#// and because Wheeljack really is all over valentines day

[suckmybearings]

Valentine's Day is around the corner and there is an obnoxiously romantic, pixie-winged Wrecker ready to be unleashed on his friends and foes. LIKE [ 🩵 ] THIS POST if you'd like a handful of anonymous tasks given to your muse to be completed on Valentine's Day. (The tasks can be interpreted as platonic or romantic!)

"Got an entire crate of love bombs to give out."

[mk-wizard]

Transformers Excerpts: "You were divorced?!"

This fic idea was heavily inspired and motivated by Hollywood's obsession with breaking up every single iconic couple because they thing keeping heroes miserable makes them interesting (which phooey). I wanted to make a little short story on how an iconic couple tried being divorced and failed that miserably. I think you already know which it's going to be...

*In the Autobot base, the Maltos, Terrans and Autobots and reformed Decepticons...*

Optimus: *is holding Elita-One's hand and they both look very happy* Everyone, we have an announcement to make. A happy anouncement. I know this is not popular opinion or the popular route, but we decided to stop lying to ourselves, stop denying our feelings and stop living a life we don't want. Hotrod:.... Huh? Elita-One: Son, your father and I have decided to go back on our divorce *they hold each other* We have decided to remarry and once again be husband and wife.

*Everyone is in shock and murmuring...*

Optimus: *his smile fades* Look. I get it. Reconciliation is not popular on Earth, but Elita-One and I really do love each other and our time apart was agnony. Bumblebee:... *shrugs* What time apart? Optimus: Excuse me? Wheeljack: Uh, don't take this the wrong way, Optimus, but... all this time, Elita-One and you were DIVORCED?!! Elita-One: You couldn't tell? Alex: Uh, no. We really couldn't. In fact... I'm no marriage expert or anything, but uh... how do I put this politely? Megatron: You and Elita-One are TERRIBLE at being divorced. Not a single one of your actions, interactions or anything hinted at you two being platonic let alone exes. Optimus: What do you mean? We never hid it! Look at our hands! We have no rings! Dotty: Honey, Alex and I are happy married and we don't wear our rings *they show their hands* We don't because they get in the way of our work. Lots of happily married couples don't wear their rings. Elita-One: Alright, but... We were DEFINITELY platonic. Arcee: Um... You're really not. You're always checking each other out, always spot checking yourself when you know Optimus is coming and every time Optimus bends over, you can't take your eyes off his aft, Elita *she turns beet red* Jawbreaker: Come to think of it... when Elita-One's around, you tend to bend over A LOT, Optimus. Optimus: I do not! Besides, we didn't anything beyond that! We never let our emotions get the best of us! Cyclonus:... That time Shockwave grazed Elita's arm during a fight from a shot, you almost KILLED him. With your bare hands. And Grimlock could not pry you off. I had to sedate you. Elita-One: S-Shockwave had it coming for a lot of reasons! Besides, we tried moving on! We even made dating profiles on Cybr! Ratchet:... The kind of guy you described wanting was Optimus so far down to the finest detail that the ONLY mech you match with to this day is Optimus. And vice versa. Optimus: Sigh, alright. Maybe our feelings became more aware to everyone else than they were to ourselves, but we never hid that we were divorced. Grimlock:... Actually, none of us knew you were divorced this whole time until today. Elita-One: Ok, THAT is a lie. Hotrod, you knew that your father and I were divorced. You live with us! Hotrod: Mom, you never told me this whole and uh... That's just it. We all still live together. And you still make breakfast every Saturday, you keep the goodie jar full for dad, dad keeps the vases full of flowers for you, you still exchanges birthday gifts, Earthpsark Day Gifts AND Valentine's Day gifts, you get random gifts for each other- Optimus: Hotrod, that just means we're civil and friendly! Hotrod: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand... *has his finger raised* You both still share a berthchamber. Optimus: HOTROD!! *is really red*.................. Goodness, we WERE bad at being divorced. Dotty: You know... that's not a bad thing, Optimus. Thrash: And... it's not like you guys did anything you regret during your divorce like waste your time with rebounds, costly moving out or anything like that. Megatron: My question is, why did you two fools divorce at all if it's so clear you still loved each other so much in spite of being astronomically oblivious to it? Elita-One: We thought that... we had to. Optimus and I had thought one another died and accepted that for years. When we realized we were both still alive and met each other all over again... It was so shocking that we didn't know what to do. We thought too much time had passed for us to pick up where we left off and... I know felt ashamed for believing Optimus had died. Optimus: *puts a hand on her shoulder* I felt the same way... Elita, since you came back into my life, my time with you has been BETTER than ever. I think... I think I love you MORE than I did before! You've become so much more precious to me! I thought you were DEAD, but you're not. I never want to lose you again. Not any way. Elita-One: *has tears in her eyes* I feel the same way, Optimus *they kiss and everyone applauds* Dotty: So only one thing to do now... Time to make wedding plans, baby!