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casspurrjoybell-20 · 5 months ago

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FOOLS IN LOVE - Chapter 27 - Part 1 BOOK THREE: 'Fools Fall in Love' Trilogy

*Warning - Adult Content*

Samuel Moretti

"So, we all got what we wanted last night," Ciera commented the first words since we all gathered in the kitchen.

What brought Ciera to this conclusion?

Noah was making iced coffees, only in his briefs and had a small smile on his face while doing so.

I was shamelessly watching him from the kitchen table, my face in my hands while my elbows propped me up, also with a silly smile on my face.

Ciera and Kaitlyn were sitting on the stools.

Ciera's hand on her thigh while Kaitlyn unconsciously played with Ciera's free hand.

So yeah, it was safe to say we were all pretty happy.

One very obvious reason, we got laid last night with the person we wanted to get laid by.

Ciera's comment got three responses.

"Hahaha," a giggle from Kaitlyn.

"I definitely did," from me, as I beamed even more at Noah and a sarcastic Quip from Noah.

"You pick up quick," from Noah before he placed my cup of coffee in front of me, leant lower to place a kiss on my lips and took a seat next to me.

"What's up with you two? I assume Boring Benjamin is out of the picture and you two are back to being happily in love?" Ciera asked, in her signature dry tone.

Noah turned to me.

"Wanna answer that one, Sweetheart?" his tone was dry.

'Ugh.'

"Not exaaactly," I drew out to Ciera.

"What does that mean?" Kaitlyn pondered.

"Meaning, Kaitlyn, that Boring Benjamin and Sam are still cute, adorable boyfriends," Noah spoke passive aggressively.

"Hey," I said firmly.

"That's changing today."

"Hmm, well, good luck with that," Ciera said as she stood up then held her hand out to Kaitlyn which she grabbed and stood up as well.

"We're going out today and need to get ready, so you kids have fun," and she lead them to Ciera's bedroom.

Once out of sight, I reiterated to Noah...

"I'm going to break up with him. You know I want to be with you."

"I know. I just hate the thought of you two together for a second longer than is necessary," he grimaced.

I shook my head and sighed.

Then I thought about last night, not the good part with Noah, the event before that: Jude.

"Can, uh... can we make breakfast?" I asked timidly, my anxiety beginning to shuffle awake in my stomach.

The thought of eating had me feeling a little nauseous but what really had me feeling sick was a more gruesome thought.

What if I ever get stuck in that situation again?

Someone like Jude taking advantage of me.

I wasn't strong enough to fight him off and I knew the reason for that, my lack of eating.

Noah looked surprised at my question.

"Oh, um. Yeah, definitely. Why do you...? I mean, you want to...?"

"I just..." I looked down, suddenly feeling embarrassed about last night.

I fidgeted with a napkin that laid in front of me, folding and unfolding it over and over as I spoke.

"I was too weak to push Jude away... if that happened again..."

"It won't happen again," Noah said firmly, with an edge of anger to his words.

I gave him a look.

"You should know that anyone can be cruel and take advantage of someone. I'm not talking just about Jude but it's a scary world we live in and you're not always going to be able to save me."

I took a deep breath.

"And since last night I realized... not eating is more dangerous than I thought. It makes me weak and I don't want to be weak."

Then mumbling...

"Even though it'll be hard."

Noah was silent, absorbing my words until he stepped in front of me.

He gently took the napkin from my hands and set it down before slipping his hands in mine.

He tugged me to stand up then wrapped his arms around me, my arms going around his waist.

"We'll take it one day at a time, okay?"

I nodded against his chest but I really felt like crying from how overwhelmed I felt.

Noah placed a soft kiss on the top of my head.

I swiped my hand quickly under my eyes before we pulled back.

"Let's make breakfast," Noah said.

**********

Noah dropped me off at my dorm, giving me a kiss goodbye, then drove off.

I didn't stay in my dorm for long, I changed my outfit, freshened up, then headed to a bus stop.

After a few stops, I was in front of Benjamin's dormitory.

On his floor, I knocked on his dorm room's door.

My anxiety only gotten worse when I arrived at Benjamin's.

I didn't want to break up with him.

I wanted us to be over, I just didn't want to have to be the one to end it.

Sure, there were big red flags for Benjamin but I still cared greatly for him.

I didn't want to break his heart.

I wasn't excited in any sense of the word once Benjamin opened the door.

"Baby," was his form of greeting as he pulled me into a hug.

"Thank God," he breathed out a shaky breath and I realized he was crying.

My body was itching with guilt.

Did he know I slept with Noah?

No, how would he know?

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, hugging him back.

Then he cried harder in my should.

"My Grandma. She... she died last night."

My heart dropped and I pulled back to look at him

"Oh my God, Ben. I'm so sorry I didn't answer your call."

He shook his head.

"No, it happened around two am. She died in her sleep and my Mom just called me and told me."

I wrapped my arms around him,

"I'm so sorry," I spoke genuinely.

Benjamin was very close to his Grandparents, they were more his parents than his actual parents but his Grandma had been battling with cancer for a while.

Then a terrible thought struck me.

I can't break up with him now.

How shitty would that me?

'Oh my God.'

"Come home with me. The funeral's on Wednesday. My Grandma loved you and I need you," he said.

I had met his Grandparents quite a few times and gotten to know them.

They were sweet and kind to me and Benjamin was right. his Grandma loved me.

'I'm so sorry, Noah.'

"Of course," I agreed but what else could I say?

I couldn't break up with Benjamin the same day his grandma died.

So I'll show him my full support and go to the funeral and then afterwards I'll end it.

That seemed like a simple enough plan.

I just had to tell Noah.

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visioncast · 9 months ago

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Real Madrid vs. Man City: The Clash of Titans (Plus Get the Best IPTV Experience with Netvlive)

A football matchup of legendary proportions is about to unfold! The Champions League match between Real Madrid and Manchester City tomorrow can decide the outcome of the campaign. Not only is this a match between two illustrious clubs, but it's also a superstar clash featuring Jude Bellingham and young guns Erling Haaland. Additionally, Netvlive's premium IPTV package will allow you to watch this match in all of its magnificence.

The Bellingham-Haaland Factor Erling Haaland and Jude Bellingham are two of the brightest young stars in the world. Bellingham's mastery of the midfield is drawing attention, while Haaland's goal-scoring ability for Man City is nothing short of amazing. For football fans everywhere, their matchup in this crucial game will be a delight and a tribute to the next generation of talent

The Comeback of Real Madrid Never discount Real Madrid. With a storied Champions League history and seasoned players like Jude and Modric still playing at the highest levels, they pose a constant danger. Their ability to withstand Manchester City's explosive might will be put to the test in this match. Netvlive: The Complete Matchday Friend Do you want to add even more special touches to this match? With Netvlive, your top IPTV supplier, you may experience it. Our low prices, dependable service, and crystal-clear streams ensure you won't miss a single exhilarating moment. IPTV Live Sports Streaming Football Call to Action Don't pass on this thrilling battle! Get the greatest football streaming experience by registering with Netvlive right now : https://netvlive.com/

#champions league #real madrid #iptv subscription #iptv usa #iptv firestick #adult iptv #iptv

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beloved-daydreams · 1 year ago

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I'd like to add more into this!!! I hope you don't mind.

If Jude is fight, Vivi is flight and Taryn is fawn then I think Oak might be freeze.

In the stolen heir, it seems like he freezes before he switches into "murder mode" and to me this seems like he deliberately NEEDS to "dissociate" himself from the situation in order to act. It's not that he's not himself when he's murdering but there's definitely a switch in his mind that needs to be triggered or else he just stands there, taking the hits. The fae around him say that this is his way of deceiving others into believing he's weak and while I'm sure there's some truth to that, I also think he actually wants to avoid killing, to avoid fighting because once he starts he can't stop. Tiernan makes that clear, so why can't Oak stop? I bet it's because if he stops, he freezes and once he freezes, he's fucked. He needs to keep moving, to keep fighting until the literal end. He forces himself to do it for survival.

Now getting back to Taryn, I'd like to say that ultimately the life she had chosen with Locke wasn't because she agreed with his methods and outlook on life, although she felt a little bit of satisfaction on "getting back" to them (as we saw in the lost sisters) I don't think she necessarily wanted to live her whole life like that. She did what she needed because she assumed that once she got it, she wouldn't have to anymore, she just wanted to be safe, to be cared for. But what made her kill him? When he said that her story was over. She hated that. Because she went through all of that pain and trickery bullshit to end with a husband who doesn't value her? Who doesn't value the pain and the lengths she goes through to belong? Who thinks she has nothing left in her? She knows how much he loves drama, how much he loves watching "stories" unfold in front of him so what he said was possibly the most insulting thing he could've said. It's the equivalent of saying "you're not interesting to me anymore, I don't care about you" and Taryn knows that. (Also, I'd like to add how the narration makes it clear that Taryn takes Oriana as an example to follow but killing Locke was a very Madoc thing to do, THUS the readers liked it. Because we know Jude is more like Madoc and we like Jude.)

We know that overall, Taryn was the "better liked" twin because she was easier to deal with. Not only from their parents' pov (Oriana and Madoc) but also from the other fae. A small detail that I found interesting in the first book was how, when Taryn agrees to kiss Cardan on the cheek to save herself, Valerian treats her well. I don't remember the exact wording but it was something along the lines of "Valerian takes her hand to help her up, out of the water, as if she's a great lady". Which is funny, isn't? Valerian who we know is brutal and clearly hates humans. Who sets fae on fire for the heck of it. Taryn managed to make herself appear so inoffensive, so beautiful that she made Valerian of all people treat her carefully in that one moment. So lovely that she made a piece of shit act decent.

Jude notes how good she is at blending in, at saying the right thing, at wearing the right thing. When Jude pretended to be Taryn, she saw how she had completely redecorated Locke's castle, she saw the beautiful dresses she owns, she saw how she would get a faerie fruit for dinner??? (So like, did she drug herself for fun? Now the question is, did she do it just to feel good or did Locke say it would be fun? OR that's how she unwinds? So many questions. Or it could also be a poison type of situation like with Jude? Maybe Taryn was building resistance against the fruit because she knows Locke loves entertainment and he wouldn't mind her wife getting high off her ass in front of guests? That he would even encourage it?)

So what I'm trying to get at here is that, we literally saw Jude try to act like her for about half of the third book and we saw how in its own way, it's also really difficult to be Taryn. She just chose a different "battlefield", one where she's more skilled than Jude.

We also know that Taryn didn't know about how, the day before her wedding, Locke had sent fae after Jude to hurt/kill her??? And she even asks Jude why she didn't tell her earlier which shows that Taryn CLEARLY doesn't like how Locke sees even her family members as playthings. Later on, seeing how Jude almost fucking died she really comes through for her in the third book. I bet she partly blames herself since it happened because Jude had to take her place. So after that, she gets her hands on The Ghost to make him join them and makes sure Jude looks grand when she's Queen.

Little side-note: it was very strongly hinted that The Ghost has a thing for Taryn after that and I believe they would be a great match because they're pretty similar in some aspects. Ghost's thing is blending into the shadows, Taryn's thing is blending amongst other fae. And The Ghost being half-fae will probably make him "easy to deal with" since their humanity is another thing they have in common.

Anyway, at this point I'm rambling, but I firmly believe that Taryn's way of acting and navigating the fae world is much more like how most people would choose to do it since it is the "safest" and smartest option in the long run. To make yourself look vulnerable and pleasant so the fae don't feel threatened. When I first read the cruel prince and had no idea that Taryn was "betraying" Jude, I'm not gonna lie, I found myself agreeing on a lot of things with her. Like, yes it's embarrassing to kneel, it's embarrassing to surrender but seeing how the first 10 or so chapters of the book are showing us just how dangerous it is to go against the fae, I very much felt fear for Jude who kept rebelling again and again, knowing that she'll get fucked over later.

But I'd like to add: although Taryn was "betraying" Jude, we know that Jude has always had this rebellious and daredevil aspect to her. Especially thanks to htkoelths, where we see her talk trash in front of Cardan, and Taryn is silently freaking out. It makes me believe that it has always been this way, Jude goes against the fae -> the twins get in trouble. Now I'm not saying Jude is wrong, I'm just saying Taryn's frustration and fear is also really understandable and I think many of us, as much as we'd like to be a Jude, we would most likely be more of a Taryn. Let's not lie to ourselves.

Hey! I wanted to know why Taryn's character gets a lot of hate even tho she was trying to survive in faerie just as Jude did. Except her way of survival was more traditionally feminine and demure.

this has honestly been my point since like... forever lmao. if you've been on my blog for any length of time, you'll know i'm a pretty big Taryn apologist. i speak more about it in this post. but essentially, it's exactly what you said. and i have more to say.

[DISCLAIMER: this post is tagged as pro-Taryn Duarte. any comments or asks i receive expressing the reason why You Hate Taryn are entirely unsolicited and will be deleted on sight. if you don't like my opinion you can block the pro-Taryn Duarte tag, and scroll away.]

I. Me, harping on about Madoc deserving more of the fandom's scorn, part 300

it will always boggle my mind how this fandom allows Madoc every grace of "the complex character/relationship" but we don't afford Taryn even remotely the same attempt at understanding. even when Madoc committed infinitely more betrayals, infinitely more attrocities, than Taryn ever committed–or indeed has had time to commit given her extremely young age (compared to Madoc's centuries of life).

that's not to say i don't love Madoc. i think he's a great villain and his character, particularly his relationship with his children, is very complex. but why can't this be the same way we treat Taryn?

regardless of this blatant double-standard, people still hate her, and i think it has a lot to do with (as you said) the way Taryn handles her traumatic life events.

II. Trauma Responses and How They Are Received

[FOR LEGAL REASONS, THIS POST IS DISCUSSING HOW THE TRAUMA RESPONSES ARE PERCEIVED STRICTLY IN TERMS OF CHARACTERS, NOT IRL PEOPLE/SITUATIONS!]

i've discussed this on here before, but the Duarte sisters exhibit three out of the four recognised trauma responses in the way they cope with their parents' death/being taken to Faerie:

Jude- fight

Vivi- flight

Taryn- fawn

i think we can all agree that, in terms of what an audience wants to see from characters, Jude's fight response is the most palatable of the three. not only because she is the main character (and thus, everything is from her perspective/justified in her eyes), but also because it is what i believe most of us would want to be able to do ourselves in the face of adversity and hardship.

it's the most commendable. it is probably also the hardest to maintain (as is made apparent by the series as a whole). which is why the other two sisters employ alternative modes of survival.

as discussed in this post, Vivi survives by escaping. whenever and however she can. i'm not sure how everyone feels about this one. until recently, i had no idea people even had strong opinions about Vivi.

but i do know that the flight response could be considered a bit cowardly, even if it's effective. if there's anything to be respected about it, though, it's that the person knows in no uncertain terms that they are not cut out for facing the trauma head-on. and they are the first one to admit it.

the fawn response, however, is a kind of camouflage. it's doing everything in your power to be perceived a certain way, to fit in, to please people.

the thing i think people dislike about the fawn response, is that (if you twist the perspective enough) it could be viewed as dishonest. deceptive or manipulative. perhaps even spineless, depending on the situation.

and indeed, these are all phrases i've seen thrown around in close proximity to Taryn's name.

throughout the book, Taryn plays nice in order to get people to like her. she does whatever the fae tell her to do, even at the expense of her own or her sister's humiliation. and instead of making her own place at court, she announces that she will "fall in love" to earn her seat. meaning that she will rely on one of the fae (likely someone with station) to give her the privilege of staying at court, through means of marriage or children.

it's a more passive route to survival than Jude's. but that route isn't any less valid. it's just less masculine.

III. Active vs. Passive (and how it leads to misguided sensationalism)

society has taught us not to see passivity as a mode of operation, and unfortunately, this makes for overtly sensationalised (and therefore inaccurate) interpretations of character.

if the only actions a character takes are deceptive ones, we conclude they are intentionally deceiving people. if the character doesn't act at all, they are apathetic people. no matter the character's own motives. if they do not act the way we wish them to act, they must be in direct opposition to what we want.

take Taryn, for example. if her modus operandi is to camouflage, or passively fit in, we don't recognise this as an action. rather, we look at what she does do.

in order to achieve her goal, Taryn must actively betray her sister (multiple times), lie to her (multiple times), and kill her husband in cold blood (an attribute, if you ask me, but whatever). through these actions, we, as the audience, realise Taryn is not nice. but she portrays herself this way so she can get what she wants. as all good writing does, we are made to feel deceived right along with Jude.

but even though Jude herself forgives Taryn eventually, we still dislike her. because she is not our sister. she is not the main character. she doesn't mean much to us. we don't regard her as a nuanced person–she becomes, to many, this two-dimensional "enemy" or "other".

and if you aren't thinking critically about the text, and instead take the story personally, then yeah. you're going to hate Taryn at the end of it all.

people have a way of interpreting actions as the sole basis of character, while disregarding motive or intention. i don't think this wise. it's reductive at best, disingenuous at worst.

actions are a product of our nature and the conditions of our environment. Taryn is in just as much peril as Jude is in Faerie. the only reason you, dear reader, might not like Taryn is because she didn't act how you wanted her to act, and because she didn't act how you wanted her to act, she ended up hurting someone you care about (Jude).

this well-meaning loyalty unfortunately doesn't do much for an accomplished understanding of the text. which i get it. some of us are just here for fun and that's fine. but if you take the time to hate a character with as much passion as people seem to hate Taryn, you have time to think at least a little bit critically about the text.

—Em 🖤🗡

more theories & analysis

#taryn duarte #jude duarte #the folk of the air #tfota #the lost sisters #htkoelths #the cruel prince #the queen of nothing #character analysis #oak greenbriar #the stolen hair #how the king of elfhame learned to hate stories

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steviewashere · 1 year ago

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Ranting, Sorry.

I'm reading this book called A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It's an excellent read, I recommend it so far. Very human and very personal and very intimate—just great all around.

It centers around this character named Jude and his relationships with several friends in his circle. How he perceives being a disabled adult, while also becoming very successful in the field of law, the ins and outs of sexual trauma. It's deep, it explores it all.

The thing I'm choosing to focus on right now, however, is him and his thought on being a disabled person. For reference, he was in an accident—it scarred his back, his body developed chronic pain, and he's reliant on walking aides for his mobility. One of his largest fears in the book is that his friends, his colleagues, the acquaintances that wade in and out of his life, they will see him as less of Jude and being a person; but rather define him wholly by his disability. That they'll use it to mock him, to force him to be less than and degenerate under their feet, that it'll come back to bite him in the ass. He worries that he's perceived as just the way he walks or talks or moves. That he is less human and more the thing that separates him—does this all make sense?

Anyway. I am someone who has chronic migraines and chronic pain. His fears are my fears, even if mine are lesser and more invisible. (Solely because there is nothing visible on me to highlight me as disabled, but it's still there. Just because you can't see it, doesn't mean it's not there.) And I have people in my family who are disabled, who I've been advocating for since I was younger.

But this makes me more aware of how people interact with or talk about disabled people online.

Here's an example:

Some twenty minutes ago, give or take, I was scrolling on TikTok. (Which, in itself is a hellscape and has rotted my brain like the spread of mold.) But somebody on there is posting clips from Michael J. Fox's documentary, Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie (which you can watch on Apple TV+).

And in these clips, Michael J. Fox talks very openly, while also recalling solemnly, the diagnosis for Parkinson's Disease. His complete and utter shock. The way it was described to him as being degenerative, incurable, etc. Even the slight horror in the realization that he's young at the time of this diagnosis, that it will affect his acting career, things along these lines.

Which, to take a quick sideline here, Parkinson's is a pretty devastating disease. It's a disease in the brain that causes the breaking down of a person's nervous system. Which affects how a person may move—things like tremors, stiffness, loss of balance as some of the first signs. And again, it's incurable. It's something that just unfolds as a person ages. It doesn't go away. There's no way to extinguish it, does that make sense? The best way to soothe the symptoms is by taking medications, but these medicines do not eradicate the disease.

Okay, now that I've explained a little bit.

I was just baffled, completely and utterly baffled by what people were saying in the comments of these clips. Things like "It's so hard to watch," and "It's been hard to see him go through this for decades," and the list goes on. But those being the two that truly, honestly, angered me to my core.

This is what A Little Life was talking about. When a person opens up about their disability, they are hoping for support, for enthusiastic and positive questions: How can I help? Is there anything that I can do that would better support you? And especially comments like, This does not change how I view you. And you are the same person to me.

Because that's what it should be! You shouldn't see a disabled person and want to look away because it's hard on you to see. How absolutely diabolical to hear. Take off the skin of being uncomfortable for a moment, a second. I want you—if you've made a comment like any of the negative ones that I've seen or you've witnessed these comments with your own eyes—to imagine what it's like for the disabled person in some ways.

The person may be used to their disability, but that doesn't mean that all insecurities are immediately out of the question. Maybe they're hidden, maybe they're skin deep, maybe they're so far inside of them that it takes the absolute most to pull offense from them.

But disabled people, myself included, want to be viewed as just a person. Like anybody else. That's it. Watering disabled people down to just their disability, or how their disability makes you uncomfortable—that's an awful thing to do, it's an ableist way of seeing the world.

Have more respect and dignity. And keep the uncomfortable to yourself. We deserve the same space and existence as you do. No matter celebrity status, career level, gender, sexuality, or otherwise.

Making comments on how difficult it is to see a disabled person experience their disability, that is a horrid thing to do. And I hope every single person realizes that.

#rant post #disabled people are people #stop treating us like something other or like garbage

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dannyreviews · 3 years ago

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The Crying Game (1992)

Picture that it’s 2004, the height of Blockbuster Video and it’s another day of renting movies for the week. One title you keep hearing about is “The Crying Game” and not so much for the film itself, but for the plot twist. The internet wasn’t as full blown as it is today so you wonder what everyone was talking about a decade earlier. You watch the film and then you don’t care about the twist, and you get into the story, the characters and how everything will resolve itself. That week I rented “The Crying Game”, I did something I never did before and that was watch the film twice during the rental. 18 years later and about 30 viewings later, this film has become an all time favorite of mine and has opened my eyes to how flexible a film could be and the many possibilities it can take.

The film opens with a British soldier named Jody (Forest Whitaker), who is kidnapped and held hostage by an IRA ring led by Jude (Miranda Richardson) and Maguire (Adrian Dunbar). Both of them are uncaring and ruthless, but it’s underling Fergus (Stephen Rea) that winds up befriending the hostage, who’s days away from possibly being executed. Jody tells Fergus about his life on the outside, with his girlfriend Dil (Jaye Davidson), a London hairdresser. When Jody dies in a botched escape, Fergus tracks Dil down to her London neighborhood, and the two become romantically entangled. Jude and Maguire, in turn track Fergus down themselves and try to rope him into a plot to assassinate a judge, but Fergus is torn between his love and care for Dil and his allegiance to the IRA. Which direction will he take?

Writer and director Neil Jordan was the best possible person to be at the wheel for this film, which if in other hands might have turned into a convoluted B or C-grade dud. Jordan divides the film into three parts that are so intricate in style, mood and genre that you think you’re watching three different movies. The first part is a chamber piece between hostage and captor. The second part is a romantic drama that is subtle in its subject. Finally, the film turns into a thriller with a gratifying climax and then the coda returns to the themes of the opener. Jordan segues through each portion flawlessly and the seams don’t show because the story is that involved and deep where you pay attention to every detail. In my case, with each subsequent viewing, I’m just as enthralled by the screenwriting and the requirements of each character in relation to the plot. This is why “The Crying Game” had to win Best Original Screenplay, not because of the famous plot twist, which plays no crucial role in the unfolding events, but because of its unique method of putting the plot together.

“The Crying Game” was Stephen Rea’s introduction to American audiences and he gives the best performance of his long career as Fergus. He makes the biggest shift in maturity, from a mindless follower to a somewhat reformed man. Miranda Richardson, who I think is one of the greatest actresses of the last 40 years, is simply superb as Jude. Not many films have a female villain and especially one like Jude that has no feeling or empathy. Richardson personifies Jude’s evil to a T, from pistol whipping Jody to intimidating Fergus and Dil outside the bar. The very underrated Adrian Dunbar is also excellent as Maguire, with a more muted evil to his demeanor, a contrast to his supporting role in “A World Apart”. Forest Whitaker, though only on screen for the first half hour, makes his short time on screen count for something. Jody is a regular person caught up in the worst possible situation and Whitaker holds nothing back. And then there’s Jaye Davidson, who steals the show as Dil, a character that seems normal and hardworking, but there’s something hidden that we the audience want to know.

The drawback of “The Crying Game” is that during its release in the US, the subject of the twist was turned into a late night punchline. Many people didn’t care what the film was about, and just wanted to pay money to see what the fuss was about. I would like to think that out of all the people that went in with their mind on the joke, the majority came out enthralled with their lower jaw agape at the complexity of the film. The twist only takes up a scintilla of time, and before you know it, you’ve forgotten what it was. That’s another reason why the film won Best Original Screenplay. Jordan is telling you to look here, and then does a complete 180 by giving the audience their money’s worth with the climax that really should’ve been what people were talking about. “Don’t see it for the twist, see it for the resolution.”

Despite the manufactured joke, “The Crying Game” was a box office smash and a major contender at that years Oscars, scoring nominations for Best Picture, acting nods for Rea and Davidson and Best Director, apart from its Screenplay win. I would’ve nominated Richardson for Best Supporting Actress for “The Crying Game” instead of her one scene standout performance in “Damage” that same year. I think she would’ve won if the nomination was changed. It’s probably her most rich and flawless performance in her long career along with “Tom and Viv”. “The Crying Game” is a representation of a time when filmmakers took chances on their movies and stood out, something that is very lacking today, where 90% of the mainstream award winning films are homogenized mush. People will remember “The Crying Game” for years down the road, can you say the same thing about the past few Best Picture winners?

10/10

#dannyreviews #the crying game #neil jordan #forest whitaker #miranda richardson #adrian dunbar #stephen rea #jaye davidson #ira #ireland #irish republican army

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adonis-koo · 2 years ago

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Book Review: Folk of Air

I cannot believe it’s taken me this long to write this but I felt like I’m order to review the books, I wanted to read all of them before I gave a review! (Mind you I’ve read the main trilogy but I’m aware there are two complimentary novella books that I’ve yet to read, so I will not be touching on them.)

There was definitely aspects to this book that I absolutely adored, one of those things are surprisingly the first person POV, I feel like anyone who’s been on my blog for awhile probably knows by now that I’m not a fan of first person stories (particularly in the YA genre for many reasons) but I adored Jude’s narration.

Her grapple with feeling powerless and wanting power had me right there with her, on the edge of my seat rooting for her even in her worst moments, her powerful declaration of becoming worse then her enemies if she couldn’t be better. Willingly positioning herself to make herself stronger. But more then anything, I personally enjoyed the fact that Jude doesn’t try to justify her actions.

She’s very aware of what she’s doing, she knows her actions are heinous from the very moment she joins the Court of Shadows. It was such a slow trickling water fall of disaster honestly, I loved the slow build up in the series of Jude’s lust for power, first starting with the gias to not be charmed, twisting into grappling for the crown and eventually taking Cardan under her control.

Not only this but her sheer determination to do something was thoroughly enjoyable to read and watch unfold, even when she lost the battles or took the hits, watching her grit her teeth and her back up was easily one of my favorite aspects of her character (also her pure spiteful nature deeply resonates with me so maybe I’m biased)

I was also highly enjoyed her complex relationship with Madoc which was tainted from the very moment the book started. Him murdering her parents and fostering her and her sisters. The constant push and pull of their relationship and going from family to enemies.

Cardan was also a very fun character to read! While he was indeed cruel in the first book. There was just something so charming about his delivery, the longing stares that are filled with both yearning and anger. Not only that but the way he transitioned into enjoying his position as the king in the second book.

‘kiss me again, kiss me until I’m sick of it’ 😵‍💫

There’s so many things I enjoyed about this series, but out of all of them, I somehow really enjoyed the first book the best, watching Cardan and Jude continuously attempt to one up each other on pranks, and it eventually leading to her killing his best friend was just…🤣 horrendous but somehow amusing (granted she didn’t kill him to spite Cardan but you get my point)

But while I enjoyed this book, now that I’ve read the main trilogy I can’t help but wish there was more too it. Holly did an amazing job on some aspects of this book, but there were others I felt that severely lacked.

(I would also just like to state that these are my feelings and opinions and that while I feel it’s shame, I still believe it’s a great series to read!)

A lot of the characters felt very one demisonal to me, and maybe it’s because I’m a writer and reader who enjoys character relationships, I feel like they really make the story great, a great plot helps, I feel like strong we’ll rounded characters count the most. There’s more then plenty of examples.

The first being Jude’s sisters, Taryn and Vivi. We know them but at the same time we really don’t. Vivi was the one who swore to never forgive Madoc and so I assumed she would play a much bigger role in the series then she did, she’s a typical eldest rebel child who is, at most, a minor annoyance to the dad. I was really hoping we would see more of her pain and anguish against Madoc for murdering their parents (as she was the oldest and probably remembers it the best). But the most we see is a lack luster character who kinda remains me of a sassy Y/n from a draco x reader fanfic on wattpad.

(I’m writing this at 2 in the morning with only four hours of sleep so please bare with me)

We do get to see more of Taryn’s side of things during the first book, but once Jude decided to join the court of shadows, all bets are off, and so I felt like that would’ve been a good jumping off point to dive into the riff and feelings of alienation from her sister. But alas, that wasn’t really there either.

We also have Orianna, she first read as “the ugly step mother” trope but turns out she is just a very mild version of it and only to Jude due to how rebellious she is, and I once again would have loved to have seen their relationship played out in more detail.

The last character is unfortunately Cardan, and listen I LOVE him, I truly do, but I feel like we as the reader, don’t know much about him. I find it a bit odd that despite having two books titled after him, there really isn’t many scenes in the story with him in it, not only this but at the end of book one, he becomes the pentacle of the whole plot.

So I feel as though he should’ve been more included in scenes or had more then he did, and furthermore, their relationship. I went into the book knowing the romance was a subplot, but when the feelings are that conflicted by book two…😭 I’m sorry but it felt like it really should have been more at the forefront of the plot.

My policy with writing is “show don’t tell” so while I know Jude was conflicted with her feelings for Cardan is was shown so little that it felt only a little forced, especially given their lack of scenes together. And listen I’m not advocating for more romance. But moreso advocating for better tension, it the conflict is brought up during narration a lot but we don’t see it in action during the scenes except for a few times throughout the whole series. I feel like telling that side of the plot rather then showing it really didn’t help it’s case.

Cardan has some very memorable lines he says to her but it was difficult to really feel into it because they really only have about four scenes in the whole trilogy where there is tension of feelings involved. And if Cardan was a side character this would have gotten a pass, but he isn’t, he’s the main supporting male in the series that is at the center of the plot. Objectively, it all would’ve felt a lot more seamless to me if the conflict was more present in the plot then it was. This wouldn’t have required a lot of changes imo, just more dialogue between them with the right wording in any scenes and it wouldn’t just have to be them.

My point being it could have been worked better into the main plot that takes center stage.

I don’t want to be too harsh on the series of course! I still enjoyed reading it! But there was definitely some unmistakable flaws in the story that are difficult to forget. Publishing houses can be picky with word count so maybe a lot of things had to be edited out to fit a word count. It really seems that way because there’s so many characters and so little time to go into depth about all of them.

That isn’t to say it’s neccasary to go into depths with all of the characters but a heart to heart conversation between some and Jude would’ve done them a lot of favor in making them more fleshed out. That’s really my biggest let down with the story, so many characters have potential but a lot of them fell very flat. Another example being the gang at the Court of Shadows. We were introduced to Roach, Ghost and Bomb but hardly got any screen time with any of them during book 1.

But I wanted to wait for judgment on that because I thought we’ll maybe this is just setting the stage for book 2, and while in a way it very much was. We still didn’t get to see much of their side of things or really see them build any relationship with Jude.

In closing I definitely see the appeal of the Folk of Air series, it was very captivating and I thoroughly enjoyed the plot of Jude’s rise to power, the grapple to control it and her fall from grace. The ending was very nice! I was really curious to see how Madoc’s ending would play out as he is an integral character to the series but up until the moment I couldn’t see any other ending for him aside from dying by Jude in someway. I really enjoyed the plot twist of exiling him to the mortal world!

Even more so I loved that the series started in the mortal world and it ended in the mortal world with the final toast to scheming good schemes. All in total I’d rate the series a

⭐️ 3 out of 5 ⭐️

If you have any book recommendations you’d like to give or her my thoughts on please let me know down below! 👇

#missy book review #inbox is open temporary for discussions of the series id love to hear your guys opinions on it!

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kevin-day-is-bi · 4 years ago

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For my dear @frenemies-to-lovers , who is my Knife Wife!! This did turn out on the long side, but I hope you like it!

It’s a Human Thing

Cardan was absolutely, completely, and totally in love with the girl in front of him. He was also not able to focus on how amazing she was because of how odd his human pants felt against his skin. Jeans, Jude had said, thrusting them into his arms. They, she had told him, were going to buy presents. And now they were in this store, this store that was bigger than the High King’s Palace in Elfhame, where everything was bright red. Jude had a list clutched in one hand and was pushing a shopping cart, as she had called it.

“Okay,” She said, turning the cart down an aisle. “We both need to think of something for Taryn. I am going to get her a new scarf. A human scarf.” She turned to me. “You need to get her something, too.”

Cardan frowned, staring at what they were walking past. He pulled one off the shelf and popped off the lid. It was a candle.

“It’s a scented candle.” He looked up at Jude. She was leaning on the cart and smiling slightly. “Sniff it.”

He raised an eyebrow at her, then sniffed the candle lightly. It smelled like vanilla. Cardan hummed and looked at the other candles on the shelf. He pulled another one off and smelled it. It’s light, jasmine. He held it out to Jude.

“Would Taryn like this?” She smelled it and nodded. He tossed it in the cart and they kept shopping.

This was going to be Jude and Taryn’s first Christmas since they were stolen. In Elfhame, they celebrated Solstice. They celebrated it much like they celebrated everything else, with drink and dancing until dawn. Cardan had been assured that they still had drinking and dancing for Christmas, but that there were a few important differences.

Vivienne and Heather were hosting a party Christmas Eve and Christmas day, and Jude had invited the original Court of Shadows to come. Somehow, three humans and six fae were going to fit into Heather’s incredibly small apartment. When Cardan had voiced his worry, Jude had given him a look.

Cardan received a lot of looks from Jude. There was a ‘you are being very annoying’ look, a ‘you need to stop drinking now’ look, a ‘you are making me very turned on in the middle of this important meeting’ look. Cardan felt he gained a new look at least once a week. This was a new one. He was pretty sure it meant ‘if you ruin this for me I will cut off your head with Nightfell’. So he had simply assured her they would easily find the space and changed the subject.

“Ok!” Jude said, tossing a soft-looking midnight blue scarf into the cart. “Ready to go? We still need to wrap them.”

…

“Explain the hat.”

“It’s a human thing.” Cardan raised his eyebrows, looking skeptical. Jude sighed and plunked the red-and-white hat down on his head. “There’s this story they tell kids, I don’t know where it came from, but this fat old man goes around the world Christmas night and delivers presents to all the kids who have been nice, and coal to all the kids who have been naughty.”

“Is he a fae?” Jude made a face.

“Not that we know of.”

“But he is magic?”

“Yep.”

Cardan tilted his head, soft black hair falling over one eye. Jude had her hair pulled back in a thick knot, and Cardan found himself wishing he could run his fingers through it.

Decorating was more fun than Cardan had thought it would be. There was a tree - not real, Vivienne had said with a scoff. Real ones were messy, - and several garlands of holly strung over windows and doors. Heather had pulled out several boxes of decorations from somewhere. Jude had held the plastic and glass ornaments in her hands every time before she hung them up, seemingly trying to comprehend their existence. Cardan was helping, although he wasn’t entirely sure he was doing it right. There didn’t seem to be much of a pattern, it was more of ‘hang things up where you want’.

Oak was also helping, though he was doing more talking than hanging. Cardan found himself fascinated by tales of mortal school; hearing a fae child talk about lunch lines and playing games felt like the whole world was slightly tilted.

“Oh, and in art class we made Christmas decorations! We cut out snowflakes and glued them to blank CDs and decorated them with Sharpies and gems. I brought mine home.”

Oak ran to the door and dug around in his backpack, pulling out the ornament. It was slightly misshapen, with very bright red and green scribbles on it. Cardan raised a brow, but Jude grabbed it and hung it up right in the front.

“I hope you aren’t ruining the tree,” Vivienne called from the kitchen. Cardan examined the tree. It had several empty spots and looked as though they had simply thrown the boxes at it.

“No,” He called back, and Oak snickered. Vivienne came in balancing a tray of mugs and began passing them out. It was hot chocolate with white floating things in it.

“What are these?” He asked. Heather, having followed Vivienne in, gasped.

“You’ve never had marshmallows?” She looked horrified, and distantly Cardan wondered if she was as horrified as him on the first night Jude had kissed him. He doubted it. Oak jumped up and down, sloshing his hot chocolate down his arms.

“They’re amazing! They’re fluffy and light and sweet and you have to try one.”

Cardan hesitantly took a sip, catching a marshmallow as he did it. After a moment of thoughtful chewing, he nodded.

“I believe I do enjoy marshmallows,” He said, trying to get another one with his next sip. Oak giggled.

When Cardan looked up, he noticed Jude giving him another look. He had seen this look before. ‘You are incredibly attractive right now and I am struggling not to throw myself at you with wild abandon’ was the general meaning of it. Cardan was not one to leave and let lie, so he smirked at her, showing just a flash of teeth. Her chin jutted out, challenge ripping through her eyes.

Cardan went for another sip, but someone knocked on the door. Vivienne went to get it, but when she opened the door she inhaled sharply.

“It’s a fae,” She said, voice quiet. Jude and Cardan looked at each other and walked over. It was indeed a small fae, short and furry with distressingly long teeth.

“My King,” The creature gasped, bowing. “My Queen.”

“Yes, what is it?” Cardan was annoyed. He had hoped not to be called upon, just for tonight and tomorrow.

“Your pardon, Majesties. I was told to bring this to you.” The fae held out a cream envelope with a shaking hand. The thick red seal on the back had already been broken, but Cardan could see it was Madoc’s.

Next to him, Jude drew in a sharp breath. Cardan unfolded the letter and scanned the few short lines of text. Wordlessly, he passed it to Jude. She gave him a quick look and read the letter. Cardan was carefully still, shoulders tight. Her head jerked up to look up at him.

To Their Majesties,

I will arrive at sundown. I am excited to see the girls and Oak. I am bringing presents.

…

“He’s coming?” Jude stared, wide-eyed, at Vivienne. Vivienne was leaning against the counter, hands wrapped around a mug of coffee. Her own cat eyes went huge, and she pushed off the counter.

“He isn’t supposed to be.” Vivienne set her mug down and put her hands on her hips. “He certainly isn’t coming into this apartment.”

Next to her, Taryn pursed her lips and shifted. She fixed her attention on her own cup of coffee and took a sip.

“Taryn?” Cardan cocked his head slightly. “How do you feel about Madoc coming over?” She mumbled something into her coffee, not looking at any of them. Jude spun to her, eyes narrowed.

“What was that?” Taryn lowered her cup and reached a hand up to push her hair over her shoulder. She still wasn’t looking at them.

“I may have invited him.”

“What?” Vivienne and Jude spoke at once.

“Well, he raised us! This is his first Christmas and he’s in the mortal world and we haven’t payed him any heed and I wanted to be nice.” Jude stared at her, horrified. “It’s not like he can ruin the whole day. Even he doesn’t have that much power.”

“He almost took over all of Elfhame.” Jude grabbed Taryn’s shoulders, shaking her a little. “He ruined our childhoods and almost ruined both Cardan and I’s reign! Why would you think he can’t ruin Christmas?!”

Taryn looked taken aback. Cardan crossed his arms. She really should have thought this through.

“I thought-” Taryn bit her lip. “Maybe Oak would want to see him.” Everyone craned their necks to see into the living room where Oak was furiously typing on a laptop. Jude was the first to snap out of it.

“Maybe, but if they miss each other a half-hour visit in the park does just fine.” There was something in Jude’s voice, and Cardan turned to look at her. There was anger and annoyance, but Cardan could see in the tightness of her mouth eyes that she was worried, as well. Worried and scared and hurt.

Taryn kept stammering, but Cardan stopped paying her any attention. He watched Jude, watched the annoyance and anger crest, watched her eyes turn stormy. She turned and left in the middle of Taryn’s pleading to Vivienne, who was just watching with narrowed eyes. Taryn stared after Jude. Cardan followed, nodding slightly to Vivienne as he went.

Jude stormed to her bedroom and stood by the small window. Cardan shut the door quietly behind them and perched on the bed. He remained silent, waiting for her to speak. She broke after only a few short moments.

“I don’t want him here.” Her breath was coming short and fast as she crossed her arms. “I don’t care if it’s childish. This is my first Christmas since I was six, our first break since Eldred stepped down, the first time we are together and not being attacked, not fighting, not having to plan and plot and handle Orlagh or Nicasia or Locke. I wanted a time where I could be with Vivienne and not be mad at Taryn and see Oak smile.”

She broke off, tilting her head back slightly. When she spoke again, it was softer than before. “He has been a presence in my life forever. Even before I knew it, my life was ruled by him. I just wanted this nice human holiday without him.”

Her voice rose, and she lashed out a hand and punched the wall. The plaster cracked ever so slightly, and Jude grunted softly. Cardan rose and skirted the bed, going to stand by her. He took her hand gently. Her knuckles were red, and one of them had split open. He glanced up at her face.

To say she was angry was to say the sea around Elfhame was wet. True, as he couldn’t lie, but vastly underplaying. Cardan had never wished more that he could lie, just so he could hold her and tell her Madoc wouldn’t ruin anything. But Madoc was in the habit of ruining things. Jude sniffled. Cardan looked at her in surprise.

“I’m not going to cry,” She said sullenly. “Unless it’s out of anger.”

Cardan hummed and pulled her close. He tucked her head under his chin and rubbed her arms. Cardan had found out that when Jude was upset, physical touch grounded her. Otherwise, she got in her head and spiraled into anger. Cardan, having the opportunity to touch someone he loved for the first time in his life, was all too willing to comply.

“I can’t stay here,” Jude whispered. “Not with him, not in the same apartment. I don’t want to fight, and I know he’ll ruin it.” She sighed, shoulders hunching under his grip. “I suppose we can go back to Elfhame.” She didn’t sound thrilled. Cardan wished he could just snap his fingers and disappear Madoc.

“If we go back to Eflhame,” Cardan said, mumbling into Jude’s hair. “We could spend the night in my rooms. We need not deal with anyone else.” She pulled back and wrenched her head towards the window.

“I don’t have a choice. I simply cannot be in the same apartment as him.” Cardan straightened. Spending Christmas alone was not the worst idea, but it was for Jude. Cardan wondered…

“Come back to Elfhame, and I will try to distract you.” Jude flashed him a smile.

“You always do such a good job.”

…

Jude opened the carved door. Hair dripping down her back from her bath, she slipped into a blood-red doublet and thick green tights. She sighed, relishing the feeling of the velvet and wool against her skin. It felt like home.

She squeezed out her hair, then braided it back. Cardan had said he had to do something, then left her to bathe. The bath hadn’t been pleasant, all her anger and fury and worry over Madoc coming out in great heaving gasps. When she had dragged herself out, she had sworn not to think about him for the remainder of the night or for Christmas tomorrow.

Someone knocked on her door, and she rushed to open it. She blinked in surprise. It was Fand, out of her usual armour and in a black doublet. Fand bowed.

“Your Majesty. The King asked me to find you.”

Jude reached back inside the door and found her boots, the comfortable worn leather supple beneath her hands as she laced them up. Then she followed Fand, slightly confused. Fand did not lead her to the throne room, instead leading her to a small dining room attached to Cardan’s rooms.

When Fand nodded at her and opened the doors, Jude was taken aback. Inside, someone had put up a large pine tree, and it was covered in bright berries and soft glittering cloths. The whole room seemed to shimmer, and wreaths were flung over every chair and onto the mantlepiece. But what was more shocking were the fae inside.

Surrounding the table were Cardan, The Bomb, The Roach, The Ghost, and Grima Mog, all dressed in fineries. Fand slunk by her and joined them, cerulean skin standing out against the soft browns and greens. The Roach even had on a velvet Santa hat, though it looked odd on him.

Cardan stepped forward, holding two spun glass cups of wine. He handed one to her, taking a sip of the other. Jude shut her mouth, which had fallen open slightly, and gave him a grin.

“Merry Christmas,” He said, the words sounding odd in his mouth. Jude laughed, taking Cardan’s goblet and setting both of theirs aside. She flung herself at him, hugging him tightly enough he gasped for breath. The Bomb cheered loudly as Jude kissed him. She reveled in the softness of his mouth. He put his mouth to her ear and breathed. “I love you with all of my shabby, worm-eaten, and scabrous heart.”

“I love you, too,” She whispered back, laughing again and clutching him tighter.

Merry Christmas!!!

Thank you, @jurdannet and @jurdannetrevels, for hosting this!

#Jurdan #Jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #high queen of elfhame #christmas #christmas fluff #@frenemies-to-lovers #knife wife #secret snusband

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spaceorphan18 · 4 years ago

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Blaine Solos Ranked

With the success of the Kurt Solos Ranked, I thought I’d see if I could do Blaine’s as well. Which has become an interesting and complicated endeavor.

First of all - there’s the whole issue of what constitutes as a solo -- especially when he often times has an entire back up group singing along with him. Things like the Warbler numbers I counted -- because he sings the lead in the song by himself. Not counted are group numbers where he is featured - such as Hey Jude and This Is the New Year. Mostly, I stuck to what Glee Wiki counts as a solo, so if you have issues, take it up with them.

Secondly, when ranking Kurt solos, I took a lot into account of how heavily the song ties Kurt’s story. While nearly all of Kurt’s solos tie in with his story, the Blaine solos don’t always do so. So, mostly this is just what I think of them.

Thirdly, the Blaine fans that I have met are, well, fairly passionate about his music, so I want to say this. There aren’t really any bad Blaine solos. Unlike Will and Tina, who were subjected to poor song choices, Blaine’s performances, across the board, are pretty stellar. So, I’d like to remind everyone that this list is pretty arbitrary and based on my subjective biases.

So going in - take the list as it is, just a fun look at how one person ranks the solos. :)

Btw - the trivia on Glee wiki says that Blaine sings 31 solos, but I only found 29 -- do they mean the two songs added to the Warblers CD? Or am I missing a couple??

29. I’m Not Going to Teach Your Boyfriend How to Dance With You (Prom Queen)

Look at the list of Blaine solos, and arranging it to a list of things I like more than other things, this just kept sinking down and down. The biggest reason is that I just don’t like the song. Yup, that’s it. Nothing exciting about that really. But I suppose adding to that is the fact that this performance feels way more Darren than it does Blaine, and that the onscreen performance is mostly Finn and Jesse fighting over Rachel. As I said earlier, there’s nothing /bad/ about any of Blaine’s solo, I just like all the rest more.

28. Piano Man (Movin’ Out)

This is a perfectly fine albeit generic rendition of this number. So, here’s my thing about this one - when they did Piano Man in season one, not only did the song fit a bit more into context with Will and Bryan Ryan being somewhat washed up losers, there was a grittiness in not only the song but the visuals as well, and we get to do something that TV can do, which is transport us into the atmosphere of the song. By the time Blaine gets to do this number, all of that context and TV atmosphere has been kind of washed away. And this feels like a number that everyone would have fun singing at Darren’s piano bar because it’s a classic, and less because it has relevance to any of the story.

Look - a lot of these numbers are fun numbers just for the heck of it, but since they had already done this one, and since this is supposed to take place of the NYADA audition, I’m marking it down. You can do a lot with this song, and this performance, mostly, didn’t.

27. Everybody Wants to Rule the World

This is another one where I just am not a fan of the original song, and I don’t go back to listen to it very often. That said - it is super fun to see Blaine joining all the clubs and being super interactive in school, even if it’s tinged with the sadness that he and Kurt aren’t connecting much these days.

26. Bills, Bills, Bills (The Sue Sylvester Shuffle)

This one has grown on me over the years. It is a bit random - the Warblers’ singing an impromptu (and somewhat obligatory) Destiny’s Child song for the Superbowl episode. It has zero story resonance. But it is hilarious to see how much furniture Darren Blaine stands on during the number. If nothing else, the number is fun, and the Warblers look like they’re enjoying the hell out of doing it.

25. When I Get You Alone (Silly Love Songs)

This one, still, is one of the cringiest things they did on the show. Don’t get me wrong, it’s hilariously ridiculous, and Blaine singing to a dude in The Gap about sex toys is just, well, something memorable. It also is getting points for Kurt’s annoyed looks and Darren’s pink sunglasses. But overall, it still makes me uncomfortable to watch.

24. Fighter (Big Brother)

So, mostly, this just isn’t a song I like all that much. Vocally, Blaine sounds fine on it - and does a decent job with it. That said, I can’t take it as seriously as I’m supposed to. There’s something I find unintentionally hilarious about this little, teenage grandpa angsting over his brother. I know it’s got the infamous shower sequence in here - and I get it, I do. But the fact that I can’t keep from giggling through it is why it’s a bit lower than the rest.

23. Against All Odds (Guilty Pleasures)

First of all, I’ve always confused by the debate about this song. It’s clearly for Sam, because Blaine’s an intense guy with intense emotions, and any song he sings for a person he has feelings for is going to be intense. Go back and watch When I Get You Alone -- that was intense for a dude he got coffee with twice. I love Blaine (and Darren) with a piano and his voice, and this is one of the ones that was performed live, so that’s cool. Not my favorite Phil Collins’s number - so that’s mostly the reason for the position here. Also not the most visually engaging. But the song is performed well.

22. Hopelessly Devoted to You (The Role You Were Born to Play)

I’ve never realized just how many angsty Blaine songs he has in his canon. It’s kind of like the equivalent of Kurt crying through his solos. He does it well, and I don’t really have any faults for this one. It’s visually entertaining as well as sounding pretty good. But not a favorite song of mine, and therefore just gets notched a bit lower.

21. Last Friday Night (Pot o Gold)

I actually really like this song, even if I’ve probably heard it enough to be fine with not hearing it again for a long time. The performance is cute - there’s a nice high energy about it (with the exception of Santana’s dower expression during the whole thing because random season 3 conflict). However, this is kind of the height of whole Jukebox Blaine thing, where he’s trotted out to sing the hot new single of the summer, and then we just stash him away in the background to sit next to Kurt platonically until he’s needed again. I like the song and the performance, but am frustrated by the gratuitous context.

20. It's Not Unusual (The Purple Piano Project)

This one is flirty and high energy and Blaine looks super cute dancing on the stairs. I don’t really have any faults for this number. But I’m not particularly emotionally attached to it, either, so so in the middle it goes.

19. Hey, Soul Sister (Special Education)

I unabashedly love this song - even though I feel like I’m not supposed to since it was way, way over played when it was popular. But I do. The performance, however, isn’t the Warblers’ best -- across the board I feel like competition numbers rarely are -- and I’d argue it’s one of Blaine’s weaker vocal performances (sorry Darren), but it’s still fun, and the arrangements for the Warbler songs have always been pretty stellar.

18. Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' (Michael)

While the song itself is a bit strange, and while I’ve never been a huge MJ fan (sorry my dudes), I think this number is a lot of fun. It’s visually pretty entertaining, and I love the second half where they bring in all of the different styles MJ had donned over the years. It’s vocally pretty stagnant, so Blaine doesn’t have to do much here, but it’s about the spectacle anyway - and I enjoy what they did with it.

17. Something’s Coming

It’s always nice to hear Blaine do a Broadway number to give us a break from the mostly pop music he sings. While not Blaine’s strongest number vocally (he struggles just a little more on the Broadway ones), I love that he brings the stage alive when it’s just him singing. He’s incredibly visually engaging, and what he may lack (a little) with the vocals he makes up in energy and enthusiasm, which is always a joy to watch. Plus, there’s something particularly more attractive about early season 3 Blaine (possibly the fluffier, less gelled hair) that adds a nice touch.

16. Not While I'm Around (Bash)

Interestingly, the studio version of this song has everyone on it, and I’m so glad they let Blaine sing it on his own - because I feel it’s much more impactful that way. Not only is this the only real insight we get into Blaine’s head during this episode, but it’s raw and emotional (in a good way), and that adds to story unfolding on our screen. This might be, perhaps, the shortest number on the list, but its impact is stronger than a lot of the other numbers on the list, which is why I enjoy it a lot more.

15. Beauty School Dropout (Glease)

My favorite Broadway number that Blaine does on the show. I kind of love that there’s a lot going on during this song. Not only is Blaine doing an amazing Teen Angel, there’s the moment in the middle Blaine sees Kurt, and the layered look on Blaine’s face as he tries to hold it together is pretty remarkable. It’s one of my favorite acting moments from Darren, and one of my favorite times the story of the characters is layered over a seemingly disconnected performance. Plus, Blaine sounds fantastic on this catchy little number.

14. Silly Love Songs (Silly Love Songs)

This is one of those charming Warbler numbers that doubles as an ending feature that actually gives relevance to the story of the episode. It’s cute and sweet and flirty and fun and everyone gets something interesting to do during it. I don’t have a lot of commentary to add about it - but it’s a classic for a reason, and because of that, it deserves a higher spot on the list.

13. You're My Best Friend (Puppet Master)

I’m not sure I fully understand the casts’ aversion to the puppets (though I’ll acknowledge that it’s probably weird to perform with a puppet of yourself). That said, this number is kinda cool visually, and a nice break from what can be tedious choir room songs at this point in the series. I also enjoy the song and think Blaine sounds nice on it. Plus - Blaine totally has a backup career in children’s programming if he ever desired. It is weird that Blaine’s singing to puppets in the first place, but I do adore this one.

12. Don't Stop Me Now (Diva)

I enjoy that Blaine’s version of being a diva is just adding a leather jacket and pants to a number he performs exactly the same otherwise. Again, not much to comment on here, but I love the song, and Blaine sounds great on it, and while it isn’t hugely impactful to his story, I like that it shows Blaine being the ambitious little go-getter that he is.

11. Misery (Original Song)

This is another one of those songs that I unironically love. It is the most upbeat song about being miserable that I’ve ever heard, and while a lot of this song has to do with Kurt and his own mental state, has there ever been a more perfect song for Blaine? (well, yes but I’d digress if I went on about that.) I love so much about this song, from the choreography to Blaine’s obliviousness with Kurt as the number progresses. It’s fun and energetic and the most entertaining a subject as misery can get.

10. Cough Syrup (On My Way)

This might be the most controversial pick on the list, since I know for a lot of Blaine fans, this is their favorite number. I think it validates what a lot of people had been thinking - that there’s a lot going on underneath the surface of an outwardly peppy and energetic Blaine Anderson. And, I do like this song, and find it haunting -- it’s much different than the songs Blaine usually sings. It’s more emotional and tortured, and it’s fascinating to watch him sing his way through it. That said, the actual performance of this I rarely ever watch. It’s laid over Karofsky’s suicide attempt, and I find that sequence incredibly difficult to watch. So, while I do think a lot of the praise this song gets is completely valid, I can’t claim that it’s my favorite. I’m giving it an obligatory spot at #10 because I do think it deserves to be acknowledged as one of Blaine’s best solos.

9. It's Not Alright but It's Okay (Dance With Somebody)

Funny enough, as just a song, this isn’t one of my favorites. But I love, love what this song does. Clearly, by now I’m sure you’ve figured out, I love performances that have a lot of layers to them - and this one definitely does. There’s a great duality going on here between the awkward sadness that Blaine actually sings in the choir room versus the controlled anger that Blaine displays during his own fantasy. (It’s also one half of a conversation with Kurt that gets resolved when Kurt sings I Have Nothing later on.) I love the complexity of emotion that goes on during this one, and it remains one of my favorite performances on the show.

8. My Dark Side (Dynamic Duets)

Yes, this song is amazing! Again, another one of those performances that has a ton packed in it -- that has the additional quality of sounding and looking fantastic. I love that this song is entirely about Blaine, and where he is in his life. We get more tortured Blaine, but this time it’s in a more upbeat, pop-y song that suits Blaine incredibly well. But mostly, I love his interaction with the Warblers during it, the choreography is brilliant as they slowly start to bring him back in as their leader - and that moment where he parts them and he walks down the center reclaiming his position. There’s a lot to unpack here, as it easily meshes with the themes of the episode - of dark vs light and of heroes not always being heroic (but worth it anyway). I love when there’s deeper symbolism in a performance, and this has a ton of that.

7. All of Me (The Untitled Rachel Berry Project)

Look, it’s probably no secret that I really love Blaine (and Darren) just sitting at a piano singing. And I really love this song in general, too. Blaine’s last solo on the show (unfortunately!) is as tortured as many of the others on this list, but the thing that stands out for me about this one is its simplicity. It’s just Blaine by himself, working out how he feels about his situation through song. It’s not really meant to be heard by Kurt (or anyone else) but it’s also a shame that so rarely Blaine gets to let his real emotions be on display, which he does here. The performance is also beautifully shot, and intentionally evocative of another infamous Blaine solo that’s a little higher on the list.

6. Raise Your Glass (Original Song)

This is quintessential Warblers, and quintessential performance Blaine. This song is amazing on its own, truly. But the Warblers bring so much warmth and joy to it -- it’s such an engaging and energetic song, I often listen to it as a pick me up. No - this isn’t essential to Blaine’s character story, but I think it represents all the fun and ridiculousness Blaine and the Warblers arc brought to the show.

5. Somewhere Only We Know (Born This Way)

There’s something hauntingly beautiful about this one. Blaine (and the Warblers) sound great on it, and it’s the beginning of Blaine having a tortured and emotional underbelly to his personality. But more so, this song is about endings, and this is a turning point in Kurt’s and Klaine’s story as we say goodbye to Dalton and move on with the rest of Kurt’s journey. And it’s a dialogue between Kurt and Blaine, despite the sea of people around them, things are changing between them for better and for worse and for... just growing up, and this song encapsulates that beautifully.

4. All You Need is Love (Love, Love, Love)

Not gonna lie, this one is 100% about the context within the show. When I first heard the song, when it was released before the episode, it was kinda like - cool, Darren’s singing a Beatles cover. But the actual performance, the fact that this is essentially a love letter to the Klaine story, makes it one of the most precious and romantic numbers in the entire show. Blaine pulls out all the stops for Kurt here, and I can never just watch the performance, but always continue on to the proposal as well. It’s a beautiful performance, and a beautiful moment for Klaine and an utter highlight for the show itself.

3. It’s Time (The New Rachel)

Perhaps a number I’ve seen more than any other, I just love this number so much. Yes, it’s a good song. Yes, Blaine sounds great on it. And yes, the choreography is a ton of fun. But it’s also Blaine, very much himself, torn between being a child and growing up. There’s an unspoken dialogue between Kurt and Blaine during this song, about moving on from being stuck, and while this number is very childlike in it’s choreography, the subject matter is a little more mature -- being about moving on from the places your feel safe and journeying out in the world to be the person you’re supposed to be. There’s also a duality here -- where Blaine is stuck in the childlike land of high school as Kurt moves on to college and New York. This is another turning point in their story (as is all the songs done on these steps for these two), and I absolutely love that. But, it shouldn’t be discounted that it is a really good song that Blaine sounds really good on -- which is why it makes it one of Blaine’s best solos.

2. Teenage Dream Acoustic (The Break Up)

I’m sure that no one is surprised this at the top of the list. But what I can’t stress enough is that this is, hands down, one of the best performances done on the show period. Katy Perry’s original version of Teenage Dream is a trashy, forgettable pop song. What Darren Criss did with it is nothing short of magical. But then to bring this arrangement and add in his most phenomenal acting performance, even if it did break all of our hearts. The thing I love especially about the show version (vs the studio version) is that we get to see Blaine slowly break down and become unraveled while singing it. The performer that Blaine is starts to break down and this performance becomes an utter mess -- which makes it all the more powerful, moving, and heartbreaking. I love everything that this number chooses to be -- from exposing Blaine’s character, to the breaking of the fairy tale romance that is Klaine, to letting it be an end of one thing while the beginning of another.

Meanwhile, on another note, I’ve heard Darren sing this enough in his own performances that I have somewhat disassociated this version with the Klaine break up - but that doesn’t make this arrangement less powerful. Darren took a somewhat throwaway song and made something uniquely beautiful with it -- and that’s incredibly special, too.

1. Teenage Dream (Never Been Kissed)

I’m sure you’re gasping with surprise. But, this is no. 1 for a reason. While I think the acoustic version is better sounding (there’s just a tad too much auto tune here for reasons I’m unsure about), this number is the epitome of all Blaine numbers. It’s his introduction to the show, and so much of Blaine’s character was cultivated out of this performance. On top of that -- this performance made Kurt alive again, and it’s the beginning of a wild and beautiful story that would be the Klaine love story. It also became a major hit for the show - thrusting the music of Glee to a height that it never really could match again.

The scene is iconic and classic. The song is iconic and classic. Everything that is Blaine and the Klaine love story is wrapped up in this one. And every time I come back to it, I can’t help but smile - which is why this one remains at the top spot for me.

#blaine anderson #that's how s.o. sees it #huh #i've learned a lot about myself doing this actually #and a bit about blaine too tbh

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bluesey-182 · 4 years ago

Text

We Have To Stop Meeting Like This - Chapter 13

1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 / ao3

it’s been a very long time, but at last,,, here’s an update. also, the end of this chapter gets NSFW so i will not be tagging anyone in this post, i will however continue to tag everyone that has asked to be tagged in the next chapter.

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Jude was tuning out every noise around her in statistics class. The professor, a young man barely out of university himself, looking thoroughly hungover that morning, had divided them up into small groups for some group project, though what that project was Jude had no idea. She kept trying to convince herself to pay attention but her mind was elsewhere. Absentmindedly, she tapped her pencil against the palm of her hand while her feet tapped a different beat under the desk. When she woke up that morning she had considered staying home, given what day it was and the emotions it tended to bring up, but her tenuous grade in this class had ultimately made the decision for her.

“June?” One of her classmates asked, waving his hand in front of her face to get her attention. “Are you even listening?”

She considered biting his hand but settled for swatting it out of her face. “My name is Jude.”

The idiot kept talking but movement at the door in the front of the classroom caught her eye. The door was propped open, the professor unaware given he was facedown on his desk, and standing there, looking like a cruel prince from a wicked storybook, was Cardan. His black jeans ended into his untied high top converse, his matte-black shirt with silky designs on it was unbuttoned at the top and rolled up at the sleeves, and his hair was a glorious mess. He had put on gold eyeliner that morning and Jude felt her stomach tighten pleasantly. As she stared, he finally found her sitting in the back of the room and gave her a wicked smile before indicating with a wave that she should come out into the hallway with him. She made a face that hopefully conveyed that he was an imbecile for expecting her to leave class when there was still half an hour left, and in return he made a face that dared her to do it anyway.

“Well then Jude you still didn’t answer my question,” her classmate continued, ignoring the conversation happening between her and Cardan spoken solely with their faces.

She really wanted to punch this guy. Another look at Cardan showed an amused smile as he eyed the classmate sitting next to her, a knowing look in his eyes that Jude was probably going to murder him in the next minute.

Maybe the universe had sent Cardan to save this kid's miserable life from her ending it.

“Actually,” Jude said as she scooped her notebook and pen into her backpack, “I have to go, um,” Cardan was laughing silently to himself and it was very distracting, “go water my…. goldfish,” she finished absentmindedly before bolting towards the door. Her professor, popping a handful of ibuprofen into his mouth, didn’t seem to notice.

Once out in the hall, Cardan let the door slide closed behind them before taking her face in his hands and giving her a gentle kiss that made her heart soar.

“Hey, you,” he said after taking the smallest step away.

“I was in class, what do you want?”

“From the looks of it, you were about to commit a felony on some poor, unexpecting dimwit. I am merely saving you from your least favorite class and, possibly, prison.”

“I can’t afford to fail this class, Cardan,” Jude said with no real heat.

“I’ll help you with the homework.” Jude glared at him, knowing how much of a pain in the ass he was when he “helped” her with her homework. “So why are you dragging me out of class?”

Cardan’s face lit up like he had almost forgotten and then he started patting down all his pockets while mumbling to himself. Finally he pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket and presented it to her like a magician would present a flower. “Because, my dear, I have a very important question for you.”

Feeling confused, Jude took the paper from his open palm and unfolded it. It was almost entirely blank except for the question “do you like me?” with two boxes to check yes or no. Jude rolled her eyes. “You’re absolutely ridiculous.” With a flourish, Cardan produced a pen from his same back pocket and blinked at her innocently. “I’m not answering.” At her words Cardan gave her a sad face that was entirely fake. With a huff, Jude snatched the pen from his hand and checked the box next to yes.

“You make me swoon, Jude,” Cardan teased.

“You really interrupted my class for this?”

“What? Oh, no, I interrupted your class because a little birdy told me,” he sidled up and smoothly pulled her into him, “that today is your birthday.”

Jude’s mood soured ever so slightly. “What little birdy?”

“Mm,” Cardan hummed as he kissed her neck. Goosebumps rose all over her body.

“Nice try,” she said, placing a hand on his chest and gently pushing him and his lips a safe distance away from her. “What little birdy, Cardan.”

He relented, “Your sister.”

“You’ve been talking to Taryn?” Instead of answering her question, Cardan gave Jude a withering look. “Oh. Right. You’re friends with Vivi. But so what if it’s my birthday? I don’t really celebrate.”

“So I was told,” Cardan said lightly as he took her hand in his and started guiding her towards the back exit of the building. “Which is exactly why I’m snatching you out of class to spend the day with me.”

“That sounds more like a birthday treat for you, not me.”

“You wound me Jude, you really do. But I promise I’ll make it worthwhile for you as well.”

It was a surprisingly warm day for mid-November. They were driving with the windows down, Jude’s hand hanging out the window and lazily surfing the breeze, Cardan singing out of time with the music playing on the radio. Despite the depression Jude’s birthday tended to bring on, a wave of peace washed over her as she turned her head to look at Cardan. Instead of wearing his sunglasses to block the bright sun, he was currently using them as a headband to keep his floppy hair out of his face while he drove, though it wasn’t proving to be very effective. The wind swept his hair about and every so often a piece of it would slap him in the face.

“So where are we going?” Jude asked for the fifth time since they had gotten into the car. They had driven out of town and were now on a country road full of trees displaying the last of their leaves before winter washed the world of color. Instead of answering Jude’s question, Cardan gave her a lopsided grin in response and took her hand in his free one.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” Cardan finally said after Jude released a long, drawn out breath.

“I hate surprises,” she mumbled.

“It’ll be fun,” Cardan insisted.

“I hate you.”

“Liar.”

“Miscreant.”

“Bully.”

“Baby.”

“Yes, darling?” Cardan replied.

“No, I was calling you a baby,” explained Jude. The smirk Cardan tried to suppress showed that Jude had walked right into that one.

“I do so love it when you call me pet names,” Cardan continued. “Makes me feel all warm and gooey inside. Like a pie left out in the sun.”

“You shouldn’t leave pies out in the sun, birds will eat them.”

“Well I am such a goddamn snack…” Cardan trailed off as Jude began to laugh.

“Says you.”

“Darling, have you seen this ass?”

“Alright,” Jude laughed, “if you’re a snack what does that make me?”

“A four-course meal,” Cardan said as if that were obvious. “Now, if you will direct your attention to your right you will see we have arrived at our destination. Please do not feed the animals and remember the rules of being out in nature: leave no trace and take no prisoners. Sunscreen will not be provided and if a bear attacks you’re on your own.”

Jude looked out the window as Cardan pulled into a mostly empty dirt parking lot in front of a state park. Trees obscured the view beyond the opening of the main path, some of the autumnal colored leaves still clinging to their branches. Stepping out of the car, Jude was greeted by a kind of calming quiet one never got in civilization. The air smelled cleaner than Jude thought should be possible and the shining sun chased away any chills that the season tried to bring on. Birds that hadn’t yet made their migration sang from the trees, different melodies coalescing into a symphony of sounds.

It was beautiful.

The sound of a trunk door closing turned Jude’s attention to where Cardan had just pulled a basket from the trunk of his car. He watched her with a small smile and bright eyes as she took in their surroundings.

“If you brought me out here to murder me,” Jude joked, “I must say I approve of the scenery.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, clearly I brought you out here to paint you nude in nature like a faerie queen.”

“Are you saying you’ll be painting in the nude, or I’ll be nude in the painting?”

With a chuckle, Cardan tapped Jude on the tip of her nose and smiled brightly. “I like the way you think. Perhaps both. Or perhaps we’ll skip the painting entirely and just get naked. Shall we?” Cardan indicated the path with a flourish and they began walking hand in hand through the tree lined path.

“I think we should skip,” Cardan observed. “We don’t skip nearly enough as adults.”

“Skipping implies levity, and how can one be joyous when they’re drowning in college debt?”

“You really know how to ruin my fun, Jude. You can be quite cruel. And yet… I find it turns me on.”

Jude rolled her eyes. Something Cardan had said earlier had just begun to register in her mind. “Hey, what the fuck does leave no trace and take no prisoners mean?”

“What?”

“When we first got here,” Jude explained, “You said ‘leave no trace and take no prisoners.’”

“Oh, right. Leave no trace means that you should leave things how you find it, stay on the trail, yada yada yada.”

“I’m not familiar with ‘yada yada yada.’”

“Hush, my darling,” tutted Cardan before continuing with his explanation. “And ‘take no prisoners’ means that you don’t take anything out of nature. Like a pretty rock or a dead squirrel or a mushroom that has the potential to be psychedelic.”

“Yes, those are precisely the trinkets I want as souvenirs,” Jude teased. Cardan only shrugged his shoulders and melted her heart with his smile.

“This way,” he said, gently leading her down a narrower path. After almost thirty minutes of walking they emerged into a clearing of grass overlooking a small waterfall flowing down a face of rocks and a pool of water surrounded by blue flowers. Mesmerized, Jude crept up to the bank of forget-me-nots and stared at her reflection mirrored in the pool of water. All sound seemed to be muffled in the little clearing, the perfect circle of grass separating the forest from the little pond. It felt magical and Jude stole a glance at Cardan.

“How did you find this place?” She asked.

Instead of answering, Cardan set down the basket in his arms and pulled a checkered blanket from its depths. He placed the folded blanket over one arm like a tea towel and held his finger to his face in imitation of a mustache. “Will the lady be dining alone today?” He asked in a horrible french accent.

“Yes. Yes, she will.”

“I’m afraid I must insist on joining you.”

“Mmm. No thanks.”

Cardan laughed and it was warmer than sunlight. “Will you let me join you if I promise never to talk in that accent again?”

Jude pretended to consider this for a moment. “I suppose,” she dragged out, running her eyes along the length of his body. “You would make for rather handsome company.”

With a grin, Cardan whipped open the blanket and laid it out on the grass with a bit of theatrics, indicating with a slight bow and an extended hand that Jude should sit. After joining her on the blanket, Cardan opened the basket once again and peered inside.

“I hope you like the concept of food more than actually eating it because I forgot to actually pack any,” he said seriously.

“Cardan!”

“I’m joking, I’m joking!” He held his hands up in surrender and laughed as Jude attempted to toss a nearby leaf in his face. “Let’s see what we’ve actually got in here, shall we?” And so he proceeded to produce fresh bread, soft cheeses, fancy meats, a variety of fruits, and chocolate pastries from the basket. After laying out their feast, he then pulled plastic plates, two cups, and a bottle of grape juice from the bottom of the picnic basket.

“Why grape juice?” Jude asked with a laugh.

“Because, darling, I have to drive and I know you’re not big on alcohol. But I still wanted to stick to the spirit of things, hence the grape juice instead of wine.”

“You really thought of everything.”

“Yes, well,” Cardan released a labored breath, faking humility, “I am rather thoughtful.”

Jude rolled her eyes and leaned in to catch Cardan’s mouth with her own. The kiss finally shut him up and he cradled the sides of her face in his hands, gently tugging her closer until she was nearly in his lap. He deepened the kiss, turning it from something soft to something desperate as Jude ran her hands through his hair. She caught his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down, causing him to release a shaky breath into her mouth. Cardan’s hands slid down to grip her hips and pull her into his lap so she was straddling him as they continued to kiss until they were breathless. Jude knew if she didn’t stop now, they really would both end up naked like Cardan had claimed. Reluctantly, she drew back to look at him. His eyes, already nearly black to begin with, seemed even darker. She felt something pull deep in her abdomen at the sight of him. Maybe…? No, she resolved, not in public. Giving him one last kiss, Jude withdrew back to her spot on the blanket, Cardan’s hand reaching out to her with a look of desperation on his face. Lord help her, he was giving her those puppy dog eyes.

With a laugh, she playfully swatted his hand away and said, “Later.”

As if to prove her point, the sounds of a family walking nearby with their giggling kids and barking dog drifted into their little nook.

Cardan sighed. “I suppose you’re right. Wouldn’t want to shock that poor family by ravaging each other right here in this very romantic alcove.”

After they finished eating, they ended up taking off their shoes and rolling up their pant legs to dangle their feet in the water. A frog croaked somewhere along the banks and birds flew to the water before darting away again. Beside her, Cardan laid back in the grass with his eyes closed.

“How did you even find this place?” Jude asked again softly.

Cardan opened his eyes and fixed them on Jude. “Sometimes I need to get away.”

“So you run to the woods?” Jude teased.

“Yes, obviously,” Cardan huffed as he sat up and nudged her with his shoulder. “Haven’t you ever wanted to become a forest cryptid after running away from society?”

Jude laughed. “No, I can’t say that I have.”

“You should try it sometime. Wailing in the woods is very cathartic.”

By the time they left the park, the sun was beginning to set. They had accidentally fallen asleep while staring up at the clouds and only woke up when Jude began drooling on Cardan’s stomach and he had woken up with a small shriek thinking there was a spider crawling on him.

The car ride was pleasantly quiet, Jude’s head blissfully free of worries, Cardan’s thumb tracing circles along the back of her hand on the console between them. Jude had to admit it was a good birthday.

As if he could hear her thoughts, Cardan broke the silence. “Why don’t you celebrate your birthday?” The question was hesitant, leaving Jude the space to ignore it should she not want to share this little tidbit of her life. But after everything she’d already shared with Cardan, it seemed silly to hide this. Honestly, it was something she’d bottled up for so many years that she found the prospect of sharing it to be like lifting a weight off her chest.

“It makes me sad,” she replied barely above a whisper. “I miss my parents. Madoc always did something for our birthday but it wasn’t the same, you know? I miss the way my mom would squeeze us in her arms after we blew out the candles, and how my dad would try to take a picture but end up blinding us or himself with the flash. My mom loved those prank candles that would keep relighting after you blew them out and Taryn would shriek and I’d laugh and my dad would say I was going to be an arsonist if I didn’t get my fascination with fire under control.”

Cardan gave her hand a reassuring squeeze. “They sound wonderful,” he said very quietly.

“They were.” Jude wiped a stray tear off her face and stared out the window as they lapsed back into silence.

From her back pocket, Jude’s phone started screaming it's ringtone at her, making her jump hard enough to bash her elbow into the car door. “Sonofabi--,” she exclaimed as she dug the phone from her jeans and answered it right before it went to voicemail. “Hello?”

“Where the fuck are you?” Vivi’s frantic voice filtered through the phone.

“What? Why, what’s going on?” Panic was starting to build in Jude’s chest and she saw her same fear reflected in Cardan’s gaze as he looked to her for what she needed from him.

“It’s your birthday!” Vivi said, like this explained everything. The worry in Jude’s chest dissolved into irritation.

“So?”

“So?!” Vivi repeated. “So Taryn and I are already at Madoc’s for your birthday dinner and you’re nowhere to be found.”

“Oh fuck. Fuck! I totally forgot!”

“Obviously! Look, I’ll try to stall until you get here. Taryn brought Locke so you might as well bring Cardan too. Get here as fast as you can, dumbass.” With that, Vivi hung up.

Jude turned to Cardan, where he was looking at her expectantly. “We have to go to my dad’s.”

They barely made it through the front door before Vivi was upon them like a hyena. “Thank god you’re here, Madoc is starting to throw a fit.”

As if summoned by the mention of his name, Madoc stepped into the foyer and gave Jude a withering look. “Why aren’t you dressed?” He barked.

Jude was fairly certain her clothes hadn’t fallen off, leaving her standing in the doorway naked, but she still looked down at herself in assessment. She was very clearly dressed.

“Never mind, some of your old dresses are still in your room, you must get changed before the guests arrive.” He took in Cardan’s attire and made a face like he had just drank spoiled milk. “I suppose you’ll do.”

Jude was feeling a little lost. “Guests?”

“Yes, Jude, guests. This is, afterall, a birthday party. I don’t want you embarrassing me in front of all our family friends and associates, so I suggest you go change out of that ratty sweater before everyone arrives.” Without waiting for a reply, Madoc left the room in the same storm he had entered it with.

“Guests?” Jude asked again, this time directing her attention at Vivi.

Vivi shrugged. “Oh you know dear old dad, he’ll turn everything into a business affair given half the chance. Now go get dressed so I don’t have to bury you on your birthday.”

Jude's childhood bedroom was sparse. Most of her things had been moved to her apartment after leaving Madoc’s, but there were a few things left behind: a bed, a handful of stuffed animals, an old dresser that was long but low with an attached mirror, and a bookcase with children's books still lining it's shelves. It was this last one that Cardan drifted to as Jude shut the door behind her. She drifted to her closet and the few dresses that remained there.

"Alice in Wonderland?" He said, taking a collectors edition off the top shelf. "This was my favorite book as a kid."

"You can have it," Jude said as she walked out of the closet in her chosen dress for the night and leaned against the nightstand after zipping the back up the rest of the way. Cardan raised his eyebrows at her over his shoulder and set the book down on the bed.

"It's your birthday," he purred, coming up to her and running his hands along her hips before shifting them so they were pressed squarely against his. He easily lifted her up and set her down on the dresser for him to settle between her knees. Jude felt her breath catch. "I'm supposed to be the one giving you a gift."

"Is the gift sex?" Jude breathed as Cardan ran his lips along her throat.

He chuckled against her collarbone, and lord help her, she felt hot all over.

"No," he said, his voice low and undeniably sexy. "But the option's always on the table."

He continued to leave a trail of hot kisses along her skin as her almost feverish body continued to get hotter. Cardan was driving her crazy, and if the smile he pressed into her pulse point was any indication, he knew it to.

"God, this dress, Jude…"

"What? Don't like it?" She managed, looking down at the midnight blue fabric that hugged her curves nicely before pooling loosely just above her knees.

"I like you in it, that's for sure. But I'd also like you without it right about now." Cardan's fingers were gently running up the sides of her thighs.

"Then take it off," she whispered in his ear.

His fingers came to the hem of her underwear and she shimmied out of them as he gently tugged them down. Then his hands were right where she wanted them, teasing her, exploring her, all while he continued to kiss every available inch of her skin. She gasped and, without fully meaning too, dug her nails into Cardan's shoulder as he inserted a finger. He was going too damn slow. She wanted more more more more.

"Cardan," she moaned. He smiled against her skin once more and added another finger. "Fuck, Cardan."

His strokes were reverent, like he was worshipping her. With his free hand he slid the strap of her dress off her right shoulder. Then her left. Her dress pooled around her waist on the dresser and his mouth found her breasts.

More more more more.

"This is all I've been able to think about since we kissed earlier," he said against her mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Jude…"

She kissed him, the kiss getting more and more desperate as his fingers continued to stroke her. His rhythm was slowly dissolving as his own desire drove him just as crazy. He wanted her just as much as she wanted him, and she wanted him bad.

"Do you have a condom?" She asked around her panting.

"Would you hate me if I said I've been carrying one since the first time we had sex?"

Jude's laugh was low and sultry. "No, I wouldn't hate you. If anything I'd say thank god."

His fingers found a particularly sensitive spot and she bit her lip to contain the last half of a yelp that tore through her. She could feel her hips rocking against him even though she wasn't consciously doing it. When she looked down, she could see cardan hard and straining against his tight jeans.

"Get the condom," she pleaded.

Much to her disappointment, Cardan withdrew the hand inside her to remove his wallet from his back pocket in order withdraw a condom and shuck off his pants. His mouth found hers in a desperate series of kisses as he slid the condom on and then his hands were on her again and oh she was losing her mind.

"Cardan?"

"Hmm?"

"The bed."

He backed up and sat down on the edge of the bed. Jude hopped off the dresser, her dress falling the rest of the way off her body to collect in a pool at her feet. Steadily, she walked over to Cardan, aware of his gaze taking in every inch of her exposed skin. His eyes seemed to gleam.

"God you're so fucking beautiful," he said.

Jude settled into his lap. He was looking up at her in a way that made her stomach tumble even more as he leaned back and braced himself with a hand against the mattress behind him. His other hand cradled Jude against his body. And then, finally, he slid into her.

"Oh, fuck," he whispered as Jude began rocking her hips. His hands grabbed hold of her waist, he buried his head against her chest, and his breath came in short, hot gasps as Jude rode him.

When he began to move his hips beneath her, Jude let out a cry of pleasure, which drew a chuckle out of cardan.

"As much as I love to hear your moans, you might want to try to be quiet, darling," he purred in that way that made Jude want to do very unholy things to him.

Her mind was struggling for words as she shoved at his chest to push his back against the mattress. Finally, she managed, "Fuck you, Greenbriar."

"I think you already are."

"Then fuck me."

With a laugh he bucked his hips and she threw her head back in pleasure, Cardan's fingers trailing her exposed throat before sliding into her hair. His free hand had a firm hold on her hips as he rocked his and oh my god she was nearing the edge of a cliff. His teeth grazed her collarbone before finding her nipple, his hand slid in the small space between them and began running circles on her and oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck…

Jude fell off that cliff with a cry as Cardan fell with her.

Trying to catch her breath, Jude collapsed on top of Cardan. Beneath her cheek his chest rose and fell as fast as hers, his heartbeat going a mile a minute. Jude didn't mind the sweat sticking to his skin, or how her own sweaty skin made their stomachs stick together. She just laid with her head on his chest, legs still around his hips, and closed her eyes as his fingers stroked her back, her hair, tucking a stray strand behind her ear. Jude decided she could live in this moment forever. Being held by Cardan after being loved by him, slowly beginning to doze off as she breathed in the scent of his skin, enveloped in the warmth of it.

"Jude," he said gently.

"Hmm?"

"We should probably make ourselves decent and go back downstairs before someone comes looking for us." This elicited a groan of a different variety than moments before from Jude. Cardan gave a soft laugh and pressed his lips against her sweaty forehead.

"Come on, Jude. I'd rather not get caught having sex with you by your dad."

"But you're not having sex with me anymore," she teased. This made Cardan smile wickedly. Before she could think about the wisdom behind her own taunt, Cardan had them flipped over so he was on top of her.

"You're right, my sweet villain," he purred, "but I can still drive you crazy." His fingers grazed down her stomach, millimeters away from where she was once again hot all over, before he pulled away from her and started pulling on his pants.

"I really fucking hate you sometimes, you know that?" Jude said.

With a laugh, Cardan buckled his pants and leaned over the bed so he was propped over Jude again. "Come on," he said, helping her sit up. "We can pick up where we left off once we get back to your apartment."

That didn't seem soon enough. But Cardan was handing her her dress and she grumpily slipped it on. After both using the bathroom attached to her room, she led the way to her bedroom door and was about to pull it open when Cardan's hand stopped her. Gently, so gently, he spun her around and pressed her back against the door. He kissed her, once, and then he was pulling open the door, his fingers interlocking with hers, and they were going back downstairs.

The party passed in a blur. The guests were there more for Madoc than for Jude and Taryn and the twins seemed to orbit on different axises. Jude saw Taryn in passing but never stopped to talk, and Vivi tried to split her time between the two of them while making sure they both knew how much it irritated her. Throughout the night, Cardan stole kisses in secluded places. The empty kitchen, a corner in the hallway, behind a potted plant by the tables overflowing with food. On the back patio with the stars shining down on them. Jude cherished every kiss, every touch, and felt herself fall a little more each time.

“Happy birthday, Jude,” Cardan whispered against her skin as he settled an opal necklace around her throat.

#jurdan #jurdan au #the cruel prince #my writing #the wicked king #the folk of the air #jude x cardan #text post #okay to reblog

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fallin-flcwer · 4 years ago

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PHOENIX LIN TRUTH BOOTH

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: I go by three names, but they’re all more or less the same, just translated differently. The name I was born with is Lin Feng Huang, which translates to Lam Fung Wong in Cantonese, then my English name is Phoenix Lin. 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? Feng Huang means Phoenix in English, hence why it’s my English name 3. Do you have any nicknames? Nix, Duck Lin, Kung Pho Panda (thanks Addison), Shitlin (thanks Luca). No one really calls me it, but I also like being called Nixie. 4. Where were you born? And in which country? I was born in Violet Springs 5. What is your date of birth? 24th of October, 2000 6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? Scorpio 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? Yes. 8. Where do you live? Lilac Wells 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) I live with my mum and Duyi 10. Do you have any siblings? I have an older half-brother. We've never spoken to each other, and I don’t plan on doing so. 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? I have a small allergy to cinnamon 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? I’ve got a chihuahua called Chia and a Siamese cat called Cat. 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? Not gonna lie, the part of it was because my friends planned to go there, but there were also some teachers there that I admire, and still do. 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? Nope. 15. What is the current course you’re following? Netball and Swimming. I did do gymnastics and modelling but I dropped them earlier this year. 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? I would do modelling if I wasn’t so focused on sports. 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? I think for sports, it’s pretty much... you know.. sport. But playing The Female for Felix’s show, The Boys, is something I never thought I'd be able to do, but I’ve found it so fun. 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? Cindy getting into a national soccer team. It cost me seeing her religiously but that’s okay. 19. Do you like FanCons? Yes. Being a sports person, you don’t get many stans the way musicians and actors here do, but it’s still fun. 20. What do you like about FanCons? Meeting the fans I do have. 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? It really does tire me out from time to time. Not all of them, but there have been some. 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. A little girl came to me and talked to me about how happy she was to see an Asian sportswoman. 23. Your favorite event so far? The halloween party in my first year LMAO. 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? Anything that has to do with travelling. 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? If they’re pursuing a career in the Arts, yes

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? Level-headed, realistic and supportive 27. What are you negative traits? I can be a bit bossy and stubborn 28. What would other people describe you as? Carefree 29. What are your pet peeves? Loud chewers 30. What makes you happy? This has to be the most un-Phoenix-like answer but watching pottery videos. My mum used to take me to her pottery lessons growing up, but I never did it myself. 31. What makes you upset? Seeing people I care about upset 32. What is something you love? Food, my mum and my friends 33. What is something you dislike? My 34. What are you strengths? Saving money (thanks mum), biology, and sport 35. What are you weaknesses? I definitely struggle with empathising with people I can’t relate to, but it’s something I want to learn to do 36. A misconception people often think of you? That I’m a very idgaf person. I like to come off that way bc it’s just easier for me, but I’m definitely a bit more sensitive than I like to let off. 37. Do you have any fears? I’m scared of frogs, but you would be too if your little cousin chased you around with one 38. What scares you the most? Losing my mum, honestly. I’d go insane at this point if it wasn’t for her. 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? Watch vine compilations on youtube. 40. What is your MBTI? ESTJ. 41. How do you deal with stress? Shut it out completely. 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? I’m definitely both. 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? Yes. 44. Would you like to be different? In some ways, yes. 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? Honestly, I think I’m both but I lean more towards extroverted.

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? I’m bisexual. 47. Current relationship status? Single, but I may or may not be emotionally invested in Gabriel. 48. When was your first kiss? I was around 15. 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? It was with one of my human biology classmates. She took me out to the movies and went out for bubble tea afterwards. 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? No. 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) No. 52. If no, how so? I just don’t think I’ve ever felt how I’m supposed to when I’m ‘in love’ 53. How do you know when you’re in love? I wouldn’t know. Sorry. 54. What would be your ideal date? Just something indoors. We can have takeout, watch a movie, whatever. I’m not picky. 55. What is your perspective on marriage? I think marriage is a little bit overhyped. Obviously, marriage is good when it’s done right, but really it’s pretty much a relationship topped off with a ring and a fancy ceremony. Just because someone said their vows and “I do” doesn’t mean that they’re not going to cheat if they want to, in my eyes. 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? I don’t really believe in dom/sub roles. Like just get on with it. However, I will admit that I like being on top. 57. What do you think of relationships? As of right now, I don’t think I’m ready to be in a committed relationship, but then again I don’t believe in actively looking for a relationship. I think things will unfold over time and I’ve just gotta let it be. 58. What do you think of one-night stands? I don’t have an issue with them. 59. Are you still a virgin? No. 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? Their confidence, and as how well they treat people. 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? Honesty and trust. 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? Yes, but only in very small doses. 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? It depends on the person. 64. How do you express love to the other? I will cook for you, or at least try to. 65. Who is your celebrity crush? Jeon Wonwoo.

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? Yes 67. Is there something you would like to re-do? So, start all over again? My entire first year here 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? Pass, because that would mean that I shared it 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? Maybe like last week. I think I’m more sensitive than I like to let off 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: Halloween in my first year, when Cindy brought me an inflatable panda suit and rolled me around in it. 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? My first year 72. Someone you miss? My Grandmother 73. Something you wish you could forget? Anything involving my dad 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? My mum 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? There have been some things that have happened in my life that has changed my perspective on love dramatically. 76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? Pass 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? I’ve gained some more initiative. I’ve lost some confidence but at the same time I’ve definitely let go of some self hatred I’ve been holding onto. I doesn’t seem like it makes sense but it does to me 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? My sports squad :( minus Luca obviously. 79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? None that I’m willing to talk about 80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? As much as you want to be with your friends. Maybe St. Judes isn’t the best choice. And if you are as stubborn as I remember you to be, if you do go, please be more careful this time.

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? Winter 82. Cats or dogs? Cats 83. Beach or mountains? Mountains 84. Phone calls or texting? Texting 85. Have you ever skipped class? Yes

#「 ☾ – phoenix 」#stjudestruthbooth

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mallowbees · 5 years ago

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i dont know much about TMA but ,, could you tell me a bit about avatars? I want to make a sona really bad because they look so cool haha

Oh heck YEAH I can!!

Right so!! Avatars are people who have had experiences with or behavior that aligned with one of the 14(15 kinda?) fear entities and end up serving them!! Throwing people to their, for lack of better words, god, to feed off of their fears and occasionally try to kick of rituals to make their god strong and getting some sweet powers as a reward!

!! It’s gonna be kinda hard to avoid spoilers with explaining this, so I’ll try to keep it to the minimum but some spoilers for avatar people’s stuff :’D !!

The 14 are as follows (I’m just gonna snag most of this from the wiki but anything not in italics is me):

The Burried :

Also called The Center, Choke, Too Close I Cannot Breathe.

The fear of claustrophobia, small spaces, of being unable to breathe and the underground and dust. Being at the centre of everything and it is all pushing down. Fear of being trapped without enough space.

Notable avatar person I can think of is 18th centry guy who worked in a grave yard and would nap in the graves cause it was quiet and when they installed bells incase someone was actually alive when they burried them they could ring it, so someone rang it and he cut the line because he thought they were nice and deserved to sleep, also early episode lost johns cave is a good example but doesnt have an avatar in it so hfgh

The Corruption :

Also called Filth, The Crawling Rot, or The Hive.

This entity is linked closely to our feelings of disgust, of feeling revulsion and fear of corruption, disease, filth. Manifests as mould, bugs, rot, decay, infection. The feeling of your skin crawling.

Jane Prentiss, she wanted to be loved and found love in a bunch of worms in a wasp nest in her attic, so she became their hive, she loves her worms and her worms love her, they sing

Also other guy I genuinely don't know his name he just made everyone sick at that retirement home with disease and hung out at hill top road a few times, got sealed in concrete and he always looked like he was skin and slightly rotting

The Dark :

Also called Mr. Pitch, The Forever Blind, The Sandman

A manifestation of our very primal fear of the dark, of what lies beyond what we can sense. What might be in it?

One of the oldest of the Entities.

Uhh cult kidnapped that one kid i think that was them, i dont know who the dark avatar is actually

The Desolation :

Also called The Lightless Flame, The Torturing Flame, The Devastation, Blackened Earth.

This entity deals in fear of pain, of loss, burning, fear of unthinking or cruel destruction.

Acolytes are enriched by destroying the lives of people who had things to live for, destroying things before their potential is realised. In exchange, the cult members can create heat--but not fire--and gain the ability to make their skin run like wax.

They burn from the inside and consume everything in flames, Jude Perry and Agnes Montague are the two i know, Agnes was born into it and died because of forbidden love and Jude set her girlfriends flat on fire so hgfhfg

The End :

Also called Death, Terminus, The Coming End That Waits For All And Cannot Be Ignored.

This entity deals in the fear of death itself, uncaring and unstoppable.

No known attempts at a ritual, presumably because it sees no need to, as Death claims all in the end.

Oliver Banks!! Had dreams of strings that tied people to their deaths, actual rational avatar, also didnt ask for this but he does pretty well. Also commited identity fraud

The Eye :

Also called Beholding, The Watcher, The Ceaseless Watcher, It Knows You.

This entity is fear of being watched, exposed, followed, of having secrets known, but also the drive to know and understand, even if your discoveries might destroy you. Fear that you’re suffering for the sake of something watching.

Elias!! Horrible man!! Can body hop! Just wants to watch the drama unfold and get more power. Knows lots of things and compulsion ! Also Jon because he reckless curiosity kinda screwed him over there and yeah. And that one security guy who got consumed by a watcher lietner watching other people via security camera, rip that guy

The Flesh :

Also called Viscera.

Born from the fear of animals bred for meat, and in the human realisation that we are just animated meat and bones.

Manifests as strange bodies being twisted, reshaped, and butchered.

Thought to be the newest of the 14, born around the time of the Industrial Revolution

Jared Hopworth! Got a Lietner, runs a gym to change bodies into what people want until they're practically not human anymore, likes most bones if they're good bones

The Hunt :

Hunting and chase and violence, this is an animalistic fear, very old and primal. Fear of being hunted, being prey.

Less able to affect people due to our self-removal from the food chain. Self-proclaimed monster hunters (and those who do the same without referring to themselves as such) run a strong chance of becoming Hunters and then having a need to hunt and kill monsters.

Daisy! Things get kinda messed up when you combine non-human impulses with a person so! Murder! violence!

The Lonely :

Also called Forsaken, The One Alone The fear of isolation, of being completely cut off and alone. Fear of being disconnected.

Peter lukas, Martin, grew up lonely and shunned idk what you expected, can literally vanish, cool aethetic- Also that one girl who married one of the lukas’, nayomi? But she wasnt an avatar just with one

The Slaughter :

This entity feeds off of pure, unpredictable, unmotivated violence. Strong ties to war. Fear of not knowing, where, when, how or if pain will come but that it will. Can be violent like a frenzied killer or calm and regimented like soldiers firing on the battlefield.

Melanie! Anger! Murder! Stabby stab! Justificated feeling that your anger is right!

The Spiral :

Also called Es Mentiras, It Is Lies, The Twisting Deceit, It Is Not What It Is.

This entity is fear of madness, of being lost, that your world is wrong, that your mind is lying to you. It deals with deception, lying, deceiving the mind and senses.

Michael! Helen! I don’t,, really know what to say on this one hgfhfg

The Stranger :

Also called I Do Not Know You.

Fear of the unknown. That creeping sense that something isn’t right. Also of unfamiliar people. Manifests as objects pretending to be humans, like mannequins and taxidermied people.

Theyre not people they arent who they arE

The Vast :

Also called The Falling Titan.

This entity deals in our fear of our own insignificance in this universe, of losing yourself in too much space. Its effects involve void, vertigo, and falling, but also anything to do with openness and open spaces, fears like Agoraphobia, fear of deep water.

Simon fairchild is honest to god just vibing hes having so much fun also reeeally long lifespan he likes watching people fall off this and falling off himelf, also mike crew who didnt ask for this but just kinda ended up there anyway cause he got struck by lightning on a hill and got a book

The Web :

Also called The Spider, Mother of Puppets.

Deals with fear of being controlled, entrapped, being trapped and not knowing it, and your will not being your own, of being manipulated. Manifests as spiders and spider webs and patterns like spider webs.

The Extiction :

Also called The Terrible Change, The Future Without Us, The World Is Always Ending

The 15th Entity hypothesized by Adelard Dekker to be currently emerging.

It is not yet confirmed to actually exist, if it is yet to be officially born, or if it is a combination of other powers and their overlap. It deals with the fear of catastrophic change, the destruction of humanity and its replacement by something different, especially via mankind's own causing.

Man-made elements are one of its hallmarks.

Avatars of other Entities would like to prevent it from emerging if possible.

Nobody on this one yet but yeah!!

So!! Usually it’s either the thing you are scared of embraces you and flips your behavior on its head, (Scared of being alone? Make other people alone! Scared of falling? Make other people fall!) Or something you like vibe with embraces and justifies you even if it scares you (Want to know?? Huh?? Buddy? Wanna Know? Or you just want some love? Get u some worms) Like if your experiences fall under one of the categories you probably go there if you’re not afraid of it, or if something happens and you’re terrified of it but not dead you’ll probably end up there hfhghgfh

Oh also here’s a what entity are you quiz if that helps ghfhfgh: https://uquiz.com/quiz/zxE9GQ/which-tma-entity-are-you-aligned-with?embed=False

Basically, does it scare you a little? Does it vibe with you a bit? There you go! You have an entity now! Have fun! HFGhfh

#the asks #tma #tma entities

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scribbles97 · 5 years ago

Text

Left Behind - Chapter 8

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13

Read On Ao3

Val stood as she saw Lucy approaching, unfolding her arms as she reached out to her friend. As part of their basic training for IR full EMT training was a key module. It wasn’t often that Val had to use the knowledge but when she did it never failed to scare her that it was all that could stand between life and death.

When it was someone within their immediate circle, it scared her even more.

“Hugh and Sylvia are on their way.” She murmured as Lucy pulled back from her, “Penelope rang her father as soon as we had them.”

She didn’t blame the young woman, seeing two close friends stabbed was enough to make anyone want the familiarity of their father.

Lucy nodded, glancing around the hospital hallway, “Where are they?”

“Both Tanusha and Kyrano are in surgery. Penny is in the bathroom getting washed and I imagine calming herself down.”

The young blonde had been the face of composure when she had arrived, but Val knew the girl well, had spent christmases and birthdays and summer holidays with her for plenty of years. She knew when the composure was simply a mask though, could see the cracks running underneath the facade that perhaps only a few others would.

“She took it hard?” Lucy frowned, “This won’t have been their fault.”

“I doubt it,” Val agreed quietly, “She’ll just be frustrated, I don’t think they’ve had a mission yet turn quite so sour.”

Lucy nodded in understanding, her face twisting as she blinked hard, “I told her I thought Kyrano was going to do something dangerous.”

Val wanted to ask Lucy what the hell she was thinking. Kyrano was an experienced man in his field. Kayo and Penelope barely had ten years of real experience between them. Not that she didn’t see the other woman’s point. Both knew what had happened after the death of Kayo’s mother, both could imagine how far Kyrano would go to protect his daughter and those he held dear.

Even if it meant losing them in the process.

“We can’t let him slip back to where he was after Onaha died,” She murmured softly, “We’d lose him for good this time.”

Lucy pursed her lips, “He blames himself because of the tie to Gaat. It was him that did this, to his own brother Val. What would he do to Tanusha if he got near her?”

Resting her hands on her shoulders, Val looked Lucy in the eye, “We won’t let that happen. I’ll make sure of it.”

Lucy ran her hand though her hair as she glanced around the space again with a sigh, “I need to sort security, get a team in here.”

“Already sorted it sis,” Lee’s voice called from behind Val, “Got his best people flying in from New York tonight. They’ll be here in a matter of hours.”

“Best team?” Val raised an eyebrow as she turned to him, glancing to Penelope at his side, “Who’d you figure that was then?”

Penelope shrugged as she looked between them, “Kyrano is like family, he’d only let his top people escort any of you, Tia, Jude and Pedro.”

She had to admit she probably wasn’t wrong. The trio were usually assigned to the boys when required, it only made sense that they would be the best to protect Kyrano and his daughter.

“Thanks Lee, Penny,” Lucy smiled briefly towards them, eyes tired as she glanced to Val, “You two should get back. The boys are flying out later so we’ll be crowded enough then.”

Val raised an eyebrow, unconvinced that that was the real issue going on.

“Lee fly home, I’ll follow on once the boys are here.”

“Val--” Lucy went to protest, only to be cut off by her brother.

“I’m with Val here Luce, Hugh’s going to have some choice words when he gets here, I think you’ll need all the back up you can get.”

It wasn’t the reason Val had been thinking of, she was more concerned about what Kyrano was going to say about being tailed by his own daughter. Lucy was under stress as it was, trying to find her new normal with the boys. She worried that knowing it was her suggestion for Kayo to follow her father could be the final straw.

“Are you waiting for Ms and Mister Kyrano?” An older woman in dark green scrubs approached them.

Val turned and nodded, gesturing to Lucy, “This is Ms Kyrano’s godmother.”

Stepping back she watched as Lucy shook the doctors hand. Lee quietly stepped up next to her nodding towards the exit, making his intention to slip away clear. She nodded, only half paying attention to him as she listened to the doctors update.

Something in her chest loosened as the doctor confirmed both were stable, that Kayo was recovering from her surgery and would be free for visitors soon.

“I’m afraid I can’t say more about Kyrano’s condition as I have not attended to him myself. I have been assured though that you will receive an update as soon as he is in recovery.”

The comment put her less at ease, for all they said he was stable, it seemed hard to believe until he was out of surgery. Val knew all too well what could go wrong behind the closed doors of an operating theatre. Perhaps it was simply being in the hallway of a trauma ward that had her quite so on edge.

“So we can see Tanusha now?” Lucy asked, “Is she awake?”

The doctor turned, gesturing down the hallway, “Right this way.”

Val didn’t hesitate in following Lucy to the quiet side room, secluded, private, everything that the security specialist would approve of.

Kayo was sat up in the bed, pale, and clearly not quite with it as her eyes rested half shut and her head leant back into the pillows.

“Hey,” Lucy murmured, “How’re you doing Tan?”

Val paused in the doorway, hand resting on Penelope’s shoulder to stop her from rushing forward as Kayo looked to Lucy. She looked down to the younger woman, eyebrow raised, “You okay Pen?”

She nodded, lips pursed as she sighed, “Yeah. Just… I don’t know.”

Squeezing her shoulder, Val nodded silently, “First time it’s come this close for you?”

The young woman nodded again, her voice barely a whisper as she nodded, “Yeah.”

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders Val swallowed, remembering well the feeling of coming quite so close to losing someone on a mission.

“Pen?” Kayo whispered, “You ‘kay?”

Val released the shoulder she had been holding, letting Penny step forward into the room to take Kayo’s hand.

“Have you seen yourself in the last hour?” Penny teased as Val followed her further into the room.

Kayo snorted, her lips curling up briefly, “Tis but a flesh wound M’lady.”

“Don’t belittle it Kay,” Val shook her head, “Wear your scars with pride.”

She ignored Lucy’s snort from where she sat by Kayo’s head, knowing exactly what it meant.

The saying had come from her after all.

“Is Dad…” She sighed, eyes darting around the room, landing back on Lucy.

“He’s still in surgery Tan,” Lucy murmured, “They’ll let us know once he’s out.”

Green eyes jumped to Penelope, Kayo licked her lips as she swallowed, nodding slightly towards Lucy as she watched the blonde. She knew the gesture, had used it in one of her and Lucy’s many private conversations.

“Tell them,” She whispered, still watching Penny.

There was a hesitation in Penny’s eyes as she held Kay’s gaze and Val wondered just what had gone on before she had arrived on the scene with Lee.

“It was a set up for Kyrano.” Penny murmured, “We watched him walk right into it and let it happen, like he wasn’t expecting it. If we hadn't been there to follow…” She trailed off, letting the possibilities of what could have happened hang in the air.

“Tried to kill him,” Kayo breathed, “So we intercepted.”

Penny looked between them, china blue eyes wide and young, “We think he had a plan, and perhaps we got in the way.”

Lucy was quick to shake her head before Val could speak, “Regardless, you saved his life. That’s worth more than any plan right now.”

Kayo sniffed as she shook her head, “He’s going to be mad at me.”

Val frowned, stepping forward to touch Kay’s leg, “What makes you think that?”

Her eyes were watering as she looked to her, lips pursed tightly as she shook her head again, clearly trying to blink away the tears that had formed. A glance to Lucy confirmed that she also hadn’t expected tears from the young woman, anger at herself was more Kayo’s thing. Val wasn’t sure she had seen her cry since her mother’s death, even then it had been brief and behind closed doors.

“I screwed up.” She whispered, eyes distant, “He taught me everything I know, and I still screwed it all up.”

A glance to the array of instruments at her side, confirmed what Val had suspected. Kayo would never make the admission that she screwed up outloud, but it seemed that the drugs in her system had lowered her defences.

“Kay,” Penny protested softly, “You did everything by the book, and then more. I was there, I saw everything. You didn’t screw up.”

Lucy was standing over her, one hand reaching up to brush through Kayo’s dark hair, eyes watching her carefully.

“You’re tired Tan,” She murmured, “It’s been a crazy day. Why don’t you go to sleep and I’ll wake you up when your Dad’s out of theatre?”

Everything on Kayo’s face was screwed up, trying to hide the emotion she had let slip even as she nodded quickly.

“You go to sleep.” Lucy repeated softly, “It’s alright now.”

A few more moments of quiet murmurings and stroking her hair was enough to settle the young woman as her features slackened and settled.

Looking to Lucy, Val shook her head, the two girls in the room were still so young. Much like Lucy’s boys they had gone through far too much in their short lives, both losing their mothers, both going weeks without seeing their fathers, both thrust into a world of espionage and secrets. They both claimed they loved their lives, Val had seen the way their faces lit up when offered a task utilising their skills, but she knew that neither knew anything any different. It was what their fathers did, and it was what they had blindly followed them into.

“Mrs Tracy?” A doctor stepped through the door, followed closely by Parker, “Mr Kyrano is asking after you. He’s just next door.”

“I’ll stay with her.” Penelope offered quietly.

“H’and I’ll stay with M’Lady.” Parker added, “You ladies see to Mister Kyrano, h’and make sure he’s alright.”

Lucy nodded, pulling away from Kayo as she straightened, “Thank you Parker.”

#thunderbirds are go #Thunderbirds 2015 #Thunderbirds AU #Lucy AU #Lucille Tracy #Aunt Val #kayo kyrano #Kyrano #Lee Taylor #Lady Penelope #parker

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mirainawen · 4 years ago

Note

“But I don’t need a jacket.”

Dean tossed the paper beside Sam. “Spirit of Halloween Strikes Local Pumpkin Patch.”

Sam frowned, returning his attention to the open germanic text before him. “Jude Lawson,” he guessed, and turned a page.

“Not the byline, Sam.”

He paused, looking up at his brother. Dean’s brows rose, eyes gesturing to the paper. Sam sighed, sitting back to drag the newsprint closer. “Halloween irritates me as much as it does you, Dean.” He began, but trailed off as he skimmed the first part of the article.

“Of the two of us, who’s willingly gone to a Halloween party?”

“Pretty sure you went to a few in high school,” Sam mumbled as he unfolded the paper to find the rest of the article.

“Lot of hot girls at those parties.”

“Right.” He only half-acknowledged his brother, focusing on the article. He read, then re-skimmed it. Flipped the paper back to the front page, where the original headline was tucked into the bottom corner.

Wasn’t considered important enough to beat out the front and center announcement Baldwin City Oktoberfest Sees Record Numbers At New Location.

Who wanted to frighten the local yayhoos with stupid concerns like “disturbing messages painted in goat’s blood on various pumpkins throughout hay bale maze.”

“You think this is something more than some local kids, uh,” Sam cleared his throat, “getting in the spirit?”

Dean shot him a look like don’t try to be funny, and shrugged, letting his hands fall from the back of the chair as he straightened up. “Doesn’t hurt to check it out.”

He shrugged, unable to argue that point. “Okay, so, you want us to go with you?” he asked.

Dean huffed, shaking his head. “No, I think I can investigate a pumpkin maze by myself, Sam.”

He shrugged again. “I’ll stay here with Adam then.”

“Right.” Dean nodded. “Uh, Sam…?”

He looked up, brows raised in question.

“Don’t tell him where I’m at.” Dean lowered his voice.

Sam paused, glancing unnecessarily towards the hall leading to their rooms.

“Kid’s been begging to go since last week.”

His brow furrowed. “How did he know about it?”

“Some kid at daycare.” Dean pulled a face.

The word still felt like a coldwater shock to just throw it out there so casually. Five months in and not a single part of the new-normal felt...well, normal.

“Wants to go trick-or-treating too.”

He reacted strongly. “What did you tell him?” Trick-or-treating…he’d do a lot of things for Adam he’d never saw himself doing in a million years, but… He hated Halloween so much.

Dean grinned. “Told him you’d love to dress up and take him.”

“Dean.”

“Good luck, Sammy!”

Sam paused and glanced up. It’d been a couple hours now and he’d yet to see Adam. The bunker was unusually quiet. If he didn’t know better, he’d think Dean had taken Adam with him.

He didn’t think there was anything to find out there at the maze, dumb teenagers being stupid, but he also recognized when Dean was getting stir-crazy.

Neither of them was addressing it yet, but they hadn’t heard from adult-Adam in long enough that things were looking…permanent.

Checking his watch, he called, “Adam? Hey, buddy, what do you want for lunch?”

There’s no answer, and Sam sighed. He shouldn’t have left the kid alone as long as he did. So much he was still getting used to.

“Adam?” he called again, making his way down the hall towards their rooms. Their doors were closed, but Adam’s was cracked. He pushed it open to look inside.

The room was dark. The bed was messily made but made. No sign of Adam.

He sighed. “Alright, shortstack—this isn’t funny! Where are you?” He hoped the nickname at least would raise a protest.

Another thing that had been slowly disappearing.

Still nothing. He checked the bathroom, the kitchen, library, couch, and when that produced no sign of his little brother, something frantic beat against irritation in his chest.

Adam had a tendency to disappear and appear in places he wasn’t supposed to be.

He grabbed a flashlight and headed for the closest storage room when he heard his phone ringing from the library. He ignored it, calling for his brother.

It stopped, and started ringing again. Rang twice, stopped. Rang again, once, twice, three, pick up Sammy. Stopped.

In the ten second delay he knew would come, he rushed back to grab his phone. He answered on the first ring, already knowing who it was.

“What’s wrong?”

“Don’t tell me it took you this long to realize.” Dean said, exasperated.

“Realize-”

“Adam’s with me.”

Sam froze. He can hear and read Dean’s mood through the phone—it’s not amused, and it’s not entirely directed at him. This wasn’t a game.

He walked back to the library, gesturing in agitation. “What the hell, Dean? How did-”

“Kid snuck into the back seat before I left.” He directed some of that disapproval towards their resident troublemaker.

“Because I just knew you weren’t gonna take me!” Adam griped in the background. “And I wanted to-”

“Hey, what did I tell you? Shut up.” Dean told him. “You coulda given Sam a heart attack if Sam noticed.”

“I noticed,” he shot back, ruffled at the way that last was actually directed at him. “I’ve been looking for him!”

“Obviously not very good.” Dean said, though even he couldn’t be sure what he meant by that.

Sam stewed in the irritation rather than rise to it.

“I’m not done here.” Dean’s voice was briefly lost in a burst of wind.

“I don’t wanna go home!” Adam protested.

“Adam.” When Dean used his name and not some form of kid, usually meant Adam was in serious hot water.

And to be fair, Sam couldn’t imagine anything less. He could’ve given Adam a decent lecture all his own, except that he knew Dean would have him beat.

“I’ll come get him.” He said.

“Bring his jacket, and…” Dean hesitated. The Impala door slammed shut. There was still background noise, so he must’ve closed Adam in the car. “Make it quick, Sam.”

He hung up.

The hundreds, if not thousands of people, that were gathered in Baldwin flooded the fairgrounds. Sam called Dean at the entrance, because he had the feeling he could drive dozens of rows and still not find them.

Adam answered. “Sam, do we have to go home?”

No greeting from their rather precocious five-year-old. The thorn in their sides. The whirlwind of energy turning their lives lopsided. The reason Sam was thinking about hanging it up and making sure the world was much safer this time around for his little brother.

“Buddy,” he sighed. He knew that tone. “You snuck out.”

“Yeah, because Dean lied to me!”

“No, don’t make this about Dean-”

“He said we weren’t gonna go! Then he went!”

“Adam. He’s here to investigate. Not to have fun.”

He thought he heard Adam kick the seat. Dean would be pissed.

The door cranked open. “Hey,” Dean’s voice in the background. Sure enough, not happy. “Don’t think I didn’t see that. Cut it out- who are you talking to?”

“Sam.”

He must have gestured or otherwise forcibly taken the phone. “Sam?”

“Where are you guys?”

“Fifth row, by the front.”

He scanned the crowd. “I see you.”

Dean snapped the phone shut.

He tossed his as he pulled up behind the Impala.

“Bring his jacket?” Dean asked as soon as he stepped out. It was windy out, the cool autumn air alternately bursting and going quiet.

Sam grabbed it.

Adam pushed his door open, sitting on the edge of the seat. He looked absolutely mournful, pleading—and he had the look turned on Sam.

Sam ignored him. “Find out anything?”

“Maybe.” Dean hedged. “They’ve already cleared the area.”

He winced, nodding. Made sense. “Gonna stick around tonight?”

“I’m thinkin’ about it.”

He nodded again, moving over towards Adam. “Come on, shortstack.”

“I don’t. Wanna. Go. Sam.” Adam said quietly.

“Here.” He handed him his jacket. “And we’re going.”

Adam refused it, not moving. He looked away.

“Adam.” Sam warned.

“But I don’t NEED a jacket!”

“Kid.” Dean spoke. “Out of the car. Put on the jacket. Go with Sam. Not. Another. Word.” The last minced out when Adam opened his mouth.

He hopped out of the car. “But Dean-”

“Adam.”

He took it mulishly. “I’m not cold, though!”

“Hey, buddy- even I have a jacket on.” Sam huffed, just wanting to diffuse the situation as quickly as possible.

Adam looked up at him. “Please Sam.”

Not about the jacket.

“Turn off the puppy eyes, kid. You’re going home with Sam.”

“Come on, bud- just get in the car.”

Not all the fight had left him. It was obvious in the way he stormed over to the SUV, hauling the door open with his entire body weight cause he could barely reach the handle.

Sam glanced back at Dean. “Uh,” he shrugged, “let me know if you find something?”

Dean nodded. “Oh, and Sam?”

He paused.

“Look up from your romance novels now and again.”

“Haha, very funny.”

Adam’s very much ignoring him, staring resolutely out the window. Today, he hates the booster seat, he hates being a kid, he hates being bossed around, and he hates it when Sam tells him no.

Sam sighed. “Hey, how about an ice cream cone?” He glanced in the rearview mirror. Adam didn’t move. “Or...we could go get pie at Zoe’s. Not tell Dean. Our secret. You want that?”

“I want to take this jacket off! I’m hot!”

“Hey.” He caught Adam’s eye. “Don’t yell at me.”

God, he sounded like an overworked mom. How had that happened?

He was a crappy one, to say the least.

“Saaaaaaaaaaam,” Adam groaned, thunking his head against the back of his seat. He kicked his legs. “I’m just really hot!”

“Okay, calm down.” He recognized the beginnings of a meltdown when he saw one. “Take off the jacket. Just take it off.”

Adam practically threw it. Huffed. Sat back and folded his arms.

“Better?” Sam asked, checking the crossroad before turning.

“No. I want to go back.”

“We’re not going back.”

“But I want to go with Dean!”

“You are not going with Dean.” Now he was irritated.

“But I want to be with Dean!”

“He’s busy.”

“SAM!”

He startled, glancing back. Adam’s eyes had welled up and his chin was trembling, breath hitching.

“What? What’s the matter?”

Adam threw his head back.

“Hey! Talk to me—what’s wrong?”

“I said I don’t need a jacket and you made me wear a jacket!”

“Buddy.” Sam clung to the other side of exasperation for all it was worth. “We took it off. You took it off. Why are you upset?”

“I don’t wanna go hooooooooooome.” Adam sobbed.

“We don’t have to—I said we could go get an ice cream, or pie.”

“I don’t want pie!”

“Okay, no pie.”

“I don’t want pie! I don’t want a jacket! I don’t want ice cream!”

“Then what do you want? We could go to the park?” he offered, scanning the road.

“Noooooo!”

“I don’t know what you want then.”

“I want! Dean!”

“Adam-”

“I don’t feel well!”

Shit. Sam glanced back. Adam’s face was red, covered in tears and snot.

“You feel sick?”

“UhHUH!”

“Okay, okay, calm down.” Sam soothed. “I’m pulling over.” Shit shit shit

He might’ve pulled off a little too fast for comfort. He was too distracted to flip off the Ford tailing his ass when the asshole slammed on the horn.

They were too close to the highway to let Adam get out by himself, so Sam pulled the door open and scooped him up. He barely made it around the car to set him down before Adam puked.

He hadn’t just been being difficult when he insisted he didn’t need a jacket. He was burning up.

#no editing we embarrass ourselves like men #supernatural #tlr #the long road #de-aged!adam #adam milligan #sam winchester #dean winchester #prompt fill #this would be its own chapter in 'Bringing Up Adam' i think actually #so #bringing up adam #ioannemos

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bibliocratic · 5 years ago

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future, jonmartin (some dark themes, cw / tws in tags)

The house is dawn-quiet when they arrive. The day has dragged on long for them to get here; the house is out of the way, far from London and deliberately so, a nondescript little housing estate in an unexceptionable seaside town that is famous for nothing, that draws few tourists and where life generally unfolds as unmemorably as linen.

As they get the door open, easing it back on its lock silently so as not to stress the hinges before closing again with a tut of the mechanism, the early strain of the hour has shrouded the hallway in dimness – a street-lamp a little further down the row of identical standing houses provides dull silvery accents to the photo-frames displayed along the wall of the corridor. They admire the frozen memories. A weekend trip to Bournemouth, the sky pocked with clouds and overcast, gloved hands holding packets of sea-side chips eaten with wooden forks. A surprise holiday on the continent, with the man on the left looking aggressively sun-burnt and the man on the right looking obviously touristy, and both looking happy and sweaty on some Mediterranean veranda. A trio of snaps chronicling a private wedding service with few in attendance; a formal photo, both complimentary and suited, another of those witnessing, dressed up smart and flanking the wedded pair; another evidencing a tender moment clearly caught fortuitously by an unprofessional photographer.

They touch the photo, observing the glassy joy of the taller man, bow-tie wonky and messy from dancing, the unrestrained smile of the shorter, hair that had been clearly combed into a rare state of attention now shaken out, the shy and tipsy delight on his face as he is caught in a surprised and giddy kiss.

There is the expected paraphernalia of a home lining the corridor like domestic pageantry – a key bowl, a pinboard with scattered notices for bin collection days or prescription refill dates or pre-bought tickets for some performances or another. Moving along the hallway, off to the left, the kitchen sedately sits in the almost-dark. Dishes have been left to drip-dry by the sink, the tap is leaking irregularly with a broken patter. Further along, the living room. They thought they might find someone napping on the couch, fallen asleep on the settee, a TV turned down low on some late night channel, but the room is also coddled into stillness by the late hour. A throw blanket is haphazardly nearly slipping off the sofa, a carriage clock on the mantel rhyming gently – on the patterned armchair, the coiled full-stop of a cat is undisturbed by their entrance.

Up the stairs, the wallpaper is marked every few feet by the outlines of framed posters or little artworks; on the landing directly at the top, a bookcase. They admire the obvious concessions made to variant tastes; half the shelves dedicated to dry, academic tomes on non-fiction topics spanning from Ancient Sumeria to a Beginners Guide to Wood Carving, and squashed in the other half, a scramble of slim poetry collections sandwiched by a tumble of genre fiction. Decorating the shelves, small trinkets from random destinations or quiet adventures; a miniature dragon holding a Welsh flag; a snow-globe from Munich; a number of souvenir spoons with their shields proudly polished to a shine. They step carefully across the thick shag carpet, off to the right where the bedroom is. Turning the handle delicately, putting every effort not to disturb the quiet, they steal inside with barely a creak.

The light is gloomy as in the rest of the house, effused with a hint of morning without making much concession, but there is enough slipping through the curtain gaps to see by.

On the left side of the bed, the side-table ill-used by dog-eared books and what appears to be the upturned contents of someone's pockets – cough-sweets, nicotine gum, stray coppers and odd change – is Jon. Curled half-in and half-out of the covers, his face shoved against the pillow like he's trying to bury himself, his right leg is kicked out and exposed to the morning, goose-pimpling in the chill. They find themselves smirking again to see him like this, all his hard brash sides sanded down by age and wear, gracefully having embraced middle age, an influx of grey crowning his hair. He looks soft. Content. All his guards down as he sleeps without the dreams the Eye would have bestowed on him.

They lean over, indulgently running a hand lightly through the hair straggling over his face, and he shifts blearily, mumbling a questioning Martin?

His right hand, fisting loosely against the pillowcase in sleep, still bears the ravaging marks they put there.

He's a light sleeper, and they knew he would be. Didn't want him to wake too soon, to be denied a proper welcome. Jon shifts and stretches and burrows as he slips dazedly into consciousness, nestling tighter against the body next to him still fast-asleep before the thick weight of sleep is dropped and they jolt up, a punched out breath of shock escaping them. And finally they are witnessed.

They watch his expressions free-fall from understanding to despair. His eyes, even now too sharp for his face, a little too hungry, they're shiny in the low light. Flooded with fear. Blown-out with the intensity of it. Exactly what they were hoping for.

“Don't,” he pleads in a sleep-ruined voice, croaking with dryness. He is already moving his body, positioned like a lanky pillar to be between them and their companion, and it's sweet they think, it really is, it's exactly what they hoped to find, two people living in a hard-won happiness. Nice for some, they suppose, while it lasts.

The sound wakes the man on the other side of the bed, and he turns over, ruffled, slower to stir and a groan of complaint almost on their lips. They must catch the tone of Jon's voice though, because they're sitting up, preparing to solve the problem – wos it? they ask, wos wrong?

Before they see them too, and stiffen into a bright terror that's obvious as a firework, and it is such a beautiful thing to see. They must be Martin, they think, giving them the once over; their hair is shorter than in their wedding photographs, and since then they've settled into that comfortable rounding that can come in middle age. They weren't really sure what they expected, when they finally found out where the former Archivist had been hiding out all these years, married and playing domestic, thinking that the crimes of the past might let him alone to be happy.

Oh but this is good. Better than good. It's going to be fun.

The frizzy-haired husband jolts when they reach down into their pocket. He's set his jaw like he's going to do something brave, something foolhardy.

She hopes he will. She likes it when they put up a struggle.

“Don't what, Archivist?” Jude Perry asks, grinning as she lights a match.

#the magnus archives #tma #fic #jonmartin #jonathan simms #martin blackwood #post-watchers crown #tw stalking #tw violent intent #cw the desolation

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holdthosebees · 5 years ago

Text

Never Quite Free

Author’s Note: Part 2 of my series, WKELTAOTTMGATMASFAB. Part 1 and explanation here. In this installment: Jon and Martin, in (web-induced) retirement.

Pairing: Jon/Martin, kind of

Quote: Just the whole damned song.

It shouldn’t be possible, the level of domesticity they fall into. They move out into the countryside, away from London and the Institute, and into a tiny little house with a blue door and a neat little garden plot. Fewer people means fewer temptations on Jon’s part, although sometimes he passes someone in the produce aisle or in line to buy coffee and just knows, in that terrible visceral way, and he wants. If Martin is with him, and he usually is, he’ll put a hand on Jon’s shoulder or back and steer him away, the touch gentle but firm. If Martin isn’t with him, Jon will ball his own hands into fists in his pockets and bite down on his tongue until the urge vanishes or the person leaves. Some days, it’s all he can do not to chase after them. Martin gives him a worry stone with a depression like a thumbprint in the center, and its weight in his pocket is both promise and constraint. Another anchor.

Martin gets a job as an assistant at a bookshop. It doesn’t pay much, but they have the funds they took from the Institute when they left, which they know no one will come looking for. Basira promised them as much, when she took over as head. It was enough to buy the house, and it’s enough that Jon doesn’t have to work, not yet. Instead he spends his days cleaning and gardening and cooking and trawling the internet for supernatural forums, tracking any sign of the lightless flame, or the web. It isn’t enough. Basira sends him statements every month, wrapped up neatly in a cardboard box. These also aren’t enough.

When he gets the package Jon spends the next three days holed up in his room, reading, devouring. He is no longer the Archivist, but once you are marked you can never return to what you were. Martin leaves food on a tray outside of the door and knocks every night to remind him to sleep. Sometimes he does, sometimes he doesn’t. When he emerges finally after those three days Martin takes the rest of the statements up to the attic for later, then manhandles him into the shower. Their life together is full of many petty intimacies, some of them uncomfortable; Martin’s hands against his scalp while he washes out his hair is one of Jon’s favorites, although he would never admit it out loud. He can tip his head back under the hot water, sated and safe, and allow himself a short period of rest.

It doesn’t come easy. The nightmares haven’t stopped, although the new ones come less frequently. One morning he remarks to Martin over breakfast that perhaps he is outliving the statement givers. He makes a joke about hunting them down and killing them for a good night’s sleep, and Martin purses his lips and unfolds his morning paper a little too roughly in response. Later, Jon insists on doing the dishes even though he cooked, and Martin insists on helping even though he’s wearing a decent button up because he has a shift soon, and they even sing a long a little to the radio as they clean.

This is something Jon has discovered about Martin since they moved in together: he likes to sing, is good at it if he thinks no one is listening, but will try to hit the high notes even if they’re way out of his range. It was annoying, until it wasn’t. And then eventually it was annoying again, but a different, softer kind of annoying, and Jon felt comfortable in the fact that even if he complained Martin would not stop singing, not entirely.

There’s a cat in the bookstore where Martin works, and Jon starts bringing him lunch as an excuse to see the cat, and then just to get out of the house. This is how he meets Martin’s coworkers: Allen, the owner, who is slowly going deaf. His granddaughter, Kelly, who smells like bubblegum and has never left this tiny town. Amina, who keeps lizards and asks Jon leading questions about how he and Martin met and how long they’ve been roommates, and how nice it is that they’ve found each other. Jon doesn’t bother correcting her. There aren’t words to describe the ways in which he and Martin are connected to one other, not in English, but the closest one is probably husband.

The world goes on. Jon gets occasional emails from Daisy with rambling updates, most of the information personal. Mixed into the snippets of office gossip and meditation on new tattoos are bits of important information: the Lonely was going to attempt another ritual, the Vast made an attack on the archive, Basira came in one morning and found her entire office covered in cobwebs. Always long after the fact, too long for him to be of any use. He tries not to miss it.

Whenever he thinks about returning to the Archive he remembers the door in his mind, and it is only the thrumming of the thread that binds him to Martin that prevents him from trying to go back. Even for a moment. Just to see a sliver of that endless ocean of knowledge, pure and beautiful. It makes his head ache just imagining it, and he can feel the press of Martin’s concerned disapproval.

They are tethered to each other, and eventually to the house as well, and Jon does his best to make peace with that. He mostly succeeds, although not without incident. It is five years after they moved in together, five and a half since what Jon has privately and sardonically started to refer to their ‘wedding night,’ when Jude Perry finds them. Martin is at work. Jon is busy in the garden, weeding out the basil. The summer sun is hot on his back, and he stops to wipe sweat off his forehead and grab a drink of water when he sees her.

She’s leaning on the fence, her arms crossed, watching him. When they make eye contact, she waves, a sarcastic little flip of the hand. Jon stands slowly--his legs aren’t what they used to be, are aging as fast as his mostly-grey hair--and walks down the garden path towards her. He stops three feet away, his burned hand tucked out of sight in his pocket.

“What do you want?” he says. Once, it would have stopped Jude Perry cold, holding her in place until he’d drained her of information and fear. Now, she only laughs.

“Don’t even try it, Archivist,” she says. “Except, you’re not the archivist anymore, are you? Pathetic. I was just in the area, thought I’d drop by. See where the Mother of Puppets stashed you away.”

“Don’t try anything,” Jon says. He puts a little force behind it, voice dropping into a growl.

“Or what?” Jude is clearly enjoying herself. The wooden fence post has started to smoke where it meets her skin. “You’ll throw a trowel at me? Ooo, scary.”

“I might, if you don’t go away.”

“Tell me,” she says, tilting her head to the side, “does it hurt, being put out to pasture like a lame mare? Knowing that your little friends in the institute are harnessing the power that should have been yours? Does it rankle, being shackled at the leg to that useless man--”

“That’s enough,” Jon says, with more confidence than he feels. He hefts the trowel menacingly. “Tell me what you’re doing here, or get out.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Archivist,” Jude Perry says. Her fingers tighten on the rail, and the smell of woodsmoke fills the air. “I could burn this all down around your ears. Maybe you’d even thank me, eventually, for freeing you. If I don’t kill you first.”

“No,” Jon says. “I don’t think you can.”

Jude Perry says nothing. Her upper lip peels back, revealing teeth.

“If you could,” Jon continues, emboldened, “you’d have done it already. I don’t think the web will let you. For whatever reason, it wants me alive. And you’re not powerful enough to fight the web, not yet. Not on your own.”

“You’re pathetic,” Jude Perry says. “There’s nothing here worth burning.” She turns away, gives him a jaunty salute as she leaves. Over her shoulder, she calls, “You can’t pretend forever, you know!”

Jon watches her go. He has clenched his burnt hand too hard; it throbs where his fingernails dug into the skin. Martin will be home in three hours, at which point they will make dinner in companionable silence. If it’s a nice night, they’ll take chairs out to the back deck, and eat while watching the stars. Jon will ask Martin about work, and Martin will ask Jon about the garden. They’ll ignore the strands that bind them together so tightly that sometimes Jon takes in a breath and feels Martin let it out, and they’ll ignore the fact that Jon barely picks at his food and Martin flinches and goes still whenever he sees a house centipede or an ordinary earthworm, and later on in bed they will cling to one another and whisper where only the night can hear them of the dead, of Tim and Sasha and Martin’s mother and everything else they’ve lost, or else they’ll lie in silence and wait for the tide of distant and unforgiving dreams to break. “I know,” Jon says. Then he turns, and walks back to the garden. There is still work to be done before nightfall, and the basil isn’t going to weed itself.

#The Magnus Archives #TMA #Mine #my fic #WKELTAOTTMGATMASFAB #jonmartin #jo(h)n sims #martin blackwood #in case it isn't clear they were soulbonded by the web and it took them both out of commission #which probably isn't how the actual soulbond process works #but w/e

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