#// anyway me realizing this is a big trauma point for Celeste

[paradisegrave]

I had to think about WHY Celeste shows enough compassion towards Terapagos, the Loyal Three, and Chien - Pao to either keep them around or release them in the case of the Loyal Three when she decided to trap the Miraidon that killed Professor Turo and nearly killed her and her friends in box hell forever and I feel like it comes down to thisㅤ—ㅤshe doesn't view the Paradox Pokémon as actual Pokémon.

As a former Area Zero Expedition researcher, she's studied just how terrifying these things can be and how easily they can slaughter human beings. Even if something like that can be said about a lot of other Pokémon, she's actually SEEN them kill. It doesn't help that the research team also came to the conclusion that many of the Paradox Pokemon were originally built to be weapons like Iron Treads and Iron Crown, could have been extraterrestrial spies like Iron Moth ( though she doesn't think that theory is likelyㅤ—ㅤshe hopes ), or worse yet, possess a frightening malice towards humans like Iron Jugulis and Iron Valiant. She honestly wishes she could get rid of every single one of them and make sure that terrifying future never arrives but she knows that's impossible due to the sheer amount that escaped. The only exception to this is her own Miraidon for obvious reasons.

Meanwhile, even though Terapagos DID try to kill Kieran, it was just a scared Pokémon. Even if the Loyal Three DID kill Ogerpon's friend, they were under the control of Pecharunt. And even if the Ruinous Quartet nearly felled an entire kingdom, they're also just Pokemon ( even though she knows it was a grave mistake to free Chien - Pao and knows better to NOT free the rest of them ).

I also feel like her attitude would be slightly more sympathetic towards the Paradox Pokémon if she were a Pokemon Scarlet protagonist under Professor Sada and she was dealing with the PAST Paradoxes that aren't machines. But that's not the timeline she wound up in.

[nikkyshows]

Suit Coloration

DISCLAIMER: reposted here to the new blog

Day two of @violetvineyardnetwork 's pride week. Orange/Healing. (tan/beige/gold is sort of orange, right? Close enough?)

Here’s a mini-intro to a character we’ll see a lot of. She’s one of the first two characters I made for this world (her and the other were made basically at the same time), so I hope you like her! Or, what you see of her here. You’ll get a proper look at her later.

731 words with a warnings for a vague mention of child labor, blood descriptions, brief trauma, panic/hyperventilating (note that all except the blood description is in just one sentence each. they’re not major themes, but i figured I’d be safe by putting them up in case it could trigger anyone. netter safe than sorry.

*****

They make it white and tan.

She asks for red — it makes sense, since she was going to be with the injured, in the blood. It wouldn’t stain so much if it was red. Or black, so it wouldn’t be altered by the sli

But no. They give her her suit and it’s white and gold and beige. It’s nice, and it fits, but it’s begging to get stained. If she gets so much as a nosebleed, it’ll need to get replaced. It seems impractical, but they told her that she needs to appear pure, innocent, good.

Red and black are villain’s colors, they’d said, and you aren’t a villain.

Celeste sighs, grips it in her fists, and shakes her head, mute. She could raise a fuss, but the smoother her training goes, the sooner she’d be able to help people.

And she knows she isn’t in any position to make demands. It’s not like it matters too much, anyways, she’s not the one who would spend money replacing her suit or trying to wash it. It was an inconvenience, but not one she would have to bear. Maybe they’d change their mind after paying for a couple suits.

She realizes the inconvenience to her the first time she goes out and comes back with a red suit. The blood soaks through the thin material easily, smudging on the beige leather and ruining the white and gold suit underneath.

After she takes it off, the feeling doesn’t go away. It’s tight around her legs and she nearly faints in the shower (too hot and burning) from hyperventilating.

But she goes again when she’s asked, more blood on her fingers and dripping off her elbows, and thinks that she’ll never be rid of the feeling.

(She’s not wrong, years later, when she’s semi-normal and living alone, out of her own shadow, she’ll still wash her hands under too hot water trying to erase the memory of a stranger’s blood dripping off her hands from her mind).

Over time, she finds the beauty in the suit they made. It’s certainly well put together, sections of beige leather and tan boots covering the white bodysuit underneath, thick spandex that retains liquid like nothing else. It’s pretty, and she learns to like it, to enjoy the tight, huggy feeling against her skin.

She never grows into her mask, a gold piece too glimmering to make her feel safe as she waits for the battle to reach a slowing point, where she can dart in to help her people, or to run around trying to save every unlucky civilian who happened to be there when a villain decided to bring chaos and fight their way out of it (while trying not to catch their attention so they didn’t turn their attacks on her because she wasn’t combat trained and had no ability that would help in that situation).

Years later, she’ll still have wished they made it red and black. But they had to make it white and beige, the opposite. To uphold their image of the fifteen year old they were letting into the midst of battle, untrained, illegal (in a way. she was a minor doing an adult’s job without parental consent, but the people who made the rules are the ones who invited her in), unprepared, glorified. Heroised.

They name her Incandescence. Light as a result of temperature. Passion. They name her ‘light’ and dress her in the colors to match, so the people may put her on a pedestal and rest easy knowing there is a Hero out there to save them, not just to stop the villains and engage in their brutal battles. She is peaceful and pliant and half of the things the media says about her.

She likes the name they gave her, despite the mouthful it is. It sounds soft, like a nightlight, and she hopes that’s all she’ll have to be one day, a last resort safety measure. For emergencies, or just to soothe the frightened. She hopes, but knows she won’t be. The people — they’ll never let her fade from the front page headlines.

Now, they call her a Hero. A savior. Miracle incarnate. Deity-touched, heavenly blessed. Names that make her sound good and lucky. Names that reflect the power randomness decided to bestow on her and not her. Not really.

None of the names they give her masked self feels like anything she’s earned.

*****

Tags: @citrusysumo

Welp. There that is. Largely unproofread so forgive any errors. This is the second attempt at writing Celeste for the prompt — something short but kinda punchy. I think this works well. 

After the last prompt (probably up tomorrow?), I’ll think of doing wip pages and character intros. If anyone knows how to do those or how I should (make a big one for each of my world than smaller ones for the mini-series within?? I have no idea how to do this), please let me know. It’ll be greatly appreciated.

[vitaevictoria]

Every Book I Read in 2018: Part 1 https://ift.tt/2QsaJ9y

I haven't posted in 3 months but who cares! (I wrote this intro back when I hadn't posted in 3 months, but I've posted twice since working on this post! Horray for improvement!) Maybe I should post about my 4.5 month backpacking trip around Europe where I went to some cool ass countries and met some really bombass people and had a great time. But why talk about any of that on my travel blog when I just tell you about every book I read and give you my unwarranted opinions about them? I'll tell you where I was when I was reading them to keeping things ~spicy~ and ~travel related~. And no there are no affiliate links because I'm too lazy for that and I don't care anymore anyways. Back when my original reading goal was 50 books, I was just going to make this one long post. But since I've been home I've been reading a shitton (to give you a general idea of how much a "shitton" is: I read 20 books in a little over a month of being home) and right now I'm at 61 books and that's just TOO MUCH for anyone to read. So here are the first 35 books I read in 2018, and Part 2 will follow in the coming weeks. Also, be my friend on Goodreads! 1. Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed Read on my mom's couch after my wisdom teeth removal surgery. High on opioids and pissed off at the world because my FACE HURT. This book made me cry so hard and I highlighted so many quotes. I'd like to attribute the crying to the drugs and the mouth pain but honestly, it's probably because I'm a little bitch baby that cries easily at everything. 2. How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley Also read on my mom's couch. Not impressive. Move along. 3. Leia: Princess of Alderaan by Claudia Gray Since I was doing all this reading on my mom's couch I felt like a 9-year-old again and decided to regress into my Star Wars phase. Except now I'm older and more Star Wars exists so there are more stories to read! How fun! They have Star Wars YA now! This was my second Claudia Gray book and it was enjoyable. 4. What Happened by Hillary Rodham Clinton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to in my car over winter break. I listened to most of this at the end of 2017 but it is VERY LONG and I only listened to it while in the car (because I'm an old lady that borrows audiobook CDs from the library) so I finished it in 2018. All you need to know is that I cried at many parts while listening to this book, dreaming of what we could have had. 5. Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman Read in my college dorm, winter. I read this because I saw the movie and it rocked my world. I read the book so slowly because every sentence is beautiful and I didn't want it to end because I knew I'd never be able to read this book for the first time ever again. 6. Everything Everything by Nicole Yoon Borrow from my friend Shannon, god bless her. I don't remember much about this book so that tells you all you need to know. 7. Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert Mainly read on my couch in my dorm. SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! The institution of marriage is fascinating and scary. 8. A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams Read for my Southern American Literature course. Very gay and southern. Loved it. 9. All the Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister Read in my bed. Committed put me in a very feministy-nonfiction mood. It dragged at points but had so many good facts you should definitely read it. 10. Where'd You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple Read on the beach in Grenada (the island in the Carribean, not Spain) because I'm fancy sometimes. Very good and very smart, I'd like to read more like this. 11. Slouching Towards Bethlehem by Joan Didion Started to read in Grenada, finished in Virginia. I liked it but Didion is too smart for me. 12. Brokeback Mountain by Annie Proulx Read in bed at home after graduation. I cried! Shocker! 13. William Shakespeare: The World as Stage by Bill Bryson [AUDIOBOOK] Mainly listened to while cleaning my room. I learned lots of things but can't remember any of it. 14. Dress Codes for Small Towns by Courtney C. Stevens Read in my room (don't worry soon I will be traveling and my reading locations with be a lot more fun). It's about teens in youth group in a small southern town and there's stuff about sexuality and growing up and Christianity and I LOVED it. 15. The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie Read in one day on the porch of my grandparent's river house. It was good and important but should be read in middle school or early high school. 16. Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Also read in one day on the porch of my grandparent's river house. Would be a good gift to a teenager or a new mom (if you know she's into that kind of stuff, of course). 17. The Idiot by Elif Batuman Started reading in Grenada, read more in my dorm room, finished in my room after I moved back home. It took me so long to read because I didn't want it to end! It's one of those books that doesn't have an OBVIOUS point but I loved it. I want more books about smart girls traveling and making mistakes and not really learning from them. 18. Love Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to in my room as I cleaned everything out in preparation for my Europe trip. Didn't enjoy much about this audiobook, but I like how honest she is. And man, she is honest. 19. A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to driving up and down I-95 to go to my in-class portion of my TEFL course. I've decided that I'm never going to walk the whole of the AT (Appalachian Trail) so I might as well listen to the accounts of people that tried. Bill Bryson is easy to listen to and knows how to weave a story, except there was this whole portion where he talked smack about a solo female hiker for no reason. She has more balls than you do, Bill. 20. Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng [AUDIOBOOK] Finally, my books and I are in Europe! Listened to while cleaning the kitchen of the hostel I worked at in Slovakia. For some reason, I thought this would be a fun YA book with a dash of murder, but it's way more serious than that. A good look at race and family dynamics. 21. Carol (Price of Salt) by Patricia Highsmith [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to while cleaning the kitchen and just sitting in my room, taking a break from socializing. It's read by the same narrator as Everything I Never Told You and I liked her voice. A bit slow for an audiobook but the writing is beautiful. 22. Hunger: A Memoir of My Body by Roxane Gay [AUDIOBOOK] Listening while trying to hold my bladder on really bumpy minivan rides in Moldova. Gay narrates this herself and it is very good and important and everyone should read it. 23. The Garden Party and Other Stories by Katherine Mansfield Read in Romania. As far as "classics" go Mansfield is a bit easier to read, although I have to be in a particular mood for her. Which is why it took me so long to read such a slim book! Passed it on to an English guy from Bradford. 24. An Appeal to the World: The Way to Peace in a Time of Division by Dalai Lama XIV Read on a park bench in Varna, Bulgaria. I've never read the Dalai Lama before but man is he quotable. 25.  Living History by Hillary Rodham Clinton [AUDIOBOOK] Listened to while walking around Bulgarian towns. This was the perfect book to read since Clinton was the First Lady while the Clinton Administration was involved with eastern Europe and the former Yugoslavia region, which happened to be where I was traveling. 26. Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason by Helen Fielding Bought from a secondhand bookshop in Varna, run by a kind and scatterbrained American lady. I love the Bridget Jones series so much and if I ever get a PhD in Literature I can easily write a whole paper on how genius Bridget Jones is. You may think it's a fun bit of Pride & Prejudice fluff, but think a lil bit harder. 27. Origin by Dan Brown Read in Veliko Tarnovo, Bulgaria. A quick read. Dan Brown is alright. 28. Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi Started in Plovdiv, finished by the time I reached Sofia. The fun thing about hostel bookshelves is that all of the books that were big last year trickle their way into circulation. I loved this one so much. I love a well-done generational story. This one really helps you realize how trauma can be passed down from generation to generation. 29. Erotic Stories for Punjabi Widows by Balli Kaur Jaswal [AUDIOBOOK]

Listened to while walking around Plovdiv, Bulgaria. I 100% recommend that you only listen to this as an audiobook. The voice actor does such a great job and this is the first fiction audiobook that I was actually excited to listen to every day.

30. The Roanoke Girls by Amy Engel Found on a bus in Scotland, read in London. It was very twisted and not well written but it was a quick read. Could've been great if written by someone else. 31. The Vegetarian by Han Kang Read in Marusici, Croatia. Very literary and probably too smart for me. It was interesting but I couldn't figure out the purpose of it all. 32. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid Picked up in Trebinje, Bosnia, I think. Honestly can't remember where I was when I read this. I can see why lots of people like this book but I really do not like Hamid's writing style. 33. The Wrong Knickers: A Decade of Chaos by Byrony Gordon Read on the bus in Albania. A fun book title for people to see you reading in public! I enjoy women writing about their lives, no matter how privileged and whiny their life can be, but ugh. This one could've been good but ends with a dude saving her at the end. Gag me with a spoon. 34. Rivers of London by Ben Aaronovitch Read in Tirana, Albania. Really loved this one! Aaronovitch has an interesting voice and there's a lot of actual history in this book. My only problem is that his female characters are really flat and only seen as a pair of tits to the main character. I'll see if this improves in his later books. 35. Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli Read in Himare, Albania. I didn't read the book Simon vs. the Homospaien Agenda but I saw the movie Love, Simon and loved it and this was the only book on the hostel shelf in English so I gave it a whirl. It was GREAT! The characters aren't perfect and they make mistakes and it's just a fun YA read! And there you have it! Stay tuned for Part 2 to find out what books I ended by 4.5 month backpacking trip with and see what I've read since I've been home. Have a good day, and go read a book!