#/ anyways 2 for 1 deal romance. double the mental illness and double the love or whatever

[fatewoven]

It starts, as ever, with hunger.

The world responds with a heavy silence as his figure remains motionless beneath the Ossuary's unforgiving reveal; the taut pull of muscle, an adjustment of his stance, arms at the ready despite the lack of visible weaponry. He's a collection on a child's shelf, prodded at with sharp, biting things for the sake of cruel curiosity; observed behind magic thick as laminated glass like an insect caught on a hot summer's day. An awful discovery to unearth mortality in such a sunless place, the hours nonexistent, days foregone — lost to the slow drip of salt water throughout the prison as he's fed things worse than bile and any poison.

His stomach didn't even have the strength to reject it anymore.

Distraction comes in the form of a memory, viewed from younger eyes: Illario raising a jar above their heads as the sun's rays refract on the walls of his room. His cousin could stare at scorpions, moths, grasshoppers, and spiders for hours. Watch them feed. Watch them die over the weeks, keeping the ones frozen in their death curls for days longer. A strange way to pass the time when they could be training, but Lucanis never reviled him for the interest. Not when he looked like he wanted to cry each time they failed to survive captivity. "Female spiders eat the males after mating, Lucanis. I can't decide whether that's tragic or not."

"Referring to yourself and Maria after she yelled at you in the streets, are you? You'll live yet to find another one to warm your bed."

And how Illario's face twisted with rage! (How much his cousin resented their differences, the stark chasm that he cannot yet cross to catch up to the favored Dellamorte. A pity Lucanis never saw it as a young man, never addressed it with the gravity needed. Never offered comfort they both wished for.)

Not back. There.

His heart seizes. Then restarts with after an aborted stutter.

A ghost of tenderness skims over features still too gaunt. Still too pale after months of drowning. Lucanis opens his eyes — and hears not the constant, weary churning of the sea. The wind picks up here, surrounding the secluded area from three cardinal directions. Neither cold nor hot, but a mix of perpetual spring-autumn tides as he takes stock of his, their, surroundings. Spite?

You were going back. Again. Pressed close, always close and deeper than skin, the spirit's timbre rumbles down his nerves, and Lucanis tilts his head back against cool stone. They're somewhere up high, he realizes as Spite frets about, this steel-smoke besotted spirit who cares too much to relent for even a moment. Too stubborn, just like him. Obstinate as it is loyal. The breadth of the Fade stretches in a dizzying landscape, one devoid of an end to the horizon as he looks around from the top of the building to find equilibrium — the kitchen hall. Safe at the Lighthouse, at least.

Too tired to argue, let alone disagree with its bitter-bitten observation, Lucanis lets the demon curl closer, the twilight hues of its outline merging with his in a facsimile of what could be described as an embrace. "A dream, nothing more." Can't keep every dream. At bay. Stop dwelling already. Within the Fade, his personal demon feels more solid; he wills it to be more solid, trusting in it to maintain this mutually beneficial arrangement with murmured praises. Spite, feathers ruffled, expression set in such a way Lucanis wouldn't be able to recognize it in a mirror, sighs and rests its head on his sternum. His hand, torn to the bone by serrated knives and mended countless times over, hovers between those outstretched wings. The not-feathers require no preening, but he goes through the meditative motions anyway; a balm to both their senses.

"If you say so." Such a demanding creature, his determination! Lucanis entertains it if only because it's simple, harmless fun. A far cry from the violence they hatched from, forced to share a rather rotten existence. Quicker than a blink, Spite's face materializes in front of his own. It leans in, head tilted avian-thoughtful. I demand so. And the impression of its affection is soft, this dream-woven thing, gentle and paradoxically bold, teeth and want sharp as a serrated blade. Lucanis hums into it, warm against the frown of its lips, limbs loosening — no longer curling inwards like something dying.

Crisp air. Sunlight on water. The morning after the thunderstorm.

Intense is one word for it, and the pulse matching his own echoes as a melody in the magic-tinged air. A headache lessened. A nightmare dissipated, even by a margin. It mellows the stomach-churning hunger to something much more bearable.

He shivers as claw-like fingers drag against his core, at the assumed soul every mortal must have. Mine, whispered against the skin. Spite thinks of the rotten husk of his heart as dear, and Lucanis lets it continue with its delusions. "Give me better dreams, then." The proverbial throw of the gauntlet, edged by a grin, is met with equal persistence. He laughs, and Spite echoes the sound with the flutter of its wings, always there to catch him.

[sokkastyles]

Hi, firstly I am not a shipper, so I have no problem what people ship. I have read multiple about Zutara, and I could understand why people love this pair. That said, I do have a belief that Zuko, Katara, Aang, Sokka, Suki, Toph and the other young kids who got involved may need therapy before they can even think of romance, because of their involvement war. Post therapy, I think Zutara would work. Your thoughts?

Hi, thanks for the ask.

While yes, I do think that ideally, in the real world, people dealing with trauma/mental illness should get professional help, here's the thing about the "I ship x with therapy/happiness, not romance" stance that bugs me:

1) Stories are not obligated to work like reality anyway

2) This statement implies that someone can't work on themselves/their mental health and ALSO find romance. That people who are suffering from trauma or mental illness must fix themselves first. Which ignores that recovery is an ongoing process and that different people have different needs, and that part of recovery is often getting support from the people around you, whether it be a hired professional, friends and family, or yes, a significant other.

And while I get the backlash against the "character was fixed by love" trope, romantic love or companionship can absolutely be a factor in helping someone get better. In fact, requiring people to fix themselves by themselves before they even THINK of doing things that normal people would do or having relationships with others is 1) isolating, and 2) stigmatizing, and can actually make a person worse.

I think there are absolutely instances where romantic love can be unhealthy in these types of cases, especially if the personal issues are linked to the relationship or one partner is using the other as a crutch. Those are things I see in both MZ and KA, by the way. Mai and Zuko cling to each other because of their mutual hatred of the world, and feed off of each other's negativity. Aang and Katara both put huge expectations on each other because of their own personal traumas and that's what causes most of their arguments with each other, and none of that seems to ever have been fixed in the series proper, the comics, or LoK.

Zuko and Katara, on the other hand, are a good example of both characters working through trauma and helping each other without putting expectations on the other or counting on the other to "fix" them. Which is actually the healthiest way for this type of dynamic to occur. When you get into a relationship with someone, you have to decide what part of their burden you are willing to bear, and sometimes people don't heal or take a long time to heal. The problem arises if one person is unfairly burdened or feels obligated to handle the other person's problems in a way that is unbalanced or nonconsensual or causing them undue suffering to the point where the relationship is affecting their own well-being.

Some people say that it's "unfair" for ANY character to have to "deal with" another character's pain as a reason not to ship them and I really, really, hate this argument. If I want to imagine Zuko and Katara in love and choosing to enter into a relationship with one another, then I'm imagining that they choose to be with each other despite those obstacles, that loving each other is something they choose despite the days when it's hard. Of course, nobody should stay in a bad relationship out of obligation to the other person, but it's okay for people in a relationship to take care of and rely on each other, if that's what they choose to do. Particularly in the US, there's still such a stigma on mental health that we often think that people who are suffering should do so by themselves, and needing help is seen as a moral failure. At the same time, we also see people who struggle with their mental health as so dependent on others that they're incapable of making their own relationship choices. It's a double standard and the only thing it does is perpetuate stereotypes and needless suffering.

The important thing to remember is that people are still individuals, recovery is a process that is often nonlinear, and that entering into a relationship is a decision that two people have to make for themselves.

[batsaboutbats]

2021 Reading

I used the Calendar spread for this reading. While it’s not exactly how you’re supposed to use it, I make each card a corresponding month to predict the year and the events of each month. You start from left, and go around in counterclock wise direction. The center card predicts general influences on the inquirer. So let’s get started to see what a shitshow 2021 is going to be.

Card 1/January: ACE OF SWORDS reversed (could also be personality of the inquirer in traditional reading.)

FORCE, is the nature of this card. And not in a good way. Injustice, wanton abuse of power, misunderstandings, and malice abound. Mental stress and anxiety are going to be the name of the game in January for me. This tracks, especially considering the pandemic, the piece of trash littering the oval office, and our senate doing it’s best to murder and subjugate us. Fuck them, I’m too spiteful to die.

Card 2/ February: PAGE OF CUPS (money, possessions, material concerns)

Pale, fair haired with blue eyes, the Page of Cups is a gentle young person with kind heart and mind, both loving and artistic. They are also insightful. If female, somewhat tomboyish. They can be emotionally vulnerable and need affection to thrive. I’d suppose that it’s referring to myself as the physical description fits, and it means to be more concerned about emotional wealth rather than the kind valued by coin. God knows in this current climate that kindness is sorely in shortage. I’ll try to be understanding of others and not let my anger rule me.

Card 3/March: JUDGEMENT reversed (short journeys, siblings, learning.)

Opportunities will be ignored, and I might fall victim to stubbornness-- such as refusing to move on from a position. Fear of death, illness, and refusal to change when it is vital to do so. This card can delay outcomes.

Hm. I’m gonna hedge a bet that it means covid-19 might explode beyond imaginable grief in this month, due to the fact that it’s around this time that regular people should be getting access to the first round of the vaccines. I have little faith in people’s patience right now, so I have a feeling they’ll think one shot is enough and try to go back to life as before the virus hit. 9_9 Guess I need to be diligent and stay on my toes. Be flexible and roll with the punches!

Card 4/April: THE TOWER reversed (home life, childhood?)

False accusations, imprisonment, or oppression.

Definitely a volatile month full of trying challenges. I’ll most likely initiate a change of attitude that may shock or dismay those around me. Basically, I’ll become a rebel. Deal with it, I guess. Since this is focused on home life, I’m guessing that my family and I are going to be butting heads, a lot.

This is most likely the month I may have to finally have a showdown with my father-- who has shown himself to be brain damaged. Yes, really. He had a stroke a few years ago, and I don’t care that he’s still able to walk and talk just fine, he *changed* after it. His personality became a complete stranger to me and I don’t even recognize him anymore. The vile shit he says casually makes my skin crawl and I really worry about my safety sometimes.

April may be the month I have to decide what to do about my dad. Be it taking Power of Attorney, or placing him into a retirement/nursing home... It really is up in the air. I just know it’s going to be a bad month.

Card 5/May: THE WORLD reversed (Romance, leisure, fun, and children.)

Success has yet to be won in this month. Insecurity might be the thing standing in my way, while I’m lacking vision. I’m probably going to be too focused on what is, and not what could be.

Maybe my battle with my family will spill into this month, and my gentleness is going to fuck me over. I need to harden myself and do what is necessary even if people don’t like it. There’s no time for leisure of fun in this month it seems.

Card 6/June: KING OF SWORDS reversed (work, habits, health matters.)

The King is a distrustful, suspicious man. He plays mind games, and double deals to spite those around him. Sounds like it’s talking about my dad, here to ruin my birthday. Jesus fucking Christ.

Seems like his health and needs are going to take up most of my attention, while I’m in the middle of balancing work and trying to keep my sanity balanced. I will have to be careful of my own health and not allow him to drag me down into depression. This is going to be a rough month.

Card 7/July: 4 OF CUPS (partnerships, business or personal.)

BOREDOM is what this card means.

Stability will be achieved in this month. What more can be achieved anyway? Familiarity breeds contempt during this month. Which is to say, my Dad is still going to be his terrible self and there’s nothing I can do to change him. Most likely I’m going to accept that the father I thought I had doesn’t exist anymore...just take my fate for what it is.

To heal myself I’m going to need a new start-- either with a new activity or a few new friends. Maybe both.

Card 8/ August: 5 OF SWORDS reversed (sexuality, shared resources, inheritance, investments.)

DEFEAT is what the card means. Stubborn pride, and refusal to give in when all is lost. Most worrying is that this card more often than not signifies a funeral. Is this the month my father leaves the mortal coil? Possibly. I’m going to be careful of being too bullheaded, and learn to cut my losses.

I may need to keep an eye on my retirement funds this month.

Card 9/ September: 7 OF CUPS (Distant travels, religion, philosophy)

CHOICES is the meaning of this card. Important decisions will have to be made, with numerable options to choose from. I’ll have to be careful and pick the right one though. Doorways will open for me, but I must walk through the correct door. I’ll need to be extremely intuitive here. I’m guessing that I might inherit something after all, and will have to decide what to do with it wisely.

Card 10/October: THE SUN (career, status, direction)

SUCCESS is the meaning of this card. Oh thank fuck. Finally, some good fucking content. While glory is overrated imo, I’ll take happiness and achievement. It seems I really did pick the right choice in September afterall. Good news will come this month, and a possible birth of a child may come to my family. My sister? Might be the one it’s hinting at here, but as far as I know, the good news is probably financial related. Hot sunny places might be in my future. Is this the month I begin to prepare to head to Australia? Either for a visit or a new life? Not sure.

Card 11/ November: 6 OF SWORDS (friends, social life, hope for future)

TRAVEL is what this card denotes... Movement away from danger, discretion is the better part of valor here. I should move in company of others in similar circumstances, and luckily my immediate problems will be solved in this month, whatever those may be. There is only one direction to go in, and it’s thankfully positive! Hm. Maybe this is going to be the start of something more permanent.

Card 12/ December: THE FOOL (secrets, hidden enemies, where you may be your own worst enemy.)

NEW BEGINNINGS is what this card holds for me. Nothing can harm me anymore, no matter what I do. I can take a risk and start a new chapter of my life without fear. I should take the unexpected as it comes with open arms and embrace change. Unconventional people could enter my life and be what I need to finally be happy. I no longer have to look over my shoulder in fear that the other shoe is going to fall. The worst is over. Perhaps Covid-19 is finally tamed and the world is settling down again.

This is a good sign, and tracks so far with the others. I like seeing gradually progression in readings because it gives me confidence that it’s going to be a slow ease into change and I can roll with it all better. 

Center Card/General influences on me, the inquirer: 9 OF SWORDS

Cruelty is what this card means. Refusal to accept help or feel that improvements cannot be made. However their is light at the end of the tunnel, I just have to learn to adapt and rely on others sometimes. Not everything is horrible and there is good in the world. I just have to look for it a little harder is all.

2020 has left deep scars on me. I just have to remember that the future will be ok as long as I’m positive and believe in myself.