#// bet you expected birb boy but i wanted to be funny-

[warhammer-fantasy-muses]

“   I really do hate thinking. ”

"THINKING IS INDEED OVER-RATED."

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

[hiyo-silver]

Dear Blue Birb, - Puzzle Pieces

Summary: Blue and Bill finally meet.

A/N: The ending is here!!

Chapters 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 + ao3

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose1122 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler @yooonbum

The next few days are lonely. No losers, no Blue, Bill hardly has anything left. He drives to and from school alone, going home just to dick around on his computer until it’s time to sleep. Time moves slow and he’s spending a lot of his life just zoning out. It’s like sitting at the bottom of a swimming pool and watching everyone else swim just fine, but you’re weighed down.

One day he’s walking to the diner to get something to eat, that and the fact that he needs some fresh air. He needed to get out of the house, it was starting to drive him a bit crazy. He keeps his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes trained on his sneakers as they slap against the pavement at an even rhythm.

He gets a bit stiffer as he passes by the Kaspbrak house, shrugging his head further into his hood to the mas the read hair that’s really only attributed to him and Beverly Marsh. It’s nearly the end of Hanukkah, St. Nic would have come for the young children a day or two ago, and the weather matches. He watches the fog escape his mouth as he breathes out, trying not to be too anxious. He deserves a second to relax after all that’s happened.

Eddie’s looks out the window at just the right time to spot his best friend on the sidewalk outside. He feels a softness wash over him. He really does feel bad that Bill was outed. He can’t imagine how he’s cope if it’d been him. He’s not often one to be impulsive, but maybe just this once he’ll let himself make a snap decision. He pulls his coat over himself and zips it up as he dashes down the stairs of his house and out to meet Bill where he’s walking. He knows he was insensitive, but he can only go so long without his childhood best friend, he needs to apologize.

Bill doesn’t acknowledge him nor say anything yet. Eddie jogs to keep up with him. The shorter boy doesn’t say anything yet either, fumbling for his inhaler before pushing a puff of the medicine into his mouth to free his constricted lungs. He gasps for air for a moment, his hot breaths showing up white fog against the cold air.

“Okay, Bill, I gotta be kinda fast. My mom has decided I’ve got a cold this week so she’ll be mad I’m out. I’m sorry for how I reacted and what I said to you. It wasn’t your fault and I never should have done that,” Eddie rushes out, trying to keep up with the strides of Bill’s long legs. It takes Bill a few moments to react, but when he does he looks to Eddie looking nearly as if he’s about to start crying.

“I bet you don’t know how much I was hoping you’d say something like that,” he says with a sigh of relief, stopping in his tracks. He lets his eyes meet Eddie’s. “It’s just been so hard,” he says in a small voice, just glad to be able to verbalize it to someone. He’s never been used to dealing with hardship on his own, he’s had the losers for years and this is one of the only times he’s had to be separated from them.

“I’m sorry this has all been going on, you really didn’t deserve that. Martin should suck a fat one, one that hasn’t been washed in weeks, not even circumcised,” Eddie starts rambling on, not knowing how else to talk to Bill after this long gap in their friendship. It’s never happened like this before. “To be fair. I did think something was up. I even said to Ben one day ‘ah Billy-boy must be in love, only a man in love acts that way,’” he says with a chuckle. “Who is it that you love so much, tell me about this ‘Blue Birb’.”

Bill smiles, chuckling slightly in awkwardness, there’s so much he could say about this boy. Nearly everything except for his name. “Well, he’s quite lovely. He’s kind and funny. And he’s so, so smart. Like all his jokes are about smart people things. We’ve been talking since his post, the one you actually told me about. Thank you for that, I suppose,” he rambles almost as bad as Eddie does, flushing red at the idea of finally being able to gush about the boy he likes so much.

“Have you met him? Like in real life?” Eddie asks, nudging Bill teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows up and down at the tall ginger. He’s almost as bad as Richie, basically asking about their sex life straight away. Eddie’s always been that friend. The one who will gossip with just the losers but keep his mouth zipped all of the rest of the time.

“Actually no. I don’t know who he is, I mean I know him as a person, but not his name or what he looks like or anything. Kinda wish I did, I want to be able to like, kiss him, and hug him and stuff,” he says in a small voice, sighing wistfully. He’s a hopeless romantic in his own sense, longing to meet him now. But he doesn’t know how, the email address has been deleted. Months of talking down the drain, he doesn’t know if he’ll ever get to talk to him again.

“I’m sorry about that, I hope you get to soon,” Eddie says, trying to meet Bill’s eyes but they’re on the ground again. He still likes Bill, but obviously Bill is deep into this, the thing he’s sparked with Blue. He deserves the happiness that has come with it. He won’t get in the way. He always thought he’d do anything to be with Bill, but now he’s realized really he just wants Bill to be happy.

“Me too,” Bill says, stopping on the sidewalk again. An idea springs into his head, having him turning around sharply, then looking to Eddie. “I just realized I have something at home to take care of, can we continue this conversation later?” he asks, his voice breathless with excitement. It’s only a simple idea, and it may not even work. But speaking with Eddie has given him the most motivation he’s had since Blue ended their contact.

Eddie nods, a little taken aback by his sudden change in tone. “Yeah, yeah definitely. Text me when you can, I should be heading back home now too, don’t want my mom to be too pissy,” he says, shoving his hands up into his warm sleeves and starting off to his home again. He wracks his brain for what could have caused the change, what may have been said to trigger it.

He gets home as fast as he can, his heart feeling as if it’s beating up into his throat. It’s not from fear necessarily. Only adrenaline. His body knows that what he’s about to do is impulsive. But heck, impulsive is Bill Denbrough’s middle name. He pulls out his laptop as ceremoniously as Martin had retrieved his for his callout, but this post Bill is to type up is much different to that. iIt’s even different to how Martin asked Beverly out, though it’s similar in the public nature.

He pulls up the gossip site. It doesn’t feel right in his heart to have to post it here, but he doesn’t know how else to establish what he wants to with this. He starts typing.

Dear Blue Birb,

You’ve seemingly disappeared, and I miss you. I know our classmates just had a problem with asking someone out publicly, but I hope this is different. You once said that life is chaotic when you’re in the closet, all the opportunities to be outed or to reveal yourself. It’s scary, I get it.

It’s almost like living life on a ferris wheel. Up and down over and over, and sometimes you get stuck. In the tone of that, the carnival is coming to town on the opening night of the school musical. I’ll be there, on the ferris wheel. If you want to join me, ride’s on me.

Lovingly yours,

Big Brother

He sighs in relief after he gets it all typed up, changing the wording at least three times before he posts. It’s a gamble, the boy he’s trying to contact may not even see it. But it’ll be fully worth it just in the case of it working. Of him finally being united with him after these few months of messages back and forth.

He’s nearly jumping and shaking with anticipation for the days leading up to the carnival. Not only because of the show opening and stage fright, but because the idea of finally meeting Blue. Maybe it was a bad choice of days, but he hopes his plan and his actions will reward him.

The day finally comes. His costume is pretty simple, just a black suit and tie, but he sweats under the spotlights of the stage. Out of heat and also out of nervousness. He speaks his lines in a smooth voice, thankfully stutterless. Beverly steals the show as expected, her solo in the final song leaving an echoed note ringing beautifully though the auditorium. A standing ovation follows.

As soon as they finish their bows, Bill dashes backstage to pull on his jeans and his flannel over his t-shirt, running his hands through his hair in front of the mirror. He still has thick theatre makeup on his face but he elects to ignore it. They should be expecting an actor to show up with some evidence of acting after all. The cakey makeup could make a funny story.

He makes eye contact with Eddie as he leaves the theatre, waving enthusiastically. He’s in good spirits, better than he has been in days. The show just ended, and he gets to ride the ferris wheel, and best of all, he might finally see Blue in the flesh.

He pays for the ride tickets, spending about all the money he has, he didn’t specify a time for Blue to come, just after the show. And he won’t take any chances in having to stop too early. It’s common knowledge now to the entire school what Bill is waiting for, and there are already people around the ferris wheel but nobody on it, leaving it for Bill to do his honor in waiting, some people even have their phones out to film. Martin’s drama is long forgotten and the outing is no longer the news, now it’s all about Bill. The brave one who had the courage to leave himself the possibility of complete humiliation for the sake of love.

He steps onto the platform to the man who runs the ride, who looks sincerely perplexed about the plethora of teens at the ride usually mostly frequented by children. Bill holds out the entire roll of tickets to the man, who scratches his beard in his confusion.

“As many rounds as this will get me,” he says with a smooth grin. He’s probably never been this excited in his life. He’s finally getting his own love story, the kind he would have seen on Disney channel as a kid. It’s perfect. The sky is darkening and the crowd is growing as quickly as his smile. Goosebumps cover his arms as he gets into the seat, it rocks back and forth with his weight. This is it.

The ride makes it’s first circle. Classmates cheer and take pictures and videos. Finally a wholesome story for their social media. Two rounds done and no Blue yet. Three and the peers start to quiet down, the time taking some of the excitement from them, teens so impatient that they get their main entertainment from seven second videos played in succession.

It keeps turning and turning, slowly getting more lonely and pathetic up there. It’s a while before his tickets run out, but they do. Everyone is surprised when Martin runs up to the platform. “I’m Blue, it’s me!” he shouts dramatically.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Bill sighs, this is embarrassing. Martin has been blackmailing him for about forever, even if he was Blue he wouldn’t be with him. It all makes sense when he speaks again.

“I am, but this is just sad, take my tickets, good luck,” the boy says, obviously finally feeling the guilt of what he did. He presses the bundle against the man running the ride’s chest without looking before walking away, beating his hand against his chest. “We believe in you Billy!”

Bill starts going up in another round of the ferris wheel’s circle. Everyone stands silently until a dark haired boy parts his way through the crowd. He stands before the seat Bill is in when the ride comes to a stand still. “Can I sit here?” Stan asks, his hands buried deep in his pockets.

“I’m waiting for someone,” Bill says softly, flabbergasted. He can hardly look into Stan’s deep brown eyes.

“I know,” Stan says, a small half smile on his lips. He sits in the cart right next to Bill. “Are you disappointed it’s me?” he asks, scared because Bill hasn’t said anything yet, only stared on in surprise.

“No, not at all,” Bill says, his eyes still looking into Stan’s. “You deserve a great love story too,” he says, letting his hand find Stan’s jaw, putting his lips against his. It’s nothing like he’s ever felt before. It feels right. Like two puzzle pieces have found their home.