#// I also figured out some additions to the existing plot and can't wait to get to that
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This next chapter is turning out lengthier than the ones before, which means it will also take me a while to get to updating the fic on AO3 again x_x
Lots of ground to cover but I am excited! Depending on how it turns out I might post a drabble of the upcoming chapter just to sweeten the wait.
#⸻ ⨯ 𝐍𝐈𝐇𝐈𝐋 𝐑𝐀𝐌𝐁𝐋𝐄𝐒 // 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞.#// I also figured out some additions to the existing plot and can't wait to get to that#// ...I can't promise anything yet but we might get the first spice in this next chapter too :3c
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Digimon Adventure 01x16 - Dark Evolution! SkullGreymon / The Arrival of SkullGreymon
Previously on Digimon Adventure: The wicked servants of Elvis gave our kids food and baths. Fleeing into a nearby cave, Taichi found the Warp Whistle and got them out of there before they could be exposed to Elvis's music any longer.
Now we join them an ambiguous length of time later, in a place that is certainly not the forested mountains we left them in.
We're back in the desert. Why are we back in the desert? Why did we go back there? IDK but Mimi's is bothered as I am.
Mimi: Ugh, how much farther do we have to talk? Jou: Until we find a place where Etemon can't reach us. Mimi: Does a place like that even exist!?!? Yamato: I hope so. We have nowhere to run if Etemon attacks us right now. Sora: This is bad. Everyone's starting to get depressed.
Wandering through the vast deserts of Server under threat that Etemon could appear at any moment naturally has a negative impact on the group's mental health. Sora's concerned for them. But Taichi's annoyed.
Taichi: What's going on here!? Get a hold of yourselves! We have a Crest with us now! Yamato: Sure, but can they really evolve with just the Crest? Taichi: Of course. Right, Agumon? Agumon: Mmm-- Taichi: Be more assertive! You're the only one right now who can evolve to the next level! You have to stand for all of us on the battlefield! Tentomon: We're counting on you! Taichi: By the way, how do we reach the next evolution? Koushiro: Well, from what we know about evolution, they need a lot of energy to evolve. They couldn't do it when they were hungry. Also, it happens when their partner is in danger. Taichi: I see.... So, about, that energy thing: To evolve to a higher level, I guess you'd need more energy than ever, right?
Taichi ties off that question with a wink at Agumon, who flinches from Taichi's exuberance. He's plotting.
As he brought up at the end of the last episode (but not in the dub), In stark contrast to the rest of the group, who are still in survival mode, Taichi feels invincible now that he has this Crest. He's confident that he has the key to Etemon's demise right there around his neck. He just needs to figure out how it works.
Over in the dub, Tai's going even harder.
Tai: Hey, come on, you guys! Why'd we stop? Why's everyone so scared? After all, we do have the Crest, you know! Matt: That's true! But do we really know the Crest will help Agumon to Digivolve? Tai: Of course! Right, Agumon? Agumon: Hmm? Tai: Listen, buddy: This is your big chance! Don't let me down! You're the only one that can Digivolve further so either you try to get to the next level and save us from Etemon or I'll go and get myself a new Digimon! Tentomon: Not much of a choice! Tai: ARGH! By the way, how are we supposed to use the Crest to Digivolve again? Izzy: Well, from what we've seen so far with the other Digivolutions, it takes a lot of energy. For example, they can't Digivolve if they're hungry. In addition, the Partner of the Digimon must be in some sort of danger. You know, like being under attack or something. Tai: But since it's a higher level of Digivolving, my theory is even more energy is needed. So we'll provide the food; Etemon will provide the danger!
Love that closing line, "We'll provide the food; Etemon will provide the danger!" That's a great way to set up the bad decision-making that's about to take place.
The biggest difference between the two versions is that Tai threatens to fire Agumon in this one. Holy shit! He's being a twat either way but that's brutal.
We cut briefly to Etemon's trailer being carted through the desert. He's rambling.
Etemon: You kids just wait! When I find you, I'll knock you flat and stuff you like turkeys!
Over in the dub, he says:
Etemon: You better watch out, you DigiDestined kids! I'll find you and, when I do, you'll wish you never crossed Etemon! I'll get ya!
This may seem like a lateral move, but the "stuff you like turkeys" line is setup for a gag. We cut immediately from that line to:
The dub destroys this joke, not only changing Etemon's line but introducing a commercial break between Etemon's setup and Agumon's payoff.
Over here at a small oasis, Taichi is force-feeding Agumon as much as possible.
Agumon: I can't eat anymore! Taichi: When I say eat, you eat! No complaining! Agumon: But-- Taichi: Listen! Everyone gave you their share of food because they're looking forward to your evolution! Right, guys? Yamato: Sure. Mimi: Gave it to him? More like he took it from us. Gabumon: But we can't evolve to a higher level. Jou: (bitterly) So it's "Whoever doesn't work doesn't eat"? Tentomon: Oh no.... Taichi: Eh? What was that? I can't hear you! Isn't that right, guys? Group: (unenthusiastically) Uh-huh! Taichi: See? That's why you and I have to work hard together! We have to protect everyone!
Taichi is now preventing the rest of the group from eating so that he can force-feed Agumon far beyond his limits. Based entirely on his own speculation that Agumon will need a supreme amount of energy for a Perfect-stage evolution.
Palmon: I guess that means we're dragging everyone down. Piyomon: Even so, I feel sorry for Agumon. Sora: Yeah. Agumon looks like he's being forced into a corner. Koushiro: During club activities, Taichi-san was always nice to us younger members. Sora: Now that you mention it, back in soccer club....
While the first part of this scene is played totally straight in the dub, this bit's a little different.
Palmon: I guess there's not much else we can do to help. Biyomon: I don't know if Agumon can take much more! Sora: Yeah, Tai is really pushing him. Agumon's stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey. Izzy: Tai's personality has taken a turn for the worse lately. I remember him being friendlier even to us younger kids. Sora: Actually, now that you mention it, he was cool during soccer camp.
"Soccer camp" is an interesting choice here. Extracurricular "soccer club" isn't really a thing in the U.S. but schools do have sports teams. Not usually for elementary schools, though. Sora and Taichi are in fifth grade. In order to play soccer together, they'd have to be part of a recreational youth program like at the YMCA or, as noted, a soccer camp.
Meanwhile, Koushiro's reference to sharing "club activities" with Taichi, though the sentiment of his line remains. I guess they couldn't imagine why Izzy would play soccer.
From here, Sora flashes back on a school soccer game. Taichi's playing in the front of his team as a striker, a position notorious for arrogant and selfish play, and he has the ball. Sora is the other striker, running down the field parallel to Taichi.
We see the gears turn in Taichi's head.
Sora: Taichi, pass! Taichi: This is my chance to shoot! Here I go!
But then another player slides in front of him on an intercept course. Without missing a beat, Taichi passes the ball sideways a moment before the slide trips him up. Sora receives his pass, striking the ball with a headbutt and sending it sailing into goal.
Helping Taichi to his feet, Sora appreciates his sportsmanship.
Sora: Nice pass! I thought you'd try to take the shot yourself. Taichi: I'd never do something that crazy! Ahahahaha!
Back in the present, Sora reflects:
Sora: Taichi seems like the type to rush off on his own, but he's always taken his surroundings into consideration. Koushiro: Right. Sora: But now.... Taichi: We're the only ones who can do this! So keep going! Eat up! Agumon: No more! Sora: Ever since Taichi got that Crest, he's become a completely different person.
Again, the dub here is a bit altered.
Sora: Tai might look like he's trying to run things all by himself, but whatever crazy action he takes, he does it for the good of the team. Izzy: Mmhmm. Sora: But now all this.... Tai: We're the only ones who can help now! So you've gotta keep eating, okay, Agumon!? Agumon: I can't! Sora: Tai's personality seems to have changed ever since he got a hold of that Crest of Courage.
Sora's point is about Taichi typically having situational awareness to temper his enthusiasm. He was going to take the shot himself, but when he realized he was about to be intercepted, he quickly switched gears and passed the ball rather than stubbornly forging ahead.
"Tai makes ridiculous choices but always for good reasons!" is a bizarre takeaway for her to have from that anecdote.
Also, she name-drops Crest of Courage before any of the kids know that the Crests mean things. That's a straight-up continuity error right there.
Suddenly, the conversation's broken up a ringing pulse shining inside Jou's shirt.
Jou: I'm starving... Hmm? What the...? (Jou pulls his Tag out of his shirt and sees it pulsing blue) Jou: (standing up suddenly) Hey, look! My Tag! Yamato: It's reacting to something. Koushiro: Your Crest must be nearby! Taichi: Really!?
Taichi whips out his mini-telescope, scanning the nearby surroundings until he spots a set of ruins in the distance. Ecstatic, Jou races down the dune they're resting on, tripping over something buried in the sand.
Gomamon: What's a cable doing here?
His question doesn't get answered, but we know these cables. Far off, Etemon orders the Monochromon dragging his trailer to halt.
Etemon: STOP!!! Gazimon: What's wrong, Etemon-sama? Etemon: Ehehehehehe!!! Something's stuck in my network! L-7 Area... Let's see... Where was that? L over, 7 down, and... There it is! Gazimon: Where is it? Etemon: YIIIIIII!!! It's near the Coliseum! Remember? The place I hold my yearly concert! (angrily) They fled to such a place.... Gazimon: Geh. It's pretty far. Etemon: Yep. However, I have an interesting show set up there. Ahaha!
In the dub:
Etemon: WHOA!!! Gazimon: What is it, Lord Etemon? Etemon: Ahaha! Something's caught in my network, uh-huh-huh! The intruder's in the L-7 sector. Let's see, L-7, L-7... How's this thing work? Oh, here it is! Gazimon: Where is it? Etemon: Hahaha, it's near the Coliseum! That's where I hold my annual Tribute to Me show; I wonder what they're doing all the way over there? You got any idea? Gazimon: Well, maybe they want to get good seats, boss. Etemon: Oh, they'll have a perfect view for the surprise show I planted for 'em! Hahahaha!
Small change: Etemon seems miffed that the kids are at the Coliseum in the original. It's a subtle moment, but it almost seems like he's offended that they're hiding out in a place that has sentimental value to him personally.
"Maybe they want to get good seats" is a great quip. We lose Gazimon expositing that it's far off, but Etemon covered that with "all the way over there" so the information is still conveyed.
The big shift here is the "show" waiting for the kids. Etemon in the original suggests that what's about to happen is part of his annual concert setup. He's repurposing resources already in place for another reason. Dub Etemon seems to have set this all up as a trap on purpose? Though given the events to follow, that's still a believable interpretation.
Etemon calls another Gazimon over in L-7 to arrange his plan.
Gazimon: Yeah? This is the L-7 area. Etemon: It's me. Gazimon: (leaps to his feet) Y-Yes!? Etemon: Some guests will be arriving soon. Prepare a welcome party. Gazimon: W-Welcome party!? You don't mean that thing? Etemon: I mean that thing. Gazimon: U-UNDERSTOOD!!!
This Gazimon races off into the Coliseum to prepare for the children's arrival.
Inside, the Coliseum is a bit different from what one might expect of ancient Roman architecture.
Koushiro: It looks like the Roman Coliseum! Tentomon: What is that? Taichi: An ancient stadium. Mimi: Look! A widescreen TV! Sora: And a goal post! This is a soccer field! Taichi: Well, let's split up and look for the Crest!
Neat. You know those ancient Romans and their love for giant stadium monitors and soccer.
We've been in Digimon World/Digital World for so long that no one even cares about out-of-place modern shit anymore. That's just life.
Unfortunately, all that overfeeding is taking a toll on Agumon, who falls to the ground abruptly.
Agumon: I can't move... Let me sleep.... Taichi: What's wrong with you!? Get up! Agumon: Sorry.... Jou: Let him rest. The only clue we have is this Tag. Gomamon and I will go look, so the rest of you take a break. Taichi: I'll go with you!
Jou-senpai stepping up to be the responsible one again, but as usual, Taichi can't be still for five seconds.
While Taichi and Jou race off to search for Jou's Crest, something interesting rolls out onto the soccer field.
Sora: (excited gasp) Soccer ball! Hey, want to play soccer!? Takeru: That sounds like fun! Yamato: Let's make it Human Team vs. Digimon Team. Tentomon: What's soccer? Sora: It's where you use your legs to kick this ball into a goal. You can also use your head or chest.
She demonstrates by popping the ball up and passing it with her head to Gabumon. He delivers a powerful kick, sending it up in an arc. Piyomon tries to catch it with her wings, but the ball hits her in the face and knocks her flat. It then bounces into Palmon's hands behind her.
Sora: You can't use your hands. Palmon: Don't you think that's really unfair to me? Takeru: The goalkeeper can use their hands, right? Yamato: Yeah. You'd be perfect for goalkeeper, Palmon.
In the dub, Palmon's objection is removed. After Biyomon gets clonked, Palmon's line and Sora's are switched.
Palmon: Oh! That's really using your head! Sora: Oh, and I forgot to tell you: You can't use your hands. T.K.: Unless you're the goalkeeper; Then you can touch the ball with your hands! Matt: Yeah! You should be the goalie for your team, Palmon!
It's a minor difference, but the bit doesn't flow quite as well without the point being raised that Palmon, more than anyone here, is a very grabby Digimon. She has a much higher hands-to-other-stuff ratio than the rest of the group.
With Palmon's role sorted out, she gives the ball a toss to put it back in play. Suddenly, noticing the others having fun, Tai races in and gives the ball a heavy kick, sending it hurtling to the upper audience stands.
By comical coincidence, he scores a direct hit on Gazimon way up there. Even when he's being a shit, Taichi has amazing soccer instincts. The shot sends Gazimon tumbling down the stairs into the Coliseum's inner chambers.
Taichi: How the hell can you guys be playing soccer at a time like this!?!? Stop and think about what we're dealing with! We're leaving as soon as Jou finds his Crest!
(This is Taichi's "How you season your eggs is causing the decline of Japanese culture" moment. Like Jou way back when, Taichi is cracking under the pressure of being at war with an invulnerable foe.)
Before anyone can say anything to Taichi, the stadium's filled with sports music and the screen turns on.
Etemon: WAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I am the greatest!
Screaming in terror, the kids flee for their lives, inexplicably choosing to take cover inside a soccer net. (Why?) This bizarre choice proves to be part of the trap; The net closes around them, sealing them in. Everyone but Agumon; He tripped and didn't make it to the net because his belly's still too full to move.
Etemon: GOOOOOOOOOAL!!! Now I've got you! Taichi: It was a trap! Tentomon: You think you can keep us in here with just this!?
Tentomon tries to break through the net, but it's electrified. It gives him a discouraging shock the moment he touches it.
Etemon: You're going to injure yourself if you do that. The net's wires are electrified! I've love to be there and do this face-to-face but unfortunately I'm too far away for that. Stars have busy schedules, y'know. But don't worry! A special guest is going to take my place! Who do you think it will be? Taichi: Who cares!? Etemon: I bet he's going to surprise you! YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!
Etemon's guest star arrives: A Greymon with a black "collar" made up of what seems to be a Dark Network cable wrapped around their neck. They stomp into the Coliseum, wrecking everything in their path.
Taichi: G-Greymon!? Etemon: See? You're so surprised! I'm such a fabulous show producer. Now, let's get started! (English) IT'S SHOWTIME!!!
In the dub, we get:
Tai: It's a different Greymon! Etemon: See? I knew you'd be surprised! I'm so evil! ~Let's get started / It's time to go / Okay! / Here's the show!
That might be the funniest change in the series. I wonder which show producer objected to having Etemon proclaim, "I'm such a fabulous show producer"? XD
Agumon evolves to fight the other Greymon. As they're fighting, Takeru drops this banger.
Gabumon: You can do this, Greymon! Takeru: Don't lose to a fake!
Those are some bold words when that one over there is a natural Greymon and our guy can only hit that stage temporarily thanks to Digivice magic.
Sadly, natural Greymon proves to be superior in brawling with a temp. They land a horn bash to our Greymon's chin, sending him backwards into the electrified net.
Conceding that our Greymon can't beat Etemon's, Taichi sees only one avenue left.
Taichi: Evolve, Greymon! Koushiro: He can't keep this up. Tentomon: He can't win if he doesn't evolve!
Greymon gets back up and keeps fighting, but the other Greymon tosses him to the ground and stomps on his head. Taichi screams at him to evolve.
Taichi: Evolve! Evolve, Greymon! Koushiro: It's useless, Taichi-san. Your Crest isn't reacting at all. Yamato: Evolution is impossible. Taichi: I don't accept that. Greymon, I know you can do it! Believe in your ability to evolve!
Greymon does not evolve. He bashes the other Greymon off with a tail whip, then attempts to fire off a Mega Flame.
However, all that comes out is a belch. This is what tips off the group as to why he's having so much trouble.
Mimi: How can you burp at a time like this? Yamato: Do his movements look slower than usual? Koushiro: I get it. His body is heavy from overeating! Tentomon: You're right!
Tentomon's so excited by this revelation, he takes to the air and electrocutes himself on the net again. Smooth.
Meanwhile, Gazimon takes another call from Etemon.
Etemon: Don't just stand around! Start the ending celebration! Prepare the fireworks and step on it!
Gazimon takes up a position up on top of a set of three statue heads, raising sparklers for the ceremony.
While our Greymon continues to get worked over, Gomamon desperately calls his Marching Fishes to lend a fin.
Water pours out of the statues' mouths, with Gomamon's fish flying from the water. They mug Gazimon for his sparklers and make their way over to the enemy Greymon, baiting them away from our Greymon.
Meanwhile, the kids discuss the massive WTF of this occurrence.
Jou: How were fishes able to come out of there!? Gomamon: Don't look at me. I don't understand complex stuff. Koushiro: There's probably a rift to another dimension over there. Gomamon: What he said. Jou: I see....
It's as good an explanation as any.
The dub dialogue is similar, but Izzy's more condescending about it.
Joe: Where did those fish come from!? How could they just come out of there like that!? Gomamon: I dunno, but if it's not broken, don't fix it! Izzy: It's really elementary, Joe. There's probably just a dimensional vortex rift in the water. Gomamon: Ditto! Joe: Oh.
Imagine not knowing about aquatic dimensional vortex rifts. That's baby stuff. You're kinda dim, Joe.
Once the conversation's finished, the Marching Fishes drop their sparklers at Greymon's feet and then fly off into the sky, visibly fading out of existence. (I guess they Dimensional Vortex Rifted away.)
Koushiro comes up with the idea of tunneling to safety. The kids peel back the tiles to find another black cable, but also a large stone bearing a symbol like the one that formed Taichi's Crest. The stone begins to pulse, as does Jou's Tag.
Assuming it works the same, Jou rests his Tag on the stone.
Crest received!
Just in time for the ground beneath them, no longer braced by the Crest stone, to give way and dump the kids. into a deep hole. But it's a deep hole with an exit, so they're free. We briefly cut to Etemon furiously watching them make their escape.
Etemon: Those damn children! Not only did they escape, but they have another Crest! UNFORGIVABLE!!!
It's here that Taichi makes terrible choices.
Taichi: He'd win if he evolved. If he could only evolve! GREYMON!!! Sora: Stop! Taichi: Don't stop me! This is my chance to get Greymon to evolve! Please just stay out of the way! Sora: But your Crest isn't reacting at all! It's impossible for him to evolve! Taichi: He will evolve. No, I'll make him!
Taichi hops down into the stadium and races out onto the field, towards where the two Greymon are fighting.
(This is where Sora's anecdote from earlier comes into play. Taichi isn't being situationally aware. He's not paying attention to the factors on the field; Specifically, his Crest. He's stubbornly, arrogantly trying to take the shot himself and not paying attention to the very real fact that his angle is too well-guarded.)
Yamato: What is he trying to do!? Koushiro: The other condition needed for evolution is for the Partner to be in danger. Sora: Taichi-san wouldn't....
He would. He does.
Etemon calls for a Mega Flame to finish Taichi's Greymon, but Taichi interrupts the shot by pelting Etemon's Greymon with a rock expertly flung straight into their eye.
Taichi: STOP!!! I'm not scared of you! Come and get me! Etemon: Trying to act tough, are we? Very well. We'll deal with you first, just like you wanted!
Sora and Yamato send Birdramon and Garurumon in there to keep Taichi from getting himself stupidly killed. But Taichi keeps screaming at Greymon to evolve until finally, his Crest reacts. In an eerie way.
An unpleasant green light emanates from Taichi's Digivice, unlike the typical white of evolution. And his Crest turns black as pitch before it releases its energy. Greymon ankoku shinka.
The evolution for ankoku shinka or "Dark Evolution" is completely unlike the typical evolution. The transformation sequence is corrupted with unpleasant colors and a dark cloud appearing in the sky. Black energy with orange spirals pour into Greymon, causing him to take this new shape without the usual spinny stock footage and cry of "SHINKAAAAAAA!!!"
Even Tai seems to realize he's screwed up here, as his initial excitement quickly fades into an expression of horror.
Sora: T-That's.... Yamato: What's going on here? Tentomon: It can't be. That's SkullGreymon! Sora: SkullGreymon!?
The narrator chimes in here to give the rundown. SkullGreymon is a Perfect-stage Virus-type Skeleton Digimon.
Narrator: SkullGreymon. His menacing appearance reduces many Digimon to a quaking heap. Naturally, he has immense destructive power. He is a Perfect-stage Digimon who attacks persistently in battle.
Here, the dub has everything it needs for a seamless diegetic rundown. Tentomon is present on-hand, recognizes this Digimon, and has people to talk to when delivering the rundown.
Sora: What in the world!? Matt: What do you think that is? Tentomon: Oh my, is that what I think it is? Sora: What do you call that thing!? Tentomon: SkullGreymon. The sight of him makes other Digimon tremble! He is a fully Digivolved Digimon whose explosive power causes him to constantly search for battle!
"Fully". It's cute that you think that, Tentomon. To be fair to him, Perfect was the final stage until Ultimate was added later down the line. But it was already there by the time the anime was made and dubbed.
But yeah, this is basically a perfect diegetic rundown. Good work.
Koushiro's immediately convinced that this is wrong.
Koushiro: Th-This is bad! It looks like something went wrong and he evolved into something unbelievable!
But it's too late now. SkullGreymon begins to act, swatting the enemy Greymon into the air and launching them into Etemon's monitor. Then he fires the missile from his back.
SkullGreymon's signature move Ground Zero flies from his back, slamming into the monitor and exploding. The blast erases both the monitor and the opposing Greymon.
(RIP Other Greymon. Etemon said they were part of his annual show so I sure hope that means they were like a bandmate of his and not some sort of gladiator slave or something. Because they're stone dead now.)
Taichi, meanwhile, stares up at his "Partner" in disbelief.
Taichi: SkullGreymon! Did you really evolve from Greymon!?
In the dub, Tai more bluntly yells:
Tai: Listen to me, SkullGreymon! If you're really the Digivolved form of Greymon then you can't hurt me!
SkullGreymon responds by trying to smash him, provoking Garurumon and Birdramon to leap to his defense. Tentomon evolves as well to join the defense.
Three Adult-stage Digimon against a battle-hungry Perfect. While their battle tears up the landscape and shreds the black cables littered around.
Etemon: WAUGH!!! The Network! My network is ruined!
Over in the dub, Etemon hilariously tries to play this for sympathy.
Etemon: Oh no, my poor network! They're destroyin' everything that I worked so hard to create!
XD Sure, my dude. You're the victim here.
Back at the fight, SkullGreymon's as savage as we were promised. Birdramon, Kabuterimon, and Garurumon converge attacks on him, but he doesn't even flinch. Swatting them away as easily as the giant Devimon did before, SkullGreymon flees the Coliseum and races out into the desert beyond.
There, the dark evolution energy from Taichi's mistake finally runs out. He finally regresses, not just to Agumon but all the way down to Koromon.
As the group reaches Koromon, Taichi scoops him up in his arms.
Taichi: Are you okay!? Koromon: Yeah... But it looks like I did something terrible to you guys... I couldn't stop myself! Piyomon: Don't worry about it. Gabumon: That's right. Tentomon: We completely understand. Koromon: I'm sorry I couldn't rise to your expectations. Yamato: No! It's not your fault, it's.... Taichi: I know. It's mine. Yamato: That's not what I meant. Taichi: That's okay. It's true. Isn't it, Sora? Sora: Yes-- I-I mean-- Taichi: I was rushing ahead without even realizing it. Because I had the Crest, I felt like I had to fight the battles on my own. I'm sorry, everyone. (to Koromon) I'm sorry. Narrator: Although the next evolution stage was reached, it proved to be a mistake. Will they ever learn to evolve the right way?
We close on this somber moment, reflecting on Taichi's mistake. Neither forgiveness nor condemnation offered to him. Only a lesson learned and a hope to do better in the future.
The dub plays this all straight, including the narrator's closing dialogue. Of course, per usual, that's done diegetically.
Tai: You were finally able to Digivolve but it was a huge mistake. I wonder if our Digimon will ever be able to Digivolve the right way? One thing's for sure, I learned my lesson.
However what blows my mind in this final scene is that Koromon's voice is wrong. They have Mimi's actress playing Koromon and it's extremely noticeable. A huge departure from the usual performer who's been playing Koromon as recently as one episode ago. I have no idea why that happened.
Assessment: Here, at last, we're introduced to branching evolution paths and very specifically the concept of dark evolution, a rare occurrence in Digimon media but always a big deal when it comes up. Try to avoid putting your Digimon through that, yeah?
The dub for this episode has a couple of flaws in it, but I'd describe it as almost perfect. Like 95% of the dub for this episode was seamless adaptation, with some of the dub particulars like the diegetic rundowns fitting in perfectly. My biggest complaint here is that they messed up Sora's soccer anecdote, but that's small potatoes compared to some of the other episodes out there.
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...I can't believe I'm logging back in again for the first time in like half a decade for this, but apparently I have Opinions on the subject.
I simultaneously emphatically agree and vehemently disagree with this post.
I hate isekai anime. Almost all of it is indeed trash. But I want to love it, because I love the isekai genre.
Allow me to explain.
Basically every single isekai anime out there* started out on free, user-submitted novel sites such as shousetsuka ni narou, kakuyomu or alphapolis**. Think of these sites as more commercial versions (they run on ads, are publisher owned, and/or have other revenue streams) of ao3, but for original fiction.
Normal people*** write whatever the fuck stories they want for people to read for free, and people can bookmark and follow, rate, comment and on some sites write reviews for the story. And if you get popular enough (or you enter your story in one of the periodical themed competitions and get enough votes), you might get a book deal with an actual publisher.
And isekai is one of the biggest genres - if not the biggest genre - on these sites. Hell, isekai was basically born here.
Can you imagine the sort of amazingly wild stories this results in?? isekai is like if someone took a look at Western fantasy and went "...but why is it so serious and shit, though?", and just poured a truckload of crack, fluff and pastel colours all over it. And yes, in a lot of cases also fanservice and/or fucked-up misogynistic shit. Because it's Japan, and the internet, what'd you expect?
But it's easy, feel-good fiction for the tired masses.
You ever see ads for that fish game where you start as a small fish and eat other fish to grow bigger and think "man, this looks like it'd be a great plot for a fantasy novel"? isekai has you covered. (yes, it exists, it's compellingly written and funny af)
You ever wanted to read about a dude who just wants to go NC with his abusive family, live a comfortable life with good food and good friends and maybe try to figure out how to flirt with his genderqueer love interest? Isekai has got your back.
How about a kid gaining the favour of the gods and starting a societal and economical revolution just cause the fantasy world he was in didn't have musical theatre, and he simply could not with that life? isekai is your place to go.
Are you into timid girls who use getting dumped as a chance for self-help, learning that they're actually great and have worth in their own right? Boy, does isekai have like a million stories for you. No, really.
Ever wish Cinderella just went all "fuck this whole suffering meekly thing and waiting for my prince to come, I choose murder"? Isekai, baby.
Are you looking for female protagonists who reject being traditionally feminine and just do whatever they want, telling dirty jokes and not giving a shit about romance? isekai has plenty of that, actually.
Do you wish there was more gay fantasy out there? Oh my god, isekai is so fucking gay.
And let me tell you, publishers love this model. I mean, why wouldn't they, they get to publish novels they know already has an audience and a fanbase. The content already exists, so they can publish super fast with only minor revisions, meaning there's not enough lull that the fanbase loses interest and moves on between releases. (hell, most stories aren't taken down once they get published, and are updated continuously, so there's no real downtime)
The problem is, however, that generally speaking the publisher will want more fanservice for increased mainstream appeal. And then you get even more fanservice for the manga adaptation, and yet more still for the anime adaptation**** (That Time I Got Reincarnated As A Slime, I'm looking at you).
In addition, between the whole sexist idea that male audience media has universal appeal, while female or other "niche" audience media holds no mainstream (read: male) appeal, and the fact that it's cheaper and easier to do an anime for a simple, by the numbers harem series than a more complex story with a larger ensemble cast with actual personalities (easier to sell merch, too), what makes it to the screen is far from the best of what the genre has to offer.
I get why it's like this, but it still bums me the fuck out. And that's why I hate isekai anime.
And no, I don't know if the stories I linked have English translations available. Some of them definitely do (either published or fan translations), so idk, google it if you care, I guess?
*depends on how you define isekai. There are several older anime predating webnovels that technically qualify, but they were made before the term really became a thing and the genre tropes were "set", so they don't really feel like isekai anime.
**No connection to a/b/o, although the tropes have seeped into Japanese fan culture. why. Don't cross the streams
***For a given value of normal? With some of the plots you see, you have to wonder how the fuck the writer's brain works
****Production values also tend to be shit, since the studios are churning out dozens of these shows
terrified to ask this but i think i need to as someone getting into anime:
what on god's green earth is "isekai" and why are its defenders rabid
So isekai is an anime genre that roughly translates to "in another world." These shows tend to all feature some main character (almost always a teenage boy) who gets transported into another world, usually one which runs on video game logic, and usually one with fantasy/DND aesthetics, (and usually one where he gets to become a hero of sorts [eventually] and wins the attention of 3-6 hot girls with 2-dimensional personalities. You know for wish fulfillment.)
The genre by itself is not the problem. The oversaturation is.
It is what I can only assume vampire fiction was to the teen romance landscape back when Twilight was popular.
And because the isekai formula just Works for the fans, most isekai shows do not have to try at all. They can get away with a terrible plot, terrible world-building, and terrible characters because you don't need any of those to be good to appeal to the core demographic. You JUST need to be an isekai. Make sure it has cute waifus that the whale-fans will shell out $$$ for to own their figurines, and bam, you're set.
And the extreme oversaturation (both of isekai and harem shows) means it's squeezing out most anything interesting, original, or innovative. After all if you were an anime studio why WOULD you take a gamble on something innovative when you can recycle the same isekai plot for the 1,000th time and for a much safer bet at turning a profit?
There are, likely, some good isekai out there. But I'm confident in my assessment that that bad far outnumber the good. Some friends and I do a weekly bad-anime-watch-night and usually we just throw a dart at any isekai on the crunchyroll page and it is almost ALWAYS just JUST awful. And as such, someone who chows down on all isekai as their preferred type of media is going to have nothing in common with me. They would also be mad as hell at me saying that isekai is almost universally garbage.
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Worldbuilding: Expanding the Scope
1. Establish Home Base: Start with a relatively small scope of what is immediately necessary to understand what's happening. We start Gravity Falls with establishing Dipper, Mabel and Stan as main characters and that the Mystery Shack is their Home Base, also magic is a real thing in this world, notice though that they only really point out two creatures right now, there are time for more later.
This can be a specific location (a high school, a city block, a hotel room), basic rules of the world (magic is real, everyone in this neighborhood is rude, no one gets seriously hurt even in outrageous circumstances) and/or how the main character(s) fit in this world (they're the popular clique, they work for the government, their coworkers don't like them). Show, don't tell can work here, but depending on your genre/narrative it can work to have someone just say it.
2. Town Meeting: The next expansion isn't going to be too big either here, but now that your audience knows the basics, you can start building on that. We start seeing more of the town (the lake, various glimpses of locations during the wax figure investigation) and introduce more side characters here, as well as more magical creatures. All of this relies on what we set up in the Home Base section. They're also sure to only introduce a few more things each episode (a location, two characters, a monster, for example). We've gotten the introduction, now confirm that it's true.
3. Play in The Space: Chill out from heavy duty worldbuilding to enjoy plot and character. We've gotten things pretty solid here, and any additional details will be easy to pop in. Wait, if Gideon and Stan are enemies, why wasn't he mentioned earlier?! Because that's not priority. Introducing Gideon would've distracted from larger and more important elements, it's nice to be able to see him interact with the town that we know, rather than try to introduce both at the same time. Your audience can accept that not everything in a character's life was explained from the get-go. We can accept that the Tent of Telapathy has been in the town for a while even if we haven't seen it till now, especially because the story acts like it's always been there.
4. Chasm's Edge: This is where you can introduce those more nuanced, specific, surprise reveal, complicated worldbuilding stuff you've been waiting for! It's important that nothing actually contradicts what you've set up already (i.e. you can't say actually we've never had juice in this world when you've shown juice unless you're prepared to explain your big juice conspiracy too) and instead it works because we've learned about the building blocks of it. Bill is a big, new reveal, but his existence and role doesn't contradict what we've learned, neither does anything we learn from Stan's mindscape. The reason I call this chasm's edge is because it's cool because while this a big change, we're not actually in it yet, Bill has been introduced but they could make him just another monster of the week still. This is where characters think "ohno, there is actually some pretty important stuff about the world that I do not know"
5. Play on the Edge: Just like it sounds, it's a combo of stages 3 and 4. Things are different now that we have this new knowledge, and we need to adapt to that, us and the characters. This play is likely a bit less relaxed fun and more "hey what was that?" Stan lets us in on the secret and as we still have fun monster of the week, but the worldbuilding has become a bit of a puzzle as to what is going on, good news is they (audience and characters) have the clues necessary to do that and will continue to get these clues through play.
6. Fine, a little backstory, as a treat: Look, I'm not stopping you from having backstory before this, or from not having it at all. The point is more that you get some more knowledge in a more clear, bonk you on the head way. The world puzzle is solved and we have very little left to teach you in terms of how this world works. Story is starting to wrap up, so we need to get any last, big worldbuilding stuff out of the way so we can focus on that.
7. Fan's Payoff: This is where you rest on your laurels (kinda). The audience knows this world pretty well now. I call this fan's payoff because if you tried to explain just this part to someone they'd probably be pretty confused and there'd be a lot of "and then- wait so first you need to know that there's this restaurant and- let me back up" and the audience gets to bask in the coolness of how they just completely get what made-up fantasy is happening in front of them. They've earned it. And you get to bask in all your set up and gradual explanations paying off.
To end, trust your audience, they're smart. None of this is about assuming your audience's intelligence. If you explain something well, and gradually, enough, they will understand whatever complex lore you throw at them. This is about making your audience care.
#writeblr#writers#worldbuilding#writing advice#unsolicited of course#this is me reflecting on my observations of media#if there's something already like this uhh okay i guess?#i just made up terms on the spot so
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Unforseen Timeline. The "Unhappy ending" MLQC/ToT ***SPOILERS FOR BOTH GAMES. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.***
I've been really into Tears of Themis recently... but I can't help but want a fan fiction crossover with TOT and MLQC 👀 MC will be the same, maybe in one of the timeliness, after MC loses her evol that's when she finally starts to give up slowly. Yes she still miss having it, but then she starts wondering what it would be like to live a normal life. No longer having the queen power nor wanting to be the queen due to the responsibility and pain it comes with. She finally reaches a breaking point with all of the boys, never being satisfied with what she currently has with them. Each and everyone of them has brought her pain in some way. Finally she resorts to trying to have a normal life, she cancels miracle finder since it would be easy for the boys to find her if she were to still have a TV show she would have to constantly promotes. Perhaps she decided to become a lawyer, that way she's still helping people while also fighting for justice in her own way. I thought it would be fun to think that she eventually gets to her dream and moves to Stellis. After all, TOT does take place in 2030, (even tho there would be many,several plot holes lol.) She could get help from Shaw, we know that he'd helped MC create a fake identity before hand. So why not again? He'd be the only one tk ever contact MC while she's in Stellis only because we know Shaw would be hella petty if she up and left him after he helped her out. And so Youran then becomes Rosa. Leaving Lucien, Victor, Kiro and Gavin without a trace and with no warning. Just like they did to her all those years ago and multiple times. Never knowing if they'll be back or if they're alive and well. Figures it would be better this way, no more Black Sawn members keeping tabs on her, no more lies and hidden truths, broken promises. She joins Themis lawfirm and works under Mr. Wing, she's taken a liking to him. A boss would really be this nice? She would have never thought after spending all that time near the "tyrant" Victor. Even if as a lover he was sweet, as a boss he had always put so much pressure on her. She is delighted to be near Dr, Ritcher, always learning interesting and unique things. How he's always there to lend a helping hand and is always so kind. She doesn't have to worry about Vyn being after her genes or wanting to gain her evol back. (I like to think that in this AU scenario Loveland would be the only place where Evol's exist, like as if some force is stopping people from other places to gain access to the serum. After all I think they only did expirements on people from Loveland, as in that's where it started. But I could be wrong) Her curiosity peaks when she's with Marius because of his flirtatious nature and the way he's always teasing her. Knowing for a fact that even if he annoys her to no end, she can be assured that he is only Marius and no one else. With Luke... haha plot hole, I guess we could change it if it's an AU of sorts. Perhaps they come across each other in Stellis once MC moves and decides she wants to study law there? They become rather close, two peas in a pot. They have a lot in common! With Rosa now knowing Luke is in the NXX as well, he can let her know ahead of time if he's leaving and for what. No more waiting for Gavin to come back after months of being gone just so he can sneak in her room for a few minutes before having to leave again. So maybe solving murder cases and illegal drug cases isn't the most normal life to live. But there are at least no more people from black swan keeping tabs. She doenst have an evol and "the world" no longer needs to rely on the Queen's power. She at least live in peace for it.
Then for additional angst if you'd like just have the boys make an NXX mission telling her they're headed to Loveland. She freezes upon hearing these words but she tries her best to remain calm. She can only pretend to not know the place or boys for so long. Eventually she crosses paths with them once more... only for the boys to find out they've been replaced. The biggest shock to them was that their MC is still alive, she was missing/gone not dead like they had originally thought. After all, she got a new number. She never responded to their text or calls or even emails. They received nothing all these years. A mixture of so many emotions would consume the boys. Victor being replaced by Artem. Gavin being replaced by Luke. Kiro being replaced by Marius. Lucien being replaced by Vyn. And there's Shaw who's just chilling. Like "Hey Youran, long time no see? Or should I call you Rosa?" Anyway, this stupid thought came to me after playing tot and I wanted some angst since I do love both games. Major plot holes and problems for this AU/headcanon but I thought it would be fun lol
#mlqc#mrlovequeenschoice#mlqc kiro#mlqc victor#mlqc gavin#mlqc helios#mlqc lucien#tot#tot artem#tot vyn#tot luke#tot marius#otome
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Good morning, Charity! Based on your latest post, I guess it's safe to say the book is almost officially done, right? Congratulations! You must be really proud of it. I can't wait to order my own copy.
Curiously, you mentioned writing fiction is much easier in comparison, which reminded me of something I wanted to ask you. So far, I never wrote anything seriously in life, but it is my intention to soon start writing a fantasy novel after I am done with some current duties. As you are my only "tangible" writer reference, could you please tell me (and anybody else who may be interested in reading your response) the history of how your first book came to be, what were your struggles, what went wrong, what went right and also give general advice on writing fiction, especially for a starter? Perhaps things you wished you knew before doing it?
I don't know, for example, if you decide upon most of the story before writing or if you just think of it while doing it. For what it's worth, I already thought of my main characters, the villain, one additional character, the prologue, the beginning, some scenes that should happen and the ending, but I am not sure if it's enough to start or whether I should keep trying to develop it in my head first.
If it's not too much trouble, your advice would be of great use. Thank you :)
Don't get me wrong, writing a book is incredibly hard, whether you write nonfiction or fiction. But my Ne was created to write fiction, and it's way more enjoyable for me to live in a fantasy world full of characters that "appear" to me than to have to work on nonfiction and focus on tedious details, consistencies, figuring out how to structure the book for learning, etc. That is intensely STJ-land, which is hard for me to navigate for long periods of time -- and it's all I did for 7 months while working on this MBTI book. Thank God it's almost over. I get to back to Tudor England and nefarious plots in the caverns beneath a fictional London.
Every personality type writes stories / books differently, so I can't tell you what would work for you. If you feel confident knowing the beginning, end, and the characters / basic plot, that should be enough to dive in and start writing. Stories tend to build along the way and craft themselves if you are a Ne user (anywhere in the stack, as opposed to a Ni user, who prefers to plan it ALL in advance; all NJs I've talked to say characters "pop" into existence in their head, complete with back stories, professions, etc., and they think about it until the entire thing is structured and write it down; SPs report something similar, except they craft as they go more, since the entire story isn't apparent to them early on). SJs and NPs work similarly in that they improvise along the way, discover better ideas as they go, and continually re-craft / re-draft throughout revision.
My process as an ENFP is part-planning but largely improvisational. I make 80% of it up as I go along. It's an ongoing battle between Ne wanting to follow rabbit trails, invent 5 more characters, and bring in complicated subplots, and my lower Te trying to wrangle everything into a coherent, straightforward plot (thus causing me to stop on a regular basis and ask, "Is this contributing to the plot or not? is it derailing my plot? WHAT IS MY PLOT??? Who is my main character???"). Right now I'm working on my seventh and final novel in the Tudor series, so I have to wrap up everything I've set up in advance through other books. This means I have to plot more carefully than usual, since by chapter 15, these 5 events need to have taken place. By chapter 10, I have to have established most of them, going into a "climax" section of my book. Certain things MUST happen in chapter one, in chapter six, in chapter nine. I leave it a little flexible in case the writing naturally makes them happen sooner or later, but I know in a linear path what needs to happen, the chain sequence of events that must take place, just not all the details. I don't pre-plan details, that bores me in the writing process. Writing for me is an adventure; I discover new and exciting things, learn more about people's previous lives, and have fun along the way, so I only form skeleton plans and fill in the flesh and skin later. I usually write way too much, then trim way too much out of it (second draft), then go back in and add sensory details (cuz there aren't any, third draft), edit the hell out of it for sentence structure, coherence, etc (fourth draft?), and then it turns out the way I like it. This is my structured approach.
With other novels, I get an idea -- often a scene I am working toward, a twist at the end, or a big reveal, and start writing to make that scene happen. I also keep other books to a single narrator, which makes it way easier (I need four or five narrators for the Tudor books, so you are in the heart of the action scenes at all times, and not stuck on the sidelines with a character who sees no battle).
I've been writing novels since I was 12, so it's hard for me to remember the history of how the first one came to be (I just ... got an idea, opened a Word document, and started writing), but one of my first published novels was about Pontius Pilate's wife. I took an interest in him, became fascinated, did a ton of research, and was delighted to discover they know almost nothing about either one of them, so I could make 90% of it up, and went at it like gangbusters. That was fun. I'd do that again.
What were my struggles as a young writer? Too much. Before I learned to focus and structure plots, they were too long -- like, hundreds of thousands of words too long. One of the first books I wrote is 400,000 words, a true epic. They had too many characters. I have learned in the years since to combine, delete, and save good characters who add nothing for other books.
What are my struggles now? False starts. The bane of my existence. I usually find a book's stride five chapters in. That's where the characters have established themselves as important, the narrative is barreling forward, I know where I am going (my Ne supplies things to me and weaves plots without me really needing to think about the payoff to major twists) and how to get there, and there's no dead air, but it always takes me about a month of frustrated fumbling around to get to chapter five. I wind up rewriting the first four chapters about 15 times because I get into the plot, and find out -- I don't need this character, or damn, I needed that one and left them out. Rather than just bring them in now, I have to go back to the beginning and write them in, because my thinking is very linear. It can't go from A to C, I have to progress through B (the perks of being an sp/so? ;). So for about four weeks, I feel like I am making no progress, this book is never going to go anywhere, it's not working and then one day, when I find all the right characters and threads that I KNOW will pan out instead of dying on me ... it clicks and I'm off to the races.
Things I wished I'd known before doing it? Uh. How hard it is to write a GOOD book. Anyone can write a bad book. Most people can write a mediocre book. But few people can write a GOOD book. What's good is different for everyone, but for me it means a fast-moving narrative, compelling characters, and avoiding cliches. My advice to any young writer is to just get your ideas out on paper -- in a very rough first draft, and then spend months/years (depending on your type) reworking it, rethinking it, restructuring it, and rewriting it. Get feedback from actual beta readers (not your mom, she thinks you are fabulous) about what's confusing and what isn't working, and then rework it again. Study the semantics of writing -- grammar, sentence structure, etc., but do NOT worry about that until after you have a finished book in front of you. You can bog yourself down knowing too much at the start and trying to edit as you go. Editing comes later.
Just write. Train your brain to write at specific times, or through a habit that reminds your body, "Okay, now is time to focus." Some authors make themselves a cup of tea, others do stretches, others turn off all their electronic devices. I know when I sit down in my chair and turn on some classic music, it's time to focus.
Don't think it has to be perfect your first time through -- it won't be. It's gonna need cleaned up / edited no matter how good it is. And assuming you use Ne, don't be afraid to re-invent scenes to give them more interest and movement in later drafts. Sometimes a scene becomes far more interesting for a reader when a discussion takes place on an archery range or in the middle of a competition than seated at a dining table. Think creatively. Structure some scenes like you would a movie. Where are they? What are they doing? How does this story keep you 'visually' engaged?
I used to practice stuff like this by writing out a scene from a movie I loved, and forcing myself to find ways to write-visualize what I had seen on screen. What is the light doing through the window? Where is she standing and why? What actions did the actors use in-between dialogue? Look around you all the time. Notice things. You can either remember them or write them down. Charles Dickens used to keep a book of weird and interesting names that caught his attention, which later became characters in his books.
Lastly, think about two things when writing -- what story do *I* want to tell (it should entertain and excite you) and your audience. (If I name two characters starting with the same letter, is this going to confuse them since most people skim-read?? Can I really expect them to keep track of 12 characters as I flip back and forth?? ... no.)
Write at your own pace. Cut yourself some slack. And don't worry if you have to rewrite sections. It happens.
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wc: 2773
suna grits his teeth, the light's too strong for him to see. he close his eyes shut, having no intentions to torture his eyes at the glow infront of him that is brighter as his mothers cellphone brightness. a deafening sound screeches at his ears like metal scratching another metal, oh how annoying that sound is.
he squints his eyes slightly as if his default eyes wasn't squinted enough. he could see a person, a female he assumes by their figure alone whose back faced towards him but the luminescence made his sight blur, he couldn't identify who it is
voice echoed insignificantly, he doesn't know whose is it nor where it's coming from except the voice started to scratch him in the head displeasingly
rintarou! rintarou! rintarou!
sunas eyes blinks open once to be greeted by his mother scowling after he has bestir himself from a horrible dream. he could hear a small voice saying 'oh no' inside his head as it's definetely not the first time he woke up to an angry face
"do you have any idea what time it is?" his mother barked, her face continues to grimace at her son. suna sits up groggily and reached for his phone beside him
12:47 pm
"how many times to i have to tell you to not stay up late!" she berates before pulling his cushion up, causing him to fall a bit from his stance and gets hit with it
"ow─! you just hit me with a pillow!" suna winces, strands of his dark hair are all over the place
"better than a slipper or your face would look even worse than just messy hair" the mother threatens before leaving the territtory so casually like she had not scolded anything at his sons ears. senzo could only choke a laugh at the freaky scene that occured upon his room, he had identified his apathetic relative as a fellow who would only shrug their shoulders when being rebuked or insulted. suna is infact a 'take no shit' kind of man, he's just wholesomely a bit playful with his mother.
suna goes down the stairs slothfully as his body might not be running his blood yet and he took a bit too long to go to the dining room where his food rests on the table cold as a corpse
"if you have woken up ealier it would have been warmer" his mothers interrupts from the living room. suna rolls his eyes then sneers at his mother from the room
'i wasn't even complaining but i am now' he thought as he opens the large plate that covers his meal, his boiled eggs as soggy as ever
he sits down at the at the table then started contemplating about his recent dream, was it even a dream? though it seems a bit vague but vivid when he was still in a slumber. suna reckons it was just another weird hallucination. he has quite plenty of those so this one is no special, except that this peculiar reverie didnt have any sort of plot unlike the time he dreamt about the miyas and some random player from karasuno that he'd only seen once have a bachelors party at a couple he had seen in a movie before while also drinking blue liquid which now is extremely questionable but that was just an example of the long list
suna hears a soft thump going down the stairs, he glance to see his cousin all dressed up for the day
"hey sen, are you going somewhere?"
"uh.. yeah, why?"
"can i go with you?"
"sure..."
senzo probably didn't sound sure himself, well that's because he isn't used to people wanting to join him to go outside or anything at all and he was receiving a small friendly treatment from a cousin he didn't knew existed and vice versa.
the two went out briefly after suna changing into some proper clothing for the day, the walk is quiet like the usual though they do give some comments here and ther. the sun sweltered upon them while two or three clouds wafts against each other.
"im going this way, is there a place you wanted to go?" senzo asks after an abrupt stop
suna truthfully didn't have a particular destination, he went with him 'cause he felt like it. they went far for him to just go back, he thought for a long minute before a specific location passes in his head.
"yes, actually
"i'll see ya later then" senzo says before walking away
suna felt awkward since his destination is far from where they had gone to
he doesn't know why he's making his way there, for fresh air? for the scenery? for someone?
suna halts as he sees a narrow space in the side of the hill, he figured it's also a path way up to the old patio he visited. he begins walking upwards and repents at his decision mid-way. the path is rocky and hard to stay still on because of the numerous inconsistent rock shapes. it doesn't help that there's a hot atmosphere around him as he continues to go up carefully.
sweat drips down his forehead, his tiny strands of bangs sticking along on it. the heat annoyed him as he reaches the top of the mountain hill, the sun beams directly at the crest where he now stands but once he finished catching his breath the brightest star seems to appear infront of him.
somehow the fieriness of this evening─the reason he's such a sweaty mess─suna doesn't seem to mind it anymore as he watches the the girl he had came across twice stand infront of him. she was there, like she had always been, tossing a ball over her head for who knows how long.
'wait, she does volleyball?'
i mean, he could see it but at the same time not so much?
though you were tad bit taller for an average height of a female and you don't look like you hold any outstanding physical attributes either but he can't really underestimate you that quickly can he?
sunas being remained unnoticed due to her keeping her concentration firmly. she tosses the ball up into the air, patently going to do a jump serve. from her evident zealousness you would be tricked that she'll actually spike or even jump with experience. she was slow and her legs looked stiff when she leaped, hell, she didn't even swing her arms in time, she barely even touched the ball.
'uhh.. that was an awkward serve' her attempt to serve was futile and funny even, suna can't help but to chortle instead of detaining it, his attempt to be discreet wasn't great either. she let's out a light gasp as soon as she heard him cackling from the side, she already was embarrassed at her shot but now that the same cute boy she saved from the market is a witness at her own frustration made her embarrassment go off the line than where it should be
"that was an impressive serve you just did" suna starts sarcastically whilst disturbingly taking little steps towards her. she could only scream her embarrassment deep on her palm, peeking her eyes through one of the gaps to see him, picking up the ball from the ground.
"how long have you been here?"
"long enough to see eveything"
"pleas erase it from your memory" she says blatantly as she finally regains her composure, suna shrugs at her as he hands the ball back to her, she unhesitatingly grabbing it back only for him to extend his arm up. the ball being too high for her too reach since the boy teasing her is intimidatingly tall.
"it's not that easy" suna replies as he looks down at the figure shorter than him giving him an irratating frown, "what do you know about volleyball?" she mumbles, her eyes looking elsewhere.
"alot of things" he remarks with a heavy stare. the girl infront of him seems surprised and asked "do you play?" which he answers with a curt nod. the silence after that is conscious and creates a long stare-down between the two, in addition to that is the beating heat of the sun baking them from below like they weren't perspiring enough from the exercise they had done in such a time.
"i'll just take this back then" she says as her feet tip-toes close to his level, the tip of her fingers hardly brushing off the ball. suna just stands there leisurely as he watches the girl he doesn't even know struggle into obtaining her property back.
suna gazes down at her meek nature, her cheeks faintly glows a pretty shade of pink, her hair cascading down her neck every now and then, the sun rays paints her skin too perfectly
suna smiles slightly as he pokes a little fun with her and having fun himself except to the part where he begins to feel her chest nudging his whenever she jumps and immidietly gave her her ball back smoothly. "here" he says before walking away from his agitation
she cocks an eyebrow at him when she turns around to face his retreating figure, his phone buzzed at his pocket, opening it to get a message from his mom and the second years groupchat, well maybe third years for noow on. yet suna couldn't be bothered to open either of them seeing as his mom just texted him some chores whilst the groupchat is just filled with the twins nonsense.
"could you play with me for a little while?" she asks reluctantly, dugging her nails on the air-filled ball
suna is bewildered at the instantaneous request but he figured it's better to take up on her behest than do his mothers errands anyway
turning his heel back, he meets her big eyes with his flat slanted ones and his actions seems to answer her offer
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"what made you think playing straight under the sun was a great idea?" suna complains, panting heavily as the sun eventually plummets down. they stayed up on top for hours and instead of actually playing suna ended up teaching her the basics of volleyball for goodness sake she was an extremely slow learner.
"what do you mean? i like it up here" her tone filled with confusion as she questions him
"the sun literally fried us"
"you don't look that good to me"
"huh?" suna's brain is now all muddled by her statement causing him to give a repulsive look, she didn't seem too bothered by how she voiced her proclamation and only started walking down the stairs, suna following behind.
"you must be thirsty, i'll buy us some drinks, my treat" she announces as she holds out her baby blue colored wallet, turning left as they reached down the stairs, the vending machine is conveniently there aswell. "any preference?" she inquires only for suna to shook his head
"water is enough" he answers shortly
their drinks clank down at the bottom of the machinary and some gulping could be heard subseuquently. suna exhales lowly after drinking some refreshment. the wind passes and gives a cold whisk ontop of their skin, the sky is painted deep orange along with pale red. they soon walk in silence with the cold bottles, hers being a can of juice in their hands.
"can we play again?" she unexpectedly mutters shyly
suna glances at her, the tip of her ears turning incredibly red. "don't you have your own friends?" he mentions as he takes another sip. "i know quite a few people but only one or two are actually my friends and neither of them plays volleyball" she explains with her eyes shut
"if you're that wishful to learn the sport why not join your school volleyball club?"
she groans "i can't, my father doesn't let me join any after school activities"
"why?" sounding invasive only crossed his mind once she gave him an answer
"my dad is very strict, i need to be home before five he says" she mocks her father at the end of her sentence in a playful intention
"you're already pass your curfew, you child"
"you look the same age as me though"
"oh really?" they banter and it felt like they have known each other by a relatively long time. he enjoys her company it's fairly not too solemn and to him it feels nice to have a friendly jest with someone who won't intend to cause any issues unlike some two other people..
the usual tranquil in every interaction seem to be becoming consistent and recurring, they soon throw their bottles away in the trash bin sitting down the street like any other decent person
"so can we play again?" she asks the second time with a little more anticipation
suna didn't answer and only looks at her emotionlessly. does he really want to? she was nice but she's rather tenacious, there was a moment where he wanted to leave during the whole session. it seems the longer he stayed quiet, the more she became impatient
"come on! the guys who plays at the public court always looks intimadating"
"and i'm not?" he snickers while his eyebrow rose
"well, i didn't have the ideal impression of you at first though but now you seem like a cool guy" she explains giving him a small thumbs up
"do you mean when you rescued me in the market?"
"no, earlier than that" suna thinks for a moment to the point of looking up on the dark sky before the memory finally getting into his head
"oh, you mean the birdnest hair? yeah i remember now" he teases with a little smile
"it's not like you looked any better with your own hair at the time"
"so─!" she starts a little louder than her monotonious voice before smiling at him keenly exactly how she eyed him the last time they met "how about it city boy!"
suna sighs and scrunched his nose at the nickname, he presumes because of his unfamiliar dialect "you're that persistent, and why city boy?"
"i never got your name after all this time, you know" nor did he ever got her name
suna looks down for a moment, he couldn't fathom what is wrong with him just telling her his name, it's not like he won't get hers when he answers.
"suna rintarou" he replies blankly
"suna rintarou?" she says questioningly, he nods his head
"suna rintarou... suna rintarou" she repeats in a breathy whisper as if engraving his name in her mind
"l/n y/n" she introduces herself back, "nice to meet you, suna" suna didn't reply much and only says "likewise" back and continuous the conversation where they have left just before the introduction.
suna rests his hand in his pocket, "you seem too willing to hang out with someone you only met thrice"
"i like you anyway so it's fine!" she beams a little too bluntly and it didn't help how she closed the proximity between them, literally doesn't intend to let him go off the question.
"sure" he mouthed rather than openly saying it
"what?"
"i said i'll think about it" he claims as he turns his back to her to turn on the side of the sidewalks, "see you! you should know by now where to find me if you ever want to see me" she emphasized, waving her hands at him which suna imitated briefly before disappearing to her sight completely.
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"curse you gate!"
the door slides open revealing her father staring at her expectantly waiting for her with his arms crossed just rught after she got inside the platform
"what's your excuse this time?" he awaits, his finger tapping his forearm
y/n stops her foot on the soft muck as she faces her humble abode. she struggles to open the gate as quietly as possibly but the damned steel gate really wanted her caught, huh?
"i.. was playing volleyball.." she says with all honesty as she step infront of the doorstep
"alone again?" his father assumes, he doesn't understand why she keeps sneaking out outside just to be doing things all by herself
"nope, with a newly found friend this time" y/n murmurs as she takes off her shoes before entering her home nonchalantly. she wouldn't mind getting in trouble for the day and her father takes note of her uplifted mood quizzically
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Common Guidelines for Roleplay
//Yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but trying your best to adhere to these basic guidelines will not only make you a better RPer, but it will better ensure that other people enjoy RPing with you. Anything that breaks away from this list should be discussed with your co-writers. Most of this list was taken from http://rsroleplay.wikia.com/wi... and just edited down to make it more concise, put it in more of an order of importance (per my opinion), as well as adding my own explainations/clarifications here and there.
DO NOT POWERPLAY
Powerplaying occurs when a player operates someone else's character without the other player's consent. The most blatant example of this would be a player writing, "Your character falls off the cliff when he walks up to it." You can ONLY pilot your own character, this should be obvious, but it happens all too often. Think of it a bit more like real life. It would be great if we could control the actions, words and thoughts of others...but we can't. We can cajole and manipulate, therefore your character can too. If you can actually manage to fool your co-writer and they do what you had hoped, that's fine. Otherwise you need only communicate with them and see if they'll play along before hand. Never assume and never write another person's character without consent. I'm including Auto-hitting with Powerplay because of the similarities.
Auto-hitting is when you are roleplaying a fight, and you assume success without allowing the other Roleplayer a chance to react; be it block or counterattack, or even choosing to take a hit...which all good Roleplayers are willing to do (within reason). It should also go without saying, that never, under any circumstances should anyone assume to kill off someone else's character without express consent.
(Of course if your character is a human and you're roleplaying with a supernatural character, you should probably assume the other character's success about 90% of the time. Then again if you're writing erotic material, you can usually assume the other character is going to allow your character to give them pleasure. But again, if ever you're unsure, just communicate with your co-writers.)
DO NOT GOD-MOD
Most RPers have at least heard of the term, if not understood it fully. Godmodding is when a character features god-like abilities (even when RPing a God or God-like character), such as invincibility or mind control, or other unfair powers. It's also considered godmodding to refuse to allow your character to take a hit/get hurt in fights, deflect any and all attacks, or ignore other role-players in scenarios in which said role-players are attempting to attack you. Nobody's good at everything; try and keep yourself in check. (It's also not much fun to RP with someone who does this, so if you do, don't be surprised if not many people want to write with you - including me.)
DO NOT MARY-SUE
A Mary-Sue is a specific kind of character that is usually considered literarily reprehensible and otherwise unpleasant for others to play alongside. For example, a character who’s too perfect, lacking realistic or logical flaws, or whose flaws do not affect them in real ways; A character who’s exactly like their creator, except idealized or made “better”. (E.g. more attractive, smarter, given skills, abilities & powers the creator wishes they could have.) Essentially, the creator is inserting themselves into the story, but without the flaws, quirks & limits that make them interesting and relatable.
DO NOT MIX OOC AND IC
Related to metagaming, it is considered taboo to "mix ic and ooc." That is, players are generally encouraged not to associate information and events that occurred between active, playing characters and events that occur between the role-players themselves. Most often, when players associate OOC information with their IC behavior, whether it be how they perceive another character or actually acting on information they wouldn't otherwise have, it's called metagaming.
DO NOT LOREBREAK
Lorebreaking is when a character breaks known/canon lore, but more specifically anything that likely affects a character or scenario. The basis for these commonalities is origin, culture, and known historical events, etc. Lorebending, a similar term, is when existing lore is lightly modified (Hence the term lore bending), but not significantly or in a way that detracts from the role-playing experience. Often this has to do with ideas that are neither supported nor contradicted by existing lore. I put this near the bottom of the list because people often choose to Roleplay "Alternate Universe" with a Canon Character, and change things up. Which is fine, as long as your co-writers are fine with it as well. Original Characters are not held as accountable for Lorebreaking, obviously...as they create their own. But they should never change their own lore on a whim in order to suit a given agenda. Roleplayers who choose to create original characters who are in any way connected to a canon character, should at least do their research regarding the canon characters lore, and stay as true to that as possible (or at least discuss that lore with the writer piloting the canon character). This rule overall can get a bit hazy when you have both book and film lore that do not entirely agree. In this case it is perfectly okay to choose either. As always, talk to your fellow roleplayers and figure out what works for both of you.
DO NOT METAGAME
Metagaming is when a player applies OOC-retrieved information to their IC character, such as participating in a war that you only saw was stated to be happening on a clan's thread on forums, or a character knowing what will happen because the plot was discussed before hand, and/or knowing a character's name because you saw their username. This is the most commonly broken rule of role-play.
//Some personal additions of my own:
- Please have patience and respect your co-writer's free time. I know that sometimes we're enthusiastic or just get bored waiting, but many of us work and have families as well as other real life responsibilities. Someone may also put a great deal of time and effort into replies, so they take time...and there may also be times when a RPer is having a bad day or just isn't feeling inspired. I know for me if you put the pressure on you're less likely to get replies, because it starts to feel too much like work.
- Be cautious of making an RP all about your character (particularly in group RPs). Your co-writers are not NPCs, nor are they merely supporting characters to your own. Trust me when I say, no one will want to write with you if you do this. RPs are collaborative. Either learn to interact and work as a team, or go off on your own...maybe write some fanfiction.
- I would also remind RPers that this is fantasy....anything can happen. So...please don’t play it “safe”. Yes, there are repercussions to RP actions and reactions, but they’re fiction. So go for it. Being too passive makes for boring RP. Don’t make your writing partner do all the work of telling the story and expect them to stay interested. It’s a collaborative effort, that’s why it’s fun. If you’re unsure about writing something, just ask OOC! If the repercussion to something your character did was too much, ask for a do-over (the worst that can happen is your fellow RPer says "no").
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