#//it's been a long time since I updated this story but it'd recently gotten some comments on AO3 which made me want to pick it back up!

[cantbelieveyouregone]

Level 65 - 5 Years, 5 Months On Testosterone

Well, it's been a hell of a long time since I last did this. Almost like a pandemic happened and made me forget because there were slightly more pressing matters at hand. But it's just past trans day of visibility, so figured I should provide some sort of update here.

First big change since you last saw me do this is that I got top surgery. I'm now about two and a bit years past when it happened, and it wasn't completely smooth sailing. Surgery itself went fine, but I ended up having some of my stitching come out during recovery. That's, like, a whole other story, though. It could take up several paragraphs here. I got the periareolar one done, with my chest being just on the borderline of being too big for it, but I begged them to let me have that one, as it'd always been my preferred one if possible.

I'm still trying to get on the waiting list for bottom surgery, but even trying to get through to the GIC to make progress is a nightmare right now. I don't help my case by being someone who absolutely despises making phone calls, so I only try getting in touch by email. I've asked to be put on the list, twice, but I have not received any confirmation if it's happened. Really wish that I wasn't dependent on this whole GIC system, but here we are.

Besides that, in terms of testosterone changes, things have been pretty stable for a while now. My voice hasn't gotten much deeper for like a good couple years. I am a hairy boy - saw it coming, thanks to having beheld my dad swimming, and seeing that we were three for three in having facial hair among my grandfathers and dad as well.

I am still a very physically weak man. Exercise took a backseat for a lot of the lockdown period of the pandemic, as well as me doing very little exercise post-surgery on surgeon's orders. I've really only started picking it up again relatively recently, after moving out of the house I always take these selfies in (my old room - now my dad's work from home office - still has a mirror in it). I can do only about 15 push-ups before I have to stop for a breather, as my endurance has remained atrocious. I managed to do ten bicep curls in a row per arm with dumbbells weighing 8.5kg each, but I truly just reached that point. I can do like 100 sit ups on a workout bench or 50 on the floor in mostly one go, though. And I can do a plank for like two and a half minutes on a good day. So, y'know, I'm not in terrible shape, but I could be better. I want to do bouldering more regularly, but that requires breaking my existing routine to do so, so I find it hard to go very often. At least me and my flatmate walk in to work some days.

I have gained a noticeable amount of weight, compared to my last update, but that's honestly more to do with the fact that I moved out and got a job. My flatmate works at the same place I do, so we go to work at the same time. So I actually eat breakfast every day because they'd quickly notice if I didn't. Lunch is covered by our work, but it's Deliveroo from select places, so it's not the healthiest stuff we have as options. And dinner, again, flatmate and I get back at the same time and make dinner together most nights. Might not seem like a big deal, but before I had a job and moved out, I regularly slept in and didn't have a proper meal until dinner time. So funnily enough, I'm not surprised jumping from one meal a day to three has caused weight gain.

My mental health is an open question as always. I've described myself as "one thing going wrong away from a mental breakdown", and I still think that's accurate. I'm still on meds for anxiety and depression, and I still feel noticeable effects when I forget to take them. I don't think they're going away any time soon. Top surgery has helped with some of the mental health stuff, since it's one less thing for me to worry about on a daily basis, but... y'know, bottom dysphoria still exists, and it's bad. I did make some friends during university which helped to make things tolerable when I definitely otherwise would've been alone, since I pushed a lot of my high school friends away after I dropped out. I'm not in a relationship, and not only do I have limited desire to be until I learn how to take care of myself better, but I still have no idea what anyone would see in me.

I never know how to end these things. I don't know when I'll next remember to actually do one of these, because it's been a long-ass time since I did it before. Maybe I'll do a more detailed update about my top surgery experience. Maybe the folks that follow me ain't here for this, but if my post makes it across the dashboard or in the search of another person going through it, maybe it'll be helpful.

It's kind of why I started doing this in the first place.

[lockewrites]

Skirting the Truth

The Perfect Storm: Chapter 6

LDB x Miraak || SFW || 1552 words AO3 & FF

Telyra returns from Apocrypha just in time to find Storn in Mora’s slimy clutches.

She shoved through the front door and into the bitter cold of the Skaal village. Many were gathered around the center, watching helplessly as Mora held Storn captive in his tentacles’ grasp and aimed one at the shaman’s head. The sound of the wood smashing against the house startled the villagers and drew Mora’s attention. 

Telyra saw his grip slacken just slightly, and with a deep breath, she Shouted, “WULD!” Her body flew forward, toes barely grazing the top of the snow, and she wrapped her arms around Storn, pulling him from Mora’s tendrils and falling in a pile several feet away.

“Fool!” Mora fumed. 

“What are you doing?” Frea shouted as she ran toward them.

Erik also rushed at them, helping Storn up while holding a hand out to Frea, silently requesting her silence.

The Dragonborn pushed herself to her feet and turned toward the mass of eyes and tentacles. “Leave!” she ordered. “The deal’s off.” 

“Without this knowledge, I will not gift you the final Word!” he hissed. His voice softened in his next words, returning to the lulling tone he seemed to favor. “Will you so easily allow an entire island to fall victim to Miraak simply to save the secrets of a minuscule village?”

The eyes of every village bored into her, she could feel it, the village as a whole holding its breath, waiting for her next words. 

“I will save Solstheim without your ‘help,’” Telyra declared. 

He chuckled, low and dangerous. “You have no hope of doing so,” he replied. “And when you realize that, you will return to me, and my aid will be at a much greater cost.”

“We’ll see.”

Again, his laugh rumbled, echoing as his physical embodiment disappeared.

Erik moved to stand beside her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Is everything… as expected?”

She nodded and smiled. Her attention turned to Storn who watched her with cautious curiosity. “I’m sorry for not being honest with you,” she said, her cheeks warming. “I needed to be sure Mora wouldn’t suspect anything.”

“I trust you have a plan, Dragonborn,” Storn said. “I am unsure how else to acquire the remaining Word of Power without Herma-Mora.”

“I have it,” she said, leaving out that she didn’t, in fact, need it. “While Mora was distracted, I was able to reach parts of Apocrypha he normally kept hidden.”

“You used my father as bait?” Frea asked, standing beside Storn.

“I’m so sorry,” Telyra repeated. “I know it was a risk, but I’m not sure the result would’ve been different if I failed or went along with what Mora wanted.”

Frea crossed her arms and furrowed her brow. “I do not approve of such methods.”

Storn placed an arm on his daughter’s. “Frea, calm yourself. I believe the Dragonborn is right. Herma-Mora had no intention of allowing me to live after claiming our knowledge for his own." He turned to Telyra. "What is your next step?"

She bit her lip, regretting not having a lie in place. 

Erik put an arm around her. "That's part of what we need to figure out," he replied for her. "Even with the third Word, Miraak is dangerous."

Storn nodded. "That is true. We are here for any counsel you may require," he said.

"Thank you." She nodded to Storn before glancing at Erik and smiling as he removed his arm.

Frea gave a short nod as well. "I will still accompany you to anywhere you request. You need only ask." She turned to her father. "We will need to resume our ward. I do not believe Mora will simply accept the denial of our secrets."

"Yes," he said. "We will prepare the ritual once more. In the meantime, do you need anything more from us, Dragonborn?"

Telyra thought a moment. "I'd like to return to Apocrypha and see what else I can learn." She held up a hand as Frea opened her mouth to speak. "I know it's dangerous, but as Erik said, I need to be better prepared before going after Miraak."

Frea frowned as she replied, "I am unsure how we would be able to assist in that."

"Is it possible," Telyra began, "to take the magic from the ritual and, I don't know, somehow use that to hide me from Mora while in Apocrypha?"

Storn held his chin in thought, his lips pressed together in a thin line.

"I don't think Mora would take you as bait a second time," she said, filling the uncomfortable silence.

He let out the quietest of sighs before speaking to Frea. "Bring me the amulet from my chest."

"Father," she replied, her eyebrows shooting up toward her hairline. "Are you sure of this?"

"Please, do as I ask."

She nodded before heading toward Storn's home.

"Forgive her cautious nature," he said. "She holds our traditions and knowledge as tightly as myself. To give such things freely is difficult."

Telyra's stomach flipped, and her cheeks burned even in the cold. "I understand," she replied, trying to ignore feeling as though she were abusing their generosity.

Erik reached out and gave her shoulder a light squeeze, apparently sensing her unease.

Frea returned soon after, delicately carrying an ornate jewelry box. She handed it to Storn, still appearing apprehensive.

He opened it and removed the necklace inside, holding it out toward Telyra. "This amulet has been with our tribe for generations," he explained. "Never before has its use been allowed by an outsider. The magic within is near as powerful as the ritual we use for protection."

Eyes wide, Telyra accepted it, carefully pulling it over her head and tucking it under her robes.

"I believe it will serve you well," he continued. "May it keep you from Mora's gaze."

"I can't thank you enough for this," she muttered, her voice a near-whisper. "I swear I'll return this once Miraak is taken care of." She held her hand out, solidifying her promise with a handshake.

"Thank you, Dragonborn," Storn said. "Where do your plans take you now?"

"I think to the tavern," she replied with a smile. "I may not have been gone long here, but that time in Apocrypha felt like hours."

He nodded. "Understood. May the All-Maker watch over you and your companion as you continue on your quest to defeat Miraak."

She smiled again. "And I hope your All-Maker keeps you safe as well."

The journey back to Raven Rock was quick and quiet, perfect for stewing in the thoughts Telyra found bouncing around her mind. With the Skaal amulet, speaking with Miraak should be safe… relatively. And she wondered when she should return; though the idea of simply appearing whenever felt rude. She snorted to herself as they entered the tavern.

The two sat at their usual table which was strangely almost always empty when they arrived.

"So," Erik began just as the server walked away, "what happened?"

"I showed up and gave him my offer," she said with a shrug. 

"And he just took it?"

Telyra nodded then tilted her head. "Well, he was suspicious at first," she explained. "But he seemed to believe me. He gave the last Word of that Shout Mora promised as a sign of good faith."

His eyebrows shot upward. "I thought you were lying about having it," he said. "He really just gave it to you?"

She nodded before her eyes widened, the weight of the gesture finally settling in her stomach. "He did," she muttered.

"Wow, that's… something."

The server brought their food and drinks, giving a brief, "Here you go," before heading to the next table.

Erik was quick to dig in, but Telyra remained still, her hands resting in her lap as she stared at her drink without really seeing it. Her plate moved closer to her, and she looked up to see Erik pushing it with his fork.

"You all right?" he asked.

She blinked. "Yeah. Yes." Picking up her fork, she stabbed one of the roasted ash yams and brought it to her mouth. "I guess it's just… I don't know," she spoke between bites. "What have I gotten myself into?"

With a snort, Erik swallowed his bite. "You've made this so much more complicated for yourself," he remarked, his smile a contrast to his words. "But I understand--well, sort of." He ate another forkful before continuing. "Someone with more sense would tell you to take advantage of the situation. You've obviously earned his trust. Using that, you have the advantage of surprise. You almost beat him once, that could be enough to end this for good."

Telyra stared at him, even as his eyes remained on his food and his words were spoken as if they were a mere comment on the quality of his meat. 

He finally looked up at her and, upon seeing her expression, held up his free hand. "But," he dragged out, "I know better than to think I have enough sense to tell you that." He pointed at her with his fork holding a chunk of steak. "And I know that, even if I did, you wouldn't listen."

Telyra sighed and took a bite of her food.

"I'm only teasing," he said. "I get it. This is what you feel you need to do."

She swallowed and smiled at him. "It is."

[ren-c-leyn]

Happy WBW Ren! So there is a village with scars from the Mad War?👀 Am I getting a bit of nostalgic melancholy something was lost but we continue on theme vibe...?

What were the consequences of the Mad War anyway? It must have been a large scale conflict that influenced the world and adventures in how they are today.

Other than that I would like to ask how your projects are going in general, I like me some Ren work updates^^

@writingonesdreams

Happy WBW to you too, Dreams~! :D

Very good and very relevant questions. I've been developing the Mad War and it's impact more closely recently since it's been coming up more and more, such as the village in question.

There are many towns, villages, fortresses, and even cities that still bear the scars of the Mad War. The one in question comes up in the first chapter of the Stormy Road Ahead arc. So, while it is unfortunately unavailable to be read in full at the moment, I have decided to paste it's description below your customary read more, since you are one of my favorite enablers and have been a huge help in motivating me to work hard on multiple projects. So, hopefully that'll help paint the scene for you as you go through my long, rambling explanation of the history of the Mad War, it's effects, and so on.

So, I hope you're in your comfy chair, and allow me to just hand you your gold star now because I think this is my longest ramble to date. If you have follow up questions, you know where to set your bait to lure more rambling out of me.

Happy reading ~!

(Warning, there are mild spoilers in here. 1 paragraph of text from The Stormy Road Ahead arc and some mild story elements of The Guild Masters' arc. Nothing too major, but if you don't like spoilers, you may want to throw this in your drafts until after you've gotten past chapter 1 of The Stormy Road Ahead arc. Also, trigger warnings for both people and animal deaths. Tread lightly if this sort of thing bothers you.)

This place had a different feel than that town. Older, quieter. Like the guild hall separated two completely different eras in time instead of neighboring settlements. This place seemed far more familiar with Trouble's well of sorrows as well. Some of the buildings bore scars where newer materials had been used to fill gaping wounds. Hollowed trunks of broken trees stood like tombstones in some of the yards, while others housed the ruins of long destroyed homes. Not such an odd sight in the world outside of the towers, but it still saddened him each and every time. The Mad War had taken much from many. ~ The Shackles of Time chapter 17 - The Stormy Road Ahead, Part 1.

So, yeah, this sense of lose and melancholic nostalgia is a running theme with The Shackles of Time. I knew it was going to be present since I had the Mad War, Wyndulin and The Time Keeper's backstories, and a bit of the history behind The Dawn Isle guild figured out before hand, but I wasn't expecting it to be quite as in the spotlight as it is. Not that I mind, it's an interesting aspect to the story. It is, however, something I do need to be careful about how I balance. It'd be easy for the entire story to get swallowed by it if it's mishandled.

So, I'm going to start this with a bit of a heads' up, some of this stuff will come up in character in The Guild Masters' Meeting arc. So, if you want Wyndulin's take on this, chapter 3 of it has him talking through it with a younger guild master. It also has his friend, and fellow legend, Monster Slayer Myria talking about her experiences with pre-Mad War life. So, yeah, there's some extra context for you later regarding the culture shift as the people themselves see it.

Now, The Mad war isn't actually wasn't that long ago. It actually was less than 50 years ago, a very short time in the grand scheme of things. However, it is widely regards as the death of an era and the birth of a new one, that is how destructive and devastating it was and how far reaching it's consequences were. The Mad War, as it was dubbed by particularly dramatic bards, was the result of the Mad God, a literal divine God, opening ancient portals to other realms fully.

These portals are known as The Shadow Gates. Not much is known about them, but they are forged out of an extremely strong material that no current means can harm, and seem to be one way portals only. I imagine a few mad mages have tried various experiments to get to the other sides, but if anyone of them succeeded, no one has heard tale of it. No one knows who or what created them, or exactly how ancient they are, but they have been referenced throughout the entirety of history. Documents recovered from the lost cities and other ruins even occasionally speak of them with aw and horror.

The Shadowed Gates are, most famously, where most the monsters that plague the world came from. It is theorized that they are also where the massive monsters who giant bones dot the landscape also came from back in a forgotten age where they were flung fully open, though there is no hard evidence of this. What is known for certain is that they seem to fluctuate in activity, leading to eras that have more monsters and chaos than others. They are basically indestructible, though hundreds of people have tried. And they are where The Mad God got his army from.

He opened all of the gates and invited the monsters and fiends to cross through the threshold and then gained control over them, organizing and coordinating their attacks against mortals. It is uncertain how many died. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Maybe more. The places hit hardest were the regions closest to the gates. Entire cities were destroyed over night, armies slaughtered, fields burnt, and even the wildlife devoured. After the initial shock of the event, the armies, adventurers' guilds, mages' guilds, and mercenary guilds started coordinating and working together. They set up battle lines to halt the advance of the monsters and fiends, but could not gain ground against them. They were fighting a God after all. Then, The Time Keeper put forth her theory of sealing the gates and the Mad God. The leaders agreed, and the mages set to work.

While The Time Keeper was an active participant in the battles, her most important contribution to the war was helping develop the seals that were used on the gate and then tear a hole into the divine realm and battle the Mad God before sealing him away as well. The Time Keeper paid a very, very steep cost for this victory however, one she's still struggling to come to terms with.

There are some guilds of all kinds that were wiped out during The Mad War, some cities that were completely lost and never rebuilt, and a major shift in religion. Angry mobs attacked temples, priests and priestesses turned their backs on the Gods, people threw their faith away or turned to other entities to put their beliefs in, such as spirits. The few temples that remain are mostly attended and up-kept by those who are very entrenched in the old ways and those whom believe the Mad God was not a true god or had been driven mad by some corrupting force, though no shrines are left for the Mad God. Even his name was stripped from the records. It is actually illegal in every country with a Shadow Gate in or near it to speak his name, little alone worship him. He is to be forgotten. Though I am sure there are a few secret doom cults that still worship him in secret and seek to return him.

During the Mad War, there were several books and guides written by seasoned adventurers on monsters. Their behaviors, typical tactics, strengths, and weaknesses all written out and illustrated. They were produced in mass and passed out to mercenaries, mages, soldiers, volunteer fighters, and rookies to help them better fight in the Mad War. This was a major boon during the war and also assisted in the eradication efforts against the monsters of the guilds after the Mad War was over, which helped contribute to the current era of relative peace.

However, with as much and as complete as the destruction was, many people had to find new ways to live. Sources of every day essentials were destroyed, people who had been hulled up in protected places often returned to find their homes and businesses and means to make a living destroyed, families were broken apart in the chaos and unable to find each other, among hundreds of other tragedies that completely reshaped peoples' lives. I imagine food was a huge issue during and after the Mad War due to the slaughter of livestock and the ruin of farms, but there probably was very limited access to any sort of goods with trade routes in such disarray. It lead to the increase of traveling merchants and the rise of several merchants' guilds, many of whom still hold a great deal of power over the moving of goods and maintenance of trade routes after establishing themselves in the aftermath of the Mad War.

On an interesting note that probably had more of an effect on the war than the aftermath of it is is that the era before the Mad War was one in which the gates were seeing elevated activity. So there were more monsters, more attacks, creatures getting bold enough to try their luck in cities, and also random dragon raids until The Time Keeper put a stop to that. It was a very hard time to be alive, but as a result there were more people who were raised learning to wield at least simple tools as efficient weapons, learning magic, and other means to protect themselves. It was also a generation prone to making tough choices and had to be willing to sacrifice everything for the sake of survival. I think that that may have been a big factor in Mortals' success against the Mad God and his hoards. They had experience in dealing with monsters, in fighting for their lives, and still they lost so much.

Now, you and I have talked at length about some of the other cultural shifts related to this event, like the adventurer's guilds and their relationships with the people and their reputations and affects on the culture. So I believe that's all I have for the first part of my answer right now.

As for your update - I don't have much to report. I've been working more on the Anniversary specials and I've recently picked up Stardew Valley on a steam sale and yeeeaaah, that game is super addicting and has been a fun break to let my brain rest between bouts of sudden creative sprints, so a lot of my writing has taken a bit of a backseat for the moment. I do still have a bit of an update for you, though. :D

I'm almost finished with the second piece of the Anniversary event special posts. Yes, I am still only on the second. It turned out to be way more complicated than I was originally expecting but it is coming out well. I'm glad I started these pieces way early, because I may not have been able to get all of this prepped in time, otherwise. Though I imagine the next piece is also going to be a bit complex, particularly since the format is new for me. But I think that even with me working with a new thing, the third celebration piece will probably be your favorite of all that I have planned, and the only spoiler I will give for it is the link to the incorrect quote that inspired it:

I confirmed how the elf prince was assassinated in Dark Princess wip. I went for the theatrics over the practicality and then reverse-engineered the reason for why they went with a flashy method because I loved the mental image that much that I decided to latch stubbornly on it. The joys of self-indulgent writing, lol. But the very flashy and public assassination method will also make some of the more mystery-like aspects a bit easier on me. So, that's a big step forward. I may have enough to start it soon, but I want to clear some stuff off my plate first since Dark Princess is a big, delicate project with a ton of moving pieces. It's probably not going to get the green light until I at least get Forgotten Gods' draft 2 out of the way, and may not begin until I get a lot of Shackles of Time chapters banked. It's definitely one that I'm going to have a notes document to keep track of everything on because the small details are going to be critical.

I'm playing with some ideas for the trio's third quest and the final part of Glenn and Zephyr having to tag along with them. I haven't quite decided on one yet, but I'm also thinking about another arc before their third quest due to some things that cropped up during the final chapter of The Guild Masters' arc that may make more sense overall, though it will keep the trio at the guildhall longer. Which might not be a bad thing since I have some plot threads and foreshadowing for future events I can pull on there. Plus, I'm missing some of those side characters. On the other hand I have a big, shiny chaotic world I want to drag the characters through.

So, I guess we'll all see what I decide to do after I wrap up the Stormy Road Ahead arc when I get there. Not sure if I'm happy with how the current chapter I'm on is going, so I am probably going to back up and try writing out an alternative one to see which version I like more. It just kind of feels out of place and too much, but maybe I just need to step back for a little bit then reread the arc as a whole. We'll see.

So, yeah. I'm still cooking up things, but progress will be slow for a little while.

Thanks for stopping by, Dreams~! have a lovely day/evening.

[indecisive-v]

NINJAMUFFIN DOING ANOTHER AMA ON TWITTER, HERE'S MORE SHIT FOR YA! keep in mind i'm just sharing the funkin related stuff, though i am including WAAAAY more than what i shared before 👍 go check out ninja's twitter profile for questions about stuff like ritz! questions in blue, answers in orange. if yall don't wanna read everything i MIGHT make a version of this post where i replace the answers with my own summaries of em (and if the questions are long, those too)

and here's a link to the ama tweet itself! dunno if it's still goin

Q: I figure the answer will be yes but do you have more plans to implement more guest appearances from people in the newgrounds community into FNF? Or are you all gunna focus on OG lore and stuff going forward

A: for guest appearances, I think we have always seen it as getting a healthy mix of both. PERSONALLY I'd like to lean towards having more OG stuff than guest stuff, BUT it's all a matter of what other boys think of that as well. I'm not the sole person working on game!

Q: Are you gonna release the full FNF game or are you gonna be releasing week after week? Like, are you gonna release week 8 or are we gonna wait some years until The Full Ass Game comes out?

A: Release plan for FNF right now is a few more updates or whatev to the 'demo' we have out right now, and then a long silence of probably no updates whatsoever until the full game is done (which will likely be a few years). That's partly why we made kickstarter for game.

Q: Hey so like, how much will Fnf cost after it's finished? And when will you ask the supporters what they want the game on?

A: It's all subject to change, but right now it prob gonna be standard 15-25$ lil steam indie game.

We will ask Kickstarter pledgers and whatnot what they want the game on SUPER close to when its released, to keep options open if we get onto anything like a console people want.

Q: 1. how was your day

2. are you releasing a week 8 song early like week 7, or are you goin full lockdown

A: I am doing GOOD today, and I think recently I've been good in general.

up to the mood, but so far we doing good about not having anything leak or whatev, so I think it'd be fun to have update come out with people not knowing what to expect at all. Build dat intrigue

Q: Will fnf ever get official plushies?? Seems like an untapped market

A: FNF plushies will prob happen some point, we have a lot of current merch stuff on our plates already though! (Mostly kickstarter type stuff, shirts, pins, posters, and all the physical OST stuff) Its a lot to sort out, but in time more and more stuff will happen. We r jus 4 boys!

Q: did you ever expect your game to blow up as it did? what was your first reaction to seeing it become super popular

A: FNF never had a humble moment, literally day 1 before the prototype even came out, the vid on twitter had like 5K likes overnight. Then when ludum dare version came out, it got 5K likes again, like it wasnt just a fluke. Was crazy, and def felt like somethin was different wit FNF

Q: Do you plan on getting other people to come in to help with the music? That seems like a lot of work to dump on one person, what with the erect mode and whatnot.

I guess the question could apply to all aspects of development. Will you be bringing on more people to help?

A: We definitely are getting help from other people. We are always keeping an eye on people for various different things. In terms of programming, already I've gotten 2 people (MtH and Geokureli) to help with certain Week 7 stuff (charting/polish, and loading stuff). Shit like dat

Q: Oh, also, will the Steam version be Workshop compatible? That'd really help streamline the process of downloading mods.

A: Steam version of FNF will likely NOT be Steam workshop compatible, because we want all the mods to NOT be spread out through different places. There WILL be modding support that is as streamlined as Steam workshop though. Mainly for non-steam versions of the game!

Q: Are there any chances that the game will have a physical release? Also any updates on a switch port? I remember one of you guys talking/joking about it.

A: Not impossible for FNF to get a physical release. We would want to see how far we could go with it though. I think it'd be super easy to do something wit people like LimitedRun games or whatev, but I think stuff like that can only go so far. I wanna see Funkin in mf Walmart!!!!!!

not that LimitedRun isn't going to be an option! Just we consider and pursue many different things! FNF release is years away, so we have time to think about everything. Whole mindset can be different just a few months from now.

Q: Out of curiosity, how are you dealing with all the popularity? It blew up so fast id barely be able to handle it if I was in your shoes.

A: The only way I've been able to handle it is having the other boys on the crew and being able to talk to them about all the overwhelmingness.

Part of it feels very lonesome, feels like NO ONE can come close to comprehending exactly how I'm feeling, except them. also other PALS!!!

Q: Do you own any of the bootleg FNF merchandise? Like any bootleg plushies or anything?

A: i dont, i genuinely think they r a waste of money, and I know any bootleg shit that gets made, we can prob go about and make it, and make it 100x cooler because we actually put effort into shit. bootleg shit just in it for the coin, so they aint gettin that from me

Q: How did you go about getting in contact with sr pelo for skid and pumps vocals?

A: Pelo i think was familiar and pals wit PhantomArcade a bit thru various Newgrounds things and collabs and whatnot.

pelo retweeted the first OG FNF posts first ever, and brought a LOT of attention to it. to pay him back, we put skid and pump in game! ask dave for more info prob

Q: what's the plan for having the full ass game open source if it's gonna cost money? couldn't people just download the source and compile the game for free?

A: when FNF is fully released, the full source code will be released as well.

the game will be DRM free so it will be way easier for people to redistribute the released/offical .exe instead of compiling it, so that's not the issue anyways. people will pay for things if they like it

Q: What are the chances of it getting on consoles like switch or Playstation, ps5 would definitely be my preferred way to play

A: it'd be a matter of hiring someone to build out backend stuff for those specific consoles. someone who knows their way around all the wacky code stuff, AND knows console hardware stuff. Then its just a matter of hittin up those console manufacturers (Sony, Microsoft, or Nintendo)

the CLOSEST one is SWITCH. pretty much all of that backend is already made, so it just a matter of gettin all that access and shit.

i think in any case though, there's a lot of NDA stuff required, i dunno how much we'd be able to talk about it even IF we get that stuf sorted

Q: any ideas of releasing it on epic store or another platform?

A: Right now, the only thing that is 100% confirmed and WILL happen is a Steam version, itchio version, and mobile versions on respective app stores. Other storefronts aren't out of the picture though, but we don't want to spread ourselves too thin with it.

Q: Will you continue using HaxeFlixel to make the rest of FNF?

A: yes, because it is what I'm the most technically proficient in, and generally is VERY flexible. just a matter of ME becoming a better coder. It's ALL open source, so if I need something done a certain way, either I can do it, or we can hire someone to do it.

Q: have you seen game theory's videos on your game yet and if so, what do you think about them? (not talking about his predictions because i dont want spoilers. i like mystery)

A: it is always good silly fun to watch the Game Theory vids about Funkin with some pals, and see what matpat thinks of the game. i lov the vids, but wish he used my face less! Or at least used a cuter pic of me like this one!!

Q: Ok so: What does the future of FNF look like to you?

A: future of FNF is a rhythm game that not only exceeds every expectation that people have of it, but subverts most expectations and conventions as well.

Q: Do you plan on retouching on older weeks once the game is fully out? Like reanimating sprites, redoing some charting, updating the background, etc

A: retouching and probably overhauling certain aspects is almost definitely gonna happen. Everything is fluid and can be changed (and should be changed when necessary). i dont think anything should be too attached to, especially this early on in development

Q: I honestly do not care if the answer to this is vague as hell to keep surprises and shit lol but… Since Week 7 was the closest we’ll get to a playable girlfriend (still bf controlling tho), do you have plans to make girlfriend playable in spin-off things or just freeplay?

A: wouldnt be out of the picture for a playable GF, i don't think we've had some hard thing AGAINST it. just a matter of what we want out of the game, and what sort of story or whatev we could do with that concept

Q: How do BF and GF manage to meet famous newgrounds characters (such as pico, tankman and the others to come) like is this all in one universe/ timeline or are they being brought in?

A: i think they are all just there existing. i think there's a lot of wacky things in other media that try to justify crossovers, like MULTIVERSE bullshit or TIMELINE shit, but i dunno, its like subspace emissary. Captain Falcon and Olimar from Pikmin just hang out. Shit like dat

disclaimer that all lore shit is in phantomarcade head pretty much and maybe there is wacky dimensions or somethin

Q: Will the game have dlc?

A: its not too unlikely that we'd have expansions of some sort, but i mean right now we plan on packing in as much as we can into base game, and trying to make that as pure as possible.

if there is ANY dlc, i would personally want it to be 100% free updates

Q: How did you meet Phantom Arcade, Kawai Sprite, and EvilSker? And what do you think about the community and its controversies?

A: me and phantomarcade been fukin around NG for years so years and years ago we naturally crossed paths and became pals

about 2 years ago i found kawaisprites music on NG, and started talkin wit him, made Ritz wit him and we fell in lov

and evilsk8r i met cuz of FNF!!!

quik elaborate on evilsk8r, wanted artist for gamejam FNF was for (ludum dare), and OG person i asked wasnt available, so he referred me to evilsk8r, who I have never met or talked to before ever.

[game-dev-duo]

The process and completion of the dialogue box.

~ Hello there! Tokki here ~ Recently I completed the dialogue box asset, so I thought it'd be interesting to share what the very first prototype looked like! As well as share the concept art with you. The prototype was made in the quest to really jump into the game and then start developing it from there, it was a starting point. We knew we wanted our game to have dialogue and the ability to speak with different characters, so that's where we began. At first, I made a mock-up with it and then I provided Crisp with a blank version so that he could begin coding a dialogue system. It started off as green because that's both Crisp and I's favourite colour. The characters used for the demonstrations are currently my original characters, I'm using them as placeholders until we have official character portraits of our own characters. Tabitha was used at first, however, once a core aesthetic was decided Vivian made for a better placeholder visually. ( Thank you for your initial help though, Tabi! ) From then on, we started to discuss what kind of themes we wanted to have and what setting it would be in. After that, I started to have a lot of ideas in my head about what it would look like visually and decided on a specific, cohesive aesthetic. A victorian-inspired journal/diary. So I started to doodle until I fell in love with the look of something, and that's where the concept art was chosen as something to model off of. Part of my artistic process is working until I love what I've made, if I don't feel anything then it's not right yet. And if I've been working on it for a long time and I still feel nothing, I know it's time for me to change directions and try again. The chain was incorporated as part of an idea I had, where based upon the player's progress/relationship with the character they were speaking to, the chain would gradually weaken until it fell apart. It would have been to give the player a sense of progress, a reward for their work once it fell and a visual metaphor of the storyline. Ultimately, I decided that it was visually disruptive and based on the nature of a dialogue box, it would have just covered up the dialogue text. I think it was a neat idea, but I just didn't care for it and it would have posed a lot of problems. Honestly, though, I do much prefer how it looks without the chain. When I was working on creating the official, polished asset, I ended up adding some nice detailing on the golden frames as I wanted to give it a really unique character/style. If the story ends up in the direction that Crisp and I spoke of, the detailing will be visually representative of some of the story's concepts! At first, the assets did not have any shadows around them but I later added them to make them able to retain visual strength and not have any difficulty with the background art that was to be added in future. It shouldn't blend in, but it also shouldn't stand out. The shadows also helped to make sure everything was visually consistent as the selection boxes I later made also have them. ( Something I heard whilst researching UI was that what makes a good UI, in a way, is that it isn't noticeable at all. It should be so seamless and pleasant to interact with that it's something a player barely notices. ) I later took a ridiculous ( maybe to some ) amount of time deciding on the fonts. I'm very happy with the selection I made! I'm glad I spent so long on it, after all, I believe every single thing matters and adds to the visuals of a game. I believe that the right font can help make a game whilst the wrong one can help break it. ( I'm talking about you, comic sans. ) One font I really loved for the name title didn't have the right licences so unfortunately, I had to remove it and replace it with a different one. I wasn't sure about it at first but after I gave it some time, it grew on me! I really feel it adds to the victorian feel, I wanted to give the player the sense that they've 'been formally invited' to the location the game takes place in. I feel as though the nameplate feels like it honours the

characters that are speaking. Something about that pretty, gold, handwritten calligraphy feels special to me. I've been researching like my life depends on it, trying to learn as much as I can about UI design and UX and in my research, I came across a UI/UX designer that said there should be around 15-26 words per dialogue box because it's far easier on the reader. And it also allows the characters more chance to use different expressions alongside their dialogue. This totally opened my eyes as it was something I hadn't thought of before, and he's right! My prototypes were far too dialogue-heavy, so I resized the box to be smaller and that ended up making it look a lot more visually appealing, too. I was unsure about the character portrait sizes so I took a look at lots of visual novel games to see what they had done and I realised that my characters were scaled far too small. I personally didn't love the sizes that most games chose to go with, I find them to cover up too much of the screen, so I decided to go with my own in between. Not too big and not too small. The last thing I'd like to talk about is the indicator! After staring at our mock-ups intently for far too long, I couldn't help but feel as though something was missing like I could add one last thing to really perfect it. The cherry on top. And then it occurred to me that we're going to use an indicator to indicate that the dialogue is finished and you can click to see the next dialogue. So I played around with it for a bit and then I had the perfect idea! A quill!! What better way to add to the visuals of the dialogue box than to make the indicator a feather quill. I'm ridiculously in love with this detail and think it's the best idea I've had so far, haha. Sorry to write such a long post, but this is the first update I have and a lot ( not a ton but a significant amount ) has happened since the game's inception. My next updates should be a lot shorter, I just wanted to take you through the process and progress of how we've gotten to the place we are now. One thing I'd like to mention though is how important these small things are to me. I really truly believe that every single detail is incredibly important and that's why I take it all equally as seriously as I would with any other aspect of the game. I believe it all adds up eventually. If every single thing shines as an individual, the whole thing can shine together to make something beautiful. Every single thing is part of the game, so every single thing should be treated with care. I want that to show. I want the player to be able to look at this game and see straight away that a lot of love and effort went into it. Thank you for your time reading this, I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope that it was of some interest to you! ~ Tokki 🌸