#// i am shy about my writing for some reason despite constantly posting it :Y

[demonsfate]

broken wings...

It was as though the final blow had rippled through the atmosphere and evoked an earthquake. As the wall of the tournament's arena commenced its quivering, and afore them, the walls were brought down in a loud crumble. Everything around the pair was plummeting down, and yet it all managed to miss them miraculously. And as the debris rest upon the vacant, pure black ground, they gradually faded from existence. And in its place, luscious, verdant blades of grass began to spring to life. Soon followed were bushes, flowers, vegetation. A blue sky spilled and painted the nothingness and large, flourishing trees sprouted to provide shade from the hot sun. After years of drab, this place was finally vibrant and abundant with life once more.

Jin Kazama stood in disbelief at the sight before him - it felt like a dream - and that was what's most bizarre to him. He hadn't experienced a dream in years, either. It was all only nightmares which filled this heavy head of his. The sunbeams that peaked through leaves welcomed Jin into a loving, warm embrace. And the grass below his feet was soft, but pleasantly tickled between his bare toes. This beauteous, much earned victory caused him to forget he wasn't quite finished yet. Jin glanced down, away from the trees, and saw the Devil pathetically crawling away - wings lowered like a dog with its tail behind its back. Jin trudged toward him.

The Devil understood Jin was coming after him - he could feel Jin's overwhelming force. Devil hopped in a futile endeavor to lift off to the skies. But only one wing flapped as the other had been fractured in combat. He grunted loudly as he crashed into the ground, his face landing right in the dirt. Spit, spit. Jin was drawing closer, and it actually startled the Devil - for once in his life, he was genuinely afraid, for he knew what was inevitable. He needn't breathe, yet to Devil, it felt as though he was out of breath. His bones ached, limbs begging for relaxation, and deep down, there was this realization that he no longer had any fight in him left. But still, the desperate need for survival gnawed at those exhausted muscles. In his severe panic, he leaped higher - and it only caused him to crash harder with an even harsher yelp. Jin ceased all movement - the Devil wasn't going anywhere, that much is obvious at this point. And maybe it was too cruel to play around with him as though the Devil's a wounded mouse, and he was the sadistic feline. Even if the Devil may deserve it for all he put the world through.

With an agonized groan, the Devil turned on his back to look up at Jin with horror in those lustrous, white eyes. 

"I've saved your life! I've saved your life many times!" He cried out in defense. 

"And then you took it," Jin retorted coldly. 

"You'll die without me. Time has proven that again and again! You NEED me, Jin! You need me!"

"I don't need you. I never did."

Jin's hefty legs crouched over Devil's body, and stared at him. In an attempt to retain existence, the Devil weakly swiped his sharp talons at Jin, who instantly caught his wrist and jerked it away. Jin's own hand then landed upon Devil's chest - and he shoved it through him. There was no gore, it's as if the Devil was nothing but a mere ghost. He couldn't even move, although he wanted to. Only his back arched as the rest of his body went thoroughly stiff. "I just needed your powers," Jin added. Then - echoed, bloodcurdling screams filled the gorgeous surroundings. And they won't end as his own form slowly dissipated - starting from his limbs.

It was almost too much for Jin, and he had to snap his eyes shut. His own spirit was consuming everything the Devil had possessed. But that wasn't the source of Jin's pained expression. No, in some messed up way, it was the Devil's screaming that brought forth his perturbation. Jin had loathed his Devil more than anything. An unforgivable, irredeemable, uncaring beast that had ruined his life, and thousands' more. The sole reason why he couldn't live amongst the humans. But Jin had spent years with him, every single day, nonstop. There was always someone to talk to when he was alone - even if those conversations were always of contempt arguments. Could arguing be considered superior to loneliness?

His ears blocked out the Devil's cries, and instead he tried all he can to focus solely on the power that's coursing through him now. After the rush of it had finished, Jin determined it was over and once again revealed his eyes to the world - his world. The Devil was gone, nothing but himself now. This victory should be one that's celebrated. But it was far too early for any parties. Jin knew there was more work to be done.

Thus, his eyes opened again. This time they were greeted to the real world. His body rose from the medical bed. His first few steps were wobbly, and he had to ground himself by leaning on to the cold wall for support. Once he rediscovered his composure, the destined child noticed the new strength he carried - more than he had ever before. It was almost stressful. But there was no time to think about that. Now, he'll get dressed and finally depart from this building - they were waiting for him...

[comfortbucky]

hey hey! can u do some fluffy bucky about having to share a hotel room w u and there’s only one bed!!!! and he’s trying to be respectful n stuff but man does he have the fattest crush on u! thank u <333

HEY HEY YES OMFGGG THE ONE BED TROPE (ur mind😌🤝)

i’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE I DIDN’T EXPECT IT TO COME SO SOON

𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗱, 𝘁𝘄𝗼 𝗶𝗱𝗶𝗼𝘁𝘀 ⋆｡˚ ☁︎ ˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆ ｡˚

pairing: bucky x fem!avenger!reader

tags: enemies(?) to lovers BABYYYY, angst, fluff

A/N: i almost always write about tfatws!bucky in mind but let me try and branch out by writing about avenger!bucky hehe

i hope u enjoy🥺💗i absolutely loved this prompt and loved writing this!!!! (it is almost 4am for me as i am posting this :) i’m insane :))

this oneshot will not be following the canon timeline!

word count: 2k

my masterlist!

completed requests!

“Stick to the plan, Y/N.” Steve’s voice came through over the intercom. She rolled her eyes at his warning. He always seemed to be extra cautious with her, making her feel like an unimportant member of the team, and this mission was no different.

“I got this,” she said, completely ignoring his request and charging headfirst at the enemy. Her brash decision resulted in her receiving a heavy beat down, ending up with a split lip and fractured ribs.

Needless to say, Steve was pissed. He and Y/N developed a close friendship over the years, during his search for Bucky. She was oftentimes the one who would stay up all night with him, looking for any trace of Bucky’s existence online. She’d become one of the closest people in his life, which is exactly why he was upset with her, endangering her own life.

After the mission, he confronted her at the base camp.

“You could’ve gotten killed!”

“But I didn’t,” she snapped back. “And the mission was a success anyways, so I don’t get why you’re so mad right now.”

Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.

“It’s reckless behavior like this that’s eventually going to get you killed, Y/N.”

Bucky walked into the room and immediately regretted his decision as soon as he laid his eyes on Y/N. He’d come to foster an animosity towards her, after seeing her close friendship with Steve. After Bucky joined the Avengers, he noticed how much time they spent together, and jealousy started to fester within him. Steve was the only person he felt comfortable being around in the tower and she constantly took him away from Bucky. Everyone else seemed to have an aversion to him, or so he assumed. He never gave anyone the chance to get to know him, locking himself up in his room most hours of the day. Bucky didn’t think anyone would want to get to know an ex-assassin, especially one that killed the Tony Stark’s parents. She was the one thing that kept Steve away from him and he despised it. So Bucky did what he did best and avoided any sort of interaction with her.

Steve looked at Bucky and suddenly, an idea popped in his head. He had noticed how closed-off Bucky had been since joining the Avengers and refused to let Y/N be alone, worried that she might make another brazen decision. He hatched a plan to kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

“Bucky,” Steve said, making his way over to him. “You and Y/N will be assigned to the same room tonight.”

Bucky choked on his own spit in response and Y/N began to protest.

“You’re not serious, right?” Steve turned to face her with a stern expression.

“You’re not giving me any reason to trust you to be alone.” She let out a defeated sigh and crossed her arms across her chest.

“Why me?” Bucky asked, trying to figure out how he ended up in this situation.

Steve placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder and looked into his eyes. “Because I trust you, Buck. I need you to do this for me.”

Bucky could see the desperation in Steve’s eyes and reluctantly nodded.

Steve was able to obtain another key card to the hotel room that Y/N was assigned to for the mission. He forgot to take into account the logistics of the sleeping arrangements, leaving Bucky to find a single bed as he entered Y/N’s room.

Bucky froze, his right hand on the door handle, keeping it open, his left hand by his side, holding his duffel bag. He racked his brain, trying to figure out what to do, when Y/N’s voice pulled him from his thoughts.

“Relax,” she started, motioning for him to come inside. “I’ll sleep on the floor, alright?”

Y/N knew that Bucky didn’t like her, despite Steve trying to convince her otherwise. It hurt her feelings a bit, especially after she’d learned so much about him through both Steve’s stories and the time she spent tracking him down. He was such an important person to Steve, her close friend, and Bucky hated her. At first, she figured he was shy and wasn’t ready to open up to anyone else, especially after all the trauma he endured. But she realized he actively disliked her over time, with Bucky always leaving the room when she entered or ignoring her offers to hang out with her and Steve. Eventually, she gave up on reaching out to Bucky, as she only seemed to upset him further, no matter what she did. She figured it was for the best.

Bucky stepped into the room and shook his head.

“Bed’s too soft for me anyways, I’ll take the floor,” he grumbled.

Y/N shrugged in response, knowing that Bucky would be too stubborn to try and argue against. She turned around and picked up the phone, calling the front desk to ask for extra blankets and pillows. When she hung up the phone, she turned back to Bucky to see him nod in thanks.

The rest of the night was silent, as they both prepared for bed, taking turns going into the bathroom to wash up and change. While Y/N was in the bathroom, Bucky arranged the extra blankets and pillows into a makeshift bed on the ground, something that he’d done countless times before. Y/N exited the bathroom in an oversized t-shirt that covered her shorts, and placed her toiletries bag in one of the hotel dresser drawers.

“Bathroom’s all yours.” Bucky grunted in response, grabbing some clothes and a bag headed for the bathroom.

“Don’t do anything stupid,” he stated, just before shutting the door behind him. Y/N scoffed at his comment, gently climbing into bed, in an attempt to not further injure her ribs. She winced as she tried to get into a comfortable position before settling to sleep on the side of her unaffected ribs.

Bucky emerged from the bathroom to see Y/N lying on her left side, her back towards him. He assumed that she had already fallen asleep and quietly crawled into his makeshift bed.

Approximately 10 minutes had passed, when he heard her sniffling. At first, he thought the noise was coming from outside the window, but he traced it back to her. He remained lying on his back for a moment, deciding whether or not to say something. Bucky sighed before speaking.

“You okay?” Y/N immediately stiffened upon hearing Bucky’s voice. She was hoping that he wouldn’t hear her crying, despite his super soldier hearing abilities.

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” she replied back, her voice wavering as she spoke. Y/N hated how weak and pathetic she sounded in that moment. Her fractured ribs made it hard for her to breathe and the adrenaline, that was previously shielding her from the pain, had faded, leaving her to lie there in agony. On top of that, she also felt that this mission solidified her belief that Steve had little faith in her ability to be an Avenger. The last thing she wanted to do right now, was to confess her insecurities to Bucky.

Bucky’s attitude softened, hearing Y/N’s voice crack when she spoke. He knew she’d gotten hurt due to her own, dumb, decision during the mission. Bucky quietly pulled his blankets off and stood up, leaving the room without saying another word. As soon as the door shut, Y/N burst into tears. Bucky did exactly as he’d done in the past many times before, leave. She wasn’t sure why this time upset her more than the rest. Probably because she knew that he was aware of her crying and he’d still chosen to abandon her completely.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the door opening, causing her to stop crying. Y/N listened to Bucky’s footsteps growing closer, and felt the bed dip under his weight as he sat on the edge she was facing towards. She peered over the blanket she was covering her face with, to see Bucky facing her, holding a bag of ice, wrapped in a towel. Bucky’s heart sank at the sight of her glossy eyes and tear stained cheeks in the moonlight.

“For your ribs,” he spoke softly, gesturing to the ice bag in his hands.

“Oh. Thank you.”

Y/N took the bag from him, attempting to slowly sit up. She closed her eyes as she grimaced, and suddenly felt a hand on her back, helping her up. Her eyes opened to reveal Bucky, with a soft smile on his lips. She silently thanked him again, placing the ice bag on the right side of her ribcage.

“Thought you hated me,” she mumbled, keeping her gaze down on her lap. He furrowed his brows, keeping his eyes on her.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Well, you definitely don’t like me.”

Bucky paused at her comment, thinking about his next words, before responding.

“I don’t like that you take up all of Steve’s free time,” he grumbled, causing Y/N to quickly look up at Bucky, his eyes averting her gaze. Her face fell, immediately realizing why Bucky had treated her so coldly all this time. He just missed his friend.

“I’m so sorry, Bucky.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and he looked up at her in response. “I didn’t realize, I’m sorry.”

Bucky didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting her to be so kind and understanding, even coming up with multiple points to argue back at her. He realized then that he didn’t know her at all, but that he wanted to now. In an instant, she became an entirely different person. He studied her eyes and wondered if they had always sparkled like that, if her cheeks were naturally rosy, or if her lips had always been so pink and plump.

His expression softened and he cleared his throat. “It’s fine,” he muttered, tearing himself away from her gaze to look down at his lap. After a moment of silence, Bucky stood up to return back to the floor.

“Stay.” The words left Y/N’s mouth before she had time to process them. Bucky froze and turned to face her. “I mean, if you want to, of course. Just figured the floor must be super uncomfortable for you.” Y/N felt a blush creep up onto her cheeks and kicked herself mentally. She looked down at her hands, regretting the words she spoke, before feeling the bed dip again. She looked up to see Bucky. He smiled and she almost melted at the sight.

She shifted over, putting the ice bag on the nightstand, as Bucky crawled into bed next to her. The two rested on their backs, both staring at the ceiling in silence. Bucky remained at a respectful distance away, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. Y/N turned on her left side, her good side, to face him.

“I’m glad you don’t hate me.”

Bucky turned on his side to face her before responding.

“I don’t think I could ever hate you.”

A strand of her hair had fallen in front of her face and Bucky, instinctively, reached out a hand to tuck it behind her ear. Immediately, he regretted it, about to pull his hand back when Y/N took her hand and placed it on top of his, guiding it to rest on her cheek. He cupped her face in his hand and she leaned into his embrace. Bucky felt his heart rate increase as she moved her body closer to his, wrapping the arm she used to hold his hand on her face, across his side. He shifted towards her as well, wrapping his arm around her body, bringing her closer to him.

“Is this okay?” He whispered, nervous that he might have somehow misinterpreted the situation. He hadn’t been with a woman in such an intimate way in years and had no idea what he was doing. Y/N looked up at him and nodded, before snuggling her face into his chest and Bucky felt a wave of calm wash over him.

“Can you stay here tonight?” Y/N mumbled, her face pressed into his chest. He chuckled at the vibrations from her voice and kissed her temple, smoothing her hair back.

“I’ll stay as long as you want me to, honey.”

[kal-djarin]

Attached

Fandom: Star Wars

Date Posted: January 30th, 2021

Pairing: Jedi! Reader x Obi-Wan Kenobi

Warnings: none that I know of?

Request: nah

A/N: so this is my first time ever writing anything so I am so sorry if it is terrible, I didn't have the guts to proof-read it. Also, sorry if the romance feels rushed, I tried to time it as best as I could. Please let me know how I can make my writing better!!!

Word Count: 4.4k (I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO LONG UNTIL I FINISHED)

Obi-Wan Kenobi has always had an addictive personality, to say the least. He had a way of making light of any situation with his sarcastic quips and quick wit, even during the most gruesome of battles. Maybe this was the cause of your ever-growing infatuation with the reputable Jedi or perhaps it was the way he always had a hint of rebellion in his eyes, despite his groomed appearance and strict code-abiding ways.

As Plo-Koon’s padawan, you weren’t able to see Obi-Wan as often as you wished, but it made even the smallest of interactions memorable; just making eye contact with the man while walking through the halls of the Temple resulted in sleepless nights. Even Anakin began to sense your constant flustered state whenever his Master walked into the room, no matter how hard you tried to keep those feelings out of your force signature. He teased you constantly and would always try to see how embarrassed he could make you in front of Obi-Wan.

Once you and Anakin underwent the Knighting ceremony, he went as far to tell you to follow your heart and confess your feelings for him.

“Y/N, you can’t keep walking through life bottling up every emotion you feel!” Anakin said, exasperated

“Isn’t that the whole point of being a Jedi,” you say, not at all surprised that it would be Anakin telling you to rebel against the Order.

“And anyways, unlike you, Anakin, not all of us decide to go against our entire upbringing and marry a senator.” you pointed out, effectively shutting him up about the subject.

It was inconceivable just to think about revealing your feelings to Obi-Wan. There were too many factors against you and the idea of being rejected by him after years of secret pining would be devastating. The worst part is that you know he would reject you in a gentle and kind way, making it impossible for you to hate him for it.

Not only were attachments forbidden by the Jedi council, but Obi-Wan was known for his adherence to the law and there’s no way he would break it for anyone, especially you. You were only a newly knighted Jedi and probably completely off of his radar, if he even had one. There was only one solution for your feelings for Obi-Wan: try to avoid him until they begin to fade.

But since the Maker has a vendetta against you, you, Obi-Wan, R2-D2, Anakin, and his padawan, Ahsoka, were assigned to leave Coruscant for a mission on Naboo. Senator Amidala was having a ball to celebrate the Festival of Light and there were rumors regarding a potential attempt on Senator Organa’s life, so the Order offered to send some Jedi to ensure the safety of the guests and Padmé.

The trip is going to be about a week long, so you mentally prepare being in close quarters with Master Kenobi. When you arrive at the hangar, you are pleasantly surprised to see the ship that was being boarded by Anakin and Ahsoka was bigger than what you expected. You board the ship with a new-found confidence in being able to complete the mission without embarrassing yourself.

“How is the whole avoiding Obi-Wan thing going for you, (Y/N),” Anakin teases once he sees you enter the cockpit.

“Why are you trying to avoid Master Kenobi?” Ashoka asks, looking between you and Anakin confused.

“Anakin I swear to-”

“Our beloved (Y/N) here has a crush on him.” Anakin interrupts and before you can yell at him for sharing that embarrassing information you hear a set of boots walking up the ramp. Your heart stops and you say a prayer to whoever is listening that Obi-Wan did not hear your conversation.

“Is everyone about ready to leave?” Obi-Wan’s accented voice rings out, coming closer to the cockpit.

Feeling yourself heat up from embarrassment, you quickly turn around and face the pilot seat in front of you in an attempt to avoid seeing him. You release a relieved breath, not sensing he heard anything. He walks in and once you calm down and realize how rude you must look, you slowly turn back towards him. He greets you with a smile and you can’t help but return the gesture. That breathtaking smile alone makes you feel like a flustered padawan again but you realize that if you are going to get through this mission and over your feelings, you must overcome your want to shy away.

“Hello Master Kenobi. Yes I believe we are all ready,” You say; your words were stiffly said but at least they weren't a stuttering mess.

He nods in acknowledgment and sits down in the pilot seat across from where you are standing. Anakin closely follows and sits in the adjacent seat, but not before stifling a laugh at the glare you give him for almost revealing to Obi-Wan how you feel. You sit behind Anakin and Ahsoka sits beside you. Anakin starts the ship and begins to fly towards the Chommell sector, where Naboo resides. Once you have left the atmosphere, he initiates hyperspace travel.

Once in hyperspace, Obi-Wan excuses himself and leaves the cockpit to meditate. Right when the door to the cockpit shuts Ahsoka snaps her head towards you.

“You have a crush on Master Kenobi?!” she whisper shouts, but it is still loud enough to facilitate a small internal freak out from you.

You don’t respond and keep looking out the window, contemplating whether or not to jump into the void of blurring stars in order to avoid this confrontation. Ahsoka, on the other hand, takes your silence as a confirmation to her statement.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ahsoka exclaims to you and Anakin, mostly in disbelief that you never mentioned this and that Anakin was able to keep a secret like that to himself.

“Well it’s not exactly something I’m proud of, Ahsoka,” you say, turning towards her.

“We’re Jedi.” you state solemnly, “It doesn’t matter who knows about our feelings; it doesn’t change the fact that we will never get to act on them or even truly experience them.”

“I know, but maybe you could-” Ahsoka starts but you are quick to shut down any false hope she could make for you.

“Ahsoka, there’s nothing you can do, I just have to get over it,” you say a bit harsher than intended. You and Ahsoka don’t have the most conventional of Padawan and Jedi Knight relationships, but then again neither did her Anakin. Since you were still a young Knight, you two were more like sisters, making you feel infinitely more guilty for taking your frustration out on her

“Look, Ahsoka, I’m sorry, it’s just that I don’t want to get my hopes up over something that will never happen”

“I just don’t like seeing you hurting, (Y/N)”

“You could always tell him.” Anakin chimes in,

You look at him, annoyed with his ever present need to pull the trigger, and then turn back to Ahsoka.

“I’ll be fine, I always am,” you assure her, but honestly you say it more to reassure yourself.

****

A couple of days past and you successfully have limited your time with Obi-Wan as much as physically possible. He was a very structured man and figuring out his daily routine was easy, so all you had to do was go to a part of the ship he wasn’t, or in worst cases, meditate so he couldn’t interact with you even if he wanted to.

But of course, Anakin, always being the meddler, picked up on your perfectly coordinated avoidance of his Master. He decided to “spontaneously” take Ahsoka to the back to do more training, leaving you and Obi-Wan to man the cockpit.

You approach the metal doors, mentally preparing having to spend the next couple of hours or so with the Jedi Master.

“Master Kenobi.” you greet as soon as you walk in.

“General (L/N), how nice of you to finally join me.” He says with a sarcastic edge but the smile on his face shows he means nothing by it. “In fact, I’ve hardly seen you this entire trip.” He states, matter-of-factly.

You nervously laugh while sitting down in the pilot seat next to him, in an attempt to release some stress over the fact that he noticed. The worst part is that there is a sick kind of rush of pleasure you get from the fact that he noticed you were missing.

You face forward, trying to ignore the way he is watching your movements.

“How much time until we reach Naboo?”

“According to the navigation system, about 23 hours, allowing us to arrive about…7 hours before the actual festivities.” He responds, looking at the display before returning his gaze to you.

“You seem unsettled,” He continues and you meet the concerned look in his eyes.

“I-I’m just…preparing myself for the mission,” you quickly come up with an excuse, slightly cursing the force for putting your emotions on display.

“There’s no reason to worry, at least from what the Council and Anakin have told me, but then again, Anakin is not known for his accuracy of judgement of how difficult a mission may be” Obi-Wan replies while grimacing, most likely remembering his padawan’s past misjudgments.

“There is something to be admired about Anakin’s lack of self-preservation,” You joke, starting to loosen up at the fact that Obi-Wan didn’t pick up on your lie.

You feel a sense of pride go through you when you see him laugh at your attempt of humor.

“Yes, Anakin has al-” He starts but is quickly interrupted by an angry series of beeps coming from the navigation system. You check the monitor and don't see why the ship is freaking out, until hundreds of small dots appear on the radar.

Obi-Wan is quick to react and begins to prepare the ship to enter the asteroid field. It doesn’t seem to be too congested but enough where you begin to worry.

“R2, take control of the steering!” He shouts and is given a series of beeps of affirmation by the astromech

You enter the field and suddenly wish you remembered to buckle up; R2’s steering is jerky and all over the place, but at least the ship is still intact. You grab on to the armrests of your seat as tight as you can and hope R2 will be successful.

Obi-Wan, as outwardly calm as ever, says, “Hope you don’t mind a bumpy ride!”

His sarcastic words force a laugh out of you. Even still, despite the fact you could be facing imminent death, he expresses dry humor.

The field seems to stretch on forever and R2 navigates through it without error. Finally seeing the end approaching, you begin to loosen your death grip on the chair. To your horror, R2 sharply jerks the ship to the left one last time, throwing both you and Obi-Wan out of the pilot seats. Landing with your back on the far wall, your eyes shut on instinct when your head slams into the metal. It’s not until you feel breath fanning your face and open your eyes that you realize that you weren’t only one who fell over here.

Obi-Wan’s hands are pressed against the metal beside your shoulders, caging you in. His arms are bent at the elbows from absorbing the impact of his landing, making his body even closer to your own. His nose is close enough to touch your own and you can feel his legs tangled between your own.

His eyes widen in shock and you begin to see the parts of his cheeks not covered by his trimmed beard turn a rosy pink. You would almost find it cute how his ears were becoming a bright red if it wasn't for your own embarrassment. It only makes matters worse when you watch Obi-Wan slowly glance down at your parted lips, still taking in the image of you pressed against him. If he could sense your unsettledness when you walked into the room, there is no doubt in your mind that your force signature is screaming your feelings. The seconds felt like hours and it seemed that both of you were completely frozen. You are so lost in the moment that you hardly react quickly enough to separate from him when the metal doors to the cockpit slide open.

Anakin’s annoyed shout entered the room.

“What the hell was that!” Thankfully, he didn’t seem to notice the flustered state of both you and his former master.

“I-it w-was an um…” his voice trails off as he keeps looking at you.

“An asteroid field! It was an asteroid field,” you quickly say in an attempt to fill in his words.

“Thanks for the heads up,” Anakin says sarcastically, still oblivious, and heads to the back to make sure Ahsoka was alright.

It’s only then when you begin to feel the throbbing in your head. Your facial expression must have given away the pain you are currently in, since Obi-Wan quickly sits you down and looks at the place where your head hit the wall, making sure you had no serious injuries. Throughout the entire examination, he didn’t meet your eyes once and he didn’t have the same surety in his movements like he usually did. Once Obi-Wan finished, he quickly excused himself and left the room, leaving you more confused than you had been.

Not even a minute later, Anakin pops his head in, quickly rubs R2 affectionately on the head, and then turns his attention to you.

“What the hell did you do to Obi-wan, he looks like he’s seen a ghost.”

***

After the accident, Obi-Wan was now the one avoiding you. He would excuse himself whenever you entered the same part of the ship as him. You couldn’t help but feel guilty for making him so uncomfortable, even though it wasn’t your fault.

You were going to apologize to him, but by the time you arrived on Naboo, you realized the moment had already passed. Senator Amidala greets you right when you walk down the boarding ramp. You and Padme have always had a close relationship, especially since you are one of the only people who actually knows about her and Anakin.

“Master Kenobi, General (L/N), General Skywalker, it’s always a pleasure to see you,” Padmé said in her always regal and kind voice.

“Senator Amidala, in need of our assistance once again?” Anakin teases her, but still tries to keep the outward formal relationship displayed.

Padmé playfully rolled her eyes and escorts us into the

building that we are supposed to rest for the rest of the trip in.

She brings Anakin to his room first to his dismay, but quietly reassures him that she’ll be back after making sure you, Ahsoka, and Master Kenobi are settled in. Obi-Wan still hasn’t made eye contact with you or even truly acknowledged your presence. Once Padmé shows him to his room, she goes to the two doors across the hall, and lets Ahsoka into one and opens the other.

“and here is your room (Y/N).”

You walk inside and just like everything else on Naboo, the place is absolutely beautiful.

“I’m going to send up some dresses for you to choose from for the ball tonight and we could get ready together, if you want.” Padmé says, seeming excited at the idea of dressing up with you.

“Sorry Padmé, I was just going to wear my robes.” You tell her, while still preoccupied with exploring the room.”

“Didn’t Anakin tell you? To ensure that the supposed assassins don’t realize that they have been compromised, you all are supposed to dress in normal clothes.”

***

After hours of being poked and prodded by some of Padmé’s servants, you finally were ready for the ball. You looked beautiful when you looked in the mirror, but you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable because of this sudden change of appearance. You couldn’t remember the last time you dressed like this and your head still couldn’t wrap around the image it saw in the reflection. The dress you decided to wear was floor-length with a slit that stopped at your mid thigh and was a light blue. The top was a bit more modest but not by much. It was more risque than what you expected to wear, but Padme insisted that it look beautiful on you; also the slit allowed you to strap your lightsaber to your thigh, keeping it accessible, but still hidden. Your hair was in an intricate half-up half-down braid so it looked formal enough for the ball, but if you needed to engage with the potential assassin, it wouldn’t get in the way. As much as you protested, Padmé insisted on you borrowing her jewelry and makeup.

By the time you all finished, It was time to head to the ball. You, Ahsoka, and Padmé all arrive together, and quickly scan the outside for anything suspicious. You head inside and immediately people begin to swarm Padmé and thank her for hosting. You and Ahsoka excuse yourselves and begin to scan the crowd for Anakin and Obi-Wan.

You spot the back of a strawberry-blonde head next to Anakin’s always messy hair talking to a senator you didn’t recognize and begin heading towards them. Ahsoka gets there first, quickly getting Anakin’s attention and talking to him. When Anakin sees you he looks impressed.

“Wow, you clean up nice.” Anakin jokes, making Obi-Wan turn to see who he is talking to. When he sees you his smile falters and his eyes widen a bit. His cheeks start to redden.

“It’s just weird for you as it is for me, trust me” you say trying to overcome the sudden rush of self consciousness you feel.

“N-no you look…radiant, General (L/N).” Obi-Wan breathes out, his eyes scanning your body, slightly widening when they catch your upper thigh peeking through the slit.

You instantly flush at his words and look down in embarrassment from such a compliment from Obi-Wan.

You catch a glimpse of his shined shoes and realize that he, too, is not wearing his Jedi robes. Your eyes trail up his whole body and see he is in robes, but they appear much softer than the rough ones issued by the order and they resemble what a senator would wear. He looks absolutely breathtaking. “And you look…” your voice trails off in shock, “...very handsome, Master Kenobi”

Pamdé finally joins you, unintentionally saving you from the awkward tension. Anakin greets her and as always he instantly appears calmer and more relaxed in her presence.

You awkwardly sit in on their conversation, trying to distract yourself by scanning the room for anything or person out of place. Suddenly, the music began to shift to slower and people began to pair off. Anakin started slow dancing with Padmé, making sure that there was enough room between them to avoid any suspicion.

Obi-Wan walks into your field of vision.

“Would you like to dance with me...to blend in of course.” He says while raising his hand in an invitation.

“I-I would love to.”

Obi-Wan’s rough hand encloses your own and he leads you to the dance floor. Once, there his other hand comes around and rests above the small of your back and yours over his shoulder, hovering over the skin, scared to touch him. You start to slow dance and Obi-Wan glances over at your stiff hand, and his mouth breaks out into a grin

“Relax General (L/N). You are allowed to touch me.” He says quietly.

Your eyes widen at his sudden boldness, but comply nonetheless. He readjusts his grip on your hand so that they woven together and you place your hand on his shoulder. You look at him with uncertainty, but he gives you a small smile of encouragement and nod to approve of your actions. The longer you dance, the more you relax into it, and only internally freakout at his hand sliding a bit lower to the small of your back and his body moving much closer to yours.

You can’t imagine he isn’t seeing the emotions you are trying so hard to contain in your force signature. Your mind is freaking out at just how close Obi-Wan’s body was to you. Your body, however, wants to completely submit to the feelings and melt into his. By the time the song ends, you two are so close that you can feel Obi-Wan’s shaky breath on your cheek, and it all becomes much too overwhelming.

“Excuse me.” you quickly say, removing yourself from Obi-Wan.

You quickly shove your way through the crowds until you find doors leading out to a balcony. You open them and take several gulps of the fresh night air in an attempt to calm yourself. You hold onto the railing and stare out into the starry Naboo sky, trying to make sense of what the hell just happened. Suddenly, you feel the doors open behind you and sense Obi-Wan’s presence.

“Did I upset you, General (L/N)?”

“I can’t do this right now, Obi-Wan” you mutter, dropping the pleasantries of titles.

“And what exactly is this” He questioned, his voice sounding more desperate than you have ever heard before.

You turn to face him and see that his facial expression matches his tone: desperate and concerned. His eyes search your face as if he can find what you're thinking if he just looks hard enough.

You shake your head in disbelief.

“Do you think this is a game, Obi-Wan” you demanded.

His facial expression warped into one of confusion.

“A what?” He replies, seeming taken aback.

“A game. Do you think toying with me is fun? You just want to see how flustered you can make me, huh?”

“General (L/N), I don’t understand where all of this coming fro-”

“I am attached to you!” you interrupt, not realizing what you are saying before it leaves your mouth. Your eyes widen and you watch in horror as Obi-Wan comprehends what you just said.

“You are attach-” Obi-Wan starts, trying to understand the meaning behind your words but before he can, a loud crash is heard from inside the building. You rush past the frozen Jedi, relieved for the unexpected interruption. You attempt to shove down all of your feelings so you can evaluate the situation going on inside the ballroom.

People are fleeing from every which way, making it damn near impossible to understand what exactly is going on. The lights go out, making the room break out into even more chaos. You finally see Ahsoka, who is hovering over Senator Organa’s body. Thinking the worst, you rush over, but are quickly relieved to see him alive. Ahsoka notices you and fills you in.

“A sniper hidden in one of the interior balconies attempted to assassinate Senator Organa, but they only hit his blast vest, thankfully. Anakin is scanning the area right now to see if he can find them before they escape”

“Stay here with the senator, I’m gonna look around and see if I can find anything,” You say, running off to scan the outside of the building. Once you get out there, you see Anakin in pursuit of a tall figure running in the direction of a small single-person starship. You join in the chase, catching up to Anakin. “It’s a bounty hunter, she may have information on who wants Senator Organa dead!” He yells, not at all winded by the sprinting he is currently doing.

She gets to her ship, quickly hopping in and starting up the engine. You and Anakin jump onto the wings and ignite your lightsabers to try and disable the ship from leaving. The ship begins to hover just above the ground and veer left and right in an attempt to throw the two of you off.

“Where the hell is Obi-Wan!” Anakin swore while trying to maintain his balance.

“Finally ready to admit that you need me, Anakin? I thought I’d never live to see the day,” Obi-Wan suddenly quips, as if the last twenty minutes never happened, and uses his lightsaber to effectively damage the ship's engines. The bounty hunter tries to jump out, but Anakin quickly grabs her and throws her to the ground. The entire time that the girl is being put into custody and brought to the holding cell, you avoid Obi-Wan completely, mortified that you confessed how you feel for him.

When the whole ordeal is taken care of and she is set to return to Coruscant with you guys to be questioned there, Padmé insists that you, Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Ahsoka stay another night to rest. You quickly take her up on that offer, thankful that you can try to ease your embarrassment with another night with a hot shower and plush bed.

You head straight to your room, not bothering to talk to anyone, and immediately take a shower. You sit there under the scalding hot water trying to process what you have done. When you get out, you change into your pajamas. You try to relax, but quickly realize that you need to do something to resolve the unsettled feeling you have in the pit of your stomach. As much as you hate to admit it, you need to talk to Obi-Wan. You just have to say that you didn’t mean what you said and that it was just word-vomit, no true meaning behind them. You open your door and are about to step out until you realize that the man you want to see is right there, with his hand raised, about to knock on the door. His eyes widen in shock at the sudden opening of the door but before he can react you quickly try to explain yourself.

“Master Kenobi! I-I was just about to come see you. You see, I truly didn’t mean what I said earlier. It-t m-must have been the stress getting to m-” You ramble but quickly are cut off by the feeling of Obi-Wan’s hands cradling the sides of your face.

You look up in surprise but see his eyes holding a questioning look, asking if this is alright. You quickly nod and his lips are on yours. Obi-Wan’s kiss is just how you imagined it would be like: Soft and sweet and with his beard tickling your cheeks. His hands stay on your face as he pulls away all too soon and rests his forehead against your own and catches his breath.

“I have grown quite attached to you, as well, (F/N).”

[factual-fantasy]

Got 20 more asks, with some art this time! :}

Thank you! I’m very glad you like the way I draw them!

As to how I draw their glasses or any tips I have.. I just draw them exactly the way the show draws them, except they’re more square than rectangle.

Some tips?

Eyebrows go over the glasses, always. The little line coming down in the center of the glasses touches where the eyes connect. The bottom of the lenses go right about to the middle of the nose. Don’t make them too big, leave room for the eyebrows and the forehead. Make sure the glasses peek over the edge of the face, but don’t make them too wide, leave room for the sideburns and skin by the glasses arms. The glasses arms go right above where the ear connects to the head.

I would suggest looking up some references, from both the show and from other artists. My way of drawing glasses aren't perfect, but clearly they’re decent because you wanted to know how I draw them XD

Just do some research, look up some screen shots and try to redraw them. Heck, even trace them. Eventually you’ll find a way of drawing them that you like, like I did. :}

Oh! Thank you!.. But uh.. polite pass. I don’t drink coffee.. ●﹏●;

Thank you, for everything you’ve said.

I don’t think I’m okay anymore. I’ve been trying so hard to get my old self back, but its just not working. My energy, my motivation, my smile, everything, its just all gone. I’m so overwhelmed with all this doubt and uncertainty that I just don’t now how to function anymore.

Drawing is the only thing in my life I work towards and care about, and I am not exaggerating. But I’m loosing it. I don’t know how to do it anymore. I feel like pieces of my brain are slowly rotting away or something. I just fell awful and escaping to my little imaginary world isn’t working anymore.

Its like all the life is just getting sucked out of me. Although my new job is helping, I don't know if that’s going to be the cure. Peoples opinion of me weighs down so heavily on my shoulders that I hide my true self away in shame. I’m so afraid of being hated or upsetting anyone that you don't even know my real name.

I don't know what to do anymore. My memory is certainly getting worse and I have absolutely no drive to do anything other than drawing what so ever, and even THAT is starting to fail. I must be broken, like a shattered mirror, but I’m missing some pieces and don't even have a way to glue them back together if I somehow find them again anyway, so why even bother looking for them?

I just don’t know what to do anymore. Getting this job better fix it.

Of course! ♡ඩᴗඩ♡

Except for Big Blue. He’s “that guy is huge and can literally kick me to the moon” sized.

My Decepticons? In my brain soup currently. I haven’t found the energy or the motivation to draw them yet. 

In the story? They’re all aboard the nemesis as far as I have decided.

I actually don’t drink any hot beverages.. I don’t drink coffee, I’ve never had tea and hot chocolate makes my stomach queasy. I don’t even really drink milk. or sodas or anything else. I just drink water, only water. That’s enough for me.

As for the characters though? Well let me think... let me split it onto categories.

Tea drinkers:

Brown Suburban

Ranger 

Coffee drinkers:

Honda

A.T.Dragster

Hot chocolate drinkers:

Jeepy

White Truck

Miata

Beluga

U.M.Dragster

Both tea and coffee drinkers:

Escort

Suburban

Vega

Volvo

Green Truck

All of the above:

Beluga

None of the above:

Red Van

Hot Apple cider vinegar:

Bash Buggy

The primary reason why Bash Buggy was freaking out is because he was just scooped up off the ground out of no where.

He’s basically legally blind, so he didn’t instantly go, “Oh this is fine its just Brown Suburban.” He just went

Not that I can remember.. But I have made some AUs and I made a little brown puppy a part of one of them, does that count?

I have never played any of them myself.. but I have watched others play them and I have always liked watching them freak out over FNAF 2.

I also like FNAF 2 because it has almost all of my favorite characters in it. :} 

I believe Ratchet would’ve had to inject the Synthetic Energon into himself when Volvo wasn’t around, because Volvo certainly would’ve stopped him if he was there. Even if it meant wrestling Ratchet to the ground to get that stuff out of his hand.

But sadly, Ratchet would have been completely infected by the time Volvo would have been around. He would’ve probably found Ratchet on the floor when Raf was trying to wake him up.

At first he’d think that he was hurt, or had that same “heart attack” thing like Escort did. He would panic and try to wake him. Ratchet would stir and groan about them being so noisy or something. When Ratchet sits up and looks Volvo in the eyes is when he’d see it.

Volvo’s entire demeanor would change, and he’d just look devastated.

“Ratchet... y.. you didn’t...“ Raf would look up and ask, “Didn’t.. what?”

Volvo would be so overwhelmed with the realization of what Ratchet had done, that he couldn’t even really respond to Raf.

I cant remember the episode very well.. but I believe as the episode progressed, Volvo would be constantly following Ratchet around. He knows that this stuff very dangerous because its incomplete, but he doesn’t know what its going to do to Ratchet.

He would try to get Ratchet to chill out when ever he’s about to do something stupid, and would’ve been there to try and reason with him when he wanted to fight Bulkhead.

He would’ve been there when Optimus and the gang confronted them. Ratchet might’ve shot some nasty comment Volvo’s way and Volvo would’ve been hurt, but he also would’ve gotten a lot more worried about Ratchet too. Getting that nasty comment really just confirmed to Volvo that Ratchet’s lost it. The Synthetic Energon has taken over and he worries about what might happen next.

When he heard about Ratchet getting hurt and bleeding out, he freaked out of course. Him and the other medics would’ve patched him up and Volvo would watch over him. He’d hover around nearby and check his vitals more often than is necessary.

After Ratchet woke up and had that chat with Optimus that I think I remember him having.. I feel like he would make a point to find Volvo and talk to him about it.

Volvo may be a younger medic, but he’s still tough. Thing’s don’t get to him as easily.. well, not normally.

But when Ratchet first woke up? The look on Volvo’s face spoke volumes. The way Volvo acted out of character and practically became glued to Ratchet was concerning. He wasn't reacting to the situation in the way Ratchet believed he would.

When he asked, Volvo would respond with something along the lines of,

“When I saw the color of your optics, I knew exactly what you had done. And it.. it frightened me.“ Volvo would begin to look saddened.

“I didn’t know what was going to happen and I.. I just.. I didn’t know how to help you..“ Volvo would look hurt, and like a child honestly. This tough little medic was genuinely struggling to cope with the situation. 

“I now realize that.. I didn’t truly understand just how dire our situation is.. “

Volvo would fiddle with his hands nervously for a second. 

“I understand why you took that risk, but still it hurts to know that you felt the need to walk into something that dangerous for the slight chance it might make things a little better..“

Essentially, Volvo didn't really fully know just how bad their situation is. And seeing his friend risk his life like that really got the point across like a kick to the gut.

They’d talk it over and get through it at the end of the day, but now Volvo has a new perspective of this situation, and of Ratchet.

Glad to hear I’m not alone in this! :}

Despite its controversy and my personal saltiness towards certain aspects of this series, I overall genuinely really did enjoy watching the Bayverse movies. All of them.

The Bumblebee movie was fantastic, and I like Transformers: Prime. But that’s it, just those three. :/

Thank you for all the compliments!! :> I will do my best to keep these things up!.. Even though its becoming rather difficult..

Thank you! I worked very hard on it! ♡(இ﹏இ`｡)♡.

SPEAKING OF VEGAS DESIGN!!--

As I am writing this, all 16 transformer ocs are getting a make over. (mostly Jeepy) So keep and eye on this post! Because if someone wants to use them for references, the post could suddenly change and the old designs will be outdated! 

Don’t be so shy! XD These asks are fun! :}

Now Bash Buggy.. he wouldn’t actually register what you just did if you kissed him on the cheek.

The protective plating on his face has been peeled back so if you kissed him on the cheek, you would sting him a little and you would get a little bit of Energon on your lips.

He’d wince and look at you like?? What was that?? He cant see the Energon on your lips so he wouldn’t put 2 and 2 together.

But if you told him that you just kissed him on the cheek, he’d then get so confused and flustered. Like, “I?? Wh-.. but-.. thanks?? Uh??”

[cytusimagines]

How about characters actions when their partner is a diabetic?

This is probably the longest post I’ve made and I’m so sure I may have gotten some things wrong, but here we go!

Cytus Characters With a Diabetic S/O

Aroma/PAFF

-So I like to think that PAFF has probably the best healthcare and will get you on that plan ASAP

Insulin is expensive, that she knows

If she can bring down the costs for you, she’ll do it

Hell she might as well buy your medication She does by the way

-You cannot convince me that Aroma does not have a planner

Inside it is her schedule for meetings, interviews, concerts, etc.

But she always makes time for you

Especially to make sure you’re eating on a consistent schedule and checking your levels

Will move everything around her schedule when you mention that you have a doctor’s appointment coming up

Will also attend said appointments to make you more comfortable

-She is aware of what you can or can’t eat

Sometimes when you have dinner with her and Helena, she helps cook

This is to make sure Helena doesn’t do anything that could make your levels too high or too low

Of course she always asks for your input

-Overall a loving and supportive partner to her S/O

Neko

-Let’s be real, she’s not the best equipped to help

-But as long as you explain to her what she should do, she’ll be fine. Maybe.

-Will hound you about your insulin and levels if she suspects something off

“Don’t lie to me Y/N! Nothing gets past Neko!”

If you thought she was annoying before, she will be even more annoying if you even forget for a nanosecond

Sometimes she forgets though, especially in between streams and making music

-Please help Neko understand it more so she’s not constantly panicking about your health

-Honestly she does her best to help, but you’ll have to give her reminders to relax from time to time

Nora & ROBO_Head

-Nora knows how challenging something like diabetes can be to have

She doesn’t have it, but considering that the Ender virus took her ability to walk, she at least shares the sentiment

-She programs ROBO to have an alarm when it’s time to check your levels and take your insulin

-She can also be pretty strict when it comes to your diet/meal plan

You’re always allowed to give her feedback, but you can also tell her to tone it down if you think it’s too strict

It’ll take some time to adjust, but she will listen to you

-Where Nora is lacking in emotion, ROBO picks up the speed for her

On days where you beat yourself up, he’ll play you some music he made to make you feel better

His screen will show a pixelated heart to let you know that he loves you

Nora understands that it’s hard to keep everything balanced and in check, so she reminds you that there is always tomorrow to do it right

Ivy

-Walking database based on everything she’s been seeing on the cyTus network

-Let’s not forget that she is slowly gaining a “human” side to her as her research went on

She’s protected humans in the past from dangerous situations

So to see that she is protective around you is not surprising

-I think when you two are in private, she knows you can take care of yourself just fine

-It’s when you’re out in public going to a restaurant that she starts to worry

She will make it clear to the staff of any changes you would want to the item you want to eat

She may not be a Karen, but she can probably exert that energy off to the staff

You’ll probably need to talk to her about letting you do the talking when it comes to ordering your food from now on

But be patient, she’s still pretty new to this

Crystal PUNK/Cherry

-Sherri has some family that are diabetic, so she knows what they go through

That doesn’t mean their experiences are the exact same as yours

-She doesn’t hover over you about your diet or when to take your insulin

You should know how to take care of yourself

Will give you small reminders just in case you forget though

-Cooking dates will become a thing

She wants to learn how to make your favorite foods

She also wants to learn more about what you can and can’t eat

Please give her kisses for a good job

-Overall she won’t baby you about it and knows you’re able to take care of yourself

Vanessa

-So let’s say Vanessa survived the final events of the game and Ivy & PAFF were able to fix both her body and core

She’s back to being kind hearted and more stable than she ever has been before

She was also able to escape from A.R.C since they were using her to keep the cyTus network up and running

-Years of knowledge don’t necessarily prepare her to help with diabetes

It may have been around since her time or it may have developed after The Decommission, I don’t have the answers exactly

Regardless, she’s just not prepared

You’ll have to tell her more about it and how it affects you

-Despite being unprepared, she is more than willing to put in the effort and help you live a normal life

As normal as it can be since she’s still recovering from what happened to her

She’ll most likely go to Ivy for help since Ivy has lived upon humans longer than her

-Chances are with time, she will know more based on your experiences and anything she’s researched with the help of Ivy

Xenon

-First thing’s first- teach him about diabetes!

I promise he wants to learn more about it and how it affects you

Is it Type 1? Type 2?

What type of medicine do you take and how many times a day?

Is there any food you can’t eat at all?

Tell him everything please-

-You bet he made a spreadsheet and spent the next few nights researching everything he could find on diabetes

-He can’t go to your doctor appointments most of the time since work keeps him busy, but when he does he asks them multiple questions

Cares so much about your health, even if it sounds like he’s being rude to them

-Will help you with formulating a good diet based off what he knows about diabetes and what the doctor recommends

Obviously you’ll have to give him some input since you know your body the best

-Has a schedule on when you should check your levels in case you forget

ConneR

-Very knowledgeable man, we love that

He has no knowledge of how diabetes works and assumed the worst when you told him

You had to inform him of how it actually works and how it’s affecting you on a daily basis

-Now he doesn’t panic, but he sure was worried for a second there

-You know, he would be extra and write a whole ass song for you

It’s based on your experiences and everything you’ve told him about diabetes

He’ll play it for you when you’re having a bad day or feeling upset about having to deal with it

-Tea time is his favorite time of day with you

He does love a good cake with his tea, but he won’t have it around you

-He’s also not afraid to correct anyone who spreads misinformation about diabetes

Why anyone would do that, he has no clue

He’ll go after them though, that shit is not allowed so long as he lives on the internet

Joe

-My man respects the fuck out of you!

You cannot look in his eyes and not see how much love he has for you!

And you got diabetes? Shit, he doesn’t care- he loves you for you!

-With that being said, he’s stupid and has on occasion slipped up on what you can’t eat when he’s cooking dinner

“Babe, how come you’re avoiding that?”

“Because I can’t eat it.”

“Son of a bi-”

-He is doing his hardest to cook you delicious food while working with your meal plan

I think it calls for good job kisses and cuddles

He definitely deserves it

-Anyone at the bar that decides to make fun of his S/O gets whopped by a pool stick and his foot up their ass

He does not accept anyone talking shit about them just because they have to deal with diabetes

All the regulars know not to fuck with him or his S/O

-He’s always testing out new dishes and drinks that’ll appeal to more customers with diabetes (just like you!)

Feedback is always appreciated! He accepts your critiques very well

Also free lunch? Who doesn’t want that?

Sagar

-You picked either the right or wrong person to date

-Do you love exercise? Do you love healthy meal dates? Do you love feeling like your core is going to explode?

If you said no to any of these questions, too bad! :D

Sagar is ripped for a reason

And he will ensure that you stay on top of your health 100% of the time

-He’s the partner that will get you up at 7 am to go on a run

“But Sagar, it’s too early-”

To him, it’s never too early to stay in shape and keep you healthy

It is too early for you

-However, he does have fears of something bad happening if he doesn’t keep this up for you

The unknown scares him the most, even if he doesn’t show it

The next time you’re cuddling him, give him those gentle smooches and let him know that you’re going to be okay

You’re not going anywhere anytime soon

Now back to exercising

Rin

-She is an absolute sweetheart and her botanical work may pay off!

When she first heard about your condition, she wasn’t sure on what to do

After a long talk, she understood and took notes on what you need when it comes to her support

-She finds a few plants in her greenhouse that can be added to your food depending on your meal plan

Any time you mention you don’t like eating a certain herb, she puts it on her “Do Not Feed” list

-She can’t exactly cook and leaves that up to you. You know what you can and can’t eat, after all

-Will pick up on your schedule when it comes to checking your levels and taking your insulin

-She is your emotional support Rin when you need her

Cuddles are her favorite thing to do when you’re feeling down

This isn’t an easy condition to deal with and she knows that

Dotes on you and calls you cute nicknames to get you to smile and cheer up

She’s a shy kisser, but cheek and forehead kisses are always up to the plate when it comes to you

[conelly]

( luke hemmings, twenty-two, cismale, he/him ) did you see BYRON CONELLY walking down main street earlier?  you know who i’m talking about, they’re a DECKHAND.  everybody in town says that they’re SANGUINE & NONJUDGEMENTAL, but have a tendency to be IMPRESSIONABLE & VOLATILE too.  BYRON has been in town for ONE AND A BIT years. c'mon, they’re always requesting SWEET CAROLINE by NEIL DIAMOND at karaoke nights.  well, i’m sure you’ll see them soon! ( ooc: sunny, 22, she/her, est )

hi thanks for tuning in, SUNNY here to tell you all a lil bit about westmere’s very own new nd improved favorite loser below. sorry for this summary being all over the place, it’s kinda how my brain works heh which is kinda perfect bc byron will for SURE be all over the place too ( u can rly tell at a certain point i was like ok i give up + i’m posting mf ). let me know if u have any questions about ‘em and most importantly, lmk if you would like to plot a lil connect or sumn 😙

@westmerestarters​ 

FAMBAM + BACKGROUND

born 14 years after the elder conelly ( wanted brother connect !!! ) entered this word to two parents who didn’t seem to read the job description, it was clear that byron wasn’t planned. and down the line, he’d soon realize through the tumultuous household he was brought up in - perhaps never even wanted.

byron’s parents had one constant - and that was fighting. over anything, all the time. there just wasn’t any love between the two and they stayed together for whatever meaningless reasons until byron hit middle school. ( there might’ve been a super short lull in toxicity once byron was born, but it had to be short as his first memories are nothing shy of toxic. )  it was a messy separation ( they never paid the full legal fees for a full divorce ) - his father moving to the coast of nj & his mother moving to a smaller apartment nearby her own mother ( which, due to the negative relationship among his mother + grandmother, also called for more tension ). he’d often be dropped off @ his grandmother’s house for baby-sitting or when he was ‘ becoming too much to handle. ’ eventually his grandmother moved into his cousin’s house ( MONROE ) and although grateful he made a practically new brother, similar tendencies of feeling unwanted occurred when byron noticed their grandmother praising and coddling and favoriting monroe just a bit more.

( his mother was a struggling addict ( and had been her whole life ), but the loneliness, newfound pressures and whatever excuse she was able to name caused her drinking to spiral worse than byron remembered ( even at his young age ) before. )

( his father was rarely in his life, but when he was, he was THE coolest. always played good cop in any situation regarding his mother, despite choosing not to have an active role in byron’s life. byron looked up to him like no other. when he WAS around, he taught byron how to surf, skateboard, play sports, they’d play video games, they’d eat junk food - honestly anything that byron wanted to do. his dad was an adrenaline junkie and created the stepping stones for byron to be one too. he was a marine biologist & pretty successful at that. passionate,  intelligent, but seemingly finding his newfound life a lot better than his previous - which is why he never wanted byron to stay too long, the boy reminded him of her, of the past. )

( his older brother moved out of the house when byron was just a lil kid, they’re not very close and don’t have much in common ... or so it seems. he lives in nyc and they only talk here and there on holidays. he was never a huge part of his life, but it does bum him out to think what could’ve been / could be. )

TO GET THE GIST 

due to never receiving the attention he craved from his family members, he made up for it tenfold in school. he was always talking to everyone, loud, boisterous, gregarious, life of the party; he wanted people to like him and they did. he become a total people pleaser, molding himself to make sure everyone was content and stayed around. impressionable, adaptable. he felt less this way towards adults and had a bit of a rebellious phase, hanging with the wrong crowd & getting into things he probably wouldn’t do otherwise. old habits die hard and he still tries his best to make everyone crack a smile, to remember him - since he believes he won’t be remembered for much else.

after he just barely skated by in high school ( his grades were never as good as his cousin’s and never lived up to his father’s expectations ), byron felt a bit lost. a lot of people had plans, were heading off to college - but already under the assumption he couldn’t reach any expectation in that realm ( a lil self fulfilling prophecy am i right pals ), he stayed in town - caring for his mother who hardly had anything together, his uncle who got sick very quickly & passed, spending time with his grandmother, while he himself fell into a rut. most of his days meant he drove out towards his dad’s place ( dad hardly there now, out and about with his new family ), surfing, smoking, and grabbing some cash doing odd jobs any way he could. he lost any purpose he once had ( but yall would never know it bc who wants to be in someone’s life who’s a buzzkill ? all smiles, baby, all smiles. )

IN WESTMERE

when his cousin offered the opportunity to travel cross-country in his van, byron had nothing to lose. always adventurous in spirit, he immediately said yes - deciding to ignore that ‘obligation,’ that feeling to make sure they were a-ok that he felt towards his parents. he needed an out and this was it. 

after landing in the small connecticut town for the night, the two fell for it - especially since when they got there along the water, it was a summer night + everything landed into place. they decided to stay there a bit longer ... and that eventually turned into more than a year. still antsy to keep traveling and to move around, byron has been ready to head out ... but stays for a few reasons - and them all being people ( bc lbh the surf is not even on point here ok )

his current job is a deckhand ( on a bunch of boats, ppl prob hired him as word of mouth got around that he knew what he was doing ). prob got that knowledge from being by his dad’s on the water when younger ( he’s ... obsessed with the water ) ! and also he’s just a quick learner ok ( ps: if your charrie has a boat pls let’s make somethin happen )

TO KNOW [ headcanons + more ]

his fav karaoke song is sweet caroline bc he knows everyone will be able to sing nd party along. he does it for the ppl, ppl.

he never saw too many baby / kid pics of himself which was kind of a bummer bc he really only remembers negative times - somehow they overpowered ( i bet lil byron was cute as fuck too fml )

he’s super into drugs, hallucinogenics, honestly you name it. it started off w/ him being impressionable, then bored, and now he just enjoys it. despite his mother’s addiction running through his blood, he still continues to do his thang.  

longboards around town so watch your toes

uses 🤙🤙 all the time and not ironically 

has an existential crisis on the daily about purpose but keeps that to himself most times 

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone pls give me a sugar mama idc how we plot it out they don’t have to hook up they can idk idc i just want someone giving him money or expensive things it can be so much fun ok ,, pool boy ? idk sign me up

pls if your muse has a boat, let him be the deckhand ok it will also be so fun and potentially angsty if he fucks something up

a fling 100% - even multiple ? idc listen he is currently sharing a tiny VAN with his COUSIN he needs a place - like an actual bed - to crash on at night

can he save someone who was potentially drowning pls??? he used to be a lifeguard, it can be a cool/fun thread to write out

omg off of that can he teach someone how to swim 

look if anyone is into marine bio, can they somehow know byron’s father ?? i feel like that could make room for a cool plot

also i have an older brother connect on the w/c’s page lmk lmk

give me a good influence that will somehow have him open up + tell him that it’s weird to be so sunshiny all the time. maybe someone who witnesses him at his worst + stays, ya know ??

a bad influence plot where y/c takes this impressionable young lad and puts him through the ringer tbh ( srrsly he’d do a lot for ppl, so ask him to do something illegal for them it’ll be fun )

party pals, smoking pals, on the water 24/7 pals, 

co-worker, other ppl that work on the water ( fishermen?? more deckhands?? captains??)

gimmie someone he accidentally bumped into while longboarding ( he’s a large human it might’ve done damage ok )

i want and need enemies ok i know he’s chill as fuck and wants everyone to like him but there’s always a way to find enemies >:o. anything angsty for REAL.

unrequited thing? where he led someone on?? i’m sure he does this constantly

don’t ruin the friendship thing omg plsssss always so fun

look i’m open for it ALL. every plot u have in mind so lay it on me

[lovelyfictional-imagines]

Colors. (The Tenth Doctor x Reader)

Honestly? You could plug almost any Doctor you want in, instead of Ten. I had yet to post any Ten, though, so I chose him for this. I felt like it was right, but I was literally a pinch away from choosing Eleven.

This was mainly a study in description. I’m trying to get better with them, I’m growing weary of using the same phrases each time. Gotta keep it fresh, spicy. Or whatever it is about my writing you like. 

(S/o E/C) = shade of eye color. For example, amber, aquamarine, dust, etc.

I hope you enjoy, please feel free to send feedback!

Until next fic,

- Ashley

Word Count: 1380 Song: Song for Zula - Phosphorescent

Some say love is a burning thing

That it makes a fiery ring

Oh but I know love as a fading thing

Just as fickle as a feather in a stream

See, honey, I saw love,

You see it came to me

It puts its face up to my face so I could see

Yeah then I saw love disfigure me

Into something I am not recognizing

 Blue. Blue. Blue.

 Azure. Sapphire. Navy, almost, in some places.

 The blue surrounded them, deeper than the distance between them. Mammals larger than them, larger than almost anything, to the human mind, twirled over them. Whines and whistles and clicks, inaudible, traveled through the water as they swam. Fish swam in their schools, striking pops of every incredibly impossible shade of the rainbow against the dark. In every shape, almost every size.

The Doctor watched in awe, unable to keep himself from being completely and utterly mesmerized by the sheer diversity in marine life. Across the transparent tunnel from him, (Y/N) stood, face lifted to the heavens, eyes wide despite her extreme exhaustion. Tucked into a navy coat and socks as thick as his fingers, she still shivered.

Easing towards her, the Doctor allowed his hand to fall free. Fingers reaching silently, hesitantly. Finally they slid clumsily into hers, and instantly she tightened her grip on them. He watched her face now, praying for change. Round and bright despite the circles beneath her eyes, dark against her flushed cheeks. It wasn’t until now he realized how ragged she’d been run, and his hearts ached.

Stepping towards her, close enough to lean over her, the Doctor cupped her face with a touch so delicate, tears formed in the corners of her (E/C) eyes. Their (S/o E/C) irises were almost eclipsed behind the circumference of her pupil, dilated and searching his face. Fear coursed through him, replacing adrenaline entirely.

His lips found her forehead as his other hand reached to join the other, holding her head with great care. A sigh of almost relief fell from her lips, and she all but collapsed into his arms. “We’ll fix it. Best we can. Patch it up, be good as new, eh?”

A weak chuckle rumbled in her chest, felt but not heard.

They both knew how it would work out. It always did.

 See the cage, it called. I said, come on in

I will not open myself up this way again

Nor lay my face to the soil, nor my teeth to the sand

I will not lay like this for days now upon end

You will not see me fall, nor see me struggle to stand

To be acknowledged by some touch from his gnarled hands

You see the cage it called. I said, come on in

I will not open myself this way again.

 Green. Green. Green.

 Peridot. Emerald. Sage in the sunlight, seaweed in the shade.

 Trunks as thin as rulers and as tall as buildings scraped the pale, melancholy blue sky. Hanging from them were long, dark branches with viridescent, curled leaves. Birds of every shape and shade flitted between each tree, singing their foreign song, different from every species known to mankind.

Rough, black terrain stretched to a mosaic of colorful rocks and shells, leading to the open sea, rolling away from them as they approached. (Y/N) spread her (B/T) arms around her, inhaling the deep ocean spray. A brown, lightweight cardigan flowed loosely around her body, thin gray dress beneath twirling with the wind.

The Doctor leaned back against a sharp rock, watching his companion with adoring eyes. Her bare feet sunk into the receding sand, and for a few moments at a time she’d curl her arms in, cradle herself as if she were made of glass, before moving down the beach again. The pockets of her outer layer were weighed down with discoveries, souvenirs to add to her constantly growing collection.

(Y/N) began to make her way back to him, jogging lightly to keep her toes from sinking again. The Doctor stepped into a confident stride, moving to meet her in the middle. A wide, lopsided smile curved across her face, cheeks dimpled with the happiness she held. He stretched his arms out to lift her, and she crashed into his embrace, squealing as he twirled her with ease. Bringing her down, tighter against his chest, her airy laughter died down to a pleased hum.

A last he set her down and back onto her feet. Leaning back into his chest, (Y/N) took his hands into hers, tugging them around her. The Doctor chuckled at her antics and allowed her to maneuver him any way she wanted. They ended up pressed together, his chin against the top of her head, arms shielding her body partially.

“I love being here.” her voice was delicate, fragile, barely there.

“Me too.” he whispered.

“I meant with you.”

“Me too.”

 You see the moon is bright in that treetop night

I see the shadows that we cast in the cold clean light

I might fear I go and my heart is white

And we race right out on the desert plains all night

So honey I am now, some broken thing

I do not lay in the dark waiting for day here

Now my heart is gold, my feet are right

And I'm racing out on the desert plains all night

 Purple. Purple. Purple.

 Some grand painting, a natural work of art swirling above their heads. Mulberry merged with pomegranate in some places, fading into periwinkle in others, deepening to amethyst everywhere else.    

 Cool, damp grass bowed to the call of the wind, swaying with ease. The Doctor watched (Y/N) ahead of him, trudging onward as always, eager to see, to learn. Violaceous shadows above them and smatterings of white, the stars, their only source of light. He’d saved this planet for some reason, a long time ago. Now he realized he’d saved it for her. 

“C’mon, old man. You’re taking your sweet time.”

“All the time in existence, why not?”

“Touché.” She smiled, sweet on her round face.

The Doctor cautiously eased to the ground, smoothing the grass back as she sat next to him. Sliding into his side, she allowed his arm to fall around her shoulders, and hers curled around his torso. Gentle brown eyes focused on her, and he tucked his glasses up, up into his messy hair. Her sweater was soft against his fingertips as they brushed against the hem of it, dipping beneath ever so slightly.

Watching her had become one of his hobbies, something he looked forward to. As her inquisitive, deep (E/C) eyes searched the skies, scanned the landscape, his etched the image of her in that very moment into his vast memory. The picture of her, (pale/dark) skin shimmering beneath the moonless, unending night, hopeful gaze cast up, cheeks rosy from the cold. (H/L) waves furled and unfurled, tickling his nose as he leaned in.

In perfect synchronization she turned to him, and their noses brushed clumsily. The Doctor chuckled lowly, husky in her face. Curling his hand around the base of her neck, (Y/N) moved into his touch. Her shy grin met his smirk, and it felt as if the impossible sky had fallen in on itself. Their lips melded together, beautifully and perfectly, just like the first time.

Every kiss they shared took his breath away. Molded his broken pieces together. The bitter, shattered shell of a man, a hero to some, was reassembled and glued together, every time he’d confess to something he’d done centuries ago, and she’d look at him with those kind eyes and fix him again. If he lost her, he’d die. In every way, and when he did, inevitably, he knew he’d perish.

He knew it.

The Doctor knows everything.

 So some say love is a burning thing

That it makes a fiery ring

All that I know love as a caging thing

Just a killer come to call from some awful dream

And all you folks, you come to see

You just to stand there in the glass looking at me

But my heart is wild, and my bones are steel

And I could kill you with my bare hands if I was free

[sebongie-loves]

youtuber!wonwoo

someone said to write more of this which i’m very happy that there’s someone who enjoys this, so here ya go! <3 

enjoy :)

wonwoo is that one youtuber that is cute, emo, relatable, awkward but seriously funny and got shipped with his own bestfriend

i mean by this y’all probably already know but his style is like daniel howell

he does random videos and probably films it at random times like this one time he made a video something like ‘What’s On My Mind at 3AM’ which literally him only talking for 5 minutes and it’s all giberish 

“who is the first person that made languages, the very first one. why do they decided to named pen ‘pen’? look at this pen, does it make you wanna say ‘pEn’? like, why?”

but actually an intellectual

savage most of the time 

saying stuffs like

“the reason why i don’t want to do collabs outside my circle of friends? uuuh snakes are not exactly my favourite animal”

probably hates everyone beside his friends

even with his friends, he acts like he hates them but everyone knows wonwoo is just a soft guy with a hard shells

like crabs 

but he doesn’t like seafoods 

ironic 

wears long sleeves jumpers or like jacket just for the sake of sweater paws that makes all of his subcribers go ‘awwwwwwwwwwww’ and soft for him

but this one time, he forgot and filmed with the sleeves rolled all the way his elbow, showing his muscular arms and his subscribers just went like ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’ 

so his subscribers are constantly torn between him being soft or sexy like dang this boy can do both

he loves communicating with his viewers so he often goes on twitter or tumblr. just lurking and replying at 4am

does q&a everytime he ran out of ideas 

he does book review at every end of the month, like ‘January Favourites’ and does book hauls

which his viewers often joke something like wonwoo probably loves to watch make up artists that’s why he makes this kind of videos but with books  

he lives in korea. in fact, he lives there for most of his life and kudos for him, he learnt english at a very young age which makes english a language that he can speak comfortably

when he made this videos for the first time it was very impulsive like he did not expect anyone to watch him but appearantly lots of people found him cute so basically he grew up on youtube

started his career at a very young age really makes him who he is right now

sometime speaks korean and his fans just lose their shit after hearing him speaking in korean

he’s the cutest when talking about his favourite things like games, books and his friends

always spreading awareness about mental illness, equality, racism etc and not scared about it because he thinks that’s the right thing to do 

you’re just an ordinary person. living your life, which is also mean you’re binge watching youtube until 3 am when you need to wake up at 6am

your first video of wonwoo is doing a book review on your favourite books and damn the boy has the same opinion as you 

you later find him really cute and you’re enjoying his content so much that it almost makes you just stay on youtube all day all night

just like what you did everytime you found a new youtuber, you followed his twitter and his instagram and turn his post notification on so you know when he’ll drop something 

wonwoo notices someone that he thought is attractive on his comment section like seriously he cannot help himself but to search at your profile picture on his new videos and when he found your instagram and your twitter?

his life is a freakin mess because he seems like he likes you so much

it’s 3am at your place and you’re watching youtube like usual when a notification pops out from twitter. you usually found it annoying but not this time

‘Jeon Wonwoo liked your Tweet’

you almost throw your phone across the room and screaming at the top of your lungs when you found out it is the real him, not some kind of a troll but you still value your life that you hold everything so that your parents wont run to your room bringing knifes on their hands

wonwoo, in the other side, was almost destroyed his roommates’ ear and doors when he realised he accidentaly liked one of your tweets before you sending him a direct messages

“so, what’s the deal of a famous youtuber liking my tweet?”

you sent it without expecting a reply, that he would just go on with his life and forget the whole thing but no you’re wrong

“i’m sorry it was an accident”

“my tweet from four months ago?”

“.... okay i stalked you you got me.”

a direct message leads to being mutuals, being mutuals leads to giving each other personal information, giving each other personal information leads to texting all day all night, texting leads to voice calls and who know you’ll ended up video calling with him? :)

you ended up liking him as jeon wonwoo, not that youtuber wonwoo

and wonwoo should never lie about his crush on you because it’s obvious

he prioritise to video call you or voice call you 

he starts to give a content where it’s so obvious that he’s in love with someone

you love how he is always around you

he’s always there when you’re sad and comforting you

when you’re happy, he is always around to talk with you

when you’re lonely, he’s the one that is understanding

everyone around you and him know this relationship between you two and how much you want to meet them. wonwoo would like to visit but no matter how much he wants to prioritise you but he still needs to pay his bills and his foods so he’s really sorry that he cannot meet you anytime soon

all you can give him is a reassurance, saying things like ‘that’s okay we can meet someday, trust me!’

and that day comes

it was your birthday 

you’re video calling with wonwoo that is holding a small cake with candles to celebrate your birthday when your family and friends come into your room saying “we are sure that you’ll love this more than any luxurious items in this world”

that was when you found out you’re going to a trip to south korea

and now here you are, with a thousand butterflies in your stomach and you’re seconds away from meeting wonwoo

“y/n!!” 

a deep voice welcomed you, the deep voice you always heard against your phone screen or through your earphone is now calling your voice irl sounds so.. unbelievable?

no matter how hard it is to believe, wonwoo is there. standing with a cardboard that is decorated with pink glittery paint which you never expected him to hold that 

“this is my friend’s works but i guess it’s either you’ll love it or you’ll hate it.” he says with a smile, an awkward smile because he is so shy to meet you and happy at the same time 

you just can’t help yourself but to hug him and him replying the hug

“i can’t believe you’re real!”

“well i am but it’s just.. idk i’m so overwhelm and so happy that you’re here” 

he pats your head before breaking the hug. “now ready for the south korea’s adventure?”

“you mean, binge watching something in your room until 3am?”

he grinned and took your suitcase, bringing it to a taxi stop nearby. “you know me so much.”

who would’ve known? you who are living your boring life suddenly dating your favourite youtuber and now you’re in his room, in his embrace, cuddling with him?

even his touch still feels surreal to you and both of you enjoy every seconds of it

it worth your time

he is worth your time. 

going back and forth to south korea and him going back and forth to your place is not the easiest thing

who would’ve known, you’ll be living on another country with a guy and his trusty camera and his social platform that receives a lot of love by everyone?

well that happened and you two are so drunk in love 

thank you for reading!

i was writing this and it got deleted and i hope it still good despite me writing it in hurry :( and the prompt has been on my draft for 382910 years now omg 

[angeltriestoblog]

I’ve been thinking and writing and thinking about writing

This time last year, I spent my free time cooped up in my university’s study hall. There, I would drink from smuggled cups of vending machine coffee, in the hopes of converting my lethargy into caffeine, and the caffeine into words. My dream publication at the time had opened up internship applications, and though they set no deadline, I pressured myself to finish all the requirements as fast as I could. Every impulse decision I had was always coupled with this need to execute at the soonest possible time, like my brain knew if I took a second longer, my common sense would kick in and pull the brakes. I guess my failure to think everything through reflected in my cover letter template (lazy), resume (unremarkable), sample works (in retrospect, bland and uninspiring), and the absence of an acceptance letter in my inbox.

I have lost respect for said publication since then, though not because I harbored bitterness in my heart: their failure to compensate hardworking interns as well as the steep decline in the quality of their content should be enough reason. (Looks like I dodged a bullet back there.) Though it can’t be denied that at the time, I was heartbroken. The feeling lingered with me longer than I cared to admit. Despite getting featured on a national broadsheet and accepted into my school’s student paper less than a month later, I still couldn’t bring myself to be fully confident in my skill set because of that one specific, indirect rejection.

Which is why, being where I am now and having achieved as much as I have in a span of five short months feels like the highest form of vindication. Quarantine boredom compelled me to submit an article pitch to the then newly-launched Underdog, an online platform dedicated to the digital native’s latest preoccupation. It was a piece about the boybands I loved and lost (read: the dissolution of One Direction, and every other group I adored with the same degree of intensity), one I was actually planning to post on the blog. But in a span of a few weeks, my idea was accepted, refined, revised, and turned into a full-fledged essay that landed me my first ever paycheck.  

I was still on some euphoric high, emboldened beyond belief, when I chose to take it a notch higher and apply as a staff writer for one of my all-time favorite magazines. During the summer before college, I was paralyzed by a legitimate existential crisis that left me aimless and afraid. I turned to the Internet for solace, and in my search for a voice of reason, I found Lithium Magazine, and their collection of articles which viewed life in the authentic, critical, occasionally self-deprecating way only Gen Z teens know how. I was aware being turned down by them would easily mean a one-way ticket to retirement for me; thank God my inner critic was taking a power nap or else it would have talked me out of it for sure. The day after I submitted my accomplished application form and a far more impressive portfolio of sample articles (by my standards, at least), I woke up to an acceptance letter and just knew life was not going to be the same.

The past four months I’ve spent as a contributor for Lithium have been some of my most fulfilling as a writer. I am constantly being pushed to the limits of my imagination and creativity when it comes to the content I produce. I can’t find it in me to half-ass pitches or beat around the bush in paragraphs: I owe it to the effortlessly talented people I work with, and the impressive body of work they have managed to accumulate over the years. My first pieces for the month of July were about the effectivity of online therapy in a Filipino context, and the irony of being a low-maintenance friend during a time when the need for human connection is higher than ever. This was followed by my personal essay in defense of basic girls: my favorite one so far, and probably my boss’ too, considering that it’s an Editor’s Pick for the month of August. Though I am infinitely proud of them, as they are my first forays into the international publishing world, I know I can (and thus am determined to) do better.

Since then, I’ve churned out articles on an almost-daily basis for an array of online and print zines. I scout for inspiration in the morning and once struck by lightning, I type away until roosters start to crow once again. Most days, I only took a time out for the daily two-hour movie. It seemed like I was working a part-time job instead of nurturing a hobby. But it never felt like a chore to me. I simply love what I do and I feel like the fact that it shows is the reason why sites are kind enough to publish my work. 

You can view my portfolio if you want to see everything I’ve put out so far but here are five of my most recommended, in case you’re too lazy for that!

The story of my coming-of-age based on the usernames I had on social media platforms, for Uniquely Aligned;

An expose on all-girls Catholic high schools in the Philippines and their inaction towards sexual harassment cases, for Ashamed Magazine;

A part-review of Patron Saints of Nothing by Randy Ribay, part-rant on the evident lack in Western media that accurately portrays Filipino life, for Reclamation Magazine;

A piece on why talking about mental health should never be a one-way street, for Gen Rise Media;

A love letter to one of my favorite movies of all time, and its flawed eponymous protagonist, for Mid-Heaven Magazine

On a rather tangential note, I also started expanding my network on LinkedIn, though I wasn’t exactly sure what I was hoping to get out of this exercise. I simply enjoyed the process of generating new variations of the same job descriptions. One day, I was sent an email by Riya, the Executive Director of The Young Writers Initiative, a nonprofit that provides resources for aspiring authors to improve their craft and advance their career. They wanted to recruit me to be a mentor for freelancing for their upcoming summer internship program. I had just woken up then and had to rub the sleep from my eyes to read it properly. Apparently, I was recommended by a connection (hi, Srilekha!) who took my sample works as an obvious display of my credibility in the field. Given that this sounded like an exciting opportunity, I immediately agreed. Everything happened at a pretty fast pace after that, as I got swept up in the process of selecting a mentee and figuring out what I could possibly teach them. I guess I didn’t find the time to process what exactly was going on, and what it meant for me as a writer.

It didn’t take long for the impostor syndrome to hit. And quite hard, if I may add. I was due for an interview with Madison, one of my fellow TYWI mentors and I had scanned the questions she sent me. Though I clearly knew what advice I would give to aspiring freelance writers, or had a routine in mind that allowed me to balance all my existing priorities, my hands felt like they were loaded with cement. I could barely type on the document before me. I must have had a staring contest with my taunting cursor for an hour.

I mean, maybe I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t have the right to say them. After all, whatever I knew, I borrowed from someone else - perhaps an actual authority in the field. Wasn’t I just some girl who got lucky during the quarantine? While the current state of the world forced everyone into stagnancy, I coped best with the help of the written word. Had everyone else been under the same circumstances, I wouldn’t be in my current situation. Needless to say, when the actual feature came out, I spiraled. 

I wish I could claim that I only had to do x and y for the storm cloud above my head to go away. But as controversial as it sounds, I maintain that no writer fully gets rid of impostor syndrome. In fact, let me widen the scope of my statement: no creative can do it. I have never known anybody with both an inclination toward the arts and a strong sense of confidence. It’s like our limitless imagination only raises the already impossibly high standards we hold ourselves against. We never really think highly of ourselves to begin with, so when we meet a goal, achieve something we’ve only ever dreamt of, we bring ourselves down. We invalidate our hard work and dismiss it as an act of charity by the karmic forces of the universe.

Thankfully, I have an amazing support system: my immediate family members and closest friends, always ready to offer reassurance when it’s scarce (hold on, I got these intense Economics war flashbacks GOD). I seriously don’t know where I’d be without them. Actually, I do know. Probably wallowing in pools of self-deprecation. I think I would’ve ended up chickening out of new opportunities on the sole basis of my self-imposed inexperience. My loved ones were the quickest to remind me that I was only a beginner in freelancing but I had been writing since I learned how to grip a pen in my hand. I have prepared for this all my life and I was finally reaping the fruits of my labor. Who was I to shy away from the blessings that were so generously being lavished upon me?

In fact, just a few hours ago, I bagged two very exciting contributor roles for organizations that I admire very deeply. I have several pitches in the pipeline as of now, which I absolutely cannot wait to bring to life and share with you guys. As far-fetched as this sounds, this is only the beginning for me. I am so grateful to everyone who has believed in me, read my work (or even a mere paragraph of it because I know how underappreciated the written word can be these days), and left encouraging comments. 

WIshing you nothing but love and light always, always, always,

Angel

[fyrapartnersearch]

OC M/M Search and OOC Buddies

Good days to all fellow tumblrs and a heartfelt “Ayo~,” from this friendly dweeb. Considering I’m searching for long-term friends to roleplay with, please come to me aiming to get to know eachother and communicate comfortably.  Let’s start off with a bit about me. 

Personal 

Timezone: CST

A lady named Mary, but feel free to call me Neko. Off (h)school early for the summer, due to homeschooling awesomenedge, meaning free time. I’ve been installed in the family business for about four years now, which will occasionally take up said time, likely on weekends. What else…

A current unhealthy obsession with broadway, i.e, Hamilton (plus Moana for the sake of Lin Manuel Miranda), Dear Evan Hansen, and the Heathers. 

Lover of korean dramas and anime; books and manga; podcasts, shit memes, and a select few games. (Also Marvel. I couldn’t escape that if I wanted to, thanks to my mother’s enthusiasm with Steve and Bucky’s gay well-being.) 

My household is home to 7 betta fish, and they're definitely not named after Marvel characters. Minus two Yuuri on Ice ones. Haha..Ha…

I’m 100% going to start out as a shy little peanut if any of you lovely folks contact me, but the more we talk and the less formally, I’ll become more comfortable. Warnings for my sailor’s mouth (aka, the amount of cussing I do OOC,) my horrible sarcasm, and occasionally dark sense of humor. ___________________________________________

Smut and 18+ 

I understand how in some cases smut can be relative to plot, and used to further develop a character or relationship, but I���m frankly uninterested in it and don’t want to participate, besides not being of age. Even if I were, I’m too shy of a person to be comfortable with it, and would be afraid a partner would try to dominate the storyline with it if I let them. Short answer: thank you, but no. 

Style

Third person, past and present tense mixed. Now, don’t run away before I finish saying this buuut, personally, I’m a sucker for literate writing and admit to being a complete Grammar Nazi. Fortunately, I’m only like that towards my own style and would never impose on another person or annoy them by constantly correcting them. I’ve been writing short stories since I was 8 and aiming to improve myself since; I think I’ve been roleplaying for about three years? Another forewarning: p u r p l e. p r o s e. Again, I don’t expect it of others, but I love it myself. My favorite things in the world are adjectives and commas. 

Activity / More on Posts

I’m not sure. (Trust me, I know that sounds vague.) My roleplay experience started on a chat room forum, where my partner was always online on the other side of the screen, and I constantly felt pressed for time, trying to rush out a decent sized reply in 5 or 10 minutes. After quitting that, I’ve been roleplaying with a dear friend. She lives an insanely busy life, only managing to squeeze in time here and there to work on a reply. It will take months for a single reply, not that I mind at all. Unfortunately this has gotten me used to being able to take my sweet time, able to take all the time I want to write using the high standards I set for my own replies, and I’m not sure what will happen when I’m set in the middle for the first time. 

Sometimes I’m just stuck with writer’s block or plain tired, but in these cases I’ll give fair warning. Please work with me here, I have no idea what I’m doing. :D However, I’m online constantly! So if I’m unable to reply for some reason, we can chat ooc. 

Pairings 

All that gay goodness, yes sir. ԾᴗԾ I’m only willing to write male characters, despite being female, and strongly prefer M/M only. I can do tops or bottoms, feminine or masculine personalities, or almost any fun traits you wanna throw at me. I might be persuaded to do M/F on the side. 

I strictly am looking for someone who can also play either tops or bottoms, especially with my current bottom-y cravings. The friend (I love her with all my heart I swear) I mentioned earlier only does bottoms, and I’m a li~ttle dom-tired. ( No fandoms. Only OC on OC.) 

Genres and Settings 

Anything I participate in must contain romance. It definitely doesn’t have to be a to be love at first sight, instant prince, type of deal. Slow builds are a wonderful thing, developing a character through a relationship is a wonderful thing, developing the relationship through actual stuff happening is a WONDERFUL THING. I’m up for any other genres you guys want to get into, but the roses and sparkles have got to be there, my dudes. I also go for fantasy, modern, historical, or original (created) settings. 

Faceclaims

All my characters are assigned a piece of artwork or anime character. Not really one for real people faceclaims, it feels like identity theft. Despite my love for description, I enjoy having a reference for my imagination to accurately place a scene, or to draw fanart of our roleplay from. It also means we’re both thinking of the same person, and just description might not do that. (It also means finding adorable pictures to show the other person and geeking out over them.) If you’re the type of person for just description, or have a strong image of a character and can’t find a picture to match, I’m happy to draw them. <3 

___________________________________________

I think that’s about it! I love roleplay prompts and ideas, because I adore a nice plot to give a direction to our characters. I also prefer creating characters together with my partner so that they match well, rather than separately making them and just sort of…putting them in a room with eachother. 

There are two prompts I’m into right now. Feel free to contact me about them. ^^;; Both have actual story plots I wrote up, which I’m happy to share if you’re interested. Otherwise, we can come up with some other stuff. 

One:

Involves a Little Red Riding Hood spin-off.  

Fantasized Victorian era. (My favorite.) 

The Wolf is a loner aristrocrat. Little Red is a poor thief. (My OC) 

Two: 

Involves a sleeping prince with the blood of an angel, who was cast into a different dimension for being rumored illegitimate. (My OC)

There’s a demon king, yay. For this one you mostly need the actual storyline, oops. 

When contacting me, tell me a little about yourself! Name, fun story, memes, anything. Not just a “hey, let’s rp.“ Remember, I aim to make friends! If you’ve come this far through my ramblings, you should include the word, "Ayo,” somewhere in your post. Let’s me know you care. C’: 

Tumblr: lunahwolf

Email: lunahwolf@gmail.com

Instagram: Nekos.Art

[tkuhnhackl]

1-10, 50-60 🌝🌝🌝

i love you (also I’m putting this under a read more so none of y’all have to suffer through me talking about myself if you don’t want to)

1: Who was the last person you held hands with?

My friend Katie; we were freezing our asses off at a bar despite my parkour skills to get us a table under a heat lamp and so we were cuddled up to keep warm, and then some jackass that a mutual friend had a crush on (the only reason he was even invited because the rest of us don’t like him) decided to make homophobic comments so we held hands for the rest of his night to piss him off.

2: Are you outgoing or shy?

Painfully shy if I don’t know someone. I don’t do social situations where I have to talk to a bunch of strangers, and I’ve had professors who seemed genuinely surprised to hear my voice (one guy literally said ‘oh, i didn’t know you talked’). But I’m pretty outgoing once I know someone.

3: Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My mum is coming to visit in February, so I’m really looking forward to that.

4: Are you easy to get along with?

I’d like to think so? I’m fairly laid back, fairly friendly, and grouchy as fuck but not rude, so while I’m certainly not everyone’s cup of tea (I’m a bit of a weirdo sometimes let’s be honest), I can usually superficially get along with most people. Although my dad jokes and tendency to discuss politics probably does not help me much.

5: If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I don’t have a crush on anyone right now, but I do trust my friends to take care of me because I try not to be friends with anyone who’d leave a drunk friend to fend for themselves.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Tall people with a strong sense of right and wrong, people who are comfortable in silence but also capable of letting loose every now and then (even without the help of alcohol), who are confident in themselves and compassionate towards others. Smart people, passionate people, people who don’t shy away from politics and social issues.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Hahahahahahahahaha no. I’ve enjoy being single too much and also grad school will always come before relationships so ain’t no one getting in the way of my thesis next semester. (the only thing I’ll be in a relationship with is the art history library, a microscope, and some military statues)

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Ben Davies bc the Spurs posted the new christmas video and i am living for all the content of my favorite welshman whose voice is somehow the most relaxing thing i’ve ever heard

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends on the person I’m talking to - I don’t think I could give the sex talk to a child but my best friends from high school and I literally were having a laugh at some strange sex toys in the middle of a mall food court this summer. 

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My mum, this afternoon when i was in the middle of a full breakdown.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Grey, with a pen stain, a pasta sauce stain, and a maple syrup stain because adulthood is like that sometimes.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, absolutely. As a kid I wanted to be Kobe Bryant (until I realized he was maybe not as good of a person as I thought) and as an adult, every once in a while, it would be nice to not be me for a bit and just live a stress free existence for a while.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I’m such an anxious person - about deadlines, papers, friendships, everything. I get myself easily worked up over small things and I hate that about myself. Sometimes it works in my favor like when I always turn in papers ahead of time, but it also affects my relationships with people because I second-guess everything.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

Probably Bare Minerals or Tarte bc my face rejects almost any other brand (also Bare Minerals has lipsticks that smell like chocolate and every time, I want to lick my lips even though I know it won’t taste like chocolate)

54. Favourite store?

I love whole foods bc I’m a grocery store nerd who thinks about food 24/7. Back home, everyone in their cheese department knew me and would give me lots of free samples; plus their frozen foods are amazing and they have wonderful pies and tarts (the bakery also knew me and would sell me empty tart shells so I didn’t have to make crust at home)

55. Favourite blog?

I mean, yours is definitely up there...also @motoleafs​ because she provides such wonderful gifs for Tottenham and England so I’m constantly being a creep and seeing what new content she’s posted

56. Favourite colour?

Any earth tones - I love soft greens and browns.

57. Favourite food?

All food tbh.....I love tacos, drunken noodles, dal makhani, cacio e pepe, my comfort foods have no geographic specificity or anything. I do have a soft spot for dairy though (there is an ever-growing collection of pictures of me eating cheese and chugging farm-fresh milk in the middle of Scottish streets)

58. Last thing you ate?

These bagel chip things that my aunt has in her house - they’re salty, bread-y goodness

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Bread with butter, salami, and cheese, along with a glass of milk

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I’ve won a few, mostly for writing (culminating with my thesis winning a departmental award in undergrad); my proudest one is my 3rd grade spelling bee because I beat the most popular kid in school who everyone thought was going to win (he spelled light wrong and ran off the stage crying.....he went on to be the QB of the football team and point guard of the basketball team and was kind of a dick to a lot of kids so sometimes I liked to tell that story to people just to break up the cult that formed around him.....as I write this, I realize that I should not be this petty about things that happened 15 years ago but here we are anyway)