#// rip lemon dad

[shiroi---kumo]

Help I love him. Sitruuna Shokki (see-true-nah show-key) || Lemon Shock

He's Tuli's husband and Sinfonia's father. He's a member of the royal knights and friends with Taivas. He died in the war with Windaria when Sinfonia was very young so Sinfonia has almost no memories of him, but Sitruuna loved his wife and son so very much.

Sitruuna is the one who named Sinfonia.

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS *  some of my favorite quotes from the show, adjust as necessary

his chops are too righteous!

it’s evil. it’s diabolical. it’s lemon scented!

lord knows i’ve tried.

two words. na. chos.

yeah, i get called that a lot.

it's just a cruel reminder that i'm single and likely to remain that way forever.

what doesn't kill you usually succeeds in the second attempt.

stupidity isn't a virus, but it sure is spreading like one.

goodbye everyone, i’ll remember you all in therapy.

don't you have to be stupid somewhere else?

i used to have a kidney stone. everything passes eventually.

you can't fool me. i listen to public radio!

stop it, [name], you're scaring him!

do instruments of torture count?

give to the children's fund? what have the children ever done for me?

this is not your average, everyday darkness. this is... advanced darkness.

what's better than serving up smiles?

i guess i'm not wearing any pants today.

did you smell it? that smell. a kind of smelly smell. the smelly smell that smells… smelly.

wake me up when i care.

look at all the hip, young people eating salads!

he was so ugly that everyone died.

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time!

well, the way i see it, there are three possibilites.

hibernation is the opposite of beauty sleep.

that’s it mister! you just lost your brain privileges!

good people don’t rip other people’s arms off.

well, we lost our car again.

pull your pants up. we’re going home.

you were right. fighting is for children.

i’m a good noodle!

remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.

your ceiling is talking to me!

we don’t need television.

the inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.

i’ll have you know i stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden and i only cried for twenty minutes.

hey, if i close my eyes, it doesn’t seem so dark.

is mayonnaise an instrument?

those are some big words. i’ve never heard you use them before.

my vocabulary is infinitely expanding.

we destroyed your most prized possession.

we shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.

let’s see, a five letter word for happiness. money.

can i have everybody’s attention?

i have to use the bathroom.

do you know what day today is?

could you not stand so close? you’re making me claustrophobic.

i used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.

are they laughing at us?

if you can’t do the time, don’t do the crime.

he needs us now more than ever.

what is today, but yesterday’s tomorrow?

ice is just a myth.

this working out thing isn’t working out.

i can’t see my forehead.

i have a good idea, and no one else thinks so.

look at you, so young and happy.

i prefer to be an idiot!

sounds like a pretty good deal to me, what do you say?

don’t be sad, buddy. turn that frown upside down!

i’m ugly and i’m proud!

good! say it louder!

i can’t do it! i can’t be away from my best friend!

i need you! i can’t handle this myself!

i’m just going on vacation for a few days.

i was kinda hoping that you come along with us…

enjoy the cake everybody!

now we never have to be apart, even when we’re not together.

this is great. see you forever!

i have to keep you safe while i get some work done!

maybe he doesn’t like us.

no, are you kidding?

i propose a toast to new friends!

i guess i’ll have to move in back with my mom and dad.

he’s a thief. look at the lust in his eye…

why can’t you just accept our friendship?

[sweetlemongrove]

Angsty Shit, Lemon's Version

Hey so remeber when I accidentally deleted my whole blog? Yeeaaaaaah, well I found some of my old content on Hammy's (@capitalisticveins) blog so I wanted to repost it here

So yeah, enjoy some sad

📼Angel gets mugged/drops their engagement ring and can’t get it back. They feel horrible having to confess it to David, guilty for losing it for both the money and work he put in to picking it out 

📼Asher gets flashbacks from his time during the Inversion

📼Milo gets a phone call/visit from his dad

📼Aaron has been spending way too much time at the office. A suspicious amount.

📼Ollie gets sick. Really sick. Needs hospitalization level sick. 

📼The usually (flirty) physically affectionate Gavin stops being so cuddly and touchy towards Freelancer, for supposedly no reason. 

📼Lasko gets stood up

📼Cutie gets help they need in order to improve as a partner. Alas, Geordi has moved on, and is extraordinarily happy with his new one, another telepath who doesn’t constantly read his mind 

📼Kody comes back. 

📼Sam gets a visit from Alexis. Darlin is about to rip her head off. 

📼Lovely cries over the lose of their powers. (Same thing with the Milo shifting episode with no happy ending)

Welp that's all for today folks. I'm going to try and either find/remake my old posts/writing but please feel free (and please do) send in requests or ideas for me. Help me get back in the swing of things. Thank you so much :)

Edit: I'd also like to add that Hammy wrote Lovely's angst idea as a fic! Go check it out!

[lisbeth-kk]

The May prompts from @calaisreno continues! Today's prompt : box

Chapter 2 of The Luckiest Girl in the World.

Summary: John bans Rosie's teddy bear from dining with them, which sends the toddler into a tantrum of sherlockian proportions. Cunning women to the rescue.

Two Years Old

The teddy bear Mum had bought me before I was born, was my favourite plushie. That is to say, my favourite plushie to toss around and force to do things a plushie isn’t supposed to be forced to do. Eating, for example. Dad forbade me to bring him to the table after I’d smeared his face with Bolognese sauce. To this day, it’s still visible stains of tomato sauce on Ted’s face.

My temper as a toddler, was apparently just as fierce as Dad’s according to Sherlock, the man I named Lock when I was around 18 months old. The tantrums I pulled when Ted was banned from the kitchen table, could be heard all the way down to 221A and Nana.

“Are you two trying to kill my goddaughter?” she scoffed when she came up to investigate.

“Of course not, Hudders. I don’t commit crimes, I solve them,” Sherlock retorted.

Nana was totally unfazed by this statement, muttering something about a stolen ashtray, before she fussed over me, trying to calm me down. She was partly successful and sat down beside me with Ted in her lap, letting him watch me eat my fish fingers and carrots, but denying me to feed him. I’ve been told I pouted quite a lot during the meal.

***

My second godmother, Molly Hooper, came to visit the next day, bearing gifts. Nana had evidently sought her out for advice.

“It’s not her birthday yet, Molly,” Dad complained, not wanting me to be more spoiled than I already was.

“I know that,” Molly said affronted. “It’s not for Rosie, but for Ted.”

“You bought gifts for a stuffed animal?” Sherlock inquired astounded by this curious gesture.

“I did. Do you want to open it for him, Rosie?” Molly asked me.

I didn’t need any persuasion and ripped the gift paper to shreds in no time. Inside the box was a soft drawstring bag, and inside the bag were a variety of lively coloured foods made of plastic. Corn, carrot, cod, cutlet, grapes, potato, sausage, broccoli, cauliflower, tomato, pear, lemon and two bananas.

“Food for Ted!” Molly announced and looked expectantly at me along with Dad and Sherlock.

I beamed at her and gave her a tight hug, before I fetched Ted to let him look at all the delicacies he could look forward to at dinner that night.

Even Sherlock admitted that Molly was quite the genius after that clever purchase.

“I only surround myself with proper intelligent people,” he told Dad when he pointed it out.

“High praise, Sherlock,” Dad teased him.

“Don’t push your luck, John,” Sherlock huffed, but I heard the smile in his voice.

This can also be read on AO3

Tagging you guys in the replies, cause the tagging is failing at the moment.

[whatabunchofalices]

some eah fun facts from shannon hale’s books!

maddie takes chemythstry, riddling and storytelling 101 (she takes more classes but these were the ones mentioned!)

raven takes general villainy, home evilnomics, poison fruit theory, history of evil spells, kingdom mismanagement and music

when raven was younger her mother would tell her stories about the marsh king, the boogeyman, the scissorman, the wendigo, hungry witches, angry tigers and wicked sorcerers

when maddie is sad she’s hops arounds because who can be sad while hopping?

maddie has a flag language with her father (he spells out messages with flags). the mad hatter can also speak riddlish with flags

one of the cards the queen of hearts gave lizzie said “above all else, avoid these things: vats of poison, Jabberwocks, paper cuts in fingertips and Concern For Others. If ever you detect Concern For Others squirming into you, shout at people till the feeling goes away. Or the people do.”

lizzie throws hedgehogs at people but mostly she uses them for croquet (don’t worry wonderland hedgehogs are strong and are meant to be able to handle such activities)

lizzie carries around a butter knife with a heart engraved on the handle

lizzie can play the dulcimer

daring is a katy fairy fan (katy perry)

cupid loves when hunter does that hero pose where he rips off his shirt

cedar’s biggest fears are woodpeckers, wood-chippers, woodchucks, axes, fires, termites, never turning real, being stuck in a wooden body with an honesty curse forever, disappointing her dad and letting her friends down

apples’s ringtone is “you don’t know you’re charming” by one reflection (one direction)

apple always keeps a basket of candy and coins on her balcony

when hanging up on the phone instead of saying goodbye they say “the end”

there is a zip line inside the sleeping beauty palace

dexter bites his nails when he’s nervous (in this case he did it while thinking about his unknown destiny)

the charming family plays a game called “bag” which is similar to tag but when you get tagged the person who was “it” puts you in a bag and drags you around.

during summers lizzie and kitty are the only students to stay at eah. the white queen also stays

apple white has an one reflection (one direction) action figure collection

while maddie and lizzie are kitty’s friends, cedar is kitty’s “almost-friend”

ashlynn smells like a mix of cypress tree, lily of the valley, lemon cleaning soap, and the crinkly paper that lines new shoe boxes (according to kitty)

kitty also said that hunter smells like wood smoke, fir tree shavings, and soy turkey patties

raven has a tailor quick (taylor swift) shirt

[richeeduvie]

thinking about high or drunk kendall making a move on baby in logan au that he really can’t play off as just being friendly or whatever

maybe logan or roman sees it

"You're drunk, Ken-that...I can't um...I don't think I excuse that but you're drunk. You're not thinking right. That's it. That will be it, let's get you out of he-"

Baby's shaky. There's something in her that's twenty years younger and so terrified, but there's a need to comfort him, excuse Kendall. Maybe that's what is twenty years younger - or maybe that's just her. It grew with her, hidden away.

He tried to kiss her.

"Yeah...I-I-I'm so fucking sorry, that was-I didn't...I did-"

"I'm telling, Dad. Good fucking luck, fucker."

Their heads snap to Roman. His words sounded smiley, but his brows are harsh with the vein along is forehead. He walks quickly, arms nearly straight.

"Fuck. Roman. Roman. Ro-"

"He's going to go Greek and rip your cock off as punishment, squeeze a lemon onto the severed meat and you know what, Ken? You deserve it. Everything that I was sorta on you about and afraid of when I was fifteen? It becomes obvious after three shots? You're losing your touch.

"Roma-"

"Fuck off! Where's Dad?"

"Roman, he's drunk. He knows it was a mistake. He didn't want to-"

"You're a victim as much as you are a monster. Don't talk-get the fuck off me! What are you doi-"

Kendall's pulling at him, holding him back and fighting Roman's own pull and flicks. Slaps to the bicep.

"I didn't mean to. I didn't like it. I didn't-want that to happen. You wanna get Dad into fucking rage and ruins cause of one mistake? He's gonna get angry at her like it was her fault and it wasn't. You can't add shit to this family because of one...one kiss that didn't mean to happen-"

"I can do whatever you want, just like you, apparently."

"Don't tell him, dude-"

Baby's muscles are tight and her heart burns.

"Roman, please. He just-"

"That wasn't your fault, and Dad will know it. Did he try to play it friendly? That attempted makeout? No. I was there. What am I talking about. Kendall is obviously trying to make the guilt virtuous. Good fucking luck, brother."

There's something in Roman that's twenty years younger too, it's what makes him childishly and whiningly fight the hold and pull of Kendall before walking quick to find Logan.

Kendall doesn't deserve another point in time where he does this to them, even if she isn't his anymore. Cause she's always his, and Dad will fix it. And he really just wants to see Kendall shit himself, especially after that sickness in his stomach grew at the sight of that kiss.

It's his body's muscle memory, to be obsessed and perpetually jealous with her. He's never training himself to forget his ways.

[drbtinglecannon]

Taking a second to focus on my favorite background bits of this wonderful beautiful gigantic cast picture by Dresden Douglas (their Tumblr is "dresdoodles" give them some love!!! I did not tag them here so I'm not hitting them with a notification full of my stupid observations haha)

Obviously gotta go to Darius & Eber first. Look at the utter disgust upon Darius' face even touching Hooty (or maybe it's directed at Eber for being willing to bite Hooty), meanwhile Eber is bitebiteclawmaim-ing Hooty but despite the claw marks they seem to be ineffective. I wonder how much of Eber's attacking is for his own safety/curiosity vs trying to save his bestie Darius from the Ick™. They're just my favorite "opposites that are besties for life" duo I could talk about these goobers forever

Skara & Viney (& Puddles)! My girls! They're wearing their Emerald Entrails uniforms! Personally I think they're a cute ship but even platonically I love how different they are yet have become their own little duo within the flyer derby team

THE BATTS *hiss*. Katya & Derwin looking at each other & doing the pose like total cuties, meanwhile Amber is making SUCH a face haha. Did anyone else imagine food fanfic chick from s1ep1 would end up fleshed out & important enough to be part of her own little corner of a massive art piece containing most of the show's cast that's hanging in a gallery dedicated to the show?

Gilbert & Harvey Park and Perry Porter, the Dads. So Perry focusing on work still even in this moment is condemnable honestly, dude is tangled in a coil of Hooty & is like "I need to report on this". Meanwhile Harvey has big watery eyes & Gilbert has a soft smile. I love the detail that Gilbert appears to be carrying Harvey, it matches with him being a construction witch (so probably fit) & also it's a funny reflection to Willow with her looking more like Gilbert & also being the Buff™ friend

Mattholomule & his big bro Steve!! Rip Steve this isn't the first time -- or even second time -- Hooty's taken him out, and it probably won't be the last. I love getting the brothers next to each other, helps show how similar they look. Matty is fairing better than Steve but he seems to be struggling himself. That's fair, boys, Hooty is certainly unpredictable

Grandma lesbians made it, good for them

You know that Gwen&Dell are looking at how happy their daughters & grandkids all are, like you know the scene before then is a dream come true kinda soft feeling that they've wanted for their daughters for decades

I love the fond expression on Emira's face looking at Edric, vs the confusion/surprised one on Alador's face. Edric's fine tho look at him he's having fun. Odalia can't even look at her family and is just absolutely scowling, but Kikimora is right beside her so horrible trash women Odalimora canon

You KNOW that Willow fanboy is shouting "WOooOOOooo GO WILLOW" seeing her & Hunter together. I think it's extra funny Boscha is right next to him looking like she's sucked on a lemon with Kat shrugging at Amelia but neither looking surprised by Boscha's antics. (as someone who always hated bos//low it's just such funny staging imo, I know it's probably not that but it's still funny)

[galacticseonghwa]

será una noche inolvidable - chenle profiles

CHENLE and his disciples

CHENLE makes everyone around him rip their hair out, he’s your typical old money (too) rich male species who rides a motorbike. although he hates showing it he actually has a very big heart and gets upset very easily. he has some unknown beef with ricky (it’s really only one sided. but chenle’s a trend follower). he loves music, it’s his back up career path if biking doesn’t work.

now this man, jeno. he may look big and buff and manly but there is not one thought behind those eyes. he’s just tryna get through life man. he loves riding but can’t be bothered making it his lifeline the way chenle has. he relies on the funds the government (chenle) pays him until he’s finished with school. he can be very smart if he actually bothers.

jaemin is somewhat the ‘normal’ friend. he’s a cat dad, but as normal as a cat dad can be. if you mess with his cats (and friends ig) he will, in the nicest way possible, skin you alive and feed you to pigs. he’s a very loving and kind soul who loves attention from anyone and everyone. he’s street smart not book smart.

haechan is a little shit. he loves stirring the pot and seeing the reactions of people. although it may not seem like it he cares very deeply about his friends and family, he would watch the world turn into flames and burn if anyone hurts those he’s closest to. he also loves gaslighting people into believing he’s dating jisung which the younger does not really appreciate.

the youngest in the friend group, jisung. he's in both y/n and chenle's inner circle. he loves joking around with his closest friends, but he's also very serious when it comes to school life, he's the first person anyone in the friend group goes to for hw help. he very much still loves anything space. he loves riding with chenle but doesn't take it as seriously.

yn profile | masterlist | next

TAGLIST — (open!) @sinisxtea @injunnie-lemon @chenlesfavorite

authors note! — chapter one will be released later tonight (7:30 AED)

[dudduk4992]

A beached surfer, part 1

Caleb sighed, looking out onto the beach. It was a perfect day, with not a cloud in the sky, the brilliant yellow sand was teeming with people, talking, sunbaking, playing volleyball, building sandcastles, and splashing in the water. Everywhere he looked, he saw people enjoying the sun.

The hotel next door teamed with tourists, just like it seemed to do every summer when Caleb’s dad sent him here to work at his uncle’s restaurant, “The Seaside Crab”  where Caleb worked during his summers instead of enjoying it like everyone else. It always seemed worse to think about, but when he got there it wasn’t so bad, especially since his uncle actually paid him properly now, and with all the tourism they were reeling in, Caleb could only imagine what his bank account would be looking like. Caleb sighed again,

"Caleb! Stop mucking about and clear some tables!" Caleb heard his big sailor-looking uncle yell from within the confines of the kitchen at the front of the restaurant. Caleb gulped and quickly zoomed around the restaurant, clearing tables one at a time.

As Caleb cleaned up another table, stacking the dishes and wiping at the stains on the table, he resumed his daydreaming position at the large wooden bar, adjacent to a long, tall wall lined with glass windows. As he stared even longer, his eyes stayed in the same position, looking out the window despite hearing the front of the cafe's door jingle.

A shadow shunted his daydreaming; he noticed a tall, blonde, wide figure standing at the bar in his peripheral vision. It took Caleb a moment or two to realise that the stranger was waiting for him. "Could I get an iced tea, two lemons please?" Caleb heard the hunky surfer say in his deep voice. It was none other than the legendary Kanen Ariki. A local legend around Marina Beach. He was the only surfer to catch some huge waves, not to mention his insane popularity. When he wasn’t surfing or partying, he worked as a lifeguard at the beach.

Kanen was Polynesian and only 21, two years older than Caleb- and was fully ripped. Big, buff and covered head to toe in muscle, he had a massive chest with huge, meaty pecs and pink cherry-sized nipples, his thighs and calves enormous, and his abs well defined. His face was wide and handsome with a strong jawline, his eyes bright brown with a cut through his left eyebrow. He had various rings in both ears, as well as a double piercing through his right eyebrow and belly button.

His hair was cut in short curtains and dyed blonde while the roots remained black. The hunk also had some impressive Polynesian tattoos; several bands around his right arm, wrist and leg, as well as some triangles, reaching up to the bottom of his belly button. He wore a blue faded singlet, black board shorts and no shoes.

"I- uh, ohhhh..." Caleb Stuttered, gazing in awe at the surfer, he completely forgot what he was doing as he watched Kanen take a table number and sit down.... right next to where Caleb was cleaning. Was this really happening!? Caleb couldn't believe it!

"Hey man, not to rush you, but my stomach’s telling me it’s time to eat," Kanen said with a laugh, noticing that Caleb was stuck daydreaming for almost ten minutes.

"Oh! sorry!" Caleb yelped. "What can I get you today? we have some specials on, if you’re interested, I can show you what they are..." Caleb trailed off, gazing at the blond hunk's breathtaking abs.

"Uh yeah, I'll just get a club sandwich, extra meat, extra cheese, and double side pickle, please. And two iced teas while you're at it" Kanen says with a wink, his voice filled with that deep swagger many surfers carried.

“Right... right, is there anything else?” Caleb murmured.

“Nope! You’re good to go…” Kanen squinted at Caleb’s name tag. “Caleb.” Kanen looked up with a grin. “Nice to meet you, Caleb.” It took Caleb everything he had not to melt at the surfer hunk’s words.

“That… that should be ready soon sir.” Caleb piped, turning and hurrying over to the counter. As he did, he quickly scribbled the order on a piece of paper. However, what Caleb didn’t realize was that he had scribbled Kanen's order underneath a previous order that had come and gone, a family meal in fact. Caleb blindly handed his uncle the order without noticing and went back to clearing tables and taking more orders, sneaking glancing at Kanen when he could. Ten minutes passed as Caleb continued to work, occasionally glancing up at Kanen while he did.

Caleb eventually began to zone back into his work, prioritizing his tasks, rather than gazing at Kanen. Caleb was in the middle of clearing a recently emptied table when he heard someone approach him from behind. He turned around and found himself staring at Kanen, who stood there with a smile on his face.

"Hey there again." Kanen greeted him. "Sorry to bother you, Caleb- but I was just wondering if you knew when my food would be ready? It’s been nearly fifteen minutes." Kanen said with an innocent smile.

Caleb felt his eyes widen. He hadn't realized how much time had passed since he took Kanen's order. "Oh- uh, lemme go check for you." Caleb said quickly as he rushed off to the counter, where his uncle was busy cooking.

"Hey, Uncle Finn!" Caleb gasped. "A customer asked when his food would be out, he's been waiting for fifteen minutes."

"Well, I sure as hell won't be able to figure out his meal if you don't tell me what it is!" Uncle Finn grunted back as he chopped the head off a fish.

"Uhh... '1 club sandwich, double pickle and extra everything' plus two ice teas... For Kanen Ariki." Caleb said aloud, feeling a little embarrassed by the situation.

Uncle Finn glanced across the orders above his head and frowned. "Son, I dunno what you did wrong but I don't have that order here." He muttered. "I DO have an order for one Kanen Ariki, and it does have that sandwich and those ice teas, but there's more than what you said."

Before Caleb could say a word, his uncle placed a full tray on the bench, and it was indeed not what Kanen had ordered; 2 extra large burgers and sides of chips, a large panini, a regular garden salad, A T-bone steak, 2 plates of fish and chips, A regular lasagna, a basket of garlic bread- and of course, the two ice teas and the club sandwich to top it all off.

"Oh Caleb..." Uncle Finn leaned on the counter and covered his eyes. "How did you mess this up." he looked up with a tired smile. "You truly are one of a kind, lad."

Caleb felt himself grow pale as he realized he had messed up.

"I- I'm so sorry..." Caleb murmured, and the boy felt his face go from pale to beet red.

Uncle Finn chuckled and placed a hand over his shoulder. "Don't worry about it kid. I know you'll do better next time, you always do. Just apologize and tell the guy there was a mixup and give him the things he ordered- bring the rest back to me so I can bin it."

Caleb nodded silently and took the tray of food, turning on one heel and quickly made his way across the restaurant. As he approached Kanen's table, he found Kanen smiling at him, but his smile quickly turned to confusion as Caleb set the tray down on the table.

"Hey bro... I didn't order all of this?" he said, confused.

"No you didn't." Caleb confirmed, avoiding eye contact. "I- uh… there was a mixup in the kitchen... and your order got put down with a previous order- but here."

Caleb picked up the plate with the gigantic club sandwich on top. Uncle Finn had used an entire loaf of bread, sliced through the half, and put all of the fixings inside to create the biggest sandwich both Caleb and Kanen had ever seen in their lives.

"W-woah dude... I said club sandwich, not a surfboard panini!" Kanen practically yelped, grinning from ear to ear. "Guess I'm getting my money's worth!" The tanned surfer laughed, a hand resting on his exposed belly. "Seriously dude... thanks for this... you're awesome!" He said. "But I wanted to ask, what's gonna happen to all of this?"

"Uh, I'll probably have to dump it." Caleb replied. "I can't give it to other customers who ordered the same thing. Health code, you know?"

Kanen looked down at the food with a frown. "You can't throw this all away. There's enough food here for a whole family..." he said, gesturing with his hands at the large amount of food in front of him.

"I know." Caleb felt awful, but he really didn't know what else could be done.

"Here, just leave it with me and I'll eat as much of it as I can." Kanen replied with a shrug.

Caleb blinked. "What?"

"It's either that or the garbage disposal, and I hate it when good food is wasted." Kanen grinned. "So yeah, leave it with me."

"Uh... okay, are you sure?" Caleb murmured, placing it all on the table, including the drinks, before picking the empty tray up.

"Yeah man, no worries, I'll see how much I can polish off. Thanks again!" Kanen smiled.

Caleb nodded and left it at that and hurried back to his uncle to give him the tray. When he got to the counter, Uncle Finn was watching Kanen closely. "So he decided to keep all that food huh? Better than chucking it in the bin I say." Uncle Finn said with a chuckle. "He's got one big ass feed ahead of him!"

"Uhh yeah..." Caleb murmured, still blushing as he glanced back to the surfer boy and his massive meal.

***

Kanen wasn't sure if he would even be able to eat this much food. Here, he had arrived for a simple sandwich, and now he had a family-sized feast on top of that. Kanen worked on his original order first, drilling through the club sandwich at a steady pace. The mix of meat, cheese, pickle and lettuce made an explosion of flavour in his mouth as the young stud savoured every bite of the huge sandwich. He ate slowly, enjoying each and every morsel. As he neared the end of his sandwich, Kanen noted that he felt full, his stomach holding its regular curve after a simple meal like this- but his meal was far from over.

"Wow, that was amazing..." Kanen murmured to himself as he took a long sip from his first iced tea, before sighing and wiping his mouth with a napkin. He already felt kinda stuffed though, he thought looking down at his bulging gut.

But there was no time to waste, the food was there, and it needed to be eaten. After he finished the sandwich, Kanen dug into his burger with gusto. The paddy was juicy and fresh, stuck to a slice of melted cheese and accompanied by fresh crisp lettuce, tangy sauce, onions, bacon and tomato. It tasted incredible as he ate it, savouring every bite. With one burger done, the second followed in no time at all. With both now in his steadily growing belly, the young stud took a moment to finish the rest of his first iced tea, sucking down the sweet peach juice like water after a run.

"*BUARRP!*" Kanen belched and blushed as two customers close by glanced at him, Kanen ran a hand over his developing stomach under his singlet, before working on his two sides of chips, each slice of fried potato cooked to perfection as he drowned them in tomato sauce and tore into them ravenously.

The young surfer felt like he could take on the world, his gut was slowly expanding and so full of good food that it felt like he had swallowed a small soccer ball. He had never eaten this much in one sitting before, but he had to admit that he felt great. His muscles were well-fed, and his mind was clear, he felt good, and he was ready to tackle anything that came his way.

With that thought in mind, Kanen worked on his last side of chips and began eating slowly as he watched the people around him. After a few minutes, Kanen moved on his panini. The crust was crisp and the fillings were warm and delicious. The beef was tender and the cheese gooey, the flavors mixing together perfectly. Even though he already felt overly stuffed, Kanen devoured the panini in only a few bites, pausing to take sips from his second iced tea until both the tea and panini were gone.

Kanen burped again, this time not feeling as embarrassed, largely because of how stuffed the surfer stud felt. His slightly bloated muscle gut had expanded substantially, stretching his singlet even further than before as his underbelly dug into the hem of his boardshorts. Kanen knew he wasn't going to be able to fit into his pants for a while.

Now Kanen sat there, stuffed to bursting, yet content. He stared at the remains of his meal; the salad, Steak, double order of fish and chips, basket of garlic bread, and large lasagna, and wondered if he should just leave it there. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. If he did, then he would feel guilty for wasting such a large amount of food, and besides- something about this whole situation he had ended up in felt... good?

In a way eating all this food made Kanen feel amazing. The very idea of pushing the limits of his stomach, even though he was stuffed to the brim made Kanen's body tingle, and the thought of how big his gut would become made him more excited. Kanen took a deep breath and made his decision, he was going to finish every last piece of this food, and then he was going to enjoy a good long rest.

Eager now, Kanen filled a glass of water and downed it in one gulp before he started with the garden salad and garlic bread; The salad was light and refreshing, while the Garlic bread was hot and gooey and crispy. By the time he was done, the surfer was sweating and moaning, his belly was distended so much that it now jutted off of his body a good few inches. He could feel it stretching his singlet further, his gut pushing against the fabric as it grew. it had even begun to slide up due to the great volume of his gut, revealing a slither of his hairless belly.

Steadily running out of steam, Kanen turned his attention to the large steak. Kanen cut the steak into bite sized pieces and began going to work; the meat was tender and juicy, he found after the first mouthful, the juices running down his chin and dropping onto the singlet straining itself around his enormous gut. The steak was served with a side of fries and salad, both of which the hunk was able to finish off with relative ease. Kanen pulled at his boardshorts, which were unbelievably tight now. Kanen burped again, feeling up his tank of a belly, enjoying the fullness and tightness it caused.

He had no doubt that many of the customers in the restaurant were staring at him, especially the ones who had been here since the start and had seen how much food he had consumed. After finishing off the Steak, Kanen felt his gut throbbing now, his abs and stomach muscles burning tight as his belly begged him to stop eating, and that only made him want to eat more.

Kanen realized that if he was gonna get through the remains of the food, he was gonna need more drinks. By some streak of luck, the waiter boy Caleb passed by to clear a table, although Kanen could see that Caleb was also using this opportunity to stare at the surfer's impressive belly.

"Hey... *URP* Caleb?" Kanen spoke up with a long breath.

Caleb turned right around to face him, his cheeks flushed red. Caleb couldn’t belive how huge he had grown!

"Y-Yeah?" Caleb asked nervously, his eyes darting between Kanen's bulging gut and the huge amount of food that was still piled on the table.

"Do you *HIC* think you could grab me two more of those *BUUARP* iced teas?" Kanen asked, resting his hands on his belly.

"Uh... yeah of course," Caleb replied, his voice shaking as he quickly walked over to the kitchen, returning five minutes later with two bottles of iced tea.

"Thanks," Kanen replied with a shy smile.

"No problem... just let me know if you need anything else," Caleb said,  his face growing redder by the second. "I- need to go clear more tables." Caleb rushed off and Kanen couldn't help but laugh to himself. The poor guy looked so flustered, but he didn't blame him. Kanen could only imagine what a sight his gut must be for everyone else.

The fish and chips were by far the hardest to eat, although the battered Cod and chips were crunchy and tasty, they were both dry, and Kanen found himself gulping down a whole iced tea between the two servings. As he polished off the seafood, Kanen felt his belly grow tighter and tighter, it was beginning to push against his waistband as his gut now took up a good portion of his lap. It seemed like he might have to pull down his board shorts if it continued to get any larger.

Kanen had to stop himself from laughing as he marveled at how big his stomach had gotten, he had never been this big before. "Holy shit..." Kanen muttered, looking down at his stomach, which groaned and growled as it struggled to digest the mass amount of food inside. After another glass of water to wash down his throat, the young surfer made his way to his final course, the lasagna.

As he cut into the lasagna, he was surprised to find that it was still warm; the cheese, mince, sauce and pasta sheets melting as he placed the first forkful into his mouth. Kanen had to stifle back a moan as he ate, the taste was incredible. Even though he felt on the brink of bursting point, Kanen devoured the dish with relish, watching his obscenely huge muscle gut creep forward a bit with each delicious, gooey mouthful.

Part of Kanen knew he had eaten past his limit, and yet somehow he was still pushing on, the engorged stud stuffing himself with every ounce of willpower he had. It felt like an eternity before the plate was empty, his gut bloated and stretched beyond its limits, the weight of his belly pressing on his thighs as he sat there. When he was done, Kanen felt like a new man. His belly was stretched to its maximum capacity, obscenely huge and distended, making him look 9 months pregnant. But Kanen was happy with the blissful fullness that came with eating so much food. The weight of everything he had eaten, the pressure in his gut, the strain of his abs and the heat of digestion made him feel so tired.

"Ahhhhhhh!" Kanen moaned loudly as he threw back his head and let loose another deep, manly belch, the sound echoing throughout the restaurant. He closed his eyes, trying to hold in the next one but failing miserably. "Bwuaaarrrp!" Another loud belch escaped the surfer's lips as he looked at the large stack of empty plates in front of him. Something about it made Kanen feel proud, like he was some sort of gluttonous beast who was being rewarded for his excesses.

And so, Kanen struggled to stand up from his seat, his belly was so heavy and his abs stretched to the absolute limit, his legs felt like jelly as it took the stud a moment to adjust to his newfound weight. His singlet had ridden up so much that it only encompassed half of his overgorged belly. Kanen felt all eyes on him as he swaggered over to the counter slowly, holding his gut in both hands like a newborn as he tried not to burp loudly again.

Up at the counter, Kanen found Caleb waiting; a look of complete awe on his face as he gazed upon the young surfer's huge stomach.

"I believe I... *HIC* have a *BUUARRPP* meal to pay for..." Kanen chuckled, patting his belly proudly.

"Oh my God," Caleb gasped. "I can't believe you ate all that." Caleb began to grin from ear to ear. "That was incredible man... I've never seen someone pack away that much food!"

"Thank you *BWARP* Caleb..." Kanen laughed slowly. "I think I've *HIC* had my fill..." Kanen chuckled, his stomach wobbling slightly as he let out another burp, handing the young waiter his credit card, but Caleb shook his head.

"It’s on the house man." Caleb smiled. "You earned it."

***

Kanen lay sprawled out on the hood of his car as he watched the late afternoon sun dwindle on the horizon, the sky turning orange as the evening approached. The young stud had one arm behind his head, and the other wrapped around his gargantuan gut, releasing satisfied burps as he sighed contently. He felt so full... so fucking full... but so good too. The tightness, the weight, the size of his belly all felt incredible.

Kanen let out a long sigh as he brought his hand from his swollen belly down to hard manhood, stroking himself idly as he basked in the glow of his accomplishment. This had been quite possibly the most fun he'd ever had in his life. Eating so much food had left him completely exhausted and drained, his muscles ached and his mind was fuzzy from all the food he had forced into his system, but despite all that, Kanen wanted to see what other places did with order mix-ups.

This summer was going to be fun with people like Caleb around.

[buckysgrace]

Omg girl I beg of you please write more about big brother gator 😫🙏🏼

Ask and you shall receive lol

He would've been about 21-22ish I believe when the twins were born??

Probably was indifferent at the time but slowly grew into the idea of it

Honestly he was probably hoping for little brothers but quickly changed his mindset once he realized the girls played just as rough lol

He definitely had no idea how to hold a baby at first. Couldn't figure out why you needed to support their necks or why they were so fragile lol

Would hold them up until they started to cry, then back to Karen they went lol. He just always figured he was doing something wrong

Would absolutely give them pickles/lemons when they were babies because he thought their reactions were always funny

Now when they're starting to walk/talk and are really gaining their personalities; that's the stage he loved lol

Told them a ton of jokes at this age because they laughed at whatever he said

Absolutely calls them spoiled brats

Has definitely told them that there's a monster that lives on the ranch or somewhere under their bed/in their closet. Got in big trouble for that but honestly it was worth it in his opinion

Has also threatened to lock them up in the back of his cruiser and take them to jail when they've been rowdy

Gives out alllll the piggy back rides. And all the tickle fights

Will also take them to all of the fair rides. He rides every single one (lowkey gets sick by the end of it all tho lol)

Loves to bounce with them on the trampoline, definitely throws in a few flips in there to impress them

Obviously if they accidentally gets hurt he does the whole "don't tell dad"

The twins for sure draw pictures for him all the time <3 He has his own little collection of their art lol

If he has to watch them (Which is very very rare) he's pretty chill with them? Sort of lets them do their own thing because I think he's stern enough with them that they know not to get him in trouble (which is funny cuz I think he's the complete opposite with his own kids lol)

Will buy them a pop or sweets if Roy is too mean with them (continues to give them candy that's too sour tho, just to watch them react to it lol)

Probably purposely gives them candy to get them hyper actually, especially if Karen is being Karen.

He has drawn fake tattoos on them before

Probably also painted their faces. Probably made them think he was putting on pretty makeup or butterflies on their faces when in reality he ends up giving them a big mustache, or makes them look like a witch/skeleton lol

They definitely try and mess up his hair, rip his hats off or try and grab his vape. He's pretty good at swatting them away without getting angry

Will for sure pick them up from school in his uniform if he hears that other kids are being mean to them. He’s gotta get the intimidation points in smh

They probably accidentally ended up sneaking in while he was watching a horror movie and have tried to crawl into his bed before smh.

He absolutely has the most intense games of hide and seek with them (he will be crawling on top of the fridge or hiding in cabinets smh)

[sku11kidz]

Come, my child.

Fandom: Biohazard: Village, Resident Evil 8, Resident Evil: Village

Character Tags: Ethan Winters, Reader, Rosemary Winters (mention), Mother Miranda, Alicia Dimitrescu, Salvador Moreau, Karl Heisenberg,

Tags: Lord Ethan winters AU, Haha Ethan is an old 1950s dad, soft, Alternate canon, father is fathering, Child!Reader, children, horror tags, Ethan isn’t a good person, no matter how he wants to convince himself he is :(, reader is no older than 12, ???, writer is a teenager/slow updates

All is platonic in this fic.

Please do not tag as otherwise

PROSHIP DNI 🍖🌈 DNI

The air is sharp and cold. It feels like you’ve been lost from the village for hours. Your parents told you not to go too far out into the village yet you did out of feeling curious and brave.

You were hungry and weak as the snow bit and ripped your body apart without even touching you. Despite this, your own ego prevented you from going back.

Blinded, you looked up to see a small home in the woods. The home has a simple and modest exterior, with a simple white paint job and a small front porch.

The windows were warm and inviting as the voice calls out to you. “Child. Dear child. Come here. Let me comfort you.” The voice called out. “Come home to me.” This voice was masculine and soft.

As you wake up, you feel the warmth of a cozy bed. The bedroom you’re in is soft and homey. The room is filled with various stuffed animals and kids toys. The thing was, who brought you in here?

You open the door and begin to creep downstairs. The bright walls of the hallway compliment the dark wooden floors. Small roses and carnations are painted the walls, it reminds you of a hospital in a way.

Whoever lived here really enjoyed plants. Specifically, roses and carnations. The base floor wasn’t much different. Same floral print as before, the walls were just green this time. This whole situation had you thinking.

Who brought you in? Was in the same person who spoke to you before? Just as you think this, you’re hit with the smell of mashed potatoes and roast chicken.

The aroma was intoxicating and mouth watering. You felt your own stomach growl, it had been a while since you had eaten. Last time you ate was when your mom sent you out to the forest this morning. By the look of the windows, it was after 8pm.

Beginning to think with your stomach, you follow the smell. As you get closer, you hear soft humming. It sounds like the song *Be Cruel/Hound Dog* by Elvis.

Coming closer, the smell gets stronger. You peek in the kitchen and see a tall man, Ethan. He hums softly and pulls the roast chicken out of the oven. It looked as tasty as it smelt. The chicken is a golden brown, covered in crispy skin and dripping with juices. A small hint of garlic and lemon can be seen along the lines of the chicken.

Just as you observe the chicken and get lost in the daydream of eating, you hear Ethan let out a small gasp of shock. You somehow startled him. He chuckles and puts the chicken down on the stove. “You’re awake.” He coos, bending down to your level. A bit scared, you back away. Ethan frowns and raises his hands. “Listen—! Listen,” he chuckles “I’m friendly, see?” Feeling his generosity, you slightly let your guard down.

Ethan sighs and smiled. “I was just about to wake you up. You’ve been sleep for hours and it’s almost dinner time, sweetheart.” He stands up and and picks the roast chicken up, placing it on the table. “Here, take a seat. Dinner will be ready soon.” He ruffles your hair while you sit at the table.

The dining room walls have small antique photos of Ethan and what looks like his wife and daughter. You can’t even register the whole picture before you’re distracted by the Mashed Potatoes, Biscuits, and cherry pie on the table.

Just as you observe the chicken and get lost in the daydream of eating, you hear Ethan let out a small gasp of shock. You somehow startled him. He chuckles and puts the chicken down on the stove. “You’re awake.” He coos, bending down to your level. A bit scared, you back away. Ethan frowns and raises his hands. “Listen—! Listen,” he chuckles, “I’m friendly, see?” Feeling his generosity, you slightly let your guard down.

Ethan sighs and smiles. “I was just about to wake you up. You’ve been sleeping for hours and it’s almost dinner time, sweetheart.” He stands up and picks the roast chicken up, placing it on the table. “Here, take a seat. Dinner will be ready soon.” He ruffles your hair while you sit at the table.

The dining room walls have small antique photos of Ethan and what looks like his wife and daughter. You can’t even register the whole picture before you’re distracted by the Mashed Potatoes, Biscuits, and cherry pie on the table. “Poor kid, you’re just skin and bones.” He begins to set his plate. “Come on now, dig in. A growing child like you needs your nutrition and what better nutrition than a home cooked meal?” He begins to eat.

One bite of the greens and you’re in heaven. They were seasoned and cooked to perfection. You completely devoured at least three plates and Ethan was glad to feed you. “It’s late you know,” his voice is calm and safe, “why don’t you stay here? It’s dangerous to leave at night.” You were about to object but you remembered just how unnerving the woods got in the winter. Reluctantly, you agree. Ethan looks more than glad. He smiles and gently holds your hand. “Where did you come from?” He asked. You explain how you came from the village and Ethan frowns. “That village? It’s dangerous over there. Mother Miranda isn’t the kind woman you think she is.” You didn’t understand what he was saying. Mother Miranda hasn’t done anything bad

…

Right?

Of course not. This old man was just out of it. Ethan sighs and gently lets go of your hand. “How about this? I’ll walk you back home to the village tomorrow. We can leave after breakfast. Sound good with you?” He asked as if you had a choice.

Later that evening, Ethan tucks you into bed. “There we go.” He whispers to himself, ruffling your hair. “If you need anything, you can cry out to me and I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Hearing this makes you feel warm. Your parents back at home never reassured you at times like this. Normally, they’d send you off to bed without a story or a kiss but this wasn’t the case. Ethan was better to you in his few hours of knowing you than your parents who knew you all your life. He looks down at you with his soft eyes, almost looking glum. “Goodnight, Rosema–” He cuts himself off. “Do you have a name or a nickname I can call you?” The name you choose to go by leaves your lips. “What a sweet name. I’m Lord Winters but I really just wish people would call me Ethan.” He chuckles and sighs. “Sleep well. I won’t let any monsters get you.” He stands up and turns off the lights, leaving the room for you to get some rest.

As you lay in bed, you can’t help but fully look around your surroundings. While Mr. Winters’ home was inviting, why was it welcome for you to sleep in? You couldn’t think too hard before your eyes got heavy. The cold pillows and soft blankets kiss you goodnight as you drift off to bed.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. You’ll see your mom and dad and they’ll welcome you with open arms.

[eviesaurusrex]

ᴍᴇᴇᴛɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴇɴᴛꜱ | ᴄ. ᴇᴠᴀɴꜱ

Chris Evans x Korean-American!Reader

summary: It’s tricky to introduce the boyfriend to one’s parents in the middle of a worldwide pandemic—so FaceTime has to be sufficient for now.

word count: 4k

warnings: a smidge of anxiety and insecurity, mentions of pandemic and the virus, talk about said virus, pandemic and overall social situation (but really short), but overall fluff, my inability of keeping things short, my attempts of Korean (I’m still a beginner’s learner, so I had to use some dictionary magic, sorry folks 👉🏻👈🏻), not perfectly proofread, a short social media post kinda thing at the end with Arden Cho as the faceclaim—but you can ignore that if you want <3

author’s note: I’m not Korean myself, but I kinda had this idea stuck in my head, and I really hope you won’t rip my head off because I’m writing something like this 👉🏻👈🏻 Edit: the wonderful @a-cup-of-earl-grey-please helped me with the Korean bits in this piece!! <3

;

Humming, YN pushed the door close with her hip, arms crowded by bags full of groceries so they didn’t have to go out for another few weeks without scratching the point of starvation and kicked off her flats. Commotion was heard somewhere in the house before Dodger rounded the corner and greeted her with an excitedly lolled-out tongue and big eyes, looking up at her and one of the bags in particular, tail wiggling heavily.

“Hey, baby,” she greeted her best (fur) friend before walking down the hallway to get her new possessions into the kitchen—Dodger hot on her heels. “Calm down, bub. I know that you know that I got you those treats, but you have to cut me some slack, yeah? I’m not your daddy who can easily carry everything on one arm and fish your stuff out with the other. It’s not so easy peasy lemon squeezy without muscles like Mount Everest, y’know?” Grinning, she talked with the dog while arriving in the kitchen and letting everything plop down onto the kitchen island.

She quickly went to the sink, squirted some disinfecting soap on her hands—she still wondered where Chris had found that invention—and started to wash her hands while singing Happy Birthday under her breath. A tad more than twenty seconds later, she rinsed the soap, dried her hands, and returned to the pile of stuff waiting for her to get unpacked.

Rummaging through the tote bags and the rare paper bags—only bought when her already brought bags weren’t enough—YN tried to find the treats Dodger was obsessed with and ripped open the new package before turning around and letting him sit. “Such a good boy,” she smiled while crouching down and letting him devour the small treats in the palm of her hand as if there was no tomorrow. “Don’t tell your dad, but I got him some treats as well. Remember the time when he emptied my bag of injeolmi raiseubol on his own? Well, he can’t eat mine anymore because he has his own stack now.”

Giggling at the tickling feeling of Dodger’s tongue lapping at her fingertips, she didn’t hear when Chris entered the lower floor. “What shouldn’t he tell me?” Looking up, a grin formed again on her delicate features. “Nothing?” The bear of a man raised a dark blonde eyebrow, and YN let him pull her upwards and straight into his arms.

Her Asian roots and heritage let her appear like a tiny fairy next to him. They could totally pull off a Tinker Bell and Peter Pan costume for Halloween now that she thought of… Depending on the outcome of everything and if the world could get its shit together before burning everything to ashes and the ground. But she would keep that idea in the back of her head because she really wanted to dress up at some point again.

“Got you some of those snacks you seemed to really like when you worked through every box and bag,” she whispered, lips ghosting over his after Chris had bent his head down to hers, nose tips softly rubbing against each other. “So that’s where you disappeared to?” YN nodded and let him push some of the dark, silky strands behind her ear. “Sorry for forgetting my phone. I was already halfway there when I thought of it and wanted to get everything before the flood of people came. Jus’wanted to get outta there as fast as possible.”

The current situation, even after weeks of their new reality, still haunted and scared her to an extent she never would’ve imagined possible. Wearing masks was nothing she dreaded—she was used to it from her time overseas during her studies—but the fact that everything got worse and worse without any sight of a turning point was anxiety-inducing.

Chris wrapped her tighter in his strong arms and pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead. “Don’t have to apologize, sweets. Just glad you made it back in time. The FaceTime call with your parents is still on for today, right?” Nodding, YN soothingly rubbed his back as soon as she heard the slight hesitation in his voice, saw and heard his thick gulping, trying to swallow the rising nerves. “Hey,” she mumbled, cupping his bearded face with both hands and giving him a serious look-over. “We don’t have to do this if you think it’s not a good time. We still can cancel if you wanna do it in person because it’s easier, less stressful, less nerve-racking. It’s not like they know what I’m up to—my mom may suspect something because she keeps track of me through tabloids and social media, but she knows that those are almost always lies and that I would tell her in time if something is up.”

She had never been nervous herself when it came to introducing her boyfriends to her parents because she almost always never really thought of what they would think about them. But with Chris? She really needed them to like him because even after only a year and a half, she knew with shocking clarity that he was the one for her. And her parents had to like him.

They simply just must.

But she also feared the possibility of overwhelming this poor man in front of her—especially now in times like these when they constantly brinked to the state of losing their heads through anxiety and plain fear of getting sick, and nobody knew what would happen then. She wanted to make it as perfect and comfortable as possible for him because she always wanted for him to like her parents back.

Chris’ hands atop her hips tightened their hold before gently loosening it again; his thumbs rubbed slow circles into the fabric of her shirt. “No… No. I still wanna do it. You already met my family, and I guess it’s time, don’t you think?” Softly shrugging, YN looked up at him, his face still enveloped by her hands. She started to comb her fingers through his soft hair, knowing very well that it soothed him more than anything else she could do. “It doesn’t matter what I think, love. I want it to be as comfortable as possible for you, y’know. You made me feel so welcomed when I met Lisa for the first time, so perfectly content with the moment. I just… just wanna do the same for you.” She let her eyes fall shut as Chris kissed the crown of her head before tilting her head upwards to him, his finger under her chin to move it, and proceeded to kiss her lips numerous times.

The tender pecks and the tickling feeling of his beard on her soft skin made her giggle.

“You already do, baby. Alone that you think about it so thoroughly… Fuck, I love you so much,” the man whispered against her lips. “The most perfect woman there is,” he continued, pressing another set of kisses to her lips. “Stop over-exaggerating,” YN scolded him with a soft laugh and swatted his broad chest. “Instead, help me get this stuff unpacked and carry this freaking heavy sack of rice in the pantry, Mister America’s Ass.”

With a boyish grin on his features, Chris shamelessly dug through the Korean snacks he had learned to love since YN had entered his life and had shown him the culinary variety she grew up with. “Ooooh, you got the honey butter chips!” Which was followed by: “And the chocolate-cracker stuff! Yes.” Chris had nothing but a sweet tooth.

Meanwhile, YN started to sort the unpacked stuff in piles for the fridge, the cupboards, and the pantry, while Dodger patiently followed her during every step, hoping for another handful of treats with big round eyes—and of course, he got one.

She never could deny her two boys anything.

—

Sitting on one of the dining chairs in the kitchen, YN smiled brightly at her iPad’s screen as her mom's face appeared with a similar smile. “Hey, eomma!” The familiar Korean word for Mom strangely always soothed her. Cho-Hee observed her daughter on the other side of the world closely before her dark brows furrowed over her worried eyes. “Bab meokeutni?” The daughter rolled her eyes with a soft smile. “Of course, I’ve eaten, Mom. Probably more than enough to sustain an entire town for a month. Netflix and snacks are my newest best friends,” she grinned before propping up her chin in the palm of her hand, eyes still trained on the screen. Her mother sighed softly. “I only worry about you, aegiya (baby), especially now with you so far away. Are you staying inside? Keep your distance? Order everything you can instead of going out to get it yourself?” She continued to nod at every given point. “Yes, yes, and yes. Though I feel bad for the people delivering me my stuff, y’know? It’s just unfair. But I at least can provide them with proper face masks. Last week I saw our postman with a mask almost already falling to pieces.” Through the upsetting feeling rising inside her, YN didn’t even realize she used our instead of mine. “Like… why can’t the government just provide them? Last time I saw a package at the store, I almost dropped to the floor. They’re so expensive, Mom. And then you have to be lucky to get some anyway. It’s like playing the lottery.”

Groaning, YN stopped her frustrated rambling spree before taking a deep breath. “Sorry, Mom. It’s just… I don’t know. It shouldn’t be like this.” It certainly hit differently when spending a lot of one’s lifetime in a country with a far better social security system, actually providing for its people. But her mother gladly didn’t object to her words. “I understand, love. I really do. The situation only emphasizes societal inequality—but maybe this is also a good thing. Try to be a bit hopeful, yes? Maybe this will lead to changes in the future.” YN couldn’t help it—as always—but admired her mother. She always tried to find something positive in every aspect of life or put hope in the future. “I try, I promise,” YN mumbled before cocking an eyebrow. “Where is Dad?” Her mother turned in her chair and called loving obscenities into the small house in the countryside around Seoul, demanding that her husband move his butt over so he could greet his only child—and utmost pride.

In-Sung appeared in the camera range of the propped-up iPad, and YN waved with a wide grin. Before meeting Chris, her father had been her most favorite male person on this planet—now they both shared that spot.

“Hey, appa (Dad),” she continued to grin but had to look down at the sudden feeling of a warm furry body pressing against her shins, desperate for attention. Dodger pushed his head between her knees and waited for her to grant him the attention he wanted. YN could see Chris out of the corner of her eye, trying to whistle the dog back without getting noticed for now. “Hey, princess. How you’re holding up?” Turning her head to the right, the woman looked over at Chris, lifting both brows softly in question. “Everything‘s great, Dad,” she said while communicating silently. Her father, on the other hand, observed the scene and her surroundings more closely as her mother would ever do. “Where are you, YN? This is not your living room. I would know if you had a window front.”

Turning back, she started to scratch Dodger behind his ear and picked up her nervous habit of biting on her bottom lip. “I… uhm…,” YN began before taking a deep breath. “I have to tell you something,” she continued and waved Chris over, who now hesitantly walked closer. He wasn’t in the picture yet, but her parents probably knew that something was definitely up. She reached for his hand, squeezing it tenderly and reassuringly, before softly pulling at it to get him to sit down on the chair right next to her. “Actually, I want you to meet someone,” YN corrected herself before softly pushing the iPad a bit to the right, so Chris was on screen right next to her. She still could see the surprised—but pleased—expressions settling on her parents’ faces. “Appa, eomma—this is Chris and… well, he is my boyfriend.” Shortly, she paused before opening her mouth again, suddenly overcome by the urge to explain herself. “This isn’t new at all, and I’m really sorry for not telling you sooner or introducing him sooner, but I kinda wanted to figure this out first before dragging another guy in front of you who would disappear in a month or two, so it’s not his fault, and again, I’m seriously sorry, and—”

Chris’ hand settled on her thigh, squeezing it gently to pull her out of that anxious state of self-explanatory she fell into. She looked up at him, swallowing the next flood of words at his loving, reassuring smile, and let him pull her chair closer to his before he moved the iPad as well. Dodger followed close while still sitting on his butt—lazy boy—and rested his head back on her mid-thigh; dark eyes kept looking up at her, demanding scratches and overall love from his other favorite human.

“You don’t have to apologize, aegiya, and you know it as well as we do,” her mom told her before smiling as brightly as the sun at Chris. He, on the other hand, started to shift in his chair before throwing her one last look—an apologetic one she didn’t quite understand—and moving his gaze back to her parents on the screen. “Annyeong haseyo, abeonim, eomeonim. Manna boepge doeeo yeong-gwang-ipnida (Hello, mother, father (in a formal setting, also used as mother/father-in-law). I’m honored to meet you),” the man right next to her suddenly spoke in almost flawless Korean, which almost led to YN’s fall from her chair. Her parents squealed in excitement—well, at least it sounded like squealing noises—and her mother clapped her hands with a wide smile on her face while her father nodded in utter approval. “This was excellent, Chris!” In-Sung followed close in his wife’s assuring words but directed to his daughter. “You will keep this one, young lady,” he warned her jokingly before chuckling quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you, Chris. Even though I have to say I already saw it coming,” Cho-Hee still smiled while YN only rolled her eyes. “Mom, please.” Her father softly shoved the woman next to him. “Don’t start bragging about your social media addiction, love. It’s nothing to brag about.” Both her parents laughed, and YN still couldn’t comprehend how happy they were even after so many years of being married and living together.

This was exactly what she wanted for herself—preferably with the man sitting to her right.

Chris chuckled next to her and let his arm rest on the back of her chair, fingers tenderly caressing her shoulder and upper arm. “Thank the universe for translators. Korean is such an interesting but difficult language if I’m being honest. I’m always listening and watching in awe when YN starts to speak so fluently, I barely can keep up with her.” YN grinned at him before turning to her parents again. “He is being modest. He asked me to teach him a few things, and his pronunciation is really good, even if he doesn’t like to admit it,” she teased him and nudged his side lovingly, bringing him to show his beautiful and radiant smile. “But I didn’t teach him that. You did so well, love.” The praise followed naturally, just like the kiss on his bearded cheek, not seeing the looks her parents exchanged.

“She is right. It sounded almost perfect. And the pronunciation is really the trickiest part, followed by the writing,” her father chuckled before an interested expression settled onto his face. “So, you two quarantine together?” Her mother had propped her chin in both hands and stared at the screen with something almost resembling heart eyes. Chris nodded. “We do. YN was still in New York when it hit, and everything started to shut down, so I drove down the coast and practically threw her in the car to have her here.” He needed to lie if he had to tell people he wasn’t relieved to have gotten her out of there—the news of the harsh impact in the city still haunted his dreams. His anxiety tried to spiral every night until he reached over to the other bedside to feel YN sleeping safely and soundly right next to him.

“Why didn’t you just leave, aegiya? Poor Chris,” her mother almost chastised her with a raised finger, and YN gently shrugged. “I didn’t want to bother him. I wanted to ask, but you know how I get. Y’all know.” Chris pulled her closer to his side and pressed a kiss to her temple. “Your nosy mother probably already knows it—…” Cho-Hee hit her husband’s shoulder at that, and he chuckled under his breath, “—…but how did you two get to know each other?” YN had already opened her mouth, but her mother was faster. “You know they made a movie together! We were at the premiere!” In-Sung patted her hand gently. “I know, my impatient love, but I want to hear it from them. Main source acquiring.”

YN grinned at that and shrugged softly before looking up at Chris. “I mean, we knew each other before that already. Remember We Bought a Zoo?” Both her parents nodded. “Of course, we remember! It was your directing debut.” Again, her mother seemed to have heart eyes, and YN’s grin widened. “Well, Scarlett and I became really good friends, and suddenly she introduced me to this man here but we never had the right timing, didn’t we?” Chris shook his head with a soft smile. “Not really, no. Either it was me who was in a relationship or you, but I’ve always fancied you, sweets. It may’ve started as a crush, but then my agent told me you would be in Knives Out, and I just had to text you after disappearing for… weeks?” The woman chuckled gently. “More like months to almost a year, but we’re staying with weeks to make you feel better about it, love.”

He grinned at that before turning to face her parents again. “And then one came to the other, we grabbed a couple of coffees, I realized she finally wasn’t taken anymore, and I practically jumped the gun at her on our last day of shooting.” She accepted the kiss to her temple again. “That’s why you two seemed too familiar and… cozy on that carpet. Young lady…” Her father grinned a cheeky grin, and YN returned the exact same one on her face. “I’ve learned from the best,” she winked at him, meaning the innocent but nonetheless loving moments she always witnessed when they were out in public, and her father and mother behaved like lovesick teenagers—but the adorable kind, with long gazes and lingering hugs without pulling too much attention from passerby’s.

“We are really happy for you two,” Cho-Hee said with a loving smile. “Is your dog somewhere? He is part of the family as well, after all,” she smiled, and Chris nodded with a grin. “He is. Jus’ a sec’.” He took the iPad from the stand and switched the camera while filming the space underneath the table where Dodger still sat between YN’s slightly parted legs, head resting on her mid-thigh. His eyes looked up at him and the iPad, but he didn’t move an inch, reveling in the scratches and petting continuously provided by YN. “He is enamored by her,” the man chuckled, listening to the cooing echoing from the speakers before moving the iPad back up and switching the camera again. “So, the Evans boys have something in common,” In-Sung laughed, and Chris just had to laugh alongside him. “That’s probably true,” he continued to grin and looked over at YN with a lovestruck expression as she checked the clock.

“We won’t hold you from your sleep any longer.” Her parents smiled at their only child, visible pride on their faces. “But Mom?” Cho-Hee hummed in question. “Could you find me the recipes for Gamjatang, Kongguksu, and Doenjang jjigae? I think you still have the recipe book of halmeoni (grandma), and I forgot to write it down when I last visited you.” Her mother nodded with a soft smile. “Of course, my love. I will look for it tomorrow morning.”

YN mumbled a gentle “Thanks, eomma” and leaned closer to Chris. “It was a real pleasure to meet you officially, Chris. As soon as domestic travel is allowed again, you two must visit so the rest of the family can meet him.” Both nodded at the words of In-Sung, and both couples waved their goodbyes and ended the FaceTime call.

;

Chris laid outstretched on the sofa after he had changed into a Red Sox shirt and watched the baseball game on the tv screen until YN ventured into the living room—clad in a pair of sports tights and one of his shirts. He moved a bit so his back was resting against the armrest, and welcomed her with open arms as YN climbed atop of him.

“Do you think they like me?” He just had to ask that question because it had ghosted through his mind since they ended the call an hour ago. The woman smiled down at him and continued to play with his long fingers. “After you showed off your Korean skills?” Chris smiled bashfully up at her and wrapped his arms around her back as she leaned down. Their lips almost touched as she spoke again. “They adored you from the beginning,” she whispered and kissed him tenderly. “Yeah?” YN nodded at his question. “Totally,” she stressed and giggled as something came to her mind. “Mom wrote me a few minutes ago. Told me again to really try to make you tag along when I visit the family again. Called you sawikkam.”

He looked confused, and YN giggled again, pressing another kiss to his lips. “It means future son-in-law or prospective son-in-law. A person who’s worthy of being their daughter’s husband.” A glowing smile stretched across his face, anxiety instantly gone. “Oh, is that so?” She hummed, lips still partially connected. “It’s a great honor.” Another kiss was pressed to his softly parted lips. “My mom never said that to any of my boyfriends before you, so… You have their blessing if you ever think about going that path. You don’t have to, of course, and you don’t need to feel pressured into anything if you don’t think it’s what you wa—…”

Chris couldn’t let her end that ludicrous sentence and just pulled her incredibly close to kiss her like a man possessed. “Stop that thought right there,” he huskily whispered and let his hands wander over her back to her butt, closing his fingers around the cheeky globes and pulling her body closer to him after he had sat up on the couch. “We’re in this for the long run, sweetheart. As if I could let you go again.” A soft laugh escaped YN as she wrapped her legs around his slender waist and let him kiss her again like he loved her more than anything.

And in Chris’ opinion, precisely that was the case.

;

chrisevans I met her parents, so it’s time to make this social media-official, I guess ❤️

[yourinstagram]

Liked by lisa_capuano, scottevansgram, evansstan, yourfan1, and 1,230,879 others | 271,005 comments

scottevansgram I can finally show off with all the pictures and videos I have of her scaring the living daylight out of you! A victory for humankind!

liked by yourinstagram, yourfan1, chrisstan2, and 111 others

↳ anthonymackie I’m interested in said footage ����

yourinstagram You used a very pretty picture, handsome. A wonder it doesn’t have the quality of a photo from one of those conspiracy websites allegedly showing Area 51 💀

liked by yourfan7, yourfan5, scottevansgram, and 548 others

↳ liz_olsen rip Chris Evans 5/11/2020

↳ chrisevans Do you try to insult my perfectly working phone?

↳ yourinstagram I not only tried—I did 😘

liked by simu_liu, imsebastianstan, yourstan1, and 88 others

evansstan My life finally has meaning again 😱

lisa_capuano I’m so happy for you two ❤️

↳ yourinstagram Thank you, Mama Evans 👉🏻👈🏻

↳ lisa_capuano I’ll swing by later to leave some treats out at your door, sweets ❤️

↳ yourfan1 Mama Evans loves YN SO MUCH 🥹

liked by lisa_capuano, carly_evans, and 15 others

chrisstan1 I saw you once at the café I worked, and I saw how happy you two already were. I’m really, really happy for you, Chris <3

imsebastianstan So happy for you two. Though I need to demand some alone time with my best friend post-lockdown!

↳ chrisevans Which of us do you mean? Choose your words wisely, Seb 👀

↳ yourinstagram He obviously meant me, love 👸🏻

↳ imsebastianstan I actually did, yeah. Sorry, C, but I knew her longer

↳ chrisevans That’s how betrayal feels like. Wow. 💀

↳ yourinstagram Don’t act all drama queen on social media, Chris. I can see your grin from the other side of the kitchen 👀

liked by imsebastianstan, chrisevans, carly_evans, and 327 others

↳ yn_and_chris I love them, your honor 🥺

yourfan2 Thank you for making her so happy, Chris! ❤️

↳ yourfan3 +1

;

Sorry for adding that social media bit, but my brain screamed at me to just go with the flow and do it 👉🏻👈🏻 Hope y’all enjoyed this one and don’t come for my head because I wrote this as a non-Korean. If I did something wrong Korean-wise, please let me know! I appreciate your help a lot, especially as a beginner learner. Gotta learn from those mistakes 👌🏻 I’m super unhappy with the ending and how this one turned out bc I’ve never introduced my partners to my parents bc they never cared enough lol. As usual: comments, reblogs, and likes are much appreciated!

[hurlingsupport]

could you do a reagan ridley with a reader who’s kinda childish? like they collect stuffed animals but get super insecure about it? if not it’s okay! thank u!

Yeah I can, and thank you for the request! Not sure if you wanted headcanons or a scenario though, so I went ahead and did a short one-shot since it's what I'm most familiar with

"Movie Night" (Reagan Ridley x Childish! Gender Neutral Reader One-shot)

(Slight warning for cussing)

Today was movie night with Reagan, a night full of nothing but sci-fi and popcorn. And today was a bit abnormal compared to other nights. See, usually you and Reagan would have movie night in your living room, where the TV was bigger and there was just more stretching room overall.

However, you were rather exhausted from this week; maintaining the government isn't exactly refreshing. So you really didn't have the energy to set everything up in your living room, and your room was quite cozy if you say so yourself, so the room it was.

Normally, this wouldn't be a problem, seeing that you trusted Reagan and there wasn't anything particularly wrong with your room. It's just that you had a collection of items that you considered pretty embarrassing for an adult in their thirties to have. Which happened to be collecting plush animals of all kinds, but a few were from your childhood, meaning that they were rather valuable in your heart.

You knew how Reagan was; she wouldn't outright bully you, but she would think it was weird. She was cool, mature most of the time, and a literal genius! You shivered in fright, imagining her judgmental face staring at you of all people.

Luckily, you had the perfect solution, which was to just stuff your collection under your bed. You even cleaned it out so that they wouldn't get dusty or anything. Then, as you pulled your blanket down to better hide your plushies, you heard the doorbell to your apartment ring.

Quickly double checking to make sure everything was in place, you ran to the door. And there she was, in her plain black hoodie with green, ripped jeans.

"Were you running?" She asked with a smile, hands in her pockets. You laughed at her question.

"No."

As soon as she stepped through the doorway, you closed the door and led her to the kitchen.

"You got here kind of early, so the popcorn's still in the microwave. Go ahead and take a drink out of the fridge." She opened your fridge and immediately made a face.

"Capri Suns? Do those actually still exist?" She grabbed one and started to inspect it.

"Uh, yeah? How long has it been since you had one?" She ignored your question and instead put the one she was holding back and grabbed a different one.

"Wait, you like Lemon Lime Rush?" Reagan paused as she poked the straw through the hole.

"You don't?"

Before you could tell her that she could have your whole supply, the microwave began to beep, signaling that the popcorn was done.

"Whatever, go pick a movie, and it better not be The Matrix again!" Regan let out a long, exaggerated groan at your words. You could faintly hear her whining about how it got better each time.

You sighed as you opened the popcorn, pouring a bit of salt into it so that it wasn't completely plain. However your eyebrows raised as you heard a rather loud thump come from your room.

"You okay?" You yelled, waiting for a reply. And when you heard a scream come from your room, both the salt and the popcorn went flying out of your hands.

"WHAT-WHAT!? WHAT HAPPENED??" Sliding into your room's doorway, you realized that she wasn't screaming about an alien, a mole-man, or even her dad somehow sneaking in with only his underwear on; instead, she sat on your carpeted floor, holding one of your most prized possessions: your favorite beanie baby from your childhood, Tooter the Dinosaur.

Reagan looked up at you, her eyes wide with disbelief, as she gripped the brown and yellow Parasaurolophus.

It was silent for a few seconds, and when a full minute passed, Reagan finally decided to speak up.

"You've got Tooter the Dinosaur?" It only took those words to leave her mouth for tears to begin rapidly streaming down your face, mouth pursed so that you didn't make this situation any more awkward. Immediately, Reagan stood up, beanie baby still in hand, as she grabbed your shoulder in surprise.

"Woah, woah! What's wrong?" She watched as you struggled to get the words out, your sniffling increasing with each breath you took.

"You-- *sniff*, you weren't supposed to—hmph!" You shut your mouth once you felt an oncoming sob trying to escape.

Reagan stayed silent as she stared at you in concern before placing the dinosaur plushie in your hands and watching as you gripped its soft body for comfort.

"I wasn't supposed to—what? Did you not want me to see the plushie?" She tried laughing, grimacing as you kept crying despite her attempt at a joke. She then sat you down on your bed, sitting next to you with her hands in her lap.

"Sorry, I wasn't snooping or anything. As soon as I walked in, I slipped on Tooter and fell." She let a small chuckle escape her lips.

"... Is that what that thump was?" You didn't look at her, holding the plushie close to your body.

"Ah, yeah. Haha." She grimaced and continued, "Um, look—I can go if you don't want to do movie night anymore-" you instantly cut her off.

"What!? No, no! *sniff* You're fine, Reagan!" You sighed, feeling that you messed up the whole night because of your childish ways. "You didn't do anything; I'm just weird." She made a confused face, and before she could ask any questions, you began to explain.

"Look, um, I kind of collect these plushies, not just beanie babies. Any kind of plushie, really." You paused, rubbing at the dinosaur's soft fur.

"It's just embarrassing, I guess. I'm in my thirties and I'm still acting like this." You let out a sad laugh and jumped back when Reagan exclaimed.

"What? Dude, I've seen way weirder; we both have!" Her brows were furrowed, and her hands waved in the air as if to support her claim.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, it's just that you're so... mature? I don't know, I thought you'd be weirded out or something." With this, Reagan gasped, staring at you with a hurt expression.

"No way! I mean, I'm just as weird, if not weirder than you! Have you met my family?" Your face scrunched at the image that appeared in your head. "Or seen my eyebags?" She pulled the skin under her eyes down, and you had to admit that you'd never seen someone with such a dark shade of purple underneath their eyes.

"So you're not weirded out?" She put a hand on your shoulder again, this time with a smile on her face.

"Of course not; in fact-" She gave you a mischievous look before grabbing the dinosaur out of your hands. "-I've been looking for a dinosaur beanie baby. They came out in 2002, y'know?"

"What? No, that's mine!" You laughed, tackling her as you tried to pry the precious plush from her hands. And when you finally succeeded, you were met with the reward of being pushed off your bed. You huffed in frustration when you heard Reagan let out a guttural laugh, while you tried to ignore her ego boosting through the roof.

It was then that you noticed all of your hidden plushies underneath your bed, just barely covered by the now messy blanket.

"I do have another dinosaur beanie baby, if you're interested?" Reagan snorted, hopping off your sheet-ridden lair and watching as you reached under your bed for the plushie you were looking for.

"God, you sound like a drug dealer—or maybe just Andre." She crossed her arms, bending a bit to get a better look at what you were trying to grab.

"Yeah, okay, Ms. Genius." Once you had finally gotten the beanie baby out of your kingdom of stuffed toys, you reached up and shoved it into Reagan's face.

"Ow—oh what? Is this Toothy Toothy!?" You giggled at her amazed face, getting off the ground so that you were at the same level as her.

"Yeah, now if you'll excuse me, I have popcorn to make." You stood by your bedroom doorway, waiting for Reagan to follow, and when she didn't, you called out to her instead.

"And I'll need someone to clean up the popcorn they made me spill!" She turned her head slightly towards you, eyes still focused on the plushie you had given her.

"I really don't think it's me you're talking about." You sighed, carefully grabbing ahold of her wrist and dragging her out of the room.

"So am I not picking the movie?" She asked, and you laughed.

"Fuck no."

[zagreuses-toast]

Playlist for Sybil my beloved. it was harder for me to find songs that match her character vibes (or at least my interpretation of her) from my library, which is where I harvest most of the songs for my playlists, so its a little shorter than the others. like Vime's playlist has Dad Music, this one has a fair amount of Mom energy (or at least MY mom's taste in music). explanations/categories for the songs under the cut

Sybil has that dragon centric autistic swag, and she refuses to conform to nonsense:

Whistling in the Dark by TMBG

Weird Science by Oingo Boingo

Life on Mars by David Bowie

Touch Tone Telephone by Lemon Demon

Walking My Gargoyle by the Gothic Archies (this is The Sybil song to me)

Human Behavior by Björk

Sam and Sybil songs (this time from sybil pov/themes, mainly about finding love late in life, devotion, and also a bit of loneliness, she has to share him with the city )

Take a Chance on Me by ABBA

Somebody to Love by Queen

Here is Home by Ryn Weaver

Home to Me by Devil and the Deep Blue Sea (this one!!! loving someone who is always somewhere else, being the thing they come back to no matter what)

Too Tall Girl by TMBG

Me and My Husband by Mitski

Butterfly's Repose by Zabwa

Uptown Girl by Billy Joel

Washing Machine Heart by Mitski

Pink in the Night by Mitski (mainly for the back line, I think about vimes saying Sybil said she could do knots and crosses on his back , a lot)

Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy by Queen (Sybil and her siege on Vimes's heart, which he caved to the minute he realized it was happening)

I Do I Do I Do by ABBA

Stuck In the Middle With You by Stealers Wheel (the clowns and jokers being the aristocracy)

Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood mac (reminds me of that guards guards bit with Sybil pointedly not staying at the door for Vimes' dramatic romance movie one last look over the shoulder moment, i love them so much your honor)

I Bet on Losing Dogs by Mitski (listen she has a TYPE)

Never Knew Love by TMBG

I think about that scene in Fifth Elephant where she is trapped and remembers what growing up as a large and kind girl is like, and then breaks out and kills a werewolf with an iron bar she ripped directly from the window. I think about it a normal amount:

You Cannot by Erin McKewon

It's Different for Girls by of Montreal

Smile! No One Cares How You Feel by The Gothic Archies

Not The Same by Sheldon Riley (also the autism feelings)

Misc:

Army of Me by Bjork

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch from Jekyll and Hyde

Ride of the Valkyries by Wagner (I had to)

[miidnighters]

get to know the mun.☺

what's your phone wallpaper: it's one of our wedding photos lmao

last song you listened to: weatherman by zach hood

currenly reading: I am actually not reading anything rn? I paused one of my poirot books halfway thru and I have an elsie silver book waiting but

last movie: I like. never watch movies anymore? like the answer is the eras tour movie but something with a plot? we don't know her

last show: I watched some leverage w my dad recently. rewatching criminal minds again. mostly we've been watching youtube

what are you wearing right now?: like, three layers of clothes and bedsocks and a balnket

how tall are you?: 5'4, apparently. 162.5 cm

piercings / tattoos?: I have 14 tattoos and 12 piercings (I used to have more rip my nose, tongue and nips but had to take them out for surgery). 6 of the piercings are in my earlobes tho so it's not actually that impressive

glasses / contacts: Iam supposed to wear glasses while I'm on the computer but....

last thing you ate?: I just ate a strawberry iced donut lmao

favourite colour: lemon/sunshine yellow!

current obsession: I'm about to watch bridgerton s3 so

do you have a crush right now?: I do and it's terminal (i'm married and it's on my husband)

favourite fictional character: I have always had THE softest spot for Anne Shirley, ever since I first read the books at like 8 or 9 years old

last place you travelled: I'm guessing my regular trips to the coast don't count so I think it would have been going north to Cairns to see my husband's family? we're going again this year for my younger brother-in-law's eighteenth

TAGGED BY: @whileurmine TAGGING: @sorrowsick | @epistrefei | @draconisa | @platiinums | @vitalphenomena

[csaw]

Meet the weird cousin no one talks about at the family reunion:

Vigore! (in my head it's pronounced like Igor) (He's my OC/Sona for oxy's dunmeshi modern au)

Vampire freak, he likes getting in everyone's pants. and he's very open about it, don't sleep with him if you can't handle everyone he knows finding out lmfao

Random things about him under the cut:

He is 5'8, not very tall...

He doesn't know what romantic love is, so.. he calls everything that isn't sexual love platonic (guess who's projecting!)

He has a friend group (aside from his coworkers) and he makes out with all of them otl and has been in bed with all of them at least once... but they're just friends. Friends that have sex with each other but still, friends.

I think u could put him under the polyam umbrella, but he genuinely doesn't know what the difference between romantic and platonic love is so ... he's really confusing. He'll take u out on a few dates and introduce you to his friend group and even his family and then finally you guys have sex and then u have to ask... What are we ? 🥺😿 And he'll say smth like "we're besties :3 ur like a brother/sister/sibling to me... I love you so much." BRO YOU STUCK UR DICK IN ME WDYM IM LIKE A SIBLING TO YOU?!?!?! and then he makes out with you again- rinse + repeat. endless cycle until you cut him off or try to explain u want him romantically. Then he's like. Okay? What does that mean??

He's a vampire, I would say he's pure-blooded but he's also super young for an immortal, he's like. 27 ish. And he still works in a shitty min wage job. Plus a secret hobby that he uses to make side cash..

His mom is 200+ years old and his dad is like in his 180's. But they both look like they're in their late 30's or very early 40's

His favorite drink is O- low sugar blood with lemon and cucumber.. he likes it hot, he hates drinking cold blood (most vampires do tbh)

He got high once in highschool with his friends and ended up having a psychotic episode, so. He doesn't take drugs other than his prescription anti-psychotics now!! and his sleep meds. nocturnalism be damned...

He visited Chilchuck's store ONCE with his dad and the only reason he keeps coming back is to hit on Chil. Chil hates (?) this, Vi buys absolutely nothing and just follows him around pretending to be interested until he can try his luck again. His dad and chil are acquaintances with each other (divorced fathers get along) but .. fucking... Vi is sabotaging that relationship just by being a nuisance. He wants that hot halfling dilf to pound him out of frustration. Chilchuck hasn't asked him to stop yet... So Vi takes that as a sign that he can keep showing up! He's waiting for Chilchuck to break so he can get that hate sex he's been dreaming about since he met the guy

He acts pretty normal at work, and tries to keep a decent relationship with his coworkers (Laios + Kabru)

He is thirsting after Namari, she goes to the store he works at for groceries and.. he gets heart palpitations when she talks to him. Luckily his blood is rotten bc he's dead, so he doesn't blush! But if he was alive, you know his pasty ass would be bright fucking red. Namari is the only person he gets this nervous speaking to, tbh. He's usually really chill, or unabashedly freaky on main. This is the only time he considers thinking of a definition for romantic love, because. It feels different from platonic love. (Or what he calls platonic love at least) It's also very much a sexual attraction thing, but! There's something more?!

He's vers btw, and he low-key wants to fuck Kabru ... He has a thing for pretty twinks and dirty butches, sigh.

He wears open flannels, low cut tank tops, sometimes a band or graphic tee, and ripped jeans. He owns 2 sneaker pairs, one of the pairs is one size too big and the other is half a size too small, and then he has his combat boots that r actually the correct size but take too long to put on so he only wears them occasionally. He also wears crosses out of spite since he's a vampire and the world's biggest sinner.

He has a blade tattoo bc he thinks blade is hot and he had a crush on Deacon Frost from the first movie. He's so fucking gay oh my god

He has way too many accessories. And clothes in general tbh. But he's prepared for any occasion....

He has the vibes and personality of a stoner but bro doesn't even drink alcohol. He's too scared to do anything like that. Poser tbh

Hrmmm... Ask me questions about him idk

Oh he doesn't sweat and he wears mostly full body clothing in the day time, just to keep the sun away. Yes he gets crispy in the sun... Not a metaphor he starts to burn up and his skin turns to ashes. Vampire business.

He doesn't like telling people that he's a vampire bc of stigma around it, but he doesn't try to hide it either? It's something most people figure out pretty early on without him having to explain it lol. Also he doesn't like being sexualized bc of his vampirism, he wants you to sexualize him because he's a stinky hairy freak that likes getting pegged by older women. Not because of some stereotype u made up in ur head about him.

That's all I know for now...