#//gosh elle is so???
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intotheelliwoods · 1 year ago
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Pre-orders have arrived! <- Come get your boy!
Closing the listing on late Sunday the 19th! Shipping should start no later than December 21st, assuming theres no overseas shipping delays, and assuming they keychains dont get lost to transit hell!
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lomappreciationblog · 10 months ago
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Being true to yourself and having the freedom to do it is a major recurring theme among Legend of Mana's cast, and I think the ending to A Siren's Song best showcases it.
I already said a lot about this in my Monique appreciation post, but it's just striking to me that Monique is a character who's unashamedly herself, and she makes a clear point about it in her quest appearances, telling Gilbert to not downplay her humble dreams of being a lamp maker and wanting Elle to be freed from her imprisonment. Although she wants the same freedom for Elle, once you achieve that freedom, Monique never smothers Elle in her way of living, reassuring Elle it's okay to be a coward, too, if that's what she wants to be, as long as it's by her will.
The idea of being true to yourself is also present in the three major arcs and arguably what kicks off the biggest problems in Fa'Diel, especially when you take a look at the antagonists. Some cases ARE more sympathetic than others (say, Larc compared to Irwin) but that's part of what makes LoM endlessly fascinating for me.
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fheythfully · 11 months ago
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I've been wanting to get back into writing more regularly, and to work on getting my skill in it back on track after failing to write (some years not at all) for almost five years now. Since I am doing NG+, I am considering challenging myself to doing a 30 prompt challenge for each game I do, using random prompt sets I find online. But that is... a lot of writing.
Should I do it? September ffxiv writes was a lot of fun but I also felt relieved when it ended, lol.
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liverpool-enjoyer · 2 years ago
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Make a list of your top 5 movies with a lil summary. One sad. One happy. One funny. One full of love(doesn’t have to be romantic). One you can’t stop thinking of. Then send anon to the last 10 notifications you have. Have fun🫶
oooo lovely!!
1917 ooo this is a sad one for, well, obvious reasons. so basically these two dudes are sent on this dangerous ass mission during ww1. its gritty but not in a gratuitious way; its realisitc. the cinematography is truly beautiful. every second is so captivating you wanna watch it again even tho its abt literal hell
mission impossible: fallout ethan hunt n his pals go on another lovely mission to save the world!!! its truly the greatest action movie of all time. you get NO BREAK its jus COOL ACTION SEQUENCE to COOL ACTION SEQUENCE to COOL ACTION SEQUENCE. might not be a "happy movie" per se, but it makes ME very happy
legally blonde IDC IF ITS A CHICK FLICK. ITS FUNNY N EMPOWERING. ELLE STUDIES HARD N GOES TO HARVARD!! SHE HAS SUPPORTIVE FRIENDS N DITCHES HER POMPUS ASS EX
coco good LORD. i cry rlly easily at movies, n NO movie has ever made me cry as much as this one. but not cause a sadness. its so full of familial love n its so bittersweet. long ass story short its abt a boys relationship w his family both living n dead
mission impossible: dead reckoning part 1 yeah i put two mission impossibles on here cry abt it. i think abt this movie every day. n it hasnt even come out yet. i cant say what its abt cause the trailers vague which is AWESOME cause it doesnt give anything away. yall better brace yourselves for july 14th cause this movies gonna change my life for the better n its gonna be the only thing i talk abt for YEARS. FUCK.
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astudyintheburningofhearts · 4 months ago
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YOU GUYS. YOU GUYS. THE FIRST EPISODE OF HEARTSTOPPER SEASON THREE I'M SCREEAMINGGGGGGGGGG OMG (SPOILERS IN THE TAGS BTW PLEASE JUST SCROLL PAST) FEDJHWKQJ
#ok so basically#my brainrot has returned#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I DONT THINK YOU UNDERSTAND#MY FRIEND AND WERE SCREAMING AT EACH OTHER BACK AND FORTH ABOUT THE ADMITTANCE OF LOVE SCENE AT THE END OF EPISODE ONE#ALSO IM LIKING POSTS OF SPOILERS BC I'VE READ THE COMIC BUT IM NOT ACTUALLY LOOKING AT THEM BC I HAVE EXAMS AND CANT SIT DOWN AND BINGE RN#SADLY#BUT BUT BUT ERHGAKAWLOFIWEFHW THE#FUCK I LOVE THEM#THE WAY NICK POKES CHARLIE'S CHEEK AT THE BEACH#GRATUITOUS AMOUNTS OF SHIRTLESS NICK???#THE WAY NICK'S SO CONCERNED FOR CHARLIE#THE WAY CHARLIE'S NERVOUS ABOUT TELLING NICK HE LOVES HIM#CHARLIE AND ISSAC WITH THE WHOLE AROMANTIC THING (FUCK ME UP MY GOD THE FRIENDSHIP?????? GOD GET OUT)#THE ACCURACY OF THE I LOVE YOU SCENE- LIKE DOWN TO WHAT I IMAGINED THE COLOUR OF NICK'S CLOTHES AS#GOSH I LOVE YOU ALICE YOU'RE SUCH A GENIUS MY GOD#ALSO IM GONNA BE HONEST I DIDNT LIKE S2 AS MUCH AS I DID S1 BUT I FEEL LIKE S3'S REACHING THERE ALREADY AND IM ONLY ON THE 1ST EP OMG#BUT GOD THE FEELINGS THEY GIVE ME- WHEN I SAY I WAS IN TEARS LISTENING TO THEIR BANTER#AS NICK WALKED CHARLIE HOME- FUCKIN BAREFOOT TOO- GOD#ALSO TO EVERYONE EVER WHO'S SAID NICK AND CHARLIE ARE THE TEENLOCK WE NEVER GOT YOU'RE SO ON POINT#BECAUSE TELL ME YOU CAN'T IMAGINE SHERLOCK SAYING “YOU'RE NOT JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE I SAID IT ARE YOU?”#AND TEEN JOHN REPLYING “SHERLOCK... COME HERE YOU IDIOT”#ALSO FUCK ME- THE WAY CHARLIE WAS SCOLDING HIMSELF BY CALLING HIMSELF AN IDIOT#AND THEN NICK'S RUNNING AFTER HIM TO TELL HIM “I LOVE YOU TOO” AND HE'S BAREFOOT AND THEN HE'S LEANING IN AND CALLING CHARLIE AN IDIOT TOO#LIKE THE WORD “IDIOT” IS IMMEDIATELY FILLED WITH SO MUCH LOVE AND SUCH LOVING CONNOTATIONS IM SOBBING#KIT AND JOE THE ACTORS YOU ARE GOSH#ALSO OMG TAO IS ME AND I AM TAO I WOULD SO DOTE ON MY PARTNER THE WAY HE IS IN THE FIRST EP LMAO OML#ALSO STOP TAO AND ELLE AND THE BRACELETS?????? AND THE FLOWER?????? UGHHHHHH LITERALLY#AND AND AND ISSAC IN GENERAL. LIKE MY BRO'S JUST CHILLING AND BEING ALL ISSACY I LOVE HIM SM HE'S SO. I LOVE YOU SM TOBIE I HOPE YOU KNOW#ok i think that's enough for now#i will however scream into the void the moment i finish an episode though so be prepared for 8 more rants
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ghosts-and-blue-sweaters · 1 year ago
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1, 5, 12, & 47 for your most recent ask game?
who is/are your comfort character(s)?
Ghostbur! :D More than any other character by far most definitely yes yes.
I have other characters I really like, for sure, but I can’t really think of a single one that’s actually a comfort character—except for Ghostbur :) I’ll sometimes watch Ghostbur animatics or listen to my Ghostbur playlist whenever I wanna calm down or cheer up.
what color are your eyes?
They used to be blue, but I think they’re more green now :0
what kind of day is it?
A started-off-meh-day-that-continued-to-be-a-meh-day-until-just-a-few-hours-ago day lol
Who knew that listening to music, writing, and then listening to more music could be so helpful? XD
what was the last message you sent?
A link to this masterpiece that has made me laugh every single time I’ve watched it.
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darkmatilda · 2 months ago
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𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 | 𝐬.𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝
𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: your first solo, undercover mission unexpectedly spirals out of control when a real heist begins at the scene.
𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬/𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐰: spencer reid x newbaumember!femalereader, robbery, the reader becomes a hostage, is beaten by the attacker (quite severely), killing of hostages, shooting, inspired by s1e9 where spencer saves elle on a train (the plot is very similar but set in a different scenery), spencer's pov, the attackers are definitely not the gentle type, reader is wearing a skirt (her whole outfit is described), glasses reid propaganda
𝐚/𝐧: merry christmas guys <3 fasten your seatbealts and get ready for this rollercoaster.
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 14.8 k
"Why do I get the feeling that neither of you is even half as stressed as I am? Actually, scratch that—neither of you is even one-tenth as stressed as me?”
The question left your lips accompanied by a kind of sigh, an attempt to expel the air poisoned with anxiety and replace it with something fresh, clean.
"Because we know you’re going to do brilliantly, sweetheart," Penelope replied without hesitation, sparing you only a fleeting glance as she momentarily tore her eyes away from her computer screen. One of many screens.
Her office was filled with an uncountable number of them, all glowing brightly and lighting up the small, dimly lit space, which was also packed with her colorful accessories—pom-pom-topped pencils and flowerless plants in tiny pots, most adorned with smiling faces or hearts.
"Or rather," Reid interjected, spinning in a circle on his swivel chair, "because we both doubt you’ll even be remotely useful out there." A white box of Chinese takeout rested on his lap.
You shot him a grimace.
"Next time you try to undermine my self-confidence, make sure I’m not holding anything sharp," you warned, pointing one of your chopsticks at him. Yes, less than an hour before your first solo assignment, you were all happily indulging in junk food from the closest restaurant to the office, ignoring the looming possibility of digestive regrets. "Or you’ll lose an eye."
"Aren’t you tired of trying to kill me yet? First, you gave me a concussion…"
"You didn’t get a concussion, Reid. Stop exaggerating…"
"And now, you’re openly admitting that you plan to cause me permanent damage by depriving me of my sense of sight—which, as it is," he said, tapping the frame of his glasses, "is already in less-than-stellar condition."
"You two are just adorable when you argue with each other like an old, bitter married couple," Penelope commented with a small smile on her pink-lipsticked lips.
You first looked at each other, then at her, eyebrows raised, and in a synchronized moment, you both let out a huff. Unfazed, she continued.
"But now we really need to get to work. The exhibit starts in an hour, and you should get there with him. Have you ever used that microphone? It’s the latest model we’re testing, gosh, I’m so excited…"
"You’re adorable when you act like a typical nerd," you shot back, mimicking her little smile and tone of voice.
"A nerd I proudly am! Just like this guy here," she nodded toward Reid, who pouted slightly, looking offended. "You’re surrounded by nerds, sweetheart. Soon enough, you’ll become one too."
"Dear God, forgive me my sins and watch over me…" you whispered, staring at the ceiling.
The mysterious he that Garcia mentioned was named Christopher Allen, and he was surprisingly young for a neurotechnology engineer. He worked on issues surrounding the human brain and developed devices designed to have a broad range of effects on it. But why were you supposed to go with him to some exhibit? Equipped with a spy microphone? And why was it stressing you out so much that for the past ten minutes, you had only been picking at your Chinese takeout instead of eating it?
Well, it's hard to decide where to start explaining from.
You were summoned before Hotch yesterday, who informed you that an opportunity had arisen for you to prove yourself in the field. Alone, undercover, for the first time in your—let’s be honest—tragically short career at the FBI. On top of that, this was meant to test all the new equipment your team had received, the kind that Penelope had been so enthusiastic about. You couldn’t shake the feeling that this was the main reason you’d been assigned this task. Someone had to check the effectiveness of the gear, and at the same time, you, the rookie, needed to gain more experience. Allen’s case was like killing two birds with one stone.
This scientist had worked with the FBI multiple times, and that’s why when danger started looming over him, he was quickly assigned protection. The threat came from threatening letters and even a direct attack at his own home, which fortunately didn’t end in tragedy. Allen was descending into paranoia and was afraid to even attend public events, even ones with full protection, like the tech exhibition—taking place in one of the modest local museums—designed to showcase the latest advancements in neurotechnology and more.
He was probably afraid that during the event, someone would simply rush at him with fists and try to murder him in front of dozens of random technology and brain enthusiasts. Or something like that. Your task was to pretend to be his assistant, never leaving his side and carefully observing the surroundings. And that was it. Nothing too demanding was expected of you, unless things started to go south. However, that seemed highly unlikely, as everyone made it clear to you.
Still, you couldn’t shake the fear—whether justified or not—that something would go wrong. And it would be your fault.
“Reid, clip the microphone on her,” Penelope interrupted your train of thought with the order. “You’ve never used one of these before, have you, sweetheart?”
You nodded in confirmation, watching as Reid set aside his box of Chinese takeout to take the tiny device from her.  He stopped a step in front of you, perched on the edge of one of the desks, his gaze shifting uncertainly between the small black microphone in his hand and you.
“Where… where can I…?” he asked, trailing off as he made a vague gesture with his hand, surprisingly loaded with awkwardness.
“Oh,” you let out a confused sigh, beginning to consider where it might be best to place it. The sleeve? Shouldn’t it be closer to your face to capture even your quietest whispers?
“Okay, I’ve got an idea,” you said, starting to unbutton your white shirt, revealing a significant portion of your neckline. “Here?” you asked.
“Yeah… I think so,” he replied hesitantly but didn’t move.
It wasn’t until a moment later that he swallowed and, with a slow, deliberate motion, reached for a section of your shirt near your cleavage. His actions were careful—almost excessively so—like his top priority was ensuring he didn’t accidentally brush against your skin.
The microphone’s clip was quite small, though, and attaching it to your clothing required him to take another step closer and lower his head near your chest.
Even as your breathing slowed, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Penelope shaking her head in amused disbelief. 
You preferred to look straight ahead rather than at his fingers, working with such careful focus, though you couldn’t help but let your gaze flicker to them repeatedly. Just for fractions of a second—it was difficult to pull your eyes away once they landed there.
Only when he finished, his hands dropping quickly to his sides as he stepped back, did you realize you’d been holding your breath for quite some time. You became acutely aware of how stifling Penelope’s little office was—how did she even manage in the summer?
"That's not all," the woman on the screen broke the silence, one you hadn't even realized had fallen. "There's also a transmitter you'll need to keep on you somewhere. Securely, so it doesn't fall out. Are you planning to go dressed like that?"
You glanced down at your outfit. A simple black skirt and white shirt—the first thing that came to mind then you learned you'd be posing as an assistant.
"Inappropriate?" you asked, searching for an answer first on Garcia's face, then on Reid's. The latter gave the barest shrug, barely even looking at you.
"You look amazing. Absolutely stunning, darling. I wish I could have an assistant like you," Penelope reassured you. "But in this economy, I can only dream about it. Anyway, my point is, you don't have any pockets. Where are you planning to keep the transmitter and your gun?"
"I was thinking of just tucking it into my skirt. At the back."
"I don’t think that’s the best idea," Reid interjected doubtfully. He hadn’t reclaimed his spot on the swivel chair and stood instead, arms crossed over his chest. The embarrassment you’d managed to put him in (quite adorable, really) was slowly dissipating, leaving only a faint blush on his cheeks. The corner of your mouth twitched when you noticed it. "I mean, it could fall out, or start sticking out, which could lead to questions like why an assistant is walking around with a gun..."
"Okay, I get it," you sighed. You could’ve thought this through a bit better. "Maybe I’ll have time to swing by home and grab, I don’t know, a blazer or something..."
"You won’t," Penelope declared after glancing at the time. "But you can always borrow my jacket."
You looked at the garment draped over the back of her chair—a bright pink leather jacket. You didn’t even bother responding; you simply stared at it, letting the expression on your face do the talking.
"Alright, I admit it, I didn’t think this proposal through. So, it looks like we’ll have to..." She trailed off, her gaze landing on Reid’s figure. Surprised by the attention, he pointed at himself.
You also directed your attention at him. He was wearing a simple brown blazer, which would go well with your unremarkable outfit.
"Take it off," you instructed.
He was silent for a moment, though there was no visible protest on his face—just doubt.
"It’s gonna be too big," he remarked, his hands gently grasping the edges of the jacket as if unsure whether to take it off.
"Apparently, oversized is coming back into fashion."
"Okay, fine," he sighed, removing the jacket. Underneath, he wore a shirt and a black vest, from which a matching tie peeked out. Initially, he seemed hesitant about the idea, but handed it to you with some urgency. "Here you go."
You sent him a brief, grateful smile.
"You’re saving my mission, Reid. I’ll mention you in the report. And I’ll frame your name with a little heart, drawn with one of Penelope’s glitter pens," you declared.
He returned the gesture, the corners of his mouth lifting slightly as he gave a small nod. You noticed his gaze was almost fixed on your face, as if some invisible force were forbidding him to look away, down or sideways.
You didn't think too much about what it meant, you didn't really have time. You put on the blazer, which was indeed a little too long, and hid the transmitter in the inside pocket. You placed the weapon at your hip, concealing it with your clothes. As you were about to leave, you said talk to you later because the two of them were going to communicate with you through the earpiece the entire time. They wished you good luck, and you were just about to leave the desk when Reid, suddenly as if unable to stop himself, said your name one last time.
You looked at him questioningly. Instead of responding, he made an uncertain gesture near his chest. Confused, you looked down.
For the entire time, half of the buttons on your shirt were still undone.
*
You had never met him in person, but you recognized his face from snippets of interviews that occasionally appeared online, or perhaps he had even been on the news a few times. He was in his thirties, give or take five years, hard to tell. His entire persona seemed to be built around the carefree nature of a young eccentric with a sharp mind and an unrestrained tongue, constantly refining his thoughts and conclusions, often controversial, causing an uproar among the public. Without a doubt, he was one of those people often called a genius. Which, not always, was a compliment.
Allen seemed deeply displeased by your presence. He looked… tired. His red hair contrasted with his very pale complexion, as if made of glass, and dark circles rimmed his eyes. He wasn’t shockingly tall, about your height, but with broad shoulders.
"The FBI was supposed to provide me with protection because some psycho is literally trying to kill me, and they send you?" he asked, bitterly, exchanging a brief handshake with you before getting into the car.
You both sat in the back, the driver at the wheel. You were supposed to arrive at the exhibition together. His reaction caught you off guard, his open anger sparking the same feeling in you.
"What's your problem?" you asked. His insulting tone irritated you the most, especially since he hadn’t even had the chance to get to know you.
For a moment, the man sat staring out the window. His body was tense, almost stiff, as if stressed. His elegant attire, with a shirt half-tucked into his pants and too many buttons undone, suggested that he usually dressed more casually.
He let out a heavy sigh, as if furious, then hastily wiped his face with his hand.
"Just..." he began coolly and cautiously, as if holding back some cruel words. "I get the feeling that everyone is downplaying the seriousness of this situation."
"We're all approaching this with the necessary commitment," you replied, though it wasn't entirely true. Allen had every right to fear for his life, but each of you honestly doubted anything would happen to him during this exhibition. If the threat had been real... Hotch probably wouldn't have sent you. "Believe me, we understand the gravity of the situation..."
"Really? Even the letters I've been getting? The content of them?"
You knew about the threats sent by an unknown sender, but you hadn't delved into what exactly they contained. Seeing you hesitate to answer, Allen scoffed.
"You're fucking great at your job, no doubt. So let me fill you in. They come every day. Every fucking day. And I read every single one of them. You know, I've even started seeing a pattern. First, they beg me. Then they threaten to fucking kill me. Smash my face into the ground, beat me to death with a metal rod, rip out my ribs, douse me in gasoline, and set me on fire..." He paused, dramatically scratching his chin. "Oh, almost forgot. They're going to peel the skin off my back. Then there's a day off. No letter comes. The next day, they apologize. I don’t know if this psycho has some extreme split personality or... or... I have no fucking idea. The cops said, get this, it's normal. 'Cause I’m a public figure."
"They brushed it off?" you asked, slightly shaken.
No matter how famous he was, threats were still threats.
He shrugged. He was trying to speak with a voice full of dismissive irony, but it wasn’t working. He stumbled, taking breaks to swallow. Though he had treated you like a complete jerk earlier, you were starting to understand.
“First off, until someone broke into my house and tried to drag me out of bed and take me…God knows where. Probably if I hadn’t had a dog…” he trailed off, glancing back out the window. You’d arrived at the museum, where the exhibition was to be held, but Allen hesitated to get out of the car. “This guy is nuts, whoever he is. I don’t know what to expect from him. He wants to kill me, kidnap me, torture me? Or maybe he’ll just settle for shooting me from a distance like I’m some goddamn Kennedy?”
“That doesn’t really sound like him,” you said in a calming tone. “He tried to kidnap you from your house, why would he suddenly attack you in a public place…”
“My fiancée is pregnant,” he suddenly blurted out.
You blinked, unsure how to respond to the sudden confession.
“Congratulations?”
“For her safety, I sent her very, very far away, somewhere she shouldn’t be in any danger,” he continued, completely ignoring your words. “And though her and the baby’s well-being is my top priority… I also need to take care of myself. I need to make it to their birth…and longer, of course. But that’s why I’m afraid to even go out to the damn store for milk, and that’s why I was so pissed off when I found out they assigned me a woman who, no offense, looks like she wouldn’t know how to hold a gun.”
You instinctively scoffed at his last comment, though it was hard to stay particularly mad at him, knowing everything he was going through. An awkward silence fell between you, heavy and laden, during which the two of you simply stared at each other. It hit you that you were responsible not only for his safety but also for ensuring that someone’s fiancé and future father would make it home.
“We should get going,” you said, nodding toward the museum. Still, you couldn’t help but feel a certain tension at the thought of leaving the car. You shook your head slightly, trying to dispel it. “And just so we’re clear, I do know how to handle a gun—more than you’d think. But for your sake, you better hope we don’t have to put that to the test.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the corner of his mouth twitch.
"Well then, onward, assistant. Tell me, how much do you know about neurotechnology?"
Well, by the end of this day, you were definitely going to know a lot more. Together with Allen, you crossed the threshold of the museum. Its decor clashed with the theme of the exhibition, but apparently, they hadn’t managed to secure a better location. 
The interior layout was harmonious—rounded arches were supported by symmetrically arranged marble columns, and the dominant shades were gold and royal red.
Your destination was the exhibition hall, circular in shape, where mahogany tables served as display stations for various prototypes in the fields of medicine, neurobiology, and informatics. In other parts of the building, there were tall, arched windows, but this particular room had none. No natural light entered; all illumination was generated by lamps that, to their credit, mimicked the natural diffusion of sunlight quite effectively.
Among the displays were an interactive brain map and various projects still in development but aimed at assisting people with disabilities.
You observed all of this with interest while simultaneously listening to your companion’s impromptu lecture on the human brain (apparently, talking helped him calm down). At the same time, you were closely monitoring the crowd around you.
True multitasking.
The exhibition was open to everyone; no one was checking who entered the venue. Although you counted three security guards in the room—dressed in simple black suits and mostly tasked with ensuring that no one tried to steal anything—there was a subtle air of unease hanging in the atmosphere. If Allen’s suspicions were correct, the person intent on ending his life could be one of these faces. To your surprise, however, he suddenly seemed far less concerned about it than you were.
“You don’t have to follow me around like a shadow,” he said, leaning toward you to make himself heard over the murmur of surrounding conversations. A familiar face with a loud, bright red tie waved at him and began making their way over. “Just don’t take your eyes off me, no matter what. And keep an eye out for anyone suspicious—whatever that means to you. Hey, man!”
He greeted his acquaintance with a friendly handshake. Following his instructions, you took a small step back, deciding to take a short stroll among the exhibits. But after barely two steps, your finger went to the discreet earpiece hidden under your hair.
“Are you there, my lovely nerds?” you asked with a playful smile, knowing they couldn’t see it but imagining their reactions.
“At your service!” Garcia responded enthusiastically, and you could almost picture her saluting on the other end.
“And what about Mr. Smartass? Did he get bored and wander off to study the reproductive habits of ants?”
“I heard that!” he replied, summoned by his new nickname. “Such gratitude for letting you borrow my jacket.”
“Speaking of the jacket,” you continued, “I found a candy in the pocket. How thoughtful of you to leave me a little sweet treat.” You weren’t joking; there really was a candy inside. You inspected the wrapper and frowned. “Marzipan? Ugh. Do you have the taste buds of my grandma?”
"To what I know, I haven't had a taste bud transplant. Especially not from anyone's grandmother," he replied nonchalantly. "And as for those ants..."
"Sorry to interrupt, my darlings, but I have a few questions about the sound quality of these new microphones..."
True to her word, Garcia began asking you how well you could hear them and instructed you to lower your voice to a whisper and then raise it sharply. Some sort of test or whatever. You did it all patiently while staring at the red-haired mop at the station across from you. Allen seemed pretty relaxed now, probably realizing nothing was going to happen to him.
"Okay, now do the sound like a chicken. I mean the noise."
"What?"
"You know, cluck."
"Pen, is this really necessary?"
"Yes, sweetie. I need to check something else. Last thing, I swear. Scout’s honor."
You sighed, looking around at the people nearby. Few were paying attention to you, you were just one face in the crowd. God, for something like this, you could ask for a raise.
"Exactly, honey. Just louder," Garcia asked.
You rolled your eyes and tried again to make the chicken sound. An older couple glanced at you, their eyes wide with horror.
"Alright, enough," you muttered, embarrassed, into the earpiece, quickly moving to a different spot.
And then you heard the pair on the other side literally choking with laughter.
"I fucking hate you guys," you said. "I hate you. Especially you, Penelope. Give me Reid on the mic, from now on I'm only talking to him."
Another burst of laughter from the woman. You clenched your jaw. And as if that weren’t enough…
 "Did you want to hear me, little chick?" Reid asked politely.
“I should’ve gouged your eye out with a chopstick when I had the chance,” you hissed into the phone, a little too loudly, drawing a few curious glances. You were supposed to be watching for suspicious people, but it turned out you were acting the most suspicious of all…
“Did you catch what she said?” Reid addressed Penelope. “I only heard clucking.”
“Ha-ha,” you rolled your eyes.
For fifteen minutes, you had to endure such jokes. You seriously began to worry that they’d never get tired of it, but finally, after a quarter of an hour of psychological torture, they fell silent. You kept a sharp eye on your surroundings.
“By the way,” you began, still a bit offended by the chicken joke. “You guys should regret not being here to see these inventions. Perfect for you, nerds.”
“Well, actually, we can see them,” Reid’s voice came through the earpiece, sounding very clear, clearly taking the whole mic for himself. “Garcia grabbed footage from the cameras inside the room.”
“So you can see me? This whole time?”
 “Yep. And we saw that terrified couple who ran as far away from you as they could as soon as you started clucking like a chicken. Poor souls.”
You ignored the comment and began scanning the room for the cameras. When you found them, you scratched your forehead with your middle finger.
“Can you see this too?”
“I can see how much fun you’re having,” he scoffed. “Are you going to include that in your report?”
“Exactly. Right under your name, framed with a glittery little heart. Any other requests?” Not waiting for his response, you added, “By the way, how do I look in your jacket? Does it fit me well?”
"I think so. I mean, the blazer is incredibly well-tailored. And of good quality. It’s impossible for it to look bad on anyone." He paused for a moment, and his voice grew more serious. "How’s it going? Have you noticed anything suspicious? Still feeling stressed?"
"Not anymore," you admitted, speaking the truth. Even though the exhibition had just started and was supposed to last about another hour, you felt like you had passed some milestone where nothing could go wrong anymore. "But of course, I’m still keeping an eye out. I had a little chat with Allen…"
"I heard," Reid acknowledged. "Very interesting lecture on the human brain, I must admit."
You let out a small laugh.
"I talked to Allen earlier. Still in the car. After what he told me, I don’t think he's a paranoiac. The guy is just really worried about his safety. And not just his.”
A moment of silence fell on both sides.
"Speaking of Allen, he's heading your way," he informed you, likely watching the feed from the cameras. "I guess I'll hear from you later then. I mean, I’ll be hearing you the whole time, just not the other way around. Unless you want me to constantly broadcast about ant reproduction?"
"Sorry, Reid, but I’ll pass. Maybe some other time," you chuckled, noticing the engineer approaching. As he walked, he bumped into a man in the crowd and exchanged a quick apology. You used that moment to add something else, a bit impulsively. "And what about this? Do you see this?"
You pressed the inside of your hand to your lips before unfolding it, sending a kiss toward one of the cameras. Reid was silent as Allen drew closer.
"I see it," he finally admitted, quieter. You regretted not being able to see his expression, it was unusually hard for you to picture it at that particular moment. Was he smiling? "And I like it a lot more than what you showed me earlier."
You turned your back to the camera so he wouldn’t see you smile. It only hit you afterward that he probably saw it anyway, just from a different angle.
"I see you're enjoying the exhibition," Allen said, standing in front of you with his hands in his pockets. He had stopped pretending to be the classy guy and fully embraced his more laid-back side. "So, uh, sorry, but I think I'd rather head out now."
Worried, you discreetly glanced around.
"Did something happen? Did someone stare at you weirdly, do something...?"
He shook his head, a negative gesture.
"Nothing like that. I just saw what I needed to see. Check it off the list, I’m ready to leave..."
After his words, an absolute darkness fell.
Absolute darkness, in the truest sense of the word. The exhibition hall had no windows. When the lights went out, it felt as if someone had tied a cloth tightly over your eyes. Yet, like a fool, you kept looking around, as if moving your head could somehow tear through the blackness enveloping you, freeing you from the growing panic that was slowly flooding your senses.
“Garcia, what’s up with the cameras?” Reid’s voice sounded in your ear. He was confused, not yet frightened. He didn’t know what was happening yet. None of you did.
The people around you, of course, were also surprised by the sudden blackout. A few muffled gasps echoed, one or two squeals, a smattering of curses. But there were no screams, no one tearing at their throats or blindly bolting forward, trampling others in the process. That came later.
Exactly four seconds after the first gunshot rang out.
Before, the world seemed to freeze in place; everyone’s breaths were trapped in their lungs, unwilling to escape, even out of curiosity. Your body lunged forward as if trying to flee, but it quickly dawned on you that there was nowhere to run. Where had the shot come from? Who had fired it? Was someone hurt?
Something—or rather, someone’s hand—clamped painfully around your wrist. Instinctively, you tried to pull free, letting out a sound somewhere between a growl and a garbled cry.
“It’s me,” Allen choked out, his voice trembling. You couldn’t see his silhouette, but you knew the blood had drained from his face. “What the fuck... what the fuck is happen—”
The second shot rang out, closer and sharper than the first. Chaos erupted in the room. Screams, so hysterical they drowned out the voices coming through your earpiece, filled the air. Something struck you hard, sending you stumbling as pain radiated through your shoulder. It was an empty kind of pain—something you felt and yet didn’t. You realized it must have been one of the panicked people charging blindly through the dark.
“Here,” you commanded, your mind snapping briefly into clarity. In your mind’s eye, you pictured the layout of the room before the lights went out. The corner of the hall, the wooden table behind you, where one of the prototypes had been displayed.
You slipped under the table, dragging Allen with you. He groaned as his head hit the underside of the furniture.
You were so utterly disoriented that it felt as though your own name was echoing on a loop inside your head. It took you a moment to realize it wasn’t just your mind playing tricks—it was someone’s voice, growing more familiar with each passing second.
The third gunshot.
Allen choked on his breath, his hand still gripping your wrist so tightly you feared it might snap—yet you didn’t register it as pain, merely as a sensation. The two of you crouched beneath the table, facing each other, teetering on the edge of succumbing to the abyss of panic.
Reid spoke your name again, faintly, as though he were far too close to the microphone. As though leaning in would somehow make you hear him better—make you respond.
“I’m here,” you managed to stammer, the first thing that came to your mind.
"Thank God, I thought..." he sighed, suddenly stopping, as if realizing it wasn't yet time for relief. "Are you... are you hurt?"
"My arm."
You didn't know why those words escaped your lips. Maybe because, although your mind was too occupied with trying to figure out the situation to focus on something like pain, your body couldn’t ignore the fact that it felt it. Against your will, you let out a hiss and finally pulled your hand out of Allen's grip.
"You've been shot? We... we can't see anything, do you have anything to stop the bleeding, maybe use my jacket..."
"I don't know what's happening, we've completely lost access to the camera feed, someone must have turned them all off, just like the power... Reid, immediately notify Hotch, he needs to know something's wrong..."
On the other side, chaos erupted, comparable to the one surrounding you. Penelope was aggressively pressing the keyboard keys, Reid was rushing between a phone conversation with Hotch and throwing random phrases at you like stay where you are or how's your arm?
But was staying put the right decision? Wasn't it just waiting for the person responsible for starting this... massacre to come for you? On the other hand, how were you supposed to escape? In complete darkness? You had a weapon... but what good was it if you couldn't see anything? A sound of resigned sobbing escaped you.
And then, suddenly, right before your eyes, Allen’s red hair materialized, his fingers pressed into his skull as if he wanted to tear it apart himself. You both looked into each other's eyes. Visibility returned.
“We have light,” you said, though it didn’t loosen the grip on your chest.
“What?” Penelope sputtered, confused. “We still can’t see anything, the cameras are still…”
Allen let out a choked cry. You followed his gaze. Just before your hiding spot, a pair of leather shoes stopped.
“Get out,” commanded a male voice. You lifted your head. Above you stood a man with dark facial hair and a submachine gun, looking like an extension of his broad shoulder. You immediately noticed, besides the weapon, he was also carrying a black sports bag slung over his shoulder. Both of you were too disoriented and terrified to follow the order. “I said, fuckin’ get out and against the wall, I won’t repeat myself.”
Like animals herded into a pen, you followed his instructions to the designated spot. The entire crowd inside gathered against one of the blood-red walls of the room, some pressing their backs against it as if that embrace would ensure their safety...
“What’s going on there now?” Reid asked. “We still don’t have a feed... I can hear you breathing,” he blurted out unexpectedly.
You realized that your breath had indeed become heavy and loud. It dawned on you that you hadn’t gone through any extensive training on how to handle a situation like this; you were useless...
“Just...damn it, I know it’s easier for me to say, but try not to panic, okay? Whatever’s going on... panic will only make it worse. You need to focus, please. Can you do that? Breathe? Slowly, like I’m doing now?”
Your hands clenched around the fabric of his jacket, feeling it under your fingers. Closing your eyes, you could almost imagine him standing right in front of you, in this very building, speaking those words. It helped calm you down, at least enough for your mind to stay somewhat communicative...
“Good. Very...very good. Now, can you describe what’s happening over there?”
You knew that every piece of information you passed on would be worth its weight in gold. You tightened your grip on the fabric of Reid's jacket and began scanning your surroundings.
“One shooter. He’s herding us... all of us, against one of the walls and... stuffing prototypes into the bag, every one he can get his hands on,” you reported, describing everything you’d seen. “It looks like a robbery.”
“Just one?” Reid asked. “What were those shots? Someone... got hurt?”
You were about to deny it when your attention was drawn to a bloodstain spreading across the marble floor at the opposite corner of the room. Allen nudged you, pointing to something else—a body lying motionless.
“Guards. He... he killed all the guards,” you recognized them by their uniforms, the words barely escaping your throat. So, he hadn’t hesitated to kill, not one of those inexperienced types with any moral inhibitions. Trying to make sense of everything happening around you, you pressed your hand to your forehead. “But... but how could he see them in this darkness...”
“Night vision,” Allen interrupted suddenly, his previously hunched figure straightening as he realized it.
You found the man busy with the theft and controlling the area. He was quite solidly built, you could compare him to Derek. And, as the engineer had observed, around his neck hung a device for seeing in the dark.
“The police have arrived outside the museum, but they won’t go inside as long as you’re trapped with him. They don’t want anyone to get hurt,” Penelope informed you, then let out a soft, wheezing breath, as if she was trying to calm herself down. “Sweetheart, the whole team is on their way too. From now on, you’re our informant…”
“Is Christopher Allen among you?” A commanding voice suddenly cut through the sheet of panic blanketing the room, drawing everyone’s attention. It belonged to a truly imposing man with a shaved head and a forehead lined with wrinkles that seemed to stem more from exhaustion than age. But by far, the most significant detail about him was the submachine gun he held in his hands.
Two. There were two shooters.
Your focus shifted to the man standing right in front of you, as if delivering some kind of speech. At first, you didn’t even register what he’d asked. He repeated the question quickly and impatiently, and you froze. Not that you’d been particularly active before, but in that moment, all your bodily functions seemed to shut down completely. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Allen—not even for a fleeting glance.
“Christopher Allen. Biotech engineer. He should be here,” the man continued, scanning the faces in front of him almost desperately, searching for the one he needed. He sounded almost... distraught? That broken expression, teetering on the edge of tears and madness, starkly contrasted with his militaristic physique.
Suddenly, his accomplice appeared, tugging at his arm.
“Jesus, give it a rest. We need to get out of here. The car’s waiting for us, remember?”
He shoved the smaller man with a force befitting his build, sending him staggering backward.
“I’m not leaving until I talk to him!” he declared with furious determination. “Christopher Allen…”
“You’ve gotta be shitting me…”
“Allen…”
His eyes scanned the surroundings until they landed on the two of you. You felt someone lightly wrap their fingers around your forearm, gripping it almost instinctively. It wasn’t a strong or painful hold, but rather one born of genuine fear, seeking protection. Protection that, from the start, had been your responsibility to provide. Yet now, standing face to face with two armed assailants, with lifeless bodies lying in pools of blood in the same room…you felt the crushing weight of an obligation you were physically incapable of fulfilling, creating a storm of chaos within your mind.
Allen must have been fooling himself into thinking he could blend into the crowd and remain unnoticed. Even as everyone’s gaze began to focus on him, urgently and with some unspoken hope, he stubbornly stood still. Or was he simply paralyzed by fear?
For the first time since he was called out, you looked at him. His eyes conveyed one thing: a simple message. It was him. The man who had been sending him threats, the one who had broken into his house. You furrowed your brows, this whole situation was becoming incomprehensible. He cared so much about kidnapping the engineer that he had organized the heist at the exhibition where he was supposed to be?
 “Come here. I need to talk to you, you… you need to do something for me.”
Once again, in your ears, you heard the description of the tortures that were mentioned in the letter.
"You have to do this," you said very softly, almost a whisper. "We can't let him get angry. Do you hear me?"
 It seemed like your words weren’t reaching him at all. You nervously glanced at the gunmen, hoping that the command you had given hadn’t raised any suspicion or made them think you were trying to outsmart them, deceive them in some way. Slowly, but with deep remorse, you loosened Allen’s grip on your forearm. His chest wasn’t rising, as if he weren’t breathing. But then his gaze shifted, not to you, but to the people around you, to the ones standing in fear, waiting for his reaction. Something in his face shifted, then he took a step forward.
“Slowly,” you instructed.
It seemed like the best solution. Unsub knew that the person he was looking for was among you, he had identified him without any difficulty. Allen couldn’t hide or escape, all that was left for him was to comply with the orders, for his own sake and for everyone else's. It was also important that he stalled for time. You hoped that as soon as your team arrived, they’d be able to come up with something. Maybe they were already there, working to make contact with the shooters and free you all, alive and unharmed.
At the same time, someone called your name.
"Report in."
It was Hotch. At the sound of his stoic voice, a fleeting wave of relief washed over you. You even parted your lips to answer when you realized the second gunman was staring at you. The room fell into absolute silence as Allen slowly approached them. You shouldn’t reveal that you were with the FBI or any other agency—that was a basic rule…
 "Listen to me carefully now," the unsub spat, placing one of his massive hands on Allen's shoulder, causing him to almost buckle under the forceful touch. Someone behind you let out a muffled cry. "You need to remove it from me, do you understand?"
"Shit," his partner muttered, shaking his head in disbelief. He was holding a bag with the stolen equipment, constantly glancing toward the exit. You wondered if he had anything to do with the threats sent to Allen. "Shit, we need to get the hell out of here before the cops completely block our escape. We don't have time for your fucking delusions!"
“Remove…?” the baffled engineer repeated, completely thrown off.
“The chip. The one inside me. Right here, on the back of my neck.” The man jabbed a finger at the spot. “Someone has to cut it out of me. You work with brains—you must know how to do it. He’s controlling me, watching my thoughts… I saw an interview with you once. I know you’re the only one who can do this…”
The man’s words devolved into a stream of incoherent rambling. Allen had no idea how to respond, and silence stretched on the other end of the phone. Meanwhile, the second gunman tried once again to persuade his partner to escape, but this only triggered an explosive burst of rage that made everyone around them shrink in fear.
“Shut up, or I’ll blow your head off too!” the man shouted. “I’ve waited too long for this. I don’t give a damn about all that crap you stole. I don’t care if they catch me. He’s going to cut out that chip!”
“What chip?” Allen finally managed to stammer. “I don’t understand…”
“The chip the government implanted in me to control me! That’s why no hospital will remove it—they’re all under government control! Only you can do it!”
“The unsub is delusional, that much is clear,” Reid’s voice suddenly crackled in your earpiece, catching you by surprise. He must have made it from Penelope’s office to the museum—where he joined Hotch and the rest of the team—at an impressive speed. “The reality he’s constructed is starting to blur with actual reality, which makes him extremely dangerous. Just from the tone of his speech, you can tell he’s emotionally unbalanced and on the brink of a breakdown. Unfortunately, this means his actions could be erratic and violent, with a strong tendency toward escalation.”
"What can I do?" you whispered as quietly as possible, taking advantage of the commotion in the center of the room.
"Are you there? Can you speak safely?" he asked, exhaling a breath of trapped air. "I mean... What you can do, first and foremost, is stay cautious. Don’t say or do anything that could provoke him further," he instructed, his tone turning focused and determined to provide you with as much guidance as possible. You nodded almost imperceptibly as you listened, as if he could see you. At some point, your fingers began nervously clutching the fabric of his blazer again, a small, unconscious tic.
"Don’t confront his delusions—or rather, don’t outright deny them. Try not to introduce any new elements either, to avoid deepening his paranoia, alright? That could put you in even greater danger..."
"Above all, try to redirect his anger away from Allen and the other hostages," Hotch cut in. "We’re working on a way to get inside. You just need to buy us some time."
Buy some time, it was easy for him to say, you thought with sudden frustration. What exactly could you do? It was incredibly hard to make any decisions when you were fully aware that their consequences could result in the death of an innocent person—or people.
Allen was still in front of the unsub, gripped tightly by the gun-wielding man, slightly shaking his head from side to side, clearly overwhelmed by the situation.
"But... but how am I supposed to get the chip out, do you really believe the government..."
"He doesn’t have the right tools," you interrupted, taking a step forward to draw the shooters’ attention to you. You raised your hands in a gesture of surrender as soon as you found yourself in the second man’s line of sight. You were scared of the direction Allen was heading in—after all, Reid had told you not to deny his delusions. Though you weren’t sure it was the right approach, you tried to make eye contact with the unsub. You had a feeling that he might only fully understand what you were trying to convey if you did.
Everyone was looking at you now. Nervously, you swallowed before speaking again.
"If you want him to remove the chip from your body... you’ll need at least a scalpel. Well, and if it was implanted by the government... that might not be enough?"
To your surprise, the second attacker spoke up.
"She's right, Erick, we don't have anything like that. Leave him, we need to get out of here... though fuck, it probably doesn't matter anymore, I wonder if the police have already caught our driver..."
You hoped that the team had heard this and started looking for suspicious vehicles in the area. Erick, or rather the unsub, began to stare intensely at you, analyzing what you'd said.
"Keep it up," Reid said. "It looks like you’ve planted some doubt in his mind about his own plan. You can keep going in that direction, just please, please, be careful..."
"Reid," Hotch admonished him.
You took a deep breath, your mind was working so fast that it was starting to go blank. You had to say something more before it consumed you entirely.
"But... but I'm sure that if you had met under different circumstances, outside the museum, he would have been able to extract the chip..."
"No! I've waited too long, I can't stand having this crap under my skin for another minute! He'll take it out now, or he won't leave here!"
Allen's raised hands trembled at those words.
"How can we communicate with the police? Is there a phone here?" he asked his companion.
"Are you fucking out of your mind..."
"They'll bring us the equipment. A scalpel. They won't have a choice, or I'll shoot them all, one by one."
"We should focus on how to get out of here..."
"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT!" the unsub roared at him. Fueled by this outburst, he shoved Allen away so forcefully that the man fell to the floor. The startled man took a step back, unable to hide his fear. It was clear who had the final say in this duo. Erick was not only physically larger, most likely more ruthless, but above all, incredibly unpredictable. Without looking at you, he issued an order.
"Everyone sit against the wall, you too." Allen awkwardly got to his feet and almost ran to the indicated spot.
You didn't want to sit, to put yourself in an even more vulnerable position. But when a man with a submachine gun and a completely deranged gleam in his eyes is standing in front of you, you don't have much of a choice. Slowly, you sat down on the floor, surrounded by all these terrified people.
You studied the faces of everyone around you—scientists and random people who had ended up here simply because they were intrigued by the exhibit's theme. And that innocent curiosity had led them into such a hopeless situation, where each breath, drawn into trembling lungs, could prove to be the final one. What terrified you was the fact that the only thing distinguishing you from them was the tiny microphone pinned to your clothes and the earpiece in your ear.
The woman sitting next to you, so close that your elbows were touching, looked as though she was about to faint. Without hesitation, you offered her your hand, which she took with no resistance. In situations like that, the escape from fear was desperately sought wherever it could be found—even among strangers.
“What’s happening in there now?” Hotch asked.
You explained the situation to him as clearly and logically as possible, correcting anything they might have missed due to their lack of actual insight into what was happening inside the museum. The woman beside you looked at you strangely, smudged mascara around her eyes.
“Please don’t worry,” you whispered, making sure none of the attackers could hear you. Though maybe you shouldn’t have, you felt you needed to reveal yourself to her, to help her survive the nightmare she had found herself in. “I’m... a federal agent. I have contact with the team outside, they’re working on how to get us out of here.”
You didn’t know if those words had particularly soothed her fear—just as you spoke them, Allen practically pressed himself against you, trying to whisper something into your ear.
“Give me your gun,” he practically ordered.
You looked at him with your eyebrows raised in shock. No words were needed. Your face clearly expressed one big what?
He looked like one of those people going on and on about a newly invented device they had been working on for years, staying up every night. In his eyes was a comparable crazy but incredibly self-assured gleam.
“I know you have it, but you won’t use it. Because you're scared. And I don’t blame you!” he quickly added, moving slightly away from you. Still, your faces were tilted toward each other in a conspiratorial whisper.
“But listen to me. He cares about me, right? Or rather, he cares that I get the nonexistent chip from him. He won’t hurt me when I get closer, he’s too desperate, in his eyes, I’m his only chance…”
“You must have lost your mind,” you said through clenched teeth. Was he really willing to take such a risk and play the hero when he and his fiancée were expecting a child? “And what about the other guy, huh? Do you think he’ll just stand there calmly when...?”
“Then I’ll shoot him first. I used to go to the shooting range, I was pretty good at it. The other one will be too scared to hurt me, and then I...”
“Absolutely not,” Reid interjected.
You snorted.
“As if I would even consider it…” you muttered. Looking at Allen, you tapped your forehead. “No way. You’re not risking your life on such a stupid plan where everything could go wrong…”
“Do you think I’m asking for your opinion?” he hissed, clutching his head in desperation. “The answer is no. I’m just saying, give me your gun. Where is it?”
As he said this, he grabbed the fabric of your blazer, searching under it for what he so desperately wanted. You tried to catch his hand, but he trapped it in his grip, digging through the layers of your clothes, under your skirt. You jerked your whole body in an attempt to break free.
“Leave me alone, they’ll notice us soon…”
“What’s he doing?” Reid asked sharply. Although he couldn’t see what was happening, his voice was not only confused, but also clearly worried, maybe even angry.
“Just give it to me, what the hell does it hurt…”
His hand, despite your resistance, finally reached the grip of your gun, slightly sliding it out from beneath your skirt. You shot a quick glance toward the attackers, still engrossed in their conversation—or rather, argument. Terrified by the thought that they might notice what Allen was pulling from under your clothing, you instinctively swung at his face, causing his head to snap back with a muffled cry of pain.
“What language do I need to speak for you to understand? What you’re planning is idiotic,” you said, your words flowing together with a surprisingly calm yet furious ease. You struggled to keep your voice low, feeling as though shouting might make him grasp it faster. But that wasn’t an option. “You’d risk not only your life but everyone else’s,” you said, gesturing toward what you now had no choice but to call the hostages. “And no one wants to die because of some brainless idiot with a hero complex.”
After you hit him, Allen backed away to a distance that no longer invaded your personal space. With your breath quickened, you adjusted the position of the gun, suddenly panicked that it might fall out during his attempt to grab it against your will. Despite yourself, a strange feeling overcame you. Out of everyone—of all the people trapped in the museum—you were the only one with even minimal knowledge of what to do in this situation, the only one with outside communication to the police, and, most importantly... a weapon. And yet, with that arsenal at your disposal, you were doing embarrassingly little to improve the situation.
Your jaw tightened at the thought, your fists clutching the fabric of your blazer so hard that your knuckles turned white. It was astonishing how much that small action helped you regain your composure. Not just the feel of the fabric but also... the scent. You could almost imagine you weren’t entirely alone in this. And though you wouldn’t trade places with Reid or anyone else from the team for anything, you couldn’t shake the feeling they would handle this far better than you were.
And speaking of Reid...
"Are you okay?" he asked again, his tone much softer than before.
"I'm fine," you tried to give your voice a casual, almost dismissive tone, though you doubted you fully succeeded in masking the tension. You let out a helpless scoff in an attempt to lighten it. "I mean, fine as much as one can be fine in this situation..."
You trailed off, and he hesitated before replying.
"Hang in there, okay?" he said, so quietly you thought you might have misheard. It made you wonder if it was because he didn’t want anyone else to overhear what he was saying into the mic. If that were the case, was it because he didn’t want anyone accusing him of chatting with you when he should be doing something more important? Or maybe, he just didn’t want this simple yet anxious message to reach unwelcome ears and lose its sense of privacy. You heard him swallow. "We’ll get you all out of there soon. Garcia got the phone number of one of the attackers, the delusional one—his name’s Erick Larson, by the way. If he has it on him..."
As if on cue, the sound of an incoming call rang out. They stopped talking, and the surprised man reached into his pocket.
"What are you going to do? Negotiate?" you asked.
"Hotch is going to talk to him. The main goal is to get the hostages released."
The word hostage sounded so strange to you; you couldn’t connect it to your situation. A hostage didn’t have a gun tucked under their clothing or communicate with an FBI team through an earpiece. Those people, holding each other's hands in fear and huddled on the floor, were the hostages. Not you.
"Can you stay on the line?" the words slipped out before you could stop them. "Just, I don’t know... tell me how it really is with those ants or something." You squeezed your eyes shut as a wave of embarrassment crashed over you. You were acting like a scared child who needed a bedtime story to forget the monster under the bed. "Forget it, that’s stupid. You’ve probably got your hands full. Focus on helping us, on the negotiations."
"I'm still on the line," he reassured you, even before the echo of your last words faded. "And I’ll stay on it the whole time. And since talking to you might help you not lose your mind in there... well, I guess that counts as helping all of you. The information you’ve given us, everything you’ve told us... you’re playing a crucial role in all of this."
"I don’t think so. I could be doing so much more."
"Like what, something that idiot was planning?" he asked, stressing the word idiot. "Please, don’t even think about it. You’re doing exactly what’s needed. You’re not sticking your neck out, you’re staying in contact with us. You’re calming the others down, like that woman. That... that’s heroism, not blindly rushing at two armed men."
Moved by his words, you weakly smiled. You’d forgotten again that he couldn’t see you, or maybe it was just automatic.
"Stop, I’m going to blush. But... but thank you, Reid."
"You don’t need to thank me. Oh, he picked up..."
And indeed, Erik pressed the phone to his ear, probably realizing that it was the police trying to make contact. You fixed your gaze on him.
A completely new stage of the robbery was beginning, one on which everything depended—negotiations.
*
Spencer had never had a particular obsession with control. 
In the vast majority of crisis situations, all he needed was a deep understanding of the causes and course of events. A thorough analysis of what had happened so far, drawing conclusions based on that, and then coming up with possible solutions, each with its pros and cons, which he also had to consider.
It involved emotionally distancing himself from the situation and relying on advice from his trusty friend—logic. And when he was guided by that cold logic, he didn’t feel the need to actively participate in what was happening around him or take any direct control. But in that particular moment—ever since he had heard the first shot coming from inside the museum, shortly after losing access to the cameras—he was almost losing his mind over how little he could do. Powerlessness was the first blow, the fact that her life, and others', depended on a man with probable schizophrenia, driven by dangerous delusions, the second, much stronger one.
As with every hostage situation, a makeshift operations camp was set up outside the building, where all necessary units gathered. Garcia stayed at her post, but he saw no other option but to go there personally. The rest of the team quickly gathered, and Hotch arrived so fast it seemed like he lived just around the corner. After all, there was a member of his team inside, the one he had sent there, never expecting such a turn of events. The two perpetrators, who were working together, seemed to have two completely different goals. One, apparently, was persuaded to go along with a simple robbery and escape. The second, Erick, however, had a different, more complicated desire from the start. He wanted Allen, who was supposed to extract a non-existent chip from his body, allegedly implanted by the government.
Allen. He spoke that name with an incomprehensible bitterness and disdain. He was disgusted by his thoughtlessness, pure stupidity. Though he was familiar with his achievements in the field of neurotechnology, he couldn't call him a scientist, really not anything other than an idiot. And it was all because he had nearly put her and everyone else in danger, because he pressured her so much that she had to defend herself by striking him in the face. He remembered how once they had slept in the same bed, so small that they almost fell off it and were forced to lie literally on top of each other. By accident, he had jabbed her with his elbow in the ribs, and before he could even whisper an apology, she hit him with such force that he lost his breath. He hoped Allen had taken an even harder blow.
He forced himself back to reality, as everyone gathered around Hotch, who was leaning over the phone. The unsub had answered, and the discussion began.
"We'll deliver what you need. All the equipment. But first, you must release the innocent people inside and promise you won't hurt anyone else. Not Allen, or anyone."
They argued, a lot. Of course, they wanted him to let everyone go, which was, realistically, impossible. Eventually, the number sixteen was agreed upon, a little more than half of the people present.
Through the microphone clipped to her clothes, they could hear him pointing at the people who were to be released. The second perpetrator seemed to have completely given in to his paranoid companion, and stopped trying to convince him to escape. He must have realized it was already too late for that.
“You’re the one who’s leaving,” he said, his words very clear, suggesting he was standing very close to her, pointing at her.
Spencer straightened up, a sudden rush of premature relief washing over him. Premature—that was the key word.
“No,” she protested sharply. “No, let her go instead of me. She’s older and not feeling well. I should stay…”
He pressed the microphone to his mouth, trying to talk her out of it.
“Do what they say, resisting might make him angry…”
“No, Reid, she’s right,” Hotch interrupted him. Spencer looked at his boss in surprise, shaking his head in confusion. Instead of explaining his decision to him, Hotch turned to her.
“You have to do everything you can to stay inside. You’re our only source of information, our access to what’s happening in there.”
“Hotch…”
Someone, JJ, placed a hand on his shoulder, stopping him from protesting further. It dawned on him that they were right, but... it was hard for him to accept. It was true that, as an FBI agent, part of her duty sometimes meant risking her life for the greater good. Still, this decision made his hands ball into fists, and he had to take a deep breath to steady himself. Suddenly, it struck him that if an unfamiliar agent, not a member of the BAU, not his friend, and someone who hadn’t shared a bed with him when his fear of the dark grew stronger, were in the same situation... he would have agreed with Hotch without hesitation.
“I told you to leave, so you leave. There’s gotta be sixteen people, or they won’t bring it to me, goddammit.”
“So let someone else go…” She cut off abruptly, a rustling sound echoing through the air, as if— as if he tugged at her clothes. Spencer almost spoke again but stopped herself. The same thought had crossed Hotch’s face, he saw it. 
“Seriously, this will be better. I... I can help with removing the chip...”
“Allen has to do it.”
“Yes, but…” her voice grew more desperate, trying to come up with something more, an excuse to fulfill her duty.
“Oh, what don’t you understand, you stupid bitch…”
Spencer anticipated the sudden outburst of aggression, he had felt it building for a while. Though the unsub was unpredictable, his anger rose and fell within mere seconds, Spencer knew it was all heading in that direction. So, he squeezed his eyes shut just before the horrible, dull thud rang out, followed by a muffled cry of pain. Then the sound was drowned out by a rush, something like a thud, and he could only guess that she had fallen to the floor.
He didn't open his eyes, but something pricked at his chest. He knew that if he looked at Hotch, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from giving him a big, i told you so. It wasn’t even about being right—he didn’t care about that, not at that moment. What mattered to him was that nothing happened to her, and that was exactly what had just happened.
No one from the team said a word, though Derek turned his gaze away from the speaker, his expression one of discomfort, like someone averting their eyes from an unpleasant scene. Hotch stared at some fixed point ahead, his face unreadable, before leaning into the microphone just as—
“What the hell is this?!” the unsub suddenly screamed. “A gun? Why the hell does she have a gun on her?!”
Reid’s eyes shot open as he nearly dropped to his knees by the microphone, as if somehow that could help. The weapon must have slipped out when she fell, sliding free from where it had been concealed beneath her clothes…
He noticed Elle nervously biting her thumb, her face pale as a sheet. He read the same grim, terrified realization on her face that had already taken root in everyone’s minds. She was burned. Her cover as the assistant was completely blown.
“He can’t find out she’s FBI,” Gideon declared, leaning heavily against the edge of the table. “He’s a paranoid maniac who thinks the government is after him. If he realizes a federal agent has been in there the entire time…”
“Wait!” the second attacker spoke up. He had long since given up and was now quietly following his partner’s orders. “I heard the hostages talking... something about there being someone from the FBI among them, someone who’s in contact with the cops. I thought they were just talking crap, but...”
“How does he know that?” JJ asked, her lips slightly parted in shock.
“She told one of the women,” Spencer blurted out, though it felt like the words came from someone else. Some part of him—still detached from the full realization of what her exposure meant—clung to the fragments of logic not yet consumed by his nerves. “To calm her down... but that woman must have passed it on to someone else.”
“FBI?” the unsub repeated, almost in a daze. “Fucking FBI?”
The sound of something slamming echoed sharply—an explosion of frustration and shock. Every pained whimper, every labored breath she took, reached Spencer with cruel clarity, amplified by that damned new microphone clipped to her chest, capturing every sound in merciless detail.
He wanted to cover his ears, to block it out, but he couldn’t. His lower lip trembled, caught between screaming or vomiting the moment he opened his mouth. 
Covering his ears would have been a selfish gesture, one that would only bring relief to him. She didn’t have that option; all that was left for her was to endure, as he assumed, the next kicks...
He lowered his head, not looking at the others, not wanting to see their equally helpless expressions. And although he hated himself for even thinking about it, he took two steps to move away. To escape from this place, from these sounds. Because he simply couldn’t bear them.
However, he didn’t get far; he staggered as if drunk and had to grab the table tightly to keep from falling. JJ, in some protective impulse that she probably wasn’t even aware of, reached out her hand, wanting to touch his shoulder, but he pushed her away.
“I’m calling him,” Hotch announced, immediately moving into action. “Maybe that’ll stop him…”
“Check if she has a microphone on her. If she’s with the FBI, she could have been spying on us the whole time,” suggested the second attacker, in a strangely satisfied tone. He was probably some sadistic bastard who enjoyed this turn of events.
This caused Erik to stop his attack. He completely ignored the incoming call. She took a breath, inhaling deeply, though it clearly caused her pain.
“She has…”
The unsub’s voice became very clear, he must have located the microphone and then disconnected it from her clothing, carefully watching him.
“We need to go in, we have to do something,” Elle said desperately, but it didn’t stir anyone else. 
Yes, they needed to do something, but... what? Going in meant putting the hostages at risk, and their survival was the priority.
"I knew the government was spying on me," Erick muttered to himself, the microphone had probably slipped from his hand and fallen to the ground. "Not just with the chip, but they also sent that fucking..." He kicked her. "...agent."
"Give it to me," Spencer requested, exhaling with a resigned hiss. He was, of course, referring to the microphone. She still had the earpiece in; she could hear him. He didn’t yet know what he intended to say. Maybe he’d ask her to stay strong? Assure her that it would all be over soon? Would that even count as a lie if he had no real certainty they could take any action to save her? Or was this one of those morally gray situations where a lie was better than the truth?
Without protest, someone handed the microphone to him, practically shoving it into his hands.
But then they lost the connection.
The unsub must have destroyed it, stomping the microphone underfoot.
And before it happened—before the static filled the line—a gunshot rang out.
Spence found himself sitting on a chair. Not that he’d blacked out in the literal sense, but one moment he was standing upright, and the next he was slumped onto the seat—probably the only chair in their makeshift camp across from the museum. It was one of those folding chairs made of black metal and unbelievably uncomfortable. For some reason, their look always reminded him of golf courses in the blazing sun. Sometimes they’d be there… wait, why the hell was he thinking about chairs?
Disoriented, he lifted his gaze. Derek was pacing back and forth, his hands on his head, while Elle and JJ were nowhere in sight. Hotch stood in front of him, turned slightly to the side, eyes fixed on the ground, a phone pressed to his ear. His rolled-up sleeves exposed tense veins on his forearms, his hands clenched into fists.
“You killed a hostage,” Hotch said the moment the attacker picked up. Hearing the words spoken aloud, the gunshot echoed again in Spencer’s mind. He flinched, though he hadn’t the first time it happened for real.
It really happened. This wasn’t some hysterical thought creeping into your mind when someone you care about is late to a meeting and doesn’t pick up their phone, the kind of thought where your brain starts whispering that something terrible must have happened. It wasn’t a dream either, nor a nightmare blending with reality. And it wasn’t some devastating novel, a climactic moment designed to shatter the reader’s heart into pieces.
This
really
happened.
"I’ll remind you of the terms of our agreement," Hotch continued. His tone was usually sharp, leaving no room for argument. But now, having just lost a member of his team and addressing the person responsible for it, his words didn’t just cut—they sliced. Spencer fixed his gaze on him, unable to comprehend how Hotch could remain so composed in the moment. He himself…
“You don’t harm anyone else, and in return, we provide you with the necessary tools. Shooting that innocent person…”
How did it come to this—that the person who, just that morning, ordered Chinese food with him to calm her nerves; who had teasingly told him to clip the microphone onto her, leaving him flustered; whose sweet scent of hair lingered so strongly in his senses that he had to hold his breath just to focus; who, one moment, could make him laugh until tears blurred his vision, and the next, worry so deeply about her that he felt feverish with concern; who listened, truly listened, even when he had grown tired of his own voice; who helped him discover pieces of himself he hadn’t known were there; who revealed, day after day, some new and enchanting fragment of her soul; and whose laughter made him want to capture its melody, bottle it, and keep it for eternity—was now reduced to the cold, detached phrase an innocent person shot dead?
He realized his mind had become entirely consumed with replaying those moments. Thanks to his eidetic memory, each recollection was painfully vivid, yet at the same time—perhaps due to the awareness of what came next—filled with a paralyzing void. Detached from reality, he wasn’t even listening to the ongoing negotiations, only snapping back when the shadow of someone’s figure fell over him.
“Spencer,” Gideon called his name, alternating between looking at him with concern and averting his gaze, as if unable to bear the shattered expression on his face. “Did you hear what Hotch said?”
He couldn’t bring himself to shake his head, though he doubted it was necessary. Rarely did something fail to interest him, especially something Hotch had said, but whatever it was, it had landed firmly in that narrow category. After all, what could Hotch possibly have said? That he’d reached an agreement with the murderer, who would now release eighteen hostages instead of sixteen? Or perhaps, in an act of twisted mercy, he’d declared that once they brought the requested items, the killer would allow one person to go inside and retrieve her body?
He had seen many bodies with gunshot wounds to the head in his life. A vision of her with similar injuries haunted him, so vivid and detailed that he closed his eyes in an attempt to escape it. But the moment he did, the image only grew stronger, searing itself into his mind with unbearable clarity.
"He wants you to go inside pretending to be a surgeon. That’s what the unsub is asking for in exchange for the hostages. Your task would be to fake removing a chip from his body, pulling off one of your magic tricks," Gideon explained matter-of-factly, though his expression betrayed a certain doubt about the plan. He suddenly fell silent, hesitation creeping into his voice. "If you can’t do it… this isn’t an order, kid. No one will blame you if you say no."
“We didn’t know it would be such a terrible mistake,” Gideon said quietly.
“Well, that’s the thing about mistakes,” he scoffed bitterly. “You don’t usually realize you’re making them. But you should be able to predict them, especially when someone’s…” His voice broke, and he looked away, his anger momentarily crumbling into something rawer.
Even though he had lashed out at Gideon, the older man didn’t react with anger. Instead, he stared at Spencer with a calm, almost sorrowful expression. When Spencer stood, he felt the weight of Gideon’s hand resting on his numb shoulder.
“I’ll do it,” he declared after a moment.
There was no fear in his voice, no visible sign of stress. Under different circumstances, he’d likely have been unraveling, nerves fraying at the thought of entering the building with the task of saving her. But now…now all he wanted was to stand face-to-face with the man inside. More specifically, next to his neck. With a scalpel in hand.
There was no time to waste. He practiced his sleight of hand trick—making the chip suddenly appear in his palm—a few times. It had been a while since he’d done it, but even so, it came off flawlessly every time. He clenched the small device tightly in his hand and, before he knew it, found himself standing at the foot of the museum steps.
The doors opened, and the first hostages began to emerge. Their reactions followed the same pattern. First came the shock—the struggle to process that they were truly stepping outside again, alive. Then, as they began to accept it, their terrified, hesitant steps turned into a relieved jog, and their eyes brimmed with tears of gratitude.
Spencer stopped, his gaze fixed on the faces of random strangers as they rushed past. Somewhere, deep down, he held onto a foolish, fleeting hope that she might appear in those doors as well. She didn’t, of course.
But if she had… he thought, his chest tightening at the mere idea. If she had, he wasn’t sure he’d ever stop being thankful. Not necessarily to God, but to everything—every twist of fate—that had brought her back.
He had seen the interior of the building on the camera footage and had managed to memorize it. He knew exactly where to head to meet the unsub. The unsub was standing right in the center of the room. Spencer knew there had to be a second shooter somewhere, but he was afraid to look around. If his gaze happened to land on her, not only would his chip trick fail, but he was also certain he’d never be able to shake the image from his mind. It would embed itself in every cell of his brain, one after the other.
He focused all his attention on him, on Erik. He turned to him trustingly, showing the spot on his neck where he believed the chip was located. Everything about his posture radiated the peak of madness. His voice and expression oscillated between hope, desperation, paranoia, and much more that could be listed.
Spencer tried to concentrate on the chip in his hand, not on the scalpel in his other hand. He knew it would be incredibly foolish, but as he was so close to this man's throat, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. He realized that the only thing holding him back was the awareness that the second shooter was likely keeping him in their sights. It was almost certain; he didn’t need to look around to know that. But as soon as the blade touched the man’s skin at the back of his neck, his gaze, against his will, began searching. He looked at the wall where the remaining hostages were gathered, the ones who hadn’t made it into the lucky sixteen. He didn’t find the shooter.
But he found her. If he weren’t wearing his glasses, he might have assumed he’d mistaken her for some other woman. He could only blame his brain and possible hallucinations... but before he could entertain those thoughts, one simple sentence took over his mind.
She was there. Blood dripping from her nose, clothes torn, curled up on the ground among the rest of the hostages, but she was there. She was there, alive.
*
When you stood up for that woman, a brief struggle broke out between you and the unsub. He ordered you to go outside, but the voice in your ear told you to stay inside at all costs. Unsure of what to do, you started mumbling excuses and explanations, leading to an argument... during which he swung his weapon at you, aiming for your face.
As you fell, your weapon—clumsily shoved into your clothing after an argument with Allen—slipped out. And then things escalated rapidly.
Upon learning you were with the FBI, the unsub went into his usual paranoid frenzy. He dropped the microphone he had taken from you, and the heavy kicks of his leather boots landed on your body, on your ribs, on your back. You could barely keep up with protecting yourself, as the blows kept coming faster and faster.
And in that moment, something happened that probably saved your life. But at the same time, it cost another man and his family everything.
Allen sprang at the second attacker, who was almost hypnotized by the injuries being inflicted on you. He seized the moment of distraction, yanking the weapon from his hand and turning it against its owner. You remembered the fleeting look of triumph on his face as he aimed it at Erik. And then, the look of confusion when he was overtaken and the bullets tore through his body.
Somewhere in that moment, your microphone must have been destroyed, leaving you without contact with the team. And without it... you were just like any other hostage. Beaten, forced to stem the blood running from your nose with your blazer. You remembered glancing at it, running your finger over the fabric soaked in crimson, and thinking you'd have to wash it before returning it to Reid. Then, the hopeless realization hit you that maybe you wouldn’t get the chance to do that, and helpless tears filled your eyes for the first time.
It was strange that the unsub decided to spare you. Was it the incoming phone call that distracted him? Or perhaps the death of Allen? Was he the reason for this whole attack? You weren’t sure, maybe both at once. But you managed to return to your spot against the wall, where the other hostages had moved as far away as they could from the two lifeless bodies lying in a pool of blood.
Behind your back, the unsub was arguing with the police, probably Hotch. You weren’t paying attention to their negotiations, instead kneeling beside Allen. Completely staining your clothes, you reached for his hand. His eyes were wide open, his chest... maybe rising slightly, or maybe it was just your perception. In any case, you didn’t grab him to check his pulse, to see if there was anything that could be done to save him. You knew there wasn’t. You took his hand in a gesture of gratitude for everything, filled with sincere and deep compassion, despite everything that had happened between you. Maybe he turned out to be a jerk in that one, crisis situation where it’s normal for people to lose their minds. But what mattered was what kind of man he was in everyday, calm conditions. What kind of friend, fiancé, father he was.
You froze in place, staring at his face, his messy red hair. You snapped back to reality only when you realized the unsub was releasing the hostages. You weren’t part of that group. He didn’t look at you, or Allen, or his dead accomplice, as if you didn’t exist. The people were let out of the building, and then…
You nearly jumped to your feet at the sight of Reid, but the sharp pain in your ribs stopped you. Instead, you stared at him, confused as to why he’d gotten himself into such a messed-up situation alone. No one was with him, and you couldn’t even tell if he was carrying a weapon. Why was he taking such a risk? Couldn’t they have sent someone else?
Although your gaze bored into him, asking without words, he stubbornly avoided looking at you. It took a while, but then it hit you—he’d probably been told to hide the fact that you knew each other. He was pretending to be a surgeon, you realized.
You watched in shock as the unsub dropped his weapon and turned his back to Reid, begging him quietly to remove the chip from his body.
Before Reid touched the scalpel to his neck, he looked straight at you. You couldn’t read the expression on his face, but you knew there was a lot going on. It was a long moment of eye contact, which he broke to get to work. Focused, brow furrowed.
You shook your head in disbelief when he really pulled the tiny device from his body. Wait, so what? It had really been there all along? The unsub wasn’t a paranoid delusional?
At the sight of the chip, Erik staggered with a mix of hysterical joy and relief, and after a moment, he literally collapsed to his knees, burying his face in his hands. His body was shaken by sobs as he muttered his thanks. He was... absolutely harmless. The hostages took advantage of his vulnerability, using the opportunity to silently leave the museum. You found yourself among them, even helping those who, due to shock, struggled to move. How? With your injuries? You had no idea.
You pointed one woman toward the ambulance waiting outside the building, ready to take any injured hostages. Around you, sounds echoed, people were running in all directions. A sense of disconnection and disbelief washed over you, as if you couldn’t quite grasp that it was all over.
You turned around, sensing someone's presence behind you.
The first thing you noticed was that Spencer was still wearing his blue rubber gloves. Strange, but the first thing that came to your mind was to focus on that detail. You even opened your mouth to speak, but stopped when he gently cupped your face in both of his hands. As if you were a fragile relic, he tilted his head slightly from side to side, almost as though he was trying to deny the fact that you were standing before him.
"As if you saw a ghost," you whispered, a faint smile appearing on your face.
Taking advantage of the fact that he was leaning toward you, you pressed your forehead against his. With your eyes still open, you saw his eyelids tremble. When he closed them, you caught sight of that single tear beginning to form beneath them.
*
"Reid," you said, as he and the rest of the team were heading towards the exit. All heads turned in your direction, but you only cared about that one. "Can we talk?"
He opened his mouth, seemingly surprised by the request, but then swallowed and nodded.
"Sure. If... just, sure."
You couldn't help but let out a small laugh. Since your rib injuries were numerous, you had to be taken to the hospital for an X-ray. Your face wasn’t looking too good either. Only a few hours had passed since everything happened, and all your wounds were fresh and painful. After taking a decent amount of painkillers, you felt a bit like you were floating. You were sitting on the hospital bed, your legs resting on the floor as if on a bench. You made space beside you, and although he hesitated for a moment, he sat right next to you, so close your shoulders almost touched.
What you wanted to say, everything you felt, was hard to put into words. So you spent a few minutes in silence, during which you concluded that the simpler, the better.
"Thank you, Reid."
His dark eyes narrowed slightly, and he shook his head dismissively.
"Thank you? For what? I should be thanking you."
You knew this would happen. That he would downplay what he did, and it would be incredibly hard for you to express all the gratitude you felt towards him.
"For what? For everything," you stated briefly. He was preparing a response, but you beat him to it. You even raised a finger decisively, signaling for a moment of silence. You had a lot to say. "Not just for pretending to be a surgeon and getting into that museum. And don't shrug it off like it was a small thing! You saved those people."
"Maybe a little, but…"
"But that's not all. You were… you were with me the whole time. You kept talking to me the entire time…"
"Just like everyone else…"
"Everyone else gave me orders. Told me what to do to survive and what not to do. And of course, I'm incredibly grateful to them—if it weren't for them, I would have probably pissed off that unsub after less than fifteen minutes and we'd all be dead by now."
Reid flinched when you said that. Maybe you should hold off on such words, while the whole situation was still so fresh.
"You... you kept asking how I was feeling, talking to me, just... your voice, the fact that I had you on the other end, it helped me not panic. When, at the very beginning, you asked me to breathe with you..."
You shook your head, holding back the involuntary recollection of that moment, that memory when you were still trapped in that building with two armed men. Helpless and lost, clutching his jacket with all your strength. 
You realized with growing difficulty that you were holding back tears.
Reid had been listening to you quietly the whole time, but suddenly, he lowered his gaze. His hand found yours, hesitated for a moment, then gently grasped it. You immediately squeezed it tightly. Something came to your mind.
"And what did you want to thank me for?" you asked, referring to when he interrupted you the first time.
"It's not... I don't have as much to say as you do," he confessed, circling the topic more than addressing it directly. He still hadn't let go of your hand, and as he thought, his thumb seemed to absentmindedly stroke its surface.
"Wow," you murmured. "I never expected Spencer Reid to say something like that in my presence, but here we are. So?"
He smiled for a moment at your comment. However, that expression quickly gave way to a more serious one, carrying with it the unburied remnants of the horror you had both endured just a few hours ago.
"Just for you being alive," he said. Your brows furrowed slightly when you heard that. It wasn't what you expected. "For a while... when you were still inside, and your mic was destroyed..." With a sigh, he tilted his head back, holding back from returning to that moment. It couldn't have been easy for him, referring to exactly the moment that caused him pain. "We heard a gunshot. Everyone thought it was you.  That's why... that's why I just wanted to thank you for that."
Given that you had absolutely no control over it, those were the strangest thanks anyone had ever given you. But still, they squeezed your heart like no others ever had.
You leaned in to place a kiss on his cheek.
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ynnova · 4 months ago
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( TWO SWANS IN LOVE. ) san x ninth member!f!reader ✶ poly!ateez
──── you and san go to the elle style awards together.
2024 ୨୧ word count : 2.2k ୨୧ warnings : san makes an innuendo ୨୧ mdni
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"i'm nervous," san says from next to you. the two of you were on the way to the elle awards that you were both invited to. you turned to look at your boyfriend with a concerned look and you could immediately see how nervous he was.
"why, baby?" you put a hand on his thigh as you turn to face him more. you still had a ten minute car ride to the event, ten minutes to talk.
"because," he sighs out, hand coming to rest on top of yours, "this is our first official schedule together alone," he finishes, eyes coming up to meet your own.
"oh, sannie," you say, linking your fingers with his. you rest your head on his shoulder, mindful not to mess your hair, makeup, or san's coat up.
"plus," he starts, "you look too pretty. everyone is going to be looking at you, and i'm gonna have to fight them off."
"gosh," you say, lightly smacking his chest.
"but apart from that, i'm nervous because i want to do well for atiny, you and the others, my family. make everyone proud," he confesses and you feel your heart soften at how sincere san is. it just gives you another reminder about how large san's heart is.
"you've got such a pure heart, sannie," you say lifting your head up to look at your boyfriend who turns his head to look at you. you lean over to kiss his lips in a quick peck. when san tries to lean in for another one, you press your forefinger against his lips and you can't help but giggle at the pout that graces his lips.
"that was just for good luck," you say with a sly smile, "we can kiss more afterwards."
"what if i want to do more than kiss later?" he asks, whispering into your ear so your manager driving doesn't hear.
"i guess i can think about it," you whisper back, trying to hold back a giggle.
"hey, why did you two suddenly get quiet?" your manager asks from the driver seat. the two of you make eye contact from the rearview mirror and you can't help but laugh.
when the two of you arrived at the event, san got out of the car first before holding his hand out for you to take. you could already hear the crowd of people screaming and cameras clicking repeatedly as they took pictures of whoever was on the carpet now. you took san's hand and allowed him to help you out of the car.
"are you ready?" san asked, looking at you and holding his arm out, waiting for you to take it.
"yeah," you say, smiling at him and taking his arm before walking down the red carpet. the staff explained to you both that they wanted both individual pictures and couple pictures. you told san to go first and he nodded, squeezing your hand as he walked up to the marker and posed. the cameras flashing and you couldn't help but smile as you watched him.
then san looked over at you, making eye contact before he gestured for you to join him. you straightened your shoulders out a little before you walked over to him, smiling and waving to the cameras and fans as you did. you linked your arm with san's as you both smiled and posed for the cameras.
it felt odd only being here with just san, so used to being surrounded by him plus your other boyfriends. it still felt unreal to have been invited together to this event and getting to actually be together during this.
"should we make a heart?" san asks, looking over to you and you nod before holding one half of a heart up and san easily holding up the other. the two of you posed for a few more seconds before you heard san say, "i'll meet you at the end of the carpet okay?"
"okay," you say, feeling him leave your side as you naturally felt yourself pose for the cameras. you remember when you had first been exposed to the flashing cameras, still a young trainee at sm and had always been intimidated by the cameras. it took you a few years before you really got use to them, but every so often you would find yourself still getting blinded by them.
after a few more poses, you waved to everyone before walking off the carpet so the next person can take pictures. and like he said, san was waiting – smile on his face as he wrapped an arm around your waist and guided the two of you inside the building.
"they sat us at the same table," you said when you noticed the two of you had your name cards right next to each other.
"good, i would have been sad if i couldn't be with you through this," san said as you took his hand. you all still had a little time before the awards began, so the two of you spent this time to talk to the other celebrities that had been invited to the event.
all of them complimenting you and san, saying that you both looked great together among other things. it made your heart skip a beat whenever someone would say how the two of you looked perfect together.
"you two lovebirds are definitely the next it couple," one actress had said to you and you couldn't help but thank her. "how long have you two been dating now?"
"this is our fourth year together, so since 2020," you told her, in actuality you and san have been dating since 2019, but kq opted to tell the public since 2020.
"y/nnie," san call your name, coming up to you and the actress and resting his hand on your lower back. "we should go ahead and head to our seats now," he tells you and you nod before you both bid the actress goodbye. "they put some champagne out for the guest," he adds as he pulls your seat out for you to sit down.
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"and the winner is... san of ateez!"
you couldn't help the smile that overtook your face when you heard your boyfriend's name get called. you clap along with everyone else as san stood up from his seat, bowing a few times before he makes his way up to the stage and accepting the award.
you felt your heart beat wildly as you watched san give his speech, almost tearing up a little bit when he chokes up a little bit when he mentions his grandfather. he wraps his speech up, thanking atiny before he's walking off stage.
when san returns to his seat, you immediately reach over and take his hand into yours. the two of you smile at each other before you mouth the words 'i love you' to him and he is quick to mouth it back.
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"we will now be awarding 'artist of the year'," the first host said in their microphone.
the other host then spoke, "and the winner is... y/n of ateez!"
what? did they just call your name?
you stood up from your chair in order to make your way up on stage. you couldn't look anywhere but forward, nervous that you were going to trip and make a fool of yourself. thankfully you didn't, and you stood on stage accepting the award and flowers from the two hosts. you thanked them as they moved in order to let you speak.
"thank you to elle for awarding me this, i'm very honored. thank you to my members who i cherish the most along with our lovely atiny. i would also like to say thank you to kq and the staff who have all put their faith in me and allowed me to become a part of their company. my parents as well, thank you for supporting and loving me, i hope that i can continue to make you proud no matter what. atiny, thank you for allowing me to show you the many sides of myself and express all those sides, and i hope to continue to show even more sides of myself next year as well. thank you."
you bowed to the crowd before you walked off stage, event staff and your manager meeting you backstage and guiding you to your dressing room. once you got to your dressing room, you couldn't help but let out a few tears as you hugged your manager.
"gosh, don't cry, you deserved this award," she said as she rubbed your back soothingly. the other staff in the room quickly joined in on the hug as they all congratulated you. your make-up stylist fixed your make-up before you thanked them all and made your way back to your seat.
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when your manager dropped you and san off at the dorms, you bid her goodbye before closing the car door. san was quick to tug on your hand, pulling you into the building and to the elevator. wrapping his arms around your waist, you smiled as draped your own arms around his neck as he leaned down to kiss you.
"you're going to spend the night with me tonight right?" he asks and you nod, playing with his hair as he kisses you again. "i'm so proud of you, baby," he says against your lips.
"i was going to say that," you pout a little bit making san laugh as you both get off the elevator once its on your floor.
"you still can, baby, i like it when you praise me," he whispers against your ear as he opens the door for you. the two of you laughed as you walked into the dorm. you just barely made it into the living room before your other boyfriends jumped out in surprise.
"congrats on your awards tonight!" wooyoung and yeosang say as yunho and mingi pull out some poppers and letting them go which makes streams of color fly through the air a little bit. jongho is holding a small cake as the two eldest members make their way over to you and san.
hongjoong comes over to you first, hugging you tightly. which you are quick to return, burying your face into his neck.
"i'm so proud of you, doll, more than you know," he says, kissing the crown of your head before also planting other kisses on your cheeks, nose, and final lips. you assume seonghwa does something similar to san before hongjoong and him and trading places.
seonghwa cups your face, looking at you with his usually sparkling eyes before he's pulling you into a hug. you hold onto his sweater probably a little too tightly, but you don't care at the moment.
"did i do a good job tonight, oppa?" you ask, voice soft and you find yourself slowly getting tired.
"of course, my angel, i'll never not be proud of you," he says and it makes your heart swell a little at his words. "you looked so beautiful as well, my little white swan."
"white swan?" you say, looking at him with a curious look. "where did that come from?"
"you haven't seen?" wooyoung chimes in, moving closer to where you are. "atiny have been calling you and sannie the 'black and white swan couple' because of your outfits," he explains, holding his phone up to show you tweets of some fans reacting to the award show.
"it's trending too!" mingi says as you all move to sit down in the living room. san pulling you into his lap as mingi shows you and him the trending hashtags.
#ATEEZBLACKANDWHITESWANCOUPLE #SANANDYN #SWANITCOUPLE
"wow," you say as you also notice pictures of you and san posing together on the red carpet.
"everyone has been talking about the two of you. atiny are going crazy," jongho says as he cuts into the small cake and hands you a piece.
"as they should," wooyoung says with a smile, "the two of them looked hot, no wonder atiny are jealous of you both!"
you spent the rest of the night, cuddled up to san and surrounded by your other boyfriends, eating cake and talking. you all would have the next few days off from schedules and would be taking the time to go see family and whatnot. you even planning to see jiwon-unnie and the other girls, so you were glad to spend this time now with your lovers.
you felt san press his lips right below your ear before he slowly trails them down your neck. "what are you doing sannie?" you ask him, linking your hands with his that rest around your waist.
"nothing, i just want to love my girlfriend right now," he says, making you laugh. you could tell that he was ready to go to bed soon, and honestly, you were right there with him.
"do you want to go to bed?" you ask, moving to look at his face. his tired eyes meeting yours and he nods as you brush some hair out of his face.
"okay, let's go to bed then," you say, standing up and telling your other boyfriends goodnight, giving them all a kiss. san does the same before following you down the hallway and into his bedroom.
eventually, the two of you are laying in his bed, facing each other and covers pulled up to your necks. san as you wrapped up in his arms, holding you close to him.
"goodnight, my love," you tell him and he smiles at you.
"goodnight, baby," he says before you both fall asleep.
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note: sorry this was a little late after the awards! some life stuff happened and i was just now able to finish it. thanks for reading and don't forget to let me know what you think!
178 notes · View notes
chiiyuuvv · 1 year ago
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• PAIRING — bestfriend!xikers x gn reader (i think)
• GENRE — "imagine if we were dating" prompt, shy, fluff, angst in minjaes, screaming at hunters, yeah
• WORD COUNT — 880
• AUTHOR'S NOTE — i got this idea when i was reading some skz texts. Basically, you were saying "what if we were dating" but you already dating- wait lemme just
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• TAGLIST — @lil-elle @hyunukitty
MASTERLIST! – JOIN THE TAGLIST!
MINJAE ☆
Doesnt find your joke funny
Theres a very clear line of best friends and lovers and besides, theres no possible way you could like him back
Zoning out a lot, trying to understand his feelings more when he just blurts out what was on his mind. Because you guys are close, he could tell you anything, right?
“No, no its fine. I know you obviously dont like me and it’s okay, i just wanted to get it off my chest. Im sorry i made you uncomfortable.”
He was already on the verge of tears, but when you tell him you love him, more than just friends, he just bursts out crying ♡
JUNMIN ☆
Just goes along with it
Holds your hand, puts his arm around your shoulder. Refuses to call you by your name but babe
Likes that your getting flustered because hes screaming on the inside
Gets so into his role that he leans into you, your noses touching and hes about to kiss you. Until wait a minute and just pulls back with a sheepish smile
Daydreams for the rest of the day about the almost kiss. And when he drops you to your house, he finally does it ♡
SUMIN
Freezes; were you reading his thoughts? Were you able to somehow see his dreams? H-how did you know??
He tries to play it cool even though his face is burning red. "Y-yeah.. that'll be crazy right?! Haha.." he clears his throat
But to his dismay, you already knew about the massive crush he had on you, as he was very obvious
So you use that to your advantage, scooting extra close to him, your hands shadowing over his small ones
"I like you too, stupid." You would laugh, placing a soft kiss on his cheek as his face gets even redder ♡
JINSIK ☆
"Yeah, imagine if we were dating." He would take it as a joke, lying down and fantasizing about your lifes as a couple
"I would take you to this hot air balloon festival, since i know you've always wanted to go."
Has this smile on his face until he stops; were you actually serious?
You had to be joking, there was no way this was directed to him, right?
Almost stops breathing and his mouth is dropped open when you kiss his cheek. "I like you, jinsik." ♡
HYUNWOO ☆
Your question honestly made him sad
Because wdym “what if you were dating?” no, he didnt want to pretend. He wanted to live his dreams, he wanted to be with you
So he gets a little quiet, looking down as hes lost in his thoughts, a little teary eyed
Snaps out of it when you call his name, and would say he’s okay even though you know he’s lying
So with all courage, you confess to him. And when you’re done, he’d pour his heart out to you ♡
JUNGHOON ☆
He’s completely taken aback, the silence making you feel a little uneasy
“B-but i mean.” wouldnt even let you talk without pressing his lips against yours, his face completely red but he doesnt care
Would kiss you again if you tried to talk, getting to the point where hes just peppering your face with kisses
Would have the whole rant about how much he loves you
Then it would be your turn to cut him off with a kiss ♡
SEEUN ☆
Also freezes; the first time hes speechless
Theres a long awkward silence, your faces red and seeun twiddling with his thumbs
"I mean I- well we- or m-maybe-" struggles to find words
"We can definitely start it slow.. i-i mean, it you wanna, i can understand if you dont b-but you decide haha!!!"
After you agree that you wanna take it slow, he would have this shy smile on his face, holding both of your hands, looking down the entire time ♡
YUJUN ☆
Would have the cutest smile on his face
“Dating??” the giggles he would let out, gosh
Like jinsik, he would fantasize about how everything would go, his ears red
But that turns into convincing you to go on a date with him. He’d treat you so well, buying anything you want
“I mean.. I wouldnt mind. I already love you and i know you do too, so why not we just make it offical?” ♡
HUNTER ☆
"If we were dating?" He would stop as you were walking through the park
Has this cheeky smile on his face. "I think i would do this."
Grabs both of your hands with a warm smile, checking to see if you were comfortable before tucking some hair behind your ears, his eyes filled with love
"You're so pretty." He would mumble as he picks a flower out of a bush next to you
Lifts up your chin and slowly connects your lips, moving in a slow but meaningful pace ♡
YECHAN ☆
The boy would not stop giggling
"I-if we were dating?" He would burst out laughing, making you think he's making fun of the question
Would stop laughing when he notices your frown
"I-I mean.. if we were dating, it would be so nice and we would wake up together and text pick-up lines and-" his face was bright pink as he was rambling
Stops when he notices, "i-i'd think i like it.." ♡
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yuyusuyu · 2 years ago
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OH MY GOSH
Rielleeeeee, congrats on your milestone darling, im so so proud of you!! I would like to request some fluff with Wooyoung, based off taylor swift's how you get the girl 🤍 Take your time and congrats once again, your event is cute like you 🤍
✨️part of my 300 milestone event 🪄
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title: broke your heart, i'll put it back together (song: how you get the girl by taylor swift)
pairing: jung wooyoung x fem!reader
genre: exes to lovers, fluff, angst if you squint
warning/s: none
wc: 1.2k
a/n: oh sweet chip!! 🥺 stfu she called me cute im blushing i got a lil carried away with this hence the wc but likeee i hope i somehow put enough fluff here for u to enjoy?? hehe tysm again bby! ♡
* reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated!
Wooyoung was soaking wet.
However, he doesn't mind in the very least. Not even when the fabric of his dress shirt and slacks uncomfortably clings to his body, the wetness of it all spreading goosebumps in his skin as the nightly air blows past him.
See he's not planning on giving up. Not until you open the door and hear him out. Standing outside your doorstep while the rain is pouring doesn't really faze him that much.
Truth be told, Wooyoung's supposed to be aboard the plane right now—completely missing his flight which was just a couple minutes ago. While some may have panicked, he's all but that. Although, he is a tad bit nervous.
Not because he knows his parents will be bombarding him with phone calls and text messages once they know that he's not on a plane returning to gloomy London tomorrow morning—the hell with London and his furious parents. Rather, it's mainly because of you, and you're the only one Wooyoung cares about right now, frankly.
You—who he didn't even get a glimpse of for half a year. Which he thinks he really deserves after deciding to leave you out of the blue. Well, not really out of the blue since he had his reasons, and yeah, well…that's another story for later.
The thing is, tonight wasn't really planned in the slightest. In fact, Wooyoung, coming to your college reunion was a spontaneous decision made by him after Kang Yeosang—one of your friends—accidentally let the fact, that you'll be attending said reunion, slip out from his blabbering mouth.
That random information which luckily fell in Wooyoung's grasp spurred him to grab any clothing his eyes could land on and come rushing in his car to attend tonight's reunion which he so adamantly refused to go to.
And Wooyoung is glad that he did go. Because, as soon as he steps inside the nostalgic campus grounds and through the long hallway leading towards the gymnasium, he sees you.
You who looked stunning dressed in that white dress he had gifted you way back then, just barely a year in your relationship. Wooyoung bought that dress with the thought of putting a ring on your finger someday.
And he is hoping that despite all that's been said and done between you two, that 'someday' will still be just right around the corner.
If only you'd just open up and hear his words tonight, then it possibly would.
The heavens above might just be hearing his pleas, or he just looks too pathetic already that they can't stand a second longer of seeing him standing under the rain—if he's really unlucky, they might even send down a lightning bolt or something.
Wooyoung squints his eyes when he sees the beige curtains on your window move slightly. He wasn't sure at first if he was just seeing things, but then he catches sight of how one of your dangly earrings subtly produced a needle-like flash due to the LED lights on your porch.
His heart does a little leap at the fact of you peeking at him and the possibility of you opening the door.
But that moment of subtle joy fades when you open the door and then it reveals you—you with puffy eyes and a red nose. His heart almost breaks at the sight of you just hesitatingly opening the door even wider.
"You're insane." Were your first words to him that night.
"It's just a little rain," He replies, offering the smallest of smiles, not really sure how to react now that you're finally facing each other.
You sniffle and shake your head, for a second, you look down at your fiddling hands, and then you're looking back at him, gaze sharp, "Why are you here, Wooyoung?"
"I- well, I—"
"Why am I even talking to you?" You sigh, already moving to close the door but of course he puts a foot in, preventing the door from shutting on his face, and preventing you from shutting him away from your life furthermore.
"I'm really not supposed to be here right now, but here I am," Wooyoung spits out in a rush. "Please, just…hear me out?" He asks, his voice sounding out to be a lot smaller.
"Woo-" You stop yourself, sighing, "Come on in, let's get you dry first."
You were too nice, too nice even to someone who broke your heart, Wooyoung thinks. But that's why he's here, hell-bent on fixing things with you and proving to you that he won't do that same mistake of leaving you ever again.
"You're wearing the dress. I thought…you threw it already," Wooyoung speaks up by the time you come back to him with a towel and some spare clothes. His old clothes, he takes note.
"Y-Yeah, I thought it'd be suitable for the theme of the reunion." You shrug, handing him the towel while you hang the clean clothes on the sofa's arm. And then he hears you clear your throat.
"I know you're still drying yourself up, but…why are you here, Woo?"
"Funny you should ask me that because I should be in a plane back to London right now but-"
"You missed your flight?!" You cut off his ramblings with a shout.
"Willingly, Y/N. I missed my flight willingly and I'm very pleased with it." Wooyoung smirks.
"What would your-"
"And that is why you should hear me out tonight or my sacrifice would literally mean nothing," Wooyoung replies with a pout, and then he spreads the towel on half of the sofa, sits down, and then pats the empty space, that was also wet towel-free, beside him.
Wooyoung goes on about his mistakes, his reasons, and countless of apologies while you fiddled with the hem of your dress for most of it.
"I mean, i-it's only been six months, Woo. The memory is still fresh and…" You don't get to finish what you were saying as the tears finally escape you. Wooyoung immediately cups your face in his hands and wipes the tears that keep coming, his touch, ever so gentle.
"I would wait forever and ever. Because I want you for worse or for better, and everything in between, Y/N." He whispers, already in tears as well, and when your previously quivering lips break into a smile, he does the same.
But then, Wooyoung's phone resounds with a ding, which got both of your attention. You were the first one to look away and stare at the phone on the table, an audible gasp leaving your mouth when you saw the picture that served as his lockscreen.
"You never changed it…" You point out, looking back at him and seeing Wooyoung's lips break into an even wider grin.
A picture taken during the 26th of November, Wooyoung's birthday. A picture of him kissing you on the cheek while you're wearing your brightest smile. A picture he randomly self-captured with his phone as soon as his lips met the softness of your cheek—your giggles filling the entire apartment.
It was the same day that he gave you that dress, and the very day that you finally said yes to him being your boyfriend. The day you officially became his other half, and he, yours.
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seattlesellie · 2 years ago
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orgasm denial with ellie :(( oh gosh (18+)
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she’d go nuts for your desperate little “pleasepleaseplease” and demand you add a “please ellie, i know you can do it” all smug with your chin between her flingers, then smush your cheeks together, one side squished by her thumb and the other side by the rest of her fingers.
every time you’d try and grip her forearm she would shoo your hands away, grip them together firmly above your head, her knuckles going white with force as she gazes intensely into your eyes and tells you “keep moving those hands one more time— one more fucking time” and you know she’s angry because she doesn’t surrender herself to the pucker of your lips, a pathetic attempt of signaling her to kiss you, she doesn’t even give in when a fat tear streams down your cheek, because she’d been going at it for more than an hour.
starting with teasing you over your panties until they were messed up and fully sheer, a sweet, delicate string of your slick right between her fingers; “look at that pretty mess you made f’me”, to only rubbing her silicone strap on your clit, never pushing it in, teasing your tight entrance but not fully giving it to you, just because she likes hearing you whine “please put it in me ell—ie” and your broken sob when she tells you; “nuh—uh, not now” and its been “not now” for too fucking long, teasing your clit with her fingers merely hovering on it, not even pushing them in, zero pressure — just faint little touches. she knows how sensitive you are, and how sensitive you get when she keeps edging you on and on, so every time she sees your eyes close shut and your eyebrows squint together, she forces you to look at her; “fucking look at me, focus” & forces you to look down on her hand palming your cunt and slapping it, and obscene, wet, stinging sounds fill the room — because if you even dare to cum without her permission, dare and try to bring her hand closer she swears shes going to keep you here for three hours more.
and it’s only when you’re buried deep with your scorching hot face inside her own cunt that she lets you touch yourself properly, just for a bit— merely because she needs to hear your little moans. when you sob a broken “cant not cum, please— i cant do it” into her pussy, she gives in finally, grabs your shoulders and pushes you on the bed, places her cunt on top of yours and starts grinding, you’re only allowed to cum if she does, and you’re ever so lucky.
“been such a good fucking girl for me” and it’s delirious, truly, because you haven’t been good, you’ve been bratty and dishonest, always lying and saying you weren’t close, but when she’s right on the edge— right about to erupt, mixing her slick with yours, you are her good girl, always.
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minispidey · 1 year ago
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01: Barbie and the Giftshopist.
Steven Grant x f!bimbo!reader. series masterlist. next part.
01. This Barbie is his new neighbor!
warnings: uses y/n once, get ready for kinda cringey bimbor!reader. over-use of the word like. extremely feminine reader. reference to elle woods. NOT BETA READ.
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"Yeah, but like, I totes believe her. I mean she's totes being framed. I wanna help her." as Steven got off of the lift, he sees multiple boxes out in the hallway and hears a woman's voice talking to someone.
You walk out of the flat in front of his to push in the rest of your things. You were wearing something someone moving in shouldn't be wearing: a pink lace top, flared pink pants and cute high heels. You had a purse and everything.
"I need an alibi from her. Like, she can't just like go to jail for something she didn't do. That's a crime itself." you held your phone in between your shoulder and ear "I'm totally bugging. Where's a good manipedi here?"
"Uh, I think there's a salon across from the baker around the corner?" Steven spoke up from behind you.
You turn to face him, blinking twice "I'll call you back. I'll see you at the office." you end your call and smiled at him "Thanks so much. My nails have suffered too much this past week. Oh, we're neighbors!"
"It seems like we are."
"I'm Y/N. It's so nice to meet you." you two shake hands "I'm like, really struggling with these boxes. And I know I'd be like super desperate, but I am, but can you help me, please?" you smiled brightly, even batting your long eyelashes.
"Oh, uh, yes, absolutely." he said, taking a couple of the boxes from the hallway.
You kept kicking some of the boxes in with your pink high heels, clearly impatient and trying to push them all in. Steven halts your actions by picking them up and setting them down inside.
"You gotta uh, carry the boxes inside. They get stuck when you just push them." entering your flat, he placed more boxes down. He could see your walls were already painted a different color: pink. Steven was surprised to see such a bold choice of color, but he could already tell by your outfit what kind of woman you were.
A woman with great fashion-sense.
You were beautiful. Something about you was just so alluring, so hypnotic. He couldn't even believe a beautiful woman like you was talking to him, let alone letting him enter your flat. But he did notice you were a bit of a ditz.
"Do you need any help with anything else?" Steven asked, turning around as he spoke. His ears were slightly red because of the way you looked at him.
"That's all. Thanks so much." you smiled "I just moved here, and like, still adjusting."
"It's not a problem at all. If you need anything, don't be shy. I'm just in front."
"That's so nice of you! Totes, I'd definitely need some help. Oh shoot, I never got your name."
"It's fine. I-It's Steven."
"It's so nice to meet you, Steven."
His eyes shifted to the racks filled with clothes. Pink, to be exact. You were extremely feminine. He spots furs and his brows furrow a bit "Er... uh..."
"They're faux fur. Can't tell the difference anymore." you giggled, wheeling them to a corner with the rest of your clothes.
"Oh. Well, they're very nice." Steven smiled "Are you a model?"
"Gosh, that's such a compliment. No one's ever said that before. But no, just love clothes. How about you? Wait wait! Let me guess..."
Steven found it adorable as you squint your eyes, thinking of what his job is.
"Are you like... a sculptor? No, a painter! Am I close?"
"I work at a gift-shop, actually. A giftshopist." he smiled.
"No way. You have really pretty hands, you could be like a hand model. Or like I said, a painter."
Steven blushed like a mad man "Thank you. No one's ever complimented my hands."
"You're pretty handsome, you know? It's like... gosh you have a nice nose too." the way you complimented him was as if he was a sculpture.
Steven's heart almost stopped when you casually mentioned how handsome he was. You were incredibly blunt about it for someone he had just met.
"Thank you." he said, his cheeks turning a shade of pink. Something about you saying it that make his body feel all warm. It's such a strange and unusual feeling for him.
"No, but like seriously. You are so handsome. It's like driving me a bit cray, you get it, right? Gosh, I sound like a total creep."
Hearing the same thing two times in a row sent him into quite a little flutter. He had never been one to be flirted with and the combination of how direct you were, plus how much you were repeating yourself certainly made him feel something.
"No, it's fine. No, you don't sound like creep, it's totally fine." he looks back up at you "I'm just... I'm not used to... it."
"Used to what? Being called handsome?"
"Yeah." Steven chuckled, the sound escaping his mouth in such a high pitched and nervous way that it sounded almost like a squeak "And uh, being flirted with..."
Your phone suddenly rings, making you two jump up. You take your phone out, looking at the caller ID "So sorry. I gotta take this."
"Oh, no worries." he clears his throat, taking the opportunity to collect his thoughts and calm his racing heart and mind.
"I, uh, I should go now." he says "I'll see you around, luv."
"I'll see you around, Steven." you gave him a smile before answering your phone, pacing back and fourth across your flat.
As Steven enters his flat, his heart calms down but his cheeks were still red. His eyes shifted towards a mirror, a clearly judging Marc staring right back at him.
"So. You like her?"
"Oh come on, Marc. I just met her."
That evening, Steven heard a knock outside his door. His ears were perked up as he approached the door, opening it to find you in your cute animal print night dress and holding a casserole dish "Okay, so like, I got called in to the office earlier and I never got to properly thank you."
"It's not big deal, luv." he blushed "They're just boxes."
"And really heavy ones. You are like, super strong. Plus I finally got my manipedi." you giggled "I made lasagna in the office but I got leftovers, do you wanna split?"
"Uh... actually I'm vegan."
"Oh gosh, I'm like so sorry. That explains the fur thing!"
"Yeah." he nods "It's alright, luv. I don't wear a big ol sign saying I'm vegan."
"Well... I was just hoping we could hangout because you seem like a really nice guy. I mostly bond with food."
"It's alright, uh..." Steven looks behind him, looking if his place was presentable "If you want, you can eat it here while we chat? Maybe a cup of tea? I've stepped inside your flat, might as well welcome you into mine."
"Really? That's so nice of you! I swear, when I get my stove and oven I'll make you something vegan."
"You really don't have to. I assure you, it's alright."
"Don't worry! I can cook."
Ever since that day, Steven is ecstatic to wake up everyday and greet you in the morning as you both went off to work.
Your clothes were always consistent with the pinks and whites, but you always looked professional as you head off to work.
Steven began to guess what your profession was. You said you weren't a model, perhaps a designer? A professor?
He snapped out of his thoughts when you placed a plate of fried tofu with some sauce over it and spring onions.
"Stevie, do you know where I could like, donate books? Mine are sooo expensive but someone might want to use them." you asked as you cleaned up your countertop.
"Yeah, why?"
"Okay so like, Jean, he's like a newbie, he totally bugged me. Brags that he loves to donate his stuff. He once donated a canoe. He says like he was a hoarder back then. I thought to myself, am I hoarding?" you spin, facing Steven "I totally am! I have books I won't need anymore and I don't have bookshelves anyways."
"I have spots in my bookcase. Maybe I could take them off your hands?" Steven looks up at you with a smile "I don't mind. They have sentimental value?"
"Very. Plus, they were soooo expensive I swear. I could've bought like fifteen more pairs of heels if I hadn't bought them. Or maybe just a pair of Choos."
"What kind of books are they exactly?"
"Law."
"Law?"
"Law." you clear your throat, lifting your arm and bending your wrist in a dramatic way "I'm a lawyer, obvi."
Steven was slightly taken aback by the news. He certainly wouldn't have guessed that right "You're a-a lawyer? Oh, wow, that's super impressive. Wait, how are you dressed the way you are if you're a lawyer? Don't they make you wear suits and stuff?"
"Duhh, I wear pink ones! You see me wear them to work every morning." you smiled "I have a lot."
Steven's truly never met a woman like you.
"You're incredible..."
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flaminghotjareau · 10 days ago
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rewatching s1 and gosh i love this season so much but mostly i love elle so much and i love how she interacts with women victims
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mee3pp · 3 months ago
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Farmhouse pt 8 
Cw: nothing major, swearing, talk of sex
“Bloody ell’ come on Johnny man up” Johnny mumbles to himself as he paces back and forwards in his room on base phone clenched tightly in hand with your contact open. His full intention is to ask you out on a lunch date and usually this would be no problem. He's a master when it comes to women. Come on, it's Johnny MacTavish. We are talking about the cocky, flirty and confident man but when it comes to you all that disappears. Does he know why? No, maybe it's because you are a carbon copy of your father. His captain? Maybe it's because you haven’t been tainted by the burdens of war? “Soap th’ worst she could say is no” Gaz sighs looking up from his phone as he sits on the edge of Soaps bed. “Yeah Yeah i know tha’” Soap rolls his eyes. 
12:20pm, 1/5/24 Saturday
Hey Lass how are ya? I was wondering
“Why th’ fuck is this so hard?” Soap groans. 
12:25pm, 1/5/24 Saturday
Hey Lass how are ya? Would you want to go out on a lunch date tomorrow? 12pm at the cafe down the street from the pub?
12:35pm 
[Read]
“I sent it” Soap groans as he slaps his phone on Gaz's lap who lets out an unhappy grunt. Gaz chuckles loudly at Soap as he is pacing the room like a headless chicken. “Calm ya fuckin’ farm Soap” Gaz manages through laughter after all his mate is acting hilarious. Soap practically launches himself at Gaz when he hears his phone ping in the specific ringtone he set for you. 
12:45pm 
Hey Johnny! I’d love to go on a date with you tomorrow…as long as my dad doesn’t find out. we will have to be sneaky eh?;) <3
Fuck. Poor Johnny nearly has a heart attack when he reads your message. Being sneaky is his specialty, he looks over at Gaz with a stupid grin who only mutters a bored “Caps gonna cut your dick off”. Johnny couldn’t give less of a shit though. 
Holy shit. He’s actually asked you out on a date? You can’t believe it, your first reaction is to call up Simon because you need him to do a favour. “Simon, are ya free tomorrow from 12pm till like 1:30?” You blurt out as soon as he picks up. “Okay first up, hold ya horses. What’s goin’ on?” Simon chuckles through the phone even though he knows exactly what's happening. “M’ goin’ out on a date with Johnny tomorrow, need ya to keep dad busy” You ramble out your rougher Cockney accent ringing through the phone making you harder to understand. “How th’ fuck do ya want me to do that?” Simon huffs. “I dunno mate, you’re his friend” You hiss trying to keep quiet from your room. “Do it and i’ll buy you a bottle of ya favourite bourbon” Your bribe earns a defeated sigh from Simon signalling he’ll help you. “Thanks i need ya to get him out of th’ house before 12” You hum before hanging up. 
“Oh my gosh! May!” You squeal through the phone as you pace your room. “What?!” Maybel giggles. “Johnny asked me out to lunch tomorrow” You giggle flopping on your bed landing on your back. Maybel gasps and giggles. “I Know!! Simon just told me "I'm so happy for you” she giggles and you scoff. “Tha’ blonde fuck” You groan although you aren’t angry one bit. “Does your dad know?” May asks the inevitable. “Nah, that's ya boyfriend's job to distract him” You sigh, running a hand over your face before looking at the time. “I’ll update ya tomorrow i gotta go feed and round th’ sheep up” You groan before hanging up. 
“Dad! I’m gonna go feed th’ sheep if ya wanna come” You announce walking into the kitchen and to your surprise a woman is sitting next to your father drinking tea. You stop dead in your tracks. “Hello, Kate Laswell” The woman smiles as she nods at you. She’s definitely older, her face hardened by the years of her life and no doubt the burdens of her job. “Ah sorry sweets should’ve let ya know we had a guest, this is my friend” Your father smiles apologetically. “S’ alright Dad, i’ll go deal with’ th’ sheep” You nod before walking hastily outside towards the tractor. Before you know it an hour has passed, you got distracted by moving hay and slashing a small field. The air is filled with your groans as you jump down from the tractor, your back and legs aching from being crammed in the tractor. You are by no means a small woman standing at just under 6’0 and you’ve got plenty of muscle from wrangling sheep, moving hay and the occasional trip to the gym. You’ve always been told that you have a ‘manly build’ or that you don’t have a ‘girly enough body’ and no man will ever want you. Well that was before you grew an excellent pair of tits and a pretty good ass if you did say so yourself. You've never been insecure of your looks or height. It's just something you’ve never paid attention to because you’ve always been able to get practically any man you want, you had plenty of boyfriends in high school and out of school, even a few girlfriends. 
As you stretch you hear a low wolf whistle coming from behind you and you whip around to see Gaz with a cheeky grin and you roll your eyes with a smile. “What are ya doin’ ere?” You giggle as you approach him. “My bird is on a girls trip and as ya know i’m starting a small hobby farm” He starts to say rubbing the back of his neck “i was wonderin’ if ya could give me a few pointers on lambs?”. You chuckle at him, looking a little upwards as he’s a few inches taller than you all the boys are. “I suppose i can do tha’ for ya” You shrug as you lead him to the sheep. 
It’s a few hours later and you’ve overloaded poor Gaz’s brain with information about sheep he has now left and you’ve decided to have a classic ‘everything shower’ to prepare for your date tomorrow. You turn in for the night with a big smile plastered on your face and you’re so excited you can barely sleep.
You walk into the small cafe wearing a short little baby blue dress and some converse, your hair let down and make up all done. When Soap spots you he is torn between feeling incredibly nervous and painfully hard he stands up hugging you and giving you a kiss on the cheek before you two sit down. “So Bonnie how’s yer work been treatin’ ya?” Johnny hums looking up from the menu. You answer with a smile “Good, not too busy i mean th’ ewes have all started giving birth it’s a little late in the year but my ram wasn’t very good this year” You’ve never worried about business one because the local butcher mostly buys from you and two because you know your dad has always got you. “Sounds interestin Bonnie” He beams looking you up and down but his eyes are shamelessly drawn to your cleavage then to the cross around your neck. “Yer religious?” He questions raising an eyebrow and you smile and nod. “Catholic got baptised when i was 17” This information makes Johnny a little nervous as he’s not sure if he’s going to have to get down on one knee if he wants a taste of your sweet cunt. “So are yer like.. Super strict or?” He asks with a sheepish grin as he knows you have probably guessed why he’s asking. “Yes and no, there are some things I follow more than others.” You start as you take a sip of your tea. “I drink, swear and i slip up using the lord's name in vain but I'm still waitin for marriage and i wanna have a traditional weddin” There are those two words he didn’t want to hear. Not that Johnny Soap MacTavish would back down now he’s too in love, if he has to marry you he will. To be fair after the first time you met he went out and bought an engagement ring anyway. 
“Cool” He nods simply like he dosen’t have a problem with not being able to fuck you right away, well thats because he dosen’t have a problem with it. He’s in the SAS after all, he’s a patient man. 
taglist:
@tabbslouuformer
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bridgeportbritt · 3 months ago
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Ella's Residence | Sage, SimDonia
Kali: What'd you get for question #12, Ella?
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Ella sarcastic: Now if I tell you, how will you ever learn the material?
Kali giggles: You're so annoying. Let me see!
Ella: This study session is already going South.
Victoria: That's because we shouldn't be studying. We should be talking about boys!
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Chantel: Omg, Vicky. Don't start?
Victoria: What?? You can't tell me you're not dying to talk about that soccer player that Tyrell introduced you to.
Chantel: His name is Broderick and there's nothing to talk about... right now.
The girls oooo and ahhhh
Chantel: Oh, my Watcher. I'm going back to my dorm.
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Victoria: Oh, you're no fun, Chantel! Kali, what about you?
Kali: I would love to talk about some guy I'm head over heels with but so far all these guys are duds.
Ella: That's because you're not giving me any of them a chance before ditching them!
Kali: Hey, I can't help that I have high dating standards.
Victoria: As you should.
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Kali: And you're one to talk! No one even knows what it is that you've got going on. Not even you.
Ella: Ugh, tell me about it.
Victoria: You and Eric are hanging out literally every day. Are you guys dating or what?
Ella: I don't know. It's been pretty platonic. We just study or talk or watch movies together. We're just hanging out, I guess.
Kali: Doesn't sound like you're that excited about it.
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Ella: I mean, it's fun! But, yeah. I guess I figured things would progress by now.
Victoria: So progress them, Elle!
Ella: But, what if he doesn't want to progress things??
Kali: I doubt that.
Chantel: You guys need to figure it out, girl. You've got the most boring love life here.
Girls laugh
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Ella: Gee, thanks. I thought you were leaving!
Victoria: She loves us too much!
Kali: And I love that I can just copy off of my cousin's homework.
Ella: Now, I'm leaving for Chantel's dorm.
Victoria: I think you mean Eric's! (laughter)
Ella: Okay, back to studying. Gosh!
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phantomphangphucker · 10 months ago
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Phic Phight - Ghosts And Cold Turkey Is A Bad Mix
@darthfrodophantom @datawyrms @kalifa100 @lovelyunknown @nat-space-obsessed @duchi-nesten
Jazz has a boyfriend. Jazz has a boyfriend who has NOT met her family. Jazz has a boyfriend who has not met her family and knows absolutely NOTHING about her families career path. Jazz has a boyfriend who was about to have A Bad Time. Danny, Elle, and Dan were going to make sure of that in every way remotely possible… short of world ending calamity.
Alright, so Jazz probably should have actually talked to Bassel about her family, preferably before he had decided that he absolutely had to finally met her family. It was spring break so she couldn’t exactly push it off till later, or long enough to explain anything really, so he was officially going in ‘cold turkey’. Had she mentioned that her family was weird? Of course, that was unavoidable. But she’s fairly certain he thought that ‘weird’ meant being really into fishing or made crochet baby dolls, not everything ghosts. And now that they’re on the road she’s fairly certain that telling the driver that ghosts are ‘the family business’ is a bad idea; it would not be good if he were to drive off of the road in shock.
Bassel chuckling, “so am I going to get regaled with stories about weird birds they’ve seen bird watching or the last obscure B list bird horror flic?”.
Jazz laughing awkwardly, “you have not idea. No idea at all…”.
Unfortunately Jazz was unaware of one simple fact, it wasn’t just her and her plus one who was coming to visit for the break….
Jack beams as a clawed hand crams itself through the seam in the Fenton Ghost Portal™, turning his head to the stairs, “Danny! Your kid’s are here!”.
“AWESOME! WE’RE MAKING COOKIES TO PACIFY THE GREMLIN! SEND ‘EM UP!”.
Sweet! Cookies! Yum. Jack turning back to the portal as the doors slam open loudly and threateningly, Jack chuckling to himself, that man was always such a drama queen. Watching the tall full ghost step through the now open portal, a little sister sitting perched on his shoulders. The little missy waving wildly at her grandpa, “hiyya gramps!”.
The flaming-haired full ghost scoffing, “Yeah yeah, whatever”.
Jack grinning and jumping up, moving to hug the two, the elder of the two stiffening and just ‘putting up with’ the hugging, “glad you kiddos could make it!”, ruffling the littler one’s hair, “there’s cookies”.
“Hell yeah!”, and she’s off like a rocket, flying up the stairs.
Jack eyes the full ghost, “beat any other ghosts down lately?”.
The man snorts, “obviously. Not that any of them were much of a fight”, grinning meanly, all fang, “the gorffens were deliciously squishie though”. Jack laughing as the two large men head upstairs.
Danny’s grinning his head off watching Elle devouring at least fifth-teen ghost-shaped cookies. Waving at Dan as he comes up behind Jack, “there’s pure ecto-cookies too, Mr. Can’t Eat Mortal Realm Food”. The full ghost scowls and flips him off but absolutely takes a couple of the overly green person-shaped cookies. Ha. The human cookies were ghost shaped and the ghost cookies were human shaped.
“Whatever, mom”.
Danny absolutely scowls at that, chucking a cookie at the ghost. While Maddie hums, eyeing them all, “Jazz will be coming by too”.
“Oh? When?”
“Any moment now, I believe”.
“I am in pj’s!”.
Dan snorts, “you look like a dumbass no matter what you’re wearing”. That gets him immediately blasted in the face with a small ecto-beam, the ghost only grinning viscously in response; Danny zipping up through the ceiling to get changed. Mom seriously couldn’t have told him sooner? Gosh! He had a new ugly ass sweater with a stupid ghost joke on it to show off!
The knots in Jazz’s stomach could kill her if they became ghosts right about now, as Bassel pulls them up into her drive way. He nearly rams into the house actually, having been staring at the ops centre on the roof, “uh, okay, spaceship on the roof is slightly more out there than I was expecting?”, looking to her, “and do they run their business from their house? Hence the sign?”.
Jazz laughs awkwardly, “they have permits for it… that they got after building it”.
He shrugs, “I can admire the guts”, and patting her on the shoulder, “and stop being so nervous, I’m a great guy! I’m sure they’ll love me. Plus you’ve said they’re pretty easy to please”.
“Oh I’m not worried about their reaction to you, rather your reaction to them. I have mentioned they’re weird right? And that my dad’s taller than ninety-one percent of the human population?”.
“… you did not mention the height, damn that’s impressive, he’s the one with the personality of a puppy, right?”.
She gives him a supportive back pat before they get out and head to the front door, “yes, and thank everything for that. His hugs are crushing though”.
“I bet”.
The door pops open without her having to knock, meaning Danny’s up, “sup Jazz and- oh shit, you brought company. Fuck. Two seconds”, and slams the door in her face.
Bassel quirking an eyebrow, “what? Is he still in pj’s or something? That was a really ugly sweater. Pink? and green? Together? Ew”, chuckling a little, “and did it say ‘boo’ onto others as you would have others ‘boo’ unto you? Why was there an image of a ghost aggressively holding out a loaf of garlic bread?”.
She snorts, even if she’s honestly confused, “oh no, he always makes sure to wear something really unpleasant to look at when he knows I’m visiting. I believe it’s born from a sick, though harmless, degree of sadism”, frowning, “though I’m not sure why he just rudely slammed the door in our faces”.
And then she hears the cackle, the loud deep malicious cackle, officially realising that she… might have fucked up. Just a little bit. Sighing and facepalming, “oh no”. The couple standing there as seemingly a shouting match goes on inside.
“GET CHANGED YOU DIPSHIT!”
“YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! MOM!”.
“I WILL END YOU!”.
“GO AHEAD AND TRY!”.
“Are they gonna want these cookies or?”.
“DON’T YOU DARE! Yes, gumdrop, leave them some. HEY DROP THAT! DROP THAT NOW!”… “EW!”.
“HA!”.
“DAN!-”.
Then the door jerks open very aggressively, and Jazz and Bassel stare up at the giant of a man with too sharp eyes and a feral unkind grin, “so you bagged someone, eh? Need someone to beat him through the wringer?”, and moves to grab Bassel’s arm; who thankfully has the common sense to pull away while staring almost disturbed at the man.
Jazz grabbing Dan’s wrist and holding him, glaring at the semi-reformed mass murderer/genocidal, parricidal, infanticidal, amicicidal, omnicidal, deicidal, ecocidal, mundicidal, psychopath. “Don’t even think about, Dan”.
“Aw but Jazzy-”.
She points a finger in his face, “no. Bad. No trying to physically fight my boyfriend”.
Then Dan’s head gets yanked back, Danny grasping the man’s ponytail, “get back in here, you shit”. The door closing again.
Jazz turns and winces at Bassel’s freaked out expression, “alright so, I didn’t know Dan was going to be here. I would have absolutely said no, if I’d known that”.
“Should I be worried?”; he looked extremely worried.
Jazz grimacing, “he’s… on parole, for, well, for murder so, yes”, grabbing Bassel’s wrist, “well we’re here now, just, don’t go anywhere with him alone. He’s also a prankster”.
Bassel almost squawking, “Murder?!?!”, as she drags him through the threshold into the Fenton household.
They get smacked with the noise immediately, she still doesn’t get how her parents managed to make a semi-sound barrier for inside the house that worked even when doors or windows were open… even if it didn’t always work well with ghosts or half ghosts. Danny is ramming cookies into Dan’s face while standing on his shoulders and snarling, Dan attempting to yank him off. Elle is bouncing around on all fours playing with cujo, who’s vibrating with excitement literally. Dad is laughing, head on the table, and slamming a fist on it repeatedly; a chair falls over. And Mom’s set the stove on fire and is smacking it leisurely with that fire-proof ghost net; the Fenton Flamo-Containo she thinks.
Jazz rolling up her sleeves, sighing, and moving over to her mom, “what did you burn, mom?”; and starts properly smothering the flames… the flames have faces and eyeballs.
This was a mistake. This entire trip was a mistake. Her poor boyfriend.
Bassel blinks, gives himself a fortifying shake, and swallows, “hi? Um, I’m Bassel?”.
The smallest one is on him in a second, it’s freaky. Her chirping up at him, “why did you say that like a question? Are you a question? If I question you will you become a sentient question mark?”.
What? Her eyes are way too big and her skin is smooth. It’s… very strange. Then she’s being picked up by the smaller boy- the teenager, that he didn’t even hear approach. “Elle-”. That was strangely chastising to hear from a teen. “-no giving people existential crises”.
“Are question edible?”.
The teen quirks an eyebrow, “I mean probably? if you write them on a piece of paper?”.
“If I write them on apples and pelt doctors with them do you think they’ll anwser my questions without poking me?”
“Eh fuck it, give it a go. Tell me if it works”. Then the teen looks up to Bassel, “sup, I’m Danny, the little brother”.
Bassel nods awkwardly, this kid… was seriously off. His skin was too smooth too, eyes not right and dangerous, his hair seemed… darker than black. The hell is he looking at? “Uh. Bassel? I already said that though. Um, I’m guessing the girls the youngest sibling?”.
She pops out around Danny’s leg, “I’m the granddaughter actually”. Danny snorting, “grand-gremlin is more like it”. She bites the teen… does she have fangs???
Bassel blinks harshly, pointing at the… murderer, “his kid? I take it?”. And now that he’s looking, what the hell is up with how similar they all look???
Dan barks out a laugh, shaking his face off like a dog so hard pieces of green? cookie physically stab into the walls and cupboards, “that shit stain is moms kid, not mine! Holy shit!”.
Danny snapping his head to Dan and pointing aggressively at him, “you”, shrugging and changing tones so fast Bassel nearly gets whiplash, “would have absolute nightmare kids and I would cry if your dumbass is the one to make a grandpa of me. Fuck you”.
Bassel is… very confused.
Mrs. Fenton shouting, “and I don’t want to be a great-grandma! Thank you very much!”, and coming over, Jazz looking to be scowling down at the stove, “hello, I’m doctor Maddie Fenton, feel free to just call me Maddie though”, swatting him on the arm, “none of that Mrs. or Dr. stuff”.
Danny pouting at her, “hey, why does Val still have to call you Mrs then?”.
“Because you two are still teens mister”.
The teen only pouts more…. His eyes look far too glass-like, like he’s a doll. Bassel kind of wants to be no where near him. Eyeing Jazz’s mom, the… hazmat is extremely concerning, maybe he should have asked more about what her parents did for a living? or their hobbies? “You have a doctorate?”.
The woman grinning, “that’s right! Primarily in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science. but also criminology and medical science. My husband, Jack has doctorates in ecto-ology and clinical laboratory science as well, public health, chemistry, and practical theology”, turning away to eye Jazz, “the Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree”.
“For the millionth time, mom, I’m still not studying ecto-ology; spectral psychology is completely different and that isn’t even my primary field of study”.
Bassel blinks, okay he knew she said her parents were smart but damn. But… ecto-ology? Really? A pseudoscience? Taking that in conjunction with practical theology made some sense, many religions believed in sprits after all, but with medical degrees? With actual scientific degrees? He’d thought Jazz’s spectral psych was a bit odd, especially with the rumours she talked to ghosts which he brushed off, but at least it made sense since she wanted to be a therapist. Many people can use religion and the belief in spirits to help heal after all. “Ecto-ology huh? As your primary? Interesting choice”.
Then Jazz’s dad is on him in an instant, not inhumanely like Danny had been but to see someone so massive move so fast was jarring, “oh! Did Jazzypants not tell you!”, slapping a hand to his chest proudly, “the Fenton’s are a family of ghost hunters!”.
What.
Maddie eyes her daughter, “Jazz”. While Dan out right cackles evilly and Danny wheezes, hands on his knees, “Jazz you dumbass!”.
Bassel blinks harshly, “ghost… hunters?”, o-kay that was… a lot weirder than he expected. Her parents believed… in ghosts and claimed to ‘hunt’ them. No wonder his girlfriend wanted to study psychology, her parents were delusional.
Jazz can tell that her boyfriend absolutely thinks her parents are insane now. Danny eyeing the guy before wheezing more tells her he’s noticed too, walking over to her and patting her on the arm, “he doesn’t believe in ghosts, does he”.
She sighs, “I… don’t think so”.
“HA!”. Oh Dan was just eating this up.
Elle running over with cujo, holding the pup up at Bassel’s face, he looks like he barely resists recoiling, “pet the ghost pup and believe”.
“Why is he green?”.
“Because he’s dead! Dummy!”.
“What”. Then cujo is in his arms, his face is horrified, but he does cautiously pat cujo’s belly. Him stiffening and staring as the dog floats up and starts walking on the ceiling; Elle giggling.
Danny slinking over to the guy while Maddie tries to swat the dog off the ceiling, “yeah, welcome to Amity, famously the most haunted city in the world. And yes, your girlfriend’s parents are the leading ghost scientist of the entire world and sell ghost weapons to the government and general public”, doing jazz hands, “surprise!”.
Bassel hasn’t even made it past the entry way, Jazz feels like an ass for letting him go into this blind. Her shoving Danny away, “don’t be mean”, eyeing Bassel, who’s wide-eyed, “yeah sorry? I did tell you they were weird”.
Bassel eyes Dan standing on the table to pin a fucking green floating dog to the ceiling. Maddie’s holding a strange taser, that has green electricity, threatening the dog; Danny’s dangling off of her arm shrieking about leaving his pup alone and how if anyone’s going to get tased it should be him. Looking back to Jazz, “by weird you mean insane? I’d question the ghosts thing but there’s a floating green dog on the ceiling. Hell, I’m almost questioning my own sanity”.
Jack laughs, rubbing his neck, “oh yeah! We get that a lot! But hey! People stop calling you crazy once they get attacked by a talking five foot tall hornet or a town gets sucked into another dimension!”.
Jazz huffing, “you guys just will not let me live down that stupid hornet, will you”.
Danny shouting, “technically it was a shapeshifting old man! Not a hornet!”, as he runs out of the room with cujo in tow.
Maddie following with the taser, “Danny! he needs to be punished when he does that!”.
“No! Never! Kiss my dead ass!”.
Bassel blinking, “your… brother swears a lot, and wait did he claim to be Dan’s mom? What? I’m sitting down”.
Jazz wincing, “don’t sit on the orange chair, it screams sometimes”. He squeaks an ‘okay’ and sits on the purple couch rubbing his temples; Jazz plopping down beside him.
Dan shouting, “Is anyone gonna eat the ecto-wienies!?!”, from the kitchen.
Jazz scowling to herself before shouting back, “Dan don’t! I dont want Bassel passing out!”.
“That’s the point!”.
She throws her hands up dramatically in fur-station, at least her dad rushes off to stop Dan from consuming screaming hot dogs while their guest adjusts to his new reality.
Bassel groaning, “and why would I pass out?”.
… “They scream too. It’s… pretty freaky to see someone eating squirming screaming hotdogs if you’re not prepared for it”.
“And why do your parents have hotdogs that do that and how even?”.
Jazz shakes her head, “they might have studied clinical laboratory science but they absolutely do not practice good lab safety or sample safety. Things get contaminated accidentally a lot”.
“And that… makes hotdogs able to move and scream?”.
“That about sums it up, yeah”.
“What the actual fuck, babe”.
Then Dan pops over, arms crossed, “thanks Jazz, now gramps has confiscated all my food”.
Jazz pointing at him as he flops down on the same couch as them hard enough to make the couch bounce, “good and could you sit down any harder?”.
“I was aiming to knock you two love birds off”.
“Zone you are such a jerk”.
“I aim to displease”.
Bassel makes an aggressive motion with his hands, not looking at either of them, “okay what the fuck. First how did that not break the couch? Two how is a teen boy mom? And what is wrong with this town and house?”.
Dan snorts and Jazz knows she’s going to hate what comes out his mouth, him eyeing her, “should I tell him there’s a portal to the afterlife in the basement, or should you?”. She slaps him immediately, wincing from the definite sprained wrist she just gave herself; stupid full ghost jerk. He sticks his tongue out at her and she wants to slap him again; at least his tongue isn't forked at the moment.
Jack pops back in carrying Elle by the waist, her arms and legs dangling down as she giggles, “you good, Jazzy?”.
Dan chuckling, “no. She regrets not warning a certain someone”, putting a hand to his chest, “I fully support that fucking chaotic choice”.
Jazz scowling, “you just enjoy seeing people suffer”.
“Hey, if I’m not allowed to kill folks anymore I gotta get my kicks somewhere? Or would you rather I start skinning animals and leaving their flesh hanging from trees?”. Dan gets bashed off the couch by a baseball bat wielding Danny. “Ow! Seriously mom?”.
“Threaten to skin animals for the lols again and I’ll sic Sam on you”.
Dan puts his hands up, “I’ll pass, you kill joy”.
“Good”.
Bassel gags and makes a face at Jazz, gesturing his hands at Dan as Danny smacks him with the baseball bat again, “what”.
“He’s… got a twisted sense of humour?”.
“Not that!”, Bassel shaking his head, “well yes that, what is wrong with that man. But I mean the mom thing?”.
Jazz eyeballs the full ghost, “Dan’s a tough subject, let’s just say a lot of really nasty things happened to him and at least one psychotic break. And he calls Danny ‘mom’ mostly to annoy him”.
“Oh that’s a lot less weird-”.
“Danny kinda is his mom though”.
Basel groans.
Elle pops her head over the couch, somehow escaping Jack’s grasp, “Danny’s uncle is a mad scientist who has no issue dabbling in super evil human experimentation, Dan and me were tots made from Danny via fucked up science and suffering! Hooray for causing mass confusion!”.
Bassel glancing from the small girl to his girlfriend, “seriously?”.
Jazz sighing, “yeah, sorry. Technically that man’s mine and Danny’s god father, not uncle, but Danny likes to bug the man. Vlad… needs so much therapy”.
Danny shouting, “at least he’s got a cat now! Even if he did name her after mom”; while Dan snags the baseball bat and pops Danny on the head with it. Danny bites the baseball bat.
Bassel shakes his head, “so you weren’t kidding about being somewhat related to one of the richest men on the planet, and he’s basically a crazy super villain; great”.
Jack rubs his neck, “unfortunately yeah, I kinda blew up a proto-portal in his face and he didn’t take that well”.
Jazz puts her hands on her hips, leaning forwards a little, “dad, you guys didn’t visit him in hospital even once, for seven years. Of course he didn’t take that well”.
Danny popping out from behind Jack, “he still complains about that, by the by. I dumped get well soon cards on him last time he was whining about it. Asked him if that made up for it, he shouted no and shot me in the foot”.
Jazz shaking her head, “I still don’t get how you two ever get along”.
“Hey, arch enemies gotta have some bonding time sometimes. Plus, he’s got the good liquor and will absolutely try to bribe me with expensive gifts”.
“And I keep telling you that’s unhealthy and you’re only encouraging him”.
Dan chuckling, “let him, who knows, maybe I’ll get another gremlin sibling”.
Basically everyone, even Bassel, shouting, “NO!”.
Maddie getting back towards the kitchen, and bring out what remains of the ghost-shaped cookies, “cookie?”, offering them to Bassel.
… “are they going to start screaming?”.
Maddie blushing immediately, Jazz covering her mouth and laughing, “no. No. Only things that were once alive tend to do that. Baked goods are fine”, eyeing the cookies, “and they’re not green so they’re safe for human consumption”.
He takes a cookie and munches it very cautiously, “and the green ones?”.
Jazz grimacing, “definitely not safe for human consumption”.
Elle nodding, still behind the couch, “those are for us Phantom’s”. Meaning that now Jazz knows Bassel’s basically going to have to deal with finding out her brother and said brothers kids are all varying degrees of dead.
Bassel eyeing the small child, “do I even want to know?”.
Elle gives a cheery, “nope!”.
Oh okay, maybe her, and thusly Bassel, can dodge that whole situation. Jazz absolutely glares daggers at Dan to say nothing. The man grins evilly but remains silent, thank zone for that.
Bassel taking a breath and slapping his legs before standing up, “okay. Alright. You lot are stranger than I expected but I really like Jazz so I’ll deal”.
Maddie looks relieved but Jack booms, “awesome! You seem like a good guy!”, and smacks Bassel so hard on the back that he gets smacked into the floor and knocked out. Dan’s bending over wheeze laughing, Elle’s floated up into the air curled up and laughing, Danny’s run over to try and help the man while also laughing, and Jazz is shaking a finger at her dad angrily.
Maddie sighs, face in a hand, “Jack”; while Danny’s hoisting Bassel up and back onto the couch, smacking his cheeks to get him to come ‘round.
When Bassel comes to he nearly screams, that Danny boy’s face is inches from his own and he’s crouched on Bassel’s chest. How much did this kid weigh??? And damn were his eyes still extremely creepy. At least he’s clued in what was wrong with him, he was uncanny, like he wasn’t quite human but close enough that it was very wrong in that base instinctual way. The teen grins, it’s like his teeth don’t fit in his mouth and the smile is just a hair too wide. “Cool, you’re awake. Was starting to wonder. Dad smacked you into the floor by accident, if you don’t brace yourself when he goes in for back pats then you’ll wind up on the floor”, titling his head owlishly, “lesson learned?”.
Bassel nodding at the kid that hasn’t moved his face out of Bassel’s, “um, yeah?”, frowning, “your guy’s dad is freakishly strong, you know that?”. The boy just shrugs before hopping off Bassel’s chest, letting him sit up and rub his head a little. “Do your parents always wear the hazmats?”.
Danny chuckles, “yup, and they will still claim they are stylish”, rolling his wrist, “they try to get me and Jazz in ‘em all the time. But hey, I’ll stick to wearing that kinda bullshit when I’m dead”.
Jazz’s head pops out of the kitchen entryway, “oh good, you’re up. You up for pie? There’s eight for some reason”.
“Are… they all the same kind?”.
“Sadly, yes”.
Even he can admit that was sad, variety was nice. But Danny pouts at her, “hey, I’m not about to discourage my personal wannabe poacher just because he doesn’t have a single creative bone in his entire metal mecha suit”. What the hell was any of that supposed to mean? This kid was probably one of the most confusing people Bassel’s ever met, Elle being a close second.
“You could at least try to convince him to try lime cream instead of him shoving lemon cream at you three times a year”.
Bassel holds up a hand, “how old are these pies?”. His girlfriend blinks like that hadn’t even crossed her mind… she might be too used to this level of strange perhaps.
Danny waving him off, “oh I helped him find a solid anniversary gift for his girlfriend, which fine was extremely explosive but eh, so he went a little pie happy. They’re two days old”.
“Oh alright, I’ll have some then”; two days wasn’t even weird. That many pies was odd and how he got them was bizarre, but not as bad as a dog walking on the ceiling or Dan-the-psycho talking about skinning animals like it was funny. Him and Danny joining everyone in the kitchen proper finally. The stove is charred from top to bottom, fires were clearly common. The fridge… was glowing? The toaster looks like it’s definitely some kind of project and not safe to use at all. The table is clean at least, besides the cookie crumbs and excessive amount of pies.
Said pie is extremely good, like professional good. Bassel blinking at it, “damn that’s good”.
Danny chirping, like actually chirping, “I know right?”; how does a human mouth make that sound???
“Then why isn’t… Dan eating any?”; maybe evil or not…
Dan flips Bassel off, grabs a slice and proceeds to hurl it at him; Bassel barely ducking in time while Jazz, Maddie, and Danny all shout, ‘NO!’. Elle is giggling though and Bassel would bet money that’s encouraging the man. Danny smashes an entire pie right in Dan’s face in retaliation, Elle smashing a slice on Danny’s head; it just devolves into a full on pie food fight from there.
Jazz crouch walking to avoid splatter while Maddie shoos the three outside with a broom, Jack following while shouting about getting the hose. Jazz putting a hand on his arm, “you good”.
“What twenty something starts a food fight!”, shaking his head, “better than throwing a knife at me I guess”.
“He usually only throws knives at Danny”.
She said that like it was normal! And not at all disturbing or something to be worried about! “He actually throws knives at people!”.
She winces like she just now realised that wasn’t okay, “right. Don’t worry about it, he might make a lot of threats or do threatening stuff but he’s heavily against going back into solitary confinement”, her huffing, “which I still think was cruel, deprivation chambers are one hundred percent a form of torture and no one deserves that”.
“What kind of jail has a freaking deprivation chamber, oh my god”. No wonder that man seemed like he had the socialization skills of a very threatening murderous brick wall.
The two stand up and they can see the three ‘Phantom’s -he’s still confused on that one but too scared to ask- getting hosed off in the front yard by Maddie; Jack’s helping by physically holding Dan up in the air and laughing. What??? Bassel blinks, “no one should be able to lift that beast of a man up like that”.
And then there’s an explosion, Bassel jerking around and Jazz just turning causally to watch purple smoke leak out from what’s labeled as a lab door. Her grabbing him with a quick, “nope”, and dragging him outside.
“What was that?”.
“Don’t know, but I’m not taking the chance that whatever their latest project is is noxious”, then shouting at her mom, “mom! Something blew up in the lab and it’s leaking purple gas!”.
Bassel very strictly remembers her not long ago mentioning that her parents weren’t big on lab safety, noxious though? These people were completely nuts. His nice, level headed, kind, smart, cautious Jazz came from this??? Yes she could be a little neurotic, especially about food and sharps saftey which he absolutely understood now, and she was a little… spooky sometimes. But still! He still didn’t believe her hair was really that orange without her dying it, even if he’d never seen proof of her doing so. And she always had on some black tourmaline or turquoise that she claimed was ‘protection’, he just thought she was being a little spiritual, now it seemed more like this ghost thing.
Danny shakes his wet hair off like a feral dog, “that’s probably my lunch!”.
Jazz throwing her hands up, “why is it leaking purple gas!”. Bassel muttering, “I think it exploding is more concerning than that”. Jazz shaking her head at him, “Danny’s favourite local restaurant has highly explosive trade marked sauce”.
“What!?!”. How was that even legal?
Danny pointing a finger at Jazz’s face as he moves to head inside to… ‘rescue’ his food, “hey, you haven’t had real food till you’ve had a Mighty Meaty Mega Nasty Melt and Phantomized Fries”, shrugging, “and I was trying to make blackened ecto-wine infused bread, for sandwiches”.
Jazz makes a face at the boys retreating back, “ew”.
Bassel blinking, “did, did this restaurant really name a menu item ‘Nasty Melt’?”. He’s revising his previous opinion, this entire town was nuts; not just these people.
Elle, very wet, bounds over, “yup! It’s called the Nasty Burger, used to be Tasty burger but someone vandalized it and there was a vote to just keep the N”, grinning, “I think it’s funny, the sauce is to die for”.
Jazz cringing, “oh no not the death jokes, at least spare my boyfriend those, ugh”. The little girl sticks her tongue out and pouts a little before running back inside at the pies. Jazz going wide-eyed and following with a shout, “oh no you better not! Mom just got you cleaned up! You put that pie down missy!”.
Bassel cautiously sticking his head in, cautious of both fumes and pie, to stare at his girlfriend holding a literal child at gun point while the child menacingly holds a pie over her own head. “um, why are you threatening a child with a gun”.
She brushes him off like this isn’t messed up, “it’s fine, there’s no normal guns in this household”. What does that even mean? Ghost guns? Is that what this is? Is that why it’s slightly glowing green!
Then Dan scares the crap out of him, speaking up from directly behind him, “I wouldn’t worry about it, she’s a terrible shot anyway. She could put a gun directly against someone’s temple and still hit a cars side mirror instead”.
“I’ve gotten better!”.
“No you have not, you managed to shoot a fire hydrant and set it on fire last time; I was impressed”.
“Shut up, Dan”.
“No I don’t think I will”.
At least Danny, who somehow got behind Elle, takes the pie from the girl and wags a finger at her, “repeat chaos isn’t chaos, it’s a pattern”.
“What if I cut off one of my hands, put it in the pie, then smack her with it? Then it would be a pie high five, not a food fight”.
Danny blinks, “I’m stealing that idea for the next time the Lunch Lady throws flaming stoves at me”.
Bassel… Bassel is not questioning that. “Kid, your mind must be a very strange place”. Sure little kids always said odd stuff, things adults wouldn’t even dream of, but this was a special brand of odd.
Dan shoving his way past Bassel, nearly knocking the guy over and giving him some major hebejebes, to go pat Elle on the head in amusement. Maddie steadying him, “you okay? And at least she’s not as bad as Danny used to be”, crossing her arms and shaking her head, “he thought blackbird pie meant to actually find birds and bake a pie with them. It was incredibly disgusting, especially because he didn’t know how to use an oven yet so he maxed out its temp for three hours”.
Oh okay, so Danny was just like that too. What was that about apples and trees? “That… probably could have gone even worse”. The teen, then kid, could have burned the house down!
The woman grumbled, “at least he’s never sucked the house into the mirror dimension, unlike someone”, as she heads in to help Jazz, Danny, Dan, and Elle actually clean up the pie mess. Jack shouting, “I said I was sorry about that!”. Danny shouting back, “at least no one’s pulled a Technus and walked the house into the ocean!”; while Bassel is wondering how the heck the eldest Fenton heard his wife’s grumbling from the other side of the yard.
There was something seriously physically off with all these people. Including Jazz. He’s feeling very distinctly reminded of a lot of things he’s just sort of brushed off or thought nothing of about her before. He used to think a lot about how vibrant her eyes were, or that her teeth were a touch sharp; nothing like the ‘Phantom’s but still. She was amazing at lock picking and could handle ‘practice’ patients others couldn’t; even if she would also ‘force’ therapy on random people sometimes. And eyeing her parents, they’re the same. Intense eyes, oddly pale almost glassy skin, teeth that feel like they’re sharp but aren’t; it’s not uncanny the way those three ‘Phantom’s were, but it’s still odd.
Dan was the worst though, easily, when the man brushed past him it felt like being cornered by massive wolf or mountain lion. If Bassel had ran into that man randomly on the street there’s no way he’d think he was anything close to human. Danny and Elle at least seemed humanish, almost human; Dan just seemed like he was playing pretend.
Bassel shakes himself off before stepping back into the chaotic Fenton household, “am I going to get pie thrown at me again?”.
Danny looks at him, “nope”, then glares at Elle, “or someone’s losing her Switch privileges”; the girl gasps in horror.
See that? That was normal. Normal punishment, normal reaction to a punishment. Perfectly normal. … Then the girl threatens to ‘liquify herself in protest’; goodbye normal, it was nice while it lasted. Either way he moves to help clean up pie a little, speaking back up, “so your bread fine?”.
“It ate itself and imploded, so no”. What. The boy grins cheerily, right too many teeth, “which means it must have tasted good, meaning I’m on to something”.
“I? Guess?”. He’s honestly just trying not to stare at the teens teeth.
They somehow do actually make it to the living room to watch a movie. It actually is a weird B list bird horror flic, which feels too normal now and that frankly concerns him. He’s not sure he wants the get used to this level of insanity. He loves Jazz but he is fully intending to potentially never step foot in this building again after this. How was he going to survive here for a week??? Blinking, oh right, elbowing Jazz and whispering, “hey, all the luggage is still in the car right?”. Then Dan scares the crap outta him again, “don’t bother whispering, I can still hear you”. Jazz grabs a random round thing from the floor to smack the man with for that.
Jazz leaning against Bassel again, “the longer we leave it in the car the longer it’ll take to get contaminated or destroyed, I told you not to bring your expensive computer ‘just in case you had time’ for a reason”.
Considering the amount of mess and literal exploding/imploding -again, what???- bread, he could understand that sentiment; oh and the actual guns apparently just lying around. He is very glad he listened to her, that laptop was never setting an inch of its metal casing in this building. He winces, “yeah, thanks for that”. She pats him fondly.
Danny straightens out so fast that it aggressively startles Bassel. “Oh! Think I should invite Val?”, eyeing Jazz smugly, “since someone brought their little lover”.
Jazz scowls at him, “Danny, I think Basel having to put up with my very weird family including the two weirdest members, is more than enough without adding in your trigger happy girlfriend with serious anger management issues. Especially because I know for a fact she won’t agree to leave all her weapons at home”.
Danny looks offended, putting a hand to his chest and paying no mind to the bird-related massacre happening on screen, “I’ll have you know she doesn’t even sleep unarmed, she hasn’t been unarmed since she was fourteen”.
“Exactly”.
You know what? Bassel thinks that actually makes sense. Danny was too strange to date someone remotely normal. “I’m not even surprised, you’re a little too freaky to date someone who’s just, you know, an average person. So sure, date an aspiring cop or whatever”.
Danny snaps and finger guns at him, “think more like nanobot powered teenage ghost hunter with a jet sled”.
What. Bassel blinking, “so somehow you’re the more normal one in the relationship. This girl’s in therapy right”. Jazz actually laughs at that.
Danny screws up his face, “Ancients you sound like Jazz”, looking at her, “he sounds like you”, looking back to Bassel, “and eh, my personality has more sparkles and explosions”, tilting his head, “besides, how am I freaky, besides the gremlin energy and general chaos anyways”.
Dan snorting, “and the fact that you think dumpster chic is a good thing”.
“As if you don’t wear the same”.
“Excuse you, I lift all my clothing off of the finest of corpses”.
Bassel, and Danny for that matter, gag; Danny’s seems more mock dramatic gag though. Bassel shaking his head, “add in the fact that if someone told me you were actually a doll pretending to be human, I’d believe them”.
That gets him multiple odd looks, including from Jazz. No one bothers to pause the movie even though everyone’s attention is now on him as she quirks an eyebrow at him, “what do you mean by that? Sure my little brother can move too quietly or too quickly, and his still too skinny and pale, but I wouldn’t call him possibly inhuman looking”.
Danny points at his face, “I’m pretty sure if I looked legit freaky Dash would mock me relentlessly for it”.
Bassel is baffled, are these people just… used to him so much they don’t notice? And Dan’s just looking to the side snickering meanly, Bassel almost gets the feeling the man knows what he’s talking about. Bassel looking at each of them, “you’re telling me you guys don’t notice his skin looks like weirdly glassy play dough? Or his eyes are too big? That his teeth don’t fit in his face? He’s weighs less than a bag of potatoes!”. They all look very confused and turn to stare at Danny, who shrinks down a little awkwardly; Dan’s laughing is full on guffaws now, head tilted over the back of the chair that apparently sometimes screams. When Elle points at her own face and grins too wide, Bassel nods, “yes, you too. Less than, your uh, dad but still”, gesturing at everyone, “honestly all of you have hair that’s too strongly coloured, overly vibrant eyes, and no skin texture”, scratching his head, “I thought my girl just had a spot on skin care routine and impressive hair colouring technique that she refused to share”. Jazz fiddles with her orange hair a little, making him feel a little guilty. Bassel coughing, “not that I dislike that”. Dan barks out another loud laugh.
Jazz eventually hurling another random Bassel doesn’t know what at the man, “stop laughing! Us looking weird to normal people isn’t funny! You jerk!”.
Oh okay. So they don’t know. That was weird? Does no one in town comment on it? Does no one even notice it? Was everyone in this town that strange??? Or was everyone in town strange looking themselves?
Dan huffing another laugh, “oh it very much is! Especially because I already knew and did in fact tell you morons”, waving a hand around leisurely, “not my fault you shits thought I was just being an ass”. Bassel guesses it makes sense that the strangest and most startling looking -and feeling, frankly- one would be the one to notice.
Danny looks offended, “and how do you know this? The fuck Dan”.
The man scowls meanly, it’s very mocking, “oh I don’t know, maybe because I spent ten years travelling the globe randomly killing people? Maybe that’s it? I’m the only fucker here who’s done enough travelling to tell people find this face”, gesturing at his face and smirking, “alarming, and not just because I was usually either threatening to kill or trying to kill them”.
“What? you walked around with that face?”.
“Eh I got bored of the other one sometimes”.
Bassel is choosing to ignore part of this conversation, otherwise he’s not going to get over his girlfriend being related to what’s sounds like more ‘mass murderer’ than ‘single murderer’. Not to mention that he doesn’t want to know what is meant by the murderer having different ‘faces’. He doesn’t want to know if this man’s a real life leather face.
Elle pouts, “I travel a lot, no one tells me I look weird?”.
“Sis, you’re a kid, all little brats look fucking weird”.
The little girl giggles, earning a fond but very quick look from the large man. At least it seemed like he actually liked his family maybe.
Danny gestures at nothing and scowls at Dan, “Dan, you’re a six foot eleven wall of muscle with a face that’s default setting is evil smirk, of course people think you look scary!”.
“Oh people found me disturbing when I was wearing your skin too, mom”.
“Fuck you”.
Bassel forces himself not to ask how that’s even possible. ‘Wearing the skin’ of someone who still has their skin is impossible and not to mention the size difference, it wouldn’t fit; why is he even thinking about the logistics of this?!? Ew!
Jack scratches his head, “while I can’t say I see, I doubt you’re making stuff up”, looking at Maddie, “all the ecto you think?”.
The mother nods to herself, tapping her chin, “there’s not much else it could be, especially if our oddness is merely tamer versions of Danny’s and the grandkids”.
Bassel is lost, looking to Jazz and quirking an eyebrow. She cringes, “Danny has a very intense version of ecto-contamination”. She says that like it’s not extremely weird and concerning.
Danny chuckling, “if by that you mean I’m fucking half dead then yeah”.
Jazz swats him, “Danny! For zones sake!”.
“Hey!”, Danny sticks his arms out nearly smacking multiple people, “if I’m that freaky looking then there really isn’t a point, Jazz!”.
“I hate that you’re right!”, Jazz huffing while Bassel is officially realising that everyone just shouts at each other in this house, regardless of if they’re happy or mad or excited. Her turning to him, “my brother’s a bit dead”.
Bassel absolutely squawks at that, “what”. And then suddenly the kid’s glowing and his eyes are green, the actual hell? Elle leaning forward, sticking her tongue out and pointing at her face, also with green eyes and glowing. Bassel cautiously and slowly eyeing Dan, his eyes flash blood red and yup, glowing.
Okay. Alright. He’s in a room full of glowing people, what is he supposed to do with this? He officially thinks that anyone who has ever found out someone else wasn’t quite human in a movie was way too damn calm about it!
Jazz winces a little, she can tell her boyfriend has absolutely no idea how to react to his girlfriend's glowing family members, so she pats his shoulder, “is it weird? Yes. Am I glad my brother is only partially dead? Absolutely. Don’t worry about it?”.
He blinks owlishly at her, clearly freaked out, “it’s kinda hard not to worry about my sister having dead family members kicking around and her whole family including her being contaminated by ghost stuff enough to alter their appearances”.
Then Danny goes and opens his stupid mouth, holding up a still glowing finger, “technically, Dan’s the only one that’s totally dead. Me and Elle are still alive-ish”.
Bassel blinks again and asks something that Jazz really wishes he didn’t, “and why’s he the dead one?”, in a squeaky voice; the movie is absolutely long forgotten at this point.
Dan’s smirk is flat out evil and before anyone can stop him he responds, “oh only because I got my human shit torn out and disemboweled it. Ate half my uncle and flew off into the sunset”.
Bassel leans so far away he nearly falls off the couch, “what. The. Fuck”. While everyone else, even Elle, chastisingly shouts, “DAN FENTON!”, at the smirking full ghost. The tact on that jerk! The only tact he had was evil tact, that sought chaos and destruction!
“OoOooOOoOO, full name, I’m So HuRt. I’m So UtTeRlY aPoLoGeTiC. Truly”. The ass doesn’t mean a damn word of that and he wants them to know it. He smirks, “if we want to play that game I can just show him what I really look like”.
Danny standing up and pointing at Dan, “do that and I’m souping you”. Dan puts an offended hand to his chest and scowls deeply.
Bassel sputters, “I am never asking you people questions again, oh my god”.
Jazz can’t even blame him, even if she knows he eventually will ask more questions about, well, their everything. It was hard not to after all. She rubs his arm, “you really shouldn’t think about it too hard or worry, yes we’re used to it and know the admittedly weird science behind it”, cringing, “even if apparently only one of us was aware none of us looked normal”.
He blinks harshly, swallowing, “uh huh. You guys have a bathroom, right. Because I definitely need to decompress by staring into the mirror for a concerning length of time”.
Not good. Jazz wincing and getting up, “I’ll show you”, then pausing and eyeing Danny, “is the bathroom actually clean”.
Danny tilts his head and grimaces, also not good, “maybe don’t open the lower left cupboard”.
“Right”. Damn it, Danny. Pulling Bassel along as they head upstairs, “okay so listen to him and don’t get curious. He might have spilled something and not cleaned it so it’s gotten moldy. Or he shoved goddamn bandaging under there. Or there’s a ghost trapped in the cabinet”.
“I… kind of hate that I’m hoping it’s the first one”.
“Well considering it’s Danny, it’s probably the second. He gets injured a lot and has a non-existent biohazard safety mindset”, gesturing at the open bathroom, “anyway, here”.
… “is Danny why the shower floor looks bloodstained, wait never mind I don’t want to know”.
She gives him a supportive shoulder pat as he goes in and close the door almost hard. This… this has not gone well. At least he hasn’t ran out screaming? Yet anyways.
She heads back down stairs, pointing at Dan, “I’m blaming you, because it is your fault”, pointing at Danny, “and yours, because you somewhat made him”.
“Hey! He made himself!”.
“And he is you so my point still stands”.
“Jazz!”.
Jazz doesn’t really care that being reminded of that fact bothers her little brother, him and his off shoots have basically been terrorising her boyfriend. He should be bothered! “I am gonna be so mad at you if he decides this is too much”. At least everyone winces apologetically, except Dan who just glances away which was the closest he usually came to a ‘sorry’.
Jack rubs his neck, “sorry, Jazzy-pants. Want us to bring your guy’s stuff in?”.
She scowls, she’s not going to effectively trap her boyfriend here by doing that, “considering I don’t even know if he wants to stay here now, no dad”. Her dad winces further, good.
She sighs, flopping back down on the couch, “let’s just rewind and finish the movie. Like normal people”. Dan snorts at her and she glares bloody murder at him.
Okay. So. His girlfriend’s family are not ‘weird’, rather they are actually insane and physically impossible. Which is extremely not okay. But he likes Jazz, a whole lot actually. A ton even. She was odd but not insane or too physically impossible; and she didn’t live here, he wouldn’t have to see these people -especially Dan- often. A handful of times a year at best right now. Hell she might be annoyed enough to ban that Dan guy from being within ten feet of him; Bassel would not complain about that. Her parents at least seemed harmless, over enthusiastic and strange but acceptable. However he knew for a fact that him liking or not liking her parents didn’t mean much, she’s made it clear that she doesn’t think too highly about their opinions. Her brother though, he knows she loved that kid, sometimes she made it sound like she was more his parent than their parents were. Said brother was half freaking dead. Because apparently ghosts are a real thing and can just walk around the living like it’s nothing… and also apparently being half alive was a remotely possible thing. Also Danny, a teen, has kids. Two kids. One who’s clearly older than him and committed a likely extremely disturbing amount of murder.
Well…
They’re not Jazz’s kids. So he, maybe? won’t have to deal with them much. Jazz seemed surprised they were even here after all. Alright. Okay. He can deal with this.
That’s frankly a lie.
But he can at least manage and pretend he’s cool. Then, when they go back to uni he can have a mild freak out in his dorm room and their relationship can go back to sort of normal. He is absolutely going to ask about her ‘ecto-contamination’? later though, and if those stories about her ‘communing with ghosts’ were actually true and was she just talking to her brother or was she also talking to other ghosts.
Pushing himself off of the sink he’s been leaning on and slapping his cheeks, “you got this, man”. His reflection does not copy him.
What the actual hell is wrong with this place? Besides the apparent portal to the afterlife in the goddamn lab. How did these people break a mirrors ability to mirror? Shaking his head and pulling out his phone, okay he’s looking these people up, like he goddamn should have already.
Okay yeah they just are fully public with the ghost hunting thing huh? That must have been fun to grow up with. Jazz did say she tried to separate herself as much as possible from them as a teen, this is absolutely why. And apparently her brother saved an entire species of gorillas? By… climbing in one’s cage… so he’s just always been crazy and reckless, got it; but hey, at least the gorillas aren’t extinct now.
Bassel’s not surprised that looking up Elle gets him nothing, she’s a young child after all, but Dan? For a supposed murderer there isn’t even a single result about him. No wiki article, no victim impact statements, no mugshot, no public court files, no morally questionable serial killer podcasts, nothing. Weird. But he’s absolutely not asking the man about that, because he doesn’t know what kind of nightmarish response he’s going to get. Considering his age -aka, being literally older than his freaking parent- it might be some sort of time travel thing, which he mildly hates the entire notion of, especially since he’s not going to claim he knows what’s possible or not now.
After all, his reflection is still just ‘standing’ there staring at him while he’s been pacing back and forth staring at his phone. He’s not googling his girlfriend of course, that would be creepy, but what about the ‘Phantom’ thing? That… that gets a lot of results. Freaky ones.
So…
Apparently…
This town has a goddamn dead superhero? That’s a freaking colour inversion of Danny with green eyes and also named Danny? Which there is no way that’s ’just a coincidence’. So Jazz’s brother is kind of dead, has an ‘arch enemy’, and is almost definitely some kind of dead superhero. Cool. That’s… that’s not completely insane at all. He officially feels like he’s in a knock off marvel movie with a secret identity reveal and everything.
And oh hey! Girl in red on a jet sled, Danny’s girlfriend, also definitely a superhero. Cool. This is Hell.
… Based on all the photos and videos of full blown super powered fights this town might actually be part of hell or an afterlife full of apparently violent dead people. No wonder Jazz was leery of him so much as visiting her home town, nonetheless her parents. A google of the stats shows that these ‘ghost attacks’ happen multiple times a day and it looks like they sometimes did a concerning amount of damage. Also the mayor is that Vlad guy? The evil uncle god father arch enemy guy. Why? How even? … It was probably mind control. Oh he kind of hates this.
Also though, how the heck was this town and this whole ghosts and a death dimension situation, not known about world wide?!? If it’s some kind of government suppression of information he’s going to scream; not actually scream just… internally scream. You’d think this would be something that’s in national news, an actual real life superhero and villains, another dimension, the afterlife… Okay perhaps being super public about an after life could cause some issues among religious groups.
Then his reflection growls at him.
Nope.
He’s not dealing with that.
He’s out of the bathroom in two seconds flat, practically rushing down the stairs, wheezing. Everyone, but Dan, is on the couch again apparently finishing the bird movie; Dan is just outright nowhere to be seen which he is a-okay with. “My reflection growled at me”. Jazz buries her head in her hands, this was obviously not how she wanted this first meeting to go; it wasn’t how he wanted it to go either, but he didn’t know it going this absurdly was even possible. Meanwhile Maddie and Danny shout, “JACK!”, clearly thinking the mirror is his fault. Wasn’t something about him going to the mirror dimension mentioned earlier? or is he just starting to come up with his own crazy possibilities.
The large man runs his neck, laughing, “whoops! Must have grabbed the wrong mirror!”.
“Wrong? Mirror?”. Damn right, he said he was done asking these people to explain literally anything.
Bassel eyeballing Jazz’s dad as he gets up and begins to move upstairs, “ah yeah, Danny-boy head-butted the old one so it had to be replaced, musta got the new mirror and the dimensional mirror mixed up!”.
Why is this kid head-butting mirrors and why does this family just have a ‘dimensional mirror’? Ugh, Bassel’s poor head. Jazz apparently has these same questions, or one of them at least, as well as the willingness to ask it. “Little brother? Why were head-butting the mirror? Young Blood isn’t trying to give you another nervous breakdown, is he?”; Bassel can practically feel the worry in her voice.
Danny scowls dramatically, “I’m fine, Jazz. No need to psycho babble me, Ancients. Skulker just decided that tooth brushing time was good head shooting time, I confiscated his right arm for that and he didn’t get it back for three days”, the kid looks proud of himself, “he hasn’t attacked me in the bathroom since”.
Bassel blinks, slightly horrified, Danny what? stole some… ghosts arm? as punishment? “Uh, I’m pretty sure a supposed superhero teen is not supposed to go around stealing people’s limbs”. Jazz groans very loudly and very tiredly.
Danny laughs, “oh! You looked me up huh? Don’t worry, I only took his mecha bodysuits arm, not his actual real arm”.
That’s… stranger but better. Then Elle pipes up, “even if he had it wouldn’t matter! See-”.
“NO!”.
Bassel is not going to ask why Danny just grabbed both of her wrists and glared at her. He has absolutely learned that if someone, or everyone, shouts ‘NO’ at someone else then he absolutely did not want to know why. Instead he watches his girlfriend get up and smile very awkwardly at him, he’s unpleasantly aware of the fact that her teeth were probably whiter than they should be, “you okay? Are we good?”.
“Absolutely not, but yes, yes we’re alright. I am absolutely not visiting here frequently though. And if Dan ever shows up anywhere near my dorm I’m hitting him with a frying pan immediately”.
She actually chuckles at that, “that’s fair, I tried to shoot him when we first met and tried to hit him with the creep stick the second time”. He’s not going to ask what a creep stick is, but he’s glad she had the sense to hit someone who’s clearly dangerous. “But call if he does do something that stupid, which he shouldn’t if he knows what’s good for him. He will only laugh if you hit him with a frying pan”.
Maddie shaking her head and getting up, “I’ve done that a time or two, he has a habit of trying to sneak food or add poisons just to see if he can get away with it”. Bassel doesn’t have words to express how concerning that is. “And I’m sorry this hasn’t been the best impression, it’s also unfortunately not the worst either though”. Oh. This could be worse? How? Blowing up the house? Hospitalising him? Probably!
Elle sticks a star sticker on him, “congratulations! For passing the weirdness tolerance test!”, looking back at Danny, “am I allowed to try and bite him now?”.
“No, you little shit”, Danny grumbling, “teething preteens are the worst”.
Wasn’t teething supposed to be something babies did? He wants to ask but nope, he’s not going there.
Then Jack’s voice startles him a good bit, “Your reflection must have been staring at you for a while there, buckeroo! Had to really shake it to get him to go away”.
Man was Jack ever a loud guy. Bassel chuckling awkwardly, “yeah I was a little preoccupied and choosing to ignore the insane broken mirror”.
Dan has apparently come back, “ha! You’re lucky your reflection didn’t try to reach through the mirror and strangle you”.
Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. Bassel is not asking. But note to self, do not ignore sentient reflections that move of their own accord. Jazz even shakes her head, “okay that wasn’t the smartest decision you could have made, but I get it”, and she gestures at the couch, “want to finish the movie? Then we can get our stuff in?”.
He sighs, tired, “yeah, yeah, that’s… that’s good”. Just let everything else be normal, or as normal as it can be with the literal walking dead being in the room. Elle grabs him and Jazz before dragging them to the couch, the child is way too strong.
Jazz can practically feel the relief in her bones when they make it through the rest of the movie without anymore incidents, everyone getting up and Jack grabbing a scowling disgruntled Dan to help bring stuff inside. Dan grumbling, “I feel the need to point out that Danny is just as strong as me even if he looks like a damn beanpole”.
Danny shouting, “you mean I’m stronger than you! And hey! I’m lean!”, after them.
Bassel quirking an eyebrow at Jazz, her shaking her head with a small smile, “ectoplasmic energy counts for more than physical appearances with ghosts, my little brother might still be a child and thusly hasn’t hit his growth spurt yet, but he can absolutely take his kid down a peg or two”. And he absolutely loved to pester Dan about that fact, while Dan loved to pester Danny about still being ‘puny’.
Dan growls from the garage doorway, “You lot would be dead otherwise and you know it”.
Jazz rolls her eyes, “maybe at one point but we’ve grown on you, don’t lie mister”. The full ghost only grumbles incoherently in response.
Of course her dad tries to open the trunk before Bassel can unlock it, resulting in him picking the car up, Dan having to catch the car when the trunk opens taking dad’s grip with it. Dan chuckling, “normally I’m the one who’s into picking up vehicles”.
Dad chuckling himself, “yeah and you usually throw them when you pick them up!”.
Bassel shakes his head as the full ghost sets his car on the ground fully, “do not throw my car, do all of you just have super strength”.
Jazz facepalms when her dad tilts his head like a puppy, “little cars like these aren’t that heavy though? I could have lifted this back in my college years even”. Bassel looks baffled when she glances at him.
Jazz sighing at her dad, “Dad, your parents were ghost hunters too, you’ve probably been contaminated your whole life, like me and Danny”.
“Oh right! Ha! I forgot about that! Silly me!”.
Bassel shakes his head in disbelief but takes a few of his things instead of letting the two much larger men carry everything. Jazz makes zero attempt to help Dan with any of it, her sticking her tongue out him instead. He snickers at her, “really taking the higher road here, aunty”.
“Like you’re one to talk”.
“The high road and I are incapable of coexistence”.
“Exactly”.
At least it seems like Bassel is fondly amused with their bantering, instead of disturbed, as they move from the garage and up to her old room/the spare room. Her eyeing her mom while the three men set things down in the room, “so where are Elle and Dan staying?”.
Dan scoffing from inside the room, “you say that like I sleep at all”. She studiously ignores him.
Her mom humming, “why don’t you ask Elle? Because I’m not sure”. And Elle pops out from behind Maddie, “we’re not. Grandma Pandora’s supposed to give me some sword fighting lessons!”, pouting, “and I gotta practice if I ever want to beat pops someday”.
Danny can be heard shouting, “like that’ll ever happen!”, from somewhere; and the little missy is off like a rocket after her dad probably to tackle him.
Dan growling, “if you try to make me organize your guys shit I’m going to intentionally remove every screw, battery, and third paper from everything I can get my claws on”, before Jack laughs and pushes the ghost out of the room. Dan eyeing Jazz, “and if you’ll remember, I’m not ‘allowed’ to be out past sunset”.
Ah right, she did actually forget about that. “Serves you right”. As he heads down and back to the living room he sticks his tongue out at her, it absolute is forked this time.
Bassel popping his head out of the room, “you want your studies and research notes left on the night stand? And remind me why we’re staying inside this strange house instead of a hotel, there’s… mold with eyes I think, in the corner”. Her wincing, “because the hotel has mandatory waivers and doesn’t allow Fenton’s”, then nodding up at him, “yeah my stuff’s fine there, don’t put anything in the drawers, sometimes stuff just vanishes inside for an unknown reason”. Based on him ducking back in immediately, he had in fact put some stuff inside a drawer and the sigh of relief and her dads light hearted laughter tells her that whatever it was was still there. At least some things were going right.
And then it promptly goes horribly wrong as soon as Bassel comes out to go back downstairs with her. A massive black star speckled ghost phasing their way down through the goddamn ceiling, Bassel going stalk stiff while Jazz dashes up the steps with him in her grasp and ducks both of them into the bathroom. Bassel sticking his head out of the bathroom while crouching just like her and whispering, “was that thing a freaking ghost? What the hell, babe”.
Her basically hissing at him, “yes, and a very powerful one”. Bassel grumbling, “I think today hates us”. She whole heartedly agrees.
Meanwhile the ghost is shouting, “PHANTOM! I request your aid!”, and from her and Bassel’s bathroom vantage point it looks like the ghost just got punched in their masked face -based on them being pushed back out of the kitchen entry way with a hand to their face- by Dan, who stomps out snarling, all fang but thankfully still human-looking, “wrong one, you sleepy ass”.
Starry sleep ghost… starry sleep ghost… ah right! Their name was Nocturne right? Her little brother did try to get her to remember the names of the more important ghosts after all. “Nocturne?”.
Oh she shouldn’t have said anything. The ghost looks to her and ‘brightens up’ in that cruel looking way many ghosts do, them promptly stretching and looming their body up and head over her and Bassel, “ah, young Phantom’s brethren. Do you know as to where I can find the one that will not attempt to eat beings of ancient malevolence?”. Bassel is shaking and she’s worried he’s going to pass out.
Dan rams a clawed hand into the ghosts body, “I’m true malevolence, mother fucker. Get back here”.
Thankfully Danny -in his ghost form unfortunately- pops in before Dan can do something stupid, “Dan! Leave the freaking god of sleep alone! Oh my Ancients!”. Him pointing at Nocturne’s face as the ghost moves down to him completely ignoring Jazz and Bassel now, “what the zone, Nocturne? You can’t just bust into my lair core whenever you feel like it just because I don’t get enough damn sleep”.
The ghost holds up a finger, “ah but that is hardly the reason for my arrival, I have seemed to ‘fucked up’, as you would say, to an unfortunate degree”.
Danny sighs and sags his entire body, floating in the air, “ugh, what did you do?”.
“I acquired-”.
Danny interrupting immediately, “You mean stole”.
“I acquired some eternal gardenia from FungalLung, they have now beset my domain with pink dew and blood blossom seeds”.
“Why the actual crap would you steal from that split personality psycho? There’s a reason no one goes near that kids garden”.
“I had a need for such things, as someone-”.
“Oh no, no blame game bullshit outta you, shit ass”.
“Our king needs to be-”.
“Needs to be allowed to have a bit of goddamn fun and some breaks, that’s what he needs. Now play guide, you reckless starry blanket”, Danny eyeing Dan, “Dan. Let. Go”.
Dan flinching and doing as he’s more or less commanded to. Scoffing, crossing his arms, and moving back into the kitchen with a tense, “whatever”.
Bassel wheezes when the ghost and her brother disappear through the floor, Jazz standing up fully and pulling him along with, “great. Just great. Love it. What next? An invasion?”.
Elle hums, “I mean, I could ask mythic grandma if she’s up for one”.
Jazz and Maddie both pointing at her aggressively with matching, “absolutely not”’s. Making the girl giggle. Jazz looking back to Bassel, “I promise you’re okay and not about to get attacked. Are you feeling okay?”.
“I am ten seconds away from wanting to lay on the carpet and scream cry into it, and I am positive I need a shock blanket”.
At least she doesn’t even have to ask her mom to get one for her to rush off and do so, Jazz and Maddie herding him into the spare room wrapped up in a Fenton ghost proof shock blanket in record time. Jazz nodding softly at her moms apologetic look and gesturing for her to leave them be, dad following his wife out with an exaggerated wince.
She shuffles up next to him and rubs his arm from over the blanket, effectively side hugging him, “okay so you’ve properly seen your first ghost, and they were unfortunately one of the non-human ones; but, Nocturne is quite safe actually, more a neutral being than malicious”.
He nods a little.
“They do tend to harass my brother a lot since they care a lot about sleep and he doesn’t get nearly enough of it”, shaking her head and laughing lightly a little, “and yes, what Danny said is true, they are for all accounts and purposes the god of sleep”, sighing, “nearly every god worshiped through out history is real and, yes, a ghost”.
He swallows, pulling the blanket around himself more, “that’s… kind of insane and a lot”.
Jazz nods more so to herself, she had a hard time swallowing that herself as a teen, “I know. I still find it a bit baffling myself and it is extremely strange actually meeting any of them”.
“At… at least you actually seem weirded out. Everything… else doesn’t seem to be, uh, strange, to you”.
“I’m used to it, more than I’d really like to be. I definitely wi- would prefer if my family was more normal, even marginally. And I’d rather my brother not be wrapped up in all this the way he is. Even Dan and Elle often feel that way, even if they wouldn’t exist if he wasn’t involved so heavily in everything”.
“That’s, concerning, actually”.
Jazz pats his arm some, “they haven’t had the best existences”.
Dan then startles her, voice coming through the door, “and there’s the simple fact that everyone would be better off if I never existed”.
Jazz sighing to herself and looking to the door, “Dan that’s not true”.
“And that’s crap and you know it, don’t bullshit me Jazz”; it sounds like he’s stomped off. She’s… going to have to talk to him later.
Bassel shivers, “he’s got a lot of… issues, huh”.
Jazz sighing and nodding, closing her eyes, “if people tell you you’re a monster enough that becomes all that you are and healing becomes nearly impossible”, shaking her head and looking at him, he’s watching her intently, “Elle and Danny are good for him but his emotions don’t work like they’re supposed to because of what happened to him. He’s also partly being pissy because Danny genuinely scolded him. Anyone exerting their power over him tends to rile him up, whether he wants it to or not”.
“Part of him being a, uh, ghost?”.
She nods, “yup. Though I doubt talking about Dan is great for you right now”.
Bassel looks away and stares forwards, “no, probably not”, shaking his head and readjusting into the blanket, “… that, ghost, called your brother a king, didn’t they”.
Jazz shrugs, “he tires not to let it get to his head”.
He shakes himself a little, shaking his head slowly side to side, “yeah no, I’m not pushing. Though is that why he feels like death, the pressure of death at least, when he looks all black and white”.
“I… if he feels like that I’ve never noticed, sorry. But I was living with him when that change happened so it very well might have happened slowly, over time”.
“I guess that makes sense, it almost felt hard to breathe when his voice got… thick? at Dan”.
Jazz blinks, nodding immediately, “ah that’s actually a specific power he has. He mostly just uses it to get across that he’s not playing around, that he’s being serious”.
“Effective”.
Jazz nods slowly, letting him just breathe for a bit. She guesses she can understand how her brother can be a bit much, and it was definitely for the best that Bassel found out before a ghost crashed the party that her brother was a ghost himself. Then he speaks up again, “you’re entirely alive, right? I know you have a lot of spooky rumours that follow you and, like I said, you do look off. So, you’re not a ghost, right?”.
Jazz is tempted to laugh, instead she just shakes her head, “no, not even a little bit”.
“Good. That’s good”.
She just hums, nodding to herself. Waiting for him to work through his own head. Hearing about ghosts and seeing one were very different things, and an Ancient was hard to run into no matter what Danny said. She swears it’s like he forgets that he is in the same sort of classification as them. But at least it seems like Bassel’s handling it better than many do, better than most non-Amity Parkers at least. And then her dad goes and bangs the door open, nearly making Bassel fling himself off of the bed, “I made hot chocolate!”.
“Dad! He’s trying to wind down! Not get the zone scared out of him!”.
Her dad wincing, “ah sorry, Jazzy”, holding up the two cups, “hot chocolate?”, and tilts his head to the side.
Jazz sighs, side eyeing Bassel to make sure he isn’t going to freak out further before getting up and grabbing the cups, “I know you mean well, dad, but you’re still a very loud, very large, presence”.
He rubs his neck and laughs awkwardly, tilting sideways enough to look at Bassel. Giving her boyfriend a thumbs up, “you kids get settled, no funny business”.
“Oh my zone!”, she shoves him out with a foot, barely managing not to spill, and kicks her door shut. At least she manages to give Bassel the hot chocolate gently, “that man, I swear”.
Bassel genuinely laughs though, staring at the hot chocolate in his hands, “that was so utterly normal dad behaviour though, it’s grounding actually”.
Huh. Guess he actually did a good job. “Then I owe him an apology”. She makes her sip on the hot chocolate -that’s already been adequately cooled, thanks dad genuinely- loud, purely to encourage Bassel to drink his.
He notices the cooled temp too, “he waited till it was cool but not too cool, huh?”.
“Yeah. He’s a bit of a fool and reckless but he cares a lot and has a good heart that’s as big as he is”.
Bassel humming and they sit in silence for a bit until, “is your brother going to be okay? I know I called him a superhero and google seems to say he is but…”.
“Oh superhero is very accurate by human standards, but by ghosts he’s basically normal. Behaviour wise at least. Most of the time”, shaking her head, “he’ll be fine, even if it sounds like he might wind up with a case of Blood Blossom poisoning again”.
“Let me guess, ghost poison?”.
“Yup”.
“That’s absurd”, and he sips at his hot chocolate some, “he’s not going to vomit on the floor is he?”.
Okay she can’t help but laugh at that, shaking her head, “no, no, more coughing fits, aches and pains, and muscle spasms. That’s only because he’s alive enough to not be fully affected”.
“Hence why this powerful ghost came for his help?”.
Jazz nodding, “hence why a powerful ghost came for his help”, tilting her head, “though if I remember right pink dew is a psychedelic, so he also might be high when he gets back”.
“Oh god, I don’t think that kid should ever do drugs. Being near your entire family is like being on drugs”, sticking his arms out of the blanket and gesturing the mug around, “if I woke up in the morning and was told this was all one big fever dream, I’d believe it”.
“That’s understandable. Which is why the rest of the world considers this town a hoax”.
“Yeah I was wondering about that”, he downs a considerable amount of his drink, “you’d think the whole world would know about this. But I guess that would cause an uproar”.
Jazz sighing, almost annoyed, “yeah, the government does try to keep a lid on everything”.
“God damn it. Seriously? Ugh. I hate that I called ‘government cover up’ as the why”.
“There’s more to it but the rest is a lot weirder to the point where even I don’t want to think about it. It’s actually in the category of too weird”. Her little brother mind wiping an entire planet after fighting a reality controlling clown that turned roads into rollercoasters and made him fight a fire breathing clown and a lava pit full of rubber ducks, was so many steps past extremely strange.
Bassel full body cringing, “then I definitely don’t want to know. I do want to know if the stories about you communing with ghosts in your dorm are true though, and if your dorms is ‘contaminated’”, looking down at the cup, “and we should thank your dad for this. It was pretty good”.
Jazz blushes a little, “they’re true, even ghosts need therapy and I don’t need my license to give it to them. Sometimes it is just Danny though, and I’m good about keeping on top of decontamination, so don’t worry about that”, then eyeing him, he still seemed a little out of it and shocky but he was definitely better and really there was no normalising or rationalizing her family, “we’ll go down and thank him if you’re alright”.
He nods down at the cup and to himself, then looking at her with a nod and shaking smile, “I’m going to be digesting all of this for days at least, but I’m okay, babe. I absolutely hope today was the weirdest day of this week visit though”.
Jazz hums, standing up and offering him her mug-free hand, “well Dan will avoid Danny for at least a full day and Pandora will keep Elle busy for at least three; so there won’t be their chaos for a little while. As for literal gods showing up, that happens so seldom that I genuinely believe that Johnny’s Shadow might’ve snagged us some bad luck on the way into town”.
“Johnny’s Shadow?”.
Oh maybe she shouldn’t have brought that guy up. Wincing, “um, Shadow is basically Johnny’s pet or familiar? And Johnny is a ghost I may have dated? Once? He wasn’t genuine about it, and I was a dumb teenager who feel for his stupid motorbike and bad boy vibes”.
He actually snickers at her, before laughing fully and having to put the mug to the side to avoid spilling it, “I! Can not believe how stereotypical! That is!”, shaking his head and wheezing, eyeing her, “straight laced, honor role daughter falls for a motorcycle riding bad boy who’s all charm and bad intentions”.
She smacks his arm, “don’t be mean”, she doesn’t mean it at all though, “and Danny actually dated his girlfriend, she was trying to make Johnny jealous”.
“So what I’m getting here is ghosts are seriously just goddamn people, some are just very extra”.
“That’s one way to put it, yeah. Or they’re more like animals”.
Bassel blinks as they shuffle out of the room, “oh thats right, the green dog, where’d he? go?”.
Jazz snorts, “Danny sent him back to, well, the other side as it were; since mom was trying to taser him”. He was always so protective of that dog, even if said dog caused so many issues.
“That did seem a bit excessive”.
“Oh absolutely not, that dog is an actual menace”.
“I’m just going to take your word for it”.
They pop into the kitchen, she’s not surprised both Dan and Elle are gone. “Thanks for the hot chocolate, dad”. Bassel nodding, “yeah, it was really good, thank you”.
Her dad gives a goofy thumbs up, “glad you liked it!”. And she thinks everything might just be okay.
Bassel’s not really sure what to do about all of this. What he does know is that he’s better off not thinking about it and not trying to actually figure out what to do about all of this. He knows Jack Fenton cares a lot, makes good hot chocolate, he’s loud and big, and sure he’s a little off and too strong but he actually is like a puppy. Maddie Fenton was a lot softer, a lot more aware that her family was odd, more socially adept, but she was also more threatening and quick to fight; strange and off as well but she came off as more normal than her husband. Danny was… a nightmare, full stop, he’s a little worried what kind of friends the teen had that could put up with him. He was borderline actually insane, but from what Bassel saw on his google trip he also was a genuinely good kid. Bassel’s fairly certain that even if the world turned against him he’d still fight to save it; that took a level of sheer determination and heart that Bassel probably didn’t have himself. Elle was just a weird kid with too lax and strange of a parent, she might stand a chance at being almost normal someday. Maybe. Dan was an utter psycho though, he honestly can not think of a redeeming quality for that one. Doesn’t even want to try. Because excusing a murderer was not a line he feels like toeing. Jazz says Dan wouldn’t hurt any of them and does love them, but he’s not sold on that; it seemed more likely that she just didn't want to admit that the man was simply an awful unkind corrupt person.
And Jazz?
Well, his opinion honestly hasn’t changed. She’s still awesome, beautiful, caring, neurotic, a worrier, and slightly strange. He wants to think she’d be the same, though maybe less strange, even if she had a perfectly normal and average family. He wasn’t about to let odd family break them up, even if it was the kind of odd normally reserved for tv shows and the weird comics you find at truck stops that are filled with plot holes and questionable narrative direction. Either way he’s sticking around, so long as he can actually physically survive a week in this place.
Him watching as Danny, covered in some kind of clear goo or slime, kicks open the lab door with blown out pupils and a gnarly rash on half his face. “I! Never want to see! Another! Fucking! Person with me damn mushroom eyes again! I feel! Disgusting! Bleh!”, sticks out his tongue and then faceplants onto the floor groaning; the slime stuff splatters around a bit.
Bassel blinks, “um, should someone drag him up to the bathroom or something?”. Then the kid sprouts another set of goddamn arms and hands out of his back and proceeds to dragging himself across the floor and up the stairs with them. “Never mind, what the hell. I never want to see that again”.
Jazz sighs, rinsing out their cups, “he’s definitely high, don’t touch the goo trail”, moving to get the biohazards mop and bucket, “Danny can be a bit of a jerk with the body horror stuff but he usually reserves it for people he knows can handle it”.
“That’s… good. Dear god”.
And then… Danny??? runs up the lab stairs, “did anyone see a body of mine”.
Jazz throws the mop at him and yelps, “what the Zone! Danny?”, making faces at him and pointing at the stairs that still has a slime trial on it, “I have some serious questions”.
He blinks at her, “rogue duplicate”, and runs towards the stairs.
Jazz throws up her hands, “why would you use a power you suck at to deal with drug flowers!”.
“Because I didn’t want to personally deal with blood blossoms!”, the kid slips on the slime and smashes his face into the stairs, “fuck!”, then scramble crawls up the steps.
Bassel grabs the mop back up, ignores that it’s a weirdly hot pink colour, and hands it off to his girlfriend, “so that was a thing that happened”.
Jack starts wheeze laughing, sitting down at the kitchen table, “I hope his duplicate at least had fun!”.
Maddie grinning at the man, “I’m sure it did, Jack hon”.
Everyone, including Bassel, ignores the strange thumping going on upstairs as well as the… arm that comes hurling down the steps and dissolves into green goo against a wall. Staying here was going to give him some extremely unique and unfortunate nightmares, wasn’t it? At least now he gets why his girlfriend had such an easy time writing behavioural papers, she had multiple subject studies. He might even be able to bang out a paper or two on human adaptability after this. He absolutely was not doing any papers on people growing arms out of their backs though, that would get him sent on a grippy sock vacation.
Danny pops back in looking disgusted, “it’s dealt with”.
Maddie eyeing him cautiously, “is the hall way intact?”.
The boy sags and gives a truly crushed, “no”.
At this point, Bassel thinks that’s frankly expected. He also thinks that this household is cursed. At least Jack bounds up the stairs to start fixing the hallway and Bassel legitimately doesn’t care to check out the damage. Truly. Instead he’s just going to sit down with his girlfriend and, like her, mildly regret him coming and going into this ‘cold turkey’. Next time she warns him about something, he’s going to demand an explanation instead of brushing her worries off.
End.
Promtps: Jazz brings a date home for the first time. She didn’t exactly brief them on her family’s whole ghost thing. Antics ensue. All the Fentons are a bit more ghostly than they know The Phantom Clan (Dan, Dani, and Danny) is awake and about to make it everyone's problem Jazz has a reputation at college for being spooky, it doesn't help that she communes with ghosts. Uncanny valley is strong with Danny, most Amity Parkers don't realize it, but any time anyone from out of town sees him, they're in for a spook. Nocturne fucked up BIG TIME and now needs help from the ghost kid.
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