#//for ur spank bank

[mantis-a-shrimp]

Saw someone criticize porn on the grounds of it being “clearly some guy’s spank bank” and I have devastating news for them about the function of porn as a whole

[saatorus]

— freak like me ୨ৎ

based off of this post

wc — 2.8k

warnings — oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, genuinely just 2.8k words of filth bc i need satoru :3

Sometimes, you truly want to grab your husband by the shoulders and genuinely ask him what the hell is wrong with him.

In a purely cute, loving, wifey way, of course.

You had been lounging at home, listless but not tired, charged up but not in a productive way. The kind of restless where you start wiping already-clean counters just to burn energy. Or reorganizing your skincare drawer for the fourth time that week.

Your body felt hot under the skin, like something in you was coiled up and ready to snap. There was only one explanation for this kind of jittery, razor-sharp awareness running under your skin like a live wire. So, like any other normal person, you opened your period tracking app.

Yup. Ovulating.

Fantastic. That explained the horniness bordering on religious fervor. Everything in your body was screaming breed like it was written in your DNA. So, just like any other wife with the patience of a saint and the self-control of a demigod, you texted your husband Satoru at work.

You 12:47PM

hey u

quick q

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

answer is yes unless it’s illegal

You 12:48PM

r u busy or r u like pretend busy like usual

Husband (derogatory) 12:48PM

ur sounding like ur abt to ask me to pick up toilet paper and i hate that tone

what’s up

You 12:49PM

im ovulating

Husband (derogatory) 12:49PM

oh👀

ok. and?

You 12:49PM

so when u get home

ur not gonna get to say hi

or breathe

or take off ur shoes

i’m going to destroy you

like i actually might kill you with my pussy

Husband (derogatory) 12:50PM

😳

bold of u to assume i’d try to survive

You 12:50PM

bold of u to send me nothing spicy of u but be mean to me when u know i’m genuinely suffering and shit like omg

Husband (derogatory) 12:51PM

what do u want me to do??? send u a live feed of my cock at work???

do u want me to be on a list???

You 12:51PM

no but like

a lil thirst trap wouldn’t kill u

show me smth for the spank bank

Husband (derogatory) 12:52PM

u want a pic of my abs rn??

i got time

lemme hit my office for a sec

You 12:52PM

if u send me a pic right now i swear i’ll spontaneously combust

Husband (derogatory) 12:55PM

[1 image attached]

🥰

tell me i’m pretty

You 12:55PM

i hope u know this photo just signed ur death warrant

ur gonna be BURIED in me. like to the point where ur dick is like never getting out of me 

Husband (derogatory) 12:56PM

ok but like

worth it??

do i look hot

scale of 1 to rawdog me in the kitchen while the rice is still cooking

You 12:56PM

absolutely rawdog in the kitchen with zero regard for the rice

ur not even making it to the bedroom. my clit hard at dis 

Husband (derogatory) 12:57PM

god

i’m bricked up in front of principal yaga rn

i hope ur happy

You 12:57PM

good

suffer

consider it foreplay

You stared at the photo again. The audacity of this man to stand there with perfect abs, just barely flexed, pants sitting sinfully low on his hips like he knew the way your brain would short-circuit. The lighting in his office was stupidly flattering—somehow made his skin look so nice and delectable. Not to mention the veins going down to his cock?

You chewed on your lip, pacing the living room like a predator. There was simply no way you were surviving the next few hours. You even considered sending him a photo back—bait for bait, a little tit-for-tat—but decided against it. Let him suffer.

Let the anticipation kill him softly.

When he gets home? You’re not talking. You’re not greeting. You’re not doing anything except dragging him inside and absolutely sucking the soul out of the man you had ended up marrying.

–

It was exactly 6:02PM when you heard the door unlock.

Two minutes late. Not that you were keeping track or anything… except you definitely were, curled up on the couch in a barely-there pair of shorts and one of his old shirts with no bra underneath. Strategic slutty domesticity. A war tactic.

You didn’t even look up right away. Let the tension simmer. Let him walk in and realize what he’s just stepped into.

The door creaked open, followed by the soft jingle of his keys and the unmistakable shuffle of his slides hitting the entryway.

Then:

“I’m home—”

You were already standing in front of him before he could finish the sentence.

The look on his face was criminally satisfied. Like he knew he was walking into the lion’s den and brought himself as the offering. His blindfold was pooled around his neck– it was a habit for him to take it off at home. His white hair was a little tousled from the wind, and he had the audacity to be smiling.

“Hi, babe—”

You didn’t even let him finish his sentence. You fisted your hands in the front of his shirt and yanked him down into a kiss so hot it made your knees buckle. He groaned into your mouth, hands flying to your hips out of instinct.

“Jesus—” he panted against your lips, breath already shaky. “You weren’t joking.”

“I told you I was gonna ruin you,” you muttered, kissing down his jaw, “You think I just say things for fun?”

His laugh was breathless, cocky, but already crumbling. “You do, though.”

You reached between your bodies and palmed him through his pants. “Not today.”

Satoru hissed, bracing one hand against the wall. “Okay, wow. Hi. Hello. I see the demons are home.”

“You started it,” you said sweetly, unzipping his pants like you were opening a present. “Sending me that photo like I’m not clinically insane for you.”

“I was tryna be nice— shit—”

His sentence broke off into a groan as you sank to your knees right there in the hallway. He wasn’t even fully undressed, shirt still on, pants down just enough for you to get what you wanted. And what you wanted?

To suck his soul out like a Capri Sun.

You eagerly took him in your mouth, lips wrapping around him– absolutely no time for teasing– taking him as far as you could the moment he slipped into your mouth. You moaned at the taste of him, at the feeling of his prominent veins on your tongue, and the way that he just sat so hot and heavy in your mouth.

“Baby,” he rasped, one hand threading through your hair, the other gripping the wall so hard you swore it cracked a little. “Not— not even the bedroom?”

You hummed around him in response.

“Fuck—okay, okay—take everything. Take the whole paycheck.”

You didn’t let up—not even when his knees buckled, not when your nose repeatedly kept hitting the smattering of white hair above his base, not when his pink, throbbing tip kept hitting the back of your throat so good that your pussy felt like it was a puddle at this point, not when he was gasping out half-finished apologies to whatever god he believed in, not when he muttered something about filing for short-term disability because of "whatever the fuck this is."

He came so hard you were genuinely concerned for a second that his soul had actually left his body. Filled your throat with him, even. Like a capri sun. Man folded like an origami crane. Sagged against the wall with his shirt all rumpled, hair sticking to his forehead, and the most dazed, fucked-out look you’d ever seen on his stupidly pretty face.

You licked your lips and stood up slowly, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand like a villain in a K-drama. 

Satoru looked up at you like you were the Messiah and the apocalypse all in one.

“You’re insane,” he whispered, voice hoarse.

“You love it.”

“I do,” he breathed. “God, I really do. I’m in love with the devil.”

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him sweetly, gently, like you hadn’t just given him a religious experience with your mouth.

Then you whispered in his ear:

“Round two’s in the kitchen.”

He made a sound that was not human.

By the time he made it to the kitchen—pants back up but barely, shirt half-untucked like he just walked off a battlefield—he looked like he had one brain cell left, and it was begging for mercy.

You, however?

Unbothered. Glowing. A menace in tiny shorts and smug satisfaction.

You leaned against the counter, one leg crossed over the other, nursing a glass of water like you hadn’t just rearranged his internal organs. “I said round two in the kitchen,” you reminded him, sipping slowly. “You moving a little slow there, old man.”

He squinted at you, chest still rising and falling. “You’re trying to kill me.”

“Technically, I warned you.”

“You warned me via text,” he muttered, walking over with the exaggerated drag of a man heading into war. “There’s a difference between texting me you’re gonna ruin me and actually attempting a physical exorcism on my soul through my dick.”

You grinned. “Still had enough energy to come find me, though.”

“That’s because my penis is a traitor and doesn’t believe in self-preservation.”

“Your penis is smart. Your penis is loyal. Your penis knows who feeds it.”

You didn’t wait for a reply. You set the glass down with a click, reached for his collar, and pulled him in. “Bend me over the counter,” you whispered against his lips.

He choked.

Eyes wide. Pupils blown. Brain visibly buffering.

And then: obedience.

“I—yes. Okay. I mean—of course. Obviously.” He practically tossed your glass to the side and spun you around, hands already slipping under your shirt, finding your bare skin like he was made for it. His thumbs hooked underneath the waistband of your shorts, halting when he felt the smooth skin of your hip bones and not the waistband of your panties.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice wrecked. “No panties?”

“I was planning ahead,” you said, bending slightly and bracing your hands against the counter.

“God, I love you so much it actually hurts.” He kissed down the back of your neck, worshipful. “You’re unreal.” He slipped down your shorts, and then his already halfway down pants, aligning his tip with your soaking entrance.

Then he slid into you with a groan so filthy it echoed off the cabinets. You gasped, arching, clenching around him instinctively, and heard him let out a shaky laugh.

“This is a setup,” he whispered, biting your shoulder. “I feel like you’re doing this to steal my powers. Like I’m not gonna be able to use infinity after this.”

You couldn’t even form a reply—your mouth was open, moaning, hands scrabbling for purchase. He wasn’t going slow. Not anymore. Whatever restraint he had left burned off the moment he was inside you. It was fast, deep, messy. The kind of fucking that blurred your vision and made your toes curl.

Satoru’s fingers dug into your hips as he pounded into you, saying all kinds of nonsense against your skin:

“Been thinking about you all goddamn day—” “—knew I was in trouble when you said ovulating—” “—you were serious about the soul thing, huh? gonna baptize me in pussy—”

You half-laughed, half-cried out as he hit a spot that made your legs shake.

He reached around to rub tight, dirty circles on your clit, whispering, “C’mon, baby, let go for me, lemme feel it, wanna feel you lose your mind—fuck, please—”

And you did—with a broken moan and a full-body tremble that had your knees buckling, your body locking up so tight around him that he swore out loud, dropped his forehead to your shoulder, and followed you over the edge with a deep, shaky groan that sounded like it came from the depths.

The kitchen went quiet except for your breathing. The rice cooker beeped once, like it had seen things.

You both just stood there, still connected, sweaty, wrecked, in the soft afterglow of holy sin.

“…do we have any electrolytes?” he asked weakly.

You giggled. “Top shelf. Pedialyte in the purple bottle.”

“You’re a menace,” he said, pulling out slowly with a wince. “I’m not even mad. I’m just scared.”

You turned to face him, cupping his face and giving him the sweetest kiss imaginable. “You’ll live.”

He blinked. “Will I? Are you sure? Like… can I put you on my life insurance as both the cause and beneficiary of death?” Satoru was still recovering—barely holding himself up against the counter, forehead pressed to the cool surface, chest heaving like he’d just run a marathon while holding his breath.

You, on the other hand, were just sitting on the counter next to him sipping water like a perfectly reasonable, not at all deranged wife. Ignore the fact that his cum was steadily drying on your thighs after dripping out once he pulled out.

“So,” you said casually, like you weren’t actively naked in your own kitchen. “You think the rice is done?”

“Baby,” he said, voice hoarse, muffled, like he didn’t trust himself to lift his head. “Please. I don’t even remember my own name.”

You leaned over and patted his ass. “That’s okay. You don’t need a name. You just need to sit up on that counter for me.”

He groaned. “I need food. I need air. I need—what did I even do to deserve this?”

“You sent me a thirst trap.”

“You literally asked me for it,” he whined, straightening up slowly, eyes glassy.

You pushed off the counter—with a slight wobble—and before he could get another sarcastic word out, you moved away from from the counter in the middle of the kitchen, boosting yourself up onto the counter right next to the stove, legs spread, voice sugar-sweet.

“C’mere.”

He blinked. “Oh my god. Are you gonna ride me next to the soy sauce?”

“Would you prefer the spice cabinet?”

He didn’t even hesitate. “Spice cabinet.”

—

Somehow, somehow, you ended up on the higher shelf. Not the safe little cozy edge of the island—no. You were straddling him on the counter in the corner by the window, legs draped around his thighs, knee bumping the pepper grinder, and he looked like he was going to have a nervous breakdown about how hot it was.

Satoru kissed you like a man possessed—hands on your thighs, holding you open for him, still too breathless from the last round to be cocky but desperate enough not to care.

“I don’t have anything left,” he whispered into your mouth. “You’ve drained me. I’m just a shell of a man now.”

“Then let me fill you back up,” you said, not even remotely sorry.

“Do you even hear yourself—holy shit—”

You’d sunk down onto him again, slow and deep, pulling a moan out of him so loud it had no business being that pretty. His head dropped to your shoulder as you started riding him, deliberately slow this time, grinding in small, agonizing circles.

“I’m gonna pass out,” he whispered. “You’re gonna have to call Shoko and be like, ‘Hi, I murdered my husband with pussy and now he’s trapped in the rice cooker, can you help me scrape him out?’”

You leaned in close, teeth grazing his ear.  “She’d say ‘finally.’”

His hands flew to your hips, grip bruising, and he started moving with you, fucking up into you like he’d found his second wind in the middle of his own funeral.

The countertop creaked under you. The spice jars rattled. A cinnamon container fell off the shelf at one point and he caught it one-handed without breaking rhythm, then threw it over his shoulder like an anime protagonist mid-battle.

“Why is this the best sex of my life—” he gasped, eyes wild.

“Because I’m ovulating and mad,” you panted, nails digging into his back. “Because you purposely sent me your cum-worthy abs.”

“So my ballsack is being drained because of some muscles on my abdomen?—”

“You don’t get it—”

And then you came together in the middle of the kitchen like two idiots in heat, clinging to each other, half-screaming into each other’s skin like the world was ending. Which, in a way, it was. Your knees were shaking. His hands wouldn’t stop twitching. 

The counter was definitely never going to recover.

And when it was over, when the both of you were breathless and sweaty and completely unhinged, he looked at you—kiss-bitten, flushed, utterly destroyed—and whispered:

“I don’t think I can eat rice ever again.”

being a virgin and ovulating is not for the weak 🙁🙁🙁

[vee-dmsr]

hi miss vee, i saw in your tags a while back that you were raised catholic and something about sexual guilt (either your own or being into that for a character i can’t recall) and i was also raised catholic and i think i am also into a little sexual guilt? once i was watching porn and was pleasantly surprised when one of them apologized to their partner for something (i replayed that part until i came) 🥴 i also def have mommy issues and love it when my gf is dominant but that’s a whole other ask i could send lmao

i generally have a lot of guilt and shame (thanks catholicism) and i do carry a lot of shame for my sexual interests, specifically the aforementioned interests. i want to be as accepting of my Freak Side as you are, hopefully someday ill achieve it

yes anon i was raised catholic! i went to catechism class and attended mass every sunday when i was young. didn't really retain anything tho LOL (sure would have come in handy when i was reading the locked tomb series). i often day dreamed during mass and wrote gay fanfic in my head. i was a horny perverted teen but still dealt with occasional bouts of guilt. i remember one time when it was bad i deleted all the gay porn off my pc that i had torrented [devasted] i still remember one in particular that had scenes that are STILL in my spank bank to this very day AUGH. i also remember feeling a wave of guilt when i started drawing nsfw art and posting it on twitter 🙈 i also blame my catholic guilt for the reason i didn't even entertain the thought of finding women sexually attractive until i was in my late 20s. i went from calling myself straight to straight-ish to finally accepting im bi right at the start of the pandemic.

i do find it BONKERS HOT when characters experience sexual guilt. and anything that mixes catholic imagery with sexual imagery makes my dick insanely hard.

i think as u get older u will naturally get more comfortable with ur freak side. i feel like I've successfully eradicated any lingering catholic guilt i may have had. i also think perhaps it was easier for me since ive been a freak since i was a teen and my parents, while being religious, weren't like... crazy religious if u know what i mean?

but yeah, anytime u get hit with shame u just gotta tell urself it's okay. u might sound like a broken record but just keep it up and eventually you'll get over it. we only get one life to live, u MUST let ur freak flag fly 🫵🏼🫵🏼🫵🏼

[yawnderu]

are we allowed to share nsfw links?!?!? heheheh 😈❤️‍🔥

https://twitter.com/sexarchiv/status/1732327021319958574?t=dfYhSFAGA7jazq7akltmQg&s=19

⬆️ whenever i see this it makes me very, very h0rny... i wanna eat his d1ck, sorry... :3

https://twitter.com/kelsy/status/1731708304806555788?t=xUbJkzDhMqsCUte51UWXmA&s=19

⬆️ other fav video 🥵🤤

massive fan of u guys shamelessly sending me ur spank bank

THE SECOND ONE HELLOOOO?? Simon does that, I was there actually. he did it to me

[fatherbrat]

atsumu comments “putting this in the spank bank” under ur ig pics

[stillmadaboutpetra]

dont be alarmed if u cant find a fic of mine. ive put most of them into a private collection for the next year for reasons. sorry if u lost ur spank bank material xx

[grossillygirl]

I just think it's interesting how even after all this time the idea of someone using you like that is still able to get you excited; you're not to blame, but it's cute that your cunt craves the kind of attention that comes from someone sneaking in to use you as a sex doll; also, are you typing with one hand rn? 🤭

🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠 STOP anon ur like hitting the nail on the head woth these and its making me so horny😭 i won't be able to masturbate tonight chs im severely sleep deprived butum these asks r defo going in the spank bank ill say that mucb

[ssa-dado]

okay maybe (definitely) tmi but this is also kinda ur fault for making me think of this, but i got a new vibrator and tell me why all I can think about is fleabag!reader and Aaron using the vibrator he saw her buy ON her and being mean about as revenge for making him cum in his pants... I'M SORRY IT'S TMI BUT I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE, YOU'VE CURSED ME 💀🪦 but new spank bank material i guess 🥵🥵

Here’s a Concerned Dad™ look for you because how dare you buy yourself such a devilish machine??? (Kidding. Obviously. This was just an excuse to share these two photos. He looks so concerned. I’m obsessed.)

Okay. Okayyyyyyy. Back to the real stuff.

Not to be against him, but that was entirely his fault for creaming his pants. He could’ve said something. (Once again: communication is important, Aaron.) So if he’s out for revenge now, he’s not entitled to any. That said, if he’s just pretending it’s about revenge when actually he wants to use them too, and he’s just too repressed to admit it (Christian guilt? Sexual repression? Whatever is his problem?)... then honestly? That’s fine. That’s hot. We stan.

+10,000 points to men who embrace technological progress in the bedroom

[acynicalsweetheart]

i can imagine getting caught lezzing out with one of leawn’s (girl) friends & instead of being mad he finds it hot. ur friends with my older brother.. omg cool … if he dated ashley im stealing her from him sorry not sorry .. then he’d walk in on us making out & be into it rather than mad. homoerotic friendship with ashley & he isn’t even hurt by it he just jerks off to it and ‘accidentally’ walks in it one day. kawaii. or meeting claire & getting on a little too well with her and he’d ask if we were lesbians & add that image to his incestual spank bank .. ughh i want sleazy older brother leawwnnn so bad nobody hit me up i need him .. dating girls that look like his sister and bringing them around the house & realizing they look like you 😭 yummy.. & yes ur right prissy upper class curly-cest .. LMAO i love it. jimmy who probably hits me during arguments but he apologizes with noncon and i don’t do anything about it because i have stockholm syndrome or something like that

- 🧸

omg can’t even remember what’s the context LMFAO but that is so very real.. big bro leon’s a pervert and depraved porn categories connoisseur . and i love ashley ugh. once read ashley x older leon x reader threesome where reader was jealous bc he was paying more attention to her LOL. i think he should be the one getting cucked tbh. KAWAII. ok hello yes i do think he purposely date girls who look like you and then very inconspicuously fucks them in plain sight just to make you jealous.. catch is that it works.. idk why curlycest is frying me

[celestie0]

THE NEW GOJO FIC I LOVE I LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEE!!! ur so incredibly talented n sweet n smart n sexy n we love uuuu😭✊💗

bruh, as usual he’s just so annoying n off putting ugh. (i need to fuck him)

ellie, u have never ever missed with these JUST TOO GOOD!!!! i havent been on here for so long n coming back to see ur fic the first thing was so nice🤧

I hope ur having an amazing day 🤧🫶

zuro anon

HIIII zuro babyyy omg thanks my love :”) omg no u are sweet m sexy n all the aboves!!

pls you’re so right i cannot seem to stop writing annoying n off putting satoru xd idk sumn ab being put in place by a man u think is annoying is soooo ☹️☹️ top fantasy in the spank bank fosho

thnks so much for reading darlinggg i hope you’re doing well too n take it easy 🥺💕 mama ellie loves u

[freedomfireflies]

beyond obsessed with ur new one shot having H as an ACTUAL dom not just spank and bank😭😭😭 u wrote him so well!!!!! would def love to see more

YOU ARE AN ANGEL HELLO??? I adore you so much thank you endlessly for reading and taking the time to send me this hehe I HOPE YOURE WELL BB 💞

[nerdlvr]

hehe tysm for the comforting words it actually made me smile a bit 🤭

honestly all this has been happening for a while but it js hits different when it’s shown directly in front of u despite knowing everything if ykwim

ALSO did i mention that i also hit my head on a shovel?!?!?! 🙁

that also happened when i was lowkey crying around my parents i was like at least if they ask me i can say it’s bc my head hurt 😭

no but like fr idk but where i hit my head felt so tight like when i clenched my teeth it hurt more and i couldn’t even get an ice pack but whatever im fine now lets js hope im not dumber than i originally was !

anywhoooo so now im watching nct edits and content especially vlogs bc they heal me 🤭

anyways to end this on a more positive note jaehyuns lemonade intro at the concert when he popped up on the screen had me squirting everywhere like why isn’t he here to sing his lines like i feel so betrayed rn 😔😩💦

-🍑 anon

peachy babe im so sorry but how the hell do you hit ur head on a damn shovel!

seeing the constant change of vibe in this message that shovel did a number on u babe pls rest up and feel better (lemonade jaehyun is #1 in my spank bank)

[theuniverseawakens347]

2016.. after or during make up school the summer after college …or when I was 23.. lee let’s talk about you faking CAMERON AN 18 yr old girl ON KIK … we talked but who else did you fake - there wasn’t really much that I talked too but India to Tristan … posing as Wilkerson lee garlington … sending underage nudes but striking a very blazay convo… then RANDOM NUDE … then I ask “ how old are you” she says 18.. but looks waaaay younger in her photos … so I said “ shawty I’m good” and then there goes the NONSTOP TIL BLOCK SENDING OF NUDES and “ I’ll report you to the police if you don’t talk to me”… THATS WEIRD BC YOU SENT UR NUDES AND AGE AFTER AND I TOLD YOU TO STOP AND YOU KEPT GOING - IM THE RAPE VICTIM BEING RESPONSIBLE…. It also IN HINDSIGHT I DONT KNOW YO AGE .. - ME POSTING MY ID NOW TO PROVE IM 30 HOW MANY TIMES LEE BC YOU STILL W INIDA PIMPING MY YOUNG PHOTOS … IAN MCDOWELL TO SAY IM IN PSYCHOSIS TO SUE LADP N THE WHITE HOUSE.

you fucking idiot - UR CREW ALREADY TRIED THIS DUMB SHIT W MY MOM N YXOU FAKING TRISTAN RECENTLY TO TALK W UNDERAGE GIRLS BUT ITS YOU IAN ALISSA DYME TAYLOR JAS OF LILY MOM DOING THE TEXTING AND SENDING PHOTOS - NICE KIDDIE PORN STASH SPANK BANK.

[ludwigfootfan]

ur a fucking sicko freak ❤️❤️❤️

daww thanks haha really it's just that gamer boys have always had a soft spot in my spank bank <<<333

[acynicalsweetheart]

starting a family with curly sighs dreamily. ur right i can totally see him being a family guy. you get married & the first thing he’s doing on ur wedding night is trying for a baby .. probs the type to guilt trip you into having another one. cuz omg it needs a sibling .. you don’t want the kid to be lonely .. (or not so secretly finds you being pregnant a total spank-bank image) omg i know im rambling. but i think he’d make pretty babies & be a good father. (in this context, not yours 😭😭😭) nooo curly don’t go on that ship stay with me .. the kids miss you .. AHAHAHGHGH

ur right jimmy would dip asap not even gonna pay child support & would definitely act like he doesn’t know you

- 🧸

family guy made me LOL… and yes definitely curly is all ab breeding like he needs 15 babies and he needs them NOW. he’s horny like a rabbit. ugh mini baby curlies i cannttytrrt they r so cute like huge baby blues. fatty babies. i want to dress them up so bad. i think he’s also very into femininity and like what is more feminine than being pregnant. and what is sexier than knowing that HE is the one that put that baby in there. i would like to think he’d retire from his pony express job to father ur children… just ends up settling for like an office job or something..

[rickybowen]

someone really sent a 5 paragraph review in of my o/s, criticizing all the things that are “wildly inaccurate” as if i care??? like??? yes its about football no i dont have one shoved up my ass so sorry a piece of fiction was inaccurate but like untangle ur dick