#// sorry the response is short u can totally expand on it if u want
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ignitesthestxrs · 7 years ago
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Hello again, I'm the one who asked if there was any chance of you writing some fluff. Sorry for the ask it wasn't supposed to come off as unappreciative or anything and I just wanted to say that I think you're a very talented writer and I enjoy reading all of your work. Also I apologise if calling you sweetie made you uncomfortable it's just a term I call everyone so there was no harm intended there. Sorry again for the ask and as I said previously I love all your writing
oh dude no okay im about to get Into some feelings and shit here because pretty much the last thing i wanna do with 99% of the asks i get is make people feel bad about having asked me shit. it is an ask box! that is what it is there for!
ur question unfortunately i think got caught in the middle of me being pressed at some other anon and my discomfort with the pet name thing, but asking if i could write some fluff was totally innocent and i took it in the spirit with which it was meant, so don’t stress.
what i was trying to do in my response was sort of address not just ur question, but also give a sort of reason behind it. tbh usually when i get an ask when i know my answer is going to be a straight negative i usually uuuuh ignore it for pretty much this reason, because i don’t wanna make people feel bad!
but i guess i have been in an explainy mood lately and i also just like to talk about....writing and my thoughts on what im working on and why, so in giving you a two paragraph negative response, i can definitely see why you’d be like OH NO I DID A BAD. but you did not do a bad, i just seized ur ask as an opportunity to expand on some general comments i have been making about genre and fic lately, and also because i genuinely don’t want people to be hanging out waiting for stuff that i don’t feel i’m likely to be able to deliver.
as for the pet name thing, i definitely get it. it’s ur Thing, and knowing now where it comes from i’m like oh yeah sweet deal nice buddy that’s cute! doesn’t bother me at all.
unfortunately, the internet is...the internet and i have just over a decade’s worth of random star wars dudes and condescending strangers and people who get very attached to me very fast and hit up my inbox and replies with details of the mangay porn they’re into. 
SO that is why it makes me uncomfortable - you’re fine! it’s not you, which is why i made more a general post about it, because it does happen semi-regularly. it is just a thing that has become associated with Bad Times on the internet for Hannah with me - that appearance of a sudden jump into excessive familiarity is pretty jarring and rings ten different alarm bells for me, even though in this case you were the eleventh and totes fine bell.
ANYWAY long story short it’s good ur good so please please please don’t stress about it. that’s so many sorries in one ask and i wanna say like. go easier on yourself. situations like this, you don’t need to dive right in with the self-flagellation, it’s always okay to just like, ask about a situation. i get this a lot whenever i respond to something with a disagreement and im always sad about being this terrible mcbadhuge ogre. 
finding that line between drawing my boundaries or otherwise letting someone down without also appearing as a giant rage beast is a delicate art, and one that i know i definitely don’t have down (and probs will never nail tbh). but give yourself a little more kindness in these situations okay, u don’t need to be so ready to hurl yourself off a metaphorical cliff i promise
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floweringthewords · 7 years ago
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A Father’s Gift.
It’s late but it’s long!! A little Father’s day inspired one shot
~C
I never knew what to be more happy about in the mornings: the sound of soft gurgling and cooing, or complete silence, with only the curtains softly swaying on the wind from the open window.
As long as it wasn’t crying, I couldn’t really complain.
Stretching out and poking an eye open at the crib across from me, I feel the smile form on my face at the site of Stella sitting patiently as she stares me. “Morning, beautiful,” I yawn, getting up to pull on a shirt over my sweaty torso even though I’d probably be showering later anyway. It was unheard of to go one day without one during the summers in Arizona.
I scoop Stella out of her little prison and kiss her head, cradling her over my shoulder and smiling at her mostly dry diaper. “Well aren’t I lucky?” I muse as I raise her over my head, her lips parting in a small gasp from the height. Chuckling, I jostle her to ease her fear and her laugh fills the room.
Making my way down to the kitchen with her, I get her in her booster seat as I sigh, opening the refrigerator and taking in the cool air before taking out her serving of baby mush. Maybe I’d keep being lucky and she’d actually eat it without making a fuss.
I open up the small cup and sit across from her whilst picking up her mini spoon and plopping my half-awake face in my hand. Almost instantly, she made that face that indicated she was ready to start wailing when tempted. 
“Come on, do it for daddy,” I coo, trying to sound at least a bit enthusiastic about the gunk they passed off as food.
Sure enough, she began to grimace and wriggle in her seat the closer I brought the spoon to her mouth.
Huffing, I lower it as her bottom lip puckers. “I’ll give you peanut butter after,” I mutter as if I could reason with her. 
“C’mon, Stell,” I sigh. Her hands flail when I try to maneuver the baby food to her lips because she simply wasn’t having it.
“Fine,” I grumble in defeat, standing to get the box of animal crackers. I could probably feed a cat easier than I could her. 
I let her nibble and drool on her cookies while I make myself something quick and easy. My realm of knowledge didn’t expand much beyond omelets and pancakes and anything that could be fried.
Flipping through unopened mail as I scarfed down my eggs, I pause at the one that says water bill.
Crap. I still had to pay that.
With a sigh, I drop the envelope by my plate and pull out my phone, hoping the late charges weren’t too much. It was a lot harder to remember things now that I was the one taking care of it all. It’s been a while since I had all responsibility fall on me.
Then again, everything’s been slightly more difficult ever since- My phone began to chime in my hand and I answer as my mother’s name takes up the screen.
“Hey, ma.”
“Sweets, how are you?”
That question was harder, too. 
“I’m good, just feeding Stella,” I mumble, grabbing a paper towel to wipe the dissolved cookie crumbs off her chin.
“Were you still going to come over later?”
“Uhh, yeah,” I answer, remembering last minute the promise I made to bring Stella over to see her. I also remembered how she didn’t have any clean clothes. And how I probably need to avoid using so much water to make up for this month. “Just need to do some laundry.”
My mother clicks her tongue. “You know you can just bring it right over and I’ll get it done for you. I haven’t seen my little Stell!”
“It’s not a lot,” I lie, already grabbing my keys and looking for my shoes to head over to the Laundromat. Where was my bag of quarters?
“Just don’t be too long,” my mom tuts me. “I was going to make us a nice lunch.”
“I’ll be there at 1.”
“One?!”
“Bye!” I hang up before she could argue and rush to gather all of Stella’s onesies and put on her shoes, taking her out the door with the clothes she had on. It was clean enough.
~
I got to the Laundromat in under ten minutes and park, getting Stella out of her booster seat with the diaper bag filed with both her and my clothing flung over my shoulder. Pausing for a moment as my eyes land on a long legged blonde in tights, I try to make eye contact and smile, but she was too focused on her phone to even give me a second glance so I merely watch her walk away with a groan. It had seriously been too long. I need to find a onesie for Stell somewhere that said, “No, really, my daddy’s single. Go ahead, ask for his number.”
I grabbed the empty laundry basket with my other hand and walk in, the soft bell ringing over the door. I place the bag on top of the first free washer I could find and sit Stella beside it. She observes as I shuffle through the bag like a maniac and yank out her whites, tossing them in the machine and inserting my quarters. 
Once I heard the water start to run, I take a second to exhale. Something else I forgot to do these days.
I listen as women and kids around me chatter and the machines run. One girl was twirling a coin on the floor and watching it spin, while another boy played a video game. 
I liked the sound of the ruckus. It helped fill the recent quiet in my life.
After playing with Stella and holding her hands as she giggled and danced on top of the rumbling washer, I take the first load out and rest Stell on my shoulder while I put it in the dryer. She starts whining and I sigh, placing her gently on the ground. She was at the phase of starting to crawl and lean up on things, which made for an already adventurous 7 month old.
Throwing in the next wash, I keep an eye on Stella and watch as she tries to prop herself up on the laundry basket but merely tips it over on top of herself. I laugh despite her whining and place it on top of her so that she was stuck inside. It was a dick dad move, but it was so funny watching her try to remove it.
“I think your laundry is trying to get away.”
I turn at the soft amused voice with a grin, stopping in my tracks at the brown pixie-length haired girl. Her lips were a glossy pink and her eyes shone sweetly as she smiled down at Stella.
“U-Uhhh, yeah, it does that,” I chuckle, flabbergasted.
She lifts the basket with a dimpled smirk. “What’s her name?”
“Oh,” I clear my throat and set her on my shoulder. “This is Stella.”  I run a hand through my hair. “May I ask what’s yours?”
Her rosy lips lift, revealing her straight teeth. “Jodi. And Stella sure is a cute one.”
“Definitely one of the cute ones in this room,” I chime back, hoping to God that was obvious and came off as somewhat smooth.
Jodi giggles, biting her lip. “Uhm, so what’s yours?”
“Oh, right,” I mutter, laughing and holding out my hand awkwardly as I bent down to scoop up Stella with the other. She was my best bet right now. “I’m John.”
“Nice to meet you, John,” she muses with a warm smile. “Sorry I totally like zoned in on your baby. I never see a lot of dads come in here with their daughters and it’s kind of adorable.”
My stomach does a flustered flip and I give her a crooked grin. “I’m glad you think so. I’ve kind of been out of the game, you know, since shirts with puke on it aren’t much of a lady killer.”
She laughs, her small nose crinkling in a cute way that makes my heart go haywire. 
“I’d beg to differ,” she hums, making a face at Stella, who couldn’t take her eyes off of her either.
I rub my palm on the side of my jeans and lick my lips. “Could I get a statement? Because everyone I know thinks I have no chance and that I’m gonna die a widow.”
Jodi raises her eyes to me as she raises her brow. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Yeah?” I chuckle, letting Stella tug at my hair.
“Yeah..you can die a widow and a good father.”
“Ouch,” I say with a smirk at her playful giggle, knowing she was kidding and hoping that was a good sign.
We talked for a while longer as we finished our laundry (she brought her next load closer so I could hear her), and I had the freshly warm clothes folded inside the basket while I was about to put in my last wash.
“So is it safe to say we’ll talk again?” I muse, folding one of my shirts down while Stella gurgled and chewed on her downy-scented blanket.
Jodi looks over at me from her pile of folded clothes – which she was way better at doing – and smiles. “I hope so. You’re really sweet. And I don’t think I’d be able to keep away from your little gumdrop anyway.”
I chuckle as pick Stella up from her spot on top of the clean clothes in the basket. Was I a horrible dad for using his child as a woman magnet? It had yet to be seen.
“Are you doing anything later?” she asks me, with a bit of a curious tone to her voice. Fuck, was I just imagining it but was that look…did she want me? “D-dada,” Stella whines, twisting in my arms and I put her back down like she wanted. Swallowing, I force myself to look at my watch, knowing I was well past late to my mother’s. “Unfortunately, yes. But do you maybe want to get coffee tomorrow? Or you can get a try of my homemade instant brewed coffee.” I clear my throat. “Y’know if you want.”
Jodi laughs. “Hmm. I’d like that.”
I feel my chest swell with victory, but almost instantly it’s clouded over by doubt. Was Jodi saying yes to getting coffee or coming over and me making it?
She fusses with her short waves for a moment and smiles, pointing her chin. “Looks like the next load is ready to go in.”
My brows furrow and I look behind me, where Stella was propping herself up against an open machine on top of the basket. I quickly tear her away, cursing under my breath.
“Th-Thanks,” I stammer, still unsure of where this would lead.
“So, coffee in the morning tomorrow?” she muses, raising an eyebrow.
“Definitely.”
“Great,” she giggles. Shutting closed the washer and picking up her basket, she makes her way around to my side, cups my jaw with her hand, and presses her lips against mine. “Can’t wait to try it.”
I watch in astonishment as she walks away, her hips swaying and tossing a look over shoulder, pure sultry and out of nowhere.
Fuck.
a year later
“Fuck,” I pant, tossing my head back as my stomach pangs. My forehead was damp with sweat and I had to grip the sheets to keep from yanking on her hair or her whole body on top of me.
“Does it feel good?” she hums by my ear, nipping at it teasingly. Her hand moves swiftly but slowly and somehow knew every single way of making me twitch.
“Please, baby,” I groan as I picture her hot mouth around me. “I-f-fuck I need you.”
"Yeah?" she whispers, running her lips down my neck and turning me into her property. I no longer had any say what she did to me when her heavenly mouth reached my throat.
I squeeze my eyes shut as her strokes get faster. My jaw goes slack and a soft, choked sound comes out, grunting as she guides me closer to my peak. 
"P-Please," I breathe helplessly. "I need to be inside you."
She moans, almost instantly straddling me and sinking down. I hiss from the pure bliss of her envelope of heat. Her face flushes as she rides me, eyes closed and her long lashes brushing against her cheeks. 
My hands rest on her bare back as I press closer, bucking my hips up to watch her bounce further. She moans gratefully and throws her head back while I feel the last bit of self restraint start to leave me and-
I hear the soft wail from the next room, the both of us freezing. 
"J-Just give her a sec-" I muffle, hoping maybe she would settle back in and calm herself. 
"D-Daddy!"
Jodi smiles sympathetically before kissing my cheek and climbing off of me. I fumble for my boxers and rush into the room, hoping it wasn't too obvious that my daughter would question what was in my underwear.
Walking into the room, her tormented face as she cried for me was enough to make my chest ache and instantly frown. 
I scoop her out of her crib and sigh, holding her to my neck. "Baby, what's wrong?"
"I hab a b-bad dream," she sniffles, clinging to me tightly. I wince and rub her back as she cries onto my bare shoulders. Her warm tears against my skin were enough to cause a knot in my throat. I hated seeing her like this and I've never seen her like this since she was a baby.
"Shhh, okay, it's okay, sweetheart, I'm right here," I murmur softly in hopes to comfort her. I rock her gently back and forth, remembering how that was always soothing for her. "Daddy's here."
She sniffs and stays quiet, her heaving and breathing slowing down as she pulls back to rub her eyes. I purse my lips and tuck her hair back.
"D'you want Jojo to come tuck you into sleep?" I ask. Her mouth instantly pulls into a deep frown as she nods, her pout quivering once more and hiding in my chest. 
I kiss her forehead repeatedly, just wanting to heal her pain. I saw it in her eyes, I saw it all over again what I couldn't do for her mother and it made me feel like I was drowning. 
How do I explain to my heart that she's still gone? 
I feel a hand on my shoulder and swallow, turning bravely with the tears in my eyes. Jodi's face falls slightly, but she keeps the front for Stella.
"Hey, gumdrop," she says in her coaxing voice, smiling and cooing. "C'mere sweetie. I've got you." 
She reaches for Jodi and I let her take her from me, letting her work her magic as I go back to to the room to catch my breath. I saw her image as clear as day and it clouded all other thoughts. Bright colored short hair and innocent dimples and freckles were replaced by black hair and blue irises and her fingers between mine. 
Jodi comes into the room a few moments later, finding me curled up at the edge of the bed. She sits beside me, the tips of her fingers running along my back as she rests her chin by my neck. “She’s fast asleep.”
I give a small smile, reaching tiredly for her hand and kissing her palm. “How do I manage without you?”
“You don’t.” Her voice was matter of fact, but still gentle and sweet. We stay silent until she rubs her nose against the back of my neck.
"You know you can talk about it with me," she whispers. "It doesn't matter how many times it takes for you to cope with it." 
I swallow the lump in my throat, thick with angst and all too familiar sorrow. Shaking my head, I let the feel of her breath on my skin calm me. “We had our whole lives planned out. We were so happy and then it just- i-it all got taken away.”
My voice and shoulders equally began to shake and her arms wrap around me, cooling the warm dampness of my body. I could feel my chest start to tighten as my vision blurred the same way my thoughts clouded with the vivid memory of her crying out in pain. I looked on helplessly as she stared at me, eyes terrified. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could have known that could have prepared me.
“Not all of it,” Jodi murmurs, bringing me back to the here and now. “You got Stella. She was her gift to you to help you keep going. She’d want you to. She wouldn’t want you to feel like this.”
I bite my lip and run my hands through my hair. “It’s so hard. Even when I’m…I’m the happiest I’ve ever been but I still get these waves of missing her.” “That’s understandable, John,” she croons. “You lost someone. I can only imagine that someone being your everything.”
Taking a deep breath, I turn to her and press my lips against her curled hand. “You don’t know how much I…thank you for always being so patient with me. I-I just don’t ever want you to think that I don’t love you with all my being because I still think about her.”
Her brown eyes melt like chocolate as her lips tilt upward. “You love me?”
“As much as my little Stella does,” I chuckle, pulling her close and resting my face in her hair. “Times a dozen.”
She giggles and my heart skips a beat as she looks up at me, her lids hooded. “And I love you,” she murmurs. “And I know a part of you will always love and miss her and have a part of your heart. I’m more than happy to help repair the broken parts that left behind.”
I cup her face, kissing her deeply with all that was left of my little lonely heart. With each breath I took in, I felt all of her running through me, surrounding me from her vanilla scent to the taste of her lips. Jodi grins and wraps her arms around my neck, my own soon following suit around her waist. Her kiss always felt so different from my wife’s. There were subtle differences that set them worlds apart, like how Isabelle would kiss me soft and purse her lips, while Jodi’s was always parted and inviting, keeping herself open to me. Isabelle held me like she never wanted to let go, while Jodi clung to me like she never needed to let go. They both loved me so different. And though I knew I would always miss Isabelle’s way, nothing could replace the love I’d found. But it was still that same kind of love all in the same.
four years later
Glasses clinked all around the room while people yelled across tables, fighting about making toasts. All I could do was laugh as I hold mine up, my other hand holding a small hand.
“Daddy, why are they so loud,” Stella shouts over the ruckus, scrunching her face up.
I look down at her with a chuckle. “’Cause they’re idiots-”
“They’re just excited, gumdrop,” Jodi’s voice answers, returning to the table with her juice box and a plate of food. Stella stares at it with a gasp, instantly reaching for the gourmet ‘kids meal’ fries.
“I still can’t believe Tim finally tied the knot,” I muse as I look on to them sitting at the table, murmuring to each other and looking happy as can be. I faintly remember my first wedding and how Isabelle and I did the same, never paying any mind to anyone else while we whispered sweet nothings. It felt like decades ago.
“I’m just surprised that he was the first,” Jodi says as she props Stella into her lap, munching quietly away at the fries and chicken tender appetizers. “Jared still has yet to pop the question.”
I laugh. “I’ve been telling him he better hurry up before someone else asks for him.”
Jodi scoffs. “Yeah right. If anything, Tessa’s gonna catch that bouquet tonight and be the one to ask.”
“Or someone beats him to the punch,” I imply cleverly, my hearts pounding and the weight in my pocket heavier as I remind myself I couldn’t yet. I didn’t want to steal Tim’s thunder.
Finally, the crowd settles for Eric to make a toast and we all listen on to the ridiculous jokes and memories of our friends, knowing that they’d already been together long enough to know everything about each other. I look over at Jodi and Stella, both of them in similar soft pink dresses and white flowers in their hair.
My heart flutters and I feel a wave of nostalgia and serenity. I’d never felt more grateful to have what I have now. Despite what I lost, I gained a family and a new piece of my heart. I knew Isabelle would have wanted me to have this again. She gave me this. I knew she was looking over me and Stella and knowing that we deserved Jodi.
“Jojo, daddy’s staring at you again,” Stell giggles, outing me blindly.
She looks over with a smile and rests her hand on the table. “Is that so?”
I’m about to respond when Jared stands after the applause, next in line to make his ribs at Tim and Ashley. Jodi smirks and looks knowingly at me. “Oooh, looks like this is it,” she teases.
“Oh I don’t think so.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because,” I chuckle and reach over, brushing my finger over her knuckles.
“You’re next.”
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lavellcn-blog · 7 years ago
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“Wow, you look even worse than I feel.”
heatwave starter sentences 
@kniifedad
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     “Gee, thanks. Women sure do love to hear that. Especially after just defeatin’ an actual High Dragon.”
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outsidersunsets-blog · 8 years ago
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Trove Bot
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