#//;i've seen a lot of people in this fandom throw the term atound

[md-confessions]

Every time someone in this fandom says something along "x and x trauma bonded over…" I audibly say "yikes!" to myself… it's a reminder of how the term has almost lost its original meaning now. For those who don't know—

Trauma bonding is: a connection between an abusive person and the individual they abuse.

Trauma bonding is not: bonding over similar trauma.

—🫀

adding into this: there are seven stages of trauma bonding,

love bombing. a manipulation tactic in which the abuser excessively flatters and praises in order to gain the victim's trust.

trust and dependency. after the love bombing, a sense of trust begins to bloom, making it seem like the abuser and the victim have a bond.

criticism. the abuser starts to excessively criticize the victim, creating a hostile environment of constant devaluation.

gaslighting. the abuser denies or "twists" events, aiding to make the victim question their perception of reality, memory or sanity. note that gaslighting is intentional.

addiction. the victim gets emotionally addicted to the reinforcement that comes after the abuse. see: love bombing.

loss of self. the victim loses their sense of self and may feel out of touch with their own desires, opinions and boundaries.

resignation and submission. the victim gives in to the abuser.

please don't use the term incorrectly. trauma bonding is awful and shouldn't be seen as a good thing.

i may be incorrect on some definitions. please feel free to correct me if that is the case.