#// In RL news I also had to help with the last plans for my sisters' wedding in september; so I have a bit more breathing room to recharge

[deitiesofduat]

Swings by with another stray tumblr update! Something I finished months ago in May -- this art of Bastet was meant to be something 'quick' (lol--) to practice the style I used for my Artfight 2024 Attacks. But I also drew it because the kitty goddess had been overdue for more up-to-date artwork to use for her profiles.

I’m currently more active on my Bluesky account, and updating the project site gradually. In fact, I’ve just finished archiving the first 100 askbox responses there, with more on the way for those feeling nostalgic. Otherwise, I’ll continue to update the project blog on tumblr when I can, thank you all for sticking around!

DEITIES Website: deitiesofduat.com

Bastet’s Profile: deitiesofduat.com/portfolio/bastet

[a-student-out-of-time]

Connections Review Part 1

Happy 2021 everyone! Well…the year’s off to a terrible start due to how bad last year was but I hope that most of 2021 will be good and not be 2020 Part 2: Electric Boogaloo. But enough of that, another arc ended, another review due. Now I am quite conscious of length here and I’ll try to make these reviews a bit easier to read, it will still be split into 3 parts as there I can cover the main themes which are; Time Travel, Harems and Maverick ‘Motherfucker Hellspawn’ Storm. My initial plan was to have a quick lightening recap of everything that doesn’t fit into these categories and then review the Time Travelling and Harems but Storm became so big he needed his own part. Oh, and it should go without saying, but I will not cover the Mistletoe Asks. They are not relevant to the arc and are basically shipping fluff. No in-depth analysis required there. And with that said and done, let’s get right into it.

Its Recap time

So, as I mentioned before we get into the 3 big themes of this arc, I’ll cover really quick, and I promise it will be really quick here, anything that doesn’t fit into those categories. So firstly, we see that Kazuichi went around the Void Warehouse and helped fix their lights. Now that all of Class 77-B are aware of Void’s existence, they can help out with any problems they might have in their living quarters, which leads to a funny scene of Kazuichi getting attacked by a crow. This could be random but given what has happened with another seemly random event (more on that later) and the fact that Monocrow exists, this could be sinister foreshadowing for things yet to come. We also see Kazuichi getting ideas to build a robot with Chihiro as that’s his way of romance. Given Chihiro’s crossdressing tendencies, I wonder when the truth comes out and how confused our shark boy would be. But yeah, Kazuichi out all of the new Class 77-B members seems to have the most focus in this arc, not that I’m complaining as he was the most ‘pointless’ survivor from DR2 so him getting actual character development and focus I’m more then welcome for! There’s also Yoruko rekindling her relationship with her mentor Minako. This went better than expected then again it happened years ago, both Yoruko and Minako had time to reflect on it and both wanted to make up, but thought the other wouldn’t accept it. We also see some parallels here with Hiroko from UDG as Kizuna is revealed to be the result of a teenage pregnancy. As I mentioned in an ask, not to bog you down with personal details but teenage pregnancy is a serious problem where I live and too many people I know fucked as teens, didn’t use protection, and boom! Babies! Good thing I have a passion for Danganronpa so I DON’T get wrapped up in that kind of stuff eh? So, I completely understand Minako’s rational here, and Kizuna’s more troublesome behaviour as one of my RL friends was also the result of a teen pregnancy, and this led to her having…issues. And yeah, Kizuna shamelessly flirts with the Anons and talks about Josuke, no not THAT Josuke, simping hard for her. Naturally we have bigger problems to content with but once the weather calms down, we need to sort out Kizuna, especially now that Yoruko and Minako have made up. And that’s the two things that happened which weren’t relevant to the main themes. Now they are out of the way, time to move onto Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Stuff. Hey, Emma made a Doctor Who joke already, so it’s okay!

Back to the Visions

Despite Time Travel being one of the main themes of this blog, not a lot of research has gone into it at the moment, so in this wind down time, it’s the perfect time for Umeko to do some experiments into time travel. Last Arc dropped the reveal that Mikako has being getting dreams of the future, and as Koroko and Umeko pull up at the Kisurugi household, we see that Mikako just had a dream of the Tragedy, which understandably horrified her. Because of this Umeko and Koroko were forced to tell Mikako, Yamato and his father the truth about the future. They omitted Kasugano and him changing the timelines as its not needed but well…when one dreams of an apocalyptic future you know is coming, there’s no sense in lying about it. Umeko then explains about the time travel and basically that since the brain surgery, Mikako’s brain has become a tachyon receiver that can pick up tachyon from different timelines, not just the one you are on. But it goes beyond being able to see the future via her dreams as if Mikako focuses, and someone touches Mikako during this time, they are hit with a vision of the future that involves them. The first vision was with Koroko and she caught a glimpse into a future much more distant then the 2017 that Hajime, Yoruko, Sora and the other 2 time travellers came from, as it seems to be from the Year 2020-2022 so pretty close to our time then. Here Koroko and Kanata, who not only went through a growth spurt like Hiyoko (Poor Hibiki, she is forever going to be the short one) and has married Nagito, are giving vaccinations to a young girl named Sayuri Hinata. Sayuri herself is very familiar to some people as during the last Arc when Akane was trying to comfort Nikei, one Anon asked about a timeline where she and Ayame had a child. This was a reference to Nextgenronpa which is a Nextgen AU on Instagram created by Mikwithnoando, if you happen to have an Instagram account, I highly recommend reading it, it’s really good! The character in question is called Sayuri Otonokoji the Ultimate Sculptor and in Nextgenronpa she’s the child of Hibiki and Iroha. Koroko looking through her medical records noticed her mother’s name is Hibiki Hinata so Hibiki obviously changed her last name, makes sense as she wants to probably be as far away from Otonokoji as possible now but no mention of the father and yes Sayuri looks a lot like Iroha. This has a few possibilities.

The first theory is that Sayuri is Hibiki and Hajime’s child, but both are very busy. Hibiki would have very likely restarted her musical career around this time and we don’t know what Hajime would be doing but he would be very busy as well, and thus not a lot of time to raise Sayuri. Now Iroha would have a very sedimentary lifestyle and given she is looking after Jataro at the moment, this would probably make Iroha one of the more experienced caretakers/mothers of the cast, so maybe Sayuri was often babysat by Iroha, and if Sayuri was spending a lot of time with Iroha at a young age, she would start to view Iroha as a second mother and start copying her behaviour and mannerisms. But that doesn’t evade the fact that Sayuri PHYSICALLY looks like Iroha as well. The second theory is something happens to Hibiki or Hajime and they are unable to reproduce but want kids. With Kyoji, making kids would not be an issue, but a surrogate mother would be required and maybe Iroha volunteered to be a surrogate. However, the big issue there is that Iroha is much younger than the Goodbye Despair cast, and as Mikan later points out legally, you need to be 21 to be eligible. Sayuri looking to be 8-10 years old means Hibiki and Hajime must have banged around now-2014 and Iroha won’t turn 21 until 2017 and Sayuri looks way older than 3-5 years old. But there is one more theory and the one I believe in. Just because Mikako can see the future, doesn’t mean it’s the timeline we are currently on, and you guys remember that awful, awful period during Oncoming Storm when Iroha was crushing on Hajime and wanted to join the Cuddle Puddle despite there being a significant age gap between him and Iroha? In our timeline, Yoruko was able to slap some sense into Hajime, he was able to see he was developing a Saviour’s complex and was able to grow and develop, and it also system shocked Iroha as well as she learnt that she needed to grow up as well. But what if that didn’t happen? I think that timeline is from one when the sense slapping didn’t happen and Iroha did wind up being part of the Cuddle Puddle, and Sayuri was the result of science from Kyoji and Iroha and Hibiki wanting kids. In addition to this we also see Kotoko in her teen years and she looks brilliant all grown up and the way she talked about ‘our mothers’ and Sayuri referring to Kotoko as a big sister, makes one believe that Mikan is successful in adopting Kotoko. Overall, while Sayuri is going to be a headache to decode, that future was nice and sweet, even if it gave Mikako mild seizures.

After Mikako recovered, Yamato wanted to see the future as well, and thus we get the second vision which is from the OG Timeline in 2014, as it shows some Class 79 tomfoolery with Haruhiko ‘testing’ Yamato’s jetpack and crashing into a tree, and Teruya being concerned for his bro. I know its 2014 because Class 79 was formed then and they didn’t bond for long before Utsuro showed up with an army of Monokumas and was like ‘Knock knock, it’s the upupupu train’ and we get the Proto Killing Game. At least Yamato gets to see his future friends for the first time. And Mikako doesn’t get that much of a headache this time so it seems that the further in time she looks, the bigger the side effects. The first vision was a decade into the future so the side effects were quite big but the second one was only a couple of years so the effects were reduced.  It remains uncertain if Mikako has to trust the person in question for the vision link to be done because as much of a force of good this seer ability is, it can also be used for evil. Overall, lots of discoveries on Mikako’s abilities and some hope that not every future out there is filled with despair and there exists a timeline where the Quantum Crew do win. Now it’s a case of seeing if that’s the timeline they are on or not.

That summarizes part 1 with the recapping of minor details and the time travelling science! It’s a longer part then I wanted but with the recap at the beginning it cannot be helped. When we come back, I’ll talk about the Harems and the events surrounding them and hopefully that would be the new length I wish to aim for because this is more of my old length. Stay tuned people! - Review Anon

[all1e23]

Swallow [Pt.10]

Chapter: Half Gone

Pairings: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky learns you’ve been hiding some things and makes a decision that will change everyone’s future.

Warnings:  Adulty themes. Yes, I’m a grown-up, and I said adulty themes. General foreboding. Sweet, soft, protective Bucky. (Yes, that’s a warning. That could kill you!) Protective big brother Clint.

A/N:   The first half is a flashback from Bucky’s pov. It’s after the flashback from chapter 4, so this is right after they broke up and before she left town. Three more parts loves! My plan is to finish up chapter 11 tomorrow and get the last few chapters posted by Tuesday. We will see though. You know how it goes with RL and all. Also, remember you love me and I make you guys happy with Astrophile, okay??? Send me love because I’m needy.  No beta so read at your own risk. ;-)

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam though! Thanks!*

5 years ago 

The morning brought a new onslaught of pain Bucky wasn’t equipped to handle in his dejected state. He spent the night in a fit of restless sleep. Every time he succeeded in dozing off, he was cursed with visions of you, the only part of his heart that’s worth a damn, walking out of the clubhouse and his life. In the hours he spent awake, praying it was all a terrible nightmare, he was drowning in her broken pleas begging him to leave and love her more than this God-forsaken club.

A deep pulsing ache was pounding in his head as he slowly sat up. The pain in his head and empty bottles on the floor of his room were there to remind him this was no nightmare, but the cool metal of her ring against his skin burned -- the added weight was unwelcome, and he wished he didn't have to bear it. she had given him everything she had, and he shoved it back in her face all because he was scared. Scared to leave the club, this town and scared that part of the reason she loved him was who was because of this club. 

Stupid? Maybe, but it haunted him regardless. 

He didn’t know how to be anything else other than this. All he’s ever been was this club, Bucky didn’t have a plan or goals or anything close to the dreams you had. His only dreams are filled with loving you, and the part of him that made a promise to your dad was glad you wanted to end things. Your love was toxic and bad and all things... good and right in his shitty life. He couldn’t let you go, not yet. He was going to fight for you until you told him not to. 

6:04 a.m. 

The alarm clocked glared back at him, regarding him with enough judgment to make Bucky hate the damn thing. It just stared at him, waiting for him to make a move. 6:05 a.m. You would likely still be asleep, but he couldn’t wait. He needed to tell you he loved you and how utterly stupid he was. He needed to feel your hands on his skin and have your lips on his or he wouldn’t make it to see tomorrow. He had to find you and fix this-- right now. 

Bucky jumped off his bed, kicking the empty bottles around his floor as he gathered clothes that were thrown about and his bag. A black shirt, his leather and a pair of jeans he found crumbled in the corner of the room, he didn’t have time to worry about his choice in fashion. He had to make things right, and he had to do it now because he couldn’t live this life without you. 

Steve slowly stood up as Bucky came barreling down the stairs. “Buck? We’ve got chapel in a few hours. Where are you going?” 

“You’re gonna have to run it without me. I’ve got somewhere I gotta be, Stevie.” 

~

“I guess I should have known you would show up sooner or later. How was your night, Buck?” Clint greeted the brunet in the doorway to his house, obviously refusing to let Bucky passed the threshold. 

“Hey, Clint.” Bucky blew out a breath and chuckled at the uncomfortable strain between them. He should have known this wouldn’t be easy when he had to get through Clint. “This is awkward. I need to talk to Y/n. I know she probably told you what happened, but you know how much I love her. I was an idiot, and I know I shouldn’t have said anything that I did last night I just--- I need her, Clint, you know? I love her, and I’d like to say sorry if she lets me.” 

Clint’s tough act faltered just enough that allowed the door to open fully -- still blocked Bucky’s path, but he could at least see into the house. He might be mad at Bucky, but he was no fool. Anyone with eyes could see how much Bucky loved his sister, his love had never been in question -- at least not to Clint. 

But it doesn’t mean, Clint had to like it. 

“I don’t know what happened last night. She wouldn’t tell me but, yeah, you were a fucking idiot from what I could get out of her,” Clint shook his head and let his arm drop -- along with the protective big brother performance. “ She’s not here Bucky.” 

Dread washed over him. There were plenty of people who would love to hurt her because of who he was, and he may have driven her right into their arms. He pushed the panic down and took a deep breath, and asked, “Okay, well, where did she go? I’ll bring her ass home and get it all sorted out.” 

Clint’s eyes grew dark, and Bucky didn’t have to be a genius to know Clint was about to deck him. Natasha walked up and put a hand on Clint’s shoulder, tugging him back into the house and out of the way before continuing in his place. “No, James. She’s gone. She loaded up her jeep around four this morning and left. I don’t know where she went, but she promised she would call me when she got there safely.” 

“Wait --” Bucky couldn’t breathe.  “She’s gone?” His vision had gone blurry. “Like gone for good? She just grabbed her things and left without a goodbye…” 

The beating in his chest had stopped, and he knew this was it. He always knew this day would come, he’s always known you were too good for him, and he’s never been foolish enough to think he deserved your love, but he didn’t think it would happen like this. 

He thought he would at least get the chance to say goodbye. 

“I think she thought you two already had your goodbye.” 

Natasha has never seen Bucky look quite like this before. He looked vulnerable, abandoned, and broken. A new scar was added to the mangled mess he called his heart, and he could pinpoint the second it tore his chest open. Natasha took a step forward to grab his hand, intent on making him come inside, she doesn’t like the idea of him driving when it looked as if he had just been torn apart and shoddily patched back together. 

“Why don’t you come in and I'll--” 

Bucky shook his head and stumbled back down the stairs. “I can’t stay Tash. I gotta -- I have to go.” 

Bucky floundered on inept feet back to his motorcycle regarding the black duffle bag on the back with thoughtless, senseless hope. It was stupid of him to think he could simply show up and say sorry; tell you how much he loved you, he made a mistake, and he’s ready to go whenever you wanted to go. You’ve waited long enough and he was stupid to think you would still be waiting after every terrible thing he’s done to shatter your heart.

Too little, too late, Barnes. 

The front door to the clubhouse flies open, and Bucky stomped through, heading straight for Steve. He slapped his hand to his chest, pressing something against the rough leather. Their eyes met for a brief uncertain moment before he was gone, he grabbed a few bottles from behind the bar, ignoring every nervous stare and uneasy glance. Steve looked down in his hand and ran a finger over the president’s patch. Gaping up at Bucky from his bar stool, there were frayed pieces of string and leather where the patch once stood over Bucky’s heart. 

Nothing was there now, it was empty and tattered -- just like him. 

“What the hell is this Buck?”

He shrugged, uncaring and unthinkingly. “I’m done. It’s your club.” 

Bucky pushed through Sam and Steve, blew right by Tony and little Peter, taking the stairs two at a time. Ending the questions and the stares with a final slam of that echoed through the club. 

Steve looked over at Sam. “What the hell just happened?” 

“I think you just got a promotion.”  

~

“Steven…” 

“Peggy, I’m not going to let him drink himself to death. He's acting like an idiot. I can’t run this club without him, and I don’t want to. He can’t just waste away because she’s gone.” 

“He's not an idiot. He’s brokenhearted. Put us in their shoes, darling. Where would you be if you lost me, hm? Nowhere good, I think we can agree on that. Be gentle.” She pressed a kiss to his cheek and left him alone in front of Bucky’s door. They had to navigate this on their own -- like brothers. 

Steve doesn’t knock. He has spent days and days knocking on his door every hour on the hour, then at random times to check-in. Bucky never answered anyway. Steve pushed the door open and winced at the mayhem before him. The room was dark, covered in trash and beer bottles, but the mess didn’t end there. Bucky sat perched on an old wooden stool by the window, dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep or the booze -- Steve isn’t sure, but both needed to stop. He was still wearing the same dirty jeans he had on the last time Steve saw him and that damn chain he refused to take off. At least he took off the filthy shirt he seemed to be so fond of lately. 

Steve couldn’t recognize the man in front of him, and he never wanted to see his best friend like this again; only he couldn’t fix it -- he wasn’t the one Bucky needed. 

“Come on, Buck. We’ve got some stuff we gotta deal with. Why don’t you get dressed and come down?” 

Bucky didn’t answer. He took another drag of his cigarette and flicked it out the window as smoke fell from his lips. He wasn’t interested in anything that had to do with the club. His patch was gone, and he had a good reason for passing it on. He was done the moment you asked him to be-- just too stupid to make the right choice.

“I need you and so does the club.” Steve implored him. “I want to help. I don’t know how.” 

“There’s nothing you can do Steve. Y/n’s gone. I’ve got no idea where she went, no way to contact her, and even if I did, she wants nothing to do with me. No one can do anything to help me. Least of all this damn club.” 

“Well, you can’t just hide away in here and live on stale chips and whiskey.” 

Bucky finally turned to face Steve, his eyes were dark and nothing like the blue they were when they were kids. “Did you not hear me? I fucked up. She’s gone!” Bucky bellowed. “What the hell do you want from me? What am I supposed to do, huh?” 

Bottles clattered together as Steve pushed his way through the room and dropped into a low squat in front of Bucky, holding out something small and black in his hand. Bucky inspected the piece of material in Steve’s hand, staring at the white letters glaring at him in stark contrast to their black background: Vice President. 

“For starters, you’re going to get up, shower and get some food in you. Give your niece and nephew a few cuddles, and you’re going to put the damn vice president patch on your leather because this is your club, not mine and you need to be at the table with me. I can’t do this without you. Then you’re going to wait.” 

Bucky took the patch from Steve’s hands and looked down at him, brows furrowed and a dark scowl on his face, “Wait? Wait for what Steve?” He sighed and gave Bucky a fond albeit exasperated smile, the kind you save for your clueless, slightly reckless sibling when you have to save their necks once again. 

“Y/n, Buck. She will come back. Somewhere in that bourbon filled head of yours, you know that; she will come back to you. She always does.” 

--------

“Okay, are one of you going to tell me what the hell is going on in here?” Bucky crossed his arms over his chest watching Steve and Tony with half amusement and half fear -- the fear was beginning to win out.  Something wasn’t right, and he was worried Y/n was in trouble. His only peace of mind was Clint not being in the room. If she was in danger, there was no way Steve would leave Clint out this talk. 

They would never hear the end of it if they did. 

“Buck,” Steve started, switching from foot to foot as his brain worked out the possibilities of Bucky knocking him out the second the words left of his lips. There was a decent chance that was how this whole thing would play out. Bucky would tolerate a lot from Steve, more than anyone else, but calling the love of his life the possible rat was not one of the things Bucky would offer a reprieve for. 

Bucky swore under his breath and looked between Tony and Steve. Their uneasy expressions made his heart sink. “For Christ's sake. Did they threaten her life? What? I’m about to lose my mind over here.” 

Steve blew out a breath and passed over the pile of photographs that Tony had collected. “Eddie is a detective. He’s been passing information back about things he’s seen and details about the inner workings of the club. He didn’t get much since he was never brought into chapel or fully initiated, but he probably has enough to put a few of us away for bullshit petty crimes.” 

Bucky flipped through the photos slowly as Steve went on. He knew Eddie was trouble from the moment he stepped into the club -- he could feel it. If it had been Bucky’s call, he would have tossed him out on his ass right then, but he gave up say in those decisions a long time ago. He flipped to the middle of the stack and froze at the grainy black and white photo before him, letting the rest of the images fall to the floor. His gaze was glued to the swallow on the thin computer paper in his hands.

That wasn’t right, but it was her. Bucky knows every line of that tattoo and every single inch of her skin, terrible resolution or not -- that was his girl. 

“What the hell is this?” Bucky asked, looking up at Steve. 

“Buck, listen--” 

A hollow laugh bubbled up from his chest as Bucky tried to control his temper, he stepped towards Steve holding out the picture and spoke again. “What. The. Hell. Is this?” Tony stiffened up next to Steve as if he needed to protect the club president from some threat -- Bucky being the threat. Bucky turned to look at Tony and snapped. “Seriously, Tony? What are you going to do?” 

“Kind of depends on what you do.” 

“Just for shits let’s see what you got--” 

Steve groaned and held his hands out against their chests, pushing them apart, scolding the pair.  “Are you both done? Get it all out of your system? Because we have bigger issues to deal with besides your egos.”

Tony held up his hands and stepped up back, but Bucky didn’t back down -- not that Steve expected him to. 

“You know she’s not the rat. Whoever talked to Eddie, if anyone even did talk, knew things she doesn’t know about. The things Eddie has on the club happened while she was gone, so how the hell could it be her?” 

“I know, Buck,” Steve answered calmly because he needed Bucky calm for what he was about to ask. “But we need to figure out why she’s meeting with him in secret and keeping it from you. Would she make a deal to save Clint?”

“No!”

“Fine. Okay. Would she make a deal to save you?” 

That Bucky couldn't answer. 

You wouldn’t sell him out, and he knew that, but would you make a deal to keep him out of prison? To keep him there with you even if it was for only a little longer? He couldn’t answer out loud because his heart knew the answer. Your hearts were one and the same, so he knew precisely what you would do -- the same thing he would. He would trade his life for yours without a second thought, he would do whatever he had to keep you safe, and Bucky doesn’t doubt you’ve done the same. 

But he wouldn’t admit that to the club, and as much as he hated it, Steve was the club. 

The double doors swung open with a clumsy dramatic flair that could only belong to Clint. They slammed shut behind him, and some of the tension seemed to have found an escape while the doors were open, leaving room for a new strain to fill up the air around them. Steve looked past Bucky to meet Clint’s eyes.

“Not now Clint. This-- we are in the middle of something.” 

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I know what you’re talking about. Thanks for letting me know you’re in here talking shit about my sister by the way,” Clint added with an air of annoyance. He handed the over wrinkled card to Bucky, not Steve. He had his reasons, and all of them had to do with keeping his family safe. “Y/n gave it to me. It’s not whatever you are thinking.” 

“And what do you think I’m thinking Clint?” Steve prodded evenly, not allowing Clint to goad him into a petty fight -- everyone was upset, and fighting wasn’t going to solve anything. 

Bucky flattened the card in his hand and stared at the words printed on the small piece of white cardstock. He already knew what Clint was going to say before he said it and Bucky knew what he had to do to make all this go away.

“I’m not sure, but unless you think she’s completely faultless in this, you’re fucking wrong. Eddie threatened her with jail time, Steve. The dick said if she didn’t testify against you and Buck, he had enough to send the rest of us to prison, myself included. She didn’t know what to do.” 

Bucky felt sick -- everything burned and his stomach twisted into knots. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

After everything you’ve been through together you didn’t know you could come to him with anything? He was racking his brain to try and figure out what he had done over the years to make you feel like you couldn’t come to him when you were scared. He really thought you knew how deeply his love burned for you and how far he would go to keep you safe. He had to get away from all this. Bucky couldn’t stand to be in that room, in the God damn clubhouse for a second longer. 

The picture Steve had given him was thrown onto the table, and Bucky stalked towards the doors, crumbling the card in his hand; he had someone to visit. Steve’s voice and boots called after him, “Bucky, where are you going?” 

“Out, Steve.” 

“Bucky--” 

He paused at the doors and looked over his shoulder at his best friend. “I gotta cool off, Steve. Just give me some damn space, okay?” 

Steve paused and gave him a small nod. 

“Okay, Buck.”

Bucky nodded, quick and tremulous. His fumbling fingers zipped his leather up, and he tucked your ring under the protective layer as he stormed out of the room. Clint clapped his hands together and looked at Steve and Tony, “Way to go. Who had the bright idea to talk to Bucky first and not me? He’s punch first and talk later when it comes to Y/n.” 

“Right, because you’re always so level-headed?” Steve countered, gently shoved Clint out of the double doors and looked back at Tony nodding to the photos. “Keep all that in the safe. I need to talk to Y/n.” 

Clint huffed and shook his head. “Not without me around, you’re not.” 

“What do you think I’m going to do her? She’s practically my sister--” 

“Yeah, well, she’s actually my sister.” Clint’s growl was cut short by the sound of Bucky’s bike starting up in the garage. 

“Is Bucky leaving?” Everyone spun around to you find standing at the bottom of the stairs, eyes wide and pleading with them. Begging for what, Steve didn’t know, but he could take a few guesses.

The sound of the motor grew quiet the further Bucky got from the front doors, and dust clouds could be seen from the windows as his bike sped down the dirt road that led up to the clubhouse. You glanced at Clint and Steve. Steve knew you could tell by the look of disappointment on his face-- even though he was trying to hide it. Your eyes quickly fell to the floor, and within seconds you felt an arm come around your shoulders, you figured it was Clint, but when you looked back up it wasn’t your brother. 

Steve smiled and gave your shoulder a squeeze. “Come see the kids. Henry and Emma were babies the last time you saw them, and you haven’t met Morgan yet. She’s a mini Tony, but it turns out all that sass is cute when it’s coming from her.” 

“Steve… What-- Is he…” 

“He just needed a minute to cool off that’s all Y/n. I’m sure he will be back before you can blink. Buck can’t be away from you for long, and you know that.” 

Bucky only needed a minute to cool off, and he would be back. It sounded all well and good -- so perfect you could wrap a bow on it.  Steve was good at that. He has always been better at that than Bucky. Bucky wears too much of his heart on his sleeve, and it made his anxiety and doubt easy to spot. Steve was good at that kind of talk; the rousing speech that made the crowd feel better, smarter or stronger and led to the belief it would all be okay as long as everyone stuck together and did what was right. 

This time, his words didn’t seem to carry the same weight they usually did. 

Your heart knew better.    

Previous // Next 

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pureblood 14 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

Words: 2,576

Warnings: Violence/ Torture

Masterlist: 

Chapter 13 // Chapter 15

‘Dear Remus:

The Christmas party wasn't as disastrous as I thought it would be, but it wasn't much fun either. I hope you’ve had something better.

Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you is the progress of the plan:

Regulus and Jenna heard my father talked about a minister who will marry us as soon as we graduate, he’s supposed to be a great friend of the family, although I never met him. The ceremony will be different from that of my older brothers. The men talked about a future change in the wizarding world. May have to do with what happened to me in the summer, I still don’t know the details, but the fact is that they’re in a hurry to get us married and unite the families.

The women talked about a huge dance where only the most important families are invited. I thought that with the Christmas party, all the presentations would end, but I was wrong. Jenna heard that even the Potters are invited.

I don't know which news makes me more nervous.

It's all we could get, I don't know what it can do, but I'm confident you can come up with something huge and cool– by the way, did you like the gift I sent you? I was planning to go buy that book myself in a Muggle town near my home, but I had to send the house elf, I hope you like it.

Merry Christmas, Wolfie.

P.S x

 I put the letter in an envelope, walk to the window where Lif is, Jane and Apollo’s owl, I give her a snack and I give her the letter.

"With the Lupins, little Lif…” I pat her head and she flies off.

I decide to take a shower and change into a simple blue shirt and jeans. I leave my room and hear voices from the stairs.

"Enough Isis!"

"Who is Remus, my dear Juno?" Isis and Juno are at each end of the table. Juno looks furious, her face is red, unlike our older sister who has a huge smile. "Is anyone in love? You mention it too much in your journal…”

She says holding up a black notebook.

Wait a minute.

"Remus?" I ask drawing his attention. Juno bites her lip.

“It's not what it seems! It’s not Remus, Isis shouldn’t read my diary!”

"Did someone say Diary?" Balder comes to my side. Isis shares a look with our brother and throws the notebook at him, who catches him in the air and runs to the living room, Juno and Isis follow him and since I want to know what happens, I also run.

"I can't talk to him, I just can't, is too embarrassing," Balder recites in a high-pitched voice making us laugh. “What does Persephone have? I am much smarter than her– and interesting. I don’t get it!”

I turn to Juno and my smile disappears when I notice her watery eyes, and how she hugs herself.

"Hey, Bal, come on, that's private,” My brother ignores me and continues reading. "Balder!" My voice surprises him and he sees me raising an eyebrow. "I said enough is enough.”

"And what’ll you do about it, little sister?"

Suddenly the four of us are running around the house. Isis and Balder throw the notebook at each other while Juno and I try to catch up with them. And to our bad luck, they take advantage of coming of age to cast the spawn spell just as we’re about to catch them.

But after a moment I manage to jump on Balder's back and we both struggled to get the notebook. I pull his hair and he complains.

"You're a damn bloody monkey, Persephone!"

"Return the diary or I'll bite you, Ape,” I stretch and finally take the notebook, but I don't have time to celebrate since Balder loses his balance and we both fall to the ground.

Isis and Juno see us and the last one lets out a sigh of relief when she sees me with her diary. The tense moment is replaced by Balder's laughs, then followed by the girls, including me. Balder and I carefully get off the ground.

The laughter continues until I feel something go down my nose, I touch that part and my fingers are bloody. “Oh, great.”

"Classic, Persephone’s always the one who gets hurt," Isis snorts.

"Oh, this is my time to get in," says Jane walking towards us with a small briefcase in hand. "I heard laughter, I knew you would need my help," She gestures with her hand and guides me to a dining room chair. I sit down and she faces me, opens the briefcase and begins to heal my nose.

Isis and Balder start a conversation as if nothing had happened and go towards the living room, while Juno approaches us.

“Oh, yeah." I lift the notebook without looking at her as Jane takes my chin to wipe away the blood.

Juno takes it and hugs it against her chest. I thought that would be it and she would leave, but she just stands there. Jane and I share a look.

"Are you hurt, honey?" The blonde asks.

"Oh no... I just–" She watches me and suddenly her cheeks flush. Now I understand. I giggle.

"So do you like Remus?" I raise my eyebrows and Jane stops touching my face.

“Who's Remus?" Jane asks and Juno bites her lip.

"It's nobody. Please don't tell him,” She begs me and I laugh.

If I’m honest, thinking about Juno and Remus… I don't like that idea.

The last time I had a conversation with her, it was not kind at all, also, I don’t want Remus to be close to my disastrous family, he already has enough with me.

"I won't tell him, take it easy,” She nods and leaves.

Jane puts a little bandaid on my nose.

"Done, just be careful next time.”

"If there’s a next one, it’ll be worse, I assure you. Isis is right, whenever we play I get hurt– I broke my arm once and was only on the swings! Apollo and Balder decided it’d be a good idea to help me swing very high,” We both laugh.

"Can I ask you something?" She says.

“Sure?”

"You know that Remus guy,” I nod. "It's not to criticize you or tell you what to do, but don't you think it’d be good to help Juno with the boy?"

“No,” She raises her eyebrows.

"Just like that?”

“Yes," I think she expects something more. I roll my eyes. “Juno's not Remus’ type, they wouldn’t be a good couple.”

“Why're you so sure?" I sigh.

"Listen, I don't know what impression you have of Juno, here she’s always more serious and quiet, but at Hogwarts she’s different, everything worsened since... the accident in the summer." She shifts in her chair, obviously Apollo told her what happened.

“I don't know what’s going on in Juno's mind, I just know that they’re not good things and I’m not going to let those things happen to Remus. He’s…” I think about it for a few seconds and smile. “He’s become a good friend of mine and because of that, I want to protect him.”

"But Juno’s your sister?”

“All the more reason, I’m going to protect him from my own family. He doesn't need any more problems, Jane.” She finally sighs.

"Well, I'm not going to get into your business," I nod and suddenly she smiles. "Do you know who’s excited?" She lifts her blouse to expose her belly. “He's been kicking since he heard you.”

"Yes, this is scaring me, Jane," She laughs.

"If you don't come for your gifts, I'll keep them to myself!" I hear Isis scream. I don't wait any longer and run towards the huge Christmas tree where all the presents are.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After life's most awkward family reunion, in which it seemed like I didn't exist, they finally let me go back to my room with my Christmas presents. I sit down on the floor in front of my bed and put them close to me.

The first is Regulus' gift, a beautiful necklace, apparently gold, I smile. The next one was from Remus, which I open with a lot of emotion, it’s a red notebook, really nice, I open it and I find a note on the first page.

‘Here you can write our progress with the classes... or you can use it as a journal, you can do whatever you want, but I wrote what we’ve done in the last weeks, I hope you like it.

RL.’

I keep going and laugh when I find his notes, warnings and some muggle jokes, obviously explained. He’s really sweet, I can see the details and the dedication he had in doing it.

The following gifts are from relatives, with some notes to wish me luck with my marriage, some people I don’t even know –I’m sure they only want to get a place at the wedding. I roll my eyes. The last one I open is a small navy blue box, I open it and I find a pretty simple necklace along with a circular charm. I check it everywhere, but there’s no note. I don't give it much thought, but I decide to put it around my neck.

“Persephone," a thick voice scares me, I look up meeting my father at the door frame. I shrink into my place.

"Y-Yes?" I can't help but stutter.

"I think it's time to talk, come with me,” He doesn't wait for an answer and leaves my room. I get up and follow him.

We both head to his study. Upon entering, he locks the door, then walks to his desk and leans in front of it.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I see the room, I remember that I was always afraid to come here, so I told my dad that he should always have the curtains open, so that more light could come in, which he did. But now the entire room is dark except for the center, which is lit by the dim light of three candles.

My hands sweat and tremble uncontrollably, I can hear my heartbeat. He just watches me quietly for a few minutes.

"You should know that your marriage to Sirius is not a punishment for what happened a few months ago," for the first time since I returned I dare to look him directly in the eye.

"That's not true," I say in a weak voice. I clear my throat. "If it wasn't one, you would’ve made the news next year or even when I was in seventh grade, why now?"

"Dear Persephone, it's not all about you,” I raise my eyebrows at his words. A smile appears on his face, but it’s not the same as when he knows of some mischief of mine. That look, those gestures he makes when he is doing business, when he knows that the other person has no way out.

"Isn't my wedding about me?" I say louder in a moment of bravery. "You don't have to lie– No, wait, you already did that.” He raises an eyebrow.

“It's the only way to unite the Black and Singh families."

"I have better ideas.” Shut up, please.

"Your wedding is not the end of the world,” He says raising his voice.

"It is for me. You're going to ruin my life and Sirius's. We both want to choose whether we want to do it or not,” He laughs now.

"Do you think I had a choice with your mother, nor did the Blacks have it?"

“That's no excuse for us not having a choice.”

"You don't understand anything, silly girl"

"I won’t marry Sirius.”

"Yes you will!" He’s fast and I back up until I hit the wall. “I will not allow you to ruin the family name because of your tantrums. We’re doing you a favor, given what happened in the summer and the constant rebellion of Sirius, it is time for someone to put you in your place!” My eyes tear up. "This is your time to remedy your cowardice.” He moves away a little. I’m surprised at his words.

"Cowardice? Not wanting to kill a Muggle family, is that what you call cowardice? ”

"They are infe-"

"They are not!" I interrupt before he continues with the same sermon as always. "That family was innocent, I was and you didn’t mind taking their lives!" The memories come quickly.

That day in which nothing was different, until my brother Apollo and Isis abandoned their routines with their family to arrive at our house late at night. I remember that my father called me and I went down to the living room, the furniture was not there and everything was lit by candles and the flames of the fireplace.

"What's going on?" I asked. My whole family was gathered in the center, their bodies are covered in black robes.

"I want you to come closer, daughter," Says my father, raising his arms. I get closer until I'm in front of him. His hands touch my shoulders.

"Unfortunately, the dark lord is in a great hurry to gather his people, and we can't wait for you to turn seventeen, darling," He touches my cheek.

“Dark Lord?”

"Finally there’s someone with courage to put an order in the magical world,” adds my mum.

"We will explain later, now you must do something for me, would you do it?" I nodded. "That's my girl,” suddenly another black figure comes out from behind my father.

"This is Bartemius Crouch Jr." The man comes up with a sinister smile and takes my hand.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Singh," He says, then releases my hand and goes to a corner.

"Persephone, you must show Mr. Crouch that you’re worthy to be on the side of the Dark Lord."

"But... I- I don't- I don't know, dad," I say nervously.

"Don't worry, it's a simple thing, I'll be here.” Isis reaches out and holds out my wand. "Take it," I obey with my trembling hand.

Then they all stepped back to reveal three kneeling figures. My father guides me until I’m in front of them.

He holds up his wand and the cloth that covered their faces disappears. My breath cuts short and my eyes are wide, I try to back away, but my father avoids it by putting a hand on my lower back.

A man, a woman and an 8-year-old boy. The three wake up and when they notice the new location they begin to move, and try to speak, but the ties on their hands and feet and the cloth in their mouths prevent it.

"Crucio!" My father exclaims and the three of them screech in pain. The little boy is crying just like his mother.

I look at them with pure terror, what the fuck do they want me to do with them?

"What is this? Why are they here? Who are they, dad? ”

“Calm down, Persephone. This family–” He points out to them. “They are Muggles, do you remember what I have taught you about them?” I nod in  confusion. "Well, now you must show that we’re superior to them.”

“Wha– How?" My father stands behind me and whispers in my ear.

"Kill them.”

Taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr @siriuslysirius1107 @thagreenmoon   @madmaiden2890 @bloodorangemoonlight   @ren-ela @avipshamitra​   @auroraawrites​  @findzelda @lizlil @siriusmuch @mey-rapp​ 

[risrielthron]

Who We Were

This took a good long while because there was a retcon in November of 2015 that kinda forced Risri into hiatus. When I brought her back for the paper in 2016, some details changed but still this was an eye-opening exercise of how I’ve grown as both an RPer and a writer. Anything that does not have brackets is the same.

Take a trip down memory lane, pull up the oldest ‘about’ post you can find for your character, and annotate what has changed and what has stayed the same in {Curly brackets}. 

(I borrowed this from @alyssa-ward​​ because what a cool exercise)

Originally posted October 4, 2015

Character’s full name: Risri Elthron Reason or meaning of name:  combination of Mother's best friend's name (still alive) and her mother's sister who died - Rislana (best friend) and Kiari (sister). The Elthron family have mostly played a back seat in the history of the Kaldorei. {Both of these origins have kind of changed. Risri’s name became a place that her parents named her after, something that was important to her father’s family in an RP with her aunt. The last name Elthron was chosen by Risri during her exile her original family name is Kal’serrar.} Character’s nickname:  Ris Reason for nickname: just a short form of Risri

Physical appearance

Age: 403 {she has aged 1 rl year each year since 2015 she is currently 408 years old} How old does he/she appear: to a human about 20ish {I actually think now she probably seems a little older to people) Weight: We don't ask ladies this! Though she looks healthy and toned. {I figure she’s whatever the average weight is for female elves} Height: Average for a Kaldorei {This has changed a bit. I have her just a tad shorter than Dragaur in human form so she’s 6’2” which apparently is short for an elf} Body build: She's not a body builder but her activities keep her in shape. Shape of face: Typical Kaldorei {She did not have a face claim at the time nor did she have art.  Her face looks like this art the most.}

Eye color: White {I list it as silver now} Glasses or contacts: none Skin tone: light purplish Distinguishing marks: Claw tattoo (gained during her Druid initiation ceremony) Hair color: Purple Type of hair: Long Hairstyle: up in a ponytail or straight down her back {when I first made Risri I had her in the pigtail hair style. I quickly didnt like how it looks and changed it to the long style she sports now. It has not changed since} Voice: typically soft {I imagine her voice and accent a bit like Gal Gadot’s natural voice} Overall attractiveness: again not really caught up in her appearance so someone may need to tell her and even then she will more than likely blush and stammer a thank you. {This has changed so so much from when I first created her.  She knows she is lovely and she will probably think you want something from her if you flatter her appearance.} Physical disabilities: none Usual fashion of dress: For events: dresses...she has discovered she likes pretty pretty dresses.  For class: simple black pants and a simple shirt  {So this too has changed from when I first created her.  She aims for comfort and style. She most often will be found in one of these} Favorite outfit: Dresses, she found a lovely gold and white dress that has become her favorite {I dont even know what dress this was but Im sure it was something from my early days on wra-I would say her favorite outfit is probably one of the ones above} Jewelry or accessories: She wears a button on a string around her neck. She fondles it every so often. {The button on a string has actually moved to her bag, she now sports a ruby necklace from Dragaur, her bracelet with several charms on it, and always has her camera}

Personality

Alignment: Good {I think I would classify Risri now as more neutral these days} Good personality traits: Loves animals, children, books, meeting new people (even though she can be shy, she enjoys it), giving, loyal  {This is all true except for the shyness, I don’t actually rp Risri as shy. She may be standoffish but thats cause IRL I am shy but Risri most definitely has no fear of talking to people} Bad personality traits: shyness can sometimes stop her from joining in, when she is caught up in research she may ignore others not to be hurtful she just gets caught up  {I think this one goes with the other, as for bad traits today, I usually say she can be stuck in her ways at times and can be over protective} Mood character is most often in: happy {I would say this is still true but she’s had her share of pain} Sense of humor:  silly things make her laugh {Not so much silly things but she definitely has a more snarky is funny sense of humor} Character’s greatest joy in life: running in the forest as a cat {Taking pictures and being a druid are equal} Character’s greatest fear: the death of her mother {This has actually come out in RP as a fear of mind control.  She would fear the death of her mother but mind control tops it.} Why?  Her mother and her are very close (unusual for Kaldorei, as they grow up communally typically), travelling with her mother in her formative years they relied upon each other What single event would most throw this character’s life into complete turmoil? Ris would be devastated if something happened to her mother  {I think the death of Latilda, and then when she thought Dragaur was dead, and subsequently the death of Suzi in the office are three of the most profound things that made Risri change some. Her fel contamination would come a close fourth Currently, if something was to really happen to Dragaur, Sky, or Selise it would mess up Risri for a while} Character is most at ease when: Researching {Funnily enough this might still be true, but I would say taking pictures is probably more} Most ill at ease when: at war {This is true, but as she found out both at Darkshore and recently when there are forsaken involved she has no hesitation in killing.} Enraged when: witnessing senseless destruction of sacred places or artifacts {I completely forgot that I chose that, but I would say it has not changed. She also does not stand for people she cares about being hurt, this one is tricky though and I often have to tame it down because of interactions with others.} Depressed or sad when:  she is a pretty positive individual, depression and sadness are fleeting if they happen at all. {This has matured over time. She gets very introspective at times and definitely will seek alone time when she is sad.} Priorities: Learn about as many cultures as she can, current focus is Treants. {So long ago… Her priorities currently are her studio, Dragaur, and helping the Kaldorei still homeless.} Life philosophy: Learn, Learn, Learn then share it all!  {This was definitely written back in my Stormwind University days. Her philosophy “Be kind. It’s worthwhile to make an effort to learn about other people and figure out what you might have in common with them.”} Character’s soft spot: her Sprite Darter "Flutter" {Also a certain worgen} Is this soft spot obvious to others? Sometimes {while I dont play it up too much she is very attached to Flutter. As for the worgen, yes when they are together it is clear she has a soft spot for the gruff one} Greatest strength: Passion for learning {This is probably still true but I would say she also is a pretty good photographer and a loyal friend.} Greatest vulnerability or weakness:  Naivety of how the world really works even though she has travelled the two main continents extensively she has been sheltered by her mother. {This was one of the things I retconned out of her when I brought her back for the paper. Risri may be unknowing of some human interactions but she is far from naive in most cases.} Biggest regret: That one time at band camp...seriously she is young so right now she doesn't have one but this may play into her development and story later. {HUGE change here... in fleshing her out in RP the biggest regret is and always will be the incident that forced her out of the Sentinels but not the results because it let her become a druid so its a double edged regret} Minor regret: she forgot to tell her mom about the time she ...oh that might not be appropriate for here {Again a change that came about from RP, that she threatened Dragaur with turning him in. She would never do that and she said it in a moment of frustration with him during a fight. It hurt them both too much.} Biggest accomplishment: coming soon  {Running the paper. Opening her studio. either} Minor accomplishment: joining the University! {so many things, her writings, some of her photographs, saving people at Teldrassil, helping the Kaldorei in Stormwind.} Past failures he/she would be embarrassed to have people know about: she was almost not able to become a druid...story for another time {This also changed with the retcon, but I would say the time she spent before coming to Stormwind would be something she would not want others to know about and will probably not talk about to anyone.} Why?  She loves being a druid so not being one… {I have thoughts about what she was doing but its not fleshed out. Maybe someday and I can revisit this.} Character’s darkest secret: She is a pretty open book. Maybe later she will have a "dark" secret.  {So this dark secret is the fact that she killed 10 Sentinels. That also came with the revamp.} Does anyone else know?  {Several people.}

Goals

Drives and motivations: Curiosity unusual for a Kaldorei and need to have answers to questions  { I would say this is somewhat still there and aided her when she was a reporter, but her drives and motivations are deeper now and the result of RP. She wants to make amends and sees her work with the Kaldorei refugees as part of that.} Immediate goals: Make friends with the treant she met at the Grove of Ancients {Keep her business running, aid the Kaldorei} Long term goals: Become an expert in as many cultures as she can {Live} How the character plans to accomplish these goals: Locate writings and interviewing others, spending time with treants ((her contact will be sending her around Azeroth and Draenor to meet with others)) {So her plan for her immediate goals are tied together. She takes a good portion of her profits from the studio and the two books she’s published to fund her relief efforts} How other characters will be affected: may be pestered for any little detail they have about treants  {Most of the people she interacts with in RP would not be impacted.}

Past

Hometown: Darnassus  {God I was such a noob.  Feralas is her home.} Type of childhood: travelled both continents with her mother {so noob. She spent her youth in Feralas, Ashenvale, and Darkshore.} Pets: Sprite Darter named Flutter and a curious little white kitten {I retconned the kitten. Its only Flutter} First memory: Leaves above her (could be why she is fascinated with the treants...) {I think I’ll leave this one.} Most important childhood memory: Her and her mother on a ship talking into the night {This can stay too} Why?  The closeness she felt to her mother {Because of this reason}

Present

Current location: Elwynn Forest, Jazimina Amberstill's "Ranch" {Stormwind City, either Dragaur’s apartment or her studio} Currently living with: Jazimina Amberstill and Ritti {Dragaur} Pets: Sprite Darter "Flutter" Religion: Follower of Elune {no change, add wild gods} Occupation: Researcher {Photographer} Finances: moderate {no change though she has more wealth than she lets on}

Family

Mother:  Kahrysta Elthron  {Oh wow I totally changed her mother’s name.. Its Alistra Kal’serrar } Relationship with her: good {excellent} Father: Brezlin Elthron Relationship with him: vague memories, he died when she was still a child Siblings: none Relationship with them: Spouse: none Relationship with him/her: Children: none {though she briefly adopted Ritti before they found the gnome’s family} Relationship with them: Other important family members: Mother's best friend Rislana is like an aunt  {her aunt Tara, cousins, and another aunt I dont have a name for.}

Favorites

Color: Green and Purple {blues could be added} Least favorite color: Orange {sorry Drag, but I dont think its true anymore} Music: any Food: Chocolate Cookies {See answer here} Literature: Any Form of entertainment: stories {plays, dances could be added} Expressions: "Indeed!" {Its not often I get to use it but I do like it} Mode of transportation: Winterspring Frostsaber, given to her by her mother when she hit adulthood (about 50 years ago) or flight form  {Flight form.  The frostsaber went away in the retcon} Most prized possession: her journal {Camera}

Habits

Hobbies: Dabbles in alchemy {more than dabbles now} Plays a musical instrument? No Plays a sport: no How he/she would spend a rainy day: reading a book, any book {taking pictures} Spending habits: thrifty {for herself this is probably true, for others she can be extravagant} Smokes: no  Drinks: not normally  {no change, but she will drink} Other drugs: no What does he/she do too much of? Read  {Take pictures} What does he/she do too little of?  Socialize just for fun {This is probably more true now since giving up the paper} Extremely skilled at:  Keeping a team alive when faced with challenges when exploring  {Photography, writing could be added} Extremely unskilled at:  a lot of things but she does hate cooking {LIES...I retconned this. She loves to cook. I don’t know...but I am sure there is something. It would probably be something she doesn’t do and has no desire to do.} Nervous tics: not sure someone may need to point that out to her  {She plays with the bracelet on her wrist when she’s nervous. } Usual body posture: relaxed and happy Mannerisms: polite {extremely so} Peculiarities: …  {hmm, I am sure there are some that have manifested over the five years I’ve been RPing her. Perhaps how she will always address a human as their full name unless she has been asked not to and will still use Ms. Mrs. Miss. Mr. with that name unless she feels close to you.}

Traits

Optimist or pessimist: Optimist Introvert or extrovert: Introvert until she gets to know you then she might not be quiet {I would say shes more mixed now.} Daredevil or cautious?: A little of both Logical or emotional: Emotional  {probably more mixed now though she can be emotional she just normally doesn’t let it show unless she is very comfortable with you} Disorderly and messy or methodical and neat: somewhere in between, depends on how wrapped up she is in her research but she does have a habit of cleaning up if there is a mess  { I would say she is very neat. Sky drives her crazy.} Prefers working or relaxing:  working {definitely would say this is still true} Confident or unsure of himself/herself: unsure internally, others probably see her as confident  {a little of this still lingers but unless you are close to her you wont see it} Animal lover: indeed

Self-Perception

How he/she feels about himself/herself: an introvert who is more bookish than social  {This is still kinda true.} One word the character would use to describe self: shy  {Quiet} One paragraph description of how the character would describe self: A passionate learner and studier of peoples, loves animals, enjoys outdoors, and exploring is exciting.  {A memory keeper, lover of animals and the outdoors, her passion for photography as a way to preserve memories is high.} What does the character consider his/her best personality trait? her passion for learning  {her compassion for others} What does the character consider his/her worst personality trait? her shyness ((its all in her head too, she really can be quite un-shy when meeting new races or investigating something though in social entertainment type situations she is at a loss)) {so retconned, she would say her possessiveness when it comes to the people she cares about.} What does the character consider his/her best physical characteristic? She is unaware of her appearance most of the time  {She likes her hair.} What does the character consider his/her worst physical characteristic? She hates her feet...not really  {I’ll keep this if only cause I dont know} How does the character think others perceive him/her: She sometimes thinks too much about this and sometimes it doesn't bother her at all  {She is very conscious of being a Kaldorei business woman in a human society. She strives to show that her people are trustworthy and kind.} What would the character most like to change about himself/herself: her shyness  {Since I retconned the shyness...I don’t know...Risri believes she can be a better person but its something that you work on each day.} 

Relationships with others

Opinion of other people in general: opportunity to learn  {She is still curious about others and likes people watching. She thinks most people are good at heart.} Does the character hide his/her true opinions and emotions from others: hmm, I think this will depend upon the relationship and situation  {Oh most definitely, this was honed during her time as a reporter where she hid a lot of her thoughts about things.} Person character most hates: no one (yet)  {Elyza Morrowbranch} Best friend(s): her mother / Jazi  {Sky Stoneseat} Love interest(s): none (yet)  {Dragaur} Person character goes to for advice: her mother / Dean Crowelley  { Dragaur, Sky, Selise} Person character feels responsible for or takes care of: Ritti  {Dragaur, Sky } Person character feels shy or awkward around: cute boys...oh ok anyone in an entertainment social situation, when she is meeting others for what she calls "research" she emulates her mother's ambassador ways as much as possible  {So such a noob.  She really doesn’t except older Kaldorei...she worries what they know of her past.} Person character openly admires: her mother and Rislana Silverwind  {Who is Rislana Silverwind omg I totally forgot this was a thing. Will have to think of someone else as Rislana is a Draenei now.  As for who she admires?  Her mother, Selise, Sky, Eilithe, Feyawen, Anegorn, and a few others.} Person character secretly admires: Dean Crowelley {I don’t think there is anyone she secretly admires, if she likes you, you know.} Most important person in character’s life before story starts: her mother  After story starts:  Ritti, Jazi, and the university faculty  {Dragaur, Sky, Selise}

If you made it here thanks for looking at the changes of Risri over the course of the last five years.  Its been a long, strange, crazy trip but I wouldn’t change much about it. If you want to do this, I encourage you to! And tag me cause I wanna read!

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

don't know if anyone i know irl still follows me here or checks tumblr, ever,

so with my dad and a bunch of rl friends on my twitter i don't think i can use that as a vent anymore at least not for shit like this

(cw sui)

(can you insert read mores on mobile? I've not been on Tumblr in silly amounts of time)

I've never been the edgy type to be all doom and gloom and shit, and honestly the fact that my brain is even going there is pretty scary to me

but at this point, me killing myself feels almost like an inevitability, rather than an option.

i have no clear plan, i haven't even hurt myself in years,

but the other day

(last week? the week before? who even tf knows at this point)

when i had my real bad suicidal episode, i was too high to do anything about it at the time, but i just had this... cosmic feeling, that there is a timeline in which i kill myself,

and that i am in that timeline.

now being high comes with anxiety and feelings of impending doom and all that shit i know, but I've genuinely never felt anything like that before, and it scares me.

i guess the good (?) news is that i saw myself presented with that information, that fact, and immediately went

no way no way no way no way no way no way no way no way

no way!!!

no fucking way

so i was safe in that moment, and hopefully in moments to come, cus i am in a deeply bad state of mind right now and there is still a part of me that is going (no way no way no way)

but also... will that part always be there?

my future is unsure, my status in this country could be erased by next month, i might be destitute, (I'm catastrophising but it's not impossible)

and the way the world is going, do i really want to be alive to see it? i wanna get off this ride man it just keeps getting worse, i can see no end to it, and fighting it seems hopeless, because who in this country outside this little leftist bubble would even fight,

and

would anyone even miss me?

(yes, says my brain, and immediately draws up a list headed by my family and my cats and like half of Cardiff,)

(but if i get into that state where everything is too much, and i just cannot bring myself to care, or feel,)

(would any of that even matter? my parents, my sister, my cats? my partner, my friends?)

i don't want to feel this way but I've been feeling so bad so often in the past few weeks alone and there is no light at the end of the tunnel,

i feel lost and hopeless, i feel like im drowning, and sometimes i can breathe but most of the time im drowning and can only look for mindless distractions to keep myself from thinking about it,

I'm nearly 28 and i feel like the best years of my life are behind me and i feel like all the things i would love to do,

(like be with selena forever, like build that queer community centre, like watch my cats grow old,)

are just going to be impossible because the world is imploding around me and there is nothing i can do, but watch, record, and grieve

and grief is hitting me so hard and it's worse than anything I've ever felt, and it's never going to go away and it's only going to get worse,

I'm so tired. existing is so exhausting right now. I'm so tired.

i gotta keep living at least for my cats. nobody's gonna love them like i do. they would possibly be cared for but... bloob especially. she wouldn't understand. she's living under the assumption that i am her hooman, and that i will always be there

the least i can do is fulfil that. and for malibu as well, my big boy. my cats are so important and i love them so much. more than anyone else could.

i don't know how to end this post. i think im safe. i think ill be okay. getting it out is helping. feeling like maybe someone will read this is helping. it's okay if nobody does. it's helped just to type it out. it's out of my brain now.

sigh. it's probably bed time. I'll sleep it off like i always do.

[argylemnwrites]

Warmth

Pairing: Bryce Lahela x MC (Cassie Vanderfield)

Book: Open Heart (a little over 1 year after the end of Book 1)

Word Count: ~1300

Rating: G

Summary: Bryce finds himself in an unexpected location for his vacation.

Author’s Note: Written for Days 12 and 14 of the Autumn writing prompt list (prompts - Bonfire and Toasted Marshmallows) as requested by @universallypizzataco. I hope you don’t mind that I combined these prompts into one fic, but they just went so well together!

Bryce pulled the blanket further up over his lap and settled back in the lawn chair as he sank further into his Patagonia. His front might have been warm enough from the heat pouring off the flames, but his back was cold. The smoke from the bonfire drifted over toward him as the wind shifted, not only chilling him more, but also causing him to start coughing. 

This wasn’t exactly how Bryce had pictured spending his vacation. His other vacations in residency had been a bit more adventurous. Hiking in Peru. Backpacking in Iceland. Surfing in Bali. When he learned that he and Cassie had been lucky enough to actually have a week of vacation that lined up, he’d figured they could go to a resort in the Caribbean. Something warm, tropical, and relaxing, a perfect escape from the cold wind and rain of Boston Octobers.

But instead, they were at a cabin in Michigan’s upper peninsula. Instead of a luxury king sized bed, they were sleeping in twin beds they’d shoved together. And instead of cocktails on the beach or by the pool, they were drinking beer around a bonfire, the temperature 45 degrees, not 82. But when Cassie had suggested they head to her family’s cabin to join her parents and her brother in closing it down for the season, he hadn’t been able to say no. She’d looked so excited, her eyes sparkling and her speech just slightly pressured, telling him she hadn’t made it up there for this annual tradition since the second year of med school. Who was he to deny her that chance?

To be fair, it hadn’t all been huddling in the cold and lounging around a bare bones cabin. They’d spent a couple days in Ann Arbor for her fellowship interview at the start of their vacation, and their trip north had involved a night in a quaint little B&B as they ate fudge, rented bikes, and golfed at a much nicer course than they could afford in the warmer months on Mackinac Island. But for the past two days, they’d been up in the middle of nowhere, and starting Friday night, they’d been joined by her parents and her brother. Which is how Bryce found himself sitting around a bonfire with Mrs. Vanderfield and Nick on the last Saturday of their vacation, waiting for Cassie and her father to join them with the s’mores supplies. 

It was a bit strange to find himself willingly attending a family vacation. Of course, this wasn’t his family. And her family, though they were far from perfect, at least seemed to be open and caring with one another. Even now, as Bryce listened to Mrs. Vanderfield needle Nick about the length of his hair and how it wasn’t helping his job search, it felt more affectionate and warm than even the nicest compliments his parents tended to pay him. 

Soon, Cassie plopped down in the lawn chair next to his, grabbing a marshmallow from the bag and shoving it on her roasting stick before passing the bag to him. Bryce grabbed his stick, sitting next to him since he finished roasting his hot dog for dinner, and placed his marshmallow above the center of the bonfire, causing Cassie to roll her eyes and laugh.

“How many times do I have to tell you that’s a recipe for a burnt marshmallow?”

Bryce winked and shrugged, “Only like half the time. And what can I say, I like to live on the edge.”

“Yeah, real big risk taker here. You’re just impatient.”

“Oh, you’re one to talk. How many miles over the speed limit were you going on the way up here when you got pulled over?”

Cassie shot him a dirty look as her mother interjected, “Cassie, you got another speeding ticket? And in a rental car? I’m so sick of telling you that getting somewhere five minutes faster is not worth risking your life.”

“Mom, it was nothing. They let me off with just a warning.”

“Only because you played the doctor card,” Bryce chimed in, taking great amusement as Cassie glared at him while her father just shook his head as her mother pinched the bridge of her nose and Nick chuckled. “What medical emergency were you rushing to again?”

“None at that time, but if you keep this up, you will need a doctor before the night’s over.”

“Promises, promises,” Bryce said with a grin, but wisely decided to stop the teasing while she was only mildly annoyed. He pulled his marshmallow out from the center of the flames, perfectly golden brown. He glanced over at Cassie’s stick, held over the edge of the fire. Her marshmallow was still pale white.

Bryce grabbed the chocolate and graham crackers off the spare lawn chair, using them to slide his marshmallow off the stick and passed the s’more to her. “Here,” he said as he grabbed the stick out of her hand, “We’ll be here all night if you wait for that marshmallow to roast there, and we have to be on the road by 7am for our flight.”

“Wait, not only did Cassie get my bed for her boyfriend, but they aren’t gonna even be here for the worst parts of closing up the cabin?” Nick asked as he whipped his head around to look between his parents.

“We’re just happy Cassie could make it this year. And Bryce, of course,” Mr. Vanderfield said as he made his own s’more, leaving off the chocolate and just using graham crackers.

“Next year we should close out the cabin the first weekend of their vacation so they can actually help on Sunday. And one of you two can take the couch,” Nick said with a shake of his head, pointing between Bryce and Cassie.

“I doubt they’ll be able to make it next year, Nick. Bryce, your residency is four more years, is that right?” asked Mrs. Vanderfield.

Bryce nodded and opened his mouth to clarify, but saw his marshmallow catch fire. Yanking the stick back toward him, he quickly blew it out, but still found himself with a blackened marshmallow. Cassie moved to get him a new one, but he shook his head and made his s’more anyway. A little charring wasn’t a problem.

“The next two years are dedicated research time for me, so we should have some flexibility in scheduling our vacations,” Bryce said before taking a bite. 

“Oh, don’t feel obligated, dear. We completely understand if you two want to take a trip to Hawaii to see your family. That has to be more exciting than the UP,” said Mrs. Vanderfield.

“And warmer,” added Mr. Vanderfield.

Bryce just shook his head and continued eating his s’more. No need to get into that mess tonight. So he let the conversation drift to other topics, from Thanksgiving plans with Mrs. Vanderfield’s sister to Mr. Vanderfield’s new boss, from memories of the time Cassie broke her arm climbing the giant oak tree out front to Mrs. Vanderfield attempting to determine if Nick was currently dating anyone. It was so different than what Bryce was used to when his family got together, watching a family that clearly actually liked spending time with one another. 

As they left the bonfire and went to get ready for bed in the tiny bathroom, Cassie slipped her hand into his and said, “Thanks for coming up here with me. I know this isn’t your usual vacation.”

Bryce shrugged, “Maybe, but I am always up to try something new.”

“Still, I know you aren’t a big fan of the cold.”

“Warmth isn’t always found in a forecast, Cassie.” 

She smiled at him gently, then handed him his toothbrush and toothpaste from the toiletry bag they had sitting on the top of the toilet tank. While she was right that he never would have chosen a vacation like this on his own, he wouldn’t change sharing these moments with her for anything.

@mfackenthal @lilyofchoices @thequeenchoices @octobereighth @feartheendlesssummer @tallulahshh @fortunatelywaywardsandwich @dreaming-of-movies @choicesarehard @universallypizzataco @omgjasminesimone @srta-give-me-my-jax-rl

[walkingshcdow-a]

Announcement: 1/29/2020

Good evening, y’all! I just want to give a quick update on what activity on this blog is going to look like, which muses are going to be active (and to what extent), and all that good stuff. I’m placing it under a “read more”, simply because this will be a long post.

General Notes

State testing will soon be upon my students. I’m working hard to prepare them. On the plus side, this Saturday (2/1/2020) is my last debate meet of the semester! That said, we’re implementing some study Saturdays, where I’ll be offering tutoring/mini-lessons for four hours on select Saturdays. I will place semi-hiatus notices in advance for those. 

I’m also contending with a severe depression. I have it in my Habitica app that I need to do at least one reply/ask/meme a day, so I don’t fall out of the habit/give into the dark side, but expect me to be a little slower. Some of y’all know what triggered this particular bout of depression - nothing RP related, but it is intensely personal and intensely painful. I’m getting the professional help I need and I have to remind myself that that’s what matters right now. Good vibes are appreciated, though! Always. And as always, I’ll be sending you guys love and positive thoughts at every chance I get. 

Summer will be better.

Muse Activity

My muse activity, as anyone with a MuMu or multiple blogs will attest to, fluctuates. However I want to give some notes on all muses for those of you who are curious.

Rudyard Funn: Rudyard is listed as active and he is! I’m struggling to keep up with old threads from his former blog, so if you have something you’d like to keep from there, please link me! 

Georgie Crusoe: I’m testing Georgie. I’m not ready to unleash her on new RP partners (unless they RP canon Wooden Overcoats characters), just because I’m getting used to her and deciding whether or not I plan to keep her. If you enjoy my Georgie, please let me know!

Masha Voronina: Masha is active, but I am insecure about my female OCs in general. Please send love/asks/anons/threads her way! 

Anna Garcia: Like Masha, Anna is active and I’m a bit insecure about my female OCs so any love is very appreciated! That said, I’m pretty confident in her voice and PSYCHED about the urban fantasy world I’ve built surrounding her (and Santiago and a bunch of unlockable OCs and verses for canons...) Hit me up!!

Victor Frankenstein: Victor is really only open for interaction with @professor-of-predators. I’m using him to cope with some things and I don’t really want to open him up to others at this point in time.

Finnegan: Finnegan is so underrated. PLEASE hit me up for him! He’s active and terrible but capable of growth. 

Diaval: I haven’t seen “Maleficent 2″ yet. I will! That said, I’ve had a huge resurge of muse for him. Please RP with him! Minor changes might be made to his bio when I see M2, but from what I’ve heard, I’m on the right trajectory with him anyways.

Elizabeth Lavenza: Elizabeth is on hiatus. When I bring her back, I want to divorce her from my 2015 verses more (still have Victor with an NPC sister) and allow her to shine without Victor looming over her. This is a project to consider in the summer, if the muse strikes.

Erik: Erik is selective af. I’ve never made it a secret that I think the Pha.ndom is a total cesspool. I am willing to play Erik, but insofar as shipping goes, please just assume that my endgame is Erik/Nadir with my Nadir unless we’ve explicitly discussed otherwise. I’m just really exhausted with feeling like this muse is romanticized, sexualized, and fetishized. 

Nadir Khan: Nadir is so selective, I should just put him on hiatus. I don’t have a lot of muse for him outside of fanfiction right now. If you have an interesting plot idea, feel free to message me, but I may not have the spoons to indulge you.

Gleb Vaganov: Gleb is on indefinite hiatus. I have lost inspiration for him, but hope that he may return to me in the future. 

Santiago Ortiz: Santiago is selective, but only because he’s a little harder for me to write than some of the others. If you want to plot, message me! I’m eager to use him, he’s just very different than my usual “type”. I’m excited about his universe and using him.

Percy Blakeney: I have muse for Percy, but I think I’ll put him on semi-hiatus for my mental health. I also know not many people know what to do with him and that’s okay! If you have a specific plot, lmk.

Marguerite St. Just: Like Percy, I have muse for Marguerite, but I’m putting her on semi-hiatus. Not many people know what to do with her and that’s okay! If you have a specific plot, lmk. 

Madeleine de Chandon: I have inspiration for this OC, but I want to revamp her. She is so far on hiatus as I workshop her that she isn’t even listed on my muse list.

Jaskier: I want to pick up Jaskier from “The Witcher” as a muse, but I want to do some test writing - fanfictions, private RPs, etc. If you’d like to privately RP with him, message me! He’ll be Netflix based because I don’t know anything about games besides what the Wiki tells me. Not sorry.

Please note that it is physically impossible for me to devote the same amount of time/focus/energy on each of my muses as the same time. I hope to keep my turn-around times short, but I ask for your patience as I do work full-time and am dealing with a lot of RL stressors. This is a hobby, not my job.

Verse Reconstruction

You may have noticed I’m not tagging verses. I’m working on deciding how to go about doing that in an efficient way. My threads will be a little messy for the time being but I’m thinking of doing big, blanket verse tags (ex. .001 | canon, .002 | modern, .003 | historical, etc.). I might include more specific tags, but I don’t know what that will look like.

I do know that all my muses will have their canon verses, a modern verse (if they are not a modern character), an urban fantasy verse (if they are not urban fantasy character), historical verses (generally tagged or tagged by era), a Disney verse (if they are not a Disney character), a D&D/medieval fantasy inspired verse, and so forth. I’m sure there are others I’ve neglected to include in this list. 

Give me time to construct these tags and/or pages. I work full time and can’t believe I’ve carved time to make an announcement post.

Graphics/Layout/Etc.

I need to save up to commission my favorite graphics-maker to beautify this blog. In the meantime, I hope it’s easy enough to navigate and not too unsightly!

Misc.

If you’ve read all of this, please know that I love you. Thank you for being patient with me as I’ve searched for an online home. Hopefully I will feel at ease on my MuMu. 

As always, please respect my rules and boundaries, but don’t be shy! I promise to do the same for you!

Peace!

[fresh-outta-jams]

Signed, Sealed, Delivered - Part 10

Namjoon x Reader Author: Admin Mo Summary: You’re in college by the time your soulmate tattoo finally shows up, an address. Sending a letter couldn’t hurt, right? Note: hehehehehe Warnings: Some swears, soulmate fluff, mentions of Exp*nsive G*rl... Word Count: 1.8k

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, Epilogue

“Okay, I have two things.”

Namjoon sat at attention, that curious, inquisitive, and slightly concerned look in his eyes. It was like he could feel the tension waiting behind your words. “Yeah?”

“Okay, first, tell Jungkook I’m gonna fight him.”

He laughed. “Can I ask why?”

“This boy...every time I try to play Superstar BTS his rap in No More Dream ruins my perfect streak.”

“Valid. What was the second thing?” Namjoon tilted his head to scratch the back of his neck, leaning further against his desk chair. He had gone into the studio extra early today. You admired his dedication.

“Well, I kind of, uh…” Your cheeks flushed red. Maybe bringing this up wasn’t going to be as easy as you thought it would be, but you pushed on nonetheless. “I was digging around on Twitter, you know, like I do, and I, uh...so one of my mutuals sent me a really old...song of yours...”

For a second, Namjoon didn’t really get what you were talking about, but then, eyes widening, He Did. “No, tell me you didn’t…” He covered his reddening cheeks with a large hand, hiding his face from you. “Baby, I am so, so sorry you had to hear that. It was a long time ago and I want you to know that I’m not like that at ALL anymore and--”

“Joonie, it’s okay.” You giggled at the look on his face. He was so worried about it, it was adorable. You swore you’d never seen his cheeks so red. “Sweetie, really, it’s fine. You were like eighteen. You don’t even want to know all of the cringy shit I did six years ago.”

“Okay…” He nodded, taking a few deep breaths. Something settled over him. You couldn’t tell quite what it was, but perhaps he had been thinking about something. “I was thinking about this the other day, and it made me really sad.”

“What?”

“I’m never going to get to take you to prom.”

“Aww, Joonie, that’s okay. Prom is overrated anyway.”

“Well, yeah, maybe, but it’s not just that. I’m never going to get to ask you to prom. I’m never going to get to see you in your prom dress or take you on an awkward first date and be so, so nervous to hold your hand.” He let out a long sigh. “I hate that we’re so far apart, jagiya, I just want to see you. I think it’s killing me inside. What is it you call it in the States? Soul…”

“Soul sickness. I know. I feel it too. And it hurts, but it won’t always, right? It’s gonna take a little while, but we’ll get there.” You tried to be reassuring, but you were in pain too. “And then you can awkwardly hold my hand.”

He smiled a little, almost hesitant. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

***

“Dear Namjoon,

I’m madly and entirely in love with you. I really don’t know what to do. My whole day revolves around seeing you, talking to you, even if it’s only for a little while. Someday, I’m going to be standing in front of you, and that boggles my mind. I’m 100% sure you give the best hugs ever, and I can’t wait to test out that hypothesis.

I’ve been watching all of your interviews, English and otherwise, and I can’t get over the way you hold yourself. You’re such a leader, so intelligent. You always know what to say. I’ve also been watching a lot of your concert videos and good lord, is it possible to be bias-wrecked by your bias?? Holy shit, Namjoon, your stage presence is something else entirely. My roommate is always worried my jaw is going to get stuck open.

I’m sorry my letters keep getting shorter. I have more homework this semester than I did last semester. It’s been keeping me pretty busy and I-”

Mid-sentence, your phone rang. Namjoon never called at this time, and yet, there he was, calling you. You picked up, a puzzled look on your face.

“Jagiya, can I talk to you about something important?” Namjoon paused and looked at his wrist, running the numbers in his head. “Wait, shouldn’t you be asleep?”

“I should be, but I’m not. Continue.” You took a long sip of coffee from your favorite travel mug.

“Are you sure? You look tired. It can wait until tomorrow if you-”

“Namjooooon, just say what you need to say.” You whined, silencing his protests.

“Alright. So. I just got out of a meeting, and I have some good news and I could not wait a single minute to tell you.” He waited for a reaction, but you tilted your head, urging him to continue. “I did some digging and some research and I talked to some people, and everything is going to work out the way I thought it would, and--” Namjoon cut off his ramble. “Sorry. Anyway. I...Well, you know how you said you didn’t know what you were doing this summer and you wanted to get a job to help with school?”

“Yes…”

“Well, I kind of...found you a job.”

“Elaborate.” You only kind of understood the point your boyfriend was trying to make.

“So, you know how when we go on tour, we have a ton of camera people doing all of the behind the scenes stuff? I figured, since you know how to use cameras and stuff, you can just...come with us.”

It still wasn’t connecting all the way just yet. “Wait, give that to me one more time. You want me to...”

He smiled softly, his voice getting gentler. “Baby...I want you to come on tour with me. I want you to get paid to spend every second for several months with me.”

“I’d get paid...to film you. And stay in hotels with you. And…”

“And travel the world with me. I mean, well, if you want to, of course. I just...I thought…”

“Well, yes, obviously my answer is yes.” You wiped at the happy tears trailing down your cheeks. “Oh my god, Namjoon, yes.”

“Good. Good, okay. Alright, awesome.” His heart was pounding hard, threatening to leap right out of his chest. “I’m gonna email you the paperwork tonight and then you can print it out and just mail it to me and I’ll handle the rest, alright?”

“Okay. Alright. Yes. Yeah. Oh my God.”

He chuckled, looking over your shocked state. “Breathe, baby, just breathe, alright?”

“I’m trying to.” You replied, sucking in a long breath and letting it out. “Holy shit, Namjoon, thank you so much.”

“No, thank you for saying yes. I think honestly I would have collapsed on the spot if you said no.”

“Why the fuck would I say no?” You laughed, snagging a tissue from your desk to wipe at your tears. “You are the love of my life, there’s no way I would turn an opportunity like that down.”

“Okay, good.” He smiled, dimples on full display. You swore your heart stopped then and there as you were left to bask in the glory that was your gorgeous boyfriend. His expression softened as he looked at you, and he let out a soft groan. “Ugh, I love you so fucking much. I just want the tour to be here now.”

“I love you too, Joon. And believe me, I’m already counting down the days.”

***

With Parts 1, 2, and 3 of his plan accomplished successfully, Namjoon decided it was time to move on to Phase 2, which would consist of several more parts. The first, and arguably the easiest of these, was to creep on your Twitter, which he usually did anyway.

This time, however, he would be snooping through your followers, not your posts, although he did stop to reread your ReTweet of a picture he had posted a few days before. Your response was something along the lines of ‘oh my GOD why is he so BeAuTiFuL?!?!’ Even after all of these months, he still wasn’t sure how you thought that, but it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside nonetheless.

Refocusing on his plan, Namjoon clicked on your followers and scrolled through the list. It was short, as you had said, but that made it a lot easier to find who he was looking for. Luckily for him, you talked about your friends a lot, so it wasn’t too difficult to pick Lily and Grace from the list. He followed each of them, waited a few minutes, and then messaged them.

RM_fan_94: Hi, are you Lily and Grace? This is Namjoon, (Y/N)’s soulmate…

***

“Dear (Y/N),

As I’m writing this letter, I only have to wait four precious months before I finally get to see you. Four months. It seems so far away, but every single day, it gets closer. Before you know it, you’ll be in my arms. God, that makes me the happiest man in the world. I have a countdown on my phone to the exact minute I get to see you.

I’m seriously so excited. I’ll finally get to introduce you to the boys, I’ll get to take you to Europe, I’ll get to show you around Seoul, and if we have time, we can stop in Ilsan and you can meet my parents and my sister. They’ve been dying to finally meet you. My sister is seriously so excited. And you’ll get to meet my dog!!

So, I’ve been reading the books you sent me and I love them. God, why are you so good at everything? My treasured Petoskey stone is sitting on my night stand. I kiss it every night and every morning. That was embarrassing, forget I said that.

I hope your classes aren’t killing you too much. It sounds like they’re really weighing you down this semester, and that makes me sad. Just hang in there, alright? The end is near. I love you, and I believe in you. Fighting!

The boys are so excited to meet you, Jimin especially. I can’t wait for them to meet you. And you’ll finally get to see us in concert!! I’m arranging to get you tickets for one of the shows so you can just watch and not work and enjoy it at least once. It’ll probably be one of the US shows so you can actually understand what we’re saying.

Oh!! And when we’re on tour, in our downtime, I can teach you some Korean!! If you want, I mean. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. But that would be so cute. And we can match outfits and hold hands and go on dates in foreign countries...I’m getting too excited, jagi, sorry.

I love you so, so, so, so, so, so much and I seriously cannot wait to see you.

-Namjoon”

***

You waited in front of the printer in the school library anxiously waiting for the printer to spit out the very, very important documents you had to fill out and send to your boyfriend.

You read over it a little, holding them in your shaking hands before leaving the printing room and sitting down outside the tea shop. You clicked your pen a few more times, reading over the words carefully before you began filling them out.

Tagged: @iie-wakarimasen, @ffantasylandd, @jooniefluff, @chimchimsauce, @mrs-saeyoung-choi, @theprinceoftheundead, @angyexoxo, @copenhagenspirit, @lovelylittlekittn, @lilgaga98, @iminlovewjjk, @feed-my-geek-soul, @loveandwitch, @recoveringflowerchild, @demonic-meatball, @maddieisaacs, @scissorsandtonfas, @carirosesg, @backtonormalthings, @local-mochi, @faliwi, @spoopyela, @nanie5, @ingenu--e, @undiscovered1personality, @andalos, @calspixie, @filtermono, @huhuehuey, @mikey-girl12, @lilliaflurr, @hypophrenium, @sitkafay, @spiicyari, @andeerwilson, @btswerewolfaus, @oyasumi7, @mycurrentusernameisalreadytaken

[dangermousie]

Hercai ep 8

I had an epic post typed up and tumblr ate it. This is not gonna be as epic because I am exhausted from typing all of it only for it to be eaten.

But yes, here is Miran at the swings. I love that he is beginning to realize it’s his fault also that Reyyan has nowhere to go (and thanks for telling him like it is, Firat!). I love his falling apart wondering how he can get her to come back. I love that even in his rage, he won’t destroy their swing.

I wonder about the servant - she clearly knows the truth of that night and of the parentage and says nothing. I wonder why. I bet Firat is the real Aslanbey. which explain why obsessed with blood granny signed over all the property to him (because clearly she plans to leave nothing to Miran.)

The scene at the grave. Miran is heading for an epic breakdown sometime soon. This is the first time Miran is beginning to doubt the story he has been told. I bet Granny emphasized so much his mother’s death and supposed dishonor in part as a giant eff you to the mom (mom would have never wanted her kid warped by revenge) but in part because that is who Miran loved - he never mentions his dad, probably because he was a psycho like the rest of that fam. You know, once the horrible shock wears off, after Miran finds out the truth, it’s actually a good thing for him because he will actually have for a father a man who is not just alive, but is generous and loving and adored his mother (though in RL, it would be close to impossible to get over the sense that his whole life and identity have been manipulatable lies and that as a result of them he hurt innocent people.)

This scene gave me chills - like a horror movie or like watching a cult member getting programmed by the leader (please be deprogrammed soon, Miran.) He is literally begging her to stop and she won’t. She knows exactly what buttons to push because she installed them herself. You know, now that I think of it, he never really had a chance, because she’s been molding him since he was three! And clearly enjoying an appetizer for her revenge against the fam by twisting the one representative of it she had control over - he had no youth, no childhood, and the first chance he had at love and joy she twisted so that now the woman he loved justifiably hates him (and not to mention what she did to Reyyan who she knows is not a Sadoglu.) She also tried to raise him to never love anyone. My God. (You failed, crone!) Also, how creepy is it that she’s never told him any happy memories of his parents (because there weren’t any - what a horror to grow up with only the stories of your parents’ deaths). Or that she raised a child since he was 3 and never ever warmed up to him for one second (in this ep she refers to him as a snake she warmed on her bosom.) His whole identity is tied to who he really isn’t - that’s a huge mess..

The scene in the stables where he desperately tries to prevent her from getting married. Their chemistry is so on fire that if they were allowed proper make-outs, my monitor would melt. (I find it hilarious that when she asks if there is anything else he is concealing - meaning his being married to Genul, he says no and it's clearly because he’s genuinely forgotten he’s marred to Genul. Hahaha.) PS His capacity for love and tenderness definitely comes from Hazar and not the psycho clan he is in.

Their shared dream (because yes, they share dreams eeee!) I loved thathe told her in the dream everything he was not able to say in rl - that he fell for her, that he regrets what he did, that he hasn’t been happy for a moment since he left her in that hut.

But she leaves anyway, and he is left collapsed and scrabbling at the door. You know, this show has convinced me that she can survive their separation but he cannot - he would literally die if he can't have her (last time I got that feeling was from a kdrama New Tales of the Gisaeng which, ironically, also had a plot of the hero hurting the woman he loves and then spending eps and eps paying.)

Yesss! Miran telling granny it was wrong to go after an innocent woman and he should have gotten revenge on the guilty party and not his daughter. He is beginning to see the cracks in his granny’s image and think for himself! (Just as his earlier realization it’s his fault Reyyan is in the situation she is in.) PS Granny was literally egging him on in the brainwashing scene to kill Hazar, knowing full well Hazar is his father and planning to reveal the family truth at some point - she wants to get a man kill his own father! THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THAT ******?!

He really looks like he can finally breathe in this scene, when he finds out Reyyan is not getting married. (I just realized that Gul is his half-sister, which awwwwww.)

I love this so much - they were so happy, they were glowing. I think the reason he was able to fool her he was in love with her was precisely because it wasn’t a lie at all.

He tells them he has come to get his wife! OMG MIRAN YOU ARE INSANE!!!! Honestly, he seems to have genuinely forgotten the marriage was fake and he is already married. (Probably because he fees married to Reyyan in his heart, but still OMG Miran.) I hope this is where Reyyan tells him she knows he is married. (I bet granny married him off so as there would be no chance of him easily making the fake marriage real. I do wonder why she doesn’t care for Genul - maybe because she hates the mom? She loves Elif after all.)

Yup, Granny’s whole plan is to use Miran to destroy the Sadoglus and then reveal the truth of his parentage so everyone will say Miran Sadoglu ended his own family. YOU ARE INSANE!!! But that explains why she did the fake marriage and all - this would be part of revenge but also help destroy Miran himself. I kept wondering why she didn’t care he revenge was wrecking her grandson’s life from the beginning and it’s clear - torturing him is part of her revenge. She’s been breaking him down since he was 3 and enjoying it. Honestly, if he revenge plays out the way she wants, the one destroyed the most would be Miran himself. He literally could not live with something like that - who could? It turns out he is even more of a victim than Reyyan in all this insanity, and if it wasn’t for his genetics (aka two loving sane parents), there would no no hope for him. As is - he is going to have no sense of self, no family, no money, only guilt and regret and utter sense of unmooring from reality as everything in his life has been a lie. And that’s not even getting into what happens if he doesn’t find out Reyyan is adopted right away.

This is all a lot less than I had but I have zero energy to retype what initially took me over an hour. 

[dhbelzinone]

𝓟𝓻𝓸𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓮𝓼 (ᴬⁿᵈ ᴬˡˡ ᵀʰᵃᵗ ᴶᵃᶻᶻ)

𝓞𝓞𝓒 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓸 𝓟𝓸𝓼𝓽

Hi hello I’ve never done anything like this before but it looks like there’s a blog specifically for ooc intros so here’s my best. ♡

Hi my name is Sal, I go by they/them/theirs, and I’m a med school reject turned gender studies honors student. I’m currently working on a thesis about sex worker rights so I’m balls deep I can be in the industry without the good money and devoting the rest of my undergrad career to fighting for their right to make theirs. I’m also an artist and run an indie if y'all wanna see more of my muse’s roots. Bel’s been my emotional support muse for a good while and has gone through more character development than I have my entire lifetime, so although she may seem like a big softie compared to the rest of the muse crowd here, here’s hoping she can hold her own!

Bel Zinone Abridged: Devil’s Highway Vers.

Her mama is an undocumented immigrant who fought tooth and nail for her piece of the American dream. Much of this was due to the help of a vigilante organization that helped her flee from Europe, but her reputation was volatile enough to charm them into seeking out her membership.

Thanks to their international influence, she was able to keep running with the Wallflowers across the continental U. S. She soon settled down with her husband, a high profile (albeit black market) doctor, and raised her two children beneath the protection of the empire they built all the way from the city underbelly up to the high class elite.

Bel and her older brother Beau were relatively spoiled children until he left for the army and the family secrets started to leak. Adolescence was already hard on her, with her elusive sexuality and growing dysphoria yanking her identity chains, but as soon as she discovered her parents’ reign over the criminal underground, Bel doubted the authenticity of her upbringing and fled to the southern inlands with the resolve to make it on her own.

Little did she know that she’d find herself right smack in the middle of a gang war of the very nature she tried to escape. However, this time was going to be different. She wasn’t going to be at their mercy.

They were going to be at hers, for she offered one of the few medical resources in the entire desert that didn’t come with the liability of a paper trail.

In the meantime, she floats between bunny ranches, strip clubs, and the odd burlesque show. When she’s not working, she can be found frequenting bars, on Instagram, streaming her cam, tinkering with her Widowmaker, or looking for a good meatball sub.

Whereas she would’ve used her earnings to run as far away as possible from her past, Bel ironically finds solace in the lucrative lifestyle, calling a cozy studio apartment home and splurging on the occasional odds and ends that make the closeted queer life she embodies just a bit more bearable.

Relationships for her? I’m not gonna lie: despite the past rancor she’s had for her parent’s occupations, she genuinely wants to help and support people, patching them up so they’re good to go back to whatever they were doing without judgement. Her view of the life’s changed and she’s come to understand the institutions (as well as will) that brings people to commit and run with crime. She’s yet to make peace with her family, but she’s come to terms with the blood she’s from and wants to make a difference in peoples’ lives. That being said: 

Give her your tired, your poor, your horny

A job @ Paradise, maybe? Maybe she could learn about the surrounding gang activity from other dancers / affiliates or Kimi when she applies?

Maybe she could’ve known Esmeray from medical school?

Seeing other muses in the medical field are inspiring some joint black market clinic potential~

Maybe she could’ve known Rodrigo from when he was doing his work, possibly from Backpage before it got shut down?

On this note, maybe Nikki too? (Hello~)

If there are any other queer muses around, maybe they can shine a community light on her? Potentially while she’s yanking a shank out of their shoulder?

If there are any single muses too, I’d love to develop a ride-or-die boo or friend for her.

Last but not least, if we still need prospects and other make characters I’d be game af to have Beau go AWOL and trade his fatigues for a potential patch (maybe through the Mexican border with Nikki, if she’s gonna hate Bel asdkjfnaks). ♡

𝓐𝓹𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

OUT OF CHARACTER

INTRODUCTION: Sal (24) they/them/theirs ; PST ACTIVITY: I'm in my last year of undergraduate study and will have class three days a week on average. I'll be online at least once a day and will be able to devote most of my week to nitty-gritty writing as well as plotting. PASSCODE: angel wings and/or crown MISCELLANEOUS: I've been running an indie oc rp blog for almost five years (same character @belzinone) and this will be my first group/skeleton/rl fc rp. I'm worried about being ignored/left behind/largely uninvolved in threads and plotting because that has largely been my experience in discord server rp groups, but y'all seem to have good administration going on so I'm not feeling so worried anymore. I look forward to the experience if you'll have me. :)

IN CHARACTER

NAME: Bel Zinone DATE OF BIRTH: (March/08/1991) (28) PLACE OF BIRTH: San Francisco, California GENDER/PRONOUNS: demifemme｜she/her/hers AFFILIATION: N/A RANKING: N/A OCCUPATION: freelance sex worker, hitwoman, & black market physician FACE CLAIM: Antonia Thomas

BIOGRAPHY

triggers: domestic violence, murder, abuse, misandry, severe burns, sex work Her mother was an undocumented immigrant, fleeing from her orphaned past and domestic abuse in the Italian slums. A headstrong, promiscuous, and violent woman, it wasn't long until she found sisterhood amongst a like-minded gang of vigilante women with international influence called the Wallflowers, well-versed in her infamy and coming to her aid while she was pregnant with her son and escaping prosecution for murdering her husband. Risa Zinone, codenamed La Eglantina, docked in New York city, giving birth to her son Beau Zinone and raising him with the rest of her sorella while continuing her bloodthirsty occupation of murdering abusive men and liberating survivors from their regimes of terror. However, one could only run with the Wallflowers for so long before beginning to challenge their belief system, however righteous it claimed to be. The murderer mother fell in love with the black market doctor who saved her life and once again fled across the country and retired so she could live a peaceful life with him, safe from the constraints and watchful eyes of the sisterhood, but not without heavy cost. She suffered major burns to her entire body by a fire and had to undergo near total facial reconstruction, a miracle performed by the love of her life. In exchange for her life, she'd no longer bear resemblance to her children. Thus Bel Zinone was born on the opposite side of the country as her brother, hilly San Franscisco. She was a wildly rambunctious child, calmed only by the sounds of her brother's guitar strings and a profound interest in her father's work. Little did she know, her living was earned via the illicit means of her parents and their continued association with the country's underbelly. Shambled by the loss of one of their most valuable members, the Wallflowers had undergone a civil war. A near complete overhaul of organizational structure and creed had taken place, leading to an abysmal divide between the matriarchal supremacy of days past and the new order. Enemies of the new regime all around the world were sought out, assassinated, and replaced with a stronger, more diverse membership. During that witch hunt, Risa was reinstated into the Wallflowers with her husband Dmitri and the power couple ruled the pacific branch. The Zinone's hid their criminal affiliations well. Dmitri, a renowned surgeon specializing in the central nervous system, Risa, an uptown socialite who moonlighted cabaret clubs as a jazz singer. Their children had a generous, almost spotless adolescence until Beau graduated high school and joined the military. He was an upstanding, self-righteous man, yet his fatigues all but killed the respect his little sister had for him. As the Zinone siblings grew up, their parents had to try all that much harder to hide their criminal affiliations, often leaving the two with ample bonding time and hiding various criminal survival skills (like how to fight and use firearms among other things) under the guise of "street smarts". Combined with her surfacing struggles with her sexuality and gender identity, Beau's abandonment was very hard on Bel. Her high school antics began to resemble those of her mother during her youth, starting fights, finishing others' fights, and getting dress coded nearly every day. If not for physical altercations, the young lady spent most of her time in the principal's office for getting into arguments with teachers and staff over technicalities in her STEM courses and exposing discrimination in curriculums and attitudes throughout. If not for her parents' powerful influence, she never would've dodged juvie, let alone made it to college. Fortunately, she found her calling and started settling down as soon as her father invited her to his workplace in the hospital. College was a breeze for her, even as a fierce insistence to be independent led to her paying her own tuition. She was no party animal or sorority sister, but the continuing troubles she had with her sexuality and gender identity pushed her towards casual sex work and the porn industry when work-study wasn't enough. Bel was steadily making her way through adult life, planning to devote the rest of it to medicine like her father. However, as she started having to use her special "survival skills" more and more, she slowly began to realize there was more to her parents than she thought. The Wallflowers were growing in influence, and La Eglantina's daughter was growing a bounty on her head as well. By the time she cornered her parents with the truth, she was already well into medical school and bore nods of her mother's pseudonym and her father's occupation on her back. The betrayal she felt when her brother left her resurfaced as she uncovered her parents lies, spurring her to cut her familial ties and live her own life exclusively by her own means. Bel rejected her father's footsteps in favor of sex work, something she pursued entirely of her own volition, and eventually found herself amongst the "bunny ranches" in Las Vegas, where her life in the crossfire between the Sinners and Jokers would begin. CHARACTER QUOTE: "Do no harm but take no shit." CHARACTER ANTHEM: Half God Half Devil｜In This Moment

EDIT: Risa Zinone fled from Europe as a result of Romani persecution.

P.S.: I reiterate that this is my first group/skeleton/rl fc rp. This is all pretty overwhelming so please have patience with me and for those of y’all who have a lot of experience with these things, please help me out <3

[jesatria]

Jenna Reads Fire & Blood Part 1: Aegon the Burninator

New Jenna Reads series! I’ve been an Asoiaf mood lately for the first time in a while & got myself a copy of Fire & Blood. The plan is 1 post for each King, though I may deviate from this format for events such as the Dance of the Dragons.

So, let’s get things started with the OG Targ himself, Aegon the Conqueror.

-Bit of background about Daenys the Dreamer convincing her father to move the family to Dragonstone. Other Valyrian houses laughed at them, but they got the last laugh when they were the only dragonlords to survive the Doom. Also, Balerion was actually born in Valyria!

-Aegon marrying both his sisters was unusual, but not unprecedented. Normally he would’ve just married Visenya, but he clearly preferred Rhaenys to her, which is why he decided to marry her as well.

-Curiously no motive is given for Aegon’s conquest. GRRM specifically mentions that beforehand the Targs had traditionally been much more concerned w/ Essos than with Westeros. Aegon had even fought against Volantis during the Century of Blood. No explanation as to why he suddenly became interested in Westeros. IMO he read the PWWP prophecy (one of Daenys the Dreamer’s prophecies, perhaps?) & realized if the PWWP was gonna be born from his family, they needed to get into position to be able to save Westeros. & it’s not like future Targs weren’t obsessed with that prophecy!

-Then, everything changed when the Targs attacked!

-Despite being the Conqueror, Aegon didn’t bring all of the 7 Kingdoms to heel by battlefield conquest. Having the in-universe equivalent of WMDs sure helps convince people to bend the knee to you though.

-Sorry, but all of the kings who thought they could stand against FUCKING DRAGONS on the battlefield are just too dumb to live. What part of he has 3 dragons & he’s not afraid to use them was lost on you, exactly? They should’ve taken the hint after Aegon melted Harrenhal but nope. Special mention goes to King Mern & King Loren here--at this point Aegon had already defeated Harren the Black & Argilac the Arrogant & people saw what the dragons could do. WTF did you guys would think would happen? Props to Torrhen Stark for being like, “Lol nope no way am I facing that on the battlefield.”

-& then there’s the Dornish. The Dornish go hard AF & have no chill. Rhaenys shows up in Sunspear demanding the Martells bend the knee, & Princess Meria, despite being really old & blind, basically says come at me, bro. Rhaenys threatens her w/ fire & blood, & she’s like:

-The Dornish wouldn’t submit to Aegon, but they weren’t going to obligingly mass their forces into a huge army he could roast on the battlefield either. Instead they used guerilla tactics where they basically hid from the dragons when they came. They burned the crops & poisoned the wells when Aegon tried to invade & harassed his troops in the mountains. Meanwhile the Dornish abandoned their castles & hid. Aegon took the castles & was like, “Haha I conquered Dorne” & then left after putting his people in charge. Once he was gone the Dornish rose up to kill everyone he left behind. Meria personally threw the castellan Aegon left in charge of Sunspear out of the top of the Spear Tower. Aegon & his sisters retaliated by burning a bunch of Dornish castles, which prompted the Dornish to launch attacks across the border. They even marched on Oldtown, though they didn’t take it.

-The Dornish are so hardcore they killed a dragon. I think Nymeria would be proud. She led her people on a really dangerous journey to find a place of safety & then the Valyrians show up w/ their bullshit again. Fuck that. The defenders at the Hellholt took down Meraxes w/ a scorpion bolt through the eye. I love this--it’s actually been my headcanon for a while that the Dornish managed to kill either Vhagar or Meraxes while resisting Aegon’s conquest. Rhaenys died in Dorne too, though the exact circumstances of her death are unknown.

-The fighting continued for a while, w/ much of Dorne in bad shape from being repeatedly burned by Aegon. After Meria died, her son Prince Nymor had enough of war & decided to sue for peace. Peace, but not surrender. He is a Martell, after all. He sent his daughter Deria to KL w/ a message for Aegon. It’s unknown what was in the letter he sent, but whatever it was he convinced Aegon to accept peace terms. I like the idea that he threatened to hire a Faceless Man to kill Prince Aenys--that’s exactly the sort of thing the Dornish might do, considering how they’re ok w/ using poison.

-It might’ve cost them a lot, but the Dornish kept their independence. Meria did what all the kings of Westeros failed to do. Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken, motherfuckers.

-Aegon’s sisters held a lot of political influence. This is probably a holdover from Valyria, which seems to have been less sexist than Westeros. They had a policy of arranging betrothals between noble houses from different kingdoms in a bid to create greater unity.

-Aegon made a point of assimilating to Westerosi culture & was very deferential to the Faith. He also didn’t interfere much in the local laws of Westeros & kept the feudal structures in place. The difference was that there was no more fighting between the different kingdoms since they were now under his rule. He also frequently traveled around the realm on royal progresses. Good way to see the realm & also make sure your subjects won’t have the money to rebel against you if they have to pay to put up the whole royal entourage.

-Visenya created the Kingsguard out of concern of Aegon being assassinated.

-Aegon ended up reigning for almost 40 years, which is quite a healthy length of time.

-Which RL King is This Targ: William the Conqueror. Came over the sea to conquer a neighboring country, defeated the king in a famous battle, established a new dynasty

[plumbobpost]

Fanfic Friday: Spotlight on Skell’s Fortune & Romance

Sul sul!

Today Week of Woohoo continues with a very special twist. I have had the opportunity to ask Skell a few questions as part of a new series of posts about storytelling in The Sims community.

Skell’s Fortune & Romance serves as a prequel to the Pleasantview and Strangetown storylines in The Sims 2 from the perspectives of the Caliente sisters, hence the title which references their aspirations. Her story takes place in the time period between the first and second games and fills in the gaps between the contradicting timelines of The Sims, The Sims 2, and The Sims 3. Although the story is largely from Dina’s perspective, it features most of the iconic The Sims 2 characters ranging from Olive Specter to the Tricous to Bella and Mortimer Goth, establishing its own vivid mythology in the process.

In addition to writing, Skell has also created beautiful Maxis-Match content for The Sims 2 and is a frequent contributor to the Totally Maxis Tumblr and the fansite Garden of Shadows.

Without further ado, I’ll let Skell speak for herself.

You’ve said in the past that Fortune & Romance started out as your attempt to make sense of Maxis canon for the premade characters of Neighborhood 1, Pleasantview, and Sunset Valley. How did this evolve from your personal headcanons into a full-fledged story?

“I had played TS2 off and on for years before I was part of the fandom, mostly just goofing around but I had a lot of fun taking pictures and experimenting with posing. One day I discovered Strangetomato’s “Strangetown Here We Come” on TVtropes and was amazed at the way she fleshed out the premade stories from the game. Through her comment section, I discovered the whole fandom and started paying better attention to the premades. Eventually I came up with a backstory for Dina that I really wanted to write and share.”

Why did you choose Nina and Dina Caliente to be your protagonists? Did you ever consider different lead characters?

“It was always gonna be Dina because I was intrigued her backstory with the mysteriously inconsistent Michael Bachelor and the fact that she’s part alien. I wasn’t as interested in Nina until I noticed that she was shy (like me in RL) and also autonomously beating people up all the time. That’s when I realized she was gonna be a co-star and balance to Dina’s antics.”

Instead of ignoring Maxis’ characterization of Dina as a gold digger, you embraced it and made it a focal point of her character. Similarly, you fully acknowledge Nina’s romance aspiration while not making her a heartbreaker. How did you find a balance between their implied “villainy” in The Sims 2 and making them more sympathetic characters?

“I enjoy classic movies where Marilyn Monroe or Thoroughly Modern Millie is like “teehee I’m gonna marry a millionaire,” and it’s quirky rather than villainous. In those stories, she usually falls for a poor guy and chooses love over money (and often he turns out to be secretly rich.) Since Michael didn’t give her a “married a rich sim” memory, I wanted to write Dina the gold-digger as a modern version of that kind of story.”

“Maxis kind of setup Romance sims for “villainy” by not allowing for casual or open relationships, but of course that can be fixed with mods. With Nina, it’s interesting that she doesn’t really fit the “outgoing party girl” type. I think of her as a quiet person with a very intense energy. She needs lots of exercise and woohoo so that she doesn’t explode.”

There are a lot of unconventional relationships in your story. Nina and Servo. Olive and Ichabod. The Tricous. Even Dina and Michael. That being said, there is very definitely a theme of “love conquers all.” What motivated your approach to these relationships? How does that relate back to your attempts at reconciling Maxis canon throughout different games?

“I have a thing for mixed supernatural relationships. Dina and Mike bonding over their hidden supernatural heritages was always key once I figured Michael had a magic side. I knew I wanted to have Nina be intimate with a servo because that’s HAWT, but I didn’t foresee how intimate things would get until I figured out Servo’s character. The Tricous’ happy polyamory was my explanation for all the weirdness going on with their relationships and family tree. And I wanted Olive, Ichabod, and DJ make up this very loving and weirdly “normal” Unholy Family.”

Speaking of reconciling Maxis canon, you created your own version of Michael Bachelor in order to match his appearance in The Sims better and to create a resemblance between him and his famous sister, Bella Goth. Why do you think Michael was depicted so differently throughout the first three games? What did you draw inspiration from in creating “The Ultimate Michael Bachelor?”

“I think it mostly comes down to them wanting to use a familiar name for Bella’s brother/Dina’s husband in TS2, and carrying that forward. In TS3, I saw a boy who had his life all planned out for him by his father. In my headcanon, he screwed that all up and became the graduate of TS1 who had no idea what he wanted to do with his life. His relationship to Bella is the reason why he’s still single by the time he reconnects with Dina, who helps him find direction.”

There is an abundance of strong female characters in F&R, some of which were not originally portrayed that way. Why did you feel that it was important to write them as such?

“Well, because I’m a proud “SJW,” of course! But seriously, it’s less about being strong and more about seeing them as people?”

^Best answer that I could have asked for.

A large portion of Fortune & Romance is dedicated to the mythology of The Sims universe(s) and to supernatural sims. How did you go about the process of world building? Did you draw inspiration from different games in the series and/or from outside sources?

“My biggest worldbuilding is the explanation of where the supernaturals came from. The fairies are sort of fallen angel types who each have an animal form, and their magic rubbed off on human sims to create the supernatural life states.”

“I try to base the worldbuilding off things in game or aspects of game play. The fairy backstory was heavily inspired by fairy tales, in the way they morally test humans for punishment or guidance.”

Aside from premade supernatural sims such as the Smiths, Calientes, and Summerdreams, how did you go about deciding which premade sims were supernatural and which weren’t? How did you decide what life state they were?

“Bella has that awesome bio about being descended from “occultists, decadents, and mystics,” but then in TS3 the Bachelor family is uber-normal, so it eventually became that Jocasta is a squirellier version of Samantha from Betwitched.”

How has Fortune & Romance evolved since you started? Are there things you would do differently if you were to restart it?

“I was such a younger, different person when I started it, and yes there are many things I would do differently. (Michael’s skintone, for example. I tried to split difference between games with a custom skintone in between S2 and S3, but everyone assumes he was whitewashed to S2.)”

“When recreating families for TS4 I came up with a backstory for Dulcinea and Nestor’s relationship as well as a backstory for Don that explains how he got to be the way he is. I still can incorporate these things, but it would have been nice to bring them in earlier.”

With your story having reached a climax, many readers are wondering whether or not F&R will come to an end sooner rather than later. Not to spoil anything, but will the story continue after the party and if so, do you intend for it to last until the events of The Sims 2?

“I never intended for it to last until the events of TS2 because then it would be really depressing. There is more stuff planned for after the party though!”

Aside from writing Fortune & Romance, you have also created a variety of Maxis-match custom content. Why do you prefer working in this aesthetic? How do you feel it complements your writing?

“The game is cartoony, and I like to use that style to tell the story. I prefer to keep things heightened and silly rather than realistic, which very much fits into The Sims aesthetic.”

Speaking of Maxis-match, you have been working on a project for The Sims 2 that involves adapting Maxis-based custom content to blend in better with the game files. Would you mind elaborating a bit on The Maxis Match Repository Project?

“The TS2 repository project is made up of conversions/separates/or otherwise adapted Maxis which pull their textures from the ones that are already in your game, rather than creating new ones. This makes the files much much tinier. I also wanted to create a catalog where you can easily find it all in one place rather than hunt all over the internet. Check it out and don’t miss out on the gems in the back of your catalog!”

You’ve played every main game in The Sims franchise, and you’ve even made some very popular 2t4 recreations of the Calientes and Michael Bachelor. Do you have a favorite game for playing? Creating sims? Making Content? Building?

“I enjoy a lot of things about TS4. The game looks great and CAS and Build Mode are the best of any game. My favorite aspect is making sims, especially that you can share sims with traits/careers/skills so they have their own little story packaged with them. However, it is much more difficult for storytelling since there’s not even a way to pick up sims and move them around.”

“TS2 is still the best as far as premade sims go, and it’s the only one I make content for. I’m a bit of a control freak with my sims, and TS2 has been mastered by fans at this point where you can have ultimate control.”

Why do you continue to play The Sims? Do you feel that the games provide a creative outlet?

“I always loved playing with Barbies as a kid and The Sims really is the ultimate dollhouse. The first time I ever heard about TS1 I knew I HAD to have it. My aunt bought it for me while I was on vacation, but I couldn’t play it until we got home! During the car ride back home and I read that manual from cover to cover multiple times, so many ideas buzzing in my head.”

Any parting comments, teasers, spoilers, public service announcements, etc.?

“I’ve been on hiatus a long while and am just now getting back into the swing of things. I’m currently working on finishing up the chapter I started posting on Tumblr but never finished. It was FreddyAirmail who got me back in the TS2 spirit by asking me to help out with the Crystal Springs neighborhood project. It’s a community hood with houses based on each of the Stuff Packs, and I made the families for Teen Style and Family Fun!”

Thanks again to Skell for answering my questions. To those of you out there who aren’t familiar with her work, go check out her Tumblr and make sure to catch up on Fortune & Romance.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to visit my ask box. If you are interested, give Plumbob Post a follow, and reblog for anyone else who you think would enjoy this blog. Stay tuned for upcoming posts!

Dag dag!

 *Photo Credits go to Skell*

[bendthetrendshop]

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[cakelanguage]

Haha remember how I apologized for the delay on the last chapter? I’m apologizing again :’) RL is still hitting me in a bad way and I’ve been sick, but here it is, chapter 4 of my fill for the DA Kink Meme prompt of Dorian being a young boy during DA: Inquisition!

First//Previous//Next

You can also read it on AO3

Waiting in the Chantry was one of the more boring times of Dorian’s life. The Chantry sisters switched between regarding him as a helpful and “adorable” young man and a snake infesting their church pews. Needless to say, Dorian had quickly gotten used to the sudden switches in demeanor directed at him and took it with his head held high. Ponchard had warned him after all. But as long as he helped out with the church they didn’t seem inclined to send him away.

He read the Chant of Light on numerous occasions, after sweeping and switching out candles for fresh ones. It was comforting in a way, different than the Imperial Chant of Light, but he’d always been more inclined to Andrastianism anyway. The sisters thought him odd for reading their texts, but they allowed it and would accompany any read verse with an admonishment of Tevinter and to himself.

It was the most amusing parts of his days usually.

Felix couldn’t get away too often but he’d come to the church when he could and they’d lay out possible plans to take down Alexius. The Herald was still a wild card to them so they weren’t sure how they’d play a part in this whole thing. Hopefully they’d be willing to cooperate with them. If not, they’d try to come up with something.

They didn’t touch the possibility of having to kill Alexius.

On the twelfth day at the church, he received word from Felix that he’d been able to make contact with the Herald through a truly skillful bit of acting. It’d be difficult to escape his father’s watchful eyes, but Dorian knew that Felix could handle it. So he waited for Felix and the Herald’s arrival.

The sisters were out, doing their duties while he was left to straighten around the church. It worked in his favor truthfully, he didn’t know how else he would have gotten them to leave the church. His chores were easy and only took him an hour or so to complete.

And then a rift opened in the bloody church.

He’d felt the condensed magic before he saw it. It literally looked like a tear had formed in the space in front of him. Green wisps and little bolts of electricity sparked along the edges and out a distance. Then there were the peculiar rings of magic scattered on the floor. He didn’t know if this is what usually happened with rifts or if it was because of Alexius’ research. His musings were cut short when the first demon appeared.

Long, gangly limps and a gaping maw full of sharp teeth were the first things he noticed before focusing on the multitude of eyes on its head. He’d of course seen demons before, in his dreams and during his harrowing but they’d disguised themselves to try and tempt him. To be honest, he’d almost believed they didn’t have a true form if it weren’t for some of the depictions he’d seen in books. He’d never really gotten to look at a demon without its mask in person. It was both terrifying and left him in horrified awe.

It wasn’t the only demon to come out as soon he was staring at a Shade demon. Its hunched frame did little to ease Dorian’s climbing nerves. He couldn’t ponder any longer if he wanted to live. He lifted his staff and cast a quick barrier spell before shooting fire at the Terror.

The shriek it released echoed deafeningly around the church, but Dorian continued on casting spells and protecting himself the best he could. It was a simple enough set-up, he just had to keep his shields up and keep casting spells to defeat the demons as they came through. But this couldn’t last forever. Eventually he knew that he’d run out of mana to cast and then he’d have to rely on his own strength and ingenuity to survive until help arrived. Whenever that may be.

His arms shook and his hands had grown numb from the residual magic sparking across them. He let out a startled yelp as he felt a demon’s claws swipe at him just as his barrier fell. He took a few hurried steps away, his feet suddenly feeling awkward and clumsy as he tried to regain his bearings. But he couldn’t fall back into the same rhythm as before, too plagued were his thoughts now with the possibilities that he could die.

Dorian knew he was a powerful and formidable mage, a mage that many in Tevinter had envied, even some Magisters seemed to regard him with an almost respect. But he was one man, one boy not yet fourteen facing a group of demons by himself. The onslaught never seemed to wain; as soon as all the present demons fell, within a few moments the rift would spit out more.

He cursed, throwing a sputtering ball of flames at a wraith, missing entirely and feeling his stomach lurch as it faded out. He had barely any mana left, certainly not enough for any large attacks. Perhaps he could form another barrier but he didn’t want to risk it. He had to rely on his own strength now.

He swiped his staff at a nearby shade, the blade catching on its rotting flesh. Refusing to lose his new momentum, he spun around and clubbed another. He felt oddly like one of the dancers his mother enjoyed. So focused on battling the demons, he almost didn’t hear the chantry doors open. A warning was on his tongue before he saw who’d come through.

It was a group from what Dorian could see, at least four of them, armed and looking cautious. Dorian honestly didn’t think much beyond that, he just knew he needed help. Loathe as he was to admit it.

“Please,” Dorian started, panting as he struck down one more, “help me try and drive them back.”

“Drive them back?” One of the strangers asked.

Dorian grunted as he rolled away from one of the demons. “To the rift or whatever, I-I heard that the Herald is in Redcliffe, if one of you could just-“ He swung his staff at a wraith, the wood passing almost all the way through it without so much as a reaction from the thing. “Please if you can get the Herald they can-“

The group who had entered was suddenly in action and all too soon Dorian felt himself being lifted and brought near the back of the Chantry, away from the rift. He might have felt insulted if he weren’t so exhausted. He’d just have to do what he could from there.

“Watch out for the circles,” Dorian warned, propping himself up slightly with his staff.

“Circles? Kid, is this any time for a mage joke?” The dwarf, now that Dorian noticed, chuckled.

He huffed. “They affect the time, just- just try to avoid them as much as you can.”

He heard a grunt from the front of the Chantry followed by the sound of a large object, presumably the person’s weapon, struck one of the pillars. “Don’t have to tell me to stay away from magic crap,” he shouted.

Very quickly the number of demons dwindled down to zero and then he saw it: a man with his hand reaching out towards the rift, bright green sparks coming from his glowing hand. It was almost beautiful to watch. With a clench of his fist, the rift closed with a boom.

Without the threat of demons and the rift in the room, Dorian took the time to examine the Herald. He was tall, broad shouldered like Rilienius but his muscles were lithe like Felix’s had been before his illness. His hair, pulled out of his face and into a messy tail behind his head, was dark, most likely black in the right lighting. His vallaslin was done in copper tones and branched across his cheeks in different shapes and dots.

He might have fallen a bit in love. Before he could stop himself he started talking.

“Extraordinary,” He commented, a smile working its way on his face. “How does that work? Is it a form of magic? From the Breach? Or, oh, what is it that those people are whispering, Andraste?”

The dwarf laughed. “Kid, might want to slow down, the Herald here is a bit slow,” he said.

The Herald furrowed his brows and sent a glare at the dwarf. “Varric, I’m hurt that you’d say such a thing about me,” he replied, a hand going to his chest. “I thought we were friends.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself, Herald.”

The sound of a clearing throat brought Dorian’s attention to the woman that was approaching the Herald. “Are we ignoring the situation at hand?” She asked, sending a pointed look towards where Dorian was standing. “We were sent to meet here and there just happens to be a rift? Doesn’t that seem suspicious?”

Dorian spoke up before anyone else could. “That’s why Felix called you here, because that keeps happening,” he said matter-of-factly.

The Herald’s eyebrows creeped up his forehead. “Rifts like the one outside of Redcliffe?” He asked. Dorian nodded his head. “And you know Felix? We were supposed to meet him here.”

“That would be Alexius’ doing, he has a habit of frantically fluttering around Felix like he’ll break apart if he isn’t watching when he has an episode, even a fake one like he was planning.” Not that Dorian blamed him. If Dorian was around Felix more he might be the same way, but Felix might tolerate him acting that way more than he does with his father. One of the few luxuries of being thirteen. “But allow me to introduce myself,” he gave a flourished bow, “Dorian of house Pavus. How do you do?”

He heard a groan and turned his attention to the person who made it, only to feel his stomach clench when he saw who made the noise. He was tall, he’d tower over Dorian, with horns that stuck out from either side of his head like a bull’s. The Herald had a Qunari in his party?!

“Didn’t know they let little ‘vints like you outside of those circles until you were older,” the Qunari commented, walking closer. Dorian resisted the urge to take a step back, but clutched his staff tighter.

“Y-You have a Q-Qunari in your party?” Dorian asked, trying not to stutter.

The Herald smiled as if it was a funny question. “Who Bull?” He asked before waving his hand as if to brush Dorian’s fears away, as if it were that simple. “Don’t worry, as long as you aren’t a threat to the Inquisition you shouldn’t be too worried.” Suddenly the man’s eyes were much sharper. “You aren’t a threat to the Inquisition, are you?”

Dorian was quick to shake his head. It wouldn’t do for him to already make the Inquisitor wary of him. “I’m here to help, as you might have guessed.”

“Does Alexius run a private circle? You can’t be more than twelve.”

Dorian clenched his teeth, feeling a twinge of annoyance. “I’m thirteen actually, and no Alexius does not run a private circle.” He stood up straighter, “I’m a fully capable mage, well on my way to earning the title Enchanter.”

The Herald and his party gave him a bewildered look. “Already?” The Herald asked.

“That’s a lot of power for such a small body, kid,” the dwarf, Varric commented with a whistle. Dorian grinned, feeling himself puff up like a haughty peacock.

“As impressive as the boy’s achievements are, Felix should have been here by now,” the woman said, crossing her arms.

The Qunari loomed behind the Herald. “Boss, you think it’s a trap?” he asked.

Dorian bristled at the comment. “It’s not a trap,” he huffed. “Look, Alexius was my mentor, I know what we’re dealing with,” his demeanor drooped, “well, at least somewhat. He hasn’t been my mentor for quite some time. We… had a bit of a falling out.”

“And you’re okay with betraying your mentor? Just like that?” The Herald asked.

He rolled his eyes. “Look, you must know there’s danger. That should be obvious even without the note. For starters, there’s that whole thing about Alexius claiming the allegiance of the mage rebels from you. I know Grand Enchanter Fiona approached you first, she must have or you wouldn’t be here to see her in the first place.” He tapped his lips with a finger as if to ponder the statement. “Isn’t that odd? As if by magic, yes? Which is exactly right. To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition, Alexius distorted time itself.”

The Herald looked bewildered. “He arranged it so he could arrive her just after the Divine died?”

“You catch on quick. The rift you closed here?” He gestured to the spot where the rift had been. “You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down. Soon there will be more like it, and they’ll appear further and further away from Redcliffe.” He sighed. “The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it’s unraveling the world.”

The Herald raised an eyebrow. “You’re asking me to take a lot on faith.”

“More than faith is needed to believe that boss,” the Qunari, ‘Bull’ grumbled.

He couldn’t blame them for their skeptical looks, but it still felt like a blow to his pride that they weren’t taking him seriously. His face scrunch into an almost snarl. “I know what I’m talking about. I helped develop this magic.” He winced at the sudden increase in hostility being directed at him, but continued explaining. “When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory. Alexius could never get it to work. The only reason he had renewed interest in the topic was about curing Felix, but even then, from what I understood, Alexius had still been unable to get it to work.“

“But you helped him with it originally?” the woman asked, her voice tight. “You thought it was okay to muddle with time, for what? Curiosity sake?”

“Not only that, but why go against him now?” the Herald added, crossing his arms. “Sure he isn’t your mentor anymore, but you don’t have a reason to work against him suddenly.”

Before Dorian could defend himself and Felix, he felt a hand on his shoulder. “My father needs to be stopped for the sake of the world. Dorian and I are fully aware of this and ready to go against him,” Felix said firmly. Dorian sagged a bit into Felix. Finally someone on his side. “Though I don’t blame you for being wary.”

Dorian gave him a smile. “Nice of you to finally join us Felix,” he said. His voice was missing some of its previous confidence but he hoped no one noticed. “Alexius make you take more medicine?”

Felix groaned. “Unfortunately, I might have overdone my acting a bit.”

He snorted. “I can’t believe he actually fell for it, you’re a terrible actor.”

“I can act just fine, not all of us can perform like a peacock, Dorian.”

Dorian was ready to shoot back a reply when the clearing of a throat stopped him. “As nice as this is, I think we should focus on the matter at hand,” the Herald said, though he was smiling. Dorian felt his face flush at the sight.

Felix too looked abashed. “Apologies, Herald,” he mumbled. “As you might have guessed from what Dorian has told you, my father is doing all this for me. He’s joined a cult. Tevinter supremacists.” Dorian wrinkled his nose at that. Really, why do his countrymen have to make a bad name for them? “They call themselves ‘Venatori.’”

“That’s still such an absurd name,” Dorian commented. Felix lightly smacked him upside the head for interrupting, but kept his hand on Dorian’s head.

“As I was saying before being rudely interrupted,” Felix said pointedly, ruffling Dorian’s hair and ignoring the small sound of protest. “Whatever my father’s done for them, he’s done it to get to you.”

The Herald tilted his head. “Seems a bit excessive, don’t you think? Going to all that trouble just to get to me?”

Felix shrugged. “They’re obsessed with you, but I don’t know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes?” He mused.

Dorian shook his head. “You can close the rifts,” Dorian reminded them. “Maybe there’s a connection? Or they see you as a threat?”

His brother nodded. “If the Venatori are behind those rifts, or the Breach in the sky, they’re even worse than I thought,” Felix warned.

“Alexius is your father,” the woman said. “Why are you working against him?”

“For the same reason Dorian’s working against him,” Felix answered. “I love my father, and I love my country. But this? Cults? Time magic? What he’s doing now is madness.”

“And not even the good kind,” Dorian muttered, receiving another light tap on his head.

“Hush,” Felix hissed before turning his attention back to the group. “For his own sake, you have to stop him.”

“It would also be nice if he didn’t rip a hole in time,” Dorian mused. “There’s already a hole in the sky. I think the world could do with a few less holes, don’t you think?”

The Herald nodded, though his eyebrows had climbed higher and higher up his forehead throughout the conversation. “All this for me? And here I didn’t get Alexius anything,” he joked.

Dorian felt heat rise to his cheeks. Oh no, the Herald was funny too? “S-send him a fruit basket. Everyone loathes those,” He recommended, earning him a grin from both the Herald and Varric. “You’re his target, you know. Expecting the trap is the first step in turning it to your advantage. You’ve got that now so you can plan your next course of action.”

Felix cleared his throat. “Dorian can’t stay in Redcliffe,” he said. Dorian shot him a confused look. Why couldn’t he stay here? “My father doesn’t know he’s here, and I want to keep it that way for now.”

“But Felix—“

“I mean it Dorian, it isn’t safe for you to be here right now.” Felix bent down to look him face-to-face. “I know you want to be here when the Inquisition is ready to deal with Father, and you’ll need to be here because none of us have a clue about what he’s dabbling in, but not now.”

He felt his eyes water slightly and blinked them away as quickly as he could. “Then where can I go if I’m not here with you?” He asked, his voice soft. It shouldn’t have bothered him to be told he couldn’t stay here, it wasn’t like the Sisters liked him, but Felix was here and this was all new territory for him.

Felix turned his head to look at the Herald. “Can I entrust him to you for the time being?” He asked, standing up straight once more. “Dorian is a hard worker and listens to orders most of the time. He’s still small for his age and doesn’t eat very much. He’ll sleep wherever you put him, he won’t take up much space or resources. All I ask is that you keep him safely out of Redcliffe until you’re ready to deal with my father.”

“Felix!” Dorian shouted, eyes wide. They had only just met the Herald and already Felix was trusting him and his Inquisition to look after him. “I-I can just stay with you, I’ll stay hidden I promise o-or camp! I can camp just a little ways from Redcliffe.”

“And get caught up in the mages and Templars that are battling around the Hinterlands? I don’t think so.”

“B-but—“

“We can take the kid,” Varric cut in, taking a step forward with a smile on his face. “We can make sure he’s safe, right Herald?”

The Herald gave Dorian another once over before looking at the woman who scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Yes, I believe we can do that,” he agreed. “On one condition.” Felix gestured for him to continue while Dorian was looking rapidly between the two men. “If he’s alright with it, I’d like Bull to watch him, if Dorian is actually a spy or anything along those lines, I trust Bull to notice.”

“Whatever you say, boss, I can look after the little ‘vint,” ‘Bull’ said, shrugging his large shoulders.

Dorian felt something heavy settle in his stomach. He was trying to stay open minded about all the races in Thedas, but he’d seen what the Qunari did to mages. To their own mages. He’d seen the fires of Sehron from Qarinus, the smoke that blocked out the sun some days with the faintest smell of dying flesh. It was mildly better nowadays, but he still remembered looking at the sight as a child with trepidation.

Obviously this Qunari had to be at least slightly decent because the Herald had… hired him? Perhaps Tal Vashoth? He’d have to be okay with it, seeing as how it was all decided that he’d go with the Herald.

“Dorian,” Felix said softly, beckoning him closer. As soon as he was close enough, Felix pulled him into an embrace. He fisted the excess fabric around Felix’s waste and buried his face deep enough to feel the bones of Felix’s ribs. “Gather your things if you don’t already have them, alright? I need you to stay safe. Be good for the Inquisition and I’ll see you soon.”

Dorian nodded and sniffled into Felix’s robes. “Alright,” he mumbled, pulling back and giving him a watery smile. He walked over to the corner he’d set his knapsack in, picking up a few extra pieces of parchment and a copy of the Chant of Light and carefully packing them. He slung his bag over his shoulder and quickly walked back over to Felix, giving him one last hug. “Be safe Felix,” he poked him in the chest, “try not to die please.”

Felix gave him one of those smiles, the ones he’d give Dorian when he’d say something that showed how young Dorian actually was. “There are worse things than dying, Dorian.” He ran a hand through Dorian’s hair before turning his attention back to the Herald and his group. “Thank you for looking out for him. I look forward to hearing from you and the Inquisition soon.” With a final wave goodbye, Felix was gone and he was left with the Herald and the Inquisition members.

“I suppose it’s back to Haven then,” the Herald decided, sending Dorian a wink, “Got to introduce our new member to the rest of the advisors after all.”

Dorian hoped he was ready for what he was going to face.

[cjolive]

3/17/2019

Before I even started I took a deep breath. I sometimes think back on my old tumblr days. Once upon a time, I was stressed every day with one problem or another. Shit, it’s been a long time. To quote the new Spider-verse movie. “Let’s do this one more time.” 

When I was a young ambitious kid I had a lot of talent. I was a sports boy. Soccer. Basketball. Softball. Baseball. Frisbee Golf. Ultimate Frisbee. Tennis. Track. Biking. The list could go on, but I honestly don’t have the thought process right now to do so. I was active, that’s the point. I was around town a lot, playing with my school team and with the town’s team during summer. I had a lot of connections and met a lot of strange people. It was odd because I was raised Lutheran, and I was in a Christian town. Yet, I met all of these people that were not religious and that really opened my eyes. I saw a lot of things I wasn't supposed to like or do.  I met people I shouldn’t have. I went to places I shouldn’t have. It rounded me out before Highschool. Queue Asthma and a disease affecting my knees. Sports were now out of my life. Luckily! The internet and video games were on the rise, and I was hooked. 

So It’s the summer before my Freshman year. For two years now I’ve been playing World of Warcraft with one of my newfound friends Anthony. My first internet only friend. You know the guy my mom thought was a murderer or rapist for the first few months. We’re talking about Highschool, and we’re nervous about what will unfold, but also excited. Anthony lived in Cali, so we wouldn’t meet until after Highschool. Although, my grade school friend Nick is going to the same school as me. It’s away from my hometown, we’ll both be meeting new faces. He tells me his sister thinks all grade school relationships die in Highschool. It did for a time, but now we’re still friends. I’m proud of that, and I’m proud of the man Nick has become. 

Eventually, we get to Highschool and I meet one kid that turns my life upside down. His name is Wade. Total jock, classic meathead... You know at first sight anyway. I was lucky he sat with me and Nick at the lunch table on the first day. It turns out me and him would get along so well he’d still be my best RL friend to date. We connected on a level that was strange for me. I was a bit nerdy and different so I thought our types just wouldn’t clash. That’s when I learned not everyone hates you for liking video games. Believe me, that’s common knowledge now, but years ago people would make fun of you for playing games. They weren’t as accepted as they are now, especially in small Lutheran communities who at first disliked a lot of gaming tropes. The blood, violence, and gore. That and the idea they waste too much time. Regardless we clicked and it did wonders for me. I showed him a world of nerdy shit he fell in love with, and he showed me how to stand proud of what I liked and who I was. I’m sure if you ask him he’ll probably see it another way, but this isn’t about us so much so we’re skimming. 

High school was a trip. Besides the few good people I came across and the experiences I had, the others were not so good. I had bullies. I had enemies. I got in trouble. I made mistakes. I was a depressed and broken kid with a depressed and broken family. We’ve grown from that. We’re better now. I fell in love. Then I tried to love two others. Eventually years later, after High school, another. I have a lot of love to give, but I don’t think it’s meant for someone else just yet. I’m still learning to love myself, and you know what, It’s working. Every day I can see myself growing wiser, stronger, better, nicer. Some days I tear myself down, but that’s natural. We overcome those downs and learn to encourage the highs. 

Now that I’m out of High school and avoiding all the old devious habits of mine I’ve become what I like to call a better person. I didn’t mention any of it here, but I’ve partaken in a lot of actions I wouldn’t call Christian. I still consider myself one, and for that reason, I felt a lot of guilt. Still, I’m not the type of Religious man to judge harshly, quickly, or unfairly. I don’t think some Lutherans would call me a Lutheran, but because of a Pastor I had in high school I’ve learned to see us differently. We are human, we’re not all the same. My brother is gay, and that is one of the first lessons I had to learn when I realized. Our family had to realize our close-mindedness wasn’t something from religion. Our original church demonstrated acts I wouldn’t call Christian. My views on religion are tilted, but they still remain a solid pillar for me. Anyways... I’m trailing. 

Those old school days. Once prized but quickly forgotten. I hardly think of those four years now, but certain people and memories come to mind at random. From weird strings of thoughts to unlucky dreams at night. You’ll see someone you’ve moved on from and it brings you right back. Dreams. Vivid dreams. My mind can fabricate fairy tales and visions through the simple act of sleep. I’ve tried to be open, and I still do. Ask me anything I will do my best to answer. No more secrets. No more lies. I think of my past and cringe. I could have done better. To those I recall but do not name here I am sorry and thankful. We’ve had experiences and emotions; connections I wouldn’t have obtained anywhere else. I still have drama take place in my life from time to time again. A few months ago I questioned my place within my friend group. I felt myself slipping, but I’m stronger now. I’ve been growing as a person with every day that passes. I lost friends and gained others. There are still people I wish to reconnect with even if just to apologize or to obtain closure. Until I gain the courage to do that I’ll continue to think about my actions and if that would benefit me or not. I must also consider if that would benefit them or not. For now, I’ll stand back and simply think. 

I have come to a new Era in my life. I am the best version of myself that has ever existed thus far. I know who I am. I know what I want to do. I know who my friends are. I know my position in life and love my family. Things are better now and now I can finally work towards my future. I’m streaming. Eventually, I will build a community with my own two hands. We will entertain and live life the way we want to. A company made by friends for friends. To reach towards everyone with an open hand and let them know there are still good people sitting around waiting to meet you. We’ll entertain you, that is the idea, but we also want to connect with you. As I walk this path I will not simply meet coworkers and viewers. I will meet future partners and friends. We can work together to create a place where we can all be ourselves. I know to someone who doesn’t exactly understand what I’m talking about that may sound strange, but I’m proud of that fact. I don’t want to dive into my excitement for my future plans with streaming and company building or I won’t finish this recap of my life. 

The point is I’ve gone through a lot and that’s what made me what I am now. As the person, I am now, I will move forward with wide eyes and a clear vision. I’ll take help and give help to my friends along the way. Still, I am nervous, just like those High School days. Unknown events await me and I’m not sure I’m ready. I wish to love again, but I’m scared I won’t have time for love and a career in my field. I want to become an even better person, but it’s hard to mark my progress. I want to know If I have a bright future ahead, but I’m nervous I won’t live that long. As of tonight, I am a simple boy with a mind finally ready to explore the depth of his ability. Yet tonight I am also sick. I’ve neglected my health for some time and now it may be coming back to get me. I’ve had an illness the last week and I’m not sure how serious it is. Due to its location and symptoms, it could be very dangerous or nothing at all. What is sure is that it’s hard to tell. Normally I wouldn’t be worried, it’s just...

Now that the stars seem to have lined up in my favor I’m scared I won’t become all that I can be.

Life can turn the tables on you at any minute. 

To the people, I’ve come to know. I love you all.

To the enemies, I’ve made in the past. I’ve forgiven you, and I’m sorry I’ve done some things I’m not proud of. 

To my family, I wish for a future where I can repay you for the things you’ve done for me. 

To my friends, stay who you are and continue down the path YOU’VE made. I’ve enjoyed all the time we’ve spent together and appreciated all the conversations we’ve shared. We never know when we’re going to die, and with this at least I don’t have to worry about it as much. 

I use to come here when depressed, but I’ve grown from that. Writing my mind is important to me. To give those who wish to see, a glimpse of what is in me. An opportunity for words to be shared that would otherwise go unsaid. A way for me to be all that I can be.

I wish to grow alongside all of you. I want to see exactly how great we can all become. We are all living our own story. Make every chapter count.