#//have a trash human with a trash bio okay bye

[icedfae]

(—) ★ spotted!! DECLAN CHANDLER on the cover of this week’s most recent tabloid! many say that the 35 year old looks like JAMES LAFFERTY, but i don’t really see it. while  the REALITY TV STAR/TALENT AGENT is known for being PRECOCIOUS my inside sources say that they have a tendency to be CONIVING i swear, every time i think of them, i hear the song the AUDACITY by EMLYN  {he/him / cismale}

you should buy a mic, start a podcast

basics

Name: Declan Gregory Chandler Age: 35 DOB: May 12, 1987 Gender: cismale Sexuality: heterosexual Occupation: reality tv star (former)/talent agent

think your opinions should be broadcast

biography

declan chandler was born the oldest son of an entertainment lawyer and an actress that his father once represented. he has two younger siblings, one male and one female, and it felt as though their perfect little family was complete.

except his father dealt with the more unsavory likes of hollywood, not giving his children a great role model to look up to. declan, wanting to be just like his old man, took on a lot more of his petty and manipulative characteristics.

though having minor roles in television and movies, declan’s luck struck when he met tatyana savchenko. the two were not good for one another and that made declan excited. what made him even more excited about it was the fact that she was on a hit television show called ‘soho’.

for the first few years, declan had been able to keep his dislike for brooke under control, it wasn’t until he had enough that he put his plan into action. it had been a little comment, here and there, that set the rumor of the sex tape into action. it ended the friendship of his girlfriend and her best friend quickly, having turned the situation around on brooke herself

after the blow up on ‘soho’, declan went on to do more minor reality television shows before he settled into a career as a talent agent. it felt like less work for him, helping young talent get the work they wanted and he got paid in the end. he’s great at talking people into the big money roles, no matter how shady the production is.

even though no one’s subscribing, listening or liking

things to note

despite being the one who started the rumor of brooke having a sex tape out and about, declan had never admitted it aloud to anyone else. he’s not stupid enough to get caught regardless of how long it has been.

declan suffers hardcore from ‘main character’ syndrome, often seeking to be the center of attention and get as much drama out of life as he can.

after a decade of being together, tati was called out for cheating on him the entire time. this caused him to officially be done with her and he’s been off the rails ever since.

is like a shark in water, always looking for the next mess he can create. this includes sugar babies, women he can manipulate, situations he can twist.

by all means keep whining

[baynotbayley-archive]

・゜。・。・゜ BAYLEY DELTA is the child of CRUSH THE TURTLE. She is TWENTY-ONE years old and grew up in AURADON. She uses SHE/HER/HERS pronouns and is BISEXUAL. She DID have magic before the Charmings gained the throne (TURTLE PHYSIOLOGY), but now-a-days, she’s realized she CAN ACCESS HER TURTLE ABILITIES (ie, night vision, enhanced lung capacity, etc) WHILE STILL IN HUMAN FORM.

World meet trash, trash meet world!

Okay but actually

Bay is my trash child

Her initials literally spell “BAD” like if that’s not a sign idk what is

I’M OBSESSED WITH HER

She’s the daughter of Crush and the older sister of Sammy aka “Squirt”

Her bio is really long because i’m horrible but you can read it here

But baysically (haha -- baysically) she’s a mess in a 5′3″ frame

Born human but doesn’t know that

Lived in the sea by Auradon with her dad from when she was only a few months old to just after she turned fourteen

An incident at that point resulted in her discovering her ability to change from turtle to human

Same incident also resulted in her losing her father and also seriously injuring the bottom half of her right leg

Kit and Happy basically saved her after she washed up on the beach bleeding from her leg by bringing her to Auradon Prep’s infirmary to get medical care

They also helped Bay learn how to “be human” once FG figured out how to get her powers under control

Except that was all seven years ago

It took a crap ton of work but now you literally wouldn’t be able to tell that Bay (and Squirt) spent a huge portion of their lives away from human interaction

Bay ended up losing the bottom half of her right leg -- it was long and painful journey but because it’s been such a long time since then she’s not as sensitive about it

She has a few different prosthetic legs -- one she uses normally, a back-up one in case her regular one breaks, and a waterproof/sport one for showering/swimming in human form/doing field work/etc.

Bay graduated from Auradon Prep and is a senior at Auradon University studying marine biology and environmental studies

Mainly she wants to help get Auradon’s beaches/water back to the quality they should be, so no creatures get hurt like her and her father did

Both she and Squirt always wear matching necklaces to keep their powers under control and to stop them from changing into turtles accidentally

Since the Charmings came into power Bay’s realized she can do turtle things without going “full-on turtle”

You can read about her powers here

Bay would flirt with a wall if it would flirt back with her

Literally

Come flirt with her

She loves flirting

She also really likes alcohol

And reading -- more than you’d think when you meet her tbh

She also really likes hanging out with people? She’s a very social person even if she’s got quite a polarizing personality

Bay’s a very impulsive bean, she doesn’t really think before she speaks or acts so like be warned

Also she doesn’t really care if people like or dislike her, she’s really just tryin to live her life tbh

Also

Don’t call her Bayley

If you call her Bayley she will fight you

I mean it

There’s so much I could/want to write here but I should probably stop lol

Please come interact with my tiny problematic fave I love all of you so much kay bye!!

[pomegranctes]

u could stop at 5 or 6 stores... or jus 1

vesper ophelia reeve !

this is vesper my mc’freakin BABY.......

hayley law fc whom is not a tragic ass shit full of teenage angst despite that bein my speciality bcos i lov torturing my chars xDD

was raised by two hippie, nirvana searching, lush loving moms who cherished and loved vesper after finding her abandoned in a stroller at stanley park </3

despite being adopted and left on a huge fricken island she really doesn’t feel any resentment towards her birth parents ? she jus p much feels indifferent like isn’t in any rush to meet them and is jus content with where she is rn so don’t count on any philo soul searching

so like i said her moms were hella hippie and vegan and socialist and true believers in becoming one with the world, saving it, etc like they were jus super passionate bout making everything a better place and after adopting vesper that need only intensified as they wanted the best for their lil girl<3

like her parents, she grew up super healthy and earth loving and all-in-all an advocate for peace on earth and all this

it was NAWT easy to make friends tho bcos she was always the weird girl who only ever had thrift shop clothes ( before it became a #trend and was jus a sign of how broke u were xDD ) and never wore makeup but being the toughie she is, she stuck through it without complaint

she still shops at the thrift store tho bcos capitalism

attempted to have a rebellious teen stage after watching thirteen and took up smoking, ate some meat, pierced her nose, and did all this stupid stuff to fit in with everybody else but knew it wasn’t her crowd so she gave that up pretty quick and chalked it up to a learning experience

after graduating, with a heavy heart she said good bye to her moms and took off her london to study environmental law and she says it’s to save the bees and all this and convinces herself that’s why but she’s got an ulterior motive which p much just to have a mc’blast in london but her whole “i am above insouciance, all for the greater good, etc” mindset makes her feel almost guilty about it

since being in london tho she’s seen some things, learned some things, is p much now realizing that wanting to have fun for herself without the whole vegan guilt catching up to her isn’t that bad??? she knows that u gotta put urself first huns Xx

has a bubbly and approachable exterior but lowkey inside she still gets self conches about being the weird girl and will have these bouts where she doubts every fricken friendship she’s ever had

loves trying new things all the time and even if that restaurant you ate at last week gave you the shits but the food was good she’ll take the risk of food poisoning just to have that experience

is hella quirky but not in a bella thorne licking gregg skulkin way more in a hippie who listens to the weirdest music and loves orange pulp

works as a radio host for imperial college where she talks philosophy, feminism, and plays indie rock trash

leeder matheus sousa !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zU13Ql0HRJc

i was not memeing around when i said that i was gonna make a rudy cult leader muse after watching that vid

his name is leeder but prefers people calling him leeds bcos even he can see the disgustign pun

grew up in vegas to some major gambling parents who ran off to sin city for a good time but got caught up in the fancy lights and found that they jus couldn’t leave ? eventually got knocked up and had leeder and would you know it, he was named after a slot machine

his life fluctuated from dinners at upscale restaurants to panhandling outside a casino and p much grew up having to take care of himself all the time what with his parents gone all the fricken time wasting their money

he tried confronting them about it once but things got out of hand too quickly and he ran away from home for a week but his parents hardly noticed his absence the times that they were home and just figured he was in his room or at a friend’s

at 15 he knew he had no savings or anything, he figured as much with his parents, so ever since his first job he started saving up whatever money he could in some last ditch self preservation

at 17 now he runs away just to see what would happen and he isn’t that shocked when there’s no milk carton portraits and no breaking news stories about a missing kid in vegas but some small part of him still held out that hope and was resentful for it

that stunt hella shaped him and hardened him and ever since then, he grew up bitter and spiteful and is p much hella self preserved and will almost always do whatever is best for himself even if other peepz are collateral

so anyway at 22 he basically formed his own cult :P he would scout and pick up these lost runaways and tell them all about “finding themselves” and all this load of bs and got them to believe they were leaving behind their old messy lives in favour of a sort of paradise which was p much just them being high off their minds a good amount of the time and strumming some shit music around a bonfire while they slept in tents outside his own decked out bungalo

so yea he got this cult going and on the low was dealing w some hella drugs and trafficking p much anything and everything and then disater strikes, shit hits the fan, there’s people after him, the whole lot which drove him to leave the country and come to london, hence why he’s here now :P

he still got some connections so he used those and got back into the whole drug thing and is now jus trynna find some new recruits to join his cult ( plot idea mayhaps :P )

hudson kirk schrader !

nickname is schrader but feel free 2 call him hudson, he jus goes w the flow :P

honestly been watching too much fricken workaholics

he’s deadass 100% blake and so catch me copying and pasting his bio

a hella burnout who faked some bullshit illness he searched up on wikipedia and got a medical marijuana lisence for it. how he pulled it off exactly is still unknown, even to himself ( believe it or not, he was high when he did it )

grew up in rancho cucamonga his whole life and the only time he saw outside of it was the one roadtrip he took to los angeles but he surprisingly hated it and he says its bcos the city is too big but he knows it’s bcos some guy he met at the beach called his sandals ugly and people laughed

his parents divorced when he was like 9 so he’s got two younger half siblings but he only sees them like once a month. he doesn’t mind though, they’re all p close and there’s not some family vendetta or anything lolz his parents still get along and all that

despite being stuck there though, he made the most of his small city life and grew up with a positive outlook on everything like u really cannot catch him thinking the glass is half empty

lives for the weekends. only works as a telemarketer/salesperson and yea it’s a shit job with no time off and a poor salary but does he care ? as long as it’s enough to keep living, he’s content

diet p much consists of cheap beer and delivery pizza. ihop breakfasts when he’s feeling rich or p much jus craving pancakes at 3am

took a stripper class one time for the sicc experience but he tells everyone it was to look at half naked peepz

can and will shove an entire party platter of sliced salamis that fell on the floor into his mouth if it means he’ll make some money off of it, even if it’s only $5 bcos hey, that can at least cover his tab at the bowling alley

he's the guy at the party who makes a massive cheese and cracker sandwich called the eliminator

enjoys pitting people against each other but not in a shit ass annoying naslund way or a devil reincarnate lourdes way more in a “hey what’ll happen if i do this” knowing dam well what will happen but going for it anyways

strange personality makes him interesting and fun 2 hang with but also a lil bit misunderstood bcos he jus trynna b himself </3

is a good friend who’s willing to take risks and try new things and he’ll trick u into joining him for a night you’ll never forget mostly bcos of the tattoo and the scar and the croatian wife u now have

a weirdo w self confidence who can pick up on that rude thing u said about his mom but spends too long thinking of a slick comeback and by the time he figures it out the conversation has already taken four different turns

understands human psyche and knows that u lose a woman when u forget 2 cherish her but honestly he’s always there if u need a pal to lean on and he will do anything in his power 2 make sure ur okay

spends his off time people watching on top of his house. deadass has got lawn chairs, a cooler, and everything set up on there and even after breaking his collorbone when he fell off, he refuses to listen to the safety concerns of his neighbours and p much the general public

truly has no story for how he got to london, jus decided to pick up and leave one day and is p much living the same life he lived in america but different setting :P