#// not yet but in a few months. as spring comes around so. february/march.

[hellguarded-moved]

// speaking of horn shedding. gonna be that time soon again

[leiawritesstories]

1778 (my soldier boy) pt. 2

Oh it's @sjmromanceweek??? here have some rowaelin romance 🥰

part 2 to 1778 (my soldier boy)

word count: 2.8k

warnings: injury, pregnancy, minor swearing

enjoy!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

14 February 1779

Heart of my heart, 

I miss you. We miss you. After you went back to your troops, after you marched down to Savannah, I held off the desperation for as long as I could. I turned back to the pub, my second home, and let my customers and fellow pub staff–who are far too good to me–comfort me. They cheered me up, told me to have hope in our brave soldier boys. 

But for weeks and months, there was no news. And then, just after Christmas, there was news, but it was terrible, awful news. The worst news. Your name stayed out of the papers, and so I clung to hope. I keep clinging to hope. I hope for you, and I hope for our child. Yes, my love, our child. I ignored the signs for as long as possible, until I started to swell and the landlady, bless her dear sweet soul, sat me down and asked, “How long?” 

Four months, now. Over four months since we conceived a child. Four months since you marched down South, leaving silence in your wake. 

I miss you so desperately, Rowan, my soldier boy. Every night, I fall asleep with your portrait, praying for your safety and return. I felt our baby move for the first time today, and it nearly cracked my heart in two wishing you were here to feel the little flutter. Even so, I cling to the hope that you are safe and well and leading your fearless troops. 

Come home, my soldier boy. 

To whatever end, 

Aelin

~

After months of bitter winter, the snow was finally melting away, leaving room for the first timid patches of green spring life to bloom. Watery sunlight shone through the gray, chilly skies, and Aelin wrapped her woolen cloak tighter around herself as she headed home, her boots squelching in the slushy mud that had overtaken the streets. Instinctively, one gloved hand dropped to the curve of her rounded stomach, rubbing soft circles over the little one within. 

“We’re almost home,” she promised. “Then you can eat, I promise.” She cracked a soft, fleeting smile; the baby was a ravenous force of hunger, always wanting food at all hours of the day and night. 

A few minutes later, she was at her house, and she unlocked the door and entered, leaving her muddy boots and cloak in the small mudroom. Pressing her hands to the small of her back, she stretched for a moment, easing some of the pressure in her back, and went into the kitchen. After a hearty dinner, she felt much improved–and rather sleepy–so she headed into her bedroom, intent on washing up and tumbling into bed. 

Her eyes snagged on the miniature portrait above the bed, and tears clouded her eyes. The baby kicked, sensing Aelin’s emotional shift, and she cradled her growing bump, murmuring words of comfort. “Don’t worry, little one. Your father will be here, hopefully soon.” Sighing, she sank to her knees and pulled a small, beautifully worked wooden box out from beneath the bed. She opened the box, laid its lid carefully to the side, and sifted through the stack of cleanly folded papers, each one tied with a bright green thread and bearing the same name on the front. 

Rowan.

Four–nearly five–months of letters addressed to her soldier boy, none of them sent because she did not know where to send them. Four–nearly five–months of hoping, praying, crying, and loving the little life that had yet to enter the world. 

It was her dearest wish that he be at her side when their baby came. 

~

Far to the south, in a cramped, swelteringly humid room, Rowan lay slumped on a lumpy straw mattress with his broken wrist immobilized in a sling and four-day-old bandages tied around the stitched-up gash across his stomach. The doctor who’d sewn him up said it was a small miracle the gash wasn’t any deeper, or something vital might have been hit. All around him were the groans and moans and stenches of wounded soldiers, the faintly rotting air of battlefield gore that never quite went away.

Heavy, labored bootsteps thudded towards Rowan. Summoning as much of his depleted strength as possible, he turned his head and cracked his eyes open, blinking in the muted light filtering in through the few filthy glass windowpanes. And gawked, speechless, at the figure beside his bed.

Just as battered and grimy as Rowan was, Aedion Ashryver summoned a smirk. “You look like shit, Whitethorn.”

Incredulous, Rowan blinked. “Ashryver?” he rasped, his voice rusty from disuse. 

“One and the same.” Aedion sat down in the simple wooden chair beside Rowan’s cot. “I’d hoped to cross paths with you while we were both stationed here, Whitethorn, but not like this.” His keen scout’s gaze scanned Rowan’s injuries. “How bad is it?” 

“I’ll live,” Rowan deadpanned. 

Aedion chuckled. “Sometimes I wonder why my sister fell in love with you and your sarcasm.” 

Mingled pain, grief, and longing rippled across Rowan’s bruised face. “Do you have anything from Aelin?” 

“I’m sorry,” Aedion murmured, “we haven’t received mail in months.” He patted Rowan’s good shoulder. “Knowing Aelin, she’ll likely have a whole stack of letters waiting for you when you’re home.” 

Bone-tired, Rowan simply nodded. “Thank you.” 

“Of course.” Aedion helped himself to the flask of water sitting on the bedside table. “Good to see you alive, brother.” 

“Good to see you still have both legs,” Rowan returned. 

Aedion flashed that trademark Ashryver smirk. “I’d be more concerned about losing an eye.” He got up and walked across the ward, stopped, and spoke to the field doctor for a few minutes, then tipped his hat at Rowan and strolled out of the hospital. 

The doctor came to his bedside. “Captain Whitethorn? I need to look at your bandages.” 

Rowan grunted in assent and pushed himself slowly up into more of a seated position. “Any reason for this?” he asked as the doctor cut through the old bandages. 

“General’s orders.” The doctor—probably in his early thirties, with bland brown hair and puffy circles shadowing his eyes—shrugged. “He should be in to see you shortly, Captain.” 

“Hell,” Rowan muttered. He hissed as the doctor pressed a warm, wet cloth to the stitched-up wound in his abdomen. 

“It’s healing cleanly, no sign of infection so far,” the doctor said, unruffled by Rowan’s grunt. 

“I suppose that’s a good thing,” Rowan returned, his words acerbic. 

The doctor nodded. “Indeed.” Swiftly, he finished cleaning the wound and rewrapped the bandages around it. Just in time, too, because General Salvaterre stepped into the ward just then, his sharp dark eyes searching for Rowan. 

He crossed the room in a small handful of strides. “Whitethorn.” 

“Sir.” Rowan managed to salute. 

Lorcan glanced at the bandages wound around Rowan’s middle and the splint binding his wrist. “You look like shit.”

“Others have said so,” Rowan grunted. “What do you need, sir?” 

“Drop the damn title, Whitethorn.” Lorcan sat down in the chair that the doctor had just vacated, waving him off to go see other patients. 

Rowan tensed. “What do you want, Salvaterre?” 

“I’m sending you up to Baltimore.” 

“Right, because I’m in perfect condition to get on a damn horse.” Rowan scoffed. 

Lorcan rolled his eyes. “In a cart, you idiot. You’re one of the best men I have, and I can’t let you rot to death in this stinkhouse while your stupid ass recovers from jumping in front of a goddamn redcoat patrol.” 

Rowan shrugged. “Any man in my patrol would have done the same.” 

“Yes, and that’s why you’re getting shipped off to Baltimore to handle the paperwork until your idiotic ass can hold a gun again.” 

“I am so thankful for your trust in me,” Rowan deadpanned. 

Lorcan bit back a rare half-smirk. “Careful how you speak to your superiors, Captain.” 

“Didn’t you just tell me to drop the titles, General?” 

“Just be glad you won’t be stuck in this sweltering hellhole,” Lorcan said, standing. “I’ll send in a pair of your patrol to get you when the cart is ready. Try not to fall off on the way to Baltimore.” 

“Aye, sir.” Rowan saluted as Lorcan left. 

About an hour later, two of the men in his squad came into the hospital, a stretcher between them. They helped Rowan onto the makeshift cot and carried him out of the hospital, where he drank in huge gulps of air that didn’t reek of blood, sweat, and shit. When he had stopped heaving for fresh air, his men hoisted him into the back of a hay cart that was in front of the hospital. The farmer driving the cart clicked his tongue, and the horses plodded into motion. Rowan settled back as best as he could into the hay. He  might as well appreciate the small comfort. 

It took two weeks to reach Baltimore, and by the time the cart pulled into the outskirts of the city, Rowan felt strong enough to sit properly. He’d gotten to know the farmer, a stoic, close-lipped older man whose fierce devotion to the Patriot army was buried beneath his even fiercer devotion to owning his farmland and taking care of his family. 

The farmer stopped at a pub. “This is where we part ways, soldier boy.” 

Rowan nodded. “Thanks again for the ride and the company, Malakai.” 

Malakai helped Rowan out of the cart, and, unexpectedly, handed him a pair of smooth wooden poles. “To help you walk,” he said. 

“I…thank you.” Rowan settled the crutches beneath his armpits, testing out their balance, and took a few careful steps. Satisfied that he had control of his movements, he stopped, waved to Malakai, and started the long trek towards the city. 

Towards Aelin. 

~

Aelin gripped the frame of her bathroom door, breathing deeply as a shooting pain raced through her abdomen. She was still at least a month and a half away from giving birth, but the midwife had warned her that she might experience pre-labor pains. Calm down, little one, she thought, rubbing circles on her swollen stomach. I know, you share my worries. We will be alright. 

We will not be afraid. 

Somewhere in the back of her heart, Aelin felt a familiar tug, as if some divine hand had reached into her soul and nudged the piece that was wholly Rowan’s. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she cradled her bump, as if soothing her baby would soothe her too. As if the faint flickers of hope that she still nourished would come alive with the sight of her soldier boy. 

She went out into the kitchen and boiled some water for a tea, then clasped her hands around the pottery mug and stared out into the bright, sunny, early spring day. The cheeriness of the late-March sun and the clear cornflower blue of the sky contrasted so sharply to the shades of gray clouding her heart, and she tried to let the sunlight through, but her mind kept drifting back to the news. 

It had been months since she had heard from Rowan, let alone from Aedion, and although she tried to keep her hopes up, her heart whispered that they were gone. 

Towards the end of her street, a lone figure walked slowly up the dirt path, too far away for Aelin to see any features clearly. It was probably just another resident, but still—her heart fluttered at the tiny, tiny possibility that it could be her Rowan. 

She shook her head. He was in Savannah. Turning away from the window, she washed out her now-empty mug, dried it, and set it back in the cabinet. Her baby kicked as she reached up to close the cabinet door, and Aelin smiled, resting her hand against her stomach. “Hello, little one,” she whispered. “Mama loves you so much.” 

A knock thudded against the front door. 

Baby kicked again, this time as if in distress. 

“Shh,” Aelin murmured, carefully padding over to the door so her footsteps didn’t creak. “’Tis likely just a neighbor.” She gently nudged aside the small flap of leather over a knothole in the door that served as her security window and peered outside. 

Then she flung the door open with shaking hands, her heartbeat thundering like the ocean surf. 

For there, standing on her front stoop, was her soldier boy. Dust and dirt streaked his clothes and skin, bandages wound around his stomach, a splint wrapped around his left arm, and crutches propped him up on his feet, but it was… 

“Ro?” she gasped, her trembling hands reaching out, half-afraid he was a dream. 

“Fireheart,” Rowan rasped, teasers gleaming in his eyes as he looked at her. As he saw the swell of her stomach. 

A sob cracked her chest as she all but yanked him into her house, throwing her arms around him. He was warm and solid and real in her embrace, and she felt the heat of his tears in her blouse as he tucked his face into her shoulder. 

“I’m so sorry,” he murmured. “I could not write.” 

She wiped her face. “Of course you could not write, Rowan. Just…just look at you.” 

He brushed a tear from her cheek. “I wanted to. It…well, the army didn’t have paper, nor did the hospital, and I’ve spent the last two weeks riding in the back of a farmer’s cart.” 

“You’re alive,” she whispered, clinging to the tangible reality of the words. 

“I am.” 

She sniffled. “We missed you so, so badly, my love.” Her hand drifted to her stomach. “Will you say hello to your father, little one?” With a bright, teary smile, she grasped Rowan’s hand and placed it on her stomach, right next to hers. 

And the baby kicked, little feet fluttering up against their hands. 

Rowan choked on a sob. “Aelin…”

“Your future daughter. Or son, however it turns out.” She let him cradle her stomach, watching him fall in love with their baby until he swayed unsteadily on his feet. Her nose wrinkled. “Ro, I wasn’t going to say it, but you stink.” 

He huffed a soft laugh. “I haven’t exactly had a bath available to me lately.” 

“We can fix that.” She took one of his crutches and let him lean on her as they went to the bath. 

At the edge of the tub, he paused, faltering. “I…Aelin, love, I’m injured.” A deep breath. “I don’t know if I can…bathe myself.” 

She tugged a chair over to the side of the tub. “Sit down.” He did, with a groan of relief. “Will you let me help you?” 

His response was a wordless mumble as his head tipped forwards, right into her arms. 

She chuckled, running her fingers through his dirt-caked hair. “All right.” It took some creative maneuvering and a handful of grumbled expletives from both of them, but she eventually got Rowan into the steaming hot bath, and once he was clean, she left a set of clean clothes on the chair for him. 

He came slowly out of the bathroom some minutes later with his shirt open. “Ae?” 

“Yes?” She was perched on the end of the bed. 

“I need to change my bandages, love, but I’m not sure I can do it myself.” 

“Come here.” She patted the space beside her, and he reluctantly walked over and sat down. She ran her fingers through his damp hair. “I know you don’t like being dependent, Ro, but I want to take care of you. And you should know that I have some medical training.” 

He sighed. “I know, and I trust you. It’s just…this damn injury is keeping me away from my men, and I hate it.” 

“I know.” She reached for his shirt. “Hold still, love.” 

A gleam sparked behind his eyes. “Say that again.” 

She smirked, and the danger edging her expression had him thinking of many, many things. “Hold still for me, love,” she murmured, her voice a soft, silken caress. 

He went completely still as she slipped off his shirt and unwound the bandages, her keen eyes assessing the healing wound on his stomach. She went into the bathroom and came back with a roll of fresh bandages and a warm, wet cloth, and she carefully cleaned the skin around his stitched-up wound and wrapped clean cotton around it. “There.” 

“Will you kiss it to make it better?” He was only half teasing. 

Aelin grinned. “Of course.” She leant down and gently kissed the bandage over his stomach. Her smile morphed into something devious, and she dipped her head just a bit farther down and—

“Fireheart,” Rowan groaned, his hand automatically cradling the back of her head. “N-not yet.” 

She braced her hands on either side of his lap and brought her head up to kiss him, lingering in its sweetness. “All right. You tell me when, my love.” 

For now, they would just drink in the sweetness of reunion.

~~~

TAGS:

@superspiritfestival

@thegreyj

@wordsafterhours

@elentiyawhitethorn

@morganofthewildfire

@backtobl4ck

@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

@tomtenadia

@julemmaes

@swankii-art-teacher

@charlizeed

@booknerdproblems

@earthtolinds

@goddess-aelin

@sweet-but-stormy

@clea-nightingale

@autumnbabylon

@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

@kittykatsogsreads

[joelslegalwhre]

hi em☀️

after a few days spent in the sun and getting too much energy for my body to contain, i’ve decided to get rid of that extra energy by spreading some good vibes around here!!

it seems that we’ve collectively gotten our asses kicked by january and february but march has begun, spring is almost there and the best part? you’ve managed to make it this far and i am so so proud of you!!

whatever you’ve been through in these past few months, know that i appreciate you. i see you. i love you.

this is your reminder that beautiful things are to come. please hold on tight, little flower and until then, a little something to lift your spirits up

here’s to a beautiful spring filled with joy and laughter with joel

much love,

anna 💗

anna my beautiful bby!🩷

I'm so happy you could charge your batteries with some sunshine!🫂

I read this when I was going through a really bad week, and nothing is perfect by any means yet, but your message really brightened my mood during that time!

I love YOU! thank you to the moon and back for your sweet and kind words, they really mean the world to me❤️ This is the most BEAUTIFUL moodboard (and will be such a nice wallpaper too👀)

I hope you'll have a beautiful spring full of light and laughter and love!🩷

[itsokbbygrl]

hi lj ☀️

after a few days spent in the sun and getting too much energy for my body to contain, i’ve decided to get rid of that extra energy by spreading some good vibes around here!!

it seems that we’ve collectively gotten our asses kicked by january and february but march has begun, spring is almost there and the best part? you’ve managed to make it this far and i am so so proud of you!!

whatever you’ve been through in these past few months, know that i appreciate you. i see you. i love you.

this is your reminder that beautiful things are to come. please hold on tight, little flower and until then, a little something to lift your spirits up

here’s to a beautiful spring filled with joy and laughter with joel

much love,

anna 💗

Oh don’t mind me, just casually weeping before 9am on a Monday. 😭 ANNA!!!!! This is SO kind!!!!! Me and pre-outbreak Joel have created a beautiful little life there, haven’t we? 🥹 (post-outbreak Joel is still a grumpy guy and hasn’t leaned into feeling soft about spring just yet)

And completely coincidentally, this moodboard is very much vibing with the earlier parts of Joel and reader’s relationship in my new fic 👀

[ufuckingpastry]

I've been feeling in a rough patch lately and most of it's manifested in insecurities and a general lack of motivation to work on any writing projects. I haven't touched PB since I put it on hiatus. I came up with a really fun writing series that just petered off into nothing. I've barely progressed and done anything, even though I'm having all these cool story ideas!

If you've been here for a while, you might've noticed that I stopped writing a couple years back, right around when Homestuck ended. Homestuck was the first major fandom I was in and the first one I posted fanfic for. My AO3 has 50 works just for Homestuck. And, when it ended, it felt like so did my desire to create.

Of course, this was right around my last year of college and ohhhhh fuck that was stressful. Plus I got really into WoW too. I didn’t really have much time to write in general.

I struggled for 3 years feeling like I could barely write anything at all. I was in such a depressive funk at the time, and the feeling like I couldn't create only worsened it. It took me 3 months to write 1000 words.

And then, one day, something amazing happened. I got into dsmp, I got into these characters, and on a whim, I sat down and wrote my first fic for it. In the span of 3 days, I wrote 3000 words! And I was happy! And I posted it and people seemed to love it!

My AO3 now has at least 30 fics just for dsmp, and I've got folders upon folders of other projects and ideas springing up every day for new fics for other smp series!

And yet, I'm starting to see myself falter. With the dsmp ending, and especially ending like it did, it reminds me so much of Homestuck. And I see myself doing the same things and behaving the same way I did 6 years ago. Struggling to write. A lack of focus and motivation to work on any of my projects. An external source of immense stress that makes me feel like I don’t have much time to write anymore.

And it's frustrating on a personal level to see that. Therapy opened my eyes to recognizing my patterns of behavior. I can prevent myself from spiraling. I can recognize when I need a break and I can take that break and barely feel guilty for it. And yet, here I am again. Will it soon take me a month to write 1000 words?

Have I even written 1000 words this very month?

... so I've written 5000.

In 2022, I decided that I wanted to track my yearly word count. I wrote so MUCH in 2021 that I broke 100k words posted on AO3 for that year. But that was just finished works! None of my wips, which I knew I had a lot more of! So I tracked my word count in 2022 and I think I hit around 150k? And that's impressive! That's cool!

So I did it again for 2023. But it's been harder to keep up with that over the last few months. I've been in a limbo of not knowing how many words I've written. Based on the fact that I haven't made any progress on my fics, that number must be very low, I thought.

And then I updated my word count yesterday. And I realized something:

I've written over 5000 words this month. Which isn't a lot, sure, but it's a lot for me. And, you know what? That's on track for January and February. March was fucking wild cuz I broke 14k words in March. And I know from tracking it last year, whenever I get a huge spike of words in one month, it takes maybe another month to recover. So my next month won't be as big or grand, but that's okay.

And that made me sit back and really look at what that means. I've been rping a lot, which is where the majority of those words come from. I wrote 1.5k words in a single DAY and I'm over here wondering why I don't have any words left in me! When I was in my last writing slump, I was still rping. All I did was rp.

I'm still writing, even when I don't think I am. I'm still expressing myself in these creative outlets even when I don't think it's "real writing". And why does it matter what's real writing anyways? Isn't it enough that I'm still doing it?

It is. It is enough. Therapy helped me recognize my patterns of behavior, and sometimes the answer really is to just. Take a break.

It'll still be here when you get back.

[dingus-on-stardust]

📞what do you mean wrapped is already out? It came out this morning? Oh god oh fuck it’s time for-

✨Music Rant: 2023 Wrapped Edition✨

It’s time to absolutely roast review my stats for this year, compare them to last year, and see what Spotify cooked up. Slight warning, this shit is very long and I didn’t realize it until the end so get ready to read lmao.

Genre Sammich

Starting off, we got genres. I listened to 49 different ones this year! While it is a lot, compared to last year, I listened to 57 different genres. I do wonder if that has to do with Spotify swapping different genres around, like what is “pov: indie” lmao. Anyways, my top genres are as follows, presented in a delightful music sandwich.

All of it is not surprising. What is surprising is there’s no “emo”, “rock”, or “punk” anywhere. Because those genres certainly pop up on my best artists.

My Wrapped VS The World

Up next, we have locations…? Haven’t really seen this before, but apparently spotify matches your music tastes with locations with similar tastes. I got Colorado Springs, CO, to which Spotify says “people there are far more likely to be fans of Fall Out Boy, Set It Off, and STARSET”. Interesting to say the least, but can anyone there actually confirm lmao.

No One Is Surprised (Least Of All Me)

Next on the list is song stats, specifically how many songs you’ve listened to this year, AND the one at the top. I listened to 2,606 songs in total, and as Spotify put it “and there was one that *really* connected”. No one is surprised, So Much (For) Stardust stole the title of top song in a landslide victory. With 940 plays in total, that is about 75.7 hours straight. For reference, My Demons, my top song last year, was a measly 112 plays.

No One Is Surprised (Part 2 Electric Boogaloo)

Following Stardust, my Top 5…. Are also all selections from SM(F)S. We got Love From The Other Side, Heartbreak Feels So Good, Hold Me Like A Grudge, and finally, Flu Game to round out the list. I still find it a little funny that FOB took over my heart so much this year. Last year, yeah I was obsessed with STARSET, but I still had a healthy mix of other artists like Caravan Palace and Set It Off. Yet this year it’s a certified Fall Out Boy SWEEEEEP.

WDYM It’s December? 2023 Just Started!

Time goes so fast bruh I swear I just blinked and it’s already over. Speaking of, how much time did I actually spend on Spotify as a whole? Well, according to the stats, I listened for 64,800 minutes this year. Which, is actually pretty much the same as last year, give or take a few thousand minutes. Not going to lie, I thought it would’ve been much higher, breaking into 70,000 or even 80,000. Knowing that number though, doing some quick math, I spent a whole 7% of that time just on ONE song. Just on mfing STARDUST. I’m not ashamed I’m just in awe lmao.

Everyone’s A 0.5% Fan

1,289 Artists this year, and anyone want to guess who’s on top? The joke is getting old, but still, surprising no one, Fall Out Boy, with 17,914 minutes, steals the throne from STARSET (6,521 mins in 2022) in a landslide victory. Putting me in the top 0.005% of fans.

Royal Artist Court

Top 5 Artists are lookin’ real similar to last years ngl. Yet we got more crumbs of info this year compared to others!

Fall Out Boy was pretty low in the charts, up until a sharp spike in March (I wonder why). Staying high all the way through the year.

STARSET coming in at number 2, started the year off really strong before suddenly dropping in March. Then coasting through the year with short waves and spikes every other month or so, but never really regaining ground.

Caravan Palace in number 3, pretty much the same as STARSET in terms of stats, but it really lost ground in August and hasn’t recovered (I’m sorry Caravan Palace I still love you lmao).

Set It Off in number 4, started January really strong, lost traction in February, and stayed dormant until May. Then, sudden spike in June, and coasted throughout the rest of the year reasonably moderately.

Finally, Toby Fox, with the most erratic set of data. Instead of being a steady wave throughout the year, there’s sharp peaks of activity some months, and virtually nothing other months. Notably, peaking around April, sharp spike in May, dead until a huge spike August- September, and another hill in October.

Spotify Watched One (1) Episode Of Yu-Gi-Oh

We’re almost done I swear. We have been presented with a card that represents our listening style. Last year, for example, it was a “Listening Personality” which deduced I was an “Adventurer”. This year, I’ve been presented with a card called “Time Traveler”, which is described as “travel back in time and listen to songs on repeat”. I wonder who the culprit is, cough (sm(f)s with 940 plays), cough. The design is pretty cool ngl, I’d get this as an actual trading card print if available.

Anyways, TL;DR 😒

Here’s the compressed rundown of my stats this year!

Well, that was fun. Hope to see y’all again next year!

(PS if you actually read this all you’re the coolest, have the best day ever)

[amoveablejake]

My Five Key Songs of February 2023

Round ups a-plenty. 

It may be the end of February but I am already thinking a little about what the key songs for March will be. I’m looking slightly ahead because there are a few songs that have appeared at the tail end of this month that aren’t quite going to make the cut and I wonder if they will be able to stick around long enough to be on the next list. I have a feeling they will alongside some tracks that will arise from a trip that will be taking place soon but that is all to come. For now it is time to look at the final key songs of the winter as we move into spring which I’ve decided even if the weather doesn’t agree. So, lets take a look at what February 2023 had in store in my headphones.

First up, ‘California Stars’ by Wilco and Billy Bragg. 

There are certain tracks that I always expect to be on the shortlist for each month and artists that I would be very surprised if they didn’t make an appearance with at least one offering. Each month, Wilco are there and for February it is their song with Billy Bragg ‘California Stars’ that I have become particularly taken with. As I found this track from ‘Mermaid Avenue’ it did make me think of being in California but more than that it put me in mind of going on a journey and feeling the sun shining on you somewhere a bit different. It is definitely a more American song so it might not exactly fit where I am about to venture off to however, its the sort of song that will probably be playing regardless as its the sort of track that feels like a magnet for memories to be associated with it to then listen back to in years to come and bask in the glow of. 

Second up for February, ‘Movement 1′ by Floating Points. 

After last week’s album of the week piece and my glowing adoration for ‘Promises’ from which ‘Movement 1′ has been lifted from, it is perhaps a surprise that a song from Floating Points is not the key song for this month. First of all, it is not because it has faced some very tough competition but also because there is no rush for it to feature now in order to make its way to the end of year playlist. ‘Promises’ and its truly mesmerising and breathtaking songs I am sure will be playing throughout the year and the chance will arise again for them to take their place and even if that doesn’t happen this year, it might very well in the next. There is no rush. ‘Promises’ feels to me like it will be on my roster for a long, long time and as I listen to ‘Movement 1′ now I am reminded of that with every note and melody. Primarily because everytime I listen to this album whilst I am trying to do something it leads me away from that task and straight into its open musical arms where you simply exist in the rich soundscape it has created to draw on again and again. Perfection. 

The third song up to bat, ‘Truth Interlude’ by Mndsgn. 

When I first heard ‘Truth Interlude’ one afternoon in February, it was the exact song that I needed in that moment. A much needed breath of fresh air to help put a spring in your step. Coming in at one minute and seven seconds long, it is really only an interlude as its title would suggest and should be listened to in exactly that way. This is a song to turn to when you need that little moment to help you get out of your head and to lean back for a moment. I don’t listen to it a great deal but whenever I do need a song to quickly work its way into my system and to help me breathe, I know that I can rely on ‘Truth Interlude’ and infact Mndsgn’s ‘Rare Pleasures’ album itself is also a worthy addition into any library and one that will help to form a bridge out of the winter and into sunnier days. 

The penultimate song for this month, ‘Drive My Car (Misaki)’.

Where would I be without the ‘Drive My Car’ soundtrack. As will come as no surprise at all to regular readers, Eiko Ishibashi’s seminal musical work is appearing yet again this month and really, how could it not. I have at times this month been listening to the soundtrack on repeat throughout the day and into the evening as its eternal magic continues to have a hold on me that really, I am all the better for. This month’s standout song from the record ‘Drive My Car (Misaki)’ is one that I remember listening to for the first time and feeling it sweep me up into it and take a hold of me. Everytime I listen to this song I feel that same initial feeling of warmth and tranquility as listening to it feels almost like a homecoming. This track and the album as a whole have become over the past year so integral to my day to day and self that it now almost feels like a limb or at the very least an extension of my self that I am truly all the better for having. 

Then, without further ado, the key song for February 2023 is, ‘Long Long Time’ by Linda Ronstadt. 

When I was looking over my shortlist for the tracks that could potentially feature today, the moment I saw ‘Long Long Time’ I knew that it had to be the key song. Yes, it is featuring because of the beautiful episode of ‘The Last of Us’ that I have lifted it from. One of the most exquisite episodes of television that I have ever seen and if you haven’t seen it quite yet, oh boy, does that need to change. It is also featuring here because as I made my way to Brighton back at the beginning of the month and had a few train issues, I listened to Linda Ronstadt’s music to help me through the last part of that journey where it did feel a little bit like ‘The Last of Us’ actually. But really, ‘Long Long Time’ has to be the key song for February 2023 because Ronstadt’s voice here is indescribable. This feels like Ronstadt at her very best and one of the best country songs around or rather to me it is. Some of the notes that Ronstadt hits here are the sort of ones that could move you to tears instantly and when it accompanied that episode of Joel and Ellie’s journey, there was no hope of a dry eye left really was there. 

The key songs for February 2023, there we have it and as I say in my head it is now the end of winter as March will herald in the next season. How that will impact the song choices for next month and the music that I listen to, I really don’t know but what I do know is that if anything is going to make an impact it will be somewhere a little different that I will be soon. Stay tuned for more and a different setting for my ongoing detective series. 

-Jake, a man getting to the end of ‘College Park’ and going right back to the beginning, 26/02/2023

[thegrandimago]

This time last April, on the 50th anniversary of Earth Day, the world was coming to grips with the isolation of quarantine and the economic and travel slowdowns that defined the first wave of the Covid-19 pandemic. Even now, with the rollout of vaccines, the virus continues to affect our daily lives. And the toll keeps growing: 3 million dead and more than 140 million cases worldwide.

If anything, the worst public health crisis in a century has brought our understanding of our planet, and our place in the fragile yet resilient web of life throughout it, into stark relief.

Amid so much grief and loss and uncertainty, the biodiversity crisis paced ahead over the past year, becoming a much bigger theme on the world stage. The climate crisis worsened, too. Wildfires blazed. Ecosystems became even more fouled up than they already were.

At the same time, the marked reduction in human activity spurred by the pandemic — what some experts have dubbed the “Anthropause” — has afforded scientists and researchers opportunities to observe the natural world like never before. Coinciding with these unique observational windows has been an increase in attention on Indigenous knowledge and land stewardship as a way forward in combating ecological catastrophe.

In true Vox tradition, here are the 10 most concerning, intriguing, and — dare we say — hopeful things we learned about our planet since the last Earth Day.

1) We saw just how quickly ocean noise pollution can drop, and how much that can help marine life

For a moment last spring, things got very quiet in the oceans.

The drop in human activity that came with the pandemic resulted in drastic and voluntary sound reductions that ran the underwater gamut: from a drop in shipping noise, the predominant source of man-made ocean noise pollution, to decreases in recreation and tourism. All of it suddenly ceased.

In Alaska’s Glacier Bay National Park, the foraging grounds of humpback whales, the loudest underwater sounds last May were less than half as loud as those in May 2018, according to a Cornell University analysis. A May 2020 paper in the Journal of the Acoustical Society of America found that underwater noise off the Vancouver coast was half as loud in April as the loudest sounds recorded in the months preceding the shipping traffic slowdown.

Chronic underwater ocean noise had been rising over the past few decades, to the detriment of marine life that have evolved to use sound to navigate their world. “There is clear evidence that noise compromises hearing ability and induces physiological and behavioral changes in marine animals,” reads an assessment of marine noise pollution research published in the journal Science in February.

The majority of ocean noise pollution is a byproduct of economic activity. But compared with massively complex issues like climate change, noise is relatively easy to turn down, at least a little. Silencing it at its source has an immediate positive impact: Famously, researchers studying right whales on the East Coast measured a drop in the animals’ stress hormones in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, after shipping traffic abruptly dropped. Even tiny fish larvae are better able to locate the coral reefs where they were born, which themselves emit sound, when the oceans get quiet.

Man-made ocean noise has since ramped back up and is now stabilized near pre-pandemic levels. But it fell silent for long enough last March, April, and May that a global team of scientists is actively scrubbing through audio recordings gathered by around 230 non-military hydrophones — underwater microphones — that monitor ocean noise around the world. They aim to study the “year of the quiet ocean” in the context of ocean sounds before, during, and after the pandemic.

2) A new study found that the Amazon is likely warming — not cooling — the planet

The world’s largest and most species-rich tropical forest, the Amazon, is home to billions of trees that not only provide refuge to a diverse assemblage of organisms but also store and absorb a huge amount of carbon dioxide.

That’s what makes the conclusion of a study published this spring so alarming: Due to human activity, the Amazon is likely contributing to — not offsetting, as one might expect— global warming. “The current net biogeochemical effect of the Amazon Basin is most likely to warm the atmosphere,” the researchers wrote in the paper.

While the Amazon is still absorbing loads of CO2, human activities in the basin, such as deforestation, are driving up emissions of CO2 and other more potent greenhouse gases like methane and nitrous oxide across the basin.

Deforestation, for one, deals a double punch: It both releases gases into the atmosphere and removes CO2-absorbing trees from the equation. That equation now sees the Amazon generating more greenhouse gases than it emits, the study suggests. (It’s worth noting, though, this is all really complicated. For more, check out Craig Welch’s story in National Geographic or read the full study here.)

3) We discovered a bunch of new species

While humans have made a mark on all corners of Earth, we’ve only discovered a small fraction of the species that occupy it. In fact, that fraction could be smaller than 1 percent. And remarkably, not all of those species are tiny microbes and insects. They’re also fish, lizards, bats, and even whales. That’s right: Even giant mammals can elude scientists.

In January, researchers at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration said they discovered a new species of baleen whale in the Gulf of Mexico. (You can find the paper describing the discovery here.) Other teams of scientists are also on the trail of what could be yet another new whale species.

Last year, researchers documented scores of new plants and animals, from geckos and sea slugs to flowering plants and sand dollars, as Vox’s Brian Resnick reported. Our favorite? Brookesia nana, a thumbnail-sized chameleon native to northern Madagascar. It may be the smallest reptile on Earth; it’s certainly the cutest.

4) We got a much clearer picture of just how much wildlife we’re losing

The numbers aren’t good.

In September, the World Wildlife Fund published a report showing that the global populations of several major animal groups, including mammals and birds, have declined by almost 70 percent in the last 50 years due to human activity.

A separate report, published in Nature this year, found that populations of ocean sharks and rays have plummeted by more than 70 percent in roughly the same period. And one-third of freshwater fish have been found to be at risk of extinction.

A number of species were also declared extinct over the last year. Those include the smooth handfish, a bottom-dweller that rests atop human-like appendages on the seafloor. It was the first marine fish species to be declared extinct in modern history. (Environmental journalist John Platt has a list of recent extinctions in 2020 at Scientific American.)

5) Protecting plants and animals hinges on a thriving ecotourism industry

In the early days of the pandemic, the popular “Nature is healing” meme overshadowed a darker reality in many parts of the world: As travel ground to a halt, so did revenue from wildlife tourism, putting some wildlife conservation efforts at risk.

The fallout was most severe in Africa. According to a new collection of research from the International Union for Conservation of Nature (IUCN), a government and civil society group, more than half of the continent’s protected areas had to pause or limit field patrols and other operations to stop poachers in the wake of the pandemic.

“Parks have emptied out to a large extent and there’s no money coming in,” Nigel Dudley, a co-author of one of the IUCN papers, told Reuters last month.

Some communities are deeply reliant on wildlife tourism. Late last year, Vox’s Brian Resnick spoke to veterinarian Gladys Kalema-Zikusoka, who is working to keep coronavirus-susceptible gorillas alive in Uganda’s Bwindi Impenetrable National Park.

When tourism dropped, “everybody was struggling,” she said. “The local economy suffered and poaching went up.” (You can read more of Resnick’s conversation with her here.)

6) Researchers uncovered more proof that a key system of ocean currents is weakening

Graphics that show changes in ocean temperature over time generally reveal one trend: The ocean is heating up. But there’s one critical exception. Just below Greenland lies a large patch of water that’s cooling off. And that patch has scientists concerned that we could be nearing a tipping point for the climate.

The cold patch, scientists say, signals that a network of currents that bring warm water to the North Atlantic — known as the Atlantic Meridional Overturning Circulation, or AMOC — is slowing down, and the melting of ice on Greenland is likely a culprit. One paper, published in the journal Nature in March, suggests that the current AMOC slowdown is “unprecedented in over a thousand years.”

The AMOC shapes weather across multiple continents, so any major slowdown will carry major consequences that could include faster sea-level rise in some regions, stronger hurricanes, and other changes in weather, to say nothing of the impacts to marine ecosystems.

But to be clear, the science on this is new and complex. For a great run-down, check out this recent visual feature in the New York Times.

7) The asteroid that killed the dinosaurs gave rise to the Amazon rainforest

The massive asteroid that struck Earth 66 million years ago may be best known for driving non-avian dinosaurs to extinction, but it also transformed entire ecosystems.

It may have even given rise to the Amazon rainforest, according to a study published in Science earlier this month. The finding is based on an analysis of about 50,000 fossil pollen records and 6,000 fossil leaf records in Colombia from before and after the asteroid crashed into what is now Mexico’s Yucatan Peninsula.

The data reveals two vastly different forests. Before the event, the forests were stocked with conifers and ferns, and the trees were spread out, with plenty of room for light to stream through the canopy. After the asteroid event, however, flowering plants started to dominate the landscape and the canopy became much more tightly packed, resembling the forest we know today.

“If you returned to the day before the meteorite fall, the forest would have an open canopy with a lot of ferns, many conifers, and dinosaurs,” study co-author Carlos Jaramillo of the Smithsonian Tropical Research Institute in Panama told New Scientist. “The forest we have today is the product of one event 66 million years ago.”

The idea here is that the asteroid impact somehow triggered a series of events that led to the modern Amazon rainforest. What were those events? One theory the researchers offer is that, before the asteroid, herbivorous dinosaurs prevented the forest from becoming dense by eating and trampling plants.

8) A review of more than 300 studies showed that the rate of deforestation is lower on Indigenous lands

The global conservation movement is pushing forward a plan to conserve 30 percent of the Earth by 2030 — an initiative known as 30 by 30 — and increasingly calling for Indigenous communities to be central to that effort.

These groups have historically been uprooted from land in the name of wildlife conservation. There is also greater evidence that forests fare better when they are governed by Indigenous and tribal territories.

A recent UN review of more than 300 studies found that forests within tribal territories in Latin America and the Caribbean have significantly lower rates of deforestation where land rights are formally recognized.

“In just about every country in the region Indigenous and tribal territories have lower deforestation rates than other forest areas,” wrote the authors of the report, which was published by the UN’s Food and Agriculture Organization and the Fund for the Development of Indigenous Peoples of Latin America and the Caribbean. “Many Indigenous territories prevent deforestation as effectively as non-Indigenous protected areas, and some even more effectively.”

9) Wildfire smoke can turn the sky an apocalyptic orange

If there was one day in 2020 that defined the climate emergency, it could have been September 9, when the sky above San Francisco turned completely orange.

Strong winds had carried smoke from fires burning across California to the atmosphere above the city. Particles of soot absorbed or reflected blue light from the sun, letting only orange-ish light through. (Wired has the details.)

But what made the image go viral wasn’t so much the science but what it symbolized: a growing climate catastrophe.

Climate change is making wildfires more frequent and severe, and 2020 provided more devastating evidence. Last year was California’s worst wildfire season on record. By the end of the year, nearly 10,000 fires had burned over 4 million acres — an astonishing 4 percent of California’s total land, according to the state.

10) Scientists finally solved the mystery of why wombats poop cubes

Sure, it may not have kept you up at night, but the mystery of the bare-nosed wombat’s poop puzzled scientists for decades. Why do these adorable, chunky marsupials, native to Australia and Tasmania, leave behind feces with six sides?

Thanks to a new study — published in the journal Soft Matter — we now have the answer.

Building on research published a few years earlier, a team of scientists found that wombat intestines have regions of varying thickness and elasticity that contract at different speeds: The stiffer regions contract relatively quickly, while softer sections squeeze more slowly, together forming a cube-like shape.

But there’s still a bit of mystery left: Why is their poop shaped like this? The jury’s still out, but some researchers believe it’s because wombats climb up on rocks and logs, and the cube-like shape prevents the feces from rolling away. This is key for wombats because they use piles of feces to communicate with other wombats.

What a difference a year makes, truly.

[mytwistedhome]

𝓝𝓮𝓲𝓰𝓮 𝓛𝓮𝓫𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓬𝓱𝓮 ~ 𝓦𝓲𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓐𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓥𝓪𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓮'𝓼

Gender-Neutral Reader ; written in present tense & second person pov

I, personally, adore Valentine's Day no matter my relationships, but I know that this day is associated with loneliness for a lot of people, so... this particular story was written for that feeling in mind. I hope you all are able to find love and allow it into your hearts every day in any way.

You're standing at the edge of the wishing well, with beautiful clothes and your hair done well. The air is warm for the coming of March, and the sun melts away the last mounds of shimmering snow on this final February morning.

And, with snow in mind, you remember Neige, whose name and essence is that of snow. He was the one who asked you here just a week ago. It's the reason why you're dressed so nicely right now—he insisted upon a day with you soon, and of course, a day with him by your side was reason enough to look your best. This morning, however, you found it difficult to put the effort into getting ready. There was a hesitance weighing you down upon rising from your bed; an identifiable feeling that made it hard to do much of anything. But, once you started, you found yourself being lifted into a better mood, and you tried to enjoy the process of getting ready and pretty.

Indeed, you look so pretty, but you don't quite feel so as you stare at your reflection in the water of the well. Though your mood as slowly gotten better over the last couple weeks, you still feel a weight at your chest. The loneliness that Valentine's brings when you spend it void of company or gifts.

You wonder if Neige had noticed you down because of that day of love... He had, after all, asked you out after seeing you sad for several days. You appreciate his thought, but you hate to think that this was out of pity, for if it's done of pity, than it isn't sincere.

But... you trust that Neige's intention isn't as such. You know him to be genuine and honest—too sweetly simple to be anything but. You know he only would ask to be with you if he, himself, truly wanted to. He had to.

You let out a breath, a deep exhalation that clears your thoughts, and you focus your gaze back to the water of the well. Slight ripples and waves are made with every small vibration that the water seems to sense, though you don't know what it could possibly be. Something so subtle to make the water tremble?

Oh, but it doesn't matter now. You look up from the well and onto the earth around you. Much of the trees are still bare from having suffered through the winter, but in just a few more weeks, everything would bud and grow green again. Everything will be full of life. You don't quite know if you're excited for or dreading this year's spring. What is spring even like in Twisted Wonderland? You realize, now, that you do not even know.

But, before you can ponder further on the things you still have yet to learn of wonderland, you a familiar voice echoing gently through the barren woods. Soft and beautiful, but projected clearly... how pretty.

The voice grows louder as the prince approaches. It is a song of no words, just voice moving up and down to create a wonderful melody—one that could entrance you for all eternity.

Louder, still, you're able to hear exactly where the voice is coming from. Your turn your head toward a clearing between the trees, catching the shadow of a young man coming into view.

"Neige!" you call out to him and wave your hand in greeting. A wide smile unexpectedly spreads over your lips; you wouldn't have guessed that you'd be as happy as this.

Neige beams when he sees you, his expression so bright it could warm any frigid winter day. Running to you, he exclaims, "I'm so happy you came!"

The joy is shared, you say in your head as Neige gets near. He does not hesitate to hug you at once, embracing you tightly as if he'd missed you dearly.

You hug him back and inhale a sweet scent of apple and daisy. He feels so warm within your arms, and you are so grateful for even this brief affection.

But, of course, the moment cannot last forever, and Neige pulls away, still standing close. "How are you?" he asks, "I know it hasn't been long since I last saw you, but it really seemed like it. You look beautiful!"

"I've been good!" you answer him. It is a white lie, or, perhaps, the goodness you feel within this moment is enough to make all of February become a fond memory. Your heart is beating fast hearing that he missed you enough to feel a drawl in the time spent away from you, and you find yourself smiling ever wider. "How has your week been?"

"It's been really good," he answers with a smile as he leans over the well, "Though, this month has not been the most fun."

Your own smile falters upon hearing that. You had been feeling the same way, and it made you sad to think that Neige could be feeling any similarly...

"Oh, no! Please, don't get the wrong idea!" he rushes to correct his words upon seeing your face fall. "It hasn't been bad at all, just less fun compared to the month before. Winning VDC was such a wonderful moment, but the weeks that followed have felt empty in comparison. That doesn't mean I didn't enjoy them." His sweet expression returns, "What about you? I know you managed the team for Vil. You did a wonderful job! But it must have felt lonely to no longer have rehearsals."

You fluttered your eyelashes, surprised how just spot on he was... The weeks have, indeed, been extremely lonely. You no longer have so many friends at your dorm, and having that companionship you didn't even realize you loved so much stripped away made for such a lonely month, and led to sulking Valentine's. Yes, "lonely" is the perfect word.

You are honest when you answer him, though you try to phrase it in a way that isn't so distressing. "Yes, you're exactly right... I miss the rehearsals and seeing everyone so often. It is lonely without them. I miss them a lot sometimes."

Neige's expression softens into one of understanding and compassion. "I completely know how you feel," he reassures you, "There's always an emptiness when we're no longer able to see the people we've become close to, but that leaves you room to get comfortable with just yourself. You don't have to feel lonely when you're alone!"

"Yes, you're right... thank you, Neige," you say, so appreciative of his kind words. Someone like him must never feel alone... There's enough love in his heart to entertain himself forever. Perhaps there was something to learn from that.

Neige takes your arm and pulls you closer toward the well. "How about we wish to never feel lonely ever again?" he smiles brightly, "I read in a story long ago... if you sing a wish into a well, and it sings it back, than it means the well has heard it, and it's sure to come true."

Your cheeks flush slightly in embarrassment, hesitating to sing in the middle of the woods. "Oh... I'm not sure..." is all your able to muster out, but of course, Neige insists.

"There's nothing to worry! Wouldn't you like to make a wish?" he laughs a little upon saying that, "I guess it is a little silly, but there's no harm in trying. Here, I'll go first."

You watch as Neige leans further over the wall, stretching gracefully with his arms gripping the stone. "I'm wishing~" he sings, his voice a perfect melody. And then, quickly, he turns his ear to the water, eyes growing wide as the well echoes his voice. "Did you hear that?" he asks you, "The well can hear us!"

You nod your head enthusiastically, showing him a beautiful smile. Wonderland is full of wonderful things... Perhaps this well is magic, too.

Neige continues with his song. "I'm wishing~" he repeats, waiting for the well's reply, and then, "For joy when I'm alone~"

The well echoes him perfectly, and you gaze down at the rippling water with so much hope. A small part of you may still doubt the magic that Neige promises, but even just believing, just pretending, is enough for you to enjoy.

"It's your turn...!" he says to you gently, beckoning you not to be shy.

You nod your head bend over the well, pressing your lips together as your heart begins to race. You hesitate a moment, but eventually find the courage to repeat the words he sang. "I'm wishing~" your voice comes out meek and soft, but there is still a faint echo that whispers back.

"Yes!" Neige exclaims, "Keep going!"

You take a breath and, with a bit more confidence, you sing, "For joy when I'm alone~" The well repeats your words clearly, assuring you that it heard, providing you with a hope that it just might come true.

As you straighten yourself beside the well, you feel a blissful lightness at your chest, and you smile true happiness. All the weight of the month sees to slip away, tumbling and drowning into the water below, leaving you with a serenity well-deserved.

You turn to Neige and smile. "Thank you. That was wonderful."

He grins in return. "I know! It's one of my favorite things to do, and you were wonderful."

Your heart flutters, and the two of you laugh together, simply happy to be with each other's company.

Neige soon breaks the pleasant stillness as he reaches his arm out to you. "Come on; we can't stay here all day. Let's take a walk together."

You nod your head and take his arm gently, linking it with yours. You walk together side-by-side across the stony pathway that led out of the woods and into the courtyard of RSA. "It's really a beautiful day," Neige says as he glances at the mounds of melting snow. "I love when the sun shines during winter. Everything is pretty."

You giggle to yourself lightly, "Yes, I agree! It's easy to be happy on a day like this." And you walk on with him, knowing that this will be a wonderful day.

[barnesbabee]

Peekaboo || P.S

Summary: Someone’s always looking...

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Reader

Words: Waaaay too many

Genre: Smut, Angst

⚠ drugs, alcohol, violence, fighting, yandere!Seonghwa, degradation kink ⚠

A/N: I do not condone violence neither do I romanticize it, I just wanted to do a yandere concept like shown in anime, that being said, Enjoy 💖

P.S: I deleted this one before because tumblr was messing up with the tags and few people were able to read this one apparently... 

ᴄʀᴇᴅɪᴛ

ᴘᴇᴇᴋᴀʙᴏᴏ! ᴏᴘᴇɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴇʏᴇꜱ, ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ'ꜱ ʟᴏᴏᴋɪɴɢ ᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ...

[18th February, 2019]

 You couldn't tell, of course, but you constantly had a pair of eyes glued to the back of your head. A pair of hungry, lusting, shimmering eyes. You didn't know him, but he knew every detail and every inch of your body and personality.

 He knew your favourite songs, your favourite ice cream flavour, the type of clothes you preferred, and what kind of places you'd go to when you weren't having classes at your university.

  He'd first seen you when you arrived late to a class. The male remembered it like it had been just recently, and not almost months past. It was the very first day, and you were late. You came in the classroom, huffing and puffing from all the running, cheeks red from the embarrassment and messy hair.

  He remembered how he had his head buried in his arms, his grey hoodie and his black, long bangs covering his sleepy eyes, and how he immediately woke up and rose his head up to look at the owner of the beautiful voice that had just apologized for being late.

 Seonghwa thought you looked fucking adorable, and he swore to himself that he would be the one to make your face flush like that, to make you breathe heavily and to grip your hair so hard that it'd get tangled and messy just like that.

  But of course you didn't know him. He was proficient in watching, watching close enough to be able to watch you, to be able to understand everything you said, sometimes even close enough to smell your perfume, but still adequately far so you wouldn't notice his presence. The man was afraid that if caught him he wouldn’t be able to observe you anymore!

  He couldn't bring himself to talk to you... What would he say? He wasn't worthy of you... He liked to just watch you. But he had to admit, the way other men went up to you, the way they held your waist and tried to make you theirs, it made Seonghwa's jaw clench. It made his jaw clench and his blood boil. How dare they touch you like that!? You belonged to him, you just weren't aware of it.

  [24th March, 2019]

"Mr. Park, would you face the board instead of facing Miss Y/N during the whole class for once?"

 All heads turned to look at him, including yours. You looked at him with a small, curious smile, and your eyes met. His head detached from the hand supporting it, and his eyes widened. You thought the deep blush on his fair skin was adorable, and you giggled at his little nervous stutter.

 "I-I'm sorry, I'll f-focus now Sir..."

  Seonghwa lowered his head a little, so his bangs covered his face as much as possible.

  Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! That shouldn't happen! That couldn't happen! What now!? You had noticed him, certainly, you'd see him staring at your unbelievable beauty, since you now knew of his existence.

  As class went on, Seonghwa struggled not to stare at you, afraid you'd be looking at him and you'd make eye contact once more. His leg bounced nervously, and for the first time, he counted the seconds until he was out of the classroom he shared with you.

  As soon as the teacher declared class was over, Seonghwa jumped from his seat as if he were a spring and swung his backpack over his shoulder. He pulled down his hood, trying to cover as much of his face as possible, in hopes that you wouldn't want to discuss what had happened.

 "Hey!" Seonghwa heard your voice call.

 He knew it was your voice, because it was his favourite voice to hear.

 Seonghwa pretended he didn't know you were calling him and kept on walking, but as he knew, you didn't quit easily. You jogged up to him and grabbed his wrist.

  He turned around violently to look down at you. He couldn't believe you had just touched him, he couldn't believe how insanely small you felt and looked compared to him.

  "You're Seonghwa, right?"

 The way his name fell from your lips was unbelievably ethereal. Seonghwa loved the way you spoke his name, and he now knew he didn't want to stop hearing it.

  "Yes, and you're Y/N." Seonghwa replied, wide-eyed and awkward.

  He was shocked you knew of him, he was shocked you knew his name, and he honestly didn't expect this scenario to happen (not any time soon at least).

  He'd imagined many things, how you looked underneath him, how you looked only in your underwear, how your pretty face twisted in pleasure as he fucked you... But never the first hello.

  You giggled at his panicked expression and reddening cheeks.

 "I am... I wanted to ask, do you usually stare at girls during class or do you have something you want to tell me?" You asked, curious if he had some sort of crush or interest in you.

 "No, I usually don’t, but you're the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen."

  [6th June, 2019]

 You didn't know if it was the beer, or the tequila, or the joint in your hand, but you felt particularly brave as you laid on the grass with your friend, looking up at the starry sky. The weather was perfect. Not a cloud was visible and the only thing you could hear were the crickets in the distance.

  You placed the joint between your lips and took a hit, before passing it to the male beside you.

 "You know Hwa, I think I like you..."

 Seonghwa had changed. He had molded himself into the perfect man for you, in hopes you'd become his.

 His hoodies became leather jackets, his cartoon t-shirts became white v-necks, his joggers became tight jeans and his long fringe turned into a middle-parted undercut.

  All of these changes seemed to have worked in the end.

 You had never asked anything of him, but he knew what you wanted, so he changed, willingly. The only part of himself he hadn't changed was his dominant personality, the sense of ownership he felt over you, not only because he couldn't change that, but because he knew based on the past experiences you had told him that you liked a rough man.

  Seonghwa turned his head to look at you and smirked.

  He took one last hit of the joint before getting on top of you.

  One of his hands stood beside your head, holding him up while the other held your chin. You looked each other into your bloodshot eyes. His head moved down, until your noses were brushing against each other.

  "Finally."

[30th of June, 2019]

It didn't take long for you and Seonghwa to have your first time. You had a very sexual nature, and so did he. Seonghwa loved to tease you, he loved to squeeze your ass in public and whisper dirty nothings in your ear while you were with your friends.

 You couldn't wait for the day he fulfilled his filthy promises and fucked the life out of you.

  It happened randomly, when you stopped by his place one night, to drop some documents you were asked to deliver to him.

  He opened the door, not knowing who it was, and was caught off guard by seeing your pretty figure waiting for him.

  Seonghwa was wearing nothing but a pair of grey joggers that settled low on his hips, exposing his perfectly defined v-line.

  He had a small tattoo on his lower hip, a quote written in thick black letters, that read 'all or nothing'. You had always adored that piece of work, and you thought it matched him perfectly.

  As soon as you saw his figure, your words got caught in your throat, and you couldn't peel your eyes off of the male's exposed skin, and the way his muscles flexed every time he moved.

  Seonghwa leaned against the doorframe and hooked the hem of his sweater pants on his thumb. You followed his finger's movements religiously, as he teasingly pulled them down a little, to expose his naked hip, and almost giving you a glance of his cock. He had no underwear on. You didn't know what to do with that information, but you loved it.

  "Baby girl if you keep looking at me like that I might cum..." He whispered in your ear.

  You bit your lip and looked him in the eye. You placed your hands on his chest and pushed him inside your apartment lightly.

  "Might as well do it inside me, right?”

  Seonghwa hissed at your words and his hands cupped your ass, giving it a harsh squeeze.

  "You'll be the death of me, beautiful..." Seonghwa told you, before closing the door and pushing you against it.

  You didn't care about the papers anymore. You dropped them and laced your arms around your boyfriend's neck, waiting for him to close the faint gap between your lips.

  He teased you for a second, ghosting his lips over yours instead of kissing you, but when you rolled your hips against his, causing your crotch to come in contact with his semi-hard dick, he gave in. Deep down, you knew that it didn't matter how dominant he was, you had him around your finger.

  His rough yet passionate kisses were no stranger to you, and you loved the way his tongue felt against yours as he explored every corner of your mouth.

  Seonghwa gripped your ass tighter and pulled you closer. You kept your hips' movement, feeling your boyfriend's cock get harder by the second.

  He pulled away from the kiss and pushed you harder against the wall. You could feel all of his body's curves press against your own. One of Seonghwa's hand left your ass and his fingers gripped your throat.

   "I've been waiting for this for too long, I'm not holding back tonight, I'll destroy you." He said, through gritted teeth.

  You pushed him back slightly. He allowed you to do so, curious as to what you'd do next.

 Seonghwa watched as you began to strip. First, your t-shirt, and then your jeans, that you unbuttoned and pulled down painfully slow. Your clothes pooled around your feet and you looked at Seonghwa's lusty eyes.

 "I'm all yours." You told him.

 There was a second of silence, as Seonghwa didn't quite know what to do. He didn't know if he should take it easy, if he should just rip your garments off and take your right there or if he should punish you as hard as possible. It was your first time, however, and he decided he shouldn't be too harsh.

  Seonghwa slung you over his shoulder and slapped your ass.

  "You drive me crazy doll."

  You giggled as he threw you on the bed facing up.

  "I know."

  Your boyfriend chuckled at your cuteness and attached your lips once more. He played with your lower lip as he undid your bra and threw it somewhere in the room. Seonghwa cupped one of your breasts and played with your hard bud.

  "Is there any part of your body that isn't absolutely perfect?" He asked, before taking your other nipple in his mouth, sucking harshly and biting lightly from time to time.

  When you felt his other hand separate your folds, you whimpered. Your legs spread wider and you immediately gripped his dark hair. He played with your wet cunt like it was his personal sex toy.

  Seonghwa's fingers teased at your entrance for a second, before entering you. His pace was slow, purposely trying to tease you and make you beg. Your loud moans made him smirk.

  "So fucking needy for me... Tell me what you want?"

  You arched your back and bucked your hips, trying to get some more friction.

  "Fuck I want you to take those fingers out and fill me with your cock!" You moaned.

  You were desperate, you needed to feel him. You had been teased so many times, you'd imagined him fucking you so many times already, and now that he was there, half-naked fingering you, you couldn't take it anymore. You had to feel him.

 Seonghwa stripped from his pants and placed himself between your legs, spreading them a little wider in the process. He took no time to enter you. As soon as he found your entrance he thrust into you and started moving at a reasonable pace, so you could get used to the feeling.

  He fit inside you like he belonged there, like you two had been made for each other. You loved the way he filled you and he loved how tight you were around his cock.

  "Oh my God, you feel so good Hwa..."

  The praise falling from your pretty lips was Seonghwa's kryptonite, and like his little tattoo said, he had no mid-term. His slow thrusts became violent, fast, and shamelessly pleasurable from one second to the other.

  Your brain went to putty, and at that precise moment all there was in the world for you was your boyfriend's cock ramming into you.

  He slapped your ass harshly thrice, making sure his hand would be marked.

  "Who owns you, pretty baby? Tell me who owns this pussy." Seonghwa growled as he gripped your thighs.

   "Y-you..."

   He slapped the side of your thigh.

  "S-speak up doll."

  You moaned his name loudly at how good he was making you feel.

  "You own me Seonghwa! I'm yours!"

  His pace quickened, as if it was possible, and he took one of your nipples between his fingers.

   "That's right, you're my little cumslut."

   You looked at him through hooded eyes. His fringe was stuck to his forehead and he had such a lustful and ruthless expression on his face... You swore you could cum with that alone.

   "Hwa... I'm gonna cum..." You managed to squeal, between your exasperated breaths.

   "Do it, I wanna feel you around me, baby."

   His hand closed around your throat one last time, knowing how much you loved it. Immediately you reached your climax. You gripped onto his biceps and arched your back, as your vision went blank for a second, absolutely blinded by pleasure.

   Upon seeing how fucked out you looked, how absolutely beautiful you were when you came, how pretty your agape mouth was as it spewed dirty praises, he was thrown over the edge and came buried deep in you, filling you with his thick, warm cum.

   Seonghwa removed himself from you and plopped on the beg beside you. He threw his arm over your stomach and nibbled on your neck.

  You giggled at his neediness.

  "Are you not tired?" You asked, amused at his actions.

  Seonghwa caressed the spot that would later become a pretty shade of purple.

  "I am..."

  "Then what was that for?".

  Seonghwa looked at you for a second before replying.

  "So that everyone knows you have an owner."

[15th July, 2019]

  Seonghwa's tight grip on your wrist was not released until you entered his apartment. He slammed the door shut and turned to face you, his face as stern as ever.

    "Who the fuck was that guy!?" He asked, like a madman, staring at you like his eyeballs would pop out of his sockets at any time.

   The sight before you was incredulous, what had gotten into him!?

   "Seonghwa, he's my friend."

  "Oh yeah!? And do all of your friends want to fuck you!?"

   You furrowed your eyebrows, confused and quite clearly not understanding where all that commotion was coming from.

    "Seonghwa, we hugged. Wooyoung does not want to fuck me, we hugged and he said I looked good because we haven't seen each other in almost two years, stop overreacting! You sound insane!"

   Your boyfriend gripped your upper arm and pulled you closer. His stare burned on you, his eyes had lost their glisten and were now pitch dark, fuming with rage and jealousy.

   For the first, dreadful time, you were scared of him.

  "You think I'm insane!? Hm!? You think I'm insane 'cause I don't want my baby fucking around with other guys!?"

   "Hwa, I love you, and only you, okay? I'm not fucking Wooyoung I'm yours, alright?"

   Your voice became quieter as you spoke, hoping he would calm down, but his grip never loosened.

   "How do I know that!? How do I know you're not being a whore behind my back!? I had never heard of this Wooyoung guy and suddenly he's your 'friend'!? How many other 'friends' do you have!?"

   You couldn't belive the words that fell from his lips... Those lips that you loved so much, how could they insult you and accuse you in such a heartless way.

   You were visibly taken aback, and tears brimmed in the corners of your eyes.

   You pushed him away harshly, not caring about anything at that point.

  "What the fuck is wrong with you? How can you even say that! I'm friends with whoever I want to be friends with Seonghwa, you don't get to decide it!"

   You waved your arms around like crazy, trying to make sense of the situation, and the tears you tried to suppress fell down your cheeks.

  Seonghwa pressed you against the wall and grabbed your jaw.

 "You don't fucking get to do whatever you want cause you're mine! No one else can have you, you belong to me!" He yelled in your face.

 You were sure every neighbour of his had heard you two already.

  "I belonged to you! Past, Seonghwa! I've had enough of this bullshit, I don't want a controlling piece of shit boyfriend!"

  You shoved him away from you and made your way towards the door.

  "You can't leave me!" He yelled.

 Without looking at him you grabbed the door's gilded handle and turned it.

 "Watch me." You told him, voice as steady and as strong as ever.

 "Please, you can’t leave me."

  His shaky, insecure voice made you freeze in place. Your hand stopped turning, your eyes widened and you stopped being able to think for a second.

 His behaviour shift was like night and day...

 You turned around, to find Seonghwa standing limply, with a lifeless expression and tears in his eyes as he watched the love of his life leave.

 He was sobbing.

 Your brain was a mix of emotions, this man was completely different from the rough asshole that had confronted you not ten seconds ago. That day he showed you two sides of him you had no idea existed. Two parallels, that seemed almost impossible to be within the same person.

 Once San saw you standing there, giving him a small chance of redemption, he stood up, slowly as if he was afraid to chase you away, and stepped towards you.

 He cupped your face and examined the unreadable mix of sentiment running through you.

 "Baby I'm sorry, I love you so much I just don't want another guy to steal you away..." He told you softly, with his deep, angelic voice.

 You sniffed and wiped away a cheeky tear.

 "But Seonghwa, I've told you you're the only one for me..."

 Seonghwa hugged you softly, and you hugged back as he exhaled in relief.

"I know, but I want you for myself only... But its okay, it won't happen again, right?"

 You were a little unsure, but when his grip grew tighter out of his stress, desperation and fear of you leaving, you immediately replied.

 "It won't ever happen baby."

 Seonghwa hummed happily.

 Maybe it wasn't the best choice, but at least you knew, that as long as you were with him, you'd be safe. Safe from him.

 "You're all mine..."

[hollenka99]

Laying Foundations

Summary: The Blood God gets used to caring for a baby and small child who is getting livelier by the year. Chapter 1 of Blood and Feathers. <<Prologue

Warnings: Very brief emeto reference

It is a rather long journey to his Overworld forest cabin from wherever he'd ended up that caused him to be near Phillip's birthplace. The baby, ever so respectfully quiet until now, bawls as soon as the heat of the Nether seems to register. That or he finds portal travel disagreeable. The Blood God is not yet ready to unveil his latest plan. It is half formed and to be honest, he is completely winging it. He wasn't even sure whether he wished to raise his little project here, in his domain where things have always felt a bit... clearer, or in the Overworld, where Phillip is meant to belong, until the Netherdamned child threatened to blow his cover. All he could do to lessen the risk of being spotted is cover Phillip with his cloak and ignore the tiny talons poking at his skin. Besides, if worse came to worst, he could always glare a piglin down into silence. There are very few who are bold enough to trifle with a violence-centric deity, after all. But they do eventually make it. It then hits him that yes, of course, nothing here was left in a suitable condition for raising a child. There is clutter all over the table for one thing. There is also the remains of some meal he must have had prior to leaving the last time. Forgive him for not caring about trivial things such as cleaning up after himself when he's done that thousands of times over his centuries long life. Cleaning is a futile endeavour anyway. You achieve your result, only for it to rapidly be reversed. It will be worse now that he has subjected himself to a child, a form of life unable to comprehend its surroundings required respect, therefore antagonising their environment in their ignorance. That said, he did have three wolves who were capable of causing a mess all on their own. Perhaps, he ponders, he should have asked Celandine to reserve Phillip for a few days as he prepared the place for another being. It will be fine. Phillip is too young to care as it is. After some strife, the house becomes tidier. A pillow and its removed case are placed in a box for lack of better furniture. It will be as good of a bed as Phillip will get while the god fully adjusts his living arrangements. Caring for an infant is... more work than he had been expecting. And he had been anticipating to be kept busy by the kid regardless. During the first night, everything appears to be a problem. He's been fed, changed, paid attention to in general... all of it pointing to the fact Phillip should be content with sleeping. Then ah, the sword swings. Phillip must finally realise he is not going to see his family anymore. Oh well, not much he can do to remedy that. Also, he must say that for such a small stomach, it certainly seems to need filling often. Celandine checks to see how he is faring and offers advice. One such recommendation is to heat the liquid so that it is served warm. However, this occasionally proves to be a disaster as his sense of 'too hot' has been skewed by Nether standards. Phillip never fails to let him know if he's miscalculated. He knows it's irresponsible but a short trip without the baby through the Nether to collect Krev, Valka and Mort won't do much damage. They leap up at him but he hasn't got time to waste with pleasantries. The trio follow him diligently as they pass the statue of the four of them, narrowly avoid a slip into lava because how many lives must I live before you listen when I say be careful and they still remain at his heels when he steps into the portal. The wolves certainly love Phillip at first sight since they barely allow the god to leave the infant's designated room. Easy, he tells them, get your noses away because he's not a plaything and you won't even get to see him if you crowd round like this. The longer they have to get used to each other, the less agitated Phillip tends to be when not in need of care. It is during these calmer moments that they can be found, for example, reading a book 'together'. More to the point, he reads aloud while Phillip tries to grab pages, wriggles in the crook of his arm or the little boy simply stares up at him. Phillip has also become fond of gripping his caregiver's tusks whenever he is carried. It's an odd habit but it isn't painful or particularly uncomfortable so eh, who cares. Being 7 months old when they meet, Phillip is already on the verge of crawling. This is an issue. He gains the ability to be mobile by the time the Blood God is satisfied the cabin is satisfactory for a baby. This soon devolves into a keen eye frequently being kept aimed at the floor. The god wasn't a stranger to watching his step (a trio of wolves seemingly determined to become safety hazards at times will do that to you) but this was even worse. Do you know how miniscule Phillip is compared to him?! And this is the shortest the god can make himself. He is going to accidentally tread on the infant one day if he doesn't remain vigilant, he is sure of it. Winter proves to be a troublesome time. The cold seeps in through the windows whenever there isn't a lit fire to combat it. He despises the season and most years, he is either residing in the Nether anyway or he stays in his large desert home. Well actually, that place of his in the desert tends to be his usual shelter. It's just that humans (and, by extension, avians he supposes) are so fickle when it comes to temperature. They can never be too hot or too cold, for fear of their bodies' ridiculous way of attempting to maintain thermal homeostasis leading to their demises. Babies... are likely the worst culprits of this, along with the elderly. That was why he chose somewhere milder like this forest when it came to Phillip. Celandine has some thoughts on the matter, given that she is unhappy upon her next visit. "You do realise avians are migratory, don't you? It is, after all, partially how you ended up meeting and adopting him. The cold does not suit him." "It does not suit me either. If he is simply cold, I will keep him by the fire." "Keep him warm." She sternly instructs. Perhaps she is right though. He isn't too fond of the lowering temperatures and Phillip's fussiness seems to agree with him. He drafts up rough blueprints for a house, larger than this lowly, isolated cottage but also nothing requiring the time and resources on par with his massive desert villa. Hopefully, with the builders he plans to hire to construct it on his behalf, it will be ready for them this time next year. Which leaves the more pressing issue of what is he going to do for this winter? Well, he supposes there's only one thing for it. Phillip does not find the heat favourable. He spends his days complaining in his own infantile way or being very quiet when struggling with the temperature. Between the age of 9 to 12 months, his style is very much in the minimalist category. Another dilemma the god has is the fact he never exactly need a reason to keep cool here. Therefore, a water source is relatively far away and the coldest spot on the property is the room used to keep food fresh for longer. Phillip shouldn't really be around raw meat but for the sake of lowering the risk of him overheating, he does become familiar with the storage area. However, it's not as if he lives in there. He does get placed outside in the shade with a blanket underneath him every now and again. Babies will taste test any old thing they can get their hands on and there is no better example of this than the way a crawling infant takes fistfuls of the most abundant resource around him to sample. It's the god's duty to supervise in order to prevent sand from becoming unintentionally integrated into Phillip's diet. He notices birds lingering in unusual numbers in the early weeks of the new year. Low enough that perhaps he hasn't cared to notice the true extent of the local bird population before. High enough that he's sure there weren't this many before now. It's February too which makes it even more perplexing. Disappearing to warmer lands is one thing but surely they don't migrate to barren wastelands such as these. Then March 1st arrives and suddenly it all begins to make sense. Celandine could honestly have been less subtle. Any longer and it would have been an infestation. The goddess lands to the cacophony of birds cheering her arrival. Phillip's absent-minded babbling ceases as soon as his brain registers that she has taken him in her arms. She kneels, a baby in one arm while the other is held out as an invitation. She calls out, asking where the subject of her intentions was and summoning it to come to her. A bird with dark feathers makes itself known. It swoops in, perching on the offered limb. It's not a remarkable creature in any way. It has wings, it has eyes, it... presumably breathes. Regardless, it sets its eyes on Phillip from the moment it comes forward. Phillip himself observes the bird with curiosity, even reaching out to it. "Given that you have completed a year of life now, I thought a lifelong friend to keep you company throughout all the other years you're going to see would be a nice gift. She was born last spring, just like you, and she'll stay with you until it's time for you to go. So take good care of each other." The two are left on the ground opposite each other. The crow (apparently that's what the species was called) appears inquisitive. Phillip, on the other hand, crawls back towards him within a minute. "What's their name?" The god asks when Celandine soon shows signs of leaving. A chuckle. "She hasn't told me." It doesn't take too long after his birthday for the baby to learn how to stand with support. In fact, once he manages the feat once, he seems to become obsessed with it. Soft clicking can soon be heard near various pieces of furniture multiple times a day. It would seem the Blood God had just started to get the hang of dealing with a child at one stage of development when Phillip inevitably progressed onto the next. He learns to walk unassisted out on the grass around their house in June. He'd been warned this part of the infant's development would be slower than a human's but given he wasn't aware of how Overworlder children grew, it didn't bother him in the first place. The 1 year old avian struggles to maintain his balance in the beginning but as the weeks and months go on, the clack of talons on wood grows ever more common. Phillip catches him speaking with his ambassadors one day. The conversation isn't anything serious and honestly, should have been had in the Nether. However, wouldn't you know it, raising a kid requires you to be present in case they need you. So they're here, risking their wellbeing just so Phillip can be entertaining himself in the corner of his eye. The toddler specifically notices them bow prior to taking their leave. When the god turns to head back home, he spots a small figure crouch and punch the earth in an imitation of what he witnessed moments before. "Not the time or place." Phillip looks at him expectantly. He repeats the action. "Oh no, I'm not going to lower myself for you. It's called me being at the top of a hierarchy that you're at the bottom of. ...But you probably won't understand that concept for a while." A brief nod of the head is all Phillip receives. He pouts in response, makes a third attempt, but follows him inside all the same when he doesn't get what he wanted. Learning to speak is a slow process for the child, made even slower by the inconsistency of languages spoken at him. The only one who is monolingual is the bird Phillip got for his birthday. As time goes on and the boy starts to get used to forming words, he frequently points to the animal to say things such as "Am" or "Mimi". It's not until November or so that Phillip begins to refer to her as 'Amica'. It takes the god longer than it should have to realise that this is the crow's name and not, as he initially assumed, the Common translation of the Avian word for 'bird'. Amica it is then. The name becomes one of Phillip's favourite Common words to say. Also around this time, the savannah house gets completed, or at least the bare minimum of it is ready. Any extra rooms can be commissioned to be done in upcoming springs and summers if he so desires. The exterior is acacia with a cobblestone frame. It looks nice, as do the rooms inside. The basement that spans the entire area underneath the building will make for good storage space. Like the forest, there are plenty of trees and open spaces for Phillip to play in one day. With some rope and a plank of wood, he could craft a swing once Phillip is able to use one. He comes to realise that this child has no concrete language. Phillip will attempt to copy his grunts and snorts but nothing his vocal chords can produce is quite as deep or guttural as they need to be. The Blood God has been speaking in a mix of Piglin and Common, very occasionally reverting to Ancient Piglin. It depends on his mood but he has been attempting to raise him bilingual with a subconscious bias towards Piglin. Whenever Celandine visits, she will talk to him exclusively in Common for some reason instead of her own natural tongue. As for Amica, they converse only in Avian. However, the reasoning behind that is obvious. One way or another, he can tell Phillip is getting confused with all the words he has to know at only 2 years old. He will speak in Piglin, pause then make some kind of tweety noise while frowning. The funnier moments are when Phillip forgets himself and speaks Avian to him before realising his mistake when the god doesn't understand him. His tiny brain has to fit a great deal of information inside it but they will get there. Defeating a toddler in battle is very easy. His ward lacks co-ordination, focus and sometimes attempts to procure 'weaponry' that is far beyond his weight limit. The Blood God has been whacked with a stick more times than he would like. As annoying as having his legs be attacked with an inefficient blunt object can be, the kid's giggling whenever he reacts to it in any way does make it more tolerable. The wolves enjoy the results of his pitiful attempts at throwing though so all is not lost. However, all this physical play has a habit of messing up Phillip's wings if they're not careful. It had taken practice for the god to care for the wings to a decent standard. Now it was Phillip's turn to start learning, given that he was growing old enough to gain the dexterity for it. The majority of it is still the Blood God's responsibility because gods know that toddler does not pay self-grooming as much attention as he should yet but his involvement increases all the same. And when he molts over the summer, Phillip makes it clear he doesn't want his feathers disposed of. So the god supposes there's going to be a chest full of old feathers in it now. Who knows, it might be interesting for Phillip to peruse through one day. Each early January, the god has been begrudgingly allowing himself to be called away. Ever since Phillip came along, he's been slacking with this specific duty. He'll be presented with a selection of potential warriors for him to act as sponsor for but he never cares much for choosing the one he actually believes in, as he used to do. Being the Blood God's candidate in the fight used to be an advantage but he wouldn't be surprised if it's becoming a hinderance recently. How can you win if your sponsor doesn't help with your preparations throughout the year? The god would say he needed to sit out on being a sponsor if he could. It's simply not possible. It likewise is impossible for him to safely and discreetly keep Phillip in the Nether for weeks. When the actual tournaments come, he now skips them. He can get away with being absent, after all. It's not like he hasn't sat quarter- or semi-finals out before. The final though and the celebrations after? Yeah... not exactly something he can consider missing, especially given it's him who has to have the winner presented to him then host the party. To solve his problem, he speaks to Celandine. She apparently can't care for him in her own home (something about it not being suitable for mortals) but she can arrange for a couple to temporarily babysit Phillip while the finals are being fought. This time, he returns to house with a sleeping child in his hold. The toddler never says a huge amount regarding his time there. However, that's more likely due to his young age than a comment on his experience away from home. When he's three years old, the god decides Phillip is old enough to start working on fighting basics such as footing and learning environmental awareness. It's nothing strenuous or particularly physical but developing the foundation blocks now will serve them both well in the future. Use of any form of proper weaponry can be left for when Phillip is a little older. As the weeks roll by, the boy begins to really take to it. It requires conscious effort for him to maintain a proper stance when moving around but they can work on it. They both have years to get it right and improve efficiency. As a treat to reward him for his efforts so far, the Blood God plans to make a delicacy he's been wanting to introduce Phillip to for a while. He temporarily leaves him under the supervision of the wolves while he sleeps so that certain ingredients could be collected in the Nether. The fungus (both types, he's going all out) is sliced while he creates a broth with an infusion of wither petals. Mushrooms get thrown in too for an Overworld spin on it. An addition of torn petals completes the dish. When he serves it to Phillip, the boy recoils at the taste which causes him to end up eating wet mushrooms and fungus for dinner as a compromise. Not even an hour later, he is pale, less attentive than usual and holding a bowl due to being violently ill. He wants to dismiss it as food poisoning of some sort, maybe he didn't prepare it properly (he knows he didn't mess it up, not with how experienced he is with the dish) or perhaps Phillip is simply suffering from an undiscovered allergy. He reckons the best course of action is to send Amica to Celandine, she'd likely have a better idea than him. And oh, does she. "You gave him soup laced with wither rose petals? Are you trying to kill him?!" "Of course not." He growls back. "It's just that nobody seems to be writing down 'hey don't feed anything wither related to kids'." "Don't feed wither roses to anyone! How have you been around for millennia but still don't know only piglins have a tolerance to wither poison? Gods above, it is the commonest of common knowledge." Regaining his health is an arduous task for the small child. His body fights it as best as it can but its methods risk leading to severe dehydration. It is for this reason the god is eternally grateful their savannah home is close to a body of water. If he's not checking in on Phillip, he's boiling water or preparing safe food so he can urge the kid to eat. The fever keeps Phillip in bed for days. It's slow, it's messy, it's far from a great time for anyone. But they gradually see it through. Phillip just about manages to get to the other side, albeit feeling temporarily weaker. "He's lucky I gave him longevity as part of being one of my Chosen. /You're/ lucky." Celandine comments when the disaster finally begins to see its end. "Trust me, Blood God, one more miscalculation on your part that's in even the vaguest vicinity of this one and I will not hesitate to deliver him to the caregivers he should be with. The only reason I'm allowing this experiment of yours to continue is my own curiosity. However, I value him seeing 30 years more than how he gets to that age. This is your only warning." It is duly noted. The god thinks it wise to let Phillip mingle with other children. Who knows how he'd turn out if all he had for company throughout his formative years was a couple of gods, three immortal wolves and Amica or whatever other bird is willing to listen to his ramblings. The two of them are fairly secluded but there is a human town not too far from where the house is. With repeated visits, Phillip begins to make friends of the human variety. Most of the young children think Phillip is cool for having wings. They are also of the opinion that having a giant pig-looking man as a caregiver is impressive. One day on the walk home, the kid in his arm, Phillip looks up at him and opens his mouth. "What's a daddy? Coz- coz I was playing with a girl. Then the man was shouting. She said it was um... it was her 'daddy'. What's that?" "A father." "What's that?" "A male parent. So if you grew up and met a woman then had a baby together, you would be a father. Humans use dad and daddy colloquially." "What's-" "Slang." "Okay." Phillip ponders a moment. "Are you a daddy?" Nether damn you, kid. The god groans. "Yes... I suppose I am something like that to you." "Did you meet a woman?" "Well, Celandine is female and she let me take you home with me after I met her so... in a way." "Celly is a lady daddy." He nods. "That's typically called a mother." After Phillip questions whether the two deities have had a baby other than himself (no, definitely not together and the Blood God has never personally seen the point in siring any brood himself), he descends into further enquiries. It gets to the point the god makes an offhand comment about how he wasn't expecting to deal with a questionnaire today. Phillip responds by asking what a questionnaire is. With all that their conversation entails, it should honestly be counted as a miracle they never touch on the dreaded topic of conception. He does not, however, escape Phillip's gradual shift to a more informal way of addressing him. At least he's not calling him 'Sir' as if it's his actual given name anymore. Over the last few years of parenting, he has learned the quietest moments are the most suspicious ones. If Phillip is not chattering away to himself as he plays in the main room, he is likely running around outside with the wolves or engaging in conversation with Amica. That is to say, he is making noise one way or another. So when the god comes to the realisation he hears nothing on a day in early summer, it is safe to say he is concerned. He discovers Phillip standing on a low branch of a tree. "What are you trying to achieve with this?" The boy glances up. "Oh hi, Daddy. Celly said I was gonna fly. I gotta be 4 or 5 or 6. I'm 4 now so I'm gonna fly now." "I'm not sure it works like that. It's more to do with how large your wings are. They have to be able to support you in the air." "I'm 4." He holds up the appropriate quantity of fingers as if they will emphasise his point. "Celly said my wings are getting super big." That would not be how he would describe the size of those limited things. "They are growing but really, Phillip, you should be careful. I highly doubt you are ready yet." "Watch this." "Don't." He warns. "Get down from there." Phillip grins as if he's thought of the perfect scheme. "Okay!" He leaps from the branch, wings spread out. A second later, an 'oof' of a body hitting the ground is heard. The drop was too short to particularly do any damage (or, in fact, provide enough time for the wings to accept the wind). However, the young boy breaks into a fit of bawling as if he's hurt himself. He's seen stupider injuries over the centuries so a part of the god does not dismiss the possibility Phillip really has caused himself harm as a result of this stunt. Luckily for both of them, it's simply the typical 'small child acting like the most minor inconvenience is the end of the world'. It becomes a long summer of keeping an eye out for Phillip potentially attempting to repeat his actions. Practice may make perfect but the child will never take the skies if he breaks all his bones first. The kid begrudgingly adheres to the rule that he will not perform any flying-related activities without supervision. He often complains that he can't practise flying if he can't jump from a high enough spot to try. The god has none of it. Instead, he suggests the boy flap his wings to imitate flying while standing firm on ground as a better alternative. Phillip becomes a self-declared 'expert' at this soon enough. "Savannah, savannah, savannah." Phillip chants, hopping with his arms raised in an attempt to grab the god's hand. A bag is abandoned by his feet and he continues to pay it no heed in favour of badgering his father. He doesn't know why the child sees the need to jump for it. His current height now has him being not quite the length of one of his legs. Phillip is capable of taking his hand if he so desires by simply lifting it up all the way. "Yes, we are going to the savannah, hold on a minute." They both know the drill by now. In the final week of October, they travel to the house in the midst of the savannah. They return to their forest home as March sees its close. Each time, Phillip must cover up to obscure himself from view as he is carried through the Nether. The Blood God himself has a cloak of his own to further shield the child. This is arguably the first year Phillip is able to walk beside him since he can now reach the god's hand but for the sake of making things easier for everyone, the boy will be held during the trip. Most piglins have no reason to bother him. Even those tasked with helping him manage things from the ground on his behalf seem to have developed an unspoken rule to let him pass undisturbed if the path he takes leads him away from his manor. The moment Phillip is allowed on his feet upon their arrival this year, he sprints to the door. During one afternoon in February, he notices Phillip busy with the swing outside. He doesn't entirely understand the entertainment value in winding it up then spinning but if it amuses the kid then whatever. Amica seems to be keeping him company so that served the god well. He thinks this would be a good time to start carving this acacia wood he has lying around into a blade and handle. Because what 5 year old boy wouldn't want a sword for his birthday? And what god of war and blood wouldn't eagerly anticipate the day he can begin training his protégé properly?

[emsylcatac]

Oh man, really appreciating the extra French cultural insight on ML, so thank you for all of your elucidating! Have you made any posts covering common school events/milestones, and/or how teens tend to celebrate holidays in Paris? I know exams are different and that proms aren't really a thing, and the show has given us some insight into field trips (not too different), but do you know of anything else fandom tends to miss?

Heya!! :D

Thanks for your feedback & you’re very welcome!!

I haven’t done any post regarding school events or holidays yet, so let’s do that now!

School events/milestones:

First just a quick explanation of the French scholar system:

Maternelle (= Kindergarten): 3 years, from 3-4yo to 5-6yo – Petite section · Moyenne section · Grande section

Primaire (= Primary school): 5 years, from 6-7yo to 10-11yo – CP · CE1 · CE2 · CM1 · CM2

Collège (= Secondary school | Junior high school): 4 years, from 11-12yo to 14-15yo – 6ème (said sixième) · 5ème (cinquième) · 4ème (quatrième) · 3ème (troisième) – school start around 8:30am and ends around 4:30pm, with 1h lunch-break and 15min break in the morning & afternoon. – except on Wednesday ends around 11:30 or 12:30.

Lycée (= High school): 3 years, from 15-16yo to 17-18yo – 2nd (said seconde) · 1ère (première) · Tale (terminale) – Same about breaks & lunch breaks & start of school, but usually ends around 5:30pm. – except on Wednesday ends around 11:30 or 12:30 (or if you’re unlucky like I was the school organises exams on Wednesday afternoon from 2 to 4h straight but most schools have free Wednesdays afternoon)

Currently, Marinette & Adrien are in their finale year of ‘collège’ so in ‘3ème’ (called ‘troisème’).

So about major end-of the year exams:

End of 3ème (around the end of June usually): ‘Brevet’ – it’s a national exam and every student in the whole France have the same examination questions. They have to revise courses they had during the whole year and can be pretty much interrogated on anything they’ve learned. One exam per subject. Writing exam subjects are: French, Mathematics (main ones), History/Geography, Sciences (with Physics/Chemistry and/or Earth&Life Sciences and/or Technology). Added to that, they have an oral exam. It’s about Art History or a project they’ve conducted throughout the year (alone or in groups, however they get an individual score) Side note: this one is pretty ‘easy’ to have and you really need to want to fail to actually fail. It also takes into account the general score you have during the year and allows you to have a few points in advance. For instance, I was a good student and my general score was high enough for me to have enough points to already have the ‘brevet’ before even taking up the exam. It’s usually the case if your general score is equal or above 16/20 I think)

End of Terminale (around mid-June): ‘Baccalauréat’ – it’s again a national exam but much more important. You can’t pursue your studies if you haven’t passed it and will need to repeat the Terminale year. Subjects vary depending the course students chose when they entered their “1ère” year (it’s kind of a lot to explain everything there especially because the system have completely changed this year and teachers & parents are complaining about it, so I’m going to quickly talk about the ‘old’ system where basically you chose between scientific course, economic & social course or arts course; there’s others but those were the main ones). Again, you need to revise everything you’ve learned throughout the year and can be interrogated on anything. There’s writing exams as well as oral exams and practical exams (for sciences).Side note: Contrary to the ‘brevet’ this one is harder to get. I’m not saying it’s super hard, but students with school difficulties can fail even if they worked for it. Only the score you get at this exam is taken into account, not the general score you got during the year so you can’t “have” your Baccalauréat before taking up the exam.

End of 1ère: some exams of the “Baccalauréat” occur in the 1ère year but not a lot as well as a group project.

Proms, holidays & others undercut to avoid long post:

Regarding school proms, we indeed don’t have them as much as people in Canada or the US. It mostly depends of your school: some will organise them at the end of 3ème or Terminale because it’s the end of a ‘cycle’ sort of, but they’re mostly just events with food brought by everyone and music. You rarely have to find a partner to go to a prom with you, except maybe if the school you’re in has decided on that. Some schools don’t organise any.

Other special event that can be organised in your school (and again it depends how strict the director is and all) is carnival. We all come with disguises for the day. My ‘lycée’ was pretty strict about it but we managed to allow it during my finale year and organise a concert during lunch-time. We had to be recognisable though so no full-mask or full-makeup. But the previous years it was forbidden. We didn’t have any carnivals during collège. It again also depends on your school’s policy.

________________

Holidays

We have 4 in-between holidays and one summer holidays:

“Vacances de la Toussaint” (vacances meaning holidays): 2 weeks around end of October & Beginning of November, including the 1st of November. Usually, people tend to stay at home or visit family members that are living far from their home. Some might travel a bit as well but it’s not often. So some teens will visit their friend, maybe celebrate Halloween but Halloween isn’t that big of a thing here and it’s disappearing more and more.

“Vacances de Noël” (= Christmas holidays): 2 weeks including Christmas day and New Year. Mostly spent in family, some might go skiing but it’s rare and there’s less chance to have enough snow for that in the mountains.

“Vacances de Février” (February holidays): 2 weeks in February, sometimes a bit in March; dates change every year because all of the French regions don’t have the same dates for these holidays so teenagers will be in holidays 1st, 2nd or 3rd depending the year & region. Lots of people who can afford it will go skiing in the mountains one week; it’s pretty expensive so not everyone do that but still a lot.

“Vacances de Pâques / vacances de printemps” (Easter holidays / Spring holidays): Again 2 weeks, with dates changing like in February. Mostly around April, sometimes end of March. People tend to stay home or go a bit in the South of France if they can afford it or have enough time where the weather is warmer, some will visit family members, etc.

“Grandes vacances” (= big holidays or as you would say, Summer holidays): Lasts 2 months in July & August. School ends either end of June or beginning of July depending the grade you’re in and the end of the year exams you have, and will start again at the beginning of September. Some teens would go on family holidays somewhere (mostly to the sea or the mountains or abroad), some in summer camps, some would stay at home, some all of those.

Anyway, in all those holidays teens can meet-up and hang-out with their friends, do sleepovers, etc.

________________

School trips

School trips always have a cultural & educational purpose and will depend on the subject they’re being made for. You can visit museums, special cultural or historical places, etc. Most of the time you leave for the day by bus.

In some cases you can do a 3 to 5 days (or more depending your school) trip to another European country like England or Spain or Germany, maybe Italy. Those are opportunities to learn more about the other country’s culture (I know that when we did those trips we stayed in hosting families) learn and speak a bit the language, and learn history of the country depending on the outings of the day.

________________

Anything else fandom tends to miss?

Ok so it could take a lot of time and everything isn’t coming to my mind but one of the main thing I tend to see in fics is “Americanisation” of the French school system if that makes sense. Which is logical because it’s kind of hard to understand how everything works in another country without living in it.

For instance lots of people in fics write things like “they share maths classes together but not French, so Adrien takes Marinette to her class before going to his” and not really: you stay the whole year with the same classmates and share all your courses with them. Only exceptions are if you took some particular options (like someone took Latin and the other took ancient Greek or nothing), or depending the 2nd language you chose to learn (German or Spanish usually but some schools offer more choices). Or if you’re in a practical course, then you class might be split in half but with Marinette & Adrien’s class, they’re already not numerous so I’d say the whole class would share them together.

There’s a lot of other things but they’re not coming to my mind right now or are too long to detail there (for instance what I said above about scientific/economic&social/arts courses), but I’ll make sure to share them if I think about it :)

Thanks for the ask, I hope I answered what you were looking for!! ♥

[sideshow-wolfie]

Coming Out...

I've been happy with these terms for so long, I feel like I need to express it to you... Even if it felt a bit painful...

I'm proud to announce that I'm Genderfluid. I've been having a Gender Dysphoria for a long time, since 2 months into my Sophomore (11th) year, and I finally found out who I truley was... Previously I was Demigirl, meaning I was full girl, but different. THAT didn't suit me anymore as I got to February... I just went off as genderless, Aka Nonbinary. Nonbinary suited me for a little bit, until that wasn't the case either as Spring Break started. I looked through the information, and I finally found out why my Gender Identity changed constantly... In the end of April I discovered I was Genderfluid... What does that mean?

My gender identity changes around infinitely, and it concludes that my gender was never meant to be confirmed.... I was previously a girl, but I'm fine with They/Them Pronouns. ❤️

Here's an example:

Day 1: Nonbinary

Day 2: Bigender

Day 3: Pangender

Day 4: Demigirl

Day 5: Transgender

and the gender list goes on and mixes around everyweek and day.

Lastly, for the gender part, I have been connected to wolves for so long.. both mentally and physically.. so long that I did not realize what I was until now. (I was like this all the way back in 2012, when I was in elementary)

I kept thinking I was something else. I constantly howled when I'm home alone, and that I wish I had someone to do it with me... And I bark, like other wolves or werewolves...

Not that I'm Genderfluid, but I am also WolfGender. WolfGender means that I connect with Lycanthrope/Wolf/Werewolf Life, and that I was a wolf in the first place...

I have been questioning to myself if I was always going to be with a boy, girl, whoever else, or remain single for the rest of my life when I was a girl...

In 2014, I had watched a show that eventually made me feel this... attraction to people.

You guessed it...

Inanimate Insanity

But so to let you know, it is NOT season 1. It is season 2.

The character that started to make me attracted to a gender was Microphone... Microphone was a hyped contestant, but eventually things got deep for her... I had loved this character for 6 1/2 years, and I kept constantly drawing her as a werewolf... Whenever I drew Mic, I felt happy. When I was 10 years old, I got a T-Shirt of her... My god I felt like life was complete ❤️

Throughout Middle School, I have had my first relationship with someone... Zero was my first crush that I had ever hung out. However, long story short, we broke up due to multiple toxic reasons (Involving me, and It was my fault...).

That took me a whole year to move on, and breakups aren't that easy to get over sometimes. I thought I couldn't be happy anymore, until I found Cory...

Cory was also a girl, like how I was... We both met on deviantart, and we would always hang out with each other. We both liked the same thing, and we like the same kinks (Aagh, I apologize for mentioning!!), But they weren't NSFW, don't worry! Me and Them would always chat on Discord... But then I developed a crush on them... Cory felt suprised when I told them how I was starting to feel... It had been 2 years since I fell in love with someone, and I was happy that the feeling came back.

However, we didn't start a relationship just yet... and was called off early a week after I told them in March, due to the fact they were shy... I understood that feeling. What honestly almost lost my future was the prom. Originally, Cory DID have a prom date to celebrate their night, but he cheated on them for another female... When they told me that he cheated on them, I knew It was time for me to become who I was meant for...

I wanted to be a Lesbian for the rest of my life... And it was my time to have that chance again... I was NOT desperate, but I wanted to make our future into a perfect never-ending chapter... We got together in April 2020 (during the COVID-19 pandemic), and I am happy to announce that we are still a couple! Though there ARE a few changes...

Cory eventually became Genderqueer and Bisexual, because they fell in love with a person (which is now a girl), and... I kinda felt anxious, but hey, it's all settled... Cuz, love is love.

I became Genderfluid, but I mainly identified as a boy, and considered to myself as Gay (I still did NOT want to be reminded of my previous relationship with Zero nor the Guy that had used me for Sexual Assault).

Both of us had felt more... And I realize that Love can and will be infinite 💙❤️🖤♾

So Everyone, Yes I am gay, but I'm also Polyamorous! Unfortunately it IS illegal in the United States, so this is why I'm not telling my school or my family about this... They do accept me for being Gay, but not the Polyamorous part. Again, I'm not telling them I'm Poly, in order to keep myself from being attacked and teased.

To Finalize my Coming Out Blog, I am also feeling attracted to something else... Kinda like how I fell in love with Microphone, but was from another show.

The show was called The Simpsons.

The Simpsons is one of the oldest animated sitcoms, yet it is still the funniest hits I had ever watched from Fox. Without them, I wouldn't have typed this final part...

However, I was not attracted to Marge, Homer, Lisa or anybody... In fact I was in love with a phsycopath... It isn't Snake Jailbird, or Homer's Killer...

I'm In love with Sideshow Bob (Robert Terwilliger).

At that moment when I felt flattered whenever he spoke, or was shown in some scenes of the show (old and new seasons, EXCEPT FOR HIS OLDER APPEARENCE)... I had drawn him for the first time, but it was kinda crappy, because I never drew a Simpsons character in my life. When I was younger I drew Itchy and Scratchy... For a while I stopped... I had a crush on both Itchy and Scratchy... Now it's that Palm Tree Haired Cutie. ❤️

I suddenly got curious if it was possible to love an character like him as a babe... Google gave me and answer, and It found out what my puzzle was.. it's not Bisexual, which I kinda figured...

Apparently, I am Fictosexual. I am in love with animated characters, whether from an adult animated show, teen animated, and POSSIBLY all-family animated show... Which Technically for me, I would always lay my heart on Bob's.

In Conclusion, it's ok to love who you care about, and what you care about, and it is okay to be true to yourself. You can be who you are, and who you think will make you happier, even if it is animated X3

Happy Pride, everyone! YOU ARE ALL VALID!!

#LoveIsLove

[someguynamedstevewrites]

My Roommate is an Apparition: WHAT A HORRIBLE NIGHT TO HAVE A DAD - Part 1

Based on characters created by @reddpenn

————————————-

It was Saturday afternoon and Lily was dancing around in a baggy shirt, baggy sweatpants, socks, and jamming out to Michael Jackson’s Thriller; blasting it out from her computer’s speakers.  She had been vacuuming the floor, washing dishes, gathering trash, and doing other reasonable adult chores with a spring in her step.  Lily was feeling fantastic and even if someone told her that her car had been towed and had a $300 fine, she wouldn’t have cared and continue to dance.

She was, to put it bluntly: hyped.  

Something she had been looking forward to for a very long time was coming and Lily could not contain her glee.  On the wall, her calendar had a big red circle around March 7th: the upcoming Thursday.  In the pantry were a wide variety of snacks, munchies, treats, and goodies (some of them were leftover from the Pink Panther marathon a few weeks back, but were never opened, so they were still good).  Visions of possible ways to decorate the apartment to celebrate floated through her head as her heart beat with excitement.  To most others, this Thursday wasn’t anything particularly special, but In about six days...

...Castlevania Season Three was going to premiere on Netflix.

————————————-

As Lily danced while she worked, a pair of eyes were watching from the walls.  Lily knew they were there, but didn’t mind, since she knew those eyes belonged to her apparition roommate.  Their name was “Tulpa” (since that’s what they said it was when Lily asked) and recently, Lily had begun addressing them by name as opposed to simply “Roommate” or “Roomie”.

“Hey Tulpa!” Lily called out to the pair of eyeballs embedded into the wall, “Hope you don’t mind the music!”

Materializing from the wall, the nose-less, ear-less, long haired, spiky-toothed being moved closer and stared at their roommate doing the “Boogie of Unreachable Back Itch” with a puzzled look on their face.  The apparition couldn’t remember the last time they ever saw Lily look this happy.  Usually, she wasn’t nearly this energetic on her days off when doing chores, so something good must have happened.

“Why... are you... dancing?” Tulpa asked quietly in their trademark raspy voice.  Unfortunately, they were too quiet since Lily didn’t hear a word they said over the music coming from the computer.

“Lily...”  her roommate called out slightly louder, “Why... are you... dancing!?”

Once again, Lily couldn’t hear a thing and her ghostly roommate was starting to get annoyed.  They needed to do something to get her attention, and in a way that didn’t disturb the neighbors, frighten Lily, or result in something breaking.  (The two of them had a very long chat about it after “The Pink-ening” back in February.)  Eyeing Lily’s computer, Tulpa got an idea and hovered over to it.

One quick YouTube search was all it took to change the music to something Tulpa was more... familiar with.

“IN THE HEART OF TRANSYLVANIA!

IN THE VAMPIRE HALL OF FAME, YEAH!

THERE’S NOT A VAMPIRE ZANIER THAN

DUCKULAAAAAAA!!!”

*click*

————————————-

Lily stopped the music and looked at Tulpa with a half-smile on her face.  “You rang?” she said jokingly.

“Why... are you... dancing?” asked Tulpa.

Lily chuckled to herself, “I’m glad you asked!” she said joyfully, “One of my favorite shows has a new season premiering this Thursday!  Castlevania!”

“Castle... vania?” Tulpa asked inquisitively.  Despite being an apparition with no physical organs or body parts, they did have a memory, and something about that name seemed familiar.  Almost reflexively, Tulpa said, “Simon... Belmont?”

Lily raised an eyebrow and looked at her surprisingly knowledgeable roommate.  “You know about Simon Belmont!?”

“Mega... Man...” Tulpa continued, “Kid... Icarus...”

Lily was going to ask what Tulpa was talking about when her phone began to ring.  Walking over, she picked up her smartphone and answered knowing exactly who it was on the other end.  From the phone came a baritone voice that could best be described as “Overly Hammy”.

“YOOOOUUUUU HAVE MET WITH A TERRIBLE FAAAATE!  A GREAT CUUUUUUURSE HAS BEEN PUT UPON YOOOOOUUUUU!  OOOOOooooooooooo!”

“Hi Dad,” Lily answered with a smile.

“Hey sweetie!” came a cheerful voice over the phone, “Looking forward to this Thursday!?”

“You bet I am!” beamed Lily, “Did you hear they cast Bill Nighy to play Saint Germain!?”

“I did!” her father beamed back.  

————————————-

As father and daughter chit-chatted on the phone, Tulpa looked over Lily’s shoulder with a slight look of envy.  They could see how happy Lily was on the phone talking with her family.  Tulpa, however, hadn’t used a phone in a very long time, and they were kind of amazed at how far phones had come.  Any phone that let someone watch cartoons on it was the best phone ever in their book.  Deep down, they wished they had one of their own.  The apparition gave a breathless, wistful sigh as it watched Lily talk, but then Lily’s face was suddenly no longer smiling.

————————————-

“What do you mean THIS weekend?” she asked over the phone.

“Well I did say I was coming over the first weekend of March, didn’t I?”

“Yeah!  March 7th and 8th, right!?” Lily asked starting to feel a little panicked now.

“Noooo...” her Dad trailed off, “I was talking about this weekend.”

“Dad!  This is not the first weekend of March!  It’s the last weekend of February!” Lily said with exasperation,

“Tomorrow’s March 1st, and a Sunday, right?” her Dad pleaded his case.

“Yeah!  But the first weekend of any month usually means the first FULL weekend of any month!  It doesn’t count if it’s half-and-half!” Lily stated as a sinking feeling began to form in her gut.

She could hear her Dad shrug over the phone, “Oh well, my mistake then.”

“YEAH!” said Lily, “I don’t even have the place cleaned up yet.  I’m not ready to have company over!”  Her roommate noticed that Lily was looking at them when they said that.

“Honey, you know I don’t care if the place is cleaned up or not,” her father said.

“I DO!” Lily almost shouted. 

Despite her protesting, the apartment was actually looking good that Saturday.  The vacuuming was finished, dishes were being washed in the dishwasher, trash had been taken out, the display cases for her rock collection had been dusted off, and the apartment was, for all intents and purposes, presentable.  The real problem was that Lily hadn’t gone over her Dad’s visit with Tulpa yet to  make sure they understood how to behave themselves.

“Look,” Lily began to beg, “Could you just stop by and visit next weekend?  It’d work a lot better for me.”

“Yyyyyyeeeaaahhhh...” her Dad said while trailing off, “...about that...”  As soon as he finished saying the word “about”, Lily began to feel a little nauseous as she whipped around to look at the front door.  Beads of sweat were starting to form on her forehead as the dreaded noise she feared most came from her front door.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

————————————-

Lily practically dropped the phone as her pupils shrank and panic began to set in.  She turned to her roommate, and tried to grab their hand.  Unfortunately, given Tulpa’s natural state of transparency, Lily’s hand went right through theirs.  Realizing that wasn’t going to work, Lily began to frantically move her arms and make gestures to get Tulpa to hide.

Tulpa, meanwhile, wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, but picked up on Lily’s gestures and went into one of the bedrooms.  Lily then closed the door and walked quickly over to the front door.  She opened it up, and just as she suspected, there was her Dad standing right outside with his phone up to his ear.

“Hey, Hey, Hey!” he said with a smile, “Guess who’s here!”

Lily had to use every muscle she had to contort her face into a forced smile, “D-D-Dad!  Hi!”  There was no mistake that it was him.  There were very few people who would consider a T-shirt that had an 8-bit pixel sprite with the caption “Uncle Vlad’s Wall Chicken” on it as “casual going out” clothes.  It was a Christmas gift she had gotten him a few months earlier, and while she was glad to know it fit him okay, seeing him out and about in it was somehow incredibly embarrassing.

“May I come in?” he asked politely.

“Uhhhhh...”  Lily stammered, “C-Could you give me a second.  I just, ummm...” she trailed off while trying to think of an excuse, “...need to pick up some laundry off the floor.  Yeah.  Don’t want you stepping on any... underwear or socks or anything!”  Lily’s laundry had already been cleaned, folded, and put away, including the towels in the linen closet, but her Dad didn’t know that, and she was banking on it.

“Sure!” her Dad agreed, “I did kind of drop in unannounced.”

“THANKS DAD!” Lily again almost hollered as she had to hold herself back from slamming the door when she closed it.  She immediately ran to the room where Tulpa was and looked her square in the eyes.  “Okay,” she began, “I know this is sudden, but my DAD is here!  I’m going to need you to be on your BEST behavior while he’s here, okay?”

Tulpa blinked and looked at Lily with their usual vacant expression on their face.  “...why?”  

“BECAUSE... Because...” Lily trailed off as she tried to think of a good reason.  Tulpa couldn’t be seen by anyone other than her, and she wasn’t entirely sure if other people could hear Tulpa either.  But her ethereal roommate was somehow able to make the entire apartment pink last month all the way down to the toilet paper, and could hold and carry things in their ghost-like hands.  “...I don’t want to scare him off!” was the best excuse Lily could think of off the top of her head.

Tulpa nodded, “...okay...” she said.  Lily detected a hint of them sounding disappointed, but she’d find a way to make it up to them later.

“I’ll make it up to you later!”

[See? Told yah!]

Tulpa wasn’t entirely sure why Lily was acting so strange all of a sudden.  She was acting as though her Dad would be able to see them even though they both knew that wasn’t possible.  Despite this, Lily still seemed uncomfortable with the whole situation, and not wanting to trouble their friend, Tulpa nodded.

Lily followed up with a quick, “Thank you!” before turning around to dash to the front door.

————————————-

Opening the door again, Lily gestured to her father to come on in, “Make yourself at home!” she said like she knew full well just how cliche it was to say.

“Don’t mind if I do,” her Dad said with a smile as he walked in.  It was then that Lily noticed the backpack he had on.  She recognized it as the “Electronics” backpack her Dad carried whenever he was taking a laptop or any other electronic device with him to places.  He headed straight to the living room, took his backpack off and began fishing around inside of it.

Lily gulped, “Did you bring-?” she began to ask before her Dad pulled out a family treasure from inside the backpack.

“Indeed I did!” he said proudly as he cut her off.  In his hands was one of his most prized possessions:

A Nintendo Entertainment System.

It was the same NES that he got back when he was fourteen years old in 1986.  He had been a video game fan ever since the early days of Atari and took meticulous care of his game systems to make sure they lasted and functioned for decades to come.  Even in his middle-ages at forty-eight years old, he still had the same passion for video games as he did when he was a kid.

Only one question was on Lily’s mind which she had no trouble verbalizing: “Why?!”  

Her Dad grinned a smug grin as he reached into the backpack and pulled out a small, black, plastic sleeve that contained an NES cartridge in it.  It wasn’t just any NES cartridge either; it was Castlevania III: Dracula’s Curse.

Seeing that cartridge gave Lily mixed feelings.  She could remember the times growing up with her father when he would insist that she sit down and play video games with him.  But it often wasn’t so much to play them as it was to lecture her about them.  He would regularly go on and on about the history of video games, how significant they were to modern society and culture, nifty bits of trivia, and for Lily, NOTHING took away the fun from video games more so than trying to make them an educational experience.  In the back of her head, she knew they weren’t all like that; she still had many good memories playing games with her father (and playing the same games her father was lecturing about whenever he WASN’T lecturing), but the look in his eyes told her that this was going to be another one of his signature talks.

“Dad,” Lily pleaded, “No.  No, please!  Can’t we just, I dunno, watch Castlevania on Netflix?  Maybe check out the Japanese dub or something?”  She knew exactly what was about to happen.  He was going to connect the NES to her TV, put Castlevania III in, and then play it while talking about how the game eventually became the show she adored with voice acting by Richard Armitage and Graham McTavish.  All this to “prepare” for the season premiere in a few days.

Unfortunately for Lily, her father shook his head and said, “Now I didn’t spend my high school years breaking down blocks for wall meat and whipping away Medusa Heads for nothing.  C’mon!  Don’t you want to see your old man defeat Dracula?”

The answer to that was an emphatic “NO!” from Lily, but she wasn’t about to hurt her Dad’s feelings.  While it wasn’t how she planned to spend her Saturday, she figured that as soon as he got it out of his system, the sooner he could head back home.  Plus, talkative as he was, he was still rather decent at playing difficult video games even at forty-eight years old.  As long as everything went well, he ought to be able to finish the game in about an hour; two hours tops.

————————————-

Meanwhile, a pair of eyes was watching from the bedroom door (as in, within the bedroom door) as Lily’s Dad effortlessly hooked up the NES to the TV.  Tulpa began to remember some of the people that used to live here also had video game systems like the one Lily’s Dad was hooking up.   They were pretty interesting, and Tulpa was somewhat curious about them even if they weren’t cartoons.  Eager to see more of what was going on, they poked their head out more and more from the door.

Lily sighed as her Dad continued to fiddle with the cables behind the TV, and turned around in time to see Tulpa who was now poking their head out in full view.  Before Lily could say or do anything...

“AAUUGGHH!!”

Lily spun back around and looked at her father who looked like he had seen a ghost...

...but he was actually looking at the jumbled mess of pixels on the TV screen.  “Aww man,” he groaned, “I thought I cleaned this already!”  Turning to his daughter, he asked, “Hey can you reach into my backpack and grab the Q-Tips and alcohol?”

Sure enough, there was a bottle of Isopropyl alcohol and Q-Tips in the backpack, and Lily deftly fished them out and gave them to her man-child of a father.  Or was the correct term “Child-Man”?  Lily wasn’t quite sure but pushed that thought to the side as she said to him, “Hey, I’m gonna use the bathroom real quick!  B.R.B.!”

“Okie dokie,” her Dad said as he happily cleaned the game cartridge pins.  He always found something so cathartic about cleaning cartridges and getting them to work.  It was almost zen-like.

Of course, Lily did not go to the bathroom.   Instead, she walked right over to Tulpa’s levitating elongated neck and head, opened the door they were peeking out from (which pulled their head out of the door), and marched in with a mixture of disapproval, frustration, and worry on their face.  “What are you DOING!?” she demanded with her teeth clenched and her voice lowered.

“Want to... see,” Tulpa said bashfully.  Lily noticed that they weren’t looking her in the eyes.

“It’s just my DAD and his games!” pleaded Lily.

“I’d like... to meet... him,” said the curious ghost.

Lily turned to look at the door, then back to Tulpa, and raised her thumb like a hitchhiker to point to the door behind her.  “Him!?” Lily said incredulously, “What for!? He can’t even see or hear you anyway!”

It was true that Tulpa could not be seen by anyone other than Lily, and Tulpa knew that all too well.  Not a single living soul was able to see or truly hear them any time before now.  Lily was the exception and neither of them had any idea why.  But, the apparition thought to itself, the person out in the living room was Lily’s father.  What if...

“AH HA!” Lily practically jumped from her father’s victorious cheer, “I GOT IT!” he crowed from the living room.   Lily did a small face palm as the shout gave her flashbacks to when she was eight-years old and her Dad would practically scream at the top of his lungs every time he died playing Ninja Gaiden after Lily had gone to sleep.  Few things were more terrifying than being woken up out of a deep dream by the shrill shrieks of your own father.

Lily turned to Tulpa and made a shushing gesture, “If you’re gonna watch, just... make sure not to touch anything so he won’t know someone’s there, okay!?”

Tulpa nodded, somewhat solemnly, as Lily stepped out to join her Dad in the living room.  Inside the room Tulpa was in, there was a large mirror attached to a vanity table.  The inquisitive incorporeal individual looked at its reflection in the mirror.  They could see their matted hair and large googly eyes, as well as lack of facial features, and for the first time in its existence, began to think about its appearance.

No one before could see them, so what they looked like never really mattered.  Lily was the first person who could see Tulpa, and she accepted them for just the way they were.  That was something they really liked about Lily.  At the same time though, they never thought about how they wanted others to see them if they could see them.

Tulpa thought about how Lily included them in the things she did, and how much they enjoyed spending time with Lily.  Even if they weren’t watching cartoons, the time they shared was always fun and enjoyable.  They wanted to get to know Lily better, and what better way than by getting to meet her Dad?  Wouldn’t it be better if they were all together?

Sure he probably wouldn’t be able to see them, but...

...maybe he could?

And if he could, what would he think of them?

What would Tulpa want them to think of them?

Continuing to stare at themselves in the mirror, Tulpa made a decision.   It was going to take all of their concentration, but “nothing ventured, nothing gained.”  It began by taking a very, very, very deep breath.  They sucked in as much air as they could, practically inflating themselves like a balloon.

Once they had inhaled as much as they could, they held their mouth shut and tried to squeeze the air out using whatever specters had for muscles.   The human equivalent would have been if someone were to hold their breath, pinch their nose, and try to get their ears to pop.   A small popping noise could be heard in the room, as Tulpa succeeded in popping out some ears.

————————————-

Back in the living room, Lily was resting her arm on the armrest of the couch, with face resting in the palm of her hand, and looking extremely bored.  Her Dad was already sitting on the opposite end of the couch, navigating Trevor Belmont through Stage 1 after showing off how the game’s prologue fit the Netflix show’s narrative.  Lily was, naturally, not paying attention to any of it as her mind was somewhere else completely.

“What am I doing?” she thought to herself, “Why does it matter if Tulpa’s out here or not?   I mean, it’s not like Dad can see them or anything.”  As she thought to herself, deep down she came to realize what her problem was.  It wasn’t about her Dad meeting Tulpa, it was about Tulpa meeting her Dad!

Despite him being good natured and an affable person, he was still her Dad, and Dads by definition tended to be embarrassing as Hell!  He had actually researched Dad jokes and has kept an arsenal of them up his sleeves ever since Lily could remember.  He rarely ever acted like an average 48-year old man in public, and some times, Lily would feel ashamed that between the two of them, she would be considered the adult.

(During the Christmas season, he saw all the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 1-Up Arcade Cabinets on display in Wal-Mart and would always turn them on and set the volume to maximum!  According to him, he was trying to recreate the “arcade atmosphere” of his youth.)

But despite the occasional embarrassment, he was still her Dad, and she wouldn’t trade him for any other Dad in the world.  He was always open minded, and whenever he didn’t understand something, he made an effort to try and understand.  Like that time he asked her to show him her rock collection and tell him about all the different kinds she had and what made them so unique.  He was always a cool Dad like that.

He raised her the best that he could and helped her with her homework.  He drove her to places she wanted to go when she was little, and took her to theme parks, the zoo, science centers, museums... he was always actively involved in her upbringing and that meant a lot to Lily.

The sound of a door opening and closing could be heard from the hallway.

“I’m overreacting, aren’t I?” she thought to herself.   “I should have just asked Tulpa to sit down and watch him play. I mean, misery loves company, right?   And plus he-“

It was at that moment that Lily’s eyes began to widen as she realized she had just heard the sound of a door opening and closing come from the hallway.  Her Dad turned around at the noise and Lily whipped herself around at breakneck speed.  She nearly choked on her own spit at what she saw.

It was Tulpa. 

 It was definitely Tulpa...

...But they looked human!

They had a nose, two ears, and opaque, pale skin.  Their hair still looked matted and unwashed, their eyes were still large, and their teeth still looked sharp even though they were a bit more rounded.  They were wearing a turtleneck blouse and a long skirt that went all the way down to their ankles.  On their feet were white socks which were probably there since Tulpa hadn’t really gotten the hang of manifesting realistic feet yet.  And they were definitely female (or going for the feminine look).

They looked kind of like that one really tall girl from that really popular anime everyone kept talking about, “Hands Off My Aerosol Can” or something like that.

There was a brief moment of silence in the room that felt like it stretched on for an eternity (even though it only lasted a fraction of a second).  Lily’s Dad was looking right at them, or at least, in their direction.   Lily could tell Tulpa had “dressed up” to meet her father, but doubted it would have mattered since there was no way he could-

“Hi there! You must be Lily’s roommate!” greeted Lily’s Dad.

...To Be Continued...

[killjoyhistoryarchive]

“Conventional Weapons” and the Rocky Road to “Danger Days”

In 2009, My Chemical Romance was buzzing with activity. The band performed several shows and festivals (including Summer Sonic in Japan), Gerard and Mikey Way attended San Diego Comic Con, and The Umbrella Academy was named one of Amazon’s top comics of 2009. Ray Toro held a Whopper eating contest on the official MCR website (no joke), while a certain comic series written by Gerard Way and Shaun Simon was announced in August. And at a show at the Roxy in Los Angeles, MCR performed three new songs from their upcoming album.

But while their next album seemed easily slated for an early 2010 release, MCR was about to hit a series of hurdles that would leave them with a scrapped album, a lost drummer, and a totally new outlook on where their music was headed.

On July 31st, 2009, MCR performed a set at the Roxy that included three new songs–“Kiss The Ring,” “The Drugs,” and “Death Before Disco.” Gerard was enthusiastic about the new tracks, even telling Rolling Stone that “Death Before Disco” was “the greatest song we’ve ever written.” Videos of the tracks soon appeared online, where fans eagerly devoured what they thought would be the follow-up to 2006’s The Black Parade.

As the days and weeks went on, the media blitz kicked into high-gear. While Ray Toro posted short studio clips on MCR’s website, the band gave several interviews where they gushed about producer Brendan O'Brien, discussed their new stripped-down style, and claimed that this would be their best record yet. In an interview with MTV, Gerard described the still-untitled album as a “true love letter to rock and roll,” adding:

“There’s something about being an American rock-and-roll band that we’ve kind of grown into and we’re very proud of. And I think that’s what we’re celebrating with this record. There’s no agenda, there’s no mission; it’s just about rock and roll.”

Meanwhile, Gerard Way and close friend Shaun Simon had another surprise in store: a comic series called "Killjoys.” Dark Horse Comics announced the release at San Diego Comic Con. Jeremy Atkins, the Dark Horse Director of Public Relations, described “Killjoys” as “a psychedelic rock-and-roll road trip adventure geared toward both fans of The Umbrella Academy and My Chemical Romance.” But not much else was said about the comic, as MCR’s upcoming album had become Gerard’s top priority.

As the album drew closer to completion, MCR gave fans more glimpses of what lay in store. They shared the titles of various tracks, including “Still Alive,” “Trans Am,” “Hail To The King,” “Save Yourself, I’ll Hold Them Back," “L.A. Heavy,” "The Only Hope For Me Is You,” and “Black Dragon Fighting Society.” They cited a variety of influences, including Queen, Judas Priest, Bruce Springsteen, The Killers, and Blade Runner. By all accounts, this was going to be MCR’s defining album.

In December, MCR previewed seven tracks for SPIN magazine. A month later, in January of 2010, the album–which was still untitled–was rumored to be released on March 30th. As they continued to rework the songs, they realized that the stripped-down sound wasn’t working. As NME reported in January:

Things turned around with a song called “Trans Am,” now renamed "Bullet Proof Heart,” the likely first single. And perversely, they did it by returning to fiction. Broadly, it’s about a boy in New Jersey, dressed in a Judas Priest T-shirt, called Johnny. And a girl called Jenny who might be his girlfriend, but who also (honk the pop fact sirens!) might also be the missing girl from “Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers.

But in the same interview, Gerard restated that the album would give "the purest, best version of the band you could ever hope for.” And in early February, MCR finally started to wrap up production, telling Big Cheese that the album would probably be released in spring or summer.

“Killjoys” also looked promising–back in January, Scott Allie had reported in a blog post that Shaun Simon and Becky Cloonan were ready to get started. Once Gerard wrapped up the album and finished working on the Umbrella Academy movie screenplay, it seemed like he’d be ready to dive in.

But February was also when the band publicly stumbled for the first time.

Before the Big Cheese interview, MCR had abruptly cancelled their appearance at the Soundwave festival in Australia. In a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank claimed that Gerard was having voice problems (he jokingly implied that it was due to coffee and cigarettes) and required treatment to make a full recovery.

Fans were disappointed, but most understood that it couldn’t be helped. But a month later, the fandom received another shock: MCR’s drummer Bob Bryar had departed the band. In another blog post, Frank told fans:

As of 4 weeks ago, My Chemical Romance and Bob Bryar parted ways. This was a painful decision for all of us to make and was not taken lightly. We wish him the best of luck in his future endeavors and expect you all to do the same. We also wanted to give you all a quick heads up on how the record is progressing. We have been writing some very powerful new songs so this week the four of us entered the studio once again, and what has been ending up on tape each night is some of the most exciting and honest work we have ever created.

The fandom was stunned. Clearly, MCR had been experiencing some behind-the-scenes turmoil, suggesting that the process wasn’t going as smoothly as fans had thought. While it wasn’t known at the time, they also parted ways with producer Brendan O'Brien, who had been hired specifically to channel their raw, back-to-basics sound. Where would MCR go from here? And when would fans hear the latest album–which was apparently undergoing rewrites once again?

It wasn’t until late 2010 that fans would finally learn what had happened to this unreleased album.

This moment, says frontman Gerard Way, looking back on what went wrong, “was the hardest part”. Guitarist Ray Toro was “home dealing with some family things”, leaving Way, his bassist brother Mikey, and guitarist Frank Iero alone in the mixing studio. “The sinking feeling was really starting to become loud that it wasn’t right - that the record wasn’t finished, I couldn’t even put them in a track order … "Thinking about it now, it’s kind of upsetting, because I just felt so lost,” Gerard says.

This was discussed in an interview with Herald Sun, where they talked about the process of starting again after the departure of their drummer and producer. Speaking to Music Radar, Ray Toro talked about the struggles the band had with original producer Brendan O'Brien, admitting that it hadn’t gone as well as they once thought:

“He was really trying; he did the best he could with us. He knew things weren’t clicking, and he’d try to rally us. I remember he said, ‘Hey, on some songs, I’d love to hear you do what you did on The Black Parade.’ Because there wasn’t any of the harmonized guitar parts or the stacking that I usually do. He was trying to get us to make one record, and we wanted to make something totally different.

Musically, we wanted to go back to our basement. But just because we wanted to do something different didn’t make it easy. In many ways, we felt as though we were holding ourselves back creatively. We were going through the motions. Some of the songs were good, but we weren’t happy with all of them.”

Needing a break, Gerard took a vacation to the desert that surrounded Los Angeles. There, as he told Terminal 5, he realized “I had started the band after 9/11 when I hated art. Black Parade had been about hiding and punishment. I couldn’t tell the truth so I’d talk about cancer instead. I had to put on a mask to show people who I really was. But now it was time to own it. To be who I was before this band started. And I had something in my back pocket: this song, ‘Na Na Na.’”

Reunited with producer Rob Cavallo, who had worked on The Black Parade, the band kicked things off with “Na Na Na.” Gerard and Shaun Simon’s comic “Killjoys,” once a separate side project that had nothing to do with the band, suddenly became the concept that they formed the album around. Fueled by fresh creative energy, the band wrote and re-wrote tracks, came up with concepts and characters like Dr. Death Defying, and shredded the limitations that had confined them. At one point, Gerard turned to his brother Mikey and said “Danger Days, here we come again!”

Not everything from the previous record was scrapped. “Trans Am” became “Bulletproof Heart”; “Death Before Disco” became “Party Poison.” A few new versions of old tracks appeared on the record, as well as the Mad Gear and Missile Kid EP that came later. But MCR’s fourth album had gone from a rock and roll record that deliberately avoided ambitious storylines, to a vividly realized concept album that invited fans into the world of post-apocalyptic California. In many ways, it was the opposite of what they had originally planned. And it seemed to be exactly what they had been looking for.

During this time, Frank snapped in-studio photos that he sold on MCR’s official website, offering one-of-a-kind peeks into the recording process. In March, Mikey Way stated in a blog post that “One day you will wake up, and nothing will ever be the same again, but it’ll feel like an old friend.” He was talking about upcoming changes to the MCR website, but in a way that statement reflected the band’s process at the time–they had completely reinvented themselves, and yet there was still a certain familiarity in the old tracks they had revamped.

The band completed the album with fresh energy, offering sporadic updates in the coming months. Fans waited with some skepticism to see what MCR had in store. And finally, one day in early September, MCR’s website disappeared and was replaced with a mysterious transmitter. The Danger Days era had begun.

But was the scrapped album hidden away, never to be heard again? Not quite.

In 2012, in a blog post on MCR’s website, Frank talked about the feelings of depression that he had faced after The Black Parade. He felt like MCR had done it all, leaving them with nothing left to accomplish. In November 2008, Gerard called him up to talk about the band. As new ideas took shape, they prepared to start recording the album that would eventually be scrapped after months of work.

Frank pointed out that while the band had limited themselves during the recording of this album, the songs weren’t inherently bad–in fact, some of them were among his favorites that the band had produced. As time passed, he developed a greater appreciation for the tracks. And when the band met up and listened to those songs, they decided to release a selection of tracks to the public–two tracks a month for the next five months, for a total of ten.

After all this time, the album finally had a title: Conventional Weapons. Tracks included “Kiss The Ring,” “The World Is Ugly,” “Surrender The Night,” and the fan-favorite “The Light Behind Your Eyes.” Listening to the tracks, it was clear that MCR had aimed for a rock album with a pure American sound–no ambitious concepts or storylines, just a set of killer tracks. Whether they succeeded is up to the listener to decide, but they provided some insight into what came before Danger Days.

Due to its unconventional release, and the fact that the album was a series of random tracks and not a finished product, Conventional Weapons is not considered an “official” MCR album. But while Danger Days was the final album, Conventional Weapons was the final release before MCR broke up in 2013. Since the split, the release of CW has caused many fans to wonder–will My Chemical Romance’s fifth (and unreleased) album ever be shared in a similar fashion? Or will it be locked away forever, like the other CW tracks that were never released?

Only time will tell. But for now, Conventional Weapons serves as an intriguing part of MCR’s history–a time when the band set out to make one type of album, and ended up making the complete opposite.

(Picture credits: 1 2 3. Other in-studio photos by Frank Iero.)

[Originally published 07.09.2017]

[muse-oleum]

The Flower Shop, part 3

Kingsman - Harry Hart x Fem!OC

Part 1; Part 2; Part 3; 

Hey folks! Here’s the third installment of my series. I hope you enjoy it! We’re getting into it, finally. Also, I’ve just added another prompt list that you can find here, go give me some inspiration!

Word count: 1.7k 

Warnings: none 

The camelias shivered in the evening wind. By their place on the windowsill, they overlooked the entire room, with its large bed, desk and the man sitting there. 

Harry’s books and notebooks had all been lost when his house was bombed to the ground, so he’d had to start again. Over the course of the past few weeks, he had purchased several anthologies and was still looking for new publications on the subject of entomology. 

He missed his old notebooks, relying entirely on the scribbled pages of the battered pad he’d used during his time away. 

Harry rarely referred to his time as an amnesiac entomologist as anything else except his “time away.” He was still grappling with the strange sensation of having recovered his life but he wasn’t so sure now, after so many months wishing for freedom to go find his butterflies, which life he wanted to lead. 

Kingsman had been his home for decades, ever since he’d left the army to become a secret agent. But before that? He’d been so invested in becoming an entomologist that it almost surrounded him in a shroud of wing dust for the rest of his career. His home was full of them; his head was full of them; and his heart was full of them. 

None of his friends had ever understood his passion for the small insects. To be honest, Harry himself did not understand it fully.

His father had been very fond of gardening, and his mother never allowed him to squash any insects he found in his room. Even if it was the biggest spider in the world - at least to the eyes of a little boy - she would just pick it up in a tissue and let it free outside. He had always supposed his interest came from them. But now, looking back on how he had cleaved to his ephemeral friends, he wondered if the root for his interest did not run deeper. 

Perhaps he was fascinated by their transience? The manner in which their sense of purpose carried them to their death? He envied that. The whole of the animal kingdom, except humans, seemed to have a purpose. Harry had lost his and didn’t know how to regain it. 

Sighing, he turned off the nightstand lamp, plunging the room into darkness. Before falling asleep, he remembered his promise to Rebecca to come fix her garden shed. A small smile tugged at the corners of his lips. At least, he had that to look forward to tomorrow. 

Monday ----, 9 a.m

The chime of the doorbell accompanied Harry’s entrance into the flower shop. At the end of a cold February month, the sight of so many blooms was a welcome start to his day. 

“You’re an early riser!” 

Rebecca stood at her cluttered counter, snipping twigs off small branches. Harry watched, strangely fascinated, as she arranged them in an elegant bouquet. She seemed to know just where to place them. 

“It’s for a wedding,” she said, matter of factly. “Apparently, the bride is fond of forest weddings and decided to go for a woodland theme.”

“A forest wedding in February? Good luck to them.”

Her singsong laugh echoed through the shop. 

“Yes, the groom seemed rather resigned, poor chap. Let me just finish with this one and then we can go look at the shed.” 

Harry followed, calling after her, “I didn’t bring any tools, I hope you’ve got something I can work with?”

Rebecca popped her head out of the shed. “Come and have a look for yourself. It’s in quite a state, but it still stands. My dad was strangely proud of that.” 

Harry fit his broad-shouldered frame inside the small shed as best he could without towering above her. Rebecca caught his eye as he attempted to squeeze himself in, chuckling slightly.

The shed was small, built out of wood that had begun rotting many years ago. Daylight filtered through cracks along the walls and dust shimmered in the air. In the corner, a box of tools, its bright red colour contrasting strangely with its surroundings, was waiting patiently for its next use. Rebecca had arranged a large pile of fresh wood and wooden panels next to it, probably to restore the cracked walls. 

“It’s dismal, I know, but the roof is still in a really good state so i’d hate it to collapse entirely.” 

Harry gently pushed against the walls. The wood cracked and moaned but it held. The problem was the rot, which had weakened the overall structure. 

“I’m afraid if you want it to stand for any number of years, we have to tear it down completely first. The wood is rotting. Best to rebuild entirely.” 

Rebecca nodded, biting her lips nervously. 

“I don’t want to ask you to do that, I thought it just needed a few repairs. But tearing it down and rebuilding it is a job for my brother; he loves to demolish things to rebuild them.” 

A small part of Harry’s heart - which he refused to acknowledge - rebelled at the idea. 

“Nonsense, I said I’d help and I will. We will just need a lot more wood than that.”

Wednesday, some weeks later ----, 6 pm

Dropping by Rebecca’s shop had become part of Harry’s routine. Nearly everyday after work, he’d go in, buy a few flowers and go. Every weekend, he’d drop by and work on the shed. He was grateful for the distraction it provided and, slowly, began to acknowledge that Rebecca had wormed her way into his heart. 

Harry Hart had never dared to think too much about love. The Kingsman code was explicit: no attachments, no weaknesses. Eggsy and, on occasion, Merlin, had expressed how incredibly stupid and bigoted the Gentleman Guide was but the former Arthur had been uncompromising. 

Kingsman was slowly adapting and changing, especially after Poppy’s missile catastrophe. A new Arthur had yet to be found but under the capable supervision of the older agents, amongst which Harry and Merlin, the newer recruits were coming into their own. Kingsman was still not operating at full capacity, what with the HQ and the London shop in ruins, but it was getting there. 

Exhausted, Harry shook out his umbrella outside the shop before coming in, tucking it neatly in a corner. It had been a long day: recruits to assess, Merlin to check on (he was adjusting to his wheelchair but threw a few dignified Scottish tantrums along the way) and paperwork to work through. 

The smell of freshly cut flowers greeted him and, immediately, he felt better. March had brought an early spring and the blooms were peeking shyly from under their green little sprouts. 

Harry heard a commotion in the back room and, nerves on alert, made his way slowly towards the garden. Carefully popping his head in, he saw Rebecca, on the ground, looking under the sofa and murmuring soft words of encouragement. Eventually, a small kitten emerged, sniffing her fingers curiously. He meowed a few times, noticing Harry by the door, and meowed even louder, asking for food. 

“I believe this little lad is hungry.” 

Rebecca gasped, nearly bumping her head on the sofa. 

“Harry! You scared the living daylights out of me!” 

He held his hands up, taking one step in, chuckling slightly. 

“My apologies. You looked terribly busy.” 

The shabby little cat, meanwhile, completely disinterested in the antics of those two humans, had made his way towards the kitchen, no doubt drawn to the smell of soup hanging in the air. One or two loud meows later, a large bowl full of ham and leftover meat had been placed for him by the table and he happily forgot all about everything else. 

“I found him in the street this afternoon. It was cold and he was shivering and crying, so I brought him in. He wasn’t a fan of being carried somewhere new and he hid under that couch for a solid hour before you came in.” 

“Well, he’s one lucky cat.” 

Rebecca laughed softly and shook her head, her long curls bouncing around her forehead. Harry resisted the urge to tuck one behind her ear. Tying an apron around her waist, she made her way towards the stove to check on the soup. 

Harry observed her, sleeves rolled up to reveal creamy skin, feet tapping lightly to no rhythm in particular, curls pinned up by a clip, out of the way. He felt his heart give a little tug and, unable to stop himself, took a few steps towards her. 

She didn’t seem to notice, absorbed in diagnosing what exactly was missing from the soup. The warm smell of tomatoes made Harry’s mouth water. He could tell what was missing from that distance. 

“Have you added basil?”

She looked up at him, noticing his closeness, and a pretty blush spread over her cheeks. She tasted one more spoonful before smiling broadly, dashing out of the door and back again. She came back with a shriek, shaking the droplets out of her hair. Harry couldn’t contain his smile. 

Suddenly, as she was taking off her boots, a sparkling flash of blue caught Harry’s eye. Looking more closely, he froze. There were two blue butterflies, Adonis blues, flying around her head. One settled into the mass of pinned curls, the other kept looking for a perch. 

Harry’s heart soared. how he had missed his butterflies! Their gentle movements mesmerized him and, unconsciously, he took a step forward. He didn’t notice the curious look Rebecca shot him when he reached up to touch one of the butterflies. She didn’t stop him, didn’t move, as if she knew something was happening that she couldn’t see. 

Harry felt the flutter of the butterfly’s wings on his fingers and smiled. Rebecca had never seen him smile like that before. He had never smiled happily, always offered small, sad, smiles. She wondered what it was that made him so happy tonight. 

The moment ended when their eyes met, Harry blushing furiously and taking a step back; Rebecca reaching up to touch her hair, her blush deeper than before. 

“I’m sorry, I-”

“I’ve never seen you smile like that.” 

Her tone was curious, not displeased. Harry couldn’t help but answer honestly: 

“There were butterflies around your head. Blue ones. I’ve always loved blue butterflies.” 

Rebecca frowned slightly. Butterflies? In this season? Surely that was impossible, and she would have seen them. Harry lowered his eyes to the ground, realizing how utterly mad that must have sounded. He was ready to take his leave when she said: 

“I love blue butterflies too.” 

Taglist: @justawriterinprogress; @tonystrksslut; @emilyyblackkk; the-sea-belt; @flybi91

Comment below if you want to be added to my HH taglist!