#//And in further canon divergency; she would not fully killed by the girl but damn near so close to death
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dutybcrne · 10 months ago
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In my hc, Indarias after going mad from the karmic debt she’d been afflicted with, would eventually come to be the malevolent being that had deceived Shenhe’s father and attempted to devour the girl.
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fullmetalscullyy · 4 years ago
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the way it was - chapter 37
summary: what if riza never went to war? riza hawkeye has just married the man she loves. six months into their marriage, an unexpected surprise stops her from following roy to the military. a canon divergence au that explores what might have happened had riza been unable to join the military. there will be plenty of family fluff, angst, and royai.
rated: m | warnings: no archive warning apply
read on ao3
1915
i can only tell you how it, how it looks from here
i think you've made up your mind
i think you've made up your mind
Everything about this room set Riza’s nerves on edge. The glaring white walls were bright enough to give her a headache. The decaying body across from them, surrounded by pieces of smashed armour, was creating a stench strong enough to make her gag. Riza pressed a hand against her mouth and nose, stifling it as best she could. It didn’t help much. The smell still made her stomach lurch.
Aside from the foreboding atmosphere of the room, the smirking homunculus at the other end was making her skittish. That was the same one who’d tried to kidnap her earlier, probably to use her against Roy. When they’d first set eyes on Riza, Envy flashed her a smile with teeth fully on show. It was unsettling.
“Nice to see you again, Riza,” they’d sneered at her.
In response Riza lifted her gun higher, aiming down sights to settle it upon their face.
It had been a while since she’d fired a gun. Riza wasn’t sure if she had it in her to shoot to kill someone, but she would do her utmost to protect those she loved. The wounds didn’t need to kill, just hinder, and slow them down. The thought settled uncomfortably in her gut but Riza was not naïve. The homunculi wouldn’t go easy on her just because she was a civilian. When it came down to it, she had her children and her husband to fight for. She’d fight to survive for them. Growing up she’d learned how to survive from a young age and had been forced into doing what needed to be done far too soon. Now would be no different. If they threatened to kill her, kill her family, then she’d fight back. There was no question about it. The weight and consequences of any actions would be dealt with later.
After Envy’s welcome party Roy stepped up close behind her. He placed his hand gently upon her hip to garner her attention.
“Stay close,” he murmured in her ear, before moving around her, placing himself between her and Envy.
He didn’t know just how much comfort that action provided.
Even half shielded from view, Riza never relaxed. Her gun lowered so it wouldn’t be pointed at the back of Roy’s head, but her muscles were still coiled tightly and ready to react at a moment's notice. She didn’t let her guard down.
“Got your back,” Riza replied quietly.
Still facing away, Roy’s head bobbed once. Taking that as a sign he acknowledged her, Riza turned her gaze to the rest of the room. Her eyes skipped between everyone in front of her, making sure Edward was all right.
The strap of the rifle Breda had presented to her threatened to slip off her shoulder, so Riza shrugged it back into a comfortable place. She didn’t see the need for her to have two weapons however she had to admit, she did feel more comfortable with the rifle. That was what she’d grown up with and it was a comfort to know her preferred weapon wasn’t far away. Not that she wanted a weapon at all, but Riza knew these people could very easily kill her. She didn’t want to be left defenceless. Not when she had two children waiting for her to come home.
Finally, returning to the conversation, Riza turned her attention to Envy. They smirked maddeningly and Riza’s stomach twisted.
“Congratulations, Colonel Mustang. You’ve finally hunted down your culprit.”
Her stomach dropped.
Envy’s body glowed bright red, changing and morphing into -
Gracia.
They’d… They’d killed Maes… Using Gracia’s face...
The gun in Riza’s hands dipped to point at the floor with her shock. Riza didn’t even realise. She was too stuck on the revelation that this was the person who’d killed one of her dearest friends. They’d taken a loving father away from a child, left a woman widowed… Made him think his own wife had killed him - 
“That’s enough.”
Bile crawled its way up Riza’s throat, but it stalled when she saw Roy move. Her head snapped to face him, seeing his whole body shaking with…
Rage.
Gloves were tightened over his hands and all Riza wanted to do was reach out, place a hand on his shoulder, and jerk him back, out of reach of Envy. Anything to break his concentration. Envy was taunting Roy, playing with him, and it caused Riza’s fear to skyrocket. Roy had already been volatile enough about this topic of conversation at home. He didn’t need to be teased further about Maes’ murderer. But Riza was frozen in place. Her brain was still trying to process that this was who’d murdered Maes Hughes.
Roy walked toward Envy so Riza lifted her gun, training it on Envy’s form now that Roy had stepped out of her line of fire. She swallowed thickly, past the lump in her throat.
“This one is mine, and mine alone.”
Her breath caught, eyes nervously shifting over to look at Roy again.
Please… Please don’t do anything reckless, she pleaded inside her head.
“Mrs. Mustang, do you really think the two of you -?”
“Edward, go.” She shifted her grip on the gun. The day was not won, and they still had a job to do. Edward still had his own goals to achieve. “You’ve got somewhere to be.”
“Are you sure?”
“She said go, Elric,” Roy snapped.
Riza frowned at the back of his head, affronted by his tone. Still, she wanted Edward out of here. Riza felt the same way about the young girl standing by Scar too. She was sure they were more than capable, but her maternal instinct was clawing its way to the surface. She could handle Roy, and they had somewhere better to be.
They walked by without incident. Envy glared as they passed but made no move to stop the group. Their tongue was still smoking after Roy had snapped earlier, burning it to stop them from talking.
“You go too -”
“She’s not getting to leave,” Envy sneered. “No,” they smirked, “I think she can stay here with you and watch how you work, Colonel.” Envy snickered to themselves and Riza’s stomach twisted uncomfortably.
Before Roy could open his mouth to reply there was a deafening crack of energy.
The pistol fell limp by her side. Riza’s mouth parted in complete shock, brain struggling to comprehend what was in front of her.
Envy had changed shape completely. The massive form of a green… She didn’t even know what to class it as. It was no beast she knew of, more a culmination of numerous beings all mashed together into one. The human bodies and faces that pressed out from the green skin almost made her vomit. It would be naïve to think they weren’t real people stuck inside there but… Riza couldn’t help but hope beyond hope. A foolish hope, but enough to keep her sane for the moment. It was enough to keep her breakfast in her stomach and stop the horror from keeping her completely frozen in place.
Her fear about running from the imposter at her front door was validated in that moment. Initially she’d been compliant so she could avoid any kind of conflict as the homunculus’ powers were unknown. Seeing this new form in front of her Riza was really damn glad she hadn’t fought it. Those massive paws could end her life in one playful swipe.
“I’ll give you the fight you’re looking for Colonel, seeing as you’ve been so relentless in your search for Hughes’ killer. However, I can’t exactly tread lightly in this body so you better -”
Envy’s eyes erupted into flames. Riza balked at the show, their howl of agony slicing through her entire body and making her shudder. 
“What’s it like having the fluid inside of your eyes boil? I’d imagine it might sting a little,” Roy stated coldly.
Riza turned to look at her husband. Dread prickled over her skin, lifting the hairs on her arms, and turning her blood to ice. Horror roiled inside her chest, squeezing her heart painfully and making her break out in a cold sweat.
Enraged, Roy didn’t relent on his assault and Riza could only watch on, terrified.
This was the power she’d unleashed upon the world. These flames had ravished the desert, razing it, and destroying everything in its path. Riza was well aware of this, had discussed it with Roy years ago, but had never seen it at work.
“I think she can stay here with you and watch how you work, Colonel.”
Envy had already known of Roy’s destructive power.
Shortly after they were married, he’d playfully lit the fireplace with it, used it to light the gas on the cooker – sometimes with almost disastrous results – but after Ishval the gloves were neatly tucked away inside a drawer and were never brought out except for when he went to work. He never wore them again inside their home, taking his time to coax a fire from the coals on their hearth, or almost burn his fingers with a match.
This was the power that had torn him apart once before, it was threatening to do it again.
Riza couldn’t let that happen.
Envy’s massive form shifted, their tail swinging to hit the wall beside them. The force of it blasted rock towards Roy and Riza’s heart lifted into her throat.
“Roy!”
His hands lifted to in front of his face to try and shield it, but she lost sight of him as more stone flew by and dust filled the room. Riza crouched low, feeling grains of stone scrape gently across her hands as she covered her head. Luckily, she was out of range of Envy’s attack.
“You coward!” Roy barked.
She heard footsteps against the stone floor, running. As the dust cleared she saw her husband running towards the door Edward had walked through, and Envy was nowhere to be seen.
“Roy, wait!”
She was desperate. Riza took a step towards him. She’d heard the fury in his voice, saw the inferno of hate inside his eyes before he’d attacked Envy. In her mind she was silently begging Roy not to run headfirst into something he’d regret. But she never got a chance to voice it aloud.
“You stay here where it’s safe,” he called over his shoulder, running towards the door. “I don’t want you to get hurt. I’m going to take care of Envy myself,” he spat.
She hated hearing the fury in his voice. That wasn’t the Roy she knew. This wasn’t the doting father who laughed and cherished his children. Riza knew his time in the military hadn’t been sunshine and roses. It had been difficult and cruel, but this was something else entirely. He was changing, teetering on the edge of morphing into… into a monster. If pushed enough he just might. The realisation of it cut deep into her chest, making it ache as she exhaled.
Her shoulders slumped as she stared after his retreating form. She felt momentarily helpless –
Riza frowned. As if she would stay and let him run off to fight Envy alone. The irritation and anger she’d felt festering during their last argument about him seeking revenge and justice came hurtling back. He was losing it, but he’d already said he didn’t want to become a monster again. Riza wouldn’t let him.
The pistol was gripped tightly in her palm. Riza started moving and picked up her pace to a run. Her gun was cocked and ready.
As she walked through the tunnels she’d heard the explosions, heard Envy’s distant screams. Riza was on high alert. The blasts and the screaming eventually stopped but she wouldn’t let her guard down until she knew for certain Envy had been defeated. The sudden lack of them made her wonder if Roy had already defeated and delivered his justice to Envy, but she held onto the slim hope that maybe they’d just escaped. She clung to it desperately.
Footsteps were approaching her current position. They were in the hallway ahead, heavy but steady as they walked. Ducking, she hurried as quietly as she could to the opening where the tunnel she was in opened up into another. Gun poised and ready, she waited for whoever was approaching to come into view.
At the last second, Riza spun out and swung her gun, lifting it so it came face to face with - 
Roy.
She blinked at him, surprised to have seen him so soon. Her shoulders fell with relief and realisation but paused when she saw the dark look in his eyes. His stare was hard as he looked down on her.
A seed of doubt planted itself into her mind when he remained, poised to snap at her, for a moment longer. He should have recognised her right away...
Was this…
Unless he thought she was Envy.
“I told you to stay behind, Riza.” Roy straightened his posture and lowered his hand to his side. His hand relaxed and went limp.
“I wasn’t going to let you face this alone. I already told you that.”
Riza thought he might argue with her, stating it wasn’t safe down here, but he just scoffed quietly and shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Where’s Envy?” She rose to her feet and lowered her pistol but didn't loosen her grip.
“They outran me.” He turned away from her, speaking into the empty tunnel. “This place is like a labyrinth. You might as well help me kill them now that you’re here. Stay right by my side, Riza,” he ordered over his shoulder. “Don’t leave it.”
Without another word, Roy walked off, leaving her to stare after him.
That seed of doubt was putting down roots and sprouting slowly within her mind.
Riza started to walk behind him. He didn’t even acknowledge her.
“You might as well help me kill them”. That didn’t sit well with Riza at all.
I don’t want to get you involved. He’d told her that, adamant about that fact, when she’d offered to help Winry after she’d had a run in with Scar. He’d begged her to stop pushing for her own safety, as well as their unborn child’s.
I didn’t intend for this to happen. He’d been miserable as he reassured her of that on their couch after his meeting with Bradley. And it was me that put you in harm’s way.
This isn’t over, he’d vowed after seeing that Pride had hurt her. I swear my life on it.
Roy had never wanted her to get her involved in anything relating to his work. He’d even fought to share his plans for the day with her, stating the less she knew the better. However, she’d managed to wear him down and it had helped him to talk it through with someone, rather than shoulder it all by himself.
Before running off after Envy he’d even told her to stay where it was safe. That he didn’t want her to get hurt. Why would he invite her to help him kill Envy, when he knew that was the opposite of what Riza wanted him to do?
This was not her husband.
Riza lifted her pistol towards Roy’s head. She let out a quiet breath, ignoring the horrible imagery of pointing a gun at her husband, poised to kill.
He stopped, turning to half face her. His fringe was almost hiding his eyes, but his expression never changed. It was the same steely one he’d worn earlier when he didn’t lower his hand, despite realising it was her around the corner.
It was possible he was just being cautious but his command to help him kill Envy was what settled it for Riza.
Slowly, Roy turned back around and lifted his hands in surrender. “Do you know who your gun is pointed at?” 
Riza scoffed. “Who? Don’t make me laugh. When we’re alone, my husband calls me by my maiden name. A throwback, to old times.”
She heard Roy gasp, then jump away in a flash. As he did so, red sparks erupted from his body as it morphed into Envy. “Maiden name?” Envy scoffed. “What kind of weird marriage do you two have -?”
“I lied.”
Riza fired, hitting Envy in the face with her bullet. They cried out in pain, hurtling backwards to crash into the ground. Her stomach lurched with the impact of that first shot, very aware that she’d fired at another ‘human being’. She knew they couldn’t be killed so easily but… It was still jarring.
Just like it had been after her first successful hunt as a child.
Fight to survive, Riza.
Red sparks erupted around Envy’s face, healing the wound she’d just made, repairing skin and muscle insanely fast. It angered Riza that they could heal and repair themself so easily while a friend couldn’t and had been left for dead in a phone booth in the middle of Central.
“It was nice of you to fall for it though, Envy. And now you can do us all the favour of dying.”
Riza fired again and again, almost emptying a clip into the homunculus. 
“Ow! That hurts!” Envy yelled at her.
Something very green and sharp shot towards Riza, cutting into the skin of her shoulder faster than she could react. The arm that held her gun jerked out as she ground her teeth together against the pain. The way her body spun from the impact made the rifle strapped to her back lose its grip on her clothing and it slipped down her other arm. Riza caught it quickly, so fast that even she couldn’t believe it, but she was being fuelled by indignation and this being’s carelessness for human life, as well as adrenaline. With that combination, the rifle was caught easily.
Riza’s knees buckled with surprise and the sudden pain in her shoulder. One hit the ground painfully as she steadied herself, getting ready to fire. Despite the rough treatment and the recovery from Envy’s strike, she still managed to hit her target.
Envy’s body jerked with the hit, pushing them back a step with every single one until they dropped to their knees.
“You’re really annoying with that thing!”
Furious, another bolt of green disrupted the stones beneath her feet before shooting up and racing towards Riza. She stood sharply but it was too fast to dodge. It wrapped around her entire body, sealing her arms against her body tightly. It squeezed impossibly tight, restricting her ability to breathe. Gasping for a breath, Riza’s eyes bugged open wide as she was lifted off the ground. Knowing what was coming before it happened should have helped her prepare, but she was too caught off guard. She was still recovering from the sudden lack of oxygen and the pain lancing through her shoulder. She was slammed down into the concrete, the back of her head bouncing sickeningly off the stone. There was a crack as her hair clip broke and let her hair loose. The blonde strands tumbled down her back and over her shoulder, springing free from their restraint.
“I’ll dump you at his feet like a rag!” Envy cackled.
Gasping, Riza lay there as she tried to blink away the spots from her vision. They danced in front of her, but one thing did make its way into her pain addled mind, there was a quiet snap in the distance. It sounded so out of place that it caught her attention. Riza knew what that snap meant.
Envy screamed as Riza felt a sudden heat. Looking down her body Riza saw flames lick at the green appendage holding her still. They stopped far enough down that they wouldn’t harm her, but the sudden rush of flames made the skin of her face heat up.
“Roy,” she cried out, partly with relief and partly to get him to stop.
There was another snap and Envy was consumed by fire. Their screams drowned out Roy’s approach so Riza had no idea where he was.
“What in the hell are you doing to my wife?”
Riza’s head snapped up, blood running cold at the fury she heard in his voice. His face was like thunder as Roy stared Envy down. Glancing over at their enemy, Riza finally saw fear in Envy’s face. They were petrified. They’d made a mistake going after her and now there would be hell to pay.
“Don’t interfere, Riza.” His tone was softer as he spoke to her but that look in his eyes… His rage knew no bounds. “I told you I would deal with this, and I don’t want you to get involved.”
Before she had a chance to reply hell rained down on Envy, like fire and brimstone. Roy snapped and grunting, letting out all of his fury as he sent attack after attack at the homunculus to drain their power. It blew her hair away from her face and the intensity of the heat almost made her turn away.
All Riza could do was stare. She felt numb.
He’s going to kill them. He’s giving into that hatred.
She had to do something. She had to move.
Struggling to her feet was a great effort. Riza felt herself stagger. She was almost knocked backwards by the force of Roy’s alchemy and her head was still spinning from the hit she’d sustained after being slammed into the ground.
After one last ferocious blast Envy’s body started to disintegrate. It crumbled into a charred mess, leaving a tiny green creature in its place. Their voice turned almost child-like as they cursed Roy, crawling away from their own remains with tears in their eyes.
Roy approached and lowered his foot harshly atop Envy’s body. They were squashed underneath his boot, almost crushed completely. Any slight increase in pressure and they’d be dead.
Like hell Riza would let Roy do that to them.
“So this is your true form then?” The growl in his voice almost made Riza sick.
Stop… This isn’t you, Roy… Stop it, please.
“You’re ugly.”
Envy whined, begging for Roy not to do it, just like Riza was in her mind.
“I don’t want to die!” Envy cried desperately, tiny limbs flailing frantically.
It was too much for her to take anymore. Catching herself on the wall, Riza shoved herself so she was standing.
“I’m not giving you a choice. Now burn in hell!”
His fingers snapped together. Riza lifted her weapon, cocking and pointing it at Roy’s head, as her heart broke clean in two.
“Roy!”
Her yell echoed around the tunnel, bouncing off the walls with such clarity even she didn’t expect it. In the lull of the explosions the world sounded eerily quiet. Roy’s quiet gasp filled it once he realised what she was doing. His body stilled, his foot easing slightly on Envy’s body underneath his boot.
“What do you think you’re doing?” His tone was harsh but genuine surprise had seeped into it as well.
“Stop this,” Riza commanded, putting as much authority into her voice as she possibly could. Her gun shook in her hand, the grip slacking. No. She couldn’t let herself slip now. Not after all they’d already been through with this discussion. She wouldn’t let him talk to her like that either. The grip on the gun tightened. “I’ll deal with Envy from here on out.”
“Riza. Lower your weapon,” he ordered with the same authority she’d heard him use with his team at work.
Riza was no soldier and had to follow no such order. She was his wife, she loved him, and she’d made a promise that she’d watch his back and watch out for him always. He’d asked her to do that and she wasn’t about to let him down.
If I lost myself to all of this… That’s not the husband or father I want to be. I don’t want to be a monster again.
I choose you. I choose all three of you. There’s no contest and never has been.
He’d picked his side, that night in the darkened bedroom, and she wasn’t going to let him back out now.
“No. Put your hand down, Roy.”
He scoffed. “I won’t ask you again!” He shouted, almost startling her. He’d never used that tone with her before, never been so angry towards her like this. It didn’t even sound like her husband. The barrel of the gun quivered.
There was the sound of a transmutation and the ground beneath his foot was alchemised, disrupting their conversation. It rose up sharply to throw Roy off balance and send Envy sailing through the air. They were both startled out of their argument by the sudden appearance of Edward Elric and Scar.
Edward plucked Envy out of the air effortlessly, gripping onto them tightly with a scowl on his face.
“Fullmetal.”
Riza’s head turned sharply back to face Roy, noting how much calmer he sounded. But it was all a ruse. He hadn’t changed one bit. The fists at Roy’s side began to shake with his fury. One of his arms extended outwards towards Edward.
“I’ll be taking that.”
Edward was surprised by the request, seemingly unsure for a second. He glanced over at Riza and she shook her head the tiniest fraction.
“That is an order. Give them to me, right now!”
“No, I won’t,” Edward refused and Riza felt herself relax the tiniest amount.
With a controlled movement, Roy’s arm lowered. Alchemic energy still sparked around his gloves, a sign that he hadn’t given up the transmutation yet. He still needed to decide where to direct it.
Not at Edward and Envy, Riza pleaded. She couldn’t take it if he did.
“Elric,” Roy growled. “That thing belongs to me.”
“No they don’t!”
“Give them to me! Or I’ll burn up your hand along with it!” Roy’s hand twisted, pointed towards Edward.
“Roy!” she scolded, outraged that he’d threaten such a thing, and to Edward of all people too.
He’s almost gone, Riza. Do something!
Edward wasn’t one to give in so easily either, though. He interrupted before Riza could recover from her burst of anger. “Try it then!” he goaded, daring him.
Roy fell silent as he and Edward glared at one another in a standoff.
“Think of our children, Roy,” she commanded, trying another way to get through to him. It had worked before so she hoped it would again. Although Riza tried to keep her voice strong, one mention of them almost broke her. Her voice cracked and she was almost pleading with him as she spoke his name. “Remember what you said to me when we discussed this before. Don’t give into this,” she begged. “Remember that you’re letting go for them, as well as yourself.”
“What would Mia ask you to do?” Edward’s voice rang out in the tunnel, adding onto her point.
Roy’s shoulders stiffened and she heard him inhale sharply. “Stay out of this, Fullmetal,” he warned harshly.
“What would Maes ask, huh?” Edward continued on as if he hadn’t heard Roy speak. “What would those kids say to finding out their father gave into anger and hate and killed this homunculus!” Edward was spitting angry, furious that Roy was even considering such an act, but was desperate to get through to him as well. Riza could see it in his eyes. There was fear in them too. “If it were me I certainly wouldn’t want to look at you again!” Edward yelled. “You look like a monster!”
“I know I have no right to tell you what to do, Mustang, but they are correct.” Scar’s deep and calm timbre rolled through the air, settling over Riza, and making her loose another breath from her lungs. Hope swelled within her that maybe the three of them would be able to get through to him together. “You’re a father and you need to set an example. Do not cause any more death than you already have. End this cycle of hatred,” Scar snarled, “do it now. Break the chain. Otherwise you’re no better than a beast and those that have come before you. And I shudder to think what kind of world you will create after you become its ruler with all of that hatred burning inside of you. I dread to think what kind of father you will be.”
Roy’s body stiffened.
“Roy.” She brought his attention back to her. “This is not who you are.” Her voice was controlled as she steadied her weapon. She knew the Roy she loved was still within him but was buried underneath the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within. He had to be. Riza wouldn’t accept anything otherwise. 
His shoulders tensed. “Riza… I did it,” he growled. “I finally ran them down and they’re right there. They attacked you –”
“I understand that,” she barked harshly. “I know you did, and I know what happened, but you’re about to do something you’ll regret here and I won’t let you. You’re better than this. I know you’re better. I know the man I love, and he’s not here right now.”
His shoulders jerked up towards his ears.
“This course of action benefits no one. All it will do is hurt the ones you love.” Riza took a deep breath. “This is pure hatred. And I will not let it take you. I already told you that. I already promised I wouldn’t let you do it!” Her cry rang out in the silent hallway.
He was struggling, teetering on the edge, but he was listening to her.
“Would you really shoot me with that gun, Riza?”
Her breath caught tightly in her throat, choking her. What… What was he asking her?
His tone changed completely, along with his body language. His shoulders relaxed and he let out a long breath. He sounded calmer, that edge to his voice gone. He almost sounded defeated.
He still didn't let go of the transmutation though.
“If you’re going to shoot me, shoot me.” 
It was just a threat, really. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to kill her husband if he actually went through with this. She was no soldier, had taken no human life, and Riza wasn’t sure if she was emotionally stable enough to hit her target regardless of that.
But would she be able to live on with him, knowing that he’d become the monster he didn’t want to be, but had sought out that path anyway?
“Maybe not,” she admitted quietly.
She’d only been able to target Envy because she knew they wouldn’t die. That first pull of the trigger though… It was jarring, horrifying. When she’d fired a gun before it had been for food, for survival. This fight was a way to try and keep her alive, but she gained nothing from each hit. Just the sickening realisation that she was harming another living thing and gaining nothing from it.
“Maybe I can’t pull that trigger on you.” Despite the turmoil rattling her bones her voice held steady. Sorrow bled into her tone, shoulders dipping as her resolve to point the weapon at him wavered. “I couldn’t do that to you. Couldn’t do that to our children either,” she added, bile rising at the thought of taking their father away from them, regardless of their current conversation.
Memories flashed inside her mind. Roy lifted Mia high in the air, spinning her round as she giggled with glee. Maes’ happy squeals filled the room as Roy blew raspberries on their little boy’s arms, tickling him. Hayate barked happily in their garden as she, Roy, and Mia chased each other in a game of tag on the grass. Little Maes clapped his hands happily as he watched, sitting on Chris’ lap.
Riza clenched her jaw to stave off the sudden tears and keep a hold on her emotions. She wanted that Roy back. She just wanted her husband back.
“But I’m doing what you asked me to do,” Riza replied with more confidence this time. “I’m watching your back. You told me you didn’t want to be a monster again. Don’t give into it. Mia wouldn’t want you too.” Her voice wavered. She cleared her throat to try and shift the lump in it, but it was futile. “Little Maes wouldn’t want you to either. Neither would Big Maes.”
Roy’s head jerked suddenly, no doubt remembering their conversation in the dark in their bed. He’d held her close that night. She remembered pressing a kiss against his throat, feeling his pulse thrum beneath her lips.
“I…” The words stuck in her throat, halting her. They needed to be said because they were true, no matter how much it hurt to think about. She needed to get through to him and the hope that she could was dwindling second by second. “I don’t think I will be able to live on with you if you do go down this path.”
Roy flinched violently.
“I can’t follow you down it. Our family can’t. And I refuse to leave our children behind.”
He let out a choked breath. Suddenly, Roy’s hand jerked out and with a yell, the fire torpedoed down an empty hallway, filling it with heat and his anguish.
He didn’t do it.
Riza had never felt such strong relief in her life. A choked breath left her lungs, stuttering as it passed by her lips. Her knees shook and her pistol trembled in her hand. She almost lost her grip on it.
“I… I can’t afford to lose you. Or them. This madness… Scolded by a child and a man who was once my enemy.”
Roy turned to face her and Riza felt hope blossom tentatively at the look in his eyes. All his hatred was gone. A deep exhaustion had settled over his bones and it showed clearly in his expression. The features of his face drooped, eyes filled with so much regret and agony that Riza almost lost her breath. He was broken, defeated by himself, but he was Roy.
“And you.”
Tears flooded his eyes. Roy’s touch was gentle when it rested upon her gun. His hands were bare, gloves gone. Riza was unsure when that had happened, but it didn’t matter. The fact remained that he’d unequipped his weapon and taken that step away from where he was threatening to fall over the edge.
Riza watched completely mute as they both lowered the gun to her side slowly.
“It almost cost me you. I forced you to go through all of this. I pushed you away. My love,” he breathed, so quietly only she would hear. “My children. I would have lost it all.” Roy cleared his throat, dropping his gaze in shame. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he whispered. “I did it again. I’m such a fool,” he cursed in disgust, dropping his gaze. He turned to the side as his knees shook. He fell to the ground, finally spent, with his face hidden by his hands.
Relief made her body shudder and tremble. The pistol grew slack in Riza’s hand and dropped to the floor without her realising it. She joined him, kneeling by his side. Pain shot into her kneecaps after she fell, hitting the ground hard enough to make her wince. Her old injury with her fight with Envy flared up but Riza paid it no mind. All of her attention was focussed on the side of her husband’s head. She stared, knowing she wouldn’t be able to discern anything from it, but still looked upon those dark strands as if they would give her all the answers she sought.
Tentatively, Riza reached out. Her hand hovered before the space in between his shoulder blades. It was an action she’d done numerous times when helping him through his low points. She wasn’t sure what his mental state was. She had no way of knowing until she took the first step and made contact. Her fingertips pressed down first, lightly, before the heel of her hand kissed against his back. She watched, saddened, as his shoulders bunched up further at his ears, head dipping down. He was hiding from her.
“Roy?” Her call was apprehensive. She just wanted him to turn and look at her, give her something to go on. But he didn’t.
Shifting on her knees, Riza angled herself around him so she was kneeling by his side. Her hand naturally moved to come to rest on his shoulder. She gave it a squeeze of comfort and encouragement.
“Roy, look at me,” she prompted gently.
Unable to bring himself to, his gaze remained on his feet which were crumpled underneath his body at odd angles.
“Roy.”
It was just enough coaxing. The hand that covered his eyes moved a fraction. His eyes were desolate once they made contact and barely visible as he peeked up at her through a gap, filled with shame and sorrow. 
“You didn’t do it,” she reminded him.
“I was close.” His voice was a whisper, only loud enough to reach her ears. “I - I saw you being hurt… And thought about what had happened to Hughes and –” His sigh made his whole body shudder. “I’m sorry,” he whispered in a hoarse voice.
Riza gathered him close, placing her cheek against the top of his head. Her arms wrapped around his shaking frame, bringing his face against her chest to hide him from the rest of them. Just for a moment, she wanted it to be just them, to have a tiny moment to themselves so she could get him back on his feet.
“You’re all right for now. You came back to me,” she whispered into his hair, focussing on that fact at the moment. The day was not over so everything else could be left until later when they were alone.
Slowly, hands lifted to her hips and held on. His fingers dug into her sides almost painfully. Then, the arms wrapped around, squeezing her against him. Her fingers ran through his hair as relief made them shake, thankful that for now, the worst of the confrontation was over.
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zombieratt · 4 years ago
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Alright so forewarning this is LONG as FUCK specifically because i came up with this idea in early high school and was just today POSESSEd By the Spirit Of Musical Theatre to put it to paper— er Tumblr.
So without further ado:
DEAR EVAN HANSEN BUT EVAN ISNT A TERRIBLE PERSON AND CONNOR LIVES.
the beginning is the same, canon diverges just after waving through a window.
*this ended up getting written is script format? i also just sorta ignore alana’s whole exsistance bc in this version of the play she’s unnecessary*
In the moments before he talks to Connor evan decides to omit Zoe from his letter, having resolved himself to move on from her. (instead of being a hella creep.)
Connor: “dear Evan Hansen,” what are you writing letters to yourself? *he laughs*
Evan: its, uh, its for my therapist. its just a stupid little assignment that she says is supposed to help me process my feelings or— uh or something
Connor: hm. here. * hands Evan the letter*
Connor: your cast. no one’s signed it.
Evan: uh no. no one has.
Connor: gotta sharpie?
Evan: huh?
Connor: gotta sharpie? im gonna sign it.
Evan: *handing the sharpie to Connor* w- whuh uh why?
Connor: *shrugs* feels right.
Evan: i wish i could do that
Connor: what?
Evan: UH, IMEAN—
Connor: no wait- dude.
Evan: i mean uh, i meant that i wish i could just be, y’know impulsive like that.
Connor: Why Cant you be?
Evan: i uh, my heads pretty messed up, and stuff like that just, makes it worse i guess.
Connor: well theres some thing we have in common— were both fucked up in the head.
*the bell rings*
Evan: oh shoot! i missed the bus—
Connor: i’ll give you a ride.
Evan: are you sure i mean i can walk its not far-
Connor: all the more reason, i probably have to pass it on my way home anyway, cmon.
——
they meet Zoe in the parking lot
Zoe: I have Late practice today
Connor: whatever, gotta passenger.
Zoe: who the fuck would be crazy enough to trust your ability to drive?
Evan *being Brave*: Me Apparently?
Zoe: Uh, Evan Right?
Evan: yeah, uh, yeah.
Zoe *holding her hand out to be shaken*: i’m Zoe, we’ve met though right?
Evan wipes his hand on his shirt and shakes it: yeah, uh, nice to formally meet you, Zoe.
Zoe: i’m off, don’t kill him stoner.
Connor: i wont Princess
Evan breathing heavy: that was,, an eventful ten minutes.
Connor: oh fuck— you cool? or—
Evan: Panic Attack.
Connor: Right, uh
Connor: can you get in the car?
Evan: yeah
*car nonsense*
Connor: Can i start driving or do you want me to wait
Evan: Distractions are good,, Can Uh, Can you Talk about Stuff?
Connor: What stuff!??
Evan: any Stuff!
Connor: Is Zoe okay??
Evan: Sure?!
Connor: Uhh we don’t get along as well as we used to?
we were really close as kids, shes a huge asshole now but *fully venting now*
i kind of miss it you know? having someone to talk to and care about— and i still care about her— but its scary and i always fuck it up! not to mention the fact that our parents hate me— make her see me as some alien and not just a fucked up kid who wants to talk and — (more ranting that i dont feel like writing, but its a whole monologue bro)
Evan: Connor
Connor snaps his mouf shut: yeah
Evan: thanks
Connor: oh that, uh actually helped?
Evan: yeah focusing on your voice and whats real and stuff— it makes a difference.
Neither of them noticed that Connor was just sort of Driving. they end up at the park where in canon Connor commits Sewer-slide.
Evan: i didn’t know there was a park here.
Connor: huh, oh, yeah i guess i just sorta auto piloted, i come here to think.
Evan: About stuff?
Connor: Yeah, Stuff.
*the convo lulls*
Connor: do you have a laptop?
Evan: no, i uh, i left it at home? why?
Connor: give me a second
Connor walks to the car and grabs his back pack out of the back seat
Evan watches Quizzically from the swing-set
Connor pulls out a Sketch Pad and Pen, flipping to a clean page.
Connor: So tell me how to write one of those letters of yours.
Evan: uh, well you start like any other letter- just addressing it to yourself
Connor writing: Dear Connor Murphy,
Evan: and uh, my first one was supposed to be about my ideal summer vacation? since i started in middle school- but you don’t have to—
Connor: thats perfect.
Connor starts to sing for forever,
eventually Evan joins in there is a minor gay moment where they’re holding hands face to face.
the song ends with Connor hugging Evan.
Evan: its- its pretty late.
Connor obviously crying: just— just a couple more minutes.
Evan lets go and grabs Connors sketch book of the ground, closing it and handing it off to him: then how about this, labor day weekend- we actually go.
Connor: what are you talking about?
Evan: being spontaneous?
Connor: o-okay.
and it cuts to black.
theres a small montage here, as the set changes to Connor and Evans bedrooms
sincerely, me is a lament in this context, Connor and Evan are duetting from their respective rooms, writing to themselves.
(the lyrics are completely different and i will not be writing them here because thats too much fucking effort.
but they’re duetting from their bedrooms about making a connection to another person, feeling seen, for the first time. what it felt like and how they really want to keep it up but are afraid of making a mistake and ruining it.
its got some themes of waving thru a window, and a little bit of for forever, but its still largely the same notes just in a different key.)
after wards, Zoe knocks on Connors door to tell him dinner is ready to find him peacefully asleep.
requiem is the same, Zoe sees Connor as Dead to Her instead of actually dead, so some of the wording changes, so and so about how a monster doesn’t deserve peaceful rest etcetera.
school day happens, Connor doesn’t die, but the hot goss is that everyone saw Connor and Evan go home together after school, jared makes a shitty homophobic joke to Evan and Evan kind of tells him off about it. they argue and it culminates in Evan saying “well god forbid I’m friends with someone who isn’t YOU!” or smth like tht and it hits jared right the fuck at home man.
Connor says from the side lines: damn that was pretty hard core dude.
Evan: you have, no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that.
Connor honest to god l a u g h s, theres a number of people who hear it and lose their shit, Zoe being one of them: i have a pretty good idea, wanna get some lunch?
Evan: yeah, sure.
this general routine continues until labor day weekend, when they plan to go on their little escape. theres a short scene of Connor leaving the house with his keys and a backpack.
Connors mom confronts Zoe about his oddly upbeat attitude and hows he’s seemed differently lately Zoe Shrugs but decides to investigate his room.
she finds the letters. the first one is for forever, the theme plays as she reads it frantically, and is signed “Sincerely me (connor murphy)” so she knows its him, i f i could tell her begins but its a real duet between Connor and Zoe and at the end she resolves to try harder to connect to him.
Evan sings disappear to Connor after breaking into a formerly public park, in this context its him confessing that he broke his arm attempting su!c!de. Connor records it, for personal reference.
jared hacks Connors phone and steals the video, posting it to yt, in an effort to ruin their friendship.
Evan and Connor get in a little fight about it, and in the meantime Evan is called to the school to give an assembly because hes a phenomenal speaker and Disappear got like 1000000 views over night.
Zoe and Connor bond a little bit in a short scene before the assembly
Zoe: wheres Evan what happened?
Connor: Kleinman Did!
Zoe: what?
Connor: Why Do you care?
Zoe: because! you look happy around him!
Connor: i, i do?
Zoe: yeah? he could tell the worst joke ever written and you’d crack up. i haven’t heard you laugh like that in years Connor, maybe ever.
Connor: oh.
Zoe: Come back inside?
Connor: y, Yeah.
they all perform You Will Be Found together.
end act 1.
(no more dialogue from here i got tired)
to break in a glove is Connor’s dad trying to reconnect with him, it goes mediocrely, but Connor feels like hes being seen by his dad for the first time in years. its said in metaphors, but this is Connors dads way of saying that if Connor is willing to put in the work, so is he. they hug at the end, things are looking up. some talk of therapy is sprinkiled in the dialogue as they walk of stage together.
Only Us is Evan and Connor saying that they saved each other. its loosely romantic, as its a love song, but they don’t out right say that they’re in love or anything, they don’t know if theyre ready for that. its a promise. the song ends with Connor finally apologizing for pushing Evan over at the beginning of the show.
good for you is sung by jared only, as a power ballad, about losing people you didn’t treasure. its his attempt at an apology, but it ultimately fails, since jared is unable to take responsibility for his own actions. this is where jared and Evan go their separate ways.
Evan’s mom comforts him, as he sings words fail, which is about specifically jared, and how their rocky friendship is ruined and Evan pegs himself as the cause, instead of parents or perfect girl he uses metaphors that apply to best friends— maybe more. and talks about how he didn’t try, he was happy so he ignored that jared was hurting, and how that was really shitty of him. but instead of it being a generally somber song the end is lighter, because Connor is there— waving through his front window.
Evans mom sings So Big/So Small as Evan steps out the front door to embrace Connor and they mime talking about jared, hug and take hands. the house moves off stage in preparation for the finale.
Connor and Evan open the finale saying each others names, and sing it together as the test of the cast (minus jared) joins in, Evans mom taking his hand and Zoe Taking Connors, Evans mom the Murphys and Zoe break off to the back where Evan and Connor finish the final “all i see is sky for forever” while looking into each others eyes, and finish the musical by embracing (maybe kissing if thats ur jam).
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walviemort · 5 years ago
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hidden blessing (1/?)
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Summary: Killian thought the only thing he was left with after Milah's death was a broken heart and a thirst for vengeance. It's not until he gets to Storybrooke, after so many years spent in stasis, that he discovers something else: he's carrying her child. How does this new, tiny blessing change his path? (Canon-divergent from 2x12.) 
rated T | AO3 | 2.7k
A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, @sherlockianwhovian​!!!! Here it is: that random idea I sent to you a few months ago and we had a crazy conversation about. I’ve been picking at it here and there ever since and today seemed like a good day to start posting. I hope you have a beautiful day, darling, even with all the craziness in the world! (General note: this will mostly follow canon, but may jump around a bit. And will be updated whenever I get to it, lol.)
With the heaviest of hearts, Killian watched as the body of his darling lover—and part of his soul—dropped to the depths of the sea. A significant part of him wanted to join her, but he knew that’d be a disservice to her memory. 
So instead, he led his crew to Neverland to bide their time until he could find a way to destroy his crocodile. Aside from a handful of ventures into the Enchanted Forest and other realms, they spent close to a century in the ageless realm. 
When they finally left Neverland for good, it was only a couple of weeks until he was again put in stasis by the Dark Curse. Once time unfroze, he got anxious as the months ticked by and they couldn’t leave, but Cora assured him—“Time still hasn’t started to move here, not really; we’re just not frozen in place. You’ll still have your pretty face once the curse breaks.”
And when it did, everything seemed to run faster. Was it really only a matter of days from the time the curse broke, to meeting Swan, to their adventure (and her subsequent betrayal) on the beanstalk, to fighting at Lake Nostos, to landing in Storybrooke? No wonder he was nauseous once they’d docked in the sleepy town. 
He figured a night of rest would send that away, but it lingered in the following days, even while enacting Cora’s plan and finally, finally starting to seek his revenge. Though the rounds of abuse suffered at the hands of the Dark One and his librarian lover certainly didn’t help. 
He got the last laugh, though, with his pistol. Watching the Crocodile’s panic at the realization his love didn’t know him filled him with glee—even if he was in pain a minute later after being thrown by the heavy metal coach. 
So it wasn’t much surprise when, hours later as he woke in the infirmary, everything hurt, including his stomach. 
“Good morning, Hook,” a man said a bit later. “I’m the doctor looking after you; name’s Whale. You took quite a hit there.”
The blonde man looked as haggard as he felt; Killian recognized a hangover when he saw one. But he only eyed the man warily and let him continue. 
“Nothing too serious happened, and you’re lucky. Ribs heal, but we’ll have to be careful not to do anything to hurt the baby.”
Killian blinked. Baby? What? He wasn’t expecting. “Beg your pardon, mate?” he asked, voice a bit rough with disuse. “What baby?”
Whale seemed surprised. “Your baby; the one you’re pregnant with right now. You didn’t know?”
Cold fear washed over Killian; he couldn’t be, could he? “Is this some kind of joke?” he bit out angrily. 
“It’s not; we checked your blood before giving you any pain medication. You know you’re capable of carrying children, right?”
“Aye,” he confirmed; all men in his family had a womb, so he knew it was possible. “But I haven’t lain with anyone in at least a century.” Not since his last night with Milah—though, as he recalled vividly, the situation was right for him to conceive. 
The doctor thought about it for a moment, then asked, “If it’s been that long, then how are you still here as a healthy young man?”
“I’ve been in Neverland; time doesn’t move there,” he explained. “As well as a handful of other situations that left me in stasis.”
“Well, that’s it, then,” the doctor said. “If your body wasn’t aging, neither was the fetus. But now that you’re here, that kid is finally getting the chance to grow.” 
The man continued to drone on about the biology behind everything, but the only thing Killian could focus on anymore was the fact that he was pregnant—with Milah’s child. A child she’d never know. Yet another thing the Crocodile had taken from them. 
Anger threatened to wash over him again, but then a quick wave of nausea brought him back down and found him instead staring at his midsection. He tried to place his hand on it, but found it was cuffed to the side of the bed. So instead, he put his bare stump over it, a rush of paternal feelings rising within. 
He wasn’t sure how his blood had confirmed it, but once he’d heard the words, something just clicked and he knew it to be true. He was going to be a father. And suddenly, he didn’t want anything else.
“Hook, did you hear any of that?”
Killian blinked and looked back up at the doctor. “Afraid not.”
Whale sighed. “Okay, I’ll say the important parts again: we want to do an exam to make sure everything is okay with your baby, given the number of hits you’ve taken over the last few days. Does that sound alright?”
“I suppose so, yes.” If anything, he was curious about this realm’s medicine and how it worked. But if it enabled him to ensure the well being of his child, then he’d do it without hesitation; he’d likely done enough to risk their health. 
“Alright; I’m headed into surgery, but someone from the OB-GYN will be around later. Rest up until then.”
He didn’t know what those letters meant, but nodded his assent and the doctor left. Which meant he was alone—but not really, apparently. 
He glanced back down at his still-flat stomach. At first, he was filled with shame at not knowing that new life was growing within him; goodness, the things he’d done in the past decades. Hell, the past month. He’d have to curb that immediately, assuming he hadn’t done any damage already.
Gods, he couldn’t live with himself if he had. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. Though he was sure the babe couldn’t hear him, it helped to say it out loud. “If I had known, I would have been so much more careful. But from now on, I promise to do whatever I can to keep you safe. Always.”
His mind grew fuzzy not long after and he drifted off; it was no surprise that he dreamed of holding a small child in his arms. They had bright blue eyes and curly hair that seemed to change color on a whim, from black to red to blonde. They were darling and precious and he couldn’t wait to meet them.
Until something pulled him from his dreams, and he was suddenly aware of another presence in the room. He blinked, winced at the various maladies all over his body, and was finally able to focus; Emma was sitting on the edge of his bed.
Emma; he’d forgotten about her for a bit there. (Understandably.) She looked pissed, which didn’t surprise him, but just as fierce as ever. Something stirred somewhere else—thankfully not his stomach, for once—and the attraction to her that he didn’t fully understand came back. He was torn between wanting to bed her and fight her. (Maybe both?)
She set the tone immediately, though. “Where's Cora?” she asked sternly.
He tried to sit up, preferring to have a confrontation at the same eye level, but first the cuff stopped him, and then his sore ribs did. “Damn, that hurts,” he hissed.
Emma stood and hovered over him. “Told you. You cracked a few ribs. Where's Cora?”
She was all business, but she was no match for his well-honed deflection skills—or flirtatious front. “You look good, I must say, all "Where's Cora?" in a commanding voice. Chills,” he added salaciously. It was fun to get a rise from her.
She just raised her eyebrow, unamused. “You have all sorts of sore places I can make you hurt.” without warning, she lunged forward, aiming for his ribs; instinctively, he brought up his left arm to protect both them and his baby. She didn’t connect, but clearly wasn’t afraid of using physical torture methods; in that instant, he knew—he wasn’t about to tell her, or anyone else, about the baby just yet; not if they could use it against him.
She pulled back and he relaxed, but the ache was renewed. Sighing, he told her, “I've no idea where Cora is. She has her own agenda.” And it was true; he hadn’t seen the witch since she placed the cloaking spell on his ship. “Let's talk about something I am interested in: my hook.” He felt slightly naked without his prosthesis. “May I have it back? Or is there another...attachment you'd prefer,” he tossed back, eyes glancing down his body. If he couldn’t physically defend himself, he could at least annoy her until she left. (Though he wouldn’t complain if she took him up on the offer.)
Emma rolled her eyes, of course. “You're awfully chipper for a guy who just failed to kill his enemy, then got hit by a car.”
“Well, my ribs may be broken, but everything else is still intact, which is more than can be said for all the other bad days I've had,” he said, gesturing with his stump. “Plus I did some quality damage to my foe.” 
“You hurt Belle.”
“I hurt his heart. Belle is just where he keeps it. He killed my love. I know the feeling.” Even further reason to keep his child far away from anyone who could hurt them.
Emma gave him a wry, insincere grin, and bent over him to come closer. “Keep smiling, buddy. He's on his feet, immortal, has magic, and you hurt his girl. If I had to pick dead guy of the year, I'd pick you.” And without another word, she turned and left.
He sighed and gently placed his stump back over his stomach; he hadn’t wanted to do that in front of Emma, lest it give her any ideas—male pregnancy was rare, but not unheard of, and he didn’t know how much she knew of the magical realms yet. But the encounter proved one thing: the number of people he could trust in this town was small, possibly nonexistent. 
And only reinforced that his child wouldn’t truly be safe until Rumplestiltskin was out of the picture completely.
Gods, he’d only known about the babe for a matter of hours and already had recentered his life around him or her. It wasn’t the first time he’d done that, of course, but still—it took him by surprise.
He dozed off again for an unknown period of time until a soft knocking woke him. “Oh, sorry; didn’t know you were asleep,” a timid-looking man said. He had white hair and glasses and was of short stature, looking altogether unthreatening—but the machinery he pushed on a small cart was completely foreign to Killian. “I’m Doc, the obstetrician.”
“The what?” was all Killian could say.
“I’m here to check on the baby.”
“Oh!” Killian exclaimed, and tried again to sit up, only to fail again.
“Here; let me.” The doctor rushed to the side of Killian’s bed and pressed something, making the top half of the bed lift as if by magic. 
“How did you do that?” Killian asked, trying to peer over the rail without causing further injury.
“It’s all mechanical; I can show you later. But first: can you tell me when you think you conceived?”
“Um, about 130 years ago, if my arithmetic is correct.”
The doctor dropped his pen as soon as he’d picked it up. “Beg your pardon?”
Killian explained again his history with Neverland, and Doc was well aware of the magical happenings since then, having been equally cursed. Killian also told him what he knew about his ability to carry children, though it wasn’t much, seeing as his father refused to and his brother never got the chance. “All I know is the woman has to be on top,” he summarized.
“Got it,” Doc answered, though clearly embarrassed a bit. “Well, given that this is as new to me as it is to you, I’m going to have to do some poking around in some...personal places. Is that alright?”
“Don’t have much choice, do I?”
“No, sorry; but I’ll be gentle.”
The doctor was true to his word, carefully examining Killian’s stomach and private areas and proclaiming that everything appeared to look good.
But then he picked up a wand-like device that appeared to be attached to the machine he’d brought with him, and started fiddling with the contraption. “What’s that?” Killian had to ask.
The doctor was blushing; this couldn’t be good. “Well, uh,” he stammered, clearly not sure how to explain it; Killian subconsciously wrapped his arm around his stomach a bit tighter. “It’s a machine that lets us see inside the womb; there are a couple different kinds here, but this one is a little more...invasive.”
The fact that such a device existed was incredible to Killian, but he quickly put two and two together. “Does that...thing...go inside me?”
“I’m afraid it does.”
“Bloody hell. Is it necessary?”
“Given what you’ve gone through, and that we’re not really sure how far along you are, it is.”
Killian sighed dramatically, but he could tell it was important. “Go ahead.”
While he knew worse lay ahead, he sincerely hoped to not have to go through anything so awkward as that examination. “Just look at the screen,” Doc said, trying to keep him calm; but the space on the machine only showed nondescript black and gray blurs at first. The feeling of the device within him was not pleasant, either, but finally, Doc proclaimed “Ah! There it is! Hear that?”
The oddest noise filled the room from the machine; Killian had no description for it. “What is that?”
“That’s your baby’s heartbeat, and look—there it is on the screen.”
It didn’t look like much, but Killian had to admit—there was something vaguely humanoid about the blob-like images on the screen.
“That’s the head, and the spine, and there’s the legs.”
Killian had to tilt his head to make sense of it, but it started to take shape. “Does it not have arms?”
Doc chuckled. “It does; we just can’t see them right now. Based on that image, I’d put you at about 11 weeks along.”
“You can tell from that? And what does that even mean?” He’d never heard of measuring pregnancy like that; he knew it took a certain number of months, but most people just estimated. The fact that they could narrow it down so much was astonishing—and made him realize how little he knew about what was to come.
Thankfully, Doc explained everything as he removed the device and cleaned up, and they were able to estimate a due date; he also recommended coming in regularly for appointments to track the progress of the child’s growth, which Killian wasn’t sure would be necessary, but he agreed in order to placate the doctor. 
The machine made some more weird noises and spat something out, which Doc took and handed to Killian. “Here; you can keep that.” It was the picture from the screen; goodness, this realm was proving to be a technological marvel. He wanted to take it but, again—handcuffs. “Oh, I’ll put it on the table then,” Doc said, and started to, but Killian couldn’t risk anyone seeing it.
“No, don’t—if you know where my coat ended up, can you put it in there? I...I don’t want anyone knowing just yet.”
“I understand,” Doc answered with a small smile. “It’s in the closet over here.”
As he put it away, Killian added, “I can trust your discretion, yes?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Thank you.”
Doc finished gathering his things and headed towards the door. “Oh, and Captain—one more thing.”
“Yes?”
“Congratulations.”
Killian tried, but couldn’t hide his smile. “Thank you.”
He was going to be a father—a father to a child that was, by some miracle, the product of he and the woman he’d loved above all else. He didn’t consider himself a lucky man, but thanked the gods that they’d seen fit to bless him just this once. 
And he fell asleep once more, knowing that—for the first time in so many years—he had something worth living for other than his revenge.
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thanks for reading! and be sure to send some birthday love to Leanne! tagging a few others: @cocohook38​ @ashley-knightingale​ @jennjenn615​ @wyntereyez​​ @superadam54​
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tclcpathy · 5 years ago
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we need to talk about Dark Phoenix
This is going to be a VERY long post alert. And I also want to preface this by saying that this is just my analysis for my interpretation of Charles. If anyone else in the Charles squad wants to add or debate anything said in this post, feel free to message me! I would love to talk character meta and see what makes each of our interpretations unique and special!
So. Where to start with the clusterfuck of a movie that is Dark Phoenix? I mean, I had seen the dark phoenix plot play out in the old gen movies, so I thought I had a bit of an idea what they were going for, but BOY OH BOY was I wrong. Movie criticisms aside (though I thought it was actually a pretty enjoyable film all things considered, setting aside that atrocious scene where Jean puppets Charles up the stairs I mean COME ON), this movie gave me A LOT to think about in terms of character analysis for my boy. In part, I am really making this long ass unnecessary post just to get my thoughts down about how to even portray Charles moving into the future.
I have always been a very unwavering member of team Charles in the messy Charles-Erik divorce saga. I have made other posts about Charles major character flaw, but by in large Charles main motivations were for the good of human and mutant kind alike. And on a gross scale this still holds true in light of XMDP. But things got COMPLICATED man. This film threw Charles in a new light. We already knew that Charles had been altering Jeans mind in XM Last Stand, but he still more or less came out to be the good guy put up to the impossible task of trying to rein in the destructive force of the dark phoenix. He was, in essence, tasked with trying to put the ocean in a box. He may have gone about it in an ethically grey (pun intended) way, but he still came out to be a good guy with honest intentions of trying to help Jean, and even trying to protect the world FROM Jean.
But man, oh MAN does Charles look to be the main villain in XMDP. When I was watching, I was disgusted with his actions, and rightfully so. The film does a good job painting him as despicable, at least for the majority of the film. The main difference plot-wise between Last Stand and Dark Phoenix is that in XMDP, Charles alters Jeans memories BEFORE she is venom’ed by the spooky dark phoenix energy. In last stand, Charles always knew that Jean was capable of darkness, like an alter ego vying for control that he had to fight against. In XMDP, yes, Jean is still the most powerful mutant, like, EVER (get rekt en sabah nur), but she doesn’t adopt the dark phoenix personality (if you can call wanting to boink her boyfriend a ‘personality change’) until she is inhabited by the space junk. The chronic tension before the events of XMDP isn’t Jean struggling with a dark alter ego, but merely just trying to come to terms with the shear amount of power she has. She can’t control her powers because they are simply too strong to be contained.
So that begs the question… how does altering her memories and LYING to Jean help her with the chronic tension of the movie? How does altering the memory of her parents help her control her powers? Well, it doesn’t really. And this is where we diverge. This is why Charles in Last Stand comes off much cleaner than in XMDP.
So, we have to address the question, why the hell did Charles do it then? In essence, Charles doesn’t alert her memories to HELP Jean necessarily. I mean you could make the weak argument that Charles did it to protect Jean from the guilt of knowing she killed her mother, and that her father wants nothing to do with her, but even the film seems to think that this is a weak answer at best. For that matter, why does Charles not alter the memory of every child at the school with a hard to swallow past? How can he preach accepting the past to make you stronger when he turns around and makes Jean forget hers just so she doesn’t have to feel sad about her parents?
This is where it gets complicated. We all know that Charles puts everything with a pulse in the dad zone. Raven, Scott, this blue kid with a tail, this guy with memory problems who is hundreds of years older than Charles, yeah sure, throw them in the mix. But none fill the family sized hole in Charles’ life better than Jean. Charles sees so much of himself in Jean that he cannot separate himself from her identity. To Charles, Jean is not necessarily her own person, but an extension of his own consciousness, of how he relates to himself and his past (sounding familiar?? Perhaps reminding you of a whole movie devoted to Charles realizing that his surrogate sister is her own damn person??). When Charles meets Jean, he doesn’t see a girl who needs to overcome her past and accept what she is capable of for better or worse. More than anything, Charles sees the opportunity to give this struggling, lonely child what he wished he had. He puts himself into the role of father, caregiver, sole confidant. He attempts to erase her traumatic childhood and set her on a different path, the path that he thinks is best for her because it is what would have been best for him.
Again, we see Charles exhibit his fatal flaw. For someone with access to every person’s perspective, he cannot see past his own damn ego. Charles sees the people in his life, Erik, Raven, Jean, as players that he can control. And Charles is stubborn with a capital S. He is an unwinning combination: he has the perspective of someone who is extremely privileged with the notion that he genuinely knows exactly what everyone is going through. That he has observed everyone’s truth exactly as it is without his own privileged filter.
This is what kills Raven (other than Jennifer Lawrence’s absolute disdain for the series). Charles will not listen to anyone, convinced that he is a good person, and that he ultimately does what is best for those around him. When Raven brings her concerns to him, he dismisses her time and time again. And when Raven dies and Hank confronts him, he is STILL convinced that he did what is best for Jean, despite the obvious truth that he was WRONG. Full stop. If Jean had been allowed to process her past with her powers, she could have been able to have some element of control over her powers even after she is inhabited by the dark phoenix juice. He simply cannot believe that his actions set in motion the events that kill his sister. And so he comes across as extremely disingenuous and ignorant, like a child thinking pulling a rug over the broken lamp will make it go away. In short, he looks like a big bald idiot.
And I’m not convinced Charles has really learned his lesson. To be honest, I don’t remember exactly what changed Charles’ mind other than Erik deciding he’s going to ��86 Jean. And Erik calls Charles on it (it is always a treat when Erik bitchslaps Charles with reality). Until Charles realizes that the people in his life are their own people, he will never understand. And all of his pontification will fall on empty ears.
I’m not even going to get into Charles clout chasing and basically being an attention whore for the American government, because I do think this comes from a genuine place of wanting mutants to be seen as saviors instead of threats. It does humanize Charles to some degree; we are all victim to loosing our heads when it comes to fame and attention yadda yadda etc.
So, where to go from here? Well, Charles basically has a lot of ‘splaining to do when it comes to his future in the XMCU. I’m rejecting canon that he retires from the school, despite how cute his little chess match with Erik is. This seems like a cop out, dismissing Charles from the main x men plot lines instead of dealing with his ongoing character development. And understandably so, no one wants another movie devoted to Charles learning how to not be a dickbag. Well, except me I guess.
Here’s how I see his development going forward: we all know Charles has a lot to make up for. Step one is swallowing his damn ego and seeing the world from a different viewpoint. Charles has to rebuild the trust placed in him by Hank, Jean, his whole damn school, in essence his family. Charles is no longer the infallible patriarch, the almighty, almost deification of a father figure. This façade has been ripped away, and he must learn to accept this new way of perceiving himself in the world.
OKAY well that’s all I have to say for now. If you actually managed to read all of this, holy shit why but also thank you and I hope it made one iota of sense. Feel free to message me and talk more about it, because I don’t think my thoughts on the matter are fully realized and I would love to further develop the subject. Until then lovlies!
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argylemnwrites · 5 years ago
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It Couldn’t Wait Another Moment - Chapter 13
Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)
Book: The Royal Romance (Canon Divergent from Book 2, Chapter 15)
Word Count: ~4800
Rating: R (adult language - like too many f-bombs to count, here)
Summary: Drake tries to process his most recent decisions in regards to Liam and Riley, but some of the palace guests and residents make that difficult.
Author’s Note: So, yeah. I’m back at this story. I never intended to take so long between chapters, but this content here is basically the reason I didn’t just write Chapter 1 as a one shot, but instead turned it into an actual fic. Well, it turns out getting this all out of my head and into words was a real struggle. I could keep playing around and tweaking this indefinitely, but y’all have been patient enough, so without further ado, let’s get back into things here. We last left Riley leaving Cordonia to return to NYC while Drake stayed for Liam. Meanwhile, Olivia had just discovered that her aunt was involved in the recent attacks. This picks up that same afternoon.
This series diverges from TRR canon, where instead of waiting to discuss his relationship with Riley until their last night in NYC, leaving her a note while Liam is proposing to her, Drake tackles this topic as soon as possible after Tariq makes his statement and Riley’s name is cleared. To catch up on this series, you can find the previous chapters in my masterlist (link is located in my bio).
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The Cordonian royal palace had a total of six different lounges, but only one of them was truly a private lounge, tucked away in a back corridor of the royal family’s residential wing. It had been the location of many nights of drinks and cards over the years. The group in attendance had varied, starting with Leo and Bertrand years and years ago. Tariq and Rashad both would drop in if they were in the capital. And more recently, Maxwell had hustled Drake out of more money than he cared to admit over hands of poker. But really, the only constants at these private card games had been Liam and Drake himself. It was strange to sit there now, alone in the middle of the afternoon. But Drake had wanted a drink and a smoke, and it was the only place in the palace where he would find both whiskey and an ashtray and be likely to be left alone.
Drake didn’t know how he felt, exactly. Not that he was ever great at putting his feelings into words, but today was even harder than usual. He didn’t really feel sad. More empty. Hollow.
He took the last drag from his cigarette as he kept rooting through the bar until he found the bottle of Yamazaki 18 tucked behind several other bottles of scotch and whiskey. If there was ever a day that warranted the good stuff, today was that day. Drake poured himself a double on the rocks before carrying his glass and the ashtray over to one of the armchairs by the fireplace. He knew he was wallowing, but he figured he’d earned it. Today just plain sucked.
The drive back from the airport had felt kind of covered in this sort of surreal haze. Had he really just let her get on a plane and leave? But what else could he have done? He had to stay. For Liam. And he couldn’t ask her just to hang around while he dealt with all that. It wasn’t fair to her. She, unlike him, actually had a life in New York. Asking her to abandon all of that just to sit around as some sort of fucking emotional comfort for him was selfish.
And truth be told, her being around would probably be counterproductive. It seemed like the three of them being in the same room was just a recipe for awkwardness. If Drake was actually going to be there for Liam, Riley’s presence would not make things easier. Even though Liam would never say anything, it was clear to anyone with half a brain that seeing him and Riley together was just adding stress. That he wasn’t coping with their relationship as much as he wanted to project that he was. And Drake certainly wasn’t going to stick around just to throw his happiness in Liam’s face. That was the opposite of his goal.
Still, watching her walk away from him at the airport had torn something deep inside him. It felt wrong, and he missed her already. God, he was a pathetic mess. He took a sip of his whiskey before lighting up another cigarette, but was interrupted by the sound of the door creaking open.
It was Leo. Of course he would be the only other person at the palace looking for a stiff drink well before cocktail hour. He strolled in, whistling to himself until he caught sight of Drake, his eyebrows shooting up comically.
“Hey, what are you still doing here? I thought your flight was today.” he asked after a moment, continuing over to the bar and grabbing the bottle of whiskey Drake had left out.
“Yeah, well… I decided to stick around for a while.”
Leo looked up from the bar, seeming to stare at Drake with those words. “You’re here by yourself?”
Drake swallowed roughly, tapping his cigarette against the ashtray’s edge. “Yeah, Liu flew out.”
The only sound was that of a glass being set on the bar and the splash of liquid as Leo poured himself a couple fingers of the whiskey. He took a sip of his drink before he stepped around the bar, raising his glass toward Drake is if in a toast. “I can’t say I’m not a little relieved.”
Drake took a drag off his cigarette, trying to gauge how pissed that should be making him. Leo didn’t always think things through fully, so he probably didn’t mean much by his statement. Still, for him to be the one to give him shit about sticking around? Well, it was pretty damn annoying.
After another sip of his drink, Leo chuckled as he continued, “I thought I was going to have to fly out and track you down again for a moment, there.”
Okay, maybe Leo did mean something. Drake bit his lip, trying to control his temper. He knew he was already on edge, and at the end of the day, Leo really wasn’t worth it. But his patience was tested as Leo continued, “I mean, I get it, the whole ‘following some girl halfway across the world’ thing, but I’m glad you finally came to your senses.”
“My senses?”
“Well, yeah. I know, chasing skirts is fun and all, but at the end of the day, you gotta admit that you belong here, right?”
Drake swallowed, trying to find his words before he spoke. He was trying to control his temper, he really was. But today had sucked enough without having to listen to Leo spout this bullshit.
“I mean, you did have me worried for a minute there. That pussy must be truly spectacular for both you and him to lose your minds over it.”
Drake heard a loud rushing in his ears and realized he as out of his chair and striding over to Leo before he could even think about what he was doing. Leo’s eyes widened and he maneuvered himself behind the bar, the fear evident in his eyes.
“Relax, man. I didn’t mean anything, really. I’m sure she’s a great woman. All I was trying to say is that I’m glad you’ll be here for him.”
“Right, because otherwise you might have to act like his actual brother, not just some drinking buddy.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Come on, Leo. You’re not gonna stand there and act like you’ve been the brother he deserves, are you?”
Leo scowled, taking a long drink from his glass before he responded, “Just add it to the list. One more way that Leo is a fuckup who could never measure up to his perfect, saintly little brother.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Drake groaned, rolling his eyes. “Nothing you can say will ever make me feel sorry for your irresponsible, hypocritical, entitled ass.”
“You have no idea what the pressure is like! You have never had to carry that weight, knowing you would never be able to-”
“I’m not talking about your abdication, Leo!” Drake yelled, smacking his hand down against the top of the bar. “That’s a whole other thing, and I don’t really want to get into right now. I’m talking about the fact that you have been a shitty brother to him since day one. And guess who always had to be there to pick up the slack?”
“Ah, yes. Drake Walker - a modern-day martyr. Your life has been sooo difficult, what with the living rent-free at a palace, drinking top shelf whiskey, going horseback riding on private trails whenever you wanted. Tell me again of the great woes and tribulations that were thrust upon you because of your burdensome friendship with His Majesty. I know he asked so much of you.”
“Classic Leo, deflect away any real criticism. Nothing is ever your fault, is it? Your father expected too much. The world just didn’t understand you. You weren’t cut out for this life. It’s your own fucking greatest hits album, and I’m so goddamn sick of it. But you know what? Play the fucking victim. Tell me again how fucking hard your privileged little life is. I honestly don’t give a shit. But I’m not gonna stand here and listen to your bullshit tales of how I was somehow the one who mistreated Liam.”
“Let’s see - you fucked the woman he loved and left him alone while terrorists tried to kill him. Am I leaving out any other recent developments?”
“Are we just gonna pretend that the first 28 years of his life didn’t happen? Because last time I checked, you haven’t exactly been some beacon of brotherly support. And rich of you to give me shit for choosing one woman to be with when your whole life has been nothing but a string of girls you claimed were different that all the ones who came before. First there was Charlize, then Fiona, or did Katrina come before her? Then Gigi, and that redhead whose name I never did find out, then-”
“Liam wasn’t in love with any of them. Besides, it’s not like you were some celibate monk all those years.”
“Yet someone I was able to find a way to sleep with women and be there for Liam. You on the other hand, were always just a bit too busy to find time to call and check in.”
“I love my brother, and I tried to be there for him. I’m sorry if my best isn’t up to the impeccable Walker standards,” Leo sneered, finishing his drink and slamming his glass down on the bar.
“You tried? Really? Leo, you took a fucking private jet and dragged me away from my life because you couldn’t handle his actual emotions! Then you dumped the crown on him without a backwards glance! I was always the one who had to clean up the mess!”
Leo opened his mouth, undoubtedly ready to defend himself, but the door to the lounge swung open, stopping the two men in their tracks. There was Liam, a scowl etched across his face, “I thought it might be best to inform you that approximately half the palace can hear you right now.”
Drake swallowed roughly, trying to control the anger rolling off him in waves. Fucking Leo. At least he had the decency to look guilty, dropping his eyes to the bartop and taking a deep breath before he spoke again.
“How much did you hear, Liam?”
“More than enough, Leo. Would you mind giving me a moment with Drake?”
“I should have known you’d take his side.”
“You and I will talk later. Right now, I need to speak to Drake.”
Leo stared at Liam for just a second before shaking his head and brushing past him on his way out the door. Drake waited until his footsteps trailed off before he spoke.
“If you had heard some of the shit he was saying, Liam, you-”
“I did hear ‘some of the shit’ he said. I, along with numerous palace employees, heard many things that both of you said. That really isn’t important at the moment. What I’m most interested in is your statement that he dragged you away from your life.”
“Liam, come on. Let’s not do this.”
“Do what, exactly? I am merely asking you to clarify the circumstances under which my brother-”
“Cut the diplomatic bullshit. If you’re going to fight with me, don’t talk to me like I’m some foreign dignitary.”
Liam just shook his head, “I’m not trying to fight with you, Drake. I didn’t even know you were still in the country, so imagine my surprise to hear you and my brother with raised voices, airing what seems to be years of personal grievances loudly enough for all the staff to hear. I’m simply trying to figure out what set both of you off. Leo isn’t usually one who angers like that, so it strikes me that this might be serious.”
“Oh, so you’re saying I'm the one who flies off the handle? The hot-headed commoner can’t control his temper, huh?”
Liam’s eyes widened and he took a beat before he continued, “What the hell is going on with you, Drake? I’m not even sure why you are here, but you seem determined to be furious with someone right now. Why don’t you just take a deep breath and try and-”
“Don’t you dare try to tell me to calm down. Don’t fucking placate me just to fucking keep the peace. I’m not some foreign diplomat, Liam. I’m supposed to be your friend. So don’t fucking treat me like we’re in the midst of a treaty negotiation.”
Liam sighed heavily. “Drake, all I want to do is figure out what is bothering you. I care about you, and I know whatever transpired between you and Leo-”
“Cut the bullshit; you came in here with a purpose. You had a question for me.”
“That’s not important right now. Hearing the way you are getting upset, seeing you here at all, I just-”
“Ask me your goddamn question, Liam.”
Liam hesitated for just a moment. He was clearly trying to gauge whether Drake was past the point of no return here, some part of Drake’s mind could sense that fact. But right now, his blood was pumping. His frustrations from the past few weeks had boiled over, and he was pissed. At Leo. At his life. At himself. And Liam must have realized that, because he decided to feed the beast, knowing there was no other way for Drake to have any sort of rational discussion if he didn’t do him the courtesy of granting him this. 
“What did you mean when you said Leo dragged you away from your life?”
“Did you really never figure out how I was able to afford a last minute flight to Cordonia when I was a broke university student?”
“Leo bought you your ticket back?”
Drake let out a harsh chuckle. “Try Leo fucking showed up on campus, took me in a towncar to a private airplane hanger, and put me on the fucking royal jet.”
A range of emotions rolled rapidly across Liam’s face. Confusion. Shock. Deliberation. But finally, a firm hardness settled into his eyes. Liam was in full-on negotiator mode. It wasn’t a role he had to play often, but when he did, it was always a sight to see. He was poised and calculated and sure. It was great to watch him corner people who mistook his kindness and compassion for weakness. Or at least, Drake had always reveled in it before, when it was directed at presumptuous foreign leaders or entitled and under-prepared nobles. He’d never felt it directed at him. 
“So would it be fair to say that it was out of obligation, not friendship, that you returned to Cordonia?”
“No, I came back because I cared about you and I was worried about you.”
“But you never would have returned if it wasn’t made clear to you that I was struggling to cope. You weren’t worried about me. Leo, the fucking flakiest man on the planet, was worried about me. You just served your role. Well, consider you obligation to me over.”
“Liam, stop it!” Drake tried to cut it, but Liam was far from finished, his words piercing through the room like a dagger.
 “I now understand what you meant about you being the one who had to clean up the mess. I was just some liability punted from Leo to you.”
“Come on, that’s not-.”
“No, you ‘come on,’ Drake. It was obviously in reference to me. In what ways was I such a burden to you? In what ways did I hold you back from your real life?”
“I didn’t mean it like that, I just-”
“How did you mean it Drake? Anyway I can fathom you meaning it undercuts years of friendship, does it not?”
“No, it doesn’t! This is a two-way street, Liam. I know for a fact that I’ve been a burden to you at some points, too.”
Liam paused, swallowing roughly before he continued. “I never saw it that way. I was grateful to be there for you, someone I consider to be family. You were never a burden to me.”
Drake sighed, “I’ve never been as optimistic as you. I’m sorry that my phrasing is harsh, but you know me. I’m not saying that your friendship is some drain on me. But it is a fact that I had to walk away from some things after that assassination attempt. And I don’t regret doing it; but yeah, I left some things behind.”
“Are you sure you don’t regret it? Because listening to you now, it certainly seems like you hold some resentment there, if it still affects you years after the fact.” 
Drake rubbed his face. How had this spiraled into some discussion of his decision years ago? “Look, you needed me then. Everything else kind of fell by the wayside.”
“I may have appreciated your return, but I certainly didn’t need you. You didn’t even realize that I was struggling. I would have been perfectly able of coping on my own.”
Liam paced away from Drake at that, trying to put some distance between them. Honestly, it somehow pissed Drake off even more. This was fucking revisionist history bullshit, that Leo was some intuitive brother, a saint who tracked down a comfort for Liam out of the goodness of his heart, not some responsibility-phobic asshole who booked it the second things get hard.
“Liam, I don’t know whether you needed me or not. But the fact is having me here was helpful, so I stayed. Not just because Leo asked, but because I cared more about your struggles than my own.”
“But I never asked you to do that! And now, years after the fact, you somehow still find a way to hold that against me.”
“What are you talking about?”
Liam spun around and stalked over towards Drake. He had a burning look in his eyes, but he kept clenching and unclenching his fists, as if he were trying to hold back this raging fire of anger and pain inside of him.
“I always looked past the fact that you were envious of me, understanding that some of the privileges of my station might appear to outweigh the burdens from an outside perspective. But now, hearing all of this, I just wonder if…” Liam trailed off, seeming to gain control of himself once again before he continued speaking. “Nevermind, it’s not important.”
“No, go on and say it.” The anger churning inside Drake wanted, no needed, to hear whatever thought Liam had apparently had decided was worth censoring from him, the one person he was never supposed to have to censor himself around.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“That’s fucking infuriating. You started the thought; you might as well finish it.”
Liam closed his eyes briefly before opening them and staring Drake down. “Fine. I wonder if you didn’t pursue Riley as a way to get back at me.”
Drake paused for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around the absolute insanity he was hearing. “What the fuck, Liam?”
“Maybe not consciously, but yes, since you clearly have some sort of resentment you hold against me, I just have to wonder if you maybe you went after her because you knew how much I liked her.”
“Went after her- God, do you really think so little of me that you think I toyed around with some poor woman just as part of some misguided revenge against you? I don’t even know how to respond to that, Liam. It’s so fucking insulting.”
Liam dropped his gaze at Drake’s statement, having the good grace at least to realize that statement was pretty horrible, but Drake felt more and more words coming up. It seemed like once he and Liam started down this road, he just couldn’t stop the thoughts from flowing out, unchecked and without pause.
“And not just to me. She is a grown ass adult who is perfectly capable of making up her own mind about her own relationships. It’s not like she just sat around, staring off into space, waiting for one of us to come along and convince her to be with us.”
“Stop putting words in my mouth, Drake. It isn’t fair and you know it. I have never treated her with anything but the utmost respect and hospitality.”
“That’s how you treat a distant relative who needs a place to stay for a few days. It’s not how you treat someone you want to marry!”
“Well, I don’t think open disdain is the best way to treat a romantic partner, either.”
Drake knew it was an earned dig. After all, he hadn’t exactly held back with his early cruelty towards Riley when speaking with Liam all those months ago. But to have his first impressions thrown in his face, when he had eaten so much crow and opened up to the woman in question so much? When Liam seemed to be stuck on his own first impressions of Riley? It just pissed him off all over again.
“I at least always treated her as an equal. I didn’t put her on some impossible pedestal she was bound to crash from.”
“I did everything in my power to show a woman that I was falling for her, that I adored her, and somehow that is a problem? I respected her roots and her background with kindness and gentleness. I tried to arrange ways to make her feel comfortable in a new country. I researched how to woo someone who had never been part of the nobility. I did everything I could think of to welcome her into this world. I courted her the best way I knew. In fact, I showed her far more affection than any of the other women here for me, even though it weighed on me that I wasn’t treating the rest of them fairly. Explain to me, Drake, how that degree of romance is somehow less desirable than sarcasm and condescension.” 
“You are so fucking blinded by your cloud of royal entitlement, and you can’t even fucking see it. ‘Here for you?’ News flash, Liam - Hana and Maxwell figured it that we were together. I’m pretty sure Bertrand did as well. Hell, my sister claims she knew something was going on between us, and she met Liu for all of an hour. Why is it that you are the only one who didn’t see that something was going on between us?”
Liam opened his mouth to retort, but Drake kept pushing, “I’ll tell you why - you like to think you’re this down to earth royal, but the fact of the matter is, you could never envision a woman willingly choosing to be with me when she had the option to be with you. And maybe I’ve been a shit friend to you in some ways, but guess what? That makes you a pretty shit friend, too. Because you’re willing to sit here and imply that my love is not real, just some petty revenge because you were more important than I could ever be. And you know what? It’s bullshit.” 
“Tell me, Drake - what is the appropriate response in your mind when you find out the woman you were pursuing was sleeping with your best friend and neither one of them saw fit to clue you in?”
“She tried to clue you in. Sure, she could have been more blunt, I guess. But did you really not notice that she stopped sneaking away to meet up for all of your little secret rendezvous? Or how about the fact that she stopped kissing you? But you kept after her. Because of course she was into you. What woman wouldn’t be? Who would choose to be with the lowly commoner instead of the handsome king?”
“Instead of playing the victim here, you could at least treat me with enough respect to acknowledge that you, while claiming to be my best friend, lied to me and let me look like a fool. You could have saved me a lot of pain and heartache. You made the conscious decision not to, and yet you have the gall to stand here and act like I was the one in the wrong.”
Drake glanced away, taking a swig from his glass, but unfortunately it was empty. He couldn’t even get a little distraction as Liam let him have it.
“You always see the worst in people Drake. You claim they see you as less than, that you are somehow treated as worse than others around you based simply on the fact that you were born a commoner. But you never take ownership of your own actions. You expect to be treated with respect when earning your respect is a monumental task that almost no one could ever hope to achieve. You write people off simply for having the misfortune of being born to a different social class, not acknowledging that they have as much control over their heritage as you do over yours. And you expect to be treated with dignity without offering any in return. 
“And I tolerated it, because I knew that there were some people that did treat you as second class, and because you always respected me enough to be one of the few people in my life who granted me complete honesty. But now, that is called into question, because you lied to me, repeatedly. And I have to wonder if you ever cared for me, how you could be so callous in the way you treated me in all of this?”
The question hung in the air, sitting there. It smothered the lounge in thick layer of suspense, neither man able to move forward and speak, yet at the same time unable to look away from each other. Drake felt equal parts guilty and damaged. It seemed like for every critique he’d had of Liam, Liam had his own to hurl right back. Neither one of them held the high ground here. They both were metaphorically beaten and bruised. Eventually, a sharp knock on the door broke the tense silence. After a few more seconds of staring at each other, Liam finally spoke.
“Come in.”
“Of fucking course,” thought Drake. Who else would be here but Olivia fucking Nevrakis? 
“Your assistant told me I might find you here, but he looked awfully uncomfortable about that fact. Did he send me to interrupt a lover’s quarrel?”
Drake refused to dignify her with a response, but the complete silence from both of them clearly spoke volumes. Olivia rolled her eyes slightly before she spoke again.
“As much as I would like to stay for the inevitable brawl and see who wins this, I have something to discuss with His Majesty that’s rather time sensitive. Liam, do you mind?”
Liam turned to face Olivia, but even in profile, Drake could sense him plastering on his diplomatic mask once again. “Of course, Lady Olivia. Let’s head to my office.”
And without a backward glance, he was off, falling in stride with Olivia as the two of them exited the room. As soon as the lounge door swung shut, Drake sank into the closest chair, letting out a long sigh. He felt like he had just thrown up, but in that way when you’ve been nauseous all day from a stomach flu, and then when you finally puke, you somehow feel awful but somehow better all at the same time. 
Telling Liam all these thoughts he’d kept to himself. Telling him the thoughts he didn’t even realize he’d been keeping to himself. Well, it was damn cathartic. To have it all out in the open felt like a relief. Even if Liam had his own issues to throw out there. Hell maybe because Liam had his own issues with him. Finally, they were talking. Really talking, not just beating around the apple tree. And that had to be progress, right?
Sure, as the adrenaline from the fight wore off, some of Liam’s barbs sunk in. And boy, did they sting. But at the end of the day, Drake somehow felt that this was better than their stilted half conversations and awkward small talk. At least this was real. And quite frankly, today kind of felt like rock bottom. That meant things could only improve from here. Drake just had to figure out how.
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@dcbbw @mfackenthal @jovialyouthmusic @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @riley–walker @thequeenofcronuts @notoriouscs @butindeed @thesumofmychoices @cosigottahavefaith @thequeenchoices @katedrakeohd @feartheendlesssummer   @sirbeepsalot @ladyangel70 @ao719  @ooo-barff-ooo @octobereighth @sunnyxdazed
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coffee-obsessed-writer · 7 years ago
Text
The New World - Part 14 The Final Chapter
A/N: This is it! The final part of this series. Thank you to everyone who has gone along this journey. It’s honestly the biggest project I’ve ever tried and while it wasn’t perfect, I loved writing it and I am genuinely sad to see it end.
Daryl Dixon x Reader, Maggie Rhee x reader, Rick Grimes x Reader
Warnings: Language, Canon-divergence, Fluff
Words: 4570
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13
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“Deep breaths, ok?” Maggie smiled and smoothed the back of your dress while you turned your hips trying to see it from all angles.
“Are you sure, Mags? I feel like this is too much,” you whined, running your hands down the lacy bodice of the dress. The generous v-neck bust line offered enough view of your ample cleavage that you knew Daryl would like it just fine. But as your fingers ran down towards the flowing silk of the skirt, you felt self-conscious at the thought of wearing something so formal.
“No! It’s perfect. I am the damn maid-of-honor so shut it and listen to me now,” she reprimanded as she knelt down to fidget with the hem.
Standing with a groan as her knees cracked, she rested her hands on her swollen belly and sighed. “A large maid-of-honor, but still… I’m in charge of this here weddin’ and you’re going to look beautiful, in this dress.”
“Alright, alright, I give! I am not going to argue with my very pregnant best friend. I will wear this dress tomorrow and everything will be perfect,” you laughed, backing away from Maggie in feigned fear.
“Good girl, now turn around so I can get it off before one of the little monsters run in and spills somethin’ on it. Or worse, before he gets home and sees you in it.” Maggie motion for you to spin around and you did as commanded.
“Mags, Glenn is going to make sure he—”
“He’s got it under control hun, I promise. Glenn’s gonna make sure he’s got somethin’ nice to wear and that he shows up without any squirrel guts splattered on his shirt.”
“Shut up,” you laughed but were secretly grateful for Glenn’s handling of Daryl throughout the entire planning process for the wedding. “Where are the kids anyway? It’s far too quiet….”
“Carol took ‘em over to the lake, Shel and Hershel wanted to go fishin’,” Maggie said as she slipped the cream-colored dress from your shoulders and helped you shimmy out of it.
“Oh good, so I have time to run a quick errand,” you mumbled to yourself. Lost in thought you didn’t see the look Maggie was giving you at first. When you finally caught her gaze, you felt your cheeks tinge pink and suddenly felt self-conscious. “What?”
“What errand?” she asked with a raised brow. “Don’t tell me you’re gonna go see her.”
“Maggie, I have too.”
“No, Y/N, you don’t,” she said gently taking your hand in hers. “For the last six months, anytime you’ve seen her you haven’t handled it well. Just let it be. She’s gonna be—”
Squeezing her hand lightly before taking yours from hers, you smiled. “I know, that’s why I need to see her.”
“I think you’re crazy,” she said shaking her head while carefully putting the dress back in the garment bag. “But, I guess I get it. Just be careful, okay? Daryl would kill me if I let any drama unfold the day before you guys finally get married.”
“I promise, in and out. I just have to see her before I can finally and completely move on.”
“Alright, well, go do what you gotta. Carol’s got the kids for another hour or so,” Maggie smiled, but you could see the worry behind it.
After giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, you headed for the door with a spring in your step.
Approaching the cell gate, a mixed feeling of nerves and excitement began to swirl in your stomach. With each passing week since it happened, the knowledge that Rosita sat in the cell, while slowly growing the spawn of Negan continued to unsettle you. Even though he was dead, you and several others, couldn’t shake the feeling that she would be the one to cause more trouble.
The debate on what to do with Rosita had been a frequent topic of discussion over the past six months, with everyone having a different idea of what to do with her and the baby. Finally, a conclusion was reached between the community leaders and their councils. Today was the day you were going to tell her.
Just as you were about to unlock the door, the presence of someone behind you caused you to jump. Rick was standing behind you, hands on his hips, head slightly tilted to the side.
“And what do you think you’re doin’?” he asked, his eyes narrowed at you, yet a smile played on his lips.
“Just paying the prisoner a little visit,” you said and returned his smile.
“Y/N, we talked about this. Given the circumstances and all, I don’t think you goin’ to see her is a great idea.”
Taking a step closer to Rick, you gave a cursory glance around to see if you were alone. “It’s been six months Rick, and we’ve never talked about it. Tomorrow, we start the next phase of our lives here, right? If you think I am going to do that without some sort of resolution to this…”
“Look, I get it, alright? I just don’t think laying it out for her right now—”
“Rick. Please. I’m going in there.”
“What are you going to tell her?” he asked not without a bit of concern.
You just shrugged and gave him a knowing look. Rick snorted a nervous laugh and sighed.
“Do what you gotta,” the Sheriff said before starting to turn away. “Just… be careful.”
“Always,” you smiled and left him standing alone outside while you ventured in to deal with Rosita.
Despite the bright sunny skies outside, the one lone cell window only offered enough natural light to be able to see the immediate surroundings. It was cool and dark beyond the cell bars, and a very solemn Rosita was stood in the same corner that Negan used to favor.
Her dark eyes flickered up to your face and an audible groan escaped her lips.
“Fuck,” she whispered upon seeing the smile that was spread across your lips. “What do you want?”
“I am here to deliver the news of your fate,” you said, feeling the smile grow bigger on your lips.
“Oh, really? And where do you idiots think I am going with him? He’s barely a week old,” she said motioning towards the bassinet in the corner.
“You? Oh, you are getting exiled from the communities. There’s no way you can live here with us and we certainly don’t want to waste resources on you. Besides, it’s not like you wanted to be here anyway, right? Isn’t that why you took his side? As for the baby, he can stay here for now. I’d never send an innocent child into the world the way it is. He won’t live here mind you, but both Hilltop or the Kingdom has plenty of childless families willing to raise him,” you replied as your hands began to wrap around the bars.
“However, if you think we are going to let you stay here and raise him, you are sadly mistaken. If you think I could continue to raise my family here with you around, knowing what you are capable of…”
“Fuck you! You aren’t taking my baby away,” she hissed, storming the bars and coming within an inch of your face. “Who the fuck do you think you are?”
A burning desire to knock the bitch on her ass swelled, but you knew you couldn’t do that if you expected everything to work on the way you wanted. Licking your lips, you allowed yourself a moment to find some willpower and take a small step back from the bars.
“Me? Oh, I’m no one, Rosita. I’m just the messenger. Did I push for this? Sure, I did… but ultimately this wasn’t my decision…”
“It was all of ours,” Rick’s voice spoke up behind you. “Rosita, you’ll be taken out tomorrow morning, given supplies and released. If you fight us, we will just execute you.”
“What happened to you? To you both?” she asked, a look of horror written on her face.
“Just following your lead darlin’,” you said with a sigh. “You, Spencer, Negan… you all started this. Me, Rick and the others… we’re just finishing it.”
With a slight shrug, you turned to leave and caught Rick’s gaze. You knew he was silently warning you to stay the course, and not take it any further, but the urge to turn and tell her the rest of it was overwhelming.
“Tomorrow,” he whispered, “we finish it tomorrow.” The slight nod of his head stamped down the desire to further wreck Rosita’s day.
“Fine,” you sighed and turned back to her. “Enjoy your last night here, Rosita.”
You were finally ready to leave, but the woman couldn’t keep her mouth shut. A string of expletives in Spanish poured from her mouth making you pause in the entryway. You could hear a groan from Rick when you spun back around to face her, his fingers pinching the bridge of his nose knowing you weren’t going to be able to hold back now.
“Call me all the names you want you little bitch. In fact, let me add one more on there, alright? Murderer…”
Her eyes grew wide and a confused expression screwed up her face. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“It means, the night that Daryl beat Negan nearly to death? It wasn’t the blows that killed him. In fact, when I went to see Denise that night, Negan was coming around. Now that I think about it, I believe he was nearly fully conscious when I told him to enjoy Hell and slipped the blade into his temple, isn’t that right Rick?”
You could hear the Sheriff sigh behind you and mumble in agreement.
“You… you did it? You killed him?!” Rosita’s face contorted into something you’d never seen before, giving you an immense feeling of satisfaction.
“I did. It was so easy too. That knife just slid right in… like cutting a piece of warm butter,” you purred, your eyes scanning over the devastation written on her face. “Did you really think Daryl did it? C’mon, I mean, he could have beat him to death, sure. But he didn’t. Unconscious, sure, but to death… for all he’s capable of, he’s not capable of that. Me, however, I am definitely capable.”
“Y/N, I think maybe that’s enough,” Rick said, laying a handle gently on your shoulder.
“Just a minute, Rick,” you said and offered him a kind smile. Turning back to Rosita, you saw that she’d taken a few steps back from the bar, her eyes still fixed on you.
“Remember back at Hilltop, when you accused me of not having lost anything? Hmmm? You were angry with me because you said I’d not suffered like you? You couldn't have been more wrong. I killed my first husband, Rosita. After I watched both of my little boys die in front of me. I had to put them both down while he was passed out drunk in the chair. I took a shotgun and I killed him while he slept. If you think for a second that I felt one bit of remorse for what I did to Negan, I sorta feel sorry for you. And, if you think I will feel one ounce of it for knowing you’re out there without your child, well, once again, that’s just fucking sad.”
Finally deciding you were done with her, you turned to leave the cell. Without looking back, you left her with a few more parting words, while flipping her off over your shoulder.
“Welcome to the new world, sweetheart.”
The next day dawned without a cloud in the sky. Your eyes opened, and you rolled over to feel the empty space where Daryl should have been. Disappointed, you sat up in bed only to see a bouquet of daisies and a note on the table beside you.
          “took the kids fishing… see you at the thing
                                  xo – D”
“Fishing, today? Really?” you snorted a laugh and grabbed the bouquet of flowers he left you, lightly brushing your fingers along the white silky petals.
In just a few hours, you would be standing out at the gazebo with Daryl as Gabriel officially made you husband and wife. Even though you had lived for so many years thinking of yourself as his wife, the ceremony and party planned caused a wave of excitement to rush through you.
Once you were up and showered, you went downstairs to see your very pregnant best friend moving around the kitchen, along with Carol, Tara, and Michonne.
“What are you all doing here so early?” you asked, stopping to hug each one of them.
“You’re getting married today, did you think we wouldn’t come and spoil you with baked goods?” Carol answered, giving your cheek a pinch.
“It’s not that early hun, as a matter of fact, it is almost time to get you ready!” Maggie chimed in, brushing the crumbs from her hands and from shirt covering her belly, as she placed the freshly baked muffins Carol had brought over on the counter.
“But the kids are with Daryl out fishing. I need to get them cleaned up and I am sure Shelby’s hair is a tangled mess!”
“Sweetheart, do you really believe I’d let him take them fishing the morning of your wedding?” Carol laughed and patted your shoulder, “You have such little faith in me!”
Laughing, and a bit relieved, you sat down at the counter and grabbed a muffin. “Where are they then?”
“Working on a surprise for you,” Tara said cryptically and winked before taking a muffin of her own. “However, they should be about done, and I am going to go home and get ready. Hopefully, Denise left me some hot water.”
“I should go too. I have to make sure Judith is dressed and not covered in whatever art project she deemed necessary to start this morning. I’m so happy for you both, and excited to be able to celebrate something good today,” Michonne smiled as she lightly grabbed both your shoulders and leaving a kiss on your cheek. “It’s going to be perfect.”
“See you guys there?” Tara asked as she and Michonne headed towards the door.
“Absolutely,” you smiled and suddenly felt your stomach twist with nerves.
Turning to Maggie and Carol, you bit down on your lip and considered asking the question you wanted to ask. Not wanting to ruin the day, but unable to hide your growing curiosity, you decided to chance it.
“Is it done?”
They both froze at your question and shared a knowing look.
“Yes,” Carol finally answered, “she’s gone.”
“And the baby?”
Maggie sighed and swallowed hard. “Aaron took him to The Kingdom. There’s a couple there that recently lost a child and were more than happy to take him in.”
“Good… That’s good…” you felt a nervous breath escape your lips and suddenly had the urge to sit.
With that last piece of business taken care of, you felt as though you could finally move on from all that had happened in the past six months. It was a new day that dawned bright with hope and one that would end with you and your husband ready to start the next chapter of your lives.
“Alright Shel, I think it’s ready,” Daryl said, picking Abe up and holding out his hand for his daughter.
She jumped up and giggled at the efforts of their work. “It’s so pretty daddy!” she squealed as her little hand was engulfed by his. “Mama is gonna love it!”
“I think so too munchkin,” he cooed looking down at her angelic face as his heart filled with love for both of them.
Walking away from the gazebo towards Carol’s house, Daryl was suddenly hit by the weight of all that was happening. His entire life, all the traumas, and heartaches, had led him to meet her and creating the kind of family he’d always dreamed of having. Overwhelmed by it, he tried to focus on getting through the afternoon without being consumed by how it all made him feel.
He wanted to be strong for her, always. He needed to be the best version of himself for her and for the kids. But he couldn’t do that if he let himself be swarmed by the depth of love that lived in him now. All the past hurt and anger had slowly been evaporating, leaving him lighter, and more like the version of himself he always imagined lived inside.
“Daddy, this party is gonna be fun!” Shelby sang as she skipped alongside him.
“Mhm, it is. You ‘n Abe, Hershel too, y’all are gonna have a great time,” Daryl smiled down at her as they reached Carol’s porch. “But first we gotta have the ceremony part, ‘lright? Remember I told ya about that?”
“Yes, daddy. That’s the part we gotta be real quiet ‘cause you and momma are gonna say stuff.”
Daryl snorted a laugh, “Right, somethin’ like that. But Aunt Maggie will be with ya, ‘n it shouldn’t take too long.”
“What are you gonna say?” Shelby asked taking the last few steps up onto Carol’s porch.
“That’s a good question munch, guess I should figure that out, huh?”
“Um, yeah,” she giggled and ran up to Carol’s door where she was greeted with open arms.
“Good timing!” Carol said sweeping the little girl up in the air, “I just got home and am ready to get you guys all cleaned up for mommy and daddy’s special day!” Carol looked up and saw Daryl still wearing his usual ripped pants and sleeveless black shirt.
Raising a brow at him, he placed Abe down on the porch. “I’m goin’ now, stop naggin’ me.”
“I said nothing,” she quipped, a smirk on her lips. “However, if I was going to say something, it would be to get your unkempt ass to Glenn’s and get ready. It’s time to go make an honest woman out of Y/N.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he grumbled as he bounded down the porch, an unmistakable spring in his step.
Smiling to herself, Carol ushered the kids into the house and got them ready for the wedding.
“Ready?” Maggie asked before she pulled the door open.
“Yes,” you replied, your stomach twisting into a bundle of nerves.
Before Maggie could open it, there was a soft knock at the door. Passing you a curious look, she pulled it open and smiled at Rick as he stood before you both.
“Mind if I have a word with the bride before this shindig gets started?” he asked Maggie before stepping in.
“Sure, just don’t make her late. I’ll wait for you on the porch,” she said and stepped out, closing the door behind her.
“Wow,” Rick said, giving you a once over. “You look beautiful. Daryl is a very lucky man.”
“Thanks,” you said, your cheeks tinging pink, “what brings you by?”
“Well, two things actually. One. I wanted you to know that she’s gone. Rosita left quietly at the release point. I honestly don’t think she’ll be back.”
You nodded and released the breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding.
“What we did…” Rick started and paused, drawing in a deep breath before exhaling slowly, “to him—”
“What I did to him, Rick. You didn’t do anything.”
“I saw you do it and I didn’t try to stop you.”
“Maybe. But you knew it had to happen. You, me and Denise… no one else ever has to know.”
You tried to sound firm in your assertion, but Rick couldn’t help but notice the hesitancy in your voice.
“Besides,” you continued, “it’s over now. Negan is dead. Rosita is gone, and that poor child will never have to live in a world where those two had any influence over him. It’s what was best.”
“You sure about that?” Rick asked.
“Yes. I am. If I’m wrong, then I’ll have to live with that. But I’ll be damned if I will let the people in this community or any of the others, continue on living in fear that she’ll betray us again.”
A silence passed briefly between you and when you caught Rick’s gaze again, he seemed ready to move past the ugly business of Negan and Rosita.
“So what was the second thing?” you asked.
“Well, Maggie said you might need someone to walk ya down the aisle,” Rick smiled and pushed out his elbow so you could link your arm with his. “If I’ll do, that is.”
Tears stabbed at the corner of your eyes at his offer. “That would be amazing, Rick… thank you.”
“Then, let’s get you hitched before Maggie comes in here and yells at me for makin’ ya late,” the Sheriff chuckled and opened the door to escort you towards the groom waiting in the gazebo.
Approaching the gazebo on Rick’s arm, you heard the music playing from the speakers before you saw the actual adornments that Daryl and the kids had spent the morning adding to the structure. A variety of pink and purple flowers were woven through the lattice while streams of lace and burlap tied together bouquets of wildflowers attached to the entryway.
Gabriel stood in the middle of the gazebo, with Daryl on his right. Maggie was standing right on the steps with Abe and Shelby on either side of her. The rest of your friends and family were standing on the grass to either side of the narrow path leading to the makeshift altar.
On both sides of the gravel walkway, were narrow lengths of ivory satin, held down with two dozen candles that were lightly flickering in the summer breeze. You felt Rick squeeze your arm just as you approached the beautifully lit trail that would lead you to your husband.
“You alright?” Rick whispered.
“Mhm,” you said, swallowing hard and trying your best not to cry.
“Alright then, here we go,” the Sheriff said and started walking you to the rest of your life.
Stepping into the shade of the gazebo which was also flickering with a dozen candles, Daryl’s eyes were transfixed on you. A goofy smile spread out across his face as he his tongue inadvertently ran across his lips.
“You look beautiful,” he said loud enough for only you and Gabriel able to hear his compliment. He reached out and gently took your hand, lightly brushing his thumb across the back of it.
“You clean up pretty good yourself, Dixon,” you winked, causing him to shift uncomfortably.
“Friends,” Gabriel started, looking at you and Daryl, “we are gathered today to bless the union of Daryl and Y/N. It is a rare and glorious sight in today’s new age, to see a joining of souls such as these two. When one finds their other half, it is important to take that and foster it into a coupling built with a foundation of love and respect, loyalty, and communication.
“Daryl and Y/N have asked you all here today to witness their promise and to help bind them to it, should dark skies every plague their family. As a participant in this ceremony, I ask that you all take the hand of your own loved one or family member closest, and spread the promise of what these two special people share. They asked this of you to not only bond you individually but us, together, as a community and a larger family unit.”
A small murmur of excitement ran through the small crowd as they did as asked, then turning their attention back to Gabriel.
“Daryl and Y/N have elected to forgo the traditional vows for something more akin to their special bond. Daryl,” Gabriel said and motioned for him to go ahead.
Clearing his throat, Daryl gave a small nod to Gabriel.
“Shelby asked me what I was gonna say before. Made me realize I hadn’t figured that out yet. Honestly, I still don’t really know what to say, ’cept that when I was a kid, the idea of havin’ my own family wasn’t realistic. Never thought anyone would put up with the likes of me. Hell, still sorta shocked you do. But, when I saw ya at the prison, way back when, I knew that if there was ever a chance to be happy, it’d be with you.”
Daryl reached into his pocket and pulled out a small silver band that matched the sapphire ring he gave you months before. Gently, he slipped in on your finger and laced his hand into yours.
“I love you,” he said quietly, “there is nothing I want more than to keep doin’ this with ya.”
“Y/N,” Gabriel prodded when Daryl was done, letting you know it was your turn.
Suddenly you couldn’t find your voice. You opened your mouth but the words you had so carefully been planning for the last two months wouldn’t cooperate. Swallowing hard again, you tried to force something, but nothing came to mind.
Daryl’s lips twitched into a smile, and you knew he was sort of delighting in the fact that you were speechless. You’d been pestering him for weeks to write something for the ceremony, always flaunting the fact that you’d done your vows. Every time he blew you off and you would feign annoyance. But now that it was time, you were at a complete loss for words and was loving it.
It took Daryl’s smirk turning into a full-fledged chuckle for you to think of something to say.
“You know something Dixon, you’re an ass,” you said louder than you’d planned, eliciting a laugh from the people outside the gazebo.
“Nice,” he said shaking his head.
“You are… but you’re mine,” you laughed and took both his hands in yours. “You have changed everything about me and what I thought life should be. You took what should have been a life of darkness and despair and filled it with love and laughter. Despite the trying times we’ve had since that very first hunting trip, I wouldn’t change a damn thing…”
Daryl blushed at the reference and you could tell he was holding back his own emotions as not to well up in front of everyone they knew.
“I love you, Daryl. I love our life, our kids, our friends. Nothing could or will ever change that.” You turned to Maggie who placed a thick silver banded ring in your hand and gave you a wink.
Turning back to your husband, you took his left hand and effortlessly slipped the ring on his finger. Catching his gaze, you knew that everything leading you both to that place was a necessary part of your story.
You waved the kids up into the gazebo, Abe going for you right away, while Shelby latched onto Daryl. Looking at them all you, you were firm in the knowledge that everything, from meeting at the prison up until the ugliness of the Negan, was meant to lead you right to where you stood, making these promises with Daryl and the kids, in front of all the people you loved.
“Well then,” Gabriel started, his hands thrown wide in celebration, “Shelby, Abraham, beloved friends, and family… please welcome me in officially proclaiming Daryl and Y/N Dixon, as husband and wife. Please, kiss that beautiful bride of yours!”
Daryl didn’t hesitate and pulled you into his arms. His kiss was soft, yet wanting. It was full of everything he wanted and everything he planned on giving. Wrapping your arms around his neck, a feeling of blissful relief washed over you. Everything you could have ever hoped for was right there, just waiting for you to grab it and despite the current state of things beyond the walls, make it the best life worth living.
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