#//mostly because i had to add some john boy guest muse

[willow-salix]

Fluffember prompt: Rose

Day 11 of Isolation on Tracy Island 2.0 and I would like you all to know that, while Virgil was very nice to write my update for me yesterday, he’s also a complete liar. I did not fall asleep on the couch, I was watching the movie the whole time…

Anyway we all got up late today, since we didn’t get to bed until late and even then it hadn’t been easy to get to sleep. I’d woken up a few times but a quick look at the clock to estimate the amount of time I’d actually been asleep, coupled with a warm John to snuggle meant that I gave in to the lure of oblivion twice before I actually got up.

I felt like death, which was strange, because usually caffeine has little to no effect on me, I can only assume that the added stress of Alan hopped up on coffee beans was the catalyst to my zombie-like state. 

Alan, it transpired, was going through an even worse caffeine hangover than I was, at least I had a little resistance. He was groaning from his bedroom complaining of a headache and full body shivers. 

So yes, we were certainly feeling delicate and, even though I desperately wanted a coffee to wake me up enough to function I knew that it would probably be a bad idea. So there I was, sipping on a hot chocolate (I delivered one to Allie too), munching slowly on a corner of my toast and just hoping that the world would stop spinning today when Grandma came in.

“What are you planning on doing today?” she asked, not bothering to offer a greeting, no good morning, no hello, nothing. I glanced over at Scott who shrugged and sipped his tea ( he was avoiding coffee too, Virgil wasn’t but it takes a LOT to put that boy off his brown nectar).

“No plans,” I was forced to admit. I saw Scott shake his head sadly, like I’d just doomed myself. I obviously wasn’t on top of things today, my brain is mush.

“Good, then you can help me with some chores.” 

I resisted the urge to groan, looking over at the big bros for support…

“Huh, where did they go?” Grandma asked me.

“Unfortunately, I don’t know,” I sighed, gulping my cocoa and wishing it was something stronger and possibly alcoholic.

“Then I guess we’ll have to work twice as hard!”

 “Yes, Grandma.”

                    ***

“John,” I whispered into my comm as I hid in a corner of the library.

“Yes?” he popped up in his hologram form, not looking at me straight away, clearly distracted by whatever he was working on.

“I have a question.”

He turned to look at me. I saw him pause, his eyes darting around, taking in my surroundings.

“I have a question too, why are you hiding behind a curtain? Where even is that?”

“Library,” I settled back against the wall. Perched on the windowsill I was indeed hiding behind a curtain. “Grandma gave me a chore list.”

“Ah,” he said, not needing to add anything else, that said it all really. “You had a question?”

“Oh, yeah, I did.”

“What was it?”

“Oh, she's made me do three loads of laundry, I’ve dusted her ornaments, cleaned the two bathrooms, which is all I'm doing by the way, I’m not touching the ensuites, they’re on their own with them.”

“A wise decision,” he agreed, crossing his arms, leaning back on nothing, suspended in midair, showing he was in the comms sphere, clearly sensing that this would be a long story. There’s no rushing me when I’m trying to explain things, you just have to accept that you're along for the ride.

“I’ve helped her change the bedding in the guest rooms, why I have literally no clue, since no one can come and visit anyway and this is a secret base and it’s not like we do a lot of tours or anything…” I trailed off, seeing the raised eyebrow of doom on my boy. “What else did we do…” I mused, trying to think and hurry my thought process along. “Cleaned all the old food out of the fridge, vacuumed the lounge and now I’m here.”

“And why are you in there? Apart from hiding from more chores, obviously?”

“Because I needed to ask you what was going on.”

Was that an eye roll? I’m pretty sure it was. 

“Going on with what? You’re the one that was filling me in on your day.”

“What’s with the Grandma?”

“Grandma?”

“Yes, Grandma. I’ve been going from room to room, ticking things off her chore list but…”

“But what?”

“Babe, I hate to ask this, but is Grandma going a little…” I couldn’t say it out loud so I settled for the universal sign that is a finger twirl to the side of my head.

“Explain.”

“Babe, I don't usually question the wiseness of Grandma's logic but this time…well...she's got me watering plastic plants,” I whispered, making a conscious effort not to shout as I usually would. News like this needed to be delivered in a delicate way, a supportive, understanding way. No one wanted to hear proof that their, let’s face it slightly elderly, grandmother was going a little cuckoo in her golden years.

I watched him carefully, it wouldn’t do to be upsetting him when he was so far away 22,400 miles away to be exact, and I couldn't be with him, but to my surprise his face registered nothing but relief with a hint of...amusement? OK, maybe a hint was being generous. 

“Dude, are you laughing at me?”

“No, love.”

“Lies! You’re laughing right now!”

“I’m laughing with you, not at you,” he promised, sobering slightly.

“Laughing with me implies that I should be laughing too, so either share the joke with the rest of the class or bugger off.” I was not impressed and fast losing patience with the love of my life.

“Sorry, sorry,” he coughed, clearing his throat in an effort to regain his composure.

I waited, arms crossed in a mirror of his earlier pose, lips slightly pursed, eyes narrowed, he sooo knew he was in trouble.

“Let me tell you a little story,” he began, finally calm enough to talk to me properly.

“Go on then, I’m listening.”

“Grandma has always loved her plants, she used to garden a lot,” he started and as usual when he spoke, I listened, one because I needed to know what was going on and two, because I just love his voice and would happily listen to him reading a menu if he so chose. I wiggled a little to get comfier and prepared to be entertained, because every story John tells is entertaining in its own way, mostly because he just sounds so fed up and done with life as he tells it. 

“She said that she found it relaxing to tend them, it gave her time to think and to order her thoughts. She would talk to them like they were her children and no one dared touch them.”

I nodded to show I was following so far.

“When we moved to the island and got busier with International Rescue it obviously started taking up a lot of time for all of us,” he reclined himself back into his lazy float giving me a nice view I must say (I’m sure he did it on purpose).

“The busier we got, the less time she had to devote to them, the more we did the more she forgot about them and it wasn’t long before the first one died. She came down one morning and noticed that it’s leaves were dried out and brown and it was slumped over in its pot. She tried, we all did, but there was no reviving it.” His tone was so serious that I couldn’t help but giggle.

“Grandma was really sad, so we decided to help if we could. Unfortunately, as it turned out, none of us have a particularly green thumb. We did our best, but failed spectacularly. As we always say, you can’t save everyone, and that isn't limited to humans.”

I nodded encouragingly, wishing I had a mug to sip from 'cause my boy was spilling the tea!

"When we noticed another was, as Gordon put it, on its way out, we stepped in before it happened and fixed it."

"You fixed it? Like it was a broken processor or something? How do you fix a dying plant?" 

He stayed quiet. 

"John?" I lifted an eyebrow demandingly. 

"We switched it out for a plastic one," he finally admitted. 

"John!" I was shocked, shocked at their sneakiness and the sheer balls of pulling off such a move right under her nose. 

"I know, I know, it was awful of us. But we couldn't think of anything else to do. She was so sad every time she lost one and we couldn't stand it."

"How many times did you do this? Because I have yet to find a real live one."

"I think you just answered your own question."

"All of them? Like every single one?" 

"Well, not all of them, the bonsai in the lounge is still alive, but that's mostly Kayo and Virgil that tend it. Kayo learnt from her dad, he loved to garden. And the outside plants usually do OK. We have timed watering for then with both underground pipework and an overhead sprinkler system. And Kayo will do a little maintenance on them, cutting them back and the like, whenever she has time which isn't often. We don't really get weeds here as the seeds have nowhere to carry from, so it's just upkeep of the plants themselves."

 "But every houseplant other than the bonsai…"

"All fake," he confirmed. 

"And you never told her? She didn't notice?" 

"No, not that we know of, the fact that she gave you the job of watering them confirms that. We just kept offering to look after them for her and she let us do it. We bought the best quality we could, they look very realistic." He said that last like it made the whole thing more OK. "We did it for her, we didn't want her upset."

"Well, I honestly don't know what to think about all that," I confessed. And I really didn't, they were such sneaky little sods when they wanted to be, dangerous when working together. Sure they did it with the best of intentions and for the right reasons but still I did need to know one thing… 

"Whose idea was it?" 

"Idea?" he repeated, clearly deflecting. 

"Yes, who thought up the idea of swapping them?" I knew the answer, he knew that I knew, I just needed him to confirm it. 

Slowly he lifted his hand. 

"Yep, not surprised. Totally called it," I grinned. 

"Then why did you ask?" 

"Because sometimes I need to remind myself what a deliciously devious man you are." 

"You're a strange woman."

"A strange woman that your dumb ass married," I reminded him. 

"We all have our weak moments," he quipped but I didn't take it seriously. "I should probably get back to work, just hide out there for another few minutes and call the job done."

I nodded, seeing the sense in his words. "How long will you be?" 

"Just another few hours, I should be done by dinner."

"OK, but I'm holding you to that, Space Man." 

"Wouldn't expect anything less."

I blew him a little kiss which he dutifully pretended to catch, with much eye rolling, before he clicked off, cutting the connection. 

Sighing , still unable to believe what I'd just heard I drew back the curtain I was sheltering behind and dropped down from the windowsill. I grabbed my phone, tucking it into my pocket as I turned round. 

"Grandma!" 

There she was, waiting for me like a silent septuagenarian ninja, arms folded, one foot tapping out an annoyed rhythm. 

"Hi," I greeted, taking an unconscious step backwards. Would she notice if I threw myself out of the window like a weak willed victorian maid whose husband hadn't returned from the war? 

She glared at me. Yep, she'd notice alright. 

"Done with the chores?" she asked in a voice that told me she already knew the answer. As far as I could tell I had three choices, lie through my teeth, tell her the truth or deflect like my name was John Tracy and I was late home. 

"Well, there was a lot on the list…"

"Oh knock it off," she huffed. "I heard everything."

I slumped, there was no deflecting this.

"I'm very disappointed in you, young lady."

"I know, I'm sorry, I-" 

"I can't believe you let yourself get dragged into one of their idiot schemes. I expected better of you."

"I'm sorry, I know I let you down."

"Too right you did, I've been waiting the best part of five years for them to tell me the truth, I had hoped you'd call them out on it but they ended up with another conspirator. Perfect."

"I said I was sorry, I- wait, you knew?" 

Grandma rolled her eyes in a move that was so very John. "Of course I knew, how stupid do you think I am?" 

I sighed in relief that I wouldn't have to pull off this charade any longer, hell, I'd only been involved for five minutes and it felt like a year. "I did wonder, I mean, I noticed straight away and I don't even know that much about plants. When did you find out?" 

"Not long after they started," she shrugged. "I just didn't tell them."

"John did say they bought the best quality plants they could find," I said, feeling the need to defend my man and his idiot brothers. 

"Oh, they did that alright. They are beautiful and less work than the real thing, honestly I liked my plants because they gave me something to do, they kept me occupied but when this organisation took off I didn't need them any more."

"Then why not tell them?" 

"Because it was funny to watch them pretend to water them every week, plus I was waiting for then to realise how stupid they had been."

"Which they didn't," I supplied. 

"No, they didn't, which surprised me, I thought I'd raised them to be smarter than that." 

"They were pretty smart with it," I argued. 

"Smart? They replaced every plant that died."

"Yeah, that was kinda the point."

"Which would have been fine, if they had paid attention to the plants themselves. Roses that bloom for four years are a dead giveaway."

[maggiemcnamee]

overlookedoverachiever​

Maggie watched on in confusion as her husband threw his belongings into an over-sized suitcase. “Are you leaving me?” she asked, almost hopefully. “You bloody well know I’m not leavin’ ya Maggie” she heard the man sigh as he continued to throw various items into the bag, leaving her to take them back out and fold them neatly. “Then do you mind informing me where the hell you’re going?” she demanded, folding her arms tightly across her chest as she waited for an explanation.

“I’m in a bit of trouble- need to go away for a while”, Maggie was left stunned at his brisk explanation, whatever feeling she had for her husband may have evaporated a long time ago, but that didn’t stop her worrying about what trouble he was bringing into their life. “What do you mean-” she was cut off by her husband’s gruff voice, “Maggie I really don’t have time to talk about this, I have to go away for a while that’s all there is to it, I’ve asked someone to come and stay with you while I’m gone”. She was sure that her knuckles were turning white from the death grip she held on the bedside table, “John I don’t need a bloody babysitter, I’m a grown-” she was cut off again, this time by the sound of a harsh knock at the front door.

“That’ll be him” John motioned for her to let the guest in. She briefly considered leaving whatever lackey her husband had employed to babysit her outside the door, in a hope that they would eventually get the hint and leave. However she decided against it, considering that it would probably be much easier to get rid of them when her husband was gone. With pursed lips she swung the front door open, unsure of exactly what to expect.