#// and i;d also like to thank you all for your continued patronage encouraging me to serve you better

[m0e-ru]

manager manager can you draw naoto about to cross a road

happy 1 year to naoto about to cross a road 👍

[clairekatswritingcorner]

Glimpse of You

Word Count: 1,316

Summary: D has some misgivings following the decision she made to cut a certain someone out of her life for good. But their presence still looms over her like an ominous cloud, and Rhys is the only one that can help stifle the influence of her chaotic concerns.

*Author’s Note*: I have a small backlog of comms I’ve been hoarding for no particular reason other than I just haven’t gotten around to posting them. But now I am! This is another one for my good friend @robotarmjokes of the best selfship otp ever, and I can seriously never thank her enough for her patronage! Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy!

If you enjoyed reading this piece, please consider leaving a tip or commissioning me!

 The events of the past few days kept whirling around her mind like a hurricane. Understanding and following the course of that final, perilous decision with Rhys’s help, pushing herself to her emotional limit as she struggled to make what she’d been told time and time again was the right choice. She still wasn’t convinced it was, no matter how many times she was fed the opposite, no matter how much evidence she was presented that supported such a claim. How could she possibly come to that conclusion after all she’d been through? After all she’d been told and shown that indicated otherwise, thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed her and dominated her psyche without letting up?

Was this what it had felt like for Rhys to have Jack stuck in his head, instructing him and advising him and encouraging him? Although she’d never experienced the exact same circumstances, she figured they were similar enough that she could reasonably compare their situations to a certain degree. That was one of the things she appreciated most about Rhys, the fact that he could identify with her perspective in a way no one else she was acquainted with could. It hurt her, of course, that the man she loved had had to suffer in any way akin to the way she had, but there was little she could do about it—that either of them could do about altering the past. Their best option was to continue moving forward as steadily and confidently as they could, and as long as they had each other, there was still a chance that they would succeed.

“D, are you feeling alright?” His worried inquiry startled her. D almost dropped the tool she’d been using to tinker with his cybernetic arm, keeping her eyes focused on her work. “You’ve been kind of distant lately…does it have anything to do with—”

“I’m fine,” the broker replied curtly, getting back to the tweaking she’d been doing on some of the hardware’s wiring. “It’s nothing you need to worry about. I don’t want to be any trouble.”

Rhys sighed, regarding her with eyes that shined with sympathy and unconditional affection. He placed his human hand over the one of hers that was currently hard at work. “I don’t want you to keep things from me, even if you think they’ll trouble me. They won’t. You never trouble me, babe, so please…don’t shut me out. You’ve come so far in opening up to me, sharing things with me that I know have been painful and difficult to admit—even to yourself. I don’t want to push you to do more than you’re ready for, either, but…if something’s bothering you, I’d at least like to know if there actually is or not. You can just confirm my suspicion for me, that’s it, unless you’re uncomfortable going further. But the only way you’re going to be able to overcome most of this stuff is if you start facing it head on instead of trying to bottle it up, or sweep it away like it didn’t happen.”

“Don’t you think I already know all that?” the broker huffed in a gravelly tone, her soft, timid eyes starting to turn misty. “I’m doing my best, but…I know it’s still not enough. I know I should be over most of this by now, that I should just be able to let it go—”

“Sweetheart, I’m not blaming you.” That was almost enough to send her straight into a fit of sobbing. He raised his hand to her face, cradling her cheek and guiding her gaze until she reluctantly met his own. One gentle brown eye and one that glowed honey gold—she never got tired of seeing them; on the contrary, she kind of wished she had more time to just sit and admire them, to admire all of him. “If it ever sounds like I am, that’s not my intent. I never want to blame you, and I never want you to feel like this stuff is your fault. Because it’s not. And I know that’s hard for you to believe, so I’ll just keep telling you that it’s the truth, and eventually it’s bound to rub off on you. At least, I’m pretty sure I’ve heard that somewhere before.”

“But what if that’s not true? Not for me…what if I’m never able to shake this? What if these people, these memories keep their claws in me forever?” she disputed, a stray tear or two escaping her eyes. “Even after all the help you’ve given me. It’s like I’m throwing your kindness back in your face by not being able to deal with this. It’s like I’m taking all you’ve done for me and just—”

“Stop,” Rhys’s voice was compassionate yet firm. Moving closer, he pulled her into a kiss that made her want to melt against him. She almost always felt that way when it came to this handsome man and his overwhelming gestures, his displays of love that made her wonder if she was really still living in reality at all. Everything seemed too good to be true, even with the demons that refused her any respite from their presence, from the constant and unpleasant influence that bled into almost every aspect of her life. “No more negativity, I can’t stand hearing you beat yourself up this way. You deserve so much better than that, from yourself and everyone else. And don’t worry about me or what I think, because the truth is you are never and have never been a burden to me. You’re not a nuisance, D, you’re a blessing. I’ll keep doing whatever it takes, whatever I can to prove that to you.”

Dropping the tool she’d been gripping tighter and tighter as his words continued to flow, the broker couldn’t help burying herself in her boss’s arms. It probably would have been stranger, and borderline inappropriate, if they weren’t an official couple. Neither of them wanted it to look like she was trying to get some kind of special treatment. But she never expected anything like that and had never fathomed that one day she’d find herself taking solace in his embrace like this. Rhys made her vulnerable, but he also made her feel loved, and she was only able to let her guard down with him because she knew he was the one person who could keep her safe; who would. But was he really powerful enough to protect her from the past that kept coming back to haunt her?

“What if this stuff isn’t just in my head anymore? What if these people, especially that guy, come back in person? What if they come to punish me, to find me and try to drag me back into that life? What if they come looking for revenge, or even to do something as horrible as trying to hurt you? You heard those voice logs…they know who you are. I can’t…I can’t s—stand the idea of…”

She couldn’t stave off her quiet tears any longer, and Rhys rubbed her back and brushed his lips across her forehead. He kissed away a few of her tears while he was at it before pulling her closer, letting her hide her face in his shoulder. “They aren’t going to hurt me, or you, ever again. I won’t let it happen, and I certainly have the means and position to keep my word. You don’t have to be afraid of them anymore, babe. They may have had power over you in the past, but that was a long, long time ago. Now you’ve got me, and so many others, and we’re all going to stay with you even in the future. You can rest easy knowing we’re here, I’m here, and I’ll never let them get so much as a glimpse of you ever again.”