#//despite it being summer i am still apparently never free LMAO | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

folkloreguk · 3 years ago

Text

🍒Cherry Ice Cream (2)🍒

A/N: Part two is here! There won't be another one after this. I just wanted to split it into two little scenarios with one being cute and the other not so cute lmao...I hope you enjoy - as always I appreciate feedback a lot!

taglist: @lovely-ateez

genre: smut, optional bias (m) x reader (f), lifeguard!au, pool sex, unprotected sex

words: 3.4 k

PART 1 (fluff, both parts can be read independently)

It was the middle of the summer holidays and you had never been happier. Sunny weather, swimming, lots of free time and as much ice cream as you wanted were only a few of the reasons for your luck. The main cause was the boy of your dreams. A few weeks ago, you had met. It had been the most chaotic, embarrassing day at the public swimming pool – or so you had initially thought. Turns out being a walking disaster could not only attract negative attention. When the otherworldly handsome and kind lifeguard had pulled your clumsy figure out of the water and even bought you ice cream to make you feel better, you had a feeling things were about to change. And you hadn’t been wrong. Maybe you were seeing things through rose-colored glasses and a mix of lovestruck hormones, but you suspected he might just really be this great.

Ever since your first ice cream date, the two of you had been inseparable. Looks were one thing – and you had made yourself aware that though he was a picture of perfection, he could still have turned out to not be your type at all. But the inside reflected on his outside. Every day you found out a new enrapturing detail about him. He was a never-ending book that you were utterly unwilling to put back down.

Your days were spent at the public swimming pool, watching your lifeguard boyfriend do his job and questioning if this was all some sort of hidden camera prank. During his break he came running straight to your spot under the trees and plopped down on your towel, ready to spend the most time with you until he had to go back. Although your streak of bad luck was over, he still took care of you and made sure you were okay in the heat. He reminded you to drink enough water and sent you a good morning text every day. When he had first asked you to help him put sunscreen on his shoulders, you had hesitated with cheeks hotter than the sunlight that day. Now it was a daily thing, and sometimes when his hands were on your back, rubbing in the lotion, you caught yourself wishing there weren’t a hundred families around you. But it was hard scoring alone time with him at the pool. Even later at night, right before closing time, there were always one or two diehard swimming fans there.

“I love watching my cute girlfriend swim,” he would keep telling you.

“You better make sure you’re paying attention to the rest of the visitors, too,” you would reply, but secretly love his flirty remarks. Perhaps he wasn’t even so far off. After your first encounter, it was apparent that maybe you were the one guest who didneed the closest monitoring. Even his co-workers knew of you. They had made it their life mission to remind him daily how whipped he was for you, but he never cared about their teasing.

At night, you rode your bikes home. Towards the candy cotton clouds on the horizon, through the small suburb, you rode side by side, still damp hair flowing in the wind. Outside your home he cupped your face then, the sun kissed skin of his hands still warm to the touch. Like he was the slowly setting sun himself, he kissed you goodnight. You were addicted to his lips. He made you fly, brought back all your fondest memories as if he himself was in them, and let you forget every worry you’ve ever had in the world.

One evening at the pool, you lay on your bathmat, headphones in your ears and your favorite summer playlist taking you to another world. Suddenly, two hands grabbed you by the shoulders. You jerked up in surprise.

“Oh my god, we could have hit our heads together!” you scolded your boyfriend, who was smiling at you like an innocent five-year old.

“Guess what. My boss just told me that I can close the place up tonight. You know what that means, right?” he said.

“Tell me more,” you smirked.

“Technically, we can stay here however long we want. And do whatever we want. As long as no one finds out,” he whispered the last part into your ear. Chills ran up your spine despite the heat in the air.

“Do whatever we want, huh?” you said. “I thought you were being a model employee?”

“I am,” he shrugged with his child-like smile. “And the model employee needs to go back to work now. I have a reputation to uphold. You’ll be waiting for me, right?”

“Of course,” you nodded, watching his figure as he jogged back to his seat by the pool. The next hours seemed to go by extra-slowly, to your dismay. After his announcement, you only found yourself staring in his direction more than on any other day. Truly, you could never get used to his handsomeness. You thought of his voice that made you melt like ice and his hands when he kissed you. Too often they remained in innocent, safe territory. Maybe that was about to change. It was a Friday, meaning the opening hours were longer than usual. By 10 pm however, even the last person had left. The public swimming pool was closed. Officially.

You had to admit, you could get used to having an enormous swimming pool all to yourself. Blissfully, you dived through the water, not having to worry about crashing into anybody’s legs or losing track of your surroundings. You had always felt as though swimming was a little like flying. Not that you knew what flying would be like. But if you had to make a guess, feeling weightless and small in a seemingly endless space probably came close. All your life, it had remained the same. Playing pretend in the water, acting like a mermaid scavenging for the most precious treasure of the seven seas – all your loveliest ideas lingered in your memory like it had been yesterday.

The pool had a shallow end, about the depth which allowed your head to reach above the surface, and progressively deepened towards the other end. You took a gulp of air and descended into the darkness. Taking long strokes, you dived towards the white light at the wall of the shallower pool end. With the brightness ahead of you, you failed to notice the shadow behind you.

As you were in the process of coming up from the water, a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around you. For the second time that day, you jolted in surprise and quickly gasped for air.

“You scared me out of my wits! Will you stop that!” you said, but you were already smiling. It was hard to carry grudges against the boy behind you. Not when he held your waist and rested his chin on your bare shoulder, grinning as if it was a crime to even suspect him of such things.

“Hi, there,” he said and pecked your cheek sweetly. “I missed you.”

“So did I,” you admitted. Only months ago, you had made fun of how lovestruck your friend had been. You weren’t one to speak now. His hands let go of you while you turned your body to face him. Then they were on you again, and although it was a small touch, your lack of clothes created a tension between you right away.

“Wanna race me?” he whispered into your ear, as if there was anyone around to listen in. Was he serious? Did he really think you wanted him to let go of you now? His voice on your neck rendered you wanting him so bad, you had to take a deep breath to compose yourself.

“I’ve been swimming all day,” you said. “Besides, didn’t you say we could do whatever we wanted? We can swim whenever we want, during opening hours.”

“Oh, sounds like you have better plans?” he asked. For a moment, he touched your forehead with his. If you bent forward slightly, you could have kissed him. His hungry eyes were on your lips when you had finished the thought.

“I was thinking you could kiss me, for starters?” you coaxed him. He chuckled.

“So you’ve been thinking about it too, the past few hours,” he realized. “You know, I was trying to be subtle about it.”

“Forget about being subtle,” you said. “Let’s just make out, please?”

“I’d like nothing better than that,” he smiled, and then your mouths touched. His gentle lips tasted faintly of chlorine and salt, a taste you had come to associate with him and magnificent things. You held his face in your hands tightly and pushed your body against him yearningly. Reacting, he sighed and deepened the kiss. His wandering hands found the small of your backside as you arched your back into his frame. You hummed quietly, hands burying in his wet hair and playing with it at the nape of his neck.

All your childhood you had been searching for your treasure under the water. Now you understood. He was right there in front of you. Little you would be proud you had found someone this precious and incomparable. And hot.

“Jump,” he said. You did as he suggested and wrapped your legs around his waist. The proximity of his body made your heart hammer against your ribcage with such feverishness, you worried it might jump through your chest. With the way he touched every curve of your body, you almost forgot how to kiss. Luckily, your instincts did the job for you as you sipped on his lips and sighed every so often. He caught your bottom lip between his teeth, and you felt his smirk when you moaned in surprise. Every inch of your skin burned with desire for him.

As he carried you over to the side of the pool, you pulled away shortly. You took the liberty to attack his neck with frenzied kisses. It felt just as you had imagined a thousand times. You couldn’t possibly recount all the instances when you had found yourself staring at his neck and shoulders in the past weeks. He was easily the biggest distraction you had ever known. But it wasn’t your fault his tanned skin was so inviting and his strong presence ever so alluring. Returning his teasing, you bit into his shoulder, kissing and sucking on it right after.

“Fuck, baby,” he said in a throaty tone. “You’re amazing.”

Softly, he rubbed his nose against yours before your lips locked again. The kiss was all but soft. Your tongues meddled as if you were starved people and you could barely keep your hands in one place. Not that you would want to. You wanted to glue his hands onto your body or better yet handcuff him to your wrists. What was the opposite of a restraining order called? You were about to invent a word for it. Never before had you been so intoxicated, so in ecstasy with another person.

He pulled aside the fabric of your top momentarily and cupped your breasts in his hands. You gasped and melted into his touch and the way he played with your nipples. He attacked your neck in kisses and you shut your eyes, enjoying the sensation of his lips.

“I really want you.” He had his hands on your ass and all you could think about was the growing bulge in his swimming shorts. Your hard nipples rubbed against his chest, the thin fabric of your swim top doing little to nothing to separate your bodies. How could somebody’s whole existence be so titillating? He pulled away, just far enough to speak but barely. “I’ve wanted you like this for a while. But I didn’t want to unsettle you by making you think I just want sex from you. Truth is, I don’t want you to be just some summer romance, Y/N. Every day I hope you’ll still be here when summer is over.”

“Why would you think I’m going anywhere?” you asked. “You’re the reason I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I ask myself every day how I managed to end up with you in the first place.”

“That’s easy. First, threaten to demolish the turnstile with your stubbornness, second, offer your head to a bunch of kids with a water ball, third, square up against a bug in front of a hundred people, fourth- “

“Okay! Enough,” you said. “Don’t bring up my clumsiness. That’s just about the least sexy thing in the world.”

“Baby, I think there’s nothing not sexy about you,” he spoke. He kissed you deeply and all your embarrassing memories vanished at once. “So, you’re cool with this?”

His sudden change in tone caused your breath to hitch in your throat, as his hands lingered by your hips, just above your bikini bottom. You only nodded, the motion getting more eager as the words sunk in. He slid his fingers along the inside of your thigh, and you squirmed under his touch in desperation. Swiftly, he pushed aside the material above your center. His digits slid through your wetness, catching the nub between them, and rubbing ever so slowly. An overwhelmed gasp spilled over your lips, and you closed your eyelids.

“Fuck- ,“ you muttered under your breath. He teased your core, nearly sliding his finger into you, but then pulling away to find your nub to toy with.

“You look so beautiful,” he said. At his words, you looked at him through fluttering eyelids. He was one to talk about beauty. The luminescence from underwater sharpened his features, and his eyes had something magical, something enchanting about them. Like he could have you – or anyone – without saying a word. He reminded you of a merman, or rather a siren. Ready to drag you along with him, deep under the surface. And you were so willing to let it happen. For all you knew, you were long lost and under his spell anyway.

“Have you ever done it in public?” he asked. You were too distracted by his fingers on you at first, head hanging back in ecstasy, until you snapped out of it.

“No, but – fuck – I guess I can strike that one off my sex bucket list after tonight, can’t I?” you said.

“You have a sex bucket list? Interesting, tell me more about it,” he smirked. His eyes darkened and his tongue licked over his lips once. As if on command, his lazy ministrations on you quickened, rubbing your clit in small, circular motions until you were a moaning, stammering mess. You suspected he did so just to see your immediate reaction, and you gave him just what he wanted.

“Can we postpone the – the talking…on later?” you murmured, feeling like collapsing against his broad shoulders. “I’m kind of too busy to – to talk.”

“I can see that,” he teased you, kissing you gently. The delicacy of his lips only made your head spin more. “You’re so sweet, baby.”

“Don’t you want to get busy too?” you asked. You reached for his swimming trunks and wrapped your hand around his hard member through the material. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”

“Shit- me too.” His arousal echoed in his moans, and he sucked in a breath. There was a sense of power in knowing you could make him react so gravely by doing so little. You tugged on his trunks and pulled them down a little to reveal his full length. Palming him, you felt how painfully hard he must have been for a while now. He groaned and it was the best thing you had ever heard. Eagerly, you slid your bikini bottom off and watched for a moment as it sunk down into the depths of the pool. Your legs wrapped around his waist again as he aligned his cock with your core.

At this point you supposed you were both out of words. Hunger had taken over and you barely managed to form a sentence. He kissed you and you hummed and nodded, wanting him to know you were ready. Easily, he entered you and you whimpered at the way he stretched your velvet walls after all the wait. Your senses were overcome with everything around you. The warm water enveloping the both of you, the soft summer breeze caressing your faces, his hands on your hips as he guided your body into his thrusts and the sound of your breathless moans and sighs – it was pure bliss. Night had almost fallen, with the sky being a deep blue, almost black by now. It was a perfect setting for a perfect night with your favorite person.

You gazed into his dilated pupils and the coil in your stomach tightened in the most delicious way possible. Now you recounted a myriad of dreams you’d seen him in. Not always, but occasionally he showed up in your dirtiest of dreams, with his gorgeous, addictive smile and strong arms. But now he was right there, in front of you – inside of you – and you apprehended how weak your boldest imaginations had been. Your nails dug into the skin of his shoulders as you clenched around his cock. He moaned your name huskily and it only clouded your head further.

It was crazy how loving a person could magnify everything. Even with closed eyes, the mere idea of him fucking you, at night in a public pool, could beat every single other experience you’d ever had. You felt like you were blessed with the audience with a god. A god, who had manifested on earth only to scoop you up and show you the finest things in life. You definitely couldn’t think of a finer thing than his cock dragging through your walls, hitting your g-spot repeatedly, while he had you cased against the pool tiles. Moans and little whimpers fell from your lips, and you were glad there wasn’t a single soul close by who could have heard.

He was jaw-dropping. With the way he pounded into you hard, using the poolside wall as support on your back, you felt your head spin as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your skin seemed to prickle wherever he touched you and you pushed your chest against his. Just a little closer, you told yourself, even though you were running out of space already. It was body against body while he whispered naughty things into your ears, telling you how incredible you felt, how lucky he had gotten with you and how sexy he found you.

“You’re the fucking best I’ve ever had, baby,” he said. His teeth grazed your neck as he kissed your sensitive skin messily. You could have counted every single drop of water hanging from the strands of his hair and adorning his face. Could have taken notice of every single eyelash and even the tiniest speckles of color in his irises. But you could barely command your eyes to stay open.

“So- close,” you said. In your ecstasy, you clawed at his back as another wave of pleasure went through your entire body.

“Together, hm?” he said, lips brushing over your cheek with every thrust. You hummed and nodded, as he picked up his thrusts to a toe-curling speed. With every touch of your sweet spot, you felt reality slip away a little further, and you were doing nothing to fight it. You invited the feeling in, resting your forehead against his, breaths coming out in short puffs. And then it overcame you. Your orgasm jolted through you like electricity, and you clung to him as if you might have sunken otherwise. It made your shared moans high pitched, and he followed you, pulling you into his arms like it was alone you who was keeping him afloat.

The splashing of the water softened as he drew out your highs for as long as possible with slower thrusts. Eventually, he halted completely. He cradled your face in his hands and when you finally opened your tired eyes, he was watching you with full adoration. His charming smile caused an eruption of butterflies in your stomach. This was only the beginning of your time together, yet you could barely fathom your fortune. And as it seemed, this time fate was on your side.

472 notes · View notes

tezzbot · 3 years ago

Text

applejack headcanons in a sort of timeline i have in my head based on the flashbacks/statements in the show lol this is gonna get long i apologise

aj is born in the sweet apple acres barn to bright mac and pear butter :D

we get the apple family reunion episode flashback where she is lichrally baby asking for apple fritters 🥺

she grows up a bit, just by family gene pool luck shes a strong little fucker and as she grows her family realises she's not just physically strong but strong willed too, it becomes a running joke that shes secretly part mule with how stubborn she can be :P

bright mac had a dog from when he was younger that he loved with all his heart, big mac loved him too but applejack thought was a grumpy old lump of a beast she just Did Not Like This Animal you know how kids can be lmaooo

applejack and big mac dont really leave the farm all that much, theyre homeschooled by their parents and granny smith so, generally they dont have that many friends their age in their childhood, they say hi and play a bit with fillies and colts they pass while helping out with deliveries, aj and rarity possibly have a few interactions through this but nothing really sticks at this point, they know each others names and thats probably it, the apple siblings are a big hit with usual customer and ponies who sell them things in the market

pear butter teaches aj how to play the guitar and she practices until her hooves hurt, her ma is very proud of her, they like to play duets when they have some alone time :] then, deciding to branch out from that applejack also picks up other instruments like the banjo and the fiddle, they find out she has quite a knack for music! (applejack is only slightly disappointed she doesnt get her cutie mark from it, but unlike applebloom would be in the future, she doesnt mind all that much, after all granny smith always said it'd come with time 😌)

not long after little applebloom is born we get the great seedling episode flashback which is a turning point in applejack, a moment like finding out santa or the tooth fairy isnt real, she matures a little bit that day, gains more of the work ethic we see in her as an adult

around this time is when bright mac and pear butter die :( i dont have a concrete headcanon on How they die but the dangerous trade routes the apples have to take to make deliveries may have had something to do with it, or maybe they were trying to protect the farm from something coming from the everfree forest, im not sure

the rest of the apple family make their way to sweet apple acres to give their condolences and help out in any way they can around the farm while our apples grieve :( its sad but it brings aj and big mac closer than they'd ever been

after shes recovered a little from that, i think aj kind of loses herself, i mean how can you not after losing both parents :(( so she decides to leave the farm in the hopes she'll be able to find herself again in manehattan, this is the cutie mark chronicles flashback and where she realises she belongs in ponyville, Runs home and gets her cutiemark

after a little bit, to help her become a little bit more social with foals her age, applejack goes to camp friendship where she meets little coloratura and the two Immediately click, aj gives her new best friend the nickname rara and they're practically inseparable the whole summer, their friendship starts to grow into something more but rara is heading back to manehatten after camp and applejack belongs back in ponyville, so they decide to give a lonb distance relationship a try, they manage to exchange letters back and forth for a long time, ultimately deciding a long distance relationship wasnt gonna work so they mutually decide to break up but still stay pen pals! after a while, the letters stop and they become just a memory in one anothers minds

sweet apple acres eventually returns to a business as usual state, with groups of relatives stopping by the farm now and again to give a helping hoof considering its now run by a late-middle aged lady, two children and a baby lol, applejack, while still doing a lot of tree bucking, is starting to take on a more maternal figure role in applebloom's life as well as being her sister, her and big mac feels more responsible and protective of the foal since she would be growing up with no ma and pa, they sort of took on those roles, applejack more intensely i guess i just see her as having strong maternal instincts embedded in her or something lol, but she for sure isnt "single mom"ing it, with granny smith and other relatives ready to take the little bugger when aj needs to get stuff done :P it takes a village and all that lmao

since at this time aj and big mac are starting to go into town more often and are free to do as they please as long as their chores get done, they start actually interacting more with teens their age in ponyville! applejack starts hanging out with fillies like rarity who she had known in passing but now could finally get to know and the cake's new apprentice and ponyvilles youngest party planner, pinkie pie

after starting to hit some awkward growth spurts as she reaches her teens lol, she starts taking an interest in the business side of the farmwork too, dealings with customers, looking into trade routes stuff like that, this is when the where the apple lies flashback takes place i fuckin love that episode please watch it, and this starts applejack's lifelong promise to never lie ever again which she keeps bc shes a legend as fuck <3

one day aj notices cloudsdale passing through probably to start preparing ponyville for the next season, and she hears a Thud coming from a row or two over from where she's working, she goes over to investigate to find a pegasus filly shaking off what aj can only assume was a crash, she asks if shes alright, n the filly is like of course i am im so tough toughest around actually thanks<3 and aj is internally like hm. this kids kinda annoying. they introduce themselves and applejack finds out rainbow dash is looking for her friend fluttershy, she likes to come down from cloudsdale to play with animals or something, but applejack hasnt seen any yellow pegasi fillies around so the little blue filly says thanks anyway and zips off at what aj can only describe as probably the speed of light, she somehow has a strange feeling this isnt gonna be the last she sees of this kid

she turns out to be right when shes invited to a happy visit to ponyville from cloudsdale party thrown for rainbow and fluttershy, apparently rainbow had bumped into pinkie while asking around ponyville for any idea where fluttershy and of course pinkie Had to make an event out of it once she had helped rainbow find her friend, the party was of course a lot of fun rainbow and aj somehow managed to turn every party game into a competition and despite their first impressions of one another they actually got along really well and gained a good amount of respect for each other, aj eventually found fluttershy sort of hiding away from most of the party and fluttershy actually opened up a little after talking with aj bc of how calming her presence was for her

over the next few years the five got to know each other quite well, anytime cloudsdale passed by rainbow and fluttershy would drop into ponyville to hang out or just say hi, and once they were old enough they moved into their ponyville houses and the five of them became just a regular friend group youd see hanging out on the streets of ponyville, fluttershy helps aj pick out a border collie puppy for help with wrangling critters on the farm (applebloom was getting too old to be sent off to mindlessly run after little animals all the time and she had started going to school so she wasnt around as much lmaoo) and just as a companion for applejack, she names her Winona :]

and then after those few years Twilight shows up! you know the rest from there :P

if i missed anything uhhh whoops<3 lol

#mlp #mlp applejack #tezztalks #mlp headcanons #might make more of these idk tho #block that tag if u dont wanna see em BDNVD #the hc tag i mean

119 notes · View notes

likeholymary · 4 years ago

Text

— untitled i.

playlist | masterlist

summary: once dear friends in college, obi-wan and (y/n) have bumped into each other in the capitol city of coruscant while both working there. will they rekindle their old romance from their college years, or will they remain as passing faces in each other’s lives? takes place in college years and 10+ years after.

a/n: ANGST. ANGST. ANGST. i didn’t mean to make it so angst but HOT DANG, here it is! also, try to think of coruscant like washington, d.c. also twin suns is definitely like a hybrid of starbucks and rain forest café, i don’t make the rules here, my crackhead brain does. basically rain forest café vibes but make it tatooine, and it’s a coffeehouse not a restaurant, lmao. also no warnings!

word count: 2.2k words

present.

The Twin Suns Coffee Bar was calling your name. While a multinational chain of coffeehouses, you couldn’t deny the desperate need for some caf and perhaps a small pastry on your way to work. Besides, the Twin Suns never failed to remind you of your home back in Tattooine, with its warm aesthetics and familiar scents, it was without a doubt your favorite coffeehouse to go to anywhere you went.

You smoothed your cream-colored blazer out some more as you entered into the bar, taking in the deep scents of the multiple different roasts, the sweet aroma of freshly made caramel and fluffy, buttery pastries just waiting to be devoured, the warmth of the orange and yellow lamps.

It was heavenly.

Twin Suns was different because they made each coffeehouse feel as if you were stepping into Tatooine. Covered with muted pink and burnt orange walls, black ceilings, and dark wooden countertops and tables decorated with small green plants like cactuses and succulents, it was truly a delight. The only difference, you and Anakin would joke, was that it was never dry like Tatooine, but rather moist like a rainforest.

Thinking of Anakin, you remembered that you had dinner with him, Padmé, Ahsoka, and the twins tonight. Fishing out your phone from your leather ‘mom purse’, as Ahsoka would say, you rapidly typed up a text to your group chat, just checking in that your plans were still on for the night.

You knew how busy Anakin and Padmé could be, especially with Anakin back to work as an aerospace engineer after having been a stay-at-home dad, while Padmé worked almost religiously as a congresswoman.

And you?

Well, you enjoyed working as a journalist for The Coruscant Times, the nations most trusted newspaper. You didn’t always work in the office, in fact, for many years you were the best field journalist. You loved your time there, but if there was ever hope of you having a social life, or Maker-forbid, a family, than you needed to settle down and begin your career in the office.

There were days where you ached just to get back out there and be with the people, but now you wrote as a columnist, commenting on a range of content, from the political ongoings of the world to the hottest new restaurants in capitol.

You were too busy texting Anakin something quippy in response to your ‘mom behavior’ (where did he and Ahsoka pick that up from?), when you bumped into the person ahead of you. At the sound of his deep voice, you froze, slowly looking up into those deep cerulean eyes, and, knowing in that moment, that you were in trouble.

“I should have known I would have bumped into you here.”

At the mention of Anakin’s roommate, you remembered he hadn’t introduced you yet. In fact, this was the first time you hadn’t heard about Obi-Wan Kenobi since Anakin had come home for the summer, before you two returned together to get you moved into the freshmen dorms.

Anakin and his elusive roommate had apparently gotten into a lot of trouble during their freshmen year together, constantly causing something around campus. Her favorite story was how they had accidentally started a campus protest when Obi-Wan and Anakin were joking about droid rights, which led to them personally asking droids around campus if they wanted to be free. Other students picked up on it, taking it much more seriously than anything Anakin could, and well... you get the picture.

Chuckling lightly to yourself as you both treaded the sidewalk headed for his townhouse, you asked, “Obi-Wan a big reader?”, to which Anakin groaned, “The biggest reader. There’s books everywhere around our place. It’s hard not to bump into his stacks.”

“His stacks?”

“Just you wait.” He darkly chuckled as he flipped through his keys before finding the right one and unlocking the door.

Anakin wasn’t lying.

Books were stacked in every corner, pressed against the side tables by the couches, even tiny hidden stacks had snuck their way underneath the tables, and even smaller ones underneath the couch itself, thin little books in small stacks lined together.

“Anakin! For kriffsake, could you for once in your life clean up your dishes when you make—“

The voice carrying itself through the house came through the hall to the right of the kitchen, before coming through and appearing as a tall man.

This was no boy, and there was no way this could be Anakin’s friend.

Six feet tall, this Obi-Wan was beautiful. His golden auburn locks were a bit messy, but he quickly brushed his fingers through them smoothing them out and at the same time making himself look even more attractive. You couldn’t help but be captivated by his cerulean eyes that were being pierced by the sunlight pouring through the window in their living area.

“Oh, this must be your friend, (Y/N), correct?” You blinked a few times before reaching out your hand to shake his outstretched one. You swallowed down you anxiety and nodded your head, attempting a smile, but you were sure you were failing miserably.

“Yes, and you’re the infamous Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

He grinned wildly, a glimmer of some cheeky nature apparent in his eyes and you couldn’t help but think that he would be some kind of trouble in your life.

present.

“It is lovely to see you, darling.”

The statement almost made your knees falter, and in another time him calling you ‘darling’ would have made you weak in the knees, but that was a lifetime you tried to forget, lest you get lost once more in the memories.

“I didn’t think I would ever see you back here.” You had crossed your arms at this point, attempting to throw up some guard. Don’t get in my head, don’t get in my head. Focus, you’re literally just here for a cup of coffee, get on with this awkward conversation with the man you were formerly, emphasis on formerly, in love with.

He didn’t seem fazed by your blunt statement, instead moving forward in the line, his eyes beckoning for you to follow. You stepped forward but tried to inch away from him as much as possible while still staying in line. Your eyes flicked to the barista at the register, as if willing her to take orders faster, wishing you could just get out of here.

Why had he come back? What was he doing here? The last you had heard of him had been while he was stationed in Mandalore, he had a girlfriend, some former classmate of Padmé’s, Satine...

He hadn’t even bothered to tell you. Instead you had found out from Anakin after the twins were born and you came to meet the two newborns.

You thought he would have told you, after all, you two had started off as friends.

“I was asked to come work at the University at their research facility.”

Of course he had.

Obi-Wan had always wanted to be a research scientist and make new discoveries about the world, which you supposed was largely due to his adventurous nature. He had graduated with his degree in biochemical engineering, with a masters in biology and clinical research (again, as stated, he was a nerd).

It was why he had so many books around his and Anakin’s apartment, and at one point, your apartment. You almost missed bumping into all those stacks of books every morning on your way to making your coffee.

“Well then I suppose you must be headed to work.”

“Yes, I am.” “Well, I am too, and I’m running late, so could you order already?”

You snapped, motioning to the barista whose register was now open.

The barista looked just as uncomfortable as you felt about your small outburst, but you just wanted to get out of there. You couldn’t think and it felt hard to breathe, despite you wearing your comfortable slacks that were never too tight, but right in this moment, they felt like they were binding you together, making it impossible to take a singular breath.

Obi-Wan stepped forward, just as calm and cool as ever, which only aggravated you more, and ordered a Nitro Cold Brew, before paying and walking to the pick-up area. How he could just so casually walk back into your life, as if he hadn’t broken you completely, his memory continually taking a pick and hammering new cracks into you here and there when you remembered something as simple as his smile, or heard your song on the radio, remembered him singing you to sleep or while you danced in the kitchen together....

“Ma’am, can I take your order?” “Yes yes, I’m so sorry...”

You quickly ordered your usual, the Twin Suns Double Shot on Ice with white mocha sauce added in. As you went to pay, the barista shyly told you that the man in front of you had already paid for your drink. Of course he had. So, in apology for your outburst, you fished a 10 dollar bill out of your purse and put it in the tip jar. You wished the barista a nice day, and moved on to the waiting area, tapping your foot as you stood and watched the other baristas speedily making their customers drinks.

“Still ordering the same thing I see. You haven’t changed a bit.” Obi-Wan said from behind you, and you could just hear the smirk in his voice.

You didn’t turn around. “Well you certainly have changed, Obi-Wan.”

The ambience around you was fuzzy - crowded voices chattering, a couple laughing to themselves in the corner, looking much like a young you and Obi. The thought stung painfully, and you tried not to show any emotion, but it was so hard not to when you felt every single one. New feelings, old emotions, a blur between what had past and what was going on right now, in this moment.

“How so?”

Despite being shorter than him, you turned you gaze upwards sharply, your eyes not wavering despite wanting to get lost in his stormy-sea-like ones.

“I once thought Obi-Wan Kenobi considered me a friend, a confidant, but I was mistaken. I thought you cared about me, cared enough to treat me at least decently, but I suppose I was wrong.” You bit your lip, trying desperately not to think about the memory of the night you broke up.

“I thought we could carry on as friends, but I suppose once you were done with me you were done. And now?” His eyes flickered with hurt, but you could tell he wasn’t trying to defend himself, but instead was trying to devote every attention to you.

“Now you try to act as if we are still friends. And that’s something I know will never happen again.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, but the barista called out your orders, foiling any chance he had to explain or defend himself.

You stepped in front of him, going to grab your drink, not even turning around to look back at him as you opened the door and walked away.

“(Y/N)! Wait!”

Obi-Wan was running towards you, despite trying to navigate through the crowds of people and all while trying to not spill his own cup of coffee on himself. You didn’t bother to stop. You needed to get to work, and more importantly, you needed to process the wild morning you had just had, hoping you could still stomach your favorite coffee with the bundle of nerves blazing harshly in your middle.

“(Y/N), please-” He had grabbed your wrist, trying to get you to stop, but this only infuriated you more.

“Obi-Wan, can’t you see I am not interested in hearing whatever sob story you have? You are the one who broke up with me. You are the one who left and didn’t dare look back at the consequences.”

Once again you were forced to bite your lip, willing the tears attempting to build up to break themselves back down. You would not give him any more tears, not a single one. At least... not in front of him. You made a mental note to call Padmé during lunch for a brief therapy session.

“And these are the consequences. Goodbye.”

You left Obi-Wan standing in the crowd, not daring to look back and see those eyes, those eyes that could capture you once more and then leave you just as quickly as they had come and graced you.

51 notes · View notes

xxrat--punkxx · 4 years ago

Text

JUMPING ON THIS BAND WAGGON

Ok here’s my 2020, tw//mentions of suicide and abuse

(Strong start lmao) 2020 sucked ass lemmi tell ya. This year was a fucking train wreck from the start, ur hay I got character development so who cares. Well let’s start with a review, bad things first.

Yall remember when everyone was scared shields of COVID?. Lol. But that’s stating the obvious. When we went into lockdown I was first like fuck yeah summer lol, but then the threat of ‘staying home for the rest of the year’ set in, bing in my first year of sixth form I really understand the stakes of exams next year. So having to stay home for the rest of the year freaked me the fuck out. I literally couldent cope, having to do all classes online was fucking hell, they were never zoom classes either, just ‘lmao do the work and hand it in’ which was near impossible for me. I was also in the constant ‘oh no I’m so stressed but I will do NOTHING about this lmao~’. As the days turned to weeks and inevitably MONTHS, my mental health said buckle up bitches. Days were spent sitting in my room on my phone doing NOTHING, meanwhile this perpetual notion of stress played in my head yet there I sat not having the will or motion to move.

Then my parents got involved. Now THATS when shit went from pretty crummy to awful, now I was living with them constantly I was able to see who they really were with no real filter. And oh god do I have issues, I didn’t even fucking know. Every day was an argument, my mom was the worst, the MANIPULATION, the constant ‘you're tearing this family apart’ or ‘so I’m the problem?’ Or the fucking indecent playing the victim. And I all only just realised, that they have been doing this ALL MY LIFE. Dad got involved but he was just physically violent, only twice tho. The worst part was my work, admittedly yes, I didn’t do everything I was given, but I tried, I really did with what little motivation I had. But with just one ‘oh your daughter hasn’t handed in this work’ I was a ‘lazy, good for nothing failure’ to quote ‘who will never go anywhere in life’ so I’d spend the rest of the day crying while they play the victim bury saupying I was abusing their love and just using them for money. But the next day be like ‘oh I’m so proud of you you're doing so well’ having that statement being completely unrelated to the previous events. This was constant. So that’s that story. I won’t talk much about Black Lives Matter because we all know about how that went. But it really affected me, I found myself crying over the victims multiple times. And the lack of support for the movement my peers or family showed made it fucking worse. Crying was a common occurrence for me now, mental health really taking a nosedive, being too scared to call myself ‘depressed’ or ‘mentally ill’ to any extent because I know I’m faking it and just want validation. That was also constant. Fun times huh.

BUT IT GETS WORSE 🥲, then I had to go back to school, awful to fucking abhorrent now. Year two of sixth form fun right? Sure, if u take away the ‘no free time period’ or the wanting to kill mystery for literally a whole 3 weeks. That was my lowest peak. Ever. I’ve never wanted to kill myself before then, don’t like that feeling. Shocker huh. That mixed with the constant anxiety of nothing is right anymore and also needing to succeed at school all made one healthy dose of ‘.exe has stopped working’ juice. Yet I played the fool, acting happy as if nothing had happened, or was happening at least, and venting by imagining scenes in my head with fictional characters lmao. Telling myself ’u can’t kill yourself because u don’t deserve too and ur just asking for attraction’. Then midterms happened blah blah blah, stress but I’m numb to it now that whole story.

But that’s not to say there wasn’t a silver lining.

Onto the good things finally, yes the year was probably one of the worst years I’ve been through in my life it did not go without its positives. For example early this year I got into borderlands properly, I finally explored the fandom and had a look at what it was like. Albeit a slow process considering I was still predominantly on Instagram at the time, and finding a community of a fandom on there is impossible. I started browsing Pinterest or the Internet for images that would link to my favourite characters, Who were to no ones surprise is the calypso twins. Pinterest led me to artworks and artworks led me to the infamous Lazulizard. Who I cherish all my being. Three weeks later after looking at her entire tumblr blog and stalking her of pretty much all her content (sorry for that by the way) I found border-spam. By this point I didn’t have tumblr and I had no intention of getting it seeing as an ongoing war I’ve had with myself since 2012, declaring I will be the bigger man and never get tumblr, which in hindsight was an awful mindset. Seeing as tumblr is probably one of my favourite places on Earth right now. But after also stalking border spams account, again sorry, and starving her of any content she’d ever posted. I was happy that this fandom although as niche as it is was actually getting content. At the time spam and lazu were absolute gods to me. Being the sole producer of a fandom I probably wasn’t even in properly, having both impeccable writing and impeccable art like good God. I would often think ‘wow wouldn’t it be incredible if I actually got to talk to them one day’, now look at me I’m doing commissions for both of them good God. And to be short joining tumblr felt like a fever dream and it’s probably the greatest thing I could’ve done this year, my parents are wrong, talking to strangers is amazing.

Something notable of mention this year as I actually got to figure out who I am as a person, I was able to find my own style and to find my interests, specifically in what I liked in terms of clothing. I thought I was LOL 2012 goth hipster but no apparently I’m manic Pixie dream girl. Going from pink is the ugliest colour in the world to having it be the only colour I will ever wear. I made some pretty big choices this year like cutting pretty much all of my hair off and dying it for the first time. Thanks strict parents for only letting me do that one now. But like I said I went to a character Ark and you know what I like it. I also played BioShock fallout and horizon zero dawn for the first time this year starting to really feel like a proper epic gamer, good lord kill me, and falling in love with all of them almost immediately. I also figured out on a plant mum and I’m into vulture culture although my parents have to disagree with that one. Asking to buy an Horse and fox skull somehow scared them a little bit can’t seem to figure out why lmao.

So a conclusion, Fuck you 2020 you made me miss two comic cons and I will never forgive you for that shit I am SO mad. But I will give you the benefit of the doubt you did make me meet some absolutely incredible people who I consider my friends, despite going against every single Internet safety law I was ever taught as a child. But you know what who gives a flying shit I love you guys. So that’s what I wanted to say. I want to say thank you to everyone on here and everyone is following me or even interacted me with on that matter. You mean the world to me and I really fucking mean it. Are you going to be nothing but amazing ever since I walked onto this fucking hell hole. And what I go through all of this bullshit again if it means I ended up here? You know what I think I just might. So again I thank you and I hope your year didn’t go as badly as mine, and fuck it bring on whatever the fucks next!

Honourable mention of this year was The time Elisa actually complimented me and I cried a little bit and had a panic attack but you know that’s for another day

🥺💕

24 notes · View notes

lyssala · 5 years ago

Text

Day 7 - Flower Shop

Paring: Terra/Aqua & Zack/Aerith, Kingdom Hearts

Setting: Modern Setting; Recently post college age

Rating: K+

Words: 10654

Notes: I actually really love this one. I had a lot of fun playing with flower meanings and also just had so much fun with their dynamic in this fic! Flower Shop is one of those cliché tropes so I had to give it to the babes hahaha Also I wrote this fic a bit ago and only recently played Crisis Core, so I’m currently thanking my past self for giving my current self some sweet Zack and Aerith fluff when I need it more LMAO

As always @mimiplaysgames is the best, who pinpointed a weakness in the storyline effectively and helped me make the whole thing stronger and who always, always encourages me. Seriously, you guys wouldn’t have read this far without her cause I wouldn’t have written this far without her. I hope you all know how much I appreciate her and how honored I am to work with her, because you’re gonna know for the next twenty or so chapters too <3 <3

AO3

My Heart Was Wrapped up in Clovers

Inspired By: Call Me Irresponsible (Michael Bublé), At Last (Etta James), Save the Dance for Me (Michael Bublé)

If there was one nice thing about working in a florist’s shop, it was that everything smelt beautiful. Those sweet and fresh aromas of flowers in their peak never got old to Aqua. The small store was always bright and colorful between the flowers out on display for people to create their own arraignments, the premade bouquets wrapped up waiting to be given to a loved one, the baskets with greenery poking up hanging over from hooks in the ceiling, the coolers surrounded by even more greenery which sat off to the side waiting for their owners to pick up custom orders; everything bright and beautiful. Sometimes it was even a little hard to navigate between the wooden tables and crates all around the room, overflowing with any type of floral display you could want. But if the Gainsborough’s knew anything, it was flowers.

Aqua hummed as she leaned over the main counter, fingers fiddling with wrapping some twine around a wire. Despite being the beginning of spring season, which also meant the beginning of prom and wedding seasons, it was a fairly slow morning. She reached down to grab one of the single flowers she spread out in front of her, snipping the stem low enough so it would sit on the wire crown well enough. Usually the shop only made flower crowns as custom orders, as there was no way to keep the flowers from wilting but she had happened to walk by the discarded flower bin this morning to see some beautiful blues and whites to be thrown away. What could she say? She was inspired.

Also it was ten in the morning and she only had two customers for the past three hours.

She wrapped the stem with some floral tape before covering it with more twine to match the sections of the crown she finished; which wasn’t much, but it was tedious process. She figured she could wear it till it wilted and promote their services to any customers. It also made time go by while Aerith was busy filling an order in the backroom.

While it was still a job, and it was customer service which was frustrating at times (she was also sure she had permanent scars from thorns, missed scissor cuts, and wrapping paper), it was still a place she enjoyed working. She loved taking care of their flowers, being able to create, and making so many people’s every day or special occasions beautiful, both the exciting ones and the sad ones. It was rewarding in its own way.

She snipped another stem, adding it next to the blue one she already used to make the color more vibrant. Aqua admittedly wasn’t a master at arraignments like Aerith and her mother, were but they often told Aqua she had a good eye so she’d take it. She was learning a trade most people didn’t even know they needed until the time demanded it.

The bell rang, making her look up from tying the twine. Sometimes it was just people coming in to look around, sometimes people who knew exactly what they wanted and sometimes, a lot of times, it was confused looking men and women who had no idea what sort of flowers they needed for their occasion.

“Good morning, Cloud,” she said with a smile, placing the crown down on the counter.

The blond wasn’t exactly a regular to buy flowers, but he was Aerith’s fiancé’s best friend so Aqua knew him fairly well now in the least. Judging by the looking in his eyes, he was falling in the last category of customers today.

“How can I help you?”

He hesitated, blue eyes darting around the room as he approached the counter. “I need flowers,” he said blandly, like there was any other reason he’d come to a florist but that was Cloud.

“Well, lucky for you we have them,” she chuckled but his expression didn’t change. Okay, apparently not in a joking mood today. “What’s the occasion?”

Cloud reached a hand up to the back of his neck, looking either embarrassed or nervous, Aqua couldn’t quite tell. “Do you have flowers for telling your pregnant wife sorry for making her cry when you accidentally bought strawberry ice cream when she asked for chocolate chip cookie dough?”

Aqua tried to cover her mouth to hide the snort of laughter but considering Cloud didn’t look all that reassured she figured she didn’t do a good job. “I know I work here, but you realize you can just buy Tifa the right ice cream right?”

“Well, yeah,” he said, dropping his hands to his sides almost in defeat. “I’m going to but she cried almost all night and I felt…really bad.”

“I got it,” she said, moving away from the counter. Tifa and Aerith were close friends so Aqua knew the black haired woman well enough to know she was always smiling, always calm. “We just got these in,” Aqua said, reaching to one of the vases full of bright, yellow flowers.

“Sunflower,” Cloud said in acknowledgement.

Aqua nodded, holding the stem so she could brush by the soft pedals. “One of its meanings is adoration, which is clearly how you feel if you’re picking her a flower over ice cream, but it’s also almost impossible not to think of the sun and warm summer days. I bet it’ll make her smile.”

He thought for a moment but nodded. “Okay, yeah, I like it.”

“Good,” she said with a smile. He was a friend sure, but she always liked when customers actually liked her suggestions. “Just the one or would you like me to make a bouquet for her?”

“A bouquet if you don’t mind,” he said.

“Not at all.” She turned to gather a few more of the flowers; they were already fairly large so she didn’t need too many. Aqua moved back to the counter to go through the steps of trimming, tying, wrapping in matching colors before shifting to ring Cloud up.

After a few beeps she passed him the flowers which he delicately took like it was precious cargo (he was going to be a good dad). “Thanks, Aqua,” he said, his own unique smile on his face as he started to leave.

“My pleasure. Let me know how she likes it!”

He turned to wave before heading to the door.

“Get the right ice cream this time too!”

If Cloud heard her, he ignored her.

Aqua chuckled to herself as she picked her flower crown back up. Maybe she should go check on Aerith; she was probably fine, just absorbed in her creative process. She was creating samples to show a bride and Aqua very well knew depending on the bride it could go very well or very bad. Aerith was probably making some backups just in case.

Aqua barely got another flower taped onto the wire before the bell dinged again. Well, at least if it got busy, time would go by a little faster. She looked up, ready to greet her next costumer but instead she saw the familiar shade of a white apron, some casualties of the kitchen smeared across it. Usual black pants and white shirt were under it, hands fiddling near the apron pocket, blue eyes glancing around the room and messy hair that was free of a hair net which also wasn’t unusual as she knew he hated it.

“Terra Hale,” she said with a smile, ignoring the sudden flip in her stomach at seeing him walk into the store. It wasn’t terribly uncommon as he only worked next door but at the same time she hadn’t been expecting to see him this early. She didn’t put her crown down as she started wrapping more of the twine. “Are you sneaking off from work?”

Terra raised a hand to his chest, pointing his finger at himself. “Me? I don’t know how you could ever think that.”

“Because it’s about to be lunch rush at the restaurant and you should be there prepping but you’re standing in my flower shop instead.”

He shrugged, stopping at the counter as he placed his hands up on the surface. “I am here on business.”

“What kind of business would that be?”

He tapped his fingers on the counter. “You haven’t put in a lunch order yet. If you wait too long it’ll take forever for us to get to it.”

Aqua hummed as she grabbed another flower, cutting the stem before looking back up at him. “Maybe I was eating lunch somewhere else today.”

“Were you?”

It was hard to tell when he smiled at first. Aqua never even really noticed the first few times he delivered when she started working here, as he always seemed stone faced, intimidating in a way; though that could’ve been due to his height and stature too. The more she saw him though, the more she saw the way his smile would pull at the sides of his lips when he said hello or goodbye, when he’d let her know which order was which, and eventually when he’d delay going back to work to talk to her like now.

“Maybe,” she said, looking back down so she could tape the flower in place. “I hear that McDonalds down the street is superb.”

“Are you seriously comparing freshly prepared and cooked meals to…” Terra paused for a second, arching his eyebrow. “McDonalds?”

She probably could’ve teased him a little longer, but the laughter that bubbled up uncontrollably gave her away. “Okay, fair, you guys do have the best food in town.”

He propped his elbow up on the counter, leaning over to put his chin in his hand. It was a fairly wide countertop so it could be used as a work area; he wasn’t even really in her space but she still started to find it a little hard to breathe. Even more so when a bigger smile pulled at his lips, which she found was her favorite to see. It was harder to come by with him, but when he did it lit up his whole face, especially his eyes and the dimples on his cheeks were easier to see.

She glanced down at the crown in her hands, seeing she completely wound the twine wrong. Luckily no one else was in the store because he was sort of a distraction every time he stopped by. Aqua went to quickly undo what she had done, hoping he hadn’t noticed.

“I can’t promise our French fries aren’t quite as addicting,” he said, though he rolled his eyes slightly. “But I’ll make you whatever you want.”

“I don’t have a menu handy,” she said, trying to focus on the crown again, mainly so she could keep some sense of herself and not turn into a giggling teenage girl when she was much older than that. “Tell me what’s good today.”

“Doesn’t really matter,” he shrugged. “I can make you something that’s not on the menu too.”

“Really? Can you do that?” Aqua trimmed the next flower stem as she spoke but she was genuinely curious. Working in a restaurant wasn’t something she ever did, and she never really thought about if cooks could make things off the menu.

“Sure,” he said, smile still on his lips which was highly distracting. “As long as we have the ingredients and I know how to make it, doesn’t matter too much if it’s on the menu or not.”

“Would you get in trouble?”

“No,” Terra snorted. “No one would care. Besides the boss is off catering a party today. Even if he would care, which he wouldn’t, he likes you.”

The menu was just fine really; they honestly did have great food. The restaurant was in Cid’s family for a long time, they had the recipes down to perfection. At the same time though, the thought of having something special made for her made her chest feel light and also made her stomach growl a little.

“In that case then…” She paused, trying to think of something she never had there before. “Grilled cheese.”

“I give you a run of the kitchen, and you ask for grilled cheese?”

“Like fancy grilled cheese, not just cheese on it.”

He laughed, using his hand to gesture for her to go on. “Like…”

“I don’t know,” she said, a smile pulling at her lips. “You’re the chef, you decide.”

He arched his eyebrows but it seemed more in amusement than anything. “You sure?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, carefully ripping the floral tape so she didn’t mess it up again while he was watching her. “You know what I like, I trust you.”

“Alright, I’ll bring it over when it’s done. Tell Aerith I’ll bring her usual too.”

“Will do,” she said, adding the twine over the tape. “I’m sure she’ll appreciate it, she’s been working in the back room since opening.”

Terra glanced down at the flowers she was working with, like he hadn’t noticed it before. “That’ll be pretty.”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” she said with a shrug. “Found them lying around in the discard pile, and I thought I’d give them a new life.”

He didn’t say anything for a moment but reached down to pick up one of the lighter blue flowers. “Try this one next?”

It was obvious he was a little unsure if that was the right thing to say but it was sweet, and pretty cute. “I think so too,” she said, reaching out to take the flower from him. “You’ve got a good eye, too. You wanna work here part time?”

Terra snorted as he pushed himself off the counter. “I’ll leave that to you. See you in a little bit.”

“Bye,” she said, waving slightly as he turned to wave back before heading out the door, the bell dinging and leaving her in silence once more. Aqua sighed as she reached up to touch the petals of the flower he handed her. It was pretty; it would make a nice next addition.

“Can you two please just get a room?”

Aqua fumbled the flower in surprise, reaching to grab it before it hit the counter. She quickly turned to see Aerith spraying some water on some of the hanging plants by the back door.

“Aerith,” Aqua breathed. “When did you finish the bouquets?” Which sounded better than “how long have you been standing there?”.

Aerith turned her head, a usual knowing smile on her lips. “A few minutes ago, not that either of you noticed.”

“He just came by to ask what we wanted for lunch,” Aqua said, trimming the stem down of the flower she still had in her hand.

“Yes, because that’s exactly what it looked like.”

Aqua decided that didn’t need a response as she wrapped the flower in floral tape, the only other sounds in the store being the light music, the chimes blowing in the wind outside, and Aerith’s water bottle as she moved to the next plant. Aqua grabbed the twine, wrapping over the tape; she was almost halfway done now at least.

“How did the bouquets go?” she asked, a relevant way to change the topic.

“Oh, very well, at least I think so. We’ll see what kind of bride she is when she comes in later today.”

“You’re perfect with wedding arraignments, I’m sure it’ll be just fine.”

Aerith hummed as she turned her head back to Aqua. “Tell that to the one girl who threw the flowers back at my head.”

“That did not happen,” Aqua laughed, grabbing another white flower to add to her other one.

“Oh, believe me, it did.” Aerith delicately moved a few leaves on one of the nearby plants. “People can get crazy about their wedding day.”

“Not you though, I’m sure.”

“I don’t need to be,” she chuckled. “I’ve got all my flowers because I can do it here, catering deal next door, my grandma is doing alterations on my dress, most laid back fiancé there ever has been. Easy, peasy.”

“You promise you won’t throw flowers at me then?”

“I trust you to help me with my flowers just fine, so no, I won’t,” Aerith said with a laugh.

Aqua smiled as she grabbed another flower to trim. “That was actually so sweet.”

“What about you? Ever want to get married?” Aerith was near the front of the store now, but it was such a small space it wasn’t hard to hear or see her.

“Someday probably.” Aqua carefully wrapped more floral tape. “If I ever meet the right person.”

“Huh, funny.”

“What is it?” She didn’t bother to look up as she worked on more twine. How much time had gone by?

“I happen to know a nice guy. Cute, kind, pretty eyes, good with his hands, even better with food, works next door.”

Aqua glanced up to see Aerith grinning as she sprayed the plants up front.

“What? Did you really think I was going to let it go easily?”

“I should’ve known better honestly.”

“That you should’ve.” Aerith seemed like she was about to say something else but the bell rang over the door. She turned to greet the customers and Aqua breathed a small sigh of relief as she focused herself back on the crown; if Aerith needed help she’d say, but she usually didn’t.

It wasn’t like Aqua didn’t know. She didn’t need to be teased like she was in middle school to know when she had feelings for someone. She was even fairly sure her feelings were reciprocated but at the same time that’s what scared her. It was a fairly…long time since she was in a relationship with anyone; she usually kept herself too busy for anything like it even if she missed the companionship sometimes. So here was this kind, attractive guy who gave her special treatment at the restaurant and gave her rides home sometimes, and was really cute, did she mention that already? And she didn’t know what to do.

She’d be lying if she said she never thought about it before; especially after long days, finally being able to sit down in his car, listening to the low hum of his voice against the radio, wondering how it would feel if she just asked him to stay for a little bit. At the same time she also couldn’t shake the fact of what would happen if something went wrong. They didn’t work at the same place but because of a partnership Aerith’s mom had with Cid, people who catered and bought flowers from both places got a deal. They often ended up at events together setting up. Aqua would never want to have awkward feelings with him or anyone else on either staff. Well, that was if something went wrong. It could otherwise be perfect, wonderful, everything she wanted.

But she had rushed in before.

Aqua could be a romantic, she knew it; she tried to be a rational person at all times but there was something about the romance of things she just fell for. She enjoyed working with flowers because of the language they spoke, what they could tell people without words. She liked Terra because he was so sweet. He gave her special treatment at the restaurant, and his dimples showed when he smiled. Yet she also liked her ex because he knew how to lace words together in the most charming way, until that went all wrong. She also liked her ex before that because he surprised her with gifts and dinners and treats, until that went all wrong. She even liked her high school boyfriend because he was the only one who gave her chocolate on Valentine’s Day, and that went really wrong. The charm, the romance, she fell for it and so far it hadn’t worked out so great. Still, it also didn’t feel right to punish her feelings and potentially Terra’s feelings for things a bunch of guys who probably weren’t right for her anyways did ages ago.

So the circle started over again. Overthinking things was sort of her specialty.

She sighed as she tried to keep her focus on the flowers in her hands instead. It was easy here at least, surrounded by such beauty all the time. It was hard not to feel at peace here, even if customers weren’t always kind about suggestions, or apparently throw flowers at your head. Most of the time, like earlier with Cloud, she got the chance to brighten someone’s day and that made her feel a lot better about just about everything.

Aqua wasn’t quite sure how much time went by until she finished the crown since after she rang up Aerith’s customers. The bride came in with her maid of honor to see the flowers and Aerith took them in the back. It couldn’t have been too long, but Aqua still felt some pride as she dropped the completed piece on her head. She peeked in the nearby mirror they kept up and was glad to see it seemed to look pretty good too. There, she wasted nothing and could promote their products at the same time.

The bell rang.

She moved to greet the customer but the beautiful aroma of fresh food hit her first. Her stomach growled even just from the smell. “Oh, am I happy to see you again.”

“You know,” Terra snorted as he made his way up to the counter, white plastic bag in his hand. “I get that a lot.”

“Can’t imagine why.”

He placed the bag on the counter, which still had remnants of Aqua’s project on. “Top one is yours, bottom is Aerith’s, who has been busy since I haven’t seen her at all today.”

“Wedding clients,” Aqua said, reaching below for her purse.

Terra let out a low whistle. “It is that season isn’t it.”

“Yeah, ready for all those fancy event set ups?”

“Oh, yeah, love getting yelled at by the mother of the bride for placing the pasta too close to the macaroni and cheese.”

“Just wait till you have the maid of honor throw a fit that her flowers are saggy compared to the other bridesmaids. How much do I owe you?” Aqua asked, flipping open her wallet.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, gently tapping the top of the container. “On the house.”

“Terra,” she said. “Cid will probably kill you if you keep giving us free lunch.”

“I’ll just volunteer for the next wedding,” he shrugged, slowly walked backwards to the door. “But he will probably kill me if I’m not back soon, busy day.”

“Well, thank you,” she said, unable to bite back a smile.

“Hey,” he gestured to the top of his head. “Your crown came out nice, it’s really pretty.”

Aqua reached a hand up to her head, feeling the soft flowers. “I’ll make you one next, how’s that?”

“Sounds like a deal.” He waved as he pushed the door open with his back, disappearing beyond the store front.

She sighed again, but this time from contentment. She knew she would be lying if she didn’t say seeing him might be the highlight of her day. She was also really hungry. Aqua peeked in the box that had her custom meal in, and couldn’t hide her grin.

She didn’t even need to take a bite to know it was perfect.

Aqua didn’t admittedly see herself working for a florist when she graduated college, but jobs weren’t easy to come by in the least and between working in the shop, as well as working on location for parties and weddings, it paid enough for her to keep up with the bills. She’d take what she could get.

She ended up loving it more than she thought she would too. The atmosphere, the type of work, and of course the company too. Aerith and her mother was lovely people, neither of whom were pushovers in the least, as well as the part time employees who worked here too. They were mostly high school kids getting their first jobs, but they were a sweet group.

It was a slow day and it was getting slower by the second, the more times Aqua looked up at the clock overhead. Kairi was fixing a display in the storefront but otherwise it was quiet. Mrs. Gainsborough was running late coming back from on location consultation, and since Aqua had no plans unlike Aerith did tonight, Aqua offered to stay. Kairi was in the process of being trained to be a closer so Mrs. Gainsborough didn’t have to work every night. Kairi probably could’ve handled being alone for a little bit but Aqua didn’t want her to feel uncomfortable or to have something come up.

It wasn’t really a big deal, all she would do was go home to wear pajamas and binge TV shows till she fell asleep.

She tried not to yawn as she looked up at the clock again; it was just after five in the afternoon which was an hour after she usually left work. Slow days dragged enough as it was, let alone slow long days. Business was picking up but it was coming in spurts, at least until everyone realized spring was right around the corner and people started freaking out that they needed to get on their planning.

“How does this look?” Kairi asked taking a step back from her display.

“Very pretty,” Aqua said. “I love the colors you picked.”

“I thought it said ‘Don’t worry, spring is almost here. It’ll stop being so dreary and cold soon’.”

“I think you get your point across very well,” Aqua smiled. “I do hope you’re right. Someone should tell the weather that a little sunshine never hurt anyone.”

Kairi reached for the front pocket of her apron. “Is it okay if I take a picture of it?”

“Be my guest, it would be a shame not to show off your hard work.”

The redhead grinned as she pulled out her phone, backing up till she could get the whole display in.

The bell dinged and on reflex Aqua stopped slouching over the counter. She hoped it was the familiar face of Aerith’s mom but it was woman Aqua didn’t know, a customer. Kairi was already on it, slipping her phone away and moving to greet the woman happily.

Even though Aqua offered to stay she still felt the sting of disappointment that seemed to be following her every time the door opened today. All day, every ding of the bell made her happy only to be replaced with a sinking feeling when it wasn’t brown hair and blue eyes, wearing a white apron and always smelling like some sort of food. It was more than likely Terra’s day off; he was human, he needed them too. Or he was working a party and just wasn’t onsite at the restaurant. It’s not like she didn’t understand, she loved her days off, she bet he did too but it did make work drag so much longer when she didn’t see him.

Aqua contemplated asking Cid, who came in to give them lunch whenever Terra didn’t, but she figured Cid either would ask her why she cared or tell Terra the girl from the florist shop was being nosey; both those options seemed a little too embarrassing for her to go through with it. She wanted to validate herself and say there was nothing to be embarrassed about, her and Terra were friends, they saw each other almost every day for months now; okay so maybe the extent of hanging out when not at work was just the few minutes in his car but work friends in the least. Aqua knew there was nothing to justify though. Seeing him made the day so much better, it was simple as that.

The bell rang again but this time it was the customer leaving.

“Couldn’t help them?” Aqua asked as Kairi walked up to the counter.

“Actually, she said she really liked our set up and she wanted to come back when she had more time. She’s planning a birthday party for her mom. So I went over the basics with her.”

“Well done,” Aqua nodded. “I’m sure we’ll be getting busy again real soon.”

“Man, I hope so. It just drags when it’s slow,” Kairi sighed, sitting herself up on one of the stools set by the counter. Mrs. Gainsborough never minded if they sat down and talked as long as work was done and customers were treated first.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

Kairi sighed. “Any events we’re planning for?”

“Weddings and more weddings coming up soon, but in the upcoming weekends I think there’s an anniversary party we’ll be setting up for. Tifa’s baby shower even though she doesn’t know it. Prom will be here before you know it too.” Aqua paused looking over to the younger girl. “Do you have your dress yet?”

“Aqua,” Kairi whined slightly, face turning a little red.

“Why so embarrassed? It’s fun. You should see all the girls who come in here all excited to get a flower for their date.”

Kairi fiddled with her fingers in her lap. “No one’s asked me yet.”

“It’s barely March, you have plenty of time. Maybe that boy you like will, what’s his name again?”

“Aqua,” Kairi whined again but this time much more dramatically, holding her hands up to her face.

“Okay,” Aqua chuckled. “Your secret is safe with me.”

A flash of white near the door made Aqua nearly fall over in her effort to get a better look but it must’ve been just someone walking by. She tried not to make her sigh audible but it didn’t work since Kairi looked significantly less embarrassed.

“What is it?” she asked.

“Ah, nothing,” Aqua shook her head.

Kairi looked like she was going to say something but the bell over the door rang. Aqua looked over to greet the customer but to her surprise it was actually a familiar face.

“Hi, Lea,” Kairi said with a smile, though it quickly turned to a frown. “What’s wrong with you?”

The tall teenager wasn’t exactly a frequent costumer of flowers but he was a frequent friend of Roxas and Namine, two of the part time kids who worked in the afternoons, as well as Kairi; ironically enough, Roxas’ twin brother worked next door at the restaurant. Aqua was pretty sure they all went to school together. Lea wasn’t usually all smiles but he was pretty laid back and relaxed of a person so it was a little unusual to see such a scowl on his face.

He placed his hands on the counter, looking so strangely serious. “I need flowers to say fuck you in the most passive aggressive way possible.”

She blinked at him; that wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.

“Can you…can you do that with flowers?” Kairi asked, clearly as caught off guard but probably not terribly surprised either.

“Well, yes, you can,” Aqua said. “I can’t say it’s a common reason but it can be done. I’m not sure who did you wrong enough to get a passive aggressive flower message but follow me, we’ll find something.”

Kairi had her hand over her mouth as she was trying not to laugh, something Lea noticed as he reached up to gently push at her head.

Aqua had to run through meanings in her head as she looked over what they had, the somewhat strange request would take her mind away from today and make time go by faster for once. At least it was different than the same old red roses.

The bell barely dinged to let Aqua know she should turn from watering the plants and she already knew who it was.

“Hello, beautiful flower maidens, have you seen what a lovely day it is outside today?”

Aqua snorted as she looked over to Zack, his arms extended slightly like he was offering the world’s best news. “No, some of us have been stuck inside a building all day unlike you.”

Zack moved his hand up to his heart, cringing over dramatically. “Oh, Aqua, you wound me. Hey, I’ll let you have the rest of the day off. No worries, you deserve it.”

“You can’t do that,” Aerith said from the front counter where she was writing down orders, but now she just had her chin in her hand as she tapped the pen against the order book, a big grin on her lips. “You don’t even work here.”

He started to walk towards her. “Yeah, but the owner’s daughter is my wife so I think I can have some say.”

She hummed, dropping the pen so she could step away from the counter to where he was standing. “I think you have a little bit longer before you’re allowed to call me that, you know, until we actually get married.”

Zack waited till she was close enough before wrapping his arms around her, pulling her right off the ground which earned a cry of laughter from Aerith. “Or we could still go with my idea and just go to the courthouse so we don’t have to wait any longer.”

Aqua moved to the next section of plants. Aerith and Zack were always at an adorable level of cute; they gave those sweet feelings that come with seeing two people made for each other. It made Aqua glad to see that her friend was so very happy, but it always came with a small pain in her chest after. She supposed it was partly her fault, if she ever wanted to find a relationship like theirs she actually had to, you know, accept being in a relationship or take the first steps to start one herself.

Neither was exactly easy to do; even if she had thought about it…a lot over the past few months.

“I’d agree with you,” Aerith said. “If I hadn’t been in the flower business my whole life, and have been planning my wedding since I was six years old.”

“Touché,” Zack snorted. “Doesn’t matter, I’ll marry you any day, anywhere. Aqua’s my witness to it.”

She rolled her eyes but turned her head. He was putting Aerith back on the ground, placing a quick kiss to her lips. They really were sweet. Aqua went back the flowers in front of her as Aerith moved to her order sheet, Zack taking a seat on the stool in front of her. He was probably waiting for shift swap which was in…Aqua glanced up at the clock. Oh thank God, only ten minutes left.

She reached over to brush aside some leaves to get closer to the roots. She could hear Zack talking to Aerith but about what, Aqua couldn’t tell.

She supposed maybe risks were worth taking if there was happiness like theirs at the end of it, that wondering and day dreaming really did nothing if she couldn’t put action behind it. It was just like every time she told herself today would be the day she’d say something. But she froze and let a whole day go by without doing anything. Aqua knew what made her nervous because what if Terra said no…or almost just as scary, what if he said yes? She’d be right on the track she knew so well, but that track always ended poorly and that…that she absolutely didn’t want with him. She knew it didn’t have to end the same way, that Terra wasn’t anyone who had broken her heart before, but she found that first leap to be much harder than she ever expected it to be until she was face to face with someone like him.

The alternative, of course, was working in this shop and seeing him almost every day as they did with her trying to hide how much more she wanted it to be; relatively hiding because anyone who did know never seemed to be all too surprised. Granted, she must’ve done an okay job because he didn’t take any steps farther either. Maybe he was afraid of the same things she was or maybe he really wasn’t interested.

Aqua sighed as she crouched down to get some of the plants on the floor. Wouldn’t it be nice to just turn off her brain for even a little bit of time? All she really knew was she was pretty sure she’d be devastated if he ever stopped coming to see her, or if he came in with another girl to buy flowers for. Aqua knew that was telling in itself and she should just do anything instead of wondering for all of eternity what could’ve been; that she let her fear of the past hold her back from the future. Could she live with that?

The bell rang near her but she was a little tangled in the plants to greet them.

“Hey, man!” Zack exclaimed.

Aqua knew what she should do, yeah, but while it was easy to know, it was harder to actually do something about it.

“Welcome to the Gainsborough Flower Emporium,” he continued grandly, even though that wasn’t even remotely the name of the shop. “Bet we can help you find any sort of flower for any object of your affection. May I suggest blue roses?”

“I’m fine, Zack,” Terra said and Aqua promptly felt the watering can slip from her hands.

It clanged to the ground, making more noise than actually spilling water. She quickly reached to grab it and try and get the heat to leave her face before she stood up. It didn’t seem to work very well.

“Are you okay?” Terra asked, leaning around one of the plant displays to see her better. He didn’t look like he was about to laugh or anything, but Aerith was absolutely doing a bad job hiding hers.

“Ah, yeah,” Aqua said, standing up this time with the water can firmly in her hands. “The handle was just slippery.”

“You should be careful, Aqua,” Zack said, though she couldn’t see him very well. “I’d have to ask Terra to help you get to the hospital otherwise. Ow! Hey, what was that for?” It was clear that was directed at Aerith which Aqua at least appreciated the assist, even if it didn’t make the heat in her face go away at all.

“What’re you doing here?” Aqua asked, ignoring Zack’s comment completely. “Shouldn’t you be off work now?”

“Yeah, thankfully,” Terra said, turning to face her better, small smile on his lips. “I know it’s a nice day but I just figured I’d see if you wanted a ride home.”

Aerith was whispering something slightly commanding to Zack, who responded with a hushed “I didn’t say anything” but Aqua tried, really hard, not to pay attention to them.

“Oh, yeah, that would be really nice, thank you,” she said with a smile. “Well, if you don’t mind waiting…” She looked over to the clock. “Like five minutes?”

“You can go, Aqua,” Aerith said. “It’s fine.”

“So you can let her leave but I can’t?” Zack asked.

Aerith rolled her eyes but she was smiling. “Go on, don’t need to make him wait for five minutes.”

“Okay,” Aqua said. “Only if you’re sure.”

“Positive.”

Aqua went up to the counter, placing the can down so she could grab her purse from the shelves underneath. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See you tomorrow,” Aerith hummed, leaning back over to her order form.

“See ya,” Zack waved. “Take care of our little princess, okay? Home by…you know however long it takes to drive her home.”

“Bye, Zack,” Terra rolled his eyes, but pushed the door open wider for Aqua.

Stepping outside and breathing the fresh air of early spring was admittedly much better. “I’m sorry about them,” Aqua said, walking next to Terra to the parking lot behind the building where he usually parked his car.

“Don’t be,” he said, glancing over. “I went to school with Zack, I’m very much used to it.”

“Was he always that energetic?”

“Yes, always.” Terra pulled his keys out as they got closer to his car.

She waited on the passenger side until he opened his side of the door and she heard the click that all the doors were unlocked. She dropped her bag on the floor and slid into the car. It was all familiar to her now. In the winter, he didn’t want her to wait for the bus in the cold when they usually got off at the same time. Aqua tried not to focus on the fact the weather was very nice out, she didn’t even need a jacket today, but he was still offering; it made her chest feel light.

“So,” she sighed as she watched him start to back out of the parking spot. “How was work today?”

“Same old, same old really,” he said. “Now that people can eat outside again it gets a little busier.”

“I can understand.” She leaned her head back against the head rest as he pulled out into the street, taking the familiar way home. “I love the spring, when it starts to get warm and all the flowers come up.”

“Understandable, since you’re chronically cold.”

“Hey, just because I’m not a walking furnace at all seasons of the year doesn’t mean I’m the weird one here.”

“I didn’t even know the heat in my car could go as high as it does until I met you.”

“You’re being so dramatic,” she laughed, turning her head to him.

He was still watching the road, moving his hand to shift the car up, but she saw the smile on his lips, dimples on his cheeks. She could imagine this. She could imagine seeing him every day and not just for the few bits she saw him for food. Aqua bet even though he cooked for a living he still liked to cook dinner, that he snored, that he liked to watch movies with popcorn, that he wouldn’t mind that she stole all blankets. She wanted so much more, she wanted a chance at so much more with him. Even if she didn’t have a chance, even if it didn’t work out she had to at least try.

“How was work for you?” he asked, turning the car off the main street.

“Getting busier every day,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “We have some winter and fall weddings, of course Valentine’s Day, and it picks up when the spring and summer brides start to plan, and then we have everyone who waits last minute to do anything.”

Terra clicked his tongue. “Of course.”

“But it’s okay, I like doing it. Aerith is the best at wedding flowers but I’m getting better, it’s fun.”

“I bet you’re much better at it then you give yourself credit for.”

“Yeah?” she asked though her breath caught in her throat. “What makes you say that?”

“Because I’ve seen you create displays and arraignments for people.” He glanced over to her. “They’re beautiful too.”

“Would you let me do the flowers at your hypothetical wedding?”

“Without a hypothetical doubt.”

She didn’t bother trying to hide her smile. “I still owe you a flower crown too.”

“You absolutely do, I didn’t forget. I was going to try to bring it up passive aggressively in a week or so. Thanks for saving me the trouble.”

She laughed louder than she probably should have but when he laughed too it didn’t really seem to matter. Neither did when he finally came to stop in front of her townhouse. She felt nerves twist down on her stomach, but she had to. She had to say something. This was the time.

“Do you work tomorrow?” he asked, watching her as she gathered her bag off the floor of his car.

“I do. You?”

“People have to eat,” he shrugged with a smile. “I’ll be there.”

“People do have to eat, but they’re lucky they get to eat your food.”

Terra paused as he watched her, but it quickly turned into a smile. “Ah, well, I appreciate that.”

She reached for the handle, trying to not let him see that her fingers were shaking as she pushed the door open. Just say it, say something, anything. Aqua poked her head back in the car, meeting his eyes. He still had the small smile on his lips, hair messy from the hairnet he had to wear, car smelling like the grill he worked over all day and it was the most inviting image Aqua saw all day.

“See you tomorrow then,” she said, swallowing the lump in her throat.

“See you tomorrow, Aqua.”

She shut the door but could only stand on the sidewalk as she watched his car drive away. She didn’t know whether to be furious with herself or cry that she once again wouldn’t let the words come out. She had been given so many chances since she met him, so many perfect moments but here she was still standing in front of her home alone.

She wouldn’t be given chances forever; that she knew for a fact.

Aqua stopped registering the sound of the bell about halfway through the day. Spring was in full swing, and between upcoming holidays and wedding season taking off it seemed like nonstop work. If she wasn’t helping customers with flowers or signing up for consultation appointments, she was helping Aerith get orders ready.

She barely had time to even eat her lunch, let alone be disappointed it was Cid and not Terra. So when she looked up from wrapping someone’s bouquet and he was walking through the door she was more than surprised. It was way past lunch and he wasn’t in his work uniform.

“Hey, Terra,” she said with a smile. She was busy but of course her stomach still had time to get fluttery at the sight of his smile. “Give me one second.”

“Take your time,” he said with a nod.

Aqua got the customer rang out and on their way as quickly as she could, for no ulterior motive of course. There was another costumer in the store but Kairi came in early to help out so that was handled and Aerith was in the back with a bride so everything should be okay. “What’s up?” she breathed looking over to where he was lingering around a few vases. “You had today off, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, clapping his hands together and fiddling his fingers some. He looked a little nervous, like he had never been in here before which was weird.

“Everything okay? I wouldn’t come back here if I wasn’t working,” she said, leaning slightly over the counter and praying no one came in so she had a moment with him.

“I’m actually here as a customer, for once.” He reached his hand up behind his head, giving almost a nervous smile.

“I take it you’ve never bought anyone flowers before?” Aqua tried not to feel the way her mouth went dry, her stomach turning slightly with nerves. Not every flower was romantic; it didn’t have to be that. She shouldn’t assume.

“Not at all.”

“Okay.” She gestured for him to follow her. “I got you, no problem. Do you want a premade bouquet or one you put together?”

“Ah.” He followed after her, though it wasn’t that big of a store and she could feel the warmth of his body behind her. “Maybe one put together like now.”

“Don’t be so nervous,” she chuckled, turning to look at him; which was funny considering she still felt like she was going to throw up. “It’s just flowers. Who are they for?”

Terra blinked at her. “Oh, um, a girl.”

“Yeah, I assumed, dummy.” Deep breaths, it’s okay. A girl could mean anyone. “I mean like mother, friend, sister, aunt, or, ah, romantic?”

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “That, romantic.”

Aqua reached out to the nearest vase there was, carefully straightening it to mask the way she felt her face fall with disappointment that sunk her stomach down to her core. She knew she had no right to feel upset when this was entirely her fault. He was an amazing person, there’s no way she was the only person to know that. She used up all her chances.

She looked back up with the best customer service smile she had. “Oh! I didn’t know you had a girlfriend, Terra.”

“I, um, well, I don’t,” he shrugged, both his hands were in his pockets, glancing away from her. “It’s more like…I like her, and I’m trying to say that in…the least awkward way possible which is a lot less than I feel right now.”

She laughed lightly, more for his sake than hers. “Then stop feeling awkward. There’s, you know, nothing awkward about it. So…” She looked away from him which was probably for the best to the flowers in front of them. “For affection, new, um, new love.”

Aqua reached out to the petals, remembering why she worked here, to make others happy. Even if it wasn’t… wasn’t her, she needed to make whoever it was feel all the emotions Terra was trying to express. “Red roses are the standard and they’d get the point across I’m sure but traditionally more for a deeper love than just trying to tell someone you like them.”

“Right,” was his only input.

“Okay,” she breathed. “Roses are still viewed as a romantic. So there’s the orange ones that can be seen as desire or passion. Yellow is kind of all over the place from friendship to extreme betrayal so I don’t recommend that one.”

“What about blue?” he asked reaching his hand out to touch one of them.

“Blue? Um, those in the romantic sense are sort of mystery or attaining the impossible. Also can be love at first sight. Same with the lavender ones as well.”

“Yeah, those two. Blue and purple.”

Aqua nodded. “Those two colors go very well together too. How many would you like?”

“Ah, however many you think is good?”

She glanced over at him still looking so embarrassed about this whole thing, it was hard not to feel a smile pull at her lips even if it hurt. He was such a sweet soul. “Okay, I got it handled.”

He must’ve gotten the hint because he made his way over to the counter as Aqua picked the amount of flowers she thought would look good. She could feel Kairi’s eyes looking over but Aqua ignored it. She took the flowers up to the counter and went about cutting and tying the flowers like she would anyone else.

“A card?” she asked, though she almost didn’t want to ask, afraid to see the name he’d say.

“Hmm?” He looked like he wasn’t even been paying attention.

“Um, do you want a card to go with it? A message, a name?”

“Oh, no, its fine.”

That was a relief at least. She wrapped up the flowers in some paper tying it once more so it would all stay together. It did look really lovely. “Here you go,” she said, handing him the bouquet even though he still had his wallet in his hand.

“Ah, how much?”

Aqua shook her head. “It’s on the house.”

“Aqua, you don’t have to do that.”

“You know how much you’ve saved me in food?” She hoped she held it together enough for him not to see the stinging in her eyes and only saw the smile. “Take it, please.”

He hesitated, but he put his wallet back in his pocket. “Well, thank you, I appreciate it.” He took the flowers but not before looking over to her again. “See you this weekend? At the wedding?”

Aqua nodded, blinking slightly. “Yeah, I’ll be there.”

“Okay,” he said, looking down at the flowers before giving a smile. “Thanks again.”

“Course.”

Terra turned to leave and all she wanted to do was let him walk out that door and forget what it felt like when he smiled at her.

“Terra?”

“Yeah?” He turned around at the door looking back to her.

“I hope she likes them.”

He smiled again before giving her a wave. “I think she will.”

She watched him till he was gone. The sun was still shining and the flowers still smelt lovely, but it was a little less bright to her knowing what a mistake she made. He was wonderful; he deserved any sort of happiness. Aqua just hoped it would’ve been with her. Even if she knew it was her fault for never saying anything, it didn’t ease any of the hurt she felt.

It was her job to make others happy, she just couldn’t understand why she couldn’t let herself be happy too. Why couldn’t she risk something, anything for once? Aqua wished she had the answer.

The day went on. People came, they bought flowers, they talked about their loved ones, their happy days, the sadness of losing someone they loved, the excitement of finding someone new in your life and she met it all with a smile like she always did. Aerith knew, even if she chose not to ask. Kairi even probably knew. Aqua never said what happened; she didn’t want to think about it at work.

She said her afternoon goodbyes and waved from the door before stepping out into the warm air. She looked up and down the side walk in some stupid hope that maybe Terra happened to come back to pick her up but why would he? He was probably on a date tonight.

Aqua breathed in and headed to the bus stop. It was a very short ride to her home but it felt like an eternity. She wanted to get home, get in her pajamas, and just stay there for the rest of the day… maybe the week. She knew it would get better eventually, but for now the loss of something she never had still made her chest sting, making every breath hard.

She stepped off the bus to her small town house, thankful her neighbor wasn’t outside since she was pretty sure she didn’t want to talk to anyone anymore. Home, PJ’s, couch, and probably something really sweet. That was all she wanted.

Until something caught her eye on her porch.

It was a nice distraction since she wasn’t expecting any packages. Aqua walked up the few steps, but the paper was already familiar. She nearly stopped in her tracks but she kept going, reaching for the flowers propped in between the screen door and her house door. The blues and purples she knew well, ones she had weaved together just a couple hours prior, to make someone smile.

Her breath choked in her throat. It had to be a mistake, right? Maybe she did something wrong with them and he didn’t want to embarrass her at the store? Against her better judgement she reached a hand up to run over the velvety petals, though the sharp corner of paper felt distinctly out of place. Aqua carefully pulled out a ripped piece of paper of some sort, her guess was probably whatever Terra had in his car which was endearing in itself.

She almost didn’t want to look, afraid if it was a mistake someone else’s name would be on it. She should just give it back to him when she saw him tomorrow but it admittedly didn’t stop her own eyes from looking over his messy handwriting. She recognized all the curves, the sloppy quick way he wrote from years of making fast orders and notations, but she especially recognized how her name looked when he wrote it. She saw it countless times on boxes, orders, notes; her name was addressed here.

Aqua was afraid if she didn’t hold onto the flowers as tightly as she was, she’d drop them.

I didn’t know how else to tell you

-Terra

She was fairly certain she read it over a dozen times before she sank to the ground right there on her porch. The note was tight in her hand as she leaned her face to the flowers, the scent just as lovely as it ever was, almost lovelier now. Aqua was also aware she might actually look crazy if she started to cry over flowers on her front porch but she didn’t even know how to process the feelings that were swirling around her, going from utter despair to warm fluttering hope in a matter of seconds.

She didn’t know a lot of things, or even how to handle herself in a situation like this. What she did know was she’d never miss her chance again, not this time.

Aqua could still see the flowers sitting on her counter, the purples and blues creating such a pretty image in her small living room even as she was setting up someone else’s flowers. The ceremony was already under way which meant the reception area had to be perfect real quick. Thankfully Aerith and her mother were also here and they were all just about done.

Aqua reached over to adjust some of the petals on the center piece she was working on but couldn’t help but glance at the kitchen every time the door swung open. She recognized all of the workers, including Cid himself, but not Terra; granted not that the middle of someone’s reception was probably the best place to talk to him. She spent most the night lying awake in bed, trying to think of what she should say, how she should say it.

She still didn’t really have a good plan but it had to be something. She should’ve done this long before now.

She looked over to where the food was being prepared to be served, that looked like just about everyone really. Even if there were a few people lingering it would still be okay. Aqua took one last look down at the flowers and hurried over to the kitchen door. She pushed it open, though the smell of food was already enough to make her stomach growl; breakfast probably would’ve been a good thing to have.

It was surprisingly empty for the most part, though there was still plenty of food cooking, in the process of being prepared. The door swung closed behind her. She looked up just as Terra did from his place behind one of the tables.

“Oh, hey,” he said, small smile on his lips, though she didn’t miss how he nearly dropped the container of dressing he was filling. He quickly put the bottles down, reaching up to tug off the hairnet, making Aqua laugh; he really hated those things. “Sorry I hadn’t gotten to say hi.”

“It’s okay,�� she said, walking over to the table full of salad mixes. “I know it’s always busy.”

“Ah, yeah, weddings are busy.” He tugged his plastic gloves off his hands, tossing them on the table. “What’s up? How’s the set up going?”

She wanted to tell him it was good, almost done. She’d be able to leave soon which was usually when he offered to have her stay so he could sneak her a plate of food. She wanted it because times like that she really enjoyed with him, but she wanted to say so much more this time. How could she though? She didn’t even know the words to express how happy she was to spend time with him, how he made her feel every time he smiled at her, how much seeing those flowers on her porch made her feel. Maybe he had felt the same way too.

Aqua reached her hands up to his face pulling him down till she could press her lips to his. She knew she caught him off guard by the sharp intake of his breath, but he didn’t give her time to back down before his hands were on her waist. She looked up at him, his eyes fluttering open.

“I didn’t know how to tell you either.”

He hummed slightly, smile pulling at his lips. “I told you that you put together beautiful flowers.”

She dropped her hands to his chest, hitting him lightly though it was a little hard to breathe with him so close to her, his warm touch still on her. “Why didn’t you tell me in the store? I thought there was someone else.” Easy for her to say, yeah, when she couldn’t do it either.

“Okay, first of all,” he snorted, but his smile was so beautiful Aqua hoped they didn’t need him for the rest of the day because she was pretty done with working at this point. “I had hoped you weren’t there because that would’ve been a lot of easier. What was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to embarrass you in public or back down, you know, again.”

Her breath caught in her throat. “They were really beautiful.”

“Oh, I’m glad you think so considering you’re the one who made the bouquet.”

She tried not to laugh, she really did, they were having a serious conversation. She can finally, finally able to get things off her chest but she dissolved into a fit of laughter anyways.

“Second of all,” he continued, reaching a hand up to her face to get her to look at him again. “There hasn’t been anyone else since I walked into the store and saw you smile back at me.”

“I’m sorry it took so long for me to tell you,” she breathed, suddenly very unaware of anything else.

“I’m sorry I did too.” His breath was warm on her lips, hand sliding to brush past her hair.

She curled her fingers into the straps of his apron. “Doesn’t matter now.”

“Not at all.”

Aqua barely felt his lips against hers again before the kitchen door swung open.

“Terra, hey, Cid-”

Not really any time to pretend they were doing anything less than they were, so Aqua merely looked up to see one of the younger boys, Sora, looking surprised before reaching a hand up to his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said, cringing under his hand. “Cid says he needs those salads now, Terra, or he’s going to kick your ass himself.”

“Ah, yep, sounds about right.” Terra let her go, to move and grab the two bowls of salads as Sora quickly scurried off back to the reception floor. “Hey, okay, don’t go.” Terra said to her as he walked backwards to the doors, one bowl in each hand. “I’ll get you something to eat when I get back.”

“Okay,” she nodded, reaching her fingers up to her lips for no reason really.

“Okay,” he said, leaning back against the door with a smile.

“Terra,” Sora hissed from the other side of the door.

“Coming, coming.” Terra pushed open the door and he was gone.

Aqua took a moment to breathe before following after him. She poked her head out but no one was paying attention. It looked like all the flowers were finished but she knew she should ask just in case. She really was trying to go find Aerith or Mrs. Gainsborough but she couldn’t help but see Cid gesturing at Terra’s hair angrily as he clearly forgot to put the hairnet back on. He had to jog back to the kitchen to get another one.

She tried not to laugh as she reached forward to adjust one of the center pieces, the flowers smelling even better. The day seemed brighter already as she looked forward to hanging out with Terra in the kitchen, whatever they chose to do next, wherever they would go from here.

Honestly, she wasn’t sure what she had ever been afraid of in the first place.

#terraqua #kingdom hearts #terra #aqua #kh fanfic #my fics:kh #modernaukh #tobewithyou #I posted this a while ago but never here hahaha

27 notes · View notes

octannibal-blake · 7 years ago

Note

Halloween party with the gang! Bellamy and Clarke aren't exactly friends, but he/she can't deny she/he looks great in her/his costume this year...

aw thanks for the prompt, kat! lmao this got sooo long and i apologize ahead of time. i’m not sure if this is what you intended but this is where i ended up – i may have watched how i met your mother and the slutty pumpkin episode before this so…i blame that. anyways, i hope it’s enjoyable!

and so, we meet again

2013

It is onHalloween night that Bellamy decides he’s moved in to the worst apartmentcomplex ever. He’s sitting on his couch, perfectly content to write his essayin peace and drink shitty beer. He hates this stupid holiday, always has, andwould rather pretend that it’s just another day. Instead, he hears a knock onhis window and turns around defensively, poised to break the glass bottle overthe intruder’s head. Turns out, it’s just a pirate. Or his neighbor, dressed asa pirate, rather.

“Someone’sjumpy,” Nathan Miller comments, holding his hand (one actual hand, and one fakehook) up in surrender, “Chill, dude.”

He setsthe bottle down on the table with a deep breath, “Do you make it a habit toenter other people’s apartments unannounced?”

Miller shrugs,“Isn’t that kind of the point of sharing a fire escape?”

Bellamyrolls his eyes. He only moved into this apartment over the summer. His sisterjust began her first semester of college at NYU and he has been finishing hisMaster’s degree at Columbia (honestly, thank God both of them are smart becausethey couldn’t just afford this kind of education on their own). They decided torent an apartment in the city, thanks to a heft amount of help from theirgrandparents and working full time at the pub in the basement. The day theymoved in, they met their neighbors. Nathan Miller, the broody full-timemechanic and his boyfriend, Monty. The IT guy. That’s how Miller introducedhim, anyways.

“Let’sgo,” Miller gestures and begins to move back out the window. Bellamy doesn’tfollow. He might like his neighbors, and sure they’ve had a few nights inplaying Mario Kart on the 64, but now he comes in dressed as a pirate and justtells Bellamy to follow him? Sounds sketchy.

“Where?”

Millerstops and turns around dramatically and holds up his hook hand, “Costume party.On the roof. It’s an annual thing. Everybody in the building goes.”

“Nothanks,” he responds.

Tenminutes later he’s on the damn roof, music blaring out of someone’s ownpersonal amp and chatter filling the empty space. It’s a very well put togetherparty and it does seem like everyone in the building is in attendance – heshouldn’t be surprised. It’s a cheap complex close to college campus. Brokecollege students fill most of the rooms and this is very much the kind ofthings college kids would do. Unless you’re Bellamy, because fuck Halloween.

He sipsfrom his drink stoically, rolling his eyes at some of the costumes. Some ofthem are pretty typical – he’s seen multiple Avenger’s costumes. Plenty of sexynurses (which, he is absolutely not opposed to). He isn’t the kind of guy todress up, though. It’s just lucky that he happened to be wearing a t-shirt thatsays “costume” when Miller basically drug him from his apartment.

“Nicecostume,” a voice enters into his dramatic reverie. Next to him, a blondeprincess is filling her cup with the shitty vodka punch. She adjusts her tiaraas it begins to fall off her head and looks up at him with a smirk. She makesno movement to leave, just leans against the table and gives him a solid onceover. Apparently, she does not appreciate his t-shirt and jeans.

“Not intocostume parties?” she asks.

He shrugs,“Not into Halloween.”

This makesher roll her eyes at him, “Wow, you’re one of those people.”

One of thosepeople? He glares at her for a moment, “If one of those people means notwanting to contribute to a stupid holiday, then yeah, I am.”

“What’snot to like! Free candy. An excuse to dress up. Big parties?” the Princessseems to very much into Halloween, her costume speaking volumes. And she soundslike he had been personally attacking her when he said he didn’t like it. He’sentitled to an opinion.

“Overpriced candy, expensive outfits you only wear once, and not to mention some ofthose outfits appropriate multiple cultures and are thinly veiled racism,” hepoints out. He’s put a lot of thought into this over the years. Everythingabout Halloween is annoying and overrated.

“Wow,” shebreathes out, clearly surprised by his passionate answer, “You really have alot of feelings about this.”

“I’m justa realist,” he shrugs again, “This punch is terrible.”

“I canagree with that,” she says before making a show of chugging her own cup, “Butit tastes better the drunker you are.”

He getsanother cup. The Princess makes no show of going away to enjoy the dance flooror the free candy offered. Instead she remains at the drink table with him and somehow,they end up talking about extremely…intense topics. She’s in nursing schooland apparently, hates every minute of it. He tells her about failing his lastexam because he was working too many hours at the bar. It becomes a bitpessimistic at times. She decides to change the subject before he does.

“I knowit’s a mask,” she says after spotting a ridiculous Barack Obama costume, “Butit feels wrong to dress up as the President. Like they’re trying to insulthim.”

“Would yousay the same if someone came dressed as George Bush?” he asks, and not evenbecause he disagrees with her. But mostly because she looks really cute the wayher cheeks are flushed and her hands a flailing around trying to explain ethicsto him.

“I wouldprobably feel differently about that,” she points to the Obama mask wearingoffender, “If it wasn’t a white person.”

He liftshis cup to her, “Touché.”

He decideshe likes this Princess, even if she is a Halloween supporter. She’s got spunk.She’s feisty and she’s making the party somewhat bearable. Yet, somehow, onlyan hour has passed at the drink table before her phone goes off.

“I gottarun,” she says downing the rest of her drink and tossing the cup in the trash,“But thanks for entertaining me. Do you still hate Halloween?”

“That’snot changing,” he responds immediately. She only grins at that.

“Oh, Ithink it will.”

2014

He findsthat he really likes his apartment. Miller becomes one of his closest friend, asort of friendship he hadn’t experienced in a long time. Not since Raven Reyesdecided to go be an engineer at some prestigious college on the coast. Heenjoys having Miller around and even Monty has made an effort to includeBellamy in his D&D group. It’s not something he thought he would enjoy butactually, he loves it. Octavia stays pretty busy with school and hasn’t beenhome much, so he’s been forced to occupy his time with other things. Nerdythings, as his sister called them. He doesn’t really care. He feels like he’sfinding a home at this place.

They go tothe rooftop again for Halloween this year and he isn’t forced this time. Millerand Monty go as two video game characters he’s never heard of, which is verythem, and he keeps his costume. Miller rolls his eyes at the familiar oranget-shirt but doesn’t make him change. That’s a true friend. When they arrive,there are a few more people than last year and there seems to be two speakersinstead of one. They’re trying to make it a bit more exciting, according toMonty, but Bellamy thinks it’s just right.

He mightbe down to party, he still hates this holiday and probably will until the dayhe dies. Seriously, what was the fucking point of it? He leaves his friends tograb a drink and though he remembers how disgusting the punch was last year, hestill pours himself a cup. Yep, just as disgusting.

“Niceoutfit,” is how it starts once again. He turns to find the princess once againpouring herself a drink. It takes him a moment to recognize her, she’s got abrown wig twisted on the side of her head. Princess Leia. How original.

“I couldsay the same to you,” he comments with a scoff. She moves next to him, thewhole things feeling very much like a routine between the two of them despitebeing strangers. He hadn’t seen her since last Halloween. He figured she musthave moved on with her life, whatever that may be. Apparently, she just makes appearancesat the Halloween party.

“PrincessLeia is a badass,” she defends, and the spell begins again. He isn’t sure whatit is about her. She has a way of making him feel as though they’re old friendscatching up – she updates him a nursing school and he tells her about finishingundergrad and completing his Master’s. She tells him about wanting to be anartist but being pressured into nursing. He tells her about raising his sister.It’s all pretty fucking ridiculous considering he doesn’t even know her name.

“You wannadance?” she asks during a comfortable silence between them. Normally, he wouldsay no. But he finds himself nodding and following her to the dance floor.

“You a fanof Halloween yet?” she asks as he twirls her around to the sounds of MonsterMash.

“Hell no,”he responds, “You’ll have to try a little harder, Princess.”

She smirksat that, “Did you not get to trick or treat as a kid?”

He dipsher and she giggles, “Not really. Not a great neighborhood for getting candy.Might end up with a bag of meth instead.”

He doesn’tmean to get all serious. He’s just being honest. His mom worked hard to providefor them but they didn’t grow up in a great area. Not the kind of place to hangout and play baseball outside or anything. He’s okay with that. But she giveshim a pitying look and he lets go of her hand.

“I didn’tsay it to make you feel bad for me,” he grumbles defensively, and he’ssurprised when she gives him a soft smile.

“Oh, Idon’t,” she reassures him and he can’t help but feel a bit confused. Shesmiles, “I just think it’s all the more reason for you to give Halloween achance now that you’re older.”

Hechuckles at that, “You’re awfully determined.”

“This ismy favorite holiday.”

“We allhave our flaws,” he responds, and she gives him a playful shove and he grabsher hand. For a moment things are silent and he feels a magnetic pull towardsher. Something about her intrigues him and okay, she’s beautiful with herexpressive blue eyes and soft smile. Just as his lips brush against hers, herphone rings. She jumps back and stares at the screen, something changing in herface. She looks almost…sad.

“I have totake this,” she says apologetically. Before he can question her any further,she disappears.

Shedoesn’t come back.

2015

He findshimself choosing to celebrate Halloween, or rather, choosing to celebrate onbehalf of someone else. Gina, his girlfriend, had been adamant about doingsomething fun for the holiday. She likes dressing up and having a good time andhell, he doesn’t want to be the one to stop her. So, rather than go out andspend money he doesn’t have at some bar, he figured the rooftop party would bejust the place.

It’s moreof a spectacle this year. Some of the residents of the complex created acommittee to help spruce it up and when he arrives, it’s a vast difference fromthe past small soirees. There are lights strung up around the roof top, morepatio furniture had been added. There’s a DJ (though it’s just Monty’s friendJasper who also plays D&D on Wednesdays). There also seems to be morepeople, but this has it’s perks. Instead of cheap beer and shitty punch thereis more variety at the drink table. There are bottles and bottles of liquorfollowed by liters of soft drinks. Part of him thinks having a table to mixyour own drinks is an awful idea, but he plans on standing guard at the drinktable, anyway.

“Let’sdance!” Gina pleads with him when they arrive. The music is loud and pop-y andthe dance floor is littered with awful costumes and awkward people. He wouldrather stab out his eyes.

“Mybrother doesn’t dance,” Octavia says from behind them and when he turns around,he’s ready to have an aneurysm. She’s wearing an intricate bathing suit topwith a long, green sequined skirt. She has scales painted on her face. Afucking mermaid.

“When didyou pierce your belly button?” is all he can say, hating the silver piece ofjewelry currently dangling from her navel. She’s an adult, he knows that, butit’s still his baby sister and Jesus, isn’t she cold?!

“Come on,Gina,” Octavia rolls her eyes and pulls his girlfriend to the dance floor. Hestomps his way to the drink table because, yeah, it’s going to be a long night.

He decidesto start off with a Jack and Coke, because the old legends say drinking beerfirst thing is the sure way to get sick. And, okay, he’s tested that theorybefore and it is definitely accurate. He takes his spot next to the drink tableand tries to take a drink, unsuccessfully, when his ears nearly fall of hishead. Stupid costume.

“Niceoutfit,”

He turns automatically to have his suspicionsconfirmed. The Princess stands before him, pouring her drink and grinning athim like an idiot as she takes in his costume. Gina had really insisted ondressing up for this and honestly, he really wants to make her happy becauseshe’s a cool chick and he likes her a lot. So when she suggested they go asbugs bunny and Lola bunny, he wasn’t really against it. He likes Space Jam andit’s a simple costume. So he let her order a pair of bunny ears for him and lethe glue a tail to a pair of his old basketball shorts. He’s a good boyfriend.

He’s aboutto bite out a “thanks” when he notices what she’s wearing. There is no wig. Notiara. Instead her blonde hair is all natural, cut just below the chin and hereffort in a costume minimal this year. His jaw snaps shut when he reads theorange t-shirt she’s wearing. It reads, “Costume”.

“Veryfunny,” he deadpans, and it only causes her to grin in triumph.

“Thanks,”she laughs, “For the inspiration, I mean. I’m someone who hates Halloween.”

“Yeah,” herolls his eyes, “I got that.”

“Youshould be flattered,” she says as though it’s obvious, “I couldn’t have donethis without you.”

“Thanksfor the credit.”

It’sstrange how they fall into an easy conversation after that, like last year theyhadn’t been about to make out on the dance floor and she hadn’t justdisappeared. He had thought about her for weeks after that, tempted to try andfind her one way or the other. But then he met Gina and he pushed all thoughtsof the Princess away from his mind. Until now, as she stands before him in acostume influenced by his dry humor and pessimism. He can’t help but feel alittle flattered, after all.

She askshim about his year and he tells her all the fine details, issues in hisdepartment at school and getting offered to study abroad for a semester. That’ssomething he hadn’t even told Gina but with her, it comes out like it’s no bigdeal. She congratulates him on the opportunity and tells him about her ownexperience – she’s a nurse and got the opportunity to go to the Caribbean tohelp in the aftermath of a natural disaster. Talking to her makes him feel likehe’s talking to a figment of his imagination. It’s easy to get lost and that’s prettydamn scary.

He doesn’teven notice when Gina comes up behind him.

“Bell?”she asks warily, looking between him and the Princess uncomfortably. He givesher a reassuring smile.

“Hey,” heputs an arm around her and she melts into him immediately, “I was just talkingabout you.”

Mostlyabout how scared he is to tell her about being away for three months, butstill. He doesn’t want her to feel neglected or anything. He likes her. A lot.

“You wannaget out of here?” Gina asks leaning into him, her breath hot on his neck. Helooks over her head for a moment to at least say goodbye to the Princess, maybeeven get her name because now she knows a little too much about him. But she’sgone already, having slipped away as Gina rolled into them. He turns hisattention back to his girlfriend and gives her soft kiss.

“Sure.”

2016

“I cameall the way here to go to this stupid rooftop party, so you’re going to takeme!”

RavenReyes is a lot of things. A spitfire, for one, ready to kick any and everyone’sass at any given moment. She’s also demanding, something he learned early on intheir friendship to deal with. Except today. Because he’s really not in thefucking mood.

“Go withOctavia,” he mutters under his breath, clicking into the next episode of NewGirl without a second thought. It’s once again his least favorite holiday andhe had a really shitty day at work. It’s his first semester as a teacher at thehigh school and the kids were extra rambunctious today. He’s got one hell of aheadache.

“Bellamy,get your ass up and let’s go,” she yanks the remote from his hand and begins topull on his arms, “You can wear your stupid ironic t-shirt for all I care,we’re going.”

He findshimself on the roof again. It’s been a year of ups and downs for him. Hestudied abroad in Greece, which has to be the highlight because it is probablythe second best experience of his life (the first being when he held his babysister for the first time – he’s a sap and he doesn’t care). He graduated withhis Master’s in history and had just begun his first teaching gig. On thedownside, Octavia moved in with her boyfriend, Lincoln, and he had to paydouble the rent for almost three months before finding a new roommate. His nameis John Murphy and he’s almost positive he’s a sociopath, but a cool sociopathonce you get to know him. Gina also broke up with him about three weeks beforehe left for his trip. Long distance wasn’t really her thing. He doesn’t blameher.

Ravendecided to come visit him for the first time in two years, mostly because sheand her boyfriend just broke up and she needed time away. But also because shemissed him and he had been in a foul mood for the past few months and neededcheering up.

He makeshis way to the drink table and takes up his usual post after introducing Ravento all the regulars. When he introduces her to Luna, his downstairs neighbor,well, it’s all over from there. He doesn’t see Raven again that night. Butthat’s not the part that bothers him. He spends over an hour at the drink tableand she never shows. The princess who copied his costume and who learned hisdeepest secrets before his fucking name. He thought maybe this would become athing. Like maybe she’s supposed to show up and talk him through his crisisevery Halloween. It’s a stupid expectation. Hell, he’s not even positive she’sreal.

Hefinishes four drinks before giving up and going home. Fuck Halloween.

2017

“Pleasewear it!”

He staresat the offending garment like he’s hoping to burn a hole through it,“Absolutely not.”

“You’lllook so hot!”

“Ew,please don’t ever say that again.”

Ravenhuffs at her roommate. He’s being stubborn, he knows that, but she knows how hefeels about costumes and she’s trying to force him to be part of a groupcostume which is just…it’s fucking cheesy.

“Please!”she begs, adjusting her own pink jackets as she pulls her hands together in aplea, “Even Murphy is doing it! Emori!”

She wantshim to dress up as one of the guys from Grease, leather jacket, hair gel, andtight pants. It’s a bit over the top if you ask him. He hates it. He shouldhave known this is how things would go when she moved in – what Raven wants,Raven gets. After last year, she decided to move to New York to be closer toher friends. She’d never admit it, but he also thinks it has something to dowith Luna. The two aren’t official by any means, but they spend a lot of timetogether. Raven says she isn’t into labels, so whatever, but he knows the girlcares about her.

“I don’tremember ever saying I would be a part of this, you just signed me up,” hepoints out. She had brought it to him as soon as he got home from work. She didhappen to catch him a good day, mostly because there were no students at work(it was an in-service day which meant he had a quiet classroom all to hisself). But going as the cast of Greaseis a sure way of bringing his good mood down.

“We’re alldoing it,” she argues again, “Besides, this is going to be the biggest partyyet! Miller is proposing to Monty!”

He knowsthis. Miller has already been to his apartment to freak out on numerousoccasions. They’ve been dating for almost seven years but only recently hasmarriage been legalized in all fifty states and they feel comfortable enough todo it. He’s happy for them and they honestly make him believe that love doesexist – they’re a good match and he knows how happy Monty makes him.

“I’m notdoing it.”

Thirtyminutes later, he finds himself on the fucking roof again with the leatherjacket slung over his shoulders. Raven can be very persuasive. They’re standingin the group and he realizes how much thought Raven really did put into this.Everyone is here and dressed up – Murphy and Emori, Octavia and Lincoln, Millerand Monty. Hell, even Luna came dressed as a Pink Lady.

“Where thehell is Clarke?” Raven hisses to Luna when she arrives. He has no idea whoClarke is, but Raven has already made more friends in her short time here thanhe has since he moved in. So, no surprises there.

“She’salways late, you know that,” Luna rolls her eyes, “She’ll be here.”

“Yo,Danny,” Raven calls and it takes him a moment to realize she’s talking to him,“Go grab me a beer.”

“I’m sorry,are you incapable?” he snaps and runs a hand through his hair, only for hisfingers to get stuck in the hair gel.

She flipshim the finger and he shuffles over to the table. Not because she told him too,he was already going to come here. He’ll just be nice and grab her a beer whilehe’s over here. Because he’s polite. And definitely not because she told himto. He reaches into the cooler to dig around for his favorite – he’s stickingto beer tonight. He has to teach in the morning.

He feels afamiliar pull and knows she’s there before she speaks.

“Wow,” shesays as he stands up, the buckles of his jacket clanking together, “Niceoutfit.”

He turnsslowly and before he can control it, his jaw opens slightly. It’s the Princess,alright, except she isn’t a princess at all. She’s dressed in a tight blackbody suit, and it’s clinging to every luscious curve of her body, paired with aleather jacket eerily similar to his own. He’s seen Grease enough time torecognize a Sandy when he sees one. He practically chokes on air. He looks overhis head to see the others watching him and Raven is looking extremely smugwhich makes him think she had something to do with this. He has no idea how shecould know, or how she could possibly be involved. But if anybody could figureit out, it’s her.

“I’mLuna’s roommate,” she seems to read his mind and she extends her hand with ahalf-smile, “Clarke Griffin.”

“Youweren’t here last year,” he says stupidly. He should introduce himself.Compliment her outfit because, damn. But all he can think about is that shewasn’t here last year.

She dropsher hand and glances down at her feet sheepishly, “I was working. New nursesalways have to work holidays.”

“Oh,” heresponds and still can’t figure out what to say. She’s been living in thisbuilding the whole time and he never once ran into her? She never tried to findhim despite their almost hook up two three years ago? Holy shit this has beengoing on that long?

“I guessthis is as weird for you as it is for me?” she asks, “I can leave, if you want.I know we’ve kind of been like…weirdly intimate but don’t really know eachother? And, honestly, I gave up when you showed up with a girlfriend but nowyou’re here and Raven said you’re single and you look really hot in thatcostume…”

It’s thisprecise moment that his brain actually decides to function and he laughs,watching as this girl he’s been dancing around for four years on the same dayrambles away about their strange relationship and admittedly having a crush onhim, similar to the way he’s felt about her. She’s been sort of his own littletradition – like every Halloween he goes to the roof to talk to this mysteriousgirl about all the things he was afraid to admit outloud to everyone else. Andshe’s fucking real and standing in front of him in a matching costume because,surpise, she actually knows his friends and lives two floors below him. Whatare the fucking odds.

He’shaving a hard time processing it all and wants to claim insanity when he slidesa hand into her thick curls and surges forward to kiss her. She stiffens and hepulls away, heart pounding in his chest and feeling completely disoriented.

“Shit,that was weird,” he panics, “I’m Bellamy. But you probably already know thatand…God, I’m sorry.”

She laughsthen, sweet and shy as her eyes search his own frantic ones, “No offense,Bellamy, but we’ve been talking for four years. Aren’t you tired?”

Shedoesn’t need to ask twice. He kisses her again and faintly hears the PinkLadies and the T-birds in the background hooting and hollering in theirapproval. It’s bizarre. But Halloween is a bizarre holiday and honestly, hemight not hate it so much after all.

#liz answers #my writing #bellarke fanfiction #halloween au #bellarke prompt fill #im sorry #idk how good this is but i loved the idea lol

152 notes · View notes

all-i-wanna-write · 7 years ago

Text

🎃 Wanna One as supernatural creatures 👻 - Maknae Line

[ Masterlist ] [ Back with the second part of this set - Now with the Wanna One children Maknae Line! I hope you all enjoy this!! also sorry for posting a bit late loves, Halloween parties are wild ahaha. Also wow it is lengthy again i’m sorry about that i tend to ramble whoops. I will get to the requests in my inbox soon to those who sent some in! Have a safe weekend everyone and be sure to read and watch lots of spooky Halloween things in preparation for Halloween next Tuesday! -Admin V ]

Park Jihoon

if someone calls him tinkerbell one more time he is actually going to lOSE IT

he is so sick of it

he is a pixie! not a fAIRY!

listen he knows they mean it as a joke,,, but cmon does he look like he wears a bright green leaf and is blonde

actually wait

he is not just aegyo and pixie dust and *magic* he is a MAN

and then you know, he sips milk out of a bendy straw and that argument is forgotten

his fashion sense is... still pretty out there.

really bright colors that do not match

and then he wears circle lenses all the time

(he actually cant see that well but he says its just fashion)

wears large sweaters to cover up wings so in summer hes Suffering™

“you doing okay there jihoon?”

hes just there sweating bullets but raises a thumb

“never better”

he doesn't let the world besides the Supernatural Hub™ and his close family and friends know hes a pixie

so he seems like a normal human to about everyone

he attends college and works at a cafe and is overall just a normal guy

a very cute guy who jeojangs into girls hearts and they fawn over his boyish appearance and general attitude

“hes so cute, like a lil kid!”

lol if only they knew

dresses up as a pixie every halloween

ha ha “dress up”

halloween is the one day a year he can be free and let his wings breathe in a place other than home

he was asked by a friend one year why hes a pixie every year and he sweat bullets yet again

“pixies are cool!”

hes just a pixie trying to live a normal life with crazy hyungs and friends who drive him insane

but he loves them though so its all okay

Bae Jinyoung

click clack

“how do you make that sound??? it sounds just like wood!”

“oh yeah my mouth is made of wood ahaha”

“wHAT”

introducing modern day frankenstein jinyoung

he was made after dying a long time ago in a car accident but was recreated into who he is now by his family

he ran away after finding out how crazy his family really is

occasionally has to do stitches on himself to connect parts again

he doesn't feel pain though

he has stitches on various parts of his body where he was put back together and some internal things replaced

a walking frankenstein

bright side he can do that really cool click clack sound with his mouth and not have to ever worry about throwing up cause no hunger or uvula to worry about

downside he cant have food really anymore because he doesn't have a way to digest it

he misses beef

he is still adjusting a bit to being alive again so he moves around a bit slowly

daehwi jokingly calls him a zombie and jinyoung has to hold his tongue to not curse at him

he gets back at daehwi by shaking his hand and it coming off and making the other faint

he doesn't really understand

he helps sungwoon and daehwi with their magic though!

he is kind of like the perfect assistant because he doesn't really feel pain and hes strong

hes just a cutie boy who may as well be half wood (i almost made him pinocchio lol) but is still gonna click clack his way into your heart

Park Woojin

“for the last time daehwi i’m a dragon not a lizard”

that’s right

our boy woojin is a fire breathing dragon

who lives in human form because despite how tempting it is to fly from the house to his classes

he doesn’t think that people will like that very much

“did you hear about that dragon sighting the other day?”

“dude you’re hallucinating, dragons don’t exist”

woojin sweating bullets to the side

woojin is actually a really young dragon

as in when he does shift forms its,,,

a small dragon

he isn’t a tiny whelpling but its pretty easy to tell he’s young by how small he is

thus why daehwi calls him a lizard

when he is in his dragon form, he has bright red scales that are shiny and actually pretty soft

he has to be careful because his natural hair ended up being red and he dyes it all the time in vain to stop it

he’s lucky that red is a common dye color otherwise yikes

he isn’t very greedy lmao a lie

he collects pink things but isn’t willing to admit it just yet

halloween comes around and woojin suffers

he is a manly man who likes manly things

children are his weakness he gives out candy to the ones in dinosaur and dragon costumes because they remind him so much of home and family wow let me hug this boy hold on

living heater v.2

everyone goes to either him or daniel if they’re cold

he takes a lil bit of convincing to cuddle however, he is more reserved than daniel is

shy dragon

he breathes fire when scared/angry

on more than one occasion the home was set on fire due to someone scaring woojin

hes a passionate dance major who sets fire to the stage

i’m sorry

love woojin he is just a smol dragon who is learning and loves dancing and pink

Lee Daehwi

*ahem*

Yer a wizard, Daehwi

moving on

somehow he knows everyone, like everyone

he can recite for memory who is who in a family before even meeting them

daehwi doesn’t look any different than the next person

and then you just see him twiddling a wand around before mumbling something and his shirts suddenly pink

he has seen all of harry potter and loves to point out all the inaccuracies such as;

“why are they so focused on their wands?? you can cast spells without a wand???”

“that is so not how you use troll’s hair”

“wHY IS EVERYONE SO OBSESSED WITH ROBES I DONT GET IT I’M CONFUSION”

he helps sungwoon with his potions!

mostly because no one else will nor do they know where the materials for potions are like daehwi

he learned how to teleport and called it apparate because he is that much of a nerd for the movie despite how much he bashes it

he uses his magic so much its a wonder how he hasn’t been outed for a wizard in his school

he is incredibly lazy because of magic tbh

“daehwi can you pass the pepper”

“oh yeah sure hyung”

and he just twirls his fingers and the pepper is floating over to seongwoo

“boi”

very knowledgeable in social media and fashion and makes it his own mission to style the members

he works with jihoon on that one

despite their own.... choices in fashion they know whats good on their friends

if daehwi hates something someone is wearing he’s just gonna change it anyways with his magic lol

halloween is fun because he can decorate the store!!

he loves setting up little decorations that are alive and things for kids to enjoy as they pass by the shop window

the store looks so spooky and festive that it gets a lot of revenue during this time and daehwi couldn’t be prouder

he and jinyoung are best pals, as daehwi helps jinyoung with getting used to being alive again and jinyoung helps him out with numerous things

dresses up in a witch hat and cape every year no questions asked

“i can do magic in public this way”

he is just a very lovable kid who may not understand boundaries at times but he tries and that’s honestly good enough for everyone

Lai Guanlin

our boy came from under the sea

literally

the merfolk and humans actually already know about each other so guanlin doesn’t really need to worry about people seeing his gills or ears because its not uncommon to see merfolk like him around

he is just cautious cause not a lot of people are really accepting of his kind yet

he just wants to learn about the world he hadn’t been in for so long because he was in the ocean for most of his life

silent frustration from wanna one hyungs who want to protect him

guanlin is a very tall merfolk for both his age as well as species

he ended up living at the Supernatural Hut™ because some kids at his boarding school bullied him for gills

and daehwi saw him getting bullied when he was coming back to the shop and boy did daehwi act

he is lucky those guys were turned around when he cast an illusion charm on a trash can

made it look like police jumping out. which scared the life outta those boys and they ran

daehwi proceeded to claim guanlin as his own and run off with him

okay he didn’t actually run off with him but he bought guanlin coffee and declared him his child

guanlin is confusion

“you were lost on your way back home but you found home in us”

“ew that was cheesy minhyun-hyung”

“here i am baring my heart and soul for you and i get rejected like this”

he’s home-schooled there because no one trusts those schools who let guanlin be bullied

protect the maknae 2k17

“so is under water like the little mermaid”

“whats the little mermaid?”

“that’s it kid you’re watching movies with us and you’re ours now you need to know little mermaid.”

he doesn’t really know what’s going on 99% of the time.

he learns very quickly though, and pretty soon he knew all the movies and basic “kid” stuff that every kid needs to experience within a week

he goes for swims in the nearby lake every other day and relishes swimming in the pure water, unlike the water in the shower

seonho, his other merman bud, lives at their home basically and eats all their food

still his best friend though

he looked like a kid in a candy store when he learned about halloween

dressed up as nemo and it was honestly the cutest thing to see

he is just a lovable fishy boy who wants to learn more about the world

#wanna one imagines #wanna one scenarios #park jihoon imagines #park jihoon scenarios #bae jinyoung scenarios #bae jinyoung imagines #park woojin scenarios #park woojin imagines #lee daehwi imagines #lee daehwi scenarios #lai guanlin imagines #lai guanlin scenarios #all-i-wanna-write #admin v #have a safe weekend everybody!#be sure to eat lots of good food and stay healthy!#<3

91 notes · View notes

araniaexumae · 7 years ago

Text

Do You Want to Fall in Love With Me (and Go to France)? - chapter 1

AN: Hi! This is my first Jily fic so I’m very excited about it. This is going to be a fake dating AU. But between strangers. I hope you like it.

Chapter 2 is now available here

James leaned against the counter of the coffee shop his friend Remus worked at.

“Hey Moony, are you on break soon? I had an idea I wanted to run by you.”

“Well it's not that busy right now so just go ahead. Although if it's to talk about filling Filch's car with apples or some shit, I am very busy and I can't talk right now.”

James put his hand on his heart, taking mock offence. “Apples? Come on Moony, what are we? Amateurs? Obviously we'd pick something stickier. Like those weird honey sweets Peter carries around when he's sick.”

Remus rolled his eyes as he adjusted the blue apron he was wearing. As if to illustrate his previous point, the doorbell jingled. A blonde woman came in and made her way towards the counter, concentrating on the menu which hung above the barista's head. She seemed slightly confused by all the choices available. While Remus left to offer his help to the customer, James took out his phone. After checking his facebook and twitter notifications, which were mostly Peter yelling at everyone about macarons, he opened Matchmakin, the dating app he usually used. He scrolled through the suggested profiles absentmindedly, lifting his eyes every once in a while to check if Remus was coming back soon. He noticed a blur of red disappearing from his screen as he was still scrolling without looking. He went back up and that's when he came across the picture of one Lily Evans, London, a woman with red hair who was quite possibly the love of his life. Because Wow.

Read on AO3

“You do know that app has a messaging system, right? You cannot contact her by staring at her picture for several minutes.”

“Oh sod of, Moony! Just look at her! How could I not?”

“Prongs I can't actually see the picture if you keep shoving it in my face. I know you wear glasses but some of us can actually see just fine by holding the phone at a normal distance.”

“Oh insulting my eyesight? Weak.” Nevertheless, he stopped fidgeting. “Just look.”

“Yeah she's pretty.”

“Pretty? Are we looking at the same picture because that woman is not merely pretty.” This time, James didn't seem to feign being offended.

“Whatever. Don't you have work to do or something?”

“I'm an elementary school teacher. And it's summer? Who's the smart one now, Remus?” James raised his eyebrows, pasting the smuggest smirk on his face.

“Ugh please go annoy Sirius. I have work.”

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus is cancelled

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: why

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did moony do

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: do NOT say the nickname he doesn't deserve it

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: what did I miss

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: did he fill your drink with mustard again

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Remus wtf you swore you'd wait until I was there to do it again

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: you soLeMnlY swOrE

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: I agree with James, Remus is cancelled

Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: stop making me text while working

Remus to Sirius Black ft his fans: Also that meme is aweful Sirius let it go

Wormtail to Sirius Black ft his fans: *insert frozen gif*

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: nEveR

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: can we get back to me pls?

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: I found my soulmate and Remus deamed it as unworthy of his attentionTM

Sirius to Sirius Black ft his fans: Is it a squirrel?

Prongsie to Sirius Black ft his fans: Sirius is cancelled

Prongs to Wormtail: hey so what should I send?

Wormtail to Prongs: ? Elaborate

Prongs to Wormtail: to Lily!!

Wormtail to Prongs: still no idea what you're on about

Prongs to Wormtail: she's this girl on a dating app and she's way too beautiful dqsjihihkf

Wormtail to Prongs: why are you asking me, I thought padfoot was “the expert with the ladies”

Prongs to Wormtail: lmao he said that in middle school. sirius is gay af

Prongs to Wormtail: and i'm ignoring him

Wormtail to Prongs: because of the squirrel thing?

Prongs to Wormtail: please focus. what should I tell Lily

Wormtail to Prongs: well I'd start with hi

Prongs to Wormtail: no that's lame

Prongs to Wormtail: wait I have a great idea

Wormtail to Prongs: no pickup line

Prongs to Wormtail: I was totally not going to say that

Wormtail to Prongs: oh nvm then go ahead

Prongs to Wormtail: okay so maybe I was going to say that

Marlene to your local girl gang: drinks tonight. meet at 8

“To Mary and her angsty poetry!”, Dorcas shouted to make herself be heard despite the noise in the pub. The girls clinked their glasses together before downing the burning liquid as fast as they could. Mary smiled.

“Thanks girls. It really means a lot.”

“Of course we were going to celebrate. It's not everyday our friend's angsty poetry gets published in a magazine!” Marlene said as she gestured for the bartender to come to buy the next round.

“Will you ever stop calling it that?”, the petite girl asked.

“Probably not.” Lily admitted. She squeezed her friend's hand over the table. “We are all really proud of you, Mary.”

Marlene cut in. “Alright enough sentiment guys. Let's drink!”

DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO SOUTHERN FRANCE WITH YOUR NEW BOY/GIRLFRIEND?

We are throwing a contest for the people who have found love with Matchmakin! We are looking for good-looking couples who have met using our app. Participate to maybe win a four-day all-inclusive trip to Nice, France!

To participate, send us a picture of you and your partner with a link to his Matchmakin profile through our contact page (a picture of you together is preferred but separate pictures are accepted). Don't forget to write Matchmakin In Nice as the subject of your message! Five couples will be chosen!

Requirements:

- Participants must be 18 or older

- Participants must reside in the UK

- Participants have to be willing to be filmed several times each day. The footage will be used to promote Matchmakin and will appear on our website as part of a series titled a Match Made in Heaven. Filming will take place in the hotel restaurant, at the pool or the beach, as well as in the city of Nice. To ensure your privacy, participants will never be filmed in their suites and never more than three hours a day. Click here for more info on a Match Made in Heaven.

Mary giggled as she tried to put Marlene's keys in the door for the fourth time. The latter was too occupied by kissing Dorcas' neck to help in any way. Lily just sank to the floor because her legs didn't seem to work anymore. She took her phone out of her purse and opened Matchmakin. She stared determinedly at it until the words stopped being blurry and jumped up once she managed to read the message that had popped up on her screen. She took Mary's hands, who had eventually succeeded in opening the door, and started jumping up and down.

“I don't get it Lils. What are we celebrating now?” Her friend asked as the redhead made her twirl.

“I'm going to France!”

“That's amazing!” Marlene screamed in delight. Dorcas and Marlene had apparently stopped kissing, at least long enough to hear the other girls' conversation. The four women entered the flat.

“Matchmakin is throwing a contest to win a four-day trip to the south of France!!!” Lily explained as she shoved her phone in Mary's hands. The four girls flopped down onto the couch in Marlene and Dorcas' living room.

“Lily wait! It says here that it's only for couples 'who have found love with Matchmakin' ”

“Oh” Lily fell onto the floor. “No France for me I guess… that's seriously so unfair.” Tears welled up in her eyes. Marlene sat up suddenly.

“I have an idea! Mary why don't you make a profile and you guys can pretend to be in love!”, the brunette suggested. Lily high-fived Marlene to congratulate her on this great idea.

“The trip is a week from now. I'm alone at the bakery this month, I can't leave.”, Mary answered. “I'm sorry Lily.”

“Shit, I have work too.” Dorcas said. “Not all of us are eternal students like Miss Lily here.”, she added as she prodded her friend's shoulder with her foot.

“Well it's not my fault if becoming a doctor is so damn long. I wouldn't have done it if I had known.” Lily defended herself.

Mary smiled, albeit a little maniacally. “Yes you would. Because you're smart and nice and I love you.”

“I love you too but I still wanna go to Fraaance!”, she whined, dragging the sound.

“Well just pick someone and ask them if they're free and want to do the contest with you.”

“Dorcas I love you that's such a good idea!”

Lily started crawling on the carpet in search of her phone, before she remembered that she had given it to Mary. She took it back, unlocked it and started to scroll through the profiles.

“I need someone attractive. Just because I want to go to France doesn't mean I'll go with just anyone. Oh what about this guy?” She angled the phone toward her friends, who were still sprawled out on the couch. It seemed Mary had fallen asleep.

Marlene shook her head “Nah, can you imagine kissing that mustache?”

Lily shuddered. “Venom has a mustache. Wait that's not his name. Oh yeah, Ver-non.” She scrolled to the next profile, ignoring Dorcas and Marlene who had started chanting 'venom, venom!'.

“What about her then?”

“She looks too much like Marlene. It's creepy.”

“No she doesn't! I'm much prettier than that!” As Dorcas and Marlene bickered, Lily continued her search.

“He's perfect! It says he's a teacher so he should be on holidays too, right?”

Marlene snorted. “Right cause that's totally why you chose him. Not the fact that he's super hot and has glasses.”

“Glasses?” Dorcas asked.

“Our dear Lily has a thing for glasses.”

Dorcas pondered the idea. “Oh yeah, I totally should have noticed this before.”

Lily took off her shoe and attempted to hit Marlene with it. Unfortunately, she only managed to hit the bottom of the sofa. “I do not. Whatever, gimme the phone back.”

Lily Evans to James Potter: do you want to be in love with me and go to France?

#jily #jily fanfiction #james potter x lily evans #lily evans #james potter #my writing #my stuff #dywtfilwm

19 notes · View notes

finsterhund · 6 years ago

Text

Here lies 2018, a creatively bankrupt year for Finsterhund, but maybe that is for the best.

This year was um... bad... I think. But that doesn't stop me from really being hopeful for the future. I have a dark confession though. I feed off of negativity in a way that scares me and I don’t know how to face it.

Here’s my thoughts about the past year and my hopes for the future. Warning: it gets dark.

This year we moved into a “temporary house” another one, but this time it was one I actually cried because of how much I was actively afraid to live here. That didn't convince my roommates though lmao. No proper bedroom lighting, having to walk through a dark forest to get to the bus stop, and suspicious neighborly activities were things that I had to deal with here. It is oh so fortunate that I will be moving.

After 2017; the Year of Wannabe, being lied to about my dog dying, and getting groomed by someone who was nice to me on the internet (again) I was an emotional wreck. I was paranoid that abusive people like Wannabe, his artist, my dad, the guy I thought was my friend, and others similar might cause issue or be even more of a problem this year. Fortunately, the horrible fears I assumed may transpire and ruin everything did not rip through Internet Land(tm) but I was still kept in a constant state of paranoia.

The antifandom didn't return either, with the exception of a vindictive troll called Zachary. You’ll probably notice that my posts about him trailed off relatively recently. It was revealed that he was dealing with verbally abusive parents. While they don’t excuse his actions, they certainly explained them. I only hope with time he gets out of that environment and learns to express opinions in a healthy way. That’s something I still struggle with. For similar reasons.

A youtube gaming channel did play HoD and spread some false allegations against the game’s devs “as a joke” which was pretty sick and not actually a joke. False allegations are bad. They diminish when people do actual real bad things and make the people who do those bad things feel empowered to say “you are just a call out post maker who hates free speech” and things like that. But fortunately, people who aren't completely stupid didn't believe it.

So despite nothing really serious happening this year, I was still considerably anxious. My mental state has been slowly and surely getting worse every year I’m not medicated, and my physical health has been blatantly declining too. The symptoms of my weaker immune system have been getting worse, and my appetite has been getting bigger. I've found out recently that unlike regular depression and most mental illnesses and disorders, cabin fever can cause heightened appetite and food cravings. For the longest time I felt invalid because my mental illnesses are supposed to take away my appetite, not make it worse, but by finally acknowledging that I suffer from longterm cabin fever, I've come to terms with the fact that it does indeed make sense.

Now to find a way of dealing with cabin fever... haha... ha...ha.

But my situation left me creatively bankrupt. Paranoid, anxious, and very tired. I still did draw and try to write, but that gradually became harder and harder as my laptop began to fail in the summer. In fall, finally, when Microsoft forced that October update, the hard disk stopped for good, and I lost the considerable amount of things left that I hadn't yet backed up. Despite getting a replacement that I can still draw and write with, a big chunk of my passion died with that hard disk. I’m very sentimental, I don’t let go of things easily. The end of an era can make it so that the new era takes way too long to start up from the rubble.

Interestingly enough however, is that the same creative affliction and severe negative downward spiral that killed my ability to draw and write after the death of my laptop also happened to Wannabe’s Artist, for no reason, who sub sequentially just started tanking emotionally. This is something I've noticed a few times. The people who hurt me having bad things happening to them that follow the same trend of bad things happening to me. Wannabe’s computer being plagued by the same Windows 10 updates that killed mine, Wannabe’s Artist losing her passion.

I've come to the conclusion that the reason why the universe forces me to suffer is in order to make the evil people who have done bad things to me suffer as well. It’s a form of balance. I must take the same bullet that they do. I know this is likely my paranoia and psychosis talking, but I really feel that if karma does exist, that is how it works. I take comfort in my suffering, because it has to be this way. Good can only exist because of suffering also existing. If I am to be a lighting rod, I hope that the good that comes as a result of my pain is powerful and beneficial to the other people who receive it.

The internet censorship has gotten worse, but considering where I stand on certain issues now, part of me thinks that’s for the best. Am I willing to sacrifice certain freedoms in order to ensure that evil people don’t feel welcome? Well, I don’t know, but it was nice seeing Wannabe’s Artist almost get banned from multiple websites and actually get banned from several. She made a new tumblr account and it promptly got banned. She made ANOTHER new tumblr account and lost in in the purge. Despite me not liking censorship, there’s a strange poetic justice watching it claim someone you don’t like as the result of nothing more than their own actions.

It’s strange how perspective can change how you think about things. Your world view can shift with one different experience. I hope that I have not been permanently shifted into being a combative person because of this.

There’s a really strange and extremely malicious and negative but still gratifying comfort in knowing that awful people who ruined your life are suffering just the same as you. We all are little mortal beings made of flesh being buffeted around by a cold uncaring world. It was the same feeling I got watching the security footage of my predator birth father being tasered after punching a police officer. Police brutality is wrong, I’ll never say it isn't. But the fact that it is wrong doesn't mean that he didn't deserve it. There’s a sickness deep in my heart to derive enjoyment in the suffering of others, something that I feel destroys what little purity I've managed to hold onto and hoard away and value so highly as a remnant of what I used to be, but I don’t know how to fight it. It feels instinctive to be honest, like gratification or release. I’d like to say that only genuinely awful people suffering make me feel like this, but even some people who I just don’t like will have bad things happen and I’ll have to stop myself from feeling enjoyment from it. Is there a way to cure this? Prevent it? Is it selfishness or is it entirely subconscious? How do I even start not feeling this way. I don’t know. I don’t want it in my life. I want it to stop. But it just fills me before I have a chance to tell myself it’s wrong.

Do I feel awful, guilty, and ashamed that I feel this way? Of course. Do I know that it’s wrong to feel this way? Also yes. At this point though, my vicious hatred of those who have done me wrong is a very powerful motivator. To live just to spite them, to go through hardships to sit back and watch them do the same. To see that those my paranoia-riddled brain deems “powerful beings of abuse” being tripped and cut and crushed by the same mortal perils that make it hard for me to keep on going is a better psychosis cure than anything I've had access to this year. “If it bleeds, we can kill it” that sort of thing. Humanizing these big imposing evils by remembering that they are people, just like me, is the key to getting over my fear of them. The same problems I face are faced by them. How then can they be agents sent by an organization or monsters specifically created by the universe to torment me? We’re all just little dudes. Them included.

I hope with time I can learn to stop delighting in the hardships of others, even if these people are bad, have done bad things, or have done me wrong. It’s a toxic mentality to have those thoughts, even if it’s the fire I need to dig myself out of the pits I've fallen down into.

This year I “lost” a good friend of mine. Lili. I have no way of knowing if you are safe, if you have gotten better, and I refuse to entertain the alternative. You stopped coming online completely and I briefly received anonymous messages from a relative saying you were deathly sick, then nothing. I think of you every day and pray you are alright. I miss you a lot. I hope you’re happy and healthy wherever you are.

This year I had a friend have a cancer scare, and I lost someone I had grown to consider a friend at the beginning of spring to cancer in the summer. I don’t know how to process it. I don’t handle death properly. I've more so been numb and in denial of it. I’m afraid of losing people I care about. They’re the only good in the world to me.

I deny my own mortality, I joke about it, I crave it. But it comes into my mind when I’m trying to sleep too. Apparently I have just short of ten years left, if estimations about atrophy are to be believed. But I am not a statistic, I’m a person. I think “Since I am going to die soon anyways why couldn't I die instead of this person? Why couldn't I be in the hospital. This person deserves to live. They do good in the world. What will I do?” But at the same time, I think “How will I manage to live my dreams in just ten years. How will I have a full life? Maybe they’re wrong and I’ll be 100 years old when I am dead. But what if it is true and I’m just starting to live when it ends? What happens when it ends?” Every year pushes me closer to facing that, and I don’t know how. Once my metabolism slows, what will that mean for my heart? Will it be another fluke where “life finds a way” or will they be right this time? It scares me. It really does. My current plans are expecting that I will need mobility assistance devices then. I deny the expedited mortality. But I think about how I haven’t accomplished much and I feel a strong sense of loss.

Unfortunately, and probably a big reason for my downward spiral was that I set my hopes up for something this year that wouldn't happen, and didn't happen.

2018 Marked the 20th anniversary for Heart of Darkness, and I practically begged and pleaded to the universe, wished on every wishing star, and did everything short of selling my soul for a remake, sequel, art book, remaster, anything.

Needless to say, these efforts were in vain. I watched as other beloved games that I had fond memories of like Spyro and Crash got remastered, hoping and pleading that HoD would follow suit.

And it didn't.

I set myself up for disappointment, which ended up making me feel hopeless as the “Great Heart of Darkness Year” could never have turned out like I had wanted. My mentality for life is usually “expect the least, always be pleasantly surprised when something happens” but for this year I let optimism and hope fly a bit out of control, and sooner or later if it’s not met with real results it’s going to come crashing down.

I’m making it sound like the year was completely awful only made bearable by it also being awful for my mortal enemies, but that wouldn't be entirely true.

I got some really good art at cons, from friends, and just regular fan art that other fans have made and posted. I did get to do some fun things every once in a while, even if my seasonal depression has numbed them all in my mind right now. I’ll come back to this post and add them.

Right at the beginning of the year, (or was it the end of the last year?) I got to have a skype call with Eric. THE ERIC. And he complimented my Andy hat. I didn't post my write up about the call because I felt it wouldn't be fair to overshadow such a wonderful event with all the negativity that was happening at the time the post was finished. So I waited... and waited... and waited... and never did post it. Maybe I should rectify that. And rewrite the post because it was on my old laptop when it died OTL I felt bad because due to my inability to sleep at night I probably looked exhausted to Eric. I hope he didn't think I was bored. But he made HoD, and it’s blatantly obvious how closely I identify to Andy, so it’s likely he understood the reason I looked like a zombie. Sorry Eric. I was excited beyond belief inside. I just didn't let it out verbally for fear of being rude.

We did get to see the Saturn disc. It helped me retain some positivity after this holiday season drug me down into a dark hole.

Was it this year that I got my computer chair? It might not have been but I’m so thankful for how it saved my back and stopped my chronic pain from making it impossible for me to sit and draw that I’ll thank it anyway. Thank you chair.

I’m really grasping at straws but I know there were lots of things I just can’t remember now. I’ll add them later.

My friend Fishy(Rob) was absolutely incredible to me for the entire year. Offering great headcanons, compassionate support, words of encouragement, and donating to me to always ensure the HoD website stays online forever. For Christmas he also sent me Tiny, who I’d like to say has finally gotten along with Whisky stuffy and they can share my bed now no problem. I also report that I loved all the candy he sent me and it was all amazing and I’m now a fan of macadamia nuts. It’s because of Fishy that I didn't completely lose my passion for writing and drawing. I’m going to be posting my finished fanfic after I sleep this morning.

I mean it when I say that Fishy is one of the last great lighthouses shining in the horrible turbulent storm that is whatever the hell my existence has become at this point. Every day I think about how we are friends and it makes me feel happy.

This year I reconnected with my oldest friendship. My funky mushroom pal XP I hope we will get to visit again sometime soon.

I did try to remain close with my friends, but I feel I did drift apart from some friends. I know it’s not either of our faults, life happens, but I want you to know that it wasn't your fault. I just got tired all the quicker this year. Slow, tired, easily overwhelmed. Hopefully next year I can be energetic and close. That’s how I want to be.

My resolutions for this year are probably still the same or similar to last year but I forgot what they were.

Stop being so paranoid and obsessive and scared.

Don’t give up on creative endeavors

Maintain and strengthen my friendships

Get my service dog

Get medications. That’s really important.

Get to see doctors regularly. With my issues I should be seeing one once a month. I haven’t seen one in over a year.

Do things, eat things, see things more

L I V E

Stop taking everything so seriously.

Talk more to Fishy and my friends in general.

Stand up for myself, even to people who are in authority or who I trust.

Learn to let things go.

Make some great HoD stuff.

Don’t put off fun things like video games because I don’t feel I “deserve” them.

Permanently kill the part of me that delights in the suffering of others. I don’t know how, but I’m gunna try. I want to be pure again, and as much as I feel that that was stolen from me, it’s mine to reclaim and I've just gotta work hard for it.

Purity is a state of mind. I need to live that state of mind and realize that that will be infinitely more important than biting and lashing out in an effort to “avenge” it.

With that being said, I really do feel that a lot of my problems can be negated by having access to mental health specialists, doctors, medicine, fresh air, things to do, exercise, and more regular meals. I hope that the new year will bring more availability to these things as they will prove to be very important in improving my health and mood.

In closing, I am immensely grateful for my friends, for Heart of Darkness, for the people who made Heart of Darkness, for dogs, for art, for the internet (only sometimes, other times it’s a curse), for food, for iced tea, and for the good moments this year had because of these things. As always, thank you for the people who stayed with me despite this severe turbulence. I really cannot begin to thank you for your patience. Staying with me despite how I am shows a lot of faith that I still have a chance to improve and get better and live life on the right track. Thank you for believing in me. I’ll try not to let you down in 2019.

Love you all.

#text post #long post #2018 in review #negative #thanks guys

1 note · View note