#// I also need to go find that coat I used for their ref forever ago and post it to here

[sanctified-sanctuary]

Valentine lets out their own pleased hum, giving Salvatore a good and proper once over, not bothering to hide it as their eyes comb his person head to toe and back once more. 〝Though you may share a fate and, as you say, a face- I don't think there is a single reasonable soul out there that would be able to confuse your presence for another's. You've an air about you, an energy in how you carry yourself, I've seen very few with it and none with quite the ease you hold yourself.〞

A small smile spreads across their face, their eyes wrinkling slightly as they speak an almost whisper soft tone. 〝No, there would be- could be no mistaking you for another regardless of how similar you may appear at a glance. Wouldn't you agree Eve?〞 The trance Valya has caught themself in breaking as they remember their uncharacteristically quiet shadow.

While the two creatures have been speaking business, Evangeline slipped away to a far corner of the dilapidated warehouse and returned unseen with two large furs in hand. A large sleek white one, surely her own based on her present dress, and a slightly shorter taupe coat with long vertical stripes of dark brown and greys and a textured pattern to the fibers. 〝Surely not, anyone worth their salt would be able to spot the good doctor from leagues away without a moment's hesitation.〞

Valya nods in both a motion of agreeance and direction, silently asking her to place their fur on the table since they have no desire to don it yet. 〝Population control? As much as the offer sounds appealing I promise you I am more than capable of such a thing, I can't say if I would find much pleasure in a deal with someone of her calling if what you say is true. I would certainly be remiss to pass over the opportunity to speak with you at greater lengths however, it could turn out to be a great partnership if you wish it.〞

And how they wish he would, since Sal first made himself known there's been a tug from Valentine's very core pulling them to him, their urge to know- to understand- being stoked to incredible heights. The way he speaks, the timbre of his voice, his posture and musculature, and his eyes above all else- combined it is drawing upon the core of Valya's being in ways they have only experienced in dreams and it is their driving intent to know everything there is to uncover about Salvatore.

〝You spoke of limiting yourself of our indulgences, perhaps we could persuade you to join us one night- your lands or ours. I see no need to limit our dealings to strict formalities. We have all the time in the world after all.〞 Eve chiming in again, an open invitation to join them on the hunt, somewhat unusual though not unheard of. While some choose to see hunting as a solitary activity, for others of a more social disposition it can be quite the bonding experience provided none in attendance mind sharing.

❝ well if that is the case , i suppose my clients can tend to their wounds without my assistance . ❞ a hand pushes through his hair , an idle action — far more relaxed and unguarded than he might've seemed before . ❝ i understand the sentiment . it is not often i allow myself to indulge , but , ah . medical work has it's advantages . no one ever really notices a few litres missing when you're in a position of care . ❞

it is somewhat of a dark statement , and whether he means he bites those who are too far gone to react to treatment or whether he took blood from donation banks wasn't clear . though , perhaps this is enough to express salvatore's cunning ; and the greys of his moral .

his eyes flit to the side at valya's next question , a pinch to the eye that suggests an unpleasant feeling . ❝ yes . . . i suppose i was quite fortunate . i merely wished to let you know in advance — lest there be any confusion . he and i are reflections of one another ; we share the same face and fate , so to speak . ❞ then , salvatore smiles , the pinch vanishing . whether or not he felt pleased about his predicament is not clear either , though perhaps with time this information would come to light . ❝ though i still find it quite amusing when he is addressed as though he were myself . ❞

a nod of understanding follows next , and salvatore hums , musing . ❝ an ally in thought . . . ah , well . you will not find that in her . though if you're ever in need of population . . . control , i can attempt to put a good word in for you . ❞ though he recognises the olive branch , and metaphorically does he decide to grasp it . ❝ myself , however ? i could certainly try to offer my thoughts should it please you . i'll admit with the little company i keep , it is difficult not to be tempted by your request . ❞

[junker-town]

Klay Thompson is the most accidentally funny player in the NBA

Klay Thompson brings us so much joy, and he doesn’t even need to try.

Klay Thompson’s NBA career has been a blast. We know him for his scoring outbursts that leave us scrambling for NBA Twitter, but also the moments off the court that somehow leave us laughing every time.

Thompson doesn’t try to be a comedian. There are NBA players who want to make us all laugh like Joel Embiid, but Thompson is able to do so just by being his average self. Because of that, we get these unique moments that we can all relish together.

Most recently, Thompson was seen sporting this coat, looking like he was unamused with the reporters around him.

The looks on his face, combined with the saucy fur trim, is priceless, especially after a basketball game.

Postgame Klay pic.twitter.com/8cTsllRqVG

— Logan Murdock (@loganmmurdock) December 18, 2018

The phrase “big mood” is thrown around often, but this one is truly relatable. Personally, that’s my reaction after somebody claims in the year 2018 that the Warriors are ruining basketball. It’s old.

After a win over the Kings, he gave this legendary postgame interview that made zero sense.

At the same time, it made a ton of sense, because only Thompson could deliver such a scene for us to enjoy. He was clearly tongue tied, and couldn’t quite recover.

KLAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY pic.twitter.com/9wAerO4uVP

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) December 15, 2018

Because Thompson just let it happen, we were treated to a very human moment that we could all appreciate, because most of us would probably be scrambling to find the words, too.

But yeah, he really missed the mark there.

Thompson has also acknowledged a double entendre that you were probably too afraid to admit you laughed at.

Then-Warriors sideline reporter Ros Gold-Onwude asked Thompson, “How much do you feed off of the D?” and the question was too on the nose for him to not giggle at.

To Thompson’s credit, he still managed to do a good job of keeping the interview going like a professional in the moment.

He’s also expanded his interview repertoire by participating in man on the street interviews for local news.

Imagine just turning on your local news, and instead of a random citizen in your area, there’s NBA Champion Klay Thompson talking to a microphone.

So @warriors Klay Thompson @KlayThompson just casually getting interviewed on local NY News @fox5ny talking about building scaffolding... pic.twitter.com/Zhiwrw0in0

— Michael P (@MP_Trey) November 21, 2017

Talking about scaffolding on local news is one of the many Forrest Gump-like qualities that Thompson possesses.

Thompson has his accidentally funny on the court moments too though, like when he raised the roof after an Andre Iguodala dunk.

Raising the roof hasn’t been a thing since ... a long time. But Thompson felt inspired to do the gesture, and it kind of worked?

guys. klay thompson raised the roof after that iggy dunk. im gone. pic.twitter.com/coCo2buvuR

— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) April 23, 2017

When you do as much winning as the Warriors do, you can make the most dated references seem trendy. I wouldn’t say that raising the roof is coming back anytime soon, but we’re also not inclined to question it’s legitimacy as much as we would if, let’s say, JaVale McGee did it.

There was also that time he definitely read the box score wrong, acknowledged it, and moved on.

In similar move to his interview, Klay stumbled over his words until he decided he was through.

Klay Thompson badly misreads stat sheet: "Is that right? Nope, nevermind. 15. Way off" pic.twitter.com/TYmP7o0M1a

— Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) May 25, 2016

You gotta respect the guy for just keeping things moving, even if they’re embarrassing. That Don’t Give A Shit attitude is even funnier in a setting like a press conference.

Thompson has also given us one of the best spontaneous moments after a game, when he took a swig of a Coors Light.

Drinking a beer seems like a fitting way to celebrate a road win in Toronto, you just wouldn’t expect that to happen during the middle of an interview. But Thompson does not care, which is how I think we all like to envision ourselves as professional athletes.

View this post on Instagram

Talking to Klay after tonight's game and he just took this beer out of nowhere..lol. Pretty sure he got the meaning of Beijing Yemen.#goldenstatewarriors #klaythompson #torontoraptors #coorslight @thedevingray

A post shared by 徐舜之 (@xsz_in_to) on Nov 16, 2016 at 10:02pm PST

The refreshed and unbothered “ahhhh” after he takes a sip makes it a trillion times better.

Thompson also signed a toaster, of all things. But it wasn’t just him signing it that was funny.

His reaction in this photograph couldn’t be more appropriate. Thompson looks equally confused by what has been presented to him, but not so disgusted that he wouldn’t sign it.

The Warriors went 31-2 and won a championship after Thompson signed the toaster. These two things are related.

He had a good time at Steph Curry’s 30th birthday, but it took an unexpected twist.

Thompson’s doing what we’d all do at a setting like this: dancing, enjoying himself, not caring much about what’s going on around him. It’s a very relatable vibe, until he decides that he’s going to throw his shoe:

It's the return of China Klay! Watch 18 minutes of Klay Thompson, Coach Mike Brown and the Warriors dancing at Steph Curry's 30th Birthday party: https://t.co/EnSNTtVepI pic.twitter.com/Sg5Uz88oEW

— Ballislife.com (@Ballislife) March 13, 2018

The floor is probably wet and disgusting, and I’d imagine Thompson is wearing a pair of shoes that aren’t exactly cheap. I guess anything goes though when one is lit.

The ensuing Warriors practice was cancelled after Curry’s birthday, because Steve Kerr is a real one.

But the greatest funny accident of them all has been the birth of the alter ego that is China Klay.

After he signed a shoe deal with Anta in 2017 worth as much as $80 million, Thompson went on tour in China, and he didn’t disappoint.

There was this missed dunk, when he proved even a superstar NBA athlete like himself could look like a total dork:

Klay Thompson went to China to show them what the talents of an NBA player look like in real life pic.twitter.com/DdxZFJ5ZUv

— Ben Baldwin (@benbbaldwin) June 24, 2017

Continuing that trend, he was dancing at an event in China where it became even more evident that he really is just an average guy with a silky smooth jumper:

Here's the version of the latest Klay dancing video from China with sound. Seems he didn't want the segment to end #ChinaKlay #Anta #China pic.twitter.com/IszdO2xMuv

— LetsGoWarriors (@LetsGoWarriors) June 30, 2017

The perfect alter ego that is China Klay reappeared in the summer of 2018, which seems like forever ago right now.

We got Thompson in this costume that I’m not certain how to describe. Just look at this thing:

CHINA KLAY IS ON ANOTHER LEVEL THIS SUMMER pic.twitter.com/fgJ6ZFjXgv

— Whitney Medworth (@its_whitney) June 28, 2018

Again, don’t know the meaning behind it, but I approve.

Thompson also got torched by a kid in pop-a-shot. Though to be fair, I don’t think there are many people on the planet that could possibly beat this child:

#ChinaKlay getting destroyed in pop-a-shot [via @nmwitherill/IG] pic.twitter.com/IzNuVdVXfV

— Warriors on NBCS (@NBCSWarriors) June 26, 2018

The kid being a straight boss at the game makes it good, but Thompson deciding he was going to lose while still making as many shots as he could at a comfortable pace made it great.

Klay also forgot that his coach, Steve Kerr, was one of the best shooters of all time.

Amid a shooting slump, Klay really said he’d only listen to Reggie Miller or Ray Allen’s advice. Then he backtracked to include Larry Bird. Oh yeah! Then he remembered his own head coach.

Klay Thompson: “What is somebody going to tell me about my jump shot that I can’t fix? Unless it’s Reggie Miller or Ray Allen, I don’t know who I’m supposed to listen to. Larry Bird? Steve Kerr. I’ll listen to Steve. Steve shot 45 percent.” pic.twitter.com/GCfSmymz96

— Anthony Slater (@anthonyVslater) December 27, 2018

Not even Klay knows what he said here

This Klay interview still has me in tears. How? pic.twitter.com/9wAerO4uVP

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) December 15, 2018

He definitely said some words in there.

Klay held a towel up to the camera completely backwards and apologized

MVP-like postgame interview from Klay pic.twitter.com/uasF6eZHMQ

— Warriors on NBCS (@NBCSWarriors) April 21, 2019

This is Peak Awkward Klay.

Klay hit big shots in the Warriors Game 2 win over the Rockets and threw up the Three Goggles

Game 2 recap: us: omg what are the refs gonna do in this game klay: LOL IM JUST GONNA MAKE CLUTCH SHOTS pic.twitter.com/pOBhtFnQ7Z

— SB Nation (@SBNation) May 1, 2019

Klay did the Big Balls Dance in Game 4 of the Finals

KLAY pic.twitter.com/yTfGMlpIvX

— SB Nation (@SBNation) June 8, 2019

The best part about all of Thompson’s small, odd moments is that we can’t predict what the next is going to be.

Every Random Act Of Klay is unique, and just as enjoyable as the last. As long as Klay remains Klay, we’ll never run out of all the joy that he unintentionally produces just by being himself.