#//maybe s2 maybe a bit before mayhaps?

[lunedaepenid]

@lunarfey

 ❝ your stomach’s growling loud enough to wake the dead. ❞ for liserne from kenzi's witcher verse

A FUNNY THING TO SAY TO A GIRL THAT SHOULD BE. The continent is full of people who hate what they don’t understand, that strive to eradicate any they consider other. (No matter that this Continent was their’s first.) But not Fianna.

“Do you think we have to worry about monsters?” Could her stomach actually wake the dead? A demon had a hand in her coming to term, giving life and death in equal measure. Who’s presence still lingers despite no longer being on this plane of existence. (She’s scared to think more of what that could mean.)

[izzy-b-hands]

I love writing the more domestic and silly ofmd fic, but part of me really wants to leak in more terror and gore like. Thinking of a S2 reunited and things successfully talked over Ed and Stede being just the fucking terrors of the sea.

Like from the perspective of idk, nameless french sailor Number 24601, Blackbeard is pants shitting scary. But imagine tales coming out that talk of not just Blackbeard, but the most angelic-looking devil now at his side. With blood in his blond curls, the sharpest gutting knives hidden in his satin waistcoat, and an alarming move during sword fights of swatting his opponent hard enough on the ass to draw blood before running them through. If that doesn't up the terror level a decent chunk, idk what else would.

And I *fuckin love that shit so much*!! Ed and Stede like. Being perfectly normal and complimenting the marmalade at brunch. Cut to Stede watching with a smile and taking notes as Ed shows him how to push somebody's eyes into their skull (or pop them, but fun fact!! While the eyes can be very fragile/sensitive, it does actually take decent force to cause those injuries! One of the ophthalmologists I work for told me that and it's hands down the best thing I've learned at work akdbfjgngng.) Now to lunch time, They're laughing with the crew over a silly dance Buttons made up and taught some seagulls to do. Stede and Ed made the sandwiches they brought along themselves. They tailored each one to what each crew member enjoys most. For all the world this is like Pirates Family Vacation. Cut back to them boarding another ship. Across the fight, Stede and Ed spot each other. They grin, and run their opponents through, pushing them past everyone to smack them into each other (and in the process, the tip of each of their swords goes into the opposite opponent, which is just insult to injury by that point.) Leaning over the shoulders of the men bleeding out against them, they're able to share a quick and giggly kiss. The men bleeding out don't mind the PDA, they've been guilty themselves mayhaps of such things. But it's that the timing is a bit rude, with them being killed and all and their killers making out really close by, audibly. Kind of a lot for one last day of work and also life.

Just. Beautiful cutesy and funny bf moments intermixed with gore and violence where Stede and Ed show that for as long as they're alive and sailing, they'll do whatever the fuck they want and anyone who gets in the way will regret it.

Also hilarious: Izzy whiplash. When they're fighting, he loves them, wishes they could be like that all the time. Maybe makes him a little horny too, but he's not gonna fucking admit that to anyone, not now at least lmao. When they're presenting the matching nightclothes they had made for the crew, he wants to crawl into a hole and scream (even moreso when be realizes the nightclothes are really nice and well made and comfy.)

[forestwater87]

JERMY FARTZ (S2E4) MASTERPOST: NO BREAKING INTO PARTS, WE SCROLL LIKE MEN

I laugh at that name every time, and I’m not even sorry.

So I haven’t touched the 2 latest episodes because I’m lazy, but this was so much fun that I had to devote some time screaming to it! So get ready kids, because there is screaming (and spoilers) below the cut.

Though first: someone who’s never seen Camp Camp tell me what’s going on in this picture:

This episode has my favorite people. As in, Gwen and David. Yeah, there’s gonna be a lot of them in this post, and I’m not even sorry.

But first! Have some squished Nikki:

I love her.

FACE DOWN BOOTY UP

THAT’S THE WAY WE LIKE TO —

. . . Moving on.

Can we take a moment to appreciate Max’s sassy little wrist flip?

Also can someone explain to me how Camp Campbell won anything athletic against the Woodscouts? That seems to defy logic.

There are so many good things going on in this picture, but the most exciting is that GWEN IS SMILING! ACTUALLY SMILING FOR REAL!

Don’t believe me? Look at this saucy little zoom in:

LOOK HOW HAPPY SHE IS! Also, if we can indulge me for a moment (and I’d like to see you stop me): She’s not smiling because of the game. She’s not smiling because the kids are happy.

That smile is 100% aimed at David.

Girl’s in love, is all I’m saying.

Nikki, what the fuck are you doing?

A lot of this is going to literally just be a dumping ground for pictures I think are cute, because I still don’t really understand what a “masterpost” is. So in that vein, Max is cute. Space Kid, in the background: also cute.

Man, they kinda look like they’re reenacting a super low-budget version of West Side Story, huh? 

But I feel like it needs more ~camp.~

THERE WE GO! Thanks, David. Always there to sparkle things up when I need you.

One of the reasons I can’t stand Pikeman — besides the, y’know, all of him — is how he makes David sad. Look at David’s sad sad face and tell me you don’t wanna punch this twerp just a little bit.

Then again, he also makes Max make this face, and this is a great face.

Allow me to deposit in front of your eyeballs some Davids:

There we go! Aren’t we all feeling a little bit better now?

I HEARD MY BOYFRIEND COWORKER WAS BEING AN IDIOT AND CAME AS FAST AS I COULD!

Honestly, “Gwen desperately trying to stop David from doing something really stupid” is one of my favorite dynamics. They continue to be everything I need in life. Looking at this picture caused 75 new Forestwater Gwenvid stories to appear in the AO3 feed. (Ha, no. Wouldn’t that be awful?)

She so badly wants to save him (and her, let’s be real) from himself and I love it.

And that’s the moment you realize David is an incurable idiot. (Who totally gambles because Mr. Campbell does it and he wants to be like dad.)

I don’t even have anything to say, I just love this picture to pieces. Every expression is gold.

Here are some cute Davids:

And OH MY GOD LOOK AT MAX’S FACE:

LOOKIT HIM

HE LOOKS LIKE FUCKING GRUMPY CAT I’M WHEEZING

I’m not sure what’s the best thing about this: Gwen’s face, how proud David is, or the fact that literally everyone is just d o n e with his bullshit.

(Just kidding. The answer is always Gwen.)

I have a moral conflict regarding her, because on the one hand I want nothing more than for her to be happy, but on the other . . .

look

how great

her angry faces are.

Also take a moment and appreciate David. I think something valuable gets broken in his brain this episode, because he makes this face for a solid 45% of it.

Though I mean . . . I’m not complaining. It’s a damn cute face, and he looks like a sad kitten.

(Do I relate all things I find adorable to kittens? Mayhap.)

1) Gwen is precious. I feel like this is a given at this point but will continue to point it out because I have a need to.

2) What is up with David’s center of gravity? Am I the only person who wouldn’t be able to balance like that?

Let me show you: an emotional breakdown in 4 pictures:

This is not a well woman, guys. She’s not holding on to her chill even a little bit.

(Also the way David looks down at his chest after she pokes him in it, like he’s saying “me?” I love him so much, guys. He is kitten.)

Davey trying to win the family over with sweet dance moves and a charming smile.

It doesn’t work.

Though Lordy, I literally made a goose-like honk at Gwen’s face.

(It’s at this point, at 11 p.m. on a work night, that I decided not to break this up into separate parts like I did for the first episode. This might be a terrible idea.)

(Editing this at almost 1 a.m. on a work night: It was a terrible idea.)

These 3 pictures are less than 2 seconds apart. I fucking love the animation on this show.

(And hey, it’s my icon! Hi icon!)

Why is beat-up David so attractive? Is it me? Am I just a monster?

Not a single face here isn’t great. These beautiful babes.

So the general plot of this episode (not that you come here for plot synopses. You come here for pictures and lots of screaming) is that everyone at camp has to be nice for 24 hours or they have to surrender their best camper to the Woodscouts.

It . . .

. . . doesn’t come naturally to them.

Wait, no. This is the picture I want described by someone who’s never seen Camp Camp before.

I cropped out what they’re reacting to in this shot.

That’s because I love you.

(Starting to regret this whole “not breaking into parts thing.” Will I be weak enough to cave? Who knows?)

(Editing note: Nope! I wasn’t! Oops!)

Is it me, or is Max more expressive this season? Maybe I just wasn’t paying attention previously, but it seems like his faces are way more entertaining in these most recent episodes.

In an epic battle of who can be the most charming while leaning, Nikki goes for a classic jazz hands approach that’s sure to impress the judges, Neil opts for a safe routine with minimal leaning but excessive raptor arms (points for originality), and Space Kid brings home the gold because he looks like an old-timey farmer holding up invisible suspenders/overalls, and that’s not easy to accomplish while wearing a space suit made out of cardboard and underwear.

Observe: 3 Very Angry Beans. You can tell they’re Very Angry Beans because of their Very Angry Mouths. Approach with caution.

I would die for David. Just wanted to throw that out there.

I wish I didn’t find Max’s suffering so adorable. (Editing note: I also wish I used a thesaurus. Oh well. Hope you like variations on the word “adorable!”)

Then again, I wish I was asleep and also I’d like some carrot cake, so it’s just an evening/early morning of disappointments.

Why golly, is it time for more Gwen faces?! I believe it is!

AWOOOOOOO

WEREWOLVES OF CAMP CAMP

shut up I think I’m funny

David’s making The Face. The Face that makes me think something’s broken inside him, because he makes it throughout this entire scene with very few exceptions.

But again, it’s a great face.

(Also look at Nikki and Gwen sizing each other up. Isn’t it cute?)

I think my favorite thing about this episode is, like in S2 Ep. 3 — which I’ll get to eventually! — we see Gwen genuinely does care. This is more than just a paycheck for her; she wants the kids to be happy and respect each other, she wants them to learn and even have fun (provided that fun isn’t ruining her life). She’s worried about Jermy, and she trusts and respects the campers to understand what she thought they were doing that was uncool and why.

She’s actually good at her job, and at any other camp she might even enjoy it to some extent. She’s just been very beaten down by the Campbell kids to the point of apathy and, ahem, “crippling anxiety and regret.”

Basically Gwen’s what happens when Max succeeds at what he was trying to do to David all season 1.

Pfft. Cute. I love Jermy just for the suffering he inflicts on the mains. (Also he’s surprisingly aware of what a disaster he is, without being depressed about it. I can respect that.)

David’s making that face again.

Why does he keep making that face?

David’s brain might have gone all Blue Screen of Death, but Gwen’s actually sets on fire:

I feel like maybe I should take back what I said about her being good at her job. She’s still not great with kids, okay? 

But she cares. That’s the important part.

I don’t know if Petrol will get the credit he deserves for this episode, but he’s just pure comedic gold. Every time he shows up it’s fucking funny.

The Most Important Things in Forestwater’s Life Right Now: A Triptych

David’s face

David’s moonwalking

Gwen’s face

(Also: Petrol. Continuing to make me giggle way too loud and disturb my neighbors.)

If you’ll forgive me a little shipping (and if you’ve scrolled this far, I think it’s pretty clear you’ll forgive basically anything): Look at her soul-crushing despair. That is a face you give someone when you’re close enough to communicate to them without a word.

Okay, I mean what she’s communicating is “kill me,” but I still think it counts. You don’t give that kinda eye contact to a casual acquaintance, is all I’m saying.

I feel like I haven’t properly communicated how much I love every expression this woman makes.

Is that clear yet?

Look how proud David is that his babies are participating!

This is entirely for @hopefullypessimistic84, who could always use a cute Nerris in her life.

MAX

MY BOY

My favorite part about the next few pictures is how you can clearly see every thought in Gwen’s head as she’s thinking it.

“All right, you’ll be fine. Just think positive! Be David!”

“Okay no, don’t be David. Never be David. But remember how much you like not living with your parents! Do it for the rent money!”

“Yeah, look at you, girl. You got this!”

“Please don’t let David or Max fuck this up.”

“Oh, Christ.”

“Oh, CHRIST.”

“Literally no one else is gonna take care of this shit. This is your job. You HAVE to.”

“Still better than living with your parents. Technically.”

Petrol continues to be very very good.

Max pulling out his hair in frustration at having to be nice is a beautiful thing and I want more of it.

He is an angry elf.

NURF! BABY! Why are you sad? You did such a good art! You should be so happy!

Please don’t cry, Nurf. I love you.

This shot is also for HopefullyPessimistic, and I hope she appreciates it because it was really hard to get. Nerris was onscreen for like 2 seconds and the cup was in her face for most of it.

Petrol.

Is.

Hilarious.

He somehow became one of my favorite characters? How the fuck did that happen?

This show is sometimes just so pretty, guys.

Pfft.

Some brief Preston appreciation, because I don’t pay him enough attention. With an appearance by Petrol.

1) David is pure and beautiful.

2) Gwen is fucking done. With everything, but especially David.

3) QM is . . . what’s he doing to his hand? Because it really looks like he’s ripping off his fingernail. That’s . . . I mean, I don’t wanna tell you how to live your life, especially since I’m pretty sure you’re older than most municipalities so clearly you’re doing something right, but I feel like that’s not a great idea, my man.

I didn’t know that Max slowly losing his mind was my aesthetic, but apparently it is because these pictures make me laugh my ass off every time I see them.

Nurf has Sassy Eyebrows. 

(Editing note: My thoughts started deteriorating around midnight. You might be able to tell by the quality of my commentary.)

I’m sorry. I know Dolph is a super controversial character and all . . . but goddamn it, he’s cute as fuck. I can’t help but like him.

*Daniel neck crick*

Max is such a force to be reckoned with that a dog pile must be created to contain his rage. 

Also I’m not sure where Ered or Harrison’s heads are in that nightmare, but it can’t be comfortable. That’s some serious dedication to the cause, kids. Nikki’s clearly having the time of her life. And Space Kid . . . uh, good effort, I guess?

These are pictures of a fully-grown man mocking a child who has been put under his care. Does that make them any less adorable?

No. Such is David’s terrifying power.

Tremble before his cuteness, bitches.

“I’m an asshole!”

But he’s a daggum lovable asshole, isn’t he?

Max’s relief at finally being able to call David a moron and tell him to suck a dick . . . I don’t wanna say he looks like a happy kitty.

Just know I’m thinking it very very loudly.

What a sweet child.

Final Petrol appreciation: he still has the whistle in his mouth. He is a good and loyal boy.

It’s The Face.

Again.

(Gwen is lovely. As usual.)

Look at this smug motherfucker. He even makes this little “hmm” noise which is so cute, like everything worked out the way he’d planned it. Anyone who says David isn’t a dick isn’t watching the show closely enough. He’s a selfish douchebag a lot of the time and it’s one of the best things about him.

Yes, Gwen. That is the appropriate reaction. (Also she backhanded him. That was no open-palm affair; that’s knuckles in his cheekbone. Gwen’s cold.)

Oh, and sorry about the volume slider. If it wasn’t 12:30 in the morning I’d totally fix that.

David makes a sad little “eunghh” sound when she hits him. It is also too precious for words.

Look at his hair floof! Look how it floofs!

(there is a nervous giggle here. I melted)

I once saw a man so beautiful I started crying?

Something these pictures will never be able to accurately communicate:

1) The way there’s this lovely light 1980s-sitcom Very Special Episode music playing in the background, like David’s going to impart a moral. (Spoiler: he doesn’t)

2) The way Miles’ voice kept cracking like a fa — a bunch of pine birch sticks this whole episode. You might be surprised to find that I think it’s adorable. I’m not sure how you possibly could be surprised by that, but you might be.

“Maybe I AM an asshole.”

“Just . . . sometimes, okay?! Sometimes!”

The best moral and possibly my new favorite line to randomly quote.

LOOK AT THE BLUSHY BOY

LOOK HOW HANDSOME HE IS

HOW PURE

HOW FLUSTERED

WATCH HIM STORM OFF WITH THAT LITTLE ANGRY POUT

HE’S PROBABLY OFF TO ANGRY-CRY AND WRITE IN HIS DIARY

MAYBE CALL HIS MOM AND ASK IF SHE’S DISAPPOINTED IN HIM

HE IS THE SWEETEST

Even if I didn’t love every minute of the episode leading up to this (and I do), these last 5 seconds would absolutely skyrocket it to one of my favorites of the entire show. Just look how fucking cute this is. Look at it!

David is bad at being a person and we love him for it.

And here ends the longest, stupidest thing I’ve ever written. I’m genuinely curious to see if anyone made it all the way through. If you did . . . you deserve a cookie or something. Definitely mention in the tags or send me an ask saying you did, because I wanna know who’s almost as nerdy and lame as I am!