lips graze your bare skin.

“Is this supposed to be an apology?”

He shrugs and you roll your eyes as he stands to drag down your sweats, your lungs constricting with every inch of skin he unveils. You know he already fucked you, knows what your pussy feels like, but he hasn’t seen you yet and your cheeks heat at the thought of baring your everything to him.

“Don’t tell me you’re shy,” he muses when your legs close in their bent form after he fully removes your sweats, tossing them back onto one of the chairs.

You shake your head in denial, but your eyes that refuse to open, refuse to see him staring at you, say otherwise.

“Where’s that dirty girl who wanted to get fucked in a closet by a stranger?”

“Don’t you mean slut?”

“Fine,” he smirks. “Bring back the dirty slut who practically begged me to fuck her in that closet.”

“Sure, as long as you don’t act like a prick anymore.”

Smirk falling, he averts his eyes, tilting his head to the side as his hand smoothes over your lower stomach, fingers dipping into the hem of your-

“Cute panties.”

“They’re shorts.”

“You call these shorts?” He snaps the fabric strained around your thighs. “Leaves little to the imagination.”

“Well, that’s good for you, right? Aren’t you too old to have an imagination?” He quirks a brow, lifts his head to level you with an entertained gaze.

“Says who?”

“Society,” you shrug, and he exhales an unamused huff.

“Wow, good argument. You should sign up for a debate team.”

“I was actually on one in school.”

“So why aren’t you any good?”

“Oh, shut up!” You admonish, and he snickers. If you really think about it, it’s crazy how easy it is to fall into conversation with him like this. And incredibly insane how it does really funny things to your heart.

A stuttered gasp pours from your lips when he cups your heat, rubbing his flattened fingers back and forth. You hiss when he pokes over your covered hole, panties/shorts soaked with your arousal.

“Damn, you get so wet for me,” he muses, tongue poking past his teeth as he pulls your panties to the side. Fuck, just that movement alone is enough to put a flutter in your stomach.

“A little grinding on my lap is all it takes, huh? Or do you just really like being called a slut?”

“Screw you.” His dark chuckle shamefully turning you on, he pulls back his fingers to circle feather-light around your clit. You pull your lips in and shut your eyes to lock away a moan. “We’re getting to that.” His hands slide under your ass, eyes trained on you as he pulls off your garment, and you take a deep breath when he pushes your legs apart.

“Scoot up.” With his hands holding your thighs, you wiggle your way back until your head nears the edge of the mattress, lust coursing through your blood as he lays down in between your legs, licking his lips at the sight of your bare cunt. You relax into the soft comforter as he starts off with dragging his lips on the inside of your thigh, humming as he goes along, and arousal builds at the vibrations on your skin. Glancing down at the appealing sight of his head between your legs, you’re tempted again to run your fingers through his soft locks.

“You could really use a root touch-up,” you think out loud. He huffs, breath hitting a spot on your thigh where he was sucking a small mark.

“Ah, hell. Can you be quiet?”

“Just saying.” He clicks his tongue.

As you break out into a laugh, your expression drops when his dark eyes fixate on you and he spits, loudly, right on your hole before dragging his tongue in a thorough, languid lick through your folds. Back arching with a moan, your hand flies into his hair, pulling a low growl from his throat. He pauses at your clit, nose nudging it before he sucks in a breath, tightens his hold around your thighs, and buries his face in your pussy.

He consumes you, flicking his tongue in some places and slurping in others, going back to the ones that you respond to more - it’s like you just served your pussy to him on a gold fucking platter and he’s savoring you like it’s his last meal.

Fingers tangled in his soft, damp locks, you use your other hand to stifle your whines that he’s drawing out with his expert tongue.

“Don’t hold back for me, dollface,” he insists over your clit. “You can’t get us caught this time.”

Resolve crumbling, you barely register the fact that he called you ‘dollface’ as your hand smacks onto the comforter and unrestrained, needy moans fill the room. He grunts in response and your trembling thighs squeeze around his head as he latches onto your clit, suckling and licking to add fire to the flame in your gut.

“Fuck, Yoongi!” you whimper, muscles tensing as the impending snap looms closer.

“Mm, say my name just like that,” he purrs, tongue flicking on your clit.

“You mean you want me to?” You antagonize, not entirely brain dead yet. “After all that grief you gave me about-”

He suddenly draws back, forcing you to groan at the orgasm he just snatched away, hips involuntarily chasing after his mouth.

“Say my fucking name,” he demands.

“Do something that will-”

His mouth wraps around your clit and he starts sucking in rapid motions, not stopping even as you writhe and squirm with pathetic cries, strong arms immobilizing your thighs.

“Yoongi- Yoongi, please!” you shriek, coming with another wanton wail of his name, gripping his roots, and a low, rough growl licks into your pulsing cunt.

Vision blurring with tears as he continues his assault on your clit, you sob at the threat of overstimulation, pushing at his head until he detaches. He kisses your dripping slit one more time just to have you jolt and curse, and then finally lets you catch your breath.

“You got a condom?” he asks after your blood pressure has simmered down to a somewhat normal level and you can comprehend your own thoughts again.

“Um, no?” you rasp, glancing down to his slick mouth and chin. “I thought you had those on deck.”

“I used my last one.”

“When?” You manage to joke. He glares at you through his bangs, shaking his head, and you don’t do well to hold back a laugh. “Oh. Bummer.”

He sighs, and then dots kisses through your folds before latching onto your clit again. Pumping his long fingers into your cunt this time, he gets a little lazy, but it doesn’t make it any less sensational. You lose count of how many times you come but you’re sweating and dripping and just a mess by the time you pass out.

You wake up on your stomach feeling heavy, but so, so good. Lifting your head, you look around, wondering what year it is. You’re still in the same spot you fell asleep in, but there’s a robe laid over you, covering your lower half. Over your shoulder, Yoongi is back at the table, scrolling through his plugged-in phone, and you silently thank the universe that you weren’t just dreaming him up. Because that would be devastating.

Rolling over, you slowly sit up and shift towards the edge of the bed, legs feeling like jelly before you even put any weight on them. You stand up with the robe and nearly lose your balance.

“You alright?” his gravelly voice carries across the room.

“I think I almost died,” you admit as you walk around the bed, rubbing your eyes. He smirks at his phone, looking a little too proud of himself. “How long was I out?”

“Like an hour?”

“Shit, I’m sorry. That jet lag really got to me.”

“Jet lag, huh?” He frowns and you playfully roll your eyes.

“You can take the credit for knocking me out.”

You walk away from his cocky grin to head for the bathroom.

After doing your business and admiring the subtle marks he left on the inside of your thighs, you realize how exhausted you are. From the plane, from all the events of the day, from your however-many orgasms, and you should be spent, ready to sleep like a rock through the night.

And yet, there’s a hunger gnawing in your chest. A greed in your gut. He gratified you beyond your imagination, and you still haven’t gotten your fill. But he ran out of fucking condoms.

You wrap the robe around your waist as you head back to the table, avoiding his gaze as you squat over your duffle.

Rummaging through it, you know a condom isn’t going to be anywhere in there no matter how badly you want there to be. Damn it. Are you that desperate? For that man, with that devilish tongue and monster in his pants? Hell fuckin’ yeah.

“You looking for something?”

“Oh, uh, I forgot to pack a toothbrush,” you stutter, tucking back a piece of your hair as you rise. “Do you think we can go to the convenience store? It’s only a couple miles away.”

“It’s kinda late.”

“It’s open all night.”

“Fine,” he sighs, standing and taking his used towels to the bathroom, shoulder just barely brushing yours as he passes you.

When both of you are changed, he lingers in the doorway of the bathroom where you’re standing in front of the sink, fixing yourself up in the mirror, and you don’t anticipate him to step in and appear mere inches behind you. You watch him fix his mussed hair, not sparing your reflection a single glance. Without the mirror, you’re not sure if you would’ve even noticed his stealth presence unless he touched you. You can’t even hear him breathing. And it makes you shiver. Just as nervousness sprouts at his proximity, you twist around to make an escape, immediately regretting it when you come face-to-face with his devastatingly handsome face and dark eyes that dart down to your lips. On pure impulse, you reach up to tussle his hair and scurry away as he turns around with a sharp, “Hey!”

Next to the front door, his glare sears into you as you lean down to put on your shoes, laughing when he nudges you so that you lose your balance. You guess you deserve that.

***

He parked his bike near some bushes in front of a stone wall farthest away from the main lot of the hotel, close to the ocean. You can’t help but skip towards it, excited to go on a ride again. When you reach it and glance back to see that he’s still catching up, you impulsively swing your leg over and settle into the leather seat.

“What are you doing?” he asks as he approaches you with a glare. You shoot him a sheepish grin over your shoulder.

“Can I drive?”

“That’s something you ask before you get on the bike.”

“Oh. Well, can I?” With a shake of his head, he sighs and you half-expect him to scold you off, but instead he grabs the helmet resting on the rear seat and holds it out to you.

“Put this on first.” Pressing your warming cheek into your shoulder to hide your shy smile, you reach back and accept it, slipping it on. He looks reluctant as he slides onto the seat behind you and you twist forward, a throb rushing down your spine when his hands slide onto your hips and he adjusts himself to sit pressed lightly against you. He leans forward and you’re encased by him as he sticks the key into the ignition, shows you the switch that will bring the bike to life by tapping it twice, hand returning to your hip once you turn it and the engine rumbles alive loudly, vibrating beneath you.

Revving the handlebars, exhilaration flows into your veins as you look down at all the specs on the dashboard.

“You know how to ride, right?” He mumbles into your ear, sounding skeptical. You smirk.

“Remember what happened the last time you misjudged me?” Before he gets a chance to respond, you grasp his hand and pull it around to your stomach.

“Hold on tight,” you say in the lowest pitched voice you can muster in a poor attempt at imitating him from earlier in the night. He sighs and moves his other arm around your waist, and just as your heart starts to beat out of your chest, you kick back the stand, find your balance on the pedals, and rev the engine before taking off down the road, secretly wishing this road stretched on forever.

His fingers curl into your covered skin, presses his chest into your back and it encourages you to lean forward and go faster. You go a little too fast, but he doesn’t say anything, doesn’t give you any indication that you should slow down. And when you arch your back, the hard length poking your ass tells you that he doesn’t mind the speed at all.

You pull up to the convenience store in under five minutes, the parking lot empty and Yoongi tells you to park it off to the side.

“I think you liked that more than I did,” you say after hopping off the bike. He stays in the seat as you remove the helmet and hold it out, grinning up at him.

“You like it when a girl rides your bike, Min Yoongi?” You lilt teasingly, the biggest shit-eating grin on your face clashing with his fierce glare.

“Go get your shit, you brat,” he grumbles, teeth gritted.

“You’re not coming?” You glance down at the glaring problem in the front of his jeans. “Oh, I guess you need a minute.”

His lip curls and he digs his foot into the pebbled asphalt, making you leap away with a giggle when he kicks a small pile at you.

Walking backwards, you blow him a kiss, laughing your way into the store when he returns it with a middle finger. A smile remains on your face as you start looking around for the toothbrush you lied about not having. At one point you realize that your cheeks hurt from still smiling. Is that the effect he has on you? It’s been a minute since a man, (or anyone, really) has made you smile like this.

Perusing the aisles for some midnight snacks, the doorbell chimes and when the cashier offers a monotone welcome, you perch up on your tiptoes to spot a black beanie making its way to the opposite corner of the store.

As you lean into a fridge for some drinks, he steps up into your periphery, and you take a quick glance, smiling at the bandana that’s wrapped around his face again.

“You want anything?” He shakes his head and you sigh, closing the door and turning around with a hand on your hip.

“Can you not be difficult for once and just pick something? Because I don’t share.”

He steps up to you. “I know you’re not calling me difficult.”

“I am.” You challenge, unintimidated despite being nearly nose to nose. “Get something.”

Keeping his glare on you, he reaches into the fridge and pulls an item out to drop it into the basket. You roll your eyes at the fact that he didn’t even look at it and grab a few more of what he picked, letting the door slam shut.

You pinch the bandana and give it a few gentle tugs, getting right in his face. “Is this what you stuffed in my mouth earlier?”

“Yes. And I’m tempted to do it again.”

“Ooh, kinky.”

“Maybe I just want to shut you up.”

“There’s more than one way to do that.” His dark eyes flash.

“Keep it moving.”

He lingers behind you as you finish shopping, but disappears once you head to the checkout. When he comes up behind you and casually tosses something on the counter next to your snacks waiting to be scanned, your whole face floods with heat as you stare at the box of condoms. A 12-pack. Large. You gulp, and the flush seeps down to your toes. This is what you came for, but a flood of embarrassment streams into you at the thought that he planned the same thing, or he caught onto you. To offset some of the flood, you swipe the box and hold it up to him.

“Don’t you need these in a smaller size?”

His eyes flicker up but he doesn’t look at you. Just turns and walks away, leaving you to fight down a laugh. Glancing back at the cashier, you’re grateful that her face hasn’t changed, even as she rings up the condoms. She could probably care less if you robbed the whole store.

Rushing out to the empty parking lot, you’re met with the loud revving of the Ducati and the sight of Yoongi wearing his helmet, looking over his shoulder at you through the open visor.

“Min Yoongi, don’t you dare leave me here!” you yell, stopping in your tracks when he flips down the visor, throws up a peace sign and zooms onto the street.

Your jaw drops. That. JERK! He can’t be serious. You run out to the end of the lot, looking up and down the empty stretch of road but he’s nowhere in sight, just the descendo of the engine hanging in the air.

The engine grows louder and he zips by you, sitting straight, one hand on the throttle, the other in the air, pointing a finger at you. Is he… laughing? It’s your turn to flip him off and you almost scream his name again when he suddenly pulls a sharp u-turn and heads back your way. You don’t expect it, but you’re incredibly impressed as he starts drifting in wide circles around you, his leg coming down to balance himself as the bike sharply turns, showcasing just how experienced he is and fuck if that isn’t attractive. And he knows exactly what he’s doing. Turning you on. But you pretend to be unbothered, crossing your arms as if this dangerous man on this dangerous bike isn’t looping around you like a vulture honing in on its prey.

“Are you done?” you tilt your head once he skids to a stop a few feet away in front of you, ignoring the ringing in your ears caused by his incessant drifting.

He switches off the engine and leans up, flipping the visor to reveal the top part of his face, arms dropping and crossing.

“Are you?” His dark muffled voice sends a shiver down your spine.

“What?”

“Done making a fool out of me.” Blowing a raspberry, you walk up to him, set the bag behind him with a wide grin.

“I don’t think you need me to do that.” He stares at you over his shoulder for a second before twisting around to grab the handlebars and just as he turns the ignition, your hand halts him by his elbow.

“You’re not gonna leave again.”

“Then get on.”

You watch, mesmerized, as he takes off the helmet and runs fingers through his hair, casually holding it over his shoulder for you to take.

This feels better, sitting behind him, arms around his waist, head between his shoulder blades so you can watch the trees lining the road and spot lights of the street lamps go by in a blur.

Alive. You feel so fucking alive. The danger of riding on this bike, trusting this man with your life once again. Stretching out your arm, you let the wind fly freely through your fingers, helmet blocking your periphery from catching the turn of his head for a few seconds before focusing back on the road.

He parks the bike in the same spot as before and you get off and return the helmet.

“Usually when guys go out of their way to show off like you did, they’re trying to compensate for something. Just letting you know.”

He looks at you with night in his eyes as he steps up in front of you, peering directly into your soul, and the pit of your stomach rolls with heat.

“You know damn well that I don’t have anything to compensate for,” he says slyly, eyes flickering to yours in a way that enthralls you. Oh, this cocky bastard. If only he wasn’t so fucking right.

“Or maybe you need to be reminded.”

“Isn’t that why you got these?” you ask, shaking the bag in his face.

“I also need to restock my wallet.”

You scoff, pointing at yourself. “And I’m the slut?”

He grins and your cheeks heat when he just stares for a moment, then takes off in the direction of the hotel without another word.

As you reach the stairs of the building to your room, he stops and you turn to him looking down to the stretch of neatly tailored lawn sitting across from the buildings, a few tables and chairs with closed umbrellas spread out in front of the stone wall, the dark ocean a pretty view from afar.

“It’s about to rain, so I’m gonna go smoke. I’ll be right back.”

“Can I come?”

“No.” He turns away and your heart cries to go after him, like some clingy, ankle-biting dog.

Stopping after a few steps, he looks back at you pouting and tilts his head.

“Don’t you do what you want anyway?” The dark night can’t hide your bright smile as you bound up to him.

He settles on the table closest to the short-stacked stone wall, wiping off the seat with the end of his sleeve before sitting down and taking out a box of cigarettes and a lighter from his jacket pocket. You want nothing more than to sit in his lap again, and, thankfully, there’s an old spot of something white and dirty on the opposite chair that the rain didn’t wash away.

So without warning, you approach him and ignore his repeated look of confusion as you invite yourself into his lap again with an arm around his neck.

“Um, there’s a chair over there.”

“It has bird shit on it,” you reply simply, adjusting yourself to sit sideways, legs hung over his knees. His arms hover in the air.

“So?”

“Would you sit there?”

“No.”

“Then shut up.”

Disregarding the click of his tongue, you lean over to try and snatch away his cigarette, but he holds it up out of your reach.

“This is my last cigarette and you already owe me one.” You sigh indignantly and lean back against the armrest, gawking as he pats the box against his palm to discharge the final cigarette, crushing the cardboard as he lifts the stick to hang loosely between his lips. He fires it up with an attractive flick of the lighter and cup of his hand around the end, sucking in a drag and letting the stick sit between his teeth as he pockets the empty box and lighter. Smoke filters out of the corner of his mouth as he removes the cigarette with two fingers, blowing the stench to the side, away from you. A string tugs from your heart at the considerate gesture. You redirect your attention to the design on the front of his jacket, grabbing the side to inspect it more closely.

“Is this a tiger?”

“Mhmm.” Is his response, tone disinterested as he flicks ash. Some falls on your thigh and he lightly brushes it away. His touch burns.

“Your favorite animal?” He shakes his head, still doesn’t look at you, blows more smoke away.

“It’s just a design.”

As you watch him smoke, the cigarette slowly withering, he lifts his hips to reach into the back pocket of his jeans, crotch rubbing the back of your knees, making your thighs squeeze together. He multitasks checking his phone and taking a drag, a frown appearing at something he does or doesn’t see on his screen. A thought occurs to you that creates a sinkhole in your chest.

“Are you expecting a call from your girlfriend or something?”

“Why, would that piss you off?” He remarks in a mocking tone, and you start to get up but his arm around your waist and a throaty chuckle traps you in place.

“I wouldn’t have fucked you if I had one. I would’ve still wanted to, but I do have a bit of self control over here.”

“You? A man? Self-control?”

“We’re not all disgusting pigs,” he mutters.

“Well, you’re a rare breed.” Lifting his head mid-drag, his eyebrows raise, a subtle smirk on the corner of his lips.

“So I bet you feel real lucky you met me.”

“Is your- oh wow, look at that,” you pretend to muse, putting your hands up to the side of his head as if measuring it. “Your head’s getting bigger. Not a good look for you.”

With a roll of his eyes, he waves your hands away, unlocks his phone to scroll through his messages that hold no new notifications. Staring at his screen, the desire to have your number and thread on there increases, a lump forming in your throat, unsure if you should cross into that boundary.

“No girlfriend,” he assures you, locking his phone to let it fall face down in his lap. “I’m checking to see if my deposit came through. I’m shit broke until then.”

Your eyes rove over his side profile, going back to that scene in the poker room, how blankly yet confidently he slid all of his chips into the center of the bet, thinking he had the winning hand.

“I could tell you’re a pro at poker, why did you put so much at risk?”

He sighs and looks away, staring across the compound as he takes another drag.

“Because you really sucked at first, and I thought you were just some dumb, overzealous kid who didn’t know what she was doing playing with the big boys like that. But you’re good, Angel. Too good, and I fell for it.”

“You’re the dummy,” your tone is soft, touched by his genuine admission and acknowledgement of your skills. You press a finger into his temple and push a little. He leans away with a small smile.

“I know.”

The ocean is dark and covered in white-caps, brewing in preparation for the storm. Listening to the waves crashing down below, you think back to your musings in the shower.

“Maybe I owe you for stabbing a dude for me.” Wind blows in your direction as he peers at you unsurely.

“I’m no hero.”

You shrug. “I just want to pay you back for going through all of that trouble.”

“Wouldn’t it make me a prick to take your money for something like that?”

“Not if I’m offering it.”

As you wait for him to argue, your phone buzzes in your hoodie and you quickly pull it out, anxiety flashing when ‘biggest bro’ flashes on the call screen.

“Oh, hang on, sorry, my brother’s calling.” You clamber out of his lap and stand, answering when you’re a few feet away.

“Hey,” you say quietly, somewhat relieved to finally hear from Jin. Even though if he knew where you were, he wouldn’t be. “What are you doing calling me on my regular cell?”

“Well, honey, I haven’t heard from you otherwise and oh, I don’t know. Wanted to make sure you’re still alive. Is that okay? How were your summer classes?”

You smile, start pacing in front of the stone wall. “I barely survived, but I made it out. And I’ve made a lot of progress on my project ideas.”

“That’s good to hear, kiddo. Send me some pictures of your designs one of these days. Any other good news you want to tell your big brother?”

“Like what?”

“Hmm. Like are you seeing any booooooys you might want to bring home some day?”

You cringe, a bit spooked by your brother’s 6th sense for knowing everything that goes on in your life. You spare a quick glance to the boy sitting behind you on his phone, turning your back to him just as he looks up at you, and walk a little further away.

“Like you’d approve of them,” you grumble. You’re sure as shit he wouldn’t approve of that man, especially if he found out about your little tryst in a fucking cleaning closet, at an illegal gambling ring no less. What Jin doesn’t know won’t kill him.

“Well, not if they’re jerks!”

“I could bring home a literal prince, and you and bro would interrogate him like he was threatening national security.”

He laughs. “Oh, come on. You know I want you to find someone nice who makes you happy.”

“How can I do that if I move around every eight months?” you ask defensively, that bitterness for your situation enforced onto you by him and your father bubbling to the surface. “I don’t think I’m gonna meet anyone who’d want to be with me like that.”

Silence hangs over the line. “You never know.”

You roll your eyes. He underestimates the kind of men that are around everywhere you go. They barely want to stay the night, much less follow you to the ends of the earth. You feel a prick of wonder if the man whose eyes you can feel on your back would.

“Well, either way, I’m too busy to date. Maybe I’ll have to wait to move back home to settle down,” you rush out, eager to put an end to this topic. “Speaking of which, do you think I can come back to see bro for his birthday?”

You can sense through another bout of Jin’s prolonged silence a big ‘No.’

“It’s not a good idea, honey. Not right now, he’s not doing well.” Jin takes a deep breath. “He almost relapsed.”

Your heart drops and you have to squat to combat the nausea filling your gut.

“That just makes me want to come home even more.”

“He doesn’t want you seeing him like this.”

Your palm lands against your forehead. “So what, am I just never going to get to see either of you again? Like I’m just gonna go the rest of my life living abroad? Do you know how much I hate the idea of that?”

Dead air meets the line again and you stand, suddenly overwhelmed by the notion that he might never let you.

“We’ll talk more about that when you finish with school, I want you to focus on your studies. Don’t worry about your brother, he’ll be alright.”

You do worry. You worry so much about him, sometimes you can’t sleep at night. You almost tell Jin that you’re in Jeju, that you could take a flight home tomorrow and just see them real quick but you have a feeling he would be less than enthusiastic and might turn it into a whole lecture about how irresponsible it is for you to fly back home unannounced. Among other things.

“Whatever.” You peek back to where Yoongi’s staring at his dark screen.

“Hey, don’t be like that, okay? This is just something we-” But you’re over this. There’s no point in arguing with him. He never lets you win.

“Sorry, I’m gonna go now.”

“Honey, I don’t want you to be upset.”

“I’m not,” you lie in a grumble. “I’m kind of with someone, so I should probably get back.”

“Oh?” his tone changes to curiosity. Oops. “Who is this ‘someone’?”

“A friend. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Hmm, alright,” he sounds unconvinced. “Well, be safe, you hear? And don’t let me go this long without hearing from you unless you want me to go gray with worry.”

“Don’t you already dye your hair?”

“Yah, you little punk! I’ll get you back for that one.”

“Sure you will. I’m hanging up now. Love you. Tell bro I love him too and that it wouldn’t hurt to call me once in a while.”

“I will. Love you too, honey. Call me in a couple days.”

“Yes, sir.” He chuckles, says bye, and waits for you to hang up.

Dropping the phone from your ear, you stare at it while contemplating whether or not you should call Jungkook, but turn and head for Yoongi when you doubt he would even pick up.

You sit back down on his lap like it has your name on it. He huffs in annoyance but still wraps his arm around your waist and rests his hand holding the nearly finished cigarette on your knee.

“Does your brother usually call this late?” he queries, voice soft and a touch hesitant.

“Now who’s being nosy?”

“You eavesdropped on me earlier!” You smile, stretching your arm on the back of the chair.

“He thinks I’m still abroad.”

“Are you supposed to be?”

“Mhmm. I was gonna go home and surprise my other brother for his birthday, but turns out that would be a bad idea.”

“Damn, two brothers? That’s gotta be tough.”

“Yeah, they’re both older. And annoying as fuck.”

“So you get it from them.” You can’t argue with that.

“Why’s it a bad idea to go home?” he asks softly after a stretch of quietude, waves crashing in the distant background. Your cheek turns to look at him, mildly bewildered, his eyes flitting between you and the ground.

“Are you trying to get to know me or something?” you deflect. Because that’s not a can of worms you really want to open right now.

“No, just making conversation.” He shrugs, a pout on his lips that mirrors the one that appeared when he told you his name.

“You didn’t want to do that earlier.”

“Fucks’ sake,” he mutters under his breath, ducking his head to lift the cigarette. “It’s easier for you to just call me a fucking jerk.”

“You’re a fucking jerk.” He chuckles while taking a drag, exhaling smoke through his nostrils.

“And I’m trying not to be one right now, okay?”

“Well, don’t wear yourself out.”

“You’re gonna do that for me when we go back in, right?” He cheekily winks, demeanor doing a 180, and you mimic being annoyed but really you’re imagining all the ways you could do just that.

“Y’know, you have a really good libido for such an old man.”

His smirk flips to a scowl and when you laugh at his disdain, he pushes at your waist, a little harder than you think he meant to because you end up slipping off of his lap and onto the ground with a surprised squeal.

“Oh, shit!” he exclaims, reaching down for you as you groan in mild pain from your ass falling on the hard, wet lawn. You glare up at him when he visibly can’t hold back his amusement while he tries to grab your elbows to help you up but you only slap his hands away.

“I didn’t mean to push you.” He’s still laughing when you manage to get up and walk away but he grabs your wrist and you look back to see him throwing down his cigarette, a grin on his face as he doesn’t let you out of his grip.

“Hey, c’mere.”

“No,” you mumble stubbornly.

“Is your ass okay?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“I would.”

“Get lost.”

“No.”

He tugs you close and smirks now that you’re speechless, hands daring to go lower, waiting for you to have a problem, but you don’t, just allow him to glide his large palms to your ass.

“Feels okay to me.” He gives a squeeze and even though heat creeps down into your gut at the lust pooling in his eyes, you put your hands on his chest and push. He steps back with a grin and lunges after you with a hand on your elbow, laughing lowly when you playfully fight him off but he doesn’t let go.

Then a bolt of lightning strikes the atmosphere, freezing you in place, and he steps up next to you, unphased as you wait for the impending clap of thunder. Rain cascades from above and you both look up to the sky, droplets falling on your faces as you stare at the night darkened by the fast moving storm clouds. Your eyes lock and you share a look that reflects something you can’t describe - A boom shakes the world around you, nerves jumping and driving you to take off back towards the hotel, not realizing until you look over your shoulder that Yoongi’s hand is in yours as he runs behind you, a wild smile on his face.

Just as you reach the stairs, you glance down with wide eyes at both of your empty hands.

“I left the bag!” you exclaim, flinching as lightning flashes again. He looks over the distance you just crossed and jogs back over without hesitation or urgency despite the heavy winds.

Hugging yourself as you shiver under the onslaught of stinging rain, you silently beg him to hurry up as he strides back over to overshadow you, staring down with a furrow between his brows and a blink at your lips. Even though you want to interpret the way he’s looking at you through his wet bangs sticking on his face, you want to get the fuck out of the storm but as soon as your foot turns to dart up the stairs, his hand curls around the back of your neck and pulls you forward until you’re up on your toes. Pulse stuttering and eyebrows rising in shock and awe as his mouth collides with yours, you’re rendered still and breathless as he steps up to press your drenched bodies together, kissing you fervently, tipping your head up for a better angle. Storm water pours between you, and you both taste it after his tongue swipes over your bottom lip, droplets rolling down his face and into your mouth and you drink it up along with the taste of him. You don’t know what’s gotten into this man, but whatever it is, you’re living for it. You just wish, in this moment, you weren’t in the middle of a storm having the life kissed out of you.

“We’re gonna catch a cold if we keep making out in the rain,” you murmur, lips still brushing his.

“You can’t get sick just from some rain,” he retorts. You roll your eyes and tip up to kiss him chastely before twisting around to run up the stairs, not looking back as you shakily unlock the door. When his presence emerges behind you, a nervous smile breaks out on your face as you finally turn the key. The sky roars again, forcing out a laugh of adrenaline as you barrel into the door to hastily get inside.

Thank you so much for reading!! This is a terrible place to cut off but I had to split this into another part I'm sorry this chapter is taking a lot out of me and I started a new job so I'm dealing with the adjustment.

prelude part 3 will be out soon so we can move on lol. And it will be mostly smut 😅 and some yoongi pov

Comment or send an ask if you enjoyed reading and/or if you want to be added to the taglist!! (Pls have some indication on your blog that you are an adult or I will not add you!)

Feedback is appreciated - I’d love to know your thoughts!! And i love to yap in general lol

xxx - claret

masterlist

taglist:

@polarnightmyg @mar-lo-pap @wonh0oe @lixies-favorite-cookie @viankiss @futuristicenemychaos @busanbby-jjk @jajabro

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frightenedcricket · 2 days ago

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Folio didn't want to worry anyone, specially you...

But you are quick catching him.

"Hey, is your neck okay?"

As soon as he is off the stage you can see how he keeps pressing his hand to the tattooed side of his neck. Then, instead of turning his head to talk to people, he moves his whole body. He is stiff and sudden moves made him frown. But he doesn't say a thing until you talk to him.

"Yes" He smiles at you, he doesn't want to worry anyone.

"Folio"

With a big sigh he touches it, pinching a point with his fingers.

"I think I slept a bit awkward on the plane. But don't worry"

You do. Your job is worrying about them.

"Nah, doesn't work on me" You smile and he rolls his eyes playfully.

Folio never said anything, but he has a huge crush on you

"I'll bring you something, okay?"

"Hey, no"

But it's too late and he can't really fight you, can he?

You are back with pain killers and some ice.

"No ice please... They will worry"

With a sympathetic smile, you agree.

"Okay"

It's a surprise when you knock at his door later. You are shy and hugging something close to your chest. He looks awfully comfy with his hoodie and shorts.

"Hey, all good?"

"Yes. I have this, it's a pad full of sheeds. It's good for muscular pain, period cramps, when the central heating breaks and you are awefully cold in bed... I thought you could use it for your neck"

He smiles softly. He was trying to sleep but the pain is getting worst.

"I also grabbed some lotion. Australia is weird, they don't have the one I usually get"

"Sweetheart... You didn't have to"

"I do, I want to" You smile. "Plus, you have to tell me what is going on with your neck because we can't have you injured now that we are back"

With a sigh he let's you in. He doesn't mean to scare you or anything, but he takes his hoodie off. You get flustered but then he groans a bit and you remember you are here to help him.

"Does it hurt that much?"

"Yeah"

"I'm not a physio so I'm not giving you a massage, but they said this would soothe the pain and you should use it before the shows to help with the tension"

Nick sits coss-legged while you put the lotion on his neck. The silence is comfortable, you enjoy eachother company. You try to not invade him much but it's hard when he points at the places that hurt. It's the side of his neck and shoulder, but also a bit of his back. His tattoos are awesome and you give yourself a minute to admire them.

"Was it really the plane?" You speak soft and so does he.

"Yes. But it got worst rehearsing yesterday"

"How bad?"

"Uh... It got pretty bad during the show"

"Folio... You have to tell us this stuff."

"I don't want to worry anyone or miss a show."

"You will if this gets worst"

"You are here helping me, it won't" He adds with a cheeky smile.

"Shut up, flirt"

He laughs loudly.

"Thank you, though"

You smile. "Now the bag"

"Can't I just sleep? I'm exhausted and I don't know if I'll be able to keep it in place? I'm falling asleep right know"

You laugh a bit and shake your head. Folio thinks you are unbelievable pretty.

"Five minutes?"

You sit together to watch something on the TV, your excuse is that you don't trust him and have to keep an eye on him. But after five minutes, he is truly falling asleep and the bag keeps falling from his neck.

It's organic, he doest resist and you know exactly what to do, as if you had done this a thousand times before. But you haven't. It's knew and your heart flutters. Your gentle hands pull him close and Nick lays his head on your chest. Your frap your arms around him and he hugs your waist. One of your hands plays with his soft hair, falling everywhere as he has just showered and is not slicked back as usually. Nick sighs when your keep the bag on his tense neck and closes his eyes.

"Don't leave tonight, okay?"

You smile and butterflies explode in your chest. He is warm and close and you like him so much.

"I promise"

#concept #nf #nick folio #Bad omens fic #Nick folio fic

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chishigure · 7 months ago

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#19! (diary meme)

DEAR DIARY

19. entry made featuring pain.

@kowaindar0u

It's been so many decades since the Boshin war and the water of life came to an end. After so many losses and victories from those endless battles, I've become married man with two wonderful sons, and I also became a police officer with Hajime-kun. It's a shame that Kondou-san couldn't be there for my wedding, physically. His life... He didn't deserve to die. If anybody were to die, it should have been me. After all, I was practically already a walking corpse when I had fallen ill from that famous disease that was going around and I had been cursed with it. Eversince my boys have grown, the disease that nearly turned me into a walking corpse me has come back to curse me again. I thought I was cured from it because I haven't shown or had any symptoms of it. I haven't felt sick in so long and neither have I been coughing up blood, feeling weak and all that. But now I'm weak again. I'm getting sick and coughing up blood again. I've become more fatigued than usual. Chizuru-chan would ask me how I've been when I come back from my duties, and I've only told her that my duties as a police officer have been tiring and all I want is to be with her and our children. That's not wrong, but the real answer is that I'm only growing weaker each day because I've become ill with tuberculosis again. That's why I've been awfully fatigued lately. How long ago did I get my diagnosis? How long have I been sick for and went on without treatment? I hate to say it, but about a month ago I visited Doctor Matsumoto without telling anybody what was going on with me. I told him how I've been feeling and what symptoms I've been having, and according to him I've got tuberculosis again. I'm not sure how and he's not even sure how either. Maybe I'm just cursed. I can't show how weak I've become. Not to my family. No one. I have to stay strong for them all. If I die so soon, that would hurt my family gravely. There has to be a cure for this disease. If I had been cured before then I can be cured again, right? I can't live on like this anymore. Chizuru-chan, Yasusada-chan, and Kashuu-chan need me. No one needs me more than they do. I have to stay strong. I can't let them see me getting weaker and weaker.

Though he had much more to write, this is where Souji's entry ends. Whatever else he was trying to write had become illegible and now covered in a bit of the blood he coughed up.

From afar he could hear Yasusada's cheerful voice. Souji tried so hard to keep his own act up that nothing was wrong with him. However his vision was slowly becoming blurred. Despite his vision becoming blurred, Souji quickly but also struggled to close his diary and hide it under his futon.

As soon as he had gotten lucky enough to even be able to hide his diary, his vision had darkened and he fell at the top of his futon.

#kowaindar0u #messages #//pain you say? pain you get! :eyes everywhere:#death mention cw #illness mention cw #sickness mention cw #idk if these tags are necessary but tags anyway just in case LOL

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twpsyn-who · 10 months ago

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Today on "Another JeanMarco Soulmate AU absolutely no one asked for" I present to you -

Soulmate AU in which you stop seeing colors when your soulmate dies, the only exception being your soulmate. Now cue to Jean who just found Marco's, his best friend's, body. And you know, there's the shock of finding out Marco's dead. The pain and confusion and guilt. But there's also the revelation, because despite everything he can still see Marco like nothing took place at all- yes, half of his face is missing and his body is straight up lifeless, but Jean can still make out the color of his eye ; see that light shade of brown perfectly, remember all the times he has found himself looking at them while listening to Marco talk. He can still make out the colors of his uniform, see the same shade of black his hair has always had, practically see. Despite being dead, Marco was the only piece of color left in his life.

And there's denial for a moment because there's no way Marco was his soulmate. But that goes away fast, getting replaced by guilt. By the fact that he hasn't been there to save him, that Marco has to die all alone without anyone being there for him.

And that was worse than the simple fact that he could no longer see colors ; because Marco was there when Jean needed him, but he failed to do the same. And not only he lost his best friend that day, but his other half too.

#Anyway this fucker doesn't tell anyone about the whole soulmate thing. Not of shame of anything but because he's mourning man and also is no #One's business. Anyway the first one to find out is Armin because he notices and ever since he makes sure to mention colors as often as he #can. Like 'These flowers are a nice shade of red' or 'Green suits you well Jean! You should wear this shirt' stuff like that #Jean does appreciates it once he gets over his ego and pain and lets other people get closer to him #Funny enough Jean is the only one in that situation loool. Well I don't know about Reiner and Historia is getting there soon enough but #everyone else??? Colors everywhere man #Is both funny and sad #'Since when..?' Jean expected that question yet he wasn't truly ready to answer it. Deep down he knew he was never going to be ready for it #'Trost' his voice stains sightly while naming the city. His own city. The place he grew up in all his life. The others say nothing else #after that confession. They were all aware many has died during Trost. It wasn't that far fetched for Jean's soulmate to be some civilian #lost during the evacuations or something. But then Connie's eyes widen ever so sightly the realization sitting in. He doesn't even register #when he says 'It was Marco right?' and regrets it immediately. Jean's painful face is all the answer they needed #Also Historia ready the letter and the world losing colors while she's doing that??? Her tearing up a little but not letting herself cry #until she gets alone???? Her going to Jean once that happens and them comforting each other?????#They starts seeing colors again once Eren dies. Poor Jean is trying his best to not have a breakdown because Connie needed him more in that #moment #Reading* wtf my tags make no sens sorry guys I'm lowkey tired #aot #jean kirstein #jeanmarco #aot jean #marco bodt #marco bott #aot marco #jean kirschstein #snk #JeanMarco Soulmate AU #soulmates au #I'm not sad you are

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jackass-jones · 7 months ago

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Night shift or short attention span for the wip thing?

I’ll choose night shift basically Akihiko has this nightmare based on a real memory where he and Shinji got into a very heated fight that dissolved into like, chaos and angry beatings on Akihiko’s part and his nightmare is a warped version where he just keeps punching Shinji in a blind rage until there’s nothing left of him. He wakes up terrified and unsure of what’s happening and Shinji isn’t there BUT ITS OKAY HES FINE he’s just at work I think sadly unfortunately my man has to work a shitty convenience store job to make some money while trying to figure life out and he’s temporarily working night shifts so that’s why he’s gone and Aki does call him at work in the middle of the night for reassurance and asks if that incident really went down the way he remembers it (it didn’t). It’s kinda dark but has a nice ending at least

#ask #idk if ill ever like. finish and post that one hm #but what triggered this idea was like. the pain of a loved one crying and screaming over you but all you can do is sit there unfeeling #akihiko was mad at how removed shinji has become and how he just doesnt seem to care about anything anymore and its very upsetting #and aki gets really emotional and theyre fighting and hes crying and shaking but shinji isnt fighting back hes just letting it happen #hes just lying there and seeing his friend on top of him sobbing doesnt seem to affect him in any way cuz hes so emotionless #and akihiko just gets more mad at that and thats what causes him to freak out cuz why isnt shinji fighting back anymore #and then you know in the nightmare its warped with guilt and fear and ends with aki being so caught up in his reactions #that he doesnt notice how hes hurt shinji and its too late and hes killed him #cuz id say once everything settles down post canon theres a lot of lingering anxiety about everything #aki fears that he pushed too hard and drove shinji away and didnt notice his pain until it was too late #but when he calls shinji to get the real story it obviously isnt how aki remembers cuz he first off didnt kill shinji #what really happened was akihiko was sobbing and kinda just swinging haphazardly everywhere and landed some hits on shinji but not enough to #really fuck him up and it ends with him giving up and laying on top of shinji crying #shinji kinda awkwardly embraces him cuz what else can he do when he still cant feel anything but hates to see his friend upset #so the actual incident wasnt very pretty or happy but they made it out alive and are working things out now #very bittersweet very angsty shinji is so goddamn emotionally repressed i mean they both are actually #also on a lighter note shinji was just like on the phone with his bf during his shift and aki is like wait are you slacking off #and shinji is like bitch you literally called me??? and who cares id like to see these bitches try and fire me 😤#hes behind the register in a stupid uniform while horrible music plays theres like one customer there #theyre making direct eye contact the entire phone call

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thatdemiboymess · 8 months ago

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Both my computers have given up on life and I am so sad and so very bored. Couldn't even do my full Gaia dailies, today. 😞

#fae irl #i tried to get the laptop to work at least but nope #itll run kali but wont run windows and while i do have kali on it i dont actually have the login stuff for it #my partner put kali on there ages ago when i first got it to see if hed like to use it and then couldnt uninstall it or whatever #its been a pain in my ass ever since cause when the laptop first boots up i only have a few seconds to tap down to the windows system befor #kali boots up by default which we also do not know how to change #and now it taunts me oh so viciously #because i dont know the login for it and its the only operating system my laptop is willing to run now #windows is claiming i have a hard drive issue on the laptop so refuses to run #spent like 5 hours doing everything i could to get it to work today with no luck #and we still dont know what exactly is wrong with my desktop either #.....im really just feeling like theres no reason for me to bother even waking up anymore asdfghjkll--#my entire life is confined to inside this apartment man #to the point my partners mom apparently looked him in the eyes and straight up told him #that my lifestyle is going to lead to early onset alzheimers lolol #(<- this is not funny at all im just lolol-ing because i dont know how else to cope with that)#its not even like i really want to live like this either man...but like??? what else is there???#im disabled and live on a big ass hill with no sidewalks and i have no money and every free space is a parking lot and you can get arrested #for loitering everywhere you go and theres nothing to do at what one park there is here if it even really counts as a park #industrial hellscape #and im not really allowed outside by myself and even if i were at this point id be too scared to go out on my own...like...its been 5 years #...i havent been outside by myself in like 5 or 6 years now man...#and i have no friends either #im lonely and scared and bored and depressed tbh #oh well #at least i have tumblr where i can just say stuff into the void #even if it just gets lost out there

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orangerafe · 14 days ago

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reader teasing older!rafe about being old, so he fucks the attitude out of you.

cw; smut, rough sex, slapping, choking if it even counts, degrading names

the whole day you had been teasing rafe, throwing soft insults at him about being so old, even going as far as mentioning your faux surprise that he was even able to ‘get it up.’ rafe tried to stay calm, knowing that it was in your nature to tease and fuck around with him. but when you did mention him ‘getting it up,’ he was infuriated

that was how you found yourself in this situation. your ass was in the air, head dug into your now makeup ruined sheets. rafes large hand was holding you by the back of your neck, keeping you shoved down into the sheets. he was furious, thrusting into you at an inhumane pace

your legs were kicking, trying to protest against his roughness bur rafe of course didn’t care, and instead went even harder. the room was full of lewd noises, your pornographic moans, his foul words and the disgusting sound of your ass plaping against his pelvis. he leaned down, breath hot against your ear. “this’s what you get for being such a bitch, you asked for it ar’ight? stop your fucking whining.” whispered with such roughness, it made you clench around him

you were wailing into the pillows, the sound barely muffled you were that loud. you knew your pathetic attempts of trying to get him to slow down wouldn’t work, but you being so stubborn, you didn’t stop. your brain was frazzled, hair in the exact same state since you two had been going at it for a while now. “look at you, clenching ‘round me like a slut.” he laughed, the sound coming from deep in his chest

he wouldn’t say it, but he loved the fact you got off on him being so rough, because he did too. he obsessed over the way your pussy would clench around him with each degrading word he’d throw at you, and he loved how you only moaned louder when he got rougher. his hand traveled from your hip to the globe of your ass, placing a hard smack to it that made you jolt forward and let out a squeal

rafe laughed again, finding your reactions amusing. “squealing like a goddamn pig.” he grunted, hand now soothing the flesh before placing another hard smack to your rear. you moaned loudly, the stinging pain making a familiar cord tighten up in your tummy. rafe felt it too, in the way your pussy clenched and the way your noises got more frequent

“gonna cum f’me baby? gonna cum on this old man’s cock?” he cooed, squeezing your ass harshly. you nodded into the pillows, letting out an urgent moan as his other hand traveled down to rub on your abused and puffy clit, giving it much needed attention. “cmon, be a good girl and cum.” he rumbled out. he loved it when you came, he seen it like a reward for making you feel so good

he felt you get tighter around him, and he went even harder now trying to chase his own orgasm. “you talk a whole lotta shit, telling me i’m so old yet your cumming on this cock everyday of the week.” he grunted into your ear, burying his forehead into your neck. your eyes rolled to the back of your head, manicured toes curling as an earth shattering orgasm washed over you

your head spun, wave after wave of pleasure crashing down on you as rafe kept pounding. you got so tight, and rafe couldn’t help but groan. “shit, this pussy’s so fuckin tight.” he growled, leaning back up and placing his hands on your hips, gripping them harshly as he now started to chase his own orgasm. he went even faster if that was possible, nails leaving small cuts at how hard he was gripping your fleshy hips

you squealed at the overstimulation, as well as rafes words. rafes hips slammed against yours, and before either of you knew it he was cumming deep into your womb, seed leaking everywhere. “shittt” he groaned, pace starting to shudder. you moaned at the feeling of his cum spurting into you, and at the noises he made

he keeled over on top of you, panting onto the crevice of your neck. he stayed put for a few seconds before pulling out, sitting up and letting you fall flat onto the bed. he laughed as he watched you slump, hair all messy and sheets covered in your mascara. “ain’t so mouthy now huh?” he said, a smug grin appearing on his face

you were delirious, unable to fully comprehend his words never mind what was going on. rafe moved you over a little, laying down beside you before pulling the sheets over the both of you. “this right here is why i fuck you, your mouth stays fuckin shut for once in your life” he whispered before placing a kiss to your head then turning over and shutting his eyes, leaving you in an absolute heap beside him

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jinwoosbabyboo · 1 month ago

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𝙲𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚙 𝚂𝚒𝚖𝚞𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚘𝚛

LADS Men and a cramp simulator. This is how I imagine they would handle it.

A/N: I’ve gotten many requests for a cramp simulator so this is for those who wanna torture their man hehe

𝚉𝚊𝚢𝚗𝚎

[Before]

Of course he is berating you with questions. Where did you get this? why do you want him to do this? Will this have long lasting effects?

Believes you when you say your cramps are bad so he’s having a hard time understanding why you want to cause him immense pain

Agrees anyway because he will always do whatever you want him to do

[During]

This would be one of the rare moments you see Zayne break his calm cool and collected composure

“Are you sure you’re not having a heart attack every month?” He’s leaning on any surface he can find long after you’ve taken the simulator off of him

I imagine he has a high pain tolerance, but this was too much “You can turn it off now” you turn it up. “My love please turn it off” red in the face sweating and hands are shaking

[After]

You gave him your heating pad to help with the lingering pain “I was unaware of what you were dealing with every month”

Prepare to be pampered every time you get your period now; he's stocking up all your feminine products, tea, heating pads, painkillers, and your favorite foods and snacks

Monitors your heart closely during the week because he's worried you might have a heart attack

Brings up the option of medical grade painkillers, but immediately changes his mind because he doesn’t want you getting addicted

“Next time you start you period just take the week off” insists you stay home and let him take care of you, bringing you tea and rubbing your stomach

𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚕

[Before]

Overconfident to start — he can sense when you’re not feeling well, but can’t sense your cramp pain he just knows you’re not okay

Believes you when you say your cramps are bad, but "there’s no way they’re that bad" he has a high pain tolerance so “this will be a piece of cake turn it up”

[During]

Trying to hide the grimace on his face when he feels the first ‘cramp’ “Keep going?” “Yea this is nothing” he’s already sweating

Screaming, whining, crying and damn near throwing up “I’m dying there’s no way im not dying I see the light” “You’re not dying” “YES I AM”

“This is what you go through? No wonder you’re so mean” “I was being nice this is what I actually feel” you turn it up and he throws himself on the floor “I’M SORRY I’M SORRY TURN IT OFF PLEASE” gasping for air as he rolls around

[After]

Leaves you little snacks and gifts outside the door whenever you get your period now

Has never asked “Is it really that bad?” again because he knows the answer now; gets pains just thinking about it

Had to go lay down and take a nap after you took the simulator off of him.

Stocks up on heating pads and rubs your stomach and back religiously now

𝚇𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚎𝚛

[Before]

Isn’t nervous, but also isn't excited “I’m ready”

Is only doing this because you promised him hotpot afterwards

“You’re no stranger to pain” “Im not a masochist” “Debatable”

[During]

The pain was so bad that it pissed him off “This is complete bullshit” “I’m not interested in continuing this turn it off please”

When you turn it up so show him what you actually experience he’s kneeling at your feet begging you to turn it off “My Star please I understand please end this”

Accidentally grips whatever is near him so hard he breaks it

sweating, red in the face with tears in his eyes

[After]

Nurse Xavier now

Whenever you get your period he’s making you lay down and take it easy all week.

Is helping you in and out of bed

Leaves either a tampon or fresh underwear with a pad already lined in it on the counter for you when you get out of the shower

Loves these weeks now because he can nap with you as much as he wants

Carries you everywhere “Xav I promise I can walk” “With cramps as horrendous as those? You really are superwoman”

𝚂𝚢𝚕𝚞𝚜

[Before]

Nonchalant as always has almost a bored expression

“I still feel pain Princess, but I'll indulge you”

You tell him to sit down, but he opts to stand

"You shot and stabbed me before I can handle this" "I scratched you" "You stabbed me clear through the chest" "What?" "What."

[During]

Panting and red in the face does his best to try and handle the pain

Breathing heavily and doubled over leaning against the nearest surface he can find

“Okay okay thats enough” brought him to knees once again “I thought you could handle pain?” “That does not mean I enjoy it”

Has to sit down for a while completely still like a statue after that

[After]

Already pampered you during your periods, but he’s upped it now

Literally tracks your cycle and makes sure he’s always nearby incase it comes early

Wants you to stay with him the entire time “I need to go to work Sylus” “No you don’t you need to rest”

Makes a nesting bed for you and is at your beckoned call

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dark-raven-666 · 2 months ago

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Mr chopped x reader + sfw & nsfw headcanons.

He survives and has a body.

A/N: this is my first time writing nsfw so please bare with me. It's SFW until marked.!!

♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡♡´･ᴗ･`♡

@vixxine

Art belongs to: reddeong_ on X/ Twitter

As soon as your eyes met his,he whispered to you. "I only wanted you to be happy".

Running to his side you hold him in your arms and help him stand up. Mr. Silvair who was next to you, helped the two of you to a room where he was put it rest.

Mr. Silvair injects him with a small dosage of some kind of medicine that makes him calm down.

Hours pass and his eyes remain closed. You sitting in a chair by his bed. Your head on the bed and hand holding his.

By the time he woke up, you had fallen asleep. He looks around the room only for his eyes to settle on you.

With a quiet sigh, he holds your hand tighter, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

At his touch your eyes flutter open, molting up your arms wrap around him as you sob. " my love... Oh my dear... I thought I had lost you for good.. " you cry out quietly... His gaze softens and he wraps his arms around you. He felt so warm... His skin.. His body was cold... But the warmth came from within... It's like you could feel his love.

His hand caresses your cheek with a look that says he has yearned to do that for eternity. You mean into his palm and hold it with your hands.

As your eyes meet his once more, you can almost feel his anguish... The pain he had endured..

How he had yearned to touch you, to wrap his arms around you, to be worthy of you.

His eyes closing turn to the ceiling and tears stream down... His hand now shaking he let's out one sob and buries himself in your chest in a speed you had never seen him move in.

HCS.

SFW

Loves to have you in his arms.

Feels insecure at times but you're always quick to bury those away with your touch, kisses and loving words.

Full body cuddles are a must. Now that he can wrap up around you like a koala he won't stop doing it.

Allows you to brush his hair and braid it, but NOT cut it.

Now that he can stand up he wants to go everywhere, visit every part of the world, feel, touch everything.

Now that he has this precious body he will not waste it.

Has gotten into your skin care and will continue to.

He got a bruise? It's the end of the world!

Yes he's still his dramatic self.

NSFW 🤫

Very sensitive, what is this odd feeling?

I'm not even going to lie and feed your delusions, barely lasts 2-3 minutes the first like 20 times. It's all just so new.

You know how I said he wants to adventure? Yes with this too. He wants to feel his body and your body.

Sees a bit of side boob and is immediately hard and stroking himself.

Loves the feeling of his fist but boyyy Foss he love your mouth more.

Will not hesitate to get on his knees and whine for your mouth on him.

#homicipher mr chopped #mr chopped x reader #mr chopped head #homicipher fanfiction #homicipher x reader #homicipher x you #homicipher x mc #homicipher #homicipher mr silvair

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pedroscurls · 4 months ago

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in every lifetime

summary: you lost logan in this universe. logan lost you in his. what happens when you both see each other again, but realize that you're both from different worlds? pairing: logan howlett x fem!reader warnings: post deadpool & wolverine ("worst" logan!variant), angst (mentions of death, loss from both reader and logan), no use of y/n. word count: 2.1k a/n: this is my first logan fic, so if anything is ooc, i'm sorry in advanced! just like everyone else, i've been obsessed with hugh jackman / logan after watching deadpool & wolverine (if it isn't obvious lol)... i had the song 'unchained melody' in mind when writing this story because whenever i hear it, i think of logan for some reason lol (tried to embed it but it didn't work, but i'd highly recommend listening to the song while reading this!) anyway, hope you enjoy! next part.

“I’ll be back.”

“But what if–”

“I always come back, bub.” Logan’s looking down at you, hand cupping your cheek. In moments like this, you can see the age in his features. The crows feet at the corners of his eyes. The gray in his hair and beard.

“Logan…” Tears sting your eyes. You know he has to leave, has to go help Charles, but there’s a feeling deep in your gut that knows that if he goes, he isn't coming back.

“Wait for me, then.” He says, dipping down to gently peck your lips. “Okay? Wait for me.”

“Logan,” you repeat. “What do I do if I– if I lose you?”

There’s a feeling in the pit of Logan’s stomach, a sense of dread and fear that he’s only ever felt when you were concerned. This feels a lot like a goodbye… That maybe if he does go, he won’t come back. And the thought alone scares him. He never used to have to think about the possibility of dying, his regenerative powers always healing him in record time, but he knows that he doesn’t heal as quickly as before. He feels more pain now than he ever had. And he knows he’s sick, knows that the adamantium that once gave him strength is now slowly making him weaker.

But now, the thought of dying… It fucking scared him. It scared him to think that he’d leave you here, all alone, grieving him. He had never thought he’d be deserving of someone like you, to be loved and taken care of so gently, so sweetly, so patiently. Even with all of the baggage he carried, you never pushed. He knew, right off the bat, that you deserved someone so much better than him, but you stayed.

Through it all, you stayed.

And Logan would forever be grateful. After everything he’s been through, the things he’s seen, the things he had to do, the people he’s lost, you gave him a life that was finally worth living.

“Then, you move on, darlin’.” Logan finally answers.

“And if I can’t?”

“You’ll have to.”

“I don’t… I don’t want you to go, but I know that you have to. Charles needs you and–”

“I love you with every fiber of my being, baby,” Logan interjects. “And I will love you in every lifetime.”

And that was almost a year ago. The moment he stopped calling, you knew that was it. That he either got into some real trouble or… Or that he was no longer here. It wasn’t until a young girl named Laura showed up on your doorstep, holding his dog tags that your assumptions were correct.

You had fallen to your knees, a sob escaping your lips, as you felt your world come crashing down. Logan’s death had left a gaping hole in your heart, in your life, and everywhere you looked and everywhere you went, all you could see was him.

You learned from Laura that during his last moments, he had told her to come and find you, that you would take care of her and give her a good life. Whenever you were around her, you tried to be strong, tried to put on a brave front, but behind closed doors, you were a complete mess. There were days where you didn’t want to get out of bed, didn’t want to eat; you just wanted the pain to stop. Every night, whenever you closed your eyes, you forced yourself to sleep because that was the only place where you could be with him.

In your dreams, he was alive.

In your dreams, he had made it back home.

In your dreams, he was here with you, helping raise Laura.

And every time you woke up, you were welcomed with the sudden reality that he wasn’t alive. He wasn’t coming back home. He wasn’t ever going to be here with you to help raise Laura.

Logan was dead and now, you had to try and learn how to move on.

For yourself.

For Laura.

For Logan.

—

He didn’t know what he was doing here, why he agreed to stay with Wade because it was driving him crazy. This wasn’t even his timeline; he wasn’t even meant to be here. Despite saving Wade’s timeline, Logan still found it hard to fit in. He tried to keep Wade and every single one of his friends at an arm's distance because he knows what happens to people he cares about.

But the more time he spent around them, the more he felt at ease. Logan would be lying if he said he was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but when Laura mentioned your name at one of Wade’s family dinners, his heart skipped a beat. When he realized he would be able to stay in this timeline, you were all he could think about.

Logan wondered if you existed in this world and what he would do if you did. So, when Laura casually said your name, his head turned around so quickly that he felt dizzy. There were so many things he regretted in his own timeline, but you were his biggest regret.

Just like he failed the other X-men, Logan had failed you too. You had been there with the other X-men, trying to warn them of a planned attack and ended up getting caught in the crossfire. You had called out for him, just like Scott, like Charles, like Storm.

He managed to get to you before you had taken your last breath, holding you in his arms. Logan begged and begged for you to fight, that he’d do things right from now on as long as you just held on, but you were losing so much blood and Logan couldn’t stop it.

Even then, when you had every right to be angry with him, you gazed up at him with an understanding look on your face. You had always been so patient and kind, so sweet and considerate. You had made him so happy and it scared him, which ultimately ended in pushing you away because he didn’t think he was deserving of it. Of you.

“I love you, Logan,” you had said, wincing at the pain.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m–” Logan felt a sob catch in his throat, tears stinging his eyes as he looked down at you. “Please, baby, please please please, don’t–”

“I–” you coughed, eyes fluttering as you felt the pain overcome your entire body. “I will love you in every lifetime, Logan.” And then, you took your last breath, eyes falling shut and body falling limp in his arms.

Since then, Logan drank himself day after day, from dawn to dusk. The alcohol never truly helped, his regenerative powers sobering him so fast, but with every swig of liquor, it burned. And he spent years bringing pain unto others, including himself.

That was, until he met Wade who had given him a chance, a reason to fight for something… To not turn his back on someone who relied on him. A chance for redemption, to finally make things right.

“So, will you meet her?” Laura asks, holding Dogpool in her arms as she gazes up at Logan. “She– She used to be with this universe’s Logan and…”

“No chance, kid.” Logan interrupts, shaking his head. “I’m not him.”

“Did you have someone like her in yours?” she asks. “She’s always put me first, always made sure I was taken care of even when she didn’t have to, when she was grieving. And I think–” Laura sighs. “I think if she knows that some version of you is alive, it would make her real happy.”

“I’m not him,” Logan growls, feeling his irritation spike. “‘Sides, she’s better off without me.” He stands from the table and walks out into Wade’s balcony to get some fresh air, shutting the door behind him as he leans against the railing.

“But she’s coming tonight,” Laura finally says, long after Logan’s walked away.

Throughout the rest of the dinner, Logan remains outside. He can hear the muffled laughter coming from inside and it only angered him because it was just another confirmation that he didn’t belong here. He’s already on his fourth bottle of beer when he hears a familiar voice, smells a recognizable scent. He turns slightly and catches you stepping into Wade’s apartment, an arm slinging over Laura’s shoulders so casually, so maternally.

He feels his heart rate pick up. Your smile still lights up a room and he can’t help but his lips turning upwards at the sight. With his enhanced hearing, Logan can hear your voice and he shuts his eyes for a moment, tuning all of his attention on you until you’re the only one he hears.

Then, he hears your laugh and he lets out a sigh. He never thought he’d be able to hear that again, but his eyes shoot open when he hears you say his name. There’s a shocked tone in your voice, laced with sadness and hope. It all but crushes him because he knows that you’re probably expecting someone else, expecting this world’s Logan and he doesn’t want to disappoint you. Not again. He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle it if he were to hurt you again.

But when he looks at you, his breath catches in his throat when your eyes meet his. Logan notices the surprise look on your face, but before he could try and escape, you’re already walking towards him. When you open the door and step out with him, your scent fills his senses and it makes him dizzy, like he can’t fully concentrate.

“You…” he hears you say, voice unsteady. “You’re not… I’m–” you sigh and shake your head.

“I know who you are,” Logan finally says, his own voice shaky.

Your hands reach out for him, but stopping halfway when you realize this isn’t your Logan. This is not the same man who died all those years ago. This is some version of him – much younger, less wrinkles and gray hairs in his hair and beard, but he still has that same look on his face. The scowl.

“From Laura?” you ask hesitantly.

“From my universe,” Logan answers.

“There– There’s a version of me in your universe?”

“There was.”

“And what happened to me?”

Logan’s jaw tightens. “The same thing that happened to your Logan in this universe.”

“Oh.” Your face drops, eyes softening. “I’m sorry,” you whisper.

Logan wants to run far from here, far from you because he feels himself yearning for more. He almost forgot how it felt like to be near you, to be inches away that he can just reach out and pull you into his arms. Your eyes captivate him, the kindness it expresses makes him feel like he matters. You had always made him feel that way that even through all of his anger, through all of the walls he put up, you showed him that he was deserving of something good. Even if he didn’t believe it himself.

And you… You were the best thing to ever happen to him.

“Don’t know why you’re apologizin’,” Logan mutters.

There’s an uncomfortable silence that engulfs the both of you. He can see the tears threatening to spill over, can see the way your lower lip is beginning to tremble and he has this sudden urge to console you, to wipe away the tears that have now fallen down your cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, bringing your hands up to wipe away the tears that seem to be trickling down your face nonstop. “I just– Losing my Logan just crushed me and I don’t think I’ve ever recovered.”

My Logan.

Logan can practically feel his heart beating in his chest. This isn’t a conversation that he thought he would be having and certainly not with someone he loved and died because of him.

“That’s okay,” Logan responds quietly, his tone softening. “I don’t think it’s easy to recover from losing someone you love.”

“Did you– Did you love me in your universe?”

Logan nods slowly, tightening his jaw as he gazes down at you. “With every fiber of my being.”

Your eyes widen and stare up at him. This might be a different Logan, but hearing those words again just brings you back to the moment you last saw your Logan before he left to go take care of Charles.

“Did you love me in yours?” Logan asks hesitantly.

You nod instantly, tears trickling down your cheek as you stare up at him. “I’d love you in every lifetime.”

Logan feels his own set of tears pool at the corners of his eyes and he moves a hand to rest on the railing, fingers lightly brushing against yours as he stares into your eyes.

“I’m not him,” he whispers.

“I know,” you say quietly. “And I’m not her.”

#hugh jackman wolverine #hugh jackman character #logan howlett #wolverine #worst wolverine #deadpool & wolverine #logan howlett fanfic #logan howlett fanfiction #wolverine fanfic #wolverine fanfiction #worst wolverine fanfic #worst wolverine fanfiction #logan howlett x reader #logan howlett x fem!reader #post deadpool & wolverine #worst logan!variant #hugh jackman #logan howlett x f!reader

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s0dium · 8 months ago

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Fucking a curse

Choso x F!Reader

A/n: This is part of my 'Sex' event and collab with other writers!! Please check out the other amazing works here

Synopsis: Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine a curse like Choso could give you the best orgasm of your life Warnings: Rough sex, intense orgasm

~ For a curse, Choso was strangely incredibly attractive. At least that was your first impression of him. His long black stringy hair, tied into two high ponytails that jutted upward and outward, and his small dark purple tired eyes, framed by slightly thin eyebrows, yes, from the moment you laid eyes on him you were smitten. But for someone so breathtaking, Choso's reserved nature served as a stark opposite to his striking appearance. He was fairly quiet, rarely speaking, and often seemed content to observe rather than participate. For a while, he barely seemed to acknowledge you outside of your relationship with Yuji and your crush on him looked painfully one-sided. As a curse, it was easy to assume that he didn't care about you, that your presence was just another detail in his world of silence and observation. it was only natural that you would assume he wanted nothing, or rather, knew, nothing about intimacy. So how... how did you get in this situation? "Hngh...." you whine. Everything was hot, too hot. You dizzily look up, breath catching as you see Choso face hovering above you. His dark brown hair clings to his sweat-dampened skin and his eyes gaze down upon you with such raw dirty need that you feel your stomach twist into knots and your pulse quicken.

You are about to say something, something about how hot you are when suddenly you feel Choso's cock head harshly plunge deep into your entrance, the tip pressing against a part of you that you could only dream about reaching with your fingers. The pleasure of the sudden intrusion is striking, numbing, and borderline painful. It makes you reel unconsciously reel back to escape the foreign feeling, but a large strong hand splays itself over your stomach, not only stopping you but applying delicious pressure above where his dick sat deeply in you. "Can't stay still can you?" Choso's voice comes out breathless, a failed attempt to mask how entirely aroused he is right now. He picks up the pace and leans down until his lips are against the nape of your neck. You whine when you feel soft kisses peppered all over your skin, a shockingly tender yet bold exploration; each nibble and kiss perfectly attuned to your responses, drawing you deeper into a state of blissful surrender. Your cunt flutters and clenches instinctively, sending even more bolts of hot ticklish pleasure to your core. You are too lost in the pleasure to notice that Choso had placed his hand under one of your thighs, lifting the leg until it's pressed against your chest. The new position allows him to go deeper, which you didn't even know was possible at this point.

"Ah- God, you feel like heaven Y/N" Choso groans and throws his head back. You could almost cum just by looking at Choso because god he looks almost ethereal as he thrusts into you. His pale skin glistens with sweat, each muscle in his abdomen tightening rhythmically with every thrust. His lips part slightly, revealing shallow, hurried breaths. The subtle bobbing of his Adam's apple accompanies each pant, his eyes tightly shut, lost in the throes of pleasure.

"I wannaaaa...." You can't even say the last word because you're afraid it might ruin how fucking euphoric you feel right now. If there was a heaven, being fucked by Choso was it. What was even happening right now? Where were you? You feel so much, you feel everything, everywhere, all in this moment, but your mind and your mouth have never been taught to name this sensation.

"Please, Jesus, please y/n do it." Hes almost whining at this point.

"Choso I'm-" You are not even able to finish the sentence because you are already climaxing on his dick. Choso's ministrations don't cease, in fact he speeds up, making the insanely euphoric wave of pleasure crash down on you even harder. Your mind is blank, your thighs are shaking and your back arches of the bed as Choso fucks you through the most pleasurable feeling you have ever experienced.

"Stay with me baby, we are not done yet."

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen smut #choso x reader #choso smut #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #choso kamo #jjk choso #jujutsu kaisen choso

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lizardho · 14 days ago

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Being at BYU after my mission was weird. Like. Bad weird. Everybody was still acting like missionaries but they had nobody to teach so it all turned into the holier-than-thou bs that missions always degenerate into over time. Just the forced establishment of some weird social hierarchy where value is based on how devout you are, with people digging and scratching and clawing their way around humanity in order to become even more devout.

And this bullshit was actively killing me. The attempts to stay Good Enough were scraping the remnants of my humanity out of my husk like a spoon scraping the last bits of watermelon from a rind - I was doing what I had always done, be Mormon, do what Mormons do, be as good a Mormon as I could be, only it was breaking me. Instead of healing me, making me whole, taking away my burdens, it was pulling the life out of me in exchange for nothing. I was just being squeezed dry of everything I had to offer and being given back shame and isolation and rejection because I didn’t do it first, or fast enough, or with a willing enough heart, or whatever the hell they could come up with.

But despite myself, because most people smarter than me AND dumber than me would have left already, I found myself trying over and over and over again to make it work with no success.

One day, I snap. I’ve had enough. I need answers. I’ve looked everywhere and done everything I could by myself, and nothing had come of it, so I went to talk to a faculty member. A teacher at the school. He taught religion classes and his lessons were powerfully and inspiringly honest, earnest, and filled with raw humanity. I figured if I could get a straight (ha) answer from anyone, it would be that guy. He wasn’t involved in the Mormon rat race. He wasn’t playing the stupid “I’m Worthier Than You” games that were so pernicious on campus. He was being real and open and vulnerable and I needed that from someone.

So I go into his office and I lay my cards on the table. I figure if I’m gonna get helped, I need to be honest. I share with him my weird feelings about dad leaving the church on my mission. About my siblings leaving the church. About my own doubts and hurts. I tell him about how hard it is to be in limbo like this without knowing what to do or where to turn. I tell him I need answers.

And he listens. And then he starts with the usual Mormon apologetics bullshit. And I say “no” because I’m done with that. That doesn’t fly with me anymore. And he sees and hears me say no and he puts a hand on mine, makes direct eye contact, and says,

“You know, you don’t have to go to church, right?”

I, being a person who was hurting, interpreted that as “if you have questions that I can’t answer you should fuck off.” I got defensive immediately and he again listened, put his hand on mine, and said,

“Not what I meant. You can stay if you want, but I want you to know you can leave too. Take a break. Give yourself time to heal. This isn’t supposed to hurt this much, and if it hurts you can take a break and come back when it feels good.”

I’m actually getting choked up just writing that out. Nobody had ever said that to me before. When I talked about my dysphoria to my parents, they said teenagers are supposed to feel like that a little bit. When I talked to people about my difficulties at church they had always told me that it was a sign that church was working. That I was doing it right. That growth was supposed to hurt, that excising the Natural Man from me was supposed to be difficult, that I was supposed to be feeling this anxious and sad and scared. I had never ever ever been told that pain and suffering were signs things were going wrong. I had actually explicitly been told by many many many many many many many many people that it was good, that the hurt and the heartache and the constant feeling of never being good enough and never being able to fit into my own skin or love myself in any meaningful way was desirable. That it was something they envied.

It’s not supposed to hurt. Some things can, and should. My parents were right that some body concerns were normal (although we later found out my specific concerns were more abnormal lmao, I got that tgirl swag). My family and friends were right that challenging myself with difficult assignments and ambitious goals was supposed to feel uncomfortable.

And at the same time, THIS was not supposed to hurt. I was not meant to have this gaping throbbing aching hole in my Me that never let up. It wasn’t supposed to hurt. IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HURT.

I don’t know when exactly I started crying, but I was crying the whole rest of the day. It was the first time in a while I had to actually take a Valium to clam down. It wasn’t supposed to hurt.

He also told me that if it ever stopped hurting I could always come back.

I think that was the day I really left. Others might say otherwise, I still tried to make it work for a few more months after that, but the idea that it wasn’t supposed to hurt really changed me.

If any of you are reading this - there are things that are supposed to be difficult. Things that are supposed to hurt. But if your faith or your beliefs about the world or yourself leave you feeling like you’ve been hollowed out at a minor mistake or setback, if your failures and setbacks leave you feeling raw and numb frequently, if the company you keep or the places you stay leave you feeling constantly inadequate with out hope or help, then I’ll tell you the same thing that professor told me:

You can go somewhere else. You can do something else. And you can always come back when you want.

But it’s not supposed to hurt.

#tgirl swag #mormon #ex mormon #exmormon #trans stuff #trans pride #gay #hurt #religious trauma #conditions of worth #good enough

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kamiversee · 1 month ago

Text

˗ˏˋ My Love Note ´ˎ˗

12 | and I know

❧ Synopsis | In which Choso Kamo, your asshole of a best friend, starts to change after you get involved with a rather cheeky cashier, Gojo Satoru.

❧ Content | language, semi-public sex, creampie, cockwarming, dirty talk, filth, praise, fluff, comfort(?), slight exhibitionism, etc.

❧ Word Count | 5.5k

❧ Pairings | Choso Kamo x f!reader & Gojo Satoru x f!reader.

| Chapters mlist |

——“Uhuh, thaaat’s it. Ride that fuckin’ cock. Jus’ like that.” Gojo’s grunting out to you within the next few minutes. You knew he was a talker but fuck, it really does get significantly worse every time you engage in these sexual acts with him. “What’s my name? Say it again f’me, pretty. Sounds s’good on your tongue.”

He is so stupidly talkative that it's almost painful, mainly because you’re trying to maintain the constant bounce on his long cock. That leaked, blushing pink tip of his is just French kissing the sweetest depths of your cunt and you’re left ridiculously addicted.

“S-Satoru… hnngh-, fuck,” You babble in between the thick stretches of Gojo’s cock slotting into your greedy cunt perfectly. His dick is so mean against your soddened walls that you swear you’re cockdrunk after only the first few minutes of riding him. Not to mention the way he’s talking to you is doing wonders at making your mind go blank.

With his head all relaxed back against the seating of the car, his darkened blue eyes overly enthralled by the gorgeous display of your body over him, and his hands helping you fuck yourself on him just right—Gojo’s in heaven just as much as you are right now. “Pussy’s so fuckin’ perfect for me, shiiit.” He sleazes, moving his hands back to relax along the expanse of his car’s seating.

All he wants to do is just sit there and watch you for a bit. His eyes are everywhere on you though, dazed by each jump of your tits, the way his shaft disappears inside you over and over as you cry out his name, and the way your face dazes over in the most slutty expression he’s ever seen from you.

“Y’know how long I’ve been-, fuck… wantin’ to see you like this?” Gojo hums as he moves one hand. He can only ever keep his touch off of you for so long before that urge consumes him again. That hand of his falls on your hip and he guides you through the next roll against him, “Y’look so fuckin pretty ridin’ this cock. Like it was made f’you, ughh fuck.”

Your brows meet in pleasure and a breathy moan of his name starks past your lips. His groans are by far one of the sexiest sounds you’ve ever heard. Each one ripples out from deep within his chest, bottom lip having this slight quiver to it each time he releases that sinful sound and his abs visibly tensing up at every clamp your pussy makes around him.

The moonlight from outside was the only thing illuminating Gojo’s sweat-slicked body as you rode him in earnest. The windows of his car had slightly fogged within the few minutes you’ve been having sex in this position and anyone who walks by for even a fraction of a second would know what was going on in there without a doubt.

Part of the reasoning behind that being the grunts and groans from Gojo accompanied by the delicate moans of his name pouring from your mouth, and the other reason being the slight bounce of the vehicle. It’s a faint movement, sure. But anyone could gather what was taking place behind those foggy-tinted windows of Gojo’s car.

The man’s gaze soon focuses on your tits and he’s stuck in a small trance watching the consistent recoil of them as you move. So stuck that he involuntarily leans forward and wraps his fingers around your waist for a second, then his lips are cupping your right perked bud into his mouth and he’s latched onto you like a damn slug.

With an eager suck and a muffled groan, you feel that slick tongue of his whirl around your nipple—flicking it in between his teeth for a second before pulling away slightly just to spit on it. “Pretty body like this deserves worship,” Gojo rasps hotly into your skin before taking you back into his mouth. Then his eyes flick upward and he catches the way you’re whining for him.

“Satoru,” You whisper, one of your hands losing its fingers into the tangled mess of his white hair as you hold him in place. Then your hips are rutting against his in more jerky movements and you can feel his cock slap so sloppily against your syrupy clenched walls.

He angles his head a bit more so you can watch him suckle your nipple against his tongue lewdly. Humming a lazy, “Mmh?” In response to your small cry of his name. “Y’like that?”

You just nod and intimacy glosses over both of your eyes. “Uhuh, f-feels good,” You stammer, feeling him groan messily at your words.

Gojo flashes a lopsided smile before lulling his tongue out, allowing you to get the raw sight of the muscle swirling around your perked bud languidly. “Mmh, good. S’all I wanna do,” He slurs into you as one of his hands slides down along your body languidly until his thumb approaches your clit and he gives you this mean and abrupt swirl.

A gasp emits from your throat and Gojo’s smile only grows more wildly obsessed. The expression on your face, the sudden tightening of your walls around his aching cock, the changed pitch in your breathing—oh fuck, it’s intoxicating. Gojo’s thumbing at your clit faster than he realizes without second thought, infatuated by how insane he’s driving you right now.

You quickly shoot a hand down to his wrist and hunch forward, your forehead falling to his shoulder as your hips come to a jerky halt. Your lips remain parted and your legs feel like they’re turning into unmoving mush. “W-Wait,” You choke out, feeling his thumb swat left and then press. “Fuck, Satoru—“

Before you can even finish moaning his name, you’re making a filthy mess around him and your body is twitching ever so slightly.

Smiling wider, Gojo’s lips press against your ear and his voice dips into that deeply soft aroused pitch, “There she is,” He praises ever so sweetly while caressing your clit with his thumb softly and relishing in every tense grasp and spasm of your cunt.

He remains gentle with you for a little while longer, letting your high die off and being careful not to drive you straight into overstimulation. You’re busy panting heavily against his shoulder and your hips have unconsciously lifted so he’s not even fully inside you anymore.

Gojo lets off a hum and glides his hands over to hold onto those hips of yours, his touch tender. “You can give me another one, right?” He requests into your ear whilst feeling your body up again.

Your hands move to hold onto his wrists and it takes your mind a second to come almost all the way down from your high. Batting your lashes, you lean up from his shoulder and meet his eyes with a surprisingly eager nod. “Mhm,” You hum, guiding his hands downwards to remain glued to your hips, “M’not… done with you yet, ‘Toru.”

There’s an angry twitch of his cock felt inside you but what really gets you going is the crazed way in which his smile shifts, practical hearts fluttering through his gaze in reaction to your words. The confidence you had so suddenly despite the way you were just clinging onto him desperately has the man in a frenzy. “Oh?” Gojo muses, slouching back again. “Well, shit. M’all yours, sweets. Give this cowboy a nice ride, yeah?”

Rolling your eyes at his never-ending corniness, your hands leave his wrists and graze over his chest as you give him a brief feel. Gojo shudders beneath that small touch of yours, his brows just barely tensing while his eyes flick back and forth between you caressing him and your focused expression. Then, in an instant, your eyes meet his and you have this nerve to smirk.

The man doesn’t even get a chance to gather what’s about to take place before you’re retracting your touch from his anxious body and placing your hand atop the cowgirl hat you’ve got on—having remembered what kinda costume you were wearing and the way you hadn’t stripped yourself of the get-up completely. And oh, are you the most perfect woman Gojo thinks he’s ever laid his eyes on because when you tip your hat back a bit, cock your head to the side a little, and roll your hips forward perfectly, he realizes he’s about to get a slight show from you.

Damn the way your eyes stay on his too ‘cause now he can’t hide the way his eyes flicker as you grind against him sensually. Back and forth ‘n back and forth. The rhythmic rock of your body against his was driving him insane. Gojo’s jaw falls faster than he realizes at the very second that his cock delves deep inside you. Then he makes the mistake of looking down at the connection and oh god…

“Fuuck me,” Gojo pants thickly, “F-Fuck me, baby. Shit, d-don’t—oh fuck,” He sputters out, spotting that sexy bulge of his cock imprinted against your skin. He was so deep, stuffing you nice ‘n full.

You move a hand to his chin and his breath leaves his throat entirely in a faint gasp as you force his head up. Now he’s met with your face again and shit, he’s so weak. “Eyes on me, ‘Toru. C’mon,” You direct gently.

Lifting languidly, you watch him choke out moans with each time your pussy sloshes down on him, engulfing his dick in your warmth and sucking him in perfectly. Gojo doesn’t even remember what he was mad about before this. Hell, what’d you guys even come out here to his car for? Surely it wasn’t this… this is…

“Satoru,” You call you, breaking him from his daze. Then you lean forward and your thumb swipes against his bottom lip, “You’re drooling…”

At that point, he doesn’t even try to suppress the whine that leaves his throat. It’s loud and clear all for you—striking against your ears in this desperate pitch that makes your cunt throb wildly.

Your hands steadily snake around his neck and you pull yourself close to him, chest to chest, and breaths mingling with one another again. His eyes can’t leave yours now, not when you’re this close, and not when you’re gazing at him so intimately. Your pace picks up again and Gojo’s losing his everloving mind at each and every swivel and swirl of your hips. So nasty with these sloppy squelches echoing against the expanse of his car.

Now nonverbal, the vehicle feels ten times hotter than it was before. You’re so close to him that he fears for the possibility of you hearing that thrumming heart of his against his ribcage. Gojo’s nervous.

Or… He was until his plump cockhead thwacks against this spongey spot inside you and your entire body reacts with a quick lift of your hips.

It’s then that his mind seems to start working again—his hands gripping onto your skin tighter than before, “Nonono, don’t run from it, lemme feel her ‘real good,” Gojo rasps out heavily, his glassy eyes glistening over as you ease yourself back down nice and slow so that his cock can hit that spot again. “Mhm, riiide this dick, sweetheart. There you go, keep that pretty pussy on me—fuuck..”

He’s right where you need him and he knows it by your twitching expression. You’re losing your composure all over again and the confidence you had moments ago is fading into orgasmic bliss. “S-, aah… Satoru,” You gasp lightly, the words hardly leaving your throat while you try lifting yourself again to escape for a moment.

Gojo shakes his head. “That’s it, ‘Toru’s gotcha’. Hold onto me,” He instructs, still maintaining that honeyed eye contact as he feels your arms begin to lock around his neck.

He leans back even more, your body angling along with him. Then, Gojo places his large hands on the purchase of your ass, spreading your cheeks apart and lifting your cunt almost all the way off of his cock slowly. Once only the tip is left kissing your pussy, you get half a second to catch your breath before he pushes you right back down on him even slower than before. Lazily letting his thick cock spread your drooling pussy open all over again.

“So fuckin’ wet,” He grunts, using his grip on your ass to slick your cunt up and down his dick messily.

It’s slow at first but with the next whine of his name you let out, Gojo gives your ass a harsh slap before keeping you in place and then thrusting his hips upward.

Your jaw falls and you start drooling, “Fuck, ah.. mnh, S-Satoru, fuck me,” Your words are just spilling out of your mouth as Gojo drowns his cock up into that filthy cavern of yours, tip gushing at the wet gurgles leaving your cunt whilst he bottoms out.

His balls smack heavy against your ass with how hard he fucking himself up into you. Eventually, he finds his mouth hanging open and his eyes rolling all the way back once he gets a nice pace going for himself. “Right here, huh?” Gojo huffs mid-thrust, just barely prodding against that sensitive spot of yours for a bit before hitting it directly and watching your eyes go wide ‘n then fall back. “Yeahh, that’s the spot, isn’t it?”

You’re clinging onto him all over again, your nails scratching over the upper skin of his back as words fail to form in your mouth. The only thing leaving your throat was wet moans before Gojo smiled again and then pressed his lips to yours.

It’s a filthy, drool-induced kiss but neither of you seems to care. Wet smacks from all over ricochet throughout his vehicle as the two of you get entirely lost in one another. From the constant thick stretch of his cock to the needy way in which his hands explored your body, you’d found yourself forgetting how you got to this point with him as well. Gojo’s hands smoothed along your tensed skin each time he guided you down on him, his lips locked with yours eagerly in contrast as he did so.

And then you weren’t fairing much better—running your nails all throughout his hair, along his shoulder and back, scraping at his skin, and hissing into his mouth when he hit too deep. Most of his vehicle was fogged with the air of sex by this point, safe for the windshield which wasn’t as fogged since it’s all the way in the front but it’s not like anyone would be looking or watching the two of you.

After all, it was dark where Gojo had his car parked so neither of you had a care in the world. Not only that but, as said before, a person would be able to tell what was taking place inside that vehicle anyway. It’d dip down and then spring back up in a rhythmic fashion that only meant one thing…

Given that, you were far too caught up in fucking Gojo to the brink of insanity that the last thought to cross your mind was the possibility of someone walking by the car and seeing what happened. Or, more specifically, someone you know walking by and spotting the two of you.

The world probably has something against this man because it’s really just his luck that when he decides to break away from the party to get some fresh air and go on a small walk, it’s Gojo’s car he’s passing by. Now, he spotted the bouncing of the vehicle long before approaching it but he had no idea whose vehicle it was and it’s not like that was his first time acknowledging some horny couple going at it in the car.

What told Choso that it was Gojo’s vehicle was the all too familiar muffled sound of your moaning along with the faintly blurred sight of your costume top. Of course Gojo has decent tint on his windows, y’know, all except for the windshield which has a lighter tint on it… That, and the fact that Choso found himself staring too hard so it wasn’t hard for him to spot you.

Tripping over his own feet as he realizes it’s you, the man stumbles forward to quickly pass the car with a loud clearing of his throat.

And the cherry on top? The fact that the sound that leaves his throat hits your ears from inside.

Your lips messily detach from Gojo’s and both of you are panting as you turn your head to glance over to your left, watching as someone’s silhouette passes by the car rather quickly. “Shit, Satoru,” You call out breathlessly as your eyes follow the outline of someone distancing themself from the vehicle as fast as they could. Hell, it looked like they were running away.

Gojo grunts, “Huh? What’s wrong, why’d you stop?”

You look back down at the man in all his unkempt glory, watching a small bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face. He was such an unfairly pretty man. “I think someone saw us,” You hush out to him before snatching your gaze away from his attentive blue eyes and glancing elsewhere in search of any other people who may be passing by.

The man beneath you releases an airy chuckle, “Oh, that’s what you’re worried about? Now?” Gojo teases. He can’t help but find it funny how you worry about the possible chance of getting caught while he’s damn near balls deep inside you.

“Yes, ‘now’, I think I just saw someone walk by,” You tell him.

It’s silly that you’re concerning yourself with this even though no one should be able to tell who’s doing what in his car from the outside. Gojo shakes his head softly, trying not to completely dismiss your concern as his hands slide down to the underside of your thighs. His thumbs caress your skin and he leans up a bit just to angle his head into the crook of your neck.

“So? I doubt they know or care what we’re up to in here,” He assures you, “But, hey,” Gojo leans his head over so that you can look at him again and when you do, he flashes you a small comforting smile, “Would it really be so bad if someone did see us?”

You let off a huff, “Yes!”

He laughs, “Why?”

“Because…” Okay, truth be told, you could care less if someone saw the two of you. If you were truly worried, you would’ve never gotten yourself into this position (literally) in the first place. So, when he asks you why, you’re not really sure of what to say. “I just–”

“Are you worried about someone seeing you? Is that it?” Gojo asks. As those words leave him, you feel his hands grip onto your thighs a bit tighter. “‘Cause that’s an easy fix, sweets.”

You hadn’t realized how spacious Gojo’s car was until he was flipping you over and having you lay back against the seats of the vehicle. For a small moment, his cock slips out of you while the two of you get repositioned and before you have much time to register everything, he’s on top of you and folding your legs up against your chest.

Grinning down at you now, Gojo tips his head to the side, “Is this better for you? Now if someone looks and sees anything, all they’ll see is me.”

You bat your damp lashes up at him for a moment before nodding. “Y-Yeah, this is fine…”

“Unless you wanted to stop completely?” He goes on to suggest, searching the look in your eyes carefully for a second only to watch the way you quickly shake your head.

Moving to grab a light hold onto his arm, you sigh, “Nono, this is fine. We can uhm… We can keep going.”

Gojo lets out a relieved sigh and then looks down, angling his hips and parting your legs further just so he can nudge his cock back inside you. With the first careful thrust, you’re moaning and he’s groaning already as if he wasn’t just inside you a few seconds ago.

Then he leans down to you and fuck if he wasn’t deep before then he damn sure is now with the way he presses his weight down against you and rolls his hips in.

You gasp sharply and let out a curse beneath your breath, the small sound enough to have Gojo falling right back into that addictive state of need. He drags his hips back tentatively before fucking himself into you at this perfect pace that has your mind forgetting all about the worry you’d harbored mere moments ago.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

Meanwhile, now back at your shared apartment was a rather… hopeless Choso Kamo.

He doesn’t think he’s ever left a party that fast before. Sure, the thing in the kitchen had been one thing but that? Oh, his poor heart just couldn’t take it. And neither could his cock, apparently.

Yeah, by the time he makes it home, he’s slamming doors and snatching his clothes off, irritated by the mere fact that he just had to be the one person to have spotted you and Gojo having sex. What makes it so humorous is that he’s also the only person who was able to tell that was you in that car with him, anyone else would’ve just minded their business or not have been able to tell it was you.

But, y’know, when you’ve been friends with someone for over eight years and have been through all kinds of shit with them, it’s only fair for you to be able to recognize them by their blurred back profile inside a car at wee hours into the night… right?

Fuck. All Choso wanted to do was go on a walk and now he’s back home, pissed off, and… stupidly erect.

It’s shameful the effect you have on him, truly. He shouldn’t even relieve himself of his arousal right now honestly. Choso doesn’t even know why he’s in this state. His mind is annoyed but his body is on some other type of vibe entirely. It only takes one or two replays of your body bouncing up and down in a way that’s far too familiar for the man to find his hand wrapped around his dick.

“Fuck,” Choso sighs tiredly. He couldn’t even make it to his room either, spread out right on the couch in the living room, tossing his head back, thinking about you all over again, and driving himself crazy.

It’s a brief and very lazy jerk-off sesh, one that has the poor guy feeling shameful the moment he cums at the thought of you giving him that usual glare of yours.

He’s screwed, and not in the way he’d prefer right now.

So fuckin’ screwed.

· ───────── · ꨄ · ───────── ·

In the midst of that, you’re busy on cloud nine as you’re getting fucked through your nth orgasm of the night. You didn’t know it was possible for you to be folded up and stuffed so dumb in such a short amount of time and yet there you were.

You’d lost count of how many times you’d cried out Gojo’s name tonight along with how many times you cum around his weighty cock. By this point, your legs were wrapped around his waist, arms around his neck, and he’s mid-orgasm—stuffing you overly full and causing his cum to spill out from your puffy overstimulated cunt.

Gojo’s right in your ear again, huffing and puffing while choking out your name and babbling something about how perfect you are. His dick is inside you twitching and throbbing so aggressively with each spurt of cum that leaves him.

This was probably his second or third time finishing inside you for the night. His car will definitely need a deep clean after this but he could care less about that right now.

“F-Fuck,” He whispers to you, his hands carrying this slight tremble as he holds onto you. “Shit, I think I lo–,” He chokes on his own words, struggling not to let his high cause him to say something insane. “I’m losin’ my mind.. Sorry, ignore me…” He ends up mumbling before hiding his face in your neck out of embarrassment.

You laugh, just barely, “S’okay…”

Aside from the heavy breathing and occasional shift of bodies, tranquility now settled into the car. For quite a while, Gojo just lays on top of you, listening to your rapid pulse calm down as the two of you take your time in catching your breaths.

Even when you both get your breathing in check, neither of you makes any attempts to move. The not-so-distant sound of the party still going on is oddly comforting paired with the warmth of Gojo’s weight on top of you. You end up running your hands through his hair soothingly and you’re sure the two of you would’ve fallen asleep just like this if not for the fact that you were laid up in the car together.

Eventually, Gojo’s the first to speak up. “This is nice y’know,” He whispers. His voice is so soft and yet hoarse at the same time. It makes your heart do that weird flipping thing again.

A scoff escapes your nose, “Yeah, we should do this more often…” You utter jokingly.

You then feel his smile quirk against your skin. “Do what? Ditch parties to fuck in my car?” He taunts breathily.

Rolling your eyes at him, this time not of pleasure, “Not exactly, no. I think I was talking about this—the cuddling…” You say to clarify as your fingers come to a halt between his hair.

“Ohhhh,” Gojo hums, lifting his head slightly, “Y-Yeah, of course, I knew that!” He laughs, slightly nervous. “But, yeah. We should do this more often. You smell good.”

“Do I?” You ask, lips twitching into a soft smile.

Gojo buried his head right back into the crook of your neck, inhaling dramatically before exhaling heavily. “Mhmmm,” He mumbles, nuzzling into your warmth. “And you’re sooo warm… everywhere.”

It’s then that you realize he’s yet to pull out of you, softened cock resting so snuggly inside the depths of your cunt, and the mess between the two of you yet to be cleaned. There was surely a ring of filth down in between your sandwiched bodies but aside from that, you were too content in the moment to bat a single eye at it.

Your hands drift down to Gojo’s neck, thumbs grazing his jawline and signaling him to lift. To which Gojo’s head raises on que and his eyes steadily flit to yours. You don’t even have to ask for what you want because Gojo’s sighing and gradually pushing his lips onto yours.

The connection is smooth like silk, almost as if Gojo’s lips rightfully belong against yours. They then part and it’s practically loving the way your tongues intertwine in a sweet symphony as a mutual hum leaves your throats. Lust is nearly forgotten for a moment and your heart is fluttering as he shifts against you—fingertips dancing up and down your body tenderly just as he pries away from your mouth to suckle your lower lip into his mouth.

His eyes crack open only to watch the way your lip falls back into place as he releases it, a sigh falling from him and landing right against your wettened skin.

Gojo’s pupils dilate for a moment and his breath hitches within his throat. He’s not sure what came over him but… “God, you’re so fuckin’ perfect.” He breathes out without a second thought.

Catching you entirely off guard, your face flushes at the sudden compliment. “Thank you,” You end up fumbling out delicately. Then your hands carry over to his face and your palms meet his cheeks, “So are you, ‘Toru.”

This is way too damn intimate for two people who have ‘no feelings’ for one another, isn’t it? Questions aside, you find your thumbs slipping against the skin below his eyes, and you grinning before you even realize it.

“Handsome too,” You utter, visibly catching him off guard.

Gojo’s lips part again and this time there’s this deep throb in his chest. His whole expression softens beyond belief and whatever confident facade he’d been putting on, cracks before your very eyes. “Oh,” He suspires in pure awe, “Warn me before you just…” His words trail and his face comes down a bit, forehead meeting yours at rest, “…Compliment me like that. But, thank you.”

The two of you shut your eyes for a while longer to let this moment truly sink in. It’s almost like you were high on something—everything felt… like bliss.

You weren’t complaining or anything but fuck this was weird. You didn’t feel this after you slept with Choso. Maybe your best friend had a point, maybe you do have deeper feelings for Gojo than you realized. And hey, you know you had a crush on the guy but damn, do all crushes feel like this??

If liking Gojo makes you feel like you’re high then you don’t think you ever wanna come down. And to top that off, you’re pretty sure he feels the same. Or, he’s feeling the same thing you are right now, anyway.

You’re too scared to ask that though, it’d probably ruin the moment entirely. Especially if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings and this whole thing turns out to be some weird post-orgasm thing…

All that completely aside, you definitely want more. Unlike your time spent with Choso, you don’t regret or feel guilt at all right now. You’d repeat the day you’ve had over and over again if it meant Gojo would be in your arms like this by the end of it.

Your grin stretches into a smile and you unexpectedly chuckle at yourself, causing Gojo to open his eyes and look at you. “What?” He hushes out in a curious tone.

You shake your head, “Nothing, I just… It’s like you said, this is nice.”

He lets out this small grumble before moving to kiss your cheek. “I warned you I’m a clingy drunk…”

This time you giggle, “Oh please, you sobered up a while ago.”

You got him there… “Whatever, that’s still what brought us to this point,” He huffs off.

“It’s okay to admit you’re a clingy person in general.” As you say that, Gojo grimaces at the truth behind such a statement. He was hoping he’d go a little while longer without you realizing.

But, since you’ve caught him red-handed, he’s got no choice other than to shrug and accept defeat. “Fine, fine. I’m a bit of a clingy person. But… That doesn’t bother you, does it?” He asks with a faint tilt of his head.

Now you lean up and peck his lips, whispering a glacé, “Not at all.”

Again, this is really fuckin’ intimate for two people who have ‘no feelings’ for one another—this being a thought shared subconsciously between the both of you as he snickers and you smile.

Breaking all that sappy shit for a moment, you end up yawning almost obnoxiously. Which leads Gojo to a laugh. “You tired?” He asks.

“Clearly,” You reply in between another yawn.

“Want me to drop you off at your place or…” Hesitating, Gojo has to trail his gaze elsewhere to finish the rest of his statement. “Or uhm, do you wanna spend the night at my place?”

You’re taken by slight surprise by his sudden offer and although you’re fatigued, your eyes light up a little. “Your place sounds fun.”

“Yeah?” He beams, leaning up from you slowly.

The last thing he received from you was a sleepy nod of your head. After which, Gojo rushed around his car to get the two of you all cleaned up and somewhat decent. He’d tried to get you to put some of your clothes back on but you complained about it being too tight and ended up wearing nothing but the hoodie you’d worn earlier that day before you’d gone costume shopping.

After that, it didn’t take long for you to find yourself deep in your slumber while seated in the passenger seat & Gojo was quick to get everything else situated.

Just before he pulled off, he’d given your resting expression a long stare and his mouth moved to say something but even he was unsure of what. Once his senses returned to him, he redirected his focus onto getting the two of you to his home safely.

It’d be your first time spending the night there so he was admittedly a little nervous. But, what really struck his heart was how much you trusted him. He’d make note to value that from you, deeply.

That day was something to remember.

mlist | last chapter | next chapter |

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