#//Gonna do this to experiment more with the kc style :)

[psyonicscream]

Alright so the results are in.

I’ll do simple doodles for those of you who ask. Just one thing. If you ask for a fairy type pokemon please keep in mind it’s very likely that I will not draw it. It’s not an attack against you personally or some shit.

[ardent-musings]

Attention and Atonement

A Murphy McNully Smut 

For my girl @kc-needs-coffee. I hope you enjoy this bb. 

Warnings: NSFW. 18+. Sexual Activity, Lap Dance, Hair Pulling, Oral (f receiving), Riding

+ Murphy was stressed out from working all day and you do what you can to help him unwind.

           You were absolutely losing your mind as you walked back and forth in your kitchen. Murphy was sitting in the next room working and scribbling in his spread sheets and books that were filled with every Quidditch maneuver one could imagine; and he had no idea how tempting he was as he did so. It was dreadfully sinful how the blonde so good; he was hunched over at his desk, his skillful fingers twirled a quill with ease as he bit down at his lower lip in concentration. His current expression was far more intense than it usually was and it began to affect you in more ways in one.

           The first part of you, the part that adored the boy with your whole heart worried for him. He had been working himself to the bone trying to come up with solutions and strategy, eventually finding problems in everything he devised. He needed to take a break but with deadlines creeping up on him, you knew there was no way he was going to allow himself the luxury. But the second, and perhaps the stronger part of you, needed him. And you needed all of him. You couldn’t stop staring at him as he crumpled a piece of parchment and tossed it to the ground into an already existing pile of trash.

           “Babe,” you quietly approached him, sensing how much tension he was holding in his strong shoulders. God, if he wasn’t a commentator, he would have been a perfect beater; his body was molded for it. “What’s wrong?”

           He tilted his head back, exposing his neck to the girl as he groaned in frustration, “Everything is wrong. I thought I had devised a perfect schedule for myself that would allow me enough time to get all my work done. There was a 97.3% chance that I would get everything done days in advance but I was off. My numbers were wrong. And now, not only do I have to draw up new plays and techniques for the team to test out but I also have to rush to get it all done.

           “I’m losing my patience, darling. Truly I am beginning to panic and I don’t know if I can stay on track. I cannot eat, I cannot sleep, I cannot leave this desk until I am done.”

           He let all of that out in a single breath almost making himself pass out from the stress. It hurt you to see him so overwhelmed, “Everything will work out, love,” You draped your arms over his strong shoulders and gave his a kiss to the shell of his ear which notably made the boy shiver. “How about I go make you a lavender tea?”

           Murphy nodded enthusiastically as he brought all of his attention back to his work. You pulled away and noticed him running his hands through his usually perfectly styled hair, the messy look only reminded you of how ruined it looked in the morning after a long night of fun.

           He needed a break, you needed him. So you turned to the kitchen and began making him some tea, but once that was done you ran to your room and pulled out a stunning strappy cobalt bra with matching panties. It looked gorgeous against your skin and from past experience, you knew it was Murphy’s favorite. You hid the gorgeous set beneath a robe while you grabbed your boy’s tea and shuffled to him.

           “Here you go, sweetie.”

           Murphy hummed, not only from the smell of the calming tea but from the way your nails were slowly playing with his hair. He was adoring the feeling of you grabbing at the roots followed by a gentle scratch of his scalp.

           “Fuck, darling, you’re distracting me,” Murphy stared at you desperately.

           “Well good, baby boy, that was the plan,” your hand trailed from his hair to his neck and rested at the base of his neck.

           “I told you I can’t leave this desk, I have too much to do,” he whined.

           “Who said anything about leaving the desk, baby,” you undid your robe to expose your lingerie to the strategist whose eyes rolled back at the sight of you. “Just pay attention to your papers. I’ll just be here.”

           You patted his lap as you slowly seated yourself on top of him, finding his strong thighs the perfect chair for you. “In my humble opinion, I feel like it’s a smart strategy to give yourself a break, yeah?”

           Murphy groaned as you rested your head against his shoulder, slowly gyrating your hips on top of his, “Darling, god do I want you but I don’t have enough time to stop working,”

           “Then let me do the work,” you smirked as you continued to rock against his lap, and playing with your hair. The boy behind you started breathing more heavily at the friction you caused against him, you were glorious.

           “Goddamn, baby you look good,” his hands placed themselves on your hips, encouraging you to sit down on him fully. That did nothing to help your need for him, the trousers that he was wearing rubbed against you perfectly. “You been missing me, sweetie?”

           “Well you have been ignoring me,” you stood up momentarily just to sit back down, this time to face the flushed boy. His lips looked slightly swollen from all the lip biting and it sent a rush of energy straight through you. “I almost had to take matters into my own hands.”

           You kissed at his neck and he gulped as your teeth grazed his throat, “Fuck, you know, I think if I take a break there will be a 76% chance that-“

           His rant was caught off by you pulling at his hair again, the burn only made Murphy want you more.

           “There will be a 100% chance of you fucking me if you just stop talking, baby boy,” you warned him with a sweet smile.

           His eyes widened at your filthy admission, his stare was suddenly animalistic as he effortlessly lifted you by your hips and placing you in front of him. You were surprised by the sudden change in location, but when Murphy started placing hungry kisses at the inside of your thighs, all you could do was stare. Nothing looked more beautiful than the sight of your baby boy between your legs.

           “Gonna put your mouth to work?”

           Murphy shook his head, caught off guard by your cheekiness. But your jaw dropped when he rolled closer to you and locked his chair so he could get as close to you as he could. He looked up at you with a smirk and lowered his mouth onto you. Nothing could make this moment any better; and then he pulled your legs and placed them over his wide shoulders.

           “Well, darling you and I know how fast I can move my mouth,” he joked as he placed a teasing kissed to your lace-covered clit. Your heart pounded at his grazing tongue that traced the pattern in your panties. God, he was always so fucking good at that you thought as you fell back on his desk. He grabbed at your hips and pulled your pussy closer to him, effectively caging you in his toned arms. “Fuck, I’m gonna make you feel so damn good.”

           You loved when he got like this, so incredibly desperate that he couldn’t help but want to get a taste. And he was certainly starving tonight. He pulled your panties to the side as he finally began to run his tongue along the expanse of your pussy, making you grab at his hair once more. As his tongue teased you, his other hand held you open for him, giving him all the access he needed to your aching clit.

           “Fuck, baby,” you cried at him, which made the boy chuckle into you making you arch your back beneath him. He loved hearing your pretty moans; despite his love for talking, he would go silent just to be able to hear you beg for him.

           “Yeah, gorgeous? You like that?” He smiled as he dug his tongue deeper in you, drinking every drop of you. Murphy took one hand and began rubbing his thumb slowly on your clit, smirking at the way it made you shake on his desk. You gasped in surprise, grinding yourself into the new touch that made you catch your breath.

           “God, fuck, you know I like that, baby. I love that.”

           You began to grab at your breasts through your blue bra, your nipples were already hard just from him teasing your clit. This was going to be a long night considering how tortuous he was with you. He would go from fast kitten licks to your clit and pulling away entirely to kiss your thighs. Nothing was sexier than you being denied your release, he thought as your breasts were heaving beneath your grabby hands.

           “Pinch those nipples for me, honey pot,” he moaned, licking a wet finger and sucking it into his mouth. He hummed lowly at your taste as he placed that same finger and dipped it into you, rubbing at you as he began licking your clit.

           You followed orders, grabbing at your boobs as he continued to fuck you with one goal in mind, to get you to cum on his face. He now held you down as he worked his tongue firmly against your clit as her finger fucked you. Your cries sounded like music to him as he added another finger and pounded into you perfectly. It was so overwhelming how good he was at eating you, and Murphy knew your body from his extensive hours of getting to play with it.

           “Fuck, I can feel you squeezing my fingers, love,” he said as continued to fuck you with the most satisfied smile on his face. “Does baby need to come?”  

           “God, yes,” you cried as his tongue went back to suck at your clit, “Baby, please baby.”

           Murphy smirked against you, thoroughly enjoying the taste of you on his lips. You held yourself up to watch him play with you. He looked so engaged with that part of you, devouring you like he couldn’t get enough.

           “You better cum for me,” he taunted. “I want you to be a good girl and cum for me.”

           His movements were relentless, pressing and rubbing at you which made you jerk against his tongue. Murphy held your hips down on his tongue, making it impossible for you to squirm away. It was overwhelming you; you knew you wouldn’t last long as he pressed down on your swollen clit. Your hips jerked towards him, racing towards your high.

           You were trying to hold it off, wanting to prolong the moment, but your attempts were fruitless as he relentlessly fucked you. He just craved you, moaning after every lick. Your breathing was labored, every part of your body feeling hot to Murphy’s teasing. It just felt too good. He felt so good.

           You cried out, holding his beautiful hair in a tight grip as you finally fell over the edge. He didn’t let you go; Murphy continued to lick at you, working you down from your high. He rubbed at your thigh, calming you until you sat up and pulled him up for a sloppy kiss. You were still trying to gain focus, but after kissing you, the thought of fucking him brought you back down.

           “You look so hot when you cum, darling,” he chuckled against your lips as he rolled away a bit.

           All you could do was lazily smile as you kissed up his jaw to the side of his neck. You weren’t done with him, and from how tight his pants were, you knew that the night wasn’t over.

           “As do you, baby boy,” you wiggled off of his desk to begin unbuckling his belt. “That’s why I’m gonna ride you.”

           He smirked at you, placing his arms behind his head, giving you all the room to undo his pants. You hated how cocky he looked at the moment, but god, it made you want to fuck the smirk off his face.

           You pulled him out of his pants and boxers, rubbing your hand over him. The slight touches made the boy groan in delight, you loved how sensitive he was.

           “Fuck,” he growled quietly to himself, the sound making you sigh. You loved when he vocalized how good he was feeling. Everything that came out of that man’s mouth was perfection.

           “Wanna get fucked, sweetie?” You asked as you sat on his lap, continuing to stroke him. He grinned at you, knowing that no matter what he said, the night would end with you sitting on him. He knew how much you loved getting fucked by him.

           “Come on, baby,” he cooed at you as he unclasped your bra, kissing and sucking on your chest. “Show me how good you ride. Prove yourself, Rising Star.”

           God he was perfect. He knew exactly what to say to get you to lose your mind. Without hesitation you placed a condom on him, rubbing his dick teasingly, which shut him right up. He gripped your hips tightly as you sat up in order to maneuver him. Both of you were desperate for each other, staring into your glowing eyes as you kissed roughly. You just had to be as close as possible.

           Once you sunk yourself down onto him, Murphy let out a whine; you squeezing him was almost too much for him. He had been hard since he saw you in your lingerie. You looked so perfect as you bounced on top of him. Your hair cascaded behind you as you tipped your head back, getting overwhelmed by how good he felt. Murphy loved how your mouth was wide open, gasping as he began massaging your ass and rocking you harder against him.

           “Look at me, baby,” he said as he grabbed you by the back of your neck and directing your eyes to him. It was so intense like this, staring into his eyes with your chests pressed against each other, his dick perfectly filling you. You loved him. Everything about him. He was so beautiful to you, everything about him made you feel drunk of Amortentia; his voice, his body, his heart was gorgeous. “I love you so much darling.”

           You moaned against him, smiling at his declaration and holding his face in your hands. “I love you, Murphy. I love you.”

           The both of you were huffing, with him groaning swears under his breath every time you swiveled on top of him. You could feel yourself tensing on him, every time he slammed up into you brought you that much closer to getting off again.

           “Are you getting there?” He asked as he kissed at the base of your neck. God he was everywhere.

           “Yes,” you whined on top of him, increasing the speed of your hips as he timed his thrusts with you.

           “Well then let’s get you there, beautiful,” he began to firmly rub at your clit, enjoying the way it made you scream his name. “I wanna see you cum again.”

           Your body was moving on instinct, knowing exactly what to do as you fucked in tandem with him. Once again, his attention to your clit left you breathless as you rocked carelessly on his lap, fucking him into his seat. From his position he could smell the lovely floral perfume you always wore. It smelled glorious. But all you could focus on was how you were gonna get off.

           “I can feel you getting close,” he moaned. “I’m right there, too, honey.”

           You could tell; he was jutting into you sporadically, it was all becoming too much for him too. He held onto your hips tightly as he began to nibbling at your neck. Your body was on fire, chasing your high. After moaning his name you came around him as he continued to rock into you. It was painfully blissful, your body shaking at the relentless fucking.

           Murphy was right behind you, gasping at how damn good you felt on him. His hard chest heaved at the feeling and he groaned out your name as he finally came. It felt like every worry he had that day just disappeared and all he could focus on was you. He loved feeling you pressed up against him, he loved how your hearts started beating in time with one another. You kissed his cheek tiredly as he placed kisses on your neck. Times like this with him meant the world; just happily existing in time with each other.

           “Feel less stressed?” You asked as you popped a tiny kiss to the tip of his nose.

           Murphy nodded. He could barely function; he felt so relaxed and could only offer you a soft smile.

           He just held her as she hugged him back, “Thank you for that, love. I needed a break.”

           “I’m just glad to have helped,” you giggled at him.

           Murphy’s eyes grew wide as he rolled closer to his desk, with you still on his lap. He began scratching at his sheet with a hopeful smile. Once again he was back at it, but after a minute he dropped his quill and threw his fists up in victory.

           “I got it baby! I figured out the flaw in my strategy,” he cheered as he finally solved what had been bugging him all day.

           “Really? Post-nut clarity was all you needed?” You laughed at Murphy who dug his face into your neck at the teasing. He nodded with blushy cheeks once he pulled away to stare at you lovingly.  

           “God, that was good,” he began to tickle your side which made you jump off of him and run into the adjacent room. Murphy laughed at your reaction and rolled right after you. Now that he fixed his issue, he could possibly play with you for longer. And you were about to find out.

[hobeymakar]

Disco Love | M. Rantanen

Words: 2,129

This is dedicated to my girl @grenawitka​

A/N: I randomly had a dream about a future significant other taking me out to a 80s-style roller disco as a date because I’m a freak who loves 80s disco a little too much. Since I’m single af and my attraction to the male species mostly revolves around hockey players, I figured I would make it about a player. Mikko was suggested by my girl @grenawitka​ and thus, this was born. In this, COVID-19 never happened and the season and offseason take place at their normal scheduled times

Warnings: excessive amounts of disco, swearing, references to sex, and light sexual content

-

You’re in your room curling your hair to try and make it look as 80s as possible. There’s a new roller disco that just opened up in Denver and you haven’t shut up about it since they announced they were opening it. It literally got to the point where you were talking Mikko’s ear off about it and since he’s a great boyfriend, he agreed to take you there on a date.

You finish curling your hair before throwing a headband over it to keep it in place and putting it into a high ponytail with a colorful scrunchie. You also put on very colorful makeup. You have a rainbow-colored leotard on with a pink skirt over it. You have leg warmers and armbands on and look like you belong in an 80s music video. You put on hoop earrings just to add to the look and take a picture to send to the WAGs group chat. The older girls definitely appreciate the look more than the younger ones who think you look lowkey ridiculous.

Before you can defend your look to the younger girls, Mikko comes out of the bathroom dressed in a dark t-shirt and shorts.

“Really babe, that’s what you’re wearing?” you scoff, not believing he didn’t even put an ounce of effort into it.

“What’s wrong with my outfit?” he whines.

“It’s basic and not 80s enough!” you huff in frustration.

You drag him into his side of your walk-in closet and you give him a whole wardrobe change. After a while, you’re satisfied with his new look, which consists of a bright muscle tank, dark 80s style joggers, and sneakers.

“Alright now go look at your look,” you inform him, gesturing to the mirror.

He takes a look at himself and grimaces. This is definitely something he would never wear on his own accord.

“You look great, baby and it’s one night to make me happy,” you assure him.

“I just hope no one recognizes me,” he grimaces thinking about being caught dead by the media wearing what he has on.

You roll your eyes at how dramatic he is and get ready to leave. After a few minutes, you leave the condo and make your way to the car. Mikko insists on driving, which is better for you because you get to control the music and like the pest you are, you play nonstop disco in the car. The entire ride you subject Mikko to the likes of Evelyn Champagne King, Donna Summers, The BeeGees, Gloria Gaynor, Chic, KC and the Sunshine Band, Fire, Diana Ross, Earth, Wind, and Fire, and more. 

After what must feel like an excruciating long time for Mikko, you finally arrive at the roller disco. The parking is shit, as it usually is in the city, so you have to park a few blocks away in a parking garage. You make the walk to the roller disco, braving the chilly air of the early September night in the city. You make your way inside the building and Mikko pays the fee for two. You then head over to the rentals to rent out old-fashioned roller skates. Mikko had wanted to bring his rollerblades, but you told him that it defeats the purpose of going to a roller disco, since it’s with old-fashioned roller skates.

“What are your sizes?” the guy working the rental booth asks, before recognizing Mikko and his face drops.

Mikko talks to the guy and lets him know their sizes. The guy wishes he could get an autograph but settles for a picture with him instead. After the exchange is done, you put on your skates with Mikko tying the laces up for you. You both then head to the hardwood rink holding hands. Since your skating isn’t the best, Mikko leads you at a much slower pace than he would go normally.

The song Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees starts playing and you feel like you’re being taken back in time to 1979 or something. You start singing along to the song as you skate alongside groups of friends and other couples.

“Aren’t you glad we’re back in Denver?” you ask him.

“Yeah, being back in Denver means a new season is starting and another shot at the cup,” he replies.

“I really believe you guys can win it this year, babe,” you assure him.

“That’s what everyone said last season and look what happened,” he replies bitterly, referring to their latest 2nd round exit. 

“Yeah well that was last season and this season is different! You guys are a year older and wiser and you’re going to make it out of the West this year!” you assure him again.

“I sure hope we do,” he smiles weakly.

“Anyway, we need to start planning our halloween outfit for this year!” you suggest, already coming up with cute couple ideas.

“Babe, it’s September,” he replies, throwing you a look.

“Yeah, I know, but we need to be the best dressed couple at the party,” you reply.

“Why don’t we just dress like we’re dressed now? I think being a 80s roller disco couple will make us best dressed at the party!” he teases.

“As long as I get to see you in tight pants,” you giggle.

“I’m not wearing tight pants, babe,” he replies.

“You’re going to wear tight pants,” you add.

The song Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson comes on and you start singing and swaying to the beat. As you get more comfortable with your skating, you start picking up your speed. Mikko starts showing off by moon-walking on his skates and doing fancy moves.

“You’re such a show off!” you whine.

“You act like you don’t love it!” he adds.

“Whatever, I’m hungry,” you reply, dragging him out of the hardwood rink and towards the concessions area. 

You both look at the menu and decide to split nachos, as well as ordering two slices of brooklyn style pizza and drinks. You wait for your food while I Will Survive by Gloria Gaynor plays, with you managing to sing all the lyrics into Mikko’s ear. Your food is ready and you sit down to eat it in old-school booths that remind you of old pizzerias.

“Have you been having fun?” you ask him, afraid that he’s only pretending for your sake.

“Surprisingly it’s been fun. I’m not really into disco like you, but it’s been really fun. The old-school vibe is nice. I feel like it’s 1989 or something,” he admits with a small smile.

“Not gonna lie, I was scared you were only pretending to like it because I do. I always wanted to go to a roller disco and get that old school nostalgic experience,” you inform him.

“Well I’m glad I brought you here tonight. Does that mean I get the boyfriend of the year award?” he asks hopefully.

“You still need to stop leaving your clothes thrown all over the floor, leaving the toilet seat up every time you use it, and put in a new toilet paper roll instead of just leaving it on top of the holder for me to give you the award,” you explain, shooting him a look.

“I’m sorry,” he replies sheepishly, kissing your cheek. “I’ll be better about those things.”

He’s lucky he’s hot because you honestly would’ve killed him already from how much you have to baby him, like as if you’re his second mom. 

“Thanks I know I’m hot, but it’s great to hear you say it,” he winks, before taking a bite of his pizza.

Clearly, you said the “you’re lucky you’re hot” part out loud and you curse yourself for inflating his already huge ego.

You two finish your food before throwing out your food and heading over to the old-school arcade area. There’s a couple skeeball machines, pac-man, super mario, and a few other old-school games.

“Babe, I hope you know I’m gonna kick your ass in these games right?” you ask, as you make your way to the ticket machine.

“I don’t think so, my love. I hope you know I’m not gonna go easy on you,” he retorts, buying the tickets from the machine.

“We’ll see about that Rantanen,” you smirk, confident in your ability.

“You’re on, Y/L/N,” he adds, not backing down.

You head over to the skeeball machine and manage to kick his ass in that game.

“I thought you said you weren’t gonna go easy on me, babe,” you smirk, knowing how much he hates to lose in anything.

“I was, but I won’t be this time around,” he lies, trying to play it off.

“We’ll see about that,” you scoff.

You head over to the pac-man machine and battle against each other and Mikko manages to beat you in a very close match.

“I thought you were gonna kick my ass,” he teases, making fun of you.

You just shoot him a look and take him over to the Super Mario machine to redeem yourself. After a very close match, you manage to beat him. You two go back and forth and after playing a few more games, you record more wins and therefore are crowned the ultimate champ.

“I’d like to thank God first and foremost,” you say, giving a fake award acceptance speech.

He just shakes his head in amusement and hip checks you lightly.

“I don’t think that’s how you treat a champ, babe,” you tease, still rubbing the victory in his face.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I’m still the better skater,” he retorts, causing you to laugh in response.

You both head back over to the hardwood rink as the song Love Come Down by Evelyn Champagne King comes on and you literally start singing your heart out to the song, as you skate along with him. That song can definitely express your feelings for Mikko perfectly.

“Babe, did you know?” you ask, stifling a giggle.

“Know what?” he asks in confusion.

“That you make my love come down,” you add, before laughing.

“That was corny, babe,” he chuckles, kissing you.

“It’s true! I just can’t help the way that I feel!” you add, referencing the song again.

“You’re lucky I love you,” he groans.

“I love you more,” you smile, kissing him.

You skate for a little while longer listening to all the jams and even watch as some guys start having a battle right in the middle of the rink. After a while, you decide to head home and you return your skates back. 

You leave the roller disco and walk down the streets of Denver, getting the occasional weird looks by people for your 80s style attire. You eventually make your way back to the car. You take the aux once again and play Dancing Queen by ABBA causing Mikko to groan.

“Really ABBA? I hear enough of them from Gabe,” he groans.

“You’re acting like this isn’t a great song!” you retort, as you start heading back home.

You torture Mikko with more disco music durignt he whole drive back home. Eventually, you arrive back at the condo and go straight to the bathroom. You remove your makeup and tie your hair up before changing into one of Mikko’s old team Finland shirts with nothing underneath and heading into the room to see Mikko in bed and scrolling on his phone. He looks up and smiles when he sees you wearing his shirt. You join him in bed and straddle his waist, his hands going automatically to your hips.

“Have I told you before that I love when you wear my clothes?” he asks, his fingers running under the seam of the shirt.

“You may have mentioned it before,” you tease, running your fingers through his curls.

His hands go to your butt and he grabs both cheeks in his hands.

“Someone’s being handsy,” you tease, before rolling over onto his side.

“Such a tease,” he groans in disappointment.

“Quit whining you baby! We’re watching a movie tonight and I’m picking,” you inform him.

He hands you the remote and you choose Saturday Night Fever, the iconic 1977 disco movie.

“Really?” he groans, shooting you a look.

“Just shut up and turn off the lights, Mikko,” you order him.

He gets up begrudgingly and turns off the lights before climbing back into bed. You start the movie and Mikko gets over the movie choice after a while. You two don’t even watch the entire movie, abandoning it halfway because he got too handsy, which was part of his agenda from the second he saw you wearing his shirt. The soreness that you feel the next morning was worth it when he wakes you up with breakfast in bed.

[beauzos]

Webkinz Games Ranked

Because I have nothing better to do and I’d never played all the Webkinz games before now.  Includes Tournament games and board games, but is mainly about the arcade.

Wheel of Wow/Deluxe and Wishing Well will not be ranked, but other Dailies will.

Also include Academy games.  I did not have Plumpy’s Hairdresser when I made this, but I do now upon this edit.

So in general the arcade games are sorted alphabetically, with random exceptions. I’m just going down the list as-is in the arcade.

Grand Grotto - one of the match three-esque games, though you mainly just click stuff.  A little tough, but I wasn’t trying very hard.  The graphics aren’t that thrilling but aren’t bad.  Tries to do something interesting things, but I don’t really love a lot of the Webkinz takes on match three games. 5/10.

Goody Gumdrops - an infinite running style game where you collect gumdrops to progress.  This game is not fun.  Feels like the flow of Kinzcash you get is also less compared to a lot of other games.  Not much going on after the first minute or so. 4/10.  EDIT: I was actually really mean to this game and I don’t know why.  I really like it now.  It’s fun, not too intensive.  Inoffensive and cute.  You actually do make decent KC from it.  7/10.

Polar Plunge - this was one of my favorite games when I was a kid.  You sled down a hill.  It’s simple.  I have never fucking completed a track of this game in my life.  Don’t like the new version, but the art style isn’t offensive.  I find the older art style for the games more charming, though.  It’s fun.  8/10.

Cash Cow - another game I probably played a lot, though I prefer 2.  Another take on the match three.  This game also had its art style updated, but I just don’t like the lineless look of the update.  It’s soulless, and it makes the visuals more busy and hard to follow for me.  All right game though.  7/10.

Smoothie Moves - this is basically just Zuma, which my dad loves playing.  I like this kind of game, too, though I suck at it.  Nice visuals, clean, fun gameplay.  8/10.

Wacky Zingoz - one of those games where you try to hit something as far as you can.  It’s so basic, it’s not really anything, and you can’t make much money on it-- like 10 Kinzcash is generous in terms of how much you make.  Not fun.  1/10.

Wacky Zingoz Extreme - the EXTREME version of Wacky Zingoz, except with more bats and more to do, but still not much.  An improvement.  3/10.

Ant Mania: Picnic 2 - the thrilling sequel to Picnic.  Not bad, I remember playing this one a lot.  You just try to collect food while avoiding spiders and fire ants.  It’s simple, but fun.  Not really my favorite though.  5/10.

Atlantiles - I don’t know how to describe this game.  You match tiles together, but it’s not like a match three.  Never played this game till now, but I love it.  Excellent game, really fun, a little challenging but not too hard.  10/10.

Bananza - a really basic, older game.  You collect bananas and avoid obstacles.  Not the most visually interesting or engaging game.  3/10.

Booger Gets an A - I get the impression this very basic addition game is for the youngest fans of Webkinz, but the games get difficult really fast simply because of the speed.  It caught me by surprise because I had no memory of that.  Not bad.  5/10.

Zingoz Bounce ‘N’ Burst - I remember really liking this game but it’s not very fun to play now.  You try to burst bouncing Zingoz and it’s not particularly interesting, but is challenging.  5/10.

Candy Bash - a brick breaker clone.  Not particularly fun-- it feels like your character is way too close to the bricks.  4/10.

Candy Bash 2: Viva Poncho - this one is about as equally unfun, but not the same game as the first.  You have more ability to move and control what’s going on, but you’re really slow.  You’re just sauntering back and forth to bust candy blocks falling, and it’s just kinda eh.  4/10.

Cash Cow 2 - I like this game.  I’ve played this game many times.  Another take on match three, but I enjoy it more than the original.  Solid game, good fun, I’m terrible at it.  7/10.

Color Storm - somehow wasn’t looking forward to this game but I had some fun with it.  Another kind of match three, but challenging and interesting.  A good take on the broad genre.  7/10.

Crafty Canaries - a match three.  Good fun to play, I played it to completion.  Not too much going on but it’s solid.  8/10.

Dashing Dolphin - the controls are slippery and awkward.  You’re trying to navigate through hoops and through nets, but it’s not fun to control or to play.  1/10.

Dogbeard’s Gold - expected something different from the title, but it’s fine.  The only control is clicking with good timing to shoot from one island to the next.  It’s all right.  Not much to write home about and not much Kinzcash to make up for it.  I liked the visuals.  4/10.

Eager Beaver’s Adventure Park - I don’t like spelling games.  This is a take on one, but I didn’t really enjoy it.  3/10.

Flutter Bugged - just running around and avoiding bees(?) using flowers.  Can get wild pretty fast, not bad.  5/10.

Get Eleven Solitaire - I fucking love Webkinz card games.  This is no exception.  The game is extremely simple and is pretty much the same every level, but I like it.  I like solitaire and I like the take on it to get to eleven.  It’s good, casual gameplay and nice visuals.  I bought a Deluxe membership to play this game.  10/10.

Go-Go Googles - I remember loving this one as a kid, might have even gotten the trophy for it.  Fun, but basic.  You jump to collect flowers and protect the tree from butterflies.  It’s fine, but the controls feel slightly janky, but not bad.  5/10.

Goober’s Atomic Adventure - basically an updated version of Goober’s Lab, except with pay-to-win and pay-to-play elements!  You can play without, but it’s clear they want you to pay.  I do not like this because of that.  0/10.

Goober’s Lab - the OG match three.  Fun, but it’s really slow, like painfully slow.  It is good fun, though.  7/10, would have been 8 without the slowness.

Griddling Gourmet - I wonder how many people have even unlocked this game?  After owning an account for 12 years and playing on and off, I unlocked this game this month.  You get it by completing all levels of the Cooking course, and it’s basically just an arcade version of that lesson.  It’s all right-- I feel like the academy version controls better, but I always loved the Cooking class.  9/10.

Hatch the Dragon - kinda reminds me of 2048?  You try to hatch the Dragon.  Fun, challenging, interesting, and I want to give it a go after the initial playthrough to see if I can do better.  8/10.

Skunk Sweeper: Hide ‘N’ Skunk -  a take on Minesweeper.  I don’t like Minesweeper or this.  1/10.

Home Before Dark - kinda like Meepit Juice Break on Neopets?  I actually do like games like where you’re shifting the position of pipes around to achieve something, but it’s nothing to write home about.  6/10.

Hoppy Little Rocketship - an infinite jumping kind of game.  I like those games, but this game is wildly laggy and that really ruins the experience.  2/10.

Hungry Hog - this game is ugly and not particularly fun.  A take on Pac-Man, I guess?  I liked this game a lot as a kid but it’s just kinda eh.  4/10.

Iceberg Escapades - not fun.  Controls don’t feel right.  Another bland clicking game.  1/10.

Jazz Monsters - this game confused me on account of the fact that the purple monster isn’t purple, but its color matches up perfectly with the keyboard, which is pink, but is actually like, supposed to be the Green Instrument or something.  Not fun.  1/10.

Jumbleberry Fields - it’s a daily, but you have some actual control over what’s going on so it’s included.  It’s Yahtzee except the dice are loaded, but I like it.  This game, like most of Webkinz, is buggy, and one time, I filled up my Jumbleberry Jar and tried to redeem my prize, but the game bugged out and it reset to zero with me receiving no prize.  I’m still mad.  Not really gonna rank it, but like, 7/10.

Jumbleberry Blast - a match three, but this one is really satisfying to play.  Not a whole lot to say about it, but I actually like this one!  8/10.

Leapin’ Llama - game allegedly lets you use the mouse but it doesn’t work.  A basic infinite running game.  Not fun.  Slow.  3/10.

Lily Padz - this game is fuck ugly, but controls good.  Really simple, but pretty fun.  The jumping feels good and the controls are actually tight!  Wow!  6/10.

Lily Padz 2: Tropical Downpourz - it’s like the first one except it’s not ugly and controls really bad.  Hard to gauge how far your jump goes and doesn’t feel right like the first one does.  Not good.  1/10.

Dex Dangerous(tm) and the Lunar Lugbotz!(tm) - the Webkinz challenges made me play this game 500 times and I’m sick of it.  It’s a basic Asteroids game.  It’s all right, but I don’t like it. 3/10.

Lunch Letters - a typing game.  Very Hard really means that mode is fucking hard, so I’m impressed.  I don’t love typing games, but it’s not bad.  5/10.

Ms. Cowaline’s Rollcall - a really fast-paced game where you try to keep track of whether you’ve seen the same Webkinz in a row.  Super fun, I suck at reaction games, but maybe a little too simple?  7/10.

Operation Gumball - I’m bad at this one, and don’t find the number puzzles super interesting, BUT it’s unique so I’ll give it points.  Not really for me but not bad.  6/10.

Pet Party Parade - another take on match three.  This idea of freeing a creature by clearing paths has been used a million times in these Webkinz match threes, like the Grotto one and Jumbleberry Blast. but isn’t as fun.  4/10.

Picnic - the original Picnic, just a take on the snake game.  Simple, but solid.  5/10.

Pinky’s Big Adventure - essentially a remake of Hungry Hog, but with a face lift and some slight changes to the gameplay.  Not bad.  Not my favorite, though, since I don’t really enjoy Pac-Man style games to begin with.  5/10.

Pizza Palace - delicious, finally some good fucking food.  Love this one.  In the vein of Cake Mania, a series I LOVE, you make pizzas.  It’s stressful, like working a food job in real life.  I love this game, but I’ve never completed it.  I wish they gave you more than one life for such a long and difficult game.  Can’t complain much, though.  10/10.

Plumpy’s Hairdresser - the arcade version of the Grooming class.  Fun.  Pretty much the same as always.  8/10.

Polarberry Jam - pretty much like Bananza except now it’s a polar bear?  It’s not fun.  Character is too slow and feels limiting.  1/10.

Pumpkin Patch Protector - fuck ugly, but I don’t know any other Webkinz games like it, so points for creativity?  It’s a click and shoot type of game.  Not much to write home about.  3/10.

Quizzy’s Word Challenge - I don’t like spelling games, but this is more fun than Eager Beaver’s.  Not bad.  It’s kind of like boggle, I guess?  5/10.

Skater Kat - hip and kewl.  The controls are okay but feel a little slow.  Not particularly fun or interesting.  You just skateboard and jump.  3/10.

Spree! - another daily, but you get to do stuff.  It’s a virtual board game.  I like it, and I like the idea of saving up money to spend one you get to the end.  8/10.

Stack ‘Em Up Solitaire - a basic take on Solitaire.  I wish the game looked just a little better- the green they used isn’t really nice to look at for long periods of times.  I like this one.  6/10.

Stardrops - another take on match three.  Looks pretty, kinda interesting, but not my favorite.  5/10.

Tile Towers - I love Mahjong, but the colors they use for the tiles make this game hard to play.  It’s hard to distinguish the tiles apart, so that’s not fun.  If you want to play a Mahjong clone on a pet site, just stick with Koujong on Neopets.  2/10.

Triple Strike Solitaire - Solitaire, except this time it’s in pyramids!!!  I actually prefer this to the other Solitaire, but it still is a little visually unpleasant, but not too bad.  I wish they would update this one!  8/10.

Banaza: Tropical Troubles - the thrilling sequel to the original.  Pretty much the same except you don’t progress in levels, it just keeps going till you lose.  A little more going on, but eh.  The platforming doesn’t feel good.  3/10.

Tulip Troubles 2 - where’s Tulip Troubles 1.  We want answers.  A quick reaction game.  Fun.  Not bad.  Kinda just gets stale after a while.  5/10.

Tunneling Twigsy - this is not fun.  Kind of like the Polar Bear one from Neopets but nowhere near as fun?  1/10.

Wacky’s Bullseye Batter - a batting game.  Basic, fun.  It’s okay.  5/10.

WackyER Zingoz - the THIRD version of Wacky Zingoz, and this one is actually pretty all right.  Way more going on visually, there’s levels, it’s chill.  6/10.

Waddell’s Icecap Adventure - we all hate ice physics, right?  Right.  Mixed the other Penguin game up with this.  The controls are bad and it’s not fun.  2/10.

Webkinz Rally - it’s all right?  A really basic racing game, but I wish there was more to it. 4/10.

Scrambled - love this one.  So simple, but challenging, but fun.  You make omelettes until you win.  Customers are mean to you like in real life.  10/10.

Where’s Wacky - basic memory matching game.  It’s okay. 3/10.

Whimsy Skies - idk how to describe and I don’t want to because it’s got the classic Control Slowness(tm) and isn’t fun.  One point added because I love Webkinz dragons, though.  2/10.

Zacky’s Quest - I want to actually complete this game some day but I have no patience for it.  It’s unique, interesting, kind of an actual game and isn’t a match three.  I like the adventure vibes. 6/10.

Zingoz Bounce - this game disappeared from my arcade.  It was the game of the day the other day and I know they get taken out of the arcade list for that day but when it switched over it didn’t come back and I didn’t have the chance to play it when it was game of the day.  Found it making this list though and it’s a boring clicking-to-support-the-ball game.  1/10.

Zingoz Pie - you throw pie.  You do not have fun. 2/10.

Zingoz Pop - another updated game visually and it just totally lose the charm the original version has-- which you can play in the Quick-Play Arena, at least.  It’s not much, though.  4/10.

Zingoz Zangoz - it’s not fun.  It’s a fruit bouncing game and I just don’t care for the visuals or the gameplay.  1/10.

TOURNAMENT GAMES

Webkinz Supermodelz - I’ll argue that this is the most popular tournament game.  I like it.  You pick out outfits and the judges arbitrarily judge you.  9/10.

Cash Cow Battles - the same as the original Cash Cow but you’re competing against someone else.  7/10.

Wacky Zingoz - no.  1/10.

Link’D - it’s Connect Four.  I like Connect Four.  5/10.

Checkers - I don’t like Checkers because I’m bad at it.  If I wanted to bad at that kind of game I’d play Chess JKSDBFSD.  Tried playing against the AI with Alyssa Fairy and she wiped the floor with me.  3/10.

Bogbeard’s Bathtub Battles - it’s Battleship but with cool power-ups.  Actually very fun.  9/10.

Rock Paper Scissors - what do you think.  5/10.

Chef Challenge - my favorite tourney game.  I LOVE making recipes in Webkinz so this is just a blast.  10/10.

Kinz Pinz Bowling - it’s virtual bowling, so not bad.  5/10.

Goober’s Atomicolicious - a take on Goober’s Lab but with a few more things-- trying to fill vials of color before your opponent does.  I already like Goober’s Lab, so.  This version is not slow, so that’s great.  8/10.

Duck Crossing - not a big fan?  I like that it’s a strategy game but it’s just okay.  6/10.

Zingoz Switcherooz - not a fan, really, but it’s simple and inoffensive.  I suck at strategy games.  4/10.

BOARD GAMES

Farming Frenzy - kinda fun, but really simple.  I remember liking this game a lot.  6/10.

Go Fish - wow.  it’s Go Fish.  5/10.

Jigsaw - love jigsaw games.  For some reason the ask/chat/rap functions pop up and make the game pretty much unplayable for me.  I’m so mad, because this was my favorite Webkinz board game.  WHY does this pop up when it’s a one player game.  1/10.  Would have been a 9/10 otherwise.

Pool - it’s Pool.  But it wouldn’t let me play, so idk.  I remember it being all right, though.  5/10.

Skunk Sweeper - it’s basically an original Minesweeper instead of what we get in the aracde version?  But I don’t like Minesweeper. 1/10.

Webkinz Air Hockey - it’s virtual air hockey.  It’s fun, though.  7/10.

Webkinz Coloring - it’s a virtual coloring book.  1/10.

[thedoozydiary]

Word On Waff

The city of Lagos is home to over 20 million people. The streets are always busy, and rainy days can be quite warm. Dubbed ‘The centre of excellence’, there’s an aspirational spirit to Lagos very few cities possess. WAFFLESNCREAM (abbreviated to WAFF) is a skate brand with strong intentions – to challenge preconceived notions of urban youth in Lagos city. The whole idea is the synthesis of different interests:  skateboarding, BMX, fashion, art and music. It entails a group of people that have a passion for creativity in its different forms. The brand seeks to shed light on Lagos, the forgotten heroes, and forgotten heroes to be. WAFF celebrates authenticity and particularly embraces innovation; it embodies the purist approach to individual culture.

 To get a good idea of what WAFF really is, you can’t speak to just one person: at its core it is a circle of friends that have become extended family – Nif, J, Elijah Zgambo, Kofo, Slawn, Onyedi, Leonard, Nuda, Jide, Fadekemi, AJ, Jordan Thomas, Dae, Millabad, Donnika, Thai Hibbert, Be, Saidi, Bai aka Fuzxy, Anthony Wildman aka Wildest, Omi, KC, and Eva, and that’s naming a handful. WAFF has become network of like minds scattered across three continents and counting. Here’s an image of  ‘The Family’ from a past pop-up.

 Humble Beginnings, History & Formation

 Speaking to AJ, a skater who did videography on the first WAFF skate tour from Leeds to London we get first hand perspective of the brand’s humble beginnings, “WAFFLESNCREAM started in Leeds as a concept, no clothes, no ‘brand name’, just skating,” he explained via Facebook messenger. “Leeds was the first experiment, simply a vibe; there was no reference to home. But Leeds had its own unique style of skating and associated lifestyle we embodied. There was a mutual want to bring something different to skateboarding, and the Bello brothers [J and Nif, who started the brand] had strong ideas of how they would like to represent skateboarding. That brought them to their ‘we’re gonna get this’ moment. The filming and photography was approached with a focus on representing this pocket of life.” This process of organic growth happened again in Lusaka, Zambia when J teamed up with Elijah to help kick start a skate scene that is now in the thousands, before its latest reenactment in Lagos.

 At the time of the first skate tour, the Bello Brothers (J and Nif) were between Reading and Leeds. The original Leeds skate crew had been about their antics as young skateboarders for some time, but J had to move away to Reading for univeristy. The actual concept of WAFFLESNCREAM as a brand was created while in Reading, long after the crew was birthed. J would design apparel while Skype-ing Nif, who made sure the merchandise got to the Leeds crew. And just like that, the first wave of WAFF had begun.

 Shortly after, WAFF collaborated with Redbull to go on their premier skate tour, this is when AJ was brought on board to help document the trip. He credits his loyalty to friends to WAFF eventually becoming his family, “The reason I went to London with them was no one else in Leeds really knew about them and didn't want to ‘dip their toe’ as it were, and trust them. So people saw it as just another early 2011 hype and an exploited idea. I stuck with them because the other riders [in the Leeds crew] were my close friends and eventually J became that also.”

 The first skate tour was ten years ago, and since then seven collections have been released; the last release [titled ‘007’] being two years ago. It seems that for the past 2 years, WAFF has been in hibernation. After expanding the brand through regular apparel releases and pop-ups between London and Lagos, the family doubled down on their mission: to make skating a reality for the kids back “home”. When AJ is asked about the strides WAFF has taken, he tells the classic story of a diamond in the rough, “You know, people who used to snigger are now so surprised at their success and I just assumed it was only a matter of when. On the other hand, the last 10 years speak their own experience and validation. Besides this, the name can definitely turn someone's interest by merit of being so unique. It happens so often when I crack out the ‘Crack is Wack’ [an adopted slogan used in their first collection] windbreaker and everyone's like ‘yoooo’. Hahaha”.

    More Than a Skate Brand

 The last editorial from 007 was shot in 2015 on Elegushi beach in Lagos, this would serve as a preview of things to come. The core of the WAFF family are now based in Lagos and thus, the focus has shifted to a large extent. But there are still representatives across the UK, USA, Ghana and Zambia, who are still loyal to the house J built.

 One of the key components of the brand of WAFFLESNCREAM is its ‘facelessness’. Founder and head honcho, J, is notoriously opposed to any sort of personal press or media angling to portray WAFF as one man’s passion project. And those that have met him know just how passionate he is about it: it has quite literally been his life for a decade now. This selflessness is refreshing in a country where everything seems to be about the individual rather than the collective: from the fashion world to the oft-criticised political realm. J’s personal detachment to the general public has allowed the brand to develop an identity that is independent of any individual figurehead, and it is reaping the benefits. Behind the scenes it's a web of commitments where all the team members bring their strengths to the table. Nuda - a London based creative - has modelled and done creative direction for past editorials, Onyedi solely recorded footage for the last edit (‘Jide’), Slawn does graphic work and illustration for their coveted t-shirts, and Leonard does Illustration and photography. Most recently, Nif (who daylights as a product designer) is drawing up sketches for Lagos’ first skate park: the crowning achievement for the Bello brother.  

 When WAFF initially relocated to Lagos on a more permanent basis, J  and the family brainstormed on ways to integrate into the underground culture of the city. Whilst this was their home, they were still seen by some as foreigners, coming from the UK. The family soon started sporadic underground music gatherings named VIBES. Established in 2015, VIBES was a perfect platform for WAFF to make their mark in Lagos. Bringing people from different walks of life into one room. Be it avid skaters, streetwear aficionados, or simply Lagosians tired of the repetitive bottle service clubs and overpriced bars - VIBES was a safe haven. At the time, WAFF had no office, staff or skaters but VIBES was a way to connect what would eventually become family through the universal language of music. Since its inception, there have been numerous, and usually spontaneous VIBES nights with selectors from the family [Dae, Omi and Fuzxy] all gracing the decks. Special guests such as Seun Kuti and M.I. Abaga have also been in attendance, with the events varying from the back garden of friends to art galleries. The VIBES DJs recently released a mix titled Indigenous Mix Vol. 1 - wonderfully hectic collection of tracks, which currently acts as the soundtrack to the flagship store. Harking back to the early noughties, the mix is only available in CD format, exclusively at the store in Lagos.

 When talking about the familial ethos to work and skating, Slawn states, “Family is what the group considers itself to be. Because we know not everyone will accept and understand what we’re doing”. It comes as no surprise to find out the crew celebrates birthdays and engagements alike. Negative sentiment associated with the ‘otherness’ of emerging cultures stays true to skateboarding in Africa. Elijah [who helped set up the first Lusaka crew] has recounted tales of being arrested and locked up in Zambia on numerous occasions, in a previous conversation with HUCK Magazine.

 Community Ties

 The locals in the area around the store have mixed opinions on skateboarding. The vast majority of them are interacting with the sport for the first time and they are still trying to understand what it is exactly that these kids are doing. They mostly see skateboarding as an unnecessary hazard, but will cheer on when a skater’s ‘impossible’ stunts are landed - pun intended. For now, spectators are watching with an a gaze of amazement, but not quite admiration yet. 

 It takes a lot to be a skater in Lagos. Most of the city is flat so you haven’t the luxury of cruising down hills. It’s a lot of kicking and pushing to get around (this is the only way to pick up momentum when skateboarding). In addition to this, the best areas to skateboard are usually fenced off and/or have security guards. Sometimes skateboarding is wearily condoned at best, but this is without any future guarantees from proprietors of spaces the skaters frequent. Negotiating their way around to find the perfect mix of smooth ground and ‘skatable' obstacles can be challenging, but definitely makes being able to skateboard even sweeter when they can. Everyone learns a trick from someone else, which means that the skate community is connected in a spiritual way too; it nurtures feelings of camaraderie and humility amongst the skaters. Leonard rants on the challenges of skating in Lagos, “You don’t have facilities, or even good roads. You don’t have people who have trained for years with skills you can catch up to, you just have to have a fuck you attitude towards these obstacles and keep grinding. Hopefully, someone picks up a trick from you, you learn from them, and the cycle continues.”

 Leonard chimes in again with a frustrated but humorous tone, “Lagos is trying to be a megacity but the parks aren’t physically accessible, nobody's making their way under a high speed bridge for r&r [a reference to the public parks built by the state in hard to reach areas]".  The WAFF crew is constantly on the lookout for interstitial spaces to skate. Sidewalks are few and far between outside the older parts of Lagos Island, which really comes down to city planning. When Nif and J break the news of a potential skate park, it’s met with as much excitement as relief.

 Go Skate Day (an international skateboarding day) is being celebrated by the crew: on June 21st skate films will be screened all day at the skate shop and their second skate edit titled ‘Linda’ will be premiered. A half pipe being constructed for The 24th of June follows this; it's surely a good time for the skaters in Lagos.   

  The Future of WAFF

 It has been an interesting past few years for WAFF, the brand now boasts West Africa’s premier skate shop in the shape of their flagship store in Victoria Island, Lagos which opened in January 2017. With intentions of making a global impact, it’s fitting to find that the shop’s address is 234 Muri Okunola Street (+234 being Nigeria’s international code). Senegal and Ghana are two other West African countries with a skateboarding scene but have no supplies. This makes the skate shop a regional game changer.

 Despite their considerable strides, international distributors do not always believe that WAFF exists, sometimes going as far as asking for pictures of people buying apparel in-store to prove it’s legit. Kofo, the store manager recalls, “Every proposal feels like a 419 scam, with the ‘Nigerian Prince’ gag and all. The landlord still doesn’t understand what we do. People in public and even parents ask why we do ‘this thing’, they can’t make sense of it”. Outside of Nigeria, there is growing list of African countries with blossoming skate scenes, but only Zambia and South Africa boast skate shops. The possibilities for skateboarding on the African continent are still presenting themselves as the sport gains popularity in little pockets.

 What the store means for Lagos is a cultural meeting point for skaters and creatives alike. After the soft launch there was a 5-week ‘Friends & Family’ exhibition featuring photography, illustrations, graffiti, paintings and music from different members of The Family. The space changes to suit its needs as it grows, while keeping the environment interesting and cosy. The original back office is now a production room. Recently the till was removed completely only to be replaced by a sofa. There’s a cat that roams around, but mainly just chills in the stock room.

 In a country where the WAFF crew is more of an outsider pack, only the youth and future generations may enjoy the luxuries of a developed skateboarding scene aided by private and public support. The marginalised action sports enthusiasts - the skaters, bmx’ers, and more - may soon find themselves represented on an international stage. Skateboarding was just green-lit for the Tokyo 2020 Olympics and the intro to an epic underdog story has been penned. The question if Nigeria (or even Africa) will have its own Cool Runnings moment will surely be answered in due time.  Other extreme sports in the region need a way to tell their own stories, but it’s the Wild West right now and there are no rules. WAFFLESNCREAM dually serves as a source of inspiration, and the benchmark to inspire other brands to come forth. London and New York are two cities that have seen skate brands revolutionise youth culture, and we can only hope Lagos is next. The infamously media-averse J finally speaks on the record when I ask him about his views on the future of skateboarding: “Africa is ready, let’s see what happens.”

Words: Baingor Joiner

Editor: Seni Saraki

Client: Native Magazine - ‘Birth Issue’

[nofomoartworld]

Hyperallergic: Why Patti Smith Writes

Patti Smith (photo by Steven Sebring)

Patti Smith knows her new book, Devotion (Yale University Press, 2017), isn’t for everyone, but it’s a gift for those who get it. “I think the kind of people who will like this book — because I think a lot of people won’t like it or will dismiss it — are people who like to read and are curious to see how a piece of work comes together,” she tells me. By turns allegorical, metaphysical, fictional and factual, Devotion shows rather than tells what it means to give a life to writing. A master of poetic innovation, Smith takes her style to the next level in this slim volume, embedding a tragic short story between an autobiographical introduction and a shorter essayistic coda, which demonstrate how her direct experience traveling around Europe alchemized into a short story.

I first encountered Smith’s work when I was in my early twenties. Like so many people before me, it gave me permission to do what I wanted to do, reminded me that it had never been easy and testified to the power of love. Sometimes, in the ensuing years I would pick up a book of hers mid heartbreak or writer’s block, post coitus or cry, and flip to a random page. Smith’s words brought inspiration and guidance without fail.

With the release of Devotion, she formalizes the guidance many have sought from her. I had the chance to speak with her directly. Our conversation roved from spiritual practice to mentorship to musicality and back.

Katherine Cooper: How do you begin a book?

Patti Smith: Well with this little book, Devotion, the genesis was a talk I was invited to give at Yale about writing, and then the idea was that I was supposed to expand the talk into an essay about writing. How I set to work with Robert’s book was, again, not something that I chose. I had promised Robert, the day before he died, that I would write our story. I had been mostly unpublished (still am) so it was a bit daunting to start such a big nonfiction project. I wrote many, many chronological outlines trying to remember everything that I could. M Train was much more fun. The cowpoke in M Train is really Sam Shepherd and Sam and I talk about writing all of the time. I had this dream about him and then I just decided to see if I could sit day after day writin’ about nothing, no plot or anything, you know, just writin’, to see what happened.

KC: It’s interesting to hear you call Just Kids “Robert’s book”— you’ve said that you see the making of art as a gift. Devotion is dedicated to Betsy Lerner, but who is it for more broadly?

PS: I dedicated it to Betsy because she has been my editor since Just Kids. It took me so long to write that book that I was actually dropped by the first publisher, which was Doubleday, and Betsy continued on with me. She also eventually left Doubleday and she became my agent and continues to be my guide. But I suppose it’s to people who like to read or people who are writing.

KC: Eugenia, your central character in the story, is born with a natural gift for ice skating. It’s in vogue right now to think of creativity as innate to everyone—I wonder if you think that some people are just born with talent and some aren’t?

PS: A creative impulse doesn’t have to blossom as art. But absolutely some people are born with special gifts and they can be excruciating and cause a great amount of sacrifice. What it means is that you go through life sometimes with a half life because at least half of your life is devoted to practicing, working, developing your craft. Many people can learn things but I think there are others who, for whatever reason, have a calling— it’s in their blood, their ancestors had a specific affinity towards a certain thing, or [they’re] touched by God. It doesn’t make them more valuable than another person, but people do have gifts. And then there is the lack of gifts. I would love to speak language, for instance, but I can’t speak anything really except English — yet there is a cashier at the deli down the street who can speak fourteen languages and I keep telling him, “you should work for the UN!” He’s a polymath.

KC: Yeah I was gonna say he’s not only a cashier, he’s a polymath.

PS: He’s not a cashier, he just plays one on TV.

KC: This book is in many ways the first book you’ve written that’s not devoted to someone that you have been involved with — Robert Mapplethorpe is the central figure in Just Kids and your late husband Fred Sonic Smith is in M Train ….

PS: The story is called Devotion, but what [Eugenia] is devoted to is not a love interest. The love interest to me in this little book is writing. And for her, her love interest is skating. It’s one’s craft.

KC: I was paging through M Train again, after I read Devotion. I was struck by a line the Cowpoke says right at the beginning: “The writer is a conductor.” Devotion has a musicality to it. It’s almost like a fugue. I was curious what role musical form or music played in how you structured this book, if it did at all.

PS: In the beginning, I’m talking about this film, In The Crosswinds, about the Estonians. If you felt like it, you could go to the YouTube and see the trailer. You hear a voice, the voice of Erma. I don’t know the Estonian language but this girl had the most lyrical voice and it haunted me like a musical refrain. I’m sure that in the book I talk about it: “Luckily traffic is thin as we enter the Holland Tunnel. Relieved, I sink back into the voice of Erma. I imagine writing a story guided by the atmosphere of the particular resonance of a particular human voice — her voice — no plot in mind, just trailing her tone, timbres and composing phrases as if music and superimposing them, transparent layers, over hers.” I didn’t have music in my head per say but I had that musical quality of her voice as my inner voice for that story. That was just something I did that I figured no one would notice.

KC: Rhythmically it feels so distinct as opposed to the other two parts.

PS: Also, I wrote the whole story on a train, so I think that also comes into play.

KC: The title of the series “Why I Write” gives the illusion that you might be in for a straightforward answer but —

PS: Well, I think that the last line of the book answers it as well as it could be answered. My answer is the same as [Eugenia’s] answer: “We write because we cannot simply live.” I can’t even go to the bathroom without a book in my hand. I have to have a book with me, or a notebook, and I’ve been like that for most of my life. You know, being an artist is like being a double agent. You’re trying to move through life with full attention but you can’t because something happens that triggers an idea. I’ll be sitting at a concert listening to Beethoven and my mind makes up a story and then I feel compelled to write it instead of listening to Beethoven. It’s that dual thing. You wanna engage fully in life and give your loved ones your full attention but often you just can’t.

KC: Somebody once said to me, “When Patti speaks she incants; very few people have that ability.” How do you cultivate a practical relationship with the divine in your writing and performing?

PS: We always aspire to something higher. As a child, it seemed to me disappointing to be in a world where everything was already figured out and there was nothing more to want to achieve than making a living. My mother taught me about god before I went to Sunday school. That to me was very liberating, the idea that there was some higher force. I didn’t really have any expectations or idea of what god was, it was simply that there was something to aspire to, something that kept on going, that was infinite.

It might be as something as practical as you’re on stage and you flub something, so you just draw from some part of you for everyone to have a good laugh to transcend this rough moment and then it becomes a courageous act instead of just a piece of humiliation. Other times it’s something deeper. The way I practice communing with this other aspect, this intimate aspect, is forever changing, Sometimes it’s just talking to my mother. Sometimes it might be very abstract prayers that have no words and sometimes it might come through in a piece of work. I don’t have any specific belief system or expectations. I just believe.

KC: As I was reading this book I was thinking about the relationships of mentorship and inspiration that are peppered throughout it. You find yourself at this moment becoming an inspiration and an icon for young artists specifically — it seems like a lot of people are turning to you for answers. In my view, your work presents questions and mystery. I wonder — do you share some of your characters’ ambivalence about mentor status?

PS: Eugenia has two mentors — Maria and Alexander — but in the end the one she believes in the most is herself. She keeps showing them that she’s her own person. She has a vision that might be beyond their grasp.

It’s the mentor’s duty to let his acolyte go on without them and hopefully eclipse them. Sometimes people thank me because they say, I helped them get on the right track or something of that nature and I always tell them, “I’m glad that I was of service but you would have found it on your own.”

Sometimes [people] hold you in reverence or something and that’s a very nice thing but I think it’s really important to say “Thank you but may you eclipse my own efforts.” Or, “may you do something totally different. I have no desire to be a leader of a cult or anything. I’m a responsible person but I don’t wanna have the responsibility of all these people. I want them to be responsible for themselves and believe in themselves. I’ve been inspired by hundreds of people, thousands of books, songs and movies. Even in this little book it was Patrick Modiano and Simone Weil and the little Russian skater, all these different factions in the cauldron of my brain stirring it up and that’s what came out — this little story and this little book.

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