#//it's my favourite piece of vampire media hands down

[johannestevans]

Update 11/11/2022

Good afternoon!

It's been some time, hasn't it?

I'm going to try to get back into doing these regularly again, and will resume doing media recs properly from next week - in the meantime, I'm just gonna do a big run-down of my new published works over the past few weeks!

New Non-Fiction Published

Looking For 🍑🍆💦: A Beginner’s Guide to Grindr for Trans Men

Approaching Grindr (and cruising culture) as a trans man.

On Patreon / / On Medium

New Fiction Published

Erotic Short: Working Schedule

A boss and his secretary take a break for a nap. Rated E, 1.4k. Cis M/trans M. Featuring cockwarming with PIV, some D/s, dirty talk, mild somnophilia, some role reversal play, mentions of creampies.

Read on Patreon / / Read on Medium

Erotic Short: Vigour

A man is stuck between a proverbial rock and hard place.

500w, M/trans M, rated E. Just a short piece, overstimulation, doggy style, bondage, and a sex wand.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Early Birthday

A boss is prompted to fuck his assistant.

Rated E, cis M/trans M, 3.5k. Age difference, size difference, boss/employee, rough sex, bareback, overstimulation, sex pollen.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Figging

A snippet with some ginger.

Just 350w, Tom Warren/Samuel Coates. A little ginger and anal play, some vaginal fingering, and some spanking.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Treatment

An inmate at a rehabilitation centre satisfies his urges with the visiting doctor. 1.2k, rated E, cis M/M. Just skin hunger, age difference, blowjobs, and praise.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Contract

A trans man lets a gangster fuck him raw in exchange for services to be rendered.

Erotic short, rated E, cis M/trans M. 5.8k. Danny, a waiter, is offered a deal by a local gangster, Arne Seven: for letting Seven fuck him bareback, Seven will pay for his bottom surgery. A continuation of Financial Security.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Therapeutic

A vampire chokes his secretary.

500w, cis M/trans M, rated E. Gellert Osgodby and Lucien Pike, with Pike choking Gellert whilst fucking him, then massaging his feet. Mentions of overstim.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Busy

A pub manager gets a helping hand at work.

900w. Cis M/trans M. Doggy sex, semi-public, dirty talk, casual sex, sex at work!

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Stuck

A guy gets stuck with his ass up in the air, and his roommates take gleeful advantage.

3k, rated E, trans man getting fucked by a bunch of cis guys. Featuring predicament bondage, barebacking, anal and vaginal, mildly dubious consent (trans man is into it, but there’s not much negotiation or seeking out specific consent), multiple orgasms.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Honesty & Ease

A sailor visits a favourite brothel.

4k, rated E, cis M/M! Featuring some sex work, age difference, teasing, anal, some self esteem stuff, some degradation and humiliation! More with Paris, because he’s on my mind a lot of late, and I love him to pieces.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Perfect Game

Charlie’s roommate is having a loud hook-up, again.

2.1k, rated E. Cis M/trans M. Charlie and Gaiden have been friends for years, but Charlie is getting tired of Gaiden’s hook-ups. So is Gaiden.

Featuring some voyeurism, creampies, vaginal sex, vaginal spanking and spanking threats, some dirty talk, messy sex, mild D/s, friends-to-fucking. Terms used for Gaiden’s bits are cock, cunt, and pussy.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Shivers

A young man kisses an older bear.

500w. Rated M. Some touch starvation and shivers, kissing in a man’s lap.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Sizes Compared

350w, rated E. Anal sex when size makes vaginal sex just a little too much work. :) A return of Bill and Ajax from Unlikely Matches.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Under Command

A man meets a physician for a tumble, and the physician invites an audience.

2k, rated E, cis M/M with an audience of 2 more. Featuring anal, some D/s, age difference, overstimulation, fucking in front of an audience, teasing.

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Close Shave

A barber and his lover alone in the shop after closing.

1.3k, rated M. Lenny has been travelling a while, and now home, Aban welcomes him back with his straight razor. Lots of intimacy and warmth and love and affection, expressed through shaving kink!

On Medium / / On Patreon

Erotic Short: Sumptuous

Just some slow and luxurious sex.

500w. Cis M/M, slow and loving sex during a heat wave.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: The Baths

An attendant is well-used by a warrior after the arena. 850w. Cis M/M, Roman warrior with a slave in the baths. Size difference, strength kink, mild dehumanisation and humiliation, begging. Anal and oral.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic Short: Quiet Command

A ship’s captain wakes his lover and teases him before he offers satisfaction.

1.5k, rated E, cis M/trans M. More of Ian Chisholm and Lluw, who were first in Sleeping Beauty! Mild somnophilia, some D/s, a lot of frottage and grinding, teasing, begging, role switching, and PIV sex.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Erotic TweetFic: Mountain Baths

1600s Japan, 2 men at the hot springs! Featuring size difference, overstim, fingering, barebacking, and all that good stuff.

On Twitter

TweetFic: Arrangement

Ancient Greeks with an arranged marriage of sorts between a temple priest and a herbalist! Sexual tension and back-and-forthing and TEASING.

On Twitter

Serial Update: Milk Production

Tristan finds himself overwhelmed with his attraction to Doctor Mills’ bedside manner. This installment, rated E, 2.4k. This chapter featuring lactation kink, heavy medical kink, references to stuffing and weight gain under medical supervision, humiliation and praise kink.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Serial Update: Powder and Feathers

It seems to Aimé Deverell that there is very little point to life, except for what pleasures can be enjoyed before the grave. Life is short - thank God - but at least there's enough in the world to dull the senses in the meantime.

That philosophy shatters like glass when he meets Jean-Pierre, an angel.

On WorldAnvil / / On Medium

Serial Updates: Rescue Dogs

Cecil Hobbes, an ex-PE teacher disgraced and looked down on in his hometown, has a new partner: Sir Valorous King, a knight of the realm, once a child of prophecy, and Cecil’s stalker.

A few months into their relationship, Cecil finally convinces Valorous to see a therapist, on the condition that Cecil attend one himself.

On WorldAnvil / / On Medium

Serial Update: Prophet's Cry

Several weeks in, Prophet and Vixen have a morning chat while Vixen gets dressed.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Fantasy Short: The Gorgon Lives Alone

A snake-headed woman lives in solitude beneath the ground. 1.2k, rated T. CW for non-explicit references to sexual assault.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Fantasy Short: Lady of the Wood

A young woman walks on divine ground. 2.6k. Fantasy short. A photographer takes her dog on walks through a divine wood, not knowing she’s watched over by a new patroness.

On Patreon / / On Medium

Slice-of-Life Short: Paris at Rest

A sex worker takes his night’s rest on the chest of their bouncer.

1.5k, rated M. Some cis M/M. Just a bit of slice-of-life and quiet feelings with a port sexworker in the Age of Sail! Paris first appeared in Haughty Paris. Notes for some anti-sex work language throughout.

On Patreon / / On Medium

New Fanfiction Published

Our Flag Means Death: Tentacles

Rated E. Steddyhands, Stede with tentacles, inflation, immobilisation, oviposition, dubious consent, crying, overstim. Bottom trans Izzy, top cis Ed and Stede and also bottom Ed.

On Twitter

Our Flag Means Death: Sweet

Rated E. So here's Izzy now, all tuckered out after a bitching match with Edward, all the strength worked out of him and all the armour stripped off him, so that he's soft and tender and almost sweet.

On Ao3

Our Flag Means Death: Bottle It Up

Rated T. Had a request for some Ouizzy!

On Ao3

[spnfanficpond]

Pond Diving - emilyshurley

Welcome to today’s Pond Diving Spotlight! We hope that you enjoy this little insight to our members and perhaps even find some useful tips for your own writing. Happy reading!

Want to volunteer, send us an ask! We’re looking forward to learning more about all of you! Not sure what PD is, you can learn more here.

Name: Emily

Age: 21

Location: India

URL: @emilyshurley​

Why did you choose your URL: Okay this is embarrassing. I was trying to sign up for AO3, so I did a quick Google search for two things, what's the name of Dean's daughter? Emma, and Chuck's last name, Shurley

I accidentally typed Emma as Emily and that's it. 

There was a very real chance that my url would have been emmashurley. Thoughts on that one? Maybe I'll change it someday. 

What inspired you to become a writer: Being an only child who wasn't allowed to watch tv for more than 2 hours. And not having friends, that also had something to do with it. 

How long have you been writing: Fanfiction? 4 years (was on Wattpad before this). In general? 12 years, I guess... I remember showing my first short story to my english teacher in 6th class. 

What do you do when you are not writing i.e. Job/Hobbies etc? Cooking, eating what I made. I don't get to cook often so I enjoy it when I can. Other than that, college takes up most of my time. Currently getting my bachelor's degree in science. It's my last year, will probably get master's in zoology next. 

How long have you been in the SPN Fandom? 4 years

Are you in any other fandoms and do you write for them? Way too freaking many. But I write for marvel and I'm thinking of re-posting the very first vampire diaries fanfic I wrote. But are people still into vampires?

Do you do any writing outside of fanfiction? If so, tell us about it? Mostly journalling, but I occasionally take part in writing competitions and things.

Favorite published author: Amish Tripathi (He mainly writes Hindu mythological fantasy? If that's anyone's jam here)

Have you ever read a book that made an impact on your life? Which one and why?: Leap of faith by Danielle Steel. Not for any reason other than the fact that it was the first novel I ever read. My grandfather was reading it, and I told him I wanted to read something too so he gave it to me. 

Favorite genre of fanfic (smut, angst, fluff, crack, rpf, etc):Platonic fluff!!!! Give me all the fics of best friends being adorable. 

Favorite piece of your own writing: Once upon a Winchester. But I gave myself so little canon to work with that I think I'll continue it after the show ends. I have to know the ending to continue it. 

Most underrated fic you have written: Letters to no one. For any marvel fans, it's a two part fic in Natasha's POV, just some letters she thought no one will ever read. 

Story of yours that you’d most like to see turned into a movie/tv show: Project Latrodectus, again marvel. I kinda feel bad for mentioning my marvel fics so much but I'm pulling influences from the story of Eklavya in Mahabharata, which is a Hindu epic so complex that I won't attempt to explain it here. 

Favorite Tumblr Writer(s): Ahh that's a tough one. I love so many people. At this point, mentioning Myin ( @myinconnelly1 ) feels like cheating because another who has ever looked at my posts can tell she's my favourite human. So I'll try not to mention her further. 

Otherwise, Beka ( @impala-dreamer), Kate ( @katehuntington​ ), @katymacsupernatural and other hoomans I can't remember because I have been away from Tumblr for a while. 

Favorite Fic from another writer: Blood and Honey by @kittenofdoomage. And the proposal by @katymacsupernatural

Favorite character to write: Marvel: Natasha Romanoff, Supernatural: I have never written Charlie but I'd love to. 

Favorite Pairing to write: So they are platonic ships but Dean and Charlie, the boys and Garth and Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff. 

Least favorite character to write (and why): Easily John Winchester. I don't know, my brain just can't process his character. Like no matter how many times I try, John just sounds off. 

Do you have anyone you consider a mentor? Irl, my grandfather. On tumblr, Myin. I know, I know I said I won't mention her but Myin is my support system here. No matter what goes on in my brain, no idea is too crazy for her. 

Do you have any aspirations involving your writing? To make people feel less alone because I think that feels like shit. My goal moving forward is to write more Indian reader and LGBTQ reader fics because I think not many people in the fandom (that I know of) are writing those fics. 

How many work-in-progress stories do you have: Four, all of them are series. Technically 2 are my ongoing ones. And one is an MCU x SPN crossover that's taking a while to plan. 

What are you currently working on? Nothing focusing on college these days. But will write random one shots here and there.

“Pond Diving” - All About The Writing

What/who has had the biggest influence on your writing? My inability to write romance. No joke, I don't feel like I write it well. So I tend to write general fics and crack fics.

Best writing advice you've been given: Someone recommended the book, writing down the bones, to me a while ago. In the very first chapter it says, use a cheap notebook (so you don't feel guilty about 'bad writing') and a fast writing pen. 

Since most of my non fanfic writings are done by hand I like that advice.

Biggest obstacle you’ve faced in your writing: Procrastination. I'm the creator of my one misery here. I push stuff till the last moment then complain about being too busy to do anything. 

What aspects of writing do you find difficult when you write fanfiction?Smut. I can't. I don't know I like to say I don't feel comfortable writing it but the truth is I just think I'd put people off. Which is not the intended outcome. 

Is there anything you want to write but are afraid to (and why): More LGBTQ+ characters/reader inserts. Why? Say for example, even though I'm bi, but my version of bisexual Dean might not be something other people would relate to and I'm scared of accidentally offending someone. 

What inspires/motivates you to write: What if scenarios. I love speculating and coming up with the context behind what we see on screen. Like an idea that I'll one day use is, what was Sam going when Dean was in hell or purgatory. Sure in one case he hit a dog and met a girl but how? 

So I want to write more general fics or like filler between the scenes we see on the screen. 

How do you deal with self doubt: By talking to people, knowing I'm not alone in this helps. And sending fics to friends before I post them. 

How do you deal with writer's block: Play the sims. What I mean is take a break, do something completely different for a while. 

Do you plan/outline your story before you start: I don't, for one shots. For series I have to have an ending or else I'll lose interest very quickly. 

Do you have any weird writing habits: Would you consider writing/planning things on paper before writing it on the computer weird? 

Have you ever received hateful comments on your fic and how do you deal with it? I did. My very first fic on Tumblr. It was a Tony Stark x Indian!Reader fic and someone messaged me saying most content media is written for an American/Western audience. And that Tony Stark would never actually do for someone who's Indian because well Indian characters aren't primarily present in the MUC. So no one wants to read it. 

What I did about it? I deleted the fic and every backup I had of it. Because in my head they were right. All Indian get is Bruce Banner doing charity work for "all the poor Indians".

It wasn't until recently that I started talking to @desisamslut that I realised that people actually want to read about reader inserts that are like them. I mean it's called a reader insert for a reason how could I not see it?

Conversely: what’s been some of your favorite feedback on your fanfic?When someone made a mood board for my Black Widow fanfiction. 

If you could give one piece of advice to a new and/or struggling writer, what would it be? Hang in there, no matter how uncommon you think what you want to write about is, you'll find an audience. I mentioned @desisamslut in another answer, the first thing she told me was she has never seen an indian reader fic, so she felt happy when she read the one I wrote recently. 

[kyndaris]

2020: Unprecedented Times

Most people, at the start of the year, had high hopes for 2020. For many, it was the start of a new decade (though, ask anyone on the street and the start of a decade is open to debate). Here in Australia, the start of 2020 merely carried on the disasters of 2019. Beset by bushfires all along the Eastern coast, we watched as our tourism numbers slump as the denizens of Sydney wore masks as a means to fight the harmful effects of smoke inhalation. Many small businesses, particularly in small towns, felt the brunt of the natural disaster. Homes were destroyed by the thousands. Worse was the fact that livelihoods that were dependent on visitors from all around the world (in particular, China) were also badly affected.

Why would anyone come to Australia, after all, when there was smoke in the air and the air quality was teetering on dangerously toxic?

Many hoped that once the fires had petered out, however, life would return to normal. Little did they know that by March, the world would be caught in the grips of COVID-19. After all, though there were the occasional news headlines of a new disease plaguing China in early January (which resulted in me warning my grandmother that maybe she not go over to celebrate the Year of the Rat), most people were focused on Donald Trump’s impeachment.

Then, of course, there was the assassination of an infamous Iranian general:  Qasem Soleimani. Once again, the world’s attention was arrested by the acts of the United States of America. Most were worried that the tension between Iran and the United States of America would boil over. At the time, it almost felt like a repeat of Trump’s antagonism towards North Korea.

In the United Kingdom, Brexit was well underway. After his re-election in December 2019, Boris Johnson continued his negotiations for a way that Britain could leave the European Union.

On a more personal scale, Australia was wracked by sport club funding scandals and climate change protests.

As for me, I was more concerned about the video game delays. Now that I write this, in December of 2020, I look back and think that perhaps it was appropriate for Cyberpunk 2077 to have been delayed until next year in order to fix the bugs that have the plagued the title ever since launch. Still, I was also vastly disappointed that Vampires the Masquerade II would not be releasing anytime soon. And saddened to hear that The Last of Us Part II had been pushed back.

After COVID-19 swept across the globe and taken hold in most countries and continents (which now extends to Antarctica thanks to a few Chileans testing positive), I watched as stupidity rose to the fore. Lockdown protests, the politicisation of the wearing of masks and the attacks on East Asians. Despite the severity of the virus and how infectious it was, I was disheartened to see so many people flout social distancing rules and break lockdown requirements. Most notably among the rich and famous such as politicians and NRL (National Rugby League) players.

Of course, being in Australia, our bid to ‘flatten the curve’ proved incredibly effective. Articles I’ve read indicate that this was mostly due to Australian’s observance of laws and regulations, as well as our trust in science. In fact, I’ve heard the refrain, ‘at least we’re not America’ spoken quite a few times this year. And honestly, after looking at the statistics, with the Land of the Free having upwards of 18.5 million cases with 326,000 (and counting) deaths, I couldn't agree more to the sentiment.

The whole ‘do as we say, not as we do’ approach by its President further served to fracture society and gave rise to conspiracy theories that served no purpose but showcase the height of people’s ignorance and distrust. It didn’t help that most Western countries also placed more importance on the ‘economy’ than people’s lives. Many global leaders were of the opinion that the ‘cure should not be worse than the disease’ and that a few deaths to keep the budget afloat was a necessary evil. 

Well, to that, I say, ‘Bah! Humbug!’ Without acting decisively and quickly, many nations have ruined their economy AND seen their people die in droves. When people are falling sick and suffering from long-term effects, they’re hardly likely to spend money. Nor will they be able to contribute to society and be able to continue working. Instead, you’ll be saddled with additional welfare taxes. By going hard and fast, closing down the economy for two months, maybe three, you can bounce back harder and stronger without fear of contagion.

Now, many countries are struggling with high numbers of new infected each day AND an economy that’s in tatters. Good job. 

It also doesn’t hurt to give back to the community and help struggling businesses. Schemes such as Jobkeeper and Jobseeker (at least in Australia) were able to alleviate some of the stress for many workers. And honestly, perhaps if the world had implemented a universal basic income, this would also enable people ensure their basic needs are met without sinking into poverty.

The fact that so many only see the short-term rather than long-term is astounding. And as for Sweden’s model? The less said about it, the better. ‘Herd immunity’ without a working vaccine? Madness. Utter madness. Particularly when the virus is airborne.

After enjoying a decent summer, numbers rose again in Europe and much of it was back under lockdown. A new strain, that has proven much more infectious, was discovered in the South of England! Trump tested positive for COVID-19, but to the dismay of many, he recovered quite quickly.

But 2020 did not end there. Once again, the struggles between ethnic minorities were brought again to the limelight. The death of George Floyd saw the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement and served to highlight the disproportionate number of those living in poverty and in prison. As a person of colour myself (being of East Asian descent), I tried to explain some of this to my colleagues. But some of them saw Black Lives Matter as a predominantly American issue - and disregarded the fact that many Indigenous Australians were also in prison, caught in a vicious cycle of crime and violence.

It wasn’t long, however, that Australia experienced its own second wave in Melbourne, due to breaches in hotel quarantine. And honestly, it came as a surprise when it also happened in Adelaide and we learned that they weren’t testing hospital workers or those in high-risk workplaces on a REGULAR basis. You would have thought that all workers that transported aircrew or worked as security for those quarantining in hotels would be temperature-checked and given a swab every few days (or at least once a week). But no.

This is why we can’t have good things. 

Christmas in Sydney has also been somewhat neutered by the fact that there has been another sizeable outbreak in the Northern Beaches local council. And, of course, many people in Greater Sydney have been barred from other states. Gotta love those hard state borders where we treat each other as separate countries. Still - if it protects the people, the Premiers will stop at nothing. Even if it means families can’t be together. But better that than seeing Australia become the United States of America. 

Jumping from COVID-19, 2020 also saw an explosion in Beirut due to the storing of large amounts of ammonium nitrate at the port. Approximately 178 people were killed and more than 6,500 were injured. Locust swarms in Africa  descended upon crops, threatening food supply and livelihoods for millions of people. The West Coast of the United States of America suffered from catastrophic wildfires. Meanwhile, in south-east Asia, countries were hit by flooding and typhoons. As a side note, Armenia and Azerbaijan  restarted their ongoing feud. 

And to cap it all off, 2020 decided to further traumatise the future generation, a suicide video was uploaded to Tiktok. 

And oh, the US election. Where our favourite President tried to delay and impede mail-in-votes. In the days following the 3 November 2020 election, the world eagerly watched as the votes were counted and each state was certified. Trump, as is always his way, attempted to claim victory in the early hours of the morning of 4 November 2020, before deriding voter fraud with no evidence to substantiate his claims.

The weeks that followed saw a number of lawsuits that were lodged. Most, of which, were simply dismissed out of hand. And while his supporters have continued to claim that fraud was evident in the 2020 election, there has been no substantial pieces of evidence provided. Affidavits and hearsay, fortunately, do not a case make.

In Australia, our once promising relationship with China took a turn for the worse. While instances of racism, after the initial COVID-19, did not help, it also seemed that the finger pointing among government officials and demands for inquiries into wet markets only served to fuel the fire between the two nations. After initiating a trade war with the United States of America, China then saw fit to put significant tariffs on Australian beef, barley, wine and coal (to name but a few). 

The spat between Australia and China also took on a more insidious tone when several Australian journalists were forced to flee.

And with the unveiling of alleged war crimes committed by Australian troops in Afghanistan, the relationship between the two nations have come to an all-time low. China’s tweet of a doctored image that had an Australian soldier about to cut the throat of an Afghan child saw our Prime Minister taking to social media to demand an apology. 

All in all, 2020 has felt like both an incredibly short and long year in equal measure. For an introvert, such as myself, it’s been mostly the same. In fact, I can’t believe that it’s already at an end. Though my gaming has continued, as has my writing, I felt like I hardly interacted with any of my friends or did anything conducive to my social skills. While I’ve been made permanent at my place of work, it’s also felt a little stagnant. For a good long while, particularly in March, it felt like we were on the cusp of something huge and terrible. As the numbers climbed, I desperately wanted a hard lockdown to be called when leaders vacillated. 

2021 does not promise to be much better. While vaccines have rolled out in several countries, it’ll be a long time coming before the world manages to attain a sense of normalcy. For this blogger, I look forward to just kicking back and finally getting my hands on a PlayStation 5.

As for anyone that has worked on the front lines during this pandemic, I just want to say a big hearty ‘thank you.’ All of  you have sacrificed so much and seen so many terrible things. I wish that we all listened to your warnings instead of inundating emergency rooms thinking COVID-19 was a hoax.

Remember: keep at least 1.5 metres away from another person, wash/ sanitise your hands regularly and wear a mask if you can’t socially distance or are in an enclosed space. 

[daredevilexchange]

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What's your fannish ID? feathers-and-cigarettes. It was supposed to be kind of a bridge between my two then fandoms: Supernatural and Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Castiel and Spike)!

What types of fanworks do you create? Fanfiction! I have always wanted to write novels and have been in fandom in general since around 2003-2004, and I love that we can take the media that we love and have it inspire us to create more.

What are your favourite types of fanworks, when you're not creating? I don’t think I really have a favourite type. I read fanfic every day to wind down, I like to search YouTube for fanvids (holy shit the talent of some of these editors), and art and gif makers keep me entertained throughout the day on tumblr or IG.

What do you like in particular about this fandom? Marvel in general I have grown up on and I adore the depth in the characters, and that really lends itself to appealing to a wide variety of people in fandom. I love how supportive folks are, even in smaller fandoms like Fratt. My favourite genre is always canon/canon-divergence, my #1 Defenders ship is Fratt, but my favourite character is probably Foggy Nelson. Give me a plotty canon-divergent fic with Fratt and a healthy dose of Foggy and I will reread that over and over.

Do you like participating in fan events? I’ve only ever done a couple of Bingos (poorly) and one Big Bang (Symbrock Big Bang). My failure with the bingos was due to life intervening but I do have a lot of ideas from those bingos. I enjoy meeting fellow people in fandom and talking to them about comics/MCU, fics, art; I love the sense of community fan events give. Things like Marvel Trumps Hate or the Charity Hawktion even go above and beyond that in making a difference in our world through fandom.

What about your creating process? I usually write with some sort of trash tv on in the background, with anywhere from 1-3 dogs on the couch with me demanding attention.

[ID: three dogs side by side on a bench. End ID]

Do you interact a lot with other fans? I am the worst person on the planet about responding to fic comments but I’m fairly active on Discord (mostly the Marvel Bad Decisions Buddies). I am always down for chatting with other fans - feel free to poke me on discord (feathers-and-cigarettes#2884) or on tumblr! 

Is there any particular piece you'd like to showcase for this post? https://archiveofourown.org/works/21278153 Is probably both my favourite fic I’ve ever written and also the fic that’s the most personal to me. It was a prompt for Endgame Fratt that was supposed to be something short but ended up quickly spiraling into 24K of angst with a happy ending. I’ve wanted to do an Endgame fic for a while and having it be Frank really just kind of resonated with me.

Do you have other fandoms you'd like to talk about? I’m in basically the Marvel fandom as a whole; my other ships are Winterhawk, Symbrock, and Stony, along with my joke ship that took off running Disaster Trio (Clint/Bucky/Eddie).

Is there anything else you want to tell us about yourself? I have three dogs and they’re all varying degrees of evil. Sometimes they’ll cameo in my fics, sometimes they’ve cameo’d in other writers’ fics.

Where can your fanworks be found? https://archiveofourown.org/users/feathers_and_cigarettes/pseuds/feathers_and_cigarettes as well as on tumblr. I usually tag ship and characters. I can also be found on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/feathers_and_cigarettes

Thank you, @feathers-and-cigarettes​ !

banner by @context-is-for-kingpins​ !

[ID on a white background, four black triangles that look like spotlights from above. Each illuminates one of the Defenders silhouetted in white: Jessica, Luke, Danny, Matt. A hand on the left is holding a pen writing the words Content Creator Spotlight. There is a little Punisher skull on the pen. End ID]

[the--sad--hatter]

Name Calling (17)

FANDOM - MARVEL MCU

PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)

WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST

DESCRIPTION -  In which the ongoing and bloody war of words between you and Bucky turns in your favor when a disgruntled one night stand of his lets slip a secret when you run into her in the elevator… Now you have all the ammunition you need to destroy your enemy but you don’t plan on killing him quickly. Oh no, Bucky Barnes was going to suffer and you were going to enjoy every second. You just didn’t count on how much you would enjoy it.

MASTERLIST

Chapter Seventeen - Puzzle Pieces 

There was a steady drumbeat that woke you, you tried to open your eyes to tell whoever it was to knock it off but it was too bright and you quickly squeezed your eyes closed, hissing in annoyance at the stupid sun. The drumbeat carried on and you belatedly realised it was inside your head, sending a fresh wave of throbbing pain through your skull every few seconds.

You moaned lowly and shifted slowly, trying to manoeuvre you head under the pillow but you were trapped. You gradually became aware of an arm slung over your waist, trapping you in place and your eyes shot open in alarm. Wincing at the brightness you waited for your eyes to adjust. When they did you looked around, this wasn’t your bed, this wasn’t your room. Where the hell were you?

You twisted your head around to look behind you at the person who was holding you tightly and blinked in surprise. Darcy was spooning you, her eyes screwed tightly shut and soft rhythmic snores falling from her open mouth. You grimaced and tried to sit up, accidentally knocking Wanda’s head off your lap. Wait, Wanda was in the bed?

You nervously peered around, thankfully there was nobody else on the bed but Natasha was curled up on an armchair in the corner of the room, fast asleep. It took you a few minutes but you managed to piece together the scene. This was Wanda’s room, Natasha and Darcy were still wearing their party dresses from last night, Wanda was wearing red pyjamas and you were wearing…. A tuxedo?

You crawled off the bed, stopping in fright when you accidental kicked Wanda in the face but she only rolled over and carried on sleeping and you breathed a sigh of relief and continued to make your escape. As soon as you were standing upright you seriously considered just getting back into the bed. You felt weak, like you hadn’t had food or water in days and yet as soon as the thought of food crossed your mind your stomach started turning and nausea had you running/stumbling for the bathroom.

Ten minutes later and after sticking your head under the tap you tiptoed out of Wanda’s bedroom, leaning on the walls for support as you very very slowly made your way towards the kitchen. You needed to find someone who knew what had happened because you had absolutely no idea whatsoever. The last clear memory you had was of kissing Bucky.

You stopped in the hall and nearly toppled over. Bucky. Kissing. You and Bucky had kissed. Resisting the urge to slap some sense into yourself you tried to remember what had happened after that. You had flashes of Blonde hair and muscles and the taste of something sweet and honeyed. Oh God. God of Thunder to be precise. You must have gotten to try Thor’s mead.

You were hungover. You had gotten blackout drunk.

You desperately resumed your quest for the kitchen, needing more than ever to find somebody who could tell you what had happened. Your alcohol soaked brain finally remembered the way and after only one wrong turn and a detour past the gym you made it into the kitchen. Sam was sat at the counter, nursing a cup of coffee.

“Sam! Oh thank god, you have to help me.” You whisper shouted and threw yourself dramitically into his arms.

“Whoa, what’s wrong?”

“I’m hungover.” You lamented, a little teary eyed.

The heartless bastard snorted in amusement.

“It’s not funny, I think somethings really wrong with me. Maybe my Super Soldier Serum reacts badly with alcohol, I think I’m dying.” You sniffled.

“Oh baby, you’re not dying. It just feels like you are. The first hangover is always the worst.” He assured you, trying and failing to hide the smirk on his face.

“But I can’t remember anything about what happened, it’s all blank. My head feels like somebody is scooping my brain out with a blunt knife and my stomach feels all wrong. I can’t stop shaking.” You told him, holding out your trembling hand to illustrate.

“Trust me, that’s normal. I don’t feel so hot myself. Of course I’m a little more used to it and I didn’t get one taste of Thor’s mead and drink the entire flask.” He snorted.

“I did what?”

“Don’t worry, Thor thought it was hilarious.”

“Least of my worries Sam, least of my worries. What else did I do?” You asked with trepidation.

“I’m not sure, check your twitter account. Most of the highlights are on that.” He said with a shrug.

“My… My what?”

“You don’t remember that either? Darcy and that Parker kid convinced you to sign up for social media.” Sam explained, patting your pockets and pulling out your phone.

He unlocked it and after a few clicks turned the screen round to show you. Sure enough you were logged into ‘Twitter’ as…

“Baby-Stark-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do-Do?” You questioned.

“That was Parkers idea. Don’t ask, you don’t want to know the answer.”

You scrolled down the posts with a growing sense of shame. There were pictures and videos galore. You pressed play on one of the videos to see yourself being dancing to Mr Roboto with Iron Man. That video was especially popular. There was a picture of you mid arm wrestling match with Steve, thankfully there wasn’t a video of that, you’d be fucked if you’d revealed to the world you could hold your own with Captain America in strength.

“The Falcon is my favourite Avenger for anyone who was wondering, he’s the best looking and coolest!” You read out loud.

“They do say drunk people are honest.” Sam shrugged and tried to look innocent.

“Sam this is so bad, my dad is probably going to kill me.” You whined.

“I wouldn’t worry about that.” Sam said, taking your phone and clicking on Tony’s twitter profile.

Tony had retweeted a photo of you Dj’ing with an Iron Man helmet on your head with the caption ‘She parties like a Stark! So proud!’.

“None of this explains why I’m wearing a tuxedo or why I woke up in bed with Wanda and Darcy.” You pointed out, stealing Sam’s coffee.

“Can’t help you there but I have so many questions.” Sam said.

You didn’t answer, as soon as you’d tasted the coffee you moaned loudly and drained it like a vampire tasting blood for the first time. Maybe Clint was on to something when he drank it straight from the pot. Sam rolled his eyes and got up to make more.

“Where is everyone else?” You questioned, really wondering if he knew where Bucky was.

“Still sleeping probably. Steve and Buckinator are gone.” He said casually.

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Gone where, gone why?” You yelped.

“They left in the middle of the night. Steve said something about supporting Bucky.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly sober myself.”

“Did Bucky say anything?” You pressed.

“No, last time I saw Bucky you two were screaming at each other in the corridor.” He told you.

Oh no. This was bad. This was very very very bad. What had you done?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

After sneaking back into Wanda’s room to leave bottles of water and painkillers on the bedside unit for them and lamenting that aspirin couldn’t do a damn thing for you, you decided you needed to retrace your steps from last night to try and figure out what had happened. Bucky’s phone was switched off, as was Steve’s and you were growing more frightened by the second.

Still clad in the ill fitting tux you made the arduous trek downstairs to the floor where the party had been held, hoping to trigger some memories. There were cleaners milling about, bagging up all the evidence and you smiled politely at them as you made your way through the large room.

Nothing in your memories was shaking loose as you teetered around the room shakily and you sighed heavily, ready to give up and try something else when you spotted somebody on the bouncy castle. There was a dark haired man lying on it with his back to you. You crept over and leaned in curiously.

“Hello?” You called.

He sat up rapidly and groaned, holding his head in his hands. He glanced over his shoulder at you and did a double take.

“Oh hey! It’s you!” He exclaimed.

“Scott? What are you doing?” You enquired.

“I was at your party, I’m Scott Lang. You know, Ant Man?”

“Scott we’ve met like twice before.” You reminded him, holding out your hand to help him climb off the bouncy castle.

“Yeah but I wasn’t sure if you remembered me, you were really busy.” He said, accepting your hand and clambering down to stand beside you.

“Trust me, you make an impression.” You laughed.

“Sorry.”

“No, a good one.” You assured him.

“You look as bad as I feel, only with more shame and regret.” He noted.

You sighed heavily and sat down on the edge of the castle and he perched next to you with a patient and open expression.

“I think I fucked up, badly.” You admitted.

“Wanna talk about it? I know a lot about shame and regret.” He offered.

“I don’t know if I can explain it. Ok, there’s somebody here, on the team. We don’t get along and I kind of betrayed them a teeny bit but last night we made progress, really good progress. Great progress actually. But I think I got drunk and messed it up and now he’s gone and I don’t know if I can fix it because I don’t know what I did.” You rambled.

Scott looked a little overwhelmed.

“Wow. Ok, that is a lot more information that I was expecting.”

“Yeah.”

“Well if we can figure out what you did, you think you can try and fix things? That doesn’t sound too complicated. I bet we can do this, you just need to try and remember what happened.”

“I’ve been trying. That’s why I’m down here.” You explained.

“What’s the last thing you remember?” He asked.

“Um, Thor I think? Sam said I drank all the Asgardian mead.” You admitted ruefully.

Scott blinked at you in awe.

“Well that’s a start. Hey lets ask around, the more you can piece together about what happened the better your chances of remembering.” He suggested.

“We? You wanna help?” You asked.

“Sure, it’ll be fun. Probably.” He smiled goofily.

“Besides, every great detective needs a sidekick. Sherlock and Watson, Inspector Gadget and penny… That’s all the examples I have. Come on.” He said, walking off with a spring in his step.

You sighed and shrugged. You didn’t have any better ideas so you got up and followed him.

“Wait, which one of us is the sidekick in this scenario?” You asked.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Well that doesn’t look good...” You remarked.

There was a fist sized hole in the corridor wall. You placed your fist into it but it was clearly made by someone with much bigger hands. Sam had said you and Bucky were arguing in the corridor last night and whatever you had said to him, it looked like it was bad enough he’d punched the wall.

“Hey, there’s another one over here.” Scott called to you from further down the corridor.

You went over to him and saw what he was pointing at. There was a large crack in the plaster, much much bigger than a fist. In fact, it was similar in size to you. You looked behind you and saw that the hole was parallel to the stairs. A fuzzy memory began to play in your head and you pulled your shirt up. Sure enough there were fading bruises along your side.

“Uh, I think I may have tried to use Caps shield as a sledge to go down the stairs.” You admitted with a blush.

“Cool!” Scott exclaimed and then looked at the hole in the wall again.

“Or maybe not so cool.” He decided.

“Very not cool.” You agreed with a wince as you remembered hurtling down the steps and into the wall.

“But hey, at least you remembered something. This is working! Let’s keep going!”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The next piece of the puzzle to be solved was in the lab where Banner was working. As soon as he saw you he backed away.

“Are you sober?” The doctor asked you nervously.

“Yes? Why?” You asked.

“Because last night you asked me if you could fight the Hulk and film it. You said Vernichtung Vs The Incredible Hulk would be the greatest death match in history.” Bruce explained.

“I mean, it kind of would.” Scott said while the colour drained from your face.

“I am so sorry Bruce! I would never do that, I swear.” You protested.

“It’s ok, I think you were joking. Besides, I’m pretty sure Darcy put the idea in your head.” He said placatingly.

You were still horrified as you remembered asking Thor if he wanted to referee the fight. You hurriedly apologised to Bruce and fled the lab, your face burning. Scott waved bye to Banner cheerily and ran after you.

“Where to next?” He asked.

“Far away from Bruce.” You said as your feet led you back to the kitchen.

Sam had left and now Clint was perched on the counter drinking coffee. You snatched to pot from his hands and started chugging it.

“Whoa, rude.” Clint snapped.

“Did I do anything last night you wanna tell me about? Steal your bow and pretend I was Merida or something equally stupid?” You groaned.

“No, nothing like that. Well you did ask if I kept animals on the farm and cried for ten minutes when I said I had chickens and phoned my wife to ask her to let you say hi to them.” Clint told you with a snort.

Now that he mentioned it you did sort of remember Laura Barton inviting you to come and see the chickens for yourself and meet the children.

“Oh yeah. Wanda and I are coming to your farm for the weekend.” You admitted.

“I know, the kids are excited.”

“Well, that’s not so bad.” Scott remarked.

“Yeah, at least I didn’t bodily injure myself or challenge him to a fight.” You agreed.

“I don’t want to know, yet I kind of do.” Clint said and Scott hurriedly filled him in while you smooshed your head into your arms on the counter.

“WANDA!” You shrieked, startling both the men.

You wish you had thought of this sooner, you could have saved yourself some time. You rushed away at a faster pace than your body could handle and had to stop in the hall to lean against the wall and rest.

“Wanda I want my memories back.” You yelled, storming into her room.

She was sat on the edge of the bed and you noticed Darcy and Natasha were gone as the witch looked up at you in fear and alarm.

“Your memories? You can’t!” She protested.

“What? Why? I need to figure out what happened last night. Can’t you just… you know?” You asked, imitating the hand gestures she used.

“Last night? Oh, uh I can’t do that. It doesn’t work like that I am afraid.” She informed you, colour returning to her face.

“Ugh. Can you at least remember anything that happened? Any arguments I may have gotten into or something I might have to apologise for?” You asked hopefully.

“I remember very little after karaoke I’m afraid Sestra.” She told you apologetically.

“After what now?”

“You mean you don’t have any recollection of singing?” She said with an evil smirk.

“Oh no. Just tell me.” You whined, throwing yourself onto the bed face down.

“You gave a very emotional performance of Bad Romance.” She sniggered.

“Please just kill me.” You begged.

“If it makes you feel any better, Darcy sang ‘I Touch Myself’ to The captain.”

“You know what, that does make me feel better.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You tracked down Scott who was still in the kitchen, his head in the fridge.

“Wanda can’t help, though she did give me the rundown of my short lived pop career.” You informed him with a sigh.

“Don’t look so down, we’re making great progress.” He told you through a mouthful of cold take out.

“No, we’re finding out all the embarrassing things I did. I’m no closer to finding out what I did to Bucky.” You said mournfully.

“So that’s what this is about? You and The Winter Soldier? You know what, I can kind of see it.” Scott said, squinting at you.

“See what?”

“You and Barnes. You’d make a good couple.”

“What? That’s not what… I didn’t… No.” You spluttered.

Scott grinned at you and you knew you’d given yourself away.

“If you tell anyone I will hunt you down and introduce you to my bloodthirsty alter ego.” You vowed and he went pale.

“No, I wouldn’t. I was just saying, I’m on your side.” He hurriedly assured you.

“I know. Thanks Scott, I appreciate you trying to help but I don’t think this is working.”

You dragged yourself to the couch, accepting that you had messed things up with Bucky again and you didn’t know how.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It wasn’t until you got back to your own room that everything fell into place. In hindsight, you really should have gone there first. Especially since you were still wandering around in Tony’s Tuxedo. Yeah, Darcy had finally relented and informed you that she had dared you to steal one of Tony’s suits and wear it back down to the party. She hadn’t specified she had meant the Iron Suits and you had raided your dads closet for the expensive Italian tux.

You had pulled it off and taken a shower, padding over to your bed in a funk you tried once again to call Bucky and yet again it went straight to voicemail. You didn’t bother leaving a message, you wouldn’t know what to say. You sighed heavily and threw yourself onto the mattress, landing on something hard and pointy. You grumbled and pulled it out from under your stomach. It was a book, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley. You frowned and flipped the front cover open. There was a note on the inside.

My dear Vernichtung,

I was sorry to hear about your mothers untimely demise, such a tragedy. Still, I am heartened to hear you are able to celebrate and decided to send you this gift. I believe you will find this book to your liking.

I will see you very soon.

Your Creator.

Your chest tightened and everything snapped back into place, all your memories of last night. Finding the book in a pile of gifts and running out of the party. Bucky had followed you into the corridor, worried about you. Through shaky breaths you had tried to explain, showing the book to him. He had been incandescent with rage, putting his fist through the wall. Your own fury had ignited and you had screamed until your throat was raw, wanting to know how he got the book into the compound, wanting to kill him.

You knew you should feel afraid right now but you were too relieved. You hadn’t fucked things up with Bucky. He had tracked down the caterer who had slipped the book into your pile of gifts. A young woman who had been paid an obscene amount of money to sneak the book into the compound, she had thought it was harmless since it was only a book and she needed the money to pay her college fee’s. She had told Bucky everything, about how a man had approached her during one of her breaks at the Catering Company in LA. Bucky had dragged Steve out of the party after begging you to try and put it out of your mind and go back to the celebrations and promised he would call you when he tracked down the mysterious man who had given the girl the book.

Docherty was doing all he could to torment you and proving he could get to you anywhere. Bucky was doing everything he could to help you feel safer, leaving your party and flying to LA for you. You really hadn’t fucked this up at all Docherty be damned, you were happy.

You threw your head back onto the pillow and laughed, jumping up when your phone rang. The screen was completley blank, no caller registered at all. With apprehensiveness you picked up.

“Hello?”

“Miss Stark, this Is Nicholas J Fury. I need your assistance with something. In precisely ten minutes the security systems in the compound will be down for exactly sixty seconds. If you agree to help us you will need to use that time to get out of the compound unnoticed.”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“Because there is a very rich and powerful man who has managed to create a deadly virus he plans to unleash on an unsuspecting population in a war torn country. We can’t call The Avengers, they are too public and this man is to powerful. We need somebody unknown, somebody highly skilled. I am asking you to climb out of your ivory tower to save lives, a lot of lives.”

“And I can’t tell anybody why?” You demanded suspiciously.

“Plausible deniability. The man in possession of this virus has contacts within the UN. This mission is not sanctioned by the accords and neither are you. Millions of lives are at stake and you have eight minutes and sixteen seconds left. Are you in or do I need to find myself another hero, one who cares more about doing the right thing than getting their daddy’s permission?”

Your mind whirled as you tried to decide what to do. What was the right answer here? Did you betray Tony again and sneak away again or did you hang up the phone and let somebody else take care of this? Millions of innocent lives VS Tony’s trust, what were you supposed to do? Did you even trust Fury? Would Tony forgive you if you did it? Would somebody else stand as high a chance as you of doing this?

You took a deep breath and gave your answer.

“I’ll do it.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

I can’t believe that I have just hit over 50k words with this chapter. Thank you to each and every person who is reading, I’m so freaking grateful!

@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first@chook007@thejourneyneverendsx@thelostallycat@inquisitor-selvala@the-corruptor @iovher@kendrawr-kitkat@phoenix-whiskey-tears @the–real-wombat@buckitybarnes@fairislesheets@angieptt @meganjonezzzz

@dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty@memanda17@krystallynx@theonelittleone

@piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes@tarastudiesalot@captainamericasbeard

[nekoabi]

Fic Masterlist!

I finally made a post version of my masterlist, which allows it to be viewed on mobile! Everything is also available on my AO3, which is also NekoAbi. 

The Five Times Patton Smiled And The One Time It Didn’t Reach His Eyes - Angsty. Romantic Royality. Romantic Prinxiety. Implied NSFW. College AU. School AUri

Admitting It - Romantic Logicality. Kiss. Sleepy boys. Terrible Title Syndrome.

Stitches -  Hurt/Comfort. Platonic Moxiety. Patton tears.

Falling For You - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logicality. Romantic Prinxiety. Platonic LAMP. One-sided (for now). Implied NSFW dreams. Implied wet dream. Swearing. Logan and Roman being know-it-all lil pieces of shit. School AU.

Planning - Platonic LAMP. Fluffy shenanigans.

Snow - Platonic LAMP. Virgil enjoys the snow. Pain mention, Self-inflicted pain.

Calm - Platonic LAMP. Its a calm day and Virgil gets introspective. Food mention.

Library - MASTERLIST! MASTERLIST (Rewrite) Library AU. All pairings, a different pairing each chapter, ending with LAMP. Cute fluff. Falling in love in different ways. Logan, head librarian. Patton, hired work. Virgil, volunteer. Roman, volunteer.

Too Close For Comfort - Past Prinxiety. Crying, Break Up. Roman is processing a break up, maybe some music can help.

Royality vs. Analogical - Romantic Royality, Romantic Analogical. Food mention, kissing. Each relationship is different; some are loud, some are quiet.

Nerdy - MASTERLIST! Romantic Logince. High School AU. Logan’s always been a lone wolf, but recently someone’s just been playing on his mind.

Fragrance of Dark Coffee - Romantic Prinxiety. Angst. Major Character Death Prior To Events. Influenced by Ace Attorney.

On the Verge of a Heartbreak - MASTERLIST! Eventual Moxiety. Angst in later chapters. School AU.

His Last Chance - Prinxiety. Angst. Implied cheating, lots of sadness.

Prompt Fill Fic Collection - University AU. Most LAMP ships. A collection of 9 prompt fill fics.

Logan’s Birthday - Written for Logan’s Birthday 2018. Platonic LAMP. Food mention, happy crying.

Tea Break -  Patton finds Roman having some issues with homework. Platonic Royality. Food mention. School AU.

Hands - Soft Logince. Roman’s frustrated by something.

Of Princes and Potions - MASTERLIST! Pining Logince. Royal Fantasy AU. Sympathetic Deceit. Mentions of war and injury. Chapter 6 involves blood, swords, knives, injury and strong anxiety attack parallels.

Rain On Me/You’re Perfect/The Way You Held My Hand/Stupid Band - School AU. Virgil is new to the school, meets a cute boy, can’t handle it. Themes of personal isolation.Chapter 3 had allusion to self-harm and talk of injury. Based off of a songs from Emo the Musical.

If I Can’t Love Her - Based off of a song of the same name. Roceit. Sympathetic Deceit. Roman hears a new singing voice, and needs to find out who it is.

Perfect - Romantic Royality. Kissing, Playfighting. Roman and Patton begin by playfighting, end up doing something they didn’t expect.

My Hero - Romantic Moceit. Kidnapping, Gangs, Violence, Fighting. Patton is kidnapped, and all he wants is for his boyfriend to come and save him... but that would never happen... right?

Ultraviolet - Logince. Past Prinxiety. Swearing, alcohol mention, past FWB relationship. Roman’s crushing on a fellow teacher and his inner performer can really help with that.

Bad Day - Implied Romantic Mox. Panic attack. Virgil has a bad day, Patton knows how to help.

Animals Know Best - Logicality. Prinxiety. Soulmate AU. Everyone has a partner animal that chooses them which not only has traits of their soulmate, but will also lead them to their soulmate. Virgil doesn’t believe in it all too much, until he can’t help but admit it.

Insomnia - Remile. Insomnia talk, mention of sleep therapy, mention of smoking. Remy’s dealing with some really bad insomnia and he’s referred to a sleep specialist. Yet the most interesting thing is the receptionist who works there...

Torn Apart - Heavy Angst with a happy ending. Lots of violence; stabbing, cutting off limbs, strangulation, choking, head injuries. Wrath is an OC of mine, he’s an angry man. Virgil sets him off. It’s a bad time.

Lullaby for a Duke - Remus mention. Based off of Lullaby for a Princess, an MLP song and animation.

Ranking Up - MASTERLIST! Splatoon Sides. Deceit and Remus are involved. 

Lies - Virgil-centric. Angst. Unhappy Ending. Suicide, Alcohol, Dangerous Driving, Car Crash, Death, Suicide (both implied and described), Implied Abusive Deceit. Based off of Lies by McFly.

This Day Aria - Villain!Deceit. Based off of the same song from MLP:FiM.

It’s (Im)possible - Roceit. “What you just asked for is impossible” and “Fuckbuddies falling in love”.

I’m Fine! - School AU. Roman’s sent to the councillor’s office against his will. Sure, he may have mentioned something in drama, but he’s fine!

Headache - No AU. Thomas has a headache and it affects where the sides reside... and to Roman more than the others.

Paint Me - Royality. Human AU. Struggling artist Roman needs some inspiration and the stranger knocking at his door is just what he needs. Based off of Paint Me from Firebringer.

To Love a Remus - Demus. No AU. Remus is an idiot, but Deceit thinks he’s hot anyway. Blood and Injury mention. Birthday fic for @doces-e--tuga

Virgil the Small Purple Emo - Moxiety. Love Makes You Grow AU. Virgil was unloved at a young age and stopped growing. A chance meeting might change his life. Secret Santa for @midnightsdarkangel (also my first and probably last attempt at GT)

Battle Bonds - No AU. Thomas is on a Pokemon kick and its affecting his imagination more than he could... well... imagine.

Theatre Technicians are basically Vampires - Vampire/Human AU. They all live in one house, work at the same place and are vampires. Angst included about their pasts which include the following: attacks, blood, talk of death, injury, scarring and attempted suicide.

Recreating - MASTERLIST! No ships. No AU. Thomas liked to watch Disney movies. That fact was one of the least surprising things about him. He could sit down and watch almost any of the Disney movies and have a wonderful time. Sometimes, scenes from those movies got stuck in his head. He never thought anything of it. 

Love on the Fly Floor - Theatre AU. Prinxiety, Roman is crushing bad on one of the flymen for the show he’s on. When his birthday rolls around, the cast and crew give him a surprise.

While The Sides Are Away, Virgil Will Play - No AU. The sides have a day out and leave Virgil at home. They don’t expect to come home to him looking... like that.

How Not to Help Your Nerd Boyfriend Find a Swimsuit - Human AU. Intrulociet. Logan needs a swimsuit. His boyfriends want to help. They are no help. Birthday fic for @cloverlyanxious/ @maeofclubsandart

Pier Pressure - Human AU. Logince/Pining Moxiety. The four go to the lake to hang out, Roman’s mad that his brother and friend are so clearly into each other but not taking the hint.

The 5 Times Patton Tripped and the 1 Time He Fell (In Love) - Human AU. 5+1 fic. Moxiety. Patton falls a lot, has done since birth. Doesn’t mean everyone’s used to it.

Remus Kidnaps You - Idk AU... mix of canon and human, maybe? No Ship. Remus kidnaps you to play with your hair. That’s about it.

Oh My God, They Were Roommates - Human/College AU. Prinxiety. Virgil meets an old friend, gets a crush on him, walks into him basically naked, freaks out. Ends happy.

Heatwave - Sides-Are-English Human AU.  There’s a heatwave. All the roommates are shedding their usual clothing for something cooler, except one.

Explainable Coincidences - Human/Teen AU. The twins explore an abandoned hotel, but they didn’t expect others to be there too.

Don’t Think Twice - Human AU. Song Fic. Roceit. It’s the happiest day of their lives, yet they still reflect on where they started from.

Keeping It Quiet - Human/Influencer AU. Prinxiety. Virgil and Roman keep their relationship quiet on social media. Not silent, just quiet.

Don’t Drink And Livestream, Especially When You’re Famous - Human/Famous AU. Platonic Roceit. Being drunk, drinking, kissing. Janus tries to help his friend get over his ex.

A Simple Mistake With A Simple Solution - Human AU. Logince. Roman messes up, Logan’s pissed. Roman makes it easy.

Skipping Ahead A Few Steps - Human AU. Logicality. Patton brings a dog home, Logan’s baffled and confused.

Oh How The Tables Have Turned... - Royal AU. Roceit, background Intrulogical. Roman’s brother likes Roman’s retainer. Roman doesn’t think he likes his brother’s. He’s wrong.

Just Like In The Fairy Tales - Semi-Fantasy/Royal AU. Royality. Patton sneaks off to his favourite place to enjoy the view.

An Apple A Day... Hurts Like A Bitch - No AU. Platonic Sides. The 5 times Janus got apples thrown at him and the 1 time he threw one at everyone else.

–

TVFH Related Stories

Pocky Day - Written for Pocky Day 2018. Shenanigans with TVFH cast and the pocky game.

Coffee Break - Virgil returns to his room and finds Reggie having problems with homework. School AU.

House Party - Roman throws a house party after a show. Mention of drunken behaviour and alcohol.

Beach Trip -  It’s hot, the gang decide to go to the beach. The night before, shenanigans ensue. Sexual implications. Relia focused.

--

FFXV Fics

Type Found - Pokemon AU. Prompto finds a Pokemon in an imperial base, saves it and plot things happen. The boys have partner pokemon.

Hair Troubles - No AU. Ignis can’t get his hair right and it’s frustrating. Prompto steps in to help.

Prompto’s Bike - Pre-Roadtrip. OT4 Chocobros. Prompto has a motorbike. The other bros really like it.

Cor’s Cooking Lesson - Pre-Roadtrip. Cor finds young Ignis attempting to cook and helps out.

[wewerepromisedsomuch]

Album Review: Indoor Pets

Artist:  Indoor Pets

Title:  Be Content

Record Label: Wichita Recordings

Release Date: 8th March 2019

Rating: 8.0/10

We spend a lot of time being told, directly or indirectly, we must be perfect, we must iron out all our flaws. The funny thing is, sometimes are flaws can be our most endearingly qualities. Indoor Pets, the quirky four piece from Kent have encapsulated the notion of being a weirdo and an outsider, and wrapped it up in a huge power-pop record that celebrates imperfection rather than chastise it. This is typified by the roaring, anthemic tones of ‘Be Strange’ that has vocalist/guitarist Jamie Glass announce “I have regrets and disappointments/I can’t pretend I don’t/I’m trying my best to be the worst at anything people want/cause I love being strange/it’s an easy thing for me/where are all the other freaks living now?”. ‘Be Content’ is a celebration for those of us that have never felt like we really fit in.

Somewhere on the musical map there’s a pin between the geeky pop-punk of Weezer and the studious, button-down collared collegiate punk of Vampire Weekend; if you were to extract the catchiness of Ash and Parklife-era Blur at their most English, that pin becomes Indoor Pets. This is a band that’s happy to expose their idiosyncratic side, be it via social media posts, interviews or embracing their strangeness on debut LP ‘Be Content’. This is an album that twitches with a youthful vigour, where choruses are propelled at full pelt, just waiting to be sung along by festival crowds and where energy levels are mostly kept at an exuberant high. Imagine if you will, shovelling in handful after handful of Haribo before hitting a festival located on a bouncy castle and you’ve got Indoor Pets. Although, in-amongst the sugary highs, there are some soured lows lurking in lyrics and the occasional moments where ‘Be Content’ dips into swooning melancholy, most notably on ‘The Mapping of Dandruff’.  This delicate, vulnerable spot on the quartet’s first outing is where Glass reflects “I’m so human it hurts”, as tenderness ebbs and flows with a touching dose of sentimentally. ‘Heavy Thoughts’ finds the band switching from near-nothingness to spasmodic blasts of gnarled art-rock. The band’s frontman announces the song with the cry of “lately I’ve been tired of sleeping in/it’s borderline being alone”. The record’s closing track ‘My Amnesiac’ finds the two worlds of Indoor Pets coalesce; spectral guitars envelope Glass’ brittle yet reassuring words “if kind words are frozen/you can thaw them/you can thaw them/and solitude is chosen but can be undone” before a bevy of revving riffs and clattering drums ramp up the volume levels for a fist pumping call to arms with the emphasis of shaking off whatever fug is consuming you. When Indoor Pets flex their Weezer-like muscles on ‘Crouch’, you get a broad sweep of quiet/loud dynamics and the repercussions of past generation’s mistakes “dear baby boomer/tell me how I’m supposed to find my own path now?”.

‘Be Content’ is strewn with self-analytical lyrics and moments of self-deprecation but when they’re encased by the group’s energetic, anthemic alt-rock, these moments of reflection become nothing short of joyous. Fan favourite ‘Teriyaki’ is a squirming riot that turns itself inside out as it ripples with an infectious danceability even if Glass can be heard hollering “maybe you got 99 problems and we’re all going to hell”. There’s no mucking about when ‘Pro Procrastinator’ leaps into action; this is Indoor Pets at full tilt, sprinting through a 100mph dash of frenzied guitars and battered drums; which is funny when Glass sings “I’m wasting my life”, when clearly this song wastes little time in its 2-minute lifespan. The same can be said for ‘Cutie Pie, I’m Bloated’, another breathless charge through rock ‘n’ roll being pushed to it’s redline. When the staccato rhythms are wheeled out via the Two Door Cinema Club-esque mix of jaunty rhythms, tropical notes disguises Glass agonising his own standards “when there’s no merit in myself”. Then there’s the summery pop-rock of ‘Mean Heart’; singalong choruses mesh with punchy guitar strokes and robust drums but the sunshine vibes are partially obscured by Glass’ confessions “I’ve got a mean heart and it’s ready to stop”.

Be content. Be Happy. Be Indoor Pets.

[citrontartellete]

Since this year is the 10th anniversary Twilight’s saga, I thought that would be funny :), it is really silly and simple.

Movie Night :

The TV was above a whisper on the live room of their private house. Armand was nestled at Marius’ side wearing one of his beloved Masters’ sweaters, it is his favourite a grey wool jumper bought on a department store in London, and smelled like him, the piece of clothe almost reaching his thighs a skinny jeans and comfy mismatched socks on his feet.

Marius is drawing on his newest obsession, a tablet specially designed for digital drawing, not looking up once to see what kind of move his Amadeo looked so immersed in. But by the dialogues he recognized it, the silly vampire movies the human kids watched it was a rather silly saga, quite honestly ! Vampires sparkling !!

And saying such melodramatic things to their lover, by Gods ! Amadeo seemed to like it, so he didn’t said anything and kept enjoying Amadeo’s pressure at his side, his hand around Marius’ forearm in a light comforting grip, his head on his shoulders.

Edward Cullen: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

Bella Swan: What a stupid lamb.

Edward Cullen: What a sick, masochistic lion

He felt when his angel shifted very little and his eyes move slowly to watch his reaction. He could feel the other biting his lips.

Edward Cullen: You don't know how long I've waited for you.

He felt Amadeo, getting even closer near him, like he wanted to melt into him.

Edward Cullen: I don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore.

This time, he was the one who shifted. The silly statement hit him deep on his own emotions, so he leaned a little and kissed Amadeo’s soft curls.

Armand closed his eyes leaning on to the touch, welcoming it and smiling kissing Marius shoulder gently.

Edward Cullen: You're like my own personal brand of heroin.

‘You feel like that to me you know...’ Armand whispered resting without looking at his master, if he was mortal his cheeks would surely burn bright red with this confession. He never said anything of the sort to Marius, usually he was the one who said that sort of thing to him and he never said anything in return just kissed him or anything else. He heard his master smile, and kiss his ear. He felt a little of disappointment on his chest. He is here, saying to Marius that he is practically addicted to him and he only smile ? He bit his lips and reasoned with himself, maybe he was surprised by it, yes !

Edward Cullen : It makes me . . . anxious . . . to be away from you, you know.

‘I feel like that too master...’ Armand said again. It was so true. Every time Marius walked outside the door and after a few hours he didn’t came back home, Armand would blown his every social media with messages and calls. His first thought was that someone had take his master away, that they would be apart again. The thought drove him mad. This time Marius did not said anything. The movie ended. The second movie was about to start.

‘Marius you haven’t watched the movie with me’ Marius shivered. Hear his name, on his angel mouth is a moment of bliss he didn’t deserved.

‘Pardon me, my love...but this movie is a little melodramatic...’ the man said fully facing his lover, hurt on his cherub beautiful eyes ‘But I heard, what you said, love’ the blonde man put his tablet down.

Armand’s eyes widened in shock and he felt Marius pushing him into his lap, gently wrapping his around his waist, he immediately threw his arms around his neck :

‘Sorry again, my love. Do you want me to say those things like the boy in the movie or a ending like that? With my cold lips on your neck ?’

Armand didn’t answered and shivered when Marius’ cobalt eyes sparkled

‘Amadeo, you always had been my existence from the night one, when I heard your pleas I knew, I was yours. Yours, for as long as the stars shine. You are my sun, my own galaxy and I do orbit around you, around you’ while he said that, Marius placed small kisses around his jaw and slowly down his neck and he closed his eyes again getting lost into the touch ‘You are the only god I worship. There’s no world without you to me, I cannot live without you and I love you Amadeo...’

Armand shivered and felt his master tongue only placing open mouthed kisses on his neck, grazing his teeth, he held tighter on Marius body and whispered gently:

‘I love you too master’

‘I know, my love’

Really hope you enjoyed it ;)

[thesydneyfeminists]

Joss Whedon and Vee: It’s Complicated

By: Vee H.

Here’s the thing, I have a confusing relationship with Joss Whedon. If we were “Facebook official” (does anyone still call it that, or have I just revealed my true spiritual age of 105?) our relationship status would be “it’s complicated”. It didn’t used to be like that; as a teenager, I probably would have said my favourite tv show was Buffy The Vampire Slayer, with its spin-off, Angel, in second place. I fell in love with a premise that Whedon certainly did not create (one girl in all the world, blah blah) nor was he the best at executing it. Whether it was the characters he’d created, the actors playing them, the witty scripts and storylines – or a mix of all of these things, I was hooked. I staunchly defended the show, and by proxy, Whedon himself, from any harsh criticisms, and overlooked anything that now, as a 32-year-old, stands out as (and I hate using this word) problematic. I followed him from Buffy; to Angel, Dr Horrible’s Singalong Blog, Dollhouse (look, I skipped Firefly for some reason, I’ve tried dipping a toe in but space cowboys aren’t for me, it seems), and that’s not to mention the movies he had a hand in (not an exhaustive list) – The Cabin in the Woods, The Avengers and The Avengers Age of Ultron. I was loyal, if Whedon’s name was attached, most likely, I was all in. There was something comforting and familiar about his humour, the way he told his stories – all of them laughably simple but layered to make them more complex. Like Shrek and onions.

So maybe you’re wondering where I took a left turn, jumped off the Joss Whedon Fan Train, as it were. Admittedly, it was a slow process, it wasn’t just a running leap off into the unknown post-Whedon world. A few years after Angel ended, some things circulated in the Buffy and Angel fandoms, rumours of how he treated his favourites, and those who had fallen out of favour with him. One of those people being Charisma Carpenter. In 2009 at a convention, a fan asked her how she felt about Cordelia’s last story line in Angel and how the show changed after her departure. While she didn’t explicitly come out and say the exact reason, she hinted that Whedon had been mad at her for making certain life decisions that would directly impact the vision he had for his show. Rumours have long since abounded that, in short, he punished her for falling pregnant. Obviously, no one but Carpenter and Whedon know the true story and at the time of hearing it, I took it with a grain of salt, but that seedling sat in the back of my mind and began to grow. After all, it explained a lot about the fourth season of Angel, and why the character of Cordelia made a complete 360. It was here that my relationship with Whedon started to sour, I began to question how someone who was so outspoken and publicly proud to be a feminist, could treat a woman that he had worked with for nearly a decade like that.

With that knowledge in mind, it was hard not to view some of the dialogue and plot points in his media a little differently, this is only one small example, but looking back, there is way too much slut shaming going on in Buffy to the point where Faith (my favourite character in the whole series, don’t @ me, I’ll defend her until I die) is seen as a lesser person than everyone else, because other female characters (Willow, Cordelia and Buffy herself) have branded her as a “cleavagey slutbomb”. Sure, ok, she goes and kills a bunch of people but they focus on her being slut much more than a psychopath – and I feel the need to point out that we only actually saw her sleep with one person (Xander) by the time the slut shaming actually started, and not that we should count, but Faith only slept with three people (Xander, Robin, and Riley in Buffy’s body) in the whole course of the show. And she killed four humans. Which means in Joss Whedon’s world, if you’re a woman, having sex is a worse crime than murder. Not exactly a feminist message.

Cut to just last year, when Whedon’s ex-wife, Kai Cole, came out with a heartbreakingly honest account of just what went down in their marriage. Details of his infidelity, gaslighting and emotional manipulation came spilling out of her, and sure, you could argue she was an embittered ex-wife, wanting to hit him where it would hurt the most, but it’s interesting to note that Whedon himself has never actually outright denied or refuted these claims. And ok, infidelity does not strip you of the right to call yourself a feminist, but as written by Clementine Ford “it's about how he absolved himself in a letter sent to Cole after his infidelity had finally been exposed, blaming the women he cheated with, calling them "beautiful, needy, aggressive young women" who "surrounded" him.” It’s about how he used his feminist badge as a shield, claiming he was raised feminist so he just liked women better, or how he claimed in a letter to Cole, and I quote, “in many ways I was the HEIGHT of normal, in this culture. We’re taught to be providers and companions and at the same time, to conquer and acquire — specifically sexually — and I was pulling off both!”

With all of these things in mind, I started to see Whedon’s feminism as what it likely is; performative, a way to excuse his behaviour, a safeguard to hide behind as if to say, “oh no, I am not like other men at all, although I may act as other men do and fully accept my privilege as a cis-het white male, I’m different. Because I’m a feminist so when I do these terrible things to women, it’s ok, because I love, respect and support women.” Maybe he truly believes he’s a feminist, publicly, he flies the flag very well, and there’s no denying he’s profited from this label, heralded as a great feminist hero, an ally to women everywhere. It’s only when you start to scratch the surface, peel back the layers of the Shrek-onion, do you start to see him for what he (in my mind) really is. A dudebro playing at being the nice guy, someone who says all the right things but whose actions don’t quite match up, in fact, they crumble under any real scrutiny (for further proof of this, go read the leak of the Wonder Woman script, allegedly by Whedon. If you can make it through the whole thing, I’ll buy you a coffee – hell if you can make it through the first 10 pages).

Where does that leave Joss and I then? I admit that I’m conflicted, in a culture that has moved more and more towards “cancelling” people I’m the proverbial fence sitter. I acknowledge that there are people, media, etc that are problematic (the dreaded word) and I think everyone has the right to decide whether or not to consume said media. And for myself, personally, I endlessly flip between the two schools of thought. I won’t watch anything new with Johnny Depp, nor anything from Woody Allen, for example, but I have gone back (since Amber Heard spoke of her abuse at his hands) and watched some of Depp’s older movies. Some people have told me that they disagree, that even watching his older stuff is wrong, that I should ban all forms of Depp media from my life otherwise I am giving him my tacit approval, and that’s their choice and their right, but I suppose I’m still working out where I want to draw the line. I (maybe naively and incorrectly) believe that I can view a piece of media and know its flaws, or the flaws of the person behind it, but still somewhat enjoy it for what it is, or the story it’s telling.

Maybe that’s where I am with Whedon, somewhere in between, neither in the black or the white, somewhere in the shades of grey, because that’s how life is sometimes. I don’t think he’s a fully bad person, nor do I think he’s a fully good person. I think he’s human, and humans are inherently flawed. And maybe that feels like a cop out, but it’s all I have to offer right now. My view of him will never be as it once was, and thus my viewing of the media he has created and produced will likely reflect that. Re-watching Buffy and Angel has become a different experience; I’m no longer blindly swept up in the twists and turns, the witty repartee between characters, but instead viewing through a different lens, one where I question what message he's really trying to send, what his true intentions are. Instead of laughing at every single joke, they never quite land right with me anymore, my childish naivety gone, replaced with the simmering anger of a woman who wonders why sexist jokes and judgements are supposed to be funny, why the rape of a female character is an excusable plot device to teach men a lesson. It’s exhausting to second guess someone I don’t even know, but this is the brave new world that a combination of his behaviour and my own feminist journey has left me in. These days, I wouldn’t ever say “I love Joss Whedon”, like I would’ve back in my teenage years, more likely you’ll find me saying “I loved Buffy but God it’s weird to watch as an adult”.

Like I said, it’s complicated.

Sources:

http://oranges8hands.tumblr.com/post/117924895453/charisma-carpenter-transcript-on-being-fired

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_igTbXKPck

https://www.thewrap.com/joss-whedon-feminist-hypocrite-infidelity-affairs-ex-wife-kai-cole-says/

https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/clementine-ford-why-joss-whedons-treatment-of-exwife-kai-cole-matters-20170821-gy16lx.html

https://indiegroundfilms.files.wordpress.com/2014/01/wonder-woman-aug7-07-joss-whedon.pdf

Image sources:

Yahoo.com

tenplay.com.au

[lesbiandanieljacobi]

Eleven Questions Meme! Except I got tagged three times, so you get thirty-three and they’re under a cut. 

From @phynali

1. if you were Not A Mammal, what (other) animal would you be? I’d rather like to be a kiwi. 

2. what AU would you kill to see someone write about your OTP? Okay I really would adore a Notting Hill ColdWave AU

3. do you like crossover fics/stories? (e.g., blending marvel and dc?) why or why not? If they’re written well, I love them. 

4. what’s the last piece of fiction you read that you would recommend? I re-read Good Omens on the train, so that. 

5. your thoughts about poetry? do you write it? I love it (Byron, Ginsberg, Hughes and Siken are my favorites) and I write it. 

6. what’s one period of history (from any place) you find interesting and want to either learn more about or teach others about? I want to know more about pre-Roman Britain and I love teaching people about Gay Lib or NZ history. 

7. salty or sweet? Depends on the occasion. 

8. feelings about gift-giving? enjoy it? find it burdensome? think it’s too commercial? ritualized? etc? I love it - I believe in the smaller version, though, little things with meaning, not big things. 

9. vampires: yay or nay? Anything but Twilight is yay. 

10. what’s one trope you love and can’t get enough of, no matter the medium in which it arises (tv, film, fic, etc)? I am a sucker for foe yay or arguing into kissing. 

11. are you a morning shower person or a night shower person? or the elusive bubble baths person? I’m a “after practice whenever that is” person. With “Hot Baths Because I Cannot Walk Thanks To Muscle Soreness” as a caveat. 

from @blackbat16

Do you watch countdown videos on YouTube? If so, do you put them on as background noise or actually pay attention to them? If not, what’s your go-to mindless YT entertainment? I don’t really? I do love Buzzfeed Unsolved and Assassin’s Creed play-throughs. 

If you start a book series and get past the first novel, only to find your interest waning, will you finish the series or will you abandon it entirely? I tend to drop it. Back in the day when I had more time I would have kept reading, but I’m a Humanities Major now and I have Too Much Reading. 

Do you like Shakespeare? YES. 

How many pillows are on your bed? How many of them are actually under your head while you sleep? Four, and three of them. 

Steampunk or solarpunk? Steampunk. (I just now had an idea about steampunk Labor Unions and I’m going to die if I don’t write this)

Have you ever addressed an idol/celebrity over social media and had them answer you? If so, tell! If not, what were you trying to talk with them about? I haven’t ever tried to talk to a celebrity on social media? I’m too scared.

When it comes to posters, do you use tape, adhesive putty, tacks, or do you frame them? Frame. 

What band/artist do you think you’ve listened to most in your life? Either Billy Bragg or Bastille. 

Funko Pops: yay or nay? YAY I have six and three in my dorm room. 

Do you pair and fold socks? (My mother doesn’t. Baffles me.) Yes, religiously. 

What’s an old meme you’d love to bring back? I loved i lik the bred I want it back. 

from @peppersandcats

1. What was your first favourite book? (If not book, movie.) Tamora Pierce’s Protector Of The Small

2. How often do you light candles? Whenever I can (which is not often bc my dorm won’t let us). 

3. Would you rather go on a road trip or have a party at your house/apartment? Road Trip, hands down. 

4. What was the last group event (can be ticketed) you went to that you were really happy to be at? My team does study sessions? Those are fun. 

5. What hobby/fandom do you enjoy but not get to talk about much? 

6. What’s your favourite breakfast? Omelettes with feta and spinach or skillets with bacon and potatoes and avocado. It’s a treat breakfast. 

7. What helps when you’re feeling sad? (It can be as weird or as small as you like, that’s fine. E.g. I watch the “Tiger Millionaire” episode of Steven Universe. A lot.) I make coffee, put on some music, and put on some really pretty make up. 

8. What’s the last piece of fiction you read that you’d want to recommend? The Luminaries. Iconic book. 

9. Zombies or the Cthulhu Mythos? Cthulhu - there’s so much more you can explore with it. 

10. How hard is it for you to declutter? I cannot clutter in the first place it gives me anxiety. 

11. What’s the neatest cryptid you know of? Where did you hear about it? A straight man who isn’t an ass or wearing salmon shorts on my college campus and it’s spoken of in whispers bc we don’t want the Haverbros to know we’re speaking of them (they might think we’re straight)

My Questions are:

What is one story you love from your family history?

Are you superstitious?

Do you believe in fairies?

What is a favorite quote for encouragement?

Name one character you identify with almost too much. 

What is your favorite non-English word?

If you could meet any dead writer, who would it be?

What is your favorite protest sign/slogan from the last year.

Do you have a style icon and if so, who?

What id one language you’d love to learn?

If you could live in any fictional universe, what universe? And what would be your profession?

I’m gonna tag @wreathedinscales @asexual-fandom-queen @diaaanaprince @runawaymarbles @forthegelt @robininthelabyrinth @tomasortega @katyakora @snarkysnartes @kingsmanassemble @1nickelonly. Have fun, guys!

[capturedrook]

I was tagged by @astralpenguin ! Rules: 1. Post the rules, 2. Answer the questions given to you by the tagger, 3. Write 11 questions of your own, 4. And tag 11 people

1. Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf. Extended lifespan with (presumably) no new reliances? That's pretty okay.

2. What’s your favourite star? Almach! So, so pretty.

3. What’s a sound you really love? Echoing, apparently. I got a reverb mod in Fallout that makes everything echo in the larger rooms/tunnels and I'm so very about that.

4. What about a sound you hate? Gah. Wet smacking sounds when someone's eating. Gross.

5. What calms you down? I actually have a list of sentences for easing anxiety (i.e. 'This isn't an urgent as it feels') posted on the back of my desk, next to my bed. Reading through them has been helping me work through a lot of panic lately.

6. What would you want written on your tombstone? Either 'Be Right Back' or 'You should see the other guy.'

7. What’s a random but interesting fact about yourself? I can mirror-write just as well as I can write forwards! It's actually easier in that I don't drag my hand through my words as I go, too, since I'm a lefty.

8. What’s something you wish didn’t exist and why? Uhh, societal pressure to keep toxic people in your life for various reasons (blood relations, having known someone for a long time, having history, etc). If someone's having a negative impact on your life, you don't owe them a damn thing.

9. Would you rather be able to stop time or turn back time and why? Stop time. Turning back time gets too complicated (and if I change things, I'm in a different timeline, so these aren't the same people I knew anyway).

10. When you binge watch tv shows, do you skip the opening? Oh, yeah. Definitely. I'll rewatch it at the end of the season/show though to pick up on the scenes and characters I wouldn't have recognized early on.

11. What’s the nosiest question you’ve ever been asked? "So why don't you talk to (abusive person) anymore?" After the asker knew what happened. He got smacked for asking, though.

The questions I’m setting are: 1. What do you want the most out of your life? 2. Are you ever too hard on yourself? 3. Is there any hobby you've always wanted to try? 4. What was your favorite thing as a child? 5. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? 6. What's your favorite project you're working on/that you've ever worked on? 7. What/who is your icon and what is it/are they from? 8. What song have you been listening to a lot lately? 9. Is there any piece of media (video game, book, tv show, movie, etc) that you feel a strong connection to? Would you recommend it to anyone? 10. Do you have a favorite color or color scheme? 11. What's your ideal morning like?

The people I'm tagging are (feel free to ignore~): @hi-i-ship-everything , @pathfinderguineapigs , @levoblivion , @raidye , @midnightecho404 @gentlect @fleetingmotivation , @honeycakeses , @writeheight , @glumshoe , @against-stars

And anyone else who feels like it.

[bangtaninink]

hello, it is I, potato anon, coming at you with more math vampire au. (1) Kim Namjoon knows that revenge is a dish best served cold. So when Yoongi plays a practical joke and the poppy seeds fly, Namjoon waits. He waits until he oh-so-casually passes by the door of Yoongi’s girlfriend’s classroom and sees Yoongi by the door, eyelashes fluttering behind the playing cards splayed coyly in front of his face, and an idea begins to percolate in his brain.

(2) After two months of careful, inconspicuous observation (“Stalking, Namjoon, I’m pretty sure that counts as stalking,” his girlfriend tells him later), Namjoon works out that Yoongi visits his girlfriend’s classes on Tuesdays, stopping by in the half hour that he has between lectures.

(3) Sometimes he blows kisses, sometimes he swings a pair of comically large fuzzy dice from his fingers, and sometimes he just gazes besottedly through the door at her until she busies her students with a sample problem and comes out to kiss him and shoo him away.

(4) Namjoon waits patiently through it all until on the ninth Tuesday, he finally sees it again: a deck of cards in Yoongi’s hands as he makes his way to the lecture hall. Namjoon whips out his phone just in time to get it Yoongi’s masterful performance on video. Snickering, he makes his way back to his office, where Jung Hoseok is waiting for office hours.“Say, Hoseok, didn’t you say that your class needed help with the traditional dance unit?”

(5) This is how Yoongi finds himself dressed in the robes of a court dancer from the thirteenth century, lips painted and cheeks rouged, dancing with sixteen female dancers from Hoseok’s class whom he had painstakenly taught how to properly swish and flick open a fan. They were performing for (among others) the president of the university.

(6) (“How did you get yourself into this situation?” his girlfriend huffs in laughter, a hand coming up to tug at the headpiece he hasn’t had time to take off yet.“I couldn’t say no to that kid! It’d be like kicking a puppy.” Yoongi pouts. “It’s all Namjoon’s fault.”“Hmm, you were pretty good, though,” she teases.He deadpans, “That’s because this dance was all the rage when I was a teenager.”)

(7) Yoongi doesn’t speak to Namjoon for three weeks. He only lets up when Namjoon brings him piece offering—a framed sheet of A4 paper, carefully drawn in with equilateral triangles. His eyes bulge and his grumpy façade disappears in an instant. “You’re really giving me this?”Namjoon nods sheepishly. “I spent three hours drawing it. All the numbers are perfect squares.”

(8) Tears come to Yoongi’s eyes. “This is the nicest thing that anyone’s ever done for me.” And like that, everything is back to normal. (“How am I going to top this for your next birthday present?” Yoongi whines.)

listen. this is actual gold.

equilateral triangles, i’m--

at lunch sometime the following week, when everything has been resolved, yoongi and his girlfriend get to work on their payback-turned-birthday-surprise plans. yoongi, having filled her in on every detail of namjoon’s earlier demise, suggests they come up with something subtle. something that won’t rouse namjoon’s suspicions straight away.

yoongi’s girlfriend suggests they bring in namjoon’s girlfriend.

yoongi beams.

(”you’re a fucking genius, babe.”

“i know. don’t act so surprised.”)

the three of them meet up while namjoon is busy with one of his lectures. naturally, namjoon’s girlfriend is over the moon to be involved.

once they’ve got namjoon’s actual birthday present out of the way -- “this guy i used to work with is the director over at the national museum of mathematics in new york, and he owes me big time. i guess it’s kinda convenient that namjoon’s been bugging me about visiting one day as well” -- they spend the next hour and a half brainstorming.

(”sesame seeds?”

“i use that all the time, yoongs. sorry.”

“chia seeds?”

“i use those too. wait. what’s the one thing namjoon hates the most?”

“....oh my god--”)

in the weeks approaching his birthday, the trio get to work on writing as many copies of a faux journal as they can, each with a varying degree of typos present. they set up a fake email, a fake profile for a new up-and-coming professor in namjoon’s field, because they know, they know, namjoon is always keeping track of the new shit coming out. it’s a shit ton of work, creating fake websites and all that, so much so that they enlist the help of a one professor jeon jeongguk in the arts/media department.

(jeongguk is more than happy the help. of course he is. by the next morning, he’s got a web of websites that go so deep even they get a little convinced by this fake professor’s fake existence.)

it’s yoongi who directs namjoon’s attention to a new journal he’d heard about in passing -- casually, of course.

namjoon is on his lunch break when he reads it.

ever the meticulous one, he spots the typo in an instant, and, like always, he sends a quick email out to this new professor, pointing out the error.

namjoon checks the next day, happy to see the journal’s been reuploaded with the corrected typo.

until, that is, he sees the other typos on the following page.

more typos, another email. 

another apology. more corrections.

a happy namjoon. a sad namjoon.

rinse and repeat.

it’s two days before his birthday and namjoon is stressed.

(”babe? you okay?”

“no.”)

he tries to explain the group at lunch why these typos are utterly unacceptable, but they just shrug it off, reasoning that everyone makes typos.

(“not twenty times over. who does that?”)

the plan almost caves in on itself when namjoon decides that emails are not enough, and calls their fake professor.

(it’s five seconds of hot-potato-esque passing of their cheap burner phone between namjoon’s girlfriend, yoongi, yoongi’s girlfriend, hoseok, and jeongguk. the phone ultimately ends up with a dumbfounded seokjin.

“hello, this is, uh... professor bang?”

“yes. hello. this is professor nam. we’ve been emailing back and forth for the last two weeks or so?”

“oh, yes. hello! what can i do for you?”

“well, i’m really sorry but it’s just... your typos...”

they’re trying hard not to burst out laughing as seokjin -- conveniently, a professor in the theatre department -- bullshits his way through a conversation with namjoon in a fake accent, that ends in them arranging to “meet”.

seokjin says, “he said he wants to meet up and give me some pointers on grammar and spelling. casually.”)

if namjoon has any complaints about meeting up with “professor bang” on his birthday, he doesn’t voice them.

he heads on down to the meeting place (he doesn’t seem to notice it’s that restaurant he and his girlfriend love to go to on special occasions, probably too focused on the prospect of finally doing some good for this professor bang dude), and tells the front he’s here with a reservation under professor bang.

the waiter leads him to the back, to a quiet function room, separated from the rest of the dining floor.

when he enters the room, he’s met with the back of a man.

he walks around the table to find taehyung with a fake mustache on, smiling coyly as he reads professor bang’s heavily flawed paper on cartesian geometry.

“what the fuck?!”

(NJ: ”wait. hyung, you wrote a fake paper just to get your revenge on me?”

YG: “you bet your ass i did.”

NJ: “but... the emails? the websites?”

YG: “that was jeongguk.”

JK: “happy birthday, hyung. thanks for the food.”

NJ: “wait. who did i talk to on the phone then?”

SJ: “me. you’re favourite hyung.”

NJ: “so... my birthday gift is knowing that these typos weren’t legit? that’s pretty cool.”

NJ’s GF: “no, your birthday present is tickets to the national museum of mathematics in new york, but whatever. if you want the typo thing, that’s cool too.”

NJ: “I LOVE YOU.”)

[funface2]

55 of Tim Vine’s most hilarious jokes and one-liners – iNews

Tim Vine, best-known for his his role on Not Going Out from 2006 to 2014, is a quick-witted connoisseur of comedy who often appears on best jokes lists that follow in the wake of festivals around the world.

Here are 55 of the comic master’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners:

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“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”

“I did a gig in a fertility clinic. I got a standing ovulation.”

“I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.”

“I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again.’”

“I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’”

“The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.”

“I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.’”

The ‘king of one-liners’, Tim Vine (Photo: Getty)

“I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: ‘How flexible are you?’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays.’”

“I’m against hunting. In fact, I’m a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.”

“This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’”

“I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.’”

“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.”

“I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’”

“I went down the local supermarket. I said: ‘I want to make a complaint – this vinegar’s got lumps in it.’ He said: ‘Those are pickled onions.’”

“I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.”

“I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.”

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

“I’m so lazy I’ve got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.”

“I’ve spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Dracula’s house. I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui.”

“I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.”

“Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.”

“I once did a gig in a zoo. I got babooned off.”

“Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said ‘you just can’t let it go can you?’”

“I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.’”

“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

“Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.”

“Do you ever get that when you’re half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was?’”

“Black Beauty – now there’s a dark horse.”

Tim Vine has won numerous best joke awards (Photo: Getty)

“I was reading a book – ‘The History of Glue’ – I couldn’t put it down.”

“I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said ‘You are.’”

“Exit signs? They’re on the way out!”

“Velcro? What a rip-off!”

“I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.’”

“I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.”

“I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’ He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’”

“I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P-something T-something R…”

“I was having dinner with my boss and his wife said, ‘How many potatoes would you like, Tim?’. I said ‘Ooh, I’ll just have one please.’ She said ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.’ ‘Alright,’ I said, ‘I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow.’

“A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!”

“I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: ‘What does surrender mean?’ I said: ‘I give up!’”

“This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’”

“I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said: ‘I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.’ He said: ‘You have to love Easter, baby.’”

“I used go out with an anaesthetist – she was a local girl.”

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

“I went to a Pretenders concert. It was a tribute act.”

“I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said ‘I want to buy an ice-cream’. He said ‘Hundreds & thousands?’ I said ‘We’ll start with one.’ He said ‘Knickerbocker glory?’ I said ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.’”

“I bought a train ticket and the driver said ‘Eurostar?’ I said ‘Well, I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin.’ Still, at least it’s comfortable on Eurostar – it’s murder on the Orient Express.”

“I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle?’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he?’”

“I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’”

“You know, I’m not very good at magic – I can only do half of a trick. I’m a member of the Magic Semi-circle.”

“My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes. He’s a catholic converter.”

“He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library’. I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books.’”

“And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said ‘Do you earn a living doing that?’ He said ‘Yes, this is my livelihood.’”

“I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet ‘Best Before End…’”

“So this bloke says to me, ‘Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?’ I thought ‘That’s all I need, a Je-hoover’s witness.’”

“So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went ‘T’PAU!’ I said ‘Don’t you mean KAPOW??’ He said ‘No, I’ve got china in my hand.’”

More jokes:

Paul Merton’s 36 best jokes and funniest one-liners from Have I Got News for You 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedian’s funniest jokes and quotes 34 of the best Valentine’s Day jokes and funniest one-liners 30 of Michael McIntyre’s best jokes and funniest one-liners Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May 25 of Dara Ó Briain’s best jokes and funniest quotes 38 of the funniest Russell Howard jokes The 28 funniest Greg Davies jokes and quotes The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 35 of the funniest jokes by Northern comedians The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) 26 of Seann Walsh’s greatest jokes 16 of Barry Chuckle’s greatest jokes 34 of Lee Evans’ funniest jokes and quotes 30 of Romesh Ranganathan’s funniest jokes and quotes 26 of Sara Pascoe’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of Eddie Izzard’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of David Mitchell’s funniest jokes and quotes 21 of Rhod Gilbert’s funniest jokes and one-liners 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes 41 of Stewart Francis’ most ingenious jokes and one-liners 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians 30 of Jack Whitehall’s funniest jokes 43 of the funniest Donald Trump jokes 100 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh and cringe 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds 105 of the best bad jokes 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 50 football jokes to make you laugh – or groan 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny 25 of Peter Kay’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 26 of Stewart Lee’s most gloriously acerbic jokes 49 of Monty Python’s funniest jokes 45 of Ricky Gervais’ funniest jokes 17 of Ken Dodd’s most ingeniously funny jokes 27 of Sarah Millican’s laugh out loud jokes 50 of Jimmy Carr’s funniest jokes and one-liners 50 of Milton Jones’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Tim Vine’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Frankie Boyle’s funniest (and darkest) jokes 25 of Charlie Brooker’s most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland – from Scotland

And some hilarious quotes:

29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jones’ comedy 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge Valentine’s poems: 32 most romantic quotes from history’s greatest poets 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death 30 of Stephen Fry’s funniest jokes and quotes Burt Reynolds’ greatest quotes – remembering the actor’s wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 23 of Outnumbered’s funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) 35 of Blackadder’s most cunning quips and insults 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes 25 of Rik Mayall’s greatest quotes 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 25 of the most ‘textbook’ Alan Partridge quotes 50 of the best lines from Peep Show 20 of The Young Ones’ most gloriously silly quotes

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Bài viết 55 of Tim Vine’s most hilarious jokes and one-liners – iNews đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/55-of-tim-vines-most-hilarious-jokes-and-one-liners-inews/

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'The Pocket book' Shocker - Ryan Gosling REFUSED To Movie With Rachel McAdams!

http://tinyurl.com/y6rl3hkr Are you able to imagine it’s the 15th anniversary of The Pocket book?? The basic romance adaptation that made us all fall in love with Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams got here out approach again on June 25, 2004. So what higher time than to relay our favourite not-so-fun truth concerning the filming? Related: Netflix CHANGED The Notebook Ending! Everyone knows Ryan and Rachel dated in actual life after assembly on the film — that chemistry was actual, y’all! — however do you know they sort of HATED each other, too?? Apparently they’d kind of a love/hate factor going? Director Nick Cassavetes spilled the tea from behind the scenes of The Pocket book about how in the future Ryan flat-out refused to shoot together with his future girlfriend. He informed VH1: “Possibly I’m not supposed to inform this story, however they have been actually not getting alongside in the future on set. Actually not. And Ryan got here to me, and there’s 150 folks standing on this massive scene, and he says, ‘Nick come right here.’ And he’s doing a scene with Rachel and he says, ‘Would you are taking her out of right here and herald one other actor to learn off digicam with me?’ I mentioned, ‘What?’ He says, ‘I can’t. I can’t do it along with her. I’m simply not getting something from this.’” “I’m simply not getting something from this”?? Wow. To assume, they dated after he mentioned that. Who can neglect their kiss on the 2005 MTV Film Awards?? / (c) Nikki Nelson/WENN Or perhaps they have been courting on the time, and it was actually some sort of lover’s spat they have been maintaining on the DL from their director? Neither has ever commented on the story, so we guess it’ll simply have to stay a secret. BTW, Ryan and Rachel weren’t the one stars to refuse to shoot collectively. Ch-ch-check out another notorious feuds from the historical past of TV and films (under)! Jerome Flynn & Lena Headey (c) HBO/YouTube In accordance with a tea-spilling Sport Of Thrones crew member, Queen Cersei and Ser Bronn of the Blackwater are by no means in scenes collectively as a result of the celebs gained’t even be in the identical room! Imagine it or not, the 2 characters have by no means exchanged a phrase on the present, and have solely ever been in the identical shot as soon as in a scene — with out even each other. That is as shut as they ever obtained, and she or he doesn’t spare a look his approach. / (c) HBO/YouTube Followers will bear in mind within the Season 7 finale Bronn leaves to “have a drink whereas the flowery of us discuss.” And in Season 8, Episode 1 Cersei hires Bronn — however she sends her proper hand man Qyburn to talk to him. Rumor has it the actors, who briefly date IRL in 2002, had such a contentious breakup they now should be saved aside in any respect prices. We don’t know what they did to at least one one other, but when they’re prepared to make a whole TV manufacturing plan round them it should have been BAD. The Rock and Vin Diesel (c) Common/YouTube From their first assembly in Quick 5, Dominic Toretto and Luke Hobbs have been on reverse sides of the regulation — however it turned out that animosity prolonged past the display. Through the filming of the eighth film within the Quick and Livid franchise, The Rock posted on social media about coping with a “sweet ass” on set. It shortly grew to become clear which costar he was speaking about. Vin Diesel could have copped to the feud — however by no means to the preliminary motive. The closest we obtained was Johnson happening the report to Rolling Stone: “Vin and I had just a few discussions, together with an necessary face-to-face in my trailer. And what I got here to understand is that we now have a basic distinction in philosophies on how we method moviemaking and collaborating. It took me a while, however I’m grateful for that readability. Whether or not we work collectively once more or not.” The results of all of this appears to have been the delay of FF 9, with The Rock’s spinoff with Jason Statham, Hobbs And Present, being pushed into manufacturing subsequent — much to the chagrin of Tyrese Gibson, who began his personal beef over the necessity to receives a commission on one other of those movies. We doubt if The Rock will even return to the franchise correct, particularly now that Vin has introduced his wrestling rival John Cena is becoming a member of the subsequent installment. He completed his assertion to RS: “Proper now I’m concentrating on making the spinoff nearly as good as it may be. However I want him all one of the best, and I harbor no ailing will there, simply due to the readability we now have… Truly, you may erase that final half about ‘no ailing will.’ We’ll simply maintain it with the readability.” The shade! Nick Nolte and Julia Roberts (c) Buena Vista/YouTube I Love Bother is essentially forgotten, however the feud at its middle will dwell in Hollywood infamy. The 1994 movie, about two reporters dealing with down hazard to uncover a serious crime, was meant to evoke the screwball romantic comedies of the 1940s, with Roberts and Nolte enjoying hated rivals who find yourself teaming up after which falling in love. Nevertheless the enmity between the 2 stars was all too actual. In accordance with Julia, her costar was abrasive and threw tantrums on set — and she or he did all the pieces she may to remain away. Ultimately regardless of their onscreen romance, the 2 needed to be filmed individually with stand-ins! Years afterward Roberts was quoted as calling Nolte “fully disgusting” in a NY Instances interview. Nolte responded by saying: “It’s not good to name somebody ‘disgusting.’ However she’s not a pleasant particular person. Everybody is aware of that.” DAMN. Ryan Reynolds and Wesley Snipes (c) Warner Bros/YouTube For these of you who don’t even bear in mind Blade: Trinity, allow us to take you again to a time earlier than Marvel Studios had nailed the comedian e-book film method. In 1998, Wesley Snipes slayed as Marvel Comics’ resident vampire hunter within the action-packed Blade. By 2004, he had gotten a bit… tough, from what we’ve heard. He reportedly stayed in character and would solely talk to the director by way of notes signed “Blade.” Enter Ryan Reynolds. Lengthy earlier than he was enjoying Deadpool, he was all the time principally Deadpool. He was an motion hero within the making who couldn’t assist himself from improvising and cracking smart on set, ad-libbing in his personal jokes. Reynolds could receives a commission the large bucks to do exactly that lately, however it was one thing Snipes supposedly couldn’t take. Phrase is, he would solely come to set for his closeups for scenes with Ryan, leaving him to movie all the pieces else by himself or with a stand-in. Channing Tatum and Emma Watson (c) FayesVision/WENN Each stars made appearances in Seth Rogen‘s star-studded apocalypse comedy This Is The Finish — however their cameos initially overlapped! In the direction of the tip of the movie, Channing Tatum seems in a gimp masks because the intercourse toy of Danny McBride. Apparently Emma Watson was purported to be in that scene, too. However she regarded round at what was occurring, and it was simply an excessive amount of. In fact, a lot of the wild debauchery was within the script — however in keeping with an additional, Channing breakdancing in his leather-based intercourse masks made her stroll off set and name her agent. Costar James Franco just about confirmed the story later, although he graciously by no means talked about Emma by identify, telling the story to Interview journal: “This actress — I gained’t say who, however she had a smaller position within the movie — walked off the film in the course of a scene. What was happening round her was, I assume, too excessive for her…And she or he mentioned, ‘Yeah, I’ve obtained to depart.’” We perceive saying no to that sort of a scene once you’ve obtained a squeaky clear Hermione picture you wish to defend — however why conform to a script with an enormous satan penis and an impaled Michael Cera (separate scenes, LOLz!) within the first place?? Helen Hunt And Invoice Paxton (c) Common Footage/YouTube This one you’d by no means be capable of inform by the film — as a result of it technically wasn’t within the film. Tornado was one of many first trendy catastrophe films and nonetheless one of many largest hits. And on the middle of the 1996 flick was a His Woman Friday-style love story about two divorced meteorologists performed splendidly by Helen Hunt and Invoice Paxton. However issues on set didn’t have fairly so pleased an ending. Rumors flew on the time the celebs didn’t get alongside behind the scenes — which couldn’t have been helped by the actual fact Hunt hated taking pictures the film altogether. Years later she described the “nightmare” to Huffington Put up, saying: “They didn’t paint within the hail with the pc. They made a hail machine and dropped large balls of ice on us. I imply, it was loopy… That they had firehoses pointed at us, and also you couldn’t hear something, which isn’t the most secure approach to make a film, so I used to be actually pleased to make it by means of in a single piece.” We’re unsure how Invoice Paxton made it worse, however the two apparently did NOT get alongside. However Helen Hunt has been an actress since she was a baby, and she or he was an expert and did her job… till they determined to make a trip. The Tornado… Trip It Out trip was a mainstay at Common Studios in Orlando for 17 years. When you rode, you most likely bear in mind the filmed bits earlier than the trip started, wherein Helen and Invoice warned you concerning the energy of wind — solely they didn’t do it collectively. Yep, the celebs acknowledge each other on completely different TV screens, and this wasn’t finished to utilize the area. (c) Common Studios/YouTube No, the celebs reportedly wouldn’t even movie the temporary scripted interplay collectively and needed to be shot individually. [Picture by way of Warner Bros./WENN.] Source link