#//((I wanted to do a villain redemption right and it's a very thin balancing act that I'm doing for it.

[pendles-is-friendles]

18

Munday!: Accepting!

18. A character trait you don’t see often that your muse has.

((Just kinda set aside Blands!Torque at the moment for this, ‘cause he’s far more a victim in his situation than other verses because Psycho-ness is added on top of this characterization rather than a result of or a contributing factor to it.  Psycho Torque would’ve still ended up a cultist for Mum and ended up in the same situation.))

This is a hard one to describe because of my on-brand wordiness and over complicated nuances and such, but Torque’s juxtaposition of nature vs. nurture where nature is him being overall good, gentle, and soft vs. harmful/abusive coping mechanisms and anger/addiction issues is not something I see often.  

People tend to pick one or the other (which is valid), or just kinda slap on one trait over the other or use one to excuse the other. 

While Torque was never necessarily “evil” in motivation --his actions were all a direct result of being brainwashed, growing up in such a hostile environment, or outright fear-- his evil actions were always treated as such and he pays dearly for them.  Though, his good acts and natural want to be gentle is not used to excuse his other actions or earn his redemption.  

As for Psycho!Torque... this changes a little because of his Psycho-ness.  He has aspects of all of these struggles as well as being a Psycho.  Thankfully, he has a much smaller chip on his shoulder and is a lot less overtly hateful (like, he doesn’t like the other cults but if Mum weren’t a thing, he’d just be wary about them).  He doesn’t really go out of his way to actually ruin someone’s day (outside of goofy trolling and peanut gallery-ing), he just sees himself as having a job he must do otherwise Mum’ll kill us all, kind of thing.  As I said, a lot of nuance and over compicatedness.

[shadowdianne]

Whenever you're ready: "Pain can turn you into the worst form of yourself."

I had so many ideasfor this one Xd, I needed a few attempts to decide which one could work bettersince my original idea was to focus either on Emma during the Dark One arc ormaking it revolve around Regina's thinking during different points of her ownredemption arc. Perhaps throw a flashback scene while at it. Eventually, Idecided to go for this.

I hope you like it

Set in: 4X19. With somedisregarding the time-line in terms of plot.

New York rose around the three of them as theyexited the car, the buildings and noise from the city circling their throats asthey eyed the apartment building that stood in front of them. It wasn't as badas the one Regina and Emma had been in while searching for Lily and theunspoken but still deliberate comparison pended over their heads. It could bethe still fresh magic surge Emma had felt back at the road, but the blonde feltherself sway for a second as Regina circled the car, a careful hand touchingthe back of her elbow the moment she lost her footing, boots scratching theasphalt with a sound unnaturally loud for the younger woman's ears.

Eyeing the brunette woman Emma smiled at her asan almost automatic response, muscles tense around her mouth and eyes as shetried to regain her balance. She didn't need long before she felt ready to walkinto the building, the scent of cooking food wafting towards them as Lilywaited, back against the metallic door of the car. Eyes swift and browfurrowed, she kept a close eye on both Regina and Emma with the kind ofcuriosity that made the blonde feel uneasy; watched, judged. Beginning to takea step away from Regina as the brunette's brown eyes traveled from the façadeof the building towards her face, Emma saw the telling signs of a storm brewingon the older woman's pupils. Which, she knew, would have been colored inpurples and lilacs would have they been back inside the barrier that protectedStorybrooke from the rest of the world.

Despite the impossibility of something magical,Emma could almost feel the scent of ozone on the back of her throat, forming aquickly thickening coat that made her swallow, nervous. Halting, the hold onher elbow tightened just enough for her eyes to widen as she glanced back towhere Regina was still looking at her, expression open, somber.

"Don't you want to enter?" Thequestion came out of her in a much weaker way than she had intended and thehalf-hearted circle her free hand started as her words were swallowed by thesurrounding noise, died before she could even finish it. Fingers growing warmas her skin grew too thin beneath Regina's hold, Emma felt the residual angershe had tried to keep on stocking for the duration of their journey –the onethat had made her feel feverish as she had stared at Lily through the barrel ofher gun, diminish and wither in a way that made her gasp.

Regina kept staring at her, as she pushed herto the side, close enough for them to keep an eye on Lily but far enough forEmma to stumble as the former queen let her go from her grasp, standing close,however, for Emma to glance down, unsure.

"You told me that in this world therewere neither heroes nor villains." The brunette's words were said without preamble, her voice soft butstill holding a very particular bite to it; the same kind of one Emma had felton her bones a few hours ago when she had felt ready to repeat something shefelt she had already done with Cruella; the woman's face embedded into theinsides of her eyelids. Regina had brought her back from that with a chillingunderstanding that made her shiver as she glanced at Lily, unable to stopherself. The other woman glared back; anger seeping through, distrust on herpupils.

She had, indeed, said it so. And there was athing she believed in; a thing that had turned out to be the backbone of hervery reasoning way before Henry had knocked on her door. There were bad people,good people; real people.

Yet, ever since she had entered intoStorybrooke greys were beginning to become more and more difficult to look atthem, always distorted by history and pain from a world she felt as far away asmagic had felt once. The very thought of it made her recoil; the admission ofher self; her own self, the only thing that had been everything she had beenable to feel sure about for the longest of times a byproduct of someone else'sdecision acting as hot iron on her inwards; metal bands clutching her heart asshe tried to breathe.

She wondered as she looked back at Regina; ifthe older woman could sense her turmoil with the same precision she had beenable to tell her she intended to go with her in this crazy plan of returningthe woman who had been the recipient of someone else plan in the same way thetwo of them had been. She knew, even before the words were fully formed in hermind, that the brunette could, indeed.

Feeling mangled to the point of no return,formless in the way Regina kept eyeing her as if waiting for some kind ofresponse; far too hot, far too intense, far too full of a promise Emma couldonly bite her bottom lip at, the blonde swallowed thickly before nodding once,twice.

"Idid."

Regina sighed, tension leaving her body as sherose the hand that had been circling the blonde's arm, fingers curved still,soft as they paused an inch away from Emma's jaw, warmth radiating in wavesthat felt entirely too powerful for them to not be magical. As impossible asthat was.

"Ineed you to focus on that, Emma." Regina closed the already minusculedistance that kept them apart even more with one single step towards herdirection, her chest brushing Emma's, her fingers hovering less than an inchaway from her face as the blonde realized she was trembling, nervous and aboutto bolt and yet still not truly wanting to. "We will talk when we are backto Storybrooke. I promise you that. But I need you to believe what you toldme."

"Ido believe…" For a second, Emma thought of Henry, her voice holding thesame whining quality the teen's voice took whenever either of them reminded himthat he needed to eat healthily. Ashamed, she glanced down, the movementcreating the contact she hadn't been sure she was ready for; the graze ofRegina's fingers powerful in the same sense a magical discharge would be,phantom-like sparks igniting her blood-stream.

"You don't." Regina's eyes werewise, her cheeks flushed and Emma needed to bite down on her tongue as shebattled against the need to tilt her head, to kiss her, to throw everythingelse she had been trying to build out of expectations to someone who had seenher more like a bargaining chip, a concept, rather than what she had been, outof the window. "You did once but you don't anymore."

It was cryptic enough for the blonde to want toscream again, to tell Regina to keep silent about things she truly didn'tunderstand. What was there to say after all? Emma felt robbed of the veryability to answer back with anger; rage an emotion good people weren't supposedto feel anymore. Not when one's moral compass was, apparently, in jeopardy.

Before she was able to fully comprehend her ownstring of thoughts, words blurted out of her; scalding ones that felt more likegashes into the air between the two of them as she took that step back, movingaway from Regina's far too beckoning warmth. One she missed the second she felther senses grow less clear, less vivid, as New York's smoke embraced her.

"You say this, but you think like themtoo."  Neither of the two needed to askwho she was referring to and even if Lily's head snapped towards them as if shehad been able to listen to her words, Emma merely licked her lips before shelowered her chin, hair tickling at her cheeks. "You are in this mightyhorse, Regina, about pain and redemption but you also think that everythingthat moves away from this very narrow path will automatically turn me…"

"Into a villain?" Regina's mouthquirked into a smile so reminiscent from the one Emma could still rememberseeing on the counterpart she so briefly had been able to meet that theblonde's wrath turned to ice. Chuckling gravely, Regina shook her head whileshe lowered her hand, placing it over her own stomach, not pressing but flat."Haven't you read Henry's comics dear? It's always much more complicatedthan that."

Emma closed her hands into fists, musclesstraining beneath her clothes. She had denied herself a negative response tothe very little information she had gotten; she had turned deaf to the gutsensation that had kept her alive for the most part of her adult life. A thingshe had promised herself to never do again. She felt spent, pained, and so shecentered her every core around it, wishing for another thunderbolt to cross thesky that felt darker than it should truly be; almost yellow around the corner,dirty and washed out on its light.

"Then why did you even say…" She wasstopped by Regina's closing the little distance she had created for them withtoo much easiness. The kind of one that made her almost want to ask her in bitternesswhy she was even doing this in front of her supposed soulmate's apartment.Hasn't she been so worried about him? About a man who had crossed the line andreadied himself to never see her again? The questions; callous, died on hertongue as Regina sighed and rose her fingers once more, trapping one lock ofher hair and placing it back behind her ear with a quickness to it; a rawhonesty to it, that Emma could only gape.

"Because that's what the voice inside yourhead is telling you; that your parents are right."

Regina's eyes were full once more and Emmaglanced at Lily as she tried to regain some sense to the way the sentencefloated towards her, chaining itself to her very skin. The other brunette,however, merely rose one eyebrow towards her; something else equally deep onthem; a kind of something that felt almost animalistic in the way it made Emmashudder as she focused on the former queen once more.

Woman who was far from finishing.

"You do want to have these responses tothem, to the pain. But you don't want to give into the satisfaction of aself-written warning."

Emma pointed at the building a few meters awayfrom them, agitated enough to push back even if she didn't know exactly how.This time, it was her who got into Regina's space; breathing hard; ragged.

"Aren't you doing the same then?"

Regina's eyes flashed, and, for a moment, Emmaalmost expected a magic attack from her, one like the one she had gotten solong ago at the brunette's porch. It, of course, never came, but she still feltthe muscles on her abdomen tighten as ire turned into a blade. One she feltbothered enough to use. Even if that meant burning every bridge.

"You say this but here you are; talkingabout anger and rage as if that alone would make you evil." Seething, Emmashook her head; trying to clear her thoughts enough to form a wall between thebrunette and herself even if everything was telling her just keep pushing, tokeep moving, until neither she or Regina had a place, had space, to go.Gritting her teeth, Emma grasped Regina's hand by her wrist; fingertips pressedagainst the brunette's pulse point. "And you are so much better than that."

Than him.

For a moment, a far too long moment, neither ofthem moved and as Emma's ears began to pick New York's aura back once again,she felt the prickling sensation of a decision begging to be made settlingaround her stomach, getting lower with every breathing she took.

Until Regina made the decision for her andstepped back; lips fuller-looking than before. Casting a side-way glance toLily, the brunette shrugged; self-deprecatingly.

"You stopped yourself."

"You made me."

The words flew, and Emma hugged her torso;unsure of what was she trying to defend anymore. Or if she was really supposedto. Regina sighed deeply at that before she hummed; lost in thought.

"You deserve better, Emma. Deep down, youknow it."

And, with that, she walked towards thebuilding's door, posture as perfect as ever; steps as full of momentum as Emmahad always known her.

"You could have done worse, Swan."Lily's words registered slowly but when they did Emma couldn't do a thing asthe woman smirked, the resemblance to Mal a flashing thought.

"We aren't what you think."

"Don't you want it?"

[ice-cream-beat]

Hi, I'm an avid reader of Dark Horse Running and Where the End Begins, and I was wondering if you could share more on your thoughts of Vanitas? Specifically makes you think there's something beyond his apparent lust for bloodshed and cruelty towards Ven? Do you think there's any chance of a redemption for in the series? And also, how would you ever write/how do you picture pre-split Ven's characterization?

Hello! Sure thing! And I apologize in advance for how long this is inevitably going to be. 8D;

Specifically makes you think there’s something beyond his apparent lust for bloodshed and cruelty towards Ven?

This really isn’t something I attribute to him personally as much as

A) one of KH’s big themes is that darkness isn’t inherently bad, it’s what you choose to do with it that makes you who you are. Obviously, Vanitas has chosen to give into it entirely, but I think he has the potential to control it. The first comparison you could make is to Riku and Terra, but the biggest difference between those three, obviously, is that Vanitas doesn’t have a strong light in his heart to balance his darkness (not anymore, anyway) which is what calls into question whether it’s even really possible for him to change. But I think it’s a bit more accurate to compare him to Xehanort – a case of someone who’s given into darkness, but who (and I’m putting all my bias for the Wayfinder trio aside to say this objectively) isn’t actually evil. Xehanort does some terrible, terrible things of course, but even Nomura up and stated that Xehanort isn’t a “monster.” He never does things just for the sake of being cruel; everything he does has a purpose behind it. Granted, that doesn’t excuse anything he’s done and he’s still a terrible person, obviously, but it’s still a step above someone like Vanitas, who clearly enjoys hurting and mocking others, and who legitimately got excited when talking about the impending Keyblade War when he had nothing to gain from it besides participation and/or watching the apocalypse happen.

THAT SAID, I think there’s a grey area between Ultimately Good Guys who use darkness like Terra and Riku, and Utterly Evil Villains Who Are Swamped In Darkness like Vanitas. But I’ll talk more on that in a bit.

B) I think he’s as human as Ven is. Even though Vanitas was created unnaturally, I figure that he and Ven are really the same when you get down to it, since they each come from the same heart, and the only real difference was that Vanitas was given a new, separate body. And since all humans are potentially redeemable (in my opinion), I think Vanitas could change if he wanted (keywords: “if” and “wanted”).

And while it’s sometimes tough to figure out when Xehanort’s lying, when he’s telling a half-truth, and when he’s being honest, I also personally think that what he told Terra – “He has no control over the darkness in his heart[…] He’s an abomination beyond hope of salvation.” – was probably a lie, considering almost everything else in that conversation was false. Putting Vanitas down as irredeemable (whether or not it’s true in the end) was probably Xehanort’s way of ensuring that Terra would have no doubts about potentially tracking down this kid and killing him as he was told to do.

tl;dr: Xehanort lies a lot and I don’t think you can use what he says about Vanitas as definitive fact.

Do you think there’s any chance of a redemption for in the series?

WELL… if you’ve read those two fics of mine, then it’s probably obvious that I believe it’s possible, yes – but do I think canon will go out of its way to set up the circumstances that Vanitas needs to turn around? I’m really not sure. tbqh my dream scenario for KH3 is that everyone gets redeemed to some degree, that nobody has to die and we get the ultimate happy ending, and I personally find this to be more likely than just one or two villains getting redeemed. So specifically – disclaimer: I have nothing to back this up, this is purely speculation – I would think Vanitas only stands a chance at surviving and turning around if Xehanort does. From a plot/meta standpoint, it would probably make more sense for Vanitas (who is legit darkness incarnate) to be redeemed only if Xehanort (who’s given into darkness without letting it take total control of him, as I mentioned above, and is thus arguably an “easier” case of redemption than Vanitas) is as well.

To go deeper into it, though, I actually think Vanitas would stand a better chance of being redeemed if Xehanort survives. And before anyone jumps on me about how Xehanort mistreated him and is at fault for the way he is and shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near him etc etc etc – first, I don’t acknowledge the light novels, and I think Vanitas would have been screwed up with or without Xehanort in his life. He had the natural inclination towards evil because of what his heart was made up of. Second, consider the circumstances of Vanitas’ life. Ever since being born, he’s had a purpose: fight Ventus, create the X-blade, usher in the Keyblade War. He trained for it for four years straight. If my suspicions are right and he’s one of the Thirteen in KH3, then again, he has a clear-cut purpose that defines his unnatural existence.

So even if he survives the War in KH3, his life will be radically different because he doesn’t have a purpose to fight towards anymore. Sure, Eraqus could adopt him with the rest and tell him to fight for the good side now, but what reason does Vanitas have to just suddenly throw away all his bias and beliefs, changing the way he is and suddenly fighting alongside the enemies he’s always looked down on? I don’t think it’d be that easy, which is why I say Xehanort could be the key.

Regardless of anyone’s thoughts on Xehanort personally, there’s no denying that he’s always given Vanitas purpose, that he’s the only authority and mentor Vanitas has ever known. He’s the only person Vanitas has had the potential to respect. So I’d think it’s much more likely that Vanitas would follow a reformed Xehanort long before he followed anyone else, especially anyone good and light-centric like Eraqus or Ven.

And you can probably see where these thoughts of mine tie into Where The End Begins, specifically. XD In particular – and I hope I don’t come off as too full of myself by quoting my own fic for my argument – I basically summed it up in this scene:

“I’m… kind of surprised he’s still here, actually.”

“He has nowhere else to go.” There was no pity or concern in Xehanort’s tone; it was simply matter-of-fact, as though this were an obvious truth. “Like anybody, he needs a purpose, and familiarity is always the best starting point.”

Ven didn’t hide his confusion. “You mean he chose to stay with you?”

“I did not twist his arm, if that’s what you are thinking. He is of my making, so I do not deny responsibility in the matter; I gave him some incentive to remain, but nothing more.”

Incentive…? Ven frowned. As far as he knew, Vanitas was assisting with the Heartless problem to kill time, but that was it–

He straightened up a little as a thought occurred to him.

“Wait a minute. He’s not still training under you, is he?”

Leaning his temple against his fist, Xehanort gave a thin smile. “Like yourself, Vanitas has much power, much untapped potential. More than I initially estimated. It would be a shame to let that go to waste.” When Ven’s face darkened, Xehanort added, “Or perhaps you would prefer to have him explore his abilities on his own – unguided and unrestrained?”

“N-No, but…”

“You can sense it, can’t you? He hides it well – remarkably so, considering his nature – but you of all people should know what he is truly like.”

…Although for the sake of fanfic plot, I’m complicating the matter a bit with how Vanitas has trouble putting his past aside and can’t always control those impulses (e.g. when he overdid it in knocking Ven around later on), but my ultimate point is that he does need guidance and purpose, and Xehanort is (for now) the only one who can give him that.

I think it’s also worth mentioning that, even should Vanitas be redeemed canonly, I don’t think he’ll necessarily join up with Sora and the gang as someone with entirely pure interests. I imagine him as more of the lone wolf who acts on his own the vast majority of the time, only grudgingly teaming up when necessary, and who’s really more of a neutral force than strictly a “good guy.”

AND THEN there’s the possibility that Vanitas might die in KH3, but be taken back into Ven’s heart and accept it, and thus be “redeemed” that way.

And also, how would you ever write/how do you picture pre-split Ven’s characterization?

Let me start by saying that I’m avoiding Union X spoilers like the plague, so I’m not taking that into account (on top of the fact that my thoughts on that are VERY COMPLICATED RN) so this conjecture is based entirely on what little we were shown in BBS.

I actually haven’t written Xehanort-era!Ven before, which admittedly surprises even me?? lol. But I’ve thought about it regardless, and I don’t imagine there was that much of a difference between Xehanort-Ven and Eraqus-Ven. I don’t want to use the “Vanitas’ birth” scene as a sole basis for Ven’s personality at the time; it was an extreme situation and Ven’s reaction – fear – was normal, so I don’t really like when people assume he was timid or “pessimistic.” If you took the scene of Eraqus and Ven from the end of BBS out of context, that could give the same impression. The fact that Ven stood up to Xehanort in his own way by refusing to give into darkness – blatantly disobeying his master’s orders – says he had a good sense of right and wrong back then just as he does under Eraqus. Xehanort even describes Ven when he met him as being “too benign” in his reports.

BUT moving from canon evidence to personal thoughts, I imagine Ven was probably more reserved under Xehanort. He probably didn’t have any real friends other than people he might have talked to in passing (assuming Xehanort traveled with him), meaning the majority of his interactions were with Xehanort, who obviously isn’t the most loving teacher, so I picture Ven being quieter and not quite as excitable since Xehanort wouldn’t have responded very enthusiastically to the kind of social butterfly personality that Ven has later. I also like to think he was happy with Xehanort (that flashback scene notwithstanding), but I also headcanon that Ven was an orphan prior, so for an adult take him in and give him an important role and so much attention (even if it wasn’t affectionate) would be kind of a big deal.

Plus he would have been curious about everything outside of his homeworld, so he would have asked a lot of questions, and since Xehanort holds intelligence in such high esteem, I can picture him taking the time to explain and pass on even some irrelevant knowledge, which again would make Ven feel respected and important. And that could have then led to Ven doing everything he could to respect and please Xehanort in return (again, that one flashback notwithstanding, since his morals/fear were called into question), so I also figure Ven probably tried to be as well-behaved as possible and mimic Xehanort’s behavior to a degree, reinforcing the idea that he wasn’t as talkative or prone to getting excited over everything at the drop of a hat as he is in BBS.

….THAT WAS SUPER LONG, SORRY. And I hope that rambling made some sense?? lol. Thank you for the questions, though, it’s fun to think about. :D