#// or do you think the second page would be a good thing to dump here too because..... it's the story hook...

[cwbuggo]

(next ☞)

[checkeredflagggs]

Share the Spotlight

pairing: charles leclerc x sm admin!reader

summary: an unofficial fan account gets a little unhinged until it doesn’t…

a/n: well I was planning out a different piece and this one formed like completely done in my head so…

a/n2: also this picture of charles is just fucking godlike 👌🏻👌🏻

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, cl16wife, and 2,123,294 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: and so the season starts!!

view all comments

user1: this is gonna be our year! I can feel it

↳user2: Forza Ferrari Sempre!🏎️🏎️

↳user1: Forza Ferrari Sempre! ❤️

charles_leclerc: 😁 it’s good to be back!

↳user3: WDC incoming! All the signs point to it! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳charles_leclerc: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳user3: omg I’m gonna faint! 🥳🥰😊

user4: god could they look any hotter???

↳user5: I know right??? Like leave a little for the rest of us!

↳user6: 🕰️ timing it till cl16wife gets here…

↳user7: I was just about to say the same thing 😆

↳cl16wife: I felt a disturbance in the force and I came running

↳cl16wife: holy shit I’m wet

↳cl16wife: just give me one chance I’ll give you head so good it’ll change your life 🥵🥵

↳user6: 🤣 you need to keep it pg

↳user8: girlie you need to get a life

↳cl16wife: I have one and I’ve decided to devote it to being on my knees for the hottest man ever

carlossainz55: it’s great to be back!

↳landonorris: don’t sound so happy you muppet! We were supposed to go golfing this weekend!

↳carlossainz55: Ferrari first!

↳landonorris: then me right?

↳carlossainz55: no

↳landonorris: what!!

↳carlossainz55: you rank about 10th

↳landonorris: WHAT!!

↳user9: I’ll put you first!

↳landonorris: I’m good with 10th

cl16wife: god please just give me one chance 🙏🙏

↳user10: girl I think he might give you a restraining order

twitter

cl16wife

liked by user, user, user and 234,455 others

cl16wife: my man being a whore on main…🤤🥵

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user11: girl… I see the vision

user12: this is disgusting behavior. Just because he’s an athlete doesn’t mean you have the right to objectify him

↳cl16wife: you’re the one who followed me and this has been the type of content on my page for years. Leave or shut up

user13: I knew as soon as I saw his photo dump cl16wife would be there

↳cl16wife: my man be looking fine as fuck lately. Of course I’m gonna be there

cl16wife: doggy, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, cuddlefuck, side fuck, mating press, 69, upside down, full nelson, pile driver, one leg up, tied up, in the shower, in the kitchen, on the floor, on the wall, on the couch, in the garden, on the grass, in a car, till the mattress is wrung out and soggy, till he molds it to the shape of his dick, till my throat needs stitches, till my hips are dislocated, till my pelvis snaps, till my jaw is locked, till my body is numb, till the wall paint is peeling off, till he’s shooting blanks, till the house falls apart

↳user14: I’ve got something for you!

↳cl16wife: yeah?

↳user14: it’s a bible and a restraining order Jesus Christ

↳cl16wife: sorry only accepting Charles Leclerc as a gift!

scuderiaferrari

liked by charles_leclerc, cl16wife, carlossainz55 and 1,790,469 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: and that’s how you do it! March and April were made to be Ferrari red! 5 Ferrari 1-2 wins and our Charles Leclerc is leading the championship battle with Carlos Sainz in a close second! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

view all comments

user15: I TOLD YOU! ITS OUR YEAR

↳user16: god I don’t want to get my hopes up yet but please please please 🙏🙏🙏

↳user17: I know we as Tifosi are delulu to the extreme but I think it’s finally gonna go our way! 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽

charles_leclerc: ☺️ the world looks good from the top step

↳cl16wife: you look good on top 🥵🥵

↳user20: not on his thread girl

↳user21: boundaries! Are! Important!

↳scuderiaferrari:…👀👀👀

↳scuderiaferrari: anyway! Congratulations Charles! Our il predestinato! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳charles_leclerc: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

user18: is this what Red Bull fans felt like last year?

↳user19: yes. Yes it is — I don’t really like for the fact we aren’t winning this year but I guess if it hadn’t be someone leclerc is an alright option

↳user18: you can show some more enthusiasm you know — even max is proud of Charles! You should see his face when he goes to congratulate Charles

↳user19:… I guess

carlossainz55: great start!! Let’s keep the momentum up

↳scuderiaferrari: couldn’t have put it better myself chili 🌶️!!

↳scuderiaferrari: proud of both our boys up there on those podiums! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳carlossainz55: Forza Ferrari Sempre!

scuderiaferrari

liked by carlossainz55, charles_leclerc, cl16wife, and 2,590,278 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

scuderiaferrari: heading into summer break with a commanding lead! Our il predestinato has a commanding lead with Carlos coming in strong at 2nd! We’ll be back in August just as strong!

view all comments

user22: I’m literally on my knees asking for a boring second half of the season

↳user23: no but for real. Let’s do a couple dozen laps of no crashes and no over takes

↳user22: 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻

cl16wife: I am literally on my hands and knees for this man holy god

↳user24: I am literally spraying you with a water bottle

↳cl16wife: leave me alone! I’m just a girl

↳user24: you’re totally not

↳cl16wife: 🥲😭😢

charles_leclerc: you flatter me 🥰

↳user25: you’ve got this Charles!! WDC incoming!!

↳user26: our il predestinato!!

↳user27: woohoo!! Forza Ferrari Sempre!

↳maxverstappen1: congrats Charles

↳charles_leclerc: merci!

↳maxverstappen1: don’t get used to it however. I’m gonna make you work for it in August

↳charles_leclerc: like you did in the first half?

↳maxverstappen1: 😑

carlossainz55: we look good in 1-2!

↳charles_leclerc: we do! We’ll just have to keep doing it!

↳carlossainz55: ¡Absolutamente!

Private Messages

twitter

twitter

user28: and when I say something controversial?

↳user29: I’m sat. I’m listening.

↳user28: I think it’s Charles Leclerc and cl16wife

↳user29: what???

↳user28: ok no but listen

↳user28: whoever is that fan account has been relentlessly flirting and thirsting over Charles on his own page AND ON the official Ferrari page

↳user28: they are legitimately the first or second to like the new posts and comment on them

↳user28: and they haven’t been reported yet! Ferrari reports people fast for that kind of behavior on the official account

↳user28: but cl16wife? They back off at like the exact right time so that they don’t get caught

↳user28: so not only do I think it’s Charles and the fan account — I think the fan account and the official account are run by the same person

↳user29:…

↳user29: ok let’s get you back to bed now

↳user29: NURSE! She’s out again!

↳user28: just wait and see. I know I’m right

charles_leclerc

liked by arthur_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 2,778,445 others

charles_leclerc: break time means boat time ☺️

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user30: hot hot hot 🥵

↳user31: yes yes he’s hot BUT WHAT ABOUT THOSE 3RD AND 4TH PHOTOS?!????

↳user31: THAT IS A WOMENS HAND

user32: Charles!! Explain! Yourself!!!

↳user33: since when does he have a girlfriend????

↳user32: THATS WHAT WE ALL WANT TO KNOW!!!

arthur_leclerc: without your favorite brother?

↳charles_leclerc: Enzo was busy?

↳arthur_leclerc: the betrayal…

↳charles_leclerc: 🤷🏼‍♂️

user34: ok but where is cl16wife?? That’s 2 shirtless photos of Charles and she’s been quiet

↳user35: right? She’s usually the first to like and comment

↳user28: I TOLD YOU!!

↳user29: oh my god you’ve escaped containment. Let it go

↳user28: CHARLES IS DATING CL16WIFE

↳user29: 🤦

user36: ok but he knows what he’s doing…that little smiley face at the end??? Such a cunty move

↳user37: right? Drops a photo dump with some SHIRTLESS photos and a new GIRLDFRIEND?? And just leaves us with a demure little emoji…

cl16wife

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user, and 882,445 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, carlossainz55

cl16wife: CHARLES LECLERC IS YOUR WORLD CHAMPION! IL PREDESTINATO HAS DONE IT!!

CARLOS SAINZ IS YOUR VICE CHAMPION!

FERRARI IS THE CONSTRUCTORS CHAMPION!

What an amazing season this has been! Congrats again to Charles and Carlos!

FORZA FERRARI SEMPRE!!

view all comments

user38: OH! MY! GOD!!

↳user39: YOU’RE THE FERRARI ADMIN

↳user28: I FUCKING TOLD YOU BITCHES

↳user40: oh my good I can’t believe you’re right

user41: plot twist of the fucking century

↳user42: am I drunk? Like did I imbue something somehow???

charles_leclerc: chérie cl16wife

↳cl16wife: yes?

↳cl16wife: oh shit

cl16wife

Private Messages

cl16wife

liked by charles_leclerc, user, user, and 1,753,532 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

cl16wife: lol i knew wag life would suit me better anyway 😂😂

Btw he’s MINE SO WATCH YOURSELVES

comments have been restricted on this post

charles_leclerc: awwww 🥰🥰🥰 chérie…any life where you’re by my side suit you

charles_leclerc: and you’re mine too

charles_leclerc: and you made a lot of promises this season🧎🧎 …

↳cl16wife: literally sprinting to you right now 🤤🥵

[roosterforme]

Can i request some smutty bob x maria goodness pls 🙏 I'm desperate to know what happens in that apartment after hours 👉👌👅👀 thank yew

Let's not forget the first time Maria invited Bob to bed.... that's right here. But once things are established, they get at it all the time. Here's a peek at their "after hours" activities:

Maria was not one to wait around for a man. In fact, she never ever had before she started dating Bob. Now she found herself constantly waiting for him, and it didn't bother her one bit. She faithfully waited for him to return from his deployment after scaring herself into thinking he would dump her before he left. He didn't. He never planned to. And he spent hours proving to her how desperately he wanted her to still be his when he got home.

Tonight she took a shower after taekwondo and made herself a snack while her roommate turned boyfriend played his Dungeons & Dragons campaign. She noticed his copy of the Players Handbook was open on the coffee table when she took her bowl of ice cream to the couch.

"The Rope of Entanglement," she muttered, skimming the page about rare magical items. "Fascinating."

She didn't play herself, but Bob had for over a decade, and she actually found it hot. Somehow he checked her top two boxes at the same time: a strong guy who could match her enthusiasm in bed and a sweet nerd who she could make blush. He kept gifting her his favorite, most sparkly dice, and she had them lined up on the vanity in her bedroom. Well, their bedroom. The second bedroom was basically vacant once again.

When she finished her ice cream, her gaze fell to the book once again, and she smiled knowing Bob would be home soon.

--------

"Maria?" Bob called out as soon as he got home. Her taekwondo class let out hours ago, and just as he did every week now, he contemplated skipping out on his friends to spend more time with her.

"In the bedroom," she replied, and he started kicking his shoes off. His recent deployment had been long and lonely, especially now that he had a girlfriend and an apartment that really felt like home.

When he reached the doorway, he froze. His girlfriend was laying in bed wearing his bathrobe which was way too large on her. "Hi," he murmured, licking his lips as his hand settled next to the fly of his jeans. "What are you doing?" he asked

She shifted a little bit, and Bob could see her dark, furled nipple peek out from the robe as she pulled the sash belt free. "You left your Dungeons & Dragons handbook open again," she whispered, wrapping the belt around her wrists. "I was reading about The Rope of Entanglement. I thought we could have a little fun?"

Bob swallowed hard. "Technically I should roll for a dexterity saving throw right now," he grunted, unzipping his jeans. "But I think I'd like to show you my rope trick instead."

"What's your rope trick?" Maria asked, eyes lighting up as she sat on the edge of the bed.

Bob stopped right in front of her, leaned down, and deftly tied her hands behind her back with the belt. Then he pulled himself free from his jeans, and guided his cock to her lips.

"It's a spell. You have to touch my rope and make it hard. Then it will rise up in the air."

Bob's eyes rolled back as she kissed him and lapped up the bead of precum forming. "Is this really a D&D spell?" she asked before parting her lips.

"It absolutely is," he whispered, tracing her lips with the tip of his cock.

"I can't believe you play this filthy game with your friends," she replied, taking him deep with one fluid motion.

Bob moaned and let his fingers sink into her curly hair. "Somehow it's only filthy when I tell you about it."

Once she had his cock sloppy with her saliva, Bob pushed her down onto the bed and fucked her with her hands pinned beneath her body. Her tits were bouncing beautifully, and her voice was rising in pitch as she chanted his name. Bob finally had a girlfriend who seemed to enjoy his nerdy side every bit as much as she enjoyed having sex with him.

"You look so pretty like this," he mused between labored breaths as he fucked her harder. "Gonna look even better when I cum on your tits." And she did. She really did as she writhed beneath him, hands tucked snug beneath her as he jerked off onto her chest.

[blenselche]

ch 2 KY Redux excerpt under cut

When [Finn] finally drags his head from between his knees and rejoins them Betty is petting her fingers down the spine of the Enchiridion, handed over by Fern in his knowledge of its theft from the Farm dimension.

“You know, Simon and I spent a very exciting expedition hunting for this,” she smiles sadly, “he would have loved it here.” She looks toward him, detangling a long chain of linked wire clothes hangers and her eyes grow misty and distant. “I hope some part of him is in there, enjoying what Ooo is… enjoying your company, hearing me, as cruel as that would be.” She takes a deep breath, frown turning to a wide, toothy grin as she opens it. “You need something that will counteract elemental magic…” she licks her thumb and begins to page through the tome.

“You okay?” Fern wipes the side of his fist against Finn’s face, tears absorbing into his skin.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure how to feel,” Finn answers blankly. “I’ve been having a weird week. I just want to sleep, have a long weekend. Do nothing.”

“It’ll be over soon. You told me not to doubt you, so I'm not. Should take your own advice.”

Frieda hovers at Betty’s elbow, recording each page with her module and speed talking under her breath as she annotates each timecode.

“Are you in academia? I get that vibe,” she turns to ask, eyes not leaving the hologram recording.

“I was, once. My brain doesn’t stay still long enough to focus or process my esoteric anthropological interests these days. Madness takes your mind from you.” Betty nudges her with her hip. “Don’t do magic, wise tip.”

“I’ve been told, yes.” Frieda and Fern’s eyes meet. “I wonder why that is.”

“It does something to our GABA and histamines, damages the amygdala. That’s my assumption. I’m not big on medicinal disciplines, though, just an observation on my own symptoms. Regulation is a big one, empathy, sleep-wake cycle, chemical imbalance, anxiety, impulsivity, antisocial behavior, agitation. Rage. Euphoria. It’s like having awful rapid cycling bipolar. But worse.” Betty turns one page per second, speed scanning. “Want me to slow down?”

“Oh, no. Not at all. I’ve got this on tape.” Betty freezes, shoulders hitching past her chin, only relaxing when Frieda goes on to clarify with “it’s only transcribing my voice, don’t worry.”

“Oh, good.” She deflates, letting out a small, manic giggle. “If your recording ends up being the only archive of this one day I’d be mortified to be dumping my trauma in the footnotes.” Betty winks at her. “I did that enough in grad school.”

Frieda laughs loud and freely, and Fern thinks they’d make good friends if Betty was still capable of that sort of thing.

[bigskydreaming]

The Vampire Daniel Molloy, when Louis asks what he's looking forward to most about the next stage of his newly immortal life:

Hmm. With how much my maker already complains about me ruining his life and how every day I give him a new reason to regret ever siring me, if I had to pick just one thing, I'd say the thing I'm most looking forward to is when I hit vampire puberty.

Louis: ....

Daniel: Vampire puberty's when the really wild superpowers kick in, right?

Louis: I suppose technically that's not....inaccurate.

Daniel: Hey, what are the chances of me getting the 'set shit on fire with my brain' thing you've got? Can you even imagine how much that would piss him off? His disappointment of a fledgling having the same gifts as the ex who dumped his ass....oh, man. C'mon now. I bet I could do some real damage with that.

Louis: Actually, while we're near the subject: would you please stop introducing yourself as 'the reason your vampire parents got divorced?'

Daniel: No, Louis, Louis! You're not getting it, see....the thing that makes it funny is its true.

Louis: You've really decided to lean into the whole 'second childhood' angle, huh.

Daniel: Mmmm. And just think. If you'd turned me fifty years ago when I first asked, I'd be well past this stage by now. And also still twenty. And hot.

Louis: Ahh. Its like that, then, is it.

Daniel: Oh, only a little bit. Really though, its like, every day I discover a new way to make Armand rue my very existence all over again, and maybe I'm just a simple man with simple needs, because that's just....very fun for me. I mean, there's just something extra validating in knowing the guy you're all "fuck that guy, I hate him, he sucks" about hates you waaaay more than you can be bothered to hate him. Because then its like you win the feud, right? You still get to hate that guy, which is great, because fuck that guy, he sucks, but you also get to know your very existence drives him way crazier than his ever makes you, and I mean, let's be real. Who doesn't like winning things?

Louis: Well I'm so glad you've found something that gives you a sense of purpose at least. Its very -

Daniel: Yeah, yeah, immortal blood drinkers need hobbies other than mass murder, it keeps the body count low and is good for the environment. Relax. I know. I literally wrote the book on it. You were there.

Louis: That's what you got out of it?

Daniel: Why, did you want me to fixate on your sex scenes instead? That seems weird. A little narcissistic even. And at the risk of self-awareness, when I'm the one -

Louis: Right. Well. I just wanted to make sure you had something to focus your energies on. It can all be a bit overwhelming at first and with your level of public attention at the moment, its very crit -

Daniel: Nope, all good here. Got myself a steady supply of Deadbeat Dad jokes that make my maker's eye twitch - apparently base word play is "gauche" or some shit - ugh, my god, its like nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and I only ate one of the editors on my shitlist to test drive my shiny new murder skills. He had this thing about Oxford commas, used to bug the crap out of me. Its like we get it, you hate them. They're literally dots on a page, they can't hurt you, can we please move on....

Louis: ....

Daniel: Louis, I'm kidding. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I already decided I find emotional evisceration way more satisfying than the physical version. Less clean up and it lasts longer anyway. I'm not going to get myself into trouble by cosplaying as Jack the Ripper where paparazzi can catch me red-fanged, and even if I do, I hereby absolve you of all responsibility. You can stop mother-henning me, you didn't turn me, you literally said no when I begged you to, its the whole reason I have eternal wrinkles instead of youthful tautness.

Louis: Not gonna let that one go, are you.

Daniel: Gimme a few centuries and ask me again. I'll let you know then.

Louis: Mmhmm. So this was....memorable and we definitely won't be doing it again. But you do seem to have things figured out so I'll leave you to it, then.

Daniel: Wait, Louis, don't go! Don't you want to hear my five-century life plan for annoying Armand into an early retirement mausoleum? I made visual aids!

Louis: Goodbye, Daniel.

Daniel: Fine, leave then! I don't care! You're not my real dad anyway! Et cetera, et cetera!

[autistic-crypt1d]

X-Files Live Blogging:

Season 1

Ok so I'm like 90% sure I've tried to watch the first episode before and bailed but I'm gonna try again. I see so much stuff about this show on here and I wanna be a part of it so you're gonna join me in experiencing it for the first time!

Updates:

- ok so far this is not at all what I remembered so high hopes

- Scully!!

- I've seen these two in so many drawingssss

- man this show is old old

- they're both so pretty

- why is bro so mad, if he's so confident he didn't miss anything why is he mad they're taking a second look? Not a good look my guy

- OOP

- oh wowie that is grossss

- ok this is cool I like this show

- why is it always POURING in old ass shows. Like it's dumping BUCKETS.

- ah man not a damn shower scene

- oh ok, valid reason

- THEY'RE SO CUTE

- THE HUG

- ooooo backstory timeeee

- this is getting good oh wow

- yikes, Scully don't call people vegetables

- I really hope this show doesn't have tooo much yikes stuff. I know it's old but still some shows are a bajillion times worse than others.

- holy shit that subconscious movement towards her???? AHHHHH

- the produce section???? Good fucking god people

- if he knew it was Billy why wouldn't he cuff him to the bed or have him in a secure room or some shit???

- wtf just happened

- alright wtf is up with tall lanky man he's weirding me out

- yoooo they have more of those implant things!!

- ok I still don't understand some things about the case. Why were all the other kids killed when Billy brought them to the woods but not the last girl? Why was she spared and both her and Billy's marks removed?

- Deep Throat, hate that title omfg

- pffft those MIP outfits look ridiculous, and so are their momements omfg

- long ass intro geez

- pffft the way Mulder just drags her out of the car

- that little smile!!!

- it's so weird seeing seatbelts attached to car doors

- is that Colonel Makepeace from Stargate???

- Mulderrrr don't go without Scully you dumb dumb!!

- please don't step on a landmine

- oh shit alien ship

- see this is why you need Scully, who's gonna verify what you saw now

- ah yes, run along the road where the cars can follow you, definitely not back into the grass where it would be difficult to follow

- Scully is gonna kick your asses for kidnapping him

- OH SHIT

- GET HIS ASS SCULLY

- HERE SHE COMES, PREPARE TO BE WHOOPED

- aw Mulder :(

- she's trying so hard to protect him

- damn I really like this show

- Squeeze

- oh wow hate that, creepy eyeballs in a sewer

- I recognize that business guy, he's been in another show I've watched, Psych maybe?

- not the ketchup blood XD

- sorry I gotta skip the into, that shit is so long

- that's where the "spooky? Do you think I'm spooky?" audio came from?????

- boy howdy vent guy is creepy

- the necklace grab??? HELLO????

- YEEESH those damn eyes dude

- oh boy he stretchin

- YOU TELL HIM DANA

- woah they just mentioned 2023 as the distant future that's wild to hear in 2024 haha

- that brown pantsuit Scully is wearing??? WOW

- hey now, don't be grabbing Scully you slithery fuck

- Colton you suck

- DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT SLITHERY BASTARD

- LEAVE THE HOUSE SCULLY WHAT'RE YOU DOING

- nice work team

- aww the retired guy finally got closure 😭

- THE SOFT ARM TOUCH

- uhhhhh idk that that cell is good enough y'all

- I don't like that grin he's got, he's gonna escape isn't he

- Conduit

- sleeping outside with no tent??? Girl what about snakes and ants and things???

- she put her children out there while she slept in there camper??? Wtf???

- THE LEAN INNNN

- man that lake is gorgeous

- did the sherriff really just scratch his damn chin with evidence

- intense Mulder, oof!

- wooooaaaah that code page thing of Ruby is so cool

- ahhhh I love Mulder lore

- that tackleeee, nice moves Mulder

- why is she doing CPR if she's just unconscious??

- AHHHH dude the way Mulder gently directs Scully with a soft touch, BRO

- I can't get over the fact that his first name is Fox

- Dana has looked fantastic in literally every outfit so far, she's so cool

- geez y'all the tape is so sad wtf

- "I want to believe" OW OW OW OW OW

- Jersey Devil

- oh wow I haven't heard Bingo in a long ass time

- is that Bill Lee from Stargate??

- oop, Bill Lee hath been taken

- y'all, the way these two look at eachother??? And how close they get?? CONSTANTLY?? BRUH

- aha! She thinks he's cute!

- oh hey it's that asshole scientist from Eureka

- I recognize the guy who plays the homeless man helping Mulder but idk where from

- Mulder. Mulder please why do you always do these things alone

- I'm sorry I cannot take you seriously handing that guy that goofy ass drawing

- good god dude it's a first date why are you talking about her meeting your kids

- not the bigfoot with tits picture 😂

- ya know, I really appreciate the ranger being on their side in this

- ah it's those damn MIP guys again

- Anthropologist dude rules for not selling them out

- damn he really just leapt out that window

- oh she did too damn!

- run!!

- OOP

- so they're just cannibals? Nothing supernatural?

- THE GRAB AS SHE LAYS HIM BACK OMFG

- oh boy it's gettin wild now!

- that poor actress having to climb all over rocks while naked

- aw man :(

- I would've expected long nails considering she's been clawing into people

- the red plaid suit??? Hello??? GORGEOUS

- why would that Rob dude ask her to get her friend's kid to go hang out with him and his kid???? Bro is weird

- uhhhh that's the dude from the beginning, didn't his leg get chewed off my the male?? I'm confused because that was most definitely the guy from the beginning.

- Shadows

- the woman packing up the office looks really familiar too

- ooo, ghost??

- there's no ads on this episode, weird

- eew I do noooooot like the twitching

- why tf are they all blank facing them

- the way he leans in to speak to her heeeeeellllpppp

- ok so the woman who got attacked is alive

- AHHHHHHH CREEPY CREEPY CREEPY

- hell yeah ghost, stop that creepy perv!!

- did Mulder just look at her ass when she sat down?? He did a whole ass lean and everything!

- awww Mulder wanting to go to the liberty bell with Scully 😭

- Ghost in the Machine

- Brad dude is from Eureka!! Funnily enough the company is called Eurisko, really close

- Mulder. Buddy. You did not just call and elevator politically correct for being accessible to the visually impaired. That's just accessibility, nothing political about that (or at least there shouldn't be).

- Lamana, you suck

- yeah Mulder you tell him!!

- noooo don't back down :(

- is that Harrison Well's house from The Flash???? Am I imagining this??

- oh my god no I just googled images of it, that's the same house!!!

- uh oh, he's gonna die isn't he

- ah crap Mulder thinks Brian did it doesn't he

- he doesn't!!! Phew

- GEKDJDJS I THOUGHT THAT WAS GONNA BE SO MUCH WORSE OMFG

- secret agents Scully and Mulder let's goooo

- uh oh

- why tf is there debris in the vent system. Whose receipts are those???

- OH NO

- MULDER DO SOMETHING

- BRUH

- LET'S GO SCULLY

- biiiiiiiitch nooooooooo

- Ice

- why does bro have 2 identical boob cuts, 1 on each. They also look very unrealistic.

- what in the fresh hell is happening

- the duo is goin to Alaska!

- there's some funky virus in the ice isn't there. Reminds me of that one Eureka episode

- GET HIM SCULLY

- he is so not gonna be ok

- EEW

- oh yeah he dead

- nooooo sports guy 😭

- man I hate Scully and Mulder being on opposing sides :(

- AHHHHH NOOOOOO

- this isn't gonna be the end of it is it

- this show really doesn't do closure closure does it, every episode is just like, welp it could 1000% come back

- Space

- ooooo spaceeeee

- I recognize the ex astronaut security guy from something

- MAYBOURNE??? YUCK. Hopefully he's not a jackass in this show

- again with the damn buckets of water on the windshield

- wtf was that????

- aaaaand it's magically not raining anymore. It's not even wet!!!!

- yeeesh him looking in the mirror like that was so creepy

- oh what in the fresh hell is happening to his face

- y'all this is intense!!!

- HELL YEAH

- I don't really understand why the space thing wanted to kill the astronauts

- Fallen Angel

- Mulder in a leather jacket???

- Mulder hiding under a truck and sneaking around a military base like a secret agent while wearing a leather jacket???

- see this is what happens when you go investigating without Scully

- I'm sorry I cannot take Mulder seriously as mr tough guy, he's just so baby

- ah here comes Scully to rescue his ass

- uhhhh is that an invisibility thing

- ow I hate those flashing lights

- ok immune to laser fence thing

- "it won't get away" already did my guy

- or maybe it didn't?

- the face that soldier Jackson is making is rage inducing, please stop

- welp, the entity made my wish come true I guess

- Mulder is so sweet 😭

- y'all the lenses they're using as the pov for the entity is making me sick

- Scully is so sick of this shit XD

- wtf is it doing to him??

- seems like a lot of trouble to go through just to take one human, I wonder why they're doing it

- I wish we got more insight into Scully's thoughts through all this. She's been seeing a loooot of stuff since she got paired with Mulder and given her skepticism, I'd just really like to know what's going through her head in all this.

- Eve

- ooooo, vampire??

- CLONES???

- well, I'm a little confused as to why they're killing them by draining their blood still

- ah ok so the little girls DID do it

- why tf would she try again knowing what the other Eves were like. Why are people obsessed with making perfect humans, what's the point of life if not to learn and grow?

- man they are playing them like a damn fiddle!!

- uh oh

- WHY WOULD YOU LICK IT

- hey now, that better not be who I think it is

- god damn it, it is

- yeesh what an episode

- this show is nothing but cliff hangers wtf!!!

- Fire

- OH

- who tf is that and why is she smooching Mulder

- yes she does hate you, your smooching her weirdo

- where tf do I know her from?

- is that Crowley????

- I couldn't tell with the facial hair before I thought he just looked similar, but without it yeah!

- ahhhhhh I don't like these zoom inssss

- ah yes smoke a cigarette when you have a cough, that'll help

- interesting

- you tell him Michael!!!

- seriously? They can't drive themselves even once??

- I REMEMBER WHERE I KNOW HER FROM. She played the woman that chief Vick set Henry Spencer up with in Psych!!

- BRUH, DO NOT HOOK UP WITH HER

- Scully came anyway 😭

- maybe if y'all weren't MAKING OUT AT WORK, you would've noticed!!!

- you got this Mulder come on

- come on Mulder!!!!

- damn it dude

- so she's been hitting on Mulder the entire time while having an affair with the husband???

- man this guy really gets typecasted huh, first this pyrokinetic serial killer, then the king of hell!

- yes Mulder!! Face your fears!!!

- welp, looks like his cockiness killed him. Do we finally get an actual ending???

- nope he's alive, great

- a hyperbaric chamber?? You mean the thing filled with a fuck ton of oxygen??? So smart, definitely not INCREDIBLY FLAMMABLE.

- Beyond the Sea

- GENERAL HAMMOND????

- Scully's dad is General fuckin Hammond????

- he died :(

- THE FACE TOUCH

- oh shit, is the death of her father gonna be the thing that gets her to believe?

- "he was your father" that really does not answer her question

- I feel like I recognize Boggs from somewhere

- how tf is a prisoner allowed to have earrings. Also, he only had 1 in the first couple shots but now he has 2.

- now he has 1 again? Maybe they just had that one shot flipped so it looked like the other ear

- OOOO MULDER YOU SLY DOG

- OH FUCK

- Scully please don't go in there alooooone what is with these two!!!

- OH FUUUUCK

- dude the guy playing Boggs can fucking ACT like DAMN

- BERNIE, the dude that plays Boggs also played Bernie in Psych!!!

- HELL YEAH SCULLY

- it's so compelling to see what Mulders limits are in his belief, that he can blind himself to things he would ordinarily fight for others to see because of his history with the person

- she didn't go??

- he's trying to convince her to believe now? He's been denying it the whole episode!!!

- weird episode

- Genderbender

- uhhh I'm a bit scared of what this is gonna be about by that title, fingers crossed it's not transphobic shit and just a shapeshifter 🤞

- ok so yes a shapeshifter, and like, a succubus?

- uh oh

- so I'm guessing these people adopted this way of life to prevent hurting people? And this other one that's killing people has gone rogue?

- ah yes Mulder, crumple the map up instead of trying to find a land mark and reorient yourself

- what in the fresh hell

- AHHHHH I HATE THE GOOPY STUFF

- NO NO NO YOU LEAVE SCULLY ALONE

- YOU BASTARD HOW COULD YOU SHE WAS NICE TO YOU

- ok so they each have a male and female form?

- hope that damn farm boy perishes painfully for trying to do that shit

- ah yep, there's the transphobic comment ok.

- SHOOT HIS ASS

- damn it

- rapist aliens, hate it. I'll be skipping this one if I rewatch the series in the future

- Lazarus

- yeesh, I wonder if Scully will end up believing that the guy who came back isn't him anymore

- man they really fell into that pink blood trap from old shows didn't they

- idk how she could deny that that isn't him after this

- damn, that was dark

- Mulder not lushing her to believe either way ahhhhh ouchyyy

- Young at Heart

- uhhhh, what is a prisoner doing roaming around

- UHHHHH WTF

- y'all, Scully is so little 😭 I know Mulder is like super tall but even compared to other women she's little, much less when standing in a room of Mulder height people XD

- oof more Mulder lore, man cannot catch a break

- damn, seeing old fashioned hand writing analysis be done is so cool, even in NCIS, a fairly old crime show, they still use tech for it. Hearing her talk about the markers and indicators is so so neat

- BITCH YOU BETTER NOT HURT SCULLY

- I recognize Dr. Ridley from something...

- it's the time loop guy from Stargate SG-1!!!

- the way young Barnette speaks is rage inducing

- E.B.E.

- oh wow that's quite a ship

- what's with the blue light thing?

- "Mulder you're the only one I trust" BROOOOOOO

- oh hey it's the woman who plays the tech on the Daedalus in Stargate who works with Hermiod!!

- HIS CODENAME IS DEEP THROAT????

- LET HIM LOOK ANYWAYYYY

- of course it's gone

- Miracle Man

- ah man a religious episode

- who tf subjects a child to that

- ughhhhhh

- yeah that's not creepy at all!!!

- gross gross gross I hate it

- the burned guy is the problem right? He's like channeling the boy and taking the lives of those that die? And maybe he's super against the autopsies because "desecrating" the body will undo it or something? Idk I'm guessing here cuz I'm confused

- oh shit Scully is doing the autopsy? Intense, aw man and Mulder is trying his best to be there

- oh ok so that's not what's happening

- uh oh

- ok it was the burned guy I was right!! He just wasn't doing it supernaturally

- oh wow

- Shapes

- oooo cryptid??

- ok so if you get scratched you get infected. It went from Joe to Lyle

- I wonder what triggers a new one once it's killed, cuz there was a distance between the killings in the past

- oh, so it's dormant until a night after the person gets too blood lusty?

- damn it, why is Scully always being left alone with the monsters or bad guys and Mulder is always chasing them alone

- how is she not hearing the loud ass growling sounds

- also, why is there a random ass cougar in a cage

- "something" jumped you?? Really Scully?? There was only one thing in that bathroom

- Darkness Falls

- wow those woods are gorgeous

- I'm very intrigued

- wtf was that shit

- oh my god Scully in that neon coat 😭 she's pretty in everything!!!

- I recognize the sherriff from somewhere

- Castle! He's in Castle

- oh boy, that creepy

- I recognize the Doug guy too

- holy crap it's THAT guy! Man he's like big time now

- ah so they got themselves killed by chopping down an ancient tree, karma

- Steve is the worst, hope he gets taken by bugs

- oh yeah he's done for

- OH HELL

- Tooms

- not the lizard bitch again

- AUGH THE EYESSSS

- who tf left his slot open!! Fools!!!

- Colonel Caldwell?!?!?

- do not release this mf

- Mulder, I hate to say it but that was never gonna fly

- welp, someone is gonna die now

- THAT MUCH SLURPING AND LICKING WAS SO UNNECESSARY AHHHHH

- nice work sheriff, nice work

- OH HELL NO

- bro is not about to come out of a toilet come on

- ok he didn't but he is disgusting anyway

- "Mulder, I wouldn't put myself on the line for anyone but you" BROOOOO "if there's an ice tea in that bag, could be love" "must be fate, Mulder. Root beer" THEY'RE SO IN LOVE OMFG

- black car, red interior, so cool

- Mulder's turn to be attacked by lizard guy

- wtf is he doing

- oh

- YEESH

- OH

- oh that is gross, but hey he's finally dead

- Born Again

- psychic kid?

- ok so dead guy is involved? Girl is a medium then? Like ghost whisperer?

- I recognize the Tony guy from something

- oh shit they murdered that dude

- I looked him up, he's been in a lot of stuff I've seen apparently, NCIS, Supernatural, Psych, SG-1, and I haven't seen Law and Order really but I think I recognize him from trailers and stuff

- maybe the girl witnessed the first dude's murder or was nearby? And she could see his spirit or something? Or maybe he just latched onto her?

- oh reincarnation, that makes more sense

- bro really helped murder his partner and then got with his wife

- wtf is that

- honestly this episode is really uninteresting to me

- interesting we got a report by Mulder instead of Scully at the end though

- Roland

- well fuck you ableist scientist dude

- he killed the not mean one :(

- I recognize Roland from something, probably Stargate

- alright well the era is showing here. They're talking about Autistic people like they're inherently stupid, that savants are human calculators who can't even understand what they're doing. I hope everyone who reads this and has or plans to watch this show understands that that is severely false. Autism is a spectrum and being autistic doesn't make you stupid, "unusual" speech and movement aren't indicative of intelligence. And having high support needs isn't indicative of intelligence either!

- poor guy, he doesn't wanna hurt anyone :(

- good riddance Arthur, some brother, taking him over and making him murder people

- He gave her his stars 😭 guysssss

- Erlenmeyer Flask

- wow that is quite a title

- the chase scene and the dude being semi invisible reminds me so much of the Replicator on Earth episode from SGA

- some sort of superhuman project maybe?

- god DAMN Mulder leapt that fence like it was nothing!!

- oooooo Scully is reaching the point of belief!!!!

- yeah a sort of superhuman project! Alien human hybrids

- oh shit they killed the doctor who helped them :(

- ah yes Mulder, go into the darm attic without a flashlight

- OOP

- oh god his face, poor Mulder 😭

- help him Scullyyyyy

- CONFIDENCE SCULLY, CONFIDENCE

- Dana, responsible, rule following, FBI agent Scully breaking a billion laws all for Fox Spooky Mulder

- how tf did she sneak that out of there

- are they gonna shoot him

- YEP

- Scully is never gonna be the same after this, at least she got Mulder back though

- you can't seperate the duo!!!! No!!!

Holy crap Season one was amazing, I'm gonna start season 2 immediately and I'll link it here once it's posted!

Season 2

[safflowerseason]

old dan x amy fanfiction

I'm trying to flex my rusty fanfiction writing muscles, and going through old files I found this old Dan x Amy story that I never finished. It was a fill-in-the-gaps fic set between S2 and S3 and the tentative summary was : "The two months between seasons two and three, or, the story of how Amy and Dan went to Mike’s wedding together." I always thought this was a kind of interesting period in the relationship...by the end of S2 Dan and Amy have clearly settled into their banter-y "work spouses" relationship and they start S3 literally attending a wedding together. But at the same time, they are also in open competition for the role of campaign manager...I was always intrigued by in the dynamics of that transition. Anyway, I never finished it--it got very long and unwieldy, surprise surprise--but if there are any old Dan/Amy fic readers still out there I thought I'd post the first few pages here. There's quite a bit of general ensemble banter as well, related to Mike's wedding. Enjoy!

The morning after they learn that POTUS (officially, cross his precious heart, no turning back now) will not be running for a second term, Dan comes into the office with a giant stack of paper and starts piling it ostentatiously all around his desk. 

“What is this? Some sort of political mating ritual? Are you building a nest egg?”

“Well now you wouldn’t know enough to say, would you, Amy?”

Unfortunately, Amy doesn’t have a good response immediately—she was up until 2am brainstorming campaign strategies, and she knows Dan was up until at least 1:45 because they were texting ideas back and forth until then—so she just returns to her coffee and Post headlines and ignores him while he bustles around trying to make as much noise as possible. 

Selina comes in late, trilling with brittle laughter and smiling manically—Gary trails her, looking mildly repulsed and mutters “Andrew” in Amy and Dan’s general direction. Amy grimaces and adds “figure out a way to get rid of Andrew permanently” to her list of things to do before the campaign starts. She wonders if it would be considered a misuse of government forces to have Special Ops just take him out.

Andrew notwithstanding, the mood in the office is better than it has been all year. Mike whistles when he gets back from the press gaggle and Dan doesn’t immediately tell him to shut up. People actually use the world “please.” Amy’s fully cognizant something is going to blow it all up soon, but for now, she’ll let them enjoy the first morning in a long time where they don’t have to feel bad about the trajectory of their careers. 

At the morning strategy meeting, they talk about the best way to move forward until POTUS announces he won’t be running, discuss events to add to or remove from the public schedule in light of the upcoming campaign, and at the end of the meeting Dan brandishes his giant stack of paper and announces: “Ma’am, it’s time for you to publish your book.”

“Oooh!” Gary exclaims. “A book! Can I be in it?”

“You’re definitely not in it, Gary.”

“Yeah, Gary, what would you be doing in my book?” Selina demands, and Gary slinks back into the corner. “Dan, is it really the right time for this kind of political kabuki?”

“We need to lay the foundation for your presidential run in a non-threatening manner by reintroducing you to the public in a way that subtly separates you from POTUS. A book tour is the best way to do that, and unfortunately, ma’am, we need a book for a book tour.” 

Amy regards him suspiciously: he’s doing that thing where he appears to sincerely care about his job. This is always cause for deep concern. 

“Ma’am, do I have to write a whole book now?” Mike asks, looking forlorn. Dan glares and unceremoniously dumps the stack of paper in his lap. Mike grunts. “What the fuck do you think this is, Mike? Your obituary?”

“Wait, you’ve already written it?” Amy exclaims, completely non-plussed. “Since yesterday?”

“Please Amy.” says Dan, looking superior.

“Well Dan, I’ve got to hand it to you…it looks like I won’t have to write a single word myself, which is, obviously, the ideal.” Selina’s already flipping through the chapters, looking interested in spite of herself (then again, it is a book about her). 

“It’s basically written, ma’am, we’ll just need to do a few informational sessions about your political career and personal life, to add in some expository information.”

“That sounds excruciating.” Selina sighs. “But if you think it’s absolutely necessary…”

“I promise you that I will make the experience as pleasant as possible.” Dan smiles the smile he gives rich political widows and young women with babies. Amy gets a very bad feeling in her stomach. 

“This is a trap but I can’t figure out how.” she mutters to Mike, and he just nods bleakly.

~*~

Everyone’s about to disperse when Mike calls out casually “Oh yeah, if everyone could finalize their RSVPs to the wedding by Tuesday, that’d be great.” 

The silence he is met with is deafening. 

“…what wedding?” Amy finally ventures.

Mike looks at her. “My wedding.”

“To who?”

“Whom.” Gary corrects, and then flinches as Dan glares at him. 

“My fiancée.” When they all look blank, Mike says, in a more annoyed tone of voice “You guys, we got engaged three months ago! We sent the invitations right after!”

“Mike, I have matters of global significance to attend to that are infinitely more important than your personal life. Infinitely more important.” 

“And who checks their mailbox in the twenty first century?” Dan muses. 

“Hey, I do!” Gary pipes up. “I knew you were getting married, Mike.”

“Sue!” Amy yells out. “When’s Mike’s wedding?”

“June 17th.” Sue reports promptly from her desk. “It’s tentatively on the veep’s schedule.”

“Jesus Christ,” exclaims Selina. “You scheduled your dumbass wedding right as prep for the primaries take off. Really, Mike?”

“Yeah, Mike.” Dan echoes sycophantically.

“It’s not like we knew you were going to run, ma’am.”

“Okay.” Amy clears her throat. Everyone falls silent. “Congratulations. Who is the…who is the woman?”

“Wendy Collins. She’s a fashion reporter for the Post.”

“A journalist?!” Selina explodes. The morning goes downhill from there.

~*~

Amy sends an intern home to sort through three months of unopened mail and retrieve Mike’s wedding invitation. The intern comes back with a lavender invitation printed with navy sail boats. 

“I can’t tell if you’re having a boy or getting married.” Dan snarks. 

“Oh my god, Mike, don’t you fucking dare have a kid.” God, a kid, can you fucking imagine, Amy would sooner slit her wrists. “I’m not getting stuck with just Dan on the campaign trail, he was the worst press secretary since whoever’s job it was to manage Hoover’s image.” Dan gives her the finger behind Selina’s back.

“I suppose it wouldn’t play well with the public if I didn’t attend my own press secretary’s wedding.” Selina sounds like she would rather do literally anything else. 

“Cheer up, ma’am. It’s entirely possible there could be a nuclear stand-off or a global health crisis that will require your attention.” Sue replies stoically.

“God, here’s hoping.” Selina stalks back into her office.

“I don’t know why you’re all so cranky, I love weddings. Sue, put it in big, bold letters so we make sure to schedule around the day.” 

“I think I can do my job without your input, Gary. ” 

“Gary!” Selina shouts from her desk. “I need some caffeine before my meeting with the Speaker, and if I could get it, you know, before I die…”

“Coming, ma’am.” 

~*~

“So when did you actually write this?” Amy asks Dan, later that afternoon. He’s commandeered the white board and is writing words like inspiration and reflection all over it in big letters. “Seriously. Even you cannot bullshit this fast.” 

“Oh, Amy.” Dan smirks. “Sweet, innocent Amy. You think this book is original? I’ve got ten different versions of it. You just change the background information depending on the politician, and boom—instant book.”

“So you’re just mindlessly reproducing soft bullshit narratives that appeal to the lowest common denominator of the American electorate.”

“Yep.” replies Dan, gleefully. “And it’s going to get her elected.”

~*~

A week after they learn about Mike’s wedding, Gary mopes into the office looking like a drowned possum. Selina’s in an endless meeting with the HUD secretary, and he spends the entire morning sighing dramatically over his desk until Sue finally snaps and asks him what’s wrong. 

“Dana and I had another fight….” he lowers his voice, “…about Selina.” 

“Dana who?” asks Dan. 

“I really feel like we all need to get better at remembering information about each other’s personal lives.” Mike complains. 

“We absolutely do not.” Amy contradicts. 

“It’s all right for you, everyone knows you’re dating Ed because he already works for Selina.”

“Yes, and I really regret that fact.” Also she’s not entirely sure they’re still dating, but she’s sure as hell not going to mention that in front of Dan. 

(It has become a-moment-to-which-they-do-not-ever-refer, when Dan had asked her to “grab a bite” after Catherine’s party, whatever that had meant and she couldn’t, because she had a date with Ed, and then Dan got inexplicably wasted with Jonah at Catherine’s make-up birthday dinner and they bonded over acting like jealous Neanderthals. But then the next day Dan called Jonah a malformed super-alien who emerged from leftover godzilla jizz, didn’t mention Ed, and everything went back to normal.)

“So what happened with you and Dan?” Ed asked, the next time they went out. “Did you, like, break his heart or something?”

“He…really hates Boston.” Amy mumbled into her whiskey, and then wondered what the fuck she was doing making excuses for Dan Egan. 

So anyway, they don’t talk about it.)

“Can we focus on me, please?” Gary’s demanding loudly. “Dana’s so mad that I’m still working here. She won’t even let me touch the cheese anymore.”

“So quit.” Dan suggests, sweetly.

“Dan,” Amy says warningly. Selina would have a fucking meltdown.

“Nice try, Dan.” Gary spits. “Selina already told me I can’t.” 

“So break up with Dana. She stole Selina’s lipstick and leaked your precious code to the press. She’s obviously trying to destroy your career.” 

“You have to be a man about it, Gary.” Sue tells him. “I know it’s an unfamiliar concept.”  

Gary agonizes all day. Mike ends up taking him out for a drink after Selina’s left for the evening. They come up back absolutely shit-faced around nine in the evening with the news that Gary is now officially Mike’s unofficial wedding planner. 

“How much did you have to drink?” Amy asks, disgusted. 

“Two margaritas.” Gary giggles. “And we decided on yellow as an accent color for the wedding.” 

“Wow.” says Dan. “I didn’t even know it was possible for you to be even less than a man than I thought.”

“Dan, how is Gary’s bag any different than what you carry around?” Mike slurs.

“Uh, mine isn’t filled with lipstick and tampons, for starters, Mike.” 

“No, just hair gel and skincare products.” Amy deadpans, and is rewarded when Dan gives her a dirty look over Gary’s head.

“You guys, this is extremely unprofessional behavior.” Jonah announces sanctimoniously, from where he’s lurking in the corner. “POTUS would not be pleased if he knew this is how the veep manages her office.”

“Jonah, you literally announce it when a female press aide gives you her business card to give to Kent.”

“They give me more than their business cards and you know it, Dan.”

In the end she and Dan have to put Gary to bed on the couch and pour Mike into a cab, and it doesn’t even make the top thirty list of humiliating things Amy’s done in the course of her tenure as VP chief of staff. 

“Why do I feel like Selina’s entire campaign is going to be us babysitting these idiots?” Dan mutters as they watch the cab disappear into traffic.

“Feel free to jump ship at any time, I won’t stop you.” 

Dan bares his teeth at her, that fake-innocent smile that’s definitely going to land him in prison one day. “Sorry, Ames, you’re not going to the moon without me.” 

“Pity that.”

 ~*~

To absolutely no one’s surprise, Dan is an obnoxious dickhead about Selina’s book. 

Due to the need to get the manuscript to print as quickly as possible, he demands an hour of one-on-one time with Selina every morning so he can mine anecdotes about her personal life and political career. Selina overrules both Amy and Sue and actually gives it to him. Something about how Andrew thinks the book is a good idea too. Fucking Andrew.

Well, that’s perfectly fine. Amy has plenty to do to prepare for the upcoming campaign, and it’s all much more important than Selina’s book. It absolutely does not matter that Dan always emerges from these private sessions looking even more smug than he usually does (if such a thing were possible). As though he knows all kinds of new secrets about Selina. Which he doesn’t. Amy already knows everything that needs to be known, and Gary knows what nobody needs to know.

Mike’s too preoccupied with his upcoming wedding to really make a pretense of caring about the book—or about work in general, so Dan’s writing and handling more of Mike’s duties (whatever they are, if he’s ever handled them, which is debatable). Theoretically, as chief of staff Amy should step in and make some noise about equitable handling of the VP’s communication strategy blah blah blah. But she figures Mike’s in love and Dan, as much as it pains her to admit it, has never shied away from more work.

*

Summer sets in over D.C., and the days get long and humid. The interns dig out the floor fans from storage, and Gary starts keeping scented silk handkerchiefs for Selina to dab on her neck and forehead whenever they have to cross the street. Dan bans Mike from coming anywhere his desk or personal items—“in case you contaminate anything with your flop sweat”—and Amy starts getting multiple invitations for Brookheimer summer family reunions that she, mercifully, has no time to attend. 

The House dithers over a pharmaceutical bill that’s dead on arrival in the Senate. Ben and Kent pop in from time to time with presidential updates. POTUS is reportedly planning a bunch of foreign policy spectacles in order to show off how relevant he is: state dinners, a tour of some East African refugee camps, a summit with Japan and South Korea…

“That’s just fine.” Selina tells Ben, her eyes glinting opportunistically. “Tell him he can spend the entire summer on his impotency tour. I’ve got everything under control here, in the actual United States of America.”  

“Yeah yeah yeah.” Ben replies, his mouth twisting into a smirk in spite of himself. “Try and contain your glee, ma’am.” 

They go to Baltimore to talk about violence in schools, then to Pennsylvania to talk to some steel workers. On the way back, Gary makes Mike a pros and cons chart about different kinds of wedding cake. 

Andrew lurks, popping up occasionally to take Selina to dinner or try and convince Sue to put some sketchy fundraiser on the schedule. She, Dan, and Sue develop a strategy to get him out of the office. Whenever he lingers, Amy gets a convenient call from the director of the Office of Investigations over at Treasury, and Andrew disappears within three seconds flat. It’s remarkably effective.

In between his information sessions with Selina, downplaying the inevitability of Selina’s campaign to the press, meetings with Amy on the Hill to try and derail a trade war with Mexico, and thinking of even more creative nicknames for Jonah, Dan writes the book.

~*~

It is, as Amy suspected, saccharine garbage. 

“Dan, you know this…this is fucking terrible, right?”

She’s perched on the arm of the loveseat; Dan’s sprawled over it, taking up a truly excessive amount of space with his long legs and arms. There are balls of paper scattered all around. Writing, based on the way Dan goes about it, looks a lot like dramatically crumpling up pieces of paper and lounging around on various pieces of furniture like he’s Jack fucking Kerouac.

“I mean, thank God you’ve already negotiated the publishing deal, because this is some serious—“

Dan throws a ball of paper at her. “You want your own book, get in line, Brookheimer.”

“Written by you? Pass.”

“Someone had to write it, Amy.”

“Like there aren’t fifty ghostwriters in this town more qualified than you.”

“I dare you to find even one.”

“Guys,” Sue intervenes, without even looking up from her computer. “Take it outside, please.” 

[justanotherfanartist]

heeey guys little social help here? (poll at the end)

get ready for a rare real life lore dump (yippee) because I have a social scenario I’m not sure how to handle. this is your chance to have input on my life like some sort of rpg (if you’re into that kind of thing lmfao)

(I really really hate outing my age range like this but I feel like it might impact peoples choices so. just know I’m on the older end alright)

So, I went to this nearby jazz festival on Saturday. Basically, it’s an event that pulls a bunch of local highschools and their upper and lower level jazz bands together (I’m in my schools lower level group) to compete for awards and finalist placements and stuff like that (very fun very cool experience every time) and something that’s become a habit of mine is scanning each group for anyone interesting and it just happened that there was this guy from another school’s upper band that really stood out to me.

He is genuinely one of the prettiest guys I’ve ever laid eyes on, bro is GORGEOUS and also an amazing trombone player with super clean tone (and was part of a killer trombone soli) so naturally I’m pretty smitten. For real as soon as you start playing an instrument yourself “being good at an instrument” is immediately something added to your type which makes going to these things an interesting experience.

Anyways, I thought he was attractive enough to try and shoot my shot (I do this kinda thing every so often especially if I think I’ll get rejected just as a confidence booster. works like a charm btw) so I made up my mind that hey, we all stash our instruments in the same place, so after the finalists concert when everybody goes to grab their gear and pack up I’ll go up to him and ask him if he wants my number before we all have to leave for the night. Pretty non instrusive introduction that guarantees a short conversation and an excuse for him to leave if I happen to make him uncomfortable, that sort of thing. (I love planning out social interactions in my head before I have them)

(also this is fr the strat bc a) “hey do you want my number?” gives the person a choice and b) if they do say yes awkwardly in the moment but regret it they can always just decide not to text you; it puts the ball more in their court rather than you getting their number and texting them first, that sort of thing)

so that’s exactly what I did. I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, and the interaction went like this:

“Hey, you’re one of the trombone players from (insert local highschool’s upper band) right?”

“Yeah?”

“I was just wondering, would you want my phone number? :D”

“Oh, I’m actually not looking for anything right now.”

“Hey, no problem.”

“Thanks though. :)”

“Yeah ‘course!”

and then we split ways.

As of today I found their jazz group’s page on instagram (basically, I’m going around and following all the ones that I thought were really good, including his who placed first just ahead of my school’s upper band in second)(we were psyched btw cus their group is known for crushing everyone so being up there second only to them felt pretty good) and I realized he’s probably following them and I actually did manage to find his page, which is privated (oddly enough he happens to be followed by someone who I very loosely know) so it’s request to follow only.

My question is would it be weird to request to follow him? Based on my instagram page and what I have up he might not be able to recognize me but I’m guessing he’ll know it’s me just because of our interaction and the follow request, but I’m not sure if I’d be breaking a social boundary if I did that.

I don’t intend to hit on him or push him for romance or anything like that— I got a clear and polite “no thanks” and I’m not going to infringe on that full stop (boundaries are to be respected always). Blanket statement I think this guy is cool and an impressively good player, I’d legitimately want to see him perform again or possibly be friends (I’m starved for jazz friends) but I’m just reallllyyy worried it’s gonna come off as creepy or boundary breaking to request a follow so I’m not sure if I should or not.

(my logic is that he already rejected a request for communication so requesting to follow him is essentially doing the same thing again and might come off as creepy or pushing it and the last thing I want is to make this guy uncomfortable. on the other hand it could be seen as completely harmless or even flattering depending on the person but I’m really not sure.)

mutuals give me opinions bc I’m curious what you think (also I’d really appreciate it if you picked something other than maybe lmao or left me a comment of your thoughts or smthn like that. I may be overthinking this)

(asterisk is for extra info for the first poll option)

*regardless of your intentions, which he is unable to truly discern, but will probably assume is still romantic pursuit

[granulesofsand]

Hi, I was wondering if you have resources or examples of what system mapping is/looks like? My therapist mentioned it and I don't really understand what that ... looks like. And also can't find any real resources on it

System mapping refers to a lot of record keeping, more so than most people think of when they hear about it. The most common route for this exercise is a visual aid, often done on blank printer paper or with a computer application that allows for shapes with text in them.

Some goals for system mapping can be seeing how system members

are related (who knows who, how they interact with one another, how they define their connections)

came into the system (who split from who, when they showed up, what happened to get them)

fit into the collective (who’s similar or different, how roles make sense, where triggers chain together)

exist in space (how close to one another they are, where things are in the internal world, how visualized barriers come into play)

are themselves (which labels they use, which things they like and dislike, how they exist as one being and a member of a group)

Here are some examples of maps for each of these things

I did these taking only a few minutes each, and they’re simplified versions of real maps we’ve done in the past. Maps should be thought-provoking, a dumped box of ideas you connect on the page. Sometimes it takes hours (or days, but that’s usually an avoidance problem).

We’re working on one right now that shows when different color codes came into play for us. Our system is huge, so this is a broader project that doesn’t address individual members or subgroups. We took a poster paper and some colorful pens, made some notes at the top, and are drawing a garden with a central tree and some flowers for pieces that don’t make sense as a branching out. We worked on it several hours straight, redid it twice, and it’s still not done.

Our largest system map is a wall of post-its hanging on for dear life, with different color notes and ink for different purposes. We have a whole legend of symbols and would probably be using pins and yarn if we had a cork board. That one is everything; people and places, subgroups and relationships, programming and trauma, all of it.

If you(&)’re looking for resources, I have like two links I know I can find right now. Mostly this is a community topic, and you can watch people make maps on video sites like YouTube or TikTok. You’re less likely to find academic material about system mapping unless you’re looking for discussion about treatment or plain case studies, and I dislike contextualizing the exercise like they do.

I like the first link because they’re creative with it, which is great for visual aids. They also remind you that mapping isn’t for everymany/body, and that it’s okay not to do it or not include everyone.

The second isn’t specific to mapping, but has a bullet list I liked from another site that was more commercial.

A third one I thought about including but didn’t had some good reasons for mapping for integration (helping each other notice they’re connected, that there are reasons the system works like it does), but was more clinical.

Actually, I feel bad explaining it and not showing it, so you(&) choose if that sounds okay to you.

There are many larger articles which include aspects of system mapping, but reading them requires a lot of sifting and determining what is real to you(&) before you can make use of most of what’s written. It can help form opinions, and it will also send some cascading. If you look into the academic side, remember to look into the community side, too. You need both, just maybe not as early as mapping the system for the first time.

Poster paper is system mapping. Sand trays are system mapping. Roll calls are system mapping. Community meetings are system mapping. System mapping is getting to know your(&) system. You can’t really do it wrong, but I hope you got some ideas of where to start.

[kazonandoff]

So I have some thoughts about LN 12. There will be spoilers!

OK, Volume 12! Pretty good. I think I liked 11 better in terms of pacing and plot but so much good stuff happened in this one. Maomao was in peak form here. This was also a Chue centric volume and she's my second favourite character after Maomao.

I think what dragged this down was some heavy info-dumping in a couple of chapters. One chapter is literally just catching Maomao (aka the reader) with everyone's motivations and schemes. I really feel like this could have done with another 100 more pages, just so things didn't seem so dense. I still couldn't follow everything! Did Hulan try and entrap Maomao or not? Wouldn't it have been obvious to Chue that Hulan was up to something when he sent Maomao to pay a visit to the Ri Prince? Could someone be kind enough to break down what happened for me in simple words? 😅

The action scenes are great in this one too. The highlights are obvious but the one scene that really stood out to me was Maomao stepping in front of Bear-Man to stop him touching Xiaohong. There was none of her usual thought process of "I'm being stupid and reckless" just am immediate no brainer move by her. So so proud of you, girl. The use of the art in these moments was excellent. I felt my heart drop here when I turned the page and saw just how big Bear Man was.

Speaking of proud, MY GOD FINALLY MAOMAO. THAT ONLY TOOK YOU 12 VOLUMES AND 4 YEARS IN-UNIVERSE. Who knew Chue's near death would be the catalyst for Maomao making a move forward with Jinshi?? I actually really loved that scene between Maomao and Chue. Maomao actually using the word "love" even though that terrifies her to think of.

The insecurity of Jinshi, though, still takes me by surprise. He thought Maomao hated him? Maomao I know you're bad at conveying feelings but you really needed to say or do something there. Maybe that L word you so don't like to use? And now that they're an official couple Maomao immediately starts flirting and teasing Jinshi and my boy has no idea what he's in for.

Lastly, the poison dart Chue gave Maomao never got used. I really thought Maomao was gonna kill someone this book but I guess it was a red herring? Also, it took me until the end of the book to realise that was Chue in disguise on the cover 😂

That's the end of the Western Province Saga! We're finally going home again! Yay! Overall I think Western Province Saga might be my favourite one? Book 4 is still my favourite book but this run of books from 9-12 was outstanding. Maomao and Jinshi really grew up in this saga, Maomao especially. She's so much more engaged with everything around her, her sense of justice has jumped way up, her emotional maturity has sky-rocketed. She really stepped out of the shadow of her adopted father here and became more her own person. An adult, really.

Thoughts where this goes from here: for starters, I feel like Maomao is going to step more into the role of Lady and away from commoner. That's where she's been heading all series but to be a legitimate marriage choice for Jinshi she'll have to step up. Which means accepting her biological dad 🫣 Mysteries and schemes, I'm less sure about but the political stage just keeps getting bigger and bigger. I think eventually Maomao will head even further west but not for the foreseeable future.

That's a lot of words, sorry everyone! But I had a lot of thoughts about this book. Please share your own, I have no one to talk about this series with 😭

[cloudcountry]

fuck i literally realized a lot of this is due to how much I relate to him IM SORRRYRYRYRYRY but i just wanna talk about him today (i have no fun insights this is just yapping... URGGBSHGRFYGH I RELATE TO AND LOVE HIM SO MUCH SOBS ON UR DOOR STEP)

im sorry, i believe a little warning for the first paragraph i bring up my own dead sibling cause I wanted to get that out of the way

This is decently specific to me: I have a younger dead sibling and idia is just i can relate just so hard to bc of that one fact, (gets out the idia journal) we were around the same age when our siblings died we think we both got them killed through harmless fun comments and just having someone so close to you as your younger sibling die at a young age kinda fucks with you and stuff idrk whats going on but something is

we both have social anxiety i don't think mine is as bad but if i had the option to just talk through a tablet i would, especially in certain situations where i'll freeze up (aka talking to any waiter ever) I genuinely a lot better when im there for someone else that has so we could have a symbiotic relationship for social situations

+ I NEED TO REASSURE HIM HIS DAMN IMAGINARY AUDIENCE ISN'T ACTUALLY REAL NOT EVERYONE HATES YOU YOU DON'T HAVE TO ACT LIKE IT IM RIGHT HERE I LOVE YOU SM :((

Okay funny silly time: love of cats omg cats i love cats he loves cat give him cat he would be unsure how to treat it exactly bc he never had a childhood cat but he has done so much research on cats that he probably could info dump on the cat on why it so cool and the best thing ever "Awww did you know you get a lot of your water from your food bcuz you're a dessert animal and you avoid still standing water due to your prey possibly contaminating the water" please let him see those stray cat cams in china he would love donating food to them,, he would be spear heading naming everyone and making sure they all get a wiki page

OKAY ENOUGH ABOUT IDIA AND CATS BUT HE WOULD SEE IF HE COULD GET THE FUNDS TO OPEN A CAT SHELTER AND FEED SO MANY STRAY KITTIES MOVING ON

baby noooooo,,,, :(( yes im looking back on his after overblot dialogue as a reference even though i just read it anyways,,, Idia will never be able to have his own life separate from his family, since yk cursed and shroud, it's basically a path that was bricked in for him. its like his life path is a long corridor that leads to the same road no matter what he picks. Especially since his unique magic locks him into working for STYX since he can just open a very vital thing and idk almost take over the world. if the shrouds acc got unique magic i think idia could have actually went on to lead a decently good life whether he was STYX head by choice or something else (game dev)

hes so passionate about the things he enjoys, there is so many examples of this, he's into so many things and loves them all with his whole heart it's so endearing (also uhsn dfbghrg bonding over media is the best, hes probably so fun to talk to about media... but he might lord knowing so much over you >:p ily just let me put my two cents in you can keep info dumping idia) OUGH (ignore me doing the hand thing PLEASE I LOVE IDIA I LOVE ORTHO IM ENJOYING WRITING THIS SM) OKAY ANYWAYS aww okay reading over idia's dialogue like im writing you an argumentative essay or something,, STAR ROGUE! the idia of idia (wtf r u writing edie) HIS SILLY ASS SLANG HRGBHRBGVLRHG "OUR LEGEND, POP OOOFF!" Anyways idia just recounting everything about star rogue without second thought he loves it sm he probably played it sm he knows the opening by heart (IDIA AND ORTHO SAYING THE TAG LINE TOGETHER THIS IS KILLING ME AUBURN)

hes heard so often that he was genius when he was really young it was just hardwired for him to think he was the best in the room especially with the advancements he has made from the ages of 10-12. like building ortho is genuinely a feat and he did it and two years definitely he's going to let that go to his head. ngl i feel that his parents were not too great probably absent most of the time since he can just lock himself in his room and work on something that no one knows about for two years. probably fucked him up developmentally too, he was NOT properly socialized the internet was his parents for the entire time probably

he wants to be FUCK THIS SHIT ACC OMG CRIES IN A CORNER SADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD HE JUST WANTED TO BE A COOL ADVENTURER HERO GUY HE DIDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN!!!!! WHAT WENT WRONG IS NOTHING YOU WERE JUST A TOO SMART KID,,, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT AND NEVER WILL BE YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN OMG. DFGVJKDHJHBCBSHFBSFBSFR

it's like 12:30 right now my mental state is deteriorating this is stupid opinions for the most part i tried my best im sorry if this is bad but YOU SAID GUSH IN YOUR INBOX SO I MADE THAT HAPPEN???

-- with lots of love Edie

EDIEEE MY FAVORITE IDIA KISSER‼ THANK U FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS READING THEM WAS SO INTERESTING!!

first of all holy shit im so sorry about what happened to your sibling. i totally get why you'd find him comforting because of that but Oh my gosh. im so sorry.

i think having social anxiety is something a lot of people can relate to with him, even myself. identity actually brought this up but seeing him being pushed into situations where he is ABSOLUTELY not comfortable makes me want to run in there and help him GET OUT. like i may not like this man that much but nobody should feel pressured or panic over entering a social situation they dont want to be a part of.

AH YES THE CAT CARD

RIGHT YEAH its so SAD how he will never get to live his own life and THATS one of the things that ive thought about a lot concerning him. like it would suck to actually have your fate predetermined no matter what. like he's just going to be stuck there with nobody else except for like ortho and his employees(?) but actually. yk what thats how he spent his school days which is even sadder hello

"the idia of idia" HELLO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN

actually! you bring up a good point about idia always being considered a genius since he was young and how that affects his self esteem and how he interacts with people now. i have literally never thought of it that way but it makes a lot of sense.

THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS EDIE <3 I LOVED HEARING THEM!!

[nyoomfruits]

"fwb but actually they’ve been dating this whole time" intrigues me 👀

i, okay, so i have some explaining to do.

me and my good friend eby have a bit of a thing for oscar piastri, and a few weeks ago either one of us (i dont remember who lmao) was like 'okay but what if oscar/max/charles' and ever since then i've been a bit. obsessed.

anyway the plot for the 'fwb but actually they've been dating this whole time' fic is basically. max and charles are already in a relationship, but then oscar arrives on the grid and as they spend more and more time with him they realize he's sort of their missing puzzle piece? so uh, they start inviting him into their relationship, sleeping with him as well, and they think everything is going great!!! max and charles sort of just fell into their relationship, never really talked about anything, it just happened and they were very much on the same page about things, and clearly the same thing is happening with them and oscar!!

except. well. oscar doesn't really want to assume anything. so he just spends most of the fic thinking he's in some kind of friends with benefits relationship with this couple and any moment they can decide they don't really need him any more and dump his ass.

anyway que oscar pining over a relationship he's already in, oblivious max and charles, and just soooo many miscommunication shenanigans.

the scene i have written down so far is very much in the beginning of the fic so i'll put that under the cut if anyone is interested lmao

The music is loud, pounding his ears as Oscar leans back against the bar, carefully sipping his gin and tonic. The club is crowded -  too crowded maybe - but here, from his spot against the bar, tucked away in the corner, Oscar has found some space to breathe.

Most of the other drivers are here too, somewhere. Lando had told him to come, that it would be fun, that they do this all the time, and then he’d promptly disappeared the second him and Oscar had set foot inside.

So now it’s just Oscar, his gin and tonic, and the fast sea of drunk strangers milling around him.

He’s just decided that he’s just going to go back to the hotel when he finishes his drink, Charles appears in front of him, big grin on his face. “Oscar,” he says, barely audible over the thumping of the music. “Hi.”

“Oh, uh, hi?” Oscar says, a little unsure. It’s not that him and Charles never talk it’s just that. Well. They don’t. At least not past the usual pleasantries.

But now Charles seems to settle in for a conversation, taking a sip from his beer as he says, “Good job on the race, today. Was a though one, you did well.”

“Thanks,” Oscar says, nodding, Charles takes another sip of his beer as Oscar talks, and Oscar watches the long line of his throat as he swallows. “You uh. As well. Good race, I mean,” he stutters out, when he realizes he’s been quiet for just a beat too long. “I saw a replay of that overtake on Pierre, that was impressive.”

When Charles looks at him, there’s a twinkle in his eyes. “Thank you, Oscar,” he says, and there’s something about the way he says Oscar’s name that has Oscar fumbling and taking another sip of his drink.

Suddenly, Max appears behind Charles, wrapping his hands around his waist and leaning his head on Charles’s shoulder. “Hey, pretty boy,” he says, and it isn’t until Charles warningly says, “Max”, that Oscar realizes he’d been directing it at him.

[sohychocochips]

SHY GUY (DIARY)

synopsys: sunghoon was always a shy guy, but this cute girl next class is making him wanna be more brave, he wanted to talk to her and maybe even kiss her, but he can't. so he starts a diary and document her everystep.

ׂ°₊ 𐙚 warning: english is not my first language, pls correct me if i type anything wrong! thank youuu ♡♡♡

ׂ°₊ 𐙚 dinamics: shy guy next class sunghoon x cute f!reader

ׂ°₊ 𐙚 infos: fluff, a little healthy stalking(?), anxiety crises, suicidal thoughts

ׂ°₊ 𐙚 note: i need someone like y/n in my life!

start reading here:

sunghoon started monday well, he was standing next to your class at the morning, so you would say "good morning" in that soft voice just for him. you actually says it to everybody, you're so polite, but that good morning, that one was just for him. "oh, sunghoon! good morningg" he melts as you say, almost forgetting to respond. "good morning, y/n!" he tries to sound atractive and just stands there like the silly boy in love he is. "hey, hoon. what you doing here? I was looking for you!" his golden retriever friend says, they always spend every school day together since kindergarden. jake and sunghoon are just stuck to each other. "wait, that's y/n's class.. all for a good morning... again?" jake has a bored face on. "ike, you don't understand! her voice is so soft and sweet, she has to be mine" sunghoon was serious, but his movements were dramatic as hell. "stop being a weirdo and give some flowers to her, maybe?" jake suggests. "she doesn't like bouquets much" "how do you know that? weirdo"

park doesn't know, but you also love him quite a lot, you knows he's always looking at you at school, your friends say he's a little weird, but you just happen to find him very cute, so you put a little more love in the good mornings when it's for him.

today's classes were so boring, but who said sunghoon was paying attention to it? he was thinking about you, his adorable crush. he gets sad as he remembers he graduates this year, and will never see you again. seeing you everyday is a serious matter for him. "sunghoon" jake tries to wake him up, the last math class is already over. "SUNGHOON YOU DUMB, LET'S GO" he finally wakes up. "im going! and you're the dumb one here" he teases jake a bit. "what score did you get in this class?" sunghoon leaves in silence. "oh, I see" jake follows him.

as soon as sunghoon gets home, he locks his door and pick up his diary that he writes just for you. "dear y/n, day 467. today you gave me one of the sweetest good mornings you can give, you were so cute, that messy hair and adorable smile" he draws sad faces and hearts to the page. "I hope you're not dressing up for other man, you're always so beautiful in school, cute little dresses flawless makeup that suits you so well. today you used a pink roses florar dress, hair tied in a pink bow and pink doll shoes. my lil bunny is just the prettiest. I like to call you lil bunny cause first, you're adorable like a baby bun bun, and second, you use pink blush on the nose just like a baby bun bun, YOU'RE SO CUTE MARRY ME" he sights, remembering he'll never see you again after this year. "I love you so much my darling, maybe I have to be brave for you! I'll try to think of a date for us and just hope you don't dump me. bye! love you always and can't wait for you to be mine!"

he likes to take a look at previews pages too, he forgets what he writes and it's always good to read about you. day 8 says "this diary thing is still a little weird to me, but I do whatever to talk about my lil bunny as jake doesn't wanna hear it! i'm starting to hate weekends now, i don't see you, I hate everyday i don't see you. I start to think you were so pretty yesterday, you were using jean shorts and and a super cute strawberry t-shirt. and of course, your loved red dolly shoes, you were using the one that has a bow in it. SO CUTE" he reads another one, day 16 says "lil bunny i want to thank you so so much! you're helping me so much, even if when anxiety hits i think of you and think you're kissing me and that it's going to be real soon! today you were wearing a orange dress and collorful acessories and of course, your favorite red shoe. i heard you complain to your friends that you put too much blush on and was late, but i wasn't too much! it was cute. i like when you use makeup but i also would like to see you without, so i could make you blush!"

and then, the anxiety came, qhen thinking about a date, sunghoon suffers from social anxiety, he never forgot the middle school bullying and he just go on crowded parts of school if jake is beside him. thinking of you does make him feel better, but going on a date already makes him nervous, plus in a cinema or a restaurant? it's not working for him. he spent the whole night trying to figure out something, but he can only think of his own home. he can't invite you for his house, you'll sure think he's a weirdo!

next morning, sunghoon has a very tired face, you notice that, you gave him a cheerful good morning, but his just sounded... empty. now at break, you look at him at the table next to yours, he looks sad, lost and after looking at you he suddently leaves, letting half sandwich behind. you're worried and follows him. jake started to think you're a weirdo too for stealing the half sandwich, but you don't care, you want your favorite boy to eat his food well.

you follow sunghoon to a far place in school's garden, no one is ever there. he was crying so desesperatedly you heart hurts. "JAKE I SAND NOT TO COME, GO AWAY, LEAVE ME ALONE" he's very rude. "oh, im s- sorry! just gonna leave this here." you leave the sandwich near him "eat well my prince, hope you feel better" you just ended saying that when he grabs your arm "you... y-you can stay" you sit by his side. he hugs you and starts crying again. you pat his head. "do you wanna talk about it?" you try to sound very sweet so he feels confortable. "i love you, i love you so much" he cries "but i can't take you to a date and you'll think im a weirdo if i invite you to my house and if i do nothing i'll graduate this year and never see you again, i need to see you everyday or my life will suck again" he lays his head on your legs and you continue to pat his hair. "i- if, if i don't see you it's better to die" "don't worry, you'll see me a lot! it's okay hoonie, i can visit your house anytime, i know you're not a weirdo" you kiss his forehead. "do you really want to date a loser like me? who can't protect you and cries everyday?" he looks at you with doe eyes. "you're not a loser, hooney, and who said you can't protect me!? you're very strong." you kiss his nose. "but I'm anxious and-" you interrupt him. "sunghoon, I. don't. care. we'll get this together. I love you so much." he stops crying and you wipe the last tears off. he hugs you and gets up. "thank you, darling" he kisses your forehead. "im feeling much better now, i promise i'll get better and take you to proper dates." he smiles at you, you're happy to see that beautiful smile again. "hooney, as long as i'm with you im happy" his smile gets bigger and bigger as he gets his face closer to yours, you close your eyes, mentally preparing for your sudden first kiss. "hey, sunghoon, i know you told not to come but the class is already started, i was worried..." he noticed in what moment he's walking in. "oh... im sorry" sunghoon looks at jake with anger in his eyes. he gets your phone number before anything "lil bunny, don't miss your class, love you." he gives you three kisses on the nose. and then... "HEY JAKE YOU PUNK"

THE END.

note: i'll write a little extra abt them cuddling in hoon's house later! thanks for reading till here ♡♡ ;))

[c0zmo-writes-archive]

Hello! Here are some notes/background info/etc on my Harpy Beetlejuice AU, Birds of a Feather! Here’s chapter two.

Chapter 2- Boredom

“It was hard to tell in the low light, but it appeared to be a translucent green color. After a few moments, her brain connected the dots. It was drool.”

Fun fact- all of Beej’s bodily fluids are some shade of green. His blood also glows in the dark, so he’s sorta like a glow stick!! A feather and flesh covered glow stick.

“You’re gettin’ all this stuff for me?” He was confused. Wasn’t he just some lab project to her? Why was she being so nice to him?”

Poor Beet has never had someone go out of their way to get things for him. My guy does NOT know how to handle care and acts of service being thrown his way. 

“Then his hand met the light switch. Perfect. He played with the lights for a bit, until his attention flitted to an open door. He dove to the floor and batted the door between his hands, eyes wide and pupils large. That kept him entertained for a good five minutes, before he got bored once again.”

Cat Beetlejuice strikes again. He’s got ADHD in this AU! I might be projecting onto these characters just a bit…

“He unfurled his large wings and jumped up, prepared to fly, but he misjudged how much space was between him and a large stack of loose papers. The force of his wings flapping sent the papers flying in a frenzy around him. The sudden stationery storm made him panic. With a distressed screech, he flew up and clung to the bookshelf. To his dismay, the shelf creaked and leaned forward, bringing him down with it.”

While his hand-eye coordination is pretty good, he has pretty poor impulse control and doesn’t really take a minute to think: “Will the force of flapping my wings send everything around me flying?” He also loses a lot of skills when he’s in a panic. Like basic reasoning. Also shoutout to alliteration. I fucking love using alliteration. 

“Dammit. Now Shilo’s definitely gonna kill me.” He tucked his wings back, slowly approaching the reason he was about to get his ass beaten.”

Shilo would never intentionally hurt him, not that he’s aware of that.

“Ok, ok. Gotta fix this. God, I wish there was something I could use to just glue this thing back together!” It seemed the lightbulb in his head hadn’t clicked on yet. After a worryingly long amount of time, he snapped his fingers and bounced up. “Oh yeah! Glue!”

Inspired by this scene in The Cuphead Show.

“The label read “Glow-In-The-Dark Glitter Glue: Neon Green color! (now with 98% less radium!)”

Just pointing this out because it made me chuckle while writing it.

“After a few seconds, nothing came out, so he bit into the top of the container and ripped it off. He squeezed the bottle harder. With a loud, splattery slop, half the glue bottle dumped onto the pages. Shit. That’s too much, isn’t it? He thought to himself as glue dripped onto his hand. He licked it off.”

Probably not a great idea to put the radioactive glitter glue in your mouth. 

“She stumbled over a pair of shattered glasses. Oh. That’s what that crunching sound from earlier was. Beetlejuice realized.”

Thankfully, those glasses were old and not the right prescription!

“Shilo’s shoulders and jaw tensed. She held her face in her hands and sighed. Counted to ten in her head. Did everything she could to not scream in the face of the harpy.”

When your new science experiment breaks one of the only rules you’ve set for him in a three hour span. 

“Beetlejuice tilted his head and furrowed his brow. What’s wrong? Why isn’t she happy? He wondered. He decided he’d point her in the right direction. He swooped past her and grabbed the sticky, glittery journal. He thrust it into her face with a smile. “Beetlejuice,” her voice was scarily quiet, “I’m going to ask you this again. What did you do?” Beetlejuice stepped back. “What’re you so pissed about? I fixed it!” He beamed.”

He has lots of trouble reading social cues!! He thinks he did something really great, he doesn’t know why Shilo seems upset at him :(

“Beetlejuice flinched at the loud noise and scampered away like a little rodent into the closest room with a door, which happened to be a dark bathroom. Shilo cringed at her outburst. She sighed and hung her head.”

Beetlejuice really hates it when he’s being yelled at due to a mix of trauma and sensory issues. Both Shilo and Beetlejuice struggle with occasional outbursts of anger. Shilo especially hates them. She doesn’t like feeling that she doesn’t have control over herself. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a support system or someone to help her with her mental health.

“and dug through the couch cushions until she found a pen.”

She keeps writing utensils everywhere. Couch cushions, empty flower vases, drawers, lying down on the floor waiting for an unsuspecting victim to step on it and become great friends with the wooden floor…

“Maybe it was just the lighting, but Shilo swore she saw his hair and now ruffled feathers tinted crimson red.”

His hair changes color based off his mood, as do some of the feathers on the underside of his wings (primary converts, primaries, and secondaries).

“Shilo made them both sandwiches, as Beetlejuice kept trying to plunge his fist in the jars and smear condiments on the bread with his hand. They ate in silence, both feeling a bit better. Beetlejuice once again wolfed down his sandwich. Then the next one. Then the next one. Then he tried to lap at the grape jelly, which Shilo had to shut down.”

Beetlejuice isn’t used to utensils, and prefers to grab/dig through stuff with his hands. He’s also a pretty messy eater overall. 

“Shilo only hearing a chorus of happy chirps when Beetlejuice saw his dessert – a bag of live beetles, worms, and a scorpion lollipop.”

He loves his bugs!! Beetlejuice also makes lots of bird sounds.

“Stay with me again?” He asked. Shilo settled down next to him, and they took a similar position to the previous night, with his head resting on her chest.”

He likes this position because it means he can listen to her heart beating. He also likes to sniff her. But the first reason is less creepy.

[knickynoo]

BTTF: The Animated Series, s01ep02, "A Family Vacation" Review and Commentary

Previous episodes will get linked HERE. (top of page)

I didn't mention in my last post, but I have seen the first season before--about 2 years ago. I have basically no memory of it (I guess my brain was like, "yeah, no, we don't need this" and just dumped it), so this is a lot like watching again for the first time. Never seen the second season, so that'll be all new to me.

In this episode: We travel to England, Doc duels with one of Biff's ancestors, and we meet Marty's goofy relative Harold McFly.

Ok, let's jump in.

Interesting. I thought all these episodes began with Real Doc in his lab, but this one seems to skip that part and goes straight to animation. Christopher Lloyd is narrating, though, which is nice, I suppose. Still not as good as getting to actually see him. Automatic points deducted from this episode for not immediately showing me Doc's face. More Real Doc, less cartoon, please. Thanks.

I am thrilled to announce that we have found Clara! (she did not appear at all in episode 1) She's voiced by none other than Clara herself, Mary Steenburgen.

As you may be able to tell, she's shed her 1885 attire in favor of modern clothes. And right away, we learn that she's become super tech-savvy as well. The Brown house has many futuristic features to it (either from Doc's travels or his own inventions) and Clara is using two of them here. The device on her leg allows her to work out without actually having to move, and the thing on her finger has some sort of laser feature that allows her to grade school papers on a screen across the room. And I can only wonder how it is that Clara has managed to get a job teaching in a modern school—not so much because of any gaps in knowledge she may have (Clara's super smart, I'm sure she could catch up) but because I'm wondering about the interview process. Surely she must have had to show identification and fill out forms. I can only assume that Doc has gotten forged documentation somehow for his entire family with made up birth years, medical records, etc.

I would have liked an episode about that. Kids would've enjoyed an episode all about Doc creating fake birth records for his wife and kids, right? Right??

Elsewhere in the house, Jules and Verne are busy playing with remote control cars and an elaborate model train set. Hmm...seems like this episode is setting up lots of scenes with technology in preparation to give us the ol' "too much tech is bad for you" lesson.

Our good buddy Doc is even in on the tech craze. He's busy building robot arms that will turn newspaper pages for him so he doesn't have to do it himself, lol. Unfortunately, this causes a power surge, and all the lights in the house go off. The family is not happy. Doc comes to the realization that they've all become spoiled by technology. He declares that they all need to take a vacation to a time without electricity and ushers them to the DeLorean.

As the car flies off into the sky, Marty and Jennifer are walking down the street.

Um. That's—that's Jennifer. Yeah. I don't know what happened there. Her design upsets me. Marty is still in his silly letterman jacket. I'm thisclose to photoshopping a denim jacket onto him. Why is he wearing high-waisted jeans?

As they watch the car, Marty tells Jennifer, "I don't guess we'll be borrowing the car tonight." So, apparently, he's allowed to take the DeLorean through time all willy-nilly whenever he wants? That sounds like an absolutely horrible idea.

Doc takes the fam to England in 1367 because I guess he figures a good dose of dysentery will help put things in perspective for them? Anyway, he uses this high-tech camera thing to "change" all their clothes into Medieval ones. He says it's only an illusion that lasts a few hours, though. Idk, don't think about it too hard. To ensure the family all stays put and "enjoys" the trip, he programs the DeLorean to fly away, back to present day, and return later on to pick them up. There is no way that can possibly go wrong.

Clara is not happy with her husband.

"Of all the pig-headed, insensitive, macho things you've ever done, this takes the cake," she says. And. Can we just talk about how un-Doc-like those descriptors are? Insensitive? Macho?? OUR DOC? Cartoon Clara and Doc have a weird dynamic in this so far. I don't like the exasperated wife with a bumbling, inconsiderate husband trope.

We soon meet Lord Biffingham, Earl of Tannenshire. If you read my episode 1 review, you know that Thomas F. Wilson voices all Tannens in the show. He's really a bright spot in this series because the guy can do so many fun voices. We'll meet many more Tannen relatives in the show—Biff evidently has family roots all over the globe. Lord Biffingham orders Clara to be kidnapped by his cronies. Uh oh. Doc is also kidnapped. Double uh oh! It's up to Jules and Verne to save the day now.

They soon meet one of Marty's relatives! Harold McFly of the Sussex McFlys. Here they are all hanging upside down in a tree because they got caught in rope traps.

Those are traps Harold set, btw. He caught himself in his own trap. I love him already. Harold tells the boys that he's vowed revenge against Biffingham for stealing away "his lady" Jennivere (assumed to be one of Jennifer's relatives due to the name and fact she is literally just the Jennifer character from the earlier scene but in Medieval clothing). They team up to try to sneak into Biffingham's castle to rescue Doc, Clara, and Jennivere.

Meanwhile, Lord Biffingham asks Clara to marry him. First, though, he has to kill Doc. Yep. So far, we've had a Civil War episode featuring guns being pointed at Jules and Verne, and now a murder plot. Very fun.

Doc, however, isn't too concerned with his predicament. He's locked in a dungeon, having a grand ol' time identifying various bugs and rodents by their scientific names. And while I can't see Real Doc being quite so calm in such a time of crisis, I can see him taking breaks from his panic to be like, "Oooh, rattus norvegicus." (That's literally just a Brown Rat, btw. Doc is fascinated at seeing it.)

We go back to Marty Harold, Jules, and Verne, who are enacting their plot to infiltrate the castle. Harold sings and says some things to the guards, but I can only understand like a third of the words coming out his mouth because of his exaggerated accent. Harold what are you saying.

Lord Biffingham prepares for a jousting tournament against Doc, during which he plans to "eliminate" Doc. Biffingham has this massive horse, tons of fancy armor, and a huge sword thing. Doc has this:

I mean. I dunno, I believe in you, Doc.

Jules and Verne show up just in time to rig Doc's pathetic little "horse" with their motorized car that they snuck on the trip, which makes it go super fast. He's able to avoid Biffingham's attacks for a while, but eventually gets captured. Biffingham orders Doc, Jules, Verne, Harold, and even poor Einstein to be executed.

Doc makes a joke about himself and the boys being the first people to ever die before they were born and I just. I feel like this isn't the time for jokes, Doc? Your children are about to die and also—ALSO!—one of Marty's relatives, thus causing him to never be born in the future. Your vacation is destroying entire family lineages, Doc. This show belongs in the horror genre.

It's Clara who ends up saving the guys just in time! She and Jennivere use a ton of fabric to somehow make a hot air balloon, and they throw ropes down and fly the gang away.

With everyone free, Harold and Jennivere are reunited! He says it isn't safe for them to stay in England but he doesn't know where they can go. Doc suggests *drum roll* Ireland! And there are several things that come to my mind here.

One of Marty's relatives and one of Jennifer's relatives got married in the 1300s, moved to Ireland, and had kids—establishing the McFly family line in Ireland.

According to this, Doc is the one who caused the McFlys to even go there in the first place. So. How did they end up there originally? I guess Harold and Jennivere eventually decided on Ireland as well on their own.

It's Clara who helps to free Jennivere from the castle. Who got her out in the original timeline? Maybe Harold?

Shhh, Nikki, it's a cartoon

Anyway, Harold and Jennivere fly off to Ireland right that very moment in the hot air balloon.

Byeee! Goodbye Harold and Jennivere! Enjoy life in Ireland, you crazy kids.

I miss Seamus. I wish he was in this cartoon. That would make it better, I think.

Wait, wait. I just got sidetracked looking at the Animated Series wiki, and it turns out the opening live-action segment of Doc from this episode was cut from the DVDs, which is where I'm watching this on. It was apparently of him flying above Hill Valley in a hot air balloon. Why was this stolen from me?

Let's wrap this up. We finally get to see Real Doc! We also get one of my absolute favorite gags in all of media. And that is: when a character falls from a big height or is getting dragged or spun around and it's very obviously a fake, stuffed dummy. I cannot describe how much this gag amuses me. It is the peak of comedy, and more shows and movies should use it. Look.

It is hysterical. I watched this gif loop upwards of 15 times.

Based on the context I now have regarding the removed opening segment, it appears that Doc fell from his hot air balloon. He recovered from the lethal plummet like a champ. Must be due to the medical overhaul in 2015.

Bill Nye then shows us how to make our own hot air balloon using a plastic bag and hair dryer. That's basically the end of the episode.

Overall, I'd rank this episode as being better than the previous one. I did miss Marty, though; he was only in those 10 seconds at the beginning. But Harold was a fun guy. I like that they're keeping with the "all of Marty's relatives look just like him" thing. (Except for Arthur and George, of course)

Join me next time to see dinosaurs wearing clothes.

[go-to-the-mirror]

@a-mag-a-day

Before I get into the relisten: hot jon rights.

This is going to be another stream of consciousness ramble. Maybe I'll say something good, maybe I won't.

(The official transcript.)

CW for a little bit of paranoia inducing rambling about Alternates from TMC.

BREEKON That's right. Just wanted… to… to drop off a package.

The way Breekon speaks, all broken up. It's just so sad :(

BREEKON Dunno. ‘s not right on my own. Not right. No point in doing it on my own. Dunno what happens now. Thought I might kill you. Missed my chance. Thought I might just deliver something. So, here’s a coffin. In case you want… to join your friend.

It's sad about Breekon hours :( How are you supposed to mourn for a part of yourself? How are you supposed to heal when you're literally incomplete.

BREEKON Make me. [A whooshing noise starts to rise with Breekon’s words, but immediately ceases when the Archivist speaks] ARCHIVIST Stop. [Heavy static rises] BREEKON What’re you doing? BASIRA Jon, what are you doing? BREEKON What’re you— Stop it. Stop it! ARCHIVIST No. [Breekon winces in pain] BREEKON Enough! Stop looking at me! [Breekon lets out a final cry and flees, a door is hear distantly. Static diminishes]

HOT JON RIGHTS!!!! I love this part it's so cool!!! He's so cool.

We started in a plague. Not like the nasty crawlers, but like bringing any other doom.

Fun fact about me, when I learned about the bubonic plague in primary school I was terrified. Not really of getting sick, though I think it was part of it, but of a red cross painted on a door, a mark of death. I was scared of the certainty that if I was infected, I would die. And no one would try to help, for fear of their own demise.

Not really relevant, but there it is.

Two strangers rolling towards them, unstoppable and uncertain, wearing faces they would only half remember, bringing a fate they would beg their god to forget. They could not hate us any more than they might have hated the rock that falls on them from a crumbling cliff. They did not know us, but they knew what we might do to them, what we might bring them.

This! This is the fear of The Stranger that actually gets me. Not the clowns or the mannequins or whatever, I'm not actually that freaked out by those, and I have yet to find art of Nikola that would actually freak me out or scare me. It's this kind of stuff and the Strangers from WTNV. Standing, staring, they could be right behind you, they're not doing anything but they might, they might at any moment attack. They're unfamiliar and strange and you have to be on your guard because you don't know what to expect, but they don't do anything, they just wait, as your dread grows ever higher.

Horror like that makes me very paranoid. I have a page in my notebook of trying to convince myself that the Alternates from The Mandela Catalogue weren't real, and what I was most freaked out about with them was that they could be anywhere. They could be posing as your friends, they could be in the corner of your room, they could be a puppet show on TV, they could be right behind you.

Don't turn around.

He squeezed its first owner until they stopped, and dumped them in a river, and I stayed with the second until they didn’t know who they were any more than they knew what they were.

The Stranger is weird. <3

The winter in Russia was cold, and in the icy air the absence of our breath was clear for all to see.

I like imagining that, something subtly wrong, you don't even notice it until you do, and when you do, you can't stop noticing it.

I have never known hate before. I have never known loss. But now they are with me always, and I desire nothing but to share them with you.

Don't know what to say to this. Just... :(

BASIRA And don’t open the coffin. ARCHIVIST It is addressed to me… … Yes, alright. You’re right.

I like his sense of humour. It's similar to mine sometimes.

Anyway! This is over! I only said a couple things of worth, but I hope you enjoyed the look into my mind regardless!