#// MATCHING THEY'RE MATCHING EEEE

[cagcd]

THEY'RE SO ------ @blxdc

[polkadotplayhouse]

patpatpatpat... duz th book yu readin hav a audio book somwere? or a vidyo uv sumwun readin it??? thas kinda like a storybook... wud tha hewp??

:0! hai!! umm yeah, it probably does, but I gotta take notes on it, and that's what's bothering me :3 I'm gonna get it done of course! but I will NOT be happy about it >:P heehee! at least I've got my stuffies n my sippy n sunset here to sit with me until I finish!!!

[petrii-dish]

More Mira Pokémon! (starring guest Isabeau)

And I actually have my essay on why i chose each Pokémon this time. It's under the cut with some closeups. eeee

Okay! Essay time!! Pokédex entries are in red! Here I go!!

Mira's starter is her Ampharos! It spends most of the game as a Flaaffy, evolving into Ampharos when Mira beats the King (and mega-evolving when she beats him in Act 5) 

  Every single Pokédex entry for Ampharos highlights it acting "as a beacon for lost people" (Gold). This mirrors Mira's (ha) role as the Change God's 'chosen', the very existence of which serves to give hope to the people of Vaugarde that they are actually going to be saved from the King. 

Mira understands the need for a (fake) chosen, but can't really accept herself as being worthy of the role. Because of this, her Flaaffy doesn't evolve into Ampharos until she confronts and defeats the King as her role demands of her, in spite of her own feelings on it. 

Also, Dormont has sheep!! And Mareep and Flaaffy match Mira's silhouette (clouds...!) 

Eevee (Sylveon!!) is a Pokémon that I see Mira receiving when she enters the House of Change. I had a lot of ideas about what Pokémon might live in and around the House, or might be seen as symbols of Change, and Eevee is one that I think fits pretty well! (also Castform, Ditto and Vivillion! Maybe Togepi as well?) 

A lot of Sylveon's Pokédex entries balance it between being a soothing ("It sends a soothing aura from its ribbonlike feelers[…]" (X, Omega Ruby)) and empathetic (?) ("[…] this touch enables it to read its Trainer's feelings" (Ultra Moon)) Pokémon, while also being a pretty merciless and efficient attacker ("[…] its piercing moves aim straight for its opponents' weak spots." (Violet)). I think this mirrors Mira's (hehe) in-battle skill set pretty well, as well as the dichotomy (?) (big word? am I using that right?) between being both scissors and paper types.  

(Sylveon also uses it's ribbons to use piercing moves!! It's both scissors and paper! To me!) And. It has little bows on it.) 

Other Pokédex entries talk about "Sylveon vanquishing a dreadful dragon Pokémon" (Shield) "that are many times larger than itself" (Ultra Sun). And I don't know about you. But this reminds me of the King. For (Primal) Dialga reasons, but also because he's pretty dreadful tbh. 

Chingling is here because! Ding-ding! 

I don't really have many supporting Pokédex entries for Chingling. Just look at the little guy. Besides Mira liking things that go ding-ding when she walks ("Each time it hops, it makes a ringing sound[…]" (Pearl)), Chingling's rope also visually matches her own rope / belt.  

I wanted some of Mira's Pokémon to non-fully evolved. Non-fully evolved Pokémon aren’t necessarily young versions of their evolved counterparts, they're fully realised Pokémon with their own personalities and behaviours. Just because there is a capacity for change doesn't mean they need to! And well. The same applies to Mira, of course. 

Escavalier isn't here because I didn't want to draw it again (complicated...). But it's also on the team! Honestly, I added Escavalier because Mira's team so far was too cutesy and I wanted her to pack some real heat. Escavalier's her rapier! She needs a cool sword (lance)!! And no other weapon-like or wielding Pokémon fit the job description. Or had French names.  

(Escavalier's names are all a combination of escargot and cavalier! Mira's surname is literally Chevalier??) 

As a Pokémon, Escavalier isn't too notable for anything other than (being a pain to draw) how it evolved- by stealing Shelmet's hat. Originally I thought that Escavalier would start as a Karrablast that would evolve when the House was attacked by the King, which would need Mira to prepare to defeat him. But. He doesn’t have a Shelmet or an Accelgor. 

But! Escavalier is very brave! And Mira does so many brave things while unmedicated?? And, and, like Sylveon, it has an equal focus on defence and offense. ...Honestly, Escavalier is probably the weakest match for Mira on this team but I'm not going to change my mind. It's my Mira Pokémon team interpretation and I get to drive.

Ponyta's Pokédex entries all talk about how it starts out pretty weak ("Ponyta is very weak at birth. It can barely stand up.[…]" (Ruby / Sapphire)) but quickly grows stronger as it runs about- either with other Ponyta ("[…] As it races around with others of its kind, […]" (Sword)) or after its parent (read: mentor figure. read: euphrasie) ("[…] This Pokémon becomes stronger by stumbling and falling to keep up with its parent" (Ruby / Sapphire)).   

Mira's pre-game journey gives her the strength and allies she needs to confront the King, even as she compares herself to better options that don't exist. She kind of fails to see that she's become "a world-class jumper" saviour (Crystal).  

I chose the Galar Ponyta over the Kanto variant as it's a healer like Mira! ("It's small horn hides a healing power. […] any slight wound you have will be healed" (Sword)) And it's silhouette matches hers a lot better. 

And finally, Plusle! Plusle's here not only because I think Mira needs the support (PLEASE give her back her meds), but because Mira herself is the support (the heart) that glues together the party. Plusle is by design a team-player that performs better with the right allies, both through ability and move-set (I'm very sorry but no-one else has any Pokémon with the Minus ability. Big oversight tbh). And one of the very first things Mira did on her journey was try to get a helping hand with the defenders. 

I decided very early on that Mira needed to have a Pika-clone, and that this Pika-clone could not, in any circumstance, actually be Pikachu (or Pichu). Mira bears the unwelcome mantle of being the Change God's (fake) chosen, the main character, the leader (sorta?) of the saviours. She isn't comfortable fitting into the role but tries to force it anyway.  

(Every region there's a Pokémon that, if sometimes only superficially, resembles series mascot Pikachu (and often acts as an early-game replacement for Pikachu) that are unofficially dubbed Pika-clones. They're kind of made fun of a little bit, but I adore them.) 

I kind of considered trying to give Mira a Mimikyu or Morpeko (other Pika-clones tend to have more biology focused Pokédex entries rather than personality ones? Meaning most of their personality come from depictions in media, like with Dedenne. But that's just a hungry little guy)? But Plusle won out quite handily. And. Well. Some other cringe-fail losers got those two anyway. 

And that's my essay! I'm dedicating it to my 750 loops/act 2 Siffrin who I kept waking up to repeatedly check different dialogues and also the three people who said they might want to read this. Which honestly made my day?? And made me realise that it was a bit silly to be anxious about sharing this! When! The whole point is that it's for fun!!

(By the way, if you enter act 3 without ever reading the secret library book on shields the game just makes up that you did actually read it and continues as normal. And also the memory of fishing maxes out at +80 attack :/ ) 

[pinkberrytea]

Kinky NSFW Alphabet: Mavka & Astarion

Eeee ty ty for the tag @nyx-knox! 🙌❣️✨ This made me realize I rarely ever talk about Mav and Astarion as a couple, I should do that more often 😭

Kinky NSFW Alphabet

Keeping it under the cut since this is a spicy one, so tagging folks first ✨ @zekeen, @bananasfosterparent, @honeybee-bard, @kalmiaphlox, @inkymoonbunny, @judasiskariot and @preciouslittle-bhaalbabe!

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Mav is cuddly. She will immediately snuggle up to his chest and wrap her tail around his leg, almost as if seeking reassurance that she’s been good, that he won’t leave her. Astarion typically isn’t, but with her, it’s different—while he finds it strange, having someone else crave affection from him so badly (beyond just sex, no less), indulging her makes him feel almost powerful, like he is needed, wanted, so he will press his lips to her forehead and run his fingers through her hair until she falls asleep, and in the morning, clean her up if they’ve made too bad of a mess.

B = Body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I’m an Astarion is an ass man truther, so he definitely has a thing for hers. Also her tail—he thinks it’s adorable how she will unconsciously perk it up whenever he's around, like a good little pup. As for Mav, she loves his hair, how soft and fluffy it is, but it’s his lips and fangs that always get her weak in the knees, especially when he flashes her that wicked smile of his.

C = Cum (Where does your muse prefer to cum/have someone cum?)

Inside, for both. Astarion loves marking her as his, stuffing her full and letting her fluttering walls milk him to the last drop. Mav, too, yearns to be filled with him and his seed, as only then can she truly feel whole, safe, so he will usually only pull out come morning.

D = Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory: a dirty secret of theirs)

Astarion will sometimes steal Mav’s clothing items—often her underwear, but anything with her blood on it will do—so he can jerk off to them later. She’s aware of this, and doesn’t mind at all, though he’s still under the impression she doesn’t know.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Both are very similar in that they do have experience, only this is their first time with a partner they love and who loves them back. For Mav specifically, she had never been with another fully consensually before Astarion. Laying with someone who is desperate to pleasure them back is a new and scary thing for both, and it can be in equal measure healing and even more damaging, at times. But they're working through it, together.

F = Favorite position (This goes without saying)

Missionary, for both. Feeling him pin her down under his body weight and shield her from the world around them is comforting for Mav. She craves the intimacy of it, and Astarion is more than happy to be entrusted with that control, to look into her eyes as they kiss and take in her image as she comes for him, cheeks flushed and his name on her lips.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

They aren't exactly goofy, but Astarion does tease Mav a lot. He loves watching her writhe and squirm, whine, moan, make all the cute noises, so edging and overstimulation are very typical for them.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Neither have body hair, Astarion in virtue of being an elf, and in Mav’s case, likely due to her origins—or maybe she's just like that.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

Mav tends to get emotional, and it's not uncommon for her to cry during sex. Astarion teases her about a lot of things, but not about this, since any sexual act is usually just as emotionally charged for him. Drying her tears is, in a way, like drying his own. How intense it gets varies a lot though, but even during a lighthearted quickie they both become enraptured in their own little world, where there's just the two of them, and nothing can hurt neither him nor her ever again.

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

During the events of the game, starting in Act 2 while they're still abstaining, Astarion makes a habit of jerking off every night while feeding on Mav. Sometimes she's awake for it, sometimes she isn't, but either way she doesn't mind. Mav rarely ever touches herself if he's not present, since Astarion is very adamant about wanting to participate, and he gets pouty whenever she comes without him being there to witness, which he's able to tell by her scent.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Oh, Astarion 100% has a choking kink—he takes great pleasure in squeezing Mav's neck and watching her gag, even better if she is tied up or blindfolded. Similarly, she loves surrendering control over her body to him. Needless to say, both also have a bloodplay kink, so him biting her is almost a given whenever they do anything sexual.

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Neither have much of a preference, but Mav does enjoy curling up anywhere with his scent, especially if she knows he won't be there when she wakes up—so basically, their own bed, or during the events of the game, his tent.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going?)

For Astarion, there is no greater turn-on than seeing Mav act all shy and bashful, ears and cheeks glowing a bright red and sweet little whines falling from her lips. He will immediately pounce and ravage her whenever he works her up to that point—which he can very easily do by either teasing or praising her, or maybe a mix of both. Also, again, drinking from her will inevitably cause him to pop a boner.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

They aren’t necessarily averse to it, but neither are very keen on her topping. Sometimes if feeling a little more adventurous they may decide to switch things up a bit, and Astarion does enjoy seeing Mav struggle to take the lead (especially if she’s riding him, with the added bonus that he gets to watch her tits bounce and her body get all sweaty and flushed), but even then, nothing that involves him getting restrained (much less humiliated) in any way. Also, bringing other people into their intimacy is something they're similarly not very enthusiastic about, Astarion in particular since he’s very possessive of her.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

They both have a preference for giving—Astarion because he thinks it’s adorable how she will squirm and moan with each flick of his tongue, and also because he loves tasting her, whereas Mav finds nothing more pleasurable than making him feel good. Skill-level wise, Astarion’s is higher due to him having hundreds of years of experience, although Mav’s clumsiness is both endearing and arousing for him, especially since she’s always so eager.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Astarion tends to like it rough, Mav prefers a more sensual pace, so they try to meet each other halfway, starting slow and intentional and then becoming more animalistic towards the end. Although this of course varies according to context—a quickie will usually be rough all the way, and more emotional sex, gentler and softer.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

They have quickies fairly often just because Astarion has such a high sex drive and there’s only so many hours in a day, but both prefer taking their time with it if possible, so they may enjoy exploring each other’s body to the fullest.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Both are fairly adventurous, especially Astarion. While Mav won’t typically make suggestions, she is always willing to try whenever he proposes something new. He is having fun exploring his newfound sexual freedom, focusing on his own pleasure instead of his partner’s, and she has no qualms whatsoever about not always being his priority in bed.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Astarion’s is much, much higher, but Mav does her best to keep up with him (especially since after a particularly rough session she knows that once they’re finished he will cradle her in his arms, stroke her hair and call her a good girl—no better motivation than that!). Mav also doesn’t last very long, at all, which he always teases her about.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Other than restraints and blindfolds, not really.

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

Astarion is a relentless tease, and Mav, his helpless victim. Squeezing her bum or stroking her cunt in public, whispering obscenities in her ears, pushing his hips against her own to let her feel his hardness, pointing out how wet she already is for him; all highly effective methods he will shamelessly use to make her putty in his hands.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Astarion isn’t very loud, especially once he stops performing during sex. That’s not to say he doesn’t moan, but it’s typically low grunts that will slip from his pretty lips with every thrust, only really audible when he has his mouth close to her ears. Mav, on the other hand, does make quite a bit of noise, which he will enthusiastically coax out of her by suddenly pinching a nipple or playing with her clit while she’s still recovering from an orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Pulling Mav to him by the tail is endlessly amusing to Astarion because the base of it is highly sensitive and vascularized, so nine times out of ten, she will let out the cutest yelp and become wet for him on the spot. He does this way too often, and it always works like a charm.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

We're all aware our boy is well endowed and has pecs for days, so honestly, good for Mav—although she herself was created specifically to be sexually enticing, if her round bum and perky tits are anything to go by, so good for Astarion, too!

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Astarion's is again much higher than Mav's—he is the one who tends to initiate most sexual interactions, but she is always receptive to him, especially since he knows exactly what gets her going (usually a balanced mix of praise and teasing, as mentioned above).

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Mav will fall asleep almost instantly once they’re done—she’s not typically a fast sleeper, insomnia being usually preferable to the nightmares that plague her every night, but when in his arms, cock drunk and safe, she will allow herself the rest. Astarion also struggles to trance for similar reasons, but unlike her, he doesn’t need to, so instead he’ll just watch her, memorize every detail of her face, from the cute little freckles on her nose to the way her long lashes cast a shadow over her cheeks.

[mooodyblue]

omg omg can I please have hc's of Jacob as a dad? I wrote my own but I wanna know what you come up with!!! <3333

eeee dad!jacob okayyy

- he's suuuuch a big reader. he loves reading to his kid like even if it's the encyclopedia and his child is 2 months old. he will sit there and read to them

- hes the type of dad to see his kid trip over nothing and nonchalantly go "oh no!" 😭 not in a way that he doesn't care bc he DOES but he doesn't want to overreact and then get a screaming child over it

- lots of museum trips 🫶🏼 he loves those little hands on kiddie ones with the fun stuff

- SOOO MANY PHOTOS !! he doesn't know if he has more photos of his child or more photos of his dog. he has to capture every little moment even if that includes them sleeping!!!

- he's very nervous when he has his first child...like he's up every 20 minutes in the nursery to check if they're still breathing and you're like "jacob plz i just got them to sleep like 5 mins ago" n ofc he's like "ok but a lot could happen in 5 minutes"

- let's be real. matching outfits.

- one hand always has a stroller and the other is his dogs leash. ALWAYS !

- girldad!jacob always has his nails painted btw. not by choice.

- i could talk about this all day ngl

[marihem]

Helloo i just wanna confess that im so in love with your frans dynamic 😭😭💙💙💙💙💙 their interaction, their platonic relationship.. aahh somehow whenever i see them i can feel their vibes as a someone who loves platonic partner so bad, the calm vibes and their own shenaningans- which i couldnt stop laughing

Like, romance but most dominated with platonic?? Homies but at the same time love each other but still friend agdhd like that idk how to describe their relation but damn i just love them

How you draw sans and frisk are my most favorite especially your frans dynamic, hope you have a nice day and keep making what you love about them!! 💙

AAAA THANK YOUUU 😭 I'M SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW 🥺💙

I've been reading what you wrote over and over and I'm just so glad to hear these from you! Indeed, those are the vibes I'm aiming for these two. Like other people around them, they couldn't really make out of what their relationship status is based on the binary "platonic" and "romantic" relationship. But you just know that they love and appreciate each other and always stick together and that's for sure 😌

I say they're "queerplatonic" because that's the most accurate "label" we can match to their relationship but if you actually asked them what they are, hehe you know what they'll say XD (omg I just love things that exist outside of the established standards made by Society TM)

I should tell y'all the story of how I slowly developed these two's relationship cuz it is also something that's connected to me personally haha ;D

EEEE again, I'm so so happy that you like my interpretation of Frisk and Sans!^^ What being obsessed with these characters for years does to a mf:

Please I'm more than happy to share my own take on these two as an individual and how they got to the being the people I've been drawing now as you can tell that these versions of Frisk and Sans are canon compliant and takes place years after the events of the game úဗù my ask box is always open 👀

Thank you so so much! Your words made my day and night and I'll still come to re-read this again and again! Please accept these humble lil doodles and I also wish you a wonderful day/night 💙💙

[hanasnx]

Sweetiebug I miss youuu

Anyway daddy Anakin has a special knack for coming up with punishments that really really fucking cut to your core, not in a fun way. He could spank you, but you'd like that, he could hit you, but you'd like that, he could raise his voice, but that would just make you talk back and get you into deeper trouble. No, I think when he's really angry, so angry he might do something he regrets if he gets his hands on you, he puts you in stress positions, tests your muscle strength, your endurance, see if you've been following the training regiment he created for you. Because, let's be honest, this is general Skywalker, if you think being his baby means you get to play princess all day long, you're just wrong, he's in charge of you so he's gonna make sure you're always bettering yourself, honouring him through your own actions.

Anyway, stress positions, a way of punishing you without touching you, he tells you to stand in the center of a room, exposed, vulnerable, and directs your body. "Hand up, leg out, sit deeper into that position, core tight, breathe. Breath properly, diaphragm not chest, there you are, good. Hold that for me, there you go angel. Don't move until I get back." What's good about stress positions is they're easy at first but as your muscles grow weaker they get harder and harder, it gives you time to reflect, figure out your apology and get really really sorry. His favorite it when he comes back and you're crying with fatigue but you're still holding that position, it turns his anger into a bit of pride that you held it for him.

-xstarkillerx

donnie youre diabolical with this one

he is such the cruel-and-unusual-punishment guy. saying he could spank or hit you and you'd like it oh my godd. imagining him raising his voice at you only for you to match it oh my GODD

"so angry he might do something he regrets if he gets his hands on you," my dick twitched.

"he's in charge of you so he's gonna make sure you're always bettering yourself, honouring him through your own actions." i love this line bcos it reminds me of our talk in the dms and how i said his padawan is a project. a reflection of himself, so he's going to make sure she's the best she can be, better than anyone. holds her to the high standards he holds himself. the fact this way of thinking translates into his sex life when he takes on the daddy role is so sdlkfjsldfj

when he's instructing you, redirecting your body and telling you to breathe EEEE

"it turns his anger into a bit of pride that you held it for him." hes so cruel and tyrannical and sexy i hate him so much

[lynzishell]

✨23 Faves of 2023✨

I've been tagged on a few different versions of this throughout the month. For mine, I've decided to take 23 moments from my story and share them in chorological order. 💖TYSM for tagging me @hannahssimblr, @jarakio, @rebouks, @theosconfessions, @bloomingkyras, @igotsnothing 💖 I'm sorry if I missed anyone... I'm usually better at keeping note of who tagged me but I dropped the ball on this one and had to search through my mentions lol!

Alright... let's dive in shall we?

✨First up: Looooook at baby Phoenix 🥹 hehe! This was the first time he visited Mt Komorebi and the first time he saw snow... sparking his love affair with both. If you listen carefully, you can hear Wolfgang yelling in the distance, "Yo Penis!" (I miss that nickname. Special thanks to Becca for never letting it die 😅)

✨Ahhh The Bluffs -- I think this is my favorite lot in game, and look how stunning it is at sunset! This is from Phoenix's 18th birthday... aka that fateful night when [redacted] was [redacted]

✨Just me being obsessed with San Myshuno... particularly the Spice District. This is from Phoenix and Dawn's movie night... back when they were still just friends/co-workers.

✨Eeee this moment still gives me all the feels! When these two finally crossed the line from friends to lovers.

✨This one doesn't need a caption... just look at them... and the vibrant colors... 😍

✨The moment they became official

✨Falling in looooooove

✨I don't know why, but this is actually my favorite pic of them

✨Greta returns...lol! It was actually unintentional how well these two match the environment, but it made taking screenies so fun!

✨My second favorite pic of these two... *sigh* just look at them

✨Enter my Asher obsession... I can't tell you how happy I was when I found this pose because this is exactly how I envisioned him entering the room... against the door frame all leaned over and relaxed... even the way his feet are crossed and his left arm just hangs... it's just sooo HIM.

✨I mean... ahhh! I love him! and Lex too lol... we don't see much of her in my story, but these two have been BFFs since middle school. She's super sweet and funny.

✨Atlas and Asher, my loves. There's so much in this scene for me... I had such a clear picture of it in my mind looong before I created it in sims, and I was pretty happy with how it came out. And the song I used was very purposeful (even if I never state why lol) This moment here was actually quite self-indulgent if I'm honest.

✨Yep, still obsessed with these two lol! I just love this shot... the colors and the way they're holding each other. This is actually the desktop background on my laptop lmao

✨I had soooo much fun making this post!! Omg this song is so fkin good! I'll probably reblog this post on New Year's just for funzies 😊

✨Back to Phoenix and Dawn as they prepare to move in together... Had to get a shot of the fountain before saying goodbye to the Spice District

✨Ahaa and here we are.. beginning the journey up Mt Komorebi! I think this little bridge is my favorite spot along the way. It's really cool, and I got lots of great screenies from all angles. I really like this one.

✨Love how this shot came out! We all know this moment, yeah? Right before Dawn [redacted]

✨Yay! Celebrating the fact they made it to the summit... enjoy you two, you earned it!

✨Me carefully side-stepping the sad posts... love this moment of the two of them reconnecting... with the water and the city in the background... I just think it's nice.

✨Relaxing in their favorite summer spot... I love all the blues

✨I really like this shot from Kiyoshi and Kaori's wedding, with only their ceremony in the distance in focus, and the vibrant colors.

✨This seemed like a nice one to end on. I love the snow falling out the window, and the way Dawn is lit up by the candles. And I know there are mods to get rid of the z's when they sleep, but tbh, I kinda think they're adorable lol

Thank you to anyone who took the time to go on this little journey with me! If you made it to the end, please help yourself to a cookie 🍪 and know that I adore you!

My story will return on Jan 1st yay!! 🎉

I'm not going to tag anyone because a post like this doesn't need a tag! If you haven't done this yet, PLEASE do! Revisit your work from the year and share your favorites with us! Let's all go into 2024 feeling excited and inspired 💖

[abcwordsurge]

hello my good friend mx surge! what kind of music do you like/prefer, genre-wise? got any favorite songs? and then can i get some favorite lyrics? smile! and. tell me what characters/stuff the lyrics make you think of if you'd like to go that far! doesn't have to be any characters I'd know about or even any at all. i am Curious <- all /nf! do as much as you like. i love asking questions and hearing your thoughts 🫡🫡 —marley

hello my wonderful friend marley! eeee I love talking about music. this is gonna be a long one

(disclaimer: I am admittedly Very Bad at genres, so I'm gonna give you artists and maybe you can decide for yourself what genres they are)

AJR is a big one, I could talk for days about AJR. they're one of the only bands I've been to a concert for (very very good concert, very fun, very dramatic, highly recommend, they are clearly showmen, not just musicians, and that makes for entertaining shows). I'm unironically following someone on tumblr who posts ONLY AJR stuff because every time I see the name "AJR" it's like a visceral reaction that makes me grin. ooh, also Twenty One Pilots. I love then. looking forward to their new album

I listen to a lot of broadway. some of my favorites are Be More Chill, Mean Girls, Six, and Titanic the Musical, just to name a few. I love seeing live shows especially- I saw Something Rotten not too long ago, and the Nick was BRILLIANT it. was, admittedly, a high school production, but nonetheless. he danced a lot, even unchoreographed dancing in the background, just like, vibing, and it was so obvious that he was just having a good time and enjoyed being there (the actor, that is, not the character) and I just liked watching him

oh, and Sleeping at Last! I first discovered them by their Atlas: Enneagram album, because I'm a nerd and adore personality tests (I'm an INTP and a 5 in case anyone was wondering), but I've been slowly absorbing the rest of their music, and it's all so beautiful

favorite songs... hm. I can't not say "2085," the closer to AJR's most recent album, and perhaps the most emotionally devastating song they have released as of yet (which is really saying something). best lyrics from that song are undoubtedly the last bit, where they say "you gotta get better, you've all that I got," then it gets softer and the lyrics change to "I gotta get better, I'm all that I've got." HEARTBREAKING /pos. I mean, I like that part enough that I wrote a whole fic inspired by it. one of my very few angst fics. "All That I've Got," a Minnesconsin fic (link here if you're curious). by the way, the first song of that album, "Maybe Man," is also a banger, highly recommend

I love "96000" from "In the Heights" (I think it's only in the movie version, not the musical version? not 100% sure though). ooh this song makes me crazy. this song... ok. I can't talk about this song without being a bit weird about it, but stick with me. this song always makes me think of the people on the Titanic. I read a book once with fictionalized versions of a few of the Titanic's officers and crew members, and once I was listening to this song and when it got to Sonny's verse, all I could think about was how exactly it matched fifth officer Harold Lowe's vibes. it's not really the lyrics, but several of the verses just remind me of various crew members' vibes. and it's. it's just a great song

"Air Catcher" by TOP. that's another wonderful song. always makes me think of Iowa to Wisconsin, for no particular reason. best lyric is "I don't believe in talking just to breathe," which is an idea that always appealed to me

Tyler Joseph is a BRILLIANT lyricist, actually. other great lyrics by him:

"our words are loud but now I'm talking action" (Neon Gravestones)

"for us to think is to be alive / and I will try with every rhyme / to come across like I am dying / to let you know you need to try to think" (Car Radio)

"death inspires me like a dog inspires a rabbit" (Heavydirtysoul)

"haunted by a couple big mistakes / she covers all the dents with the way she decorates" (Redecorate)

"like an "I love you" / that isn't words / like a song he wrote that's never heard" (Shy Away)

I love "despair" by leo. always makes me think of florida talking to loui (in a queerplatonic way, of course). another great floui song is "Tightrope" from The Greatest Showman, but I picture this one as loui to florida

holy moly this is even longer than expected. I'll leave you with this for now. you've probably gotten a good grasp of my taste by now haha. thank you sm for the ask, I had a delightful time answering :D

[tunabesimpin]

LETS FUCKING GOOOOO CONGRATS ON 800+ FOLLOWERS TUNA <3 !! the event u made looks super fun i had to jump in!!! im working on my own drawing + tiny drabble with a different set of ocs for the event but in the meantime ill also submit smthn here !!!

so im submitting, ur fav lil shrimp, BIDA!!

bida's favorite thing to do in the summer is mostly to be super active, like playing sports and running around doing stupid shit! bida's already a bold character but the summer season somehow makes them even livelier..and chaotic.

at the party itself, bida is going to do anything and EVERYTHING, they'll be indulging in all the little events planned, goes crazy competitive over them even, they're particularly excited for capture the flag..as it reminds them of a game he used to play back home..and they are SCARY good at it...they might pickpocket a couple of unfortunate souls too, you better keep an eye for them if i were u/j

bida's gonna pull up to the beach wearing a shrimp colored tshirt and your average swim trunks, + a matching bucket hat and some funny looking shades! [they dont have enough money to buy an actual swimsuit so they just settle with what they have], as for what they're bringing? their floatie of course [that they stole from an unknown third party </3] , along with sunscreen and a plastic bag with lotssss of snacks

their fave color... surprisingly.... is pastel purple

sebek is their very unwilling and hesitant plus one, bida knew all their other friends were already going, so they settled on inviting their grumpiest batchmate!!! cue a 4'10 bida dragging sebek by the feet to the sandy beaches LMAO

PLSSS ive said too much already , again CONGRATS ON 800+ !! best of luck w this event !!

--- As the festivities began taking place, Bida was more then happy to sign up for each and everyone of them. Joining in for beach volleyball, battling with the water guns, and having a splash contest was already so fulfilling! But then it was finally time for capture the flag, the main event Bida had been waiting for all day.

With most if not all the guests having arrived, it was easy to start separating into teams for the final event. As participants lined up and were grouped off, Sebek and Bida bickered back and forth. "Come on Sebek~! I bet you're just afraid you'll lose to me!" Bida teased. Sebeke was appalled at the thought and was quick to shout "There's no way I will lose to the likes of you! My dedicated training will prove your efforts to be futile!" Bida rolled their eyes and smirked before being called to the red team. Sebek was then called to the blue team. Bida gave Sebek a look from across the battlefield, pointing their thumb up only to dramatically drop in down with a proud smile.

The whistle blew and it was time to start the battle! Sebek was quick to play offense and managed to quickly charge headway to one of the red teams flags. The only one willing to take him head on being Bida. The chase begins! Bida quickly goes on the defensive, blocking Sebeks way back, effectively pushing him to run opposite. Sebek yelled as he was chased "GET THAT LOOK OFF YOUR FACE!" Bida smiled wickedly and mocked "What look~? Lookin at me? Aw" The two were practically running from side to side until Sebek finally found an opening to get back to blues base, but just as he thinks he's in the clear, Ace saves the red team on his way back by quickly nabbing the flag in Sebeks flag. Ace calls out "Ahaha getting too lovey dovey Croc!" The slip of the hand leaves Sebek speechless, but it's not a problem as Bida's laughter quickly fills the silence. ---

EEEE THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING!!! I HOPE THIS WASN't TOO MUCH XD I had so much fun drawin n writin this! Bida is such a chaotic lil menace i love. & thank u sm for the congratz !!! <3

[6okuto]

CONGRATS ON GETTING PUT PF SCHOOL🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 can i rq gen relationship hcs w/ akaashi thanks 🫡🫶

THANK U!!! EEEE U mean the world 2 me for asking for this actually btw. MY AKAASHI. MYYY KEIJI sobs and cries

you guys get matching slippers and they're like,, cute little animal ones. he makes sure to leave his right next to yours and they look like they're friends :)

you ask him to draw flowers for your phone background. he makes them simple at first when he doesn't know your plan, but when you send a screenshot he says wait then comes back 40 minutes later with better ones. you put them all in one background and he's vry happy!

^ he'd try to get a custom bouquet of the flowers he picked btw. he didn't plan on it initially,, but he walks past a flower shop and smiles when he remembers what you did then Boom there he goes impulsively walking in.

if you see him fiddling with his hands when he's nervous and hold them he starts playing with yours instead. he says it's more calming when it's you

[throughtrialbyfire]

Stillness for Athenath canvas for Emeros motion for Wyndrelis and formal for all three of them👀

EEEE lets go!! >:3c

stillness: How does your OC act while still? Are they fidgety? Do they have any common gestures or tics? Does their clothing affect how they hold themselves while at rest?

athenath is never still, even if in minor ways like tugging at their tunic or combing their hair. he's incapable of sitting motionless for long, and it takes great effort for him to manage it when necessary. however, in the chapter i'm posting soon, there is a scene where they're entirely still, but…. well it's not for good reasons 👀

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

emeros does have piercings!! they're featured in his ref art here. some of them are ones he did himself, and some were done by others. he has scars here and there but nothing major or noticeable, just marks of life. he wouldn't care if someone noticed them, frankly.

motion: How does your OC move? How does their clothing help or hinder their range of motion? Are they flexible, coordinated, clumsy?

wyndrelis is, surprisingly, fairly agile! i'd never say he's very flexible, though, but he is agile enough that he navigated the swinging axes in bleak falls barrow. as for his clothing, he tends to wear comfortable but well-fitted clothes, so i'd say his clothing tends to move more with him than against him

formal: What's your OC's formal look? Do they like dressing up? Do they have different looks for different occasions?

i'll need to draw them in formal wear soon, but in general, here's an idea of what they'd wear!

emeros - i think he would wear a lot of breton influences in his formal wear, since he lived in high rock for a while, while trying to incorporate bosmeri influence - a puff-sleeved shirt with a high neck, a beige ascot, green, sleeveless doublet with quite a lot of embroidery done in common bosmeri motifs, and long trousers tucked into beaded suede boots. he would want his formal wear to be as practical as it is elegant, and his usual belt would definitely be a feature in it. his hunting dagger would be there, sheathed at his side, for both the show of it and the comfort of knowing that it's there.

wyndrelis - he grew up in a mixture of nord, imperial, and dunmer culture, so that would likely reflect in his formal wear. a thick, tasseled, dark blue shawl over his shoulders with various constellation motifs (especially related to the mage sign), golden fastens keeping it in place, with a dark blue tunic, a dark, form-fitted vest, and black trousers tucked into fur boots, with leather gloves to match.

athenath - imperial fashion would have a big influence over them, since they grew up in and lived in cyrodiil most of their life. likely, they'd wear a dark red, suede shirt with a matching cape down to their shoulders, and matching pumpkin breeches with dark hose and mid-calf, laced boots. its an odd look, as it's more directly inspired by the bards of cyrodiilic court life, despite athenath never having set foot in a castle in his life up until skyrim, so while they wear it well, it still feels a little ill-fitted to them.

thank u so much for the asks!! <333333

oc appearance asks

[fyodior]

Alright bisch , im doing this

*slams my resume on your desk

K so Hi! I'm Noodles as you know by now and I go by she/they . Currently unemployed and finishing school and 18 years old.

Appearance wise I'm pretty lanky and tall(5'11) with short grey hair and blue eyes. I wear shit ton of hoodies and casual clothes that are more practical than for looks. (Side effect is I have always smth in my pockets like pens or money or gum, it's like Blackhole)

This feels weird talking about personality but hey whatever dhdh. I'm clearly an introvert but surprisingly I can thrive in social events too. I can easily talk to strangers and I would say even charm them if I put my mind to it , it just simply has a limit and after a while I fizzle out and feel like not talking. I like to give people things and help in any way, it brings me more joy than anything which translates into not handling affection well. I'm pretty chill and laid back compared to some people , I don't involve myself into dramas or issues since I prefer to watch afar. Even though I secretly might wanna punch some people who can't take the hint.(Violence is the answer sometimes kids) It's surprising how chill and unbothered I am but when shit goes down and I'm fed up I take the reigns and tell people what to do cause they're indecisive morons. It's not often but it fills me with pride when I can take the lead like this and people believe in me to be leader.

(I did the test but it's confusing a bit? If u know the other personality test I'm an INFP but thats a bit old now)

Some of my hobbies include drawing a shit ton of small doodles but never having the patience to stick with one piece too long. Piloting I would also consider a hobby , and reading and playing video games too in spare time. But lately taking walks has taken a big part in my life I have come to enjoy them too. I do bite my nails a lot unfortunately, old habit eeee

Likes and dislikes sheesh okay uh. I like people who don't lie about their feelings. Hate lies with passion. Those small white lies don't bother me but stuff like hiding your feelings and lying to another person's face whenever u like em or not makes my blood boil. I hate blueberries, lavender and coconut , Oblivious people and of course The current capitalistic system .

I like rats , snakes , birds ,cats and dogs of course . Creating anything brings me joy, whenever it be art , writing or even just ideas. My hands need to keep doing smth and creating is one way to do it. I also like winter and cold somehow , better than heat for sure

(U can go nsfw too but Its not a requirement btw heh)

(And for characters not to match with I don't think I'm comfy with mori much or nikolai sorryy)

Thank you for doing this event hon, and thank you for letting me participate , lov uuuuuuu

⚞ noodles x chuuya ⚟

⋆ ok first of all i know you dont like pink but i think its cute so suck it up

⋆ second of all. i rly wanted to be more creative and give you someone not super obvious but chuuya just works so well like that is ur man

⋆ third of all you will always be shipped with me above anyone else ok u know this

⋆ he is so fucking. gender. and sexy we discuss this often

⋆ above all else you are a fucking people pleaser even to ur own detriment dkfjdkjdf and i truly think chuuya is among the few people who wouldn't abuse this. he'd entertain you because he knows its fulfilling for you, but make sure you arent running yourself dry

⋆ he would indulge in your praise kink at every turn. not even just sexually although he def would be telling you (depending on position/situation) how sexy you look or how good you're being or how good ur fucking him

↣ in everyday life too! how much he appreciates you and how thankful he is for u. behind closed doors this man is so fucking soft no matter how steely he acts in front of others.

⋆ chuuya will so let you peg him in fact he will request this

⋆ chuuya is also not a liar (irl, probably lies his ass off to PM ppl) and really wants someone who he can trust to always be honest with him, because he def has trust issues.

⋆ he will not hide his feelings either. again he probably has a good ass poker face just bc . pm exec and all that but he will always be so straightforward because that's just how he is. you'd never have to worry about him stewing silently or secretly being pissed off

⋆ it irks him so bad how much taller you are but he tries to not let it get to him too bad dkfkdjkjfkj

⋆ "violence is sometimes the answer kids" i am 100% positive he has said that before at some point in his life

↣ he'd be a horrible enabler tho like you'd be ranting how much you want to kill a peer/coworker and he'd be like fucking do it. whats stopping you and ur like PRISON IS ??????

⋆ he's the same when it comes to avoiding unnecessary drama. he thinks it's dumb as fuck and has absolutely no interest in getting involved. but he does like shit talking with you at home fjkdfkjdfj or going on rants abt how much he fucking hates dazai and ur sitting on the couch as he paces around the room like. uh huh yes honey for sure

⋆ you'd def always be drawing or doodling sketches of him and the paper ones he'd keep all of them and store them bc he finds it so endearing

⋆ chuuya is the same exact way when it comes to an introvert that's able to be charming as fuck. like you'd be able to attend dinners or parties or whatever and charm everyone there but you leave after like an hour fkdfkdkjfdjk and then sit in silence on the couch watching tv to recharge

⋆ i dont think he'd be great about letting you be the leader/taking the reigns in situatiions honestly but you'd also completely trust him to not be a fucking idiot and trust his decisions so does it rly matter

⋆ why do you hate lavender. i love lavender. chuuya probably loves lavender

⋆ your ability to stay unbothered would be really good for him and his incredibly short (like him) temper. you'd be like the only person who could calm him down and get him to chill the fuck out literally please do this my guy is so high strung sometimes

⋆ he'd absolutely fucking obliterate your ass in any video games

⋆ power couple. can i be the third pls

⋆ IM SORRY I JUST CANT DO NSFW ABT YOU WITH ANYONE ELSE EVEN IF ITS FICTIONAL FJDJFJDF

⋆ love u

[teddybeartoji]

THE TIME HAS COME (🤨🤨🤨) I HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS READY FOR ANYTHING IN MY WHOLE ENTIRE LIFE

i have my tea i am comfy in my bed and i will go insane. i already know that this is gonna be really dumb but i think i've already made it rather clear that when i get excited i also get really stupid so yk you've been warned!!!! i do wanna apologize for taking a minute on this but I PROMISE THAT THIS WAS ON MY MIND EVERY SINGLE DAY MY SWEET SWEET ARI i love you

and a knight.  (or… a wolf?)

YEAHHHHHHHHHH off to a great start already i'll have you know i will not be normal about any of this every single line will get a yell out of me and you can only blame yourself okay

so i've been reading for exactly two minutes and i have tears in my eyes THE WAY YOU DESCRIBE EVERYTHING MAKES ME WANNA BAWL MY EYES OUT and i think i mean that in a good way. it's diabolical really.

and there’s a knight, just ahead, tall and imposing, covered in steel from head to toe. holding a blinding sword, facing the sky, doing nothing to stop the pitter patter of raindrops ricocheting off his burganet. you stand by the entrance of the woods, and watch him in silence.  he looks a little lonely. 

the way i could see him so clearly in my head aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i just immediately thought of his eyes too.... like the glimpse of his wolfish dark purple eyes peeking from underneath his helm.... you didn't even write about them but i just.... yeahh

they run in circles around each other, like the sun and the moon, an orbit of violence, matching their steps. almost in harmony — almost, but not quite, because suddenly they’re closing in on you, great and ugly, beasts wearing different hides, and —

fuck off i love this soo so much already it sets the tone for this so fucking well big dreamy sigh ari i'm letting out a big dreamy sigh

”and a guy… he was cool.” 

hashahshahsah i already know that i'm gonna love this reader this is so cute imagine seeing a knight and then just going cool and now imagine me fucking saying that as if I DON'T SAY THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME WHAT

the woods you long for. the ones you’ll never get to see up close. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAA BEING A ROYALTY AND BEING STUCK IN A STUPID CASTLE WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS TO RUN IN THE FOREST AND BE FREEEE GODDDDDDD SAVE MY LITTLE ROYALTIES KNIGHTS SAVE THEMMM look ari... i love you i'm gonna say that a lot but i just i can't NOT say it your art literally brings me so much fucking joy that i can't hold it back

WAITTTT HAHSAHSHASHGHAHHA THE READER CALLING THEIR KIDNAPPER HOT WTF THEY'RE LITERALLY MEEEE EEEE THAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY GUSHING OVER HIS SCAR AND HIS BICEPS BRO I'VE NEVER FELT MORE SEEN THAN I DO RIGHT NOW

ari/mickey hivemind goes crazy likee yessss make the king a real fucking piece of shit!!! yeah yeah yeah!!!!! ari do you think we should send our father to therapy yes or yes?

TOJI MENTION TOJI MENTION WAITTTT JASHASFAHGSHAGSHA I DIDN'T THINK THE KIDNAPPER WOULD BE TOJI EHEHEHHEHE STOPPP THIS IS SO FUNNY I MIGHT BE A LITTLE STUPID FOR NOT THINKING THAT EARLIER BUT HEHHEH

that is what royalty means — absolute dominion.  (it makes you want to curl into a ball.)

such a good line what the fuckkkkkkk imagine being a literary genius at the ripe age of 19 whewww

the young royalty being soooooo sick of being told to behave aaaaaaaaaa my baby my poor baby

a velvety voice. silky, smooth, tailored by the finest seamstress — tucked between the slightest raspy vowel, a hint of something deeper. it sounds like honey, wine, a molten mass of spring clouds. 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THE WAY MY OWN BREATH JUST HITCHED I THINK MY HEART STOPPED TOO OH MY BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BOY I LOVE HIM SOOOO MUCH I CAN SEE HIM IN THE ARMOR SOOO VIVIDLY HE'S GORGEOUS AND AND AND HIM AND HIS DANGEROUS LITTLE SMILE GODDDDDDD I NEED TO BE SEDATED AND HIS VOICEEE FUCCKKKKKK AND HIS EYESSSS YEAHH I'M SO GOOD SO GOOD

and he's so charming it hurts but you KNOW it really is that sort of dangerous charm, the lying type, the masking type - the type to attack when you least expect it

the knight chuckles; muffled by his closed fist. he’s feigning embarrassment, you can tell.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM he's a little shit what he is (affectionate)

lips pursed, like they’re aching to bare and to bite.

wolfy sugu is so ready to jump out and well i am ready for him to do that okay love how you don't say bark bc he'd never bark. he's either quiet or he's biting there is no inbetween

...studying his smile, picture perfect, tailor-made, sweet enough to melt on your tongue. so sweet you know it must be at least a little bit fake — the smile of a liar. 

YEAHHHHH THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUTTTTT okay no i need to say it again.... i love him. and i love how you write him ari. he's never felt more alive than he is in everything you write. it feels like you literally know him, he feels so real. and again i just love how you describe everything he gives you a tilt of his head, strands of charcoal following the movement. smooth, like a waltz, one you didn’t agree to. like yeah what if i'm having a braingasm rn what about it

”aren’t you grateful? this handsome, kind man is all yours.”

😳😳😳 damn the reader is better than i bc i think my knees would've buckled at least A LITTLE at that like even if he's like ugh a knight who's gonna like protect me or whatever HE'S STILL THE PRETTIEST GUY OKAY CAN'T EVEN BE MAD AT HIM PROPERLY

omfg sugu saying "my lord" MY MY MY MY that made my heart flutter a little too wheww i'm folding already

ARIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEEEEEEE THIS READER IS SOOOOOO MWAH MWAH MWAHH I LOVE THEMM WE'RE HOLDING HANDSS THEY'RE DOING THE BARKING WHILE SUGU IS DOING THE BITING IT'S THE DREAM DYNAMIC

(he’s your knight, now. indefinitely yours.)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUR KNIGHT HE'S YOUR KNIGHT YOURS YOURS YOURS

”i promise to be the most insufferable lord a knight has ever had. i won’t make your job easy for you.” and suguru only chuckles. raspy, like the bark of a tree, claw marks on the ground. ”good,” he grins, eyes rich with mirth, golden pears hanging off the branches. ”i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

it's official guys. this fic is gonna kill me. i'm already looking for a place to lay my bones in. yeah yeah. such a shame right. you can get the uh funeral info from ari. yeah they caused this so they have to deal with it. thanks for listeningAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARIII EVERYTHING YOU WRITE TASTES LIKE HONEY I FEEL LIKE I'M STUCK IN HONEY AND IT'S THE GREATEST THING OF ALL TIME

hello??? him crouching down when he's waking you up my brother in christ i think i'd have to just lay a fat fucking smooch on his forehead just bc he's so fucking close HOW COULD I NOTTTT sigh i love how soft he's being even though he's a literal knight with blood on his hands and sharp canines in his mouth and yetttt here he is as gentle as ever

when you hear the creaking of the door, as he steps over the threshold, you barely restrain the urge to kick your legs in victory. now he’s sure to get you the wrong breakfast; and then you can be as difficult as you please, demanding something else, over and over. an ungrateful, spoiled little brat. that’ll definitely make him quit. 

😐😐😐😐😐😐don't even have to read the next part to know what's coming.......................... oh sweetie.... oh you poor thing.... can't underestimate suguru like that...... he's literally the best guy around AND HE BROUGHT THEM A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHINGGG WHAT DID I SAYYYYYY ARI I'M GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT I'M GONNA BE BALD BY THE END OF THIS YOU'RE INSANE ARI N SUGU IS A FUCKING CRAZY DUO WE CANNOT HAVE THE TWO OF YOU TOGETHER THEY'RE GONNA GIVE US ALL HEART BURNN

...

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

WAIT

ARI

ARI

ARI WAIT

HE COOKED ALL OF THAT?????????????? ASAJKSAHDGJHALSLDHKAUWDHWUDHALKWDAUWDAKWHDKAWGDKUAWHD,AJWDKAWDWHAKJDHKUWAHDKAWJD THEY PALE I PALE WHAT I'M- WHAT

okay that was fucking insane i need a minute i think ARI WHAT DA HELL HE'S A KNIGHT AND HE'S BEAUTIFUL AND HE HAS THE SILKIEST VOICE AND HE SNARLS AND HE HAS TEETH AND HE COOKS AND HE TEASES AND HE COMFORTS AND YEAH FUCK OFF ACTUALLY + and then the reader mocking him and him just laughing BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I CANNOT DOO THISS i'm melting into a fucking puddle and you have to clean it up!!!!!

”no kissing involved.”

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

WOWWWW NANAMI MENTION!!!! i love when other character are mentioned i think it's super sweet that they all still exist in the same world always always always

in a matter of seconds, you seem to deflate, slumping back until your spine meets the headboard. sulking silently. ”so you didn't pull your sword out of a rock?” you huff, mood souring again, a lemony flavour in your veins. ”lame.” ”stone,” he corrects, unperturbed. ”and i'm afraid not.” he gives you another one of his placating smiles, barely concealed amusement swimming in his amber eyes. ”i pulled mine from an oak tree.” … ”wait, really?” the gleam in your eyes is back. suguru almost, almost feels bad. ”depends,” he quips, shooting you a lazy grin. ”how gullible are you, my lord?” (... oh. he was teasing you.)

STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP THE WAY I WOULD FALL FOR THIS TOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAA SOO STUPIDDD AND THE WAY I MADE FUN OF PRINCE!GOJO BEING GULLIBLE IN MY AU TOO BROOOO I'M JUST LIKE THEMMM I WOULD NOT RECOVER FROM THIS also your readers are always so relatable and it feels so good to connect with them bc this is most definitely the kind of royalty i'd be okay there's no way i could ever Behave

i'm sorry to bring up my prince!gojo again but i just keep thinking about him too yk.... how the royalties just want people to call them by their name.... to feel NORMAL for once aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

the reader painting the wolf and sugu complimenting them............ oh and the reader smiling at his sincere praise:(((((((((((((((((((((( and sugu in turn thinking that they're cute:((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((fuck

closer to meeting the little lamb beneath the wolf’s hide.

+

you have to be mean.

the little lamb who feels the innate need to be mean, to act tough in order to live. what if i jump of a bridge ari hm i am in a desperate need of a refreshing little swim i'll be fine in a few years (what if i also say....... my knight!reader........................................)(but they had to sow the wolf's hide onto themselves while your royalty!reader will most likely be able to leave it behind or atleast throw it aside for the time being)(sigh)

him having a moment there omfg what if he also had a dream???? i mean why else would he have this little huh? moment right????? fuck i think i'm reaching lmao LET ME BEEE OKAY

solitary, blurry; baring its fangs towards no one at all. a sorry spectacle of teeth.

ari my sweetest little poet i love you so you can't just drop these bangers on me and expect me to not shower you in love??? dummy

NOOOOO THE LITTLE BOY:((((((((((((((((((((((( oh and i can imagine sugu's angry eyes here toooo mmmmmmmmmm damn

(so this is how you get under this skin. cruelty, aimed not towards him, but towards the defenseless.  what a picture-perfect, self-destructive little knight.)

.................................................................. now i really don't know if i can keep going i'm gonna take a piss break then i'll get to contemplate our marriage on the fucking toilet brb okay i am back and i do not feel any better i need to hug a pillow or smth i think

(in your chest, your heartbeat tick-tocks.)

YEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH BABYY YOU GOT ONE OF THOSE TOO BITCH I MEAN BITCH AFFECTIONATELY I LOVE THEM BUT'S TIME TO BE A LOVER AND NOT A HATER MY LITTLE LORD YOU

AAAAAAAAAAA THEM GETTING ALL NERVOUS AND FLUSTERED BC YEAHHH GUESS WHAT YOU ARE KIND AND LOVING!!!!!! YOU ARE!!!!!! and sugu is just aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i'm melting they're melting we're just a big puddle of goo together

”a little sweetheart who pretends to be all big and bad…” he eyes you up and down, a meaningful look, raven locks moving as he tilts his head. towering over you. ”is that what you are?”

CAR CRASH SOUNDS WEEEEWOOOOWEEEEWOO SOMEBODY CALL THE AMULANCE WEEWOO BEEEEEP BEEEP AND THE POLICE OH MY GOD IT'S GONNA BLOW EVERYBODY GET AWAY FROM THE CAR AAAAAAOOIUGHHHHHHH STATIC NOISE BEEEP HOSPITAL SOUNDS HEART MONITOR GOING AN EVEN LOUDER BEEEEEEEEEEP i died

(you just want him to stop looking you so fondly.)

should i add some more car crash sounds or do you understand what i'm going through rn? ARI MY MOST BELOVED LITTLE FLOWER ON THIS EARTH I AM KISSING YOU ON THE FOREHEAD N PETTING YOUR HEAD YOU'RE SO GOOD YOU'RE SO SO FUCKING GOOD

suguru speaking so calmly, so smoothly while staring at them. taking in every little twitch, every little footstep, every little huff with a smile on his face i'm so fucking dead the reader feeling Seen and it just scaring the livining fuck out of them too aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa and then sugu holding back a coo bc He Knows he's beginning to understand them aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ari i need to kiss your knuckles one by one and your wrists you need to feel my love

sugu calling the reader sweetheart :/ JHAGSALHDIAHDJWDGAHKD just inhaled so hard i started coughing i am unable to be normal

”… thanks for breakfast.”  suguru beams, and you avoid his gaze, like always. biting into one of the rubies, the soft murmur of thanks still burning your tongue, soothed by sweet nectar. he lets you flee, lets you continue on like nothing happened, like it isn’t obvious how much you’ve warmed up to his presence. 

nothing warms my heart more than your art btw thank you for sharing your mind and your world with us ari my sweet

KNIGHT!SUGU ASKING FOR A FAVOUR HE JUST A BOY HE JUST WANTS TO TUSSLE WITH HIS FRIEND A LITTLE AAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE HIMMMMM AND THEN THE READER TELLING HIM THAT THEY WANT TO SWING A SWORDDDD PLEAAASEEEE I THINK I SAY THAT UR READERS ARE THE MOST RELATABLE ONES EVERY TIME BUT THIS TIME!!!! THIS TIME!!!!!!! THEY'RE EVEN MORE RELATABLE THAN EVER I LOVE THEM SOOOO MCUH I WANNA HUG THEM

... wolfing it down. WOLF MENTION WOLF MENTION WOLF MEN-

OH FUCK OFF YOU CAN FUCK RIGHT OFF (affectionate) SUGURU IN A LITTLE FLIMSY BLOUSE???????? I MIGHT'VE JUST POPPED A BONER I'M SORRY AAAAND IT'S ALMOST SEE THROUGHAAA ND YOU CAN SEE THE SSCAR AND AND AND H-HIS BICEPS GULPP HAH AND THEN HE HE PUTS HIS HAIR IN A BUN BROOOO I CAN'T I HAVE HORNY TEARS IN MY EYES I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS A THING

JADUDHWADWLAKHDHUHNSFIEFHAL THEY BITE HIM!!!! THEY BITE HIM!!!! I NEED TO DO THAT FUCK OFF THIS PERSON GETS ME SO WELL I LOVE YOU ARI YOU'RE A TRUE FUCKING BLESSING TO THIS WORLD AJHIDBKJAWDBANA WAITTT AND THEN HE GRABS THEIR FACEE AAAAUGHHHH AND OFFERS MORE SKIN TO BIIITTEEE AAAAA I'D SAY THAT I'M SPEECHLESS BUT THAT'S CLEARLY NOT TRUEE WHAT THE FUCKK

”i’m… just keeping you on your toes,” you stumble for an excuse, still unable to look at him properly. missing the way he stifles a bout of laughter. ”for your training, y’know? gotta stay on your guard.”

EEEEEEHEHEHEHHE this made me laugh so hard they're so real. and a little stupid. still very relatable. i just can't get over the fact that sugu just let it happen though....................... he definitely would so idk why i'm so surprised actually i don't think this is me being surprised i think this is me being flustered okay mystery solved thanks

HAIBARA MENTION!!!!!!! I REPEAT HAIBARA MENTION!!! THT'S SO CUTE ARI!!! HE'S SOOOO ADORABLE AND AHSHAHSHAH THE READER BEING THROWN OFF BY HIS ENTHUSIASM so so cute

SUGURU HOLDING A SWORD SUGURU HOLDING A SWORD SUGU-

PLEAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEE THE SWORD BEING TOO HEAVY FOR THEMM😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 waittt and them being embarrassed bc of it:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((MY BABYYYY + sugu trying to comfort them saying they weren't making fun of them my heart is crying he's such a sweetheart i need to kiss him wait what who said that

”… maybe next time,” you finally speak, still grumbling. after you’ve spent some time lifting weights in your room.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 MY LITTLE MEOWMEOW:((

SUGURU POUTS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA wait i think it's time for me to yap again. i love knight!suguru sooooooo much moss is a fucking genius for coming up with that i love their knight!sugu and i love your knight!sugu you guys just get him like nobody else does okay i love you

(not to injure, but to ground yourself, he’s learned. like how you clutch onto the fabric of your clothing when you’re nervous, sink your nails into your palm. not to injure, but to feel safe.)

ouchie ouch ouch

RIBCAGE MENTION RIBCAGE MENTION

”who are you?” comes a question, as the man turns to face him with a look full of contempt. ”their knight?” before suguru can say anything, you’ve hopped off the bench. clinging to him, with a firm nod; your arms around his bicep. ”yeah. he is.”

MELTING MELTING INTO THE BIGGEST PUDDLE OF GOO I AM A RIVER I AM A LAKE I AM THE OCEAN I'LL SWALLOW YOU IN RETURN FOR WRITING THESE FUCKING LINES ARI OHHH HOW GOOD THAT MUST'VE FELT FOR SUGURU TO FINALLY HAVE THE READER CLUTCHING TO HIM TRUSTING HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAA + him guiding them with a hand on their back i have hearts in my eyes

nooooooooooo my baby has really been cooped up in the castle:(((((( i'm gonna break them out myself i will do it!!!!

”i thought of you.”

RRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FEELING THE FEELINGS MAN him going out of his way to bring them a gift like this telling them that it made him think of them it's so over for me even if he just asked haibara to bring it it's still going out of his way bc c'monnnn knights aren't supposed to be gifting the royalties anything Ever and yettttt here we are ohh sugu:(((((((

ribcage mention a very important ribcage mention hey what does it feel like to be living inside my ribcage ari hm???? you have your own place in here i'll keep you warm n safe i promise. this gift means so much to them i wanna cry. and the little be good with no funny little quip-back ohhhhhhhhhh:(((((

HAHSHAHSAHSHAHSAHAH THE GOOD OLD PILLOWCASE N BEDSHEET ROPE ARI I LOVE IT

sighhhhh they just want to see the world ari:(((((( they're so sad they're so upset and they just. want. to. see. the. world. they're so used to hiding their sadness, so used to just acting annoyed at everything aaaaaaaaaaa it hurts ari it hurts they just want to feel the grass under their bare feet, feel the wind in their hair when they're running through the trees AAAAAAAAI'M GONNA CRY

you only shrug. ”i’m not surprised that they eat us.” you think of all the stories you’ve heard, the fairy tales you grew up with. ”… if i was a wolf, i’d hate humans too.” ”would you, now?” familiar amusement, seeping from his tongue, soft crows’ feet by his cedar eyes. ”good thing you aren’t a wolf, then. we’re lucky.” ”mhm. you’d be my first target.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THEY'RE SO CUTE I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC SO MUCH THEY WORK SO WELL TOGETHER

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmsugu being caught off guard by the fact that the reader wants to know more about him YEAAHHH TOUGH GUY IT'S YOUR TURN NOWW

uh oh knight!sugu vs my knight!reader moment............ he got lucky n scouted and ended up a proper knight...... while...... mine wasn't blessed by luck...... but them both still having the "protect the weak" mindset the brainrot is so real i can't escape it

the look in his eyes frightens you. deeper than the deepest lake, dark and murky, dragging him down. a devotion that smells of iron, tastes like steel. mania disguised as loyalty.

MANIA DISGUISED AS LOYALTY RRRAAAAAAAHHHHH I'M PACING AROUND IN MY ROOM I CAN'T SIT STILL ANYMORE YOU USE WORDS LIKE NO ONE ELSE YOU AND SUGU HAVE A LANGUAGE OF YOUR OWN AND I AM HAPPY TO BE WITNESSING IT you truly get him it's a wonder to read about

”… you’re a shy one, aren’t you?” he searches for your gaze, chuckling when he doesn’t find it. when you don’t let him. ”can’t even look people in the eye if they’re being nice to you… how precious.” ”oh, shut up,” you groan, glaring out into the night sky. blinking slowly, drowsily, biting back a yawn that your attentive knight still manages to notice.  (he looks a little enamored.)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA my computer almost exploded here btw i don't know what happened i think it's getting a little overwhelmed too and by little i mean a FUCKING LOT i love them so much i keep saying it bc i just need to say it okay

MY SWEET LITTLE LORD ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ARI holy fuck i am being changed as a person word by word you're a god no but him teasing the reader is soooo precious he never goes too far just on the edge of complimenting them and poking fun<33333333 ++ AND THEN THE READER BEING GREEDY GREEDY IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE ASKING FOR HIM TO CARRY THEM AND HE DOESSSS BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DOESS AA WHAT THE FUCKK IMAGINE HOW GOOD IT WOULD FEEL TO BE THIS CLOSE TO HIM TO HIS RIBCAGE TO HIS HEART

i love the tick-tocking. i love how you keep bringing up the clockwork hearts. i love it.

a sense of safety, when you can’t tell where your heartbeat ends and his begins.

what does it feel like being the new and better shakespeare btw i will make you famous idk if u don't care about being famous it's just about showing your art to everybody so you can feel the enormous love of the world directed right at you (fret not it's nothing compared to my love though)

like a big, annoyingly handsome rock.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 HASGAHSHGHASHA i'm sorry this maybe shouldn't be as funny as it is but you know me i bet being in his arms would feel so fucking secure though????? like even when it's just bc he's holding you back from escaping or whatever

waiitttt hhihiihihi the reader is so funny actually sugu move along man i'm the new knight "like, as a bit?" hsjashahshagsga made me laugh out loud i nEEED to boop their nose they're so silly

”what are you, stupid?” ”what did we say about letting people finish their sentences?” he raises a brow, and you try not to cower. rolling your eyes, instead.

PLEAASEEE HAHSHASHAHSHA their banter is soo good wahhhh my babies my sweethearts i hope nothing bad happens to them .

a grin breaks out across your lips, like a joyous bolt of lighting, and you lunge into his chest — throwing your arms over his broad shoulders, jumping up and down, planting a wet kiss against his cheek. bubbly, giddy, heart racing with disbelief. you don’t even have it in you to be bratty. ”thank you, thank you, thank you!” suguru makes a choked out noise, a little comical, breath hitching in the back of his throat. stabilizing you with a palm on the small of your back, patting it softly, once or twice, before retracting his arm and pulling away. clearing his throat. ”… you’re welcome.” (his ears burn a cherry red.)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKK THIS AHSKGASIAHSJA IS SO FUCKING SWEET HELP MEEE SOMEBODY HIS EARSS ARE REDD I CAN SEE IT SOO CLEARLY TOOO AAAAAAAAAA THE FAINT TINT OF PINK ON HIS CHEEKS I KNOW HIS HEART WAS ABOUT TO JUMP OUT FROM HIS CHEST EEEEEEEEE CUTIES CUTIES CUTIES and just the fact that he folded is so good too he truly does just want to keep the reader happy wahhhh

your knight exhales. worried, maybe, a little exasperated — mostly just trying to mask how infectious your joy is. how addicted he is to it, now that he’s seen it up close. he’s only caught glimpses in the midst of your painting sessions; to see it directed at him instead of the wolf on your canvas is a treasure he won’t soon forget. 

oh it's so over for him. he's in it now. get loved idiot. ++ ari that last sentence................................. that's going in the quote book you can't argue with me bc it's already in there

did you really think you could slip that little "your knight" by me huh???? you're not as slick as you think you are little iris I SEE YOU

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH:(((((((((((((((( THEY'RE FINALLY OUT!!!! THEY'RE IN THE WOODS HOW GOOD THAT MUST'VE FELT HOW GOOD THE FRESH AIR FELT IN THEIR LUNGS THE SOUND OF RUSTLING LEAVES IN THEIR EARS I CAN FEEL IT MYSELF THIS IS WHAT BEING ALIVE FEELS LIKE

DOUBLE OHHHHH WAT HOW HE'S LOOKING AT THEM BROOO HERE COME THE WATERWORKS just so obsessed with their own excitement so happy that he can be there for it happy that he's the one that made this happen in the first place:((((((((((((((

tick-tock.

”will you trust this wolf to keep you safe?”

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

him offering his hand and them FINALLLYYY TAKING IT ari i love them so much:(((((((((((((((((( they officially have a place in my heart next to the other knights and royalties hehehehe i'm so glad that we can share them i feel very honored

”keep me safe, wolfie.”

:(((((((((((((((((((((((they need to hug. like rn. or maybe i need them to hug me. idk. everybody needs to hug.

his laughter rings out into the air like a cicada song, sweet and nostalgic. or a howl, maybe. it makes you want to gnaw at his bones; memorize his taste, so you’ll never quite be without him. it’s not your fault he looks so chewable when he’s smiling like that.

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS 100000000% looks biteable and chewable and what makes that even better is the fact that he'd let you do that to him too... he'd let you bite and gnaw without a second thought he's so perfect

.......

oh he's so mean. HE'S SO MEAN. and the reader is so naive. and i'm so naive and he's so mean. /hj

gently, he grabs hold of your hand, bringing it to his lips as his eyes flutter shut. you bite back a squeak. his voice comes out low, sultry, honeyed — so heavy with emotion that it’s obvious he’s faking it. ”the only person i yearn to protect is you, my liege,” his breath feels hot against your skin. ”i could never love another. i exist for you, and you alone.”  suddenly, he’s smirking. you feel it against the knots of your knuckle, right before he cracks a single eye open. glimmering with deep amusement. ”… is that better?”

OHHHHHHHHHHHH HE'S MEAN MEAN. HE'S VILE HE'S WICKED AND I'M IN LOVE WITH HIM THIS IS SICKENING "possessive little thing....." 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

a big man down on his knees before you............................... i have a dream and that just might be it thank you for indulging me

”wolves eat bratty heirs, you know? better stay on my good side, your highness.” a bout of sleepy giggles. you curl an arm around his bicep, putting your weight onto him, but he doesn’t stumble. ”sorry, mr wolf! please, by all means, eat my dear father instead.” ”don’t be disrespectful.” ”sorry,” you quip, entirely unapologetic. ”i forgot you had a crush on him. that’s my ba — ow!” suguru brushes by you, walking forward, hiding his growing grin. leaving you with an ache in your hip and two wide eyes.  ”hurry up, my lord. we don’t have all day.” ”wha — you pinched me!” you stumble after him, barely containing your quiet delight. ”they’ll have your head for this, you know!” silent laughter. you don’t need to hear it to know that it’s there, just ahead of you, tucked into crows’ feet and a curl of his lips.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHE PLEASEEEE THEY'RE SO FUNNY TOGETHER THEY FIT TOGETHER SO WELL LIKE PUZZLE PIECES IT JUST FLOWS SO FUCKING GOOD AND I LOVE THEM AND I WANT THEM TO BE HAPPY AND I MIGHT'VE CAUGHT A GLIMPSE OF THE NEXT PART AND I AM NOW HERE HIDING BC I'M SCARED TO GO BACK THERE ARI PLEASE YOU'LL LET THEM BE HAPPY RIGHT??? I AM NOW VERY MUCH REGRETTING NOT READING THE CONTENTS FUCKK MEEE

suguru certainly isn’t. cutting his way through the bandit’s den, practically growling, sword painted such a dark shade of red that he doubts he’ll ever be able to wipe it clean. harsh slashes, pure instinct, wildfire inside his veins, iron on his tongue.  suguru isn’t thinking, he’s hunting. sniffing like a bloodhound. eyes scanning the area before him like a hungry beast. suguru is hunting — for you.

ARIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I'M SCARED and a little horny i think but that's beside's the point THE WOLF HAS ARRIVED OH HOW I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOUUUU the way you describe his anger is so fucking amazing i'm awe i read that and i saw red????? i feel what he's feeling

what you see is a knight, a wolf, a beast beneath the moonlight. a kind, kind man.

YOUR KIND, KIND MAN. AND FUCK THIS IS WHERE HE SAYS THEIR NAME???????????????????? FUCKK FUCK FUCK FUCK AND HE'S KISSING THEIR KNUCKLES BROOOOO I HAVE TEARS IN MY EYES AGAINNNNN THIS IS LIKE THE THIRD TIME WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME

and ah, you think; there it is. guilt. always, always clinging to him, a ghost haunting him wherever he goes. it’s been there since the beginning, in the scar reaching for his shoulder, the nature of his never-fading smile. guilt, guilt, guilt. you wonder if he's ever gone without it. you wonder if knights begin to crumble when they stop feeling ashamed. 

STOP STOP PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE PAUSE EVERYTHING I NEED THE TIME TO STOP I'M SORRRY???? "IF KNIGHTS BEGIN TO CRUMBLE WHEN THEY STOP FEELING ASHAMED." I'MMM SORRYYYY????????????????????????? LOOK ARI MY BELOVED MY SWEET LITTLE ANGEL I DON'T THINK I EVEN HAVE THE VOCABULARY FOR WHAT I WANNA SAY ABOUT THIS I DON'T THINK I COULD EVEN DO IT IN MY NATIVE LANGUAGE I DON'T THINK EVEN YELLING COULD DO THE DAMN THING

"IF KNIGHTS BEGIN TO CRUMBLE WHEN THEY STOP FEELING ASHAMED" HUHH

i will give you the sun so you could always bask in its warmth i will give you the moon so you could always lie in its light i will give you the stars so you could always play connect the dots the planets will be yours so you may always count the rings when you're bored i will give you the world so you may always feel loved you are changing lives with your writing you know. i mean that. i know that for a fact as for i am here right now. i love you.

”suguru —” you sigh, almost a hiss. ”i hit my head. once. that’s all.” you wipe away the wetness of your cheeks, biting back a sniffle. ”… you’re acting like i’m fucking dying. cut it out.” (for once, he’s relieved to hear that sharp edge of your voice. it means you’re feeling better.)

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭joking through pain hey i know that one

”i’m serious.” you’re pulling away, suddenly, clasping onto his cheeks with your tearstained palms. squishing his face together. ”it wasn’t your fault. it was mine.” he shakes his head, eager to protest, so you squish his cheeks with more force, and shake his head for him. like a misbehaving dog. ”nope. if you even think about apologizing, i’ll start crying again.” he lets out a huff. frowning, sadly, a downcast pair of eyes. ”don’t pout. i’ll bite you.” it’s slight, barely even there at all — but you think the corner of his mouth twitches upwards, just by a hair, exhaling through his nose with just the slightest hint of amusement.

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I'M SORRY THAT I'M JUST PLUCKING LIKE CHUNKS OUT OF THE THING BUT I JUST HAVE TO OKAY THIS IS IMPORTANT TO ME THIS PART ESPECIALLY FUUUCKKKKKK I'M CRYINGGG THIS IS SO SILLYY BUT I LOVE THEM SOOOO MUCH I LOVE THE READER I LOVE SUGU I LOVE THEM TOGETHER THEM SQUISHING HIS CHEEKS AND THREATENING TO BITE IS SO SERIOUS TO ME FUUUUUUCKKK SHOUDL I DO A FUCKING FUCK COUNT WAAAAHHH I SHOULD DO A TEAR COUNT INSTEAD BROO I'M SO DEHYDRATED NOW LOOK AT THIS LOSER CRYING OVER A FANFICCC MY SPOUSE IS JUST THE BEST ONE OUT THERE I CAN'T HOLD IT BACKKK

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAITTTTTT HE HAD A DREAMMM ARIII HE HAD A FUCKING DREAM SABSAKJSAGSKJASGAHLSHAHSKU

TICK-TOCK TICK-TOCK

A FOX WITH A CHEEEEKY SMILEEE AAAAAAA IT'S GETTING WORSE AND WORSE AND MY WORSE I MEAN AMAZING MY HEART IS SO FULL OF HONEY GOO AND I'M ABOUT TO EXPLODE

swallowing any embarrassment your tired mind can still feel. because your knight is right in front of you, eyes still red from crying, and you want him to be happy. “i think you’re my favorite person.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭THIS IS NOT OKAYYYY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I CAN'T BREATHE I HOPE YOU CAN FEEL MY MELTDOWN TO WHEREEVER YOU ARE MY LOVE AAAA HIS EYES ARE RED FROM CRYING AND YOU WANT HIM TO BE HAPPYYY GODDDDDDDD

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE'S BLUSHING AND HE'S FLUSTERED AND HE CAN'T EVEN SPEAK "MY BLUSHY KNIGHT" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I NEED A HEART TRANSPLANT JASGJBWAHGDJADJAWG WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNNN MY BLUSHY KNIGHTTT I JUST--- HE'S SO FUCKING CUTE

”you’re hallucinating,” he scoffs, shoving your head into the fluffy pillows all around you. ever so gently, listening to your muffled giggles. trying to stifle his own joy. ”go back to sleep.”

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭here comes the crying emoji hysteria this is what you do to me HE'S SO BOYFRIEND I CAN'TTTTTTT

ARMOR AND SUNFLOWER MENTION I AM HERE I AM HERE

STOPPPPPPPPPP HE MADE A DRAWING TOOOO I- JUS- FUCK. CAN'T THINK ANYMORE HE MADE A DRAWING TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HDAHWDKJ

NO NO LOOK YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE MADE. A DRAWING TOO. A KNIGHT. MADE A SKETCH WITH HIS HANDS. WITH COAL. OF A FOX. THAT HE SAW IT IN HIS DREAMS. OF A BRATTY LITTLE LORD. THAT HE SAW IN HIS DREAMS. AND IS NOW SITTING UNDER THE STARS WITH HIM. NOOOOO I CAN'T SEE ANYMORE AGAIN MY EYES ARE WATERY THIS IS NOT FINE BY ANY MEANS BTW ARI YOU WILL BE PUNISHED WITH KISSES AND HUGS AND PATS ON THE HEAD AAAUGHGHHG

”… i’ve been thinking.” ”uh oh.”

hasgahsaghshgahshahsahh my favourite thing to say i'm telling u we're holding hands with the reader

”you’ve become precious to me,” he admits. ”i can't remember what it felt like to not be yours.” his tongue curls around a familiar set of syllables, and your name seeps from his lips like a prayer, a vow, a trickle of honey and wine. devotion sticks to his tongue, to the vowels, a heavy fondness — something devout. something you've only ever heard from the mouths of priests.

just when i think that i can catch a break

"i can't remember what it felt like to not be yours." FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

i need you to NEVER shut up ari. never. ever. never stop writing never stop thinking never stop talking yapping rambling just never stop doing what you're doing okay. this is a threat.

fingers intertwining with your own. a perfect puzzle piece, a functional clockwork.

TICK-TOCK BABYYYYYYY i love repeating motifs but actually i don't know why i'm saying this i think you know that already smh maybe i just like repeating things over all don't mind me

EEEEEEEEEEEEEE HE'S BLUSHING AGAINNN GOD I LOVE THIS MASTERPIECE SO FUCKING MUCH I'M PRINTING IT OUT AND PUTTING IT UNDER MY PILLOW SO I CAN DREAM OF IT EVERY NIGHT

”you can sleep, if you’d like,” is whispered against your hair. soft, soothing, his palm on your spine. ”i’ve got you. always.”

SIGHHHHHHHHHH ONE BIG MASSIVE DREAMY SIGH

like how does one read this and not talk about it. the teeth and the biting. the wolf bringing you into the woods himself. the lamb sleeping in the wolf's arms. the smiles. the fond eyes. the hands - the way they refused to take his hand for so long and in the end they couldn't be away from it, glued against him. his hair and the way you describe it. sigh sigh sigh i got nothing but love and admiration for you. i think you were meant to write about him always always always. he lives inside you or maybe you just keep him alive, anyhow it's so good to read your art. we are all truly blessed i talk like i'm religious but the only religion i know is ari so to what you want with that

btwwwww have i told you that you were one of the two people who got me into writing? if i have then i'm just gonna repeat it. i remember reading that one suguru fic - the one where he cooks breakfast for the reader and i just... sat there staring at my phone thinking how is this a fanfic? what do you mean this is fanfiction? this belongs on a bookshelf in a cute little book store. the kind that's always so cozy and homey, the one that always smells sweet? the one where you can sit down by the window and read about love. i spiraled after reading it a little you know. i really did. so in love with the way you describe the surroundings, with the way you describe people and most importantly feelings and emotions. i definitely have said it before but your art makes me feel alive, makes me feel like i am there in the story - feeling everything they're feeling. you are amazing and i hope you know that.

thank you thank you thank you for including us all in your world, thank you for improving it thank you for making it so so much better. i love you very much. FAT MWAH TO YOU MWAH MWAH MWAH i hope you had a wonderful day today, i hope uni isn't being too much of a bitch and i hope you slept well!!!!!!! armin says hello too, he sat with me pretty much the whole time i was reading this he told me he loved it too i kept yapping about to him too smhh i love being annoying anyway this was a lot i hope my words can make your day a bit better or something like that and yeah LOVE U LOVE U LOVE U!!!

the paint doesn't move the way the light reflects ; suguru geto

synopsis; when the king puts you under the supervision of a dashing knight, you promise to make his job as difficult as possible. unfortunately, suguru geto is the patient sort.

word count; 21.1k (this accidentally turned into a novella idk how it happened nobody look at me :’3 this is a love letter to sugu ok…)

contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader, knight!sugu x royalty!reader, royalty au (not accurate to any time period ever), technically a bodyguard au, slowburn, reader is a brat and suguru likes it a little more than he should, reader also has thinly veiled daddy issues, protective sugu :3, he goes feral in one part (descriptions of violence and bloodshed), reader gets briefly kidnapped lol, very fluffy overall though!!, includes shifting povs & time-skips, also lots and lots of devotion, knight!sugu is real & beautiful & loves you specifically <33

a/n; HAPPY late BDAY SUGU MY BABY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE this fic has been in the works for a WHILE now and means a lot to me much like sugu himself :’3 dedicated to my beloved @kissxcore for infecting me w this concept & also my dear @mossmurdock for bringing knight!sugu into my life, both of u have made the brainrot infinitely worse and i will never be free (and ofc @softgirlgonehaywire & @dollsuguru & @jtkys for being the sweetest always) I LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!!

like most things, it begins and ends with a dream.

images form in the depths of your subconscious, wild and vivid, splattering on the canvas of your mind. a dream of cold metal, dark thickets, iron-scented skin — and a knight. 

(or… a wolf?)

before you is a small clearing. trees sprout from the rugged grounds, blooming proudly, clogging up the wool-coated sky. all around you lie empty, discarded suits of armor, dirty with rust and something that smells of death. wilted sunflowers stumble under their own weight, and dragonflies buzz in a frenzy, manic, driven to hysteria. in the distance you think you hear the shrieking of ravens.

and there’s a knight, just ahead, tall and imposing, covered in steel from head to toe. holding a blinding sword, facing the sky, doing nothing to stop the pitter patter of raindrops ricocheting off his burganet. you stand by the entrance of the woods, and watch him in silence. 

he looks a little lonely. 

and in comes the wolf. gracious, growling, big and bad, snarling and showing off the white of its fangs. dragging its claws against the ground, unruly fur ruffled by the harsh breeze; widening its maw, a silent fury on its tongue. from this angle, it looks a little like a grin.

the wolf begins to chase the knight. or maybe it’s the knight chasing the wolf — you can’t really tell. they run in circles around each other, like the sun and the moon, an orbit of violence, matching their steps. almost in harmony — almost, but not quite, because suddenly they’re closing in on you, great and ugly, beasts wearing different hides, and —

and that’s when you wake up.

”your highness!” 

a groan pushes past your lips, groggy with fatigue, and your eyelids flicker open like the drawing of a flimsy curtain. a series of mismatched little blinks, until your vision clears. 

above you waits a familiar face; impatient. one of the maids, your foggy brain tells you. and she isn’t pleased.

but all you do is drag your limbs up to cover your pillow-creased face, sluggishly, muttering beneath your breath. ”a wolf…”

silence. 

the maid tilts her head, with a furrow of her brows. 

”… excuse me?”

”there was a wolf,” you echo, a dreamy exhale muffled against the skin of your palm. stifling a yawn. ”and a guy… he was cool.” 

she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. settling back into her usual rhythm. mildy berating. ”did you have another one of your dreams?” she asks, a little irritated, and for a second you think you hear a tick-tock ticking down. ”at any rate — you need to get up. the king and queen demand your presence.”

ah. of course.

a huff, displeased, even as you force yourself into a sitting position. stretching your limbs like a grumpy feline. ”demands…” you murmur, a click of your tongue. ”they think they can just wake me up whenever they want? at the crack of dawn?”

”it’s 11 a.m, your highness.”

”early as hell,” you rasp, willfully tuning out her murmur of mind your language. letting your legs hang off the bed. ”what do they want, anyway?”

following your silent cue, she hums, walking towards the edge of the room. picking up your discarded blouse, and bringing it to you. ”i was told it was of utmost importance,” is all she says, lifting the fabric as if getting ready to dress you.

”i can do that myself,” you hiss, snatching the white silk from her outstretched hands. as always, she does nothing but sigh, sigh, sigh. it’s all they ever do. ”i’m not a toddler.”

from your position, still cozied up in bed, on messy sheets and fluffy pillows — you can see the view beyond your translucent window’s glass. a sky so gray it’s almost comforting, dark clouds forming in the distance, silently ruminating. when the maid pushes it open, and a cold breeze slips through the gap, you can smell the rain; heavy, earthy, daffodils and oak wood. in the distance, sunflower fields seek shelter from the downpour. 

but your eyes remain glued to the woods. far ahead, but still close enough to see — the woods you long for. the ones you’ll never get to see up close. 

a bitter taste blooms on your tongue. 

(spitefully, your teeth sink into the tender flesh of your bottom lip.)

”fine,” comes a heavy sigh, ruefully resigned. forcing yourself into compliancy. before you can change your mind, you hop off the mattress, running your fingers through tousled strands of hair. ”i’ll go see them.”

and she brightens, visibly, disapproving frown smoothed away with the breeze. for now. ”thank you. they are worried, i’ll have you know.”

a scoff, as you cross the threshold of your private quarters. humorous. ”i bet they are.” 

”your highness,” she calls, following close behind. her tone is reprimanding, now; you will yourself not to shrink. ”we almost lost you.”

”i almost got kidnapped,” you huff. ”not the same thing.”

again, that exasperated sigh. it’s a wonder her lungs haven’t run out of air. ”do you have any idea who that man was?” 

the question makes your mind still. shifting gears, a clockwork coming to life, repeating it inside your head — do you have any idea who that man was? 

”… he was hot.”

sigh. you hear it before it comes, and raise your lips on instinct. 

”no, i mean it!” you ensure her, throwing a fleeting glance behind you. ”he just had that rugged look about him, you know? the scar and everything…” a blissful little exhale, as you gush over your would-be killer. ”what a waste. if only he had gotten away.”

”with you in tow?” the maid quips, raising a brow. her words are steeped in irony.

”of course!” another disapproving glance. ”i mean, did you see those biceps —”

”behave.”

with a flutter of your puffy sleeves, you turn around to face her. and ah — there it is. the hardness of her jaw, those frosty pupils, the impending signs of her dwindling patience. you can see it, hear it, that eerie tick-tock signaling the breaching of her limit. all humans have one; a clockwork heart, of sorts, ticking down to the moment they run out of leftover kindness to give unruly heirs. 

over the years, you’ve gotten expertly good at making the clock tick quicken. a skill you’re very proud of.

”and what if i don’t?” you bite back, just barely restraining your growing grin. delighted at the attention. ”he had nice biceps! what, am i not allowed to tell the truth?”

and the tick-tock quickens. she stills, just behind you, hands on her hips. frustration bubbling beneath her sharp syllables. ”my god, you are impossible today!”

for a moment, you stop to look at her. weighing your options. should you reel it back in, try and appease her? or keep pushing? the answer, as always, is push. it’s all you’ll ever do.

so you turn on your heel, and take a step forward, a spiteful grin curved into your lips. ”deal with it, or leave.” a beat. ”i don’t remember asking you to accompany me.”

before you round the corner, your ears pick up on one final harsh sigh. she makes no move to follow you.

(hmph.)

”where is your maid?”

in front of you stands a throne, proud and luxurious, polished marble, two seats right next to each other. the quarters of the royal pair are the same as always, vivid paintings hanging from every wall in sight, wolf pelts thrown over tables and windowsills. the scent of dried lavender seeps through the air, suffocating you. 

and, of course, the king. speaking to you with the same judgemental voice as always; one you’ve grown painfully accustomed to. 

”i wanted her to get me breakfast,” is the lie you decide on, finely tailored in white. just to make sure she doesn’t get into any actual trouble. ”you didn’t exactly give me time to eat any.”

the king sighs, mild disappointment laced into the breath. nothing new. when he says your name, it comes out sounding like a bad joke. ” — you aren’t a child anymore. one day you’ll be ruling this kingdom; forcing the maids to do your bidding won’t win you any favours.” 

”mhm.” absently, you fidget with the sleeves of your blouse. not quite listening. ”so, what did you want? it’s not often i’m allowed here.”

an evil glint shines in your eyes, for a moment. you cast a meaningful glance at the maid by your father’s side — his personal favorite. 

”don’t you have, ah…” you taste the words on your tongue. ”more pressing matters to attend to?”

he doesn’t flinch. as always, he pretends not to know that you know — that everyone knows. 

yet he still gives you that cold, cold look, colder than the howls of wind beyond the castle walls, cold enough to send a shiver down your spine. it makes you want to push, push, push. break the clockwork in half.

but he’s wise enough to follow your lead. “let me get to the point, then,” he cranes his neck, showing off the fox pelt snug around his shoulders. ”the queen and i thought it best to hire a new knight for you.”

you blink. eyelashes fluttering. all you can hear is the pitter patter of rain against the windowpane. 

then you groan.

”another one?” you whine, barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet on the floor. ”please, no. it’s such a pain getting rid of them. you know they won’t last long!”

”we aren’t talking about any ordinary knight,” he tuts, as monotone as ever. ignoring your little temper tantrum. ”after what happened with toji zenin, we aren’t taking any chances.”

you tilt your head. confused, for a moment. ”toji?” the gears of your mind turn, clicking into place; zenin. a family of assassins, a man with a scar on his bottom lip. ”ohhh — the hottie.”

your father pretends not to hear you. 

”it was a close call,” he hums, and you muster the strength not to crack another joke about his biceps. it takes restraint. ”we need someone who can protect you properly. indefinitely, from even the stealthiest of assassins. so…”

your eyes meet his. gazes overlapping, the same colour, one above and one below. he’s always, always towered over you. for as long as you remember. 

that is what royalty means — absolute dominion. 

(it makes you want to curl into a ball.)

”today, you’ll be meeting with the greatest knight.” he says the words with an odd sense of pride, an inner satisfaction. ”he’ll be here any moment. i thought it best for you to get acquainted as soon as possible.”

a moment passes. you’re broken out of your bout of compliance, like a rubber band snapping. a clock tick quickening. ”wait, what?” you gape. ”father —”

”your majesty.” 

…

the correction is stern. gritting your teeth, you force the words from out your throat. ”… your majesty,” there’s a slight grumble to your voice, ”what the hell? now? i haven’t even —”

”you have no choice in this matter,” he cuts you off. coldly, coldly, coldly. ”behave, and there won’t be any complications.”

behave.

behave, behave, behave. it’s all they ever want from you.

(you might as well be a pet.)

the queen is silent, as always. eerily so, not saying a word, like a puppet on a string. she hasn’t looked you in the eye even once so far, not even a passing glance. not like you’d expect her to. her clockwork heart stopped beating for you a long time ago. 

automatons, the both of them. making decisions for you, like there isn’t a sliver of rational thought in your brain. how irritating.

you’re just about to part your lips, when —

”… am i interrupting?”

you still.

a velvety voice. silky, smooth, tailored by the finest seamstress — tucked between the slightest raspy vowel, a hint of something deeper. it sounds like honey, wine, a molten mass of spring clouds. 

the king ahead of you brightens, suddenly, lips curling up into a smile. it looks almost warm; you didn’t know he was capable of making that kind of expression. ”ah, suguru!” he calls out to the source of the noise. ”no, certainly not. forgive me for the short notice.”

when you turn around, you see a knight.

he’s beautiful. gorgeous, even. fair skin, sharp facial features, no scars to be seen. a sword hangs in a scabbard by his hip, and he’s wearing a set of armor, still glistening with the aftermaths of the rain beating down outside. his hair cascades down the metal like a black river, loose and silky, a single strand obscuring his pretty face. and his eyes are a soothing shade of brown; you’re almost certain they’d look warm, if there was any sunlight to engulf them. as it is, in the shadow of a murky spring morning, they’re a dark cedar, almost obsidian. but they look kind. 

and they’re fixed on the king. he’s smiling, too, a dangerous little tilt. disgustingly charming. he hangs his head in a bow, hand on his heart — reverent.

(ah. he’s one of those knights.)

”my king,” the strange knight greets, tongue wrapping around the vowels like a dragon curling around a pile of gold. ”not at all. i’m always grateful for an opportunity to see you.”

(oh god. it’s even worse than you thought.)

”i should say the same of you,” the king echoes, with a warmth that you’re wholly unaccustomed to. your stomach churns, swirling with discomfort. ”our nation’s pride and joy.”

the knight chuckles; muffled by his closed fist. he’s feigning embarrassment, you can tell. ”you flatter me,” he purrs, words flowing smoothly from his lips. too smoothly. ”i’m simply doing my duty as one of your subjects. but, needless to say — i’m honoured to have earned your respect.”

finally, his gaze shifts to you. and you think he must notice how disgusted you are, the reproach you feel for him, that silent contempt. because you aren’t trying to hide it; it’s there, clear as day, in the crease of your brow, your frosty pupils. lips pursed, like they’re aching to bare and to bite.

but he continues to smile. warm, still, like a mellow summer breeze. a well of pizzicato drops.

you feel a little nauseous.

”ah, and you must be the royal heir?” a tilt of his head, knowing. a shimmer of recognition painted in those ashen eyes. ”or should i say…. my liege.” 

he walks towards you, in long strides, slow and steady, only to get down on one knee. ew. ”forgive me; my name is suguru geto. your knight, from this day forth.” his palm unfurls, cedar eyes crinkling with feigned endearment. holding it out towards the subject of his newfound devotion. ”i’m delighted to finally meet you.”

(suguru geto. you’ve heard of him, of course. who hasn’t?)

his hand stills in the air, waiting patiently for yours; to bring it to his glossy lips. but you don’t do anything. nothing, other than studying his smile, picture perfect, tailor-made, sweet enough to melt on your tongue. so sweet you know it must be at least a little bit fake — the smile of a liar. 

it’s a smile you know well.

so you mimic it, a bitter glint in your eyes, only for your hands to retreat to your pockets. and out comes a purr. ”you’re a bad actor.”

silence. the knight doesn’t flinch, not even close, but he blinks, a flutter of his dark eyelashes. like a raven taking flight. that everlasting smile never falters, but for just a second, a clock-tick or two, you swear you catch the slightest hint of something flickering through his keen iris.

interest?

”forgive them, suguru,” the king is quick to chip in, finally stepping down from his throne to join you on the floor. the queen doesn’t move, but she gives suguru a fond smile, and it makes your grimace deepen. ”they woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. and they’re a bit of a problem child — i’m sure you’ve heard.”

that makes you snicker, silently. maybe just a little bit smug. you’re sure it must be a headache for him to deal with.

”i can’t say i haven’t,” suguru chuckles, raising himself up from the marble floor. your smile falls. ”but it’s not an issue. i understand.”

he looks at you, really looks at you, and you give him an unimpressed stare. wholly disinterested. trying not to squirm under his scrutiny. 

”i’m sure it must feel suffocating — being under this kind of supervision.” he gives you a tilt of his head, strands of charcoal following the movement. smooth, like a waltz, one you didn’t agree to. ”isn’t it?”

ah. the sympathy card.

before you can answer, he bows; hand on his heart. knights and their rituals. ”i’m at your service, my liege. if i make you uncomfortable, at any point, just tell me.” once more, he meets your gaze, a sincerity in his own — reserved just for you. ”really.”

… ugh.

to your right comes a pleased voice, deep and satisfied, as self-affirming as ever. ”i knew i could entrust them to you,” the king speaks, placing a palm on your shoulder. you try not to flinch. ”aren’t you grateful? this handsome, kind man is all yours.”

a sharp scoff is all you can muster, nails digging into the skin of your palm. but suguru only chuckles, good-natured.

they continue to speak, about this and that. you tune out most of it, caught up in preparing for the long headache ahead. sure, you’re an expert at getting knights to quit, but it takes time. weeks, sometimes, just to make them finally crack, push and push until their patience reaches its limit. and suguru seems resilient. more than anything, he seems thoroughly loyal to the king; that really doesn’t bode well for you.

but before you can formulate a step-by-step guide to making his job a living hell, the sound of your name snaps you out of your trance.

it’s the king, of course, as always. you hate that you still instinctively respond to his call. like an obedient puppy. ”show suguru to your quarters. he’ll be accompanying you indefinitely, from now on. don't give him any trouble.” his voice finally sounds cold again; a warning. ”i’ll hear about it.”

(indefinitely.)

a moment passes. then you sigh, deep and heavy, haphazardly hiding a roll of your eyes. ”yeah, yeah, yeah,” you cross your arms. ”i got it.”

suguru meets your furrowed brows with something gentle, a soothing little smile. offering his arm, for you to hold on to. knights and their rituals. ”shall we?”

but you brush past him. stubborn in your independence, in your desire to make this as discomforting for him as it is for you. ”follow me,” is all you say, a dissatisfied huff. loud enough to pick up on.

to your great displeasure, he matches your hurried pace. side by side, as you walk down the halls, the clicking of his shoes echoing against the marble. a shadow you can’t shine away; one that’ll stay with you indefinitely. you feel his gaze burn into you.

”my lord.”

”don’t talk to me,” you sigh, sharp like the sword by his hip. a low click of your tongue. ”just so you know, i didn’t agree to this.”

”that was my question, actually,” he grins, ever so slightly. fingertips tapping against his scabbard. ”i am sorry, you know. i meant what i said — i’m sure it’s difficult for you.” he casts you another one of those meaningful glances, a meaning you have no intention of discerning. ”but i have my orders.”

you bite back a laugh. ”you guys love those, huh?” when you turn your head to face him, still walking forward, he’s met with a taunting smirk. ”your little orders.”

but his smile doesn’t falter. damn.

”not a fan of knights?” he asks, instead, a playful lilt to his syrupy voice. coaxing, accommodating. infuriating.

”nope.” your footsteps quicken — but he keeps up, effortlessly. curse those abnormally long legs. ”you’re all just bootlickers. especially you.”

”oh?”

”don’t oh? me,” you snap, practically growling, ”like you weren’t seconds away from making out with the king back there. it’s all so fake.” the comment makes the corners of his lip quirk up, but you don’t turn around to see it. ”now that you’re alone with me, you’re already acting way less uptight, see?”

he hums. ”i figured it’d make you feel more at ease.”

”god, will you just cut it out?” a hiss breaks out of your throat, sharp and exasperated. tired, drained. you just want to go back to sleep. ”quit acting like you care about what i think. you’ll do whatever the king asks of you — that’s all you really care about.”

suguru stays silent, this time. matching your steps, observing you silently, out of the corner of his eye. the frown on your lips, the crease between your brows. etching them into his memory. you’re pissed, that much he can tell. and you definitely, definitely don’t like him. 

(”you’re a bad actor.”)

the knight comes to a standstill. parting his lips, enough for his voice to flow through, silken sheets and molten honey. a raspy tilt he tries his best to hide.

but his words carry a sincerity he could never fake. 

”from now on, i serve you.”

when the clicking of his shoes against cold marble flooring fades away, you halt. turning around, hesitantly, quirking a questioning brow. rain beats on beyond the window to your left, flicking against the glass, droplets clinging to the translucent surface. marigold petals kiss the windows in a flurry of cream and orange, fluttering about with the harsh bites of the wind, carried from the castle’s orchard. the endless hallway you find yourselves in smells of rainwater and spring.

suguru looks steadfast, where he’s standing, immovable. a little like a pillar of salt. when he speaks it sounds like he’s reciting a scripture.

”i’m loyal to the king. i have to follow his orders.” 

there’s something about his words that you can’t quite pinpoint. is it guilt or pride? ”but i am at your service. certain things are set in stone, but not others. i’ll let you decide how this goes.”

the hallway goes silent. he smiles, again, smaller this time. somehow more genuine.

”from now on, i’m your knight.” the pitter patter of rain mashes with the steady beating of a clock; rhythmic, soothing, a lullaby of rust and time. ”that’s all. i won’t be anything else.”

you stare. lips pursed, awaiting a clarification, but it doesn’t come. he’s giving you time to respond.

(he’s your knight, now. indefinitely yours.)

an inhale. the clock hands of your heart begin to move. ”in that case,” you exhale, lips curling up into a taunting smile. pleased with yourself. ”i promise to be the most insufferable lord a knight has ever had. i won’t make your job easy for you.”

and suguru only chuckles. raspy, like the bark of a tree, claw marks on the ground. ”good,” he grins, eyes rich with mirth, golden pears hanging off the branches. ”i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

he looks sincere. sounds sincere. all you do is blink, a sense of frustration nibbling at your heart, but the knight before you doesn’t falter. he only offers his arm to you, once more; a silent step towards reconciliation.

you watch him, silently. 

then you’re turning on your heel, swiftly, a low grumble at the base of your throat. ignoring him and his offer, walking towards your room with irritated steps that fade as you turn the corner.

behind you, suguru’s smile only grows.

”good morning, your highness.”

blinking sleepily, still regaining your ability to form coherent thoughts, all you can do is stare. studying the figure above you, towering over your half-asleep form, the deadpan expression on your face.

black hair, and amber eyes. a disgustingly charming smile. 

the gears of your mind finally click into place.

a whine flows from your lips, meek and disapproving, and you roll over to your side. pulling the covers over your head, as if to protect you from the existence of your newly hired knight. so it wasn’t just a bad dream.

but he doesn’t fade away, like an apparition. he stays right by your bed, crouching down next to it. you feel the weight of the mattress shift when he rests his elbow on the cushion. ”still too early?” he asks, soft enough not to grate your sensitive ears. ”i was told you usually get up around this time…”

a muffled groan. ”leave.”

”i’m afraid i can’t,” he hums, but you don’t sense much remorse. ”i’m not supposed to let you out of my sight for more than brief intervals at a time… that’s one thing i can’t compromise on.”

”i don’t care,” you whine, petulant. tightening your grip on the blanket surrounding you, desperate to savour the leftovers of your fuzzy dreams. ”’m not getting up…”

a click of his tongue. quiet, contemplative. until he decides on a course of action.

”would you like me to bring you breakfast, then?”

…

slowly, your eyes flicker open, consciousness beginning to stir. the tasty temptation rouses you from your half-slumber, ever so slightly; because he sounds sincere. he sounds like he really will bring you breakfast, if you just give him the order. 

it’s tempting. dangerously so. 

(how long has it been since one of the maids actually bothered to serve you breakfast?)

”… whatever,” you croak, finally. weighing the value of your own response — putting effort into not sounding too excited. (but you are.) ”sure. do what you want, just let me sleep.”

a relieved little breath slips from suguru’s lips, as he watches the lump under the blanket stir. ”alright,” he breathes. ”what would you like, my lord?”

(suddenly, you get an idea.)

a smug grin crawls up to rest on your lips, fresh mischief on your mind. ”figure it out yourself,” you chirp, awfully pleased with yourself. 

silence. 

then, you hear him hum — rising to his feet with a quiet groan. ”understood,” he quips. ”i’ll be back as soon as possible, your highness.”

when you hear the creaking of the door, as he steps over the threshold, you barely restrain the urge to kick your legs in victory. now he’s sure to get you the wrong breakfast; and then you can be as difficult as you please, demanding something else, over and over. an ungrateful, spoiled little brat. that’ll definitely make him quit. 

— sadly, it seems you were underestimating him. just a tiny, tiny bit.

before you, on a silver tray, lays a wide variety of breakfast foods. everything from syrupy pancakes and buttery croissants to neatly cut sandwiches and porridge, slices of fruit and fresh lemonade, coffee with cream and sugar, tiny jars of marmalade and jam. sparkling, glittering, begging to be devoured. handmade, you can tell, meticulously crafted by someone who knows what they’re doing. with a gulp, you attempt not to openly salivate — you had no clue the kitchen workers were this talented. 

for just a moment, you’re entirely speechless. he really went ahead and got you some of everything.

stumbling for the right words, any words, the only thing that escapes your throat is a meek huff. meant to sound displeased, but coming out just a little awestruck. ”this is… way, way too much. are you insane?”

he only shrugs. a sweet smile on his lips, sharp jaw resting on the heel of his palm. ”well, you wouldn’t give me any specifics,” he reminds you, a bit too smug for your liking. ”just eat what you like. i’ll keep your preferences in mind.”

you want to protest, want to put up a fight. want to resist his charms, his little peace offering.

but your stomach growls, suddenly. loud enough that you’re sure he hears it, but you don’t turn around to see any silent laughter — just picking up the fork, embarrassed, eager to just get rid of the ache in your gut. eager to get a taste of the delicacies in front of you. with hesitance, you cut into one of the fluffy pancakes, slathered with syrup, trying to ignore his expectant gaze. biting into it with your eyes closed.

when the sweet taste curls around your tongue, you physically feel yourself perk up. letting your eyes flutter open, your eyebrows raised, a sweetness that makes you sit up straighter. it practically melts in your mouth, honeyed and buttery, and it takes all your willpower to withhold a blissed out little sigh. 

it must be evident, on your features. because suguru sounds amused when he asks; ”good?”

”... better than usual, i guess.”

despite your half-assed attempt at hiding how pleased you are, his ever-present smile extends. ”oh, really?” he leans back in his chair, right next to the bed. exhaling in relief. ”i’m glad. i was worried my cooking wouldn’t be to your tastes.”

…

you pale.

silently, both awestruck and horrified, you look up to meet his teasing gaze. ”wait. you…” a pause. silent, palpable, dreading his answer. ”… made this?” 

”yes.”

another pause. 

”… like. all of it?”

”mhm.”

your gaze falls down to seek solace in your lap. avoiding his own, biting down on your lip, not quite enough to sting. fuck — you accidentally complimented his handmade breakfast. not off to a great start.

wallowing in your silent loss, you simply dig in; desperate to savour it, despite the lingering taste of failure on your tongue. once you’ve sipped the last of your coffee, foamy and rich, the knight to your right speaks up.

”so, your highness,” he begins. tactful, careful. clearing his throat. ”now that you’ve woken up a bit… and, forgive me if i’m overstepping, but —” he searches for your guarded gaze, playing with the beginnings of a smile. ”i was thinking it’d be good for us to get to know each other better.”

”ugh.”

a chuckle — seriously, does nothing offend this man? — flits past his lips. ”oh, don’t be like that, your highness. don’t you think it —”

”cut it out.” you shoot him a glare, voice set to a shivering tilt. ”stop acting like some perfect servant. it’s so obvious you’re playing it up.” a tiny huff, as you pop an apple slice into your mouth. ”makes me sick.”

”… right. you called my acting bad, before.”

”it is,” you nod, a mocking imitation on your tongue. eyes fluttering shut as you bring a hand to your chest. ”oooh, look at me, i’m so humble and loyal! why, of course i don’t mind being summoned with no prior notice! would you like me to lick your shoes, my sweet king?”

and, honestly, you expect him to get at least a little bit angry. the last guy certainly was.

but suguru laughs, suddenly, from the bottom of his gut — a genuine sound. sunshine spilling from his lips, amusement laced together with the octaves. his eyes are crinkled at the edges, like the leaves of a golden ginkgo tree. ”okay, okay,” he puts his hands up, as if readying for a smooth surrender. still amused. ”i’ll try to be more… unguarded, then. would that satisfy you?”

you give him a look. 

he returns it with a smile. ”i’ll take that as a yes,” is all he croons, reaching a hand out. it hangs still in the air, waiting patiently for a response. a familiar sight.

you blink. looking at it, silently, as if trying to solve a puzzle in the pattern of his fingertips. 

then you sigh. ”for the last time, i’m not letting you kiss my hand, you —”

”a handshake,” he cuts you off. soft, a tilt of his head; awfully charming. reassuring you. ”no kissing involved.”

a handshake.

(come to think of it, you don’t think anyone’s ever tried to shake your hand before. it’s something you see other people do; maids, knights, butlers. people on equal ground with each other.)

after a moment of silence, you avert your gaze. there’s a slight, slight flush to your cheeks, one you hope stays hidden from his keen eyes. you grumble, intent on not appeasing him. ”… i’m not shaking your hand, either.”

suguru quirks a brow, smile yet to fall, waiting a few moments more until he gives in. ”you are difficult,” he chuckles, and it sounds almost pleased. ”kento was right.”

kento? now, why does that sound familiar…? 

”— but that’s okay. i look forward to getting to know you better, either way.” his hand retreats to his lap, pliant. ”eventually.”

”that’s not happening.”

”oh?” you swear that smile of his grows, just a little. a man who enjoys a good challenge. humming, closing his eyes for a brief second, switching tactics as if shifting gears. ”then, tell me — is there anything you’d like to know about me?”

hell no, is what you want to say. and you almost, almost do. eager to move one step ahead of him, stubborn in your desire to scare him off.

but then you remember the tale.

so you still, ever so slightly, and suguru leans forward. by a hair, noticing your expression, maybe, the curiosity simmering in your veins. seeping out, little by little, and even though you know you shouldn’t — you just can’t resist the temptation to ask…

”… is it true?”

he tilts his head.

”the … you know.” you move your hands, a bit, as if hoping they’ll say the words for you. they don’t. ”your sword. did you really…” a pause, as your eager gaze trails down to his hip, the scabbard attached to his belt. and then a gulp. 

”… pull it out of a stone?”

a series of silent blinks. then suguru chuckles — dripping with fresh amusement, a glimmer of teeth behind his lips. ”oh, so you’ve heard?”

and, like a pair of shooting stars, your eyes flicker over to meet his. almost gleaming with newfound excitement, a little erratic. ”is — is it true?”

”it’s an old folktale,” he’s quick to intercept. ”gets said about basically every great knight… or, what the public deems as good, anyhow.”

(ah. the humble facade slipped away.)

in a matter of seconds, you seem to deflate, slumping back until your spine meets the headboard. sulking silently. ”so you didn't pull your sword out of a rock?” you huff, mood souring again, a lemony flavour in your veins. ”lame.”

”stone,” he corrects, unperturbed. ”and i'm afraid not.” he gives you another one of his placating smiles, barely concealed amusement swimming in his amber eyes. ”i pulled mine from an oak tree.”

…

”wait, really?”

the gleam in your eyes is back. suguru almost, almost feels bad.

”depends,” he quips, shooting you a lazy grin. ”how gullible are you, my lord?”

(... oh. he was teasing you.)

an embarrassed heat crawls up your neck, rooting itself into the column of your throat, and all you can do to distract him from it is to scoff. sharply, as if hoping just the sound will be enough to cut into his smooth skin. ”whatever.”

suguru continues to smile, crows’ feet by his eyes, something deliberate in his silent stare. so you stumble for something, anything to say.

”also, can you quit the my lord stuff?” you settle on, taking a shallow sip of the lemonade. sour and sweet, nice and chilled on your tongue. ”it’s creepy.”

he blinks. a flutter of his dark lashes, fingers tapping at his bended knee. he looks contemplative, for a moment. ”does it make you uncomfortable?” he asks, tilting his head. ”i can stick to my liege, if that’s better. just say the word.” 

”god, you’re so annoying,” you groan, licking the lemony residue off your lips. ”just use my name.”

suddenly, suguru stills. fingertips frozen, for a moment, no longer tapping at his thigh. he traps his bottom lip between his teeth, a hesitant hum crawling up the confines of his throat. 

”that….” he trails off, thumb absentmindedly smoothing over the leather of his scabbard. ”seems a little much.”

when you turn to look at him, he seems a little put off. uncomfortable, maybe — or just caught off guard? it’s hard to get a read on him. for someone who smiles so often, his emotions don’t appear very bright.

a pang of something grasps onto your clockwork heart, and a frown pulls at your bottom lip. frustration gnawing at your veins. ”you’re here to service me, aren’t you?” you ask, with a shallow huff. ”just do as i say.”

”well, i still have my boundaries.” suguru leans back, crossing his legs, gazing at you with slightly lidded eyes. ”and, on paper — i’m only here to protect you. the servicing is my own choice.” 

a very, very judgemental look. he returns it with a tug of his lips. 

”… you really do like being ordered around, don’t you?”

suguru shrugs. playful. ”makes me feel needed,” he purrs, watching you wolf down the breakfast he made.

once you’ve had your fill, he’s quick to gather the silver tray in his steady arms, and you do your very best to hold back from thanking him for the meal. it aches a little, but you can’t give in — you don’t have a choice. you can’t allow yourself to be anything other than the most ungrateful, annoying royal in the kingdom.

anything to snap his clockwork heart in half.

— a week passes with no particular developments. you try your damndest to bother him, but suguru is stubborn. stubborn enough that you’re starting to doubt he’ll ever leave you alone, no matter how much you ignore him, or hiss at him, or whine at him to make you an annoyingly specific assortment of breakfast foods.

he never stops smiling, no matter how bothersome you’re being. the tick-tock of his patience remains unbroken. 

(so for now, you figure you’ll just have to adjust.)

a sense of contentment simmers in the open air, when suguru knocks at your door, waiting for a groan and a grouchy come in. it takes you a few moments longer to respond than what he’s used to, and he notes that you sound a little less irritated when you do.

as he steps over the threshold, bowing his head instinctevely, he’s met with the sight of you fully immersed. holding a paintbrush between your fingers, lifting it, movements delicate, self-assured. like it comes to you without thinking. you’re seated right by the window, enough for the would-be daylight to flicker in. as it stands, the weather is still sour. 

he walks up to you, as always, never more than a few steps away.

and, for a moment, all he does is watch you. silently, as you dip your brush in smeary cobalt paint, a splatter of colour on the white canvas. melting together with the indigo and obsidian. there’s a certain rhythm to it, a kind of dance between you and your mind and the painting in front of you — not even close to being finished. a dip of your brush blooms into a jaw, a flick of your wrist into a set of fangs. cobalt cream and silvery edges, an imitation of what you saw in your sleep. murky, blurry, a dream-like clearing in the woods. 

as you work, a sense of relaxation smooths along your sinuses. coaxing you into breathing out, into letting your clenched jaw rest for a while. turning all your irritation into brushstrokes. into a hungry, hungry wolf. 

finally, your knight opts to break the silence.

”you’re quite talented.” 

it’s an earnest comment. filled with respect, not the idle flattery you’re so used to. and despite yourself, you can’t help but grin — glowing a little beneath the praise. prideful, smug, almost giddy. he watches intently as your expression shifts, as those fleeting flickers of joy dance along the contours of your cheekbones. as you lap up his praise like the chamomile tea he served you this morning.

suguru smiles. you have a cute side, he thinks. for no more than a mere moment, he finally feels as if he’s getting somewhere; getting closer to breaking that thorny, thorny shell of yours. closer to meeting the little lamb beneath the wolf’s hide.

but your mind quickly catches up to your body, realizing that your lips are curled up into a pleased smile, and you clench your jaw again. mindful not to let him see it. painting makes you far too careless, too unguarded; you have to be mean.

stuck in a bout of frustration, you put a little too much force into the motion of your fingers, a small slip of the hand. but that’s all it takes. suddenly, the smooth, calm sea of fur on the canvas turns violent, a little more unruly, and you withhold a wince. doing your best to mend the damage. flick, flick, across the canvas, as if to appease the hungry wolf. 

from behind you, a tiny exhale. laced with a kind of stifled amusement, one that makes you snap your jaw in his direction. brows knitted in anger.

”what?”

suguru clears his throat. ”nothing, my liege,” he hides a smile behind his knuckle. eyes gliding across the murky smear of fangs and fur, interest piqued. ”i’m just curious… why a wolf?”

a huff. briefly, you consider ignoring him, but….

(something in his tone convinces you not to.)

”… i saw one,” you admit, absently, staring at the blue and gray of the canvas. flick, flick. violet, navy, a little more depth. ”in my dream.”

silence. your knight doesn’t respond. surely, he must think you childish; everyone else does. why would he be the exception? why did you tell him anything at all? 

a sense of regret mixes with the paint. the weight of a brush in your hand truly does make you careless, doesn’t it?

”… huh.”

a clenching of teeth. you muster the will to turn your head, just to give him a questioning look, a silent aggression. biting before he can. but he’s not looking at you; he’s looking at the painting, the wolf that isn’t quite a wolf yet, just blue and gray on paper. a blur of messy motions.

then he shakes his head. ”no, nothing.” 

you quirk a brow. 

but you don’t say anything. falling silent, falling back into the rhythm of it all, painting until you grow bored of it. the wolf looks at you both, still thoroughly unfinished, jaw half-painted, no trees or knights to keep it company. solitary, blurry; baring its fangs towards no one at all. a sorry spectacle of teeth.

— a couple days later, as you’re walking through the castle with suguru in tow, still adamantly refusing to curl your fingers around his bicep, a loud crash breaks you out of your hushed banter.

the two of you share a look. it came from farther away, just beyond the next turn, a certain hallway decorated with delicate vases. one the castle maids desperately tried to keep you from, when you were younger, worried about your habit of jumping around while pretending to be some sort of feral animal. worried, of course, about the safety of the porcelain rather than the safety of the child.

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out the source of the sound. and, lo and behold, what waits beyond the turn ahead is a crying boy and a broken vase.

fat tears cascade down his reddened cheeks, silent fear knit into the way his face is scrunched up. he can’t be older than six or seven; one of the maid’s children, you assume, the kind that doesn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. he looks panicked, down on his knees, holding a large piece of porcelain, painted flowers etched into the front.

what a mess.

when the clicking of your shoes reaches his little ears, he looks up at you with wide, shameful eyes. still sitting amongst the littered shards, the spilt water and irises soon to wilt. it reminds you of something, a memory you don’t quite want to recall; a different child, tiny and alone. taught to feel shame at the moment of their birth. 

it makes your pace falter, a bit, but suguru moves without hesitation. long, careful strides, one foot after the other. 

he crouches down in front of the boy, gentle as he takes the shattered piece of porcelain from his tiny palm. so he doesn’t hurt himself. ”hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, speaking even softer than usual, his voice like a flurry of feathers and jasmine petals. ”are you hurt?”

he’s patient. smiling comfortingly, considerate, grounding, a blanket of wool like the one forming on the border of the horizon. but the child continues to sniffle and hiccup, curling into a ball as if readying for a strike. like an abandoned puppy.

you sigh.

after a moment’s hesitation, you’re stepping forward, figure slipping from the shadows and coming into view. joining the miserable pair, the jagged shards on the marble floor. 

there’s a cold, cold look in your eyes when the boy raises his head to meet them.

a flick of your wrist; you wave your hand once, then twice. ”shoo. hurry up.” 

he blinks. tears clumping his lashes together, cheeks flushed from the panic of it all. he stammers when he parts his lips. ”b… but —”

”didn’t you hear me?” comes a scoff, harsh, cutting through the air. right through the fear and panic. ”that was an order. just run back to your mommy already.” you cross your arms, shaking your head in disapproval. mimicking the king, though you think it’s lost on your spectators. ”all that crying is making my head hurt, geez.”

a series of hesitant blinks. crumbling beneath your commanding gaze, the child stumbles to his feet, sparing suguru one last unsure little glance before scurrying off. the sigh that slips from your lips is quiet, barely audible, tinged with relief. 

when you look down to the floor, you find that suguru is already looking at you; a furrow to his brows. angry, for once. just a tiny, tiny flicker of distaste. you reward him with a cold smile. 

(so this is how you get under this skin. cruelty, aimed not towards him, but towards the defenseless. 

what a picture-perfect, self-destructive little knight.)

just as the child turns the corner ahead, you hear the echo of a maid calling out from behind you. her voice is dripping with fatigue, exasperation, a flurry of sighs you’ve grown far too familiar with.

”your highness! what have you done now?”

there it is, you think; the curtain call you’ve been waiting for. with a swift turn of your heel, sheepish expression ready to go, your focus shifts onto one sole objective — act annoying.

”walked into a vase,” you chirp, proudly, just the slightest bit theatrical. gesturing dismissively towards the broken spectacle, as suguru raises himself from the floor. ”my bad. not my fault you make them so easy to break, though.”

she inches closer, with a disapproving stare, and you hear a tick-tock in your ear. sensing the limit of her patience. ”i’ll have you know these vases are expensive,” she clicks her tongue. ”do you truly think you can go around breaking whatever you please?”

”… well. i mean… i do kind of own this place, don’t i? or — i will.” you tilt your head, faux contemplation on your features, shifting into a spoiled smile. ”so — technically — i broke my own vase. no harm done!”

”… my lord —”

”quiet.” suguru stiffens, ever so slightly, following your sharp whisper. ”don’t fuck this up.”

he looks at you, silently. not saying another word.

(there’s a shame in his eyes that you don’t turn your head to see.)

it doesn’t take long for the maid to shoo you away, pinching her brow at your carefree laughter, bitter at the prospect of cleaning up your mess. she makes sure to give suguru a sweet smile, though, and doesn’t bother to hide the sympathy in it. sympathy for him, such a handsome, well-behaved knight, forced to service such a brat.

the smile he gives her in return is a stiff one. almost, almost cold. but he bows, and follows your retreating form, until you’re all alone together.

the walk is silent. maybe just a little heavy, as you try to ignore the stare burning into your skin, trying to swallow your own displeasure. it’s subtle, something you learned to internalize long ago, but it’s there; a slight sadness. you don’t enjoy getting yelled at.

a thick silence stretches on, before crumbling into dust. you aren’t sure how much time has passed when a certain velvety voice curls around your senses.

”your highness.”

he’s come to a standstill, again. you really should just ignore him and keep walking. but you still, anyway, following his cue, turning towards him with a look that says what now? — you aren’t sure what to expect. certainly not the sentence that ends up spilling from his lips, like a spring breeze through an opened window, tinged with something you fear may be close to fondness. 

(in your chest, your heartbeat tick-tocks.)

he smiles, gentle, with eyes that see right through you. and he speaks. 

”you’re actually kind, aren’t you?”

…

”… huh?”

he pays no mind to your stupefied expression. continuing, unperturbed, eyeing you with a look you distinctly dislike — as if he’s trying to glimpse into your mind. ”the vase,” he hums. ”you took the blame, even though you didn’t do it.”

a huff escapes you. face hardening, setting into firm lines. ”that wasn't intentional,” you grumble, defensive. ”i just wanted him to leave.” 

but suguru shakes his head. ”you could’ve left when the maid came. but you stayed, and lied, and got yelled at so he wouldn’t have to.” a second passes, silence thick with meaning. intentional on his part, you’re sure. ”is that not what you’d call kind?”

another moment gone, little tick-tocks of your heartbeat counting down. you part your lips, but no sound comes out, as you stumble for words to say. irritation stirring in your veins. or is it nervosity? you think your skin feels a little hot, suddenly. 

just what the hell is happening?

”i’m… i’m not — ” you bite down on your lip. harshly. stammering, voice cracking a bit, to your great dismay. ”… not kind. i hate all of them.”

”but you protect them,” he whispers, ”look after them.” his smile doesn’t waver, never ever, but you’ve never seen it look quite this knowing. and suddenly, he’s closing in on you, gazing at you with laughter in his eyes. 

you try to stand your ground, wanting nothing more than to flee, curl into yourself, scratch at him until he leaves. but your throat feels so dry, all of a sudden, a sensation that only deepens with the next words he breathes into life. 

”a little sweetheart who pretends to be all big and bad…” he eyes you up and down, a meaningful look, raven locks moving as he tilts his head. towering over you. ”is that what you are?”

nothing. no smart reply comes to you. all you can muster is a harsh glare, a low hiss crawling up your throat, like you’re preparing to lunge at him. it serves as a warning, but the amusement in his eyes doesn’t fluctuate. ”you…”

he chuckles. raspy, breathy, a shiver down your spine. ”your acting is even worse than mine.”

”shut up,” you snap, baring your teeth. it comes out almost like a growl, hot and heavy in your veins, and you don’t understand where all this emotion came from. strangling you, bubbling up within your bobbing throat. ”you don’t — understand me, okay?”

no one does. 

and that’s fine. you don’t want them to. 

(you just want him to stop looking you so fondly.)

”not yet,” he admits, eyes fluttering shut. a thoughtful hum on the tip of his tongue. ”… but i think i’m beginning to.” 

he’s looking at you, again, amber and honey and raven lashes, lapping up every hint of a tell in the way you shift from foot to foot. speaking like he knows you, like he’s known you all his life. ”you act difficult — scare everyone away… but deep down, you love them, don’t you?”

a scoff. desperate. ”no.”

”you want to loved,” he continues, not allowing you to flee. relentless in his pursuit of whatever he imagines must be hidden inside your soul, beneath all those layers of frost. ”understood. everyone does.”

”not me.”

”your highness.”

…

the knight continues to look at you, and you avoid his gaze like it could burn you into cinders — like it could turn you into dust. but he parts his lips, anyway, and speaks. so sincere it makes your chest hurt. words that echo through the endless hallways of the castle, against the surfaces of glass that line the walls. words that make your skin flush under the shadows of rain soon to fall.

he smiles, wide, teeth showing. and he speaks. 

”that was very, very kind of you.”

silence. so thick you wonder if you’re about to faint, or fall to the floor, or something equally embarrassing. a sentence so simple shouldn’t be making you feel this way, this weird. you don’t understand why it makes you feel anything, anything at all, and you don’t understand why your eyes suddenly feel a little glassy.

(someone saw through the act.)

”… whatever,” you squeeze out, at last, but it sounds a little meek. a tiny puff of air. turning around, sharply, blinking rapidly to shoo the tears away. ”i just didn’t want to hear that brat whining. it was hurting my ears.” 

suguru bites back a coo.

as he watches your back retreat, hurrying back to the comfort of your room, he’s almost certain that he’s making progress. that your walls are beginning to crumble, slowly but surely, bit by bit. the path before him clears — a thorny, foggy path through the woods, until a sunsplatter falls on the ground and tells him where to plant his feet. 

it’s not much, barely anything, but suguru’s always liked his hunts blindsighted. 

you turn a corner, and he follows suit. sparing a passing glance at the clouds on the boundary of the horizon, the sole ray of sunlight breaking through. and then he’s catching up to you with long strides.

(it’s his duty, yes, but he doesn’t think he’d mind it so much — getting to know his kind, misunderstood little lord.)

sadly, disappointingly, to your great shame — you begin to grow used to suguru’s presence in your life. constant, always close behind, always ready to be of service. as infuriatingly patient as ever. it’s a stretch, but you may have become just the slightest bit fond of it. 

maybe, possibly, you’ve even silently decided to stop trying to scare him away. stop acting so difficult with him, all the time.

or, well — sometimes.

”take me outside, please?” you whine, bottom lip jutting out into a deep pout, accompanied by a flutter of your lashes. 

the voice that spills from your lips is hopelessly meek, pleading, so sweet you’d get cavities if you didn’t know how fake it was. effortless, perfected, your one god-given talent; an irresistible pair of puppy dog eyes. 

suguru answers with a smile, tight-lipped. ”no.”

a beat.

”aw, come on,” you whine, barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet. frustration bubbles up inside your veins, trickling down to your wrist, nails digging into your palm. ”why not? you’re supposed to listen to my every command!”

”still no, sweetheart.”

a series of grumbles scratch at the base of your throat, but suguru pays them no mind. patient, patient, patient. he’s even kind enough to ignore the way you pointedly avoid his gaze after the term of endearment slips past his lips. ”sorry, but that part is non-negotiable. you know i don’t have a choice.”

you do know. but it still makes your mood sour, pulls a sigh from out of your lips. he moves closer, familiar silver tray in hand, dragging a chair to where you’re seated by the windowsill.

”i did bring you this, though,” he gestures towards a particular glass bowl, filled with red berries. they shine like rubies in the light. ”strawberries, like you asked for. wasn’t easy to get a hold of.”

he places the tray right next to you, smiling as he takes a seat. ”cheer up, hm? don’t be so grumpy.”

your pout remains, but you do settle down a bit. just the teeniest, tiniest bit. definitely not because he was kind enough to indulge your cravings.

”… thanks for breakfast.” 

suguru beams, and you avoid his gaze, like always. biting into one of the rubies, the soft murmur of thanks still burning your tongue, soothed by sweet nectar. he lets you flee, lets you continue on like nothing happened, like it isn’t obvious how much you’ve warmed up to his presence. 

”you’re welcome, my lord.”

…

(even after spending more than a month together, he still won’t call you by name. won’t even entertain the idea. why does that bother you so much?)

peacefully, your morning ritual continues. the same as always; you eat, while suguru watches, a sweet smile on his lips. the silence remains until he opts to break it.

today, he sounds a little hesitant.

”say, your highness…” he picks at a piece of lint on his cloak, absentminded. ”could i ask you for a favour?”

you almost drop your fork. gaze snapping up to meet his own, as a few silent seconds tick on by. tick-tock, tick-tock. then you clear your throat, regaining your composure. trying to sound nonchalant. 

”what is it?” you probe, cutting across the yolk on your fried egg. watching the orange seep out, trickling down, sinking into the crust of your toast. suguru hums. 

”a friend of mine — he’s also a knight…” he wrings his hands together, legs parted. tapping his heel on the floor. ”we’ve been sparring together for a while. once a week, at least. but ever since the king hired me, we haven’t been able to.”

you watch as his gaze flickers down to his lap, then up to you again. it’s smooth, charming, but you still think it seems a little out of place. he must not be used to asking for favours.

”i was wondering if you’d be willing to accompany me? just down to the training fields by the castle.” his fingers tap against his bended knee, slow and methodical, from pointer to pinkie. ”the king gave us permission to spar there, but i’m obviously not allowed to let you out of my sight…”

you bite back a huff. obviously. he waits for a response that doesn’t come.

”… so?”

you meet his gaze, expectant. hopeful, maybe. it’s a nice touch — matches with the amber of his eyes.

”would that be alright with you?” he inquires, again. you think he sounds just a tiny bit unsure of himself.

a moment passes. silently, you look down at your lap. folded hands, itching to do something. something fun, new, exciting. 

your tongue forms around a wish. it spills into the air like a shooting star, a meek little whisper. ”… i wanna swing a sword.”

suguru blinks. once, then twice. ”you…” he tastes the words on his tongue, turning the image of you around in his head. ”want to swing a sword?

you nod. glancing at him, coughing a little under your breath. summoning just a bit of audacity, eyes trailing towards the sword by his hip. longingly. ”… i’ll only watch you spar if you let me try it.” 

a brief pause. he studies you intently, a mystery he’s yet to solve.

then he chuckles, light and airy, full of mirth. a sound you’ve grown fond of. ”well, okay. that’s fair.” he rises to his feet, smiling down at you. ”thank you, my lord.”

you don’t respond. but your eyes glitter with excitement, as you dutifully finish your breakfast, wolfing it down. waiting patiently for him to head down to the kitchen with the tray, for him to change into his training gear. 

when he knocks at your door, he’s wearing a flimsy little blouse. almost see-through, if you squint your eyes enough, exposing his bare skin. you think you see a scar curling up from his chest, reaching for his shoulder, just below it by a hair. and you can see his biceps, the fat, the muscle, practically begging to be bitten.

(tantalizing.)

he’s speaking to you, saying something, but you tune him out. focused on trying to restrain your growing urges. when he reaches up to fix his hair, tied up into a bun, the muscle of his arm twitches.

and, suddenly, you can’t contain yourself. 

giving in to the salivating temptation, you grab hold of his bicep, sinking your teeth into it — gentle, but enough that he feels it, enough to leave a set of teeth marks soon to fade. gnawing at it like a dog with a bone.

suguru blinks. pupils wide, quirking a silent brow, quick to smooth over the surprise in his eyes. 

you don’t move. teeth planted against the fabric, the firm muscle beneath it, surprising even yourself; his arm just looked so biteable. you wonder if he’s put off. upset.

but, as always, he’s eerily placating. like nothing you say or do could rock the ship of his patience, an endless sea. smooth, airy laughter flits past his lips, giving way to an indulgent smile. he studies you with fascination, like you’re a creature he hasn’t encountered before.

ever so gently, he grabs hold of your jaw — and the warmth of his touch shocks you into letting it go slack. before you can say anything, he’s rolling up his sleeve. exposing the tender skin.

”go wild, your highness,” he grins, offering his arm up like a lamb to a hungry fox. a teasing mirth in his eyes, his voice coming out as a low purr. ”i don't mind a mark or two.”

to your horror — it flusters you terribly.

you cough. taking a step back, averting your gaze, suddenly disinterested. feigning indifference, anyhow; that was definitely a scar. and a cool one, too. you think you might even have caught a glimpse of a birthmark or two. 

”i’m… just keeping you on your toes,” you stumble for an excuse, still unable to look at him properly. missing the way he stifles a bout of laughter. ”for your training, y’know? gotta stay on your guard.”

”of course. i appreciate the help,” he quips, fond, as he gestures for you to take the lead. ”he’s waiting for us. are you ready?”

for a second, just a second, you consider grabbing his arm. letting him guide you. but the thought is fleeting, like a bundle of peach blossoms, brushed away by the sunshine seeping in through the window’s glass — illuminating the marble flooring. 

a mellow excitement simmers in your bones. 

you head down to the training grounds with a pep in your step, and your loyal knight follows suit. just behind, always, wearing a smile you can’t see.

”suguru!”

the man that greets you with cheerful fervour, seated cross-legged under a peach tree, isn’t quite what you expected him to be. 

when you heard knight, you imagined someone a bit more… intimidating. but this guy is far from imposing. a little shorter than suguru, brown locks stopping right around his ears, exposing his sunkissed skin. freckles scattered across his nose and cheekbones, a happy little grin curled right around his lips. 

he’s cute. a bit like a puppy. not very knightly, though.

”haibara,” suguru greets, a mellow warmth to his voice. the man in question shoots up from the ground, stumbling towards you both, excitement in his hazel eyes. suguru gestures towards you. ”this is the royal heir. the one who doesn’t like having their hand kissed.”

your head whips towards him, an angered flush to your cheeks — you’re almost sure that he’s smirking, giving you a teasing glance, but haibara’s exclamation prevents you from voicing any protests. 

”hi!” he beams, bowing deeply, so sudden that you jolt a bit. his head whips up instantly, brown locks stirred by the breeze, voice warm and smooth. like honeysuckle nectar. ”thank you so much for letting us spar, your highness! i’ve heard so much about you!”

”… um.” your gaze falls down to a pebble on the ground. unsure of how to act, murmuring under your breath. ”you — it’s… no need to thank me. i wanted to get some air, anyway.”

he continues to look at you, eyes shining with a pure kind of cheer. glittering, honeyed and sweet, too bright to look at directly. you hear suguru exhale amusedly to your left. he’s looking right at you when you glance towards him. 

his hand inches closer to his scabbard, fingertips trailing down the leather. ”should we get started?”

haibara brightens even further, if possible. ”oh, right!” he exclaims. ”you wanted to try swinging a sword, your highness? that’s so exciting! is this your first time?”

a blink. you aren’t really sure how to handle this guy; he’s a bit too sunny to be snarky to. like a fuzzy ball of sunshine given human form, bouncing on the balls of his feet, tail practically wagging behind him. all you can muster is a weak cough. ”uh, yeah.”

”well, you’re here to learn.” suguru speaks up. guiding you both towards the center of the field, hand still at the sword on his hip. ”let me show you.”

in one smooth motion, he’s pulling it out of its sheath, a stripe of silver absorbing the rays of the sun. glimmering, slicing the blue sky in half. 

you’re a little awestruck.

and then he’s facing you. leaning forward, with a familiar tilt of his head, offering the blade with a smile. ”do you want to try swinging it around a bit?”

barely containing your excitement, you nod. making grabby hands at it.

that makes him chuckle. he makes no move to stop you when your fingers curl around the hilt, only parting his lips for a quick warning, a split second too late. you take it into your arms. ”careful, it’s a bit —”

— the sword clatters to the ground with a thud.

silence.

haibara breaks out into laughter, sudden, fond and warm, but enough to have your cheeks burning. fresh with embarrassment, humiliation, before you even hear the breathy chuckle that slips from your knight’s lips.

”… i was gonna say it’s a bit heavy,” he hums, closed knuckle in front of his lips and obscuring his smile. ”i’m sorry, my lord. do you —”

”whatever.” a hiss escapes your throat, and suguru winces. he knows where this is going; knows a bundle of thorns just erupted from the stalk of your spine, knows you're about to get defensive. ”like i’d ever want to touch your dusty sword. get — get real.”

he tries again. patient, patient. the familiar tick-tock of his never-ending kindness. ”hey, we aren’t making fun of you,” he soothes, hoping it’ll make your edges soften. like scratching a feral dog behind its ear. ”it’s understandable. you weren’t expecting it. i’ll let you try again, hm?”

a tiny pause. 

(you’re being childish, again.)

brows furrowed, hanging your head, you kick at a pebble on the ground. having collected yourself a bit. ”… maybe next time,” you finally speak, still grumbling. after you’ve spent some time lifting weights in your room.

suguru tilts his head. speaking softly. ”you sure?”

”yeah.” taking a step back, you raise your head to meet his gaze. ”i’ll just watch you. it’s fine.”

”… okay,” he exhales. leaning forward to pick up his sword from the ground. ”i can spar with you next time, if you want. you’ll be a pro in no time.”

he gives you another sweet smile, bangs fluttering with the breeze; painted in cerulean sunshine. he’s so gorgeous it makes you angry.

a sharp huff. ”don’t patronize me,” is all you can mutter, meeting the eyes of the knight by his side. standing up straighter. ”haibara,” you call. ”knock him around a bit for me, okay?”

from the corner of your eye, suguru pouts.

but the puppy-knight only grins, as bright as the sun in the sky. ”you got it, your highness!” he salutes, cheeks flushing with giddy excitement. 

as you sit on the benches a little farther away, dragonflies buzz in the air. fleeting glimmers of chartreuse and cerulean, chirping happily, keeping you company as you watch the knights spar. the clangs of their blades, the elegance in the way suguru moves. a violent little waltz. he’s sweating, just a bit, but you can see it, droplets glittering in the sun. he looks like he’s having fun. 

he looks like himself. like he isn’t holding back, isn’t acting obedient or well-mannered for the sake of pleasing his superiors. like this, here and now, he looks wild, free, a dog that turns into a wolf under the glow of the sun. 

for a second, your eyes meet — just as he narrowly avoids a slash. 

and he smirks, ever so slightly, suddenly gaining a little more momentum. flashing a brief grin, sunlight reflecting off his white teeth. you huff. heat crawling up your neck. 

show off.

”excuse me, your highness?”

the sudden voice snaps you out of your stupor. mesmerized, by the spectacle before you, the glimmer of their blades and the sight of your knight’s smile. it’s an unfamiliar voice, close, close enough that your head turns to meet the stranger’s ugly grin — inching closer still.

(uh oh.)

— just up ahead, lost in their own worlds, are two knights; huffing and smirking and narrowly dodging each other’s strikes. suguru takes the lead, as always, guiding haibara into improving his swordsmanship. but they both learn from it. and it’s fun, lighthearted, a respite from their more gruesome duties. 

it’s helped suguru more times than he can count; those tiny flickers of normalcy, in a wholly unpredictable profession. a life of bowing and bowing and killing what needs to be killed.

slash, slash, and then two steps back. the same old dance. haibara’s starting to lose momentum, he notices, adam’s apple bobbing with his heavy breaths.

so suguru stills. ”alright, that’s enough for now,” he calls, stretching idly. craning his head, looking around him absently. he wonders if you’re still watching. ”i think i see what the problem is.”

haibara perks up, obeying without a word, wiping the sweat off his forehead and walking towards his friend with a sunny smile. ”okay, great!”

but suguru isn’t looking at him, anymore. 

he’s looking towards the benches, where his little lord is seated, speaking to an unfamiliar man. one who currently has his hand on their forearm, caressing it. you look guarded, irritated, a little like you’re about to bare your teeth. trying to pull away, but he doesn’t let you. and suguru recognizes that look — the one that means you’re about to start biting and hissing, inching your claws into whatever’s within reach.

(not to injure, but to ground yourself, he’s learned. like how you clutch onto the fabric of your clothing when you’re nervous, sink your nails into your palm. not to injure, but to feel safe.)

in the blink of an eye, he’s making his way towards you. beckoned by his duty, his natural instinct, a protective itch that curls around his ribcage and crawls up his throat. large strides, much swifter than usual. he moves without thinking, and he’s there before he has the time to form a coherent thought.

with as much gentleness as he can possibly muster, he grabs hold of the stranger’s arm. smiling, tight-lipped, cold. ”excuse me, sir,” he greets, ”i need to borrow them for a moment.”

the man meets his gaze with a sour look. bitter, ugly, oddly possessive — like he thinks he owns the arm he’s holding. it makes suguru want to teach him a lesson, show off his sword, but he resists the temptation in a way you never could. his expression is a warning, though, enough to scare most rowdy drunkards and snobby royals away.

and it works. the stranger looks to you, briefly, before finally letting go of your poor arm. something rigid in suguru’s jaw finally relaxes. ”who are you?” comes a question, as the man turns to face him with a look full of contempt. ”their knight?”

before suguru can say anything, you’ve hopped off the bench. clinging to him, with a firm nod; your arms around his bicep. ”yeah. he is.”

(suguru fails to stifle a smug smile.)

with a string of bitter mumbles and a silent frustration, the man scurries away. hesitant, only after being met with another warning glance from the knight in front of him. intimidating, far less subtle, towering above him like a predator over their prey.

as soon as he’s out of sight, your knight turns to you, scanning your face for signs of discomfort. loyal, attentive. ”are you okay?” he asks, a silent shame in his voice. if only he had noticed sooner. ”did he do anything to you?”

you shake your head. ”it’s fine. probably one of the king’s friends — stops by every now and then.” a sigh, a little fatigued, following your explanation. ”they’re mostly harmless. just creepy and touchy.”

”that doesn’t sound very harmless…” suguru lets you pull away, quick to hide the disappointment that flashes in his eyes as you do, waving haibara off with a silent gesture of give us a minute. ”don’t worry. i’ll keep an eye out, from now on.”

still a little guarded, you nod. letting suguru guide you by the small of your back, taking a seat on the solid bench once more. together, this time. 

”there are a lot of those types around the town square,” he exhales, weary, stretching out his limbs before leaning forward. elbows resting on his bended knees. ”they’re a pain to deal with. i’m sorry you have to.”

”are there?” you ask, tone laced with curiosity. ”in the town?” 

”well, i’m sure you’ve heard. that place is a bit of a mess, these days…” a click of his tongue. ”more work for the knights.”

a dragonfly settles on the bridge of his nose. suguru blinks, smiling gently, until it flutters away with a raspy squeak. fading away, melting into the blue paint of the sky. you bite down on your lip. 

”… i haven’t.”

he turns to look at you. raising a brow.

”i haven’t heard about it at all. the king told you, right?” you meet his eye with a rueful smile, before leaning back, nose turned up towards the sky. for a second, you think the air smells a bit of rain. ”i’m not allowed to go out into town.”

your knight falls silent.

so you continue. grinning, with no humour to it. maybe a bit eager to overshare, to break the silent rules you’ve been given. the secret tastes like honey on your tongue. ”i’m a bastard child. he probably told you that, too.” you wouldn’t be surprised. ”thinks it's optimal for everyone involved if i just stay cooped up in the castle.” 

closing your eyes, your voice drips with something close to longing. barely above a whisper. ”i haven't been to the town in a couple of years, now.”

…

he only hums. ”i see.”

(there’s sympathy, in his amber eyes, but you don’t turn around to see it. you don’t turn to look at him until he’s finished sparring, and haibara’s about to leave. 

you wonder if he’ll meet your gaze the same way as before.) 

— that evening, suguru knocks at your door right as you're about to fall asleep. three rapid knocks, the same as always, knuckle against wood. rousing you from your rest.

when you open it, he’s holding something out towards you.

”here,” he says, voice set to a mellow tilt. upon closer inspection, he’s holding a bottle. transparent, see-through, stuffed to the brim with sea glass. smooth little colourful pebbles, green and blue and pink and orange, like frozen little camellias. ”for you, my lord.”

blinking sluggishly, you take it into your arms; holding it up in front of your eyes. when the light of the moon flitting in through the curtains hits it just right, it blossoms with colour, sparkling with every shade you’ve ever seen. shining like a heap of jewels, in your hands, like something out of a picture-book. magical.

it’s mesmerizing. 

”i asked haibara to get it from the town,” he explains, drinking in your expression of awe. ”this one lady — she collects them herself. i see her by the beach nearly every time i go there.”

when you look up, his smile is serene. peaceful, if just a little bit tired. but he looks pleased, lips curling around silky syllables. ”i thought of you.”

it’s odd, you think. you aren’t a stranger to gifts; you get most of what you desire if you just say the word, an easy way for the king to keep you compliant. as if to make up for the plethora of experiences you’ve missed out on since your birth. and you’ve had more than a couple suitors, men and women, eager to gain your favour. 

but this — this particular gift…

…

”it’s pretty,” you murmur, finally, unable to voice even a sliver of the emotions clogging up your chest. shying away from his gaze, feeling your heart pulse against your ribcage. ”… i guess.”

suguru just smiles. always, always, always. no matter what you do. ”i’ll get you something else next time,” he promises, ready to go back to standing guard outside the castle. ”get some sleep, okay? be good.”

and you can’t bring yourself to protest. not even a tiny huff of don’t tell me what to do. you can’t bring yourself to do anything but nod, soft and pliant, still gazing at the bottle of sea glass in your hands. like you might turn into one of those transparent pebbles, if you wish for it enough.

that night, you dream of waves crashing against sand, the taste of seafoam on your tongue. every colour in the world. a newfound, reawakened wish — a wish to see more of it.

”are you trying to sneak out again?”

owlishly, all you can do is blink. propped up on the windowsill, immersed in the process of tying pillowcases and bedsheets together to form a rope. caught in the act — by none other than suguru, standing by the threshold, hand on his hip, watching you with silent disapproval. you didn’t think he’d come check on you this late.

a gulp. ”… no?”

and he sighs. walking towards you, brows furrowed, running a hand through his raven locks. you can tell he’s trying to be a little more sympathetic, this time, but it only makes the bitter taste on your tongue thicken. 

”look — i know it’s not fair to you, but the king and queen specifically ordered me —”

”i get it,” you cut him off, with a hiss, a little harsher than you meant to. you soften your voice before continuing. "i know. okay? i know.”

resigned, but frustrated, you clench the silken material of the bedsheets. glaring at them like it’s somehow their fault that the queen couldn’t bear an heir, that your father has a knack for sleeping around. like it’s their fault that he’s so ashamed of your existence that he doesn’t want you integrating into society on anything other than his own terms, until he’s dead and gone and doesn’t have to take accountability anymore. 

like it’s their fault that it’ll always be like this, forever, that it’s better not to hope for more.

(why can’t you just accept that?)

the knight before you exhales. troubled, watching your nails dig into the fabric, watching the way you bite down on your lip and rapidly blink. all signs of your frustration, your sadness, that you always try so hard to hide. 

”hey. how about this?” he tries to get your attention, voice soothing enough to coax you into raising your gaze. ”i’ll tell you a story instead.”

he stifles a chuckle, at the dubious look you send his way, teetering on the edge of a glare. slithering towards you. ”i’ve seen a lot of places. i can tell you about them, if you’d like.” he takes a seat right next to you, on the windowsill, a slice of the moon in bare view. ”what do you want to know?”

you’re silent, for a second. gnawing at your bottom lip, in contemplation, the tiniest bit of nervosity. like you aren’t quite sure if you’re allowed to speak your wishes aloud.

”… the woods.”

suguru blinks. a little caught off guard. 

his silence makes you want to bare your fangs, a bit. misinterpreting it as judgement. your voice comes out cold. ”what?”

but he’s quick to smooth over his features with a smile, as always, cocking his head amusedly. ”sorry — i was expecting you to say the sea, or something,” he stifles a chuckle. “it's the woods that you're so curious about?”

you pout. ”… you can see them from here.”

his head turns towards the window’s glass, squinting his eyes to see the sea of dark green in the distance, a cluster of thick trees. he hums. ”yeah, you can. well… that particular spot isn’t too bad. not many bandits or beasts.” your gaze stays glued onto his lips, every word that spills from them. ”there are wolves, though. this side of the kingdom is crawling with them.”

”they sell their fur,” you state.

(that’s one thing you do know. you spent more of your childhood around wolf pelts than your own parents. they might as well be your legal guardians.)

suguru nods. ”they do. it's a big portion of the kingdom’s exports… general market, as well.”

a frown tugs at your lips. you think of your fluffy childhood guardians, unable to howl or even make a sound; hunters turned decorations.

”isn’t that… kinda fucked up?”

he smiles, revealing no emotion. ”do you think it is?”

you only shrug. ”i’m not surprised that they eat us.” you think of all the stories you’ve heard, the fairy tales you grew up with. ”… if i was a wolf, i’d hate humans too.”

”would you, now?” familiar amusement, seeping from his tongue, soft crows’ feet by his cedar eyes. ”good thing you aren’t a wolf, then. we’re lucky.”

”mhm. you’d be my first target.”

that makes him chuckle, a little deeper this time, and you drink in the glimpse you get of his teeth, the fondness that dances across his face when he looks at you. 

a sudden urge overtakes you. 

”… i wanna know about something else.”

”oh?” he tilts his head, soft locks framing his kind eyes. ”and what would that be, my dear?”

”you.”

… 

for a moment, the mask falls. a silent, subtle kind of surprise, something in the way the tips of his fingers twitch that tells you he’s caught off guard. it coaxes you into continuing, following through with your question. swallowing the embarrassment. ”i wanna know more about you. how you became a knight, and… stuff.”

suguru looks at you with a strange glint in his eyes. undecipherable, unspoken, just watching as moonrays glide across your soft skin. ruffling your hair. 

a hum buzzes in his throat. he scratches at the back of his neck, resisting the urge to dodge your question. clicking his tongue. ”… well.”

anticipation blooms in your eyes, and you cross your legs, waiting patiently to hear him speak. he can’t deny you, when you look at him like that — so suguru simply exhales. a breath of indulgence. 

”it’s not a very interesting story,” he leads, closing his eyes in remembrance. ”they scouted me when i was pretty young…. a bit of a troublemaker, honestly, but i got lucky." memories flash behind his eyelids, fresh bruises, sliced fruit. bittersweet. ”ended up around some powerful people. they liked me. knighthood felt like the right choice.” 

he meets your entranced gaze, speaking with sincerity, devotion dipped in honey and holy water. sinking deeper still. ”it’s my purpose in life,” he breathes, a flurry of whispers on his tongue. heavier than either of you know. ”truly.”

you cock your head. ”being a knight?”

”protecting the weak,” he says. recites. like he’s said it a million times before, in the face of beasts, in the reflection of broken mirrors, a mantra to live and die by. ”protecting those who can’t protect themselves.”

the look in his eyes frightens you. deeper than the deepest lake, dark and murky, dragging him down. a devotion that smells of iron, tastes like steel. mania disguised as loyalty.

(knights love duty. almost as much as they love dying for it. that’s what your father always says.)

”but, honestly — this kind of thing isn’t bad,” he breaks you out of your trance, grinning sheepishly, almost boyishly. ”it’s been a while since i had so much fun on the job… thank you for that.”

he’s looking at you, right at you, into your eyes, an expression reserved for you and you alone. terribly earnest, grateful, a sincerity he wouldn’t show anyone else. ”honestly.”

you can do nothing but avert your gaze. swiftly, meekly, feeling heat crawl up your neck, blooming across your cheeks like the branches of a plum tree. suguru grins, gulping down the slightest coo — but he can’t resist the urge to poke fun at you a bit.

”… you’re a shy one, aren’t you?” he searches for your gaze, chuckling when he doesn’t find it. when you don’t let him. ”can’t even look people in the eye if they’re being nice to you… how precious.”

”oh, shut up,” you groan, glaring out into the night sky. blinking slowly, drowsily, biting back a yawn that your attentive knight still manages to notice. 

(he looks a little enamored.)

”ah… is my sweet little lord getting sleepy?”

”no,” you scoff, far too quick. ”i’m… tired.”

”of course.” he reaches out, carefully, to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. ”tired — not sleepy. that would be outrageous, wouldn’t it?” 

a yawn. ”it would.” 

low laughter bubbles up at the base of his throat, like seafoam, melting roses. deep and summery. ”alright. that’s enough stories for tonight, i think.” and with that, he gets up. ”let’s get you to bed, hm?”

rubbing your eyes, absently kicking your legs, you give him a slow nod of your head. making grabby hands at him that you’re sure you’ll be embarrassed about in the morning — but it feels easy, to be greedy, to know that your wants won’t be ignored when you’re with him. ”carry me, suguru.”

an indulgent smile. he doesn’t say anything, only curling his arms under your thighs, lifting you up and cradling you to his chest. you can feel his firm muscles, like this, trace them with your fingertips, hear the beating of his heart. tick-tock, tick-tock. a lullaby. a sense of safety, when you can’t tell where your heartbeat ends and his begins.

lost in that fuzzy, sleepy feeling, a blink away from falling into dreamland, fatigue washes over you — but you cling to his sleeve, even as he tucks you in, dragging the blanket up to cover you properly. 

”suguru,” you murmur, so quiet you doubt he hears it. ”will you tell me more stories tomorrow?”

”of course.” right before sleep coaxes you into its cradle, you feel the weight of his palm on your head; ruffling your hair. ”as many as you want, your highness.”

he smiles, as your eyes flutter shut, at the soft little breaths that flow from your lips. before he slips out, he blows out the candle on the nightstand, a silent prayer that your dreams will be kinder to you than his. 

— one week of nagging later, suguru’s resolve finally crumbles. it’s progress, at last, a tiny crack in his clockwork heart. 

but for once, it works in your favour.

”do you really want to see the outside world that badly?”

he’s got an arm locked around your waist, stopping you from one of your numerous escape attempts. you’ve gotten bolder, sneaking away the moment he takes his eyes off you, but suguru isn’t easy to fool — catching up to you just as you stepped outside the castle, now stuck in place under the portico. it’s to be expected, with that sixth sense of his, the one that seems to alert him as soon as you think the thought to get him in trouble. 

but you still can’t help but pout, huff and puff, pushing at his chest in a helpless attempt to break free. he’s sweet about it, gentle, but entirely unmoving. like a big, annoyingly handsome rock.

”what do you think?” you scoff, narrowing your eyes at him. ”no, of course not. this whole time, i’ve just been trying to escape for fun. like, as a bit. how could you tell?”

he rolls his eyes, and you break out into a grin. ”mind the sarcasm, please.” he barely resists the urge to pinch your side; letting you loose, instead, trusting you not to scurry away. he’d catch up to you instantly, anyhow. "i’m just saying, it might not be as interesting as you think —“

”what are you, stupid?”

”what did we say about letting people finish their sentences?” he raises a brow, and you try not to cower. rolling your eyes, instead. suguru just sighs. ”i understand why you want to leave. but you have a good life, here. better than most.”

”… i know that,” you grumble, biting down on your lip. a resignation in your eyes that your knight can't protect you from. ”i just —”

you sigh. 

”it’s just so suffocating.”

suguru falls into a contemplative silence. weighing his options, studying the flicker of emotions in your eyes, the tapping of your idle fingers. hands eager to fidget with something. 

moments pass, one at a time, a familiar lullaby of pitter patter ricocheting off the ground just outside your vision. the air smells of marigolds, burning wood, wet concrete. the beginnings of summer.

finally, he makes up his mind. 

”okay, okay.”

when you look up from the ground, what awaits you is an outstretched hand. a familiar palm, and a familiar knight, with a familiar smile on his face. ”but don’t get used to it, alright?”

…

you part your lips, but no sound comes out. gaping like a fish out of water, hunting for the right words. suguru waits. patient.

”w — hold on,” you stutter, eyes blooming with hesitant hope, studying him intently for any signs of trickery. ”you mean — seriously? like, for real?”

he shrugs. ”it’s my duty to keep you happy.” devotion clings to his tongue, sweet indulgence. ”figure i can make an exception this once.”

another moment passes.

(there isn’t a hint of deceit in his features.)

a grin breaks out across your lips, like a joyous bolt of lighting, and you lunge into his chest — throwing your arms over his broad shoulders, jumping up and down, planting a wet kiss against his cheek. bubbly, giddy, heart racing with disbelief. you don’t even have it in you to be bratty. ”thank you, thank you, thank you!”

suguru makes a choked out noise, a little comical, breath hitching in the back of his throat. stabilizing you with a palm on the small of your back, patting it softly, once or twice, before retracting his arm and pulling away. clearing his throat. ”… you’re welcome.”

(his ears burn a cherry red.)

”but this is our little secret,” he reminds you, firmly, collecting himself. or trying to. ”got it?”

”yep.”

”if anyone asks, you —”

”yep, yep, understood.” you brush him off, still grinning brightly. ”don’t worry! i won’t tell a soul, i promise. swear on my mother’s grave!”

your knight exhales. worried, maybe, a little exasperated — mostly just trying to mask how infectious your joy is. how addicted he is to it, now that he’s seen it up close. he’s only caught glimpses in the midst of your painting sessions; to see it directed at him instead of the wolf on your canvas is a treasure he won’t soon forget. 

sneakily, stealthily, like a pair of bad dogs, the two of you begin your journey to the woods on the horizon. wearing cloaks, sticking together, until the sun begins to set and the sky drains of colour. 

and before you know it, it’s right there in front of you. a narrow path into the woods, a cluster of trees, a world you’ve always dreamed of. dark and gritty, beautiful, brimming with bugs and sights yet to be seen. creatures you could only ever see in picture books. a dreamlike world that takes shape before you, like paint splattered on a canvas, as you follow suguru’s lead — right behind him, clinging to the fabric of his cloak, excitement flooding your veins. heart thumping erratically in your chest. 

when you’ve made it to a tiny clearing, you stop in your tracks. suguru’s holding a lantern, a flicker of orange in the dark green world before you, attracting fuzzy moths. proud trees stand tall all around you, keeping guard, mushrooms and forget me nots scattered across the dewy patches of grass. keeping them company. 

everything smells of life, earth, oak wood and thinly veiled secrets. you want to live here forever.

suguru turns to look at you, noticing the way you’ve stilled. completely mesmerized, bewitched, eyes gleaming with childlike happiness. he tuts, doing a bad job at hiding how pleased he is. the sound makes you meet his eye.

”careful,” he croons, inching closer. fingertips ghosting over your wrist, right above your pulsepoint. ”could be wolves around. stay close.”

you tilt your head, feigning confusion. ”i’ve already got one right next to me, though?”

the comment earns you a flat expression, unimpressed, and it pulls a giggle from out your throat. the corners of suguru’s lips curl up, unwillingly, as he shakes his head; exhaling a tired breath. exasperated. 

then he hums. ”well, at least you're aware.”

suddenly, he’s walking forward, slipping away, cold air replacing the buzzing warmth of his skin on yours. hot blood, ever flowing, hidden within his veins — pumped out from his heavy heart. it’s there and then it’s gone. tick, tock, one step after the other, until he’s turning around to face you again. unfurling his outstretched hand, waiting for you to grab hold of it. 

his long hair sways with the breeze, smooth and unburdened, black like the night sky above you. a starry glint in his eyes. his voice comes out deep, a raspy lilt, like the scraping of metal against concrete. 

when he smiles, you think you catch a glimpse of sharp teeth.

”will you trust this wolf to keep you safe?”

under the web of shadows cast by the trees, barely illuminated by the shivering moon, all you can do is watch him. his gleaming eyes, the curl of a toothy grin on his lips. a knight, a wolf, a friend.

your protector. 

finally, finally, you grasp onto his offered hand. his fingers intertwine with your own, a puzzle finally solved, and his palm feels a little calloused. skin littered with tiny scars, years of training and killing, but it’s still somehow so soft. nice and smooth. 

he’s warm. and now he’s smiling at you, like you put all the gold of the world into his palm. 

”yeah,” you grin, a little cheeky. stepping closer, clinging to him without restraint, knowing he’ll indulge you. ”keep me safe, wolfie.”

his laughter rings out into the air like a cicada song, sweet and nostalgic. or a howl, maybe. it makes you want to gnaw at his bones; memorize his taste, so you’ll never quite be without him. it’s not your fault he looks so chewable when he’s smiling like that.

”i will,” he promises, vows, pledges, hand on his heavy heart. knights and their rituals. ”you don’t have to worry about a thing. not while i’m here.”

and you don’t. you know you don’t. because suguru is the greatest knight, the coolest wolf, and his clockwork heart never ceases to tick. it won’t break under pressure, no matter how much you push — so you don’t bother holding back. wrapping both arms around his bicep, cozying up to him, tugging at his cloak with a pep in your step. 

”c’mon, c’mon!" you beckon him forward. "i wanna see how everything looks up close.”

and he just lets you manhandle him, for a bit. following your lead. ”of course,” he croons. ”your wish is my command, your highness.”

the night stretches on, seemingly never-ending, like the branches of the oak tree you find in the heart of the woods. broken, beautiful, stretching out in all directions — as if wishing to engulf the world. a garden of forking paths, covered in jagged bark, but still somehow so warm to the touch. you’re sure there’s a heartbeat in there, somewhere. maybe a couple of swords too.

all good things must come to an end. but you refuse to leave the comfort of your mossy haven until suguru promises to bring you back, someday, maybe, if you play nice. it’s a deal that you’re willing to take.

only then do you begin your journey back towards the castle. having gotten your fill, for now, left to wallow in the newfound sights etched into your memory. still clinging to your knight like a child with their favorite doll, babbling into his ear about something or another. about how you’re almost sure you saw a wolf in the bushes, about how pretty the cicadas’ songs were. how you’re gonna convince him to take you there every single day.

the sun is yawning, stretching its endless limbs out, getting ready to rise and envelop the world. the sky is a calm blue, soon to be painted orange and pink, but you aren’t tired at all. you must sound a little incoherent, but suguru nods along to your every word. listening attentively.

so kind. so patient. sure, he’s a tease, and more than a little patronizing — but you don’t think you’ve ever liked anyone this much before. it’s weird. it’s fun. 

(you wonder if he feels the same.)

”hey, suguru?”

he keeps his eyes locked on the road ahead, but still spares you a brief glance, just to let you know you have his full attention. a second of hesitance is all your sleepy brain allows you, curiosity enveloping most of your functioning thoughts.

”would you… i mean. if i was, like… a different person —” you pause. suguru quirks a brow, and you suddenly feel a little flustered. ”um, what i mean is! like, if the king ordered you to be someone else’s knight… would you protect them like you do with me?”

he blinks. once, then twice, meeting your hopeful gaze. stifling a yawn, and parting his lips. 

”obviously.”

…

your face falls. lips dropping down into a soft pout, rich with disappointment, paired with a barely audible huff. suguru furrows his brows, playfully, smiling in the way he always does when he’s about to tease you.

”ah, my bad,” he croons. ”were you expecting something else? a… forbidden romance, perhaps?”

before you can begin to protest, warmth rushing to your cheeks, he stops walking. dropping down on one knee, dramatically, with a flutter of his cloak. theatrical. 

gently, he grabs hold of your hand, bringing it to his lips as his eyes flutter shut. you bite back a squeak. his voice comes out low, sultry, honeyed — so heavy with emotion that it’s obvious he’s faking it. ”the only person i yearn to protect is you, my liege,” his breath feels hot against your skin. ”i could never love another. i exist for you, and you alone.” 

suddenly, he’s smirking. you feel it against the knots of your knuckle, right before he cracks a single eye open. glimmering with deep amusement. ”… is that better?”

and you huff. sharply, doing all that you can to avoid getting flustered, his heavy gaze burning right into your own. it really, really doesn’t work. ”you’re so mean.”

”not mean,” he chuckles, rising to his feet. dusting off his cloak. ”i’m just… managing your expectations, my lord. they’d have my head on the chopping block if i so much as touched you without their consent — you know that.”

another little huff. ”i never said i wanted you to…” 

(you do, though.)

suguru hums. ”i’m your knight,” he reminds you, as always, until you get tired of hearing it. steadfast, irrefutable. ”that’s all. remember?”

something bitter settles on your tongue. 

but you nod. ”that’s right,” you hum. ”mine.”

a teasing mirth flickers through his eyes, like the first setting sunrays reflecting off cathedral glass. reverent, dyeing the world in all the colour it asks for. and he chuckles, raspy, amused. ”possessive little thing…”

that’s right, you remind yourself. he’s your knight. your lying, teasing, playwright of a knight. always wearing a mask, hiding behind a suit of armor, playing one role or another. only baring himself under the light of the sun, when no one is around to see. he’s infuriatingly patient, endlessly loyal, the greatest bootlicker you’ve encountered in your life. but he’s kind, too. maybe a little too kind. 

and he always, always kneels. 

such a large man, all toned muscle and tall stature, broad shoulders and a firm chest — kneeling at your feet. like a loyal dog. with a rustle of armor, a flutter of fabric, a sigh and a smile. as soon as you ask for it.

”c’mon. let’s hurry back,” you hear him say, biting back another yawn. ”before anyone finds out i kidnapped you. don’t want me to get in trouble, do you?”

”i kinda do.”

a silent look. unimpressed. it’s the most sincere expression he knows how to make, and also the most comical. ”careful,” he looks ahead, hiding his amused smile. ”wolves eat bratty heirs, you know? better stay on my good side, your highness.”

a bout of sleepy giggles. you curl an arm around his bicep, putting your weight onto him, but he doesn’t stumble. ”sorry, mr wolf! please, by all means, eat my dear father instead.”

”don’t be disrespectful.”

”sorry,” you quip, entirely unapologetic. ”i forgot you had a crush on him. that’s my ba — ow!”

suguru brushes by you, walking forward, hiding his growing grin. leaving you with an ache in your hip and two wide eyes. 

”hurry up, my lord. we don’t have all day.”

”wha — you pinched me!” you stumble after him, barely containing your quiet delight. ”they’ll have your head for this, you know!”

silent laughter. you don’t need to hear it to know that it’s there, just ahead of you, tucked into crows’ feet and a curl of his lips.

suguru always kneels.

but, sometimes, he talks to you as if you’re equals. sometimes he takes the lead, pinches your hip, tells you off a little. teasing, patient, but there’s an edge to him that he doesn’t always hide. sometimes, he lets you see it, and you figure that must make you at least a little bit special.

sometimes, he feels like your best friend.

careless, careless, careless.

how could he ever be so careless?

everything blurs into a puddle of red. murky, sticky, everywhere all at once. all he sees is red, all he feels is burning. his heartbeat pulses at the base of his throat, bottom lip bruised and aching from hours of sinking his teeth into the flesh, over and over — every single nerve of his body running on adrenaline and nothing else.

(adrenaline and fear, maybe, but they’ve always been synonymous. never one without the other.)

the slaughter is mindless. suguru knows that’s how they like it, anyhow — knights aren’t supposed to think. they don’t need to. 

suguru certainly isn’t. cutting his way through the bandit’s den, practically growling, sword painted such a dark shade of red that he doubts he’ll ever be able to wipe it clean. harsh slashes, pure instinct, wildfire inside his veins, iron on his tongue. 

suguru isn’t thinking, he’s hunting. sniffing like a bloodhound. eyes scanning the area before him like a hungry beast.

suguru is hunting — for you.

and when he sees you, at last, tied up and barely conscious, he’s almost certain he’s going to grow claws, fangs, matted fur. that he’s going to turn into a beast beneath the fading moonlight.

but he falls to his knees, instead, like a wounded dog. throwing his burganet off, with a clatter, crawling closer. heaving breaths, untying you with shaky hands, greedy fingertips hunting for a pulsepoint —

and only when he finds it does he allow himself the luxury of breathing again.

when you come to, veins dragged down by a fuzzy sensation, your vision is blurred. foggy, dull colours on the canvas of your mind, gradually washed away as you struggle for control. you stir, and finally see the figure above you. 

what you see is a knight, a wolf, a beast beneath the moonlight. a kind, kind man.

suguru.

bloodied armor. sweaty, messy hair, sticking to his forehead. pure panic in his bloodshot eyes. he cradles your face, cold metal on your cheek, dirty and smelling of iron. he moves his mouth; you delude yourself into thinking that his bottom lip is trembling. forming around familiar vowels.

he’s saying your name.

there must be something wrong with you, you belatedly realize. the last one to do so. because you’re hurt, scared, but you still feel a skip of your heartbeat. 

(he finally said it.)

you muster all the strength at your disposal, eyelids fluttering. and you try to answer, you do, reaching for that thread between your brain and your tongue — but it comes out as a garbled little thing, more air than noise. 

it’s enough. the tense crease between his brows melts away, and he sighs.

”oh, thank the heavens.”

another sensation. he’s touching your hand, now, cold metal on warm skin, bringing it up to his lips; a shaky little exhale brushing against the knots of your knuckle. his lips are chapped. 

then he’s scooping you up, cradling you close, as close as metaphysically possible, as if willing to cut his stomach open to fit you inside. a firm grip, comforting, stable. desperate, a mother wolf carrying her cub to safety, by the skin of her teeth. his hair tickles your skin, but you don’t mind.

only when he brings you back to the castle does everything fall into place. he explains everything, as you sit in bed, still recovering. a sudden attack, from within the castle, a kidnapping. some enemies of the king, a scandal to do with you and your blood. something, something, something. you’ve grown used to not understanding why you keep getting hurt. and you’re too distracted by the sullen face of the knight in front of you to pay attention.

suguru wasn’t there to stop it — wasn’t there to save you, be your knight in dashing armor. the king had invited him to a game of chess, and you had been adamant in your refusal to join them.

so you don’t understand why he’s apologizing.

he’s smiling, but it’s weak, as flimsy as a piece of paper. his lying smile, tight-lipped, betrayed by the redness of his eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. dark crescents. he sits by your bedside and looks a little like he wants to curl into a ball. 

”i’m sorry.”

and ah, you think; there it is. guilt. always, always clinging to him, a ghost haunting him wherever he goes. it’s been there since the beginning, in the scar reaching for his shoulder, the nature of his never-fading smile. guilt, guilt, guilt. you wonder if he's ever gone without it. you wonder if knights begin to crumble when they stop feeling ashamed. 

he looks sad.

with a breathless inhale, you part your lips. you want to tell him that he has nothing to apologize for, that you’re fine now — that you could never be mad at him. not really, never truly, never at him. you want to tell him that he’s your favorite person, not just your favorite knight, that he’s allowed to make mistakes without demanding that he suffer for them. 

you want to tell him that it’s okay, really. seriously.

but all that leaves your lips is a meek little sniffle. as the shock of it all finally settles, sinking deep into your bones, the fear of being captured, the dull ache of your skull meeting the ground. you can’t tell him any of the things you want to, and you feel so awful — 

because suguru’s face falls. like you just thrust a knife into his sternum and twisted it. he looks like he could cry, too.

”i’m sorry,” his voice cracks, right down the middle. like a broken vase. ”i’m so sorry.” it’s not at all what you want to hear, but you can’t tell him that either. he’s bundling you up before you know it, dragging you into the comfort of his chest, one large palm on the back of your head; tugging you closer still. he smells of soap and oak wood and peach blossoms. ”it was scary, wasn’t it?”

and you nod. into his neck, wet tears brushing against his skin. not stable enough to act tough. you don’t think he is, either.

suguru exhales, shaky, clutching you like he could lose you if he lets go. lose himself. he knows you’re scared, but you let him soothe you. it means something, he thinks. it means something that you let him come so close, closer than anyone’s ever been. so he swallows the guilt until it’s no longer clogging up the back of his throat, if only so his voice can flow out through the gap, give you the comfort you need. just rubbing your back until you calm down, apologizing silently — over and over again. manic, like the tick-tock of a clock.

until your voice breaks him out of it.

”it’s not your fault.”

he stiffens. still holding you, feeling your heartbeat settle down, hearing your voice break out of your throat. it comes out as a weak croak, with just the slightest hint of disapproval.

he gulps.

”don’t worry about me, right now,” he hushes you. a silent plea. ”i’m not the one who’s injured.”

”suguru —” you sigh, almost a hiss. ”i hit my head. once. that’s all.” you wipe away the wetness of your cheeks, biting back a sniffle. ”… you’re acting like i’m fucking dying. cut it out.”

(for once, he’s relieved to hear that sharp edge of your voice. it means you’re feeling better.)

a weak inhale. ”… they kidnapped you. it must’ve been terrifying. please, just…” and a tired exhale. ”please just don’t strain yourself.”

”it wasn’t your fault.”

…

”your highne —”

”i’m serious.” you’re pulling away, suddenly, clasping onto his cheeks with your tearstained palms. squishing his face together. ”it wasn’t your fault. it was mine.”

he shakes his head, eager to protest, so you squish his cheeks with more force, and shake his head for him. like a misbehaving dog. ”nope. if you even think about apologizing, i’ll start crying again.”

he lets out a huff. frowning, sadly, a downcast pair of eyes.

”don’t pout. i’ll bite you.”

it’s slight, barely even there at all — but you think the corner of his mouth twitches upwards, just by a hair, exhaling through his nose with just the slightest hint of amusement.

he places his palm over yours. 

a moment passes, slow and steady, both of you catching your breaths. calming down, letting the fear of it all seep out of your aching bones. you hope the warmth of your skin against his soothes him as much as it soothes you. 

”… you know, your highness,” he murmurs, softly. meeting your puffy eyes with his tired pools of amber gold. ”there’s something i never told you.”

you blink. he continues.

”just the night before the king reached out to me… i had a dream.” he musters a weak, exhausted little smile. ”dreams… i don’t have them very often. and when i do, they’re nothing good. but this dream…” 

his eyes flutter shut. a curtain closing, a raven taking flight, the tick-tock of a heartbeat. you can’t look away. ”it stuck out to me.”

silence.

your voice comes out soft, like the bedsheets beneath you, the man before you. a tiny breath of a question. ”… what was it about?”

he smiles. smoothing a thumb over your knuckle, reverent, as if memorizing every ridge and dip.

”a fox.”

…

”it had…” his hand slips from the small of your back, reaching for your cheek, pinching it gently. ”a cheeky smile.”

your skin heats up, beneath his touch. and you blink, not saying a word, because there isn’t any need to. all the words you could ever want have already been painted out.

(well, maybe not quite all.)

”suguru.” you lean close, just a little, drinking him in. and he listens, as always, so you don’t bother beating around the bush. swallowing any embarrassment your tired mind can still feel. because your knight is right in front of you, eyes still red from crying, and you want him to be happy. “i think you’re my favorite person.”

he stills.

then he’s burning up. 

”wha — where did that come from?” he stammers, a strawberry hue to his ears, his neck, the tips of his fingers. enveloping him like a blanket of warmth.

you only shrug. ”you told me the truth. figured i should return the favour, for once.” a giddy, exhausted smile. “we’re both awful liars, huh?”

suguru opens his mouth. then he closes it, again, desperate to collect himself. you think he must be a little too exhausted to, and you wish you could say you felt bad. ”you… you can’t just —”

he squeezes his eyes shut. sighing. giving up, the gears of his mind grinding to a halt. your grin blooms wider.

”hehe.” you poke at his flushed cheek, and he cracks a single eye open. ”you’re blushing.”

he huffs, leaning away from your touch, and you find yourself enjoying the reversal of your usual roles. very much so. he tries to smile, tries to get one up on you, but he only blushes a deeper shade of red once your words reach his ears. 

so he settles for using cheap tricks.

”you’re hallucinating,” he scoffs, shoving your head into the fluffy pillows all around you. ever so gently, listening to your muffled giggles. trying to stifle his own joy. ”go back to sleep.”

”my blushy knight,” you coo, and he drags the blanket over your head. biting down on his lip to stop himself from joining your bubbly laughter, blushing more than ever. 

(the word knight sounds very pretty, when it’s falling from your lips.)

”i swear,” he exhales, heavy and exasperated, but you can hear the smile in his voice. ”just what am i to do with you?”

it’s fond. delicate, even in his bouts of teasing, the light instances of manhandling. and you’re happy, because he’s not apologizing anymore, and he’s happy because you aren’t crying anymore. give and take. there’s a rhythm to it, a point where everything else becomes background noise, whether it’s memories of a kidnapping or a decade-old guilt.

he stays with you all night, even after you’ve fallen asleep. just watching you, safeguarding you, checking your pulse every now and then. content to watch as your chest rises and falls, with the tender ticking of your heartbeat.

that night, you dream of a kind, kind wolf, and a painting yet to be finished. 

before you lies a field of stars.

you’re seated on a blanket, with a pretty knight to your left, up on top of a grassy hill. daffodils bloom around you, sweet nectar hanging in the air, a field of sunflowers waving at you from below. dragonflies greet you with a scratchy song. 

everything is perfect. a midnight rendezvous, a picnic under the stars — suguru’s own idea. to celebrate the time that you’ve spent together.

(well, that part was your idea. but you’re sure he appreciates it, too.)

the basket next to you is filled with fruit and berries, marmalade and jam, bottles of herbal tea. suguru’s delicious sandwiches. you bite into one of them, humming happily, and he’s quick to brush the occasional crumb from the corner of your lip, ghosting over your skin with a smile.

there’s another basket, too, just in front of you, that you brought on your own. hiding a secret; one you're just about to unveil. 

you clear your throat to get his attention.

like clockwork, he’s looking at you. listening, when  you tell him to close his eyes, only giving you a questioning raise of his brow and an amused exhale. 

you’re quick to lean forward, uncovering the basket, revealing the secret you’ve hidden so well. suguru is still waiting, indulgent, patient. you feel a little hesitant, but still part your lips.

“… okay. you can open them, now.”

he does. instantly, two ravens taking flight, and the sight that awaits them is that of a painting; a painting of a wolf, in the middle of the woods, empty armors and wilted sunflowers all around it. dragonflies and dragonflies, a knight just out of view.

he stares, silently, and you do your best to hide your growing nervosity. even as he takes it into his lap, and your gaze falls to the blanket below you. ”it’s… not my best work, but —” his eyes stay glued onto the painting, as you stumble blindly for the right words to say. wringing your hands together, clutching at the fabric of your sleeves. ”i’d… like you to have it. i mean, unless you —”

”thank you.”

you raise your head.

suguru is gazing at the canvas with the softest pair of eyes you’ve ever seen. melting amber, crinkled at the edges, accompanied by a sweet grin. 

”i’ll treasure it,” he vows, meeting your eyes, voice dripping with warmth. hand on his heart, and you can’t even poke fun at it. ”always.”

his earnest acceptance is enough to fluster you, enough to make you feel as it your heart is about to collapse, but he continues to look at the painting with enough awe to fill an empty lake with water, and it makes you terribly shy. 

until his smile drops.

”uh, actually — i…”

now it’s your turn to stare, silently, as he fumbles with something in the basket at his feet. gentle, as he takes out glass jars and wrapped sandwiches. out comes a sheet of paper. 

then he’s clearing his throat. handing it to you, pointedly avoiding your gaze. ”i’m not an artist, so you know. i just…” he coughs, a little out of his element. “well. here.”

with delicate hands, you accept it, bringing it down to your lap. big, curious eyes taking it in.

it’s a sketch — made with coal, a little smudged, but awfully charming. pretty, delicate.

it’s a sketch of a fox.

wide-eyed, all you can do is stare. gaze flitting up to meet his own, his nervous expression, before falling back to the little canine. ”you — this…” back and forth, over and over again. ”for — ?” 

you point to yourself. 

suguru only chuckles. ”yes, it’s for you. who else?” he taps the pads of his fingers against the handle of the basket, watching you silently admire the mischievous fox. not saying anything; so he continues.

”like i said; i’m not an artist. you can always throw it away, if you’d —”

”i’m gonna frame it.”

…

”i'm gonna frame it,” you repeat, eyes shining with sincerity. a little manic. ”i’ll hang it on the wall of the castle hallway so everyone can see it. it’ll be there for centuries to come, passed down —”

”please don't —”

”d’you think a gold frame would fuck up the vibe? maybe a modest silver is best.” you turn to face him, ignoring his blatant embarrassment. ”oooh, hang on! father knows this guy who makes them with real minerals. i’ll just —”

”your highness,” the knight cuts you off, almost with a squeak. ”please. it’s just a dumb drawing. i just… wanted to give it to you. that’s all.”

a pause. you look into his eyes, flickering with hesitance, an earnest desire for your approval only. so you hum, albeit a little hesitant.

”… alright. if you say so. i’ll hang it in my room, then.”

he sighs; relieved. ”that’s better. really, you —”

”thank you.” you whisper, blinking away the wetness at your lash-line. staring at the sketch with a dreamy, dreamy smile. ”i love it.”

you grin, happily, practically beaming. suguru wants to keep it there, always, on those pretty lips; he wants to lay his life on the line to protect it. but something tells him that would just make it fall. 

finally, everything clicks into place. the air fills with the scent of herbal tea, fresh strawberries, acrylic paint and hushed whispers. your own ritual, repeated over and over, like a loving waltz. 

as always, it’s suguru who breaks the silence. shatters it with the tip of his tongue. 

”hey,” he calls, softly. “my lord.”

mouth full of bread, you simply look at him. chewing silently, attention piqued. swallowing with a gulp. he places his folded hands on his lap, exhaling a little breath. ”… i’ve been thinking.”

”uh oh.”

silently, he gives you one of those flat, unimpressed looks of his, and you quiet down with a grin and another mouthful of bread. he quirks a brow, exhaling amusedly, then shakes his head and continues.

”i retract my earlier statement.”

when you glance up again, he’s smiling. showing more teeth than usual, a little wider, a little wolfish. a little more himself. you want to paint it, keep it hidden away somewhere only you can see.

”if it was someone else — anyone else…” he trails off, tasting the words on his tongue. “i doubt i’d feel this way. i doubt i’d want to protect them as fervently.” his voice flows out like a river of gold, just a little scratchy. it always is, when it sounds this sincere. 

he meets your eyes, and everything falls into place. 

”you’ve become precious to me,” he admits. ”i can't remember what it felt like to not be yours.”

his tongue curls around a familiar set of syllables, and your name seeps from his lips like a prayer, a vow, a trickle of honey and wine. devotion sticks to his tongue, to the vowels, a heavy fondness — something devout. something you've only ever heard from the mouths of priests.

and then he’s smiling. 

”i think i’ll be your knight until the day i die,” he breathes, and deep down you know it’s a vow. “even if the king discards me of that title.”

silence. except for an increasingly loud mantra of tick-tocks, from the depths of your own chest, echoing in your ears. your knight is in front of you, and he’s yours, and he’s smiling like he loves you. like he always will.

”… suguru.”

he hums, eyes lidded, blinking slowly. serenely. he lets you cling to him, pull him close, practically dragging him into your lap.

”stay with me,” you plead, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. too desperate to feel embarrassed. ”forever. promise me.”

an exhale, right by your ear. it sounds so fond you could cry. 

“i promise,” he whispers, fingers intertwining with your own. a perfect puzzle piece, a functional clockwork. lifting your hand, bringing his glossy lips to your knuckle; where they belong. ”until death tears me away from you.”

”it won’t,” you deadpan, partly to distract him from the growing heat of your fingertips. mostly because it’s true. ”you won't let it.”

he smiles against your knuckle, breathing out an airy laugh. ”clever little thing…” his free hand goes to rest on your spine, as always, and you lean back to see him properly. knowing he’ll catch you if you fall.

“.. but yeah," he sighs. "i won’t.”

before you know it, you’re leaning back in. because his eyes are the warmest shade of brown you’ve ever seen, and his hair is just a little tousled, and he looks so kissable it aches.

his jaw trembles, a little, when you press your lips against the curve of it. his whole body seems to still, for a moment, and you pull back just to see if he’s blushing. he is. 

but he must have anticipated your teasing, because he’s tucking you under his chin before you can see it through. pressing you close. and he tuts, a click of his silver tongue. ”… you little tease,” comes a whisper. ”how am i supposed to hold back now?”

”don’t hold back, dummy,” you grin, muffled against the column of his throat. you just barely resist the urge to sink your teeth into the skin. ”you’re a bad actor, anyway. the worst.”

and he is. he’s been looking at your lips this whole time — he couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.

suguru laughs, breathy, overflowing with fondness. chest rumbling with the noise, blending together with the rhythmic thumping of his clockwork heart. ”okay,” comes a soft lull of his tongue. ”i won’t, then.”

a drowsy feeling overtakes you, just as you feel his lips meet the crown of your head. it’s not much, but it’s a start. and it’s tender, tender enough to get you choked up, to get you to close your eyes to stop any tears from forming. because one person in this kingdom understands you, and he tells you that he’ll never leave. and you think you can actually find it in you to believe him. 

one person’s clockwork heart never breaks for you, and maybe that’s enough to convince you to stop trying to push it there.

”you can sleep, if you’d like,” is whispered against your hair. soft, soothing, his palm on your spine. ”i’ve got you. always.”

(one person in this world can make you feel safe, with just four little words. and isn’t that something?)

so you doze off, on the shoulder of your very own knight. your favorite knight, always and forever, a sword at his hip that was forged to protect you. or so he’ll tell you, years from now, when he’s got you in his lap, when there isn’t any need for him to act anymore.

and you dream a perfect dream. a dream of a wolf, and a fox, and a garden of stars.

[jils-things]

haii :D out of curiousity if irene was a canon survivor what other skins would she have? which of the survivors (or even hunters if she has a connection to them) would she match with? O:

HELLO!!!! EEEEEE IDV QUESTIONS MY BELOVED YEYSYEYWES TY FOR COMING 💚💚💚💚 im gonna answer the lore related question first and then answer the skin question behind readmore (its very long. i like Talking.)

OKAAAAY so so ngl... i actually thought that having nort.on, irene, na.ib and emma in one manor game group is really plausible cuz they're part of my fo list (and are very much included in lore) but omg i cant handle the heartbreak naur i don't wANT THEM TO FIGHT AJWKWKENDJSJSKS🥹🥹🥹 TO BE HONEST... i can kinda see her being associated with the da ca.po group (nor.ton, me.lly, orp.heus, alice and frederick) because irene actually is connected to nor.ton and orp.heus (she does not like him). and i think the drama would be so fuckin insane here lets be real

in that same train of thought - i think that would mean she would also have to fare off against foo.ls gold and nightmare (MORE DRAMA) and that is gonna be so fucking sick . also they look like this to me i don't care (ignore the ship mention wkwkwkwkwkw) LMFAOOAOWUSHRK

ok so, irene's skins are meant to match with nort.ons skins and like 90% of my artwork consists of just them in those costumes tbh HAHAHA BUT ID BE HAPPY TO SHOWCASE THEM HERE EEEE

so i don't really care about her skins being classified as a tier, b tier etc etc, dont matter as long as shes matchy matchy with him HEHEHE

let's go off with my most recent art of it:

1) this is eidolon! she is paired with soul catcher. she's a half alive (undead?) and half dead (ghost). she appears alive in the daylight and appears dead in the nighttime :3 the drawing in the middle is my best depiction of both mixed!

2) I don't have a name for this (help me /hj), but this is meant to pair with his troubadour skin! this to me is their peak of "good life" era :3 (together and married)

3) again i dont have a good name for this either EKWKEKEKEJ but this one's meant for an alternative universe called the constantine siblings au where irene and naib are adoptive siblings (and uses the spring hand skin) and she is also paired with mr. mole! (emma also appears here, in her boudoir dream skin)

4) this one's a current work in progress but this one's meant for ronal.d of nice! ive currently settled on calling her "dame of gold", its not final but its a decent placeholder name :]

5) lastly, this one's definitely a c tier kinda skin and its meant to match his cordierite skin. fun fact, this color scheme of hers was actually her original color palette but i changed it to green and made this an alt skin~ i named it royal blue!

and that's it! i plan to do more in the future (like black tulip, cornerstone and maybe some outfits based off merchandise hehe)

BUT YE!!! THIS TOOK AWHILE TO ANSWER BUT I REALLY APPRECIATE THE CURIOSITY AHHH 💚💚💚💚

[dave-of-cyscara]

adi is adi in every universe. why change them they're awesome /silly

QUEERPLATNONIC CHAVIERO MY BABIES <33 AND HEAVENBLOSSOM I HAD SO MUCH GIGGLES WHILE WRITING THEM and the matching dolls EEEE glad you loved them

DOMESTIC CYSCARA IIS CANON(in this au) RAHHHHHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!

the "good friend" joke from kaenu was based on when they first met kaenu (from babysitting sakura. heavenblossom are always with each other) and cyscara were like. deep in denial (like in canon) so they just introduced each other as 'good friends' and now the joke will never die

IMM GLAD YOU LVOE IT EEEEE <33 might write more individual drabbles of these guys in the future cause this is literally the "everyone wins except the asshole assholes" au

/mega ramble

if you do write more please please send them this way <3